#and how i justify why no one really knows her when she reveals herself

[ipsen]

cochlea, after 11th ward battle

tatara: humans are so stupid aren’t they eto

eto, half-human:

eto: hey weird question (but since you’re sooooo much smarter than any human) how many people did we get killed for this?

tatara: ... two hundred

eto: two hundred...?

tatara, grumbling: two hundred too many...

eto: that’s what i thought

#tg #tokyo ghoul #tatara #eto yoshimura #they're just so goofy together in hindsight #arima and tatara have effectively wrested complete control of HER organization and now she's just going to be petty about it #at least that's how i see it #and how i justify why no one really knows her when she reveals herself #compared to how she was idolized when she was 14 #it's similar to roma and the clowns except she isn't very happy to relinquish control #but what else is she gonna do right? #turned this into a tg meta

[matan4il]

911 ep 701 first watch reactions

(I don't think I have the energy to write proper Buddie meta, so here's me randomly squealing instead...)

LMAO In case you were wondering whether s7 of 911 will be subtle about their gratitude/debt to ABC for saving the show, the answer is a resounding no.

Also, I have lost a lot of respect for Frank as a shrink, but gained a lot of love for him as a sass king. "Did she win!?" The murderous look Athena gave him was priceless. I love her, too. She doesn't even need words to rule.

Man, nooooo. Don't give me a mutual "I love you" between Bobby and Athena like that.

"Go ahead and cut the green wire." Everyone and their sister: "Green? You said Red."

9-1-1 is the superior comedy they slipped into our drink, while we were here for our weekly action, suspense, drama and familial love.

Buck broke off with Natalia, and the show really did it like that. XD Every single person who rolled their eyes at this pairing during s6, we were all justified, but wow. The show really is the only forum to respect the pair even less than fandom does. And of course we find out about it in the middle of a scene built around Eddie being half naked, Buck watching him, with the camera specifically turning so we can discover Buck was initially covered by Eddie's body, and the angle change reveals him, when the whole thing wraps up with Eddie welcoming Buck back to the land of the living... Yeah, wonder what made Buck feel alive again. Don't know. 'Tis a mystery. We were given zero clues...

"I want the honeymoon life." *cries* Chimney is just such a good, good man. And okay, expecting your whole life to be a honeymoon's a bit unrealistic, but Madney are living together and they have a child. They know this. Chim knows this, but he still wants to go for it. Aim for the moon, you'll at least land among the stars, right?

Bobby baffled by Athena's reaction to Norman and Lola is hilarious.

I like how Chim has a great idea, but it's still obvious that it's gonna go wrong, because he can't help going overboard with it...

OMG, that scene with Eddie recounting to Buck what Christopher's date was like... If I were to write my Buddie meta, I would serve a three course meal just from that. I mean, the fact that watching Chris hanging out with a girl he likes, makes Eddie compare it to "hanging out with his guy friends" (when there's no lack of interest in this girl... in fact, it turns out that if anything, Christopher's problem is the opposite of a lack of interest) is so telling. There's a reason why that's where Eddie's mind went.

But then also... Eddie's trust in Buck got to me, the way he went to his best friend (not his own gf) for help with Chris. But that was still played with half a smile. But then Buck sort of disses himself jokingly, and Eddie won't have it. "You didn't end up like you." He sees how Buck worked on being a better person, even when Eddie wasn't there for the worst of it, and he appreciates it, and won't let Buck forget it. Meeeep. I love them.

Oh Chim. I was giving you so much credit, and then you went and bought that outdoors jacuzzi. lol Still love him. That's what Maddie's reminding herself of right now, too. ;p

Poor Hen, she was great in this ep, but none of it was really about her, she was comic relief, both with Chim and with the red wire. Then again, she was amazing in this, like she always is with everything.

Eddie and Buck were both so good with Chris this ep, MY HEART. Buck with getting him to talk about what's really bothering him, and Eddie with realizing exactly what his son needs, and how to give it to him. They completed each other. Neither one would be helping Chris without the other one. Tell me again how they're not soulmates?

In conclusion, I love Bobby saying, "Let's go prove one of us wrong," when they're both right. Something WAS going on with Norman and Lola, AND Athena was using them to avoid him.

Argh. That scene of the ship and its passengers being hijacked was rough to watch. </3 I'll still be here to watch the conclusion of this. That's the power of 9-1-1 for you.

It def felt like a great kick to the new season. We had lots of comedy and fun, some great tension, some emotional moments (especially with Christopher), but all in all, it's still clear that the whole thing's a build up to next week. Are you excited?

#9-1-1 #911 spoilers #911 #911 abc #911abc #911 on abc #911onabc #evan buckley #eddie diaz #madney #bathena #buddie #911 meta #christopher diaz #chimney han #maddie buckley #bobby nash #athena grant #hen wilson #911reactions

[trans-queen-administrator]

During the talk with Phir Sē, it comes up that he has a daughter when he tells Taylor about how keenly aware he is of what he could be sacrificing to kill Behemoth.

And it's very odd to me that she's a hero, when her father is one of the men so monstrous that he's used as evidence for why the PRT should stick around. It's almost like the stereotypical superhero show plot where the plucky protagonist hero learns their dad is Doctor Evilman or whatever, but this is Worm. Later in the conversation Phir Sē reveals that he sacrificed family before in a similar scenario

And I can't help but feel that him sacrificing his wife and sons is connected to his daughter being a hero? Like imagine being her, and seeing your dad refuse to save the rest of your family because of the greater good. He could effortlessly step backwards in time but he stands there while their corpses cool instead. That could definitely crack a rift between them and cause his daughter to join the heroes in a desperate attempt to prove that you can save everyone. Hell, I could even see her dad letting her family die being a trigger event. And she's specifically one of the bright and popular heroes, one of the campy flashy ones like Mouse Protector. How much of that is because she can't bear to let herself be anything less than the ideal of a hero, because she can't stomach the thought of being someone who has to make a sacrifice like her father? Phir Sē says he'll live the rest of his life down in his bunker mourning her if he fails, but I think he's already been doing that. He's been consumed by the guilt of who he left in the past and how that ruined his only tie left, and he wants to do something that justifies his existence. If he kills Behemoth, the world celebrates, people are saved, and maybe his daughter will talk to him again. If not, he keeps living as he always has, alone and crippled by the weight of his actions.

I wonder how he felt, in his last moments. The bomb didn't kill the Endbringer, and Behemoth hunted down his bunker and killed him. He had to have seen that it survived, and while maybe he didn't fail so hard he vaporized the country, he didn't redeem himself, he didn't save anyone. He'll never know that his actions weakened Behemoth enough for Scion to finish the job, from his perspective he lost. I wonder if his daughter survived, and if she knows what he did to tip the scales of the battle. Would she even mourn him, assuming he caused her trigger and she knows he let her family die?

He liked Weaver because she reminded him of himself with her ruthless pragmatism and ability to make the hard choices, while also reminding him of his daughter with her idealistic nature. I think he saw a version of himself in her, one that didn't end up isolated in a bunker with no family left. One that has hope and still kept the humanity he feels he lost. She talks to him about working together with others, communicating, and he doesn't think it's something that's possible, he thinks humanity is a "wretched, petty species" and that infighting and lack of coordination would prevail even against an Endbringer. And I think he's right in thinking Taylor is like a younger version of him, because that's exactly what happens during Gold Morning until she makes them work together. He would feel vindicated, seeing Khepri.

Honestly I really wish he survived, he's such an interesting character and I would love to see more of him beyond a single random Tohu face. Most of this is headcanon but like, I think it fits pretty well, so who knows maybe it's the intended subtext.

#worm #parahumans #Phir Sē #and his unnamed daughter #gosh I just analyzed way too much about a character that doesn't even have dialouge #or a description #or anything beyond a mention #also ty to the person who wanted Phir Sē posts I really enjoyed rereading his chapters and thinking about it #what a good minor character #ramble #also #I will kill those people who make me smile and feel more human than I am. I will grieve their deaths #and then I will take that gamble again #what a great quote

[cherienymphe]

Amnesiac IV (Rafe Cameron x Reader)

WARNINGS: eventual NON-CON, eventual DUB-CON, dub-con kissing, violence, public sex, memory loss, underage drinking, drug use, non canon ages, kook!reader

➥ banner by @maysdigitalarts​​​ | divider by @firefly-graphics​

➥ series masterlist

summary: “There’s something wrong with your love story, baby…”

After a surfing accident leaves you with little to no memory of everything that happened before that day, you start to wonder if the blond in what little memories you do have is the same one who claims to be your boyfriend.

~

Rafe loved kissing you.

You didn’t think it was possible to love anything as much as Rafe loved to kiss you. Once you had crossed that line and loosened the boundary some, he was like a man starved. He liked to kiss you when you first woke up, waving off all concerns of morning breath as his lips chased yours. He made a habit of tasting your lips as soon as you both settled into his truck, like some ritual he had to partake in before he got on the road. Even during the most random of moments like during dinner, he’d lean over while Ward was mid conversation and would quickly touch his lips to yours.

It disgusted Sarah beyond belief.

“It just takes some getting used to,” she had mumbled one day.

You had caught her alone on the back deck, alternating between reading and texting John B. It bothered you that while you two were evidently close before, it didn’t exactly hold up after your accident. You suspected that it had something to do with Rafe, and you weren’t entirely wrong.

“It makes me happy to see that Rafe is treating you well. I mean it,” she’d honestly said. “…but who he is with you isn’t who he is with everyone else.”

She didn’t say it, but you could read between the lines. You picked up on what she was thinking about specifically.

“Like JJ…?”

She sighed, looking away.

“Do you still think Rafe said something or did something to provoke him?”

You still found that so hard to believe. You couldn’t imagine Rafe doing anything like that no matter how hard you tried. Sure, his anger and cruel words that day had shocked you, revealing a side to him that you didn’t know existed, but to be fair, he had been wearing the evidence of an assault at the time. To you, his anger was more than justified.

“It’s clear that Rafe would prefer to keep you in the dark about a lot of things,” she exhaled. “…and honestly? I guess I can’t blame him.”

She looked up at you then.

“There’s just so much shitty stuff that you’ve been given the opportunity to just forget, and I’d probably want to keep things as nice for you as long as I could too. I mean, it’s not like I’m giving you a play by play of everyone’s fuck ups either.”

She shrugged.

“Rafe seems to really like you, and as much as I can’t stand him, I don’t think it’d be fair of me to write a list of every bad thing he’s done when he’s actually doing right by you.”

If you didn’t know any better, she actually looked annoyed with herself as she said this.

“But with that being said, Rafe and JJ have a messy history that goes beyond your accident. Hell, it goes beyond when you and JJ started to become friends. Although that definitely made things worse.”

She mumbled that last part to herself, and with Rafe inside, you took this opportunity to sit down.

You knew what Kelce said about JJ, and while what happened to Rafe pretty much confirmed it for you, you wanted to hear from Sarah too. You wanted to know why you were ever friends with someone who was so obviously bad news. You wanted to know why she and the rest of her friends continued to do the same.

“Kelce said that JJ is…violent, troubled.”

Sarah scoffed at that, slamming her book shut as she shook her head.

“If you’re going to know anything about this island, know that there’s a certain side of the island that thinks they’re so much better than others and is happy to look down on anyone who doesn’t come from where they come from.”

You glanced down, recalling Kelce’s disgusting words about people from The Cut.

“If you asked Topper, he’d tell you that he genuinely thinks people from The Cut were bred to mow lawns,” she continued with a humorless smirk.

You deeply frowned at that, and just like you wondered about the company Sarah kept…you were now starting to wonder the same about Rafe.

“JJ,” she started, sighing. “JJ just didn’t grow up with the same opportunities that they did.”

Your eyes met hers again, and her smile was sad now.

“Yeah, he’s a little troubled, but considering the home he grew up in, the man who raised him, I’d say he turned out better than okay.”

You bit your lip.

“No, he’s not perfect, but neither is Rafe,” she sardonically chuckled. “Yeah, JJ held a gun to Topper’s head once, but I’m positive Rafe didn’t tell you that Topper was trying to drown John B.”

Your eyes widened at that.

“…and I know Rafe didn’t tell you that he jumped Pope in retaliation. He beat him up with a golf club,” she spat.

“Sarah…”

“You don’t remember any of this, and that’s fine, but Rafe and his asshat friends should have the decency to be honest instead of telling you half-truths. They should stop trying to turn you against the people you genuinely cared about and who genuinely care about you…”

You glanced over your shoulder towards the inside of the house where Rafe was.

“…because you never cared about the stupid feud going on between the two sides of the island, and as much as I hate to admit it because I was jealous, there came a point where I wasn’t your best friend anymore.”

You looked at her just as she continued.

“JJ was.”

Your head spun a bit at that, and she looked like she was remembering something that you couldn’t.

“…and if I hated it, then Rafe really hated it.”

“Rafe, please,” you sighed, pulling away from him.

You could feel his worried gaze on you as you stood up, the sound of muffled music reaching your ears.

What you thought was going to be a normal day actually turned into your attendance at another party. Only this time, it was your own. The slight mirth in Rafe’s face as he mentioned a party later on in this very Cameron residence should’ve been your first hint. The way he picked out your dress and spent literal minutes admiring you and praising you in the mirror should’ve been another.

“You had one hell of a near death experience, and you’re here to tell the tale,” he’d told you at the shock on your face as you looked around. “That deserves to be celebrated.”

He had whispered that into your ear before leaning in to press his lips to yours in front of everyone. Ward and Rose were gone for the night, some art convention in Charleston that Rose had been dying to get to. Wheezie was at a sleepover, and you had no doubt that Sarah was with John B. At least, that was what Rafe had told you when you asked.

“You know those two, babe. They can hardly stay away from each other,” he’d said, wrapping his arms around you from behind.

Even though it was days later, your conversation with Sarah was still on your mind, and so you weren’t really in the party mood. You tried to fake it for Rafe’s sake, he’d gone out of his way to do this, after all, but you couldn’t keep up the façade for long. You were alone with your thoughts in Rafe’s room for all of 10 minutes before he found you. He’d looked concerned, but upon confirming that you were indeed fine, he didn’t really waste much time before pressing his lips to yours.

