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pearwaldorf · 5 months

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I hate that you can't see a tweet thread anymore if you're not logged into Twitter (as a gesture of disrespect I refuse to call it by its rebranded name). Here is a copypasta of a thread from Dan Olson, a Canadian documentary filmmaker, expanding upon camera quality, the guilt trips Somerton used to goose his Patreon subscriptions, and how the best tools will never make up for lack of dedication or patience. I have added clarifications in [[double brackets]] where I feel it is necessary.

START OF THREAD

Okay, so, back in April I snapped at James in reply to a tweet that was linking to this video (which James has since delisted but not deleted) and I want to talk about the full context of that but I don't want to make a video, put your beatdown memes away. [[The video has since been deleted. I can see the title of the video is "Maybe the end (not an April Fool's Day thing".]]

The first bit of context is that I initially got keyed into James to fact-check his claims about indie filmmaking in Canada. As a filmmaker the entire Telos venture was immediately obvious as a juvenile fantasy dreamed up by someone with no idea how to make a movie.

Just wild claims about their plans that weren't worth debunking because they bordered Not Even Wrong. But in watching one of these pitch videos I noticed that he had a $4000 current-gen camera in the background as a prop, and that seemed both pretentious and weird.

You don't use your best camera as a prop, you use your second best camera as a prop. So being an obsessive weirdo I needed to know, and I watched his BTS stuff until I spotted his main rig, a $6000 camera with about $1000 in accessories.

Now, these in isolation are unremarkable because his Patreon at the time was bringing in ~$8000 per month, his channel was a full on Business business, and so investing in some professional equipment of that level is maybe a bit indulgent but justifiable.

What was weird is that he doesn't shoot multi-cam, doesn't shoot outdoors, doesn't shoot on location, and in a studio the two cameras kinda really step on each others' toes. Basically if you already have one and don't need a B cam there's no reason to get the other.

Again, on its own, this says nothing, it's just indicative of poor financial decisions, maybe impulsive purchasing, Gear Acquisition Syndrome. Biblical sins, but not crimes.

Paired with the constantly inflating fantasy scope of the Telos films it was clearly an expression of a very, very common bad filmmaker habit of "if I just get the right gear then my movie will basically make itself" Buying stuff because it feels like progress.

At the end of February he tweets "I want to start shooting anamorphic" and then three weeks later in March he posts the worst, out of focus, under-exposed "I just got a new lens!" video I've ever seen, showing off his trash-covered bedroom.

Based on what's available for his cameras and the lead time, that's enough time to get a Laowa Nanomorph or Sirui Saturn from B&H but not enough time to get a Great Joy from the UK or a Vazen from China. And with the flaring blah blah blah, $1300 lens.

Again, [gear acquisition syndrome] is not a crime and these lenses are budget options. Bit of a pointless impulse purchase since he only used it for the Showgirls video. But this is what he was doing just a few weeks before that above video came out: effortlessly impulse purchasing lenses.

James has (had?) a habit of regularly, aggressively driving viewers to Patreon by claiming that videos were getting demonetized. While tacky, it is something a lot of queer YouTubers have dealt with, so there's precedent there. But people were noticing he did it a lot.

Mid-March he humble brags about needing to work so hard to make 6 videos in April because he has over-booked sponsorships.

Then March 29th James posts this whole incel screed on Twitter about how sex work should be "subsidized as a mental health service."

[two image descriptions.

1. "For the majority of people sex (and human contact) can be imperative to a healthy state of mind. A kind and talented sex worker can make someone feel wanted for the first time in their life. I know sex workers who have pulled people back from suicide just by being there for them." 2. "Not only should (sex work) be legal, but it should be subsidized as a mental health service."]

He spends several days getting absolutely *roasted* for this, just dragged across the pavement and read for filth, and doubles down in the replies the whole way.

So this is the context immediately surrounding James waking up on Friday, and posts the above video and the below tweet.

[image description: "We just got the lowest Patreon payout we've gotten in well over a year. Like, a "maybe we need to rethink things" kind of amount... NOT an April Fools Day thing btw. But I don't know if we'll be making videos much longer."]

Now, this unfolds in kinda two directions. The first is that I'm convinced he was just lying about this income shock in the first place.

There's a million theoretical edge cases about what maybe happened and if maybe he just misunderstood the data or saw a glitch and panicked, maybe one of those happened, I don't believe it, I think he just lied because he was salty about getting dragged and felt owed a win.

A big tell to me is that he doesn't blame Patreon. He says he doesn't know what happened, but let's be real, Patreon screws up all the time, they're the first people anyone blames if anything confusing happens, just as a reflex action, even if it's completely not their fault.

The only reason to not blame Patreon is if you already know that it's not their fault and that any investigation on their part might reveal embarrassing details.

Instead he indirectly blames his viewers for not watching enough, not sharing enough, and not turning on auto-renew.

So regardless of the unknowable truth, this segues into the second, far more offensive direction of the messaging itself. "I don't know if we'll be making videos much longer." "Maybe the end" He explicitly framed this as an immediate existential threat to his channel.

In the video he is vague about everything, leaves a ton of hazy room for plausible deniability on how long the channel can keep going, but the messaging is "I need more patrons right this minute or my YouTube channel is over."

He repeatedly evokes all the "fun stuff" they had planned that would never see the light of day if this didn't turn around right away.

And his audience received this message loud and clear. Tons of people making far, far, far less than him left very heartfelt messages about digging a little deeper to subscribe or up their pledge or unsubscribe from other channels to move their pledge to his.

1200 new patrons in one day.

Since I simply don't believe the income shock was real in the first place that would put his post-"Maybe the end" Patreon income at around $10,000 per month. US. Add YouTube income, he's spent the last seven months making around $18,000 per month.

I have seen creators scale back their capabilities to the bone purely to keep making videos for the love of just, like, making stuff even as their funding evaporated and they needed to go back to a desk job to cover their bills.

You'd have to be so outstandingly reckless with your finances as a channel that a one month spook leads immediately to "channel over, sorry about all the fun stuff we won't get to do with you, our patrons, specifically because you, our patrons, aren't giving us enough money"

And not a spook where you then spend a couple weeks crunching numbers. Oh no. A shock so violent where less than two hours later you're weeping on camera about the channel being over.

Three weeks later he brought a brand new Sony FX6v for $8000 CAD to add to his pile of cinema cameras despite the fact that he was, but scant moments earlier, in such a precarious position that a single bad month would kill his channel.

He stole your money, and for that I'm profoundly sad and angry. That's why I snapped at him in April. I'm sorry I couldn't give you the full context then, and I'm sorry if that anger upset you.

