#and my parents' reaction was the best

[xovera-toz]

Peter: Tony has been trying to make heads and tails of my Italian school certificate

Peter: He swore he wouldn't use a translator because he's "got this"

Peter: It's been fifteen minutes of him staring at it

Peter: Funniest fifteen minutes of my life

#a self-indulgent au where peter took an italian course #couse why not #partly inspired of the casual mention of may as a 'hot italian woman' #btw just got my certificate... and it's in spanish #idk why #i think it's funny as hell #and my parents' reaction was the best #they don't understand nada #i'm just ranting couse no one will check the tags anyway #hey why don't i use this as a diary #would actually make sense #peter parker #spider-man #spider man #spiderman #tom holland spiderman #tony stark #iron man #marvel #incorrect quote #spider man incorrect quotes #marvel incorrect quotes

[ijustthinkhesneat]

I’m an Alfred/Martha/Thomas truther. Like Alfred is a baddie in his 80s you all know he must have been a slice back in the day. And it is canon Martha and Thomas were smoke shows.

Like let hot people get it. Let hot men kiss while their wife turns mobsters kneecaps into flour with a baseball bat.

#I feel like with all those portraits in the manor teenage Bruce must have had that weird moment when he was like #‘why were my parents hotter than me at 16?’ #y’all know what I mean you find a photo of like your grandparents when they were young and you have to know why your so crusty #but like nope apparently grandpa was an absolute chad #Bruce Wayne #Martha Wayne #Thomas Wayne #alfred pennyworth #I bet Martha was dog walking those men #her British Twink and Italian Bodybuilder #batman #batfam #like and imagine the kids reaction #they find a candid shot of young Alfred making out with Grandpa Tom? #they can’t handle the idea of Alfred getting so much play #rip to Martha and Thomas they are eating ass and smoking grass with the angels now #it’s for the best #the Gotham rogues would be found scalped if they were still kicking #gotham #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #tim drake #dc batman

[tswwwit]

Wait, does the cheating thing on the bond always works? bcs that would be kinda freaky for R!Dipper like imagine you get pinned down by someone in the corner of a br or smthng and then said person kissed you and proceeded to explode into red mist and you literally have no idea what happened.

Also, would the constellation mark be a "cursed" Mark over the years, like you would give birth to a baby and the doctor says "😟 I am so sorry ma'am,,, I'm afraid your baby has the Cipher Companion mark. ( could also be something equally as science-y like Ursa Major, Constellation Calamation, etc idk)" And you just burst into tears.

Would that mean that dipper would get into a special program(demon wrangling program or smthng, demonologist? Maybe)? Or would the parents hide it away hoping that Bill would never take their child away?

(Sorry this au is just very interesting to me,,,, I hope u get more motivation, keep writing author 💪)

These are all options! The fun part of reincarnation AU being left ambiguous is that technically any of them could happen.

#Answers #Okay but for full transparency #I never really figured out what the 'cheating' consequence is #It's a nebulous concept since I've never had to write it happening #And left ambiguous because neither of these two are into anyone else - and as a writer I like to leave my options open! #I would assume that one of the few things they agreed on when making the contract was that unwelcome advances didn't count as cheating #But that the villain in question would get what was coming to them. Very Violently. They wanna step on a landmine? Let 'em have it #Dipper would have made a frowny face at the violence but agreed. Privately thinking well that's actually a *bonus* #A built-in defense system of sorts #(Something Bill was also thinking but absolutely phrased in the possessive aspect) #Whether or not the Consequences kick in before they meet again - their equivalent of their vow renewal - is up for grabs #Dipper trying to fend off someone only to have them burst into flames and/or blood would feel a terrified sense of relief #Who knows! Maybe Dipper has protection but has a chance for other actions before they meet again! #But the odds of that occurring are very slim. Partly due to his general awkwardness #And distinct hesitation on Dipper's part. Even though he *thinks* he should be enthusiastic #He looks at the person he's in bed with and just. It feels weird. Maybe because he hasn't (in his memory) done this before #Great job Dipper!! Someone in your bed and the best you can do is kinda grimace. Real sexy. #If he does ever manage to get up to something it's not even a tenth of the time he has with his husband #Dipper reincarnations are all very unfortunately attracted as hell to Bill Cipher and they're deeply alarmed by it #I do like the idea of different parental groups finding Dipper's birthmark and having different reactions #Perhaps a random incarnation of one of his family members ends up in charge of him one time #The results would vary *wildly* depending on who it was #On a scale of Mabel Mom to Ford Uncle how are you preparing this person for his invitable enhusbanding #(Stan remains pretty much the same but has a lot of bad marriage advice) #Wow that's a lot of tags even for me #I am going to queue this and sleep

[pm-00]

Since there are no divorce papers signed could Slime technically, potentially, legally be a Pepito parent? And does this mean Mariana could have some guardianship of Sunny? More importantly how toxic do we think the yaoi is going to be when they log in at the same time, both parents of new children again???

