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jchampionsgf · 4 months

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Cock warming Friday

Word count: 1298

Pairings: ethan Landry x fem!reader

Warnings: smut!, dirty talking, cock warming

Trope: enemies to lovers

A/N: idk about this one, I’ve been a little insecure to write smut lately but I hope you like it :)

every friday ethan, anika, you and the core four would have a movie night, mostly it was for shits and giggles and ya'll never actualy payed attention to the movie. The majority of the group would just want to spend time together or eat pizza, but you? you just wanted to annoy the shit out of ethan landry. ethan was such a jerk, you absolutely dispysed him, making the fact that you wanted his cock in your mouth extremetly more annoying, you tried to deny it and let it asside but you just couldn't anymore, ethan was hot. like if your type became to life hot. but you hated ethan, and ethan hated you, so there was no point in trying, your ego wasn't worth that douchebag.

friday came around and like always, sam would bring pizza, i would bring coke and chad and ethan would lend their dorm. you were getting ready when your phone rung a text message from the group chat. "danny agreed to come to movie night, i hope that's ok with ya'll" sam texted. "the sofa is gonna be full tonight" you said to yourself. "hey, are you ready to go?" tara, my roommate said. "yeah i think so, i wonder what horror movie we will watch tonight, we are almost running out of them" you said, chuckling "well you know mindy, she's got a insanetly huge list." tara said, opening the door to our dorm. chad and ethan's dorm wasn't that far away, you just had to go a few floors up by stairs. "oh and chad said that ethan broke a couch earlier today so there's gonna be less space." tara said, while you two got up the metal stairs. this is what you meant when you said ethan was annoying, he probaby didn't even think of the consequences before busting that couch, he probably did it on purpose, you said to yourself. the truth was, you were absolutely correct, ethan would do absolutely anything to get closer to you, he even convinced sam to bring danny, the guy she'd been eye fucking since they got there. "so an extra person minus one couch? nice" you said, sarcasticly. when you two reached ethan and chad's dorm almost everyone was already there, mindy was choosing in detail the movie you were going to be watching while anika was sitting in her lap. chad was making more popcorn, sam and danny were at the verge of making out in the sofa and of course ethan. he gave you a disgusted look and you sarcasticly smiled in response. "oh hey guys!" chad said, with his mouth full of popcorn, he lifted up from his seat and gave you both a hug, you saw ethan looking away annoyed when chad hugged you. "mindy is just choosing the movie but, come get comfortable" chad said, motioning us to go seat in the couch. chad sat with tara and i choose a more isolated part of the couch, away from ethan. a few minutes into the movie when by and everyone started to get comfortable, except ethan of course, he just had to tell everyone to move. because of that, you had to get out of your seat. it was all going as ethan had planned. you got up and had the horrible realisation that, sam was in danny's lap, tara was in chad's, anika was in mindy's, meaning the only spot available was of course, on ethan's lap. "you've got to be kidding me." you said, insanely annoyed."come on Y/N i won't bite." he said, almost teasingly. "there's no way im sitting there" i said pointing to ethan's lap "i don't know Y/N you might like it" tara said winking at you, knowing you absolutely hated ethan. "move out of the way im trying to watch the fucking movie! just sit on ethan's lap, its not that deep" said mindy, clearly drunk. "fine" you said, having enough of the argument. you seat at ethan's lap uncomfortably, you wer for sure going to get made fun of over this. you sat on the edge of ethan's lap, at his knees. it didn't take long before you were grabbed by your waist by ethan's hands, pulling you closer to him. you were now sitting directly at his lap, your pussy covered by your soaking wet panties ached for touch, you whimpered silently, but loud enough for ethan's ears to hear, he smirked at the tought of the sound he were going to hear if he fucked you, how you would whimper in his ear only for him to hear. "some of us are trying to watch the movie" ethan whispered in your ear, sending electric waves all the way to your pussy. you rolled your eyes in response.

the movie was long gone by now, so were the group. everyone was sleeping or passed out, only you and ethan weren't. before completely passing out, mindy turned the air conditioner to the max volume, making you shiver. "are you cold?" ethan said, porpusedly whispering in your ear, he knew the effect that had on you."im fine" you said, half annoyed and the other half wishing he would kiss you. ethan grabbed a blanket from anika's lap, covering you both. "i said i was fine" you said turning to face him. "who said the blanket is for warming you up?" ethan said grabbing you into a heated kiss. you were now straddling his lap facing you, he pulled you closer to him. "i hate you" you whispered while making out, "so you're saying your not wet?" ethan whispered, you couldn't answer it, because it was true, you were wet. you started to move your hips in desperate need of friction. ethan placed his hand on your soaking wet panties, to confirm his superstition. "dirty, dirty girl, being all wet for your enemies dick." ethan said teasing you, after seeing that you were in fact wet. "i better give you what you want, right pretty girl?" he said, you could only nod. "take that fucking panties and skirt off" ethan ordered you, you followed his order, pulling your skirt up and taking your panties off. he slowly puled his pants and boxers down touching and rubbing your aching clit on purpose along the way. you lined your pussy with his cock lowering you down. slowly you got used to his size. you expected him to be big but he was way bigger than you'd ever expected. after you got used to his size you started to go up and down on his cock. ethan trowed his head back, the feeling of your tight pussy squeezing the life out of him was just too mush for him. ethan noticed that chad had awoken, and he was watching you two, for a while as it seemed by the look of his face. "atta boy" chad mouthed to him. "you tell anyone about this your dead, you hear me? now let me fuck the girl ive been fantasying for months, would you?" ethan mouthed back. "yeah, yeah" chad mouthed, drifting off to sleep shortly after. you started whimpering softly, just as ethan imagined you'd do. after a while you got tired, it was almost 4 am at this point. "ethan please move for me, i need you" you said, after resting on his cock. "for sure you don't hate me now huh?" he said, moving his hips making you jump. "begging for your enemies cock" ethan said, only making you hornier "im cumming" you said, at the verge of an orgasm "cum on my fucking cock slut" he said, you moaned his name releasing yourself. "do you really hate me?" he said "well your cock is inside me so..." you said, bitting your lip.

#ethan landry #ethan landry smut #jack champion smut #jack champion #loren campbell

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demolition-lovers-blog · 2 years

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I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing.

Harry Styles x Y/N

Eventual smut , fluff maybe angst??? Idk

Part 1 Harry meets the daughter of his idol Steven Tyler, and he has never been happier to have his car break down.

*A/N My mom passed away and this is the first time I’ve decided to write again. I just wasn’t in the mood but I think I’m ready to start again and I wanted to get something out because it has been so long since I posted. So here is part 1 I hope you like it 😈

Harry was just shaking his head, he only wanted to run to the studio to pick up his journal that he left behind. He realized while just reaching the end of his street that he forgot his phone. Harry convinced himself he would be fine deciding not to go back for it.

So here he was car just died on him in LA, right in front of the gates that home owner would need to use if they were coming or going. Feeling half pissed that a $300,000 car just died for no reason and half for having to buzz the homeowner and look up at the security camera and kindly beg to please use their phone because he himself was a fucking wanker.

A amused voice comes over the speaker “ you British boys always driving on the wrong side of the road. I’ll have someone let you in.” Harry smiled an thanked the voice. He was a little surprised that the person knew who he was. Harry decided to check over his car real quick while he waits. He can’t help thinking that the voice was familiar to him.

As Harry is leaning over grabbing his keys when he hears the gates start to open. “Welcome Mr. Styles it looks like you have gone the wrong direction.” Laughing at his own dad joke while Harry is frozen in place eyes wide as saucers standing almost in front of him was his idol, a fucking rock god. His car broke down in front of Steven Tyler’s house. The lead singer of Aerosmith, the best rock band that ever was.

Steven laughed “You coming Prince Harry?” Harry snapped out of it and caught up and walked sided by side with his hero into the house.

“Harry, my guy can look at your car if your not in a rush, stay for dinner, have a few drinks. My daughter should be home from college shorty and then we’ll eat. Till then let’s have a few fucking drinks.” He said as he threw his arm over Harry’s shoulder and as they walked off to the bar room.

It wasn’t as easy as everyone might think to be Steven Tyler’s daughter, 22 almost 23 years of having him as a father she thinks if she was lucky maybe he was around a total of 6 maybe 7 of them all combined, between the touring and the extreme drug use he wasn’t always the best or most available dad. She loved him though, she loved her dad the most out of anyone on the planet and he felt the same he had a lot of kids but there was no denying y/n was his angel. They both loved the time they had together now, y/n was living with him, he was totally off drugs and only did special appearances so they made up for a lot of lost time and loved every minute of it.

So when she’s leaving class and her phone rings a wide smile breaks out on her face when she sees it’s her dad. “Hey dad.” Y/n can practically hear his smile through the phone. “Hey angel, are you about to head home?” Y/n chuckled “Wow, this is new you usually don’t call to see if I’m headed home right after class.Something up?” “No, nothing serious I just wanted to let you know to pull in around the back of house tonight, some assholes car stalled in front of our gate and I’m not sure it will be moved by the time you get here.” She chocked back a laugh” Ok I get it cars breakdown, but how do you know the person driving it is an asshole.” “Trust me angel when you’ve been around as long as I have you know an asshole when you see one.” Steven tried to keep a straight face as Harry looked over at him with shock on his face. He just smiled at Harry then being pulled back to his phone call by your voice which he now had on speaker. “Your a terrible person, I’ll see you in about 20 minutes.” The 2 could hear her laughing as she hung up.

Steven gave Harry a drink. “By the way Prince Harry I don’t think your an asshole I just like to mess with y/n. She’s my favorite. I know your not supposed to have a favorite child but I do, I’d deny it in front of the others but they would probably be the first to tell you. She is just so different.” He sat back and a soft smile coming to his face as he thought of his daughter. “She never judged me, or held it against me for not being around very much while she was growing up. She didn’t want me to get her a modeling contract or get her a roll in a movie, she just wanted to be my daughter and only thing she asked of me was to be her dad.” He sighs. “Ok enough of that fucking mushy bullshit. So tell me about yourself young prince.”

As y/n comes walking in the back door she hears her dad talking and laughing with someone. She knows it could be absolutely anyone, walking in to find find Jonny Depp, Jon Bon Jovi, Mick Jagger, you name it so celebrities didn’t rally fascinate her the way they did everyone else, it was a pretty common around her house. What she wasn’t prepared for was to see Harry Styles sitting at the bar with her dad. She slid into the kitchen before they noticed her. Y/n wasn’t a big One Direction fan they were ok but she wasn’t crazy like most of the girls she knew were for them. On the other hand she wasn’t blind the man hanging out with her dad was gorgeous, she has seen his videos, but in person he looked almost ethereal.

Y/n snaps herself out of it, he is just like everyone else, this shouldn’t effect her, she almost laughed out loud at herself how she almost just had a star struck moment, she groans internally thinking how bad her dad would make fun of her if he knew. Pushing those thoughts out of her head she walks back into the hall to entire the room, they are still laughing which makes her smile when she fully walks in. Y/n loves to she her dad laugh and enjoy life.

Hearing the footsteps they both turn to her. “There’s my girl,” he smiles widely holding his arms wide open for her to walk straight into. She always loved her dads hugs he had a way of making her feel safe and loved just simply by wrapping his arms around her and kissing the top of her head. “Prince Harry I’d like you to meet my daughter y/n.” Steven said proudly with one arm slung around his daughters shoulders. Harry stands quickly extending his hand to her. “Nice to meet you y/n.” She smiled at him excepting his hand to shake “Nice to meet you, Harry, I hope your not offended if I don’t use your royal title, seems so formal.” She smirked, Harry laughed “I don’t see that being a problem.” His smile wide. “I’m guessing your the asshole who’s car broke down?” She asked with a smirk, “Guilty, that asshole would be me.” They both broke out in laughter, it is then y/n realizes they are still shaking hands. Her cheeks heat up a little as she takes her hand back and gives him a shy smile.

Steven watches as his daughter gets a small shy smile that she quickly fixes, maybe the young Brit”s car breaking down just might have been fate for these 2 to meet. Ok ok he knows he can be a big dork sometimes but hey he’s spent his whole life taking risks and chances and he is convinced there is definitely some fate mixed in there to.

#harry styles smut #harry styles #harry #harry styles dirty fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry style smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfction #harry styles fic #harry styles imagines #harry x y/n #harry x reader #harry x you #harry styles fluff

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flowerkidlxrry · 3 years

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I Like Me Better - Rafe Cameron

Author’s Note:

This was requested by @bugmanor and idk what’s wrong cause I can’t tag her :( I hope you like it! 💖

Warning: contains fluff, talking, drinking

Summary: The reader and her friend meet topper and rafe at the golf course and the instantly click but she’s very timid and shy so rafe helps her come out of her shell.

Song: I Like Me Better - Lauv

Masterlist

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Midnight into morning coffee

Burning through the hours talking

It was 4pm and we were bored, so me and y/bffs/n went to the golf course to play since it’s been a long time since we last played golf. Our dads met when they were young and became friends ever since. Our family just moved in outer banks and she’s the only person that I know. We rode the golf cart and all the stations were filled. She apparently saw an old friend and decided we should meet them. Two guys same as our age called y/bffs/n and we approached them. She introduced them to me.

Topper is a little bit smaller than Rafe. Rafe was taller and bigger, body-wise. We decided to play with them since there are no available stations left. I see that y/bffs/n is closer to Topper than Rafe, and I don’t want him to be left behind so I tried to have a conversation with him but failed.

“Uh Rafe, so how old are you?” I asked shyly.

“18, same as Topper and y/bffs/n. How bout you?”he said.

“same.” as I fidget with my golf club.

He noticed how uncomfortable I was so he excused us to Topper and y/bffs/n to go to the lounge area. I followed him and we sat down and he ordered coffee.

“How many sugar?” he asked.

I held up my fingers and said 2. He nodded and added 2 packets of sugar to my coffee.

“I’m sorry, i’m not just used to being around other people, and we’re new here, y/bffs/n is the only person I know in this town.” I said.

“It’s fine, no need to say sorry. Well, now we can be friends so that when y/bffs/n is not available, you have me.” he answered.

I smiled and took a sip of my coffee and just stared at the beautiful field outside.

A few moments later Topper and my best friend went inside and told us that they were leaving. I mean, I know what that means it’s just, I feel sorry for Rafe being stuck with me.

I looked at him and he nods to Topper. I sat there waiting for them to leave, I sighed and took a sip of my coffee.

“I know this isn’t your plan, but let’s just enjoy each other’s company and i’ll drive you home, or do you want to go home?” he asked.

“I want to go home.” I answered.

He paid our bill and we walked out of the lounge. I hopped inside his truck and told him the directions to my house. When we reached to our house, he walked me to our front porch, I looked at him and said thank you.

I was about to go inside when I heard my parents fighting, I looked back and saw Rafe going back to his car.

“Hey Rafe! wait up!” I said as I jogged back to his truck.

“Can I join you? It’s just, I don’t feel like going home just yet.” I said.

