#and then we had 16 kids bc my cousins had come up so we had more than usual (even on a busy day) and there was one girl

[shimmer-wolf-arts]

I can blame/thank Pansy for why I'm gonna ramble a bit, LOL 🤣 /pos

like, we don't see Varian making a ton of friends his age. Like, all the people he hangs out with are either older or younger than him, and it's mostly adults. Poor kid is only 14-16 and he's friends with ppl who are mostly over 18. The only ones who aren't are Keira and Catalina, and they're, what, like 12 at the oldest, in season 3? Maybe?

I mean, don't get me started on Varian's neurodivergence/obvious ADHD. But that's probably one major reason why his friends are mostly older than him. I know my AuDHD is why I connect more with people older or younger than me.

And yeah. Varian literally befriended the raccoon that was intruding on his lab. And crushed on Cass like, 2 seconds after she saved him and 100% failed at flirting with her.

But you see how socially awkward this kid is when he's talking to other people, especially in season 3. Talking to Feldspar? Awkward as hell. He's stuttering, not making eye contact, and let's not forget the nervous laughs he makes. And if he's trying to argue a point, and someone very much calls him out on it (coughLANCEcough), he gets stuttery and trips over his words then too.

This poor kid just does not know how to socialize. And when he gets overwhelmed, he starts shutting down. "Be Very Afraid" was a perfect example of that, outside of the fact that his shutdown was also trauma induced.

So yeah, sending him out on the 7k journey, I can imagine he's in way over his head. And I imagine Hugo takes full advantage of that, a lot of the time.

But in my story, Grace is also very much isolated when it comes to kids her age. It's kind of why she and Varian bond is because they 1. Both have trauma, and 2. Both struggle to make friends their age. The only other person Grace knows that's her age is the person she considers her cousin bc their dads grew up together and consider each other brothers. So she's kinda lucky that she at least had one person her age to hang around. Varian didn't. So he meets Grace when they're both 17, and he's just thinking "Oh shit this is a pretty girl who is actually my age wtf do i do?!"

Poor kid does stumble over his words (and just in general) with her a lot until he becomes more comfortable around her. And especially after they start dating, he gets a bit more confident since they both help each other out with trauma and whatnot. He's still socially awkward with ppl his age, and just in general, but it's not nearly as bad as it was when he was 14-16.

And Hugo, being street smart, as well as putting on the facade that he knows everything (and that making him look like an asshole lol), it very much throws Varian for a loop, lol. He doesn't know what to do with it at first, and he's very thrown off and unsure of how to handle it.

#shimmer rants about vat7k #just ignore me it's almost midnight and pansy inspired me to ramble #i probably should rant more about stuff though tbh bc it gets my thoughts out and a bit less tangled #yes i used tangled on purpose lmao #now i go to sleep bc i do have a clinic shift tomorrow lmao #tangled the series #varian and the 7 kingdoms #vat7k #tangled varian #varian #varian the alchemist #varian tts

[deankirk]

KinnPorsche is ending this saturday and we don't know when/if we are getting a season 2. That means I'll survive of rewatches and fics.

So here's my fic wishlist:

1. More bottom Kinn fics, all praise to the switch agenda.

2. More dark KinnPorsche, with more blood and violence and actually mafia plots.

3. More domestic kinn x porsche, i also wanna see their happy married life.

4. I once had a thought, and It was hot, of a Tay/Kinn/Time fic, where they were so worried about the Kinn/Tawan break up that they decided to fuck him, yk just to cheer him up.

5. Kinn/Big. I just need to read it. Big deserves it. Big earned it. I just need to read my babe Big being railed by Kinn.

6. I need at least one (1) Kinn/Pete fic. Don't ask me why.

7. Kinn/Porsche/Vegas, and i want it to be fucked up and toxic, thank you.

8. Kinn was the real villain all the time fic.

9. Kinn/Vegas fics. You can judge me, my first bf was actually my cousin.

10. Thankhun, haven't forget him. I don't actually ship him with anyone, but who knows.

11. The Theerapanyakul brothers. I wanna see their interactions, wanna see them love or hate each others, care about or betray each others, but give me their stories.

12. Kinn and Chay interactions. Kinn being the one giving Chay a sex talk or relationship advice.

13. Porsche and Pete friendship. Chaotic bros.

14. As for VegasPete: i would love to read a fic where Vegas tries to gain Petes forgiveness by making amends with Kinn, bc this is the biggest proof he can give of his love for Pete.

15. Kid fics. Good kid fics. Make the Theerapanyakul family a big kindergarten.

16. Arm and Pol. ArmPol. I want to read their love storie but I also would love to read about their pov of the main stories.

17. Killing Lady who almost killed Kinn in EP 2. Anything with her.

18. Porsche hiring a team of female bodyguards to protect Kinn.

19. Kinn and Vegas working together because of their husbands.

20. The whole Tay/Time/Tem drama.

21. Tay my beloved. I want to read more of him. What about that Tay/Vegas thing?

22. I honestly don't know how to feel about KimChay, maybe a older Chay coming back into Kim life and they figuring out how they feel about each other.

23. Kinn coming out stories. His first kiss, his first time. He's my fave character, i would read almost anything about him.

24. The moms, I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THEM. Fics where they're alive, just give me the moms.

25. Thankhun and Yok friendship. They running the bar together maybe.

26. Gun Theerapanyakul A+ parenting. Give me all the Vegas angst.

27. Vegas and Macau relationship. Vegas being a good big bro to him.

28. A fic where Macau is just a sweet guy who wants nothing with the mafia and all the Theerapanyakuls make it their mission to give him a normal life, even Thankhun.

29. PWPs. I love them. Kinn and Porsche being horny, passionate, jealous, codependent, manipulating, and all of this leading to sex.

30. Morally dubious Porsche and/or Pete. Give me Hannigram vibes with KinnPorsche and/or VegasPete.

#wishlist #KinnPorsche #kinnporsche the series #vegaspete #kinn theerapanyakul #porsche pachara #pete phongsakorn #vegas theerapanyakul #kinn is my fave and it shows #kinda long list but we will be deprived of them

[izzy-b-hands]

I survived

It took half the last edible caramel I have

There was... so much more but to sum up in a few key moments:

-my uncle ditching for an hour before we were going to open gifts to go DUI test ppl his co-workers arrested tonight. He talked abt it gleefully, saying it didn't matter what they blew on the machine, no one was going home. I resisted the urge to ask him how he'd feel if he was in that situation, bc he thinks he's gods gift and presumes he'll never do anything he personally would dislike others doing. sure. whatever asshole

-My 16 yr old cousin watching my grandma open up one of those massage gun things (like the one they made a spectacle of at Thanksgiving) and shouting that she doesn't have to come moan in their living room anymore (she has chronic pain in multiple spots, so she was making noises but like. it's ur grandma bro can u pls not)

-the 18 and 21 year going off on each other during present opening over just. nothing. the way one opened a gift, the way she laughed, anything. Then cut to two seconds later and them gossiping abt their fellow CNAs like they love each other. Wouldn't mind the sisterly whatever the fuck that all is, but god they can scream so loud.

-my uncle finding out the 21 year old had a sip of margarita my grandma made for her and my aunt to share earlier in the day, and immediately losing his shit telling her as his daughter she will not fucking drink, ever. I personally find she's a 21 year old adult who can make that choice herself, but ya know. He likes parenting now that she's an adult and doesn't need as much, my aunt took care of a lot of the hard shit for him years earlier.

-my mum getting mad that only I tried the appetizer she made and brought, and when my grandparents said hey there's just a lot of food leave us a tray to try for leftovers, she instead gave most of them to me and begrudgingly left a tray for them. I wanted to cry, my grandma looked so hurt. Not that I'm not very grateful for the extras for myself but like. It didn't have to go down like that either.

-mum's bf had us leave as soon as presents were done bc he (understandably lmaooo) can't stand being around our family for long for a good few reasons (kids swear, are too loud, act entitled, fight most of the night, complain abt & critique their gifts tho that actually only happened once or twice tonight.) I both wanted to leave and didn't. Wanted to stay and have another small plate and talk to Grandma and Grandpa while the kids checked out their new stuff. But also, still not feeling amazing and definitely v overwhelmed like. I have maybe two spoons left to get myself showered and some more food in me, then im mucking around on here and just. yeah. idk. lots of weird conflicting family feelings.

However all that said, i am grateful I had family to visit, that the food I managed to eat was delicious, and that they were very kind in the presents they got me. I just wish it could be a little less of the above and my earlier posts sometimes.

Im gonna go slump on the bathroom tile for a bit and cry i think. then back to reblogging pirates and stuff

#text post #actually already crying but eh

[lolimsofuckedup-nm]

Abuse / Persecution / politic shit / Vent / cry-for-help kinda trigger alert (?

•

Idk where to start, but here we go...

I joined in a volunteer program in the uk that helped me get out my country (Venezuela, a small Latin American one that's fucking going down, you'll know if you're into politics or anything probably) two months ago, with the hope to apply for an asylum just like a friend of mine did three years ago or so

But the thing is, even tho i complain every day of how life was back there, I've feared death too many times, I've lived in the must insecure ways possible, I've give up bc of how imposible it is to live there even tho i was breaking my ass in more than three different jobs at the time while still trying to study something even tho i had no money or support from my family to get into a university, and my high school fucked up my documents to apply for a public one, and the sistem of the country doesn't gives a fuck to fix things when it comes to documentation if you're not a government active supporter, the house i lived in with my aunties is literally sinking down on a whole in the ground because of a Natural Disaster that nobody seemed to care about taking in control (Wich means is going to get worst this month with the rain season starting again for 6 months)... And well, a very very long etcetera of things

Even tho i consciously know all of this, when i just read in the uk government page the requirements for applying for the asylum “To stay in the UK as a refugee you must be unable to live safely in any part of your own country because you fear persecution there.” all of the misery in life I've been put through bc I don't support a political party (mustly bc its nonsense but also bc I've been underage for must part of my life, cmon I'm on my very early 20's), seems suddenly so invalid and small to me.

And then memories keep popping up on my mind, like when for weeks this motorcycle guys with guns and bombs tryed to get into my house when I was like 16 and all my mom and i could do was turn off all the lights and block the front doors with all the furniture we had at home, just because there was people protesting against the dictator president, so he just sent bunches of those dudes to make chaos and kill and steal on the suburbs to get protestings out the streets.

Or the time when we got caught in the car on the way back home from secondary school, because the police was persecuting the students that were protesting to ""arrest them"", but then the next day mothers all over the neighborhood were crying over their murdered young sons or tortured and raped young daughters. My mom didn't even let me go to school again for a month, get out to the garden; literally not even be on the room of the house with big windows, and she was not the only mother worried about their kids in the country, all of us as a big community were scared.

Or all the many, many calls I've got since I was 12 or so about kidnapping threats or trys, just bc I have a cousin and aunt that actively works on the political party against the government. When I was 18 I got persecuted on a van after some calls faking my mom's identity, and even tho luckily for me there were some men walking down the street that figured out what was happening and approached and helped me get home (wich was scary too, because I didn't know them and the whole situation was making me feel small and insecure already), i got panic attacks for two months every time I even thought of going out of my house to the bakery one block away.

And those only had to be with the hard way of living for any other venezuelan in the country, but then I have this fucked up clown of a parent that acts so cool in front of everyone, but it's been persecuting me or any of my siblings in the must creepy kind of ways every time we decide for our own sake to get away from him . And I'm not talking just about an over-strict parent. I'm not talking about a jerk kind of a parent. It's a motherfucker abuser that did nothing through all the years of suffering my older mid-brother (fuck it, I'm calling him my brother anyways) had to go through bc his mother is a crazy bitch that tied him up to beat him in ways in cannot even describe without losing my shit. Or all the beat ups i had as a child, some of them till I bleeded, because of stupid little things like spilling my juice on the table, or not knowing how to properly write the letter "R" in fucking first year of primary school, and so on. Or humiliating and degrading my sister for being homo. Or manipulating me to talk to him through not giving us food for weeks, but giving my sister the best giant pizzas and banana's splits so I could "learn my lesson" and stop being a brat like my older brothers, one of them running away from home twice to avoid killing himself bc of not being able to handle our fucked up family anymore. And all just bc I was to scared to fucking talk to a person that's a sexual abuser, even tho nobody else in the family (as long as I know) knows this for a fact, even tho everybody just look somewhere else when he does the fucking inappropriate sexual jokes about my little 11 y/o cousin's body, or tries to have girlfriends as close as his fucking daughter's ager, or goes out of boundaries with my brother's partner. And I'm the one that's wrong for facing him and only talking to him on those moments to tell him to stop doing those fucked up things.

And being happy and sad at the same time when he left the country to persecute my brother to fucking Peru, the country he had to go to on bus from out city we lived at to be away from all this trouble, just to discover that, unlike my brother, his useless ass is not going to make it through in a country where there's no mommy to relay on when you don't want to work anymore even tho you are past the 50 years old. So he came back again to my country, and putted me to cry for days when I got the news, bc I won't be able to visit my grandma anymore without seeing my abuser's face. I won't be able to walk around the city in peace without the fear of him just showing up suddenly at any time, because he stalks me on all my social medias and activities, putted a shit to access my computer when i was a teenager and got into my accounts on fucking everything, follows and stalks every person that I'm related to, learns my routines, just so he can feel he's on control of my life, and even worst, so he can make me (and my sister, and my mom, and so goes on...) Feel like he's on control of our lives. He just suddenly takes any other member of the family phone just to pretend he's them, so he can get to talk to me and know about me. Or worst, sends ultimatums to me, or threats, or insults when he's mad at the fucked up life he created for himself.

And you know what's the worst part about the fear? The need to make it seem unreal. Like when i found fucking porn searchs in his phone about pederast incest, i fucking couldn't believe it (somehow) and just, pup! Erased it all. Or the calls and messages? Got furious, so I cleared the chats and blocked his number, and new number, and grandmother's number, and so on and on (just so he could say how bad and bratty i was for just getting away from all the family without any reason but just me throwing a tantrum). And well, whatever, for years I've felt guilty for erasing the only prove that i had, so I didn't speak up about it, bc how can people believe that such a cool guy could do those things anyways? So I just kept on a cicle for years of erasing and then feeling guilty and regretful, but then feeling alone so doing it again, because I never thought that i could do something about it. And now I'm here and i need proves of everything, and I've been stupid enough to left me with nothing but bad memories and traumas, that has no fucking use in a legal process to try and get my life together somewhere else away from the pain.

And at the end, does all of this count for other countries governments? Because I lost track of the difference between a normal hard life, and miserable life in some point of my growing up in Venezuela experience. But i don't want to go back anyways. I don't want to live life being scared, not knowing if tomorrow will be a normal hard day, or if my life is just going to suddenly go crazy and I'm going to lose someone else on the streets, or their house, or just because they left for a better opportunity in another country and I'll probably never see them again, or the crazy bitch of my father is going to start a new drama. Who can support a person that's been trying their hardest in life, who doesn't wants to give up? (even when there doesn't seems to be other options, because that's what they want you to feel, to control you through fear, through making you wake up and go to sleep every day on survival mode). I don't want to live that way.

And i don't want a life full of luxury either. All i want is a small house or apartment to live in, where i know I'm safe in, and a stable job with a boss that doesn't try to find every possible way to get you to work out of your job and personal boundaries, (both legally and illegally, bc in a country without law and lots of corruption that doesn't matter), with a small salary, enough to get me to buy a treat once in a week if I want to without having to give up on a basic need product like soap or shampoo for once. All i want is a normal life. Nothing more, with normal problems, normal solutions, a normal family, and normal experiences.

[yuzukult]

drive safe (m) || bbh x reader

title: drive safe pairing: baekhyun x reader genre: brothersbestfriend!au, chanyeol!olderbrother, romance warnings: slight rated 18+ scene, but it’s short and poorly written  words: 12.4k prompt: simply put, you’ve been crushing on your brother’s best friend for the longest time but he hasn’t seen you in a while... and you’ve grown.  notes: needed something different to write :) please enjoy... i did another brother’s best friend au bc i just love baekhyun in that kind of au lmao... I FINALLY UPLOADED!!!

He was heavily intoxicating. From the whiff of the cologne he wears to the way his lips look, so tempting and plump, all the way to the sweet melodic laugh that escapes from his throat, hand on his toned chest to contain himself.

This man was beautiful—correction— is beautiful, and has always been since you’ve laid your eyes on him.

You recall those days staying in the living room until the late hours of the night; coffee table filled with loose papers and opened textbooks to cram in for your exams, room lacking a desk for you to work on. Your brother would trail into your home once the street lights turn on, friends joining him occasionally, none capturing your attention until you met him one night.

Mocha eyes that sparkled under the dim lights at the front steps, caramel hair that looked so unbelievably soft, that you had to restrain yourself down from asking him to just let you run your fingers through those locks. Jawline chiseled, cheekbones high, and ears flushing coral when he gets embarrassed—he was just breathtakingly beautiful. And when he leans over to see what you’re currently engrossed in, supple cheeks raising as high as the sky from his smile, teeth pearly white and exposed, his gentle voice hypnotizes you to the point that you almost miss when he says his name.

