#and he doesn't want to hurt her to begin with
Text
Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.
Chapter seventeen ⭐︎ What am I supposed to do? If there’s no you.
Warnings: slight angst, mentions of unrequited love, mean!robin, slight jealousy, this chapter is mostly written from Robin's pov and there are only a few moments of Steve's and Blondie's pov
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Summary: Robin uncovers Steve's secrets and more... but he doesn't get the reactions from her that he expected.
Word count: 6k+
Author's note: @hellfire--cult and I came up with some new ideas for the story and uh, buckle up and enjoy it... hehehe also thanks for helping me, my love
Series Masterlist ⭐︎ Previous Chapter
♡
Steve’s smile seems permanent nowadays, never falling, always lingering, even when Keith is scolding him about something he had done wrong or hadn’t done at all.
His skin is glowing and his eyes are full of happy emotions, he seems giddy, always excited about something.
Until now, Robin was sure that she had seen him happy before – when he saw her again after she went on a two weeks trip with her mom, when his favorite movie came out and he dragged her to the theater, when he found the perfect brown coat that he had been looking for at every store for weeks.
And yes, he was happy in these moments, but this, the happiness that is stuck on his face now, is something else, something different, something deep.
And whatever it is that is making him happy, should make her feel the same way, because he is her best friend, and all that she wants for him is exactly this – happiness. But how can she feel any positive emotions, when he is keeping secrets from her? When he isn’t letting her be part of this? When he is cutting her out?
Robin was always sure that they would never keep secrets from each other, but it’s happening, it’s happening again for her, being pushed aside, being left out, losing a best friend – because this is what it is, right? She is losing him, he is beginning to cut her out of his life, not telling her things he would’ve normally not shut up about, because he talks about everything with her, at least he used to.
This is how it always begins, this is always the first step of losing a friend. She is no stranger to it.
But it hurts, it hurts worse than it ever did before.
Because this is Steve, someone she considers a soulmate.
Someone she thought would never do this to her.
“What’s with the grumpy face?” Steve asks, pulling her out of her depressing thoughts.
Robin raises her eyebrows, looking away from the passing trees, she sinks deeper into the passenger seat and turns her head to look at him, shrugging.
“Is everything okay?” Steve asks as he glances at her with a look of concern.
No.
She should say no and confront him but she doesn’t know how without making things awkward, without pressuring him to talk, without risking losing him sooner than later.
“Yeah,” she mumbles and reaches for the backpack between her feet, busying herself with it as she rummages through the tiny pockets to find her chapstick.
“Are you sure?”
She can’t help but roll her eyes at the skeptic tone in his voice, she keeps her head low, gaze locking onto the chapstick she has been looking for, she picks it out and leans back again.
“Yeah, just tired,” she murmurs.
Steve keeps glancing back and forth between her and the road, holding the steering wheel tightly as he shoots her a teasing smirk, lowering the volume of the song playing.
“Long night with Vickie?”
Her lips twitch and despite the annoyance bubbling inside of her, her cheeks heat up, growing darker until she’s blushing red. She applies her chapstick, welcoming the peach taste on her lips. She can feel his eyes on her, and it only makes her blush deeper as she hides her face from him.
It confirms his question and it makes him chuckle.
“I’m glad you’re having fun, Robin.”
“Shut up,” she murmurs under her breath, unable to fight the redness off her cheeks. She closes the chapstick again, putting the cap back into place, she leans down to put it back in her backpack when it falls from her hands and rolls under the seat, making her groan and curse in annoyance.
“Always turning into a klutz when you’re nervous,” Steve comments, causing her to glare at him.
“I’m not nervous.”
Steve chuckles, narrowing his eyes at her, “yes you are, I mention Vickie and you’re turning into a blushing, nervous little girl with a first crush even though she is literally your girlfriend.”
“That is so not true!” She gapes at him, despite it being true.
He shakes his head in amusement, “yes it is, in case you forgot, you’re my best friend, I know you like the back of my hand and right now, you’re nervous!”
Maybe his words should put her mind at ease, maybe they should be enough to show her that she is not losing him, after all, but it’s not that easy, is it?
She only rolls her eyes in response and looks away, turning back to the window and looking out at the downtown streets now. She feels relieved to see the Family Video sign, looking forward to jumping out of his car and throwing herself into work so she can stop thinking about her depressing thoughts and giving into the fears of losing him.
Maybe she is just overthinking, the way she always does.
The moment Steve stops the car, Robin gets out and slams the door, opening the one to the backseat so she can look for her chapstick. She leans down and squints her eyes, patting the car mats before she stretches her arm out under the seat, trying to find it.
Steve walks around the car and stops in front of her, his eyes flash with amusement as he takes in the sight of his best friend, her eyebrows squished together, tongue poking out between her lips, her body angled uncomfortably as she searches for her newest chapstick.
“I swear to god is there a portal all my chapsticks vanish to?” She grumbles.
Steve snorts at her words, “yeah, I’m sure they all pile up in the upside down somewhere.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised! Every time I buy a new chapstick it just fucking disappears!”
“That’s because you leave them everywhere,” Steve chuckles, placing his hands on his hips as he keeps watching instead of helping. His grin grows when she throws the middle finger at him.
The look of concentration on Robin’s face, transforms into something else, confusion and curiosity, her brows shoot up instead, her lips parting as she reaches for not only her chapstick but also something else, something soft, something lacy. She pulls it out from under the seat, hooking it around her pointer finger, she holds it up in front of her face, examining it before revealing it to Steve.
A lacy thong.
One that clearly belongs to a girl.
One that surely wasn’t there a few weeks back when she helped him clean his car.
So her suspicions weren’t right, after all – she would’ve been surprised if they were.
Steve has been so secretive about whoever it is that he is seeing, she knows that they don’t belong to any of the girls he was hooking up with at the beginning of this year, and she doesn’t even need to see his face to confirm something she already knows.
But if it isn’t one of them and if it isn’t a guy after all, who is he seeing?
Is it someone he is ashamed of?
Is that the reason why he is being so secretive, why he keeps sneaking around behind her back and not telling her the truth about something he wouldn’t have shut up about if it were anyone else?
“Robin?”
Steve’s voice snaps her out of her thoughts and she slowly turns around to face him, with the thong in one hand and her chapstick in the other.
His hands fall off his hips, his hazel eyes grow wide, his lips part and his cheeks grow a cherry red when he sees the flimsy material hanging off her finger.
For a moment, she forgets about his secrets and how much it hurts her that he is hiding from her. The look on his face is so comical, she can’t even help but let the giggles tumble from her lips as she raises back to full height, standing right in front of him as she laughs in his face.
His cheeks grow redder and redder, making her laugh harder.
“I-I uh–” Steve stutters, unable to come up with words to say.
“I-I uh,” Robin mocks him through her giggles, “whose are these?” She asks as she lets them dangle in front of his face, stretching her arm out.
Steve rolls his eyes at her, his blush continuing to grow beneath her gaze. His shoulders slump and his mind panics as he tries to think of what to say.
What can he say?
That these belong to Heidi or Linda or whoever else it was that he had boring sex with before you?
Steve can’t even bring himself to lie, not even to save himself and you.
He can’t mention another girl, just uttering these words would make him feel awful. He can’t do it. He just can’t.
“Hm?” Robin tilts her head, wiggling her brows at him.
As he stands in front of her and he looks into her curious eyes that are layered with something more, he can’t help but wonder what would happen if he just told her. He wants to talk about it, he wants to talk about you, he wants to talk about his feelings that he could only keep to himself so far.
But what would Robin think knowing how horrible he was to you? How horrible you have both been to each other?
She would try to talk some sense into him and make him stop this thing between you and he isn’t ready to let this go, he will never be.
So he turns around and leaves her question unanswered, knowing that she won’t stop until she gets the truth out of him and it makes him nervous but what can he do?
He doesn’t see the way her shoulders slump, the way her eyes cross with defeat, the way she sighs and looks down.
“Come on, we got more important things to do then talk about thongs, Robin.”
“Right,” she murmurs as her teasing smile slowly falls, she throws the black lace back into the car and slams the door before she follows him into the store, staring at his back as she walks behind him.
Steve greets Keith a little kinder than usual, he walks with his back straight and his head held high, he whistles as he makes his way into the office to clock in and she stays quiet, watching closely, observing him and the fresh hickeys on his neck, the ones that haven’t been there yesterday afternoon when he dropped her off at Vickie’s. It’s always the same exact spot, sometimes his neck is littered in them but there is always that one special spot that never misses the mark on his skin, that little spot behind his ear.
That’s how she knows that it’s only one girl that he is seeing and she is also the reason why he is turning down all the others that have been shooting their sickly sweet smiles at him. Something he wouldn’t have done a few months back.
“Are you bringing Vickie tonight?” Steve asks as he throws on his vest, “to game night, I mean?”
Robin furrows her brows, looking over her shoulder at him, “game night? I figured we’d never do that again after what happened with you and uh… Blondie,” she chuckles nervously.
Something in his eyes shifts, something in his demeanor changes for a moment. Sadness, anger and regret crosses his features and she sees it all so clearly but she isn’t surprised, she didn’t mean to strike a nerve but she knows she did.
He felt awful after the words he threw at you, that night.
And knowing him, he still feels the same even when you get along now.
But there is something else in his eyes, something she can’t figure out yet.
Steve breaks eye contact and he scratches the back of his neck as he keeps his eyes trained on the ground.
“I uh, yeah that will never happen again.”
She doesn’t quite understand the meaning his words hold.
And at that time, she also doesn’t know yet, that only a few hours later, she will finally get closer to the answers she has been seeking, that her eyes will be more open to what is happening right in front of her nose.
Because that night, she notices something she hasn’t paid much attention to before but a feeling inside of her, tells her that she should have done that a long time ago.
And maybe, maybe she is just seeing things that aren’t there, that her eyes betray her and want to give her something just so she can put her mind to rest but even after rubbing her eyes, even after squinting and trying to see with a clear mind, the sight in front of her is still there and very much real.
The noises from the living room, the chatter of her friends and the giggles of her girlfriend as Dustin tells her a story, fade into distance as she steps closer and closer to the kitchen where Steve had disappeared to, moments after you have left the living room to get another drink.
You’re standing by the window, face to face and way too close for two people who couldn’t even be near each other, a few months ago. A smile is resting on your face, matching his own.
Steve leans closer to you, whispering words that Robin can’t make out from this distance and it annoys her to no end because she wants to know what he said to you, what exactly made you giggle in a way she never heard you do.
This is strange, this is so very strange – it shouldn’t be, and maybe she wouldn’t even think anything of it had you not been fighting all the time not too long ago, because after all, you two could be just friends who are gossiping about something, the hushed whispers and the amused giggles indicate it at least.
But you aren’t friends, are you?
You are still just Steve and Blondie, forced to be around each other because of your mutual friends, forced to get along to keep the peace.
But maybe things are changing, maybe you are actually getting along now and not because of her or Eddie or even the teens, maybe you are just becoming friends, actual friends.
This is the only explanation to what she is seeing.
Anything else would just be… unbelievable.
And still, she decides to keep a closer eye on Steve and you.
Her suspicions and thoughts she deemed as ‘crazy’ become less and less crazy as time passes and she continues to pay attention to you both, how you talk to each other, how you act around each other, how you look at each other, how Steve behaves when he is around you.
It’s so obvious and it’s so right in front of everyone’s faces and still, she doubts that her suspicions hold any meaning, too insane are the thoughts in her head.
But then the signs start showing – from the pink scrunchie in his car, to the cherry chapstick on his nightstand and the second toothbrush in his bathroom, from the perfume that always lingers on his clothes to the cologne on yours, from the moments you are both not around to the lies he speaks into the phone when she asks why he didn’t come to movie night at Eddie’s place.
And as she grows more aware of his weird behavior and yours, she also notices that there is someone else who is acting differently – Eddie.
She notices the way he looks at you and Steve, the way the latter is getting warning glances and glares, the way you are getting soft ones filled with pity and it confirms it all to her.
You are Steve’s mystery girl.
Eddie knows, why can’t she know?
Does Steve feel embarrassed about you and your shared history of hatred?
Questions keep piling up in her brain and instead of confronting her best friend about it all, she keeps it all to herself, hoping that she won’t have to confront him at all, hoping for him to tell her about it all when he feels comfortable to, hoping that nothing changed between them, that she is still his best friend, that he will still talk to her.
But her wishes don’t come true, Steve doesn’t make the first move, he continues on with the secrets and the lies, he doesn’t notice the implies that she makes when she asks him what he is doing on evenings he isn’t with her and the group, or the way she subtly begins to mention you.
She doesn’t even need the confirmation anymore as days continue to pass, she figures it out on her own, she knows for sure now, her suspicions are no longer… suspicions. And yet, a certain moment, a certain sight that plays right in front of her, still shocks her.
In Hopper’s backyard is where you all find yourselves on a warm Saturday evening, the chatter is loud and the laughter echoes through the garden. The smell of freshly cut grass lingers in the air, as does the smell of sizzling meat from the grill.
Eddie brought Wayne with him, the older man chuckling at his nephew as he watches him stuffing his face with burgers, continuously complimenting Hopper’s ‘cooking’ skills to which the latter laughs.
Robin snorts at Eddie, she can’t tell whether he’s high or just really hungry but the faded look in his eyes gives him away, she blames Argyle for that.
“You should try his waffles!” El grins at Eddie, “Hop makes the best ones!”
“You mean the waffles he pops in the toaster?” Jonathan snorts beside her, making his stepdad chuckle.
“I mean, he puts a lot of stuff on them, it’s really good! Reeses pieces, sprinkles, heavy cream–”
“Ew,” Mike scrunches his nose, shaking his head at his girlfriend, “that’s too much.”
“Says the boy who puts maple syrup on his scrambled eggs,” Nancy laughs at her brother.
“Of course he does, Mike has the worst taste,” Dustin snickers before he takes a bite of his steak. “He also loves raisin cookies!”
“What’s wrong with raisin cookies?” Hopper asks mid chew, furrowing his brows at the teenage boy.
“Do not insult his raisin cookies,” Joyce points with a fork at Dustin, an amused smile appearing on her face.
“Oh,” Dustin frowns at the former chief, “you don’t have taste either, damn.”
While everyone watches the interaction between Dustin and Hopper, amused by the teenage boy and his harmless insults as his conversation with the older man continues. Robin nearly misses the whispers between you and Steve, the smile on your face as you say something to him that she can’t read on your lips.
You sit next to each other, very closely so.
It’s the same seats you sat in when Hopper and Joyce announced their engagement here, only this time, neither of you seems tense, you’re both relaxed, your features are soft, your smiles are real, your arms are touching and you aren’t avoiding each other the way you once did.
The pink scrunchie is in your hair, your lips are rosy red, from the cherry chapstick no doubt. Your eyes are glinting with happiness and it seems like a rare sight to Robin – she has seen you smile before, sure, but she had never seen you happy.
While she paid extremely close attention to her best friend, she didn’t really look closely at you, maybe she should have before.
She watches the way you push your plate away, leaving a few bites that you can’t seem to finish, you reach for your drink and lean back in your seat, placing your hand on your stomach.
Robin chews on her veggies, tilting her head as she tries to not make her staring too obvious but it’s difficult to look away from the both of you, especially when Steve does something that makes her eyes widen and her brows furrow in confusion.
If there is something that Steve always hated, then it was eating leftovers from someone else, he wouldn’t even share a drink or bite into something someone else had bitten into before and yet here he is eating the food you didn’t finish, eating the steak from your plate and you don’t even seem fazed by it, it’s almost as though it’s the most normal thing for you both, like this isn’t weird.
And she isn’t the only one who is staring in surprise, Eddie is looking at Steve with his big brown eyes.
Neither of you seem to notice and everyone else is too busy watching Dustin bicker with Hopper to notice her and Eddie’s wide eyes or the very couply behavior from you both.
One look under the table after accidentally dropping her napkin to the ground gives her the final confirmation when her eyes fall on Steve’s hand on your thigh and yours covering his own, your fingers playing with his.
Oh. Oh.
Maybe this should make her feel more surprised than it does, but really, the sight of Steve eating food from your plate nearly knocked her off her chair.
She is confused, so very confused and lost.
And more questions than ever before start running through her mind, nearly giving her a whiplash because it’s just too many at once and she doesn’t know how to deal with them, how to keep them to herself, they are starting to boil over and it prompts her to make a decision.
She’s had enough of his lies and his secrets.
She never kept anything from him, he never kept anything from her until this, until you. The sight of you suddenly fills her with anger, something she hadn’t felt before, especially not when it came to you.
You are the reason why her best friend is slipping through her fingers, why isn’t spending time with her the way he did before, why he isn’t talking to her.
And despite the growing rage you’re firing up inside of her, she can’t look away from you, watching how you whisper into his ear, watching the way you laugh with Eddie and Wayne, the way you help Joyce clean up and chat with Nancy, the way you hug El and Will goodbye and Max too before she hops on the back of Lucas’s bike and leaves with him and Dustin.