The moment that you realized it was getting hot and heavy, you pulled away, not really up for that either.

“What’s wrong?” he asked you, voice dropping a bit.

You crossed your arms over your chest, holding his gaze.

“Did Topper really try to drown John B?”

Your question was evidently the last thing he expected, and Rafe huffed a sigh, looking away. You swore you heard him curse Sarah’s name.

“So, it’s true…”

Rafe opened and closed his mouth, opting instead to take a deep breath.

“Rafe, I know that there are things I don’t remember and will never understand until I do, if I do, but… If I was as close with Sarah and her friends as I think I was, then I want to explore that.”

His gaze snapped up to hold yours then.

“I want to decide for myself who I hang around, and you and Kelce made it seem like JJ was such a horrible guy, but by your own standards…isn’t Topper?”

You hesitated, swallowing.

“Aren’t you…?” you softly continued.

You watched as Rafe’s gaze darkened, jaw clenching.

“Sarah told me what you did to Pope.”

“She-.”

“Not because she has it out for you or anything, but to show me that it isn’t so black and white.”

You hurried to get near him, taking Rafe’s hands.

“I know that you’re just trying to look out for me, but…I had a whole entire life before my accident, and I want to know everything. I want to know who all of my friends were and all of my hobbies and the places I liked to hang out at.”

Rafe was quiet for a moment before slowly exhaling. You kept your eyes on him as he stood to his full height, face unreadable but eyes narrowed just a tad as he gazed at you.

“JJ punched me while I was trying to get food for my family. That’s the kind of guy you want to get to know…?”

You hesitated, and Rafe’s brows drew together.

“Unless you think I did something to have that coming,” he slowly said, and you furiously shook your head.

“Rafe, no- of course not!”

He lifted one perfect brow, and you could feel yourself deflating.

“I just don’t think it’s that simple. You and Topper have done some things too-.”

“Things you don’t even remember. You don’t even remember the full story or context but just what Sarah told you, but you saw what he did to me. You saw with your own eyes what I am talking about,” he slowly said, gesturing to you.

You didn’t respond, not quite sure how to.

“Do…do you know what it was like to see you in that water?”

His words made your heart drop, and you sharply inhaled. Rafe’s face had hardened now, jaw clenched and blue eyes icy as they gazed at you.

“To pull you out? To push against your chest until I was sure I’d break it because I was so desperate to see you breathing again?”

You blinked, vision blurring a bit as you exhaled.

“Rafe…”

“I almost lost you…for good,” he sneered. “…and now history is repeating itself.”

“No-!”

“It is. It is because…this…thing where Sarah and her friends, where JJ gets in between us is looking pretty familiar.”

You looked down with a frown.

“I promised myself and you that things would be different this time. When I handed you over to the doctors and nurses at the hospital, I made that promise only for this to start happening again,” he spat.

You reached out to him, apologies on your lips when he snatched his hands away. You blinked, a few tears escaping as he stared you down. He slowly held his hands up, chest heaving with deep breaths before brushing past you, telling you that he needed some air.

You knew that it probably wasn’t your first fight with Rafe, but it was the first that you could remember.

Once Rafe had left, you’d just sat in his room and cried. The more you thought on it, the more you could see things from his perspective, and it just made you feel worse. You didn’t even want to imagine what Rafe had gone through in saving you, and the pain and anger in his eyes spoke of a past that was probably much more tumultuous than you thought.

Sarah had said that you and Rafe used to be close, but she’d also said that you and JJ had become closer…and somehow, your supposed dislike of Rafe was thrown into the mix somewhere. Was it possible that Rafe’s version of things was the truth? After all, Sarah had admitted that she never knew why you had suddenly started hating Rafe one day. She couldn’t even tell you while Rafe on the other hand seemed to have an actual answer…and it was JJ.

You didn’t even know what time the party ended, nodding off to the faint sound of music.

When you woke up, it was morning, and you could hear Rafe’s shower running. You didn’t know what time he came back, but his side of the bed was warm, and that told you that he’d slept next to you. You were still wallowing in sorrow when he came out, blinking at the sight of his towel hanging low on his hips. Your heart raced as your eyes traced the droplets that danced down his skin, and when he looked at you, you didn’t have time to pretend like you weren’t admiring him.

“Morning,” he eventually said.

It came off as guarded, and you blamed yourself. Rafe didn’t know where he stood with you, and you didn’t like that.

“I’m sorry,” was your reply.

You pushed yourself to sit up, heaving a sigh.

“I’m really sorry…”

You continued when he didn’t reply, opting instead to lean against his dresser and stare at you.

“When Sarah told me what you and Topper did…it shocked me,” you admitted. “I felt like I was thrown a curveball because suddenly there was this much darker side to you that I didn’t even know existed.”

You watched as he swallowed.

“It made me doubt everything you told me. It made me doubt you.”

Rafe exhaled before moving to sit before you, his fingers brushing yours on the bed.

“Yes, I’ve done some messed up stuff…but…you have to understand that this thing between us and the Pogues? We all have,” he admitted before reaching up with his free hand to brush his thumb over your lip. “Except you.”

He held your gaze, a crooked smile on his pink lips.

“Never you,” Rafe murmured. “…and that’s why its so unfair that you’re the one that got hurt the most when all you’ve ever done was try to get along with everybody. It’s like you paid for my fuck ups.”

You tilted your head to the side, face falling.

“Rafe, don’t…don’t say that,” you whispered.

“It’s true,” he replied, blue eyes focused on his bedding now. “I hurt some people, but I never…”

His gaze slowly lifted to meet yours again, and his voice was steady with conviction.

“I never hurt you.”

You threaded your fingers through his.

“…and now I feel like I have. I feel like the accident was my fault.”

“Rafe-.”

“I should’ve tried harder to keep you away from him, to be less pushy about a lot of things-.”

“Rafe, stop!”

His face was in your hands, now, and you shook your head.

“Stop it, please,” you begged. “That’s too much to internalize, to take on.”

You both were quiet for a while, and you sighed.

“Rafe, I’m going to ask you a question, and I want you to be honest…”

He studied your face.

“…and whatever your answer is, I’ll respect that because I remember the love and trust that I had with you, and it is the only thing that I know for sure. That feeling.”

You brushed your thumbs over his skin.

“I don’t remember my supposed friendship with JJ or guns and murder attempts or even my friendship with Sarah. I don’t even remember hating you, but I do remember loving you,” you told him. “I remember that feeling, and I choose to trust that and you because it’s the only thing that has been certain, so…”

You licked your lips, and Rafe’s gaze followed the movement.

“Do you want me to be friends with JJ again? Do you want me to try and be friends with any of them again?”

Rafe took a long time to answer, and the emotions on his face changed so many times, the conflict within him evident. He eventually took a deep breath before his eyes met yours, holding your gaze with an intensity that made your skin hot.

“No.”

His voice didn’t waver, and he continued to hold your gaze.

“They’re bad for you, they always were, and…I don’t think I should be the bad guy for saying it,” he slowly told you.

His answer didn’t shock you, but your hands fell anyway, and you nodded.

“Okay,” you eventually replied. “Okay. If that’s what you want…”

Rafe’s eyes flitted between yours, searching your gaze for any uncertainty.

“Yeah…?”

You gave a nod, and he released a breath, reaching for you to rest his hand on the back of your neck before pulling you into a kiss.

Rafe always kissed you like his life depended on it. Desperate and hungry and feverish rolled into one. His hair was still damp, a few water droplets hitting your face as he moved his mouth over yours, and you’d almost forgotten that he wasn’t dressed until his chest brushed against you.

His other hand found your waist, fingers digging into the skin through your dress that you still had on from the night before. It was moments like this when you thought about that memory of the two of you on your bed. You’d wonder when this would progress into something more, and then you’d mentally smack yourself because you knew that was entirely dependent upon you.

You didn’t need to be a genius to know that Rafe wanted you.

Badly.

If the way he touched you wasn’t enough of a sign, then the way he looked at you definitely was. He always ran his eyes over you in a way like he was committing you to memory…or recalling one. It made you nervous in a good way, but then those thoughts would lead to insecure ones.

Had you been good in bed? Had Rafe been satisfied with you? It seemed like the obvious answer was ‘yes’. After all, why would he stay? And why would he constantly undress you with his eyes if he hadn’t been? When Rafe’s hand slid to the front of your neck, something deep in your gut flipped…and you didn’t know why.

His fingers brushed over your skin, and they curled around your throat ever so gently, and you jerked. Rafe didn’t seem to notice, and you blinked your eyes open, reaching up to touch his hand. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest for some reason, and you squeezed your eyes shut just as a sharp pain burst through your temple.

Deep in the crevices of your mind, you felt a hand wrapped tightly around your throat, choking you and jerking you. You could see your own hand on the strange wrist, desperate and shaky. You couldn’t breathe and wind whipped against your face and there was a wall at your back.

You ripped yourself away from Rafe, eyes wide now as you stared past him.

You could feel Rafe looking at you strangely, and you couldn’t find the words to reassure him. You couldn’t even find the words to reassure yourself. Was that a memory? It had to be because God knows it certainly felt like one. You slowly reached up to touch your neck, and you heard Rafe call your name.

“Are you okay…?”

You slowly lifted your gaze, eventually nodding.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m…I’m fine. I think…”

That last part sounded more like a question, and Rafe rested his hand on your shoulder.

“Um…I need to shower,” you told him, slowly standing.

You practically stumbled to the bathroom, fearful and confused by the strangest sense of déjà vu you’d gotten just then.

#rafe cameron x kook!reader #rafe cameron x reader #Rafe Cameron #outer banks #obx fic

[aihoshiino]

chapter 141 thoughts!

The usual reminder: because of the content of this arc, I will unavoidably have to discuss CSA and topics related to it in this & future chapter reviews. I do not discuss them in great detail, but if you very understandably just aren't in the headspace for that, no hard feelings - look after yourself and I'll see you next time.

This chapter starts us off on the note of answering something I've been wondering for a while and confirming that Ai did, in fact, know that Hikaru was being abused by Airi. On the one hand, this feels like it should go without saying, since it answers the question of where Aqua would have gotten some of this info, but it feels strange to have this dropped on us in such a matter of fact way.

In general, I continue to be both baffled and impressed by Oshi no Ko's dedication to never showing characters learning or reacting to huge, status-quo altering pieces of information on screen lol. I think this is more a case of the movie's framing than the manga's - hard cutting from the HKAI exchange at the end of last chapter to the Ai & Airi confrontation is very cinematically appropriate - but it does bother me regardless. In isolation, I think it's fine and we get more than enough information about Ai's thoughts and feelings on the situation in the confrontation but it's nevertheless part of a pattern that's been going on for a long while now of important reveals and reactions to really huge pieces of information are happening entirely offscreen and are only told to the viewer in retrospect, or are backfilled into the story once Akasaka wants to make use of it. It's not a world-ending flaw or anything but I'm noticing it more and more and I think it's been harming the series more than it's helping.

That said, I do really like this confrontation Ai has with Airi. It definitely feels more like Ai speaking for Aqua than it does Ai herself speaking - the cold, straightforward way she addresses Airi pretty clearly mirrors the way Aqua spoke to the director on Akane's behalf back in LoveNow. Whether this is a case of Aqua using Ai as a mouthpiece or their similarities as mother and son coming out in a moment like this, I think it's interesting either way. Given what we learned about Ai's own abuse and her own history with narrowly avoided CSA, it makes total sense that upon learning someone she cares about was being similarly exploited by an adult that she would have some very strong feelings about it.

Airi's meltdown in response is also something I have mixed feelings on. As a piece of characterization in isolation, it's fascinating and I think it provides some important insight into how and why Airi was able to rationalize and justify her abuse of Hikaru to herself, even though she clearly knows it was objectively wrong. I honestly can't help but see parallels in the way she centers her own feelings and pain and uses that as justification for her actions with Ayumi, Ai's mother, who had a more subdued but emotionally similar breakdown when talking about her history with her daughter.

Ultimately, I do feel it adds more than it takes away - I would much rather see the story continue to humanize characters who could otherwise have just been left as uncomplicatedly black and white Evil People Doing Bad Things. People very rarely begin acting in cruel, exploitative or antisocial ways out of nowhere and I think the manga's story is better for highlighting that this is the case.

H O W E V E R. . . where my feelings become more negative is the talk that follows, but I have like a million things to say about that so I'll put a pin in it for now to not derail too badly.

Given how Airi responds here, I'm also suddenly very curious as to if this direct confrontation was what put an end to her abuse of Hikaru. It's hard for me to imagine her going back to it after being so directly called out and if that's the case, I can't help but wonder if this was the trigger for the HKAI romance. I already talked last chapter that there's some imagery already implying Hikaru views Ai as his light, which OnK thematically associates with the role of a savior in someone's life. If Ai really did manage to intervene and protect Hikaru from Airi's abuse, then that would have intensified those feelings one hundredfold.

holy shit akane AND miyako are back! wow, isn't it totally crazy that across the arcs where they could have contributed to and potentially resolved the conflicts at play they were just totally absent but now they're just reappearing without comment or reaction to any of that other shit!

As I mentioned before, I have really mixed feelings on this scene with Miyako and the others. In isolation, I do like it and I think it kind of brings into explicit text something that had been just floating around as vibes before, which is how absolutely symbiotic with misogyny and sexual exploitation the entertainment industry is. The way misogyny played into Ai's exploration was always a really fascinating part of her arc to me, but given that Akasaka at least publicly presents as a person without that sort of lived experience, I was curious as to how much was intentional and how much was accidental, just because of how surprising it was to see a man centering this sort of thing so thoroughly in his writing. This scene with Miyako makes it clear that it's something Akasaka absolutely wants to highlight and discuss in Oshi no Ko, to the point of him being willing to call out even likable and sympathetic characters like Taiki for casually taking part in and perpetuating it.