“It’s fine, c’mon hop in.” he opens the door for me.

The sun is almost out and we drove to a deli and went inside to get food. We got sandwiches, chips, beer, and drinks. We paid and went to sit in the back of his truck.

I was a quiet person, I am shy, I get anxiety talking to people, but with Rafe I feel calm. It’s like coming out of a shell, it felt nice to be around him. I like myself better when I’m around him.

We sat at the back of his truck and we ate our food. We were talking, telling stories to each other when we realized it was already 10PM. I asked him if he wanted to go home since I can just stay in a coffee shop or something, but he insisted to join me.

We drove down to the beach and we went to the shore and just sat there talking until we fell asleep. I woke up and saw the sun is almost up, I felt Rafe’s body next to mine under the blanket from his truck. I moved a little bit and it woke him up. He looked at me and yawned, I smiled and we stood up and went back to his truck, and he drove me home.

I knew from the first time, I'd stay for a long time 'cause

I like me better when I’m with you

We’ve been hanging out for almost everyday this past few weeks now, and I’ve become a different person. Even y/bffs/n notices it too, oh and by the way, her and Topper started dating. We already knew it would happen, I don’t mind and she deserves to be happy. We all went to Topper’s yatch and stayed 3 days there, the first night, Me and Rafe couldn’t sleep over the noises coming from their bedroom, so we just stay at the hot tub, on the other side of the yatch to avoid hearing them.

We would watch a movie, play games, swim on the lake but mostly drink and look at the stars. We’ve grown pretty close and it feels like we’ve known each other our whole lives. We told each other secrets, past, traumas, and he really means the world to me.

I might get to too much talking

I might have to tell you something

The last night on the boat, we were drinking and playing around and my best friend and Topper headed inside the room. I asked Rafe if he’s tired, he said no. We decided to sit on the beach chairs and just look at the stars. I can feel Rafe looking at me as I watch the stars.

Stay here with me

Lay here with me

I looked at him and leaned closer to kiss him. He was shocked but he kissed back. His hands was holding my face, we pulled away I smiled and said “I like me better when I’m with you.”

He kissed me back and we both went to the hot tub to spend the rest of the night together.

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Hi! I’m sorry if this is short :( I hope I got your request right, thank you for your request ❤️❤️

Check out my Masterlist

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taetaespeaches · 3 years

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“I could never want less of you.”

hoseok x reader (or oc) genre: angst; fluff word count: 3.3K

a/n: Ok, I’m giggling because this was supposed to be much angstier than what it turned out to be lmao. But like, it’s Hobi and Petal, they just work shit out, idk lol. Anyways, these two are taking a big step in their relationship and it brings out some stress and insecurities and it leads to an argument that is really patched up very quickly lol. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading! :))

SITTING at the kitchen island, you scrolled through the photos displayed on your laptop screen of a seemingly perfect apartment that was currently available. The location was conveniently placed in close proximity to both yours and Hoseok’s workplaces, the apartment was stunning, and the building was safe and secure. It appeared to be exactly what you and your boyfriend were looking for.

It was a month ago when you and Hoseok decided you should move in together. He practically already lived at your place anyway, you loved having each other around, and you absolutely planned on spending the rest of your lives together. Finding a new place together felt right.

Bookmarking the page, you wrote down the realtor’s name and number and noted a few details about the living space. Clicking onto another apartment, tapping your pen on the notebook, your front door opened, the sound drawing your eyes to see Hoseok kicking his shoes off before meeting your gaze.

“Hey, Petal,” he gave you a small smile, his eyes darting to your hand that was tapping the pen repeatedly.

“Hi, Sunshine,” you grinned before turning back to the screen to pull up the perfect apartment once again. “Guess what I found,” you said excitedly, Hoseok humming as he approached you. As he peered over your shoulder at the screen, you gestured to the laptop with a playful, “ta-da!”

“Oh, an apartment?” He questioned.

“I really like it, look,” you started, Hoseok already losing focus as he took a step away from you.

“Petal, I just got home,” he pointed out, you turning to look at him, inspecting his features. Your heart dropped at the apprehension displayed in his expression. Throughout the past week, your boyfriend had been acting less and less interested in apartment hunting, and you were beginning to take it personally.

When you and Hoseok first decided to move in together, he was the one who suggested it, stating that he couldn’t wait to have a shared space with you.

Lying in bed together, your nude forms pressed together in a post-sex cuddle, you dragged your finger across his chest as he soothed his knuckles up and down the curve of your hip.

“I missed you,” he spoke softly into the moonlit room, the illumination pouring in through the bedroom window.

“Did you miss me or my bedroom skills?” You teased, Hobi chuckling as his hand moved to tickle your side, you squirming against him until you rolled on top of him, resting your chin on his chest. “I missed you too,” you admitted before bringing your finger to his nose, tapping it gently with a “boop”.

“Your apartment is too far from the studio and dorm when the schedule is packed,” he complained with a slight whine. He had been upset all week that he hadn’t been able to see you due to your hectic new job and his demanding idol schedule with a comeback in the works. “Six days is too long,” he added.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get to the dorm to visit,” you apologized, the man instantly shaking his head.

“No, our places are just too far apart,” he pointed out. “I couldn’t get over here either.”

With your eyes raking over his face, you huffed. “My apartment is too far from everything now,” you thought aloud. “It was good for university but now my job is closer to where you’re at and it just doesn’t really make sense to be living clear out here.”

“Are you thinking of moving?” He asked, his eyes widened.

“I don’t know,” you pondered. “Maybe?”

Your boyfriend nodded slowly, watching you carefully. Inspecting his expression, you knew there was something on his mind. “What is it?” You questioned him, the man smiling in response at being caught in thought.

“Well,” he started nervously, you staring at him curiously. “You’re thinking of moving,” he added, you humming in confirmation, “and well, I’ve been thinking of my life with you. Our future,” he clarified.

“Hobi,” you realized, making him smile wider.

“Would you want to move in together, Petal?” He asked, you holding back your smile as you stared at him.

“You’re not just suggesting this because I might want to move, are you?” You asked, Hobi quickly shaking his head. “Because this is a big decision, it can’t just be made out of convenience,” you added, your boyfriend chuckling as he tried to cut in. “Like we need to actually want this,” you continued, Hoseok smiling even wider.

Calling your name to get your attention, you stopped talking to appreciate the grin spread across his face. “I actually want this, Petal,” he assured you. “I’ve wanted it, I plan on spending my life with you, I obviously want to live with you.”

The words circled your mind for a moment before a smile broke out on your face. “I want this too,” you agreed easily. “Of course I do,” you added, more telling yourself than him. “I hate not having you here in the evening,” you realized suddenly.

“So, yes? Are we moving in together in?” He asked for clarification, you scrunching your nose at him, the man letting out a cute scream in excitement, you laughing in amusement of him. “Omg, you have champagne in the kitchen,” he realized, gently rolling you off him as he ran out of the bedroom butt ass naked to retrieve the celebratory drink, only to return a second later.

“Did you forget something?” You asked through your giggles, the man nodding.

“This,” he said just before kissing you hard and passionately, pouring every ounce of love he had for you into the action. The champagne could wait.

However, as time went on, Hoseok seemed to become anti-enthusiastic about the very real apartment hunt, and it made you worry he only liked the idea in theory. When put into action, he seemed to be changing his mind.

When you turned back to the screen, Hoseok sighed, noticing your dejection. “Ok, show me,” he started, moving closer to you as you shook your head, minimizing the tab as you pulled up your email, shifting focus as you continued tapping your pen against the notebook. “Petal,” he called out.

“No,” you said simply, not wanting to get into the fight that was inevitably on its way.

“Will you please just show me the apartment?” He asked, an annoyance in his tone. Scoffing at him, you continued tapping the pen against the notebook, Hoseok focusing in on the steady rhythm as you scrolled through the pointless junk emails. “Stop tapping that,” he suddenly spoke, you dropping the pen as you pushed your stool away from the counter.

Standing, you began to walk away, pushing past Hoseok only for him to reach for your hand. You let him take it, turning to look him in the eye.

“I don’t want you to look at the apartment because you feel like you have to, I want you to look at it because you want to, because you’re excited about living together, because-”

“I am excited,” he insisted, you rolling your eyes as you pulled your hand from his. “What?”

“Do you think I’m stupid? You’ve acted bothered every time I’ve brought up apartments to you for the past week,” you pointed out, Hoseok huffing as he watched you walk further into the kitchen. “Is it me?”

“What? No. Is what you?” He asked in concern and confusion, you staring at him as your heart pounded in your chest.

“Do you not want to live with me? Is that why you’re not excited?” You asked, holding back the emotions that were bubbling to the surface.

“I do want to live with you, there is not a single bit of truth in that entire thought process, so stop,” he told you firmly, you shrugging. “I’m just tired,” he defended his recent lack of interest, you shaking your head.

“Don’t blame whatever is happening on tiredness, I know you better than that,” you informed him, the man looking at you guiltily. “You went from being really enthusiastic about the whole process and loving every apartment to nitpicking the apartments over small things to completely avoiding looking at the apartments at all,” you continued. “Something is happening.”

The man simply stared at you for a moment, you biting your bottom lip as you tried conceal the tears that were quickly working their way to the surface. Instead of speaking, he looked to the laptop, placing his fingers on the track pad.

“Don’t,” you told him, closing the laptop, Hoseok moving his hand out of the way just before you shut it completely. “What is going on?” You asked him desperately, the tears pricking your eyes as they gathered along your bottom lash line. Sighing, he looked down at the pen. “Hoseok.”

“The pen tapping,” he whispered, you glaring at him in confusion.

“What?”

Looking up to meet your gaze, he noticed the tears, his face dropping at the realization that you were nearly crying because of him. “You tap your pen whenever you’re focusing on something,” he said, furthering your confusion.

“Ok?” You questioned. “So you don’t want to live with me because I tap my pen?” You asked, the man letting out a huff of air as he shook his head, you wiping your face with the back of your hand.

“No,” he spoke in a fragile voice. “I love when you do it. It’s cute and it’s how I know you’ve lost yourself in thought.” His own emotions began taking over as he tightened his jaw.

“What the fuck is happening, what are you saying?” You questioned in frustration, not understanding the point he was attempting to make.

“People say that the small things you love about a person sometimes become the stuff that drive a wedge between you,” he explained, you staring at him in disbelief.

“Seriously?” You questioned, your boyfriend scoffing at your judgmental tone.

“Just forget it,” he dismissed, turning his face away from you to wipe his eyes.

“No, let me get this straight,” you continued, Hoseok looking back at you with a glare. “You think our relationship is so fragile that being locked in a shared living space with me as I’m tapping my pen will be the ruination of us?” You asked him coldly. “That’s what you’re saying?”

“Jesus christ,” he complained, waving you off. “What I’m saying is that I’m scared,” he admitted. “It’s a big change and I’m scared that all the weird little things about me that you love now are going to end up being the things you hate.”

A small sob escaped your lips at the realization that he wasn’t concerned about him falling out of love with you, but rather you losing feelings for him. “Hoseok, do you understand how much I love you?”

“Yes,” he told you as a tear slid down his cheek. “But I also know how fiercely independent you are and I’m worried that with too much time with me, you’ll realize you want less of me,” he told you, revealing the insecurities he had been hiding away.

“But that’s so ridiculous,” you told him, the man shrugging. “Hoseok-” you started just as your phone rang, cutting you off. Your boyfriend looked at the device that sat next to your laptop.

“It’s your work,” he told you, you sighing.

“It can wait,” you told him, Hoseok shaking his head. “No, we’re not done,” you added, your boyfriend holding the phone out to you.

“The job is new, you need to answer this,” he told you, you shaking your head stubbornly. Pressing answer for you, he gestured to the phone, you huffing and cocking your head at him, taking the phone and bringing it to your ear. Sniffling, you greeted your coworker on the other side of the call.

Hoseok walked out of the kitchen, your eyes following his every step, you listening intently as he moved about the apartment. When the shower started, you tried to focus on the call, taking the opportunity to take care of your work while he was occupied. However, you couldn’t care less about the work issue when you knew your boyfriend, who was just feet away, was so scared of you losing feelings for him. Hoseok and his worries consumed every corner of your mind, making you resort to hums and one-word answers to the fellow employee on the phone.

By the time he stepped out of the shower and entered the bedroom, your work call had ended, you instead sitting back at the island as you looked through the photos of the perfect apartment over and over. How could he not know that you’ve pictured your future with the man since your first date? Your love wasn’t so frail that your feelings would just simply go away.

You not so patiently awaited his return to the kitchen to continue the previous discussion, but he never appeared. After about five minutes, you picked the laptop up and made your way to the bedroom, quietly peeking your head inside to find Hoseok underneath he covers in bed, his back turned to the door.

Despite the tension and the leftover frustration, the concern and hurt, you felt nothing but relief in that moment. Watching as his body rose up and down slightly in accordance to the inhales and exhales that entered and left his sleeping frame, you were just thankful that he was there. You always wanted him there.

Stepping into the room, you placed the laptop on your bedside table before crawling under the sheets, and turning toward your lover. You could only see the side of his face, but he looked peaceful as he slept. You were with him. Through all of it, whatever may come. And the knowledge that he questioned that was enough to elicit tears as you draped your arm around his waist, holding yourself tightly to him as you rested your cheek against his shoulder blade, matching the air that entered and left his lungs as he breathed in and out.

The man stirred at your touch, his hand finding yours that rested at the center of his abdomen, his larger one enclosing over yours.

“I don’t know how to assure you, but I’m just so happy you’re here right now,” you told him through your tears, the man immediately turning in your embrace to face you at the sound of your emotions.

“Petal,” he frowned, you hugging him tightly as you buried your face in his chest.

“I love you so much, I need you to feel it,” you cried to him, your boyfriend pressing his lips to the top of your head comfortingly.

“I do,” he promised. “It’s just a big step, I got overwhelmed.”

“I don’t always express myself as much as I should, but I need you to understand that my love for you is the most sincere and intense mix of emotions I’ve ever had the pleasure of feeling and I don’t ever plan on letting you go,” you told him in a surprise verbal confession that neither of you expected to leave your lips. “I love you, Jung Hoseok,” you told him, lifting your face from his chest to look him in the eye, no shame, no embarrassment present. “Thank you for being here,” you told him genuinely. “I always want you here.”

The man leaned his head toward you to press a sweet kiss to your forehead, you leaning into the touch. “I know that,” he whispered against your skin. “I do, I promise I do,” he assured you. “And I don’t want to be anywhere else than right here right now.” You sighed in relief, Hobi’s lips curving into a smile against your head. “Except maybe in our shared apartment,” he added, you giggling lightly at the comment.

“I know it’s overwhelming,” you told him. “I’m nervous for it too, but I’m sure of us.” Hoseok’s smiling lips pressed a few more kisses to your forehead quickly before he pulled away to look at you.

“I am too,” he nodded.

“Good,” you told him with a small smile. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“I’m glad you did,” he chuckled.

