#and maybe im getting upset at nothing but i still do feel upset

[erwinsvow]

had the worst day ever😭 i need some shy!reader and rafe

im so sorry baby hope this makes you feel better ♡

bad days always felt the same—never ending, dragging on and on while you're too tired, bones exhausted and muscles weeping. your head hurts from the overthinking, and though you're hardly one to get mad about silly things, today you are—mad. it must be something you've picked up from your boyfriend.

everything feels unfair, feels wrong or like it's about to go wrong. you can't even describe it if someone were to ask, but you know your boyfriend will ask, and that you need to get an answer ready since he doesn't settle for your silence, even though today you'd really wish he would.

from the morning that started off late to the afternoon that dragged on, the barista that messed up your order and then was rude to you about it, nothing was going your way. the coffee had just been the tipping point—that was the one thing meant to cheer you up.

when you drag your tired body and achy head to tannyhill, you stop to glance in the mirror in the hallway.

this was your tipping point, how messy your hair was, smudged mascara from when you cried in your car outside the coffee shop and the nail you chipped slamming the door. everything sucked, and though rafe always made it better, you didn't even want to see him when you looked like this.

you want to turn around and go home, but your feet still drag you to rafe's bedroom. your brain knows he'll make you feel better, though it takes everything in your willpower to open the door.

"hey, kid. how was your day?" the second he asks, glancing up from his laptop to look up at you, you burst into tears. he rushes over, putting his hands on your shoulders to keep you upright, to calm you down. "woah, what the hell. what's wrong?"

words don't come out, just sobs. you don't think rafe's ever seen you like this before, but it doesn't take him long to bring you into a hug, and you cry against his chest until his shirt is all wet.

"what's goin' on, baby? someone do somethin'? huh?" rafe is a problem solver at his core—but you know there's no one person to blame for today, except maybe yourself. though you wouldn't mind a little roughhousing, you don't think rafe's gonna be open to beating you up. your words come out slurred in a mumble of tears.

you rattle off your day in between sobs, and when he sits you down on his bed, he's a little less concerned because at least you're okay.

"c'mon," he says, and you lean against his shoulder. "get it all out and then y'can take a hot shower. i'll get dinner. s'gonna be fine."

though you're not saying many words, and a part of you had thought he'd be upset that you cry over every little thing, everything rafe says and does makes you feel better. when you sniffle, moving to wipe your tears, he holds your face in his hands, running a thumb across your cheek to wipe them away. you lean into his hand.

"s-sorry about your shirt."

"don't worry 'bout that, kid. you feelin' better?"

"a little."

"c'mon, clothes off. let's go shower. water as hot as you want it." you perk up, even laughing a little—rafe thinks the water you use will scald your skin.

"really?" you question, smiling up at him.

"really."

"thanks, rafe."

"yeah." he follows you to the shower, and though it didn't take many words or much time, you feel better already.

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #this is so rushed and i wasnt gonna write anything tonight but i saw this and im so sorry you had a bad day

[mhahaikyuus]

Hair

wc:; 1.4k

tags: black reader x katsuki, newly established relationship (still trying to keep up the illusion for your partner), black reader doing her hair, emotional reader, Katsuki being the rational calm boyfriend, fluffy, cute ending.

a/n: i skimmed barely proofread sorry for any mistakes, hope you guys enjoy. reblogs appreciated.

“I can come over tonight?” Katsuki asked on speaker of your phone. 

You two spent everyday together since he had confessed to you by shoving flowers into your hands and running off before you had a chance to respond in slight shock. 

“Uh I’m busy tonight sorry.” You said watching yourself in the mirror studying your scalp distracted. 

“Okay what about tomorrow?” Katsuki grunted unhappy he would spend time away from you. 

“Tomorrow I'm busy too, i can’t hang out this weekend.” You said eyeing the thin black plastic bag filled with beauty supplies sitting on your vanity. 

He frowned, you always told him about upcoming plans you had. At lunch always rambling about whatever you wanted and him listening with small grunts and nods. You didn’t mention anything before about plans. 

“What are you doing?” He asked. Not wanting to pry so early into a relationship and scare you off. He had plans to make you his permanently but he was nosey. 

“My hair,” You answered honestly.

“What do you mean your hair? It takes that long?” He asked confused. 

“Yeah, it does. I have a lot of hair and it takes a lot of hours sometimes a couple of days.” You admitted with a sigh already dreading the process. 

Katsuki sat there on the other side of the phone with a small sigh of relief. You weren’t blowing him off with anyone else, just your hair. He had no idea about black hair but he knew he cared about you and that meant this was important. 

“Do you need help?” He offered making you silent in surprise widely blinking at the phone. 

The man that would tell his partner in the field to fuck off when he asked. Was readily offering you his help. 

You let out a small laugh, “I do but I don’t think you know what that entails. It’s a really long process and it’s tiring. Im okay though thanks for asking.” 

He just wanted to see you. After spending every day together for a month, he doesn’t know if he could go 3 days. 

“Alright the offer still stands if you change your mind. Don’t tire yourself out.” He sighed and you both said your goodbyes. 

You fiddled with the ends of your hair with a huff. 

“Let’s get this over with.” 