END OF THREAD

#james somerton #dan olson #hbomberguy #jesus christ tumblr #it won't let me format things the way i want #because this website is sometimes a piece of shit

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sinecosinewheel · 1 year

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urgh. im gonna vent about smth stupid to avoid my actual problems

#wheeltext #IM LEARNING TO PLAY THE OCARINA #its awesome and cool and new. bad news. i am too stupid to play the ocarina #i know several zelda songs and i have pieces of other songs memorized but im javing trouble moving from tabs to sheet music #i cant read sheet music very fast and i keep having to stop and use mnemonics so i get frustrated and give up #but i cant improve if im playing the same 10 or so things all the time #there arent a ton of resources and nost of them are either too academic for me to parse or unhelpful #what the fuck is a time signature okay how do i remember it ok how does that relate to the notes son of a bitch im going to eat my ocarina #i might have to get into final fantasy just so i have something else to play bc all the fuckin tabs are loz or ff #i have an alto c (good-ish quality the high notes are airy and squeaky) and a p good quality soprano (hurts my ears)#but what i really wanna get is the fuckin. double oc #triples are really expensive and i dont really want one but a double chamber....my sweet potato grail #also im p sure theres only one thumb hole on the one i. looking at fucking SCORE!!! im sick of olaying #thumb hot potato #but i cant justifying like a 130 dollar purchase if im gonna fuckin commit to learnin it which means i gotta know what a scale is and a #keys and a aaaasrgrhgg #im just stressed out anyway everything will be fine later but now always sucks #im not fixing the spelling

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phoenixyfriend · 24 days

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"Why didn't the Jedi help Shmi after TPM?"

Why didn't Padmé.

Ignoring the expanded universe stuff about Qui-Gon sending the expensive lens or Padmé dispatching Sabé years later, so long after that Cliegg had already met, wooed, and saved up to free Shmi himself, why did Padmé not include "paying back the slave woman who helped me save my planet" in her post-invasion plans?

The Jedi have budgets that are regulated, to some unknown degree, by the Senate. Sure, there's probably some discretionary spending, but an Entire Slave would be flagged. Not a purchase you can hide easily! They're also NOT supposed to operate in Hutt Space unless undercover OR as official Republic envoys.

Padmé? Literally a queen. In the same galactic neighborhood. Has inherited wealth. Probably has room in her staff for a mechanic or something. Can easily justify freeing Shmi to her cabinet as payment for services rendered; remember, that Nubian hyperdrive was paid with Anakin's winnings, meaning they came at the cost of Shmi's freedom.

The real answer is that George Lucas needed Shmi to still be on Tatooine in AotC, and never bothered to expand on how Shmi was freed, himself, so other people took up the slack.

But if we ask why the Jedi didn't free Shmi, then I think we also need to ask: why didn't Padmé?

(I love Padmé. I fully believe she would have sent someone to free Shmi after Naboo was in order post-Invasion, and that it was just an oversight or even plot necessity from G Lucas. I just dislike the double standards of hating on the Jedi for not helping when Padmé is right next door and has That Cash Money.)

#Phoenix Talks #star wars #shmi skywalker #padme amidala #pro Jedi #discourse #original trilogy

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najia-cooks · 6 months

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[ID: A decorative orange ceramic plate with a pyramid of green herbs and sesame seeds, topped with deep red sumac and more sesame seeds. End ID]

زعتر فلسطيني / Za'tar falastinia (Palestinian spice blend)

Za'tar (زَعْتَر; also transliterated "za'atar," "zaatar" and "zatar") is the name of a family of culinary herbs; it is also the name of a group of spice blends made by mixing these herbs with varying amounts of olive oil, sumac, salt, roasted sesame seeds, and other spices. Palestinian versions of za'tar often include caraway, aniseed, and roasted wheat alongside generous portions of sumac and sesame seeds. The resulting blend is bold, zesty, and aromatic, with a hint of floral sourness from the sumac, and notes of licorice and anise.

Za'tar is considered by Palestinians to have particular national, political, and personal importance, and exists as a symbol of both Israeli oppression and Palestinian home-making and resistance. Its major components, olive oil and wild thyme, are targeted by the settler state in large part due to their importance to ecology, identity, and trade in Palestine—settlers burn and raze Palestinian farmers' olive trees by the thousands each year. A 1977 Israeli law forbade the harvesting of wild herbs within its claimed borders, with violators of the law risking fines and confiscation, injury, and even death from shootings or land mines; in 2006, za'tar was further restricted, such that even its possession in the West Bank was met with confiscation and fines.

Despite the blanket ban on harvesting wild herbs (none of which are endangered), Arabs are the only ones to be charged and fined for the crime. Samir Naamnih calls the ban an attempt to "starve us out," given that foraging is a major source of food for many Palestinians, and that picking and selling herbs is often the sole form of income for impoverished families. Meanwhile, Israeli farmers have domesticated and farmed za'tar on expropriated Palestinian land, selling it (both the herb and the spice mixture) back to Palestinians, and later marketing it abroad as an "Israeli" blend; they thus profit from the ban on wild harvesting of the herb. This farming model, as well as the double standard regarding harvesting, refer back to an idea that Arabs are a primitive people unfit to own the land, because they did not cultivate or develop it as the settlers did (i.e., did not attempt to recreate a European landscape or European models of agriculture); colonizing and settling the land are cast as justified, and even righteous.

The importance of the ban on foraging goes beyond the economic. Raya Ziada, founder of an acroecology nonprofit based in Ramallah, noted in 2019 that "taking away access to [wild herbs] doesn't just debilitate our economy and compromise what we eat. It's symbolic." Za'tar serves variously as a symbol of Palestinians' connection to the land and to nature; of Israeli colonial dispossession and theft; of the Palestinian home ("It’s a sign of a Palestinian home that has za’tar in it"); and of resistance to the colonial regime, as many Palestinians have continued to forage herbs such as za'tar and akkoub in the decades since the 1977 ban. Resistance to oppression will continue as long as there is oppression.

Palestine Action has called for bail fund donations to aid in their storming, occupying, shutting down, and dismantling of factories and offices owned by Israeli arms manufacturer Elbit Systems. Also contact your representatives in the USA, UK, and Canada.

Ingredients:

Za'tar (Origanum syriacum), 250g once dried (about 4 cups packed)

250g (1 2/3 cup) sesame seeds

170g (3/4 cup) Levantine sumac berries, or ground sumac (Rhus coriaria)

100g (1/2 cup) wheat berries (optional)

2 Tbsp olive oil

1 Tbsp aniseed (optional)

1/2 Tbsp caraway seeds (optional)

Levantine wild thyme (also known as Bible hyssop, Syrian oregano, and Lebanese oregano) may be purchased dried online. You may also be able to find some dried at a halal grocery store, where it will be labelled "زعتر" (za'tar) and "thym," "thyme," or "oregano." Check to make sure that what you're buying is just the herb and not the prepared mixture, which is also called "زعتر." Also ensure that what you're buying is not a product of Israel.