“I’m Byun Baekhyun.” How the hell is he so pretty? “You must be Chanyeol’s little sister.”

Your Cloud 9 experience disappears at the sound of your brother’s name. It’s like he loves to burst the bubble of any type of happiness your way. He never fails to ruin things for you.

Then again, that was back when you were 16 and he was 22. He was in college, finishing up the remaining time he had left while you were just a mere high school student—not to mention that you were also his best friend’s little sister. This time, you’re 22 and he’s the 28 year old, finished college with a career outlined for him and you’re the one trying to finish up the last year.

So when Baekhyun stands at the threshold of your parent’s house behind Chanyeol, mouth agape at the mere sight of you, he’s in complete shock at how much you’ve grown and changed in the past years. To say the least, he hasn’t seen much of you around since you turned 18... and well, he was regretting missing the glow up.

“Why are you looking at my sister like that?” Chanyeol hisses, pushing his friend’s chest back with a finger. “You act like you’ve never seen her before.” Baekhyun can only shake his head from his thoughts, clearing his throat. “I haven’t seen her since she left for college.”

A hum from you fills the air, grasping the attention of the two males. “I’ve been back every holiday, not my fault you haven’t been around.”

Turning on your heel, you make your way past them, slipping into a pair of random sandals at the front door before greeting the rest of your family members that begin to trickle in for the annual family dinner. Every year is dreadful, but this year got interesting just from Baekhyun’s attendance.

He was every high school girl’s wet dream.

And at the same time, dream boyfriend.

He’s cute yet he’s got this aura around him that just makes him so... sexy. You recall having high school friends over during those younger years and when Baekhyun and Chanyeol would walk through the front doors, your friends would drool at the sight of the boys. You couldn’t really agree on the Chanyeol portion of that (obviously), but your saliva would run rivers length long at the appearance of Baekhyun.

What was even worse was that both your brother and dad were horrible at teaching you how to drive. This was after you’ve concluded that you had a crush on Baekhyun, and Chanyeol suggests to your parents to hire Baekhyun to teach you how to drive a car.

“Dad, you and I both know that we’re way too short-tempered to teach her. Why not hire Baek?”

“I don’t see why not.” He nods in agreement, glancing over at your mom for approval, but she’s already so giddy over the moon from the sound of his name. “Of course! My second son teaching my daughter? Why would I have any issues with that? I’ll pay him, don’t worry.”

You want to die. “Why can’t you teach me, mom? We don’t really want to bother Baek and pressure him to teach me, right?”

“Actually,” Chanyeol grins; you swear every time he does it’s mischievous with a sinful plan hidden underneath. “Baekhyun is rather quite the angel and offered himself when I brought this situation to him. He doesn’t even want to get paid for it, I just offered.” Are you kidding me? Of course. Chanyeol wants you dead.

You think you actually die when you’re sitting in Baekhyun’s car in the middle of an abandoned supermarket’s parking lot. The two of you. No sign of Chanyeol anywhere, and it’s the first time you wished that your brother were there.

“Yeol isn’t coming?”

“No,” Baekhyun frowns, pulling the seatbelt over his body and locking it in; you mimic his actions to save yourself from getting lectured by the boy of your dreams. “He said he was either going to die from your driving or high blood pressure.” You exhale a heavy breath. “Why am I not surprised?”

“Afraid of being alone with me or something, little Park?”

“Uh, no.” You lie. “Can I start?”

“Sure, show me what you know.” Pressing a foot on the brakes, you push the key into the ignition and the car roars at the start. “Are you sure you trust me driving in your car? Isn’t this girl your baby?” There’s an afterthought of Baekhyun getting this car; almost begging Chanyeol everyday to go by the second-hand car dealership to admire this beauty—well that is if you consider a 2002 Lexus SC430 with the once jet black paint chipping off a beauty, then you’d be able to relate.

He nods, licking his chapped lips from the breeze that enters in before letting out a soft sigh. “She is, so... be careful, little Park, and drive safe. I trust you to drive her. I don’t even allow Yeol to let alone touch her, so consider yourself special.” Special. Can he not say such things while you’re already anxious about being in his presence, let alone his car!

Baekhyun teaches you to drive. Another great quality he has to add to the list from that occurrence: patience. He’s the one who opened the doors exiting out of your childhood in two ways: learning how to drive and learning what it feels like to like someone. It’s the first time you’re alone with him and you’ll never forget it. It only solidified your feelings for him.

And so when you’re ready to pick up your friends for the night that you first get your license, borrowing your brother’s car, your heart swells and bursts out of your chest when he approaches your window before you pull out of the driveway. Resting his arm on the door, joy tugs on the edges of his lips. “Drive safe, will you, little Park? I know I taught you well, but I still want you home safe and sound.”

Baekhyun might be the actual cause of your death.

“So, I heard you’re in for engineering? You’re finishing up your last year, aren’t you?” 

You hum against the glass that’s pressed onto your lips, drinking in the cold water to cool yourself from the sweltering heat. Summer was supposed to be over now, but since you’re in the off-season, the weather was currently in its moods, switching on and off like a middle aged woman dealing with menopause.

Popping your lips after releasing the cup, you nod. “Finally going to grab my degree and get to do what I actually want to be doing.” You want to be out of this conversation with this... woman; you’re not even sure who she was and what relation she had to your family. A cousin, maybe? An aunt? What do you even refer to her as?

“Wow, amazing!” She exclaims as she clasps her hands together abruptly that it startles you. “My son would be a perfect match for you, he’s handsome, young...” Her voice starts to drift off at the same time that your eyes do, skimming to find your brother’s right hand man, and with your luck, his gaze is locked on yours.

He’s been watching you the entire time. 

Baekhyun’s got a red solo cup in a hand, body leaning against the white plastic fence that perimeters your deck, hair pushed back to reveal his effortlessly beautiful forehead, and just the view of the first couple buttons of his shirt let loose, you felt your knees buckle. He bites his bottom lip in light of gaining your attention— one he’s been trying to snatch the entire afternoon. He’s standing besides Chanyeol, as expected since he is his guest, but they hang almost joined at the hip and just the thought of it makes you want to roll your eyes. But when his stare locks into yours and he mouths, “come over,” you’re immediately complying with his demands.

“I’m sorry,” You interrupt the strange woman, turning to face her. “Aren’t we related? Are you trying to set me up with your son... who potentially is my cousin?” 

“Oh no! I’m just a family friend; your aunt invited me over!” With that, it only results in you clicking your tongue in disappointment, bowing to the woman apologetically. This was a waste of time. “I’m sorry, I’m not interested in being set up. Now, if you would excuse me...”

She’s probably shocked, from what you can tell on the little smirk and chuckle coming from Baekhyun as you make your way toward him, arm reaching out for a side hug. “My little Park, all grown up, aren’t you?”

“Well, I’m not sixteen anymore, so possibly.” You joke.

Talking to Baekhyun felt effortless. Almost as though he wasn’t that same guy you knew when you were growing up. The crush that had looked so out of reach, too cool and attractive for you indeed seemed like he was on the same level. Bantering came easy and there were more things in common between the two of you than you previously assumed. As if this entire time… you were surrounding him with an image of what you thought he was but it wasn’t solely who he had been.

“Ah, so you agree. You think you’re handsome.”

“Are you trying to quote a ‘Mean Girls’ line on me?” He asks, eyes squinting in your direction coltishly. Raising both your hands up in feigned defeat, you tug your lips into a straight line. “Oh, you caught me, copyright police. But I believe I merely paraphrased the movie.” He lifts his brows at you skeptically, arms crossed against his chest. “Paraphrased?”

“I’m sure that the line goes like ‘so you agree, you think you’re really pretty.’“

“Maybe not me, but I think you’re pretty.” Baekhyun grins cheekily. It’s not exactly a smooth line, you admit, but anything coming from Baekhyun inflates your heart, reminiscing the old high school feelings that stirred. “Mm, cute. But not exactly slick, Baek. Slimy, possibly.”

He seethes in disagreement. “Oh, little Park, I’ll have you know that I am not slimy; I am very much a gentleman.”

“Some gentlemen have a slimy side of them.” You clarify with a tilt of your head.

“I can assure you that I am not slimy but rather smooth and creamy.”

You grimace. “I’m not sure this conversation is going into the right direction.” Pausing for a moment, you cluster the fortitude to belatedly ask: “So, why haven’t you been around for the holidays like you used to? My mom missed having you around during the holidays.”

Baekhyun purses his lips, taking in a deep breath before speaking up. “Honestly, I’ve always had a girlfriend during the holidays. Otherwise I would’ve been over. Unfortunately, those four years that I haven’t been at your house meant four different girlfriend’s family homes that I’ve been to instead of yours.” Of course, Baekhyun couldn’t be without a girl on his arm. Just look at him!

“Mmm,” You buzz in a judging tone that sharpens his focus on you. “Disappointing. Anyways,” Jumping on the tips of your toes, you lean over to peek into his cup. “Whatcha got in there, Baek?”

“Wanna smell?” He brings the cup closer to your face, underneath your nose as your face twists at the strong scent of alcohol. “What the hell is that?”

He lets out a laugh at your expression. “Its just beer—“

“—that is definitely not just beer. What did you put in that?” Baekhyun brings the drink neighboring your nostrils again. “It’s IPA, sometimes they have weird smells to it. Sometimes it even smells like weed.”

You take a second glance at him, hesitant about trying this peculiar drink. You’ve had beer before— hell, you’d had tons of types of alcohol before, but you can safely say that IPA beer isn’t one of them. The liquid hits your tongue, barely any if you’re being completely honest, and you pull away. “Eugh,”

“Eugh?” Baekhyun imitates your reaction. “You don’t like?”

“Not exactly.” You frown, stepping back from the drink in his hand. “How do you even drink that? It’s such an acquired taste to enjoy it.”

“I guess I had a lot of different kinds of alcohol while I was in University, but IPA wasn’t one of them so I gave it a shot. Kinda like them now, not what we’re usually used to.”

“You make yourself sound like you’re old.” And with that, he taps your nose with the tip of his index finger. “And I am old. In comparison to you, little Park.” 

That’s when it hits. Baekhyun can be sweet, kind, flirtatious, but one thing he can’t be is someone who could ever reciprocate feelings for you. Even if you’ve grown out of those braces, awkward puberty stages, and now an adult woman who is somewhat confident in your body— Byun Baekhyun will always see you as one thing only— Little Park, Park Chanyeol’s kid sister.

“Right,” You respond quickly, distancing yourself from him a bit and Baekhyun feels the atmosphere shift. “I think my dad needs me to help him handle the grill.”

“Chanyeol’s over there.” Baekhyun retorts back as abruptly. “Are you okay? Is it something I said?” 

“No.” You reply, prepared to turn away and say your goodbyes to the older male, but his hand grasps onto your wrist, causing you to wrinkle your brows in confusion. “Baek?”

“Talk to me. What did I say? I like talking to you and it’d be nice to keep this conversation going.” You tilt your head in perplexity. “Okay. That’s great and all but I’ve had a raging crush on you since I was like sixteen. I’m kind of over this whole thing and I’m ready to keep you as my brother’s best friend that I had a crush on when I was entering the early stages of puberty—”

“Wait, you liked me?”

A look of incredulity spreads on your face. “You didn’t know?” He shakes his head slowly, gaze trailing to the concrete ground as if he’s trying to replay the history of your relationship, attempting to find the hints smeared throughout the years. “Well, I did, and if I’m being honest, you’re great and everything, but I don’t think I can muster enough courage to build a friendship with you if I still have these somewhat lingering feelings.”

Seconds before you’re escaping his hold, his grip tightens. “I didn’t know.” He reiterates your words, eyes finally meeting yours. “Why didn’t you tell me? And why are you telling me this now? And at your family reunion at that?”

“I... don’t know.” You shrug, body language signaling that you’d stay and his hand on your loosens. “I guess I’m tired of being called little Park and seen as Yeol’s baby sister when I’ve been pining over this unrequited love.”

“You can’t even say that when I didn’t even know you liked me.”

“Oh, come on, Baek,” Groaning, your shoulders dropping in exhaustion from this entire conversation. “You’re the epitome of every girl’s first crush. Not to mention that you get along with my family. Pretty much the easiest formation of a perfect guy for a girl who was just finally realizing how cute guys were.”

Baekhyun scrunches up his nose, placing his drink down on the table beside him. “You never made it obvious.”

“Oh please, I was very obvious. Even Chanyeol probably knew about it.”

“Don’t say that, I really didn’t know! I’m sure your brother doesn’t either.” Eventually, you’re able to step far back enough that he can’t hold you back anymore. “It’s fine, Baek, I totally get it. Enjoy your night here? I’m going to socialize a bit more—I mean help my dad with the grill. Whichever one first, uh, you get the gist.”

“Oh, wow, your son is... actually pretty good looking.” You’re back in this discussion with the same strange woman before, but this time with your blood-related aunt who was the one to convince the lady to talk to you in the first place. She’s skimming through pictures she has saved of him, yet again trying to persuade into talking to her lovely son. He’s cute, you admit. He’s a year younger but that wasn’t going to turn you away. His mom, however, is coming off a bit too strong and your aunt was trying her best to pull her back.

“See? I told you! I invited him to come join us tonight, maybe you’d catch him here!” The woman claps her hands together excitedly, over the moon that you’d agreed to her perspective. “Speaking of my lovely boy, there he is!” 

And right when you face the direction she points, you see him—sun-kissed skin with his hair gelled back, tall as a skyscraper with the longest legs ever—this guy was built like a God. His eyes skim the room, but before they can meet with his mother’s, he spots someone approaching him and a smile tugs on the edges of his lips.

“Baekhyun, I didn’t know you knew this family?” 

Of course he knows Baek.

They’re exchanging a handshake, and you’re flaring your nostrils because how small is this world? Regardless, you’re not going to let Baekhyun ruin your day. No way.

“Park Chanyeol’s my friend,” He responds, placing a hand in his pocket. “And you’re here for?”

“My mom is here, she asked me to come. Son duties, you know the drill.” The younger male shakes at his own statement before giving Baekhyun a pat on the shoulder. “I’ll catch up with you later. She wants me to meet some girl she thought was cute, so we’ll see how that goes. See you in a bit?”

Baekhyun nods in confirmation, letting him go and as he watches his figure make his way through the crowd, that’s when he notices something. You’re standing next to a middle-aged woman—and is... is Lucas walking toward you?

“Hey mom,” The towering man smiles, giving his mom a hug. “I’m here as you asked. I’m assuming this lovely lady...” The lady introduces you to her son, and he extends his hand. “I’m Lucas.”

Baekhyun is pissed. If you saw his expression right now, the smoke coming out his ears would’ve been conspicuous.

Lucas isn’t... the smartest guy you’ve ever met but at least he’s sweet and kind?

Momma’s boy, a big one at that and you find it charming that he’s so loving and caring towards his mother. A great son... however, as a boyfriend, you can already guess what the bigger fights were going to be about.

“So my mom tells me that you’re almost done school, how’s that going for you?” The two of you have migrated over to one of the picnic tables in the backyard, old and wooden yet still surprisingly structurally strong enough to hold the weight of multiple people... and thankfully without his mom. Least she knows when to leave you alone.

“Going good, I can’t wait to get it over with and start working. School is dreadful.”

“Oh, yeah, I know that much. That’s why I didn’t go to college.” No college, not a bad thing, you think to yourself. After all, it’s what you make out of it, right? “Instead, I chose the modeling path.” What. Well, it made sense. Lucas is the equivalent to a God in looks, and you were starting to wish you were exaggerating. Probably another red flag if you guys started dating—he’s too pretty for his own good and girls would probably be crawling at his feet and your level of jealousy can’t handle that.

“Modeling? That’s impressive! How’s it going for you?”

“Slow this season. But it’ll pick up eventually. I’m only twenty-one anyways. College was never for me so I figured anything else would be better. My mom always told me that I was handsome, so why not put what I already have to use, you know?” Other than the fact you wanted to correct him and tell him that twenty-one is actually peak age for modeling, you wanted to laugh a bit because he was convinced to chase after this specific goal solely from the compliments of his mother, his biggest fan who happens to be blinded by love. Either way, Lucas was lucky he was cute enough to be a model or this conversation would’ve been embarrassing.

“If you like it, go for it. I don’t see a problem with it.” A gust of wind blows in your direction and it makes you shiver.

He smiles. “I like that. Not a lot of people agree with the whole modeling thing. Even my ‘mentor’ kind of blows off the idea and pressures me to go to college to find a ‘real’ career.”

“Mentor, huh? Has he considered giving you trade school as an option?”

“And get my hands dirty? No way. These hands were made for modeling, not being someone’s plumber and playing with pipes.” An image forms in your head— Lucas... as a plumber? Oh... that’s... kind of hot. His voice interrupts your thoughts in the end, and you want to frown until you see someone approaching. “Speaking of my mentor... have you met Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun is standing at the end of the table; although he seems nice toward Lucas, you can feel the cold air coming from him. “We’ve met.” He says, words short and sharp. “Known her since she was a high school student.”

“Oh, nice, were you also her mentor, hyung?”

