#and it just makes me feel so shitty | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mysicklove · 4 months

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i am sorry for the lack of fics everyone 😔😔😔

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sentient-forest · 1 year

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#cecilsweep and Welcome to Night Vale trending #1 in 2023

#welcome to night vale #wtnv #ive said it before but people not knowing wtnv makes me feel old #i remember the days before cecil had a canonical last name #so tumblr just gave him the jonathan sims treatment #aka called him cecil baldwin (the voice actor's name)#wtnv will always have a special place in my heart as my first fiction podcast #cecil palmer #cecilsweep #oh to be young and queer and stumble upon a funky little gay podcast about a horiffic and absurd little town #yes i am just reusing my tags from my last post #added a description #glad yall are enjoying my shitty meme #i made it while half-awake and unable to sleep because my tummy hurt :(#follow me for more shitty podcast memes #im currently going feral for malevolent #important note: girlies is gender neutral #tumblr sexyman poll

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muffinthestud · 2 years

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why does splatfest always make me feel like such a shit player

#like im solidly okay usually but theres something about it #where just suddenly i can never win #like ill get 1000+ points and still get my ass kicked!#and it just makes me feel so shitty #dumbmuf

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crybaby-bkg · 9 months

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cw: pregnancy, kids (you guys have a daughter together), fwb’s, angst with a bit of a hopeful ending, refers to you as ‘girl’ once

Friends with benefits Bakugou who never really got over his ego to fully commit to you. You’re a little ashamed to admit it, but when you fell pregnant, you thought that things would change. That the whole “no feelings” aspect would’ve been dropped, that he would’ve embraced you fully.

But he just…didn’t? If anything, he distanced himself away from you, became so formal like you were another coworker he would address. It was heartbreaking, going through your first pregnancy feeling so, so alone, but having to grin and bear it the whole way through.

He supported you though in every way that he could. He never missed an appointment, would trek to your house during late nights whenever you craved something. He even moved you in to his own apartment during your last trimester, but a couple months after your baby was born, you went back home. You never felt unwelcome, but you couldn’t pretend to be a happy family when he slept in the guest room every night.

So now, you coparent quite easily. At least, it seems easy to Bakugou, but really, it’s all a facade.

In all honesty? He thinks he’s a fuck up. An idiot. The stupidest, shittiest person who’s ever existed.

He thought what he was doing was enough, that the words he didn’t say carried across oceans, formulated into titles that he never verbalized. So when you told him you would be happy to coparent, his world felt upended suddenly, as he holds his tiny little baby girl in his arms.

Coparent? How could a couple coparent? Where did he go wrong? (He only slept in the guest room to give you and baby space, only moved you in late because you lived so far away and you were getting so big. He never said I love you because he was too embarrassed to say it out loud. He didn’t know he had to say it out loud to solidify it. He thought you just knew.)

So it’s why his heart breaks when he catches a glimpse of curly blond hair and red eyes in the grocery store. He tries to duck behind an aisle, but his baby would recognize him anywhere. (It’s true; you’ve sent many videos of her recognizing him on billboards and tv commercials and magazines.)

“Bakugou?” You call, ducking around the corner to catch a glimpse of him. He tries to act nonchalant like he’s looking at cans of soup, tries not to cringe at your formal name. He turns when you come into view, eyes drinking in your attire. His heart breaks a little when he recognizes the shirt you took in your second trimester, still has the pic you sent him of you grinning as you show off what you stole.

“Hey.” Bakugou greets gruffly, mouth pulled tight, but it cracks into a grin when his daughter starts squealing. She’s in the front part of the shopping cart, twisting her little chunky body to get out and get to him. She damn near screams when he sets his basket down to pick her up, rubbing his nose to hers.

“How ya doing, squirt?” He asks quietly, pecking at her chubby cheeks as she instantly starts babbling to him. He holds her close to his chest, eyes full of pure love for his baby girl, and it makes your heart squeeze so tight you think it might burst.

“This isn’t your neck of the woods.” You mutter, head tilting to the side as you take in your daughters excited face to see her father. Bakugou’s eyes snap to your own, letting his daughter play with his fingers in the meanwhile. He looks embarrassed, cheeks a dusty pink as he grumbles and looks away.

