#and that has just been.. an ordeal

[cold-neon-ocean]

Okay so I'm in a real right spot at the moment so I'm gonna open up for a few regular commission slots! Anything is on the table just no full backgrounds! I don’t normally advertise commissions over here but I’ve been unable to properly work for a while due to looking after my family’s animals :’)

I truly don’t know how tumblr deals with posts with links but I’m shooting my shot where I can so here’s the form and my carrd that has all my prices and info if you’re interested! Reblogs are very much appreciated!

#Art Commissions #[ idk what to tag this sorry lol #my sisters' cats who moved in like a month ago brough ringworm with them #and that has just been.. an ordeal #i just life here yet I've been dealing with all these animals that arent mine since last year #and the cats just made things 10xs more difficult #so I've just slowly been bleeding money because I haven't been able to properly work for so long ahhh #figured I'd might as well give a try advertising over here as well :'D ] #Neon Ocean Art

[st-hedge]

It wasn’t on my 2024 bingo card that I’d draw V again. Anyway I’ll go ahead ramble in the tags

#devil may cry 5 #dmc5 #dmc v #so I’ve replayed dmc5 a stupid amount of times since March #but to be fair it’s a very short game #but I’ve developed a hobby of trying to connect dots between v and Vergil #cuz the detail is actually so good #for instance even how he holds the cane is similar to how he handles Yamato #his expressions are so alike but it’s not obvious #but then I thought #why is vergil’s humanity some dweeb who is like 20 something #he is like closest age wise to his dmc3 version #(this has probably been answered but I wanted to figure it out myself) #then I remembered the line from v about how his humanity has finally returned #so has it been subdued and dormant ever since he got imprisoned by mundus #and is that why his humanity resembles his younger self #cuz the human vulnerable side of him has been dead #this is the only edition of Vergil I won’t drop kick on sight #human v is a dork ass goth who has a soft squishy heart #and he can’t even kill his brother who he hates so much when given the chance #UUUGGHHHHHHHHHH #don’t even get me started about the ordeal with Nero #v tried so hard to just see him as a tool but he knows that wasn’t the case

[thefirstknife]

The thing about the final lore tab is that, besides the fact that I'm devastated in ways I can't put into words, the way Saint was affected by this whole thing is unique.

This is obviously primarily Osiris' trauma that we can't really properly comprehend, but Osiris wasn't fully conscious for most of it. It fell to Saint to wait, and hope, that Osiris would be brought back and that he would wake up. There was no certainty for him there. And even before that, he watched "Osiris" being strange and distant and acting weird but obviously nobody could even begin to speculate that the person he interacted with wasn't Osiris at all, so the trauma went from there, from learning that he lost Sagira, then to the shock of Osiris being kidnapped and then the quest to bring him back and then him being brought back in a coma and then the 9 long months of waiting until he woke up.

The state of constant anxiety he experienced for almost 2 years total is nervewracking and gutwrenching. I don't think we can fully understand the impact of that on someone. And the best, or worst, thing is that Saint is infinitely patient. He is infinitely emotional and merciful and opts to be the better person and to wait and wait and wait. And hope that it can be fixed.

Except it can't. It can't be fixed. And not only can it not be fixed, but there will never be justice for it. It's impossible. There isn't a way to truly punish Savathun for what she's done. There is no relief or catharsis for Saint. While Osiris can mostly move on, Osiris did not really have to go through what Saint had to go through. Their traumas are different and Saint's is the type that no one can really understand and there is nothing he can do about it.

A younger Saint would've killed Immaru and then Savathun, 100%. But now he can't, because he isn't that person anymore. And yet, the grief and trauma remain and he has no outlet for them and nothing that can be done to enact any sort of justice. So he settles for pure rage, letting himself essentially vent that anger out, but still leave everyone alive. And there's really no true release here. He got a brief satisfaction of killing Savathun over and over, but at the end of the day, she will walk away and nothing will change and there will be no fix.

Which is why he comes back and just cries. As he said, this wasn't for Osiris, it was for him. It was his outlet for anger and nothing else. After that, there's nothing else left to do but cry. No one can really help him carry the burden of what he's gone through and besides: he's a Titan. He's the one carrying other people's burdens. Which just added to the trauma because for so long he's only cared for others, mostly for Osiris, and never really let himself fully grieve or talk about it. Saint never really processed the horrifying ordeal of constant concern for his loved one, then the realisation that his loved one isn't even with him, then the desperate search and then waiting for months and months for the hope that his loved one might wake up. Then Osiris is awake and we're forced to play allies with the person who traumatised both of them in an incomprehensibly terrifying way. Saint had no other way of attempting to make his peace with the situation.