If you don't have access to Levantine thyme, Greek or Turkish oregano are good substitutes.

Wheat berries are the wheat kernel that is ground to produce flour. They may be available sold as "wheat berries" at a speciality health foods store. They may be omitted, or replaced with pre-ground whole wheat flour.

Instructions:

1. Harvest wild thyme and remove the stems from the leaves. Wash the leaves in a large bowl of water and pat dry; leave in a single layer in the sun for four days or so, until brittle. Skip this step if using pre-dried herbs.

2. Crumble leaves by rubbing them between the palms of your hands until they are very fine. Pass through a sieve or flour sifter into a large bowl, re-crumbling any leaves that are too coarse to get through.

Crumbling between the hands is an older method. You may also use a blender or food processor to grind the leaves.

3. Mix the sifted thyme with a drizzle of olive oil and work it between your hands until incorporated.

4. Briefly toast sumac berries, caraway seeds, and aniseed in a dry skillet over medium heat, then grind them to a fine powder in a mortar and pestle or a spice mill.

5. Toast sesame seeds in a dry skillet over medium heat, stirring constantly, until deeply golden brown.

6. (Optional) In a dry skillet on medium-low, toast wheat berries, stirring constantly, until they are deeply golden brown. Grind to a fine powder in a spice mill. If using ground flour, toast on low, stirring constantly, until browned.

Some people in the Levant bring their wheat to a local mill to be ground after toasting, as it produces a finer and more consistent texture.

7. Mix all ingredients together and work between your hands to incorporate.

Store za'tar in an airtight jar at room temperature. Mix with olive oil and use as a dipping sauce with bread.

#spice blends #Palestinian #Levantine #za’tar

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zvaigzdelasas · 6 months

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A furious diplomatic spat between Israel and the United Nations has broken out, with Israeli officials calling for the resignation of Secretary General Antonio Guterres after he said Hamas’ October 7 attacks on the country “did not happen in a vacuum.” At a Security Council meeting, Guterres called for a humanitarian ceasefire on Tuesday amid the deepening crisis in Gaza, and told the Security Council that “clear violations of international humanitarian law” are being witnessed. He called Hamas’ October 7 murder and kidnap rampage “appalling,” and said “nothing can justify the deliberate killing, injuring and kidnapping of civilians, or the launching of rockets against civilian targets.” “It is important to also recognize the attacks by Hamas did not happen in a vacuum,” Guterres said. “The Palestinian people have been subjected to 56 years of suffocating occupation. They have seen their land steadily devoured by settlements and plagued by violence; their economy stifled; their people displaced and their homes demolished.”[...]

His comments angered Israeli Foreign Minister Eli Cohen, who was in the chamber as Guterres spoke. “In what world do you live?” said Cohen. “Definitely, this is not our world.” Writing on social media later, Cohen said that “after the October 7th massacre, there is no place for a balanced approach. Hamas must be erased off the face of the planet!” Israel’s ambassador to the United Nations, Gilad Erdan, called on Guterres to resign, saying he had “expressed an understanding for terrorism and murder.” Then, on Wednesday, Erdan said his country will block visas for United Nations officials. It had already rejected an application by the UN Under-Secretary-General for Humanitarian Affairs and Emergency Relief Coordinator, Martin Griffiths, Erdan told the Israeli Army Radio channel. “It’s time we teach them a lesson,” added Erdan.[...]

In an effort to “set the record straight,” Guterres said Wednesday he was “shocked by misinterpretations by some of my statement yesterday in the Security Council – as if I was was justifying acts of terror by Hamas.”[...]

But Guterres did not back away from his Tuesday call for a ceasefire, or from his nod towards the historical treatment of Palestinians. The main United Nations agency working in Gaza said it would be forced to halt its operations by Wednesday evening due to a lack of fuel, with the territory having faced days of airstrikes and near-total blockade following the Hamas attacks. Efforts in the UN to endorse a ceasefire have so far been scuppered, with the US vetoing a draft resolution raised by Brazil last week.

Secretary of State Antony Blinken on Tuesday told the agency that “humanitarian pauses must be considered” to allow aid to reach civilians in Gaza, though he notably avoided the phrase “ceasefire.”[...]

The World Health Organization meanwhile reiterated calls on Tuesday for a ceasefire, saying it is “unable to distribute fuel and essential, life-saving health supplies to major hospitals in northern Gaza due to lack of security guarantees.” Six hospitals in Gaza have been forced to shut due to a lack of fuel, WHO added.

There's literally no (0 (zero)) purchase gained by equivocating w these people btw. It is in fact seen as weakness [25 Oct 23]

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faraway-there · 1 year

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My online shopping cart for the store is currently full of cold brew and potato chips. And eggs, but the coffee and chips seem to outweigh that.

#personal #not sure I’m really purchasing it any time soon #but I need eggs but don’t want to go into a store so I have to justify pickup with a full order #I feel like this should say a lot about me as a person #I’ll check back in with myself later this week #by then I’ll need green onions and cilantro for vegan menudo this weekend #I’m just procrastinating on sleep if we can’t tell

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vivwritesfics · 8 months

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Keep on Rolling - MV1

Chapter 2.5

Summary: Lando's best friend having feelings for anyone on the grid? Impossible, right? She worked with them, sharing her friendship with the grid with the world via the FormulaY/N youtube channel.

After film a video including... spicy water (alcohol), everything changes between her and a certain world champion. Good thing she hasn't had a crush on him since his F1 debut, right?

Right?

500 words

This one is just a filler chapter. You don't have to read it for the rest of the story, but it may come up again (this'll just give context to something coming up later in the story)

Series Masterlist

"You look like shit," said Charles as he walked over to Y/N. She looked up at him and glared, although he couldn't see it through her sunglasses.

"You don't and I hate you for it," she threw back.

Charles sat on the chair beside her. "That's because most of us stopped drinking when we felt tipsy. Because we're, you know, grown-up, sensible Formula One drivers," he explained.

"Ass," she muttered under her breath. "Can we go and get food?"

Charles stood up and helped Y/N to her feet. They left the hotel and wandered around the streets of Miami until they found a quaint little cafe.

With seats out front and a bookshelf in the back. It wasn't that busy, and the pastries displayed in the window looked lovely. The seating area in front of the cafe was surrounded with bright and colourful flowers. The seats themselves were black and metal, covered in cushions that looked designed by Cath Kidston. Umbrellas covered them, keeping the seats in the shade.

Y/N sat down while Charles went inside and got them their coffees. He came back out and sat beside opposite Y/N. She still hadn't taken off the sunglasses. "Have you seen the footage from last night yet?" He asked.

