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all0nsyidjits · 3 years

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Guess I'm going to out myself here just a bit. I'm a Lokean. In fact I'm a Godspouse have been since July of 2011. I came to realize who the imaginary friend I had as a kid who never really went away was via pop culture. Before you roll your eyes and dismiss me as a Marvel Loki fangirl let me explain. I didn't fall in love with Tom Hiddleston or his version of Loki. In fact a whole other fandom brought me to Loki. See I'm a fan of the show Supernatural and a favorite character was Gabriel who starts off as the Trickster then it is revealed that he is really the archangel Gabriel who skipped out of heaven and hid his true identity by pretending to be a trickster god, Loki to be exact. I wanted to write a fanfiction about Gabriel's time posing as Loki but I knew shit all about Norse mythology aside from the names of some of the Gods and Godessess. So I started researching and reading the lore and by accident stumbled across a few Lokean blogs. Shortly after Loki showed up and I proceeded to start to question my sanity. I'd gotten into Wicca in my early teens so I had some concept of Pagan deities and all things woo. Still having a god show up and just want to hang out and talk freaked me right the heck out. When he started flirting I was sure I'd completely lost my shit. Slowly he calmed me down and earned my trust. I found others who had been His for a long time and they helped me navigate this new relationship.

Then the Thor movies came out and suddenly everytime I went online there was a new Lokean Godspouse. Loki is not one to waste free PR I guess. I stayed active in the community for awhile but then the cattiness of some in the community made me decide to go solitary. Years passed I rarely missed the community. Loki and I just did our own thing. Sometimes Loki would be gone for some pretty long stretches. Still he was here and things were good.

Then 2020 happened. Look in all honesty I can be a bit of an introvert. I tend to withdraw from people if I sense to much conflict or tension. It's not so much my true nature but more a trauma response to withdraw. My childhood was well complicated. But I'm getting off track here what I mean to say is 2020 was a really shitty year for me and my family. In June I cought Covid 19 I never got all that sick, but the body aches and fatigue never quite went away. Then at the end of July my husband who is diabetic and has neuropathy stepped on a tac and ended up with MRSA. He nearly lost his foot and could have died. He was hospitalized for a month and out of work for three. I worked myself to a frazzle. At one point I had three jobs and was on the clock for 23 hours and 45 minutes one day. I was headed for a breakdown. My husband physically seemed to be on the mend, but his personality was no longer the kind, easygoing affectionate, man I had known for nearly twenty years. Then came the suicide attempt. Like I said it's been a rough since about this time last year.

When my husband made the suicide attempt Loki showed back up worried about both of us. Loki and my mortal husband know about each other. They like each other so please nobody suggest that Loki is trying to get rid of my mortal husband. When we married the priestess who married us was well aware that Loki was part of the ceremony and that I was marrying the both of them. We've been happily married and Loki always felt like I would be okay during his absences because I had someone else that he trusted there with me.

At first Loki tried to be my distraction from all the stress, he's really good at that. Then Loki started to worry I worried about mortal hubby and Loki worried about me. Many pleas to slow down before I had a breakdown too and Loki finally put his foot down I had to learn to say no and I had to take care of me if I was going to take care of anybody else. Finally the tears and the exhaustion came after my husband told a lie that made me look like a very bad person. My mother-in-law went off on me I had been up for three days with only about four hours sleep and those weren't even consecutive hours and I was reduced to a sobbing mess. Like so many times before Loki was there to catch me He let me cry, He let me rage, when the worst had passed I looked at Him.

"So I guess being the God of change you're going to tell me to throw away twenty years of my life and file for divorce." I asked.

"Oh you think you know me so well Little One." Even at a such a solemn moment Loki can't resist using an old nickname from back in my childhood when he was the imaginary friend who took me on wild adventures far away from whatever was going on at home at the time. It had went from term of affection for a child he had chosen to protect to a teasing dig at my 5'3 height compared to well all of Them.

"Well aren't you?" I asked.

"Little one besides being the God of Change what else am I?" I start to rattle off titles and associations.

No let me rephrase that Little One who am I married to who are my Wives his voice somehow conveying the capital W that lets me know it is Sigyn and Angrboda he speaks of.

"Sigyn and Angrboda" I say.

And what Little one is my precious Sigyn the Goddess of?

Fidelity I answer and then it hits me She had stuck by Him through far worse.

So I'm here I'm staying but there are days when I just wish I had someone to talk to. Someone human.

This year has been hard the isolation brought on by Covid 19 precautions is wearing on everyone in one way or another I think. Add to that the fact that I live in a very rural, very Conservative Christian area where I have to hide my witchy ways. Knowing full well just how many people in my life would utterly abandon me if they knew about Loki and my true beliefs. I can't talk about Him to well anyone besides my oldest and there are things about being a godspouse you wouldn't want to discuss with your kid. I used to have my husband but now talking to him about the most mundane things is a cross between walking on eggshells and navigating a mine field. I got lonely, really lonely.

Against my better judgement I decided to dip my toe back into the Lokean Community after walking away from all the groups, blogs, message boards ect in about 2013. So about 7 years as a solitary Lokean witch and I was ready to test the waters again.

I found a Lokean on social media (I don't want to draw any negative attention to this person because they are doing a fantastic job with what they are doing) so much of what they were saying resonated with me and I wanted to talk. Hey maybe I could make a friend. I commented maybe a bit too much. I meant no harm I was just excited to talk to someone after so long keeping it all to myself. Well that went spectacularly wrong and I ended up with someone who I'm pretty sure thinks of me as a rival or an enemy now. Loki being Loki was quick to remind me that my ramblings don't offend everyone. I had commented on a completely unrelated post about Him a few days earlier and within hours of the well I fucked up incident I'm reading a post by someone thanking me for talking about how I experience Loki because it resonated with them an affirmed a few things.