“What?” Baekhyun responds, the space on his forehead crinkles. “No I wasn’t her mentor, I’m a friend of her brother’s,” slightly annoyed by Lucas’ question. You can’t seem to place a finger on why he would be so... discomposed. “Have you applied to those colleges I sent to you, by the way?”

“Hyung, I told you that college wasn’t for me. I don’t get why you’re pushing me so hard.”

“Lucas, you’re not going to be young forever. What are you going to do when you’re 40? Be in those Viagra commercials? Advertisements where the elderly have ‘fallen and can’t get up’? Be realistic here.”

It’s Lucas’ turn to be upset, and rightfully so. “Hyung, you’re embarrassing me in front of my new friend. Who— by the way, is very supportive of my endeavors.” Baekhyun scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief and disapproval. “Supportive? Actually, give us a moment, Luc, I have to speak with her privately.” Grabbing onto your wrist, he tugs you from your seat, and you whimper at the aggressiveness. 

“What the hell! Baek, let go, your grip is tight.” 

Taking you inside the house, he walks through the hallways while dragging you when he sees the familiar door that leads to your bedroom, shoving it open before shutting it after the two of you are inside. He lets go of his grip. “Explain.”

You sneer at his demand. “Explain what? I didn’t do anything. You should be explaining because you dragged me here.”

“Just thirty minutes before, you profess your feelings for me and then you’re talking to some guy? What the hell is that?” You jaw tightens but you want to retain your emotions since his were spilling. There was never a good outcome if two people that were butting heads are acting upon only feelings.

So you walk over to your closet, sliding the doors open in search of a sweater but this only makes him infuriated. “Answer me— why are you looking through your closet while we’re having a conversation?” Snatching a hoodie off the hanger, you pull it over your head. “I’m cold. And you’re the one who is having a conversation. Well, not really a conversation, more like you’re lecturing me.”

“I am not lecturing you. I’m trying to read you and you’re not making it any easier for me.”

“What are you reading me for?” With the hood over your head with the end of your dress peeking out of the oversized fabric, he thinks you’re cute like this and he can’t help himself. Lunging toward you, his hands cup your cheeks and before you know it, his lips are pressed yours.

Baekhyun is kissing you.

Byun Baekhyun, your brother’s right hand man, your parents favorite non-blood related child, is kissing you. He has to force himself to pull away; he never thought that your lips would be so soft, and how right it felt in that moment.

Your fingers reach up to touch your lips and you’re left speechless for a moment before the words erupts from your mouth. “Did you just kiss me?” He’s just as dumbfounded as you are because all he does is nod in return. “Why’d you do that?”

“Look, I don’t know if I have the same exact feelings for you like you do for me but seeing you with Lucas in that way... pissed me off. I didn’t like it.” Baekhyun looks troubled because he’s letting his hands run through his chocolate locks that were styled previously. “But I think I like you. I never really thought anything of it until you said something... but maybe we can give this a try?”

You squint your eyes at him. “Baekhyun, this isn’t something you just ‘try.’ I don’t want to be lead on. You can’t just say that you ‘think’ you like me and walk in like you own me or something.”

“At least give me a chance to make this work. Obviously something happened back there because I was ticked off enough to embarrass my mentee in front of you.” He sighs, dropping his body onto your made childhood bed. “Poor kid.”

“Eh, he’ll be fine. He needs something anyway. I heard he lives in his mother’s basement, which is fine I guess, but despite not going to college, he has debt?” Baekhyun glares at you from underneath his long luscious lashes, but it’s light and he’s not upset anymore. “Don’t make fun of my mentee, I’m supposed to guide him!”

“Do better.” You retort before plopping your body beside him on your bed, laying down flat on the covers. “I’ll give you a chance. But we can’t tell Chanyeol. If it doesn’t work out, then it’s a secret and he doesn’t have to worry. If it leads to more... let’s just wait ‘til that time comes and we can figure something out.” 

You can’t see him from where you are, but the sound of his voice is a dead giveaway that he’s smiling at your words. “I like the sound of that.”

“Aw, look at that, my best friend and my kid sister. Where were you guys?” Chanyeol looks a bit tipsy with his hooded eyes and crooked smile, but he’s only spilling elation when he slips in his socks and into the arms of Baekhyun when the two of you exit your room. 

“Uh, I wanted to move my desk and Baek offered to help.” Yeah. That’s a good excuse. 

“Mm, could’ve always asked me. But of course, Baekhyun here is an angel and loves to help out my family. Wouldn’t it be amazing if he was our brother?” The expression on your face cringes in disgust, the thought of Baekhyun being your brother and it’s like he reads your mind when he catches Chanyeol stumbling in his arms, pulling the taller male up. “You don’t want me as your brother, Yeol, that’s weird. Maybe I’ll date my way into your family,” He jokes, and you mouth ‘too soon!’ in his direction as he gives an unapologetic shrug shared with a smile.

“Who... her?” Chanyeol points to you with his chin, brows crinkles but releases with a laugh. “No way, man. She’s not even your type.”

“She can be my type.” The expression on Baekhyun’s face was pained, attempting to hold him up. “Little Park is pretty.”

“Mm, but she’s the serious type and you’ve had probably ten ‘serious’ girlfriends in the past four years!” He exclaims as you’re guiding the two of them toward Chanyeol’s bedroom, swinging open the door. “Little Park hasn’t even brought a boyfriend home.... heh, mom thinks she can’t get a boyfriend.”

You hiss. “That’s not true.” Chanyeol sticks his tongue out at you and you get a hit of vodka coming from his breath. “I think it’s true.” He sings, dropping his large frame onto the bed, eyes heavy. “Little Park needs a real boyfriend, Baek, not a fling!” Minutes later of Baekhyun trading Chanyeol’s jeans out with sweatpants, the two of you slowly close his door and heave out a weight breath.

“That was exhausting. He does this every year; it’s like my family is purposefully trying to get him to drunk to make me suffer.”

“Sorry,” Baekhyun mutters, hands slipping into the pockets of his jeans. “I should’ve been there to help you.” You wave him off, shaking your head in disagreement. “He’s my brother, it’s my responsibility.” Just when you’re about to walk away, he tugs on the hem of your shirt before you turn with a raised brow.

“You’re not... upset about what he said, are you?”

“About what?”

“About me. Having flings, never really having a serious girlfriend. About you, never bringing anyone home.”

You shrug. “I never wanted to bring anyone home in the first place. Doesn’t really matter to me.” Baekhyun chews on his bottom lip anxiously, fiddling with the fabric between his fingers. “I hope I can be that for you eventually.”

“Be what?”

“The one you want to bring home.”

Naeun is your best friend, biggest supporter, and also the most brutally honest person you’ve ever met. It’s in her DNA to be this way and although sometimes her candidness can hurt, you know she means well. So when you tell her about your Baekhyun escapades, her jaw is dropped down to the floor in awe.

“You’re kidding.”

“I am nothing but forthright.”

She smiles, tilting her head back in skepticism. “... No, you’re definitely playing me. There is no way he said that he likes you. There’s no way.” You pout. “Is it that hard to believe that a guy like him finds me attractive? Jesus, Naeun, hurt my feelings why don’t ya.”

“Girl, I’m just saying. He’s too hot and too much of a fuck boy... so him wanting to risk his relationship with his best friend to go after her sister... unless...” Her thoughts trail off for a moment before she comes back. “... Nah, never mind. There’s just no way. There’s a catch to this, I’m going to find it.”

“There’s absolutely no catch.”

“I’m just saying baby girl, watch out.” She’s leaning back on a wooden chair in your room that you had borrowed from the dining room set, swaying on the two legs dangerously. “Girls get their hearts broken because of him. And it’s because he’s such a nice boy about it that it makes them feel bad. Isn’t that crazy? What power he holds.”

“You’re giving him way too much power just from this conversation we’re having. Naeun, if you believe that he has that much hanging over all of us, then you’re enabling him to do so!”

“So you agree... you think he’s a playboy with a lot of power.”

“Naeun!” You holler, rolling your eyes at your friend. “He’s nothing but a guy that I like. We keep talking about him as if he’s this being that’s better than all of us when in actuality, he’s just a really nice guy.”

Naeun scoffs. “Who is really fucking hot, by the way. Don’t forget that.” She stands up and makes her way toward your closet, slinging the doors wide open. “Which means you should probably update your wardrobe too. You think a guy like Baek wants to date someone in hoodies and sweatpants all the time?” You purse your lips at your friend. “Don’t make me feel insecure about this, he already told me he likes me.”

“Okay, but what about the competition? Aren’t there girls lining up for him?” There’s silence for a moment, indicating that you’re almost lured into her trap before she sings your name. “Come on, wouldn’t you want to try looking cute for him?”

“I try!”

“Did you meet him today?” She asks. “Yes?” You respond questioningly. Why?”

“And you were wearing that?” Naeun gestures your attire. As mentioned before, just like your entire closet, you’re dressed in black hoodie and sweatpants. At least they matched, right? She grabs your hand and pulls you up. “You said you guys were going to meet tonight again, so let’s get you ready for that!”

If meeting Baekhyun required getting ready 3 hours in advance, you don’t know if you can date him anymore.

As planned, Baekhyun is parked at the end of the block waiting for you, shooting a text in your direction to let you know that he’s here. Slipping your phone into your bag, you heave out a heavy sigh of how tight this skirt that Naeun forced you into. “I thought I looked fine earlier,” you grumble to yourself before adjusting your blouse and snatching a jacket from the coat rack.

Attempting to sneak out of your house without gaining Chanyeol’s attention was hard. He couldn’t help being nosey. It was in his nature.

“Whoa, looking smokin’ hot for who?” Chanyeol exclaims with his arms crossed in front of your bedroom door. You groan loudly. “Can you please just leave and get out of my way? I’m trying to go out.”

Chanyeol looks astonished. “And with who? I’ve never seen you dressed like this before.” You push a strand of hair that gets caught in your makeup. “Honestly, I don’t know either. Naeun made me look like this.”

“You’re probably going to scare the guy away before you even get him.” You frown. “Let me figure that out tonight. So if you would excuse me—“ Aggressively shoving your brother aside with your hidden Hulk strength, he slams into the wall and winces as you made a run for it.

You want to cry. You felt ridiculous, and Chanyeol’s comment only made it worse. Walking up to Baekhyun’s car, you see him leaned against the hood of his car, skimming through something on his phone. He looks amazing in dark slacks and jet-black sweater tucked in them. He lifts his head to see you, jaw dropping in shock. Your legs were out for the world to see, shirt low enough for a glimpse of your cleavage and he can only gulp and clear his throat before stuttering on his words. “Whoa—I—“

You respond with a moan. “Do I look ridiculous? Naeun came over earlier and forced me to dress prettier, and Chanyeol stopped me before leaving the house and said I looked crazy. Please tell me which one it is so I can go back and do something about it.”

Baekhyun laughs. He laughs as if the situation you’re in is funny. “I think you’re always pretty. You just look even prettier today.” You chew on your bottom lip anxiously, shoulders dropping in doubt. “Are you sure? We haven’t even started the date yet and I feel like I ruined it.” He only shakes his head with a soft smile, walking over to the passenger door to open it for you.

 When he’s sitting in the car beside you, he swears his throat closes up when your skirt hikes up in your seat. Warding off the sinful thoughts of you, he starts the ignition of the car, letting the engine warm up for a bit before driving off. The last time you’d been in this car was when he was teaching you how to drive; weekend after weekend, while just you and Baekhyun in this worn down Lexus, he stole your heart bit by bit. You never thought you’d find yourself in this situation again; somehow you were the one stealing his.

“Where are we going?”

“Dinner. I heard there was this really great Italian place they opened downtown. Maybe we can get dessert after?” He glances over at you to see your reaction, only regretting because you so pretty with the sunset behind you.

“That sounds good.” You grin.

That night, the dinner itself wasn’t the most amazing thing you’ve ever had, but the talks you had with Baekhyun were. There wasn’t a dull moment with him, he had stories to share that made you laugh until you’re almost choking on the pasta and by the time dinner was over, you were just glad that there was still dessert to look forward to.

“This place looks new.” You say, eyes sparkling with the countless of options listed on the menu mounted above. “There’s so many to choose from.” Baekhyun notes that although your eyes seem youthful and the smile plastered on your face supported that, everything about you wasn’t the same anymore. How’d he miss out on this for so many years?

You wave your hand in front of his face. “Baek, you good? Have you decided what you like?” He lets out a nervous chuckle, nodding his head. “Uh, yeah. Grab me the strawberry on a cone, will you?”

He slides his card to pay before you could even stop him, frowning when you hand him his cone as the two of you exit the shop. “I could’ve paid, you know.”

“I don’t really trust anyone who gets mint chocolate chip… so…”

“Oh, so you don’t. What’s wrong with mint?”

“Do you like eating toothpaste or something?” You slap his arm, and he winces, remembering that although you were small in comparison to him, your strength was impeccable. “Oh—shit, I’m sorry, Baek.”

“I forgot how strong you were. Do you lift or something?” His face contorts in pain, but he’s not in that much pain. “No, although, now that you mention it, I should probably get into it since I know I’d be so good.” Baekhyun winces. “How am I ever going to stand next to you? I’ll be living in fear all the time.”

“Speaking of, I heard you finally moved out of your parents place.” Licking your ice cream, Baekhyun has to look away or else these thoughts would creep up again. “I have. Want to come over after this? We can squeeze in a movie, and I borrowed something from Chanyeol the other day, so I can drop it off when I take you home.”

Bent over, reaching for the controller underneath the coffee table, Baekhyun swallows. His gaze drifts off to the ceiling, praying that you wouldn’t notice the boner he’s supporting right now. When did you grow up? He has to shake off the dirty things he’s imagining you doing right now.

“Here.” You slap the controller in the palm of his hand before adjusting your top. “Are you comfortable? Do you wanna borrow some of my clothes?” Lips jutting into a pout, you want to tell Baekhyung, yes, hell the fuck yes I want to wear your clothes and get out of this brutally uncomfortable skirt, but the words don’t leave you mouth and he can only smile. It’s like he reads your mind because he stands from the couch and enters into his room. Seconds later, he has a pair of sweats and a hoodie for you. Your favorite dynamic duo.

You’re barely 1/4th through the movie, Baekhyun’s arm around you with your head cuddled against his chest while wearing his clothes that smelled so good, smelled like him. This amount of comfort was never evident with any of your previous relationships, but something about Baekhyun made everything feel okay. Turning your head to look over at him, he’s breathing soundlessly as if he’s asleep, but his attention is all diverted to the television. His jawline looked tempting, skin smooth and soft, you bring your lips to kiss the bone.

He chuckles at the action, eyes down to meet with yours. “Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“I should be the one asking you that.” He presses a chaste kiss on your lips before giving you one last look of confirmation. Crashing his lips onto yours, you welcomed him inside with your tongues knotting and sliding past one another, you hum against him. It sent a warmth feeling down your center and you wanted know if he felt it too. Pushing the blanket off your frame, you climb over his lap, swinging a leg over before pressing yourself down on him, his hands slowly making his way to your waist, hesitating as if he’s asking for permission. Hands forcing on his in invitation, he complies, pulling you close to his body.

He lets go of your lips, a lewd smack from your kiss separating. He’s panting like he’s just run a marathon, heart racing to the point that he’s afraid you can hear it. There’s a rush in him, excitement pumping through his veins and he’s never felt this before. You felt too much like home to him, and this was just the first date, how was he supposed to survive any more if you had him wrapped around his finger like this?

“I don’t want to go any further if you don’t want to. It’s our first date—Is it too soon?” He says, his voice meek and faint, the total opposite of how he usually is around you. Afraid he’d mess it up, afraid that everything that happened today wouldn’t happen again if he didn’t do it right.

“Please take me. I want you, Baek, I really do. I’ve been waiting for this since I met you when I was sixteen.” You sounded desperate, cheeks flushed in embarrassment of how intoxicated you were from his kisses. “Don’t make it sound like that, I’m sorry I made you wait this long.” He whispers before leaning back into the kiss, palm rubbing your hip soothingly before you begin to grind on him. The sight of you in his clothes brought the blood rushing straight into his pants that were starting to be uncomfortably tight.

Baekhyun made you feel like a princess that night—sprawled on his bed, arms wrapped around his neck while he peppered kisses constantly on your damp forehead, skins slapping as the headboard of the bed bangs against the wall. Soughing sweet nothings into your ears, nibbling on your lobes to help you reach your high, a hand reaching down to toy with your clit before your toes are curling, fingers digging into his shoulders while your climax was approaching. He had you in a trance, fully blissed out, and before you know it, you’re cumming, letting out your final moans and cries. It drag must’ve felt nice, because his hips are stuttering, losing it’s rhythm until he stills, long spurts of his cum splattering you walls.

He falls over, pulling you close and nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck, gifting you a quick kiss on your sweaty skin. “Stay for the night?” You nod.

You end up staying more nights with him.

Your presence meant more to Baekhyun than you ever knew. Those rough days where he’s at the office, he loves coming back to his apartment, seeing you in his dark home with only the kitchen light illuminating on the granite island with your books spread out with your notes and music blasting from your computer. There were some nights where he’d be home late hours and you’re snuggled in blankets on the couch, the only brightness in the room is from the television, shining on your face in multiple colors with you completely engrossed with what’s playing. It was his favorite part of the day, the thing he looked forward to the most.