~

You wanted to ram your head into a wall. Staring at half your head being braided, 10 hours down and probably another 7 to go. 

Your back hurt, your arms hurt, your head hurt it was not ideal. Not eating all day and getting irritated at everything you were in a mood. 

Throwing the rat tail comb from your hands on the floor you flopped onto your bed in tears needing a break. 

Your phone began buzzing, face still in the mattress you reached around til you found it and pressed answer button. 

“Hello,” You answered muffled 

“Hey how’s it going?” Bakugo asked 

You sniffled pulling your head up tears running. 

“It’s fine.” 

Bakugo heard how upset you were causing his forehead to crease, “What’s wrong baby?” in a softer voice. 

“It’s nothing it’s just my hair and i’m tired and cranky and i haven’t eaten all day. I’ve only done maybe half of my head and i want to stop.” You said through tears. 

“Hey, hey please stop crying it’ll be okay.” Katsuki said trying to soothe you through the phone but it wasn’t working. Noticing a twinge in his chest at the sound of your soft sniffles.

You left out small huffs trying to control your breathing, “Yeah…sorry I should go you don’t want to hear me crying. Sorry to bother.” You realized you were probably scaring away the one guy you did like with your hysterics. 

“No I didn-“ 

“I have to go thanks for calling.” 

Katsuki stared at the phone feeling his stomach sink. 

~

You cried until your eyes were puffy and reluctantly went back to braiding your hair. You were so impatient and tender headed but you would not spend 200+ dollars on box braids. 

After about an hour you heard a knock on your door. You opened it to your boyfriend with a bag of takeout and one from the pharmacy. 

You yelped in surprise slamming the door just as fast as you opened it. 

Katsuki was very confused and kind of hurt at your reaction. 

“Y/n! What the fuck come on.” He yelled from the other side of the door. 

Your face held such embarrassment, hoping this was a figment of your imagination. 

Your boyfriend was NOT here when you looked like a hot mess. 

Your non-black boyfriend at that. 

This is a nightmare. 

“What are you doing here!” You yelled back through the door. 

“Baby you were crying and I haven’t seen you in almost 2 days!"

You groaned, “You can’t see me like this! you have to go home.” 

He grunted in annoyance, “You better open up. Im not leaving when you were crying.” 

You were silent waiting for him to go home and he wasn’t budging. With a sigh you opened the door peaking out at him. 

“Are ya gonna let me in?” He asked with raised blond eyebrows and pretty crimson eyes.

You opened the door and stepped aside. 

“What’s wrong why are you slamming doors and crying?” He asked looking down at you as he entered your apartment.  

You slowly closed the door behind you and leaned back against it. 

“I didn’t want you to see me like this.” You admitted thankful that you didn't blush noticeably.

“Baby like what.” He sighed dropping the bags on your coffee table and bringing you in close. 

Your head fell into his muscular chest, smelling his cologne.

“My hair.” You mumbled into his shirt.

He pulled back and used one hand to push back your hair to see your face. Your hair is in sections and a half-braided mess. 

“I like you and your hair. So will you calm down please?” 

“Really?” You asked with teary eyes looking up at him. 

“Yes, I do.” He reassured his hands gently holding you, his main goal to calm you down from this tired anxiety driven mood.

“Okay.” You mumbled head falling back into his chest. 

He rubbed your back, “What’s going on?” asking again. 

“I stayed up all night and im not even halfway done. I have a headache.” You mumbled in tears. 

Katsuki led you to the couch and made you take a seat. 

“Take a break. You look hangry and I brought food.” He said propping you in his lap and handing you takeout. 

You finished your food and leaned your head in his neck. Your headache stopping. He was right as usual, you were hangry. 

“I’m sorry for slamming the door in your face that was mean.” You said wrapping him in a side hug. 

His hand rubbed the side of your thigh with a light kiss on your nose. 

“It’s okay, ya didnt break my nose with the door slam.” Katsuki said making you laugh.

“Can I?” He asked gesturing to your head and you nodded. 

Katsuki’s thick fingers touching your blow dried hair. 

“It’s soft.” He said with mild surprise, “Like really soft.” 

You laughed, “Yeah I do have soft hair, but so do you.” Reaching up and lightly tugging on his spiky blonde hair. His hair was getting longer in the back. It may be because he loves your hands all over him and especially his head, giving you more hair to yank. Just a theory of course you would never say to him.

He grunted, “You feel better?” 

“Yes…” You nodded as he smiled knowing what he was gonna say

“Crying over the being hungry?” He teased showing his canines with his smile and you rolled your eyes. 

“Shut up.” 

“I’m just saying.” 

“Are you discriminating against a black woman?” You squinted but Bakugo had heard that before. 

“I just came over here with food to stop your crying and got a door slammed in my face.” He said with narrowed eyes matching your own.

“Uh fine.” You sighed, “Can you not be a good boyfriend so I can call you a bigot.” Your hand trailing up his stomach under his shirt, wanting skin to skin contact.

He pinched the inside of your thigh making you yelp in pain in response. His head deeply buried into your neck just enjoying your touch

“Ow…”You whined rubbing the bruised spot. 