A waitress came over with a tray full of coffee and pastries. She set them down, tucked the tray under her arm and walked away.

Picking up the coffee, Y/N took a long sip. "Not yet," she said. "I don't think I'm brave enough to look at it."

Charles let out something close to a giggle. Not quite a laugh but still more than a giggle. "You should be looking forward to it. It was good fun," he said, picking up his pastry.

"I need to tell you something," she said suddenly and put down her coffee. This was serious. Charles still had a hold of his pastry, but he wasn't eating it, instead waiting for Y/N to say something. She took in a breath and began. "Last night, after you all left, Max stayed behind."

Charles' eyes went wide. "You didn't..."

"No! No, Charles, no. Oh my god, no. At least, I don't think so. He was still dressed and I was under the covers, so I think we're in the clear," she explained and went back to drinking her coffee.

"So Max took care of you when you were drunk. What's the problem with that?"

Y/N's empty coffee cup hit the little dish it usually sat in. "The problem is that I... liked waking up beside him," she said, nibbling on her pastry. Her head was far too sore for this.

"You have a crush on Max?"

She shook her head. "Crush is such a childish word. Let's just say I have a thing for him and I wouldn't mind if he had a thing for me."

They finished up in the coffee shop and left, wandering around the streets of Miami. They didn't go back to the hotel room right away. Y/N went into a shop, one specifically for tourists, and bought a fridge magnet. To commemorate the trip, she thought, justifying her purchase.

Like she needed any more memories from this trip.

(The middle picture is the design I picture on the seat covers)

Taglist (Open): @sticksdoesart @eviethetheatrefreak @eugene-emt-roe @glai1023-blog @mqcherie @itsjustkhaos @chonkybonky

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thinkingaboutjaedyn · 4 months

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five things about you [k.ohara x reader]

prompt: five things kelley does while you're pregnant that makes you fall more inlove with her.

author notes: i think this is finally the end of my writers block. i have so many requests in my inbox, and i swear i'll get to them eventually (sooner than later i hope). hope y'all enjoy this kelley fluff!

I. how she talks to your belly when she thinks you're sleeping

ever since you started to show a bit with a small belly bump kelley has been talking to it. the moment you drift off to sleep she places her hands gently on your belly and places a few soft kisses on the skin there. smiling as she quietly says whatever comes to mind.

"your momma ate lots of fruit today, i hope you liked them" she says. laughing when she remembers how you refused to eat anything but fruit the whole day. claiming that anything else would be too nasty, too bitter. you needed something sweet and only that. "she walked around a lot today too. couldn't sit down until i picked her up and put her on the couch. did that bother you? huh, baby?" kelley smiles, placing another kiss on your belly.

what kelley doesn't realize is that you are wide awake, just too tired from the day to open your eyes. ever since you gotten pregnant you have became a light sleeper (one of the worst things pregnancy have gifted you in your opinion). it takes everything in you to not smile and tangle your fingers in the brunette's hair. however instead of doing that, you just let kelley continue saying nonsense to your swollen belly. internally reminding yourself to tease her about this when you two's baby is born, but for now you let her indulge.

II. how she lifts up your belly every time you complain about the weight

kelley has been very in tune with any pains you had since you started to show symptoms of pregnancy. finding a way to help with every one or aleast a way to support you though it. when your feet started to swell, she would massage them or carry you wherever you wanted to go even if you complained about how you would be too heavy. same with when your back started to hurt, she massages it with such care that you swear she must have took some classes. weird cravings? don't worry she already is on her way to the store to buy them.

your all time favorite though is definitely when your wife takes it upon herself to relieve you of some of that belly bump weight.

"is this good enough for you, babes?" kelley says against your ear as her hands up under your belly. smiling as she lifts up your bump. placing a kiss on your cheek when you groan out in satisfaction. "very good. thank you, baby" you say. turning your head to give a kiss in appreciation. the brunette hums into the kiss, savoring the domesticity of the moment.

III. how she excited she gets when you two go baby shopping

the best part of your pregnancy is the shopping part. going into different shops as you look at various adorable baby clothes, toys, and strollers makes all the pain worth it. the mental gymnastics you jump though to justify some of your purchases are sorta insane, but it's not like kelley is complaining. far from it. if she could spend half of her day in the shops, looking at baby clothes, she would.

you two's hands are interlocking as y'all walk into a small boutique. d.c is littered with similar shops like these and you enjoy that fact very much. the shop is nicely decorated with baby blue, white, and a light yellow being the main colors. you let go of kelley's hand to go over to the clothes section and you assume kelley walks over to the toys section as you hear a baby rattle that your wife is most likely playing with right now.

"pink or purple..?" you mumble to yourself as your hands rest on some baby dresses. the little ruffles on the dresses making you wish the baby was here faster than your due date. your indecision doesn't last long as you feel the presence of someone besides you. before you can even turn to see who it is, their voice already tells you who it is.

"do you think our little girl is going to like dinosaurs or whales?" kelley says with a t-rex plushie in one arm and a humpback whale plushie in the other. both are absolutely adorable, but you find kelley the most adorable out of the three. "does it really matter? she can just like both, so get both" you say as you go back to back to looking at the dresses.

"but babeee, it does matter!" kelley half shouts, half whispers. "little kids usually fixate on just one thing and i don't wanna get her the one she wouldn't fixate on" she pouts at your lack of attention to the obviously very big problem at the moment. you giggle, turning towards her fully to look at the plushies again. "i don't think that's actually true but okay baby, whatever you say" you grab onto the whale plushie and pull it out of kelley's grasp. holding it up to eye level to really get a look at it.

"hm.. this one," you hand the plushie back to your wife. she smiles at you before frowning again, "but what if you're wrong?"

"why would i be wrong? i'm the one giving birth to the little rascal."

"for one, she's not a rascal and for two, you can still be wrong babe!"

"okay okay, just get both" you say. kelley just nods before walking off, probably back to the toys aisle.

now back to those dresses..

IV. how she always carries you at every opportunity like you weigh nothing

it didn't matter if you were in pain or not, kelley was always quick to pick you up bridal style. you always whine that "you're too heavy" but your wife doesn't really care.

it's another day where your back is killing you and your feet feel like they are water balloons just waiting to pop. you try to ignore the pain by laying down on the couch and drowning yourself in stupid rom-coms until kelley makes it back home.

that method only works for so long so when you hear the sound of the front door opening, you sit up and call out for kelley, "babe!"

"hm? what is it, baby?" she says as she walks into the living room. dropping her bag down near the end of the couch. she realizes what is the problem as she notices how you are still on the couch just like how you were two hours ago when you were on the phone with her. "baby hurting you?" kelley chuckles as you nod, coming around the couch to stand next to where you are sitting up at. taking a single finger to lightly tap on your stomach, "bad baby."