Then Loki was like I want you to start talking about me. I want you to rejoin the community. I was like oh hell to the no. Well you can see who won that argument. So here I am hoping I don't come to regret this.

#rokkatru #myth loki #loki deity #godspouse #lonliness #community #im a loner #loki you little shit #lokean #i fucking love him #i fucked up #socially awkward #dealing with depression #dealing with anxiety

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gaslightgallows · 5 years

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This scene popped into my head the other night. Mild spoilers for The King in Exile, maybe? Takes place post-The Dark World.

The realms spread like oil over the waters of the universe, shimmering and multicolored and unutterably vast. More than once in his life, Heimdall had been asked how he could bear to spend his existence doing nothing but watching. To stand and stare out into space for eternity sounded more like a torturous punishment, especially to young warriors eager to be up and doing, rather than one of Asgard's great posts of honour.

But how could he explain what it was, to feast the eyes and the soul, to quench the heart, with all the wonders that creation had to offer?

"Loki was the only one who ever approached understanding of my place in the order of things," said Heimdall, conversationally and seemingly to the empty observatory. "As a boy, his hunger for knowledge was unsurpassed. But as he grew older, he forgot how to appreciate knowing for its own sake. Everything he learned had to have a purpose, a practical application."

There was no response. But Heimdall knew he was not mistaking the presence in his midst. "He's a perceptive one, your husband."

A beat, and then a long sigh. "To everyone save himself," said a low, wry woman's voice. Then a shadow formed where no shadow ought to be, and out of that shadow stepped a slim black-cloaked figure, with a glint of white-blonde hair peeking from within the hood. "Hello, old friend."

"Your Highness."

"How did you know?"

Heimdall smiled. "If you had wished to remain unnoticed, even by me, you would have." He turned wise golden eyes on the erstwhile princess of Asgard. "It's good to see you in the flesh, Sigyn. Welcome home."

Sigyn, the estranged wife of Loki, folded back her hood and looked up with a grave expression. "I'm not here to stay. I only came for... so that I could find a little clarity. All the news has been so confusing."

"It's been a confusing time."

"I came to see who is dead," said Sigyn shortly, "and who is alive."

Heimdall nodded. "And are you satisfied?"

"Not really. But I know who's alive and who's dead, so at least I got what I came for." She crossed her arms over her chest and stared long into the void of space.

"Have you made contact with the king?"

"That's what I'd intended to do. I cannot shirk my duty, no matter how much I wish to avoid Odin's notice. But Odin appears to be indisposed." She raised a pale eyebrow at Heimdall. "You know Loki sits on the throne."

Heimdall nodded solemnly.

"And yet you've done nothing?"

"I was waiting for you."

"Ohh no. No, I gave up on policing Loki's good behavior a long time ago."

"When you married him."

"When Odin decided that his imperfect knowledge of the future outweighed both his son's love and respect, and my and Frigga's trust in Loki's good heart. It's a damned frustrating thing, to see a man's potential be ruined by a jealous and bitter father, well into adulthood." Sigyn's blue eyes were as frosty as the ice-fields of Jotunheim, and they snapped cold fire when she uttered Odin's name. "If you're waiting for me to help you overthrow Loki--"

"Loki is the only king we have left. His father is incapacitated by the Odinsleep, and Thor has renounced the throne. It does Asgard no good to question Loki's rule now, even if he rules in the guise of his father."

Sigyn looked sidelong at him. "It wasn't so long ago that Loki was given the king's spear of office by far more legitimate means, and you were willing enough to court treason to remove him then."

That accusation stung, and all the more for being true. "I was wrong," said Heimdall simply. "I believed Loki engineered the entire business to discredit Thor and usurp the throne. It was easy enough to believe. He's... changed, Sigyn," he added gently. "He's not the man you remember."

"Neither are you, if you can think that of him." She turned away from the stars, and from him, and gazed down the long glowing thoroughfare of the Bifrost, up to the gleaming gold spires of the city. "What do you wish of me, then? A testimonial?"

"Your opinion. He did not have to take the throne this time. He could have let the world think him dead, and been free. But he came home and took Odin's place, and in secret. Why?"

She tipped her head to one side, considered, and then laughed softly. "Stubbornness. Spite, perhaps. He's been told so often that he would make a poor king that he refuses to believe it, even when the evidence of his own character is there, plain as day. And spite is a very powerful motivator. He'll force himself to be a good king. And if he remembers to do things his way, rather than Odin's, he may well manage it. He won't be the sort of ruler Asgard is used to... but we've had a few of those. Maybe we'll be better for someone who's first impulse isn't to attack from the front at the worst possible moment."

Heimdall nodded, recognizing the wisdom in her words. Besides which, there were no other options. "For all his mischief, and all the trouble he has caused, Loki has never been a vicious man."

"Not of his own volition," Sigyn corrected, very softly. "I know what he did on Earth. But with his own mind restored to him, and without the shadows of his father and brother looming over him, perhaps he will make a fair king."

"Especially," Heimdall added, "with a wise and brave queen by his side, if only in secret."

But she shook her head. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because… I can't. Odin may be no threat right now, but until he's passed beyond this life... I can't."

#gaslight blogs about fic #here have a scene #sigyn the tired of your shit #heimdall is the best don't @ me #loki x sigyn #series: the king in exile #big damn asgardian soap opera #mcu #space vikings #fanfic

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writernotwaiting · 7 years

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Mis-Matched

Right, so I know I haven’t posted anything on my over-sized WIP since April, but here I am starting another fic that I have absolutely no business getting into. At least this one should be shorter than the other (famous last words). Sorry.