#pepito already calls Cellbit his dad... both roier isn't the only parent with a partner... #charlie's threat on sunny's life... mariana's reaction to codeflippa... #slimeriana #they are my roman empire #ALSO just imagined Tubbo and Mariana interacting this is the best day ever for me hope if happens

[prideandprejudice05]

as an eldest daughter there is nothing more terrifying than the act of parenting your younger sibling through a crisis bc even though you do it and you know you do it well you also then revert to your own shitty coping mechanisms and realise that you should in fact never become a parent

#I just coached my brother through a uni crisis and I was shaking the entire time and now I’m a sweaty anxious mess #bc im thinking of all the things he has to do and how best it is that he breaks this news to our parents #and then how to soften the impact of my parents reaction for him #and also I’m just terrified he’s not safe and he’s not mentally well and I want to protect him #but I can’t bc I’m miles away #and now I’m sat on my couch in a panic attack drinking straight tequila #and I never want to be a parent babes I never want to feel this #and if my reaction is to drink then that’s not good parenting #plum.txt

[freeforaugust]

Communicate like an adult and get results :)

#one the best things I've learned to do in the last five years is advocate for myself #new people took over the kennel I contract at and they haven't been giving me any of the boarding nail trims #I've been a little miffed about it but didn't say anything bc I assumed it was a money thing - if I do the nail trim I get commission #but if a kennel tech does it they don't get commission #today I caught them with a special baby of mine tho and they had just gotten started so I said #I'm supposed to be the only one who does her nails #and the tech was thrilled bc she doesn't like doing nail trims anyway #so after that I pulled myself together and said something to the manager about how the old owner had me do basically all of the nail trims #and he goes #great! #we all hate doing nail trims #and I ended up with 3 today and 2 tomorrow which is an extra $25 in my pocket so that's awesome #i really have found just talking about things like an adult (calmly and rationally) can get you the things you want most of the time #ig bc I grew up with a parent who would sometimes snap at me just for speaking I always expect the worst reactions from people #but so far I've found I almost always get the best #and even when I don't get what I want #nobody has yelled at me for asking

[non-un-topo]

Have to thank my partner for realizing before I did that talking about kids with people makes me extremely dysphoric --- whereas I thought I just had a problem and hated children or something lol

#you can't really start a sentence with 'i don't hate children--' though. #do i... like them..? ehh they're fine on their own. i just don't like to be around them for very long. they freak me out. #but mostly it's parents who freak me out. or people who aren't parents yet but kids are all they talk about #(cough) my sister-in-law. #it's not ALL she talks about but she does happen to bring children up an awful lot around me. and uhh i have bad news for her. #anyway i feel like the worst person on earth but my gut reaction when i hear people talking about kids is to just get pissed off #or roll my eyes or want to leave the conversation STAT. like my flight instinct takes over. #so it was my partner who figured out that these conversations activate my dysphoria like a nuclear bomb. #dysphoria has manifested in the form of irritation for me this year. same with depression. i just feel angry and annoyed all the time #plus a bit of despair. and it gets more intense with every passing month. #my sister has decided to work in childcare and is doing a placement. she also updates me on every single thing she does in a day - #- down to how many times she shits. i wish i was kidding. #so i get a constant feed of what these random children did in a day (yesterday a girl showed my sister her poop lol) #and it would be funny and fine if it didn't make me want to jump out of my gd skin. #happens all the time at school too. #'whaaaaaaaat you don't want BAABIIEEES?? but you'd make such a good mom!!!' #ahaha No i would not thank you. jesus christ please no thank you. please. #i'm a father figure to a few of my friends and it's the best feeling in the world. that's all i need. #conversations like that always trap me. i feel like a fucking rabbit. stuck with all the aunties in the kitchen. #so i have to be a dick and not offer to clear the plates because none of the men are clearing the plates. #just........ Gender. UGH!!