Inspecting his sleepy features, you brought your hand to his face to run your finger along his cheek purposelessly. “How tired are you?” You asked.

“Why do you ask?” He questioned back, smiling fondly at your smirk.

“Can I show you the apartment?” You asked in a hopeful tone, Hoseok’s grin widening as he sat up quickly, nodding happily.

“Please, I really want to see it,” he told you, you wiggling in excitement before sitting up with him and reaching for the laptop.

“Ok, it’s located perfectly between your studio and my office, and it has a small little deck area, and the floors are hardwood, and omg it has a bathtub,” you ranted on, pulling the computer onto your lap. “Oh and wait until you see this fucking closet it’s mass-” you were cut off by Hoseok placing a finger to your chin, turning you toward him to immediately place his lips to yours, you easily kissing him back.

Your lips worked flawlessly against one another’s, his soft and warm as always. Pulling away from you, he beamed in utter adoration, you grinning shyly. “I really cannot wait to live with you,” he told you.

“Me too,” you agreed simply, back to your short words with big meaning. “And I could never want less of you,” you told him, the man’s gaze softening at your assurance. “Plus,” you added, intriguing your boyfriend. “If I ever get sick of you, I’ll just tell BigHit to send you on a worldwide tour,” you teased, Hoseok playfully scoffing in feigned disbelief.

“You’re so mean,” he joked, kissing your cheek repeatedly, you giggling at the action.

“You’re so obnoxious,” you retorted happily.

“I know,” he grinned, pecking your lips softly. “Now show me this thing,” he told you, gesturing to the laptop.

“Ok,” you turned to the screen, clicking on the first image. “We could have a little garden here,” you told him, “and oh my god, look, we could put a little bed here for Mickey so he can bask in the sun.”

As you went through the photos excitedly, explaining your vision to him, he could see everything vividly. Waking up and walking into the kitchen to see you dancing around to music as the coffee brewed. Cuddling on the couch with you as you both attempted to watch yet another horror movie, only getting five minutes in before you both called it quits, turning on an animated film instead. On the rare days he got home before you, he would cook you dinner at that stovetop and when you came in and greeted him gratefully, you’d sit at the kitchen island and you’d tell each other about your days. On lazy Sundays, he could see you sitting on the deck area reading a book, Mickey in your lap as you read aloud to the little pup.

Every room, every space, he could see your lives happening.

“Can you call the realtor in the morning?” He suddenly asked as you explained the specifications of the apartment.

“You want me to?” You asked, looking toward him, meeting his smile with your own.

“I love it,” he told you, you scrunching your nose before discarding the laptop to the bottom of the bed, promptly crawling onto your boyfriend’s lap as you kissed all around his face in excitement and happiness.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” you repeated between kisses, the man giggling as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“I love you so much, Petal,” he replied. “I love our life.”

He truly did. And he loved your future. No matter what it brought, he already loved it. Because it was yours, together.

266 notes · View notes

lucinations · 4 years

Text

you – Vivianne Miedema x Reader

prompt: You know maybe a fluff angst imagine ? (Viv ofc)

a/n: okay this is sort of angsty? idk I’m rubbish at angst but here ya’ll go this took forever to write there are SO MANY EMOTIONS

“Come on girls, my grandmother can run faster than that,” joked our coach, Joe, as I ran to intercept a ball for what felt like the 50th time.

“That’s some fit grandma,” I grumbled under my breath, passing it to Daan, and there was a breathless chuckle to my left.

“Bloody hate running,” Viv grumbled, and I nodded. There was a sharp whistle sound and the players stopped running.

“Alright girls, blue team wins. See you all tomorrow, bright and early for game day,” Joe called, and we stopped running, slowly making our way over to the bench for a drink.

“You alright?” Viv asked me as I panted, reaching for my kitbag.

“Give me a sec,” I said, reaching into the side pocket, pulling out my inhaler and giving it a shake. I took a deep puff, holding my breath.

“That bad huh?” Viv asked, and I nodded, smiling as much as I could with my mouth closed.

Slowly, after a sec I let out my breath.

“You’ve done that a lot lately,” Viv said, raising an eyebrow, “You sure you’re alright?”

“Fine,” I said, dropping the inhaler back into my bag and ignoring her worried glance, “Stop worrying, mum,”

She gave me an unimpressed look. “Excuse me for caring about you,”

I smiled slightly at that, feeling my stomach make a few giddying flips.

“Wow? Is that genuine affection in your voice?” I asked sarcastically, “Didn’t know you were capable of that,”

There was laughter from the other girls, and Viv shook her head, leaning over the kitbag to punch me on the shoulder.

As the rest of the group filed towards the changing room and I followed suit, she sidled up to me.

“I was going to ask,” she said, falling into step next to me, “Did you want to come over this weekend? Lisa’s going up to Scotland to visit her parents, and I want someone to yell at the TV with when football is on,”

I had to fight the urge to smile as my heart thumped in my chest.

“Er. . .I was actually headed into London for a shop and dinner on Saturday,”

“Oh. . .dinner? You got a hot date or something?” she joked, and I smiled.

“Nah, just by myself,” I said, and she raised her eyebrows.

“You go to dinner by yourself?” she asked me, and I nodded.

“Sure,” I said, shrugging, “Not always someone available when I want fish and chips,”

“Look no further,” she said, “You mind if I tag along?” she asked, and I raised my eyebrows, surprised as we went into the changing room.

“I mean. . . sure, yeah,” I said, smiling.

“I’ll pick you up? We both know you can’t drive in London to save your life,” she said with a laugh, and I frowned as I stuffed the remainder of my clothes into my kitbag.

“Sounds good,” I said, trying to keep the excitement out of my voice, “Malin? Let’s go? See you later, guys,”

There was a chorus of ‘Byes’ as I stepped out of the changing room, bag slung over my shoulder and a smile spread over my face, followed by Malin. Since we lived so close to each other, we tended to carpool to trainings and games. My heart felt like it had grown wings that were violently fluttering in my chest, and the more I thought about the fact I’d be spending the majority of my weekend with Viv, the more my stomach did giddy flips.

“Be careful,” Malin said from next to me.

“Hm?” I asked, pulled out of my daydream.

“With Viv, I mean,” she said, as we stepped out of the compound and walked towards the car park.

“What do you mean?” I asked with a frown, fishing around for my keys.

“She’s already got someone, Y/N” she said, “Don’t let yourself fall into that trap,”

“What are you talking about?” I asked with a chuckle, unlocking the car and opening the driver’s side door while Malin went around to sit in the passenger’s seat.

“I see the way you look at her, Y/N. I might be new to this team, but I’m not blind. How long have you been in love with her?”

since I met her for the first time last year. 1 year, 20 days, 7 hours and 30 minutes.

“In love?” I asked incredulously, starting the car, “You’re kidding, right?”

“I’m not,” Malin said seriously, “You talk about her all the time, and the smile you get on your face when she talks to you Y/N. . .”

She gave me a pitiful look, and I could feel the dread filling me up like a rising tide as we drove.

I let out a sigh. “Is it that obvious?”

“No,” Malin admitted, “But I’ve come to know you pretty well, and I’m pretty observant. So, how long?”

“Long enough,” I said with another sigh, “I’m pretty sick of it if I’m honest,”

“I can imagine,” Malin said, “You’re only hurting yourself though, you know, by hanging around her,”

“Can’t exactly avoid her,” I said, and Malin raised her eyebrows.

“Maybe not, but I don’t think spending your weekend with her is a good idea,” she said, and I bit my lip. I knew she was right.

The truth was, I couldn’t stay away from Viv. I liked her so much it hurt, and watching her love someone else was equally painful, but so far I had consoled myself with the time spent as her friend.

“I’ll be okay. I just have to wait it out, it’ll pass,” I said, and Malin sighed.

“I hope, for your sake, that you’re right,”

* * * * * *

I hated being wrong.

2 years, 120 days, 14 hours and 20 minutes

“Y/N?” Viv’s voice snapped me out of my daydream, “Are you even listening to me?”

“Hm?” I asked, and she smiled as our eyes met.

“Who are you daydreaming about? You’re like a lovesick puppy lately,” she asked me.

You, my brain said.

“No one,” I replied, as the sounds of the restaurant returned to me. We had gone out for dinner with Malin and Lisa, and the four of us were sitting in our favorite sushi restaurant in SoHo.

Liar, my brain snorted.

“Fine fine, if you won’t tell me I’ll just have to find out on my own,” she said cheekily.

I love you, my brain screamed.

“Please don’t,” I told her semi-seriously, reaching for another piece of sushi.

“We actually invited you both to dinner to tell you something. . .” Lisa said, and Viv smiled so broadly it basically covered half her face.

“What?” I said with a chuckle, and when I looked up from my plate of sushi, Viv was holding out her hand across the table.

There, barely a meter from my face, sitting, glittering on Viv’s finger as if it was taunting me, was an engagement ring.

“Oh my god!” Malin said with an incredulous laugh, as Lisa laughed at the shocked expression on her face, “Congratulations guys,”

I could feel Viv’s eyes on my face, and I looked up to meet her eye. She looked expectant, eyes sparkling with excitement and happiness. Malin glanced over at me worriedly.

It felt like somebody had punched me in the face as my breath left me.

“Y/N! Say something!” Viv said with an anxious chuckle, and I had to shake myself out of my shock.

“Gosh. . .” I said, breathlessly, “Wow. . .guys, congratulations!” I managed to bring out, and Viv smiled brightly, chuckling.

“You froze there for second,” she said, and I gave her a watery smile.

“Yeah,” I said, with a weak chuckle.

“I was going to ask you to be my best man. . .well, best woman,” Viv said, and the fist that was closing around my heart tightened.

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

Malin’s hand squeezed mine under the table.

“I. . .yeah, gosh. . .of course!” I brought out, and my voice was trembling, making Viv frown lightly.

“So when are you planning it for?” Malin asked Lisa, and their conversation fell away as my vision tunnelled. Viv leaned over the table with concern in her eyes.

“Hey, you alright?” she asked, and I nodded. I could feel the tears filling my eyes as I avoided Viv’s gaze.

I desperately tried to control my breath and my facial expressions as my emotions threatened to burst out of me.

“Yeah. . .just hot in here, isn’t it. . .just a sec–”

The sound of my chair grating backwards interrupted my stuttering, and I stood up.

I didn’t even glance back as I headed straight for the bathroom, my heart thumping in my chest and the blood rushing deafeningly in my ears.

I barely made it to the stall and locked the door before the tears spilled from my eyes and my body started to shake with sobs. It felt like every neuron in my body had been set on fire, as white-hot tendrils of pain coursed from my chest, my heart, to the rest of my body. I put a hand on my heaving chest as I started to sob, tears rolling down my cheeks.

She’s engaged.

The words thumped through my brain, like a siren at full volume in my head.

A knock at the stall door made me jump, as I struggled to bring in breaths.

“Y/N?” came Malin’s distinct accent, and I unlocked the door, swinging it open to reveal me sitting on the upturned toilet seat, face red and puffy and wet with tears.

She pulled me up and crushed me into a hug, and a renewed bout of tears steamed down my face.

“I can’t watch her marry someone else, Mal, I just can’t,” I said in between sobs.

“Then don’t,” Malin said quietly, holding me tight.

When we pulled away, I nodded, taking a deep breath and wiping the tears off my face.

“You’re right,”

* * * * *

“Do you think I should wear a suit? I mean, we could both wear a dress but I’m not sure I want the whole hassle of wearing one. . . .what do you think?”

I was sat at Viv and Lisa’s dinner table, staring down at the wedding catalogue open in front of me on the table. I wasn’t looking at it really, and I had tuned out Viv’s question.

“Hello? Earth to Y/N? Are you even listening to me?” Viv’s voice shook me out of my daze, and I looked up at her, eyes focusing on her. She was standing on the opposite side of the islands, hands on her hips and giving me a chastising look. She was wearing her favorite pair of grey sweatpants and plain white t-shirt. Her hair was up in her usual bun, the one I loved so much on her.

It physically hurt to look at her.

“Hm? A dress? Not very you, is it?” I said, and she frowned.

“Yeah. . .What’s wrong? You’ve been off since the restaurant two weeks ago,” she asked, “You’ve been failing me in your best woman duties,” she joked.

Tell her.

“I’m alright Viv,” I assured her, and she raised an eyebrow at me.

“You’re still my best friend Y/N, I know when you’re fibbing,” she replied, “Are you okay?”

No.

“No,” I said with a sigh, closing the magazine in front of me. The smiling bride on the cover taunted me.

“Okay. . . Want to tell what’s going on?” she asked, taking a few steps towards me and sitting down on the barstool to my left, so she was facing me.

“I–“

My throat felt like it was closing up. I couldn’t do this, I couldn’t tell her.

You have to.

“Hey,” she said softly, seeing the anxiety in my face and putting a hand on my knee, “Whatever it is, Y/N, you can tell me,”

The sudden contact startled me, and I stood up from the chair, putting some distance between me and her.

“I can’t come to your wedding,” I said hastily, going to stand on the opposite sideof the kitchen island and Viv frowned.

“What?” she asked, stunned, “Why not? Are you busy that day?”

“No–”

“ ‘Cause we could always find a way to–”

“I can’t come to your wedding because I’m in love with you,”

The words were out of my mouth before I could even stop them. It felt like they had been sitting at the back of my throat for a long time, waiting impatiently for the moment they could tumble out. I could feel my heart thumping threefold in my chest, could hear the blood roaring in my ears and the anticipation running through my veins.

The expression on Viv’s face was the equivalent of someone that had just been punched in the face.

“I– What? ” she asked, and the shock in her voice wasn’t hard to miss.

I looked straight at her.

“I have been in love with you for the past 2 years and–”, I steeled myself with another breath. “–I can’t watch you marry someone else, Vivianne, I just can’t,”

When Viv said nothing, I went on.

“It would break me, into a million pieces, and–” I said, my voice catching in my throat as tears welled up in my eyes, “–and I don’t think–. . . I don’t think anybody could put me back together again,”

The silence that followed was deafening. We looked at each other, her blue eyes staring into mine.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, hoarsely.

“I couldn’t,” I said sadly, “You were with someone and we both know neither of us are that kind of person,”

“You didn’t even give us a chance,” she said quietly. Her eyes were swimming with tears. “You didn’t even think about the possibility that we could be–”

“Be what?” I asked her, shaking my head, “Lisa makes you so happy, Viv, I see it every day. You are my best friend, and your happiness was so important to me,”

“And what about yours?” Viv said, standing up, “We could’ve been happy, could’ve been something–. . .but you didn’t even try, you. . . you gave up before it even started,”

I gave her a sad smile. “It’s okay, Viv–”

“No, it isn’t!” she shouted, taking several steps forward, and I was startled by the pain in her voice, “You are so important to me, don’t you understand that? I love you, for god’s sake and I–, I can’t lose you,”

Another silence. Her words sunk in, and several tears fell down my face.