“I was just picking up some stuff to drop off for her. Was gonna text you and see if you were home,” he replies, and something tells you that it’s a lie. But you don’t pester him about it, just nod a few times, taking in the sight.

He looks so good like that, in his compression shirt and sweats, his hair mussed from your daughters incessant pulling. He’s grinning at her, but looks so bashful when he turns to you, like he’s thinking about things he knows he shouldn’t, like he has a boatload to say but can’t cough up.

And if you were a mind reader, you’d be so fucking right. He can’t help but reminisce on before you got pregnant, the nights spent with you. The day you told him you were having a girl, the tears you cried when you delivered her. He thinks, filled with so much guilt the entire time, that he wants another one. With you.

“‘S it okay if I walk my favorite girls home?” He asks you gruffly, nibbling on your daughters cheeks to hear her giggle again, uncaring of the drool she leaves on his hand. You feel your eyes widen at his term for you, face suddenly flushing. Favorite? You, his favorite?

Something tells you that you shouldn’t fall down the rabbit hole that is Bakugou Katsuki and his suppressed emotions and shitty ego. But there’s another something that tells you to trust it this time, to let things happen organically and without expectation. So you do.

“I’m sure she would love to show her daddy the new toy her grandma just brought her.” You tell him, giggling when he rolls his eyes at the mention of his mother. But he walks with you the entire time you finish up your grocery order, holding your daughter the whole time and pays for your groceries despite repeatedly telling him that he doesn’t have to.

He pushes her in the stroller stored underneath the shopping cart on the way home, making small conversation. And when you’re halfway home, does he reach for your hand. Only to cross the cross walk though, he tells himself, only for your protection. But he doesn’t let go until you’re in your own place, and even then, he’s close by the entire time. He helps you put away groceries, remembers where everything is like he lives here.

And for some reason, the familiarity makes your heart ache a little more than you would like it to.

#full of sadness tonight srry #but I’m obsessed with this idea actually #I wanna expand on it even more in a fic #I don’t like to write angst for him but this idea is just :(#he’s so shitty at communicating his feelings and you hate assuming things #so many things are just left unsaid for so long that you just force yourself to get over it and move on #and he’s so confused and so angry that you could leave him like that #but he never had you in the first place now did he?#ohh it makes me wanna sob #obviously in the end you get back together and have 98 more kids 🙄#but the journey along the way is RUFF #okay I’m done writing my wrist hurts lol #bakugou treats! 🍬#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#dad bkg

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uncanny-tranny · 7 months

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I know other adults like to joke about how much pain they're in, but genuinely, please try to get your pain checked out if you're an adult experiencing it, or at least adapt your life in whatever way lessens your pain.

Your pain deserves to be addressed. Please don't "let" it get worse because you've been told that to grow older is to suffer. No, you aren't being needy or selfish or annoying. Ultimately, you are the one who suffers the most from the state of your health, and it's entirely reasonable to want your health to be up to your standards.

#disability #chronic pain #it's actually not normal to feel scared to sneeze for fear of making your pain worse (calling myself out)#i dunno i guess maybe i'm just ~too young~ an adult but i'm already tired of the jokes about pain 😮‍💨#i've been at this pain going on decades now so i guess that's what's gotten me kind of sensitive lol #like... it's just shitty to be told that 'its gonna get SO much worse so don't even TRY' as an adult with pain #basically when you're a kid you're too young but if you're an adult well... that's just what you get so suck it tf up #i'm going back to playing video games so that i may live in the comforting realm of fantasy (Much Less Pain Universe)#(trying to be grateful that my body is Very invested in telling me that it needs to be handled gently but it's hard)#talking so much about this just to continuously make sure that people don't do what i did in the past

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doodleodds · 1 year

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Happy Valentines, Akira. Happy Valentines, Asshole.

If you can’t read what Akechi’s secondary inner-dialogue says cause I obscured it too much behind his regular dialogue, here’s a transcription in panel order: Hello, you fucking- Ah- Hello, Akira! Fuck off, why should I tell you- Just a soda- there’s a new flavor.

I don’t want your shitty gift. Oh- haha! You’re so sweet.

I hope I choke. They’re lovely, thank you.

Like hell. Likewise. There’s no way it’s just a coincidence. Still though, it’s a funny coincidence.