She almost wants to scoff when you get in the backseat of Steve’s car instead of the passenger seat that clearly belongs to you now, you leave your scrunchies here and your lipgloss apparently too as she looks down into the cupholder, rolling her eyes at the tiny bottle.
The sound of your laughter makes her eyes roll more intensely. Eddie jumps in beside you, neither of you are aware of the scowl on her face.
Steve notices though, but he doesn’t bring it up, not wanting to make her uncomfortable by asking any questions she might not want to answer in front of you and Eddie. She won’t even look at him, her eyes are glued on her rings as her fingers tap against her jean clad thighs, her jaw is clenched and he can practically feel the tension in her shoulders.
And it doesn’t go away, not even when he turns her favorite music on, not when he tries to crack a joke, nothing seems to lift her mood these days, and it worries him.
When he stops the car in your driveway, Eddie is the first to get out, clapping his hand on Steve’s shoulder and mumbling a goodbye to him and Robin. You follow suit, smiling at them both before your sneakers hit the cobblestones and you get out as well, about to shut the door when Robin’s voice stops you.
“Hey, Blondie.”
The tone in her voice is a mocking one, she only uses Steve’s nickname to tease you with it, but this sounds like something else.
You poke your head back into the car, eyeing Steve’s side profile before you train your eyes on his best friend, who is now looking back at you with a look in her eyes that is sending chills down your spine.
“Hmm?”
“Are you spending the night at Steve’s tonight?”
Your heart stops beating and your breathing stutters in your throat, your eyes grow wide just like Steve’s do. The chills that her looks just caused, running down your whole body and filling you with shock.
She raises her eyebrows at you, giving you a mocking smile.
Eddie stands behind you, frozen just like you are.
Steve holds the steering wheel tightly, staring at his best friend with a pounding heart – he knew she would figure it out, that it would only be a matter of time after what she had found in his car.
A sigh falls from his lips and he begins to curse at himself inwardly, feeling guilt rushing through him for lying to her, for putting you into this position, he can see the fear in your eyes and he doesn’t quite know what it means, but it makes him want to protect you from the anger in Robin’s features.
“Robs–”
“If you are, I’m sorry but I need to talk to my best friend tonight… if we are still considered that,” she snaps at you, catching you off guard once again when she turns around after cursing you with a glare.
Steve furrows his brows at her, pursing his lips as he shakes his head a little.
“Sweets,” Eddie mumbles behind you, clasping a gentle hand around your elbow, “come on.”
You blink, nodding to yourself as you gulp down the nervousness.
Steve looks back at you before you can leave and close the door, you see the way his eyes soften when they meet your own, the way his lips twitch and he tilts his head at you, mouthing a few simple words at you, ones that are enough to give you a sense of comfort after this.
‘It’s gonna be okay.’
It’s not just a few words, it’s a promise.
And for some reason, you find it easy to believe, despite the nervousness in your stomach.
Before you can say anything to him, before you can mouth something back to him, Eddie pulls you away from the car and shuts the door after Robin tells Steve to drive.
Your best friend puts a comforting hand on your shoulder, eying your worried expression as you watch the burgundy car leave your driveway, speeding down the road and getting lost in the distance.
A heavy sigh falls from your lips and you bring your hand up towards your face, biting your thumbnail in anxiousness. You turn around to face Eddie, seeing his face so clear despite the darkening night sky.
He nods at you, “it’s gonna be alright, Robin is just mad, I was mad too, sweetheart… remember that.”
“Yeah but–”
“No buts,” he shakes his head at you, “I don’t– I don’t know where you two are going with this but, I didn’t make you stop, she won’t either.”
Eddie doesn’t know why he is even encouraging this, knowing very well how badly this could end for you, but the need to comfort you feels so much stronger than thinking logically.
“Yeah,” you whisper.
He is right, you know he is.
You were anxious about losing him before, thinking that Steve might want to stop seeing you after Eddie found out – but he didn’t want to stop, he might not want to stop now either, maybe things will just go back to normal after this night, you won’t let a moment like this crush the hope that has been spreading inside of you in the past weeks.
You are the only one for Steve, right now, he told you so.
And there has to be a reason for it.
The hope in you, isn’t for nothing… right?
You won’t let Robin take that away from you.
Eddie’s brown eyes soften even further, he wraps his arm around you and starts leading you to your house, “now come on, we’ll get that ice cream pint from your freezer and watch some movies until we crash out on your couch.”
You smile at him, feeling grateful to have him here with you.
“I gotta thank Buckley for ruining your date night with Harrington, I missed our slumber parties.”
You chuckle, despite the uneasiness in your stomach.
“I missed them too, Eds.”
-
The tension in the car is so much stronger, so much bigger than it was before because now he knows why Robin was acting so weird, why she always seemed so annoyed and hurt, and he understands it, he really does, but he had his reasons to keep this all a secret from her, yet it does nothing to mend the guilt that spreads through his body.
He lied to her and the upcoming conversation at his house already fills him with so much nervousness that it makes him grip the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turn white.
Is this the moment where he will lose his best friend? He wonders.
You didn’t lose Eddie, even though he seemed hurt about your secrets too, you talked it out and everything went back to normal – you didn’t lose Eddie and you didn’t stop seeing him.
But Robin’s reaction already seems so much worse than Eddie’s, she seems much angrier, much more hurt and the way she looked at you, even made him cower in his seat.
Was that jealousy on her face before?
Does she think that you took her spot in his life?
He parks the car and wastes no second to get out, taking a deep breath of the fresh air he is surrounded by now. He wants to stay here for a moment but Robin has other things in mind. She angrily makes her way up to his front door, marching up the stairs and waiting for him to follow and unlock the door – with a sigh, he complies.
His hands shake a little as he looks for the house key on his chain, he brushes past her and keeps his gaze down, licking his lips and clearing his throat as he prepares for whatever she is about to hit him with.
He wanted her to know, he really did, he had been dying to talk to someone about it but he couldn’t risk losing this, losing… you.
He steps into his home but doesn’t know which way to go, which way to turn to as the gnawing feeling in his chest begins to eat at him.
Steve throws the keys on the counter and turns on the light, flinching a little when she slams the door, he runs his fingers through his hair and turns around to face her.
He is met by her glare, an unimpressed expression resting on her features as she stands by the door, with her arms crossed over her chest.
“Do you want something to drink–”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She interrupts him, showing a sliver of hurt when those words fall from her lips.
Steve opens his mouth to speak, but she doesn’t let him.
“I thought I was your best friend,” Robin mumbles with a hurt tone in her voice.
The tension in his shoulders grows as the need to prove to her that she is still what she always was to him turns him desperate.
“You are! You are my best friend, Robin!”
Robin snorts and rolls her eyes at him, “mhm sure, doesn’t seem like it anymore, best friends don’t keep secrets from each other, Dingus!”
How can he tell her that this is exactly what keeps you both together?
That the secrets are the only thing making you his?
Robin’s blue eyes are filled with nothing but rage and as she stares at the man she loves like a brother, she can’t help but scoff.
“I can’t believe Blondie’s pussy is more important than our friendship.”
Anger flashes in Steve’s eyes, the mocking tone in her voice makes him frown.
“What the hell is your problem?” Steve asks in disbelief, not knowing this side of her, this snappy and rude behavior is something new to him.
Her blue eyes widen and she laughs at him, letting her arms fall to her sides, “my problem is that you were both complete assholes to each other, in front of everyone! And suddenly you start dropping friends – your best friend to be with a girl that you hated! Should I count down all the horrible things you have said about her?” She yells, throwing her arms up. “Or better yet let’s talk about all the horrible things she said to you.”
“Don’t.” Steve warns her, not wanting to be reminded of his past mistakes. He doesn’t even care about the words you once threw at him, none of them came even close to the hurtful things he said to your face and behind your back, to Tommy and Carol, to Nancy and the teens, to Robin – he can’t forgive himself for it.
Robin buries her hands in her hair, looking at him wide eyed as she laughs again, though not in amusement.
He understands her hurt, he understands her disapproval of the lies and the secrets but he doesn’t understand her anger towards you. He thought she liked you, he thought you both were getting along.
“How long has this been going on for?”
Steve closes his eyes, taking a deep breath as he places his hands on his hips.
He doesn’t need to think about it, he knows exactly how many days and weeks have passed since you started seeing each other.
“A little over two months.”
Robin nods with widened eyes, a breathy chuckle falling from her lips before she starts shaking her head, “wow.”
“Eddie found out by himself, just like you did… we weren’t going to–”
“Tell anyone? Why not?” She asks, growing suspicious of the shakiness in his voice and the panicked look on his face.
“Because, Robin, it's just… sex!” He says in frustration, like those words are meant to convince her but she can tell that he is struggling and it raises different types of questions in her head. “At least that’s what it was supposed to be…”
He had meaningless relationships and flings before, he felt conflicted about girls and sex a few times but she never saw him like this, so panicked and anxious, so defensive about a girl he once couldn’t stand.
So she lets the questions tumble from her mouth, pushing him into giving her the answers that she wants and she watches his reactions closely, the way his brows pinch together as his patience starts to wear thin, as the desperation and the frustration clings to his features and his cheeks grow red.
She can tell that he is trying to keep something to himself but that he is beginning to struggle, it’s going to burst out of him soon enough.
“What’s your problem with her anyways?” Steve snaps at her, shaking his head in confusion. “I thought you liked her!”
Yeah, Robin did like you but something about you makes her blood boil now. Those Friday nights Steve never missed to spend with her, slowly stopped. Those small little out of nowhere car rides to the stores in town, or little escapades to the city never happened again. She might have become friends with everyone else in the group… but no one understood her like Steve had.
And now she knows the reason for her loss… had been you. A person who does not deserve Steve, not even as a friend, not after the past you two had.
“Why are you so defensive about her? I mean are we talking about the same person? She’s had called you so many fucking things in the past, and – being her friend? I might have accepted, now just fucking her!? With what purpose!?”
“There’s no purpose when it comes to that, Robin. It’s just sex and you are over fucking exaggerating!” Steve’s face was getting redder, darker, and his chest was working faster as it took in quicker breaths.
“Over exaggerating!? Well, I am sorry for voicing out the fact you and I have not been hanging out like we always have! All for a girl you hated and she hated you back! And let’s not mention that she is in the same fucking friend group Steve!” She yells at him, taking him aback slightly, “What’s going to happen when you break things off!?”
And he can only blink a few times, gulp, look at her and try to process her words. He slowly shakes his head, making Robin’s tilt to the side in confusion.
“I am not planning on breaking things off, Robs.” And his answer only angers Robin, because she knows he is a few words away from saying what she thought he was feeling. That he likes you. That he got hooked. Stupidly so.
“Oh, so I guess the sex with her is fucking phenomenal then! Didn’t think Blondie had it in her–”
And Steve explodes.
“I want her, Robin!” He yells as the truth begins to leave the sacred place inside of him and he can finally speak them into existence. “For fucks sake, after Nancy I never thought I would feel anything of the sort again, and she makes it feel right! All of it! I don’t want her to leave, to leave this, to leave me! I don’t know what you want me to fucking tell you! What else do you expect from me!? To tell you that I’m in love with her!?”
His voice echoes through the hallway and then, silence.
Nothing but utter silence follows.
Two pairs of shocked eyes staring into each other.
His heavy breathing stops and his heart does too for a moment.
Steve knew it, he knew he was falling for you, that he fell for you and despite it, he wasn’t aware just how bad it had gotten him already, that it was more than feelings, more than a crush, it’s love.
Realization begins to dawn on him and he breaks eye contact and looks away from Robin’s stunned face and focuses his eyes on nothing in particular as he looks at the ground.
“Holy shit, Steve…” Robin mumbles as her angry eyes soften and sadness and pity takes over, only for him.
She expected everything but this.
From the moment she figured it out, she knew that there was more than sex, but she didn’t think that there was this. That his feelings run so deep, that love of all emotions is involved.
“I-I’m… in love with her,” Steve murmurs not to her but to himself.
Robin can’t tell what he is feeling, knowing that he has only figured it out himself.
But she knows what she is feeling.
Out of all the nice girls he could have, it just had to be you.
A girl incapable of love.
A girl who will only be another on his list to break his heart, to make him suffer and leave him in tears.
She won’t let that happen, she won’t let him get his heart broken again, especially not by you.
But how will she do that?
There’s shock on his face but happiness in his eyes, his lips twitch and curl into a smile as he lets himself fall into emotions he thought he’d never feel again.
He is hopeless, as he looks back up at her and she sees the gone look in his eyes, she knows he is hopeless and done for.
“Fuck… I’m in love with her.”
♡
tagging friends and mutuals
@prettyboyeddiemunson @taintedcigs @mysticmunson @corrodedcorpses @maroon-cardigan @thecreelhouse @ibellcipem @joekeerysmoles @munsonlore @sherrylyn0628 @munson-mjstan @agirlwholovesrockstars
#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington angst#steve harrington fic#stranger things angst
470 notes
·
View notes
Text
Murderbot and Pronouns
This is my personal opinion, so take it as such. But it felt like something worth saying.
I used to get very frustrated when people used the wrong pronouns for Murderbot. I remember thinking more than once, why can't they just get it right.
But, a few years ago, my mother read All Systems Red in Russian of all languages. In that translation, Murderbot is referred to, partially, as a robot, which is masculine in that language. When she talked to me about this human-robot, it was also in Russian, and using masculine descriptors. It became "he" by translation.
I'm told that in the Hebrew translation, the pronouns are feminine, but that might be hearsay.
Then, a dear friend of mine finally finished ASR! And she kept referring to MB as a "she." When I asked my friend why she did it, she said it was because of how its voice is described at the beginning of the book.
She'd imagined a tough-looking butch with short hair, a no-fucks-given attitude, and a kind voice. Like herself.
And that made me pause. She had seen herself in Murderbot the same way I had. Her choice of pronouns was coming from her perspective of the world, not from a desire to misgender MB. She wasn't trying to hurt anyone. She'd missed the pronouns (especially in book one) and saw herself in the main character.
And I understood her logic.
The thing she helped me realize as we spoke is that MB has unusual-by-US-standards pronouns, and when people didn't get them right, it made me feel like they wouldn't accept my pronouns either. That their supposed disrespect would extend to me, the person.
But that wasn't true. My friend knows my pronouns and doesn't get them wrong. It was never about that.
So, now I try to be kinder and gentler when I see people call MB a he/she/they. What I want is for people to respect my pronouns because I'm a living, thinking being, and I want my autonomy to be respected. And by being observant and kind to one of my favorite characters, people showcase that they may be kind to me and respect my autonomy.
And that's what I tell them now. I care about MB's pronouns because its autonomy is one way for me to explore my autonomy in a world that wasn't willing to give me the freedom to be myself.
And I find that people understand that, just like they see themselves in MB, so do I. And why that makes it important for me to see them get its pronouns correct.
And some people didn't read the books deeply enough to really let the "It/Its" sink in. Or they're trying to reference Skarsgard-MB without misgendering the actual human playing MB.
Either way, may I recommend kindness and compassion?
You're valid, your frustrations are valid (and this is to everyone, not to anyone specific). You deserve to have the world acknowledge your pronouns and your autonomy!
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
Here is Jude's drunken story with ZERO GUARANTEES MADE - this will not be entirely accurate, both by design and by accident. Enjoy my shitbrained version of a summary 💕
Jude and Ellis are assigned a mission to investigate/deal with rumors that a certain bar is engaging in human trafficking - getting women drunk and then selling them. Kate, being our do-gooder, asks if she can help of course, and Jude suggests she can go undercover as an employee if she wants to help. Kate is like, I'm sorry whut?? But Jude just smirks and challenges her - she said she wanted to help, is she gonna back out of it?
Kate declares she'll do it and thus finds herself employed at the bar, albeit more than a little nervous about flying solo on this. A fancy-looking fellow walks in and looks around before taking a seat at the bar, and the manager calls to Kate.
She bustles over and the fancy man says it looks like she's working hard - how about he buys her a drink as a reward?
She's handed a glass and recalls how the MO here is to get girls drunk and then sell them, so she hesitates. Sleazy Fancy Man says if she can't drink it he'll ‘help’ her, and she's spluttering for him to please stop as he begins forcing the glass to her mouth. The moment it touches her lips though she hears -
“The hell ya doin’?”
Shocked, Kate watches as Jude suddenly appears, grabs the glass, and downs the whole thing himself. Equally as shocked is Fancy Man, who immediately tries to scramble away before promptly being sent sprawling, tripping over Jude's foot. A smirking Jude says he seems to be pretty scared - what's he trying to hide? Oh right, can't just come out and say you're trying to buy a girl can you?
Ellis takes down the manager as he's trying to haul ass out of the bar too, and with a sadistic grin Jude kicks the dude in the side of the face and gleefully suggests they spill their guts.