Year of processing grief. I'm in shambles.

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #season of the witch #season of the witch spoilers #saint-14 #osiris #o14 #i haven't stopped thinking about this and i never will #i genuinely cried like a little baby reading this #the whole time of this ordeal it's been told through saint's patience and devastation about the situation #so we know just how much he stretched his limits here #again. a younger saint would've gone apeshit months ago #but now he has a limit and he's more patient than ever and literally no one can help him #i'm in tears over this man he doesn't deserve any of this bullshit #i could go on for approximately 17 more hours about this #if i see savathun again she will die by my hand

[skitskatdacat63]

His bullfighting days aren't over quite yet.

+

#GET IT??? HIS *BULL*FIGHTING DAYS....hahah yeahhhh im so clever..... #suddenly had the urge to draw old man version matador nando bcs DC randomly called him a matador during quali #and im like oh my god....dc....youre so right.... #hoping this piece works as some kind of blood sacrifice for his performance in about 7 hrs :) #get it blood sacrifice??? and hes cutting his hand in this piece??? #thats supposed to represent two things. #1. hes doing a blood pact/sacrifice so his performance goes well #2. hes testing the sharpness so he can slay the bull!(and the...horse? 🤭🤭) #had a very interesting convo w Suzuki abt the implications of matador nando #based on a meme i made 😭 abt how our fantasy is that hes gonna be the bullfighter. hes gonna slay the bull #but the reality will be that he looks upon the bull from a distance #hes meant to kill the bull to overcome it. but he just ends up longing to be the bull. he fails.. hahaha get it.... #lmao angst aside i think its kinda funny how i can have this reasoning for the matador au in two eras #thats long the old man has been here. has had two distinct periods of challenging the (red) bull #ANYWAYS!!!! hope ya like!!!!!! i think this is pretty relevant hopefully 🤭🤭 #quite happy w this one even if it was less of an ordeal than most of my drawings #waaaahahhh hes so handsome!!!!! handsomest guy!!!!!!! #lol scheduling this like an hr before the race cause as i said. its an offering. its a sacrifice. i pray to the racing gods #tw blood #<- just a bit 🥰 he was originally just gonna be holding the sword but i realized ouch! sharp!!! #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #catie.art. #fa14 #f1 art #f1 fanart #matador au

[nobodymitskigabriel]

I love the idea that Gabriel is one of the few beings in existence capable of understanding the scale of Sam's torture in the Cage. Sam's trauma might make him "out of reach" to ordinary people in some respects, but it also gives him an otherworldliness that puts him on more even footing with supernatural beings like Gabriel.

#but i also dont think gabriel could understand sam very well and wouldnt even want to if he hadnt suffered himself #not that u need to suffer to be empathetic just that gabriel is naturally scornful and self absorbed #he doesnt care about sam until he has a reason to #yes gabriel is one of the few angels to value humans but he doesnt see them as perfect equals #but the fact that sam 1. took a nosedive into LUCIFER'S CAGE for all of humanity's sins #and 2. somehow SURVIVED the ordeal and came out the other end walking and talking #dramatically alters the way gabriel sees him specifically and wouldve to some extent even if the asmodeus arc hadnt happened #by the end of s13 after everything both of them have been through he's unable to see sam as anything other than his equal #and i think having someone capable of understanding the cage and lucifer the way gabriel does would end up making all the difference #supernatural #gabriel spn #sam winchester #sabriel

[sumbacky]

life has been a lot so much lately so i drew Them to cheer myself up :^)

#sambucky #buckysam #winterfalcon #bucky barnes #sam wilson #captain america and the winter soldier #caatws #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #marvel #my art #my first art post surgery how did i do #these past few weeks were the most traumatic ordeal of my life but i am back in business babyyyy #first non-convention related art* i mean lol #i am tired 24/7 but work has been kind n generous enuf to give me more time off so i have all the time to art and just be...... #(sammy tired = me tired)

[fivewholeminutes]

thanks to that one masked collective i have finally ventured into the digital art territory and i'm making this everyone else's problem now