The night he knew that he couldn’t ever let you go was when he came home just in time because you were taking out a tray of something from the oven, apron wrapped around your frame with a surprised expression on your face. “Oh, you’re back?” You sound shocked, mostly because you told him you wouldn’t be here tonight but yet… there you were.

“Not that I don’t love having you around, but I thought you said you weren’t coming over today?” Baekhyun asks, dropping his jacket on one of the dining room chairs. “And what are you making?”

You scrunch up your nose. “Honestly, sorry baby, I wanted to use your oven. Then I felt bad for using your oven without telling you, so I baked you banana bread as well. Then I lost track of time and I’m supposed to deliver these cupcakes to Naeun for her lacrosse team bake sale tomorrow.” Baekhyun chortles in amusement, wrapping his arms around you from behind before pecking your lips. “All good, baby.”

He doesn’t even care that you came to his house without a warning. He’s glad you’re there—Baekhyun had the expectation that you weren’t going to be there that night, so the drive home was dreadful, but just catching you in the act of using his oven… nothing made him happier. He’s not letting you go.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You hiss, eyes darting at him. Pausing from stuffing your personal belongings into your duffle bag, regret washes over how much stuff you’ve accumulated here. His place had too much of your things and having this fight alone was bringing in a lot of realizations. How could you get comfortable so easily?

Baekhyun sighs, fingers running through those locks that you had always dreamed of having your own in, but at this state, you’re fuming with anger. “You’re only twenty-two and my best friend’s little sister. There’s so much to life you haven’t seen yet... I don’t think you’re mature enough for me.”

“I’m not mature enough for you?” Shaking your head, you continue to fill your bag. “Ridiculous. I’m twenty-two, Baekhyun, not sixteen. Need I remind you that you also wanted this? I’m also not the one talking to other women while you’re with me— with me! You said you liked me. But the entire time, you had someone in the back burner, ready to replace me when it’s time.”

He says your name with another exasperated breath, feeling speechless. He doesn’t get to feel frustrated, you think to yourself, not today, not in this situation. “I do like you. More than you think, actually. But do you ever think of what Chanyeol is going to say or how he’d react if he knew? I’m feeling guilty, extremely guilty. You’re not just his sister, but you’re his little sister, which means a lot more. He’s getting suspicious of me sneaking around with some girl he hasn’t heard about yet.”

You’re fuming. Little sister this, little sister that. Every conversation with Baekhyun always seemed to lead to that topic—how young you were, and how experienced he’d been in comparison. “Who fucking cares? He’s my brother, he doesn’t get a say in my relationships. And who is he to you that he can decide yours?”

“He’s my best friend, one that’s been around for me almost forever. I can’t just go behind his back and date his sister, let alone sleep with her.”

“Then let’s not make it complicated any more. I’m leaving.”

He freezes. Why’s he suddenly so shocked? He was watching you pack your bags seconds ago, yet it’s like reality only struck him in that moment. Baekhyun reaches to grasp onto your wrist and you push back. “Wait, you’re not actually leaving, are you?”

“What do you expect me to do? Stay? After the way you spoke to me? What about when you called me ignorant and inexperienced? Too young for you? Should I list more things why you can’t be with me and for some reason you want me to still stay?”

“I-I didn’t mean it like that,” He says, stuttering in his words. “I still have feelings for you, nonetheless.”

“That doesn’t mean shit, Baekhyun.” You pull from his hold, slinging the bag over your shoulder before storming out his apartment. “I have some pride and dignity. I can’t just stay with someone who looks and speaks of me so condescendingly.” He doesn’t stop following you though, door left open as he chases you down the flight of stairs. 

“Drive safe,” He says softly, watching your figure make way to your car that parks outside of the apartment complex, heart clenching at the sight of you walk away. “Please text me when you get home.”

“As if,” You scoff, aggressively opening the door. “Don’t expect to hear from me anymore, Baekhyun.”

He’s like every other guy you’ve ever dated, have ever been with. This guy—the one who you’ve always put on a pedestal and admired— wasn’t just a guy anymore, but rather any other one you’ve ever dated. He’d stolen your heart in your early years but in actuality, Byun Baekhyun was like any other boy. Disappointing and sleazy.

Respect and admiration, the two main characteristics you looked for in a man, and the one that you thought had them, didn’t end up having them. Tears were welling up into your eyes as you’re driving; sleeves too long that they cover your hands on the wheel, and you want nothing more than just to speed past these cars on the highway.

But you knew better than to let your emotions run wild. Yet the tears just don’t stop falling.

Age. Age was just a number. There were so many people that were the same age as you without the equivalent amount of experience as you held. Whether if it were more or less, the main point was evident: age didn’t matter. It’s what Baekhyun felt was a constant need to remind you when things weren’t working out or when it got tough. It had been frustrating. Maybe it was a good thing to have left. After all, what would it have been like if you had to tell your brother?

There’s constant dinging coming from your bag, and once the traffic begins to build up, you take your attention away for a brief moment to check it.

10 Missed Calls. 30 New Messages.

All from Baekhyun.

There’s an urge within you to want to call him back but you know better. If you heard his sweet, soothing voice over the phone, you’d unconsciously turn your car around and drive directly back to his apartment. It’s how it always was.

But from now on, it was different. You can’t put Baekhyun on a pedestal anymore, you can’t put him as this picture perfect guy for you. He wasn’t— he was human, and that was okay for you, more than just okay, but he proved at that very moment that maybe you weren’t right for him.

Another blind date.

You’ve been on countless of blind dates since you officially announced to your family that the guy you’ve been seeing wasn’t... well, you weren’t seeing him anymore. Because of this, your mom thinks that you’re bitter and lonely, fearing that you’ll never find someone. “You’re only twenty-two and can’t even keep a man? We have to start early while we still have time!” 

Luckily, Chanyeol tried backing you out of this one but there’s no argument against your mother. So he suggests doing the matching. You pray he’s not trying to get back at you for stealing the last yogurt cup in the fridge back in 2011.

Getting into your ‘lucky’ signature black mini dress was a bit harder than usual— you want to blame it on the relationship weight gain but you admit that your healthy habits have been lacking. After sucking in a deeper breath, the dress finally zips. Smoothing out the crevasses on the skirt of your attire, you give yourself a last check in the mirror before giving yourself a grin and a thumbs up. “OK, I got this.”

The door bell rings; assuming it’s your date, you quickly slide open your closet doors to find your heels until a familiar laugh perks up your ears. It’s none other than Baekhyun.

“You... look like you were standing by the door waiting for someone and I’m pretty sure I made this a surprise visit.” Peering out into the hallway, you can see his figure standing at the door frame, dressed in a hoodie, ripped jeans, and a trench coat... why does he make it so hard to hate him?

Chanyeol shakes his head, standing aside for his friend to enter. “Jongin is supposed to be here sometime soon.”

“Oh, you made plans with him?”

“Nah, setting him up with my sister. I’m free for the rest of the night. You tryna hang?” Baekhyun gives Chanyeol a dazed look of bewilderment. “You’re... setting up your sister with Kim Jongin?” He nods with his lips pursed, confident with his response that his friend seems to question uncertainly. “Yeah. My mom has been on her case lately about having a boyfriend since apparently the guy she was seeing dumped her. She thinks that little Park has some personality issues and it’s going to take some time before she meets someone. I figured I’d give her an easy date, at least Jongin isn’t a dick like the past few guys.”

Baekhyun feels queasy. Were you really moving on that quickly? It was barely a week since he’d last seen you and the visual of you walking away that night haunted his days. “How long ago since it’s been since she and the guy broke up? Couldn’t have been that long, right? Why are you guys already setting her up on dates so soon?”

Chanyeol shrugs his shoulders. “Not sure. Why’s it matter anyway? Jongin is a nice guy anyway and could use some stability in his life.”

“That guy rides a motorcycle and races almost every weekend. You think he’s good for your sister?” His tone spilled in flabbergast. “You don’t think he’s going to influence her?”

“She’s an adult, she can handle herself. I highly doubt he would be influencing her though, pretty sure she would more than likely be influencing him.” Baekhyun can agree to that— after all, he’d fallen victim to that. But he didn’t like the idea of you being with someone else and he definitely wasn’t a fan of seeing you look pretty for a guy like Jongin. “Well, what if I took her out on a date?” He suggests.

Chanyeol can only let out a laugh, leading Baekhyun into the living room. “Yeah right, don’t kid around, Baek. My mom is strict about her looking for suitors; we’re looking for serious inquiries only.”

The doorbell finally rings. “Oh! I think it’s for me— I’ll get it!” Baekhyun’s head pivots to see you rushing out of your room, slipping into your heels the last second with a black leather jacket folded over your arm. He feels the breath stolen from his lungs. 

“Oh. Hey Baekhyun,” You say, a weak smile upon your lips. “I got the door.” 

Standing at the door with a loose dress shirt tucked in his slacks, with a couple buttons undone; Jongin’s sun-kissed tan skin is exposed from underneath, hair slicked back in gel with a bright grin on his face. “Hey, pretty.” Voice deep and smooth, goosebumps appearing on your arms. “Hi.” 

“Jongin.” He startles you from behind, bumping you aside before giving his friend a handshake. “Taking little Park out? Per Chanyeol’s request?” Jongin only nods, and he doesn’t take his eyes off of you. “Yes, but... I did it willingly. After all, look how beautiful she looks.” Baekhyun snaps his fingers to regain his attention. “Where are you taking her?”

“Surprise.” He says nonchalantly, noting Baekhyun’s sudden possessiveness. “Where’s Yeol? Told him I’d say my goodbyes before I take her out tonight.” Saved by the presence of Chanyeol, you finally let go of the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Despite the height difference, Baekhyun was attempting to size up Jongin, although lacking a bit from the towering younger male. “Whoa, what’s going on here?”

“Nothing,” They both say in unison, but Chanyeol only chuckles at the sight of his two friends. “Well, thanks for doing this for me Jongin, I’m sure you made both mine and my sister’s night a little easier.”

“Well, drive safe when you go.” Baekhyun says through his gritted teeth. Words that were once so affectionate and caring now had a different meaning behind them.

Standing by the door with his arms crossed on his chest, Baekhyun scowls while Chanyeol leans against the frame. Jongin hands over to you the spare helmet on the backseat of his motorcycle (which by the way... hot) before hopping on. Settling comfortably behind him, he lifts up his arms and although Baekhyun can’t hear what Jongin’s saying, he already knows the words. Wrap your arms around me so you don’t fall off. Right on cue because your arms snake around his frame, gripping on as tight as Baekhyun’s jaw clenches.

The restaurant he takes you to is way out of your comfort zone.

There was a comment here and there from Chanyeol that Jongin was from old money, however there wasn’t much brought up after that. Where he brings you on your first date is evident of this; it’s lavishly decorated, dark lighting with a candle that illuminates just the table, freshly picked flowers from their own garden, linen tablecloths and napkins, and to top it off, a classical band plays in the corner. 

“Wow... after telling me to hop onto the back of your motorcycle, I really didn’t expect you to take me here.” He lets out a low snicker, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “A beautiful woman like you deserves a luxurious date as this.”

Jongin is a gentleman. He pulls out your chair for you, opens the car door for you, and when there’s goosebumps on your arm and you shiver at the cool air blowing down at you, he’s observant enough without you saying and asks the waiter to turn off the air.

“Baekhyun Hyung seems like have a thing for you, doesn’t he?”Jongin asks, picking up his knife to saw his steak. “I saw how... protective he was of you.”

“Eh, just an instinct. He and my brother are close, so I’m sure it rubbed off.” You lie. It’s easier to lie.

Jongin isn’t convinced. “No, I’m pretty sure he was giving me daggers with his eyes. Like... boyfriend daggers. As if I was stealing his girl or something.” 

“I’m not really anyone’s to claim,” You say, fork pushing your pasta around. This conversation wasn’t fun and you weren’t in the mood to be in it. After all, you were at this date because Baekhyun didn’t want to be yours in the first place. “Hence why we’re on this date, right? There’s no Baekhyun.”

But for the rest of the night, Jongin doesn’t let it go. He keeps bringing it up, as if Baekhyun is now his competitor and they’re both fighting for a mate. 

You call it a night. Saying that you might’ve eaten something bad during lunch and it wasn’t sitting well in your stomach. So much for an easy date.

“You look... really stressed out dude. Maybe we should go out for drinks tonight or something.” Chanyeol suggests, stirring the sugar in his iced coffee with the plastic straw. “What’s up with you?”

He can’t get you out of his mind. He can’t go to bars, clubs, restaurants... pretty much anywhere; he can’t go anywhere because everything reminds him of you. Baekhyun only agrees to meet up with Chanyeol because he doesn’t want to seem any more suspicious, but it seems that showing up didn’t do much of a difference either.

“Can I ask you something? And you not be mad about it?” Baekhyun blurts, leaning forward in his seat with his arms against the table.

“Uh, sure.” Chanyeol responds, brows furrowed in confusion. “I guess I can’t really control my anger if you’re asking something ridiculous, but shoot.”

“No, I really need you to not be upset about it.”

“... Uh, okay, then I guess continue.”

Baekhyun takes in a deep breath and exhales, so deep that it takes him a while to recover in order to continue the conversation. “I... Would be upset if I told you that I might have feelings for your sister?”

Chanyeol raises a brow. “... Do you really? You’re not joking, right? Because that’s some sick joke—”

“No? At least, I don’t think I am.” Baekhyun says quickly, shaking his head. “Just... can you stop setting her up with these other guys?” His best friend takes a sip of his drink, cringing at the taste before opening the lid to pour more sugar into it. “Okay, I won’t anymore. So what are you going to do now?”

“You— you’re not mad about it?”

Taking a sip of the coffee, he nods in content before closing the lid. “Well, yeah, why would I be mad?” He pauses for a moment, eyes gazing up at Baekhyun’s tired ones. “Wait... you’re not telling me that she’s the reason you’ve been so stressed out, are you? Dude, I sent her out with Jongin! What’d you do?”

“I... I don’t know.” He responds, still appalled by Chanyeol’s calmness surrounding the situation. “But we dated for a bit and I ruined it by telling her that you might not be as supportive about this.”

“Dude...” He clicks his tongue in disbelief. “Why didn’t you just tell me before? Did you already fuck up before it even really started?”

“What else am I supposed to do? What if you said no? Was I to pick between the girl I’m in love with and my best friend?”

“Baek, stop being difficult. She’s old enough to decide things herself. What do you think this is, the Medieval times? Women are capable of making their own decisions— even if she’s my baby sister and something in my stomach really wants to punch you for even laying your eyes on her, but I can’t do that.” Then, there’s a pause. “Did you say you love her?”

“Uh...” He sighs, standing up in his seat and gestures Baekhyun up as well. “Come on, let’s go fix this mess.”

Baekhyun declines, slouching. “I’ve already fucked it up to the point of no return. She blocked my number, doesn’t respond to texts— I couldn’t even come to your house this past week because I knew she would ignore me. I look like a crazed boyfriend with how much I’m trying here.”

“You are a crazed boyfriend, you literally fucked up your chances with her.”

“Which is why I think I should completely give up.”

Rubbing his face in his hands, Chanyeol frustratedly groans. “Honestly, if you’re going to give up so easily, maybe you don’t deserve her.” Baekhyun swallows, anxiously shaking his leg under the table. “What am I supposed to do? Stand outside her house until she has to come out?”

“Well, for one thing, you got her brother’s permission and acceptance of the two of you being together. Isn’t that something? Wasn’t that one of the reasons that stemmed from the conversation?”

Baekhyun grunts, hands furiously ruffling his hair. “It wasn’t only that. I called her immature, Yeol. I told her that she wasn’t mature enough for me.” His best friend stays silent for a moment, so quiet that you could almost hear him blink. “Do you really believe that?”

“Of course not. She’s the most mature twenty two year old I’ve ever met. She has most of her life together than I do, not including the fact that she has more self-assurance than I ever did at that age. But she doesn’t make me feel bad about it either; she wants me to bask in my childish behavior and be myself—“

“—stop talking and save it for her, will you?”

His palms are incredibly sweaty. Wiping the excess moisture on the fabric of his jeans, he tightens his jaw but follows with a deep inhale and exhale afterwards. “Why are you so nervous? I thought you said you liked her and were comfortable with her?” Chanyeol is shuffling through his pockets and filing through the many keys he has for the front door of your parents’ place before a familiar voice is heard behind the wooden material.

“I think it’s Yeol, Dad! I got it—“ The door swings open and the sight of you clenches Baekhyun’s chest.

You’re so pretty; so fucking goddamn pretty. Hair tied back in a loose bun, oversized grey hoodie and black shorts yet the simplest outfit has Baekhyun almost gasping for air. It makes the acidity in his stomach grumble— or his intestines in a knot; he’s not quite sure. One thing he was certain of was that knowing that he was the cause of your tired and sad eyes made his heart drop.

“Oh, hey Baekhyun.” That stung. He missed hearing you call him your baby. “You guys coming in?”

“I’m coming in. But you? Stay out here and talk to Baekhyun.” A blank expression on your face, you blink profusely. “Is everything okay?”