#mha #mha imagines #mha scenarios #my hero academia #mha x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugo katuski #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou katsuki #katsuki x y/n #bakugo x y/n #bakugo x reader #katsuki x you #katsuki fluff #bakugo fluff #bakugo x black reader

[itzsana-kiddingmenow]

𝙨𝙖𝙣𝙖’𝙨 𝙜𝙪𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙬𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙎𝙆𝙕:

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 7 — 𝙠𝙞𝙢 𝙨𝙚𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙢𝙞𝙣

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨: 1.4k

𝙖/𝙣: late but defo worth it…i really outdid myself for this one, OUGHHH IM SHAKING MY HEAD LIKE A FERAL DOG I NEED HIM—

𝙩/𝙬: angst to fluff, rough tickling and soft tickles mentioned, seungmin’s an asshole but he means well

𝒍𝒆𝒆: seungmin

𝙡𝙚𝙧: reader

𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕: @someone-who-loves-kpop-saranghae @jeonginsdiary @leeknowstan33 @v--143 @wereallgonnadieonedaybutnottoday @inkytornpagess @lajanaa @a-wild-seungberry @channieissocute125 @soap143 @seungsluvv @skznccmlee @moony-9

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞? 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐮𝐛s 🐾

he only really lets you tickle him if he feels like he did something to make you upset

seungmin may act all cold and uncaring, but he’s really not 🥺 

making him laugh always makes you happy, so he lets you

not that he doesn’t love getting tickled himself, but he’d never admit that. 

“Why are you so cold all the time! I’ve been nothing but loving to you, and…and it feels like you don’t love me at all!” You screamed, tears streaming down you face, rivulets of your sadness dripping onto the floor beneath you. 

Seungmin knew his expression would be as blank and uncaring as it normally was, but he didn’t know if it was his heart of his sanity breaking completely. 

You sobbed and almost falling over, Minnie rushed to catch you, but you shoved him away. 

“Don’t act like you care now!” 

Seungmin knew he fucked up. Badly. 

He could feel tears of shock and remorse welling up in his own eyes, but he couldn’t bring himself to blink them away. Maybe he deserved this. 

You grabbed your bag, stuffing your phone into it and slinging it over your shoulder. 

“Where are you going?” Seungmin hated how his voice cracked, he felt weak and powerless. 

You knew, Seungmin was your best friend, he may have seemed cold in the beginning but he truly did love you. 

But what he had said to you was unforgivable. 

‘Okay, you’re annoying. Stop calling me, I don’t have the time.’ His voice had sounded so cold, unfamiliar. 

‘But, Seungmin.’ You coughed, spots swimming in your vision. ‘I’m really sick, I really need your help, please!’ You gasped. 

Call ended. You had broken down sobbing right there and then, how could he say that to you, no emotion at all? 

You had to drive to the hospital yourself, scared out of your wits to go alone, and had fainted right in the lobby. 

Three hours later, he still wasn’t there, and your condition had improved. But you felt nothing but unrestricted numb, but all the pain in the world. 

And now he was here, checking up on you and apologizing rapidly for being an ass, but nothing made you feel better, happier. 

“I’m going home. I’m sick, and I need my medicine, if you didn’t know.” You snarled, shoving at him as he tried to hug you, tried to whisper more apologies into your ear. It just made you madder. 

“You couldn’t do this when I needed you most.” 

Seungmin stood there helplessly, and you only just caught the glint of his tears as you slammed the door shut. 

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Sobbing, you only needed one more thing before you broke down completely. Hearing the door unlock, you shot up to slam your door shut, but Seungmin was faster, pushing against the other side and overpowering your weak state. 

You stood there, tears streaming down your face, two hands covering it. You could feel his arms wrap around your frame, frail and uncertain. 

But once Seungmin asserted that you weren’t shoving him away, his arms pulled you into his chest, head coming to rest on top of yours. 

You wrapped your arms around his waist, and he held your face in his hands, leaning down to press a kiss to your wet cheek. 

Seungmin sank to the floor in front of you, grasping your foot. “I’m so sorry, so sorry. Please…don’t hate me!” Seungmin looked so broken, guilty. 

You couldn’t help but forgive him right away. Staring for a few seconds, you decide to make your move.

“Minnie.” You giggle. “What are you doing?” 

He looked dumbfounded. “What?”

“What are you doing on the floor—why are you grabbing my leg like I’m going to run away.” You snickered.

Seungmin paused for a few seconds, clearly thinking.

“I was gonna beg for your forgiveness.” He smiled up with you, grinning at the idea that he made you somewhat happier. 

You sank down next to him, hugging him tightly. “Don’t do this ever again. I really needed you.” 

Seungmin’s breath hitched. “I was being really crappy. It won’t happen again, darling.” He sniffled. 

“But…you owe me.” You glared at him with a pout, and he scrambled to reply. “I’ll give you anything…anything you want!” He held both of your hands in his. 

Gosh, he really was the cutest. Your best friend. 

“Fine. Let me tickle you.” You smirked, making your fingers into claws. 

“W-What?! Anything else, anything? Please!” Seungmin was already flustered, ears red and voice stuttering. 

He never lets you tickle him, you only normally manage to get a gasp out of him before he turns the tables completely, and you’re the one who was laughing. 

“C’monnn, you said anything~” You tease, and he slumped. “Fine.”