#p5 #akeshu #akechi goro #kurusu akira #wow- me?? posting a valentines comic... actually on?? valentines????? wack. absolutely wack #it's a short one! I purposefully tried to keep it short. it was a challenge and it still ended up being 3 pages. but i blame my canvas size #also in case u can't see what akira is holding out to akechi: theyre chocolate covered strawberries on sticks!#i saw them irl and was like oh god i want those. i am going to project that feeling on my favorite characters so help me god #and now! here we are! but my shitty-ass coloring & line quality make it hard to discern them so. sorry about that lmaooooo #ANYWAY i don't do enough post-maruki stuff so. i made this one a little bittersweet. :)#why did i put akechi's scarf in a bow? honestly i dont know! i think i saw some art a while ago that did that too and i thought it was cute #well. plus i guess there's the symbolism of 'akechi being alive and reciprocating your feelings (however involuntarily) IS a gift' part #hence that hes wrapped up in a bow. like a present. :)#also god. the first panel is supposed to be akechi's reflection in a vending machine window. I could NOT get it to look right #so for reference!!! just so you guys understand!!!!!! thats what that panel is supposed to be!!! he is NOT in fact a ghost. (sigh)#hope you enjoyed and had a lovely valentines!! for my part i have eaten nothing but sweets today and hoo boy will that have been a mistake #ALSO in terms of the audience-participation comic...hopefully coming soon. if i can ever gain the will to draw it.#but at least tumblr has polls now so i can do the audience-choose-y bit without needing to use a separate website! so thats good i guess #anyway anyway anway thanks for listening to me ramble if you made it this far! have a lovely rest of your day and hopefully see u again soon

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rollercoasterwords · 2 years

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hey guys btw there is actually never a good reason to loudly and publicly talk about how much u dislike a fanfic!! Like. let's break this down for a sec:

i don't like it

ok, understandable. i've dnf'd lots of fics because i didn't like them. but the people writing fanfiction are doing it for free and for fun, and you don't know anything about their lives. they could be a young writer just starting out! they could be an older writer getting back into writing after years of being unable to! they could be someone going through a rough patch whose only source of joy right now is writing their silly little stories! talking about how much you dislike a fanfic literally does nothing except hurt the person writing it. that's it. it is not productive, it is not necessary. even strangers on the internet deserve basic human empathy.

ok but i really don't like it

babe, i feel u! i'm a hater too. rant about it privately. shit on it in private messages or group chats with friends. u can dislike something without dragging its creator into the town square to throw tomatoes at them, yknow?

ok but i really don't like it AND it's popular

ok? shouting about that on the internet doesn't make you cool or special or unique. it just makes you kind of mean and, honestly, bitter. like i said before, this is fanfiction. nobody is paying for it. nobody is profiting. there is no standard that these writers are obligated to meet. clearly, other people like the work. why not let them enjoy it in peace?

no u don't understand it doesn't deserve to be popular there are better fics that deserve it more!!!

talk about those fics then!! post about how much u love them!! uplift those writers!! ur tweet or tiktok or tumblr post is not going to suddenly make a popular fic lose all popularity, no matter how undeserving u perceive it to be. if this is actually coming from a place of frustration because you feel like there are other fics that deserve more attention, then just give those fics attention.

no but it's problematic

mmm ok. let's sit with this one for a second. i want you to ask yourself--is it really, really problematic? is it perpetuating harm against a marginalized group? remember, this is fanfic; it is outside the consumer economy, and the stories it tells will almost never make it to a mainstream audience. so is the story actually hurting people, or is the author just exploring something that you're uncomfortable with? because if you're just uncomfortable, then assuming the work is tagged properly, the best course of action is to just click away. as uncomfortable as it may be, people are allowed to write stories that you might find upsetting or gross or weird, and those stories existing is not inherently harmful in and of itself.