Title: Mis-Matched Rating: M (this is subject to change at the whim of the author’s muses) Characters: Loki, Sigyn, Frigga, Theoric, and various supporting OCs Description: This is an attempt to fill the propmt requested by @someillplanetreigns (and now I can’t even tag you!): “you asked for prompts and pairings - I would like to humbly beg for more Logyn? I don’t have a great prompt, but this odd thought is in my head about a way to make the comic plot about Theoric and the marriage into something about marriage by proxy? Maybe something like Loki has the duty of proxy-marrying Sigyn cos Theoric’s in the army, and totally plays everyone by going the whole hog and appearing as Theoric, but then Sigyn, who thought Theoric was dull as ditchwater and Loki is… well, y’know, Loki.” I’m not sure this is precisely what you wanted, so I apologize in advance for my wayward muses – Loki does what he wants. Chapter: 1 of 2? Acknowledgements: thank you @icybluepenguin for serving as one of my favorite institgaors and sounding boards – you rock!

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Mis-Matched, Part 1

Herr Braggison loomed over Sigyn as she slunk down lower into the chair, nose buried deep in her book, brown hands clutching the pages tighter as he moved closer.

“Sigyn — I just received a letter from the All-mother.”

“Mmmhmm.”

“Apparently, the fighting at the front has become entrenched.”

“MmMMMmm.”

“Sigyn!”

“Hmmm?”

“Put the book down and look at me when I speak to you.”

Sigyn abruptly dropped the large hardback with a whack onto the desk, folding her hands demurely as she smiled up angelically at her guardian.

A dark scowl passed over his face before he began again, “I have just received a letter from the All-mother that tells me the fighting has become entrenched at the front. As such, Theoric will not be granted leave to attend your upcoming nuptials.”

“Oh really?” Suddenly Sigyn was all attention, back straight, eyes bright.

Herr Braggison’s scowl deepened. “As you know, there is a limited time during which you must be married, or the contract must be annulled or re-negotiated.” Sigyn nodded and a little smile began to blossom across her face.

“As a result, we will have to fulfill the contract by proxy.”

“WHAT?”

Her guardian flinched, then frowned once more. “Yes. There is a legal provision that allows for marriage by proxy. Thankfully, the All-mother has offered to send a representative from the court who can serve as a stand-in for your intended spouse, after which you will go to court with him to serve the queen until Theoric can return from the hostilities. In this way, the contract will be fulfilled. No fuss. Everything perfectly legal. No re-negotiations necessary. Neither will we be forced to seek out another candidate. You see? Everything is taken care of. In another month, I will have completed my legal obligations as your guardian by providing you with an appropriate husband of suitable political standing, and you will no longer have to endure my presence.”

Sigyn rose out of her chair. “Wait just a minute …”

“No. no. no. You and I have both been anxious to get rid of each other for years, and now here’s your chance. Theoric is a highly-respected officer is His Majesty’s army with excellent political connections. It’s a marriage much better than anything you could have hoped to get had your own family been in charge of the negotiations. I will not put this alliance at risk just because your intended can’t keep a schedule.”

Herr Braggison paused at this point long enough to line up Sigyn’s book precisely with the edge of the table. “You will be married by the end of this month, and go off to live under the protection of the All-mother until your husband gets back from the war. Either way, you will be out of my house! You. Your books. Your seider. Your temper. Your … disorder … your …” And here he looked her up and down waving his hands around in the air before spitting out, “everything! The delegation from court will arrive one week prior to the ceremony. End. Of. Discussion.”

And even as Sigyn drew breath for a reply, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the library, leaving her fuming.

“Ohhhhaaaaahhhhrrrgh! My ‘everything,’ is it? My evil alien outlander contamination, you mean! Go fuck a goat, Iric! I never signed that cursed contract! You think you’re so clever, getting everything lined up a month before my majority so it wasn’t necessary!”

Sigyn flung the chair backwards before she began pacing about the room. “A month! A month and then I’ll be privileged to sit around with the All-mother’s handmaidens doing needlework until my eyes cross and listening to a bunch of insect-brained idiots gossip about big, blond musclebound, testosterone-poisoned bachelors who have rocks for brains. And then, whenever my husband returns triumphant from the battlefield, I will be expected to take up housekeeping like a meek little domestic pet and cater to the whims of my own personal rock-headed Einherjahr! Oh, look at my lovely brown-skinned alien — isn’t she exotic? If I weren’t ready to burn this house down and be rid of you, Iric, I would set fire to those contracts myself! What happened to the spinster option? Why could there not be a clause in the papers for that? Why marriage? And why him? Dearest Norns, he is so boring! And stupid! And … Aesir!”

But the dictates of her father’s will were explicit, Sigyn was the legal ward of her guardian until she was suitably married. Period. There was no spinster clause. No femme sole provision. Only marriage.

When the delegation arrived, she was supposed to be there. “Supposed to,” being the operant phrase. She was not. She was not there to greet them in the grand hall as they entered. She was not there for the state dinner that evening. She did not show for the formal brunch the following morning. Instead, Sigyn went out to an old, disused greenhouse and started target practice, pointing at tiny widows in succession and creating a lovely pattern by throwing runes at individual panes and shattering them. Sigyn filled her lungs with the ozone after-burn of her seider as she went.

K-pish! “That’s for my mother for getting herself knocked off by that stupid wizard!”

K-pish! “That’s for my father for drawing up that ridiculous contract!”

K-pish! “That’s for Herr Braggison for being such a money-grubbing accountant of a negotiator!” She inhaled deeply.

K-pish! “That’s for the All-mother who refuses to nullify that stupid-ass contr-“

“Good morning, Lady Sigyn!”

“Ahhh!” Sigyn jumped a good six inches off the ground and fired off flash of blue seider that was just barely deflected by a green shield thrown up by her visitor.

“Goat’s piss—I’m so sorry!” And then just as quickly she covered her mouth when she realized who he was. “Hel! I mean, Sorry! Shit.” She slapped her forehead. “Oh, your majesty, I so very sorry, are you hurt? You startled me … I mean, I had no idea you were part of the delegation. I didn’t … I’m so very sorry. Are you hurt? Oh Norns, this is terrible.”