You squeal in excitement, running to grab your tie and your scarf. Seungmin flushed a deep red as you tied his hands high above his head to the headboard, and he squirmed in anticipation as you rested yourself on his thighs. 

“You ready for the biggest wrecking of your life?~” 

He blushed even more, squeezing his eyes shut before letting out a small whine. “Noho!” He was already giggling. How embarrassing. 

“They say that you only truly hear a person’s laugh when they’re being tickled.” You smiled down at him. 

“Just get it over with!” Minnie blurted. 

“Mmm, fine. Let’s start here.” You wiggled your fingers along his neck, startling when you hear the cutest giggles you had ever heard in your entire life. “Aweee~”

Seungmin was pretty sure his face was the color of tomatoes at that point, giggling crazily as your nails tickled along his collarbone. 

“How about…here?” You moved to his armpits, scraping up and down consistently. 

“AGH!! P-Please…” He squirmed and tried to seal his lips, just to burst into laughter when you massaged the center of his underarms with your thumbs. “Nahah—HAHAHA!!” 

“Your laugh is so cute!!~” You giggle along with him, a wide grin on his face that made you want to tickle him more. 

“NONONO!!” He shrieked when your fingers moved to his ribs next. “NO—AAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!” You jolted but smiled right along with him. 

“PLEASE—! PLEASE SOMEWHERE EHEHEHELSE!!” Seungmin choked, and you moved further to his waist, digging into the skin before slipping your fingers up his shirt to tickle him more. 

Minnie began to thrash wildly, cackles ringing through the room as his cheeks reddened cutely. ”AHHHAH IHIT TIHIHICKLES!!“ 

You knew exactly how to push his buttons. 

“How do you think raspberries would feel?~” You crawl further down with a shit eating smirk, moving his clothing out of the way slightly to expose his bare tummy and his belly button. 

Seungmin watched in horror. “W-Wait!! Don’t do raspberries…I might die!!” He pleaded, stomach quivering under your hungry eyes. 

“But I want to…” You pout, and he giggled crazily as you trailed your nails along his cute tummy. 

“Here goes!” You lowered your head, blowing a torturously ticklish raspberry onto his skin. You’d never done it before, but it must have worked, considering Seungmin’s pleading was drowned out by his hysterical laughter, the cutest smile on his face as he laughed himself silly. 

“YAAAHAHAHAHAHA!! PLEHEHEASE IHITS SOHO BAHAHAHAD!!” Seungmin shrieked, arching his back and slamming it back down when you blew another into his v-line. 

”MAHAHAHAKE IHIT STAHAHAHAHAHAP!!” He begged, twisting away from the tickly sensation. 

Minnie was practically going insane already, and you decided to finish off with one more so he didn’t actually die. 

You decided to go all out for this one, pressing your lips to his cute belly button and blowing as hard as you possibly could. 

Seungmin let out a raw scream before descending into the loudest laughter you had ever heard from him.

“PLEASE—PLEHEHEHEASE OHOHO MY GAHAHAHAHAD!! STAHAHAHAHAHAP!!” He howled, thrashing his head around crazily in his bound arms. 

You let up after that one raspberry to his belly button, kissing it gently to calm him down as tears dropped into his collar. “Thahat was so brutal!!” He whined, and you fixed his shirt before climbing onto his heaving chest to untie him. 

Seungmin squeezed out the last few tears and giggles before slumping immediately the second you fully untied him. 

“You did so well for me…love you so much.” You pressed kisses to his wet cheek to rid the tears, pulling him into your arms. 

You didn’t expect him to reply, but he did. “I love you more.” 

You smile happily. “But seriously, you’re one of the most ticklish people I’ve ever seen.”

#kpop tickle #midzywannabeitzy #skz tickle #stray kids #skz #lee seungmin #ler reader

[piplupod]

i think what upsets me most, besides the fact that this means no more accordion unless i somehow miraculously get it fixed, is that despite my best efforts to be careful and not mess up, i still managed to make a mistake and fuck it up. despite understanding and appreciating how expensive and valuable and fragile this instrument is, despite my best efforts to keep it safe and in good condition, i still managed to mess up and damage it.

like ... I just mess up. I have something nice, something of value, and I cannot seem to keep it safe and taken care of. things end up ruined. shirts get holes, dresses get stains, electronics get battery acid leaking or cracked, dishes get broken, book pages get torn or bent, trinkets get chipped, instruments are bonked and rattled. i am so terrified of handling anything that things most often just stay sitting in lidded bins so they are safe from carpet beetles and dust and dirt and food and me.

i just feel awful, i dont understand why I can't just keep things safe and in good condition ?? why is this so impossible for me, especially when i care so much ??