[daz4i]

every time i see people complain about haru’s writing in a sense that “she was too sad over her father’s death” or “her being angry at akechi for killing her father is unrealistic, she should want him dead more than anyone” it’s like. tell me you’ve never talked to an abuse victim in your life without telling me etc etc

#or at least talked to more than like. 2 #especially when it's a parent and especially when they used to be good to you before. it's not black and white #i'd argue this is one of the best parts of haru's writing considering how much she got crewed over in that department #it's a realistic reaction. really the only issue is how fast she's forced to move on from it so the plot can progress #i'm not gonna say ''tell me you've never been abused'' bc it's not my place to assume and people can react in different ways #but that's the thing. different ways for different people. even if you'd react in a certain way that doesn't mean others would #emotions aren't logical. just bc it makes sense to you for haru to hate her father doesn't mean it's good writing to make it so

[unnecessarilygrandiose]

i needed that episode to last at least five hours longer wtf i can't process anything

#911 fox #i'm having a terrible‚ terrible feeling about that buckley han storyline #the buckley parents are on their best behaviour and for what? to be bitches later? all the forced politeness is getting on my nerves #the tension between chim and albert... it's very fascinating but also i'm in pain #i want it to continue for like 6 more episodes and also i want them to hug it out immediately #also bobby is in a worse place mentally than i expected i thought he'd be bad but he's really really bad #at least we had that very sweet moment bw him and buck #buck thinking about what it'd be like with daniel i'm🥺 #also i was so upset when margaret brought up buck being a miracle baby like no no you do not get to do that. you do not #oh and finally the long awaited lightning strike #i thought eddie would pass out but like he barely got a scratch lol he's good enough to drive?! oh he's gonna violate so many traffic rules #but also. him screaming buck buck buck again and again i was shook. i mean poor man #chim so aggressively working buck's heart to restart it i'm🥺 #also yeah he's in full cardiac arrest?! like shit?! i do get that they were hurried and worried but i wish they'd taken a moment to linger #on everyone's reactions to his heart just straight up stopping #aahhhh and that last shot. his helmet just lying there. it's fine i'm completely fine🥲

[devilfruitdyke]

will i sound crazy if i say that 'WACKY new tiktok trend has teens drinking BLEACH en masse 😱😱🤯🤯🤯❓️❓️' is anti youth propaganda

#going to try my best to explain but if i dig a hole ignore these tags #'teenagers are so out of control that they would kill themselves/others without parent/teacher/cop involvement' #is the main message of news stories like this #from that you can also read 2 things. 1 'they need more pressure on them (usually sports or *work*) to keep them in check' #2 'we can come down even harder on minority and overpoliced teens with the proper justification' #and the original videos rhat the stories are in reaction to are 1 MADE BY ADULTS. 2 happened One time #3. made 100 percent for trolling or editing

[toyfrogs]

help 😀

#I feel like I managed to accustom my friends when it comes to my mum’s weird restrictions and reactions because I tell them pretty much #everything that happens in our relationship and usually ask them for advice #but the one thing that frustrates me is that my boyfriend has no idea how bad things are and thankfully doesn’t understand what it’s like to #have a parent that controls the way you dress/wear your makeup and hair and dictates what you’re supposed to do for a living because they #want you to have a comfortable life and not go through extreme poverty like they did (I know her intentions are the best but she just #doesn’t know how to act in a way that I can comprehend fully…I love her with all my heart and it would literally kill me to have to cut ties #and I’m currently freaking out because I still haven’t told her I’m dating someone who’s not the ideal type she thinks would be a good fit #for me and it’s destroying me because I’ve never felt this good and have never been treated with so much care and respect and I’ve never had #so much reassurance that I’m loved and this relationship is just something I’m not willing to give up on or have it be taken away from me #but at the same time I NEED to tell her because how am I supposed to keep lying about which friends I’m going out with and not be able to #freely spend quality time with the person I love without stressing about time and being scared she’s gonna call or ask for pictures or #I’m planning on telling her but I’m SO terrified to lose him and also scared he’s gonna make my life a living heel and think I’m lying #about every little thing I do in the future and stop me from seeing him or having a phone or idk???? #things are way too unpredictable in this house and have always been and I HATE that

[sosoane1]

One Line One Fic

Rules: pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the mid point, pick a line, and share it! Then tag 10 people.

Tagged by @captainjimothycarter thx <3​

1. I Feel Good (The X Files)

He was holding her close, whispering the lyrics into her ear. Squeezing her tighter, but still, lovingly he planted a kiss on her neck. Muffling the lyrics he was saying. 