Sigyn hastily bent into a deep curtsy and lowered her head. “I’m so sorry!”

She maintained her obeisance for several long moments and grimaced as she thought she heard him make some vague noise of disapproval, but then the noise shifted a bit, and she suddenly realized he was laughing.

She scowled and jerked up her head. “Are you laughing at me?”

He was laughing. It started as an almost silent chuckle as he tried to suppress it, his shoulders shaking ever more violently until he was full-on laughing, smile wide across face. Her scowl deepened for a moment, but then she couldn’t help but smile back, and before long she broke into giggles of her own.

A full minute passed like this before the prince closed the distance between them and reached out to help her off her knees with one hand and wipe his eyes with the other.

“Oh, by all that’s blessed, you should have seen the look on your face! I should have loved to capture that image forever!”

“Your majesty, I really am so sorry. No one has ever followed me out here. I never expected someone to show up, least of all you, and I was, well, preoccupied.”

He looked up at her handiwork. “I can see that. Quite an inventive way to work out your frustrations.”

Sigyn blushed deeply when she remembered what she had said. “Ohhhh! You heard that, didn’t you? Please don’t say anything. I’m already on the verge of … well, I guess I don’t know what Herr Braggison would do to me at this point — permanent confinement until the contract is signed, I suppose, so I don’t embarrass him any farther? And the queen … I know it’s not her fault. A contract is a contract and can’t be unwritten. I’m just. No. I didn’t mean it. It’s fine. Really. It’s all good.” And she folded her hands and smiled a beauty pageant smile that looked very nearly convincing.

Loki nodded slowly. “Well, I won’t mention it, if you like.”

She let out a breath she’d been holding. “That’s very gracious of you, your majesty.” She dipped a tiny curtsey once more and her smile softened into something more natural.

In response, he flashed her a smile that could easily have turned her into a pile of goo had it not been for the words that followed. “Please, call me Loki, after all, we are going to get married next week.”

“Oh yeah, “married”. Ha ha.” Her smile abruptly turned brittle and she sobered considerably, reminding herself, Not flirting. Off the market. Big tag marked SOLD! And Loki backed off with raised hands.

“Sorry.” He raised an eyebrow. “I gather you aren’t thrilled at the prospect?”

The beauty pageant smile returned. “Oh no, it’s a great privilege. Theoric is an excellent match. My guardian has worked very hard to ensure an advantageous contract, and I’m grateful that you’ve agreed to serve as a proxy to ensure the terms are fulfilled.”

A smirk spread over Loki’s face. “Did you memorize that speech?”

Her eyes looked slightly ill at that that, but the smile didn’t waiver and she didn’t answer. Loki inhaled and he backed off once more, pursing his lips as he concluded, “Right. An excellent match.”

An uncomfortable pause followed until Loki finally started up a new topic, “I was unaware, Lady Sigyn, that you practiced seider. Have you studied long?”

“Oh! Well! It’s mostly self-taught. Mother had just started my lessons when she passed away, so I’ve had to rely on the books she left in the library. That’s the one argument I won when father’s estate was cleared out—I managed to keep control of nearly her entire library. I’m afraid I’ll never be a master of the craft like she was, but I’ve managed pretty well, for all that.”

“You have her books? I wonder if you would let me take a look while I’m here.”

“I would be honored Prince Loki.”

“Loki. Just Loki.” And he extended his elbow to escort her back to the house.

She hesitated a second before resting her hand in the crook of his elbow. “Thank you, m’lord. Just Loki, then.”

*******************

Later that night, Loki stood in his room and reached out to draw a set of runes on the mirror, eyes moving deliberately as they followed the green shimmer as it creeped in from the edges of the frame, turned slowly to gold, and then cleared to reveal the face of Frigga, All-mother.

Loki inclined his head, “Good evening, Mother. It is good to see you.”

Frigga offered a wry smile as she replied, “Good evening to you, as well, Loki. How has your ambassadorship fared today? Did you finally manage to greet Theoric’s intended?”

“I did, indeed.” Loki returned her smile. “I found her out in an old greenhouse knocking out window panes with her seider.”

“Really?”

“I barely missed getting winged myself when I startled her.” He snickered. “Why did you not warn me of the danger I would face?”

“I had no idea she practiced seider. She was so young when her mother passed, I assumed that she never trained.”

“Apparently she is self taught. Is that even possible?”

“Not unheard of, I suppose, but certainly rare. How did you find her — will the marriage suit, do you think?”

“Do you wish my honest answer, Mother, or a diplomatic one?”

“Loki,” she chided.

Loki’s face soured. “Frankly, I can’t imagine a more poorly made match. She is bright, well-read, quick-witted, and blunt, whereas Theoric is, well—none of those things. They will make each other perfectly miserable. I can’t imagine why he would seek out such a match, unless she’s …”

Loki read the warning on his mother’s face immediately, “ahhhh, of course, unless she’s rich.” He paused. “She is, isn’t she? He’s to get a big, fat dowry.”

“Shush, Loki. Everything has already been arranged. If the couple are pleased enough with the match to sign the contract, there is nothing to be done against it.”

“I’m not entirely sure she is. What does she get out of this arrangement?”

“Out of her guardian’s house, I suppose. He has certainly made no secret of the fact that she has been a difficult charge. I believe she is anxious to cut those ties as soon as she can.”

“By marrying Theoric?” He asked dubiously.

“As near as I can remember, the terms of the wardship dictate that she cannot leave her guardian’s care until she marries. It’s an old fashioned arrangement, but it cannot be altered.”

“But … Theoric?”