THAT SAID… I really don't like that this scene, accidentally or otherwise, ends up centering and discussing Airi's victimhood over Hikaru's. His story has always been an indictment of the way children, specifically, are at risk in the entertainment industry not just in terms of being exploited as workers, but in the ways that adults in power can and will use their positions of authority to do exactly what Airi has done. That is what needed to be discussed here; the way that Hikaru's abuse is in no way an isolated incident and how people like Airi will continue to get away with hurting children so long as the industry - and society at large - treats children like second-class citizens at best and commodities at worst. I do think this scene is trying to use Airi and Miyako's experiences as a jumping off point to talk about exploitation in general and the way a person's ability to say 'no' can be compromised by outside pressures but it talks so much and so exclusively about the experiences of young girls and adult women specifically that it's hard not to read it as the story placing more value - at least for now - in exploring Airi's perspective over Hikaru's and that just feels kind of grody to me.

The timeline of this chapter is also just… really weird? Given Frill's, uh, appearance at the end of the chapter I have to assume it's taking place right after she films her scene with Aqua last chapter but that makes no sense given where the Ai and Airi confrontation is placed…? My best guess is that the scene we get at the start is some kind of visualization of the script by the characters who are reading it but it's all still very needlessly confusing lol

frill just barging in with her tits out when she knew rbkn were waiting for her was so fucking funny though i gotta admit. weird ass lizard woman.

Her mentioning it was her own decision to do the scene like that is also shrimptresting because it seems to implicitly confirm that there is, thank god, SOME kind of intimacy coordinator on set that the cast are talking about these scenes with. I actually also think the level of trust and comfort between Aqua and Frill this implies is also really interesting…? In general, I've always really like the idea of AQFR friendship, so this is kind of making me daydream a bit about seeing more of one…

As for the ending… man, it's such transparent reaction bait that I can't really summon the energy to get annoyed LOL. At least we won't have to wait a whole extra week to see what it amounts to.

Weary as I am with the reaction bait cliffhangers, I am at least glad to see the story coming around to finally addressing the elephant in the room here. As the chapter end text points out in the Japanese versions of this chapter, a scene like this was an inevitability of playing Ai and Hikaru and it's been where I've expected to see the underlying tension that's been floating around AQRB's relationship since the past life reveal finally get drawn out and addressed. Given its placement in the story (ch 142 is only the second chapter of its corresponding volume) and the framing of that last page as more of a gag/punchline than a serious dramatic beat, I don't things are quite going to play out like Ruby seems to want, but I'm nevertheless curious as to wtf is even going to happen

Honestly, at this point, I kind of just want Akasaka to shit or get off the pot. If he's going to bring a topic like incest to the table, then I want him to actually have something to say about it that isn't just Ruby going 'kyaa oniichan' and acting like a fanservice imouto character from a harem anime. If we're going to have something like 'Ruby falls in love with her brother' actually happen in story, then I want to see how she feels about this, how she rationalizes it, how she expects this to play out when she and Aqua live in a society that by and large condemns incest and treats it as taboo. At the very least, give me something to dig into and examine and chew on that wouldn't have already felt dated during the mid 2010s little sister boom.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #chapter reviews #onk spoilers #csa mention

[thefirstknife]

i don't have a team to do the dungeon with, so i gotta ask. What are the lucent brood doin on Titan? Are they under Xivu's command now?

The Lucent Brood were trying to resurrect Oryx (whose body was found on Titan in the deep sea). They planned to do so with the combination of Light (a Ghost) and necromancy.

It's currently unclear if Xivu played a part here. In the trailer, the narration is Xivu saying "All who pass through these halls are mine." However, she does not say this anywhere in the dungeon itself. The only time we hear Xivu speak in the dungeon is in collectibles which are Xivu's memories. It's revealed that Xivu was visiting Oryx's grave frequently and grieving. Whatever she was saying at his corpse and her memories in general were absorbed by the corpse itself, which is why we were able to hear them.

We learn that Xivu Arath was devastated when she learned that Oryx has died. She could hardly believe it and she was especially angry because we didn't take up his spot when we killed him. The Sword Logic demands it. But when we refused to do that, we refused the Sword Logic, but we still proved that we were stronger than Oryx, thus proving that we're stronger than the Sword Logic and that the Sword Logic is not the ultimate worldview. This completely shattered Xivu and sowed a seed of doubt in her head.

AND HIS KILLERS HAVE NOT ASSUMED THE MANTLE OF THE TAKEN KING. BLASPHEMY. BLASPHEMY! HOW? HOW CAN THE SPEAR THAT PIERCED A MILLION WORLDS BE KILLED BY THOSE WHO WOULD DENY THE ALL-EDGED TRUTHS? ... WAS IT ALL FOR... NOTHING?

This not only caused doubt in her, but also a need to bring him back, or attempt it. Listen to this:

I HAVE DIED... AND YET WAS SUMMONED BACK BY YOU. YOU, WHO REMEMBERED ME AS WAR? OUR SISTER DIED, AND WAS SUMMONED BACK BY YOU. YOU, WHO CONSPIRED WITH HER CUNNING? SO IT MUST BE FOR NOW. IF YOUR LEGACY IS TRUE, BROTHER, IT WILL COME UNTO US AND DEFEAT OUR BLASPHEMY. AND IF NOT... IF NOT, WHAT WE ATTEMPT CANNOT BE BLASPHEMY. FOR WE HAVE SURVIVED YOU. SURPASSED THE POWER OF YOUR WILL. AIAT. AIAT.

She's recounting how the Hive have a way to bring someone back and specifically she is recounting the event when Oryx invoked the nature of his sisters to return them to life. She's musing on how to bring him back in a similar way and is trying to justify it to herself that what she's attempting wouldn't be "blasphemy."

But going forward, she continuously denies the Light, is extremely aggravated about Savathun going to the Light, speaks in praise of the Witness and the Final Shape arriving and talks how the Witness will end us eventually. So, would someone who said all of this really go to commit the ultimate blasphemy of not only using the Light, something she despises her sister for, but also necromancy, one of the biggest heresies of the Hive? Savathun was exiled for the crime of heresy!

However, Xivu Arath's final message is very poignant and relevant as well. She is still having doubt and attachments. She is still grieving and she is still compromised by her love for her family. So maybe she would go that far, especially if she does it in hiding, so that nobody knows it's her who directed it. This bit is also important because it echoes the exact same thoughts from Savathun:

WHAT IS THIS FEELING? THE SKY IS MORTALLY WOUNDED, BLEEDING OUT. YET... A PART OF ME LONGS FOR THE COMFORT OF THE GARDENS. OF YOUR STORIES. OF SISTER'S. I LONG FOR OUR JOURNEYS TOGETHER... ... WHAT IS THIS FEELING? I DO NOT WANT IT!

Savathun in Hawkmoon tab from Season of the Hunt:

I am reminded of my home. I am reminded of the warmth of the sun and the embrace of my family. I am reminded of my father's face. I am reminded of everyone I betrayed. All the blood spilled in the name of immortality. The warmth of the sun burns me with its memory.

What is this feeling?

I do not want it.

When Savathun said this, she was already an established heretic to the Hive, exiled and reviled by the rest, as well as on the run from the Black Fleet. If Xivu is experiencing this, it must mean that she is actively doubting her place and allegiance. So did she secretly team up with some Lucent Hive to try and do this? Is she using them as a cover to try and bring back Oryx? Or are these two things entirely unrelated and Xivu's mourning for her brother and inability to let go is entirely independed of what the Lucent Brood tried to accomplish?

Because there's no way she could attempt this openly and remain in the good graces of the rest of the Hive, especially her own. And there's no way that this would fly with the Witness. As a matter of fact, now that we've seen the exact depths of her attachment and love for family, we also know that she is most certainly not a Disciple. This attachment would preclude her from it. This whole thing might be a mystery on purpose; Xivu is still largely unknown to us. Could be a tactical distraction, some sort of strategy in war to confuse us or split our attention. I'm really interested in what others think about this because we have evidence for both options.

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #season of the deep #season of the deep spoilers #ghosts of the deep dungeon #xivu arath #ask #long post

[mono-blogs-art]

It is WILD to me that from what I've seen on chaser game w fandom talk, people are much more sympathetic towards Aoyama (Itsuki's guy friend, who outed her at her workplace explicitly because of his unrequited love towards her) than Kou (Fuyu's husband, who found out that his wife cheated on him and lied to his face about it too, and who had built a life and family with a partner who he now knows never felt the same about him).

??? I have a lot of thoughts about how the finale handled that Fuyu/Kou scene but I genuinely thought it was one of the more sensible, complex, and well-done scenes of the show.

I guess as The Husband he is much more of an "obstacle" to the main pair than Some Guy Itsuki explicitly rejects romantically and even breaks ties with after finding out about him outing her. But the show even fucking tells you in the epilogue that Aoyama had a successful career after, while not mentioning Kou at all. We don't even know if Fuyu and him ended up splitting/getting a divorce etc. Presumably she left him (and their daughter??) in China before returning to Itsuki in Japan.

Like I'm sorry to defend The Man in the lesbian show, but he has genuinely not done anything wrong; arguably not even him leaving for a few days after Fuyu treated him like shit was wrong. He has done nothing but support Fuyu and their family. His one interaction with Itsuki was - although justifiably stand-off-ish and charged given the circumstances - polite and respectful. He's not even homophobic!!!!!!! When Fuyu finally admits to the affair and tells him she's actually a lesbian, his only reaction is to A) inquire if she's always felt that way and if yes, why she married him anyway, B) check in with her if that means she'd like to split up, or continue their marriage, and C) to ask her not to meet with Itsuki again if they were to continue their marriage. Like that is literally such a reasonable request, my man is so much more forgiving than I and probably You could ever be. Like there is no point at which the source of his upset is the fact that she cheated on him with a woman, specifically. He doesn't love her any less for it, he doesn't call her names, he doesn't make any snarky remarks to insult her sexuality etc (apart from pointing out that she's been cold towards him, which she HAS, girl I really hope you didn't treat him like shit through ALL of those 5 years of marriage).

And like, I'm not gonna be like "uhhhh this poor man deserves Fuyu's affection since they're married, she should at least give him another chance" like of course NOT. She's unhappy with him, she's madly in love with a woman who she'd give up everything for. She's a lesbian. She doesn't owe him any love or affection but she DID cheat on him. Repeatedly. For weeks. IN THEIR FAMILY HOME, NONETHELESS. LET US NOT FORGET THAT SHE DID VERY MUCH CHEAT ON HER HUSBAND IN THEIR MARRIAGE BED (presumably). Like girl I know you love pussy and I do too but you're still an asshole!!!!!!!!!!!

And even then. She DOES love him. She says so herself, and it's true. And I know this may be wild to imagine but love doesn't have to be romantic. She loves him, in her own fucked up way, because she's deeply traumatized from years and years of internalised homophobia, being broken up with in the WORST way possible, and falling back into (presumably) denying her sexuality once again. Falling in love with being loved, and cherishing it so much that you forget what hurt you in the first place. Like, I can 100% understand Fuyu's reasoning in that situation. Even if I've never been in a similar situation, it makes perfect sense to me. I understand it even if it's horrible. And like yeah, Fuyu's character IS a hot mess and I love her and this show because of it (lmao) but she has treated this man so badly for what we can only assume is YEARS, and still she cherished what he provided for her enough to make her falter when her betrayal was revealed. For a second, the true repercussions dawned on her, and she decided that she wasn't willing to give up her family, her career, and her daughter just to reunite with Itsuki. And so she told him that she'd never go see Itsuki again. Like that is literally one of the most (and only) logical thinking they gave to any character for this show the whole season!!!! But of course it's also wrong like girl no you can't!!! And then she changes her mind for the gay happy end!!!!! Truly I got to eat my cake and eat it too. The finale was actually like. I don't want to say satisfying because I'd really need another scene with Fuyu and Kou for that, but at least satisfying enough for me to pretend that they figured it out somewhere off-screen. Hopefully.

That was my 2am rambling on how they resolved the Fuyu/Kou relationship. And I really wish ppl liked him more because literally my man has done nothing wrong. He's not even homophobic. HE'S NOT EVEN HOMOPHOBIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aoyama however is the fucking worst and I hate that the show portrayed him in such a good light at the end, GOD I will seethe forever

#mono-loguing #i should stop posting at 2am but. i just got home from smooching my girl I've still got some adrenaline in my veins #chaser game w

[ceriseisland]

Can you talk about what exactly blue’s (f) arc was in FRLG?

I have two thoughts on her "arc" in frlg: that it's conceptually interesting and that she also suffered from a nonsensical personality change

FRLG opens with Silver stating that Green has recovered from her trauma with the help of her friends. This is the logical next step to take her development after GSC, but Kusaka decided to essentially remove her personality to show that she's grown as a person. Like, her personality was formed from trauma so we're just taking the whole thing away to show that she isn't traumatized anymore, which isn't how people work. This is similar to how Yellow's bravado and denseness has been slowly replaced by softness and shyness ever since she was revealed to be a girl. It doesn't feel like a logical progression like other dexholders have, but instead she just feels like a new version of the same character

Some things about Green in FRLG are completely different. Why does Red say he doesn't want to involve her in the fight? The arc acts like her parents disappearing in front of her is the most traumatic thing instead of, like, just another traumatic event on the list of shit she's been dealing with since she was five. Her response doesn't make sense when we know that her cheeky personality is a response to growing up having to take care of herself, so completely dropping that especially in the face of stress feels weird. I assume she would revert to her old coping mechanisms under stress, but instead she's more open and vulnerable than we've ever seen her despite the rawness of the situation (compare that to how Ruby keeps reverting to his bad coping mechanisms despite his efforts to change). And Red has seen her overcome her fear of birds by capturing the legendary bird trio and showing up to fight with them, so wanting to keep her out of the fight doesn't make sense either. And why does professor oak insist that she's the most sensible kanto dexholder? The girl he publicly humiliated for stealing? She's definitley not more level headed than them enough to justify only giving her vital information. It really does feel like her personality was yanked out and replaced with Generic Girl personality. It doesn't feel like a realistic next step for her development as a person

On the other hand, her "arc" fits really well into the theme of FRLG (though some of it is just speculation). FRLG is a story about these one dimensional characters in a simple shonen universe growing up and realizing that the world is more complicated than they thought, and suffering because they dont realize it at first. For Green, she starts out in new clothes sitting pretty and proper under an umbrella, waiting for her parents to arrive and everything wrong with her childhood to be righted. But since this is FRLG, it isn't that simple, and her parents get abducted by Deoxys. Then later on we get this exchange

where she admits to her parents that she's changed because of what she went through and she can't go home just yet. It seems to me like Green thought she could make everything go back to the way it was before she was kidnapped. That's why the first full shot we get of her is this

where she's sitting all ladylike waiting for them, and she definitely isn't a ladylike person. I think there's some delusion there about a simple world, like other dexholders in this arc, where she thinks if she just acts like the child her parents lost, they'll go back to being the family they were when she was little. But she changed because she was kidnapped, and it's impossible to go back to who she was before all the bad things happened. I think that's what Kusaka was getting at with her here, that just like with Silver the ending is tragic and bittersweet. It feeds really well into the theme of FRLG, even if it isn't focused on much

[adiluv]

❥ 𝐃𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑 + 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐂𝐒 ꒰𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈꒱. ˚⊹꒷

🌨️୧・꒰word count꒱ 718.