#i think this is partially why i dont allow myself any good art supplies #I got a set of charcoals several years ago and I've barely touched them bc im terrified of fucking them up #but if i get smth from the dollar store? that stuff is getting used immediately #bc its cheap and its not very good quality #im not afraid of using things up. im afraid of ruining them #im such a careful person too but i just. always end up fucking up some time #idk what is wrong w me #this sounds so melodramatic but god im tired #i still feel sick that my nice shirt from the 70s got a tiny hole burned into it bc of fire sparks that i didnt know were around #like i just. cannot have nice things idk. i have the absolute worst luck it seems like. or maybe i just am not careful enough #idk how to be any more careful though honestly fhfkdl #like i either keep things stored away safely sealed up or i am exceedingly careful in handling them #and do everything i can think of and find out to make sure nothing happens #and yet ! #i just feel like a massive idiot for this idk fhfmkl silly me to think i could be trusted w this instrument #there are some websites and videos teaching ppl how to fix accordions but... its complex #but i either attempt a fix myself or never play it again bc getting a professional is too expensive #so ... i guess I'll have to take the dive and tinker w it if i want even a chance at playing again #im just terrified I'll break it even further #also i dont think i have access to everything I'll need for fixing it depending on whats gone wrong #so idk if it'll even be possible even if its doable like. i need Tools and leather and felt #i have spare leather scraps but no felt :| #and no special pliers fjfkdl #argh argh im so upset w myself for this #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[bandomgay]

.

#saw a post that resinated with me it wasn't directky abt asexuality but it was about having 'desires' but finding sex to be.. of much #interest edging on disgust which js maybe to strong a word for me but personally its very specific #like i don't generally have a yes preference on it . never truthfully have i can 1000009 percent see a future without it #but what makes me upset is like if i get or pursue a partner that isnt asexual or aromantic like what ppl think of that #like thats the Exception i just wish i find someone if i even want someone that thry understand im gettong nothing out of it but i will of #course engage with them u know i know ppl say aces still can have sex but i dont think they actually get it also my experiences r of course #not universal but idk i just needed to get it of my chest lol #like i have “fantasies” but never have they included or been about myself makes sense idk do yall still want me LOL idk #i always feel like shit abt my sexuality but it is whst it is #to delete #james talks

[gibbearish]

> be me

> never send asks bc im scared ill mess something up

> type up lots of asks but never end up sending them

> finally type up an ask i feel like i can send

> check over it a dozen times to make sure im not missing anything

> send

> didn't actually read urls right

> sent ask to wrong person entirely

> mfw

#ik theres supposed to be a picture if they put mfw just use ur imagination #maybe that one meme of the guy in the blue shirt smoking looking super resigned #its good its fun like its a small thing so im not upset upset but it is def frustrating that this kinda thing always happens to me #i already know i check and recheck things excessively its one of the reasons im like 99% sure i have ocd #but i still. always miss something big and obvious #not specifically with asks just in general things i spend forever going over to make sure theyre perfect always end #up having something glaringly wrong with it that i just somehow didn't process at all #it gets frustrating cause it starts to feel like no matter how hard i check itll never be enough but also that can't be true #because i almost never see this kinda thing happening to everyone else‚ people just Send Asks without having to spend an hour agonizing #over it and nothing ends up being wrong with it. so clearly they're doing /something/ to be able to notice that stuff and im just. #not doing that thing. but i dont know what else i could do it's always something i never even thought to consider #it's like the whole 'expect the unexpected' thing‚ something truly unexpected will be something i. cant think of #so how am is supposed to think it ahead of time #so yeah its. hard #im tryin to stay positive esp bc i know this really was a minor funny one not an actual Problem i caused but #s just a little hard sometimes when it feels like my brain wont cooperate with my no matter how hard i try to think

[ironmanstan]

So much work to do but im actually doing it which scares me more than the fact i have work to do and u can tell bc i keep fucking posting like this

#laid out all my sketches i needed.. updated my carrd projects list... finalized art piece.. sketched concept.. studied from art book #fucking insane. insane. so scary so scary. #like idk it is so weird i think being depressed mustve made my adhd so much worse ?? i couldve never done this before #everything is still hard and i have to genuinely push and will myself to even attempt working on anything but like #i have enough will to win and start ? i dont lose my focus as much when im in it and if i do i know to take a break bc im understimulated? #i still forget basic things and to do things a lot but i dont catastrophize about it as much i get upset and then just fix it.. #its so weird did i just fucking learn to self regulate??? is that what i was missing this whole time ??????? #u get punished for like lacking focus and self regulation and have a defeatist mindset bc doing anything = punishment #but then you break through that fear and just throw yourself in and make yourself do things and u can work WITH the adhd???? #my parents fucking scammed me bro imagine if i had been raised and like helped instead of called worthless for everytime i fuck up #WHY DO I HAVE TO LEARN THIS AT ALMOST 19. STUPID STUPID STUPID #even my old therapists.. oh you have adhd maybe if you just change your diet you will function WOWWW SOOO HELPFUL #HOW DOES THAT HELP ME LEARN TO BE AWARE OF MY SELF AND NEEDS AND REGULATE THEM TO WORK WITH MY MENTAL HANDICAPS HUH. QUICKLY #stupid... i hate every adult in the world you are all useless and do nothing <- is an adult #its so crazy 2 me to function even a little... i guess i learned easily finally bc i self analyze way too much sometimes #but like i genuinely for years predicted id just like. go right back to being majorly suicidal or something in college #bc i could barely handle highschool or getting assignments done #now im meeting deadlines on the reg... like idk. i think it is such a rare and strange and kind of sick feeling #to know like young you would look at you and be surprised or shocked . and its so sad bc like idk. #its like oh i never believed in myself huh. or believed i could have a place in the world and function and be alright #and then u have to grieve all the time you spent never trying bc u didnt think trying without failing was possible like what the hell!!! #crazy... #the gamer speaks uwu