it is actively reinforcing harmful stereotypes/rhetoric/etc

okay! ok. if you are deeply concerned because you feel that this fic is genuinely harmful, then go to the writer. leave a comment. send them a message on tumblr or twitter or tiktok or wherever. explain your situation and see what they say! nine times out of ten, i'd bet that an ao3 writer means no harm and would be willing to listen and address your concerns. in fact, they might even be grateful to you for being kind enough to make them aware of a problem and educate them on it. every ao3 writer i've ever spoken to is an incredibly kind and thoughtful person; you don't need to immediately go on the attack

the writer is unreachable/nonresponsive/not willing to address or change the problematic thing

alright. if you truly feel that this fanfiction is actively harmful and can't reach any kind of conclusion with the writer, and you want to warn others who might read the fic, then do that. do that. make a post that says hey guys btw, x thing in this fic is not a good representation/perpetuates a harmful stereotype/whatever the problem is. and leave it at that! you don't need to go further and insult the writing or the person who wrote it. that is helpful to exactly no one, and if your goal is actually to make the world a better place, then you should learn how to draw attention to an issue in a way that encourages actual dialogue instead of dog-piling and personal attacks.

anyway the next time you feel the desire to post about how bad you think a fic is, feel free to use this as a guide before u do! xoxo

#like i genuinely don't understand u guys sometimes #why do i keep seeing posts w hundreds or sometimes even thousands of likes #that are literally saying nothing except #i think this fic is bad and i don't like it #if someone was making cookies and handing them out for free and u didn't like them #would u go stand next to that person and shout about how shitty their baking skills are??#or would u just move tf on!!#bc they are doing something nice for free!!#and if u don't want to eat it u don't have to!!#like if u post abt disliking fics u are literally just mean #im sorry but u are just mean #and not even in a fun way #i love talking shit i love hating on things!!#i do it in PRIVATE #in PRIVATE!!!#where it's fun for me but i know it won't hurt anyone's feelings unnecessarily!!#some of u guys treat fanfiction like a product to consume and it's NOT #it's a gift!#it's a piece of art that someone is giving u!#so for the love of god stop thinking like a fucking little capitalist consumer for a moment and think like a human being w empathy!!#ranting and raving #txt

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volatilechemicalz · 3 months

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idk the worst thing about tumblr (or just social media in general . I've just only used tumblr) is that your funny text posts that randomly popped into your head will get SIGNIFICANTLY more interaction than anything that you create whether it's illustration or writing or anything else it will always be like that and it doesn't make sense to me because it takes the same amount of effort to look at a funny post and reblog/share it as it does to look at any form of art that you like and reblog/share it . my top text post has over 1,000 notes and my top art post has a little over 100 because it was fanart for a blogger with a high following and that always fucks me up . Every single time I post art it'll get a few notes here and there but my text posts always get more . Always . There's even a better reblog/like ratio . literally what the fuck . Why is it worth it to reblog something funny but not something that took hours upon hours of effort and dedication. "Art is subjective ‼️>:[" so is humor . What's your point . Reblog shit that you like im so fucking tired of this

#noodle talks #not art #sorry im just pissed and tired #🌱#well im not sorry actually #fuck that #rant #i guess #i dont usually get mad on here but this has been making me feel so shitty lately

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gracebethartacc · 3 months

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soooo I had a lore idea earlier that ties into the rewrite really well,,,,,,

Poor unfortunate souls am I right :)

#The plothole of the citizens questioning him about the wishes and said questions never actually getting answered by the plot drives me nuts #And I was thinking about it and this idea hit me like a truck—#1: It explains why he makes them forget about their wishes 2: it explains why there’s only one per person 3: explains the emotional drain #And 4: helps play into the dark magic/lying stuff further #Plus is just a cool idea/twist I think :3€#Literally just had the idea today tho so I’d love any ideas #I def think it’ll tie into the dark magic stuff like they give him power or something? Idk #I do know he can only do magic with his staff and not directly so maybe something to do with that ? Like the staff gets it’s magical energy #Or whatever from the energy of the souls? I’m not sure..#like I said I’d love anyone to help brainstorm further with this concept :)#rewrite the stars au #Wish au #Excuse the book looking shitty lol I didn’t feel like writing out the text myself 😭

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butcharium · 6 months

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Gym updates:

° I am actually..... enjoying this..? Especially strength training makes me happy! I've had the complete sicko sequence of thought and actions being "wow I feel so shitty today maybe I should work out that will help" - then actually gone to the gym - and it works

° I'd still rather eat glass than do running for any extended period of time tho, running does NOT spark joy for me

° I signed up with a PT, we actually work really well together and I feel like she gets me AND she's a fellow pcos girlie!! (Well that's actually maybe why she gets me)

° some of you might remember back in January (?) I met an older butch4butch couple at the gym and womaned up enough to ask for help with bench press! Well I've met them again!!! We randomly met at a market and they invited me to sit down with them and have a coffee!!!! And it was really nice!!! They also told me what days they go to HIT&strength classes at the gym but the one time I've been able to fit it into my own schedule neither of them were there and also I hated the class rip. Sometimes I do pass one or both on my way in and out of the gym tho which is always nice!