📨୧・꒰warnings꒱ none!

🍶୧・꒰adi moment꒱ based on this imagine! didn't have that much more to say for kurt and luchino i'm afraid, so maybe i'll make a full post for them another time? but yk i just had to add emily as my very first main, loml, and the character i almost s-badged ♡♡♡ hope you enjoy! ໒꒰ྀི•̯́ ᴗ •̯̀꒱ྀི১

꒰💉꒱・Although one of the more sensible survivors, it does take Emily some time to realize that she even has a crush on you to begin with. After the... 'incident' at her clinic, it's safe to say that her circumstances weren't exactly steady enough for her to go around developing feelings—the overwhelming guilt and fear she'd been burdened with taking priority over such simple joys. While entrapment within the manor did allow her to regain some twisted sense of stability over her life, it still remained the last place she'd expected to find love... So she's very much shocked to find her face warming up after you'd thanked her for healing you mid-match.

꒰💉꒱・At first, she'll initially justify her reaction using the excuse of adrenaline—a justified reaction, considering her life is in constant danger during matches—though her reasoning doesn't exactly hold up when it continues to happen outside of matches. Usually, she hardly even thinks whenever she examines and dresses the various wounds that survivors ꒰and hunters, on rarer occasions꒱ enter the infirmary with, nor is a big deal if she has to tend to somebody that's gotten the unlucky cold or flu. Since that's the case, and she knows that it’s  the case... Why is it that her hands seem to be slightly shakier any time she's tending to you?

꒰💉꒱・While her occupation does do wonders at giving her reasons to talk to you, being the only reliable doctor within the manor certainly does come with its fair share of disadvantages. If she's not due to participate in a match, then there's somebody stumbling over to her in need of assistance. If the ever growing queue of patients has finally been cleared, she finds herself called back into the waiting room for yet another of the Baron's twisted games. And in the miraculous cases where neither of those situations are true, she's simply far too exhausted to even entertain the thought of seeking you out.

꒰💉꒱・Unlike both Kurt and Luchino, I don't think that Emily would be totally inexperienced with dating—having had a lover or two before being forced to take up her new identity. She hardly has much of an advantage at this point, though, considering just how long its been since she's experienced any sort of romance. She's especially bad with flirting, no longer anywhere near as energetic as her younger self. 

꒰💉꒱・Any hints of her feelings are incredibly subtle and easy to miss, leaving you in for quite the shock once her true intentions are revealed. What comes across to you as a friendly reminder to use the ointment she'd prescribed to you? Well, it was really just an excuse to talk to you. Her attentiveness to your well-being, along with the various supplements and vitamins that she recommends to keep you in tip-top shape? It's far more than she'd bother doing for most other survivors, by a long shot.

꒰💉꒱・She struggles a lot with her sense of guilt while crushing on you. Despite being aware of the many misdeeds of Oletus' other inhabitants, a part of her simply can't help but feel that she just doesn't deserve to have you reciprocate her feelings. As such, there are instances where she'd subconsciously sabotage herself, pushing you away in the hopes of destroying any chances of you liking her back. At the same time, however, the idea of making you uncomfortable in her presence is one she strongly dislikes—leading to a bizarre balancing act as she both pushes you away and pulls you towards her.

꒰💉꒱・For reasons mentioned in the previous headcanon, I don't see Emily as the type of person that would go out of her way to confess, though she would come clean about her growing affections for you if you decided to ask her about it. After all, it'd really only be counterintuitive for her to go and deny them if you've already started to suspect her—and she'll respect whatever decision you come to. Sure, receiving treatment might become a bit awkward if you decide to reject her, but the both of you ꒰seemingly꒱ have all the time in the world to move past it. She's not the type to hold such a thing against you, and she'd be absolutely honored if you decide to give her a chance.

i have a taglist, which you can sign up for here!

#꒰📍꒱﹕my writing ⋆ #identity v #identity 5 #idv #id5 #idv doctor #emily dyer #idv emily #emily dyer x reader #idv emily x reader #identity v x reader #idv x reader #identity v headcanons #identity v headcannons #idv headcanons #idv headcannons

[winterwitch-trash]

“All hell breaks loose.”

Author's Note: HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Apologies this took so long to post! I'm back on this fic with a small change: Bucky's wife has a name finally. (Otherwise it would be boring to keep repeating "She" or "Bucky's wife" all the time, right? Right!)

Summary: Bucky's wife has arranged a day out in the city to attend meetings with local charities. Bucky isn't too keen on letting her go without a bodyguard but she has convinced him that she can take care of herself. Oh how wrong she was...

Word Count: 1952 words Chapter Warnings: Language, Violence, non-con (TRIGGERING CONTENT, PROCEED WITH CAUTION, DNI)

Months of meticulous planning and preparation were finally paying off. Rumlow had somehow found out where Barnes’s wife would be. She would be having a business lunch with people representing various charities. Too bad she would never make it there. Rumlow’s men had strict orders to keep her alive. After all, he wanted to be the one who dealt with her, knowing that it would ruin James.

“Sir, we are all prepared to leave.” One of the men informed the mobster who smirked in response. “Bring her to me.” He simply ordered, taking a sip from his scotch. In a few hours, he would have his enemy down to his knees, begging like a dog…

As for Bucky’s wife, she had absolutely no idea what was about to happen to her. It was one of those rare times she didn’t choose to take a bodyguard with her, despite Bucky’s requests for her to do so. She was just about to leave the mansion when a disgruntled brown-haired mobster appeared at her door. “Doll…Please, at least take Steve with you.. That’ll give me some peace of mind while you’re out there doing business.” He attempted one more time only to be met with an amused look from her. “Sweetheart, I love you, but you know I can take care of myself… Besides, you taught me self-defense.  ” She reminded him, a soft laugh echoing from her lips as she kissed his cheek before moving towards the door. “I’ll be back before you know it. I promise.” She finally told him, not knowing that it would be a while until she made it home… She also didn’t know that things would change from now on…

Bucky knew she was right. She could take care of herself if need be. Nothing could prepare him for what was coming though.

As the day went by, he couldn’t really focus on anything. And Steve was able to pick up on his friend’s discomfort. “I know you’re worried, but you know her.. She’s going to be back soon, and she’ll be in one piece. Right?”

He couldn’t be more wrong though…. Soon, Bucky’s worries would turn out to be justified.

As his wife was heading to the restaurant where the representatives of the charity organization were awaiting, a gunshot echoed in the air, lodging itself between the driver’s eyes, sending the car spinning out, ultimately crashing into a water pole. The impact was so intense that it caused her to black out.

After what seemed like an eternity, she woke up in a dark room, slightly disoriented from the crash earlier. But eventually, her vision became clearer and she realized that she was tied down. “Shit… I’ve got to get out of here…” She mumbled to herself, fear and panic rising within her as the minutes ticked by. It was only then that she saw a dark shadow approaching with slow movements. “Glad to see you woke up princess…” He said, wetting his lips in that disgusting manner that made the uneasy feeling worse. Who was this man and what did he want with her? “…. Ah, yes. Where are my manners?” He taunted, revealing himself. “The name is Rumlow…” 

At the sound of the name, a shiver wrecked Bucky’s wife. This was not good. Not good at all.

“What do you want with me?” She asked bravely, making the dark-haired mobster laugh in response. “Simply to meet the woman who stole my enemy’s heart. And I can see why he’s taken with you sweetheart…” Rumlow mused tracing a finger across her collarbone. Sweetheart.. God, the pet name sounded so wrong from his lips….

“Don’t you fuckin’ touch me!” The female spat, trying to get his hands off her. This act of defiance only served to enrage Rumlow who backhanded her without a warning. Deep down though, he liked women who appeared brave in the face of danger…

“Then don’t provoke me you little bitch…” He growled, ripping the dress shirt off of her, leaving her exposed in the cool air of the room. And that was the first time she actually began feeling scared, considering the hungry look he was sporting. Whatever he was planning… it was not good. Not good at all.

“Now, you and I will send a little message to your husband… It would be a shame for him to worry about your whereabouts..” He smirked again, causing her to whimper in fear. And that’s what spurred Rumlow on to carry out his plan. What the girl didn’t know was that there was a camera recording all the disgusting actions that took place.

It didn’t matter that Bucky’s wife kept pleading for him to stop touching her… He simply laughed, extinguishing cigars all over her body, just to make her scream in agony before he tilted her chin up, forcing her to look up at him through tearful eyes. “The real pain has begun baby girl… Are you ready for yours?” He taunted, lowering his pants. “Please… Please let me go…” She cried, seemingly having given up. After all he was physically stronger.

“Stop moving and I’ll make it fun for the both of us…” He sneered, cupping her cheek. This gesture made her nauseous but she stilled and allowed him to caress her cheek. Oh this was turning out easier than he thought… “See, princess? It’s not that hard to relax and enjoy it…I can’t wait to hear those sweet sounds I’m sure you’re gonna make..” That was the breaking point for Odette. She couldn’t bare feeling his disgusting hands all over her. So she did the one thing she could think of, biting down on his hand, causing Rumlow to jump back in surprise. “What the fuck?!” He yelped inspecting his palm that was bleeding. She had drawn blood, which both impressed him and enraged him.

While Rumlow was trying to stop the blood from the small wound, Odette found the opportunity to undo the knot that was binding her hands together, and then it was a fight or flight situation as she tried to make a run for the door, only to be pulled back by none other than Rumlow who was practically inhaling her scent, causing violent shivers to wreck her scarred body resulting her freezing completely in fear. Whatever fight she had left in her had completely vanished, and now she was at his mercy – or the lack of it. She just wanted this to end as quickly as possible.

“What’s the matter sweetheart? Cat got your tongue?? Rumlow smirked forcing a wet kiss across her breasts. For the first time, Odette’s voice was caught in a silent plea for help, wishing that Bucky would storm the place and shoot Rumlow dead. But to no avail…

Rumlow simply laughed mockingly, bending her over, towards where the camera was placed. After that, it felt like everything had faded to black… She missed how he enjoyed taking advantage of her, how he growled in pleasure while she suffered. All while that damn camera was recording everything. Hours later, Odette woke up, disoriented and sore, and scared out of her mind as her memory of the events that took place mere hours ago.  Oh god… She had to get out of here… @tuiccim @world-of-aus A huge thank you to both for helping out with ideas and feedback <3

#bucky barnes #fanfiction #never mess with a mafia lord #my writing

[uptoolateart]

The colour scheme in 'Emotion'...right??? Symbolically upholding the episode's very title. It's taken me ages to get around to writing this up. Let's take this in parts.

White

At the Diamonds Dance, they're all in white - except Kagami, who I'll get back to. I analysed white to death in this post about Gabriel's new outfit, so I won't go into it again here. In quick summary, I think the white at the dance showed uniformity, blankness, loss of identity, coldness, a total lack of true emotion...a backdrop for the colour that gets splashed on later. As the heirs to the family fortunes, these kids are not allowed to have their own personalities, passions and lives. They are paper to be written on by the toxic adults.

Red

As mentioned, Kagami stands out as the only one in colour - red, no less. She's like blood on snow. Red brings to mind the heart, vigour, courage, anger, religious fervour, love - in other words, passion.

Kagami really lacks this in her life - but she wants it. It's definitely in her, waiting to be expressed. After all, she's an artist. And we saw how she got with Adrien. But at every turn, she's pushed back into herself, apologising for having desires and needs.

Then Felix swoops in and kisses her hand, confusing her and making her flustered. When he's revealed for who he is, and he makes the people disappear, she comes at him in attack. One way or another, he inspires in her all the passion she normally holds in - job done, Felix.

Turning to Felix himself, he confesses that he created the red moon out of anger. In this case, his passion takes the form of rage. I mentioned in another post that he literally sees red and forces everyone else to see things through those red-tinted glasses, too. He acts as zealot, forcing everyone to jump onboard the same ideological train he was riding, though he then came to see this wasn't the way to uphold his beliefs, no matter how justified they may be.

And why a moon? Because for millennia, traditions all over the world have linked the moon with emotions - dreams - the subconscious. By flooding it in red, those were Felix's dreams, his passions, brought to life and imposed upon everyone in Paris.

Blue

Without the red moon, the colour scheme is blue. The fire is quelled, and we are left with water, in a sense - another ancient symbol of emotions and dreams and, notably, the unconscious. Think of the secrets the ocean hides. It's also a symbol of secrets coming to light - think of the moon illuminating the darkness. Felix was not only on the brink of outing himself but he was attempting to out the others and enable them to be their true selves, without shame, for the first time...albeit, he didn't go about it the right way.

And finally, blue is connected with sadness - and sometimes fear or confusion. Ever heard the expression 'blue funk'? In short, in red, Felix is insane. In blue, he becomes a sympathetic mess, shown through his tearful breakdown on the rooftop after he snaps away the senti-moon.

But you know...I'm inclined to say that even when losing himself in red, it was still better than the cold, blank white of that party. He definitely got that much right. He's not someone who allows others to write his story for him. Now he just needs to figure out how to channel both the red and the blue aspects of his emotions in a healthier way and leave people like Gabriel behind - because as long as Gabriel can fill him with that much rage, Felix is still under the man's control, regardless of who holds the rings or the peacock.