“I’m sorry,” I told her, “I really am, but I can’t do this. I can’t be around you right now,”

She sniffed, wiping tears from her face. “I understand,”

Then, in two strides, she was standing in front of me, and she pulled me into a hug. She had done it so many times before, but the emotion in this one made my heart clench. I drank her in, her smell, he warmth, the way her arms felt wrapped around me, holding me. When we pulled away from each other, one of her hands grabbed mine, and we stood facing each other. Her face was inches from mine, breath fanning my face.

“Viv. . .” I said, a she leaned forward.

“Shush,” she said, before her lips met mine.

She kissed me and the world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be, her hand resting below my ear, thumb caressing my cheek.

When she pulled away, it felt like taking a breath of fresh air. I took a step back, my lips still tingling and the salty taste of tears lingering.

“I really hope you’re happy Viv,” I said sadly, and she smiled through a renewed bout of tears, “I’ll see you around, yeah?”

She nodded, and with a a last smile, I turned away from her and strode out of the kitchen, away from her, away from my anguish and my feelings and ready to start over.

#vivianne miedema #vivianne miedema imagine #woso imagines

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coindraws · 3 years

Text

Put a trigger warning on this just in case. Nothing too bad, but it’s mentioned

I found out a few weeks ago that somebody who was quite important to me had passed away. Idk, it was very surreal when my dad told me those news, I had tried to reach her for some months now but wasn’t successful.

For some context, back when I was still in school in 2016 I had a seminar and our teacher asked us if there was anybody wanting to visit an old lady in my hometown and regularly have conversations with her. Her three daughters live very far away and her husband died a long time ago, so she didn’t really have anybody there apart from her neighbors. My teacher’s former classmate had asked her and that’s basically how I got to know her.

It’s funny because I actually used to live across the street from her house (my dad and my mom had rented an apartment there before moving a few streets away because the apartment would be too small for four people and my sister was on her way) and my dad knew her. Anyway, ever since then I’ve visited her every week and we just drank coffee and ate cake. Sometimes we’d take a walk together or go grab something at a store or go to a café in the city.

When I left school and quit university for the first time to try and see what I would pursue next, she quickly became one of the only constants in my life because I’d always make it a point to be able to continue seeing her. Over the time I also got to know her family and she told me lots of stories, about her husband, how she built the house she now lived in and how she got to that town in the first place since she was from a different region.

I still feel bad to this day that she gave me money each time I visited her and even if I told her that she didn’t need to do that, she always gave it to me. It felt weird to me that I was basically getting paid for keeping somebody company but she made it a point to me that I should see it more as some kind of pocket money. She also felt really bad when she forgot to give it to me and I was too uncomfortable to mention it.

Over the years I got to know her and her story really well, whenever I was planning to travel somewhere I’d try to not miss out on too much time that I could spend with her. The first big journey I did was in 2017 for a month and when I told her that I’d be away for some weeks, she was sad that I wouldn’t be able to visit her during that time but she was also happy that I got the chance to do something she never really did. I sent her a postcard from each city I saw because I knew she’d like receiving this and once I came home and saw her again, she told me how happy she was each time there was a new postcard in her mail.

She was easily one of the most supportive people I’ve ever met in my life. Whenever I told her about my plans for my future she was genuinely interested in it and encouraged me to pursue what I wanted. She liked art and history and knew how to play the violin among other things I had in common with her. I struggled a lot after school because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life but she always made me feel like everything was going to be okay.

It’s kind of strange thinking about how I got along so well with somebody who was over 80 years old and I remember how I was so afraid the first time I went to her place and see if I wanted to go visit her every week. I was so nervous, you never really know how old people react to things and what kind of worldview they have. But everything that I was worried about wasn’t the case.

Since she was really old and wasn’t able to live on her own anymore, she moved closer to one of her daughters, so they could visit her more often. It was hard to finally say goodbye to our weekly conversations but I still called her every once in a while and also visited her a few times. When I visited her in her new home (it was a very fancy retirement home) she paid for my room as well as everything else like food. Even when I offered her to pay it myself, she told me it was okay because I was her guest.

The other people there wondered who I was of course and admittedly, it was kind of weird eating with her in a room where everybody else was at least 70+. People that walked by asked her if I was her grandchild, which I wasn’t, so she told them that I was an old friend from the place where she used to live. She even called me a “substitute grandchild” which might sound weird, but it was nice to hear that I was this important and special to her.

I didn’t have a lot of time to call her because I was busy with university but every time I did manage to call her, she was very happy to hear from me. The last time we talked was in early January 2020 and I had planned to visit her sometime in February or April that year but that didn’t work out. I’ve tried to call her ever since then but to no avail. I don’t know the exact circumstances why she passed away but she was 89 after all.

I wrote a condolence card to her daughter and today I got a card back from her. Apart from wishing me good luck on any plans I had in my future, she also wrote that her mother had really appreciated me. I don’t know why, but this made me very glad to hear. I knew that she did, she had always told me when something reminded her of me or when she called me her friend. She even gave me some things to keep, like a necklace and a whole teaset (?!) from the 1880s. But it was still nice to hear it from somebody else that had known her.

When I heard that she passed away, it felt very weird. I felt bad that I wasn’t able to reach her again and I felt guilty that I maybe didn’t try enough to keep in contact. But at the same time I feel like she wouldn’t have been disappointed or mad at me that I didn’t manage to talk to her one last time. She never was, she was very understanding and also told me that she knew I’d never forget her. Which is true, because I will treasure the times I got to spend with her. She had a huge impact on me and I can only guess if she felt the same.

#laber net #tw death #I hope this is how you tag it because I've never done that so far

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interstellarrambles · 4 years

Note

I’ve never requested anything from anyone but I’m in desperate need for a billy x goth!reader. Idk just how he noticed her in school cuz she is the only goth person and always asks her out and they flirt but she always rejects him until one day she agrees. Idk if that makes sense but thank u :)

a/n: so I dont know how to feel about this, I might edit and come and change it because I'm not sure of the ending, but if you like it, let me know! I tried to make it sweet at the end but this is definitely out of character for Billy, but I'm soft for him so idc. @savvy7392 I really really really hope you like this im sorry it took ages

harsh, confident and undeniably cool: everyone at Hawkins High knew not to fuck with you - you'd forged your own path in previous years and showed no signs of slowing down any time soon. there was just something about you that made people want to simply observe from the sidelines. known for dark makeup, brash music and taking no one's bullshit, you were somewhat of a divisive figure: people either really hated you and tried to make your life misery (to not much avail) or desperately wanted to befriend you.

somehow, along the way you'd made friends with the likes of Robin and by association, Steve, but you were happy with your small group of friends and didn't really care all that much for your hometown and what (or who) it had to offer.

therefore, when a fresh faced californian boy toy entered Hawkins High, you couldn't deny there was a certain allure to his cool demeanour and newness. unluckily for you, Billy found his place with the current popular kids sucking up to him and soon the rumours about you began to surface again. whenever you caught his eyes within the first few days of his arrival, his gaze would be quickly diverted by Tina or Carol as they glared at you or threw insults. that's why you decided it really wasn't worth getting involved with Billy Hargrove, even if he did have an amazing taste in music.

but God did you misunderstand the lengths to which this boy would go for your attention.

the first few days, Billy would opt for a smile sent your way, enough to make you weak at the knees but not quite enough to make you wander over to him. group projects would be announced in class and when he tried to subtly join you, you'd amble to the opposite end of the room to be with a bunch of kids you didn't even know, just to avoid him. and Billy knew you did it on purpose since after sitting down with your respective groups, you caught his eye and simply winked at him.

almost dropping his pencil in surprise, he was genuinely unable to believe you had successfully ignored him in such a blatant way. smirking back at his gaping mouth and sparklingly amused eyes, you simply laughed it off, sparking a conversation up with the boy next to you as easily as you had rejected Billy. shaking his head in disbelief, he made a promise to himself he'd make you friends with him if it was the last thing he did.

another day, you arrived at school with a too-short black skirt on and Billy felt his heartrate quicken at simply catching one glimpse of you, his blood rushing just a little faster than usual. he would never have the guts to tell you, but he absolutely adored the way you dressed and how good it made you look.

unexpectedly, you treated him to an actual wave this morning, something that fuelled his pursuits. all day, he pestered you in class, forcing those who would usually take the seat next to you to move elsewhere so he could be closer to you. deep blue and bright with attraction, his eyes would drop down to your thighs and the way they looked so amazing in the skirt you were wearing. desperately, he wanted to say something about it to you, but he knew he'd trip over his words; already he had blushed intensely when you caught him staring, though at least he could tell you were enjoying his gaze.

rather annoyingly, you did like the attention, smiling to yourself when he would ignore other people so he could walk you to your next class even if he was rambling to himself the whole time. curls falling in his face and a cheesy grin playing on his cheeks were enough to make butterflies swarm your insides and you had a terrible time trying to hide it.

in reality, you really didn't want to be cruel since it appeared he didn't really have anyone that cared about him much past the muscles and cute eyes, but you also were not about to walk straight into a heartbreak with both eyes open. billy was definitely a bad influence, even to you, the resident goth of Hawkins High, and whether he meant it or not, you knew you would eventually get hurt.

the next time, he plagued your locker with letters and notes and waited next to it, a permanent grin locked onto his features.

a red shirt clung to his biceps, tan skin visible due to the multiple buttons left undone and a silver chain dangling and catching in the light. strong and slightly overpowering yet undeniably attractive, his unique smell of cologne and liquor and maybe a little something else invaded your private space, making you way too nervous to deal with him this late in the day.

weeks of notes and smiles and blue eyes meeting yours way too often had weakened your resolve and if it didn't disgust you so much you would be able to admit Billy was slowly turning your heart to mush. you couldn't listen to mötley crüe without thinking of him and every time you picked out an outfit, you wondered if he'd think you were beautiful or if he'd like the band on your shirt. his compliments and soft gestures like driving you home and giving you his jacket when it was raining (even if it didn't fit your look) had grown on you massively. now you would even go as far to say you enjoyed his company.

"heya baby girl," he drawled, the curl of his plump lips breathtaking in the worst ways, "fancy coming along with me for the evening?"

even though he exuded pure confidence, you didn't miss the way he resembled a kicked puppy when you smiled and responded, "I've got assignments pretty boy, no thanks," shovelling the letters into your bag and turning on your heel to walk home.

unfortunately, this wasn't quite good enough for Billy, hence why he followed quickly, his voice echoing after you, "what's with the ignoring me constantly y/n? you stand at parties and complain about the music and watch me all night and yet you walk away when I come up to you. I've seen you staring at me in class sometimes or at lunch when I'm not bothering you and whenever I catch your eye, you leave. you watch me all the time and yet every time I think you'll come over, you ignore me. if you don't like me, that's okay but I need to know now."

cheeks burning with embarrassment, your eyes dropped to the ground as he pulled you away into privacy. you didn't know what to say.

"billy..." you managed, still unable to meet his chaotic gaze as he stood only centimetres away, breathing hard while he awaited your response.

"what is it? just give me a reason." he almost pleaded, relaxing slightly when you gave him a smile and finally met his eyes.

"do you realise how badly your friends hate me? because I dress weird and I listen to music they don't and I've always been different and you hate that they don't like me. I can't spend five minutes with you in public before you get nervous, I'm sick of you hiding me away! you're fine with me unless there's someone around and I don't understand it and it is tearing me apart," your outburst pulled at him, making him feel terrible for calling you out prematurely.

"I like you Billy but I can't deal with that. I like my little life of listening to bad music with my friends and dreaming of getting away one day and hanging at the mall with Steve and Robin. I love sitting in your car and sharing those moments you don't let anyone else see. I do. but I wont let you pretend I don't exist."

shifting on your feet slightly, you realised how ridiculous the whole thing was and all you wanted was for billy to scoop you up in his arms and make the world better again. you wanted him to let you do his eyeliner and you wanted to feel his hands on your hips, his touch driving you wild. you wanted him to kiss you right now in the hallway and tell everyone else to screw off.

but life isn't a dream.

so you settled for Billy whispering his sorrys and offering you his hand, which was enough to nearly make you cry since he would never usually be so open in public. content, you followed him as he led you to his car, all the while promising he'd change things for you, only stopping to talk properly when you reached it.

"promise me something Billy?" after confirmation from him, you continued, leaning against the hood of his car, him stood only centimetres away "you'll never be ashamed of me?"

"never doll, there's nothing to be ashamed of," he leaned in, holding either side of your face ever so gently, and when the kiss finally broke, he whispered, "now how about a date?"

"okay pretty boy, you name it."

that was a good enough start.

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theonetheycallhannah · 4 years

Text

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 14: No Call No Show

Characters: Shane Benton (OFC), various other original supporting/secondary characters

Summary: We find out where Shane went Monday after work and exactly why she hasn’t been responding to any attempts at communication…and unfortunately, she’s not just taking some “me time.”

Want to reminisce about when this was just a happy little fluffy romance? Return to chapters past, or look at my other smutty drabbles here!

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: SHANE FIGHTS BACK, BUT DEFINITELY GETS HER ASS KICKED, SO FAIR WARNING, IT’S VIOLENT. Language, mature themes, emotional abuse, mention of narcotics (morphine), vomiting, foreshadowing and mention of potential future violent/non-con/dub-con activities, but if those acts occur, they will not be portrayed on the page, but rather between chapter or section breaks, so don’t worry. Also, I use the “R” word, but not to discuss non-con, but rather to add an educational note about why one should yell “fire” when one is being assaulted. Basically no Sy material whatsoever, but he’s mentioned, so I’m tagging it as such! Shane being somewhat blasé about her mortality. I really don’t want to trigger anyone, so please read with caution or wait until you emotionally are ready to deal with our girl going through the shit.

Author’s Note: Really REALLY nervous about this one. This is not the resolution you are looking for, my friends. In fact, it’s not a resolution, at all. Lol. I foresee many people disliking this chapter for some reason or another. That’s actually okay. It’s not a chapter you’re meant to “like” per se. I don’t “like” it. I’m prepared for it to get very few notes, and I’m positioning it anyway. I think it’s some of my better writing, but I hated putting Shane through the ringer like this. It’s just one of those chapters you “get through.” And honestly, if you truly didn’t like it please give me feedback so I can improve and tweak. {For reasons other than “My beebeeeeee!” or “never mention anything less than consensual ever again kthxbye” because a) of all, MY beebee too, and b) of all, that’s what warnings are for and why they should be read.} That being said, I hope it at least tides you over until the next chapter. At least you know where she is…not that THAT’S a big relief under the circumstances! Lol!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

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Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

Previously, in Virginia…

"Shane left work Monday and hasn't been back since. No one has seen her. Apart from you, I presume. "

"I haven't seen her in about a week and a half. I'm training out of state for a job. I've been away from my phone since Monday, and I just got back to it now."

"She isn't…with you? I assumed…"

"Well, you know what they say, Susan. I'm coming back early if I can manage it. See if I can do something to help find her."