“Loki—it is not your place to approve or disapprove of the match. You are there only to ensure the contract is fulfilled before the terms are up. There must be mitigating circumstances that lead her guardian to believe that another match might be difficult to attain, or perhaps difficult to attain with such advantageous conditions. Marriage negotiations can be complicated, especially for orphans like Sigyn.”

“Like Sigyn.”

“Yes, like Sigyn.”

“You mean outlanders.”

“Yes. People prefer …” And here Frigga had the decency to hesitate and even blush a bit.

“Their own kind.”

“Well, yes. It’s tricky.”

“Right.” His face had drawn into a deep scowl by that point, but knew she was right. Aesir are insular and slow to accept anything, or anyone, different. But Theoric! That imbecile. She’s wasted on him.

#fan fiction #Loki #Sigyn #logyn #Marvel #MCU #Norse mythos #sort of #arranged marriage #Sigyn has anger issues #snark #because it's Loki #swears #because it's Sigyn

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thenewbuzwuzz · 7 years

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Some of the Buffyverse fics I enjoyed in July

An I Have Been Reading Some More post. :) 1. NOT SPUFFY The Letters (the 84, Charing Cross Road remix) by DragonsPhoenix. Anya/Snape, G, 8415w, complete. @restfield was right, this is ingenious and fun! Severus Snape is a customer of the Magic Box. "A relationship in letters, e-mails, and wedding invitations."

The Problem with Kindly Interventions by Quinara. Dawn&Andrew, G, 1094w, complete. Post-series friendship ficlet with an awesome and deeply satisfying twist on the Sharing a Bed trope. mermaid magic by The_Eclectic_Bookworm (@jenny-calendar). Jenny/Giles with considerable background queerness, G, 13,140w, complete. AU in which most everyone is very, very cute. Also, they're pirates and mermaids.

Nice Girls Don't Stay For Breakfast by beer_good_foamy. Fuffy, PG13, ~900w, complete. Lovely, quieter Fuffy moment after Homecoming. How do you slay a vampire with a bottle of wine? :) 2. SPUFFY River Mist by the_moonmoth. G, 159w, complete. Gorgeous post-Chosen grief poem.

Somewhere to Be Flying by zabjade. PG, 540w, complete. It's not just an ice-skating ficlet, it's a season 6 ice-skating ficlet!

Hills of Iowa by the_moonmoth. G, 2910w, complete. Post-NFA. Buffy has a new job, a kind of a meditative one. There's insight and forgiveness.

The Page of Wands by Quinara. T, 11,319w, complete. TAROT. Advanced tarot. And Buffy gets to hang out in Spike's head.

Here We Go by halincandenza. NC-17, 8,654w, WIP! Trans!Buffy! He goes by Ezra now! His friends are wonderfully supportive, and so's his mortal enemy. ^^ It's all adorable and educational... until the Initiative, then it's horrifying and educational.

A Most Exquisite Corpse by yellowb, sandy_s, relurker, acekoomboom, bewildered, Rezol87, Sunalso, Cohava, OffYourBird. NC-17, 27,420w, complete. It's an exquisite corpse! Each author only saw the last paragraph of the previous chapter. And then they got inventive... they kind of had to. *g*

Crossing into unchipped territory by dutchbuffy. M, 74,619w, complete. Buffy lands in an alternate dimension and meets an unchipped Spike, and it's all plot twists and trope subversion from there. *sighs happily* The sequel also subverts tropes, mostly the trope that pregnant people can't have horrible, grotesque adventures.

A Different Kind of Hell by OffYourBird. NC-17, 90,153w, complete. Spuffy accidentally travel from season 5 to Victorian England, and it's *so good*. @womanaction recced it, but I'll rec it again. There are wonderful historical details and poetry, and at least one huge, fun plot twist, and... time is weird. :)

Crave a.k.a. FILF by NautiBitz. Explicit and tabu, 42 chapters, *ostensibly a WIP, but the plot is resolved. I'd been avoiding this fic because I thought it would upset me, based on the summary. But then Sigyn recced it on EF. :D It DID upset me, but it's such a masterfully crafted AU! I don't think I've seen any all-human story preserve the darker, more twisted aspects of canon Spuffy so thoroughly. The obvious upsetting parts were handled as delicately as is probably possible without ruining the plot (well, except when the characters happened to like things that squicked me, and then they wallowed in them... mileages seriously vary with this fic, judging from what I saw of the other comments). And there WAS plot! With amazing twists and backstory. Also, there was so much kink. So much. :)

#btvs #spuffy #fic recs

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freudensteins-monster · 7 years

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The Wager

@captain-biryani asked for Logyn x 10 Things I Hate About You. Sorry it’s late, and I hope it’s okay. xoxox

Character descriptions inspired by @nanihoosartblog Logyn High School AU posts.

Loki sat in the living room, a sharp contrast to the cheerful décor in his signature black, trying not to sigh with boredom whilst Odin ripped into a hungover Thor yet again.

“I’ve had had it up to here with your immaturity and your recklessness!” the old man shouted whilst his wife lingered in the background, ready to step in if things went too far. “Do you have any idea how many favours I had to call in just so that the police wouldn’t press charges?! Do you honestly think you will get into any decent college with that sort of drunken buffoonery on your record?!”

“I’m sorry, father. I wasn’t thinking-”

“Exactly!” Odin roared. “You weren’t thinking! You never think things through. You only care about having ‘fun’ in the moment, consequences be damned. Well, I have had enough! You are grounded until you graduate!!”

“Odin…” Frigga chided quietly before Thor had a chance to object.

“Fine,” Odin grumbled. “A month, then. And after that you will have a strict curfew. Home by eight every evening. No excuses.”

“Father! You can’t be serious!” Thor whined, failing to know when to keep his mouth shut.

“Deadly serious,” Odin shot back. “You will be home by eight. You will eat dinner, you will do your homework, and you will go to bed at a reasonable hour.”