#there's no hidden meaning or anything i just saw a cool pic of someone holding a dove like that and bam #terrible anatomy vessel got added #(i wanted to fix him but i've made the first grave mistake of digital art: drawing different things on the same layer 💀) #still. not that bad for the first piece ever i thought it's gonna be worse #sleep token #sleep token fanart #alex vs the mortifying ordeal of having her art perceived #STALLING MY WEMBLEY THOUGHTS POST BY DISTRACTING YOU WITH THIS INSTEAD #BECAUSE I STILL HAVEN'T PROCESSES WHAT HAPPENED THERE MY BRAIN STILL NEEDS TO CATCH UP THAT YES #WE'VE BEEN THERE #AND YES #WE'RE A DIFFERENT FUCKING PERSON NOW #this little dove has been rotting in my drafts for too long anyway

[viiinz]

everyday I think about him (Ippolit Terentyev)

#idk why of all characters he's the one that has left such an impression on me but oh boy #it's been over a year since I've read his 'explanation' and everything that followed and it hasn't left my mind since #ippolit terentyev #the idiot #god all he wanted was some sympathy and recognition #and they just make fun of him #literally all this boy wants is to be taken seriously and no one does #they either laugh at him or beg him to shut up #because his vulnerability and the fact that he's dying makes them so uncomfortable #and he's so ashamed as well over his own vulnerbility #that even when people aren't laughing at him he'll imagine they are #and people blame him for being self absorbed?? like of course he is!! #he's EIGHTEEN and DYING #this is a teenager who's just come to the realisation that he has no agency over his life whatsoever #and that all that awaits him are the cruel laws of nature #he has a right to be upset about that #he's literally the man condemned to death that myshkin talked about #and yes he's ridiculous and awkward and not always right and incoherent and all that #and he can really be insufferable and contemptuous and unfeeling towards others #and even the state he's in doesn't really serve as an excuse for that #yet i feel bad for him #and he's such a teenager too he's so insecure and just wants to impress the people around him #and yes he's doing it for attention #of course he wants attention #can you blame him?? #all he wants is to be heard #to feel like his life mattered #but instead everyone's just begging him to shut up #like they're just waiting for him to kick the bucket so the uncomfortable ordeal can be over with #sorry i just have a lot of thoughts about Ippolit and I'm being very incoherent because i didn't plan on typing all this lol

[mechieonu]

haven't seen HH yet & my only real hope is that charlastor keeps whatever dynamic they had goin on

#their biggest allure for me—other than the song and dance—is the inevitable betrayal arc #charlie's genuinely a sweetheart and her believing in him comes from that AND her naivety #and combining that w their weird power imbalance (i like to think that she's stronger by default as princess but he's got the street smarts #they've got the recipe for something brokenhearted #ESPECIALLY when alastor inevitably submits himself to the mortifying ordeal of love and friendship #girl help! the woman i'm working with is a lovely contradiction to everything i've ever known abt hell and redemption! #essentially: nothing is sexier than ignoring all the warning signs & letting yourself be goaded hook line and sinker #into a terrible decision by the villain/your own hubris #charlastor #hazbin hotel #i hope she makes a deal w him & that its her bestworst decision ever. i hope that al realizes how much he‚ too‚ has been irrevocably changed #why are all my favorite ship dynamics just billford #remember to sail the seven seas; amzn is on the boycott list

[arty-cakes]

He is King Now.

#'its not like hallownest could get any worse' do not test me. i will sink this forsaken kingdom faster than the radiance ever could #randomizer #i've discovered a few things today that finally stopped me from wandering around aimlessly for another 20hrs but apparently in randomizers: #jiji will sell things for rancid eggs (including rancid eggs?) and using the first simple key you find on her is probably best #seer will sell things for essence (the grubfather sells things for grubs collected) iselda will occasionally sell more things than just map #FOR SOME REASON SLY'S GOT NOTHING. just a bunch of journals and idols and occasionally a stag station or two. ��️ #navigating without a lantern has been an ordeal. i can barely get to hornet's room in deepnest #maybe i will go hunt for that next. and desolate dive and shade cloak i can barely progress without those #shamans dont give u spells like usual. srsly this wouldn't normally be a problem i love wandering arnd listening to shitty playlists #but i am also simultaneously getting eviscerated by the princess of deepnest girl she wants me destroyed she HATES ME but shes real lovely. #my back hurtstssfadstrrsrft

[misteria247]

Y'all know how like you'll read fanfic and you stumble over a fic that's got this pairing that you had no idea even existed till literally just now because you were searching for another tag in the same fic? So you read it and you see the pairing interact and stuff and you're like "Huh they actually work really well with one another personality wise and I can honestly see how they'd work as a couple." So you search for this pairing and suddenly you're like up to your neck deep in this new pairing before you even realized what happened???