Three days earlier, in Missouri…

Shane blinked her eyes open to little avail. She couldn't tell where she was, other than what seemed to be the back seat of a fairly new-model large vehicle, like a Suburban or a Tahoe. She thought it was new because the new car smell was still overpowering the nicotine and tobacco odor of at least one of its occupants. She could also smell the sickly sweet stench of artificial cherry permeating the cabin. The source must be very close to her nose as she lay there helplessly restrained while the vehicle jostled down the road. The smell reminded her of the horrible liquid pain reliever her mother would give her as a child when she had a fever or leg pains. She had taken enough of it then to make her averse to most cherry flavorings as an adult. She wanted to retch.

She could also make out the faint glow of a dashboard lit with LED lights, brighter and softer than those of older models. But she soon had to shut her eyes again. Her head was throbbing and her memories were fuzzy. She remembered very little of Monday…was it still Monday? But she was trying to think, despite the pounding of many drums in her cranium where a brain should be.

She remembered staying at work late to finish notes. She remembered heading home…and she remembered forgetting her phone at her desk and deciding to turn around to get it…when suddenly she was surrounded by vehicles and unable to move without having an accident. Had she known the circumstances then, she would have tried to muscle through. The horrific events came flooding back in traumatic flashes like lightning, or the pulse of passing streetlights in an unfamiliar city.

She remembered…

The glass by her left ear shattered. A hooded, hulking figure reached in through the new opening, fumbling for the handle to open the door. She'd had the presence of mind to fight back there. To punch at the probing extremity. But the extremity hit back, landing a solid smack against her left cheek, stunning her for long enough that the cruel apparition found the unlock button, pressed it, and opened the door. She didn't go quietly. She fought like the hellcat her mother always told her to be. Her foot found the odd solar plexus and groin before enough dark nemeses arrived to overpower her. They dragged her away from her car and out onto the pavement of the church parking lot she'd used to turn around. She did not make it easy for them. She kicked and punched and tried to twist out of their grips like vices. She yelled "fire" as she was taught as a young woman, not knowing the men's intentions, but certain they weren't kind, and knowing that yelling "rape" was not always effective at summoning help. Either way, it didn't matter. She could have shouted anything. No one was near enough, or cared enough, to come to her aid. As soon as her soft hands hit the gritty pavement, though, the violence intensified. She lost count of how many times she got kicked in the back, stomach, ribs. One asshole even kicked her in the tit. She'd find out who that was and he'd find himself in a special brand of pain…if she ever got out of this alive. She heard them calling her awful names that she was sure she hadn't earned, and especially not from these guys. About six of them, she thought. She hardly knew six guys. She certainly didn't know six guys that would want her roughed up like this. She heard one of the men start to say "Come on, guys, we better save some for--" and with that, she blacked out to the tune of the distinct "thunk" of a wooden baseball bat making contact with the back of her head.

She wanted to forget…for it to be a terrible nightmare…to wake up.

But she was awake. This was a waking nightmare. The cold leather on her cheek was made colder by the harsh air conditioning blowing toward her from above and below. She shivered from the chill and from the terror she was trying to suppress. Where were they taking her? For what purpose? And for whom were they leaving parts un-bruised…though it didn't feel like it.

She finally felt them slowing, heard a turn signal clicking, the courtesy of which she applauded despite her position in the active abduction taking place, and felt the gentle displacement of her body toward the driver side, knocking her head into the door. A right turn. Not that it would matter too much, but at least when she escaped, and she made herself think "when" and not "if," she would know which direction to turn to get back to town.

The blow to the head had left her sensitive to light and sound. As she was yanked from the back seat, all she could see was the glow of a dusk to dawn light above them. Normally a soft, guiding light, this one just as well have been the sun itself the way it stung her tender eyes. She squinted against it, thankful as she never would have thought to be, when a shroud was placed over her throbbing head. She could still hear the power coursing through the bulb and fixture, though. Normally a dull hum, in the state she was in, it was as loud as accidentally switching your TV to the snow channel at full volume.

"Bring 'er inside." She heard an unfamiliar male voice say.

Two strong, ruthless hands grabbed her by the armpits, causing her to cry out in pain. Such a tender place to bear weight, and why even big strong Sy hated crutches…Sy. Would she ever see him again?

"Shut up, bitch, or we'll knock you out again." She believed them, and being fairly certain she had at least a mild concussion, she wasn't sure what a second blow of an indeterminate velocity might do to her brain. She dealt with the stabbing pain as the men dragged her across what sounded like gravel, then grass, then something hard and smooth, maybe the slabs of an old, sunken, and somewhat uneven footpath. Soon, she felt the pain of her knees hitting what she assumed were porch steps. One, two, three of them. She was trying to concentrate through the fog now setting in, and maintain consciousness. Paying attention to the sensations, she told herself, was not only helpful for that task, it might help her escape. Remember the scents, too, she reminded herself. She tried to shake off the nauseating cherry and cigarette stench from her olfactory glands and take note of the bouquet around her.

Burnt leaves…gasoline…engine grease…the tang of sappy, just cut firewood…straw…manure…this seemed to be a farm. With a barn nearby…perhaps with horses. She loved horses. If she could find a gentle horse in the night…escape might be easier than she'd anticipated.

Entering the house was a noisy affair. There was a metallic keening from the spring of an aluminum screen door. She imagined it had one of those big swirly cross beams like her grandma's used to have that she always though was supposed to resemble a butterfly. A heavier, wooden door creaked open as the three figures muddled their way in, and the floorboards protested, as well, at the weight of her captors. So, she thought, not only a farm house, but an old farm house.

"Where do you want her?" the man on her left asked into what she only knew as the void, so far.

"Take her to the cellar. I've got things set up down there." a familiar voice chuckled and growled. How did she know the voice? Was he a patient? She couldn't think of anyone she'd treated that would want her abducted and brutalized.

"You got it, E." Ugh, for some reason it bothered her when guys referred to each other by their first initials. Girls, no big deal. But bros…there was something so thoroughly douchey and…familiar about it all…

"Hold on." the man called "E" said, and she heard footfalls approaching her. As he got closer, she smelled…patchouli and incense…and the sea…and it brought back a rush of pain from past trauma followed by literal pain from his punch to her gut. She hadn't been expecting it. Obviously. The wind had been taken out of her. Literally and figuratively. She did know this man…all too well.

"We've got some catching up to do, sweetheart." the pet name dripped like venomous honey from the tongue of the snake before her.

"Elliot." it wasn't a question. She coughed the name out like a pill that had gone down sideways.

Her escorts continued their transportation of her prone body to its destination…she didn't want to think FINAL destination, but the more she learned about her situation, the more she worried that she wouldn't make it out alive.

They had to get creative in carrying her down the narrow staircase to the cellar. They argued for a moment about who would take the top half and who would go backwards.

"How about the one who takes my top half goes forward and the bottom half goes backward?" These idiots. Where did Elliott find clowns like this who needed to be told by their prisoner the best way to sort out their domestic dispute.

She thought she felt them shrug, and silently take her advice as she felt herself being lowered down the stairs, feet first, panic threatening to overtake her restrained limbs.

When they got to the bottom of the stairs, they stood her up to remove her shroud, and cut the zip ties from around her ankles and wrists. She then noticed a small cell that reminded her of the ones in the sheriff's offices in some westerns she'd seen. She started to freak out, anticipating her future in that horrid place.

"Guys, please. No. Please don't do this. I don't know what Elliott's told you about me, but I'm a good person. I don't deserve this. I have a job and friends and a family who will worry sick about me. I am begging you to let me go. Please!"

"You're wasting your breath, lady." one of the men said, gruffly.