#ml meta #ml analysis #ml colour scheme #ml felix #felix fathom #ml fandom #miraculous ladybug #felix graham de vanily #ml emotion #mlb emotion #ml s5 spoilers #ml spoilers #mlb s5 spoilers #mlb s5 #ml kagami #kagami tsurugi #sentimonster felix #sentimonster kagami #gabriel agreste's a+ parenting #ml gabriel #gabriel agreste #sentimonster adrien #ml theory

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

A popular move in zutara fics: to bring Katara (with or without Zuko, it doesn’t matter) to the South Pole at some point to show that she doesn’t feel at home there anymore.

I know the fanfics’ authors just want to convince the readers that Katara will not suffer missing her home while living constantly in the FN, but for me… it just feels more sad. Like the authors themselves took Katara’s home away from her and then turn to us smiling: “Don’t worry, she’s be fine, it’s not a big deal, actually!”.

IMAGINE constantly saying shit like "Zutara fans are the only ones who are genuine Katara fans" and "Aang doesn't respect/understand Katara's culture and would demand her to leave it behind for his sake, something Zuko would never do" and then pulling something like this. Self-awareness whomst? And let me guess, some of these also use "The water tribe is sexist" as a way to justify why Katara no longer feels at home there?

Katara's connection to her culture remained strong through literally THE ENTIRE SHOW - and that elements of her culture that were "lost" to her were a direct result OF THE WAR ZUKO'S FAMILY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR!

In the first episode, we see that she wants to properly learn waterbending - something she can't do in her own tribe, because, again, Azulon, Zuko's grand-father, had every waterbender captured (and eventually started just killing them - leading to the death of Kya). Those raids also made her dad end up leaving to fight against the Fire Nation, something Katara understands, but will later be revealed to be deeply hurt by because she wants her family to stay together, and she couldn't help but resent her father a little/lot for leaving their home.

Still, with that much having been taken away from her, when Aang is banished and she says that if he leaves, she's leaving too, the very second Sokka asks if she's really gonna choose someone over her own tribe and family, Katara is visibly shaken and it's clear she wants to take back what she just said (but she doesn't have to, because Aang does it for her, because surprise surprise, Aang never expects her to make such a huge sacrifice for him). Only when his identity as the Avatar is revealed and Katara would be allowed to leave with him for a while, and come back home later, does she look 100% ready for this mission - mission that is to teach them BOTH waterbending, as Aang explicitly says "We can learn it together!"

During her talk with Haru, he mentions how earthbending makes him feel close to his father again - and it's pretty clear the same goes for Katara. And what's the point of that entire episode? Katara helping people be able to use their bending again and come back home after being captured by the Fire Nation.

When Aang is a better waterbender then her (at first), Katara is visibly jealous. When she meets Jet, she relates to him because of how the Fire Nation took his family from him, and in the end of the episode she's deeply ashamed of herself because she trusted this stranger more than Sokka, her own sibling and part of her tribe. She is about to cry when she thinks Jet might have hurt or killed him.

When the Gaang runs into Bato, it's clear that Sokka and Katara are thrilled to be around someone they knew their whole lives. Aang however feels left out, as that is not his culture, he doesn't have a connection to it, and now he fears that his friends, the only family has left, will give up on their mission. So, he hides the map to their father - only to then feel like shit because the others find a way to include him in what is very much a water tribe thing, and so admits what he did. And both Sokka AND KATARA are heartbroken and furious, and decide to leave Aang because they don't accept anyone or anything preventing them from being with their family.

They then get captured by Zuko - who is taunting Katara with Kya's necklace, the last thing she has of her mom, in the hopes that this will make her reveal where Aang is. Naturally, Katara doesn't like that one bit. Aang then, of course, shows up, the trio defeats Zuko yet again, and once they are all on good terms as they believe Aang learned his lesson, he gives Katara the necklace back, without expecting anything in exchange.

Sometime after that, they finally get to the North Pole, where Katara shows she's absolutely ready to throw hands with Pakku for trying to say she can only be a healer, not a fighter. We then find out Gran-Gran moved to the Southern Water Tribe because it was NOT sexist like the North, Pakku stops being a dick, and when he decides to go help the South Pole recover from all the damage the Fire Nation did, Katara is unbelievably happy.

Another moment that makes her very happy is in season 3, when she meets Hama and says it would be an honor to learn about her culture from someone who lived in the South Pole before the Fire Nation destroyed it. There's also her reuinion with her dad after Sokka rescues him from the Boiling Rock, and then in the finale when he says Kya would be proud of her.

There's also "little things" like, you know, her ditching the Fire Nation clothes the zutara fandom loves to see her in, and going back to her blue clothes and having hair-loopies in her hair, because whenever she doesn't have to be undercover anymore, she makes damn sure anyone who sees her know which culture she belongs to.

She has been through a ton of trauma, was at odds with her dad for a while, spent months away from the South Pole, has literally crossed the entire world, and met people with very different cultures, and she STILL thinks of the SWT as her home and wants nothing more than to be allowed to be with her family again.

Plus, let's mention the obvious since Zutarians love ignoring it: In "The Swamp", she has a vision of her mother and is overjoyed when she thinks that, against all odds, Kya is still alive - and is heartbroken as she's reminded of what she lost. And who does she say took Kya away from her during her talk with Zuko in Ba Sing Se? Oh yeah, the Fire Nation. She echoes that sentiment again, in The Southern Raiders, when Azula attacks the group, who then decides to split because the writers didn't know what to do with that many characters, as Katara straight up says to her dad that THE FIRE NATION CAN'T SEPARATE THEIR FAMILY AGAIN!

Back to Ba Sing Se for a moment. During that talk with Zuko, she also says that, for the longest time, when she thought of "the enemy", she pictured HIS face. Fitting considering he attacked her tribe, threatened to burn people if he didn't get the Avatar, and was constantly hunting her, Sokka and Aang (who she considers family) down. He then proves she was right to think of him that way, as he helps the Fire Nation basically win the war AND allows Azula to kill Aang.

All of that makes her hate Zuko's guts, hence her very clearly threatening to kill him in book 3 if he ever stepped out of line again, and being very antagonistic to him in some scenes, and telling him that if he wants her forgiveness he should find a way to bring her mother back - not because she's unfairly "projecting her anger at her mom's murderer onto him" like Zuko said - but because she sees him, his family and his nation as the cause of everything that went wrong in her life AND SHE'S RIGHT! Then becoming genuine friends later doesn't change that.

But SOMEHOW Zutarians see ALL OF THAT and conclude that Katara would no longer feel a connection to her tribe once the war was over, and would instead want to move to the FIRE NATION and would actually feel at home there?

If THEY are the real Katara fans, I don't even wanna know what a Katara hater would look like.

#anti zutara #katara doesn't want to be fire lady #katara would never leave her tribe

[pinkandpurple360]

Pink i think people often see the portrayal of victim who happen to be kind, sweet and not shitty person. So the victim who happen to be horrible people shitty, cruel, villain if anything bad happen to them we don't feel bad we twistedly see that as form of punishment example like being abused mentally or psyhically or sexually, being raped,

do you ever heard the manga or watch the anime peach girl?

This series it's just a mess don't even bother to read or even watching it. So there's character name Sae Kashiwagi shes the type of character we love to hate spreading rumor about her own best friend, disguising herself as her, very petty and cruel, tricking momo into believeing she getting raped. There's reveal turn out she was neglected by her family she herself also getting bullied in her elemantary school and there's time she getting tricked by her own boyfriend filming porn video

She's awful but i was wondering why on earth the author doesn't show us the effect of that abuse on her. I speicifically talking about the neglect by her family, her family favoritism toward her brother over her. Shitty person but she doesn't deserve all of that she went through same with blitzo he doesn't deserve to get abused, raped etc. I just want accountability the narrative acknowledge they are awful people

Anon Peach Girl was one of my favourites ! Course when I was 9 I thought it was just the coolest most dramatic and romantic thing ever..now I realise it’s pretty melodramatic most of the time, and just plain cringe !

And you’re so right. It seems cruel to justify anyone’s abuse with “well they treat other people badly so they deserve it” that is very dark. Sae was genuinely a monster the entire time and her backstory made me feel really sympathetic but I didn’t know how it connected to her relationship to Momo at all. It just felt a bit out of place.

Isn’t it sad that the message is that it’s Blitzs fault for being exploited, violated, abused, because he’s not a great guy? Because he didn’t try hard enough to stop Stolas? That is so fucking gross.

#helluva boss critical #tw rape #tw mentions of sa

[takemetodragonstone]

Something episode 8 did a really good job of showing is how Alicent only cares about appearances, or at least cares about appearances more than she cares about anything else.

Someone who makes gifs could show it better than me but what I’m talking about it this—

Being visibly upset that Otto didn’t arrange a proper reception for Rhaenyra’s family because it will reflect badly on her

Saying: “But what I worry about it what other people might think.” to Dyana, essentially shaming her after she was raped by aegon, AND insinuating that it would be shameful to AEGON that people might think Dyana would be “the kind of girl who would entice him in the first place” which is a pretty cold insult to throw at a sexual assault victim still processing her trauma

“Think of the shame on your wife, the shame on your family” to Aegon about the rape, not decrying the action itself, only the bad light it shines on her and the rest her family

“Why would you say something like that before these people?” to Aemond when he called Rhaenyra’s sons “Strong boys”, when we know from that look Aemond and Alicent shared during his interrogation in episode 7 that she is the one who has filled his head with these rumors for years.

Basically what I’m saying is that Alicent needs to be the victim in order to justify her anger and validate her own righteousness. She needs to feel that she’s above reproach. Her whole sense of identity hinges on it. But deep down she knows she’s not, and she’s trying desperately to hide it.

Her family are the good ones in her mind, and that’s essential to her worldview. So when they act in contrast to that—Aegon committing an act which is unquestionably villainous even to Alicent, Aemond breaking the peace at dinner, even Otto revealing his ill will with the petty lack of welcoming for Rhaenyra—it shatters her perfectly constructed idea of herself as a paragon of Goodness fighting for Honor and Decency. Because those very people she’s fighting for are not displaying much of either, and her greatest fear is that other people will see it.

#this kind of turned into a rambling mess but I think my meaning came through in the end #I’ve known people like alicent in the real world and they suck sooooo much #alicent hightower #house of the dragon #hotd spoilers #anti alicent hightower #i don’t even think of myself as anti alicent that’s literally just her character but tagging to avoid drama from her stans #hotd meta

[lexa-griffins]

How about the opening paragraphs of The act of falling in love?

They are betrothed to one another at age fifteen. Neither laments it.  Lexa has loved Clarke for as long as she has been breathing air. The alpha is sweet and gentle, the owner of a bright smile and joyful laugh, her expected presentation at the tender age of eleven doing nothing to change her kind nature. Loving Clarke is easy for the omega; natural, innate. Reserved as she is, heart guarded and fragile, Lexa does not reveal it, although she suspects it is known by all from the moment they met, both pups of not yet six years of age. Her love for Clarke naturally grows for all the ways they are different; Clarke’s reckless nature that makes Lexa’s cautious and wary way of living seem dull; her defiance of instituted rules has Lexa question why she follows them so rigorously. The alpha’s love for savory treats and the way she still always carries candy with her wherever they go purely because she knows Lexa loves the sweetness of them. Similarly, it grows for all the ways they are alike; the acceptance of duty, the stubbornness they share. Their love for literature, for the arts and the hours they can spend talking about both subjects without ever feeling bored. For all her love, however, there is something Lexa knows to be true. Clarke does not love her.  And Lexa does not care.

Okay, so to start, I really wanted to show that Lexa and Clarke are young. Fifteen years old, barely teenagers. They're kids. Clarke has known she was an alpha since she was eleven years old, hinting that Lexa has had her presentation as an omega revealed more recently. And the moment Lexa presented, they knew it was only a matter of time until their parents arranged their engaged and they were both content with it. There is no resentment between childhood friends who know they are to marry one another. There's even excitement, not just on Lexa's part but Clarke's, too. One thing is that Clarke is never fake in the true feelings towards Lexa from the very beginning, but she does care greatly for this friend of hers and knowing just how Lexa can be guarded with herself, she really never wants to hurt Lexa's feelings despite wanting to be allowed her freedom while it is allowed.

They still have their entire teen years ahead to learn how to love and be who they are. Clarke does get that more or less as we see later. She learns to fall in love with Finn and working at a clinic she has instruction in the medical field. Lexa, however, needs none of that. She has loved Clarke from the moment they meet, both still so young. But she knows Clarke did not feel the same, she was so small yet, both not even sure of their presentations, although Clarke was always expected to present as an alpha and when she did, Lexa hoped she'd present as an omega as she seemed to hint at it but showed this very put together way of presenting herself that some suspected she'd might surprise everyone with an alpha presentation. So Lexa kept her heart well guarded, loving her from afar.

Given that the fic is written from Lexa's pov, it's easy to see the love a young Lexa feels for Clarke, in their shared interests and in their differences, this admiration Lexa has for who Clarke is, the reasons that justify her live to a girl who does not love her back. Lexa trusts Clarke so entirely with her heart, she has known her for most of her life.

But because Clarke has never lied to her about her feelings and is more than pleased with their engagement, happy, delighted even, Lexa doesn't feel a need to hide that love for her. Even later on, when she learns of Clarke's fling, that trust Lexa has (although later shaken by her own insecurities) never changes. She allows Clarke that love for the beta boy while knowing Clarke will still marry her and take her as a wife and mate with opened arms because that's what Clarke /wants/ not because it's something she has to do.

And that's why Lexa does not care that Clarke doesn't love her. And why "Clarke does not love her. Lexa doesn't care" keeps being repeated throughout the fic. I wanted it to be this repetition that no, Clarke is not in love with Lexa. But Lexa is happy this way. She is not setting, she is no resentful. She accepts it. Because Clarke knows Lexa loves her. And she cherishes and cares for Lexa's heart with as much gentleness as she can until the moment Clarke can give her heart to Lexa too. Lexa's is a fragile and guarded heart but she trusts it with Clarke better than with herself.