“Apparently not. Seemed like my friend is rather smitten with you. What’d you do? Drug his drink?”

“With what? You think I have to drug your friends to think I’m somewhat pretty?”

“No, I think you have to drug their drinks to get them to fall in love with you. He’s crazy now; I don’t think I want to be around him anymore. You keep him.” His words don’t have an underlying tone that you can pick out but he ends it off with a soft smile before patting your shoulder and walking into the house.

It’s just you and Baekhyun.

“Why’s he talking like that?” You say, ultimately shattering the glass of silence. “He’s acting like I have all his friends by a leash.”

“You have me by a leash.” It’s a quiet again. A heavy empty space of stillness settled over the two of you, thicker than the awkwardness and tension that had never been there before.

“Why are you—“

“You’re home early.” Baekhyun states the obvious, gathering enough courage to speak up. “Bad date?” Sucking in your cheeks, you’re tempted to tell him that it’s none of his business, yet you play along to his game anyway. “No... he was great. He just had a lot to offer when it came to money and I knew I couldn’t reciprocate nor live that life.” He nods as if this information was helpful, knowing that regardless of the turnout of the date, he would still be having this conversation.

“I told Yeol.” Your eyes widen; this is the most of a reaction he has gotten from you in a while and he admits that he misses it. “You what? Are you crazy? It was supposed to be meticulously planned—”

“He said he was okay with it.” Blinking blankly, you’re still hesitant about what to say next. “That... that doesn’t change where we left off.” Distressingly raking his hair with his fingers, he nods. “I know it doesn’t make up for any of the things I said but I still want another shot. I said it in the moment of panic— I had to pick between you and Chanyeol, and I didn’t know what to do.”

“So... what are you trying to say?”

“That what I said the other day, I didn’t mean it. I guess, calling you little Park like I’ve always done made it easy, knowing that I didn’t have to choose between my best friend and the girl I’ve been head over heels for. It gave me enough time to figure out what I wanted to do and... I just ended up ruining it for myself.”

You’re quiet the entire time, hands twiddling with the fabric of your hoodie. Unsure how to feel and uncertain of what to say, you just swallow any words that want to leave your mouth, not wanting to be too easy and let him back into your arms so easily. “Please, say something, say anything. I’m in love with you and honestly, I never thought I’d be in this position. All those girls I’ve dated—none of them made me feel in comparison to you.” His voice is wavering; you assume it’s from him being nervous.

“Baek, I don’t want to get hurt again.” You say softly, almost in a whisper. “You made me feel so stupid that day. I put you on this pedestal, I thought so highly of you—“

“Don’t do that,” He interrupts, stepping closer to you. “Don’t think so highly of me because I already broke your heart once. I made you wait so long and never realized your feelings for me. You’re the one that I should be putting on a pedestal.” Tears begin to well in your eyes again—Baekhyun’s the reason again, but it’s the opposite from before.

“I picked my nose before opening the door and wiped it on the doorknob before coming out because I knew Chanyeol was going to touch it. Are you sure about that?” He laughs, arms wrapping around your frame before pulling you against his chest. “Exactly what I looked for in a girlfriend. Someone who would torture my best friend.”

“I think I’m ready to move out.”

“Oh wow,” You say, slightly impressed. “You’re like what, 29? You probably should have your own place by now. Instead, you’ve been living at your parents’ house, trying to steal your sister’s last can of coke from the fridge. And you didn’t even bother to replace it!” Baekhyun chuckles at the siblings arguing, rubbing your back soothingly.

“Nobody asked you to drink so much of it. It’s bad for your heath.”

“You’re just saying that because you can’t handle my hits. You want me to be weaker.”

“Rightfully so.” He attacks back, sticking his tongue at you. “Man, ever since Baek started dating you, he won’t even stand by me anymore. I felt like I had more confidence knowing that he might back me up.” His friend shakes his head. “I never did though, I let you guys just fight.” Chanyeol groans. “Whatever. Anyway, I think I should look for a roommate temporarily before completely moving out on my own.”

Baekhyun sits up on the couch. “You could always come live with me, you know.” Your older brother scoffs, shaking his head. “Nah, not after you started dating my sister. I’m only half okay with this, I’m not sure how I’d feel hearing your bedpost banging on the wall.”

“What— why would you even bring that up!”

Chanyeol sighs disappointingly, leaning back. “Man, I miss when Baek used to date other girls. He’d talk about how wild some of them were, how his flings were… he lived the life I wanted to live—ouch! Did you just throw the controller at me?” He winces, rubbing his head. “What was that for?”

“Are you seriously talking about his past sexual encounters in front of me, you asshole?”

“Okay but Baek—“ Baekhyun raises his hands in defeat. “I don’t know if I’m cool with you bringing this up with my current girlfriend, dude.”

“This is a losing battle, isn’t it?”

#baekhyun #baekhyun fanfic #reader x baekhyun #baekhyun x reader #exo #exo fanfic #exo fics #baekhyun & reader #baekhyun&reader #exo smut #baekhyun smut #gyukultfics

[youranxiousnerd]

Spring Break Thoughts

bc i want to get stuck in an airport and break into first class

spoilers below

EJ DOING THE INTRO

the most...profound intro?

“maybe it’s really about other people” looks at gina

i have jumped on the portwell train

when i first saw they were doing zoom backgrounds i was not on board, but they’ve grown on me carlos’ sucks

miss jenn and the zoom backgrounds

NI NI HEL LO

nini didn’t you get cut?

you know miss jenn they could get together out side of school (at least the kids who are here)

olivia is so pretty

aww carlos called miss jenn his madrina

HA I KNEW IT OF COURSE CARLOS INVITED SEB

seblos tension, ill get to that later

they’re so passive aggressive guys i love it

ASH AND EJ

CASWELL COUSINS YESSS

“You guys are watching like, old, old movies”

“This is why we’re soulmates” the redyln goal has been reached bye

this...this is the only line they get?

miss jenn has obviously not gotten the memo

three weeks and you havent blocked act two

“not it”

of course sebby is the last one to leave

“bye” awww miss jenn

GINA THAT LITTLE GIG YESSSS

just one complement after another ej

AHHHH EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YESSSSS

he looks so good ej should do it more often

ej fell hard guys

jack in the background doing tik toks i cant

gina and signs

RICKY IN A BLANKET

ugh its lynne

i dont care enough to spell her name right

“just being a burrito here”

bitter ricky, i feel ya

“I’m sorry to hear that’s it over” *smiles*

nini you should have just posted a video

ope empty notebook

awww ej’s insta

gina and jack

thats it

“she changed her name” nina is literally her real name 

the leg pull away

ricky and bedding is my new favorite ship besides therapy

“Your boy Jack”

when i first saw the promo for this nini scene i was worried it was gonna be another solo (shes had like 16)

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE A RAINBOW HEART

my gay heart is bursting

nina really said “rainbows are awesome” this episode

and the necklace is off

guys i love improv scenes

it was so goood

soooo howie and kourt just get no closure after that killer song last week? no nothing? 

BAHAHAHA KOURTNEY BREAKING UP

i love kourtney

sofia is so pretty

okay i dont ship jack and gina but they’re fun together, little chaos demons

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT AHHHH

“my friends, like, my castmates, they think it sucks what you did on opening night”

good talk, long overdo. nothing is solved by any means but little steps

the therapy line omfg 

“HI, CUPCAKE”

“I’ll meet you in the pool” there is an ocean right behind you

 “Don’t ask me”

“Ashlyn, Big Red, Miss. Jenn, Carlos”

the way seb’s face just DROPS when he mentions carlos

“Are you guys fighting” big red looked so happy omfg

“That would imply that we’re speaking”

“Who has time to talk when you’re busy posting selfies with random guys in a cabana”

guys i had to pause for five minutes because i was dying

jealous seb... where did you come from?

ALRIGHT IT IS TIME TO TALK ABOUT SEBLOS!!!!

first off, it seems the writers love to make major seblos things happen off screen. examples include there pinning and officially getting together

where... where did all this tension come from? it has been light the past two episodes then bam, everything they say to each other is bitter. since when is seb jealous? the writers have so many other conflicts to talk about and they choose jealous seb? off all thing?!?! im honestly kind of disappointed because there are so many other things to talk about from previous episodes and instead they choose this?!?!?! hopefully this isn’t the only thing that is addressed next week, it cant be. they better talk about the constant “no seb” because its an issue. 

moral of the story is i hope the fight next episode isn’t about seb being jealous bc there is so much more to talk about

i am loving passive aggressive seb like i hope that doesn’t go away when their conflict is resolved bc it’s awesome

HERE are my thoughts on the zoom call

okay seb’s line about doing public makes sense with the full episode

everyone on the call is just like “wtf happened to my otp”

EJJJJ

EJJJJ I LOVE YOU

THE BEST EJ SCENE 

“Hi Nini!” ejjjj

you have to watch the scene twice, one to watch nini and ashlyn and another for ej

EJ AND THE PUPPET THATS IT IM DONE

sassy gina i love her

guys i just love everybody

ASHLYN AND NINI I MISSED THIS DUO GAHHHHHH THEY’RE ADORABLE

ej is a child i love it

ricky i feel you with the songwriting

look at big red being best friend of the year now give him a plot line

i am under the impression jack recorded gina 

SHIT THE CANDLE TO LAMP TRANSITION YESSSSS

i love transitions and that was it

matt is ripped

julia lester showed up this season. queen shit 

she is perfect

YES BIG RED AND KOURTNEY DANCING I WANT MOREEEE

i am so confused with seb’s gloves

that has been bugging me for two days 

carlos has more style then a hawaiian shirt and khakis

im in heaven the harmonies are soooo good

they are amazing they sound so good

you can hear all there voices

julia popped off

aint seen nothin is really good, i wasn’t sure about it at first but its grown. they sound so damn good the talent they hold. not the best song but its fun

the video actually looks better than i thought it would

“Wow” me too richard

jack is fun, i’d be okay if he comes back. he is a little chaos demon.

i like how the writers didn’t make them romantic (for once), hopefully gina got his number bc i would

i want to be stuck at an airport with jack

“let you go” is genius. so far the best original song this season. josh has been killing it lately. this is the ballad ricky deserves. lyrical genius. he sounds sooo good.

the one time i agree with lynne

EJ YOU CAMEEEEEE

OMFG THEY’RE ADORABLE

PORTWELLLLLLL BABY WHOOOP

HE IS GONNA TREAT YOU SO GOOD GINA 

HE BROUGHT YOU FOOD AND TOOK YOUR BAG 

GAHHHHHH 

nOoOoOoOo thats it?!?! i cannot wait a week i refuse

i normally don’t talk about promos but episode 10 (im a sucker for sleepover episodes) is my most anticipated episode so we gonna do it. 

for starters ricky has a guitar, so he might sing?

AWW THE SETS THEY ARE SO PRETTY

ooo lily is back?

blueprint?

ashlyn and ricky where have you been?!?!

seb and the girls yesss

since in a heartbeat is next episode seb probably leaves? i hope it is a private moment

oh please talk about your other issues pleaseee

“why did i never hear about this?” nina no, it was an accident alright?

gina and nini haven’t interacted this season and the first thing they do is fight.

lets hope there “beef” doesn’t take the a slot 

maybe another seblos kiss?

did you know i love seblos

i have stocked up my tears for next week

#hsm the series #hsm the musical #hsmtsts #high school musical the series #hsmtmts season 2 #nini salazar roberts #nini #nina #ricky #ricky bowen #rini #gina #gina porter #ej #ej caswell #portwell #ashlyn moon caswell #ashlyn moon #ashlyn #ashlyn caswell #big red #redlyn #seb #seb mathew smith #carlos #carlos rodriguez #miss jenn #seblos #mr mazzara #Jack

[simonsrosebud]

hc of neil meeting extended family?? i always feel like he's GOTTA have more than JUST nathan, mary, and stuart right ??

So if Nathan had siblings, then Neil has uncles/aunts.  If Neil has uncles/aunts, he has cousins.

In my little world (and to make it more fun), Nathan has 5 siblings.  Darren, Gareth, Oliver, Zoe, Harry.  They have KIDS.  Neil’s COUSINS.

Like I said in my other headcanon about Nathan’s family past, Harry the professor moves from DC to University of South Carolina to escape the talk of his brother, The Butcher of Baltimore.  The rest of the fam cut themselves off from their crazy brother.

Harry is also how the rest of the Wesninski brothers find Neil.  Of course, he’s not sure on it, but he’s an avid Exy fan, so seeing a kid with such resemblance to the Wesninski features- or what he remembers of his nephew when he was a child, to let it go unsaid.

He spams a groupchat with his siblings and demands Darren look into it.  He’s the one with the connections.

Darren almost thinks it too good to be true, but he has too big of a spark of hope to trash the idea.  He keeps tabs on Neil through the media in the meantime.  It isn’t until Nathan’s death that they get the proof they need.  Darren gets the information he needs about the boy that Nathan had in the basement that day, enough about the wounds the boy was given to match it to Neil Josten’s face the next time he was captured on the media.

Zoe sets it up.  There are quite a number of cousins on the Wesninski side, and Gareth and Darren look too much like Nathan to be able to confront Neil without him running away. 

The cousins and their ages:

Darren: Adam 35, Evan 30.

Gareth: Cordelia 30, Brian 27.

Oliver: Patrik 25, Natalia 22, Rhys 18.

Nathan: Nathaniel 18.

Zoe: Cedric 20, Morgan 19.

Harry: Vince 17, Emma & Lena 16.

Rhys and Cedric are the first to volunteer talking to their newfound cousin.  Rhys remembers the one and only time he visited his uncle Nathan.  Their parents dismissed them to go play, so he spent the afternoon climbing trees and running around with Nathaniel.  Cedric didn’t remember Nathaniel, but his so-called cousin was friends and teammates with Kevin Day?  No way in hell was he missing out.

It takes weeks for them to plan it out, to get the cousins down to Palmetto.  Their parents all sit them down before they go and tell them wtf is up bc they know damn well that they only have one chance to do it right or else they’ll lose Nathaniel forever.

All of the cousins go to Palmetto, but the only ones that are there to greet him outside of Fox Tower are Rhys, Natalia, and Adam.

They wait for an hour before Neil finally shows up with Andrew, Nicky, and Matt in tow.  He freezes the second he sees them standing at the curb.  Andrew stops behind him, but Matt’s the one to ask if he’s okay.  Neil doesn’t know how to explain that he knows those three faces, though he can’t remember where from and why.

Rhys grins and stands straight.  “Nathaniel!”  he waves, to which Neil rightfully flinches at and starts taking steps back until he stumbles into Andrew.  Natalia elbows Rhys with a stern glare and gives Neil a sorry smile.  “We come in peace- sorry, that sounds stupid- we’re your couisns, Neil.  I’m Natalia, that’s Rhys, Adam.”

And woah is Neil confused.  He doesn’t realize he’s breathing faster until Andrew fastens a hand on the back of his neck.  “I-I don’t.”

“Neil,” Adam says.  “We don’t mean to cause you trouble.  I noticed you looked familiar when I saw Kathy’s show back in the fall, my uncle-” he stopped when Neil’s face bottomed “Harry!  My uncle Harry- not Nathan.  None of us have been in contact with him since you were a kid, I swear, I-” and he looks troubled.  “Fuck.  Um, look, can we just… can we talk?  We can talk about anything, anywhere.  We haven’t seen you since you were like five, man, and I’m fucking thirty-five.  Hell, I changed your diaper before our families cut ties with Nathan.”

Matt looks between them, but Nicky’s the one to speak.  “Neil, I know family is a load of shit?  But I mean… shouldn’t you at least hear them out?  You have cousins you didn’t even know about!”

“They’re Wesninski’s.” Neil is not a happy camper, but Rhys is unphased.  “Technically only half.”

And Neil almost gets right back in the car if not for Andrew staring him down and raising a single brow.  He painfully agrees to let them talk, but if he doesn’t like it then they agree to never bother him again.  Natalia does all of the talking and gives him the rundown on their family’s past, the good bad and ugly, just like her father recited to her.  Matt found himself thinking that she talked a lot like Neil.  She kind of looked like him too.  Her hair had more of a red tone than his had, almost looked fake.

When she's done, though, and all of Neil’s questions are answered, Rhys nearly hugs him.  If not for Andrew’s piercing stare, he probably would have.  “Man, the others are gonna be so excited to meet you, Neil.”

“Others?”

Adam cuts in when Rhys starts stammering.  Was he not supposed to tell him?  “There are thirteen of us, fourteen counting you.  They’re all back at a hotel ten minutes from here.  No parents.  Nathan took his looks after my dad and uncle Gareth, we all figured it’d be better to leave them out of the powwow for now.”  Neil wanted to vomit, but he didn’t say anything, so Adam just went on.  “There’s me, Evan, Cordelia, Brian, Patrik, Natalia, Rhys, Cedric, Morgan, Vince, and the twins.”

“Twins?!”  Nicky let out a squeal.  Rhys shrugs. “It runs in the family.”

Neil didn’t notice how hard he was breathing, but all of a sudden it caught up with him.  Natalia somehow isn’t surprised when he books it to the closest bush.  Andrew levels them all with a cool look and follows his idiot across the parking lot.