[ventcode]

everyone is angry :devious: including me

#holy shit. #first my stepmom got mad AT ME this morning for nothing #then the teacher #then my classmate #for. NOTHING!! I didn't do anything #and now im just. angry. #i hate being angry #i hate the feeling that im literally about to snap at any moment and its 9 IN THE MORNING. #is it because im around a bunch of angry people. maybe i should be around happier people. if i COULD. god i hate everyone around me #irl atleast i love being online 🫶 #everyone is mean and rude !!! everybody stresses me out !! #people have traumatized me and gotten away with it. acting like it's nothing. #and now im still upset. #and im still angry. i make others angry and i get angrier #im gonna fuckijg snap.

[stinkrascal]

my game is still doing the infinite loading screen glitch no matter what i do, save for take out my entire build/buy folder. i think my game is just overloaded with mods, so i’ll probably have to purge and rebuild my mods folder, or wait until i can update my computer so it’s stronger. idk what else to do

#i have a headache #im so upset about this :( i wanted to take screenshots so bad #i had such a cute idea for a post and i cant even execute it bc my game only works when i take out a significant portion of mods #i thought maybe there were conflicts but i did the 50/50 method and couldnt replicate the glitch #and i used mod conflict detector to delete 10gb of mods but im still getting the glitch #it only happens when i have my full folder in #granted it is 117 gbs lmfao but i need the stuff for storytelling #every other storyteller uses intense cc builds and i love that style! i love making realistic lots #the idea of having to go minimalist makes me so upset. building is so much fun for me #im just really upset over this. i dont know when i’ll be able to post again #this year ive only made like maybe ten posts it makes me feel awful :( #i love my story so much. it is my greatest source of comfort #being unable to create puts such a huge hole in my chest #im gonna try to save the cc from my builds like the straud house/farm and my characters homes #and then delete the rest of the cc and probably only download lots from very specific people to keep my bb to a minimum #but i just hate having to do that bc im scared i’ll delete something i really needed #i just hate change so much it literally ruins my day lol my head HURTS #so i guess i’ll be on an indefinite story hiatus until i can sort this out. :( #sorry im always complaining on here its just that literally nothing ever goes right lol

[savethepinecones]

well ive made it to hour five of being back at my parents place and ive only had my boundaries blatantly ignored and criticized twice. maybe three times. who knows

#my mom: oh hey heres a story that includes a big argument i had with your stepdad #me: hey can we maybe skip the details on the argument i always feel awkward hearing about yalls fights #my mom: yeah okay. so he said x and i got upset and said y and then he said z- #me: hey it sounds like were rehashing the argument that i said i didnt want to hear about #my mom: well if you think that then you need to lighten up. anyway #like ???????? #sometimes i still feel like im maybe in the wrong when i hold my ground #like she gets so upset by it that it makes me feel like im being unreasonable or super pushy or smth idk #i went to bed like five minutes after that last story btw #its not even 930 #so hey if nothing else staying here for a few days will do wonders for my sleep schedule

[be-good-to-bugs]

why havent i been talking to the much much cooler and better older sister who is a furry and super nice and fun to talk to and cares about my opinions and feelings instead of the one who cant respect boundaries and makes me feel like a mistake and doesnt care abt how i feel

#the bin #shes also the only normal person in my family #and when i say normal i mean it in a treats other people with respect way not in a societally normal way #cause she the least 'normal' of my family in that way. which is a good thing. be a freak. autism makes u cooler by default #idk. she sthe only person who i feel like actually cares about me and my opinion and wants to hear what i have to say and views me right #i wish we talked more when i was younger. shes so nice. i hope when i move we can houngout together more and maybe watch some movies #and talk abt stuff or smth. we r probably gonna play some games together soon which is nice #i miss her. i think i can also talk to her abt how our other sister kinda sucks. i know she views her pretty highly or at least used to but #i still think i can. i dont think itll make her uncomfortable. #ive been looking over the past years with my other sister and they havent really been any good mostly #ive just been so isolated and sad that it was better than nothing but its past that point now #if id had other people to talk to then i wouodnt have soent so much time with someone making me feel worse #i also think shes just made me a worse person overall. more judgemental. the past year ive become very against that trying hard to not #and she gets very upset with me when im like hey. yknow. id rather assume the best of random strangers not doing anything that bad #i dont wanna assume everyone is an inconsiderate asshole because they arent. life circumstances we dont know about could be #the reason for this honestly pretty mild inconvenience. if u wanna think otherwise then thats fine but dont day it around me #idk. im tired of it. im still super sad but ive become a much more bright and hopeful person because im trying to be #it actually sucks to view the whole world as horrible and everyone around you ass horrible #idk. maybe i can get my other sister to do the fun stuff with me i dont like doing alone #cause it makes me unbelievably sad to realize i dont have anyone to ask anymore at all. period. but maybe it doesnt have to be that way

[luthifer]

me in shock when i have the weirdest ups and downs in moods and episodes as if i dont have mental illness's that have gone unchecked for a long while