Yeah well basically now I hilariously enough have fascination with the Luigi and Bowser pairing and I blame the series Days on ao3-

#oli talks #ooc #muns ramblings #mindless ramblings of a madman #super mario bros #smb #mario bros #the mario bros #mario brothers #Luigi #Bowser #luigi x bowser #BEFORE Y'ALL UNFOLLOW ME HEAR ME OUT I SWEAR I HAVE AN EXPLANATION- #okay so originally I was searching Mario and Luigi fanfic due to fanart I'd reblogged last night and I was like #Hmm I could go for some brotherly affection between these two idiots and it's something new so let's go #and I'm searching and I just come across this fic called Day Twenty by Useless19 #and I didn't realize it was a Luigi x Bowser fic and I'm reading it and holy shit it's like really good???? the pairing works so well??? #and it's like a magical marriage type of ordeal with my favorite troupe enemies to friends to lovers #and now I'm in hell send help #I'll always love Luigi x Daisy but like god damn bro my viewpoint has been extended

[blazeturbo102]

911 let Buck and Eddie talk about the fucking shooting (+ the will) 2k23 challenge🙃🙃

#buddie #911 fox #please I need them to talk about the shooting and what the whole will ordeal means #I'm having very strong buddie feelings I NEED them to have a deep serious talk #also buck was there for Eddie's breakdown so I need Eddie to be there for Buck's upcoming breakdown #like; i wouldn't mind if it was Bobby or Hen who saw the breakdown; but Eddie needs to be involved in some way too #you know how Eddie had Buck and Bobby for his recovery!? Maybe Buck has Hen and Eddie!?🤔 #since Buck and Hen have been very close this season #for real; I'm not even saying get them together; I just want them to talk; as best friends at least #911 buddie #911 tv show #911 show #evan buck buckley #evan buckley #eddie diaz #edmundo eddie diaz #911 eddie #911 buck

[princesssarcastia]

i am...going to get a tattoo. or try, anyway.

#found a local artist i like and reached out #this idea has been 'on the fridge' as my mom would say #for like. seven years. in my head #i've sat with it and liked it this long #so im hopeful ill enjoy it #now i just have to get through the mortifying ordeal #of talking to a stranger about something i want #lol. lmao. agh #fingers crossed this works out

[nabaath-areng]

First my mom is stuck for a week in hospital recovering from a rough surgery, and today bonus dad goes to the ER for appendicit and will undergo surgery within a few hours. I will therefore stay the night at the farm and babysit the cat until my mom returns back home tomorrow 👍

#the moment mom is about to leave bonus dad ends up in the same hospital #all after he was worrying about her for a week SJDKDKLSLS #Fräsen has been very confused by the entire ordeal but he wont be alone now #ive packed laptop and tablet and switch and gonna bring ingredients so i can bake when there #i havent slept in that particular house since i was very little #so this is exciting #gonna check the hives while im at it #not inspection just peek into the bee garden #gonna check if i can see where theyre flying as well if im able #good thing all of us live so near each other #village perks #silvi talks

[bilbao-song]

in the last three months i’ve lost my dad, my cat, and my closest family friend. idk what else to do but cry 24/7 tbh

#all of these people might as well have been angels for the record. including the cat #but the family friend has been the most shocking tbh. the other two were devastating but sadly expected #i cannot stop sobbing over this whole ordeal bc it was so so sudden and i just feel like something is wrong. #but idk what to do if anything #nonsense rambling #negative *

[ac-liveblogs]

I don't think anyone's said it yet, but actually, when everyone crucified Galahad for saying that Goetia's plan was better than whatever was going to happen in the Lostbelt arc because they read it as him saying Goetia was right...

You know, Daybit thought obliterating the planet by awakening ORT was "better than was going to happen next" (i.e Marisbury's plan for humanity) too. Maybe it's not that Galahad thought Goetia Did Nothing Wrong Humanity Deserved It, but rather that what Marisbury has planned is so horrific that bonkers Bad End alternatives like those start seeming reasonable in comparison.

#ac plays fgo #judging by nasu's last interview i think pray hope galahad will be addressed in/just after ordeal call #even though he said shielder wouldn't get a dedicated chapter but he was going to do something anyway.... #moonlight/lostroom has been recontextualised quite a lot after lb7 tbh. i should go back for the olga parts sometime