#letter opened #reallygroovyninja #au: taofil #it feels like im repeating myself a bit but this fic is really about repetition and the need to iterate this idea #of Clarke not loving Lexa but wanting to #while Lexa patiently awaits for her knowing her heart is safe #☺️☺️☺️ this was fun to write!!! #clexa

[beck-nightengale]

Character Ask for Jade the Prophetess

So I'd been ticking away at that old Enderal Character Ask for some weeks and finally had time to finish it, and lordy was that a lot of questions with a lot of answers...

Have some lineart/expressions that my friend (please commission her, she's amazing) did for my girl if you're just passing by:

But yeah. This thing ended up being a lot of words - more words than what is probably necessary (I'm justifying it because she's a novel character that much of her backstory will be re-adapted to, anyway). Even with all of this, there are still a lot of side details left out, but... I figure my Ask Box is open if anyone is curious about any bits in particular.

Grab some tea if you're down for that.

Warning for spoilers (obviously), child/domestic abuse, cannibalism, eye scream, mental illness, addiction, and the usual Enderal fuckery that's on full steam ahead. (I guess this should be a given, but hey you never know.)

1. The basics – name, age, etc…

Her original name was Jehoel Gris. She started using “Jade” shortly after her family was killed because of, you know, Reasons. Distancing herself from her old life, for one. Second, it had come at the suggestion of an old Aeterna woman, who helped her to recover from the injuries she got after the Masked Men tried to burn her alive with her parents. This also prompted her to try to pass as human once she was on her own. Reinventing yourself can be pretty simple when you are already a nobody.

Age-wise, she is 32. Her birthdate is 14th of the Winter Star, 8202. So not very old, but old enough to have Gone Through Some Shit.

2. Describe their appearance.

Thanks to the Aeterna blood from her mother’s side, Jade is pretty dang tall, standing at 6’4” (195cm). Because of this, she slouches when she sits and generally carries herself in poor posture to make herself appear smaller than she actually is. Even then, her attempts are not always successful around those who can recognize the more subtle hints of her Aeterna features or catch a peek of her ears in her hair, but those traits are pretty subdued for the most part. She tries to pass as half-Qyranian/half-Nehrimese, which she might actually be a quarter of both. We just don’t know. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also she has freckles on her face, which aren’t always visible on her darker skin (it’s no mystery why her father didn’t believe that she was his child, really). Got some dark as fuck rings under her eyes from chronic insomnia. Her left eye is blind and pearl white in color, with some visible central heterochromia in her right, in which the outer iris is a storm-grey turning light brown/hazel towards the pupil.

3. How do they like to dress?

Generally prefers comfort over style, though she isn’t averse to dresses when wanting to look her Sundas’ best, which is rare. Purple is her favorite color, but she has very few opportunities to actually wear it. Her wardrobe varies a bit depending on the occasion. If she’s ever feeling particularly pretty, she’ll wear some flowers in her hair.

For the most part, she avoids outfits revealing too much skin, especially her hands, arms, and back, and she always wears gloves during her day-to-day activities. Not because she is modest, though...

4. Do they have any markings (scars, tattoos, birthmarks)?

The reason she covers her body with long sleeves and gloves would be the fact that it’s covered in scars. She’s not particularly self-conscious about her body, as she’s been intimate plenty of times without much trouble before. But she does feel that they make most people see her in a certain way (particularly pity or concern) that she would rather deflect more often than not. It’s also kind of hard to spin entertaining yarns about your childhood abuse or the time you barely managed to escape being burned alive by a cult, so she’s more likely to make up lies about where they come from than tell the truth.

Other scars just happen to be products of past scuffles and misadventures during her time as a street urchin and slave. Most notable are the severe burns left on her back, left shoulder, and behind her right leg.

Her face is not so easily covered up, and neither is Jade inclined to. After all, it’s an otherwise pretty face. She doesn’t care for helmets or masks to hinder her vision in the one good eye she has. The scar and blindness came from a particularly brutal incident, back when her father was first trying to teach her to hunt so she could be of more help on the farm. When she failed to hit a rabbit at a distance, he lashed out several times with the lower limb of a hunting bow. After a point, the left side of her face was swollen, and the eye came near to popping out entirely. Though it was salvaged with a combination of her mother’s healing salves and magic (which reduced what would have been severe disfigurements for the rest of her life), the eye remained permanently discolored. This event also may have left Jade comatose with some brain damage, had it not been for her mother’s healing, but it was also a turning point for how much abuse she could take, mentally and emotionally (and elaborated more on in later questions).

The remaining facial scars she has left are from the stitches where the skin had been split open from her father’s other… episodes. Her mother did what she could to heal Jade’s most grievous injuries, which led to her falling so sick with Arcane Fever so frequently that, on many days, she couldn’t even get out of bed. Jade didn’t fully understand the extent of Arcane Fever at the time, however, and just equated the memory with Light magic = bad.

5. What are they like? Describe their personality (use whatever tools you like- MBTI, D&D alignment, astrological signs, Hogwarts house, words/phrases):

Pre-Enderal, she’d probably be chaotic neutral; she did a lot of bad shit, but mostly out of survival. Post-Enderal and lots of character development later, she’s become more chaotic good, where she’s trying to be a better person than she was (or at least present herself as such) while still giving zero fucks about the law.

Moreover, Jade is the epitome of the type who masks their depression and deep loathing towards herself in humor and sarcasm, which seeps through self-deprecating jokes. And you can damn well bet that she hated when the Father called her out on this when she was working with Tharaêl, too. She wears all kinds of proverbial masks in hopes that no one can see the madwoman she fears she truly is.

See, ever since she was a child, she always had a peculiar connection with death, especially after the incident where she lost sight in her left eye… or so one can presume. Whether she truly heard the whispers of the dead or if it was the product of a shattered psyche, it’s hard to say. She kept the frequent visits of voices and phantasms to herself after her mother expressed fear that the girl’s mind just broke as a result of her father’s torment, or that she had suffered irreparable damage from her head injury. Most of the time, the voices she heard would go away on their own if she ignored them long enough, anyway. Since then, she always believed that people would think her mad if they got too close to her, started noticing the little ticks that always make her seem “off” – an ill-timed laugh, a hollow smile, talking when there’s seemingly no one else around. It was very wild how easily folks believed her when she started having her premonitions and experience with the dead after arriving on Enderal.

As an urchin child, she learned how to survive on the streets via thievery and fraud, until she was eventually caught and sold into slavery. The noblewoman who purchased her had taken an interest in her potential in burglary and violence, as she had a knack for both. Jade had no qualms when it came to killing in self-defense, which hardened her when it came to death in general (even though she may or may not have been haunted by those she killed for a time). This skill, coupled with her unassuming appearance and youth, made her an oddly effective hatchet person. If she wasn’t subjected to hard labor (which consumed the majority of her years as a slave), every now and then she was tasked to neutralize “threats” her master suspected of “plotting against her” – she was very paranoid, and a bit of a madwoman in her own right. As she grew into her adolescence, Jade just started seeing the killing as tiresome as any other chore she did, one in which she took neither joy nor despair, provided that she could shut the ghosts out.

6. How would they describe themselves?

“Hi, I’m garbage.”

7. Education level?

Smarter than one would think from a former farm girl, slave, street urchin, and possible madwoman – a fact which she uses to her own advantage, sometimes using reverse psychology-esque tactics by pretending to be dumber than she actually is. Not many would suspect a smooth talker out of her with the way she curses, but she’s maxed out in Rhetoric for a reason. Between her rather crass manner of speech, she can be remarkably well-spoken and thoughtful when it comes to matters she’s passionate about.

During her years as a slave, she was surprisingly given a basic education in reading and writing, which opened up a lot of avenues for Jade as she got older and would sneak some books to read during her rare downtimes. This is also just an excuse for how she’s able to speed read through all those skill books. Like, goddamn.

8. What are they proud of in themselves? What are they embarrassed about?

Jade would be hard-pressed to claim she takes any pride in the things she does, but she has developed the “fake it ‘til you make it” attitude to an art. Think you might be losing your mind? Pretend you’re sane until it goes away or no one notices. :)

Also she has shamefully high confidence in her seduction skills – she knows she’s got a pretty face (blemishes and all) and she uses those assets in her favor. It was especially useful when she was in the market of scamming and thieving, as it was possible to get away with all the gay crimes by flashing that charm and wit.

Of course, her seduction doesn’t always land. Her response to rejection is less than graceful.

9. Do they know any languages other than Inâl?

Some phrases from the Aeterna, Qyranians, and Kiléans she’s met, but not really fluent in anything. Linguistics isn’t her strong suit.

10. What, if any, aspects of their mother’s culture influenced them growing up?

Not much, since Jade was pretty ignorant of Aeterna culture and beliefs. Her mother always seemed to try to put that part of her past behind her when she had arrived on Nehrim as a refugee. Esme was shocked by how little Jade knew about her own kind.

11. Name a song (or a few) that remind you of them.

Oof, it’s hard to name a few, but I’ve got a whole playlist of songs for my Prophetess. Girl With One Eye by Florence & the Machine has always been my anthem for Jade as a character (she’s based off of a protagonist from one of my old novels/D&D character I played ages ago – more on that here if you’re curious), but it is hard to choose between that and Hated by Life Itself, Again, Arsonist’s Lullabye, and Little Talks as her one song.

Her OG!book iteration also had her own official songs (and In My Mind is still pretty fitting for her when you get down to those lyrics, goddamn), so… there’s that, too (and yes, I find the title of her theme to be hilariously and unintentionally appropriate, considering the “canon” ending I go for her Enderal version).

12. Speaking of songs, can they sing? What is their voice like? How about instruments?

Well, she’s no minstrel, but she doesn’t mind humming a tune or singing a tavern song she learned while on the road. She doesn’t have an ear for drums or flutes, but she enjoys strumming on a lute if she gets her hands on one (which may or may not be a residual character trait from her modern iteration, who was a violinist).

She likes to dance as well, despite the fact that she constantly derides herself for it by claiming she has “two left feet” and is overall a terrible dancer. She kind of is, but she likes it anyway.

...I also just really like dancing mods. They give me life.

13. What was their life like before coming to Enderal?

As indicated in previous answers, she was in a very bad way. A fugitive, runaway slave who had attempted to kill her master after reaching a breaking point, and ended up with a bounty on her head that prevented her from living in one place for too long. She did at some point have a few relationships (the longest one lasting three years), but her issues with trust, commitment, and fear of her own sanity rarely ever kept her around the same people. Her first experience with love didn’t end very well, and she’s had not much more than a series of shallow flings ever since.

I do have a timeline of “life events” that I mapped out that I’m still picking at off and on (and will also be adapted to a new novel series), but an abridged version of her life before Enderal can be described as: A walking natural fucking disaster. She had a bad habit of losing herself in drogae and casual sex as a way of coping with the night terrors in her sleep and her questionable mental state when she was awake. Had it not been for Sirius, she would have sniffed dust into an early grave.

14. How did they decide to leave Nehrim?

She didn’t. Her plan was pretty much to die alone in a gutter somewhere in her war-torn homeland. The only reason she left was because Sirius wanted her to come with him to start a new life.

15. Describe their relationship with Sirius.

Tense at first. They met as slaves, and then ran into each other again as runaways, where they were nearly recaptured by slavers. Their captors wanted to cash in on Jade’s bounty, and as such she was more heavily guarded than Sirius – a situation which the two readily took advantage of.

After that, they ended up sticking together. Sirius thought that she needed a friend, even after all of her efforts to try and keep him at arm’s length, and Jade figured it couldn’t hurt to have someone watch her back sometimes. For whatever reason she couldn’t understand, he never gave up on her; he often tried to make her see herself as someone capable of a lot of good, rather than a total lost cause. It just made his death hit that much harder, as she felt personally responsible (elaborated on more in #36).

Initially, she only told him a little about her past out of necessity, due to him frequently waking her up screaming in her sleep. But as they grew closer and developed a genuine friendship, she began to open up to him more in earnest. They were a dynamic hobo duo for eight years, which is the longest Jade ever stuck by someone, so they went through a lot together during their time on the streets.

16. Who do they blame for what happened to their family?

Herself. It was she who sought help when her father’s abuse had escalated to him finally attempting to drown her in the pond outside their home. She only survived because her mother had finally intervened, only to collapse from her Fever. Jade ran off on her own to get help and found some members from the Creator’s Temple, which only led to them condemning the entire family instead. Her sister died when the Masked Men set fire to their house, while Jade was strung up alongside her mother and father. She escaped with her life, but sustained severe burns in the process that left permanent scars.

The reason as to why the Masked Men executed the family is unclear in the game. For Jade’s story, it was because her father’s downward spiral into insanity led to cannibalism during a particularly poor harvest season, in which food was scarce. He murdered a local half-Qyranian man who he always suspected of being the biological father of his daughters, then forced the family to unknowingly consume him. The Creator’s Temple caught wind when more travelers were disappearing near the farm, confirmed it when they investigated the house, and saw the entire family as “tainted”. Thus, no one was to be spared.

At the end of the day, Jade believes that if she never sought help and somehow had just done things on her own, then her mother and sister would still be alive. Since then, she’s struggled to ask for help and would try to do things on her own that she really shouldn’t.

17. Apart from stowing away, have they ever broken the law?

Oh, she was a literal criminal long before being a stowaway. Even if you don’t count the fact that she’s a runaway slave, she’s wanted for the attempted murder of her master, who was starting to get cozy with some members of the Creator’s Temple. That triggered Jade’s aforementioned breaking point. For about eleven years, she’s been a wanted woman, evading bounty hunters and the law alike.

Asides from that, she’s committed several kinds of theft and fraud in order to get by, as her situation in Nehrim made it very difficult to make an honest living. She didn’t mind stealing food from racists who wouldn’t sell to an Aeterna wench, too.

18. How honest are they? Under what circumstances would they lie?

Funny thing about that. Jade is a natural-born liar, and can easily spin yarns to sidestep the truth. This is likely to come up if ever questioned about her scars, where she’d be quicker to claim she got them by wrestling a bear (which is absolutely not true) than she is to share her life story of child abuse and otherwise unsavory life events.