After they've confessed and the bar has been shut down, Jude has Ellis take the two men away. He and Kate are walking back home, but she notices he's been uncharacteristically quiet. Usually he'd have been busy bitching her out by now, but tonight it's just crickets. And the moment she opens her mouth to say something, reaching out to him, his whole body sorta lurches.
Kate’s all JUDE! and she steadies him, noticing his breath is hella hot on her cheek as she does. She's like, holy crap are you sick??!
Jude calls her an idiot for even suggesting that, but he's standing there in kind of a daze, face red as he tells her - “There was something in the drink.”
Kate commences freaking out harder, all OMG WHUT ARE YOU OKAYYYY and earns Jude griping at her to quit her noisy-ass shouting. She tells him they gotta get him to Roger ASAP, and giving him her shoulder she hauls ass back to the mansion and Roger's basement.
Surprised to see them, Roger asks if Jude got hurt but Kate hurriedly explains the situation and Roger gives him an exam. He says there's nothing major going on, just that the drink had something in it that amplifies alcohol - makes you drunker faster. Nothing to worry about.
Kate's hella relieved, and Roger summarily boots them outta his lab, saying he doesn't have time to babysit drunk people AKA Jude is her problem now.
Since her room is closest, Kate drags Jude there. She's about to go grab him some water when he calls out an ‘Oi’
- and when she turns to ask what's up she suddenly finds herself flat on her back on the bed, Jude straddling her. He's like…JFC woman you seriously have zero concept of danger don't you?
His large hand caresses her stomach and works her blouse up, and Kate gasps out - what are you doing??? As she's sorta flailing, Jude grabs her and easily pins both wrists above her head with his other hand.
“...Why were you gonna drink it?” He asks, deapan. Kate sputters that she WASN'T going to, which only makes Jude scowl. “You had your mouth on it.”
“Why did you drink it?” Kate fires back.
His answer is to put his free hand back on her stomach, and Kate can't help the involuntary little squirm she makes at the feel of his warm fingers. Jude smirks and calls her dirty for getting all excited, which Kate vehemently denies…all the whole totally aware of how her embarrassment shows in her eyes.
Jude gets his patented sadistic look on his face as he asks if dat pussy she wants to be well and truly pounded...and when he lowers his mouth to lick her stomach, she can't stifle her cry.
Then, serious expression back, Jude tells her this'll be a good learning opportunity for such a hella perv - just before he bites down on her stomach, hard.
The sudden sensation has her whole body seizing up, her sight wavering, unable to tell what is pain and what is pleasure. Both all jumbled up.
“You really…” Jude starts to say something, but before he can finish, his whole body gives out and he flops down atop her. Kate panics, then realizes as he winds up holding her that he's passed the fuck out, peaceful expression and all. The complete mood change from moments earlier has her totally drained, unable to do much more than watch him sleep. Wrapped in his arms and the scent of tobacco and sandalwood she closes her own eyes too.
The next morning she wakes up, all uncomfortable, and realizes she's got a Jude blanket - his arms still around her and remembers he passed out like that, holding her. As she starts struggling to get free of his embrace, Jude wakes up and asks wtf she's doing.
FULL ON AWKWARD she's got Jude eye contact up close and personal as she manages a ‘good morning’ which he promptly scoffs at. And she tries not to think too hard about how sad she feels when he lets go of her…but as she watches him pour a glass of water something comes back to her.
“Why did you drink that drink yesterday?” She presses again.
Jude’s all, ehhhhh? Before brushing it off as the fact that if he'd dumped it out there'd have been no evidence so he'd taken it himself instead as proof basically. And he offers to get her some of the stuff if she wants it so badly and pour it down her throat.
Kate (who by now we're all aware can totally see through him) thinks how she KNOWS he most likely just did it to protect her.
Jude puts his coat back on and scowls. “You brought me all the way back here, and had that quack take a look at me…so we'll call things even between us.”
He stalks out of the room with that, leaving behind a stunned Kate. Sitting up tho she winces, and looks down to find a raw bite mark on her stomach. She traces it with her fingers, heat running through her as she does, then smashes her face into the pillow in a state of WHAT THE FUCK, ME?? mortified. Convinced she's not gonna even begin to forget about last night until those marks fade away.
#ikemen villains#ikevil#ikevil jude#spoiler#spoilers#ikemen villains spoilers#ikevil spoilers#help i love them so much#that hint of bickering too#I AM FED
108 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Moon Prince's Secrets 🌙
Hanako's evolution throughout history.
Amane, the enigmatic boy from the moon, as I sometimes call him. He made me create so many, many questions, he made me create so many, many hypotheses.
He started out as a playful boy, he didn't want anything serious, just to have fun and hide the darkness that had been stuck in his chest for so many years under the rug. The darkness that those eyes hid so well.
The darkness that guided him to do things he shouldn't do to save someone he loves. It's comically tragic that he planned to use Nene's life for a dead end, even though he never wanted to do anything bad to her, fate, the short path she had, guided him to those choices.
But still, he tried to give her the best life he could give, he didn't expect her to be so sweet and kind to him, that she would be the first person who would show so much affection, of course, she is not perfect, she makes mistakes , like anyone else, but she was there, when no one else was.
He fell in love with the sacrifice, and little by little the pain increased. It was like dejavu, reliving the same suffering again, of being destined to receive and give love to people who will leave, to people who are destined not to be by his side.
Because every reality he finds himself in, Tsukasa is never there as he should be, he's not there just as a younger brother, nothing more than that, in the same way that Nene is not there to be the woman who will live by his side. .
It's distressing.
The two try to save Amane, but he doesn't want to be saved, not if he can't live with the people he loves. What's the point of being alive if he won't be with the one he loves?
I can't call Hanako's evolution that, I must call it discoveries. He's still the same Hanako, the same Amane who trapped Tsukasa so he wouldn't be abandoned, the same Amane who tried to trap Nene so she wouldn't die, so she wouldn't abandon him.
He is slowly showing us sides of himself that we didn't know, it's not an evolution, it's just a little truth being shown here and there about his real nature.
The obsessive love, the love that hurts and that doesn't allow him to let go of the ropes, the boy who loves so intensely that he doesn't care about certain limits, not only for the people he loves, but also for himself.
How far will he go to get what he wants?
Amane started out not knowing how to talk about his own feelings, and he still doesn't know how.
Amane started hiding everything he could from the people he loved from the beginning, and he still does.
Amane knows that what he did in the past was wrong, but he continues to do the same.
Amane started out afraid to talk about his past and himself, he is still afraid.
Tsukasa and Nene are the same, the same mistakes he made with Tsukasa, he is making with her.
Or maybe not?
There are things he didn't allow himself to do with Nene. The death of Tsukasa and himself differs from Hanako's desire for Nene to live.
Tsukasa was surprised by this, Amane did a double murder, but he wants Nene to live. This time, he let her free from the prison he created, but still, Tsukasa says he is selfish.
That's because Amane killed Tsukasa, arrested him, but didn't give him the freedom to choose to leave, like he gave Nene.
Even though he had already tried to arrest Nene other times, Amane gave her the freedom to live, but did not give her the freedom to choose to take her own life, like he did with Tsukasa.
Amane's love imprisons.
His evolution…. how could I say… a boy who started one way and remains in that state… has he evolved or are we just getting to know him little by little?
He is someone who fears himself, he is not evolving, he is slowly showing us who he really is, making the same mistakes.
After all, Nene is just like Tsukasa, what happened to him will happen to her.
Perhaps?
Even after all these years, I still wonder who the real Amane is.
#toilet bound hanako kun#jibaku shounen hanako kun#tbhk#jshk#amane yugi#aidairo#yugi twins#hanako kun#hanakokun#jshk spoilers#jshk tsukasa#jshk hanako#jshk theories#jshk analysis#tbhk spoilers#tbhk manga#tbhk hanako#tbhk analysis
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
Small Fight
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
"Sampo Koski! How fucking dare you!" You shouted at him,clearly angered by him as tears threatened to spill from your eyes as his eyes widened with realization.
"Baby,Darling!-" the male begins to say,trying to be quick and trying to grab your hand, which you quickly moved it away from him.
You quickly get up from the seat that you were sitting on,walking out of the cafe pissed. You wanted to cry but also frustrated at yourself,sure you haven't been taking care of yourself weight wise but the way your lover said it or how he said it fucking upset you.
'It's fine love,it's not like you're gonna lose weight anytime soon.' Was his words as you were eating some Snapper Jam Appetizer with a side of Cosmic fried rice as you brought up the conversation of wanting to start a diet or wanting to go on mission to get more exercise and to spend time with him.
Ignoring your phone as you felt it going off along with vibrating like crazy from the calls and texts messages that you won't bother to look at. You decided to visit a friend,staying with them for a few days because you didn't want to come face to face with your lover,nor hear his pleads. You needed some space to calm down and collect yourself as you hide out at your friends place. You had turned your phone off because you got tired of hearing it. You had your knees tucked to your chest as your arms wrapped around them,resting your head on your knees,looking out the window,watching people going by. Sometimes you thought in moments like this it was unfair how life goes on without the care in the world,nor does time stop for anything. Closing your eyes for a moment, listening to whatever comes to your ears first,it felt peaceful. Calming your nerves some,as the sound becomes fainter and fainter as you slowly drifted off to sleep.
Sampo fucking curses to himself,"Good one Sampo.." he mutters,he had called your phone about fifty times and had sent you over twenty messages.
Baby? :(
I'm sorry,I apologize from the bottom of my heart for causing you such pain.
Please let's talk this out,I didn't mean it!:(
Honey.
My cinnamon roll.
I swear that I will be a better person and will never hurt you again from now on.
I need you
Honey Bunny, I'm so sorry if I brought tears to your eyes; it was not my purpose. Please accept my apologies..
Sorry for acting like a fool; that was not my intention. I'm hoping you'll be able to forgive me and allow me to love you once more.
Please,answer me. I wanna make things right!
Please message me as soon as possible.
I love you, baby♡
He frowns as you weren't answering him,he's worried he fucked this up so bad that it can't be fixed,he feels like something in him had died.he ran his fingers through his now unkept hair,pacing back and forth,"Sampo,you idiot..i have to fix this... i NEED to fix this." He grits his teeth,putting his phone back into his pocket as he as he starts walking hoping he'll find you. He already tried going to your place,you weren't there and he knew you loved your home but he checked else where like your favorite restaurant,he went to see Serval because you love to gossip with her. He went to your favorite park because nearby is an ice cream place,they had your favorite flavor there that no one else serves or sells. He asked some people if they had seen you which they all had said no,he was losing his mind. He sits at a nearby bench,staring at the ground as his eyes were dull and lack any life to them,he clearly wasn't happy.
What happens if he never sees you again?
What if you ended up hating him?
What if you decided to leave town without him knowing?
What would he even do?
You were the only thing that brought joy to him,his sunlight and energy source. He hold his hands together in front of him,clenching or trying to hold himself back from any negative thoughts,he knows its not working but he doesn't want to end up burning this whole city down to find you.
Because he will.
He stared at the ground for a long while,he doesn't know how long but when he comes back to reality it was near night time,maybe doing some jobs will get his mind off if things.
He stands up and finds random tasks at hand,nothing too crazy it was just delivering messages and looking for said things. He usually tries to scam - I mean, help them depending on the situation, but he wasn't really feeling like it, so he actually did the small taks. He did about maybe three to six before stopping,going to a small food stand nearby, and getting something to snack from the running from point A to point B.
He ate quietly to himself,as he tried messaging and calling you once more to only get your voice mail,"Great..she turned her phone off." He curses,finishing his food quickly,tossing it away.
"Baby.. please forgive me." He frowns,head hanging as some of his dark blue hair covers his eyes as his quivering lips turn into a scowl. He finally gives up for the night,heading back to his place,turning on the lights as he enters the room,and flopping down onto the couch,staring out into nothingness.
It was gonna be a long night for him,he could already tell.
You woke up,your body cracked as you moved,groaning in the process as you noted you didn't fall asleep on the bed. You got up,nearly falling on your face as your legs give out but managed to not fall somehow,you went to the bed,getting underneath the covers along with noticing or taking note that it was still dark outside,probably about maybe five in the morning. The bed felt empty and unusually cold,probably because you're usually cuddling your lover,enjoying his warmth or either fighting with him over the blankets. You missed him,but you still were pissed at him,you also didn't bother looking at your phone knowing there's a shit ton of messages. You shuffled alittle in the bed to get comfy,resting your eyes once more,as you went back to sleep until like nine or ten in the morning.
Sampo barely slept,if he did it was probably a power nap? He wasn't sure if he slept but around six he finally got up,his body felt heavy,he felt like he was dead,he trudge to his kitchen to get some caffeine in his system along with eating something sugary to help with his energy levels and not want to die. Getting his phone as he ate breakfast, he sent you a good morning text.
He knew his princess wasn't a morning person but he still wanted to send you a text then a voice-mail,saying how much he loved you. He then goes to the bathroom to shower and brush his teeth,drying himself once done and changing into something more comfortable. He didn't wanna go out today but he didn't want to do anything,so he just kinda did alot of cleaning around the house even if he hated it,he just need to distract himself. He swept and vacuum the floors,did the dishes,mopped the floors,dusts around the house,made the bed,did the laundry along with drying and folding the clothes,he organized his bookshelves or whatever needed to be organized. He eventually ran out of things to clean,dust,or organize and immediately went back to his phone to send few more messages to you,hoping at least one text or that you looked at it at least,but all this poor man got was nothing.
He sighs,setting his phone down.
"Y/N..I missed you so much." He frowns grows.
You woked up a few hours later,sitting up and yawning it the process,rubbing the sleepies out of your eyes as the sun hits your face,feeling the warmth on your skin. You stepped out of bed,fixing your hair into a messy bun and going to the bathroom to do your business then went into the kitchen where your best friend had already had breakfast on the table. The two of you ate together,chatting about random things about that one tv show that was airing or about what your plans were today.
"Hey Y/N,I know you're mad at your partner at what he said,I get it I really do.Well Sampo seems like a nice guy,we all know how he is. He tends to talk before thinking sometimes but I generally think he didn't mean to hurt you,he loves you to much to hurt you. Maybe try to give him another chance,after all we aren't perfect and we all gotta fuck up here and there." Your friend said watching you finish your breakfast. You gived it a thought,letting out a sigh you decided to get up and get your phone,turning it on,immediately got blasted with tons of messages. You waited for like three minutes for them to finally stop,you didn't read them but had an idea of what they were about because you already saw few of the messages that popped up,you would rather call him then go through the messages at this minutes. You dialed his number,putting your to your ear,waiting for him to answer.
"Hello! Baby,I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt or say anything mean to you! I wasn't thinking!" You heard him say,he sounded frantic and worried which was unlike his cool and calm personality.
It almost broke your heart to hear him like this,"My little Blueberry,calm down I'm not going anywhere I promise. Let's meet up at our favorite place."
"Okaay,I'll see you there pumkin pie! Be there soon! I love you." You heard him before he quickly hangs up to meet you there.
You get up,fixing your hair to make it look more presentable and put on new comfy clothes that your friend let you wear. You put your shoes on along with grabbing your keys and the things you need,walking out the door to meet up Sampo.
You guys met outside the ice cream place,the one at the park or near the park,Sampo immediately hugs you tightly.
"I'm sorry,so very sorry." He mutters as his grip doesn't let up.
"Sampo,you're suffocating me!" You squeaked,trying to push him away.
"Please let me make it up to you! I'll buy you a million ice creams! I'll spoil you even more than usual!"
"Sampo." You called out to him.
"I'll steal from people for you!"
"Don't do that."
"Okay.. we'll have date nights everynight!" He smiles,whatever his gal wants she gets,he'd make sure he'll follow your request.
You managed to break free from his grip,grabbing his hand and kissing it,making small circles into his palm,"I appreciate the thought but you don't gotta do all of that... I may forgive you to easily and way to quick,it could be the dumbest mistake I can make,but love is all about making mistakes and forgiving right? We are people,we are bound to make mistakes rather its everyday or not we still make them."
The dark blue haired male smiles,bringing you into a kiss,"Let's make all the mistakes then." He kisses you once more as small giggles escape your lips. He deepens the kiss,slipping his tongue into your mouth,exploring every inch of you.
You felt dizzy but in a good way,feeling your knees become jelly, but lucky for you,you had an amazing, strong, and handsome boyfriend to hold you. You felt like time had stopped for just a moment until you heard some random person clearing their throats.
Sampo breaks the kiss with a grin while your face was flustered from the kiss and from the embarrassment,you apologized to the citizen,feeling Sampo taking hold of your hand, whispering into ear,"I know of another way I can make it up to you my queen." Hints of lust was in his voice as your face turn darker in front of the citizen,Sampo quickly drags you to his place.
He wasted no time getting you naked,in between your legs kissing and bitting your inner thigh,"Mhh such beautiful thighs you have baby." He squeezes your chubby thighs,admiring them,loving them. You looked away shyly as he complements you,"Ah,Ah,Ah,look at me, baby." He calls you which you immediately obey.
"That's my gal." He smiles.