"PLEASE!" she appealed, desperate to get through. "Don't you guys have wives or girlfriends? Mothers, sisters, aunts, or female cousins? What if a woman you cared about was in this situ---" and before she could finish the question, one of the men punched her for what felt like the thousandth time tonight. She fell to her knees, vomiting. And the world went black again.

~~~~~~~

There were no windows. There was no clock. There was just a small twin mattress in one corner of the cell, and a bedside commode in the other. As accommodations went, it was hardly a Hilton, but it could have been worse. It was all lit by a 60-watt bulb in one of those hanging fixtures her dad had always called a trouble light situated on a hook on the side of one of the exposed joists outside the cell. He'd had a similar one for the longest time. He and mom will be worried sick before long, if they aren't already, she thought. The light was aptly named for these circumstances she was in. Trouble. A heap of it. And no idea of how to get out of it.

And honestly, no idea why Elliott would want her here. How he could do such a monstrous thing as having her kidnapped. How he came to live in this place when he never worked a day in his life. She was so confused. She hoped at the very least, he'd give her answers before he murdered her, if that was his plan.

She had woken up on her side, almost her stomach, with her right cheek on the scratchy surface of the bare mattress. Whoever put her to bed had been wise to position her like this given the likelihood that she might puke again. She noticed a small bucket, presumably for that purpose, next to the mattress. There was a caseless pillow next to her head, but she hadn't found that comfort during her nap of…she couldn't tell how long. Not that it mattered. The more she slept, the less time she'd have to process this horror movie she was currently living out.

She heard the door open at the top of the stairs and Elliott shout at one of his flunkies, "What do you MEAN you didn't get her phone?" a pause while indistinct words came from said flunky across the room, or maybe the house. "Well, find it. Tear that piece of shit Explorer apart if you have to. I want that phone." She took exception to her sweet little Norah getting called a piece of shit. That was her Millennium Falcon. And yes, she'd gotten flack for naming her Norah the Explorer, but she didn't care.

Elliott stomped down the stairs, grinning the most infuriatingly happy grin she'd ever seen on him. She wanted to maul him. To tear those stupid eyes out of their sockets with her own fingernails. But she controlled her anger and resisted even acknowledging his greeting of "Hey, sweetheart."

She ignored him.

"It's good to see you."

Silence.

"I missed you."

She stared right through him.

"I heard you and that meat head soldier broke up."

She scowled at him.

"There she is. There's my girl."

"I'm not your girl, Elliott, and I haven't been in years. Why am I here?" She broke. She couldn't take it.

"We'll get to that why soon enough. First, let's talk about why you and Cap'n Crunch are no longer breakfasting together? Soggy cereal? Limp toast? Was he letting you leave the table unsatisfied?"

"As if you ever satisfied me when we were together." She spat back, calling Elliott out on his notorious selfishness in all aspects of life and relationships.

"I've changed."

"Bullshit." she rolled her eyes.

"It's true!" he insisted. "I can give you references."

"I honestly don't give a shit. We're not together. Sy and I are. Happily. And you better let me go soon. He was expecting me at his place after work. He's probably out looking for me right now." she lied. It was worth a shot.

"Now it's my turn to call bullshit, because I know that isn't true." He looked at her with that patronizing stare he had.

"You don't know shit, Elliott."

"I know that your boy took off over a week ago for Virginia and hasn't come back, at least not the way he left. I believe he's supposed to be gone at least a few weeks. Maybe a couple of months. He wasn't sure at last report."

She was literally willing him to burst into flames before her. Her gaze revealed her hand.

"Told ya. You think you're the only one with connections at the fort? I've got me a sweet little sergeant who works in ATC over there. She can out-squat anyone else on base…and let me tell you, it shows." he lifted his eyebrow, lasciviously.

"You disgust me."

"Why? You never seemed to mind my…sexy imagination." he winked at her.

"No, I'm happy that you're getting it good on the regular from an ass that won't quit. But come on. You clearly only got with this girl because you thought it would give you the upper hand against me."

"Well, that's very self-absorbed thinking."

"Really, Elliott? Do you see where we are right now?" they looked around at the dank cellar and he shrugged, unable to deny or rebut. "And this woman. Does she know about this little scheme?"

He gave her one of his more evil grins. "Who do you think kicked you in the tit?" Okay…she was new levels of pissed off now.

"Why…the actual FUCK am I here, Elliott!?"

"Well, Shane, you embarrassed me with that little stunt at the bar a few weeks ago. You thought you were hot shit, parading your sasquatch of a boyfriend around in front of me, in my town, humiliating me as all of my friends watched. And then that dickhead sucker punched me in the parking lot. I shoulda pressed charges. But him being a veteran, I knew how that woulda gone in this town. I didn't have a snowball's chance. So I waited. And I planned. And I was patient. And I watched for my moment. And it finally came. I've been watching you leave work every night for the past week, and you're always with someone, or headed somewhere else, or going straight home. Last night…last night I knew was the night when you didn't leave until after 7. You were the last one out, and I knew that it had to be then. The plan, not that you need to know, is to plaster your social media with humiliating photos, piss off everyone that you love, including your precious Sy, and alienate everyone you've ever cared about until you're miserable and alone."

Shane was crying now. She thought she might be sick again. She reached for the bucket. The delusion of this man thinking that anyone in that bar besides maybe the ones that were there with him that night gave a shit about him. Thinking that the town was his. He was a nobody there. He hadn't grown up there, he didn't work there, he didn't participate in community events. He was kidding himself if he thought anyone cared enough about him that he should feel shame over her relationship with Sy, especially five years after their relationship with each other had ended.

"How's that for a 'why,' sweetheart?" he boasted.

"It's making my ask myself a lot of questions. Like why I ever agreed to go out with you all those years ago. Why I didn't see the signs that you were a psychopath sooner. And why I put up with your terrorism for so long thinking you'd ever really change. I can't believe I ever slept with you, you absolute barbarian." and she heaved into the bucket, non-productively. She hadn't eaten since lunch, and that had to be well over twelve hours ago.

"Well, ya did. And ya can't change the past. But I'm about to take your future into my hands. As soon as we find your phone, we're gonna have us a ball, little girl."

"You honestly think I'll cooperate with any of that?"

"You won't have a choice." he held up a little glass vial. "Morphine. A tiny dose of this stuff, and you'll do anything I tell ya."

"Please. Just let me go now, and I won't press charges. I won't go to the cops, at all. I'll call in to work with a headache, or something and you can live your life with Sergeant Squats and we can leave each other alone."

"A good offer, but I need to get something out of this. I need my pride back."

"And you're gonna get that by dragging me through the mud online from my own Facebook account? Is that really the way you wanna do this? When you could just show me what a great life you've built for yourself. This is a great place here, it seems, I mean, I only smelled it, and felt how big it was while I was getting dragged around the place. But, Elliott, if you had just told me about all this, I would have been happy for you!"

"This place is Sasha's."

"Oh." she grasped for something, anything to make him see how insane he was being without saying the words. "Well, I'd still have been happy for you finding an established woman with a great job. Why couldn't you have just written me a letter telling me that? An email! Something."

"This is how it's getting done, Shane. Because this is the only way that truly ruins your life in the process. Because at the end of all of this, the backlash is going to be too much for you, and you're not going to be able to handle this life anymore…"

"No. Elliott, no."

"Yes. You're gonna take one last hit of the morphine and drive that shitty Ford right into the lake."

"You used to care about art. About beauty. You used to be sensitive. You used to have a soul. What happened, Elliott? What happened to your humanity?" Shane asked, crying, in mourning for the man he used to be. The one that she used to care for.

"I fell in love. And she broke my heart. And nothing has been the same."

"Elliott, I didn't mean to…"

"Oh, fuck, not you, don't be stupid. No, Kara. I met her right after you kicked me out, and SHE broke my heart." he turned and started up the stairs, pausing to look over his shoulder and say, "I'll be back when I have your phone. And I'll bring friends." before he ascended, shutting the door firmly behind him.

She had never been so relieved to NOT have her phone in her life. Hopefully, her coworkers had it safe and sound, and locked up at work.

Up Next: Chapter 15-Recon

#netflix sand castle #Sand Castle #captain syverson #Captain Syverson x OFC #captain syverson fanfic #sigh for sy #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x ofc #this is either a bit angsty or it will give you angst it is hard to say

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queerhannibal · 4 years

Note

if hannibal and will’s roles were reversed in digestivo, do you think will would have saved hannibal?

Oh now this is a QUESTION thank you holy shit

My gut response is “no, but he would have regretted it every day for the rest of his life”

But honestly… I don’t think he would have just left Cordell and Mason alive and free and unhindered lol like At That Point something had to be done about them or they were gonna kill not only Hannibal but also the girls for helping Will escape and yk. They were already out there being the worst human being alive. He already wanted them dead. So I think that overall Will would end up going on a similar killing spree to what Hannibal did? He probably would make more effort to sneak rather than just butchering EVERYONE but. He would kill or at least severely maim a lot of people, including Mason and Cordell

So yk that would “save” Hannibal since presumably that would happen along the same sort of timeline and Hannibal would still be alive. Part of me can easily picture Will just fucking leaving him on the operating table with everything still hooked up to him and being like “if he can’t move in time to get away that’s too bad but also I just Want Rest”

On the other hand I mean he is. Wildly in love with the bastard. And the situation they’ve just been through has been absolutely horrible and he’s tired but he also can’t bear the sight of Hannibal so vulnerable so he definitely at least unhooks and unbinds him.

Idk that Will is anything like strong enough to carry Hannibal though and idk that Will would be committed enough to Saving Hannibal to try to get him out of there by some other means? I mean sure there are other means available to him but?? He’s so tired and Hannibal recently tried to saw his head open. He just leaves him and distantly hopes Hannibal will be gone by the time the cops get here.

Chiyoh of course still shows up and she sure as fuck doesn’t help Will: she finds Hannibal paralyzed in the makeshift operating room and takes him away somewhere to heal. After that? Small ficlet under the cut or on ao3

Will expects that Hannibal will go back on the run, and leave him a new trail of bloody breadcrumbs to follow. He doesn’t intend to look for them.

He doesn’t expect the knock on his door a few days later—even if Hannibal did stay in the area, the idea of him being that direct would never have occurred to Will. But there he is, still battered and bruised. He looks almost worse than the last time Will saw him, like he hasn’t slept. Like he walked there from miles away.

There’s a moment where Will considers shutting the door in his face. It really would only be fair. But he finds himself stepping back, opening it further to let Hannibal in and then shutting it behind him. The dogs are back home, and they cluster around, sniffing at the newcomer before Will orders them back to their beds with a sharp sound and a gesture.

He stares at Hannibal. Hannibal’s eyes are roving over his face like he’s trying to memorize it again. Neither of them has said anything. Eventually Hannibal sways on his feet, and Will catches his shoulder, not caring if it was probably an act. Hannibal all but falls forward into him, clutching at Will like his life depends on it.

Will wouldn’t have been surprised to feel the sharp stab of a knife, but there isn’t one. Just Hannibal wrapped as tightly around him as he can get, face buried in Will’s neck. Will’s arms come up around him as more a reflex than a conscious decision, and he feels wetness on his neck as Hannibal’s body shudders with a sob

It’s been a hell of a week, in as literal a sense as that phrase has ever been meant, and Will has been one good hug away from a breakdown himself since he saw Hannibal in front of the Botticelli. Maybe since he woke up in the hospital and Abigail was dead and Hannibal was gone. He’s not surprised when his own breath shakes and tears well in his own eyes. He leans into Hannibal and holds him tighter until they’ve cried themselves out, and then a little longer than that, and then he pulls Hannibal over to sit on the edge of the bed with him, shoulders touching, bracing each other.

“They’re watching my house,” he says.

“There is one man watching the driveway in a van,” Hannibal says, voice a little deeper and rougher than Will is used to. “Jack didn’t believe I would come to see you directly. Your ‘guard’ will believe he fell asleep at his post when he wakes in a few hours, and will tell no one for fear of losing his job.”

“You didn’t kill him?”

“I had hope that you would not inform Jack that I had been here. Killing him would have been difficult to explain.”

Will lets out a breath through his nose. “Why are you here?”

Hannibal’s face goes tight, and his lip trembles. “I couldn’t leave you again, Will. I—”

“Don’t,” Will says. He takes a deep breath, and it shakes more than he’d like it to. “Not right now.”

“Will I have another chance?” Hannibal counters.

Will looks down at his hands, twisted together in his lap. He sees Hannibal’s in his peripheral vision, shifting aimlessly on his thighs. “I don’t know.”

Hannibal sighs, and it sounds shaky too. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“I don’t want you to go,” Will says, before he can stop himself. He bites his lip, hard. “I’m so tired of all of this. I’m so tired.” He shakes his head a little. “I’ve missed you so much I thought I might die of it, but I can’t keep doing this.”

Hannibal’s hand twitches toward him before settling on his own thigh, squeezing so hard his knuckles go white. “I thought I was going to die,” he says slowly. “And the only thing that made me afraid was the thought that you were going to die too, and there was nothing I could do about it. That I was helpless to save you is what caused me alarm.”

You tried to kill me yourself the day before, Will thinks. He doesn’t say it. They both know it’s true, and it doesn’t change the fact that Hannibal is being honest. Both truths hang between them, incompatible and not incompatible at all. Will reaches over and covers Hannibal’s hand with his own, carefully prying his fingers out of their grip on his thigh. Hannibal turns his hand over and grasps Will’s fingers just as tightly.

“You can’t stay here,” Will says finally. “If that young man is honest, he’ll call Jack and they’ll search for you. He doesn’t entirely trust me where you’re concerned.”

“Should he?”

Will’s lip quirks up just a little. “Probably not.”

“You’re right that I can’t stay. Which means the time has come for you to decide what it is that you want.” Hannibal’s gaze burns into the side of Will’s head.

“What can I have? What are my options?” Will finally looks back up at him. “I want to come with you. I wanted it then. But I can’t do that if it’s just going to be like this.”

It’s Hannibal’s turn to look down at their hands. “Can I ask you to clarify what aspect of ‘this’ it is that you cannot tolerate?”

“I can’t live in fear of you gutting me and sawing my head open,” Will says bitterly. “If we’re going to do this we can’t keep hurting each other like this.” His voice softens. “I am so tired, Hannibal. I can’t keep fighting you.”

“Alright,” Hannibal says, stroking his thumb across the back of Will’s hand. “That is not as difficult a request as you seem to imagine, Will. I want you alive and well and with me. I know that now with certainty.”

Will laughs a little, to keep himself from crying again. “Wish you’d figured it out before.”

He’s not sure what he expected, but it wasn’t Hannibal’s quiet, “Me too.”

There’s nothing to say to that. They sit in silence for another little while, Hannibal’s thumb rubbing gentle circles into Will’s skin, until Will sighs again and says, “Let’s go.”

#hannibal #hannigram #will graham #hannibal lecter #hannibal nbc #asks #anon asks #3x07 Digestivo #my writing #headcanons #meta #sorry ajhsfgkdsjh this got away from me #maybe someday I'll actually write the whole thing #it's a v interesting concept #oh my god that's over a thousand words fksjgedha I'm gonna post it on ao3

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the-odd-eye-circle · 4 years

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Felt Sad Lately

I’m just posting this to get this off my chest really. Used tumblr as a personal diary back in the day, so I guess I’ll just continue rolling with that.

So backstory: Me and K (we’ll call him that) met back in high school. He’s a year below me. Instant crush lol. Dark hair, tall, glasses. Completely my type (still is). He’s really cute and one of the only guys that treated me with respect. Talked here and there in class and I considered us friends at the time. Too scared to go out with him and didn’t want to potentially ruin anything so nothing came of it the last 3 years of high school. Been with 1 guy and talked to others after I graduated, but K was always at the back of my mind no matter what. Like I never forgot him no matter how much I tried. Idk what that means or if it even has a meaning...

Fast forward to May 11, 2019: He added me and reached out to me on fb. Was really excited as I haven’t seen or spoken to him since I left. Basically admitted he liked me back in high school and I told him the same thing. We talked for a few days or so just catching up, and he later ghosted. I was devastated because I realized my feelings never went away and I thought it was something I said that made him not want to talk to me. I reached out in June (2) asking if it was something I did but he claimed nothing was wrong. Tried talking to him and he never read or responded so I gave up (looking back I shouldn’t of bothered) and just kinda went on with my life.

Fast forward again to July 14, 2020. He reached out again and apologized for ghosting. I’ll admit I wasn’t expecting to hear from him again like ever. I appreciated his apology, and just like last time we talked and caught up. He said he ghosted because he got really scared talking to me, which is a weird excuse but I’ll take it lol. We actually ended up going out later that month (July 20). With covid being around, we didn’t do much other than drive, talk and listen to music, but I enjoyed every minute of it. I’m the type of person where we could do nothing and I’d have fun lol. He’s probably even more attractive now than he was in high school. So you could imagine how I felt...

After our date, I realized my feelings were still there. I even told him before the date how I was unsure based off just talking (I was also afraid of a repeat of the year prior), but after going out it’ll be more clear (which it was). He seemed interested in going out again and we had stuff planned but because of our opposite work schedules, we never got to set a second date. I got excited because he seemed genuinely interested, as I was too. I haven’t been this happy in a really long time.

Well fast forward again to end of July, early August. He said school was starting soon and he didn’t have much time for anything -- I completely understood. I get how stressful things are with school/college with the covid changes. I was willing to wait for him until things calmed down because I was under the impression that we’d pick up where we left off. The way he said it made it sound like he still was interested, so I still tried talking to him. But this is when he kept leaving me on read or given me 1-2 word responses. I knew it was happening again and it’s like I wish he was more straight forward with it instead of lying about it. ;/