"don't be mean to my princess," you joke, giving kelley a light slap on her hand. she grabs onto your hand and gives it a kiss before placing a kiss on your baby bump. "sorry, little one. just wish you didn't cause your momma so much pain," she says as she lays her head against the bump.

you smile hearing her words. letting out a light yawn that makes kelley look up from your belly to you.

"tired?"

"mhm. been tired the entire day, but i didn't feel like walking up the stairs to bed.." you mumble. the obvious sleepiness in your voice makes kelley frown. she stands up before picking up without any warning. you yelp in surprise, slapping your wife gently on the shoulder. laughter flows from your lips as kelley starts to walk out of the living room. you don't start whining about how you weight too much until she reaches the stairs. "i'm way too big to be carried up a flight of stairs," you whine out. trying to get out of kelley's grasp, but she holds onto you tight enough that you can't wiggle out of her arms.

"never too heavy for me. if that ever happens i guess i just need to hit the gym more," the brunette laughs out. empathizing her point as she easily walks up the stairs with you in her arms. not faltering once.

she takes you right into you two's bedroom and lays you down on the bed. placing a kiss on your forehead before going over to the closet to grab one of her oversized shirts. throwing it to you as she walks back over to the bed. "too sleep in. want you to be all comfy," kelley lays down on the bed beside you. "thanks baby" you say as you change into the shirt, being too lazy to change out of your pajama shorts.

it takes only ten minutes for you to slip off to sleep after your head hits the pillow. of course you wake back up five minutes later, turning over to cuddle into kelley's side before drifting back off. she places soft kisses all your face as you drift off, admiring how peaceful you look.

V. how she proudly shows you off

kelley considers herself to be a pretty private person when it comes to relationships. you two's relationship wasn't even confirmed until you posted a photo of your engagement two years ago. however, she was happy to show off your pregnancy. posting a photo dump of you being adorable doing pregnant wifey things every couple months. she just finds you to be even more beautiful after getting pregnant. that baby glow was doing wonders for you.

it was the day of the baby shower alex and your sister helped to plan. kristie was also the one to help you pick out an aesthetic for the venue, but that was pretty much it.

you have cried about five times since the party started. once because seeing your family come out made you emotional, another two times because all of kelley's friends were sweethearts especially alex who is by your side for a majority of the event, one more time after seeing harper (sam bought along some of her aussie friends and katrina wouldn't miss the opportunity to come to a baby shower) running around with charlie which made you think of the baby that is ready to pop in your belly, and one last time because the vanilla cake was really good.

after eating, it was time to reveal the gender of the baby to you two's family and friends. kelley's arm is resting over your shoulder as you hold a white balloon in your hands.

"ready, baby?" she whispers to you. smiling once you nod.

"alright!" kelley says loudly to the mini crowd infront of you two. "one, two, three!" they count down. on three kelley pokes the balloon and it pops out pink confetti. lynn is the first to gasp out in celebration and pretty soon everyone follows after.

while everyone else is celebrating the reveal, kelley is pulling you into a hug. your arms go to wrap around her neck. tears threatening to fall from your eyes despite having already known the gender of the baby before the whole event. "i don't even know why i'm about to cry. we both already knew it was a babygirl," you say into kelley's shoulder. she pulls back a bit to look at her. wiping the tears that did manage to escape from your eyes. "it's okay. it's not just about the reveal, but having everyone here with us makes it so special. i almost cried but you know.. i would rather not being teased forever" she reassures you.

you two take a few more moments to talk before celebrating with the rest of your friends and family.

later on in the evening, long after the kiddos attending the party were put to sleep, all of the adults sit at the tables. kelley and you are back standing at the front of the venue where all the gifts are. a glass of wine sits nicely in your wife's hands with her other hand resting on your belly.

"okay firstly i would like to thank everyone for coming out, we loved seeing you all. secondly i want to thank the beautiful woman standing next to me right now.." the brunette smiles as you roll your eyes in mock annoyance. "i want to thank my beautiful wife, y/n, for being the perfect woman for me. who happily supports me with every venture i done and is always there for me. you're going to be a great mother once this little one pops. love you, baby" she says before pulling you into a short kiss.

you almost use your hand to shelter you two but decide against it. the damage is already done and you can already hear sam starting her teasing. emily of course has to jump in on it too.

looks like kelley isn't going to go tease-free today after all.

#kelley ohara x reader #kelley o'hara #uswnt x reader #uswnt #woso fanfics #woso x reader

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harry-on-broadway · 1 year

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Snapshot

Word Count: 3.4K || Rating: M

A/N: This is my super late entry into the SweetandSpicyFicChallenge I hosted with @hslllot and @harrysblackcoat. It’s a sweet little blurb (with a hint of spice) inspired by the coziest photo of Harry to exist. Enjoy!

***

2017

“Stop!”

You put your hand in front of your face, hoping to block Harry’s advances.

“Just one more,” he said, laughing.

“That’s what you said five minutes ago.”

“It’s not my fault you’re this beautiful.”

Click.

You heard the camera shutter and put your hand down, figuring you were safe for a minute. Harry’s head was bent over the device. He frowned as he looked at the back of the camera.

“I think it’s out of film.”

“Are you sad you can’t use your new toy anymore?”

“Yes,” he sighed. “The lighting is almost perfect and I just wanted one good photo of you.”

You bit back your sarcastic reply upon hearing the earnestness in his voice. The film camera had been a recent vacation purchase, with Harry justifying it by saying he’d been looking for a new hobby and always planned on learning photography. In the days that followed, he’d started practicing, taking pictures of the view from your Paris hotel room, the flowers you saw at the market, and to your displeasure, you. You knew you should be flattered by his admiration and dedication to preserving you for eternity on film, but being hounded by a camera when you just wanted to relax was no fun. Harry of all people should know that.

“Harry, we can pick up more film tomorrow. Let’s just go to dinner now.”

He pouted. “Do you promise? You’re not just saying that? Because I know how you feel about the camera.”

“Yes, Harry, I promise we can get more film tomorrow. But I’m getting hangry and need to eat. Food. Now.”

He placed the camera on his nightstand. “Alright then, let’s go since someone needs to be fed.” He slung his arm around you, pulling you close before you all headed out into the Parisian night.

***

2018

“Right then, we have to get it on this try. There are no second chances.” He looked at you to make sure you understood.

“Yes sir,” you said, getting into position.

“Sir?” He arched his brow.

“Oh you liked that?”

“Yeah, but we’ll get into that later.” He placed his hands on your hips and positioned you how he wanted, back to the lake where the sun was rising. “OK, when I say cheese, we’re smiling.”

“Harry, I know. I’ve taken a picture before.”