Neil wipes his face with his shirt and drops his head into his knees.  Andrew digs a hand into his hair.  “Say the words and they’re gone.”

But Neil’s shaking his head with his eyes squeezed shut because it’s not that.  It’s just overwhelming.  He doubts he’ll talk to them after this meeting, but he had this little thing in the back of his head tugging him to find out everything about them.  He can’t deal with another Wesninski like his father.  He’ll go with all of the Foxes in tow for safety, he doesn’t care, but he will not go the rest of his life in the unknown about these people who claim to be his family.

So Neil goes back to the three cousins with a blank face as he subtly avoids their eyes.  “I’ll meet them all, but I’m bringing my people, and only if it’s at the Exy stadium.”

part two three

#neil josten #neils extended family #i had too much fun with this #aftg headcanon #neil josten headcanon #andrew minyard #matt boyd #nicky hemmick #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #the foxes #palmetto state university #palmetto state #nathan wesninski #nathaniel wesninski #trk #tkm #foxes #exy

[frauleinfunf]

My dumb headcanons about Mrs. Levin and her side of the family

Bc I cannot stop myself and love thinking way too much about Kevin's family tree bc that's how I express my love for characters

-Deborah Rifka Rozowski was born in 1969 at Kings County Hospital

-She has an older sister named Nancy, whom she's thick as thieves with

-Their father was a very physically abusive parent and their mother had untreated postpartum depression that led to her attempting suicide several times during their childhoods

-Their father had threatened to put her in an institution more than once in front of them

-In addition to a rough home life, she grew up in Brooklyn during the Son of Sam killings, the 1977 blackout, and later the crack epidemic. So it's safe to say she survived by being tough and street smart.

-Deb also had a deep of love of books and writing. It started as a form of escapism, but also became an outlet for her to express her feelings in ways that weren't picking fights

-At 16, Deb's father kicked her out. Nancy immediately put her up at her apartment with her husband Ira, but Deb ended up leaving in the middle of the night. Nancy was already heavily pregnant and Deb didn't want to feel like a burden, but also just wanted to leave Brooklyn and New York and get as far away from her current life as much as possible. Of course being a teenager, she assumed this meant she had to cut ties with her mother and sister.

-Deb wandered for the next few years, hitchhiking her way across the country and making money through odd jobs, mostly pick pocketing and mugging people though.

-At 19, she was in a city just outside of LA called Bellwood, where she ended up trying to mug Devin Levin

-Devin Levin was a hard simper and ended up asking her out after disarming her.

-Devin helped her find a job and an apartment, and soon they start a relationship, marking the first time Deb had ever felt like her life was stable and happy.

-Devin eventually convinced Deb to reach out to her sister, who still had her old phone number (Deb was not expecting that when she agreed to give her a call). After yelling at her for having Nancy worried sick for years, she broke down crying so happy to know Deb was alive and well.

-Nancy did have to be the one to tell Deb that their mother died from suicide a year after she left.

-Deb, while still obviously upset, had kind of assumed that happened in the intervening years.

-Nancy stopped speaking to their father after their mom died, and Deb sure wasn't eager to start talking to him again. So at this point their family was just them and Nancy's husband and kids.

-Deb became a mom at 23 and married Devin at a courthouse while she was pregnant. Their honeymoon was a weekend getaway to Santa Barbara.

-Nancy flew out to California with her husband and now three kids in tow to stand witness for the wedding, and she flew back alone a few months later to meet her nephew and help Deb settle into being a new mom.

-Kevin was 2 when Devin died and Deb just kind of spiraled from there, starting to drink while she sat shiva for him.

-Deb moved back to New York to be closer to her sister again. Nancy and her family were living Yonkers at that point so that's were Deb found a place for her and Kevin.

-In addition to her grief and addiction, Deb's life was not made easier by the fact that she found herself having to work two jobs to keep a roof over their heads and having to leave Kevin with Nancy for most of the day.

-She showed up to her waitress job drunk and her boss scrambled to find someone to take take her home. A trucker named Harvey Hackett who was at the diner for a union meeting volunteered.

-Harvey came by the next day to check on her, and that's how their relationship started.

-Harvey signed her up for AA meetings and, once Deb was sober enough, started teaching her how to drive a truck.

-Deb may not have loved Harvey in the way she loved Devin, she never could've loved anyone like that again. But he was a good man who wanted to take care of her and Kevin, and at that point that was all she wanted.

-They got married when Kevin was 4 and as we know that ended up being the worst decision of Deb's life.

-Meanwhile, things in Kevin's life weren't all that great, even before Harvey started to fear him.

-Nancy's kids (Amanda, who was 7 years older than Kevin, Mikey who was 5 years older, and Josh who was 2 years older) did not adjust well to an aunt they only met once and her kid all of a sudden coming back into their lives, and in addition to that their mom was now practically raising their cousin alongside them.

-It certainly didn't help that Nancy almost immediately started including Kevin whenever she called her kids her munchkins, and even called him Kevala the way she called them Amala, Mikala, and Joshala.

-So already they were inclined to ostracize Kevin, and that only got worse once his powers started developing and regularly short circuiting their electronics.

-Things came to a head when Kevin one day followed them to their treehouse and Amanda pretended she was going to push him out, scaring him enough that he unintentionally shocked her and left a third degree burn.

-Nancy and Deb, after a long talk with a lot yelling and crying and cheesecake, decided it would be safest for Kevin if Deb found other babysitters, which she could now afford with her and Harvey being unionized truckers.

-Nancy was absolutely heartbroken about this and cried on her last day watching him. Amanda, still mad about her burn, convinced Kevin that Nancy was crying because she thought Kevin was a freak just as much as the kids did.

-Until he ran away, Kevin ended up having a long, long list of babysitters who were all scared off by his powers at one point or another.

-Eventually Harvey and Deb started working their schedules so that at least one would be home all the time, meaning they started to see each other much less.

-While Deb and Nancy understood that Kevin's power outbursts were something he couldn't control and completely tied to his emotional state, Harvey did not.

-It didn't help that Harvey and Deb had very different parenting styles in general, with Harvey believing Deb was too permissive and Deb believing Harvey's approach was "totalitarian dogshit"

-So whenever Deb was home Kevin, while still struggling, was a lot more happy and behaved than when Harvey was the one who was home.

-A lot of Kevin's acting out was him being a kid who's stepfather feared him and him obviously not having the tools to deal with that since he was like 7.

-The rare time Deb and Harvey had together was often spent fighting about parenting, and Kevin just came to hate Harvey's presence in general, especially with Amanda's words still in the back of his head after all these years.

-On that fateful day when Kevin accidentally destroyed the house, Harvey just completely lost it.

-He said Kevin's mother suffered so much because of him, because of the pressure of having a freak son.

-This, combined with his experience with Amanda, is what convinced Kevin that his mother was going to reject him.

-After Kevin ran away, Deb and Nancy's family searched everywhere for him. Now faced with the prospect of never seeing him again, the now teenaged Amanda, Mikey, and Josh were certainly feeling a lot of guilt for how they treated him as kids and how much they tried to ignore what they did as they got older.

-Harvey and Deb's divorce was very messy, to put it mildely

-Harvey, a smart man, moved to the other side of the country just to avoid Nancy and Ira, whom he now feared even more than Deb. With Deb, he had hurt her baby. With Nancy, he had hurt her baby AND her baby sister.

-Once Kevin reunited with Deb, he reunited with Nancy. He still has no contact with his cousins though.

-Why Harvey was chosen to be the one to talk Ultimate Kevin down instead of Deb or Nancy is a mystery only God knows.

#ben 10 #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 ultimate alien #kevin levin #i just have a lot of feelings about this woman who's only had three lines in the entire franchise okay #and kevin but i think that goes without saying at this point if you just look at my blog #this is also very long bc this is what i think about when customers are yelling at me about their phone not working #which means i'm always thinking about this

[im-gettingby]

30 Days of Carry On

posted (and written by?) @captain-aralias

(I’m doing most of these at once because I said so. it’s long so under the cut)

1. Favourite major character

I literally thought — Simon no Baz no Penny no, Agatha!

I guess I will pick Simon, since I relate to him the most — or at least, my connection to him led me into the fandom.

2. Favourite minor character

I think we all know this one 🐑🐑🐑

I have written many a treatise on Lamb Rights. I’ll spare everyone now

3. Character you relate to the most

Oops— I already answered this, kinda. I relate to them in different ways: I relate a lot to WS Simon because he has abandonment issues and “kid who was told he was extraordinary and then grew up to be ordinary” issues. We also both have a “fix all the things for everyone” complex, too.

Baz — It took me a while to get into Baz’s head, but I would say, I relate to him because of his intense emotional world and tendency to see the world through an intensely romantic/tragic lens. But also he’s a Pisces. and I’d never do that like a Pisces does. (Sorry, not sorry.)

4. Which character would you like to go to lunch with?

SHEPARD obviously. I don’t feel the need to elaborate.

5. Favourite non-Snowbaz ship

Ooh! Probably Lamb/Baz or Simon/Shep or just...literally anything. Like, I will read anything as long as it’s well written. The weirder the better. (Within...legal and moral limits.) in my other fandoms I’ve been a big multishipper and there’s not a lot of options for that in CO - which is fine - but wholeheartedly support rarepairs :D

6. Favourite non-romantic OTP

So, obviously Simon/Penny and Baz/Penny are great ones, but I think the nearest & dearest to my heart is Simon/Agatha. The kind of siblings/unwillingly dating/weird exes dynamic and the way they both shaped each other’s lives is just so interesting. And while Simon & Penny are closer, Agatha and Simon represent their aspirational selves to one another. And the way that they were both tied to one another along with their gender roles/places in society and both broke away at the same time is just...mwah

7. Favourite Baz outfit

I honestly dress kinda like Baz. Anything involving a printed silk shirt or a floral brocade suit, so like, all of them? I love WS Baz, his fashion sense is so thoughtful yet fun. He’s so expressive with it — in the sense of both being guarded, being sexy, and playing with masculinity/femininity.

8. How do you feel about Wayward Son?

In case it wasn’t obvious, I absolutely love it. I mean, from a writing/narrative standpoint, I don’t think it’s the most elegant or engaging book ever written, but it’s just so raw and fresh. I don’t see many examples of an author trying to do what Rainbow did, which is build a complex emotional AND plot-driven story with so many characters and so much lore. I’m very excited for AWTWB.

9. Favourite scene from Carry On, besides Chapter 61

I like what the book does/sets up overall. Honestly probably the first scene, where Simon walks to the bus stop & takes the train and just thinks about his life and makes lists -- I love Simon. I know Rainbow said she thinks that bit is boring, but it honestly says so much about his character in a short time. (and he’s an extremely complex character!) Also, Baz’s dramatic entrance. Also, the chapter where Baz says “and I’m hopelessly in love with him” because it’s just so dramatic, and it comes out of nowhere

10. Favourite scene from Wayward Son, besides Chapter 41

Baz and Lamb’s journey across the Strip - vampire lore, jealous Simon, Baz getting to be his own character— it’s beautiful.

11. Remind us about something in canon readers might have forgotten about

Ahahaha um. Simon says he thinks Baz’s cousin Marcus is fit. That’s pretty funny.

12. What are your hopes and fears for Any Way the Wind Blows?

I don’t have any hopes because I don’t want to be disappointed - and that’s not a cynical thing, I just want to go into it with an open mind. (I’ll take a break from fandom and reread the books beforehand so I’m (more of) a blank slate) I guess just...interesting emotional journeys, whatever that ends up being. There’s a lot that Rainbow has to do in the book and I don’t think any one person could get through all of it -- that’s why we have fanfiction.

Fears? I don’t know. I think just...the series ending. Even though I’ve been in fandom for less than a year I just really love this fandom & the thought of that kind of eroding away is sad. But also I don’t think that will happen immediately, and change is a part of life. I’ve never related as much to Cath as I do now :’)

13. An unpopular/cracky opinion you hold

unpopular: Lamb is the best character; I don’t want Simon to get his magic back; both Simon and Baz should have other romantic options.

14. Something from your head fanon

Hmmmmmmm well. Just mean things about Baz really. Like that he’s weird looking, not that great at football, and actually has kind of garish fashion sense. (which is a self-roast as well - see above.) I just feel like Simon/fandom put him on a pedestal, and Simon’s an unreliable narrator re: Baz anyway. So I like the idea that Baz is this average looking kinda strange nerdy guy who is everything Simon has ever wanted in life.

And before you tell me that Baz was hot at Watford and Agatha was into him, have you ever been to a tiny boarding school? Standards get weird 😂😂😂 and Terry being into him — come on. The guy’s a violent pervert.

also - back to Watford being a tiny school. Baz doesn’t have much competition to be the star of the football team. (also, does anyone except Simon even think that he is?)

16. Favourite location other than Watford

Vegas!

17, Favourite location in Watford

I’m pretty bad at Watford lore/geography bc again, I’m way more into WS. Probably the floor in the Cloisters where everything happens the same way, just a day later. There’s a fic there, but I can’t wrap my head around all the time travel implications enough to write it.

18. What would be your favourite subject at Watford?

Any potions-esque subject because I loved chemistry lab. Latin because I loved Latin in school. Uhhhh I don’t like history class, so not that — maybe a literature course focused on the derivation of spells.

19. What would your magical implement be?

Ooh! This is a good one. I’d like to think it would be a weird body piercing. Or a belt a la Gareth. Maybe some kind of traditional south Asian jewelry, like a nose chain or mang-tikka or something. maybe a hat. like, imagine your magical instrument being a fedora and you just have to...wear a fedora all the time.

21. Favourite canon spell

Hm. Kiss it better? Candle in the wind?I should try to think of a non-horny one. honestly they’re all so cool and clever - I love the magic system in CO/WS.

22. What would your eighth year spell at Watford be or do?

Maybe something from a poem I love. That would probably be pretty but not very functional. Or a healing spell.

23. Who would you want as your roommate?

Agatha is uptight, Penny is passive aggressive, Simon is a slob, Baz is both uptight and passive aggressive.

Definitely Shepard.

24. Favourite item of merchandise, official or unofficial

My @subparselkie sticker

25. Favourite book cover design

WS. Oh, another unpopular opinion - I don’t like the kevin wada cover of carry on. their faces look so weird and the colors don’t work for me. I own the version with the blue and yellow cover art instead

26. Do you want a movie? If yes - any fan casts for the movie?

Probably wouldn’t want a movie! Because I am way too possessive of these books/this version of the story. And I am historically extremely disappointed by adaptations — I get upset with the smallest of changes 😂

27. If they made a movie, what scenes do you think they’d cut that you’d be furious were missing?

See above. A LOT haha

28. If you could ask Rainbow Rowell one question, what would it be? (If you have already, you can share if you like)

What is Lamb’s full name????? Is it actually Lamb Lambert Lamborghini the third???

What is Rainbow’s relationship with sheep and goats. Why are there so many references to them

29. Have you read any of Rainbow’s other books?

Only Fangirl

30. How did you get into Carry On and/or Carry On fandom?

I read fangirl & the pages at the end mentioned carry on, so I read that, and enjoyed it but I wasn’t obsessed. Then I read WS spring 2020, reread it a bunch of times, reread CO, freaked out about the cliffhanger/cool vampire stuff/unresolved sexual tension, had pandemic cabin fever, got on AO3, and the rest is history.

As @annabellelux knows, I wrote my first (published) fanfic after reading her amazing fic Drop The Game. and the first fanfic I read was @captain-aralias’ Greener Grass. I was so obsessed that about a month later, I searched through the AO3 tags for it, because I couldn’t remember the title or author but kept thinking about it.

#tag game #30 days of carry on

[chaosang3l]

more of me and @perfectharmony ‘s hcs for the danforth-evans/evans-mckessie families these are just random but the context for the first one is them adopting kayla *finger guns* and this time kj’s in bold😙✌️

i feel like sharpay would be like ‘taylor come on we would be the best parents’ and taylor would say ‘yeah i know but are we ready’ and then when they adopt kayla taylor is just like in love with being a parent and one night when kayla fell asleep in their bed she looks to sharpay and says ‘you were right’ and sharpay is just like ‘i know’ and in the most loving tone

ngl for some reason that thought never occurred to me about the ages not lining up lol but this makes sense! and now the thought of nick and kayla being both in the foster system before they got adopted won't leave my mind. like when did they first get into the system? like were both of them in it their entire lives or just one or did they both of them have families?? i'm very intrigued. also can you imagine ryan and chad and also sharpay and taylor being SO incredibly happy on adoption day. ALSO all of them would be pretty young when they adopt so i'm intrigued on how all of that went down. like did both couples get married young and wanted to adopt right away?? my is races with all the backstory of this family lol!

RIGHT LIKE TAYLOR WOULD BE SO HESITANT AT FIRST BECAUSE SHE DOESNT WANT TO BE A BAD PARENT AND THEN THEYRE THE BEST

also i LOVE that sharpay is the one that already knows that they'd be great parents and reassures taylor. my heart.