I do have a theory that he probably met someone else and threw me off to the side but he never said anything nor do I have proof so I can’t really say. ;/ Obviously we weren't exclusive so he could do whatever he wanted so I understand, but I ignored everybody to talk to him so idk just wish he had the same energy or at least could admit to it, that’s all.

End of August rolls around and we’ve maybe “talked” like twice the whole month. He claims we’re friends even now, but idk something seemed weird. I was sick of wondering if this was still happening or if I should try to move on again, so I messaged him asking what the heck he was thinking and feeling, and admitted mine. I didn’t expect a reply but I wanted him to know where my mind was at. He replied and said “No not interested just really busy”. I was disappointed because I liked him so much but at the same time I was appreciative that he told me. I’d be more angry honestly if he didn’t say anything like the last time.

I’ve been ghosted by every guy I’ve spoken to. Been given no specific reasons even after I asked. I’ve ghosted a different guy once, but only because he wouldn’t accept rejection. K was the first to actually respond back even if I did kind of have to force it out of him. It means a lot to me even though my heart did hurt aha.

Since then I haven’t spoken to him and his birthday is today so I’m wondering if I should even bother. As much as he says we’re “just friends” I still feel like it might seem I’m bugging him or something. I feel weird about it but like I also still think about him? I’m just super confused on my feelings like it’s gotta be more than a crush but it feels weird saying love as we haven’t had many interactions.

I have this weird thought that he’ll probably reach out in a year again and repeat the same cycle. 🙄 He had 2 chances and idk who’s more at fault comparing me and him, but it fucked it up both times and I really don’t want my heart shattered a third time for the same reason lol. I do believe if things are truly meant to be he’ll be back but for all I know I might not be available.

As a weird side note idk how much I believe in astrology and zodiac compatibility, but apparently he’s a Virgo and I’m a Sagittarius and uh..I looked it up and as romantic partners they don’t mix LOL but they make good friends. I should maybe take that as a sign...

Dating these days is just frustrating like I honestly give up lol.

#text #personal #crush #diary #high school #k #virgo #sagittarius #cries my life #love #2020 #dating

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purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1026

Do you like bacon? I’m not as wild about it as I used to be, but I’m still definitely into the whole put-bacon-on-everything schtick and I have no problem trying out novelty items that put bacon in donuts, or oatmeal, or cake, or whatever it is haha.

Have you ever wished for something to come true and it did? I mean, yes. It’s ranged from something as simple as “I wish it rains today,” to something as big as wishing that the person I like liked me back.

Do you like Rammstein? I’m familiar with the name but I’m not necessarily a fan.

Do you know a friend of a friend? Yes. I used to drink with Angela’s friends from arki. We never ended up being close but they were always great people to have a few drinks with.

Do you smile for no reason? I usually smile for a reason.

if somebody paid you a million dollars to get a green mohawk would you? Sure. I only stay at home anyway and that makes this whole thing not that big of a deal, honestly.

Ever had a BLT? Did you like it? It’s too basic a sandwich for me, but I wouldn’t turn it down if it were the only option available. I’d still remove the tomatoes, though; I never liked those in my burgers or sandwiches.

Are you in College? Not anymore; I graduated a few months ago.

Have you ever been to a State Fair? We don’t have those here, first of all because we don’t have states haha.

Do you like Youtube? I enjoy a number of YouTube channels and I certainly visit the site everyday, but I don’t like the way the corporation itself runs their website. It’s since become very different from what YouTube used to be.

If so whats your favorite channel? At the moment it’s Good Mythical Morning, but I also have a number of other subscriptions like BuzzFeed (for their Worth It series), First We Feast, Try Guys, PewDiePie, Anthony Padilla, Anna Park, a couple of channels dedicated to pro wrestling, some eating ASMR channels, among others.

Do you enjoy compulsively cleaning electronics? Can’t say I do.

What is your favorite small dog breed? Are beagles considered small dogs? I love them.

Do you smell bacon cooking? Nopes but I do have a dark chocolate macadamia cookie from Starbucks beside me that I can faintly smell.

Have you ever bitten anything for any unknown reason? What was it? I like biting on straws, but that’s about it I think.

Do you like the movie "The Master Of Disguise"? I don’t think I’ve heard of it before.

What is the closest thing to you thats red? A paper bag under my desk that holds all the artsy stuff I’ve bought over the years, like my coloring books and paintings.

Have you ever gone into a toystore just to play with the toys? That’s always made me feel like a freeloader haha, so I never go to toy stores just for that purpose. I’d sometimes play with whatever exhibits they have, but I make sure to go through the different toy sections too.

When was the last time you went through a Mcdonalds Playplace? Maybe when I was 5 ot 6 maybe? I went to Burger King’s playground way more often since we dined there more. Also, there were always fewer kids so it was more fun to play there.

Do you have an annoying dog? Cooper’s a beagle, who are notoriously big balls of energy, and so there are days I just can’t keep up with his energy and for those moments I do have shorter patience with him. It’s really not his fault, though.

What was the first comic book you ever had an obsession over? I was never into comic books. I tried for a long time because my two favorite wrestlers are into them, but just couldn’t jump on that train.

Do you like kids pop-up books? Loved them as a kid but I was never obsessed enough to have them for my own. I was content reading pop-up books in the school library.

Does anybody else think bugs are cool and interesting? I’m sure there are tons of people out there, but not me.

What kind of toothpaste do you use? Colgate.

Do you own a pair of striped socks? I don’t think so, no.

What is the most random thing in your bedroom? An inflatable pig.

In a normal conversation do you slip out Latin? LOL no. I don’t think I’ve done that before, unless I was singing something in Latin on purpose.

Can you sing? No. I’m not tone-deaf, but I’m not anywhere near decent either.

If so, what is the highest note you can reach? -

Have you ever been to the cream cheese capital of the world? I don’t know which one that is.

Was this survey random? Enough for me to have a good time with it, yes.

Have you ever been in a parade? I’ve been to several Pride marches if they count.

What is your mothers, mothers maiden name? I don’t actually remember haha, so I wouldn’t be able to share it anyway. It’s a very Chinese-sounding name, though; that much I can share.

Do you have a different hairstyle? No. I just have bangs, which a lot of people already have.

Am I annoying yet? I don’t feel annoyed, so you’re good.

Do you like soybeans? I haven’t had actual soybeans. < Same, but I’m sure I like food products that have soybeans in them or are made out of soybeans.

Do you press buttons just to see what they do? Hahahahahahahaha yes that’s me, I’m that person with the restless fingers.

Do you still play pokemon? I never got into the video games because I was never any good at strategy-based games, but I did play Pokemon Go for a while especially when I was in freshman year of college. Overall, I was mostly into the anime.

What is your favorite pokemon? Jigglypuff.

Have you ever put blue streaks in your white cats hair? I have a white dog, but I wouldn’t do this to him even if you gave me dog-friendly dye. Just not my preference.

Are you blond? Nope.

Does it bother you when people have a collar turned up? No.

Are your nails painted? If so, what color? If not, do you like nail polish? They’re never painted. No, I personally don’t see the appeal of nail polish for myself but you do you.

Are you awesome? I’ll let other people be the judge of that.

As a kid did you like Barney, Baby Bop, or DJ more? Wasn’t it BJ? Anyway, I liked him the most, then Barney. I found Baby Bop way too whiny.

Have you been to the Bzoink Forums yet? I just go there to look for surveys. I don’t actually try out the other features.

Does any key on your computer and or laptop stick? No.

Does fire excite you? Fuck no lmao, I’m terrified of fire.

Have you ever sung in a choir? Never.

Do you go to church? Until March this year, I had attended mass every Sunday all my life. When Covid hit, we started watching YouTube recordings at home. So yeah, no escape.

Have you ever had a theme (pirate, ninja, civil war) day? Like, in school? Yeah we had a themed day in high school once. I forgot what the actual theme was but I remember going as Lara Croft. In college, we used to go with color-coordinated outfits for Valentine’s Day, e.g. people who had dates can wear red, those who are single can wear black, those in complicated relationships can wear brown, those who had crushes but can’t have them can wear yellow, etc. It wasn’t an official rule, of course, but it was always fun for those who chose to join haha.

Can you touch your tongue to your nose? Nopes.

Have you ever been to Philadelphia PA? No. It has an amazing reputation for being a passionate wrestling city though; it’d be cool to go there and see a local show or two.

Do you think Orlando Bloom is hot? He’s not unattractive, but I just never had a crush on him.

Do you think Twilight is over-rated? At some point I think it was, but it also got (and continues to get) so much hate that I think that has since been able to balance out the initial overrated-ness of it.

When was the last time you where sick? what did you have? I had a UTI in May, which I never would’ve known if I didn’t take a urine test because all I got was a high fever that never went away. Peeing was never painful for me during that time and my kidney region never hurt either.

What is your favorite number? 4.

Look at your toes. Sure.

If you are a girl do you hate girl drama? Idk what you mean by that. I never grew out of liking gossip, though.

If you are a guy do you hate girls who prolong the drama? -

ZZZ, im tired....are you? A little, but I have coffee so I might stay up for a bit because it’s Fridayyyyyyy.

Favorite indie music group? alt-J.

Have you ever pet a monkey? I don’t think I have.

Have you ever ridden a camel? Nopes.

Have you ever punched somebody? Never to hurt someone.

Do you like cupcakes? Love them.

Orange or lemon flavoring? Depends on what I’m consuming. I like orange chewy candies, but I like lemonade juice too.

Can you sing opera? Not a chance.

Touchpads or Mouse's? Touchpad.

Have you ever been to a Disney theme park? Nope, I haven’t.

#survey #surveys

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klywrites · 4 years

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Hi! What drawing program do you use? Do you havr recomendations for a free program as a beginnier?Do you also have recomendations for cheap or affordable tablets for drawing practice?

Hello! I don’t draw a lot but here’s what I can tell you based on my own experience and preferences as a casual doodler.

It really depends on which and how many features you want, and your own comfort level, so you’ll have to try out the programs. For the tablets I’ll give my personal opinion and the basics but you can find reviews on youtube or amazon.

What I use most of the time

PaintTool SAI (not free, has trial period)

Krita

ibis Paint (see below)

Huion H610 PRO

Software (free*)

Some of these might seem a bit overwhelming for a beginner, but they just take some time getting used to. I like having options to play around with, but there are other options out there that are simpler if you don’t like these.

GIMP - Many people love using this and recommend it. I tried it years ago and couldn’t get into it. I don’t know what it’s like now, but it was too simplistic for what I was looking for at the time.

FireAlpaca - Pretty good. It’s also been a while since I’ve used this though. I couldn’t get into it either but I’m not sure why. It could’ve been that I simply didn’t like the interface or something.

MediBang Paint - Really good. Really like it for just drawing purposes. I hear it’s pretty much the same as FireAlpaca (again, idk since I haven’t used it in years), but I think it was designed to be more for commercial artists (e.g., comic artists, as it’s got a feature that’ll let you draw panels easily). When it comes to text though, there are certain supported fonts which you need to create an account for and log in to if you want to use them. Also, it’s got an ad popup at start-up.

Krita - Love it. It does everything. Unlike MediBang, text allows me to use all the fonts I have installed on my computer. I use it mostly for drawing** though, so I haven’t really played around with text options and effects.

ibis Paint - Mobile app for Android and iOS. I use this to draw on my phone but you can use it on an iPad if you have one. I really like this app. It’s got a frame divider like MediBang if you wanna draw comics. There’s also a fairly populated online community and lots of Youtube tutorials available.

* ibisPaint gives you the option to upgrade to unlock all the paid brushes… BUT you can just watch an ad video to unlock them all for 18 hours. You only need to watch one (1) ad to unlock all the brushes, and once the 18 hours are up, just watch an ad again!

** for stuff like photo editing/manipulating and graphics art (including text stuff), I stick to my trusty ol’ PaintShop Pro simply because I’m so used to it – it isn’t free though.

Tablets

Right now I mostly use my Huion H610 PRO, which is about 4 years old but still works great. The working area gives me plenty of space to move my hand, which is why it’s currently my preferred tablet out of what I have. When I bought it, I paid about $90 CAD for it on Amazon.

Some alternatives:

Wacom CTL4100 - The small version without bluetooth is about $90 CAD. Depending on which size/version you get, you’ll be able to download from a choice of a few software titles like Corel.

One thing that might be a bother is that the shortcut keys are on the top as opposed to the side, so you’d be reaching up over your drawing hand to use them. Personally, I’ve never used shortcut keys (I keep one hand on my keyboard) so this doesn’t really matter to me.

Huion 420 - very smol, cute, portable. Has shortcut buttons on the pen. About $30 CAD. Takes getting used to going from a bigger work area to a really small one. The small work area allows for a bit more control in the fingers, but makes the wrist more prone to cramping because so little movement is needed. Perfect for on-the-go.

Huion H420 - same as above but it has three shortcut keys on it, for like $5 more. So if you’re really, really on a budget and don’t need/want the shortcut keys, then you’ll be fine with the Huion 420 instead of H420.

Tips

do some research on all the features a tablet has, consider what you’ll want to be using it for

check out reviews

make sure you look into compatibility – some software won’t work with certain tablets, etc.

practice, look at tutorials, practice some more

I think that’s pretty much it. Have fun on your digital drawing journey!

#anonymous #kly answers #kly art #btw the crappy reblog doodles are done in ibis paint

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scottybrock · 4 years

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It’s A Date - Colby Brock

A/N Requested by a lovely anon: “I think this can be sort of angst Colby and the reader secretly dating and sam and Kat know and decide to mess with them and set them up on dates and either Colby or the reader turns it down but the other goes on it just to please Sam or Kat and it can be fluff at the end. Idk if that even made sense haha

“You agreed to what?!” You demanded, your hands flying to rest on your hips. Colby sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “Baby, it doesn’t mean anything-” He tried, but you rolled your eyes, your lips flattening into a straight line. “Why did you even agree?” You asked quietly. Your posture went from defensive to droopy and sad. Your eyes bored into his, silently pleading for answers. Colby’s expression softened in response, and he reached out for you, to pull you into his arms.

To his dismay, you backed away from him, your arms winding around yourself, as if you were hugging yourself. Your shoulders slumped, and you sighed, long and deep. Your eyes welled with tears, and you continued backing up until you reached the door. Your shaky hand reached for the doorknob and you kept your gaze focused on Colby, who looked absolutely heartbroken. You exhaled slowly, then closed your eyes, allowing a few tears to stream down your cheeks. Colby’s hand twitched; he longed to take you into his arms and hold you tight, wipe away your tears with his lips, But he couldn’t things had gone too far in the wrong direction during this conversation.

Your lower lip trembled and you shook your head slightly, gripping the doorknob firmly. It was the only thing anchoring you, the only thing that was keeping you from losing your mind. “Have fun on your date, Cole,” You muttered, opening the door. “I hope it all works out for the two of you, because right now, I don’t see how we can possibly move on from this, how we can get past this.” With that, you slid out of the apartment, the soft click of the door closing behind you echoing in Colby’s mind.

“It wasn’t a break up,” He tried to convince himself, to no avail. While you didn’t officially break up with him, it felt like the final nail in the relationship’s coffin. Colby was the one who insisted on keeping the relationship secret, and you hadn’t minded at first. But now, knowing that Colby was going on a date because Sam and Katrina set him up, the excuses felt stale. Colby shook his head at himself, at his stupidity. He couldn’t believe he let things get this far. It was time to put an end to it, once and for all.

He banged on Sam’s door. Sam opened it, his brows furrowed in concern. Colby looked like a wreck, his eyes bloodshot and his face red and puffy, as if he’d been crying. “I can’t go on the date tomorrow,” Colby croaked out. Sam and Katrina exchanged an unreadable glance. “Why not?” Sam asked. Colby shifted in his spot, his eyes flickering between Sam and Katrina wearily.

“I have a girlfriend,” He blurted, his hands trembling slightly. “I’ve had a girlfriend for a while, now.” Katrina snickered, rolling her eyes. “Sis, we’ve been knew,” She told him. Sam nudged her gently in reprimand. “Is it who I think it is?” Sam asked quietly. Colby nodded. He told them about how the two of you met, how the two of you began dating a few months ago, and then about the fight that the two of you had just an hour prior.

Colby’s brows furrowed, and he scowled. “If you guys knew I had a girlfriend, then why did you say that you set me up with someone?” He demanded, irritated. Sam sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “We just wanted you to admit it, to admit the fact that you had a girlfriend.” Colby scowled even more, rolling his eyes. “Well, now I might not even have a girlfriend anymore,” He griped. Katrina’s lips twisted into a frown, and she shook her head. “That’s bullshit, Colby.” She told him. “You’re going to go to her, apologize to her, and tell her that it was on me and Sam, for screwing with you with a really fucked up joke.”

Half an hour later, Colby was standing at your door, flowers and chocolates in hand. He knocked on the door tentatively. The door slowly swung open, revealing a very disheveled-looking you. Your face was red and puffy, your eyes bloodshot as if you still hadn’t stopped crying since you left his apartment. You glanced up at him shyly through your eyelashes, and his words spilled out of his mouth without his permission.

He explained everything that happened, that Sam and Kat knew that the two of you were dating in secret, and wanted to screw with him until he admitted that he was spoken for. He explained his reasonings, reassuring you that he loved you and only you. He apologized over and over again, until his words blurred together. Your lower lip trembled and you let out a soft whine, throwing yourself at Colby. Surprised, Colby caught you, his bright blue eyes widening in shock. His expression settled into one of fondness and contentment, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I love you so much, baby.” He murmured.

You pulled him into your arms, hugging him tight. He dropped the flowers and chocolates onto your doorstep, hugging you tightly. His lips pressed against the top of your head. “I love you too, Cole.” You tilted your head back to look at him. “You know what this means, right?” You asked. Colby shook his head, his brows furrowing. You grinned wickedly at him. “That means we have to get Sam and Kat back, even harder.”