He gets close to your pussy,you could feel his warm breath,he gives you a kiss down there before licking all over your pussy. Your hands went to his hair,trying to remain eye contact with him as he eats you out.
You felt weak.
Weak to your knees.
He then went back to placing kisses,sloppy ones,messy ones,long and short ones,and my God the tip of his tongue puts pressure on your sensitive clit,you bite your lip as you rolled your eyes slightly.
"Sam..po.." you moan.
You begin moving your hips,grinding yourself on his tongue.
Sampo gets closer if even possible,his strong hands his on both of your thighs,gripping them like he's never gonna feel them again,sucking and biting your clit till it's swollen. He gently kisses it,loving the noises you made for him as he enters his tongue in you one more and fucks you with his tongue,making out with your walls as the best as he could.
Your eyes rolled back again,your wall clenching around his tongue,grinding faster or as fast as you could,"Sampo.. please..please..." you plead to him,feeling tears in your eyes as your fingers grabbed harder onto his hair which he moan from that. You felt his tongue touch a certain part,a sensitive part,"Ah!" You cried,feeling light headed,you would of fallen by now if Sampo wasn't holding you.
You were close,you could feel your climax coming quickly.
Huh?
He took his mouth off of you..
You wanted to cry.
Hearing him undoing his belt,"Baby,let's finish this on the bed,I said I'll make it up to you,plan on doing it in different ways. Going to spoil you tonight. " His eyes gleamed in mischief.
#hello tumblr#no proofreading we die like men#fanfic#sampo x reader#hsr sampo#hsr smut#sampo koski#honkai star rail sampo#sampo smut#ignore grammar or spelling mistakes#ignore any mistakes#hsr#hsr x reader
41 notes
·
View notes
Note
I love that you went from the watchers being this mildly terrifying force that doesn’t realize they’re terrifying (and traumatizing Grian) side eyeing that one 3L comic you made about the watchers making it a “game” for Grian (still very much thinking about the “yaaaaay you won!”) to now Oh My Gosh A Tiny Being Can We Adopt Him pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease
ehehe i was trying to get my footing !!
I think I have a grasp now on how I like writing them now ....
However !! The Watchers still very much traumatize Grian, even though they genuinely do love him, I've said that since the beginning, thats their babeyyyyyyyy Watcher, but still a Watcher nonetheless.
Aethers not exactly excused from this either, she loves him and cares abt him, but shes an angel, she just doesn't understand.
She has an issue with..... Toxic positivity ? Shes not very confrontational and doesn't want to have hard conversations with him, its easier to hide things or just comfort him by rubbing his back or hair when hes upset.
When Grian asks to visit Evo again early on, she already knows all the players have left, but lets him see for himself anyway. Its like when a kid begs to eat something like cocoa powder, not understanding how bitter it is, so you just let them.
So its not a big deal to her, but is to Grian, its the horrifying realization that he is completely alone, all of his friends left, he feels abandoned and betrayed. All good things must come to an end though, she says, nothing lasts forever, except us ! haha !
Not to mention the purposeful sleep deprivation and isolation, the full control over what he eats, where he goes, what he does. Its not very fun being a kid, its hard and no one understands.
Aether didn't originally want to be a parent, nor was she exactly ready for that, so she just did a lot of things that were normal to her, what she went through or what other Watchers had told her.
But ! She does care abt him, enough to bend the rules just a tinyyy bittttt sometimes bc ~technically shes allowed to since he's her kid, yes he can go home if he has a headache or eat fish if he asks for it wym.
Theres also Flora, his aunt, she has no interest in kids and sees Grian just as a Watcher in training, this means she's a lot harder on him, but bc he's her sister's kid she doesn't act on this all the time. She also projects her own issues on him, how can you survive or do anything in life if you're not strong ? Here fight this phantom creature you've literally never seen before. Thats as far as their relationship goes, she teaches him to fight. She pets his head sometimes anyway.
(kind of like how parents will sometimes force their kids to play sports, or take extra classes, or get frustrated with you over math and you cry over disappointing them)
I don't think the Watchers are intentionally evil, but I don't think they're goofy dumb birds with baby fever either, they're complicated !! There something abt how people who love you can hurt you, and religion can try to save you and it'll doom you instead.
(ok they can be a little bit dumb birds sometimes, but they're also righteous angels at the same time)
Its also kinda scary being 25 years old, and then being brought to some place you thought you had equal grounds on, but everyone is taller/stronger and treats you like a child or even a pet, that alone would have some side effects, i imagine.
They're very fun to write abt.
Grian also doesn't often get to see the sun.
#edit: OH I HOPE I DONT SOUND MAD OR ANYTHING !!! I JUST WANTED TO RAMBLE !! <3 /LH#ask#THEY'RE VERY INTERESTING TO ME !!!!! i devote so much time just rotating watchers in my brain#theres also something in there abt being neurodivergent and not fitting into society. you end up traumatized regardless#<- cubito grian is autistic to Me#the watchers have a profound effect on grian's emotional state#the little xelqua stuff is just for me <3 silly side adventure things
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
You Won't Regret Me/ 4
Pairing- Wooyoung x Named Reader
Word count- 5.3k
Includes- Violence, gun violence, death, injuries, love making, multiple orgasms, fluff
Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa
@yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @prayerofthehaim @realisticnotes @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @stephy-nicole13 @mknae-jongho @bykeynote
Masterlists- check out for more fics
📝Masterlists 📝ATEEZ Masterlist 📝Wooyoung Masterlist
Wooyoung POV
"We have to get her back", I tell Hongjoong as soon as we get into the warehouse
"We will. We're coming up with a plan", Seonghwa says
"That's not good enough", I snap
I'm in a full blown panic right now
My heart's racing, and I feel like I'm going to cry any second
"What the fuck Woo? We're trying to figure out how to get her without all of us dying", Seonghwa growls
"We need to get her back now", I repeat, my hands shaking
I need her in my arms right now, I need to feel her, hold her
I need her
Hongjoong studies me for a second then says, "Woo...are you ok? What's wrong? You know she can handle herself"
I shake my head, "Not when there's twenty or thirty of them around her. She...she can't defend herself then...she'll get hurt...she can't...."
I stop, breathing in hard, trying to calm down but nothing is working
"Woo, I understand-", Hongjoong starts
"No you don't!", I explode, the tears finally bursting from my eyes, "I love her. I need her. Nothing can happen to her or I'll....I need her here with me right now"
The guys are staring at me in various stages of shock
I get it
None of them knew about me and her
"I thought you hated her", Yeosang says quietly
I shake my head, wiping my eyes, "I did. But...after one argument we had...we slept together. And we didn't stop. I fell in love and she doesn't know. If anything happens to her before I can tell her I love her...I....I..."
More tears burst from my eyes at the thought of her dying and not knowing I love her, thinking I still hated her...
No, it can't happen
"Nothing will happen", Hongjoong states, putting his hands on my shoulders and looking in my face, "Nothing will happen. We will get her, she will be fine and you can tell her how you feel. Ok?"
I just look at him, completely terrified something will happen to my princess
I've never been afraid before but right now I'm scared shitless
"Ok?", Hongjoong repeats, "I promise, I will get her back to you"
I nod, trusting Hongjoong
He never makes promises he doesn't keep
"Ok", I whisper, wiping my eyes
He nods once then looks at Jongho
"Find out which hideout she's at. We're hitting it as soon as we know"
Jongho nods then disappears
"What are we going to do when he finds her?", Seonghwa asks, "She's going to be heavily guarded"
"We hit another of their hideouts far from where she is. One of the important ones. One where they keep the money or make the drugs. One that they can't lose. Make them think we think she's there. They'll all go to defend that one, still leaving her guarded but less than before. We'll have our subunits hit that hideout while we go and attack the one she's really in. Get her back and get ready for a war if negotiations can't be met", Hongjoong answers
That is a surprisingly good plan
As I look at Hongjoong, it clicks in my head
"You already had this plan"
He looks over at me, his eyebrow raised
"From the beginning, when you knew we were switching her, you had the plan already"
He smirks, "Of course I did. She's my best friend, you don't think I was going to let her stay in their clutches for long, did you?"
I should of known
"It may take a few hours for Jongho to find out which hideout she's being held at but he'll find it. You good to wait that long?"
Not really
I want to go now but I know we can't
We don't know where she is
If I have to wait I will
So I nod
"Good. Get whatever weapons you need. Seonghwa, get all the subunits ready. Yeosang, figure out which hideouts are important to them and have their locations ready. Once we know where she is, we'll be leaving in twenty minutes tops. Be ready"
Ok, this is a good plan
She just has to stay alive until I can get her
And I need to calm down so I can think and be ready
I can't panic or both of us could end up dead
"I will get her back to you Wooyoung", Hongjoong promises
I nod, "Thank you"
He nods and I walk to the weapons cage to refill my gun with bullets
--------------------------------
I'm antsy as I sit in Jongho's car
We're across the street from a mansion in the outskirts of Seoul
They took her here
It took Jongho a good while to find out where she was
This hideout is very securely hidden
Almost no one knew about it
Jongho had to kill for the information
All of us are in three cars, parked in the parking structure across the street from the house, watching it
We're waiting
Four of our subunits are hitting a major drug hideout across the city
Over a hundred guys
We need the Seoul Killers to send all their men to that hideout
That's why we need so many guys going there
Hongjoong just got confirmation that the subunits reached the hideout and they began their assault
"Stay with me", Jongho tells me, "She's in the basement. I'll get you to the basement stairs. She should have three to five guards max. Might be less if they send them to deal with the attack"
I nod, "Ok"
I just want to get in there already and get her out
Ten minutes later a mass exodus of cars pulls out of the from around the house, all heading in one direction
They took the bait
We wait another ten minutes to make sure everything is clear then we get out of the cars
"We do this quick", Hongjoong says, "We go in, distract them while Wooyoung gets her then we're out. Kill anyone in your way"
Everyone nods, then we start heading for the front of the mansion
Hongjoong kicks the door in, his guns out in front of him and we all follow him in
"What the fuck?", someone yells
"Where is she?", Hongjoong bellows
There's five Seoul Killers in what I guess is the living room, their guns out, pointing at us
And our guns are on them
"How...you're hitting the other hideout!", one guy exclaims
"Distraction", Seonghwa sings
"God, you guys are stupid", Yunho jabs
"Give me the girl and no one has to die", Hongjoong snaps
"Afraid we can't do that"
"Then I'm afraid you're going to die", Hongjoong snarls
"Wait, wait-", one of them says, "I don't want to die for that girl"
"Shut up!", another one says, "You do what you're ordered to do"
"I'm not dying for a girl!"
Are they seriously arguing among themselves?
Now?
Movement makes me look at the guy all the way to the left
He has a cell phone in his hand and he's typing
He's trying to warn someone or trying to get the others to come back
Not happening
Raising my gun, I aim at his head and pull the trigger
His head snaps back, the cell phone dropping as he falls back
"What the fuck?", one of the Seoul Killers shrieks
"He was calling for help", I growl, moving my gun to another Seoul member
"Now now, there will be no calling for help", Hongjoong scolds, "Get me the girl and we'll leave"
"Fuck you!", one yells
Hongjoong sighs, then shoots that one in the head
And that starts the gun fight, everyone ducking behind furniture, the Seoul members calling out for help
I hear footsteps on their stairs, signalling more people coming
Four more guys burst into the room, one getting shot right away by Yunho, the others diving behind couches then drawing their guns
I don't have time for this
"Jongho", I growl
He nods, pointing to the door in the hallway to our right, telling Mingi, "Cover us. We're going to that door"
Mingi nods, turning his gun on the direction we're going to go
"Go", Jongho says, pushing me in the direction of the door
I bend as I run, hoping I don't get hit
A bullet soars past me, burying in the wall, the sound loud in my ear
I glance at who shot at me just in time to see Mingi shoot them in the chest five times
Jongho and I get to the door and he shoots the keypad by the door, then pulls the door open
"Go get her now and hurry up
I nod, jetting through the door to the top of the stairs
I cautiously walk down them, not knowing what I'm going to be walking into
I don't know the layout of the house and it's a disadvantage
I get to the bottom of the stairs, into a living room area
There are two halls, leading into two different directions
How big is this fucking house?
Choosing the right hall, I walk down it slowly, no one else in sight
It's unnerving me
There's a turn coming up and I lean against the wall, peering over the wall
There's a room at the end of the hall, two guys in front of a closed door
And I know she's in there
I just have to go and hope I can shoot them first
Taking a breath, I move into the hall, training my gun on the guy on the left, shooting him in the chest four time
"Fuck", the other guys yells as the one I shot falls to the floor, his gun out and on me
I swing my gun to him and shoot him before he can shoot me
I hit his thigh and he goes down, yelling in pain
I quickly walk to him, stepping on his hand holding his gun to keep it on the floor
Then I shoot him in the head and he stops moving
I shoot the other one in the head too just to be sure
Grabbing the doorknob, I throw the door open, hurrying in, finding her immediately, in a chair, a Seoul member next to her
I choke back a cry seeing the blood running from a badly split lip, her eye swelling and a bruise on her cheek
They hurt her
They hurt my princess
Unbelievable rage fills me
"If you move I'll kill her", he snarls, pointing the gun at her head
Fuck him
My hand moves quickly on it's own, aiming the gun at his head and pulling the trigger before he can do anything
The bullet embeds in his forehead and he falls back hitting the floor
I quickly move to him and shoot him in the head three more times to make sure he's dead
Then I turn to her
"Princess", I sob, dropping my gun as I get to her
Her hands are tied so hard behind her with rope that her wrists have cuts and rope burn on them
I pull out my switchblade and cut the ropes immediately, then move in front of her, cutting the ones tying her legs to the chair
"Jo", I cry, immediately pulling her into my arms, so fucking relieved she's here, she's safe, she's with me, "Princess"
"Woo", she sobs, her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly, "You came"
"Of course I came baby", I cry, tears of relief running down my face, "I wasn't going to leave you here. I'll always find you, I'll always come for you. Always"
She pulls back from me a little, her hands cupping my face, "I love you Wooyoung"
Her words hit me hard making me so fucking happy
"I...I didn't get to tell you before", she cries, "I..I was scared they were going to kill me and you would never know how much I love you"
I lean my forehead against hers, holding her tightly, "I love you Joanne. So much princess. I was terrified I'd never get to tell you either but I love you more than anything in this world"
"I love you Woo"
I pull her to me in a searing kiss, feeling her love as I pour mine into the kiss
I have her, she's here, she's alive
"We have to go", I tell her when we pull away
She nods as I help her stand up
I take another gun from my pocket and hand it to her
Bending down, I pick up my gun, then taking her hand, we make our way for the door
I peer into the hallway and it's clear
"C'mon baby"
I lead her to the turn in the hallway, check to make sure it's clear then we go down that hallway quickly
I hope the guys are alright
We run into the large basement living room when she shrieks
"Woo, watch out!"
I look up in time to see a Seoul member halfway down the stairs, his gun on her
I immediately shove her aside as I hear the gun go off, pain screaming in my body as the bullet grazes by my upper arm
"Baby!", she yells, horror in her voice
I grab my arm, blood cascading between my fingers as I look for her
She's on the floor glaring at the guy who shot me
She stands up so freaking fast, raises her gun and embeds three bullets in his forehead
Blood is gushing down my arm, pain radiating along it but I push it away
We need to get the fuck out of here
"Princess", I call, holding my unfortunately bloody hand out for her
She takes it without hesitation and we start running towards the stairs
"Stay behind me", she says as we get to the top of the stairs
"Princess-"
"Please Woo. You're hurt. I got it ok?"
I nod, trusting her one hundred percent
"Ok baby"
She opens the door, her gun in front of her as she checks the area
We inch out, heading towards the living room
She looks over the wall, her body relaxing as she pulls me with her
I gape at the guys just sitting on the couches, lounging like they're getting ready to watch a movie
"About time", San snorts
"What the fuck?", I ask
"They're all dead. We swept the house, killed everyone. Then we just waited for you", Yeosang explains
They just waited
They didn't think to help us?
"You all didn't think to come look for us?", she yells in disbelief
"Why? We knew Woo was getting you", Jongho shrugs
"He was shot!", she shouts
"What? Where?", San exclaims, getting up, peering at my arm, "Oh fuck, you got grazed good"
"Fuck you!", I snap, "If you all weren't sitting here then the guy who shot me wouldn't have gotten past you!"
"Wait that wasn't from one of the guards downstairs?"
"No! It was a guy who was on the stairs, coming down!", she snarls
"Oh shit. Guess we missed one", Yeosang says
Yeah I fucking guess so
"Unfuckingbelievable", she yells
She tugs my hand, leading me toward the door
"Where are you going?"
"We're leaving! He's bleeding. He needs stitches. And did you forget we're in an enemy hideout?"