#im ngl over the past couples of months multiple times ive thought 'huh this is getting a little scary maybe i need to go to a ward' #and the i wake up the next morning and im like nah i can deal w this on my own still im good. plus what if the food is gross #if anyone is wondering idfk if it matters but i haven't been posting or being hre a lot cuz tbh 90% of the time it is not me or #i am too tired to do anything but like play video game and neopets #luci is lollygagging #i feel like i wuld be a little less upset if i wasn't constantly in fucking PAIN and nothing is WORKING #and also if i wanna lie to myself the only reason im upset is bc it's getting marginally closer to my least favorite holidays such as #“thanksgiving” and christmas

[kawaiianimeredhead]

Ughhh

#had to come into work on my day idd #off** which tbch i meant to prepare myself a little more for that possibility because one of my coworkers had a heart thing recently #which resulted in his heart stopping for a moment so he wasnt able to come back to work when he was expected to #and today was going to be his day back but he had an issue so he couldnt come in #and on top of that my other coworker called my boss crying because he dog ate something #i dont know what but she is incredibly and understandablely upset about the health of her dog #so he didnt think she was going to come in but when i got here she was #which i had hoped meant something good but i saw Nick ask her if he was doing ok and she just broke down crying more #i cant (but actually can unfortunately) believe he had her stay and do the longest thing we have in the morning to do #when he saw me he mentioned he was greatful we both came in cause hes got a doctors appointment #but im certain he still could have done the longer thing because trash on tuesdays is nothing #he came in last night and got some! #and he was like 'yeah she said her dog got into something that was in aluminum foil? maybe it was chocolate or something but-' #'- she said shes gonna take him to the vet as soon as she gets off. i think shes worried hes gonna die' #and like he heard all of that probably through tears and didnt send her home! or offer to help her at all #cause like i said he hardly has anyyhing to do #i cant imagine his doctor's appointment is before 9am naybe 830 at the earliest #which everything we do can be done before then #im so mad about it #trying to help her where i can but feel like i didnt do enough #cause im very unfamiliar with the floors and i had a smaller broom to sweep with #but he knows how much her dog is a big part of her world and he can hear that she thinks hes gonna die today and just be like #ok well thanks for coning in and please do the floors #shes probably worried hell die before she even gets home of shes that worried about him #i dont think it was chovolate he got i to but i didnt wanna ask becauss i know shes really trying to just push through the morning #if i had to take an absolute wild guess id think he ate an edible of some sort but thwy usually have gummies so i dont know why itd be foil #dont mind me #tag rambles

[afternines]

I HAVE TO LAUGH I HAVE TO LAAUGGGGFHFH

#when i dropped out of school and started working somehow everything started being easier #my social anxiety got soooo much better . my depression got so much better and i wasnt stressed at any giving time and i thought #that maybe all my mental health problems were just a direct consequence of me being undiagnosed nd in an environment that expected too much #from me without offering accommodations for me to reach those goal #like work is still tiring and overstimulating at times but theres no deadlines!!! i dont have to bend n break my back to get certain tasks #done!!!!! like i have a package of tasks i just loop through and i can plan in my own days and weeks and decide what i will be doing when #and how and theres no wrong or right system of doing things as long as the result is just what my boss wishes for and im AUGDHDGFH im so #lucky to be here #To get back to the point im trying to make tho. #as i left an environment that just wasnt good for me and entered another environment that somehow did wonders to my mental health i rlly #thought i would find peace from now on. Like id still get upset and sad or whatever like non mentally ill people do too #but it wouldnt be to an extent anymore where i wanna hurt myself or disappear forever #and for a bit more than a year everything was good!!!!! started to think i made up all my mental problems tbh #but lately things have been so tuff . i havent been this depressed in years #and like i can still physically do things . i can still go to work and clean my room and take showers and whatnot #but im so exhausted. and i keep crying all the time and i feel like everyone hates me for being so . depressed and i cannot physically do #the one thing i love doing (drawing) like nothing i try comes out good enough which just makes me cry again lol #and i dont . i dont understand it #bc i removed all (most?) of the factors that were making me this mentally nauseous and i was supposed to feel better . i was supposed to fee #good now. but i feel like im back at uni sitting on my bed crying over my notebooks trying to cram all the paragraphs into my head not #understanding why i cant remember anything for my classes . why its easy for everyone but me #everything always seems easy for everyone but me #i really dont understand #is this really a part of me . will i really always be this miserable and insecure? will i always hate myself and not feel enough? #im still the same person i was before i just wear different clothes #my body grows but i just dont grow up

[slipper007]

.