(this is my half assed timeline for them)

sharpay:

at 20 starts dating taylor

22 gets married(somewhere in between she books a job either acting or in a musical)

22 adopt kayla(idk the exact months don’t yell at me)

30 currently

kayla(i didn’t do taylor and chad i only did the twins lmao):

born 2004

16 currently

adopted 7-8 years old

ryan:

starts dating chad 19

22-23 graduates juilliard

gets married 24

adopts nick 25

30 now

nick:

born 2005

15 currently

adopted 10

i feel taylor is always so sure of herself and then when it comes to this she’s not and sharpay is so sure she would be an amazing mom so she has to reassure her

and i feel like chad has a big family so he was always talking about how he can’t wait to have kids or how good of a parent ryan will be and ryan will be like yes i know you’ve said it 80 times sweetheart and then when they finally have a house/apartment they talk about it one night and they’re like ‘we should start the process now’ and chad just LIGHTS UP and then four months(idk why) later they have little nick

and when sharpay first brings up kids taylor says let’s start with a cat or a dog first babe (not including boi) and then the next day taylor comes home and suddenly she sees sharpay trying to ease boi into liking the new member of their family

also idk why it never occurred to me b4 now but the thought of taylor becoming boi's second mom is everything to me lol

also i feel like the gang would have a FIELD day seeing her being all adorable with boi and she would just give them all a death glare

yeah they would all walk in to sharpays apartment and see taylor playing with boi and chad and troy would look at each other like ‘uh she hated my dogs’ kshjshdjxhxbxd

i feel like chad would go to ryan and be like 'did your sister brainwash sharpay into loving her hideous dog?" and ryan scoffs all like "please. taylor tried to refuse those literal puppy dog eyes but it only took her a second before that dog had her around its little finger. even worse than sharpay'

yeah taylor is soft for sharpay and boi

SHE IS

now i'm imaging kayla with boi

does kayla have her doggie??

of course kayla has boi and he’s like an old man dog now and he just chills with the cats

imagine kayla and nick and their parents just all in one of their living rooms and ryan, chad, taylor, and sharpay start talking about their high school days like how cute would that be🥺 and them all playing with the cats and boi omg

also kayla and nick seeing the gang after they learn all the tea from hsm like nick just being like “hello the person who my dad dated to cover his sexuality oh i meant aunt kelsi”

and kayla saying “hi gabriella *cough cough* aka the person who stole moms spot in the play” and taylor being like “kayla” through her teeth aksnsknxnxbb

the idea of nick and tori learning all the stories from hsm is amazing enough BUT THEN bringng it up to the gang in the most hilarious ways is SENDING ME

also tori saying that to gabriella aka taylor best friend IS SENDING ME

yeah she said “love you mom but i’m on moms side y’all may have thought she was the villain but mom had a point”

also troy calling nick and saying that he can't make it to his lacrosse game (he tries to go as much as he can bc he's a supportive uncle) bc of work and nick's all like "i get it. Your head's in the game but hearts in the song." And Troy grumbles like "I'm gonna kill Chad"

YES SUPPORTIVE UNCLE TROY

kayla and nick are the sassiest cousin duo around

YES THEY ARE

i just love them so much and imagining them interact with the hsm gang

yeah faith really popped off with that hc

SHE DID

heres the other two: pt.1 pt.2

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #kayla evans-mckessie #nick danforth-evans #and i just realized this is a lot shorter than the last ones sorry we just didn’t have many thoughts apparently

[tirednerd2012]

Thoughts of the night: I'm 23, when internet became normality it was probs around when I was 14. That age I was "pfft this is my DOMAIN!! I know everything! Adults are worrying for NOTHING! I know the rules and the warnings, I grew with them!!" But now, today, at my 23, I look at youngers and am "BE CAREFUL YOU DIPSHIT!!! Stop looking at pron, wtf? it's not for you!!!" This came to be bc today a family moved beside my house, I saw they're son and thought "oh probably a high schooler! he's a cutie, good for him! and wow he's taller than me!" (I'm 5'10), but NOOO they're 12!!!

The make up transformation that became even more on spotlight with tik tok are now coming naturally as they grow, I mean you see CHILDS of 12yo with the bodies of a high schoolers! And it scares the crap out of me (and I know it's the heavy chemicals, fertilizers and the stuff they feed the cattle), bc that "I'm the shit and know better than adults" mentality have one more supporter, the f*cking beauty market (and the creeps from the internet, which was always a problem and worrying abt them is already implicit as common sense, thank the gods). Worse is when the adults see them and treat them as adults as well!! LET. THEM. BE. CHILDS. ...I hate this (I'm sorry for the heavy shit, but you have great opinions and points of view so I thought I'd share with you! If this is too uncomfortable with you it's okay not to answer! It was more a "pondering of the coming times")

When you can't sleep at midnight so you reply to a very true anon message.

So my cousin and I are both 22 (well I'm going to be 22 in like 2 days so I'm claiming it). We were around when the internet started to become more popular and definitely did not always have our internet regulated. We never went too far because we both grew up in a very large home with one computer. But I wish someone had talked to me and my cousins about internet safety. Also how anyone can be anyone on the internet.

When I was 16, Insta became super popular. So did Snapchat. Of course I was on these (I still have both of my accounts) but I became very insecure looking at these beauty queens. I was a child who suddenly didn't feel comfortable in my body. I didn't know how to wear makeup and I was a very modest teenager (it was just my preference to dress modestly and I'm not trying to shame girls who don't, do what you feel comfortable with). I hated looking at my own reflection because of it. Now, it didn't help that I was also being abused by a family member at this time so I was in a very vulnerable state, but I was a literal child. I would skip meals and try things I was not comfortable with.

I still struggle with this sometimes, but I have found to love myself a lot more. This wasn't because of the Internet but rather, for me, it was finding my identity in Christ and knowing I was made in God's image that really helped me feel beautiful again.

I think it's important to let the kids in our lives know internet safety and image. I know there have been instances where my cousin and I had to step in because the internet can be a dangerous and inappropriate place and we have nieces and nephews who are very young. I don't force the conversations, but rather when the situation arises, I talked to my niece about it. She is the age I was when I stopped eating and really put my body through something I shouldn't have. And the worst part is, before that, I was actually healthy. I wasn't "skinny" but I was eating right, in my weight range and I exercised a few times a week. Physically I was in good condition but I felt that since I did have a stomach, I wasn't doing something right.

Guys, I want to stress to you how important taking care of yourself is. Please don't skip meals. Be a kid as long as you can. Wear what makes you feel comfortable and be safe on the internet. I know you think it's probably fine, but don't give your name or personal information out. Be cautious when talking to people here.

Don't let the internet and social media take away from you being a kid. Obviously you can still be on here, I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but remember to have discernment in situations you need to.

[prosopopeya]

New Year’s Meme

this survey has been a tradition among my friend group for YEARS, but i haven’t filled it out since 2015 apparently. i’m not entirely sure why except 2016 was the year a lot of stuff changed for me, namely in that i finally got out of school in some form and started a new job, but i also had a few health problems that kept plaguing me (thyroid medicine being off, vitamin d) and my anxiety was all over the place. so here we go i’m doing it again and feel free to do it too if you want!!

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? tried on wedding dresses. taught virtually. dealt (poorly) with drunk teenagers. performed in a pep rally. wore face masks all the time. i’m going to lump in living with someone. jon moved in october 2019, but i don’t think i did this quiz last year so. taught ap.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? i don’t really like resolutions. they put too much pressure on me and i am a fragile person when it comes to setting expectations and living up to them. i did want to try to read more this year, and i maintained that until the pandemic, and then just kind of gave up requiring myself to do anything but live.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? i don’t think so. a coworker did.

4. Did anyone close to you die? jon’s cousin committed suicide in march or april. the circumstances were pretty upsetting. um. andy died in february, very suddenly. andy was my high school boyfriend for four years with whom i had a very... he scarred me in a lot of ways when it comes to sex and consent. it’s taken me a long time to unpack all of that. and i struggle with how much any of that was his fault or just bc he was a stupid kid too. our mutual friends had nothing but nice things to say about him on fb. anyway. he would guilt me into saying he’d kill himself if we broke up, and jon’s cousin killed himself over his girlfriend. so that was a complex part of the year.

5. What countries did you visit? none. literally the week before the quarantine, we went to asheville to visit jon’s cousin.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? maybe a different job? or at least some peace at doing mine.

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? march 13 we cancelled classes and had a technology training day; the 15th we had another one, and then we were virtual the rest of the term. it was such a sudden shift and while i so loved working from home tbh, it was such a relief after a supremely shitty january/february work-wise, i still had a lot of keyed-up, stressful days centered around transitioning to being the senior upper school spanish teacher. i hate it!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? writing 50k in the month of november. i have literally never done that before and actively reject nano as being typically unhealthy for how my mind works, so it was nice to do it entirely by accident.

9. What was your biggest failure? mishandling the drunken teenagers on that field trip in january.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? i sit crosslegged in my virtual teaching chair and i did it so much that my ankle hurt for the entire summer.

11. What was the best thing you bought? we put a deposit on our elopement in ireland. jon’s wedding ring. (i didn’t buy my wedding dress.)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? my best friend at work who keeps me sane and is represented by benny in my au, which other than the fact that he is not my sidepiece, is perfect he is crucial to my survival at work and i love him so much. (also he is gay and the french teacher so the benny parallels just keep coming). everyone who tore down a statue in virginia (and other places, but especially monument avenue). everyone putting their lives on the line during this pandemic.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? guess! but aside from all the obvious, i found out a friend of mine at work voted for trump. my work bff and i had been trying for years to sway his politics, but that had us both deciding to give up on him.

14. Where did most of your money go?  food, ALCOHOL. god., our savings account. i did a pretty excellent job saving this year, though a good deal of that is because jon moved in and makes more money than me, and also we split all the bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my wedding dress but strangely only when i went to try it on after it came in bc after the purchase i was so sure i’d made every mistake possible. my wedding band. wellbutrin changing my whole life. and, last but certainly not least, the gay angel and the bi(lingual) hunter. i wouldn’t have survived nov-dec in school without that distraction. the election.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? the entirety of taylor swift’s oeuvre this year, maybe specifically “this is me trying”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:  i. Happier or sadder? happier, i suppose, perhaps contrary to what should be the case, but wellbutrin is a hell of a drug. ii. Older or wiser? wiser. ii. Richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? reading. cleaning. exercising.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? stressing. chaperoning.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? so, an update; last year was the first year i didn’t go to my mom’s for christmas. i was supposed to see her for thanksgiving last year, but she basically told us not to come bc she wasn’t feeling up to it (cool!), and we went to jon’s for christmas and my mom’s for new year’s. 

this year, obviously we couldn’t go to my mom’s. instead, we rented a little cabin by the lake. it was perfect; it was really really nice inside, the beds were SO SOFT, the pillows were the best things i have ever laid my head on, like i took off the pillowcases to try to find the brand. we had a little tiny christmas tree with tiny ornaments from walmart that we decorated. the 23rd, we went and picked up our wedding bands. we slept two nights in the (cold) back bedroom so i could wake up and look out at the lake. it snowed for christmas. :)

we opened presents on christmas eve, per jon’s family’s tradition. on christmas eve, we also went to his family farm and sat outside and hung out a little. every year his family does like a secret santa sort of thing and i got my first present in that exchange, which is notable bc jon and i are not yet officially married. i got a remote control car -- jon’s idea bc i couldn’t think of anything, and he was so delighted to hear that i loved playing with rc cars when we went to the beach as a kid.

christmas morning we facetimed my parents and opened some presents together. then jon and i marathoned mandalorian (after spending the previous few days watching several die hard movies), and then we watched wonder woman 1984 which was a bad movie.

21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? ok LAST year for new year’s, we were in a hotel room, so that was nice, bc it meant minimal stress with my parents. i had always wanted to go to this restaurant near us that has a special new year’s menu, so we did that. the night before or after i think we went to cheesecake factory, which was also amazing.

this year currently i’m tumbling and he’s playing pokemon, and in a bit we’ll try to time it so we finish schitt’s creek in time for the new year.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? i re-fell in love with supernatural so that was nice.

23. How many one-night stands? 0. i submit we should randomly change question 23 each year to something more relevant to any of our life experiences.

24. What was your favorite TV program? what did i even watch this year. schitt’s creek. mandalorian. i mean obviously we know supernatural. the circle. are you the one (the queer season). pose. unsolved mysteries. we’re here! perry mason. watchmen. oh maybe that mcdonald’s monopoly fraud documentary. avenue 5. i’ll be gone in the dark. of those i think my favorite maybe is... pose or we’re here.

OKAY UM. on my 2014 version of this there were a bunch of questions about tv shows that i’m putting back in if only for the memories:

25. Which TV shows did you start watching in 2020? the haunting of bly manor, which we still need to finish. derry girls.

26. Which TV shows did you let go of in 2020? HERE’S WHY I WANTED TO RESURRECT THESE. here was my answer in 2015: “supernatural. goodbye, my sweet prince.” CAN YOU EVEN FUCKING BELIEVE

27. Which TV shows did you mean to get into but didn’t in 2020? Why? so far, queen’s gambit and that one on hulu with catherine the great. EVENTUALLY. 28. Which TV shows do you intend on checking out in 2020? fleabag. queen’s gambit. 29. Which TV show do you think you might let go of in 2020 unless things significantly improve? idk i drop things pretty regularly if they don’t entertain me 30. Which TV show impressed you least in 2020? GUYS HERE’S MY ORIGINAL 2015 ANSWER: “supernatural. :(”

anyway back to the rest of the quiz:

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? every person who refuses to listen to facts and information.

26. What was the best book you read? killers of the flower moon: the osage murders and the birth of the fbi, or the his dark materials series.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? well i knew about tswift so i’m not going to count her albums. i will count this song that jon played for me once in the car that got stuck in my head for two weeks straight and led me down into a great related-songs spotify playlist: through the roof ‘n underground.

28. What did you want and get? a wedding dress and a very specific kind of wedding band. a gay angel. a christmas getaway. animal crossing.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? idk i don’t know how many films i saw this year. maybe mucho mucho amor: the legend of walter mercado

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i was 32. we went to an escape room with a BUNCH of people -- work bff, my old work bff and his wife (old bc he quit and we’ve fallen out of touch :(), the cool new physics teacher and his fiancee, and the aforementioned trump voter and his wife, before we knew... we went out for brunch/lunch after. it was pretty great!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? not having to chaperone that school trip in january. dean being bi in english as well as spanish. cas just ilke, appearing in 15x20. not having to physically go back to work this fall.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? no! real! pants!

34. What kept you sane? jon. supernatural (in a way?). animal crossing for a while. wellbutrin! i haven’t really been able to detail this yet, but finally i did something about tumblr and my therapist making me think about adhd. my doctor gave me wellbutrin (bc i lack any official diagnosis and was on anxiety meds anyway, and he was like let’s try this!) and it’s fucking. it’s a fucking godsend. surprisingly enough, my students. trying to provide them a safe space has been a calming thing for me.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? jensen ackles’ silence. misha collins again, i guess.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? the summer was so fucking intense. i guess though it was me trying to exert my influence in a responsible way with my students without trying to try to make them feel uncomfortable but then one kid was a vocally upset trump supporter after the election and i had to try to defuse that situation.

37. Who did you miss? my old work bff. several old friends that i’ve fallen out of touch with bc i have no object permanence.

38. Who was the best new person you met? people i met through the spn resurgence!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: if you manifest it in an au, it will come. no really though. maybe that expectations are only as important as i make them out to be.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: usually i have a hard time coming up with anything for this and i default to looking at my most played songs of the year. my most played song of the year received each and every one of its plays within the month of november and you can guess why. anyway see if this works

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met - the night we met, lord huron

#happy new year #annual meme

[andie-cake]

My brain is void of any questions as of right now, so this is kinda basic (sorry!) but what is one interesting fact about each of your OCs?

Oooohoho, yeah. These guys have some History, so this'll be fun. Putting this one under a cut.

Francesca "Frankie" Falkenrath

The reasoning behind her name is because I created her as the unisex protagonist of a musical idea I had when I was 15/16. I was looking at a list of gender neutral names, saw and liked the name Frankie, looked through surnames starting with "f" bc I wanted the name to be alliterative, found the surname "Falkenrath" in a list of German last names, and picked it bc it essentially means "council of falcons" which is badass as hell. By the time I made her into a non-unisex character, I'd gotten so attached to the name that I ended up keeping it.

Damien Hall

(Fair warning, a lot of this trivia is gonna be name-based) I originally came up the name "Damien Hall" for the male lead of a musical I came up with after seeing Phantom of the Opera in Cleveland when I was 14. He was an angel that guarded over a massive cemetery and used this big church bell to calm restless spirits, and he ended up falling in love with a recently orphaned girl whose singing also calmed spirits. I ended up passing the name around a lot of stories before finally using it for my favorite veterinarian boy <3

Det. Shiloh Hawthorne

Y'know how I said I originally created Frankie for a musical idea I had? Shiloh also originated from that idea. Basically, the plot would've been about Frankie being murdered, acting as the narrator while her boyfriend (then named Elliot) tried to solve her murder, on top of having her own subplot about coming to terms with her death. Helping Frankie do that would've been Shiloh, then simply known as "The Reaper". He wasn't a detective back then, he was an agent of the Grim Reaper. Also, he had a crush on Frankie, but I nixed that bc ehhhhhh... I ended up working that "used to be a Reaper in a previous draft of the story" detail into his backstory, making him a Reaper-turned-detective.