"Oh yeah shit", Mingi says, standing
"Where's Hongjoong and Seonghwa?", she snarls
"Outside. Watching for other Seoul members"
She growls, pulling me out of the house
"Hey Jo-", Hongjoong starts
"Your members are idiots", she snaps
"We're sorry!", San whines as they follow us out
"Are you bleeding?", Seonghwa asks me
"Yeah. I was shot"
"What?", Hongjoong yells
"Hurts?", Seonghwa questions
"Like a motherfucker", I answer, the pain just radiating up and down my arm
"Can we just fucking go?", she demands
"Yeah, let's go", Hongjoong says, "Meet back at my house"
As we walk to the cars, she says to Hongjoong, "Joongie drop me and Woo off at my house"
"You're sure?", he asks
She looks at me and I nod
"Yeah Joong. We're both tired and hurt. We're not up for a meeting right now"
"You gonna take care of his arm?", Hongjoong asks
"Yeah. I got stuff at home to fix it"
Luckily I was grazed and just need stitches which she can do
And honestly I just want to be with her
I don't want to be at any meeting right now, waiting to see what the Seoul Killers are going to do
If they retaliate or declare war or whatever
"Alright", Hongjoong agrees, "I'll drop you off and I'll let you guys know what we decide to do tomorrow"
"Great", she says as her and I get into the backseat, Seonghwa and Hongjoong getting in the front
She pulls me to her, letting me lay on her while she holds me, her fingers running in my hair
Hongjoong starts the car and drives
--------------------------------
She injects the needle into my skin around the graze, pressing the plunger just a little
Then she injects some more into another spot, then another, all around the wound, numbing the area
"Give it a few minutes for it to work", she says, capping the needle and putting it down
I nod, watching her get all the medical supplies she needs to fix my arm
I was surprised she has numbing agents in her house
I was fully prepared to deal with the pain on my own
Apparently Hongjoong gets her all her medical supplies and she keeps some at her apartment while he keeps the rest at his house
As soon as we got to her apartment, she ushered me into the bathroom, actually cut the shirt off my body, then had me sit on the edge of the tub
She has a bathtub tray that she laid all the supplies on
"Ready?", she asks, sitting next to me
I nod, "Yeah"
I raise my eyebrow as she puts gloves on
"You seriously wearing those after you had my blood all over your hands"
She scowls, "Duh Wooyoung. It's to protect from bacteria from getting into your wound while I'm stitching it. It's bad enough you have a wound, you don't want an infection too"
"Yeah definitely not"
"Then shut it"
"Ok baby", I say, smiling at her
She tries to hide the smile on her face but ends up giving me a small one
Turning the water on in the tub, she takes the shower head and runs it over my arm
"Hurts?"
I shake my head, "No"
"Anesthetic is working", she says
I watch her later the wound with antibacterial soap, scrubbing it then rinsing
Blood flows into the tub, swirling down the drain
She takes the needle and whatever she's using to sew and threads it through the needle
"Here we go", she says
With one hand she pushes my skin together and with the other she slides the needle in
I watch it go though one side of my skin and poke out through the other, blood beading up and running down my arm
It's surreal to see that, knowing my skin the needle is going through but I don't feel any pain
She pulls the needle through, then continues to sew my skin closed
She knots the thread, then cuts it
Turning the water back on, she washes my wound again with antibacterial soap, then pats it dry with paper towels
Opening a tube she puts an ointment all over the wound, then a bandage on it
Finally she takes gauze and wraps it around my arm to keep the bandage in place
"Done Woo", she says softly, "I'll keep checking and changing the bandage for you. It'll probably start hurting after the anesthetic wears off"
I nod, "Thank you princess"
"Of course baby"
Now it's my turn to take care of her
Taking some paper towels, I wet them then tilt her head back
"Woo-"
"Let me princess", I say softly
She nods and I gently press the wet paper towel to her split lip, then her chin, wiping the blood away
She winces in pain, my heart constricting in sadness, "I'm sorry princess"
She shakes her head, "It's fine Woo"
"No it's not baby", I whisper, tears filling my eyes, "I shouldn't have let you go. I should have done something to keep you from being switched. Everything inside me screamed not to let you go but I stayed quiet. I ignored what I was feeling because I was scared about what my feelings meant"
That's why I couldn't figure out why I didn't want her to go, why I was confused on why I cared
It's why I let her go
Because I was scared that my feelings were deeper than just sex
And it wasn't until I saw the car drive away with her in it that I realized I loved her
If I just forced myself to think or to realize how I felt, I could have kept her from going
"Woo, you couldn't have stopped me. It wasn't your choice baby. It was mine", she says gently, "I wasn't going to let that little girl get hurt"
"We could of figured something out. We could of went after her the way we went after you. We could of done something to keep you from getting hurt"
She cups my face, wiping the tears from my eyes, "I'm ok baby. Just a little banged up. And you came for me"
"I'll always come for you Jo", I promise, "No matter where you are, I'll always find you"
"I'll always find you too baby", she whispers
I pull her closer, holding her tightly, my face against the top of her head, the smell of her hair invading all my senses
I'm so fucking relieved she's safe and with me
"We should take a shower", she says, "Clean all the blood and everything"
"Yeah princess", I agree, kissing the top of her head
"We have to wrap your arm though", she says thoughtfully, then gets up, "I'll be right back"
While she's gone, I clean up, throwing all used medical supplies away
Going to the shower, I turn it on, letting the water get warm
She comes back, holding up a roll of cling wrap
"Really?", I laugh
"Yes really! It'll keep the bandage from getting wet", she huffs
"Ok princess. You're the nurse", I agree, smiling and kissing her forehead
"Hold out your arm", she says, smiling softly
I do, letting her wrap the cling wrap around my arm, tucking the end so it doesn't fall off
"There. Should be good"
I nod, "Ok baby"
We both undress and step into her shower
The hot water feels good after such a stressful day
I pull her into my arms, holding her tightly, her arms wrapping around me
My body finally relaxes against hers, so utterly glad she's here with me
I didn't have a chance to soak it all in yet
I went from finding her, to getting shot, then to her fixing my wound
This is the first moment of peace we've had
And I just want to bask in it for as long as I can
--------------------------------
I pick her up and carry her from her bathroom to her bedroom
We separated only long enough for us to shower, clean off blood and wash our hair
Aside from that she hasn't left my arms and I want it exactly that way
Laying her in the bed, she pulls me on top of her, her lips against mine
I kiss her back being mindful of her split lip, my tongue against hers, deepening the kiss, falling into her completely
I don't want to think, I just want to be with her, feel her, love her
Her legs wrap around my waist, pressing her body against mine as much as she can, her skin feeling so soft
My cock is at her entrance and I push inside her, swallowing her moans
As I slide inside her tight pussy inch by inch, she pushes her hips down, wiggling on my cock, her pussy stretching around me wonderfully
"Woo", she whimpers between kisses, her fingers gripping my back, keeping me against her
Her pussy pulls me inside her, latching on around my dick when I bottom out, pulsing softly around me
"So good princess", I murmur
She nods, her hips moving up against mine, keeping me buried inside her, "So good baby. I love you"
"I love you", I answer, then kiss her again
I move slowly, pulling out, loving the clenching she's doing around my dick
When just my head is inside her, I push back in, groaning at how her tight wet cunt opens just enough for my cock to slide back in
I make sure my head goes right into her spot, her body shaking against mine
"More Woo", she moans between kisses, her tongue right against mine after speaking
I wrap one arm around her back, holding her firmly against me, my other hand gripping her thigh hard
I'm in so much pleasure, I can't do anything but feel her
Her pussy gets wetter and wetter with each stroke to her spot, her body arching in pleasure and letting me slide in deeper
Breaking the kiss, her head pushes back into the pillow while I press kisses to her pretty neck
"Wooyoung", she moans, shivers running up my spine from hearing her call my name
Her hips start moving, meeting my thrusts, making everything feel so much better
We move together, slower but so much deeper, both of us grinding against each once when I'm all back inside her, my
She clenches my cock harder with each movie, moaning loudly, her hands moving along my back
"Wooyoung", she moans, coming at the next thrust, her body shaking under me
"Yes baby girl", I groan, pleasure rushing through every vein in my body from her orgasm
I keep moving, fucking her through it, pushing through her unbelievably tight throbbing pussy
When she finishes, I move us so we're facing each other
Moving her leg over my waist, I slide back into her welcoming pussy
Wrapping one arm around her, I tangle my fingers in her hair, my other holding her thigh against me
Her arm moves around my neck, her fingers in the back of my hair, her forehead against mine, her lips almost touching mine, her hips moving, grinding on me
"You feel so good", she murmurs, her pussy spasming so pleasurably around me, "So hard baby"
"Always for you princess", I whimper, "Always this hard because of you"
"Please baby, need more of you", she pleads
"Anything for you princess", I tell her
She kisses me as I move my hand to her behind, holding on as I resume thrusting in and out of her tight pussy
She moans in my mouth, her fingers twisting in my hair, the sound of her pussy squelching around my cock so fucking erotic
Her cunt takes every stroke, swallowing my cock perfectly, throbbing perfectly, the pleasure incredible
My head rubs against her spot with each plunge, her body shivering in my arms, her kiss becoming more and more desperate
I fall completely into her, everything in the world falling away until it's just her
Just her lips against mine, just her tongue against mine, just her body, her soft skin against mine, just her fingers in my hair
We're just one together instead of two separate people and I'm so happy I can feel that way with her
The next stroke has her pussy clamping down on my cock as she orgasms, whimpering my name between kisses
Overwhelming ecstasy crashes into me as I let go, pumping cum into her milking pussy
"Jo", I murmur, holding her tightly, kissing her wildly, letting the pleasure run through me
We ride it out together, our bodies relaxing into each other more and more as the pleasure leaves us
"I love you", she says softly, her gorgeous eyes looking into mine
I smile softly, utterly happy, "I love you"
She gives me her stunning smile, taking my breath away
"Kiss me Woo", she asks, "Kiss me and don't stop"
I nod, my lips against hers immediately, the kiss so sweet and loving
Holding her against me, our bodies tangle together, holding on tightly
And I kiss her without any plans to stop
🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊
One month later
J POV
"Jo, bring the bag", Hongjoong says, his eyes glued to the buyer
Another day, another deal
But this time the gangs all over Seoul knew about us wiping out two gangs who crossed us
Seoul Killers are no more
They declared war and lost
Safe to say all these last month's deals have been very non eventful
I let go of Wooyoung's hand, walking beside Hongjoong and putting the bag on the table
I feel Wooyoung behind me and I have to try hard not to smile
"Show them", Hongjoong says
I unzip the bag, turn it to the buyer and show him the cocaine
Hongjoong nods, Wooyoung's hand immediately in mine and pulling me back to our place in the circle around Hongjoong
Wooyoung's arm moves around my waist protectively
He's been in protective boyfriend mode for the entire month
Always next to me, his hand or arm having to touch me somewhere
Spending all day and night with me
Constantly checking our surroundings to make sure it's safe
I'm loving every second of it
Wooyoung is actually the best boyfriend I ever had
Yeah he's a teasing little shit but he's also so loving and romantic
The romance surprised me but it was a pleasant surprise
He is actually everything that I didn't know I wanted and needed in a boyfriend
His playfulness, his clinginess, his teasing, his sweetness, his protectiveness, his romance, his love is all part of him and I love him with everything in me
The guys have made fun of him for being whipped but he just shrugs and actually doesn't care
He throws back, "At least I have someone to be whipped for"
Which shuts them up
The deal finishes pretty quickly, the buyer practically running to leave
Wooyoung turns me to him, holding me close as the guys talk about what we should do next
It's still early to go to the club or everyone can decide to go home
I tune them out and give all my attention to my baby, which he loves
"Wanna go home and cuddle?", he asks, leaning his forehead against mine
I giggle, moving my arms around his neck, "Just cuddle?"
"Mmmm you can make me beg and cry again", he says softly so no one can hear
"Hmmm like that do you?", I smirk
I know he does
Another surprising thing is that he likes being dominated and teased
He hid that all the months we slept together until we actually became a couple
Then he told me how much he loved the time I edged him, making him cry and beg
Makes him hard like nothing I've ever felt
And it makes me feel happy that he feels so safe and trusts me to be that way
"Yeah princess", he murmurs, "Like it a lot"
"Then I think we can do that baby", I agree, kissing his lips softly
"Yay", he murmurs, kissing me back
"Can you two stop that for a fucking second?", San whines
Wooyoung sighs but breaks the kiss, rolling his eyes
His hand moves to mine, holding it as he says, "We're out"
"What? Where are you going?", Yeosang demands
"Home", he says
"Again? God, ever since you two got together you're both so boring", San complains
I just smirk because it's so not boring being at home with Wooyoung
Wooyoung just shrugs
"Just let them go", Hongjoong says, "If they want to spend time together, let them. At least they're not fighting anymore"
"Yeah but it just changed to them being mushy and kissing each other all the time", Yeosang says
"Still better than fighting", Mingi counters
"Anyway", Wooyoung says loudly, "We're going. If you need us, call. Otherwise leave us alone until tomorrow"
"Whatever", San grumbles
"Bye", Wooyoung says
"Bye", I wave as Wooyoung turns us, his arm moving around my waist as he starts walking to his car
I lean my head against him as we walk, feeling him kiss the top of my head
We get in the car, he starts it, asking, "Ready?"
I nod, smirking, "Ready to cry and beg?"
He laughs, "Definitely princess"
Putting the car in drive, he takes my hand and heads for home
#jung wooyoung fanfic#ateez wooyoung fanfic#wooyoung fanfic#jung wooyoung smut#ateez wooyoung smut#wooyoung smut#ateez fanfic#ateez smut
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
CHAPTER 11
status: ongoing
pairing: joel miller x f!reader
summary: your life is full of 'must'. You live with your overprotective mother who controls every aspect of your life. You have a dream, to write romance novels, but love - real love - you haven't found yet. Your mother has even decided what you must do in your free time: play music. One day, however, when you go to your music teacher's house, you will have an unexpected encounter and from that day on things change…
Masterlist
rating: 18+ explicit (minors, DNI)
Before to start... Thank you for your support, for your likes and reblog, thank you, thank you, thank you ❤️If you enjoyed this, please consider reblogging and leaving comments 🫶 if you don't like it don't be rude and keep going. 😉 Please remember English is not my first language, so please be merciful! 🙏
Thanks @vase-of-lilies for the banner and thanks @saradika-graphics for the divider.
Taglist: @harriedandharassed
The next day you wake up against the door of your room, you don't know what time it is or what day it is, you don't have your cell phone, you feel dazed, your eyes are swollen which you open with difficulty, you only see that it is daytime because the sunlight illuminates your room, you barely get up and go to the window.
People walk quietly down the street, there are small groups of kids walking here and there, a couple of couples holding hands, a father and daughter walking hand in hand. You rest your hands on the window feeling miserable and burdened, you place your forehead against the window and close your eyes, you think of Joel, who knows if he called, if he wrote to you!
You hope your mother didn't read or see his calls!
Luckily you have the block on your phone.
“You don't want to fly away? Then fly away,” you think back to Joel's words.
You open your eyes again, walk to the door, and make to open it, but it's still closed.
“Mom? Mom open it.”
You hear her footsteps, and this time after a few seconds the door opens, your mother is wearing a red coat, her hair is combed back, she is lightly made up, and she is still peering at you coldly.
She doesn't speak; she waits for you to do so.
“I don't deserve this,” you tell her, wanting to use a firm tone of voice, but your tone of voice is shaky.
“I don't know what to do with you anymore.” she says in a defeated tone of voice “I thought making you attend my prayer group, making you take music lessons would make you better than your father, and instead…” she leaves the sentence hanging.
When she wants to hurt you, she compares you to your father.
You don't know exactly what he did, but it is certainly something very serious. Or so you have always guessed from her words and the tone she uses when she mentions about him.
“Excuse me if I'm not the daughter you wish,” you tell her.
Usually when she compare you to the other parent, you always told her what can I do to change your mind, she told you that you should study and try harder, be more obedient, and after a few weeks, serenity returned between the two of you because you got back in line, in her lines. Today, you don't want to say that statement anymore. It is not fair that everything you want is constantly repressed and belittled. It is not fair that she prevents you from seeing someone. You cannot allow that.
Your mother sighs, then shakes her head.
“So who was the man Mrs. Bixby saw?” she asks again.
You don't want to get Joel in trouble, you can't.
“His name is Jack.” you answer her “I met him when I was waiting for you at the end of my music class, I had finished a few minutes earlier and went into a bar to have a glass of water.” you tell her.
“We're getting somewhere.” she says hearing you confess “How long have you been seeing him? Have you seen him again? What does he do?” she begins with her many questions.
“Since a couple of months, Jack studies psychology. We've always seen each other in public places like the library, restaurant, diner, never here or at his home. Nothing has ever happened, if that's what you care to know,” you say finding a firmer tone of voice.
If she knew what you do with Joel.
“I'd like to meet him,” she says.
“Mom it's a little early, we don't know each other yet to have him come here to the house,” you try to dissuade her.
“I insist!”
You lower your head, you don't have a choice. By now you have to do this or your mother would start again and forbid you any kind of outing.