2. The complication of getting a prescription refill (The X Files)

She turned to look at him, realizing he didn’t care she saw him shirtless. She shrugged saying ‘‘Well, yeah, I suspected it for a while now. I just figured you would tell me when you're ready. It didn’t feel right to ask. It’s not of my business, as long as you’re happy Mulder.’’ 

3. Jim The Fish (DW 11xRiver)

‘Sweety, you can’t just take a fish out of a pond and keep it.’ She looked at the poor creature who was clearly struggling. She gently took it from his hands and released it back into the water. The fish gladly swam away, but then returned holding his head out of the water. 

4. Take me as you found me or leave me to die (The X Files) (yes the title is super dramatic)

She knew the distance between them had been slowly growing to the size of a canyon. She hated having to push him away, but it seemed like her only option to keep herself from breaking her own heart. Like she was letting herself down slowly. 

5. He Chose Me (Steggy)

So he was surprised when she said his name. First, he was surprised she was still awake, they had been lying in bed for about half an hour. And then when the words registered in his brain, he wasn’t sure he heard her right 

6. Mulder's birthday gift (The X Files)

As per usual, when Emily spotted her parents from the playground, she ran to them and demanded a piggyback ride back to the car, which Mulder obliged. He helped her buckle up as Scully started the car. The drive home was pleasant, Emily recounted how she learned that a caterpillar could become a butterfly. And said they had to draw butterflies, so she had a new artwork for Mulder’s art gallery. 

7. Nobody warned you about me? (DW 11xRiver)

Finally, they saw it, the big blue box. Like a beacon in the sea of all the people. The Tardis was standing exactly where they left it. River thanked god it was because she was not ready to drag The Doctor around the town to look for his box. 

8. A Well-Devised Plan (The X Files)

Everything was going to perfectly until the was a knock at the door. 

9. White Christmas (Steggy)

One day he hoped to work up the courage to go up to her and tell her how he feels. But just because she doesn’t mind his staring, it doesn’t mean that she feels the same way. So for now he will be content with watching from afar. Admiring her determination, her strength, her heart, her soul, everything about her. 

10. Your smile fades in the summer (The X Files)

‘‘This is my sister I was telling you about, the smart one’’ Melissa started. ‘‘Dana, right? My name’s Fox Mulder, but everyone calls me, Mulder.’’ He put his hand out to her but she just stared at it.

Not tagging anyone but if you want to do it concider yourself tagged

#I picket these using a number generator and also skiping all my drabbles #also its very hard to not leave a comment about everysingle one of theme #so these tags will be long because i can't help myself #1 they are listening to i feel good by james brown and the lyrics are so sweet even if the beat is funky #2 scully's reaction to mulder telling her that he's trans is her being like yes i know #3 river love's her idiot husband #4 i know the title is super dramatic but the fic is angsty and a one bed trop okay! #also go listen to take me as you found me by amberlin #5 the name peggy said was micheal #6 little emily enjoying life with her parents will always be the best #7 yet again the doctor is an idiot and got them into trouble #8 i also just put the line that is litteraly just the title because its funny #9 steve just wants to love peggy maybe he could do that for christmas read the fic to find out! #10 for context its a highschool au i think scully is like 14 and mulder 17 or somthing #also for 10 listen to feeling this by blink 182 the lyrics have nothing to do with the fic but i like the song and used it to title the fic #thanks for the tag #these tags are so long im gonna sign off now good night #moon's midnight post #tag game

[kieumy-archive]

I'm very curious about the abandoned house story

Okay so there’s this abandoned house relatively close to where we live. It’s famous because the owners just disappeared one day, leaving everything behind. No one knows what happened to them. My friend proposed we go inside and explore it. I was like okay, I have to go because there’s no way I’m letting them go by themselves. We had to drive around 40 minutes, and then climb a hill to get to the house. The grass was very tall since no one was taking care of it, and I could barely see where we were going. But yeah, we made it to the house. Very beautiful despite being abandoned. My friends were trying to find an entrance. Surprise surprise, the garage door is slightly opened. One of them is about to go inside when suddenly I just see them sprinting. I immediately started running down the stupid hill we just climbed, thinking “what the fuck is happening??”. We stopped to catch our breaths at the bottom. My friend told us she heard sounds inside the house. Could’ve been an animal. Could’ve been a person. Either way we didn’t want to find out, so we walked back to the car and went to the local fair instead.