In the year since he bought his camera, he’d graduated from taking pictures of you and his surroundings, and had started incorporating what he described as “self-portraits” of the two of you in the mix, an interesting technique for someone who despised selfies any other time.

He took his place beside you, resting his left arm across your shoulders and using his right to position the camera in front of your faces.

“One, two, three, cheese!” he said as his finger pressed down on the shutter, the flash momentarily blinding both of you. “That’s going to be a great one, I just know it.”

“Doesn’t it bother you?” you asked as he put the camera back in the case. “Not knowing how it looks until later? Like what if it doesn’t turn out? You can’t recreate the moment.”

“It’s a game of chance but it’s kind of fun.” The corner of his mouth lifted. “We might not be able to recreate the moment, but we’ll always have the memory.”

“So when I look at that overexposed picture of me on the beach, I’ll always remember how annoying you were when I was trying to sleep.”

He kissed you. “Yes, and when we get this roll back and I’ve invariably misjudged how to frame both of us, we’ll always remember how overconfident I was that time at the lake.”

“In more ways than one,” you grimaced, remembering how the canoe you all had rented the day before had tipped after Harry insisted he knew how to steer.

“I heard that!”

“That was my intention!”

***

2019

“Please? I promise I’ll be careful.”

“Since when have you been interested in film photography?”

You and Harry were seated outside of a cafe in Tokyo, bundled up against the cold temperatures as you waited for your tea. He’d been in the city working on his new album and after a few weeks of settling in, he’d invited you to come out and spend some time with him. You could tell he loved Japan. There was an extra pep in his step and he lit up whenever he was able to take you to one of his favorite spots.

“I just want to learn. You’re like an expert now and maybe I want to be able to take a turn.”

“I sense an ulterior motive.”

“You’re right, Harry. It’s my evil plan to get payback for you harassing me with the camera for years.”

“I knew it!” His eyes crinkled as his face scrunched with delight. “We can stop by the apartment and pick it up after this. Get some practice in while we do some sightseeing?”

“That’s perfect.”

You spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around Tokyo with the man you were certain was the love of your life. While he knew how to press your buttons and often enjoyed riling you up, he was unbelievably patient with you that day. He coached you through it all, helping you capture snapshots of buildings and dogs and even your dinner, offering gentle corrections whenever you went wrong.

That night, when you returned to the apartment you were calling home for the duration of your stay, you were still messing around with the camera and had started to see why Harry enjoyed it so much.

“Are you almost done?” Harry asked from the couch. The long day showed on his face and you knew that while he’d never admit it, he was tired and desperately ready for bed.

“Just one more,” you murmured, placing the camera in front of your eye and lining up Harry in the viewfinder. In the small square you could see him, curled up on the couch, head resting on his hand as he scrolled through his phone. You held your breath, not wanting to disturb him in this near perfect moment. As your finger pressed down on the shutter, he looked up, almost as if he had sixth sense.

“Another one?” he asked, a tired smile on his face.

“What? I learned from the best!”

You had no clue if the picture had turned out or not, but if you’d somehow managed to not fuck it up, you knew it would be your favorite.

***

2020

“Tell me what it is!”

“No!”

Harry pouted. “Please. Please tell me. I’m getting desperate here.”

You doused the package that had just arrived in Lysol, hoping that would be enough to fight off whatever was lurking on the cardboard. “If you keep whining, you’re not going to find out.”

“Fine. Should I start lunch?”

“Sure. I left some carrots and tomatoes on the cutting board if you want to throw those in a salad? I’m going to run this upstairs and then I can help.”

Harry raised an eyebrow, but didn’t question you any further. You scurried up the stairs and when you reached the bedroom, you looked behind you one more time to make sure that you were in fact alone. Confident that you were, you tore the tape off of the package and dumped its contents onto the bed.

Boredom was starting to set in after three weeks locked in the house, and with no end in sight, you’d decided to order a little entertainment for the both of you. Lingerie in a variety of colors and styles covered the bed. You sorted through the pieces, making sure the sizes were correct before hiding them in the drawer you thought Harry would be least likely to look in and heading back to meet him in the kitchen.

The two of you spent the afternoon just as you’d spent all the afternoons before, lounging by the pool, swimming laps, and planning your next meal. You put thoughts of your plan out of your head until just before dinner when you slipped on a lacy bra and panties underneath your shirt and shorts.

Dinner was essentially a repeat of the last 21 nights you’d spent together, though you didn’t mind the repetition, savoring the mundane moments with Harry after so many years of chaos. When you saw him rise from the table and head to the sink to start washing up, you put your plan into motion.

You crept up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing your face between his shoulder blades.

“Hello there,” Harry said with a chuckle. “Can I help you?”

“I didn’t think we were done,” you purred in your best attempt at a seductive whisper.

“Did you want dessert? I think there’s some ice cream in the freezer. There might be some of the pound cake left too.”

“That wasn’t what I had in mind.”

“Oh.”

Harry turned around to face you. “I’m in the mood for something a little spicier,” you said, pulling him towards you and planting an open-mouth kiss on him.

“Bedroom?” he asked, breathing heavily.

“Yes, and don’t forget your camera.”

By the time Harry had made it upstairs, panting as though he’d sprinted a mile, you’d shed your clothes and had reclined on the bed in the little red number you’d unpacked earlier that day.

“I’m ready for my close up,” you said, a hint of shyness creeping up on you. While phone and FaceTime sex was nothing unfamiliar, there was something strangely intimate about exposing yourself in a way that would be captured permanently.

“Fuck,” Harry whispered, slowly lifting the camera up. Click. Click. Click. “You look incredible, baby,” he said, pulling his eye away from the viewfinder to gaze at you in full. “Now how about you take that off.”

***

2021

“Big night, huh?” Nervous energy had been pulsing through the Vegas hotel room you were sharing with Harry, who was presently ignoring you. “Not even a smile, H? Come on!”

He looked up from his phone and pressed his lips together in an expression that might have resembled a smile if you had been standing across the room, squinting at him.

“Baby, don’t be nervous. You’ve been waiting so long for this, just like everyone else. It’s going to be amazing.”

“What if I’ve lost it?” His question caught you off guard.

“Your…talent?”

“Yeah. It’s been awhile. I’m kind of rusty.”

“That’s true you haven’t performed for anyone except me in 18 months.”

“And those shows are just for you.” His lips curled into a cheeky grin. “Can’t give the goods away to everyone.”

“I’d hope not.”

You reached across the sofa and squeezed his arm. “Seriously though, you could just stand on stage doing nothing and they’d love you. Everyone’s just so happy to be able to be together again.”

“I know, I know. It just feels like a big responsibility, performing, keeping people healthy, showing that we can do it all safely.”

“And there’s no one more prepared than you.” You pressed your lips against the back of his hand. “I’m going to shower. Are you going to head out?”