#vent post #to delete #every year is the same bullshit and im exhausted #it feels like nobody pays attention. then you just have to walk on eggshells and either get gaslit or protect their feelings. im so tired. #my mom bough me measuring cups. theyre heavy and metal and cut into my hands. I already have a set i bought years ago #she got tongs to match. a huge butter dish that's nothing near my style. #and she got me knee high chicken leg socks. she spent $20 on chicken leg socks that no one is going to wear. #i gave it some time and quietly asked if we could return/exchange and all i get is #oh you only like what your father got you i really struck out this year why don't you like it oh i guess I'll just return*everything* then #you know what maybe I do like what he got me more. we went to the store and talked about what we liked and didn't like and he remembered. #he didn't just click whatever *he* liked on Amazon and call it a day. #a heated blanket that only works in the car? don't lie to yourself and say you got it for me. you got it for your mother when she visits. #i know it makes me a privileged pos but im just so upset. year after year it goes the same way. i don't know why it still upsets me #i just want her to listen to me without making it about herself or making it my fault she got it wrong and that's never going to happen. #and im so tired of having to be on edge while im here #my parents came up with a game where if you win a game you get to pick and open a little tube that has money/coupon/etc #and I told them it was a bad idea and it made me uncomfortable and I didn't want to participate but they basically said suck it up #my brother proceeded to take the bag of tubes and steal some money. and he got caught. so my parents made a show of giving me what he stole #and now they keep trying to have us do the game except now my brother doesn't get to open tubes. and I just. #im uncomfortable #i don't want to take part #i don't want what he took #i don't want to keep being the fucking standard they hold him to. i don't want him to resent me. but what i want doesn't matter #and even better I got to listen to the no stealing don't make me fuck you up talk after he did it #because slapping him and threatening more violence is always the best course of action. definitely. #and I got to hear the different standards they hold both of us to. glad to know they've been lying to me about what they expect from me #my whole life they've told me that as long as I'm above a C I'm fine but I didn't believe it. now they're saying they've always expected As #thanks for finally being honest with me my senior year of undergrad. really helps to know for sure you've lied for 22 years. #i just. #agh

[emmyrosee]

So some idea for Sukuna fluff 🥺 like imagine you want to take a picture with him and at first he gets annoyed because he thinks this is stupid af and his grumpy ass just doesn’t understand stuff like this. But when he sees that you are like really upset he changes his mind and be like “come on brat, let’s do it” 😭 He still thinks it’s stupid but at least you are happy now 🥺 idkkk this thought just came to me, maybe you will use it one day, love your works 🫶🏻

“Kuna-baby!” You chirp, throwing yourself next to him on the couch. He flinched to the side to make room for you, and you curl into his side as you lift your phone up to fit you both in frame. “Smile!”

“For what?”

“My picture!”

“The fuck am I smiling for free for?” He scoffs, and you feel your heart stop for a sec and your smile falters slightly. “I smile for Ma and when kids fall. That’s it.”

“Not even for me?” You ask with a chuckle, but deep down, your heart hurts, and you hope this is just mindless teasing.

“You’re no exception to any of my rules,” he says flatly.

He means it.

You give him another chuckle and push off of him, letting him go back to his game and scrolling through your phone to try and combat the hurt in your soul at his harshness.

Apparently, the mood shift is too much for your boyfriend, and he paused his game again and moves his headphone from his ear, “what’s with you?”

“Nothing,” you lie.

He groans, “is this seriously making you upset? The fact I won’t take a stupid picture with you?”

“It’s not stupid,” you pout. “I just… wanted… a new wallpaper. For my phone…”

You practically feel his eyes roll back into his skull as you continue to scroll on your phone. Then, he wraps an arm around you, tucking you back into his side with your chin resting in the dip of his elbow, “don’t be like this, brat.”

“Im not being like anything.”

“Youre being a pouty brat.”

“Oh, am I?” you sigh.

“Fine,” he snips, resuming his game. “See if I care.” The room is shrouded in tenseness, practically suffocating for you both. You take a deep breath, understanding his discomfort but simply being told “no” would’ve been just as sufficient.

The game doesn’t last long, though, as apparently he’s discomforted in the silence too.

He takes a deep inhale through his nose and pauses again, pressing a kiss to your temple and using his hand to rub your cheek, “make it a good one. And I get to approve it before you make it your background.”

Immediately, you perk up, smiling softly and shifting to be in a more comfortable position, angling your phone to take a picture. He angles his head to bury his nose against the crown of your head, and his eyes close as he takes a relaxing breath of your scent. You’re quick to snap the picture secretly, admiring how blissful he looks merely relishing in your warmth. Then, he flashes you a close-mouthed smile, one wide enough where the dimple in his cheek is prominent, and when you snap that picture, his face falls.

“Hate that fuckin’ thing,” he grumbles.

“What thing?”

“The fucking divot in my cheek,” he says. “Makes me look like a kid.”

“Baby,” you coo, twisting your body to cup his cheek in your hand, “is that why you don’t like having your picture taken?”

He doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t have to. You know the answer. “I think it’s handsome,” you purr.

“I don’t care what you think.”

“Yes, you do,” you snicker. “Clearly. But that’s okay. Because I think you’re perfect.”

“I am perfect.” He presses another kiss to your head, “now shut up and let me play. Glad your ass is happy now.”

“I really am, sukuna. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. Ever again. Ever.”

#🥺🫶🏻🫶🏻 #sukuna #sukuna fluff #sukuna x reader #sukuna x reader fluff #sukuna x gn!reader #sukuna imagine #sukuna jjk #sukuna ryomen #sukuna ryomen fluff #sukuna ryomen x reader #sukuna ryomen x reader fluff #sukuna ryomen x gn!reader #sukuna ryomen imagine #sukuna ryomen jjk #jjk #jjk fluff #jjk imagine #jjk x reader #jjk x reader fluff #jjk x gn!reader #jjk x gender neutral reader #jjk x you #jjk x yn #jjk x y/n