“All right,” you reply not at all enthusiastically.
Instead, she seems to visibly calm down, “Fine,” she says.
“Where are you going?” you ask her.
“I go to church.” she replies and then she turns her back on you, “Ah, your damn cell phone has been ringing nonstop!” she exclaims.
You leave and make to go to the kitchen to get it back, but your mother once again stops you with her words “I saw there are messages from your friends and at least two from Joel Miller. None from Jack. It's kind of strange that he's not looking for you, isn't it?” she says making you freeze.
“We had a fight two nights ago,” you reply, shrugging your shoulders.
“Well, I'm going then.”
You nod, when you hear the door close you resume breathing normally and run to unlock your cell phone. You call Joel immediately.
“Baby, finally!” he exclaims in an alarmed tone “I was scared for you. You okay?” he asks you.
“Joel, when are you coming?” you ask him not answering his question using an alarmed tone.
“I'm home. D' ya wanna me to pick you up?” he asks you in the same tone.
“No. Um, listen,” you check the door, “my mother suspects something. I can't make you come down here to me anymore, I'll come to you. I'll wait for her to go to the hospital tonight and then I'll sneak out. Okay?”
The door opens and you immediately close the phone pretending you are going to get some cookies for breakfast. Your mother is back, she forgot something she tells you and then goes out again. You breathe a huge sigh of relief, then go back to look at your phone and text Joel “Sorry I ended the call, I couldn't talk. I wish I didn't have to force you to go through this… “
Joel calls you back, you answer.
“You're going to tell me everythin' tonight. 7 o'clock 's okay for you?” he tells you.
If you could, you'd run straight to him.
“Yes. See you tonight,” you tell him, “Bye.”
“Miller careful with that or you'll end up without something very dear to you!” exclaims his colleague, the only female presence on the site, the only friend Joel has and who knows all about you and who has eagerly seen your presence in his friend's life.
Her name is Tess, she pats Joel's shoulders to call him to attention, he looks up and she smiles at him.
“Hey.” Joel greets her thoughtfully, the man is splitting bricks, but the cuts are inaccurate.
Tess stays behind him, “What?” asks Joel.
“Those bricks need to be split four inches farther apart, and then the angle is wrong.” Joel snorts, “What's the matter, Miller?”
“Nothin'.” his tone does not convince Tess, who grabs a rickety chair and sits down. She says nothing, just observes Joel continuing that wrong slanted cut.
Joel snorts, actually you are his fixed thought, at first he was attracted to you because of your sweetness and great insecurity towards the world, towards everything that was unknown to you and he couldn't help but think of your eyes and its endless expressions of astonishment, joy, fear, but also desire and love as you you know each other. When you met, he would have thought anything but to think so much about someone after what had happened to his daughter Sarah and then with his partner! Indeed, when his brother Tommy had asked him to tell his pupil that there would be no more meetings, he never thought he would meet a sweet, pure and fragile girl like you, never thought he would find himself captivated by you, never.
“If you want to talk, I'm here,” Tess says again, lighting a cigarette.
Joel gives her a sidelong glance, “There's not much to say.” Joel picks up the hammer breaking another block.
“Is it about her, isn't it?” she asks.
Joel nods pronouncing your name in a whisper with such delicacy and sweetness as if you were the most precious gem in the world to him.
“I would like to be strong for both of us,” Joel says, throwing the hammer just farther, “but the truth is that knowin' her in danger, in this state of duress, hurts me. What I want is to hold her in my arms and tell her that I will always keep her safe with me.”
Joel quickly realizes, however, that this is not possible. You might have been thrilled about it, but while he himself would have been very happy about it, he still has a lot of doubts about how right it is to bond you with someone like him.
“Did you tell her about Jess?” Tess asks him, taking a puff of her cigarette.
“Yes.” Joel replies immediately, moving away from there and toward the scaffold. Tess follows him in a half-step, “I told her in a nutshell that it didn't end in the best way between us.”
“Did you also tell her she's around and from time to time you see her?” she asks him, resting her forearms on the scaffold's balustrade. Joel gives her a long, penetrating look that counts as an answer, which is no.
Joel still cannot talk about her unfiltered because to do so would mean talking about Sarah, and Sarah is a chapter of his life that he does not want to share with anyone. Unless he has to.
“I know you were really bad first about Sarah and then about Jess, but maybe with her you could-”
“Tess, do you mind if we don't talk about those years of my life at all,” the tone of his voice does not allow for different replies.
“All right.” Tess says “I had felt that you cared particularly for her.”
Joel sighs heavily. He is trying to remember why he still addresses the woman. At that moment it escapes him.
“Yes.”
“If it was a sex thing, I wouldn't have told you to talk to her about who-you-know.” she adds “But from what I understand it's more than that.” the man looks at her with an enigmatic gaze and Tess's eyes go wide “You haven't yet-- oh my God, then this is a serious thing!” she exclaims with a half-smile “And who would have expected old Miller to fall in love again!” she exclaims again patting the man's shoulder who rolls his eyes shaking his head.
Joel looks toward the buildings still under construction, he doesn't like to talk about his feelings, he was never good at expressing them if the situation was clear. Let alone today with you who are so much younger than him, you are absolutely inexperienced and naive! Nonetheless, Joel can't do without you or think about you.
Evening comes and Joel is in great apprehension about you: your voice, your tone were strongly cracked, your words had put him in a state of great agitation.
He has tidied up the house at the least, ordered Italian food, and he's waiting for you with great impatience.
When you knock on the door, he immediately runs to open it. Joel does not even have time to greet you, that you pounce on him, encircling his neck with your arms and burying your head in the crook of his neck. Joel wraps both arms around you and holds you tightly to him, closing his eyes.
“Baby.” he whispers in your ear then kissing one forehead “You're safe.” he tells you increasing his grip even more and then sinking a hand into your hair “My poor baby.” he repeats, you can't speak, you feel overwhelmed, you just stay in that position and inhale his strong scent.
You have, the two of you have, chills.
You can't separate yourself from that embrace, you don't know what to say to each other, but maybe that embrace is worth more than many words.
You eat in silence and only afterwards, when you are on the couch, you lying with your head on his thighs and him gently stroking your hair, you tell him what happened with your mother, you tell him that you are afraid to be there, that you would like to get out of there, to run away. You've always felt this state of oppression, but never as tightly as the night before.
“Please go away. You can come to me,” he tells you.
You look at him with a surprised look, you had thought about your friends, but certainly not him.
“Joel, I…”
“Think about it, but I don't want to know you're in danger. If something happened to you--” you raise your head and stand beside him "I could never forgive myself."
“Sssh,” you say as you sit on his lap, resting a finger on his lips, “I'm here now.”
He gently kisses your fingertip making your skin crawl, you smile at him and then pounce on his lips.
Spending the night in his bed gave you back an ounce of courage that your mother had previously deprived you of, breathing in his strong scent relaxes you, being hugged by him all night long makes you feel good and peaceful all of a sudden. In the morning you wake up like this still hugging each other: you have your back to him, he still holds you tightly to him, you open your eyes, your eyes still pinch a little from the loud crying of the night before, but you feel better already. You feel him moving just behind you, mumbling some unintelligible words, and you find yourself smiling and turning slowly toward him with your face and then your torso. You watch, thanks to the first light of dawn filtering through his bedroom window, his face still stretched out, his lips parted, his beard growing.
You find him wonderful.
You don't want to disturb him, but you can't help the urge to caress him. You gently stroke with your fingertip the contour of his face, his angular nose, the barely noticeable wrinkle between his eyebrows, his forehead, his beard, then his lips.
Joel begins to wake up, smiling and muttering “Gmrning.” you find yourself smiling back before returning his greeting only to find your eyes in each other's. Those sweet chocolate eyes settle on you, he smiles at you and then holds you tightly to him again, you find yourself smiling at each other and exchanging sweet kisses, gently caressing each other.
“I would stay like this all day,” you confess to him, afraid to put your foot out the door of his house because you know that once you are out everything will go back to the way it was before and you will go back to being the one forced to act a certain way, to be a certain way. You don't want to, you don't want to. But you have to.
“I'm here for you. If that's what you wish…” he smiles at you, caressing your face this time with a finger "you will be granted." he says placing a finger on your lips, you gently press your lips against his fingertip without looking away from his eyes. You love to see how the expression in his eyes changes when you do something especially good for him, how his eyes seem to get bigger and darker. Which happens even now.
“Joel…” you say without finish your sentence.
He whispers your name, he pronounce it with desire.
You bridge that very short distance that separates you at once, your lips rest against each other, they open in unison, and your tongues dance at first softly then almost wildly, it is a kiss that takes your breath away.
You wish he would touch you, you wish he would do more-- but you feel it, Joel is like he is always holding back with you. Maybe it's you who has to help him.
You take his hand and bring it to your breast, you know you will drive him crazy. Indeed, his breathing becomes shorter and you find yourself smiling into the kiss. Glad to have provoked a reaction in him.
“Little girl…” he says to your lips, his tone of voice should be a sort of a warning or do you imagine that's what he means using that tone, but you deliberately ignore his tone and instead you look him in the eyes for a long time before saying, “Will you teach me to make you feel as good as you did with me?”
His eyes become if possible even darker, “No.” he answers you dryly “Not yet. You're not ready.” he adds, swallowing.
“You're afraid.” you say moving away from him, he turns supine “You're afraid to cross the line with me, aren't you?” you insist, he looks at you “Well, we've already crossed it. I touch myself because of you, if I have to say it!” you add feeling the heat on your cheeks "You make me feel so good, why can't I do it with you too?" he doesn't answer you, he looks at the ceiling.
You also turn in a supine position, you look away. You don't say anything, you don't know what to say. If he doesn't want to, you cannot make him.
“You don't trust me.” you say after what to you seems like hours of silence, you turn completely away “All right.” you add feeling a knot in your throat, you first feel him move to the other side of the bed then you feel a hand caressing your side and finally you feel a strand of hair move and a kiss behind your ear. You shiver, wanting to hold the point, but you already know you won't last much longer, not with him kissing that sensitive portion of your skin and then moving down to kiss along your neck.
More shivers run down your spine as his unshaven beard brushes against your neck, you turn toward him finding yourself lost in a kiss again. He almost pulls you toward him, you groan from surprise and also from the arousal that is spreading inside you and spreads even more as he towers over you completely. He breaks the kiss and you find your eyes meeting. His hot breath breaks against you and you find yourself closing your eyes.
Like other times, anything could happen out there, but if you are with him you really don't care.
He places a kiss on the tip of your nose and you smile. You smile again.
“D' you wanna try somethin' new?” he asks.
You open your eyes nodding.
He sits in the middle of the bed, you also make to sit, but he shakes his head saying, “Stay down and lemme do it. Honey, if you feel uncomfortable, if you have any pain, stop me right now, okay?”
“What is this about?” you ask him leaning on your forearms.
He looks at you, “I want to touch that your tight little hole with my fingers.”
You flush more at his dirty tone of voice than at what he said, “Haven't you already done that?” you ask him uncertainly.
“Not exactly.” you look at him questioningly “I've only touched a small part of you, I'd like to go deeper.” you swallow “If you don't wanna to-”
“No, no!” you quickly interrupt him “All right. What should I do?” you ask him.
He leans toward you caging you in his arms, he lays a quick kiss on your lips and then returns to sit in the middle of the bed, “Can I take 'em off?”
You nod as he lays his hands on the elastic of your shorts, looks you once more in the eyes as if seeking your consent once more, consent which comes immediately by just raising your pelvis allowing him to remove your shorts and briefs in one move, remaining completely naked from the waist down.
It's not the first time he touches you, but this time you are completely exposed to his sight and it sends more discharges of arousal all along your body especially noticing his equally lust-filled gaze.
He pounces on your lips almost sucking your lips and tongue together, you groan in surprise at that kiss so different from the others, “You are beautiful.” you tell him through your lips feeling him smile and looking into your eyes.
He grazes your nose with the tip of his nose, “You are perfect, baby.” he comments leaving a trail of moist kisses along the line of your jaw and then down your neck.
You drop your head back, blissfully surrendering to his lips and then to his hands gently resting on your breasts, moaning softly as you close your eyes.
“Are you aroused yet?” he asks you.
You nod, “Yes.”
“Lemme see.” he says and then caresses with his left hand your thigh, then your inner thigh and finally there, your intimacy, you squeeze your eyes shut, he hasn't touched you yet and you already feel those familiar tremors inside you.
“You're already soaked.” he says, you open your eyes and look at him questioningly, “Is that wrong?” you ask him puzzled.
“Absolutely not.” he replies running a finger along your intimacy causing you to hold your breath “It means you're already ready.” he explains repeating the same motion back and forth, you find yourself biting your lower lip and clenching your toes feeling an ever-increasing heat spreading to your lower abdomen.
“R - ready for what?” you ask tremblingly, but curious.
“For me.” he answers you with lust-filled eyes as he continues that precise, slow movement “Relax, don't be afraid.” he tells you noticing your tense expression.
“I am not afraid.” you reply looking into his eyes, and it's true you know that whatever he will do, it won't hurt you. You know that you are safe with him and that you would do anything with him.
“Now I'm going to insert my finger inside your cunt,” you swallow “I'm going to do it very slowly, if you have pain or feel uncomfortable, tell me and I'll stop.” he says scrutinizing your face carefully, his gaze tense, focused, full of desire. You nod barely trembling with desire.
Slowly he slides inside you first just the calloused fingertip as you almost jerk to feel part of his finger inside your taut and tender flesh, you tremble with desire, a boiling desire that reverberates in every cell of your body; he stays like this for a while then slides the phalanx inside you, you drop your head on the pillow feeling you are in a world out of the ordinary, you find yourself spreading your lips wide as if searching for oxygen, moaning softly.
“Jus' a lil more.” he warns you before inserting the phalanx inside you. You clench the blankets in the fist of your hands and moan softly, “You're so excited, my baby.” you feel him kiss you on the lips, but you can't kiss him back, you're seeing stars behind your eyelids, it's indescribable.
Then, he sinks inside you again and you open your eyes suddenly, you look down and seeing his finger fully sinked inside you is an even more arousing sensation, feeling his long, thick finger reach such intimate parts of you makes you wet even more “How's it goin'?” he asks you.
Your vision is almost blurred, you are at a loss for words, you just nod.
He leans over to you and kisses you gently on the lips, slowly lets his finger out inside you and this hollow feeling makes you moan into his mouth, then slowly slips his finger back into you making you moan again. He repeats this movement with a slow rhythm that makes the desire inside you grow faster and faster. You moan surrendering to the pleasure he is giving you with that relentless rhythm of his, lips parted and completely exposed to him. Then, with a confident movement, Joel also touches your throbbing center sending you more discharges of pure lust, you no longer know what to focus on, whether on his finger touching hitherto unexplored areas of you or on the palm of his hand caressing your clit.
Hearing you moan against him makes him instinctively close his eyes and breathe deeply, he feels the contractions of your next climax squeeze his finger and the lust spreads strong inside him, he would have liked to make you cum in his mouth or around his cock, but he still has to restrain himself.
Your climax explodes violently causing you to gasp and clench the blankets even more tightly in your fist. The room suddenly becomes silent.
There is only your shortness of breath.
“How d' ya feel?” he asks after a couple of minutes of silence, giving you a cloud-light kiss on your neck as the waves of climax slowly leave you.
“Fine.” you reply, still nodding with your eyes closed.
He slowly kisses your forehead, then your cheek and finally your lips. You open your eyes and exchange a sweet smile.
“Would you like some breakfast?” you ask him after a while.
“Pancakes?” he offers.
You smile, “That'd be perfect.”
You slip back into your briefs and shorts and go downstairs to make breakfast.
You found out one more thing about him: Joel is a disaster in the kitchen, first he forgot to add milk to the mixture, then he dropped an egg on the floor in short you did nothing but laugh during this rocambolic breakfast preparation.
You manage after almost an hour to sit at his kitchen worktop eating your pancakes, you add some honey, raspberries and blueberries. You eat in silence, only exchanging long glances, then after you bite into the last piece, you tell him, “I've been thinking about the title of my story.”
He nods chewing, “And that is?”
“Bittersweet.” you reply, smiling at him.
You see him swallow, “What's it about?” he asks you.
“It's the story of a young woman and her music teacher, a man who is apparently an asshole, actually very sweet and who will help his student to become more and more confident,” you tell him in outline, turning to face him.
He smiles conspiratorially, “That reminds me of somethin'.”
“Huh, yeah!” you exclaim, returning that look and his smile.
“D' you wanna start writing now?” he asks you.
“Do you mind?” you ask him.
He turns to you, then gently taking your chin between his fingers he says, “If you ask me with these sweet eyes, I can't say no.” you lower your gaze for a moment, “Well, I'll take the opportunity to take a shower and then put up a couple of shelves in the living room. You set up wherever you like, here, in the study above, in the bedroom, wherever you like.”
What did you do to deserve such a man?
“Do you mind if I sit on the couch in the living room?” you ask him, this is his house and it seems more than fair to ask his permission before moving anywhere you want.