° I listen to the original Sherlock Holmes stories on audiobook, and keep this as a treat reserved for the gym. Now I only have a few short stories left! I loved these stories as a kid and would rummage through flea markets to find translations. Now I listen in English and they're just really funny and interesting and have made working out more enjoyable! Idk what to do when I finish tho. I guess I'll have to stop going to the gym or maybe just start from the top again.

° the sauna is currently out of order which is making the dip into the small cold pool after workout slightly less enjoyable. But I've been promised that it shall be back and running by next week (not true the other times I've been told this) but I hope that's the case bc I Love the Sauna, and I enjoy that there's a space where you can just be naked and introverted with strangers (or on your own).

° net positive in my life! I think it is contributing to my being a bit more up-beat and energized, or at least less tired, in my day to day life. I am one who needs structures, but I struggle with implementing them, and the gym has actually been one of the few things I've been able to keep up, and it helps me structure my week!

°EDIT: how could I forget?? My knees are doing much better!!!

(I still appreciate any tips any of you would have regarding the gym or exercises or experiences etc!!)

#i am realmy happy and satisfied!#today i went to the one class i enjoy!#also regarding experiencing that working out actually helps me feel better on shitty days that actually didnt use to be the case during the #previous 5 years ive tried periodically to work out at the gym and it was the same gym and many of the same exercises even but i just think #baseline well being was so bad that the ebdorpins from working out just werent enough to make a proper difference #but now my baseline is a lot better so i feel like for once im able to reap the benefits of working out #musings

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ecoqueer · 2 years

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I wish that people gave a shit about nonbinary people who don’t use they/them pronouns. You can literally give your friend group (which includes another nonbinary person) a list of your favorite pronouns, none of which include they/them, and mention several times that you don’t like they/them pronouns for yourself, but they’ll make the switch from she/her pronouns to…they/them. And feel super proud of themselves for being sooo progressive as to use they/them pronouns for you….when those aren’t your pronouns.

I think that saying “he she and they are my least favorite but are fine in combination with other things…I’m really fine with any neos but here’s a list of my faves that you can choose from!” Is polite and not a difficult request. I’m not good at being a pushy person, and I shouldn’t need to be.

#it screams #i guess I’ll pull the lists out again and re-link them #but the aforementioned friends view messages from me as a chore and check them rarely so when they do they’ve built up and so just skim #everything #which I’m fucking tired of #I’ve been going back and forth on whether it’s better to have no friends or a few friends who make you feel shitty #dunno which is worse #they also are extremely cavalier with covid while knowing I have no health insurance #and have supported some statements/actions that really make me sad #so idk I might be basically friendless at this point #i hold on for too long to people who have clearly moved on and don’t much care about being my friend anymore #I’ve tried reaching out a few times to no avail so idk I might just give up #try to cultivate online relationships more #which feels pretty impossible to me #sigh #I’ve been not able to sleep well #because of issues in my life with…all of the few people in it #issues that could be solved if I had kept a wider support network #instead of getting trapped with someone who was abusing me and my friends who don’t seem to give a shit about that and expressed more #concern for him than for me when the news was revealed to them #again I don’t have health insurance so no therapist #which I fucking desperately need right now #i have no one separate to talk to #the one who knows all of the different factors from all of the angles…is the abuser #i feel like I’m in so much fucking pain and I feel so alone and all of the people in my life who are supposed to be my loved ones #are standing around me ignoring me completely and acting like everything is okay #just causing me more and more pain #well this didn’t start out intended as a vent but it sure turned into one huh #i wish I could convey to y’all the desperation and loneliness and aching that I feel #vent

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angel-ghoul444 · 2 days

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⛥ the boy with the demon blood ౨♱ৎ