He glanced at the time on his phone. “Yeah, I probably should. Start getting ready.” Like clockwork there was a knock at the door, summoning him to the venue. He sighed. “I’ll see you there?”

“Of course. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

He gave you a quick kiss, and you smiled at the casual display of affection. In the early days of your relationship every hug, kiss, cuddle, and fuck had been a production, with both of you giving it everything you had since you didn’t know when you’d see each other next. But after a year and a half together, knowing that Harry was only a room away, you didn’t feel the need to rush everything, a luxury you never thought you’d be afforded.

You arrived at the venue a couple hours later and made your way backstage. Your goal was always to stay out of sight, though Harry had a habit of bringing you into the fray. As you milled about the edge of the crowd that surrounded him, you managed to catch his eye. He was listening to the crew member that was walking him through something, but his gaze was locked on you the entire time. Though his mouth was covered, you could tell he was smiling based on the way the corners of his eyes crinkled. You were about to approach him when the crew began to pile around him, helping him climb into the box that would transport him under the stage. You quickly blew him a kiss, which he caught and slipped into his pants pocket.

With Harry ready to go, you followed Jeff out into the arena, feeling the butterflies swirl in your stomach as the show’s intro began. The crowd’s energy was contagious and you could feel your heart thudding as Harry ascended to the stage. You knew this was coming, having watched him rehearse it several times before and your phone was in your hand, ready to capture the moment.

You didn’t get a chance to look at the image until later that night when Harry was snoring beside you in bed. It wasn’t the perfect picture – the way your phone camera caught the light caused a bit of a lens flare, slightly obscuring Harry’s body, but his face was clear, the joy and happiness he felt evident by the huge smile on his face.

You never wanted to forget that moment.

You immediately set it as your lock screen.

***

2022

“You are worse than my mum!”

“I know you mean that as an insult, but your mother is an amazing woman, so I’ll take it as a compliment.”

“Well, I don’t think we need to capture the car ride to the Today show.”

“She said she wanted updates on everything. And who am I to deny her that?” You positioned your phone in front of Harry’s face and snapped a quick picture. His disgruntled scowl filled your screen and you laughed. “The least you could do is smile.”

“What will it take for you to leave me alone? Ten dollars? Fifteen?”

“That’s all you have to offer me? A fifteen dollar bribe?”

“Hmm.” He drummed his index finger against his lip. “I’ll throw in a kiss.”

You pretended to ponder the offer before dropping your phone in your lap. “You drive a hard bargain.”

He laughed lightly, reaching across the center seat to interlace his fingers with yours. “I know it’s a big week and that everyone wants to cheer me on every moment, but I also just kind of want things to be normal, you know. Just five minutes where it’s not all about me. To balance it all out.”

“Well then, I guess now would be the perfect time for me to bring up the fact that you left your socks and underwear on the floor of the bathroom for the third day in a row. How hard is it to pick up after yourself? Just because you have an album coming out doesn’t mean you’re off the hook when it comes to chores.” He was smiling at you now, the scowl from earlier long gone.

“Oh! Also, I need your advice on a couple of things. First, I’m getting my nails done tomorrow and I need to decide which shape I should do, and the color. I’m feeling like maybe a glitter? And then I wanted to try this new coffee. And the Instagram I saw it on said it’s best with almond milk. But I don’t like almond milk. So do you think it would work with oat milk?”

Harry nodded thoughtfully. “First, my sincerest apologies about the underwear. It won’t happen again.”

“Famous last words.”

He squeezed your hand. “Second, you should absolutely do a glitter and maybe whatever the pointy shape is?”

“Why?”

“Feels nice when you have long nails and scratch at my hair and…other things.” You shot him a surprised glance as he flushed. “Anyways,” he continued, clearing his throat. “I don’t think the milk matters. You won’t be able to taste it with all the flavoring.”

The car came to a stop and you could hear the screams from the crowd, even with the windows shut. Harry took a deep breath and you scratched at his arm.

“I have some serious questions for you about what dog breed I most resemble, but we can get into that whenever you're done with this thing.” You gestured out the window.

Harry smiled, the first true authentic one to grace his lips that morning. “Thank you,” he said.

You knew exactly what he meant. “Anytime, baby.” You picked your phone up again. “But just one more for the road.”

***

2023

“One more step. And another one.”

Harry’s voice was low in your ear, his hands were over your eyes as he guided you into the living room of your London home. You all walked awkwardly, you standing in front of him as he nudged you, one step at a time, further into the room.

“Wouldn’t it have been easier to just blindfold me?” you huffed as he stepped on the back of your heel for the third time.

“So you’re not enjoying this?” You could hear the smirk in his voice.

“You stepping on me? No, not particularly.” Your shin made contact with what you assumed was the coffee table and you yelped. “Harry, for the love of God just tell me what’s going on.”

“Calm down, don’t get yourself all worked up. But keep your eyes closed” He moved his hands down to your shoulders and spun you around so you were facing the opposite direction. Opposite of what you didn’t know, but you could feel Harry wrap his arms around your waist. “OK, you can open them.”

When you opened your eyes, you blinked several times adjusting to the dim light that surrounded you, and once your vision had been restored, your jaw dropped.

The painting that usually hung on the wall in your living room had been removed, and a clothesline had been strung in its place, zig-zagging across the wall. “Is that-?” You turned to look at Harry.

“Why don’t you go see?”

You stepped forward out of his grasp and determined that your first impression was right. Small photographs had been hung on the line with clothespins. Photographs from every stage of your relationship with Harry.

Group shots from those early outings when you were both too scared to make a move, instead settling for the buffer of mutual friends. Photographs from the first vacation you took with one another, the fateful trip when he’d bought his first film camera. Pictures from every family gathering, big and small. Selfies snapped at concerts, goofy Snapchats with every filter imaginable, and even a portrait your mother had taken of you at your graduation – you were smiling wide, looking straight at the camera while Harry beamed at you, his pride evident.

You felt the tears involuntarily well in your eyes as you were overcome by the realization of just how much Harry loved you and how much you loved him. “H, this is incredible but what’s this all for?” You turned around to face him, and you couldn’t tell if it was your own blurry vision, but it looked like Harry was crying too.

“We’ve been through so much and have so many snapshots of our lives. But I want a whole fucking album with you.” Time moved in slow motion as he reached into his pocket and sank down onto one knee. He held a film canister in his hand and when he opened it, a ring fell out. “What do you say, love? Do you want to keep me in the picture forever?”

You laughed, cheeks wet, as you nodded. “Of course.”

Harry rose from the floor, slipping the ring onto your finger before he kissed you with a passion you’d never felt before. You looked up at him when you all broke apart, frowning when you saw him fishing around in his pockets again.