That isn’t to say she’s incapable of telling the truth. Far from it – Jade speaks her mind on many occasions. Certain times she’d make use of that silver tongue of hers would be if the life of someone she cared about was on the line, or if she kept her mouth shut because she genuinely gave a damn about hurting someone’s feelings. Though she has a long history of self-sabotage, she’s got some people that she’d really like to keep in her life right now.

19. Worst memory(s)? Best memory(s)?

Her worst memory was the night her father tried to kill her. We’ve already covered that in 16, so moving on.

Her best memory was when she first took her sister out into the forest to explore some of the prettier sights of Ostian together, escaping the mess that was their home life. I imagine they had a very close bond and Jade was very protective of her, and wanted them both to have moments where they could just be kids together. They made promises to leave the farm and explore the world together. Obviously did not happen.

20. Fight, or flight?

Flight. More often than not, her first choice is to run from her problems than to confront them.

21. Describe their combat style.

Pre-Enderal, dual-wielding daggers or old-fashioned fisticuffs were always her weapon of choice. And she was not against fighting dirty, such as throwing sand in the eyes of her targets, hitting them in their weak points, or kicking someone while they’re down. She was never a heavy-hitter, and preferred discretion to get the upper hand. If all else failed, she’d just book it and run.

Since her magic awakened, she’s taken to Elementalism as her main weapon, namely shock and frost-based spells (her pyrophobia prevents her from dabbling in anything fire-based). She uses daggers – now enchanted – as backup when her mana is low.

Eventually, she delved pretty deep into Phasmalism. Now she prefers to enlist the help of her ghost pals to deal with the close-quarter battles while she keeps a distance with magic.

22. Have they ever killed before? What is their reaction to combat?

Absolutely. The High Ones didn’t call her a murderer because they were being metaphorical. Her first kill was in self-defense when she was a young urchin child, and killing just got easier and easier the more it was asked and expected of her. For the entire decade she had spent as a slave, she had very little qualms about the occasional murder. Her only boundary was that she never, ever hurt children, and she held those who ever did in contempt. It would be impossible for her not to think of her little sister and live with the consequences.

Of course, all the death opened a whole barrel full of trauma for her. Back then, she was frequently “haunted” by those she killed, and it would take some time for her to elude her own phantasms, or at least make living with them more bearable so that she didn’t have to see or hear them screaming all the time. But since arriving on Enderal, the chaos that were once her thoughts have become eerily quieter. Well, save for the visions she now has. Those are new.

23. How do they react to having magical abilities? Do they use them?

After her magical talent blossomed, Jade went hard for Elementalism (save for fire magic), but she dabbled in spells from some of the other classes as well.

The only school she actively refused to entertain is Light Magic. Too much negative association around it after watching her mother’s health deteriorate to Arcane Fever, due to how much healing was necessary in her childhood. Watching the health of someone she loved rapidly decline like that just had a way of wrecking her with guilt.

Since taking to Phasmalism like a fish to water, Jade tends to employ the help of the dead to make up for her particularly lackluster skills in combat. Yera Shadowsong was her first ghost, who she was quite delighted to meet and keep her company on her travels. Others she enlisted were Kilana Hammerblow, Denna Frostheart, as well as the Starling Navigator and Aeterna Ambassador. Having actually known and witnessed the tragic death of Zar’ah firsthand, Jade ended up relying on her the most in future battles, as well as accompanying alongside her on the road when she had no one else to talk to.

Even if the echoes don’t seem fully cognizant of their existence, it nevertheless became Jade’s mission to try and extend them some degree of freedom and compassion. Whether they understand her or not, she finds herself interacting with them as though they were fully realized, living people, in an effort to try and draw out some sliver of their former selves. It’s a work in progress. Somehow it also makes her feel a little more sane just having sounding boards she can vent to when no one else is around.

24. What do they think of Enderal?

Hated it with the passion of a thousand dying suns. As someone who abhors religion, she had to bite back her heretical opinions whenever anyone spoke of the Paths or the Lightborn. After passing the umpteenth corpse hanging from a tree, and imagining that it would only be a matter of time before one of those corpses would become her own, she started trying to find a way to leave the country altogether.

After a point, she did develop a fondness for the land and some of its people, especially after the Nehrimese invasion led to raids and murdering civilians, which reminded her all too well as to why she left her homeland. She may have conflicting feelings about the country, but the common people sure as hell didn’t deserve that.

25. Did they do the Biggest Egg Hunt Ever quest?

Yup. She didn’t care much for the Starling prophecies, but Kurmai asked nicely. It also helped that he paid her and she needed money.

26. How do they feel about joining the Order? What do they think of Arantheal?

Oh, she hates the Order and everything they stand for. Her first instinct upon meeting Arantheal and learning about the Cycle was to get as far away as possible. This brought her to seek employment with the Golden Sickle so she could afford a ship out of the country and, later on, attempting to convince Dijaam to let Jade join her back to Kilé. It was only when those plans fell through, and her witnessing what the Red Madness had done to Mendelus and other civilians firsthand, did Jade return and ruefully accept Arantheal’s offer.

On that note, it did make certain parts of his speech during her and Calia’s inductions as Keepers extremely awkward by making it sound like she sought the Order out of a sense of purpose and duty – she really didn’t. Hell, she even initially told Firespark that she had no interest whatsoever in what the Order was doing. Overall, she finds Arantheal to be insufferable and too self-important for her liking. She never fully trusted him or agreed with his leadership. To her, he didn’t extend aid to the common folk as nearly as much as he should have, including his refusal to make the death of the Lightborn public knowledge to his people.

27. What is their opinion of the gods (or lack thereof)?

Though not one to preach her beliefs (mostly out of what bit of self-preservation she has, as many would deem her views as blasphemy), Jade has a very strong personal hatred for religion and would be, by all accounts, an atheist. As much of an atheist as one can be in a world where living gods have walked among mortals, that is. If you ask her, there is no afterlife, and there sure as hell ain’t no “Eternal Paths” waiting for her when she dies. When you die, you die. The gods have done nothing for her or her family, and her father even used the name of the “Creator” to justify abuse. And so she felt less than nothing when rumors of the gods’ deaths began to circulate, and she felt satisfaction and vindication upon those rumors being confirmed.

Of course, she knows better than to casually share her ideology in a theocratic country like Enderal, but appreciates engaging with other like-minded individuals, such as those who participated in killing the gods like the Nehrimese mages. While she can get along with religious people well enough, she prefers that they just keep their piety to themselves or at least not try to convert her. It won’t work.

Interestingly, she was surprised by how tolerant and understanding Calia was when it came to her views on religion, as she didn’t once try to argue or invalidate Jade’s experiences. This made her appreciate the other woman that much more and start to develop a closer relationship early on.

28. Wine, or pipe?

Pipe. Always pipe. Since discovering Peaceweed, she’s found that the stuff happens to help her sleep and calm her thoughts, so she smokes pretty much regularly now.

29. Do they spare or arrest Hallys, the farmer-turned-bandit in the quest, Deus Ex Machina? Why?

Against her better judgment, she actually agreed with Calia to have Hallys arrested, namely because she learned that he was initially lying about where he got the money from and that he actually stole it from the Undercity’s food bank, which pissed her right the hell off. While she felt for his situation, it didn’t justify screwing over the poor, who were much worse off than he and his family.

Though finding out that he had been executed at the gallows so soon after made her regret that decision. To her, that wasn’t justice, and it sure as hell didn’t endear her to trust Ark’s Tribunal to handle similar situations afterward.

30. What are their feelings and opinions about the Undercity?

It feels a little too close to home for her, as she often lived in similar piss-poor conditions when she was homeless. Like it shouldn’t exist, but it does, and she understands why and how all too well. From time to time, she’ll hand out coin and food to the children running errands or just looking like they need some help.

31. How do they react to the beggars of Ark?

When she has the coin to spare, she’ll sometimes offer some pennies. And she’ll always pay a kid delivering a message whether they ask for it or not. It wasn’t too long ago that she was in the same boat, and appreciated what little a passing Samaritan could provide. She got that Gift of Charity perk.

32. Where and how do they spend their time when in Ark?

Early on she started visiting the Undercity because she likes mischievous things it felt more familiar to her. Plus she found a small little hiding place tucked away for when she feels the need to abscond from “civilized” society. While down there, she frequented the Dust Pit to watch the fights, not really phased by the brute violence.

On the surface, she spends much of her time in taverns when she has coin to spare or feels like hanging out with Jespar. She also spends time with Calia in the bathing house or hanging out in the courtyard of the Sun Temple in between missions, since Jade became was quickly taken by Calia and wanted to help her open up more, all whilst getting to know the other woman better.

33. What would they do with three wishes?

I did the wishing well quest after finishing Angel and All the Dead Souls, so I imagine the first wish was for Calia not to leave her, the second was for Jespar not to hate her for the shitty things she said back at him. The third was for a sweet new dagger. Guess all three technically came true.

34. How do they feel about death? Do they fear it?

Death is a natural cycle of life. For the last handful of years, she was fully ready to die, anyway, and believed that there was no great afterlife or paradise that would follow. In more recent times, she’s become quite fond of being alive, though she wouldn’t hesitate to sacrifice her life to save the ones she cares about.

35. What (else) do they fear?

As mentioned earlier, she has a profound fear of fire, and actively avoids using flame-based magic despite being very proficient in Elementalism. At most, she’ll use fire-enchanted daggers.

Additionally, she has developed thalassophobia to a degree since being shipwrecked, feeling anxious around large bodies of deep water, and a dislike for swimming. I kinda headcanon that she never even met Nessah/Sister Pride when working with the Rhalâta, let alone took her heart, because it required her to dive underwater for a long period of time, so she had no qualms with bringing a different heart to the First Seer instead (not that Jade would’ve killed her. She found Nessah’s notes, and she wasn’t about to execute a woman clearly suffering from mental illness for a group she didn’t care about). You can also bet that she noped right out of the Brotherhood of the Kor questline as soon as it required a “breathe underwater” spell to delve into a submerged temple. So yeah, she just told Mirella, “Sorry, lady, your son is dead” because it was the most likely truth, anyway. ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

Above all else, however, her greatest fear is insanity – a fear that the High Ones exploit the hell out of by constantly making her question her perception of reality and whether or not this all is just a fever dream of her dying consciousness. It helps very little that she already had a predisposition for madness, never knowing if her “connection with the dead” was real or a byproduct of her trauma. Remembering how her father descended into madness and cannibalism has a way of making her doubt her own sanity.

36. Do they have any secrets?

Quite a few doozies, actually. Prior to coming to Enderal, Jade had an addiction to dangerous drogae. And it was because of this addiction that she ended up in the situation she is in now, a fact that she is all too ashamed to admit to anyone. Even worse, she blames herself for what happened to Sirius because of this fatal flaw. Not only did she have proclivities for blowing whatever scraps of coin she earned to feed her addiction and other bad habits, which could have gone to paying for a ship out of Nehrim, the only reason Sirius chose to stow away with her, rather than sign on to the crew like a right proper lad, was to keep an eye on Jade while she went through the motions of withdrawals. He also stowed away with her to make sure that she didn’t get caught screaming in pain or waking from night terrors.

Similarly, signing onto Rocio’s crew wasn’t an option for Jade in the first place, due to being a runaway slave with a bounty on her head for the attempted murder of her former master. Despite trying to push him into leaving without her, Sirius refused. And now he’s dead. It’s impossible not to feel responsible for that, and for robbing her friend of the second chance at life that he so badly wanted.

Since becoming an Emissary, she’s found that her addiction has been miraculously “cured”, though she still gets uncomfortable around heavy drogae such as Glimmerdust. This resulted in her snapping back at Jespar in the Silver Cloud when she caught him using the stuff. Despite knowing what he was going through, Jespar wasn’t the only one who said very regrettable things that evening.

In addition to substance abuse, she also keeps her history of mental illness to herself, ashamed of what others would think if they knew she might be mad. Much of her prior ticks and instabilities ended up troubling her less and less once she became her “idealized self” on the shores of Enderal, anyway – the voices are dulled, and her mind feels a little more at peace these days.

While part of her felt that she should be grateful not to have to wrestle with her addiction or madness every day, the implications of a sudden recovery after losing her only friend scares her more than anything. For now, she has never shared this secret with anyone, not even her new companions.

37. How is their behavior around people they like? People they dislike?

Jade is very blunt and open about her feelings and has been noted to say whatever’s on her mind by more than one person. This can be for good or for ill depending on who she’s with – if she likes someone, she has no qualms blurting out the things she likes or finds attractive and appealing about them, or telling them what she feels they need to hear. If she doesn’t like them, then she’ll still speak her mind regardless of whether or not it hurts their feelings. She may even come off as abrasive or just downright rude. If her dislike runs deep enough, she won’t want to be in that person’s presence at all.

38. What is their relationship with the companions? Who, if anyone, did your prophet romance?

There were a few she became close to – some more than others.

Jespar: They got along pretty quick, since they shared very similar views on life, the Lightborn, and relationships. Jade has had Romance Gone Wrong in the past and didn’t quite want to see Jespar that way at first, either. It may or may not have helped that she made quite a few passing comments and propositions with him that amused him a bit. I headcanon that they had some FWB-type flings and then just never talked about it again, because Jade has her own hangups on relationships and monogamy. There were some feelings there on both sides, but were never realized until it was too late. (Side note: She decided to give him her own affectionate nicknames, such as “My Lord” because he kept calling her “Fair Lady”, and “Snowberry” because of his hair and he’s a goddamn fruity boy.)

Calia: Conversely, Jade just couldn’t resist and caught the feelings here. She tried to push them down until they died, but she grew more and more fond of her friend as time went by. It helped brighten some of Jade’s more cynical views of the world knowing that people like Calia existed, and wanted to change it for the better. In a sense, the two complimented each other in helping the other learn to enjoy life the way neither of the women allowed themselves to. In the end, she romances Calia, but I like to think they had more in-depth discussions on relationships and where Jade stands with them before they made things official. Due to her own struggles with her sanity and being constantly at war with what darkness lives in her own mind, she related with Calia on a very personal level, which became the foundation for their relationship to grow during and after the game’s main storyline.