“And have no social life! If you wanted me to become like Loki so badly why didn’t you just say so?” Thor grumbled petulantly, sparing a glare at his brother sitting quietly at the other end of the couch.

Frigga whispered in Odin’s ear and Odin smirked.

“Very well,” Odin murmured before turning back to address his son. “Your mother has thought of reasonable compromise.” Thor perked up, shifting to the edge of his seat. “You can go to parties on the weekend… when your brother does.”

“What?!” Thor bellowed, jumping to his feet. “But he’s a freak – he never leaves his room!”

“Then you’ll never leave your room. Oh, I do like the sound of that,” Odin smiled, acknowledging his wife’s cleverness.

“This is so unfair!” Thor shouted before storming off to his room to fume and eventually sleep off the rest of his hangover.

Odin awkwardly acknowledged Loki’s patience and made a hasty retreat for his office. Loki bit back a sigh and rose off the couch, smiling indulgently as his mother pulled him in for a hug.

“I’m sorry, Loki. I don’t know what your father insisted you be here for Thor’s punishment.”

“It’s because Odin wants to ensure I feel involved in family affairs, and he wants to prove to me that doesn’t favour Thor.” Frigga winced at Loki’s use of his adopted father’s first name. He hadn’t given up the habit, not in the year since they’d told him the truth. “What I don’t understand is why you had to drag me into this literally. You know Thor’s going to redirect all his anger about this at me, make it my fault that his enviable social life is flagging.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much, my love,” Frigga assured him. “Your father will probably change his mind before the month is out, or Thor will just take to having parties here. You know he always finds a way out of these things,” she sighed.

“Don’t I ever,” Loki muttered, climbing the stairs to his room, fighting back against the heavy bassline of Thor’s deliberately loud music with his favourite metal album.

A month later…

“I can’t believe my father won’t change his stupid mind,” Thor whined to his friends as they loitered on the bleachers during a spare period.

“We’ll just have to party at your house,” Fandral suggested.

“My father seems to have thought of that and has cleared his schedule of any trips away for the foreseeable future. Bastard,” Thor muttered, pacing up and down the row.

“Well,” Sif mused. “What about his rule regarding Loki?”

“What about it?”

“You can go out when Loki goes out. So… perhaps invite him to the parties you want to go to,” Sif suggested meekly, knowing it was a long shot.

“Loki would say no simply to spite me,” Thor replied. “And it’s not like he’s shown any interest in parties before. He seems content to waste away in his room until he can run away to college.”

“We simply need to find a way to make Loki want to go,” Hogun suggested, using half his allotted words for the day.

“And how do you suggest we do that? Wait for Halloween so Loki will feel like he fits in?” Fandral snorted.

“Why does anyone go to parties?” Sif thought aloud.

“To hang out with friends, to drink, and to get…” Volstagg trailed off, and each of the boys in her company promptly averted their gaze. Sif went to roll her eyes at them but was struck with an idea.

“We need to get Loki a girlfriend,” she announced. “Get him interested in a girl, encourage the girl to go to the parties we want to go to, and Loki will want to go to them to see her!”

“That’s excellent, Sif,” Fandral commended sarcastically. “Just one problem. What kind of girl would want to date Loki?”

“She doesn’t have to want to date him, she just has to want to do us a favour,” Sif shrugged, unable to figure another way out of their conundrum.

“Amora would probably do it,” Volstagg suggested absently as he fished a packet of crisps out of his jacket.

“No,” Thor replied sharply. Amora had ‘crazy ex-girlfriend’ written over all her. Even when inebriated Thor knew better than to cosy up to her.

“I could probably talk one of the junior girls into helping us out,” Fandral smirked, running a hand over the facial hair he was growing in.

Sif sneered at the patchy stubble in disgust. “As usual, you over estimate your charms. I highly doubt you could seduce a girl into dating someone else. What we need to do is find a girl that Loki might be genuinely interested in, and just ensure their paths cross.”

“Let’s go find some goths, then,” Thor declared, heading back to the main building.

Two days of talking to every girl in their grade with a penchant for black clothes and excessive eyeliner and they were still no closer to finding a girl to date Loki. Whilst some of them admitted, under duress, that they found him attractive, they also said that his personality left a lot to be desired. ‘Moody’ and ‘just plain rude’ were common descriptors.

“This is hopeless,” Thor whined, smacking his head against his locker.

“What about her?” Volstagg asked as a girl with copper hair and tanned skin pushed her way through the throngs of students.

“Watch where you’re going!” she snarled, pushing back against a few senior boys who were deliberately trying to get in her way.

“Moody… rude…” Sif ticked off. “Not goth though,” she added, noting the girls grungy wardrobe.

“Not a deal breaker,” Thor murmured as the group watched the girl make her way to down the row of lockers, stopping in front of a notoriously difficult-to-open one. With a little patience and properly applied force she opened it on her first try earning her several impressed glances.

“Clever,” Thor mused, hope brewing in his chest as she started switching out text books and shoving a few additional novels into her bag. “Who is she?” he asked, and all eyes turned to Fandral who was already busy getting the details from one or more of his girlfriends via text.

“Sigyn,” he read aloud. “Scholarship student. Transferred here at the start of term. Hoping to get a fine arts scholarship to a college on the East Coast.”

Thor was already making his way over to her before Fandral had finished talking.

“Hi,” he greeted, giving her his best, most charming smile.

“What do you want?” she asked sharply without looking up, slamming her locker shut.

“Uh, well,” Thor stammered, not used to women who weren’t Sif failing to swoon in his presence. “Um, long story short: I want you to date my brother.”

Sigyn blinked. “Long story long?”

“I’m grounded indefinitely. But my father put in a clause that says I can go out if my brother does. So I want you to date my brother and take him to parties so that I can go to them.”