He leans toward you giving you a sweet kiss on the lips, “Wherever you want.” you smile, then lays his forehead against yours and takes his leave. He sees you turn on the computer, cross your legs and lay the laptop on your lap. He sees you open the program to write, Joel has never understood much about computers and stuff like that, he has always been an analog guy, always loved manual work.
Joel goes into his bedroom and lies down on the bed, feeling alive. He is feeling good for the first time in a long time, living the little moments of everyday life with you makes him feel good, alive and special. He didn't believe that someone like him after all he has experienced could again hold someone in his arms who makes him feel welcomed, loved, who tries to make him feel good, it is a wonderful feeling.
He breath deeply, the scent of you is still strong in his room.
Joel was about to give in earlier when you had asked him to pleasure him, was about to say okay, but that wouldn't have been right. Joel becomes more and more aware that yours is not just a physical attraction, yes of course there is that too. Yet when you are apart he cannot help but think of your scent, your eyes, your smile, your sweetness, your need to be welcomed, cuddled, loved.
He feels his cock throbbing at the thought of your narrowed eyes and wide-open mouth, as he was pleasuring you with his fingers for the first time, the memory of you so tight and wet causes him another jolt. He undresses completely and goes to the shower, he opens the water jet and finds himself thinking that he would love to have you here with him, he imagines what he would do if you were there together. He'd press you against the shower wall and you'd look at him with those wide eyes of yours in surprise, he'd kiss your neck and you'd close your eyes, he'd press himself against you and kiss every inch of your body, he'd feel you tense up and beg for more.
How he would love to have and give more!
He wraps his taut erection in his fist, the roar of the water covers his moans, his heavy breathing, the image of you clinging to him, your arms encircling his neck, he imagines you giving him pleasure. He grits his teeth to disguise the long moan that comes out of his mouth as streams of his hot seed fall partly into his fist and partly against the shower wall.
“Fuck…” he says, resting his forehead against the shower wall.
He washes himself thoroughly, then gets out of the shower. He dries off, puts on old jeans and a black T-shirt he usually uses to do chores around the house, and comes downstairs. He sees you drinking a glass of water in the kitchen, he reaches you out and he wraps his arms around you, and you smile sweetly at him, “How's the writing of your masterpiece goin'?” he asks.
“Don't tease me now,” you reply to him, setting the glass down in the sink.
“I'm not teasing you.” he says giving you a kiss under your ear “If 's something of yours, it's certainly unique. Beautiful. To me, a masterpiece.” you turn to him finding eyes in each other's eyes, he places a kiss on the tip of your nose, you chuckle "I hope everyone gets it, that you can work up the courage to sign up for some classes and they'll notice you, that they can read you sooner or later." he confides.
“Then I wouldn't be here with you anymore,” you say in a huff that makes the two of you feel sick.
Joel lays his hands on your forearms, he strokes you gently, then slides his hands behind your back, “I don't wanna you to be confined here. In this small town. You deserve places like Seattle, Los Angeles, New York, or even Europe. You deserve the world. I wish you could see all the wonders there are,” he tells you.
“You are all the wonder I want in my life,” you tell him.
“Oh, baby.” he says holding you in his arms and placing kisses on your cheek and forehead “You're so sweet, so…” he dips his nose into your hair and you close your eyes, you don't care what he wanted to add, the important thing is what you told him. At the moment you like to write, but you don't want to get away from him, you couldn't stand a world where he is not there. For you it would be intolerable.
#joel miller#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x reader#joel miller x female reader#joel x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller smut#joel tlou#joel miller hbo#tlou fanfiction#tlou fic#the last of us hbo#joel miller self insert#the last of us#joel fic#the last of us fanfiction#joel the last of us#pedro pascal#pedro pascal as joel miller#smut#joel x f!reader#joel x female reader#joel x you#dom!joel#dom!joel miller#joel miller fic#joel miller angst#bittersweet ff#soft!joel miller
21 notes
·
View notes
Note
Gotta apologize again for practically swimming in your DMs lately, but I remembered why people like 'Toph x Aang', and often cited Toph's honesty and lack of glorification to Aang as a reason why she would've been a better romantic interest for Aang than Katara. And I don't disagree with that, Toph is much more likely to put her foot down to let Aang know when he's wrong, which should urge him more to grow. But despite Toph theoretically being a better love interest for Aang, I have a question:
Would Aang be a good love interest for Toph?
Because since you, @longing-for-rain , and other Zutara supporters described Aang's immaturity very well, I have to wonder if Toph would be happy with Aang, knowing how hurtful he can get (Desert, Ember Island, did Aang even apologize for those instances?). What do you think? Do you think Aang has the qualities to be a good love interest for Toph? Could I ask this question for Ty Lee too? Because I see lots of people believing that Ty Lee would've been a good choice for Aang, but would Aang have been a good choice for Ty Lee? You know what, let's just get every popular alternative candidate out of the way, since people ship Aang with Toph, Ty Lee, Zuko, Sokka, and even Azula and Mai. Run the gauntlet (if you want to). Would Aang make a good love interest for literally ANY of the main characters?
Unpopular opinion, but as Aang is written in the show... he's not a good candidate for anyone.
Wait wait wait...
Hear me out before everyone gets up in arms...
This is where we have to acknowledge that Aang is a fictional character and not a real person (we are not going to count LA Aang because technically that would make him an actual person because he is portrayed by an actual teenage boy) therefore everything is written to be as it is. However, because fiction is subjective, we can debate whether or not to treat Aang like an actual person.
So with that in mind, let's begin this deconstruction of Aang's character and how he is not a good fit for any sort of romance as he is written in the show.
Aang's Selfishness
This right here is glossed over many, many times in the show. What I mean by selfishness is the fact that he is unable to look beyond his nose when it comes to other characters and their feelings. In real life, this is a very twelve year old thing to do, but unlike real life there is no one there to call him out on it. Just the writers, and they don't even do that. That coupled with the fact that he is written to be a child, it really doesn't make sense to me. That and he is the McGuffin and 'The One' of the entire show.
Bryke sets it up to be a good show by giving us the premise right from the start, but as the seasons move on, I don't really see any development from Aang. Only the characters around him.
That being said, because you don't get that development, any relationship going forward is going to feel shallow, like most of the relationships (except sukka) feel. Zuko and Katara progress in their relationship well because there was growth from both of them.
When it comes to Aang, he is more concerned with his views than taking a moment to think about everyone else's. Of course, I applaud those who actively seek peace in their lives and with dangerous situations, but Aang is incredibly naive. He doesn't get any better, even when Zuko calls him out on it. We see Aang struggle with the solution, but then Deus Ex Lionturtle shows up and doesn't really encourage that growth.
Because you don't get that growth and him moving past how HE feels, that is where a relationship is going to fall apart. It's not toxic, but if he doesn't change then it can become that way. Again, Aang is not a narcissist. He is just selfish and naive. These are two big things that cost him.
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Madi Caught Slipping: aka "How Jeremiah falls for every character in the book"
Scroll to find your favorite characters. Some are kinda crack ships. Have fun.
The girls:
Tara: This one's easy. They caught each other's eyes through MC and Xavier. He's at Xavier's place, they met in a common area. Jeremiah is trying to be a good wingman but he knows better than to use old tactics of flirting with MC on purpose to make Xavier act out in jealousy, he can do that when the trio is alone. That day he directed his attention to Tara, some small talk and flirting, maybe slung an arm around her shoulder to drag her to get a bucket of ice or anything for the other two to be alone. But she's adorable and he thinks, what the heck, a date won't hurt. She's pretty, and again, it's a good excuse for causing more circumstances to fall into place. The last thing he expects is to fall in love but it doesn't take much. She's earnest, tightness, selfless, and sweet. And look, who else is he going to gossip about Xavier and MC with? Good luck, Jer. Crystals in his pockets. He doesn't believe in any of her witchy stuff but doesn't mind it if it helps her feel like she's connecting to him or keeping him safe somehow. His religion he feels doesn't really affect it, he's only semi religious anyway. Cute planned dates. Flowers on her desk. Starts carrying some things of her recommendations in the shop. It's an easy, refreshing, comforting, and syrupy sweet relationship. Like two kids giggling in a pillow fort.
Jenna: This one's not easy. But, she's Xavier's "Captain" which, ok, Xavier is Jeremiah's "Captain" so there's the good soldier dynamic. There's a chance -depending on how Infold wants to play it- that Jenna and Jeremiah have a already met. It may be through Backtracker work, anti-Onychinus logistics, Jeremiah's research, something. If they have, it's an easier door. Either way, all they do is talk logistics and mission stuff to begin with. Then it's random small talk. Jenna is fun, and always thinking of others. There's a sense of "we're in this together" that bridges a gap. Maybe he senses that she's overworked. Maybe he hears from Xavier that they lost a hunter on their team. He sends her flowers. Then just keeps sending her flowers so she always has something to brighten her day, because he feels some compassion for the stress she's under, and secretly he's grateful that someone else is looking over Xavier. It's a slow burn. It's dependable, and sweet, and then it's a strong. They're a candle that keep others going, just trying to make it another day, but they keep that candle burning together.
MC: See Budding Romance. Anyways. This one really only works if like, MC has eyes interacts with him a lot more than Xavier. Because Jeremiah is always realistically going to be putting Xavier's needs first? And he really has shipped those two for centuries. He's probably absolutely had it up to here with them (imagine I am gesturing to something really tall for the metaphor.) But it also only works if he realizes he's loved her, because he has to get past a sense of 'She's Xavier's but I want her too.' It also only works if Xavier's holding back a bit, like he senses there may already be something going on between them? If he's confusing MC and she gets comfortable with Jer enough, then maybe, maybe. OR, she is just a version of MC who just doesn't have interest in pursuing Xavier at all, similarly to the MC's that end up with literally any other love interest, this MC would just... be particularly inclined towards Jeremiah to begin with, regardless of meeting Xavier first. Which, Jer would still have to get past whatever he's going to deal with, but once they're together, God. The manic things I've thought.
The way he's loved her for centuries, even if platonically before, to stay at her side in unwavering devotion for centuries, to abandon everything he knows on a chance of saving her, being her second-in-command, probably being the one to hold her tears when she could've easily felt very alone. He knows MC inside and out, TOO. And I think it would be very easy for him to want to slip back into a sense of companionship and want to by her side in any capacity of her life. Jer needs to feel attentive and needed, and I think it would be easy to want to stay by "his commanders" and "his Queens" side purely out of loyalty, and maybe... there's a sense of: It's always been me, I don't want it to be anyone else.
Yvonne: This one's funny. It definitely has to be a coincidental meeting. Jer's not going to any hospitals anytime soon. They have to meet outside work before, either on accident or she's a patron of his store, something like that. But the energy, please. She's beautiful, snarky. He can get behind that. She's also probably overworked. It's easy for him to be a sounding board, listen to all the gossip, or the frustration of incompetent patients. It's easy for him to be a comfort, patients get under your skin sometimes no matter how high the walls. Losing patients is never easy but god if Jeremiah hasn't been used to losing people all the time. It's easy for him to go along with antics. Prank bouquets to unwitting hospital members. And maybe if he's comfortable, he's appreciating that he actually knows a nurse. He teaches her how to care for Philosian differences in physiology, because there's probably things that are different and things he's had to DIY. Oh she'd absolutely shred him an earful if she finds out he's doing something stupid post-Wanderer hunting excursions. He absolutely makes her vision of beautiful custom scrubs come true.
Talia: Lord, Jeremiah as her nth husband? Sure. She's definitely ordering a lot of flowers to pester at Rafayel. Or she's getting flowers for her nth wedding. Maybe Wedding Planner style, it doesn't work out, but hey that florist is kinda--. And honestly, Jer probably picks up on some things. She's not from around here, neither is he. There's a certain vernacular Lemurians use, and there's a vernacular Philosians use. Maybe it's easier to tell earlier on. Kinda like Hispanics and Filipinos can immediately just pick each other out of a crowd. (Source: Is Hispanic). So there may be some companionship in, hey we're not here by choice, something drastic happened. And she's,,, way older century-wise probably, but he's not actually young, and they both have the bodies of a twenty-something. It's fine. They probably can find things to relate to. Old stories, old myths, old movies, old music. It's nostalgic and sweet. Maybe she likes the fact that he's not going to die, unlike her previous human boyfriends.
---------------
the boys:
Xavier: I could write a book but. Just the constant companions and devotion. The loyalty. The "I'm with you to the end" and the fact that Jeremiah was someone he immediately told everything about MC. How, despite Xavier's jealousy, he still depending on him to look after MC and still needed him. Honestly, Xavier needs Jeremiah a lot more than I think he lets on. Vice versa. Xavier wasn't there for him when Jer lost the love of his life, and unlike Xavier's who reincarnates, he's never getting her back. It's a very permanent grief that Philosians seldom had to deal with. I'm sure Xavier feels a sense of regret. At the same time, it just makes Jer more fiercely loyal. I said it above, he deeply needs to have a sense of duty. He desperately needs to be needed by Xavier, to be ordered around and feel like he's contributing. He doesn't want to let him down, and he desperately doesn't want him to ever go through what he has. They know mostly everything about each other. They do love each other, already, so much. It doesn't take much. One or both could've already questioned things. Or they're in a universe where MC already chose someone else, so it's a matter of comfort and redemption and trying to let Xavier heal and grow into someone independent of MC. Also. I think about the fact that in CANON Jeremiah specifically made sure that he brought Xavier's favorite flowers with them from Philos and if that's not love I don't know what is. In this essay I will---
Zayne: This one is the most crack to me because again. Jer and medical staff? Probably not going to mix. They must meet at an outside time and place. Jer can't know Zayne's a doctor until later. It definitely has to be a universe where MC is pursuing someone else, but that may not stop Zayne from buying her flowers? Especially if she's not dating other guy yet, and on her birthday, something like that. So they could meet at the flower shop. It's not love at first sight, it can't be. Jer gets him with sweets. He uses one of Bella's old recipes maybe when he's mourning her death's anniversary? Zayne has plenty of loss experience. He's just a customer that day but he takes comfort in letting out the story a little bit. Zayne makes a recommendation. Jer makes him something else to thank him for his patronage. Its just sweet sharing back and forth until they actually decide to go somewhere after work. Not a date. They're too manly for that. Both assume the other is friend zoned. The crowd is banging through the floorboards at these two. Jer baking a lot, Zayne eating and tending to Wanderer wounds. Very slow but, comforting and sweet. Pun intended. Cause that's what it would be. They heal each other in more ways than one.
Rafayel: If I speak- ok. Listen. Talia or fans still is ordering a lot of flowers for Rafayel. Jer gets used to dropping them off. He knows Rafayel is probably hiding something, again, vernacular, however I've seen Rafayel tends to hide his better. But those muscles are way too toned for Rafayel to be some random painter. Pls. I know too many art majors. Jeremiah making Rafayel clothes. Because he's talented (hello Lumiere costume) and can definitely do some cool stuff (fireproof, effect stuff). Also, Jeremiah like,,, is on the dark web scouring for content for stuff to build ship parts and also keep an eye on wayward Backtrackers. There's no way he doesn't know Rafayel's wanted. Maybe he helps take care of it. You know Lemurians and debts. Idk. Just lots of snark. Lots of trying to take care of each other. Cooking together. Maybe even fighting together. Jeremiah being weirdly assertive with Thomas, a la "He said no pickles" style. Again, very easy to slip into a loyal companion mode. Very easy. Plus like. It's a very, very acts of service relationship. They squabble a bit but only cause they care. Also, same dynamic as Talia, they've been around a long time, they'll be around a long time from now. There's comfort in that.
Caleb: If Maverick himself is alive somehow, it either comes through mutual connection like MC wanting to introduce her "brother" or Caleb maybe stalking out people in "his sister's" life. So honestly he may have met him at a party. Its a work party. Everyone gets a plus one. MC brings Caleb, Xavier brings Jer. I have a hc Jer is a hopeless drunk, but nothing happens at this party cause earth beverages from what we've seen with Xavier don't honestly have much effect. Unless... Caleb himself gets.. yeah. Maybe he retaliates that MC is showing Xavier a lot of attention when he's s'posed to be the date. Fine. Two can play at this game. He goes after Jer. Sloppy kiss. Jer would be... admittedly weirded out, and probably more concerned about the guy. Next day some kind of humiliated apology at the flower shop spurred on by MC. But Jer's soft, and sweet, and kinda teasing. Oh no god help Caleb. They might bicker a lot, but they both care about MC and later on each other deeply. They might just start hanging out for the sake of it. But they both have soldier's hearts, and are protective people. They become protective of each other. Jer starts watching the sky scanners, keeping up to date on any relevant threats. Secret information passed along through a channel Jer engineers. Caleb frantically watching his watch that's connected to Jer's when he assumes Jer goes wanderer hunting. Fishing trips, cooking. Arcades. Nostalgic movies. Somehow they have synergy. Somehow.