#i took a video which i’m pretty sure is still on my phone but for privacy i won’t post it #but it was really interesting to see my parents’ reaction seeing their (ex) daughter try to get into an abandoned house #edit: i no longer have the video which i think it’s for the best #ask #answered #jake ⚡️

[lindwurmkai]

One of the worst things I've done in my life was to tell my socially anxious friend that if she was so worried about accidentally offending me, then the one thing she absolutely had to avoid was ignoring me. I was trying to outsmart her anxiety, thinking she just needed to understand that the thing she was afraid of was even more likely to happen if she didn't speak than if she did.

I said this because I was like 15 and had no idea how social anxiety worked. The fact that I'd been misdiagnosed with the same condition and therefore had no reason to suspect it was a whole other experience unfamiliar to me didn't help.

But I never realised until today that I was in fact speaking the truth: her silence did hurt me so much more than anything she ever said. And not only did I have previous trauma from being ignored, this friend also contributed significantly to my general "allistic people refusing to explain to the autistic person why they're mad" trauma. It wasn't always anxiety.

Now don't get me wrong; I still shouldn't have said it like that. I remember my intentions very well and they're not made less manipulative by these circumstances. But I suddenly understand why I felt so insulted by her claim that the reason she sometimes ignored me was a fear of making some kind of horrible faux pas. I was the one always making mysterious mistakes and getting no answer when I asked what I did!

I don't doubt the existence of her anxiety order, nor do I even necessarily think she was using it as an excuse. That possibility never crossed my mind at the time btw. All I could think was that 90% of the mistakes she made over the course of our friendship precisely consisted of ignoring me in some way.

#the existing trauma also explains my strong reaction ... i thought this was my chance to affect change just once #since it was abundantly clear that i had no control whatsoever in the previous situation #(which was still sort of ongoing but had for the most part been replaced by different conflicts) #here was my chance to make it stop for once! all i needed to do was exploit the loophole in her disorder! that's how that works right 😳 #we both hurt each other to approximately equal degrees growing up tbh #don't get me started on how my mother's parenting style directly primed me for this #of course the best way to help someone is to manipulate them into getting better! how else #and the most effective way to convince someone of something was finding a loophole to exploit. that was normal right #so in conclusion i feel a little less evil for this now #yes i was being combative instead of just trying to help but i had so many reasons to be genuinely hurt lol #weirdo chronicles

[siulongbao]

when ur a gaysian and you have homophobic parents so you've been in the closet and afraid to date your entire life :)

#im trying to move out in Sept with my best friend thank god #also was rewatching Everything Everywhere All at Once with my brother (his first time watching it) #and my parents walked in at the moment where Evelyn is telling Gong Gong about Joy's girlfriend #and she says this in Cantonese so my parents could not have been like 'did I mishear that?' #and their reactions were very ... disheartening for me lmao #this is my thinking train #anyways i am very sad but unsurprised bc it's just like i suspected lmao #also most unrealistic thing about the movie is Evelyn accepting Joy for who she is lmao

[willowfoot]

The older I get, the more sensitive I feel like I am to sensory stimuli/overload, especially hearing… I wonder if that’s somehow a consequence of aging (?), my ADHD meds (??), burnout, or even just General Awareness that I’m likely autistic which makes me more cognizant of potential sensory triggers lol

#self harm cw #(In tags) #then again when I was a kid I was probably more sensitive to touching/textures and I feel like that’s faded a bit as I’ve gotten older #so maybe that was just replaced by hearing? #idk lol #my noise cancelling headphones have become my best friend #esp bc my dad when working is so loud #like his voice when on the phone is SO loud #and he never wears headphones ever 😭 #I think that’s a sensory thing for him too so like conflicting access needs I guess #but man I’m glad whenever I can find some genuinely quiet time for myself #now that I think of it I wonder if some of my childhood aversion to my parents arguing was at least in part a negative reaction #to the sheer Volume of their raised voices #bc sometimes they wouldn’t even be actually arguing #just talking loudly/passionately I guess #but young me didn’t know the difference between angry loud and just loud and I would get super upset regardless #which I guess explains why my parents got so frustrated with me at times. like in their pov they were just talking #and their kid suddenly becomes aggressive and ‘irrationally’ angry and upset and whatnot #as time passed I got better at sniffing out how they were feeling emotionally #but raised voices still shut me down so quick even if it’s for an innocuous reason #trying to get better at that though #…god in hindsight all those ‘tantrums’ I had as a kid were probably reactions to sensory overload huh #at least in part #esp when I started to reflexively sh I guess #I’m trying to get better at dealing w conflict though bc I don’t want to be like. a conflict avoidant person #who you feel like you can’t talk to / confront / have constructive conversations with #mh #personal