“Oh… In that case, no,” she replied tersely, trying to end the conversation by storming off. Thor caught up to her, noting her ratty backpack, second-hand books, and clothes that were definitely goodwill grunge not newer mass-produced pseudo-grunge, and blurted out the first thing that popped into his head.

“I can pay you.”

Sigyn hesitated and hated herself for it. Thor dug out a fifty from his wallet and held it out to her, pushing down the guilt he felt at the girl’s hungry look.

“Fifty just to go and talk to him,” Thor said quietly, pressing the money into her hand. “And if he doesn’t make you want to run screaming into the hills,” he jested. “I’ll give you another hundred if you can get him to go to Stark’s party this Saturday.”

Thor waited more patiently for Sigyn’s answer than he had waited for anything else in his entire life.

“Who’s your brother?” she asked, shoving the fifty into the pocket of her jeans.

Thor practically skipped back to his friends.

“She’ll do it. She’ll go talk to him today, and with any luck I’ll get to go to Stark’s party.”

“How’d you get her to agree to it?” Sif asked.

“Paid her,” he replied smugly as the bell rang.

“This will not end well,” Hogun sighed as they made their way to their next class, but his warning fell on deaf ears.

Loki was sitting at his usual table in the library when he sensed someone hovering nearby. He glanced up from his book to see the new girl from his English class looking at the empty seat in front of him nervously.

“Do you mind if I sit?” she asked.

Loki shook his head and turned back to his book as she got settled. He expected her to get out her phone like most of students did when there wasn’t a teacher’s presence nearby to scare them into studying, but no, she got out her textbooks and her notebook and got to work. They worked in silence but Loki couldn’t help looking up from his books from time to time to see what she was doing. Eventually she shoved her text books aside and pulled out a sketchbook, a finger toying with a stray strand of copper hair as she became engrossed in the lines on her page. She filled one page and turned to the next empty one, flicking away a red flyer that had been shoved between the pages with a grimace.

“Sorry,” she murmured when she caught Loki looking at her curiously. She picked up the flyer from where it had encroached on his side of the table and shoved it into her bag. “Some girls in my art class told me about this party on weekend. All the cool kids will be there,” she repeated disdainfully.

“And you wish to be one of the cool kids?” he asked, reeling back a little when her eyes met his, realising that they were the first words he’d spoken to her.

“I’d settle for making friends,” she replied bashfully, putting her books away as the bell rang.

He followed her out of the library, walking in step with her when he realised that they had English next.

“I’m Sigyn, by the way,” she said as they neared their classroom.

“Loki,” he replied, gracing her with a rare smile, before taking his usual seat at the back of the room.

“Loki!” Thor called for the hundredth time that day, banging an oversized fist against his bedroom door. “Come on! It’ll be fun, I promise. Stark’s girlfriend is inviting a bunch of her friends. Private school girls, Loki! Come on!” he begged.

Loki sighed, pressing his hands against the side of his head to push back the headache Thor was giving him. Like he wanted to go meet a bunch of stuck up private school girls. They were probably no more interested in talking to him than the girls at his own school were. Girls who turned their nose up at the way he dressed or the books and music he liked. Or, worst of all, girls who changed their tune when they found out who his brother was. But there was Sigyn, he thought glancing at his door. Sigyn hadn’t even blinked at his wardrobe choices, and carried a couple of his favourite books in her bag. And she didn’t mind being seen with him, choosing to sit beside him the next time they had English together. He’d seen her struggling with the Shakespeare text they were studying and had almost worked up the nerve to offer to help her with it. But now it was the weekend and he wasn’t going to see her again until Wednesday, unless…

She’s probably not even going to be there, he reminded himself as he dug through his wardrobe, trying to distinguish one black item from the next. But she had said she wanted to make some friends, and she’d look so lonely when she said it…

Loki huffed as he shoved his feet into his favourite boots and adorned his wrists and fingers with the requisite amount of jewellery. He had just finished applying some eyeliner and was slicking back his hair when Thor started banging on his door again. Loki threw it open and pushed passed his startled brother.

“I’m driving. And I’m not staying long.”

“YES!!” Thor roared, practically picking Loki up and carrying him down the stairs.

“Let go of me, you oaf! Before I change my mind,” Loki growled, straightening his shirt while Thor raced for the door.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Odin called from the living room, moving from the couch to glare at his sons with suspicion.

“Well, you said that I could go out when Loki did, and look! Loki’s going out,” Thor beamed, bouncing on his toes.

Odin sighed. “Be back by 1am,” he said to Loki before turning his stern gaze upon his older son. “And you will return home when Loki does. If you are even five minutes behind him I will revert to my original decision and ground you until graduation. Am I making myself clear?”

“Yes, father,” Thor said, attempting to sound serious but unable to wipe the smile from his face. “We should get going. Goodnight!” he called, waving at his mother and running for the car before Odin changed his mind.

“I’m already regretting this,” Loki muttered, closing the door behind him.

“This is not good,” Odin groaned as he settled back on the couch beside his wife.

“Wait and see, dear,” Frigga smiled, passing him his book. “Wait and see.”

The moment Loki stepped inside Stark’s house Thor was pushing a red solo cup into his hands.

“Loosen up and have some fun,” Thor ordered before abandoning Loki to go find his friends.

Loki tipped the drink into the nearest antique vase of expensive flowers and scoured the room for a head of copper hair. He moved from room to room, trying not to look as foolish as he felt. He found Thor again, doing a keg stand in the living room, as the rest of his teammates cheering him on, and walked in the opposite direction. Thor’s friends had never thought very highly of him, and after Loki played a harmless prank on them in their junior year (involving their brand new uniforms and food dye in the sprinkler systems) they’d had it out for him. Loki foresaw himself being thrown into Stark’s Olympic-sized swimming pool if he didn’t keep out of their way.