Nero: Jer's an alien so that's cool. Honestly, I wonder if they already know each other. Not in person? But online? If Jeremiah's ever submitted anything for private analysis and Nero's the wanderer expert. He might've been connected just through accessing Xavier's portal to the deepspace organization. They start meeting in person to trade stuff. It's very secretive. Nero catches him out and about. Doesn't recognize him, couldn't possibly begin to, but he knows that voice anywhere. And oh no Jer's beautiful. He starts doing his own investigation. Shows up at the flower shop once he's sure, and slides him something only they would know. Jer's incredibly impressed. Wants to hang out more. They talk nerdy, and honestly it's probably worse the more Nero knows. Like, you mean there's alternate timelines and dimensions? You mean you can pull a sword out of your arm, too? You mean this metal is from another planet? You mean there's even more wanderers? You fell through a black hole?? Just on and on. Jer doesn't mind the obsession, it's nice to be open and talk about home. It starts as just kinda friendly besties but they grow to actually care about each other. Maybe they worry about each other somehow. They definitely try to outdo who does more for who. It's very relaxed, and not constrained. They don't have to be together all the time, it's comfortable.
Thomas: Again, something to do with deliveries to Rafayel. He starts being around. Maybe Thomas contacts him to do an event and Jer is just? Helpful? A nice guy? Hey Thomas looks like he needs a drink, that's all. Or maybe Thomas forgot something, requires Jer to back and like. They just?? Talk? For a long time. That kind of comfort bond builds first. Jer is easy to talk to. Jer's also like, nice and insistent enough if he finds out Thomas is an artist like, insists he wants something from Thomas specifically and wants to trade for some kind of arrangement. Well how about a drink? It's just relaxed and comfortable. This is a relationship Jer might withhold some of the aliens from outer space stuff a little longer, just until he's more sure of things and outcomes. But it's easy, and he likes hearing the stories. Thomas tries to paint what he thinks Philos looks like based on his descriptions. Jer cries. Jer cultivates a specific type of rose after Thomas. It's very luxurious type of relationship. Doesn't have to be money consuming but. Museums. Botanical gardens. Whiskey nights. Private lounges. Jeremiah makes him a custom suit. Just a lot of gift giving back and forth.
Greyson: Like Zayne, there has to be some circumstance outside of work. But Madi you wrote that for Yvonne too. AND I'M SAYING IT HAS TO. But if it doesn't for some reason, let's say Jer overdoes it, gets kinda beat up, some citizen finds him and he gets dragged to a hospital. You know how Philosian heart beats are slower? God, imagine? Oh they think he's on his way out. Rushed to the ER. Jer just like, coming to cause maybe the sedatives don't work the same, grabbing Greyson by the wrist like, begging, desperate, Don't hurt me. And oh no. Deepest shade of blue eyes on pools of hazel that are desperate. He might break. He doesn't want to become a science experiment. Ok that's dramatic. YEAH. Like does he break out of the hospital? Does Greyson flip out and have A Moment™️ with the other surgeons in the room? This is literally what Jer's been dreading for 200 years he's shaking he's terrified inside but he's also a soldier. He bites down that fear and idk maybe gets out of there. He thinks he's safe. Freaking runs into Greyson at a cafe or something super what-are-the-chances. And before Jer can run Greyson grabs him like, hol' on a second. ANYWAY. I'm just saying. It has to be dramatic or super mundane, for it to work. But if it does work out (somehow) then its. Cowboy and Alien. Jer is very doting, he can get to Greyson's cheesiness level. Who can outfluster who? who will survive? Dad jokes. Tormenting friends. Prank wars. Teaching Greyson to bake. He thinks he'll teach Jer how to ride a horse, surprise he was a Knight and already rides bareback. It's a fun dynamic.
#orz#love and deepspace#love and deepspace jeremiah#lnds jeremiah#love and deepspace rafayel#lnds rafayel#love and deepspace zayne#lnds zayne#love and deepspace xavier#lnds xavier#love and deepspace mc#lnds mc#love and deepspace tara#lnds tara#love and deepspace jenna#lnds jenna#love and deepspace nero#lnds nero#love and deepspace caleb#lnds caleb#love and deepspace talia#lnds talia#love and deepspace yvonne#lnds yvonne#madi plays lnds#love and deepspace greyson#lnds greyson#love and deepspace thomas#lnds thomas
28 notes
·
View notes
Note
i could ask you to elaborate on why purple boy is slowly turning into a lion monster. and you can answer that. but what i really wanna know is what killed him the first time.
:3c oh i am so glad you asked this question
short answer: his mother. or at least, the creature that used to be her.
long answer: WELL. (cw under the cut for non-graphic descriptions of body horror, discussions of ableism and terminal illness, and also just. straight up. i'm telling you how eden died. not going into graphic gorey detail but yeah </3)
so, eden's mom died when he was 12. famously, that's an event that really helped shape his life, second only to abdiel leaving six years earlier. however..... it's important to know that those two things are related.
y'see. eden doesn't know this. but hannah had been sick for a long time, and part of why abdiel left was to go find a cure for her. that's not what she wanted him to do, of course. hannah wanted him to stay with her so they could enjoy the time she had left. but he was determined to cure her and that he'd have to leave her in order to do so. so. welp. her wishes in this situation would have to wait.
another important part of this puzzle is that abdiel is a necromancer by trade. he knows other schools of magic as well, sure, but necromancy has always been his focus. and he specifically is a major proponent of the idea of using necromancy for healing, rather than simply resurrection. that's what much of his life's work was focused on.
so, abdiel sought to find a way to use necromancy to help cure his sick wife, and he failed, and she died. and eden, who was left feeling worthless and alone after his father abandoned him (and after basically all the adults in his life failed him, one way or another ), decided that part of his revenge would be destroying that work and making it his own.
eden would become the only dr. linnaeus remembered by history, by doing what abdiel had failed to do. by not only reviving hannah, but curing her illness entirely, and then using that to cure anyone else suffering like her who wants to be saved.
of course, by the time eden knew any necromancy magic himself, hannah was long dead. and... from a purely practical perspective, eden was nowhere near skilled enough as a spellcaster to be able to use any traditional necromancy to revive her. so eden decided, instead, to try something new.
he was going to revive his mother through transmutation magic, through the alchemy and artificer infusions he was already learning and showed a great affinity for.
i'll skip ahead in this explanation, but basically eden's idea was to create a new body for his mother's soul to inhabit. he wouldn't be reviving her in her original body, no, he'd be reviving her in one free of the pain and illness she'd suffered from for much of her life.
(before i continue, i'll just go ahead and establish this now: no, eden did not consider whether or not hannah would want to be resurrected. by this point, his tunnel vision on beating abdiel, one way or another, was beginning to consume him. ethical concerns didn't matter so much at that point.)
skipping ahead again. when eden finally succeeded at the ritual he'd created, it... backfired, putting it nicely. the creature he created wasn't hannah, not really--it had her face and it spoke in her voice, but it wasn't her. it was a mass of limbs and teeth, with too many eyes and an enraged howl that shook eden to his core.
he tried to reason with it at first, to get it to recognize him and calm down as it thrashed around his lab. and it lashed out at him, slashing him across the face and throwing him to the floor. and for a moment eden just... lied there, shaking and staring at the monster he'd created. it hurt. that thing wasn't his mother, but it was her face and her voice screaming at him, cursing him for creating it.
and then he was just... angry. how fucking dare this thing attack him? how dare it be such a failure? how dare it ruin everything he was working for? how dare it act like this was his fault?
before he really knew what he was doing, he grabbed a hammer from his artificer tools and lunged at the creature, intending to put it out of its misery so he could try again. clearly, he needed to refine the ritual, but he was on the right track. he just-
(eden managed to kill his creation, but it fought back and mortally wounded him in the process. he shoved its body into the open fire at the heart of his lab, where he'd brew potions and boil water when he needed it. and by that point, he was too exhausted to keep going and try to find help. so he just... lied there, and bled out slowly.)
(as a not-so-fun aside to this. when eden's body was found a few days later, there was an investigation launched by the university. a recent graduate dying brutally in his university-funded lab? yeah that raised some eyebrows. ultimately, though, said investigation determined that eden had killed himself, as by then the creature's remains were burned until they were unrecognizable. everyone assumed it was just some... *thing* he'd been studying.)
(very few people were surprised by that news.)
#talk to the bunnykitty#jaye!!!#eden linnaeus#ask to tag#content warnings on post#cutting myself off there before i start rambling about how his death affected the people in his life#especially kader. ohhh kader sweetheart i'm so sorry#his life fell apart in the wake of eden's death. because he blamed himself#absolutely devastated. unable to stop wondering what he could've done to stop this from happening#anyway haha yeah so this is why eden is afraid of fire and hates the smell of cooking meat. very bad associations.#also i love eden dearly. it's fucked up and shitty of him that he did not consider his mother's feelings in any of this#i'm not denying that#after his resurrection he's eventually going to take the step back from that situation to recognize this
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
ngl its wild seeing people say toshiro's reaction to chimera falin was because she was not longer "palatable" to him like yeah i would be freaking the fuck out if my former party members' attempt to save someone important to us turned her into a murderous chimera on a rampage who just killed all of our party members in front of us and only barely had any traces of herself left in her. i WOULD want to, y'know, let her rest instead of attempting to defy death by further mangling her beyond comprehension because these people have shown they have no idea what they're doing and have apparently caused a fate worse than death for her. it's pretty much just the flip side of the coin and "letting falin go" is, in fact, a lesson the crew has to learn by the end
i don't think faligon is falin's "true nature", i think it's an extreme end consequence of her issues: one where she has little free will, is on complete autopilot, and is controlled by another person.
#dungeon meshi#toshiro nakamoto#shuro#like come on... it's a perfectly reasonable thing to think but no one actually takes the events seriously#he literally says later he just doesn't want her to kill anymore people#and he doesn't want to hurt her to begin with#literally what reason has laios' crew given to trust them with what he thinks they've done#i'm sorry his mindset is ''willing to let her go for the greater good'' and not ''everyone else can go to hell for all i care''...#he sees her with het feathers and fangs at the end and even acknowledges the dragon part of her!#and he still thinks she's so wonderful!
190 notes
·
View notes
Text
tender as a bruise, sharper than a razor
wrap her tentacles around me like she'll never let me go
klaus' backstory arc just ended heho and it was revealed he used to be the lover of the goddess of storms and pirates... she had basically kidnapped him and imprisoned him into murder and piracy for 20 years and needless to say it greatly damaged him on every level <3 its okay he's been able to be normal for once since the start of the campaign thanks to the party aka his new found family
get urself a surrogate middle-aged father who can speedrun a forbidden romance in one minute and then immediately go to confront the darkest version/a corrupted version of himself, as well as his toxic lover as she tortures him -w-)b
details and just the lines hehe
#clerichs.png#my artwork#original character#original art#original illustration#digital art#digital painting#digital illustration#dnd character#oc#oc illustration#im so unnormal about him.#he got hurt soo badly in isolation... thats where all the scars in his ref came from </3#this portrait is of the one scar his goddess did not give him.... </3#tfw ur jealous sea goddess lover pits you against other pirates and sea monsters to fight for ur life and test ur devotion#and she promised to love you wholly only for u to realize she doesn't understand or know what love is#and only wanted it bc everyone else who had love seemed so happy and she wanted that too#so after she destroyed everything you loved (literally your entire world) she merely treats u as a possession for 20 years#and you don't know how to ask for love because you don't know how to love either so you resent her and everything and everyone#leading rage to build up within you and you willfully slaughtering so many things because you cant handle your emotions and pain#and after deflating and sinking into apathy a rogue priest manages to break ur exterior and touch you deeply enough to let you love again#and because of him you're able to begin breaking free of everything and you lose everything again but this time#this time you wake up in a crate of fish to outstretched hands and people who love you as family even after learning who you are/were#filling you with strength and willpower even as your goddess lover comes back swearing she loved you and loves you still#and she tortures you and threatens to take everything away again if you don't come back to her but because of your love for everyone#and their love for you youre able to hold fast long enough for them to break you out#his goddess made a copy of him by warping the body and soul of a naive young man in an attempt to replace him and fill the hole in her hear#he had to literally kill the darkest version of himself that hurt everyone and he laid him to rest... catharsis if ive ever seen it#as i said. im so normal about him <3 the guy i project onto the most ever#klaus lierstark
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
I love how during the Oldest Game, Dream starts out very aggresively, landing the first strike on Lucifer, but as he grows more desperate his transformations become less and less violent. Lucifer keeps attacking and destroying, and instead of fighting her on the same ground he finds ways not to counter her destruction, but to encompass it. Embrace it. Become bigger than it.
#the sandman#dream of the endless#it just seemed really deliberate to me#She destroys the bird so he gives her a world. She destroys the world so he gives her a universe.#He doesn't hurt her back but it's not out of mercy#That's just his nature#He doesn't try to make her weaker he just makes himself stronger#He fights back with love and warmth and life and not because he doesn't want to hurt her but because when lucifer begins to#overwhelm him and he becomes desperate his instincts take over and the first things that come to his mind are these#fundementaly loving and nurturing concepts#I love him so much
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
on the topic of kai and morgan did u guys know they're insane 🤯🤯
#olly.txt#oc tag#they have tried to kill each other multiple times#both before and after getting together#oh yeah also thinking of giving morgan a bitter ex arc. except that they're both so fucked up it's not even weird or anything#also also fun fact did u guys know kai dies at least three times throughout the story?#even funner fact is that morgan witnessed two of those and directly caused them#not on purpose ofc but. you know he blames himself for it#fun fact number three is that when kai leaves morgan doesn't even hate him for leaving#she hates him for showing her true happiness because she didn't have it before him#it's like. it was bad but morgan knew how to live with that. but when kai came along he showed her how good it could be#and it hurt so bad because she knew what she was missing. if that makes sense?#oh yeah pair that with the fact he has a very bad complex concerning positive emotions and feels like anything good is temporary and is a#dream about to be taken away you've got essentially his worst nightmare#this is to say i'm insane about them. in case it wasn't obvious#if u have any questions PLEASE inquire i will love you forever#anyway. do u want to see cass and ed? iblings??#(they're from the same story and are antagonistic characters. in the beginning at least tee hee)
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
realized ricky is not only canonically polyam, but rep for polyam survivors who are abused for being poly, and i am having a lot of feelings about that which i plan to write up a post about but also wow in hindsight it put some shit from an abusive ex-friend into perspective.
#whosebaby talks#SDMItag#abuse cw#polyphobia cw#there is just. still a lot that i am unpacking about how deeply abusive her muses were in ~healthy relationships~ with mine#which was really fucked up to put me through by itself but was also *deeply* telling about our friendship in general#a major aspect being how she constantly went back and forth between being very clear that she was repulsed and disgusted by my queerness#and pretending she never said that; while playing olympic-level gymnastics for any possible bullshit alternate explanation she could find#and i'm just like. in hindsight it has become deeply cathartic to write/engage with stories where the polyphobic abuser#is openly and intentionally and maliciously abusive; and framed as such#after the relentless gaslighting and queerphobia of ~healthy OTP relationship~ where a poly muse i had put a lot of myself into#brought up the subject of whether his partner would be alright with him pursuing a relationship over feelings he was Just Starting to Have#and wanted to get ahead of things and ask the moment it became relevant; specifically because he knew the partner had jealousy issues#and the poly person Absolutely Fucking Daring to Have Even the Beginnings of a Crush at All Without His Permission#sent the partner into a massive wailing nauseous spiraling self-harming world-ending inconsolable breakdown#and going practically catatonic with jealousy and ~pain and betrayal~#and the ~healthy resolution~ was the poly muse apologizing profusely for it; comforting him; and promising it would never ever happen again#'he has BPD and jealousy issues and it hurts him sooooo so bad 🥺' i hope otto cheats on him with ten people and then dumps his ass#BPD doesn't make you abusive or polyphobic even if you're mono#and it's so fucking gross that her non-BPD-having ass used pwBPD as an excuse for passionately hating poly people#but yeah there was just. so so much more horrible shit along those lines just In General with those characters alone#and it was constantly dressed up in a veneer of ~healthy relationships uwu~ and in hindsight that's another reason#i have such an extremely strong reaction to 'no see this dynamic is good and home-grown organic wholesome and healthy uwu'#'[most abusive/bigoted/etc shit you have ever seen in your life]'#and why it is honestly such a fucking relief to be able to engage with a dynamic where the abuse is mask-off and openly Intended to Harm#just call me a slur and get it over with etc#anyway it's just. a Lot.#that person was a fucking nightmare and writing with them was a fucking nightmare#last i heard they were part of that fandom's resident anti crowd and mocking/harassing disabled people for dietary limitations lol#and i'm glad they're out of my life and that apparently i've got enough distance from them to be comfortable processing it through fiction
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
thlaugraphics
free graphic resources made with love since 2017
matter-admit-even
Untitled
spawn-universe
Spawn Universe
mrs-veilmont
dai
weirdbutchharold
weirdbutchharold