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luck-of-the-drawings · 1 year

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ouhh ouhh the ol 'started as a scribble n then got RLY COOL' conundrum... i titled it 'flying microtonal FISH' bc i was listening to alot of THIS song (ANOXIA - KING GIZZARD AND THE LIZARD WIZARD. LISTEN TO IT) and i based the colors off of the album cover. this was also meant to be the scene right before the noctis arc, when gillion gets CRAAZy struck by lightning and acts all deranged through the storm. LOOOVE that fish i think he should kill more

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #lightning is soooo fun to make ehehehee #this is OOOllldd like maybe a few months but uhh wait hang on ill just get the date offa twitter #OKAYy it was jan 8. thats not too old #either way i remember strugglin alot to get this to look right. hence the 'started as a scribble'#like i think the actual sketch of gillions face was rotting in my wips for aaaages until i finally did somethin with it #it feels good to do smth like this with a wip!! its like giving a shitty lil dog a good home #AARUAUHGH I JUST LOOKED AT IT AGIAN N GOT MAD. DO U KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO MAKE HIS LIL BACK FIIINNS #i dont give him a tail but i give him the back fins n its SOOO vital to me its so cool in my brain but so hard to make it real #i think i did it pretty good here but you shall know i climbed a MOUNTAIN FOR IT RRRAAHGHHHH #ALRight thats all of me thoughts love u guys baaaiii

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hajihiko · 2 years

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every time I come across Content that isnt my own I get the thoughts and thinks. Too tired to do anything about it except this ig

#Coming to terms with the fact that I can share shitty dumb doodles and tag them even and it's not a crime #I'm not quite Ants In My Brain levels but the brains are scattered rn.#Anyway I love a relationship that is unlabeled and unknowable but gosh damn it is sincere and devoted #I was thinking of that 19 days bit. 'you're the strongest most badass little mo' or sth #ANYWAY! Not confident enough to tag this w my art tag so #Fuyuhiko kuzuryu #Hajime hinata #Kuzuhina #Attempting to go full ramble in the tags after the actual posting bc I just got shit to say I guess #Not valuable shit but shit nonetheless #They're good for each other they build each other up. Fuyuhiko was putting so much faith in Hajime from the get-go #Hajime is like dont give me too much credit no I dont wanna think about my talents. And Hiko is like nah man you're great (in his own way)#And Hajime encourages so much growth in Hiko which is WHY I think Hiko is so passionate in his loyalty #Hajime makes Fuyuhiko smile and laugh and reflect on his behaviour and talk about his experiences #They laugh TOGETHER in the middle of the killing game which is v sweet #Fuyuhiko is DESPERATE to prove that he's changed and that he wants to do good now and Hajime is just like 'okay you got it'#Like thassit. And then when they find out Hajime wasnt a talent student Fuyuhiko is like 'oh ok'#They accept each other very readily and they trust each other so much and idk maybe my brain is broken but #I FEEL like I feel a sincerity in their friendship #Like it's for life man they're already making plans for the future when they're friends (hiko especially)#Yeah I guess I'll save these tags. Idk I'm a little Ill of the Brain rn

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franky-y · 6 months

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wait no hold on

i just found out that apparently after the concert in Munich Häärijä proudly showed my drawing of Chelsea to the people waiting at the tour bus??!!

and i just...

what the fuck

i wanna cry 😭

PLEASE LET ME GO BACK AND HUG THIS MAN SOME MORE OMG 😭😭😭💛💛💛

#AND HERE I WAS STRESSING IF HE EVEN WANTED THIS DRAWING BECAUSE I SECOND GUESS EVERYTHING I DO #AND HE GOES AND DOES THIS I CAN'T 😭#i mean i already calmed down about him possibly not wanting this drawing after seeing the story he posted but still #i love this guy so much please 😭💛 💛 💛#sorry i'll stop being annoying #but all of this just makes me so happy #and i really needed this after feeling so incredibly shitty during the last few months #häärijä #käärijä

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thatlittleegyptologist · 5 months

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Given the number of times I've cried already today I think I might just have to write the rest of it off and try again tomorrow (which I won't be able to do because it's Will time).

#I'm in for a really shitty next few days and idk how to make myself feel better about things when every slight thing sets me off #I'm just venting so don't mind me

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