He pushed his way into the kitchen and decided ‘to hell with it’ and reached for a drink.

“I wouldn’t if I were you,” a familiar voice warned.

Loki turned and felt his heart skip a beat as Sigyn smiled at him.

“…hi,” he murmured, his voice lost beneath the chaos of the party.

“It’s really cheap beer,” Sigyn advised, reaching past him for a shot of something red. “But Stark didn’t skimp on the spirits.”

Loki picked up a blue shot, clinking the glass against Sigyn’s before knocking it back. They both coughed as the alcohol burned their throats, then laughed at each other, then coughed some more.

“Do you want to go somewhere quieter?” Loki asked, revelling in how close he had to get to her to be heard, smiling at the way Sigyn’s freckles darkened as she blushed.

She nodded her assent and Loki took her by the hand, leading her away from the swarms of teenagers and up the stairs. Tony had barred the way, with velvet rope of all things, as he always did, in a poor attempt to keep people for having sex in any of six bedrooms upstairs. As a secondary measure he always made sure his parents’ bedroom door was locked, as was his own. Loki, not wanting to seem remotely presumptuous, didn’t make for any of the bedrooms, instead he walked down the hall and stopped in front of a large bay window. He pushed it open and stepped out onto the roof, holding out a hand to help Sigyn through.

“Wow…” Sigyn remarked once she got settled, her eyes roaming over the lush, manicured Stark estate. “Tony’s parents are really loaded, huh?”

“Mhmm,” Loki replied dumbly, unsure what to say now that he’d gotten Sigyn alone.

“I didn’t think you came to these sort of things,” she commented, fidgeting with a loose button on her plaid shirt.

“Not really my scene, no, but I wanted to see you,” Loki admitted, too nervous to gauge her reaction.

“Loki…” Sigyn sighed, her body tensing.

Loki felt himself deflate; hope was for fools.

“Sorry for bothering you,” he muttered, moving to escape back through the window.

“Wait. Please,” Sigyn begged, digging into the pocket of her jeans. “Here,” she said, handing him a crumpled fifty dollar bill.

“What’s that for?” Loki asked warily.

“Thor paid me to talk to you. He wanted me to get you to come to the party so he could,” she confessed, shaking as she fought back tears. “I’m so sorry.”

“He paid you to get me here?” Loki repeated through gritted teeth, sitting back down next to Sigyn in a huff. “But you didn’t even ask me to come,” he said after a moment’s contemplation.

“That’s what makes it worse,” Sigyn sniffled. “I like you, and you like me, and I ruined it,” she cried, trying to get Loki to take the tainted bill from her. Loki curled his hand around hers, fighting against every instinct he had to cut his losses, cut Sigyn out of his life, and run.

“Why did you agree to it?” Loki had to know.

“I needed the money,” Sigyn replied, hanging her head in shame. “I hated myself for taking it, but I really needed it… and then I met you… I’m an awful person, I’m so sorry.”

“Keep it,” Loki whispered, pushing the bill, clenched in Sigyn’s hand, away. When Sigyn looked up in surprise he kissed her, briefly, sweetly, and wiped away her tears with the pads of his thumbs. “Keep the money,” he repeated. “I want to believe that you wouldn’t have made such an agreement unless you were desperate. And I know that you wouldn’t have confessed unless you were a good person, Sigyn. A good person, but a foolish one,” he smirked, trying to lighten the mood.

“How so,” Sigyn demanded, her lip curling in amusement.

“You should have held out for double.”

“Oh, well, the fifty was just to talk to you. I get an extra hundred for getting you here,” Sigyn teased.

“Oh really?” Loki laughed, his eyes dancing with mischief as an idea started for form.

Thor was rummaging through his locker before heading for practice, his friends milling about nearby, when Sigyn appeared beside him, clearly her throat loudly.

“Sigyn!” Thor bellowed, pulling her into a bone crushing hug. “I don’t know how you got Loki to go to one of Stark’s parties but you have my thanks,” he beamed.

“I’d prefer your cash,” Sigyn replied tersely.

“Right, right,” Thor muttered, digging out his wallet. “There’s a hundred for Stark’s party, and there’s another hundred in it for you if you can get him to go to Bucky’s party after the game on Friday night.”

“Make it two. Half now,” Sigyn countered, holding a hand out expectantly.

“No way! You don’t get to dictate terms,” Thor scoffed.

“Then you’ll have to find someone else to drag Loki to your friends parties,” Sigyn replied, folding her arms across her chest defiantly.

Thor deliberated for a split second before conceding defeat; he needed Sigyn.

“One twenty-five,” he bargained.

“Two.”

“One fifty,” he begged.

“Two.”

“One seventy-five,” he pleaded.

“Two,” Sigyn smirked, reaching out once more.

“Fine. Half now,” Thor grumbled, slapping the bills into her palm petulantly. “And he has to stay out until curfew. No ducking out early.”

“Whatever you say,” Sigyn replied cheerfully, turning on the spot and walking away with a spring in her step. She was joined shortly by Loki who took the money off her hands. He turned back to Thor, making a show of counting them.

“Thanks for this, Thor,” Loki grinned wickedly. “It’ll pay for a nice steak dinner,” he gloated, shoving the bills into his pocket and leading Sigyn away. “Oh,” he called back over his shoulder. “And you can forget about Bucky’s party. Sigyn and I are going to stay in and watch a movie this weekend. And the weekend after that, and the weekend after that…”

Thor watched on numbly as the pair stumbled out of the school building, leaning on each other as they laughed themselves sick.

“What the hell just happened?” Thor demanded.

Hogun just smiled grimly and shook his head, patting his friend on the back in mock sympathy.

“I told you so.”

#freudensteins-fics #logyn #loki #sigyn #10 things i hate about you #captain-biryani #movie prompt meme #fanfiction #mcu #thor #sif #fandral #hogun #high school au

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