Dijaam: Immediate crush, oh no. Jade worked with the Golden Sickle prior to accepting Arantheal’s deal, and maybe in no small part due to her weakness for Kiléans, Jade ended up being very smitten with Dijaam (while also quickly becoming very resentful towards her current employer’s “Path abidingness”, misogyny, and racism). She admired Dijaam’s determination and drive, and even suggested that they leave Enderal together. Too bad the Kiléan pulled the “wham, bam, thank you ma’am” at the end of the day. Oh well. Not the first time that’s happened to Jade. (Dijaam is probably still alive somewhere out there.)

Esme: Like a younger sister. In fact, Jade suspected her sister would’ve been around the same age, and turned out much like Esme if she were still alive. When she first met the fellow Aeterna woman having a hard time at the Frostcliff Tavern, Jade was immediately inclined to lend a hand. The two became closer throughout their search for her former companion, and though Jade feared the worst after a while, she didn’t want Esme to lose hope that she would see Tara alive and well. When the truth came to light, Jade did her best to comfort Esme. Before they parted ways, Esme gifted Jade a family heirloom – an amulet, which she continues to wear thereafter. (I also like to think that Esme was able to find a ship to leave Enderal before the end and is still alive.)

Tharaêl: One of her deepest regrets. To say that their relationship was turbulent would be an understatement. Much as Jade was on board with his cause to kill the Father for experimenting on and murdering innocent children, she grew equally frustrated with Tharaêl’s hypocrisy and uncompromising demeanor. Witnessing his regression to his childhood trauma was also not much unlike episodes she once struggled with, which made her try to empathize with him more. Killing Zar’ah was the straw that broke the camel’s back for her, however, as she did not believe that the mercenary deserved to die and that Tharaêl’s justification for it was bullshit. Still, she resolved to help him kill the Father, who was much worse in her eyes. But, when at that cliff’s edge, she could not bring herself to tell him the right words that could have saved his life. It is a moment that still haunts her long after his death, as she realized some time later that they were not much different. Her silence was his death knell.

39. Was there any non-companion character that they were close to? That they particularly disliked?

There was a quick connection when it came to Merrâyil and the Nehrimese mages, the former due to their shared history as slaves and experiences being Aeterna in a country like Nehrim, and the latter for their shared disdain towards religion and feelings about their homeland. When visiting the Sun Temple, she spent quite a bit of time with the group, particularly pestering Firespark and hanging out with Lishari. She was also deeply affected by Rynéus, as she saw much of her little sister in the boy and wanted so badly to save him. Failing him was like failing her sister all over again.

As for dislikes, she couldn’t stand Maél Dal’Loran, even if she found some of his deeds, such as providing support to the Undercity’s Pest House, to be noble. To Jade, Maél as a person was judgmental, racist, and plain impossible to work for. She ended up resigning from the Golden Sickle after gathering the ingredients he had requested. It doesn’t help that Jade’s first love was a Kiléan woman (not Dijaam), so she was not endeared by his anti-Kiléan sentiments.

40. How do they feel about myrads?

Though flying one for the first time freaked her out, she was immediately enamored with them. They’re majestic, adorable, and worthy of adoration and respect.

41. What dreams or ambitions did they have before coming to Enderal? What about afterwards?

Literally none. Her “dreams” were to crawl into a hole and die somewhere alone, until Sirius had convinced her to try and find a second chance for herself in Enderal.

Afterwards, she decided to just play it by ear. Her wanderlust developed the more she learned about other countries, and she decided she wanted to travel the world someday. Maybe use her newfound Arcanist abilities for good by saving lost souls with her Phasmalism, and figure out a way to rehabilitate the echoes into regaining their sense of self, rather than merely being slaves to the Phasmalist.

42. Do they like cities? Or do they prefer the country? Is there a region of Enderal that they like or dislike more than the others?

Despite always struggling with the noise and chaos of cities before, Jade had to adapt to them at an early age in order to get by. After a point, it just became a necessity, as cities were the easiest places to find places to make money.

She did learn to appreciate them more, to an extent, finding herself people-watching when seeking potential jobs (or marks). But if she could so choose, she would much prefer to live in the countryside.

43. What do they do to lower their considerable stress?

Staring at the underside of a desk until she feels better after a mental breakdown. :)

For real, though, some coping mechanisms are less healthier than others. Some times she’ll blow off steam by practicing her magic, or venting to one of her Phasmalist ghosts (especially Deanna, Kilana, and Zar’ah). Others she’ll get blackout drunk and end up in strange places (or strangers’ beds) she doesn’t remember going. Casual sex sometimes helps, too. Sometimes.

More recently she’s taken to smoking Peaceweed on the regular, which she finds calms her down a good deal. This method is marginally better.

44. Describe their perfect day off.

Dragging Calia out to more social situations, such as playing cards together with Jespar at the tavern (while Jade resists the urge to use her sleight of hand to pull fast ones on the group). In general, she just wants to spend time with her favorite people together. Other than that: Enjoying scenic locations with companions, such as beautiful sunsets, aurora borealis, and peaceful scenes off the beaten path. She absolutely loves Goldenforst. Anytime she can get a hot indoor bath, especially with Calia, is also a good time.

45. List three of their favorite things. Three things they hate?

Loves: Peaceweed, good brandy, animals (she really doesn’t have a particular favorite kind, but she does cry a little inside when a rabid wolf or fox forces her to kill it).

Hates: Cooking meat, swimming, and fire. For obvious reasons.

46. What’s in their pockets?

She gonna pop some tags,

Only got twenty pennies in her pocket–

...

Just a lot of junk, really. Don’t ask how many Endralean sugarbraids she has stuffed in there.

47. Pets? Mounts? Treasured possessions?

Two cats that are more like strays squatting at her house when she first bought it, but she doesn’t mind; she enjoys their company.

She also has a donkey she named Butterstuff and she loves him even if a big Aeterna woman does look kinda silly on a wee donkey.

For treasured possessions, she almost always wears the heirloom Esme gifted her. She might have a bit of a hoarding problem with useless junk, but that amulet is pretty and it means something to her, dammit.

48. How are their cooking skills?

Not good. Most of the stuff she makes is cheap and quick since she could never afford anything fancy before. She can make a decent enough vegetable stew and flatbread, but it doesn’t get more gourmet than that. Either she eats things raw/plain while on the go or she buys much yummier food while passing by vendors (love, love, love those date cakes).

49. Do you consider any particular quest or side quest to be definitive for your prophet? Which one(s) and why?

Other than the big faction ones like the Rhalâta and Golden Sickle: The Voice in the Water is an important quest for Jade, since it kind of explores her (possible) “experience” with the dead by just how natural it felt to be guided by a ghost that she knew wasn’t a product of her insanity. She felt particularly invested in helping to put the spirit of Pentas’ wife, Nira, to rest by seeing the ones who destroyed her life to justice. This quest opened Jade up to the possibility of being able to help people with her new gifts.

A Touching Effigy is also a good one, given that certain elements catered to some of Jade’s distaste for nobles and child killers. Ultimately she sided with Andrasta, because she can forgive killing useless nobles, but not Rhys for killing children in the name of his religion. Though she did (kind of) convince Andrasta to hold off on the murder for a while, mostly so she doesn’t get caught and worry her daughter. Never said Jade’s morals weren’t questionable.

50. How forgiving are they? For example, if they were yelled at in a brothel after searching high and low for this little sh*t, how would they react?

She can forgive well enough if the other party expresses genuine regret for their actions. For example, she easily forgives Jespar because she understood what he was going through, and she was just as much a little shit at the time (and was already tense being around Glimmerdust and a very high, very distressed Jespar). Really, she has a higher tolerance for friends who verbally lash out in the midst of their emotional turmoils, because she gets it – really. Jespar and Calia? Yeah, she got them. If it’s one thing that Sirius taught her, it’s that you don’t give up on friends, not even on their bad days.

There are few things that she just can’t and will never forgive. From her perspective, anyone who has ever hurt a child is the literal scum of the earth. Because of this, she was unable to think of the right words to save Tharaêl, just like how she failed to convince him to spare Qalian because she just couldn’t. And if she had done what Tharaêl had done, she knows that she wouldn’t have been able to live with herself, either. Maybe she could forgive Tharaêl someday, but she could never save him.

51. What do they think of the Veiled Woman?

Initially she really, really hated the Veiled Woman. Hated what she did to Sirius, hated what she did to Esme and Tara, and especially hated that oracular bullshit way of talking in the same vein as the Aged Man.

While she never could fully understand the Veiled Woman, Jade wondered if her motives for doing what she did was because she had some hope to end this particular Cycle. For that reason, and giving humanity a chance, Jade can’t bring herself to completely hate the Veiled Woman, either.

52. If they had been a victim of one of the black stones, how would it have affected them? What would they have used its power to accomplish?

Oh no, a black stone would likely amplify her pre-Enderal (possible) insanity. It would twist her sense of justice for the dead by turning her into a Phasmalist who would abuse the specters she wanted to protect by outright enslaving them, all for the “greater good” when it came to punishing those she deemed evil. Essentially she wouldn’t have been much better off than Adila, except with more actual dead souls at her disposal.

53. What was their reaction to the Black Guardian’s revelations? Do they accept or reject his offer?

Man, she shut the Black Guardian down faster than a speeding ticket. First of all, because she believed he was full of absolute horseshit, such as claiming the High Ones were powerless despite their ability to directly possess others through more than just the Red Madness. Second, she saw through his manipulations, sensing that eons in isolation several leagues under the earth while watching civilizations rise and fall would have various ways of fucking with your head. Like knows like, and Jade has an intimate understanding when it comes to madness. Moreover, she knew a delusion of grandeur when she saw one.

More than anything, though? She had literally zero desire to become a “god” as the Black Guardian had defined it. Due to her hatred for religion and the Lightborn, she refused to become the very thing she so despised. From where she stood, she didn’t even believe there would ever be such a thing as a “humanity with no ego”, as it would be impossible for her to control the hearts and minds of an entire civilization. Even if she could, she wouldn’t want to, since freedom of choice is important to her. In her mind, she thought it was better to give the current human race a chance to learn from the Order’s mistakes and remove the High Ones from the game for good, rather than lead a new civilization down the same path and just repeat the Cycle all over again. The Veiled Woman must’ve seen that there was some worth in this world if she had intervened when she did.

Ultimately it was one of the few times where her “fight” superseded her “flight” instincts. Jade also didn’t act super surprised when the Black Guardian revealed that she had been dead since she woke up in Enderal, because she kind of figured it out already (or suspected that she was just balls-to-the-wall crazy this entire time). She just didn’t know what to make of the whole truth that she was a projection the High Ones created to perpetuate the Cycle – other than to keep fighting it.

54. How does their story end?

Bittersweet. While she consumed the Dreamflower elixir before the end (and didn’t agree with Yuslan’s very random interpretation of the elixir’s effects), her choice still came at a great cost. She lost many friends in the destruction of Enderal, including Jespar. Now she and Calia are on a mission in Qyra to try and save the rest of humanity together.

Since there’s a possibility that Dijaam and Esme are still alive after their questlines, I like to think that they run into each other in Qyra at a certain point... because fate or some shit. The idea of a story where these four women (and the ghost of Zar’ah who totally became Jade’s main backup. Maybe she can finally figure out how to make Phasmal ghosts more “alive” someday) band together to save the world just delights me.

55. Do they change over the course of the story? In what ways?

For sure she does. In the beginning, Jade is a cynical, sarcastic little gremlin who doesn’t trust anyone any farther than she can throw them. She’s the very definition of the Reluctant Hero who doesn’t accept the big main quest immediately, and even tries to run away from her responsibilities the first chance she gets. It also doesn’t help that she was absolutely terrified at first with how her little “ticks” and addiction were just miraculously no longer plaguing her as much anymore, so she was already starting to question her own reality.

As Jade got to learn more about the people on Enderal and form actual friendships throughout her journey, her fondness for this world and desire to save those that live in it grew. While part of her was in the “oh, well, let the world burn” camp, she became that person less and less as time went on.

In Qyra, much about her changes as well. She becomes more driven and serious. Calia had to cut off most of her hair while rescuing her from the rubble of Ark, so not only does her hair stay shorter after that, she also no longer attempts to hide her Aeterna features (such as her ears) like she used to, mostly out of respect for the Jade who died at sea. Rather than slouching to try and appear smaller, she stands tall. The particular “treasure hunter” garb and the blue scarf she wears are little things to honor her memory of Jespar, to whom she had promised she would do her best to save humanity.

But her nightmares become significantly worse, as they are now frequented by a certain “incomplete” High One that takes the form of the Endralean civilization that fell prey to the Cleansing…

56. Anything else you’d like to share about them?

As implied in the last two responses, I had this nightmare fuel concept up my ear not too long ago: What if the Cleansing triggered on Enderal did give birth to an incomplete High One, but now it’s pissed that it never got to finish and is trying to meddle in the efforts to reconstruct the Beacon successfully? The idea of a High One actually consisting of your former allies, including the companion that didn’t survive, is just a brand of horror that I can’t resist… Not to mention really sticks a fork in Yuslan’s theory about the Dreamflower trapping you in an “Elysium where everything seems to go your way” (really, I think he was just trying to dissuade the protagonist from brewing an elixir that would obstruct his plans for revenge. I like to imagine he simply came up with the dream theory on the spot because the flower had “dream” in the name, so it was like the first thing he could think of).

Inevitably, a branch where the Endralean High One is trying to drive Jade into a Mad Prophet would throw a wrench in her and Calia’s efforts to save the world, and they’d have to go through the wringer for their romance to survive. In the end it will, but there’d definitely be some trials and tribulations in which Jade will one day have to open up about her well-guarded secrets. She would also be driven to try and save those who were consumed by the Endralean High One, whatever that may entail.

…I may or may not write an actual fic on this concept someday because I love suffering, but it has been so long since I have ever written a fic so who knows. You’re welcome and I’m sorry.

#jade the prophetess #enderal forgotten stories #enderal #vynblr #word vomit #friend's art #backstory #that hidden jade lore #for all my shitposts jade's story is REALLY messed up #it's ALWAYS been messed up even though it's evolved over the years #i miss her modern day iteration but idk if i'll ever go back to it once i've adapted her into bloodtithes #but yeah she copes with bathos #and weed #and pussy everyday