“H, I don’t think anything can beat this surprise.”

“Don’t worry,” he said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and holding you close as he lifted his phone. “I just want to capture this moment.”

***

talk to me!

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #harry styles blurb #harry styles fic #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles ff #harry fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles fan fic #harry styles x reader

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uglygreenjacket · 7 months

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Me when the Jimmy Choo x Sailor Moon collab came out: Wow, I love that bag, but I can't justify the cost.

Also me, six months later, purchasing the bag for more than it retailed for: Wow, that's really reasonable. Sold. Zero thoughts. Must have.

#she's stunning #sailor moon #sailor moon merch #jimmy choo #sailor moon x jimmy choo #usagi tsukino #bishoujo senshi sailor moon #mamoru chiba

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ssavaart · 3 months

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___ Scott, I have been long meaning to ask,

Did you ever deal with dissatisfaction of your end product art versus the quality of your supplies?

I say this as most art supplies that are readily available in the US, have its prices inflated easily up to three times the original (in USD) where I am from.

Though I desire greatly to support my local brands, they will rarely provide the gamut of quality found in the art supplies available in other countries. (Mainly Europe and North America).

Any time I come to ponder this, it brings me an anxiety that once my art evolves, I will be unable to follow up and upgrade the materials used for them; the cost of professional and international art supplies would make it unpractical in the long run.

This mainly affects me during the creation process, as I am constantly reminded that even those advertised and sold as artist grade where I live fall significantly behind those internationally known, and well respected art brands. (Arrtx, Blick, and even Winston & Newton are hardly heard of)

Consequently, I then think; if I am to purchase art supplies any more expensive, it might just not be worth and wasteful, as my art would not justify the cost.

I am aware this might not apply to everyone (maybe not to you, either!), but I am relatively new to this ─ and you are my greatest reference as an artist.

So, how would you do it? ~for-the-writing-artist

Hi. This is a great question that I'm asked a lot (especially from my fans in India) and I think the best answer that I have is that you will KNOW when you need to upgrade your art materials. In other words... if you're still young (under 25) and still learning... use what you have. You don't need good art materials to learn design, composition, proportions, values, negative space, color theory, and generally just building your style and confidence.

Use the cheap materials to get good at storytelling.

Find your voice.

Then... when you start to get to the point where you're getting job offers, commissions, or generally feeling like "yeah... I'm a professional now", then... THEN you can look into the "good stuff".

Until that day... you're still learning (though, to be honest... I'M still learning too. We're always learning) and there's no need to waste money on better materials.

Will better art supplies help your art? Absolutely.

Will it make you a better artist? Nope.

Work on getting better.

Work on learning.

The good art supplies can come later when your art (and you) are ready.

Sending Big Hugs from the Hobbit Hole. ♥♥♥

Scott

#art #traditional art #artists on tumblr #drawing #art advice #art supplies

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maximumphilosopheranchor · 1 month

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"A modest affair in military terms, the Russian invasion of southern and then southeastern Ukraine involved the most sophisticated propaganda campaign in the history of warfare. The propaganda worked at two level: first, as a direct assault on factuality, denying the obvious, even the war itself; second, as an unconditional proclamation of innocence, denying that Russia could be responsible for any wrong. No war was taking place, and it was thoroughly justified.

When Russia began its invasion of Ukraine on February 24, 2014, President Putin lied with purpose. On February 28 he claimed, “We have no intention of rattling the sabre and sending troops to Crimea.” He had already sent troops to Crimea. At the moment he uttered these words, Russian troops had been marching through Ukrainian sovereign territory for four days. For that matter, the Night Wolves were in Crimea, following Russian soldiers around in a loud display of revving engines, a media stunt to make the Russian presence unmistakable. Even so, Putin chose to mock reporters who noted the basic facts. On March 4, he asserted that Russian soldiers were local Ukrainian citizens who had purchased their uniforms at local stores. “Why don’t you have a look at the post-Soviet states,” Putin proposed. “There are many uniforms there that are similar. You can go to a store and buy any kind of uniform.” (..)

Putin’s direct assault on factuality might be called implausible deniability. By denying what everyone knew, Putin was creating unifying fictions at home and dilemmas in European and American newsrooms. Western journalists are taught to report the facts, and by March 4 the factual evidence that Russia had invaded Ukraine was overwhelming. Russian and Ukrainian journalists had filmed Russian soldiers marching through Crimea. Ukrainians were already calling Russian special forces “little green men,” a joking suggestion that the soldiers in their unmarked uniforms must have come from outer space. The soldiers could not speak Ukrainian; local Ukrainians were also quick to notice Russian slang particular to Russian cities and not used in Ukraine. As the reporter Ekaterina Sergatskova pointed out, “the little green men’ do not conceal that they are from Russia.”

Western journalists are also taught to report various interpretations of the facts. The adage that there are two sides to a story makes sense when those who represent each side accept the factuality of the world and interpret the same set of facts. Putin’s strategy of implausible deniability exploited this convention while destroying its basis. He positioned himself as a side of the story while mocking factuality. “I am lying to you openly and we both know it” is not a side of the story. It is a trap.

Western editors, although they had the reports of the Russian invasion on their desks in the late days of February and the early days of March 2014, chose to feature Putin’s exuberant denials. And so the narrative of the Russian invasion of Ukraine shifted in a subtle but profound way: it was not about what was happening to Ukrainians, but about what the Russian president chose to say about Ukraine. A real war became reality television, with Putin as the hero. Much of the press accepted its supporting role in the drama. Even as Western editors became more critical over time, their criticism was framed as their own doubts about Kremlin claims. When Putin later admitted that Russia had indeed invaded Ukraine, this only proved that the Western press had been a player in his show.

After implausible deniability, Russia’s second propaganda strategy was the proclamation of innocence. The invasion was to be understood not as a stronger country attacking a weaker neighbor at a moment of extreme vulnerability, but as the righteous rebellion of an oppressed people against an overpowering global conspiracy. As Putin said on March 4: “I sometimes get the feeling that across the huge puddle, in America, people sit in a lab and conduct experiments, as if with rats, without actually understanding the consequences of what they are doing.” The war was not taking place; but were it taking place, America was to be blamed; and since America was a superpower, all was permitted in response to its omnipotent malice. If Russia had invaded, which it was somehow both doing and not doing, Russians would be justified in whatever they were doing and not doing."

Timothy Snyder, The Road To Unfreedom: Russia, Europe, America

#Timothy Snyder #non-fiction #Ukraine #Russia #Vladimir Putin #propaganda #journalism #btw a similar thing was with blowing up Kakhovka dam #Western press was like: Ukraine and Russia are blaming each other #who that might be who blew the damb?#facepalm #the war has been going for 10 years now but they have learned so little

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