#colby brock #sam and colby #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fanfiction #colby brock x reader #xplr #traphouse #sam golbach #katrina stuart

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moderately-ok-trash-bin · 4 years

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Three OTP Questions

So I just kinda spontaneously decided to write this for my two favourite OCs because if I don’t force myself to talk about them now then I never will. Sooo here’s the first one, my Altmer Dragonborn Aradove.

1) How did they first meet?

‘Must keep going. Must remain vigilant. Dragons, the Thalmor, the Imperials, bandits, beasts... any or all of them could appear at any time. I won’t be truly safe in this land until I can make it so. Rid Skyrim of the dragons and the tyrants, show her people they can trust me, and show my people that peace and coexistence is possible. Then I can go home... then I can rule a land of prosperity and growth, instead of a land of foolish supremacy and cruelty. I’ve been given this power by the Divines, and I’ve been given it for a reason. It is up to me, and me alone, to end the cycle of senseless violence that has plagued Tamriel...’

It was thoughts like this dominating my mind as I rushed through the forests and cliffs of the Rift. While I couldn’t help but feel excitement at the rush of the wind, the smell of the trees and the river, and the sounds of the untouched wilds all around me, the weight of my purpose kept my face unflinching as stone. Ever since I’d fled Summerset and, after narrowly evading execution upon reaching Skyrim, learned that I was the prophesied Dragonborn, things had been different. I was no longer a disillusioned princess with no desire to be the figurehead of a regime that rejected all ways of life but their own, but a destined hero who must bring about a new age. And this was a destiny I knew I must take seriously. It is up to me to herald in a new peace for both those it is my birthright to rule, and those is is my birthright to save. That is all that matters. Nothing less than that would satisfy me.

My head snapped to the side when I heard a faint but deep snarl in some nearby grass. I drew one of my two steel swords, and in my free hand, sent a fire bolt hurtling at the Sabre cat that now charged at me from its hiding spot. The animal screeched with rage as the flame hit the side of its face, but it did not slow, leaping into the air to attack me. I narrowly blocked its huge paws with my blade as it landed, deftly shoving it to the side and drawing my other sword in my free hand. As it dashed in to try and rake me with its claws, I inhaled sharply and, focusing my energy into my voice, I used my Shout. ‘Fus’ echoed slightly around us as the beast staggered, giving me the opening I needed to move in and put my swords through the animal’s chest.

I stepped back, briefly wondering if I’d ever get used to the feeling of using my Shouts. They were unlike anything I’d ever felt, some deep, complex knowledge in my very soul that manifested as power. This was the Divines’ gift to me, the gift that uniquely allows me to deliver this world from calamity... I’d never before imagined that such a power could exist in me...

I suddenly became acutely aware of the reality of my current situation. I’d been careless, lost in thought in the middle of the wilderness after using the most attention-grabbing power at my disposal. I’d let my guard down. I was vulnerable.

Too late.

The second Sabre cat slammed its paws into my chest and nearly knocking the wind out of me as I whirled around, claws digging into my leather armour as I winced and dropped one sword, hastily bringing the other one up toward my face. I heard the clang of bone against metal as I barely managed to put my sword between the animal’s massive teeth and my throat. I tried to push it off of me, but to no avail. It had me pinned and I was in no position to use any of its strength or even my own against it so I could get up and fight on. Magic wouldn’t work either, as I needed to keep both hands on my weapon to keep the creature at bay.

I felt my heart drop in fear. Would this thing tire before me? I was already straining to keep pushing it back at the poor angle I was forced into, would it tire before me? How long would I need to stay here? What if it outlasted me and I died here? A chorus of ‘no’ echoed within me, yet try as I might to Shout again, the power still needed time to recharge. I winced as the pressure on my chest began to register at the same time that I tried to push the Sabre cat off, closing my eyes tightly to try and distract myself from the peril of my situation, instead focusing all of my energy into trying to escape and save myself. I had no idea how long I was there. A second? Two minutes? Didn’t matter. I only snapped back to my senses when I heard a muffled cry of pain from the Sabre cat, followed by the complete removal of the pressure crushing my chest as I opened my eyes to watch the beast slump over, a shining steel greatsword being pulled from its side.

I sat up, and after looking to the Sabre cat that had just nearly ended my life just to make sure it was truly dead, I gazed up to see who it was that had come to my rescue. What I saw triggered a landslide of things within me that I could not begin to understand.

My mysterious saviour was a Nord man with dark brown hair and a short beard. Black war paint framed his eyes like tear-streaked eyeliner. He wore a type of armour I’d never seen before, with more furs and a more brownish tone of metal, and some metal wolf heads adorning the torso. After briefly looking him over, I gazed back up toward his eyes, and I became distinctly aware of both his disdainful expression, and the Imperial woman in studded armour behind him. I tried to find the words to say, but before I could, he addressed me.

“Are you alright? That thing was damned close to ripping your throat out.” Instinct told me to bite back and tell him he had no idea who he was talking to, but I refrained, only just remembering I needed to keep my identity a secret.

“I’m fine. The thing simply caught me the second I dropped my guard,” I replied, attempting to keep my composure despite the strange feelings welling within me. My face felt warm and my heart was beating faster. I glanced to the ground, briefly wondering if I’d contracted a disease from one of the Sabre cats...

“Hmph. You can’t just be complacent out here, elf. Do that, and you’re sure to get torn apart,” he sneered, my face flushing further as I looked at the annoyed expression on his face. I gritted my teeth subtly at the implication that I was just being foolish.

“I’m not a fool, I know that. It was simply bad timing to lose focus. There’s been much on my mind these past few days,” I replied, standing up and sheathing my blades.

“Hah. An off day, hmm? Of course.” I could feel the sarcasm dripping from his words, his disbelief in my abilities clear. I decided it was time to take the focus off of me, before I felt like I needed to give a demonstration.

“Those matters aside... I must thank you for saving me. You have my deepest gratitude. May I ask who you are?” I inquired, attempting to summon up the regal politeness that was drilled into me as I grew up. The man stood with a certain sense of indignance and pride as he introduced himself.

“My name is Vilkas, a member of the Companions in Whiterun. This is my Shield-Sister, Ria. We of the Companions fight for honour, glory and coin. We take the burdens of people who don’t feel up to defending their own honour,” he said confidently. I had heard mention of the Companions before, both rumour and small talk in Whiterun, and the famous Five Hundred Companions of Ysgramor from my history lessons. Things had changed drastically over time, it would seem. Yet this thought’s importance in my mind paled in comparison to the still-rapid beating of my heart. Something about looking at this man gave me such a rush. I had no idea what I was feeling, and at that point I was beginning to fear it. All I knew was that I needed to get away, and quickly.

“I see. Once again, many thanks for coming to my rescue. I must now return to my travel, but know that I will not forget your help.” I turned to leave, Vilkas giving me a nod of acknowledgement as I walked away. Once I had passed through enough forest to be out of his sight, I leaned against a tree, bringing one hand to my chest and the other to my still-red face.

‘What on Nirn is this feeling...?’

2) What did they think of each other at first?

Aradove was immediately attracted to Vilkas, but she had no idea what she was feeling at first, so she was suspicious of him because of the effect he had on her until she figured out what it was. Vilkas, on the other hand, thought Aradove was just some stupid elf too full of herself to be aware of danger.

3) Were they immediately interested/attracted or did that come later?

Aradove yes, definitely. Vilkas though, only began to take a shine to her as she rose through the ranks of the Companions later on in her story and proved herself strong, honourable and level-headed.

——————————

Oh my god I did it. I wrote a whole OC post. And I don’t hate it. Whattt

@hircines-hunting-grounds @curiousartemis

Idk what do you guys think? I hope you liked it :)

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

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So this is...its a thing. Let’s go with that. I’ve been calling around LA for pretty much all of last week, going through every oral surgeon I can find to see if they do the surgery I need and what their schedules are like, how soon I could get into surgery, etc, and also I’ve been asking literally everyone I know if they know of anyone, have a referral, etc. Even reached out to this old client of mine from back when I was doing sex work, years and years ago, to see if he knew anyone in LA with connections at Cedars Sinai or another hospital, like, to see if they could even just check with their hospital to see what visiting doctors specialize in that kinda thing. Keeping in touch with people from my sex work days, lol, is not something I normally did, or do. He’s literally the only one, and that’s because it just....kinda happened? *Shrugs* He's not a regular presence in my life or anything like that, just the only one from those days that for various reasons, I kinda kept in casual contact with - which for me pretty much meant that I called him or he called me like, a couple times a year to just be like hey how you been. And it’d been a couple years to be honest, cuz like....*gestures at the last two years*

LOLOL. I guess I just have very low standards for people keeping in contact with me. Who knows why. One of those inexplicable mysteries I guess.

But point is, he got back to me like, the same day, and acted as a go between for me with this old friend of his, who works at Cedars Sinai as a chaplain, their non-denominational one...last week, at the time, I was only focused on the advice part of the email he sent after he asked around the hospital for recommendations, and it kinda didn’t even register that this guy wasn’t just....had connections at Cedars Sinai, but was actually working there himself (for some reason, I thought he was in a different state when first put in contact with him, whatever). Let alone what his title there was. So he gave a recommendation that I’m following up on today, and I just called the old client of mine who put me in touch with him to clarify a few things he’d say, and it only then hit me where this friend of his worked, and so I asked how long he’d worked there and turns out it was two years.

Which was...when my aunt killed herself. And that was where she worked.

So. Like. This random guy who I’ve never met before, doing a favor for me as a favor for this guy who used to pay me for sex and kinda almost accidentally ended up as like...a casual but distant friend, is literally the guy who was hired to replace my aunt as the non-denominational chaplain at Cedars Sinai when she died two years ago.

And I don’t have the first fucking clue what to do with that?

Like....I’ve always considered myself ‘comfortably agnostic,’ like I’m more than willing to believe a higher power exists, I’m just not all that concerned with forming a definitive idea of what that might be or look like or want. I hate organized religion with a passion because lol, repressive Catholic upbringing, and I’ve just never felt a particular need to go out and look for faith in anything other than myself and like....the things in life I actually value, y’know? I’m of the mindset that like, I figure if I do things cuz they’re the right things to do and try and live a good life where I’m helpful to people and empathetic and compassionate, whatever that Higher Power’s specific deal is, they’re either gonna decide that’s good enough for them when I die, or if its not good enough on its own merits, like...idk why I would even want anything from them or anything to do with them anyway? Like sure God, send me to hell because the only thing that really matters in the end is I didn’t sign up for your official email mailing list or whatever the fuck. Nope.

So religion and faith and spirituality have never been a big...thing for me, or part of my life, its not something I really feel like, a void for not having or whatever. I don’t have an issue with what anyone else believes or why, up until the point where their personal faith apparently requires them to like....impinge upon my actual life and ability to live it the way I choose to....but I’m not like that dude who goes around trying to poke holes in peoples’ faith, just like...respect that I’m not interested in a sales pitch and we’re cool, y’know? Like my aunt was a chaplain, literally the only person in my family who ever kept in regular contact and like, made a point to check on how I was doing and shit and like...idk, loved me, is I guess the word to use? LMFAO. But like....yeah, she was the only relative I actually felt valued by, and thus the only one I really had anything like a regular or ongoing relationship with....*shrugs* So like yeah, whatever. She believed things that I don’t necessarily NOT believe, but more just have never felt a need to explore or try and decide just WHAT exactly I believe or put a name or a description to it.

And I’ve never been someone who sees signs in stuff that happens, nooooooot a fan of fate or destiny as a general concept and like....I’ve got no problem believing that things like ghosts or demons or anything like that could exist, y’know, things that just can’t be explained by science or anything near to our current understanding of reality at least....I’ve just never had anything remotely close to something I would describe as an encounter with the supernatural, or demonic or divine or anything really...spiritual, I guess?

So.....I don’t know what to feel about this, lol. Like, I’m trying not to read anything into it, like y’know....a sign, haha, not because I wouldn’t like to think that my aunt is still looking out for me in some way, I guess, maybe? Like, of course I’d like to think that, I miss her. A lot. And actually have been randomly thinking about her a bunch lately, like at weird times like, I don’t know what it is that made me stop and think of her, my thoughts go there? So I mean....I’m just saying....it wouldn’t break my brain or upend my entire worldview to accept that could actually happen or be a thing, its more just that I’ve gotten my hopes up so many damn times this past year in specific, that I’m just like....I cant afford to pin my hopes on THIS, like that this is ‘a sign’ that this time, its going to work out? But at the same time, its SO FUCKING SPECIFIC a connection like, and in such a WEIRD fucking round about way, that its pretty much impossible NOT to try and read something into it? Like, the guy who replaced her never even MET her, she’s literally just the woman who had his office before him and well. Is probably just remembered as a depressing story around the hospital, to be totally honest, cuz like, there’s not a lot of follow up that tends to happen when you ask so what happened to her and the answer is well, she killed herself, y’know?

So its like, how do you not get your hopes up even just a little bit, from thinking about that......which I figure means, oops, further to fall and crash and burn if this lead fizzles out too and I got my hopes up for nothing, but if it does pan out, like....I guess that’s kinda the point of faith in a higher power in the first place, lol, to hope for better or believe that there’s a point to all this or a place this all is headed, idk.

But then also now I just fucking miss her too, like, even more than usual, and thinking the shit I’ve tried really really really goddamn hard not to think about for the past two years, like how I know she had her own mental health struggles and even physical health issues, and I know better than to fucking blame her and yet there’s that part of me that wants to fucking throw a tantrum about how i need her and how could she leave me alone with just the rest of my useless fucking joke of a family, but then there’s the other part of me that’s like well I obviously wasn’t the help she needed either, so its not like I’ve got any right to think I was owed her presence or help or anything like that, its just. Idk. I miss her. I need her. I love her, like there’s so many things I want to tell her that I never got the chance to because I didn’t just fucking take the chances I had when they were actually available and there are so many more things I wish she’d told me, and just. I knew she cared, at least. No matter how detached I felt from the rest of my family or just like...fuck family in general, lol, she was the one person there who I never doubted like...just cared. About me. Gave a shit, showed up, wanted me to actually be happy and wanted that to look like whatever I wanted it to look like, didn’t give a fuck what other people thought my happiness should look like or require.

And its just like, maybe this is just a really weird, strange, major coincidence or maybe its a sign of something or proof of something and maybe it doesn’t even matter, bc like...I was just gonna say that its not like I even NEED the answers or to know, but like lol, dumbass, the fact that I’m actually asking the questions or getting worked up over whether or not I actually believe this means something or I just WANT to believe it means something, like, would tend to suggest I’m shitting myself and I DO actually want the answers which suggests maybe I’m not actually as agnostic or at least not comfortable with being agnostic as I’ve told myself, which....oh fucking hell. Am I having an existential crisis? Is that what this is? Jfc I better not be having a fucking spiritual awakening or whatever the fuck, like that is not what I need, this is NOT the time for that, literally nobody asked and I should know, Ive been here the whole time and nope nope nope this guy is not your ‘but the real salvation came from finding strength and purpose in something greater than myself in my most dire time of need’ narrative or whatever like I FUCKING REFUSE, my belief system can go to the BACK OF THE LINE until I’m good and ready to deal with it on MY time, I didn’t sign on to do a rewrite of some modernized Book of Job shit, literally any other thought in my brain is invited to step the fuck right up because THANK YOU, NEXT, I just willingly made an Ariana Grande reference because I can think of nothing more suitably over the top dramatic short of tossing my hair which is much too short to toss but again I insist nooooooooooooooope.

Like, love you and miss you Aunt Diane, and if that is you looking out for me plz know I’m very grateful even tho it totally doesn’t sound like it, but like, you know me well enough to know that I like....object to this timing and context on principle, WHICH YES HELLO I AM AWARE SOUNDS FUCKING STUPID NOW THAT IM TYPING IT OUT YET IT PERSISTS SO LIKE WHATEVER AND STUFF....just. I am me, and thus I shall super gratefully take like....just a smidgen of hope and optimism or whatever from this offering so like, I don’t want to be RUDE, but then Im gonna put the rest of it back in its box and shove it alllll the way to the back of my Pressing Priorities and unpack all that at a very fucking much later date, thank you ever so much, because like....I gotta be me, and I have been partners in crime with my Cynicism for way too long to just bail on him now, like, what kind of person would I be if I just cut and run on the anthropomorphized negative outlook that has helped see me through life oh so jadedly until now?

Ugh wtf, why am I like this, is it free will or is it God or is God even real or did Cthulu eat god or is God’s actual name Sonya and like I have no clue where I’m going with any of this, look the answer is obviously that a faithless blasphemous heretical fucker has phone calls to make today, and nobody’s finding the light here, nope, nope, NOOOOOPE, my motel’s one shitty lightbulb works GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

#what was the point of all this?#idk #do I ever know?#no #the answer to that is no #oh and also plz dont reblog #this is just me screaming into the void #but like....digitally #because the metaphorical version of the void that exists in my head stopped taking my calls #fucking rude asshole

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