Det. Chester "Chess" Murdoch

Probably the oldest character here in terms of when I created them! I've had this dude around since I was 10-11 years old! Back then, I wanted to be an animator, and I had an idea for a cartoon called "Chess and Alfie". It was about a human detective named Chess who solved cases alongside his talking tuxedo cat Alfie. Obviously, Alfie was eventually replaced with his twin sister Abby, though that happened way later. I don't remember what his last name was back then, so I just gave him the surname Murdoch bc it sounded cool.

Det. Abigail "Abby" Murdoch

Again, I created Abby looooong after Chess, ironic considering she's the older sibling in-story. I vaguely remember writing that Chess and Alfie-era Chess had an older sister, but that was such a long time ago that I could be misremembering.

Victoria Waterford

Not the most interesting fact, but those of y'all who were here when I first introduced these characters may remember that she was originally a baker instead of a hairdresser!

Robin Barrows

Was originally the protagonist of a different story idea I once had called "Trackside Town", about a girl trying to find her abducted parents in a mysterious, run-down city inhabited by monsters. Their last name was "O'Malley" back then, I ended up changing it to "Barrows" because I had the Clock Tower series of games on the brain at the time.

Xavier Lewis-Hall

He came about a bit later than some of the other characters. Like, pre-Mary Ann and Lucille, but still sometime after the original 8. I'd been requesting asks abt my then-recently-introduced-to-tumblr characters, and somebody (I believe it was @cutter-kirby ?) sent in an ask about which of my characters would tell/fall for the updog joke. I mentioned that Damien would tell it to "one of his kid cousins". Then I came up with the name "Xavier" for the oldest of said kid cousins for a post about how Frankie and Damien met, and I ended up liking him so much that I made him a fully-fledged character.

Jason Fitzpatrick

His name was originally "Freddie Fitzpatrick", and he was the husband of the main character of another musical idea I had (of which there were clearly a lot), simply entitled "Claire". Unlike the Jason we know now, Freddie was a sweetheart who loved his wife a whole lot. After reusing the "Fitzpatrick" name for this story, I changed his first name to "Jason" bc that was the name of one of my bullies in my last year of public school. Also bonus fact, I'm pretty sure that "Claire" musical is indirectly the reason I ended up dream-casting Lauren Lopez as Frankie, because I had also dream-casted the titular character of Claire as Lauren. Once I ditched the Claire idea, I ended up merging a lot of her character into Frankie, so uh,,, yeah,,,

Christina Baxter

...I honestly don't have much in the way of facts about her. Oops.

Skylar Fitzpatrick

His "seeing and talking to ghosts" thing was originally part of Robin's character. Skylar was created to flesh out Jason a bit more, and I gave him the seer traits instead bc I needed a way to justify his presence in the story. Though admittedly, his existence has had me struggling to figure out Robin's role in the story for ages now.

Hunter Luzzatto

Hunter's an odd case bc he technically has two different origins. His name came from the Trackside Town story that Robin was originally from, but the character concept (originally named Parker) came from an early draft of Frankie and Shiloh's origin (then called "Who Killed Frankie Falkenrath?"). I had an idea where the band of that show would also be characters in the show, and proto-Hunter was the guitarist of the band. He was a lot less antagonistic then, being more of an active ally to Frankie and proto-Shiloh.

Mary Ann Fleisher

So, you remember how I named Paul and Emma's landlord in DTfiles "Ernie Fleischer"? Believe it or not, Ernie was created a few months before Mary Ann. I just used a different spelling of his last name for Mary Ann bc hey why not?

Lucille Dagwood

Fun little trivia for you HoHF fans, her first name was originally "Harriet". I changed it bc I already had a ghost character with an H name, and I'd already long since established Hunter's character at that point. I decided I'd rather change the name of this new character than the one of an already established character.

#t(u)doff

[a-very-fond-farewell]

Wen Yuan and the Prisoner of Koi Tower

*

the only HP!au I will consider for mdzs is the one where WWX acts as Sirius and LWJ as Remus.

also Cloud Recesses already acts as a magical school of sorts so I would not go as far as plant the entire cast in England, but a modern Chinese setting would be a very nice touch and will allow many writers to play around with both pieces of media imo.

my take would be:

*

- WWX has escaped a secret and hidden magical prison 13 years after protecting the remaining Wens from facing justice after the entire Sect had been accused of being a threat to the laws protecting the cultivation world.

- while some of the Wens (Wen RuoHan and his sons) had actively tried to oppose the allicance by messing with commoners and revealing themselves to the non-cultivation world, other Wens were completely innocent and yet they were still persecuted after the war (Sunshot Campaign) that had exterminated the rest of their Sect.

- WWX sacrificed himself by pretending to be completely unable to control his demonic cultivation and causing the explosion of resentful energy that destroyed the Burial Mounds (the Wen Remains’ hideout), turning the lush forest in a wasteland. the magical barrier dividing the premise and the non-cultivation world was compromised and WWX was accused of having sided with the Wen-dogs to jeopardize the anonymity of the cultivation world.

- by attracting all the attention on himself and destroying their hideout, WWX convinced everyone he accidentally killed the Wen Remains to allow them to escape. with the barrier growing weaker, the Wens slipped into the shadows of the non-cultivation world and pretended to be commoners for the time being.

*

- Wen Yuan (i assume he would not have a courtesy name if he were to live outside of the modern!cultivation-world, before enrolling in school) has lived 13 years in modern!Yiling with Wen Ning and he’s now 16 under a different name (idk what name, but they certainly don’t plan to be sought out by announcing the world they are called Wen). they live pretending to be commoners and can only rarely see Wen Qing, who was able to work at the “magical school” as a physician only bc the headmaster Lan QiRen is more interested in her talent than her last name.

- Wen Ning and Wen Qing decided not to reveal their little cousin about the happenings of 13 years ago. when they tried to step into the common world the first time after the explosion, A-Yuan had slipped from their grasp and they didn’t know where he had disappeared to (imagine the mishaps of the Floo Network and such or when someone disappararates). A-Yuan, “splinched” and feverish with no memories of his past, was found by LWJ who brought him back to the Wen siblings and helped their entire clan to disappear from the radar.

- upon discovering A-Yuan had, in fact, a golden core at 10/11 years old (although I would also like to see him enrolling in school at 8 or 9 tbh), LWJ offers to pay for his education but asks the Wen siblings not to reveal his identity as a benefactor. so A-Yuan only knows someone in the Lan Sect saw potential in him and... offered him a scholarship? I guess?

*

- he enrolls under the name Lan SiZhui and tries to find out more as he grows and learns. his suspicions fall on LXC at first, because he’s very kind and pleasant to talk to and he frequently visits the school even though he’s not a teacher. then he suspects LQR or one of the elders to be his benefactor. but when he enters the third year and he’s finally allowed to study with the Qin Language Master (either that or an Array Master or even Spellwork Master, you choose) LWJ... A-Yuan knows.

- so A-Yuan spends roughly two years trying to crack LWJ’s exterior... but it’s actually easy bc LWJ is very fond of him. yet, the elusive teacher doesn’t even try to talk about WWX with him. nobody does. Wen Qing looks after A-Yuan while he’s at school, but they have to pretend they don’t know each other: all the school staff knows she’s a Wen but none of the students have a suspect; if their families were to discover this fact, they would take the children away from the school in retaliation against LQR for having betrayed the alliance by protecting a Wen.

- A-Yuan spends a lot of time with her anyway, sharing meals and gossip in the medical wing late at night. he also tries to injure himself at times during night hunts so that he can meet with her and be scolded by her. it is a delicate balance and a dangerous game they’re playing, but only LWJ knows about it. not even LQR is aware that A-Yuan is a Wen: he trusted his nephew when LWJ told him he found a promising child to bring to the cultivation world and he trusted him.

- Lan JingYi was also “found” in a similar way and he adopted the Lan name and lives with LXC during the summer bc he doesn’t have a family. OuYang ZiZhen is one of the few representing his Sect while Jin Ling leads the way for his Sect and its many members. Jin Ling tries to be a rival to A-Yuan so bad (just bc A-Yuan seems perfect, not bc he’s a Wen. only Lan JingYi knows about that) but they end up being friends.

*

- Jiang FengMian leads Yunmeng as a Sect Leader while Madam Yu teaches how to wield spiritual weapons. JC was born without a golden core, but WWX sacrificed it for him with a forbidden spell and developed demonic cultivation to balance the absence of his core. LQR saw potential in him and offered him an opportunity to form another golden core... but his attempts failed miserably and WWX graduated following the demonic path before studying to become a teacher himself to explore other cultivation methods.

- Jin GuangShan’s alive and kicking [*cough*sons from staircases*cough*] at the top of Lanling and three of his bastards kids are teachers: JGY, MXY, and Qin Su.

- Nie MingJue rules over Qinghe and sent Nie ZongHui as a teacher and protector of the students from their Sects. Nie HuaiSang visits sometimes to discuss Sect matters with him

- LQR’s older brother is the head of Gusu and only LWJ is a teacher, taking his mother’s place (I envision his mother as an outcasts of sorts, similarly to Trelawney, but less............you know. we still love a cryptid woman in this house tho. basically she was kept away bc she knew too much and went mad with the knowledge she held and vowed to never speak again or something + also I like the idea of LWJ teaching in a secluded place. not necessarily a tower, but I remember Lupin’s office to be quite fetching nonetheless and the Jinghi can still keep all of its minimalist furniture and still be cooler than anything else ever existing in-universe).

*

- when WWX escapes from prison, the first thing he wants is to find the Wens. the teachers think he’s after Wen Qing and they make sure to destroy every corpse surrounding the school so that WWX cannot summon them. night-hunting is put on hold for the entire year (which would be a parallel with quidditch championship being shut down... also sports being put on hold bc of an emergency sounds oddly familiar...)

- JC still has his brother’s dizi, protected under spells in one of his mother’s cabinets at the school... but Jin Ling is a silly boy and wants to prove to his friends that he knows that his grandma Madam Yu is hiding something important in her office. so during a late exploration night after curfew, the juniors find the cabinet, take the dizi to inspect it and flee the corridors. Madam Yu finds them first, but LWJ defends them and feign ignorance when the woman demands to be the one punishing them. LWJ then asks Jin Ling to give him the dizi and the boy begrudgingly does as the teacher says.

*

- people start disappearing soon after. one by one, people from MoLing and Baling from the school staff vanish into thin air, then it’s the Jin and Jiang’s turn. By the time LXC disappears as well, LWJ gets worried but he trusts his brother.

- Jin GuangShan’s however, after his younger son’s disappearance, point his finger against the Nie Sect and its dangerous method of cultivation: why nobody of the Nie Sect had disappeared? the culprit must be one of theirs! and if MXY cannot be found, then the Jin Sect will demand reparations from Nie MingJue himself... with his life.

- when the dizi disappears from LWJ’s office, JGY suggests the Yiling Patriarch has finally made his way inside the school and that maybe he’s after the disappearance of so many cultivators and students. then, when the dizi is found among Wen Qing’s possessions, LQR expels her from the school to save himself (?) and his Sect from being accused of shielding someone hiding the Yiling Patriarch... but she is able to snatch the dizi and flee, promising A-Yuan to be back for him when nobody is watching.

*

- ...nobody aside from Jin Ling, who sees Wen Qing embracing “A-Yuan” one last time. the heir of LanLing demands an explanation from his best friend, asking him why that woman had called him with a different name and why was he talking with such familiarity to a Wen dog even though he knew what the Wens had done to his family. how JZX, his father, had died because of a Wen and how his mother had died because of WWX. on top of that, if Wen Qing was really helping WWX, then it was still a Wen’s fault if his uncle MXY was now missing!

- feeling betrayed, Jin Ling disappears on his own volition and Jin GuangShan accuses the Yiling Patriarch of having abducted even his grandson now. the rest of the juniors look for Jin Ling and they travel into the night until they find a lead: JC, apparently, has found a way to lure WWX out by calling the sword-spirit Suibian through his lend-me-down version of a golden core. feeling someone “pulling” him in, WWX was certainly bound to come back and meet with the heir of YunmengJiang , right? (is this the equivalent of the Patronus thingie? maybe not?)

- the juniors figure out that Jin Ling would follow his uncle JC and so they follow the man as well. they end up where everything started, in the Burial Mounds. but Jin Ling has arrived there even before his own uncle. the juniors see WWX holding an unconscious Jin Ling in his arms when JC arrives wielding Sandu. they duel and in the cave there are a lot of ancient corpses WWX can order around with his dizi. JC is close to have the upper hand... when LWJ enters the cave and knocks JC to one of the walls in WWX’s defense.

- [just like in the movie, I would like the narration to be hinting at LWJ having helped WWX all along. even if there were to be POV from LWJ’s part up until this moment, I would still not let it show he’s still in love with WWX. (eg: is he were to look at an old photo with WWX, maybe LWJ’s POV would show him tossing the picture aside and A-Yuan would accidentally see the scene and the POV would switch... so the kid would assume LWJ had beef with WWX instead)]

*

- A-Yuan, who up until then has never had any reason to think of WWX as anything but a menace to the cultivation world, feels winded. why does his mentor, his father figure, his benefactor... side with a criminal? and why does WWX have the dizi? did Qing-Jie really give it to him? but wasn’t she framed? the dizi must have been planted in her closet when they found it... right?

- LWJ tries to explain that WWX was not behind the disappearances. and that Wen Qing had not taken the dizi from LWJ’s office: Nie ZongHui had. After so many people disappeared, after Jin GuangShan’s accusations against the Nie Sect, Nie ZongHui panicked and wanted to protect his Sect. and since he knew LWJ was hiding something... since he knew how LWJ and WWX were close during their youth... he snooped around until he found the dizi and planted it on the only person every teacher was suspicious of: Wen Qing.

- Wen Qing, after being framed, seeks out WWX and helps him hide in the Burial Mounds, taking down the barriers the cultivation world has set around the area. she then sent a message to LWJ telling him that JC was being lured as well by WWX into the cave to talk... but that Jin Ling had attacked first.

- tired and still incredulous about being finally, finally free, WWX himself explains the truth about the Wen Remains and what he had done to save them. LWJ holds him tight as the other explains that he cannot use resentful energy as he used to and that -when he had tried to protect himself from Jin Ling’s attacks using the dizi- his first attempt had knocked down the kid. JC had found him at the worst possible moment, really.

- but then... who was behind the disappearances? then appears Su She. who had followed the juniors pretending to be invested in their well-being.

*

- the first cultivators to disappear were from MoLing after all, but not because they were abducted... but because they were the one abducting people to begin with. leaving out cultivators from the Nie Sect had been done only to satisfy Jin GuangShan’s request to find Nie MingJue at fault: the man’s only sin being that he would have never voted in favor of Jin GuangShan for the position of Chief Cultivator (something like the Minister of Magic, I suppose??) wishing to get more power for his Sect, Su She accepted to give an opening for Jin GuangShan’s plan... after being ordered as much by JGY.

- JGY... who had been very quick to “suggest” WWX was behind the disappearances after finding out the dizi Madam Yu and LWJ were hiding had disappeared.

- LWJ duels with Su She, but eventually has to take a step back after the other uses a transportation talisman and disappears himself. if they let him go he will tell everyone that WWX is back, that LWJ is with him and they they both took JC and the juniors as hostages. a siege will be called upon them and they need to flee ASAP.

*

- WWX takes them to Wen Ning’s and A-Yuan is really confused. if it’s true that WWX helped the Wen Remains, then it’s probably right to assume that WWX and Wen Ning were friends... but why did that never occur to him? why neither Wen Qing nor her brother told him anything??

- Wen Ning cries of happiness upon seeing WWX and they embrace for a long time. Wen Qing is there and has put barriers around their apartment in Yiling to protect them from being found. there are spirits (invisible to the commoners) lurking around and flying in the sky, prodding at every window and door. A-Yuan looks out for danger close to the widows, trying to find a solution... and also as a way to stay away from his family for a bit as he tries to figure the truth out all on his own.

- however, he cannot help himself from listening in on what is being told, not with Lan JingYi asking a million questions per minute to an exhausted Yiling Patriarch. Jin Ling and JC are still unconscious on the sofa and A-Yuan holds his friend’s hand by the window for comfort -more for himself than for the other boy- when he learns that Wen Ning defended WWX by accidentally killing Jin Ling’s father JZX 13 years back. and then how, in one last attempt to save her own step-brother, even Jiang YanLi had died in the explosion that should have destroyed Burial Mounds completely.

- WWX had seen her only at the very last minute, dragging her body over to the mostly ruined cave before he could lose his senses to prevent her to turn into a vengeful corpse. to preserve her body until other Sects could arrive. he had truly no idea his sister wanted to talk to him and he accepted to go to prison for it.

- (JC had been the one to find his sister’s corpse and WWX’s unconscious body in the cave 13 years ago. he cried and took both of them back. after his sister and brother-in-law’s funeral, soon after WWX’s incarceration, JC revealed his mother he had found the dizi. she decided to hide it in the school, where nobody could have found it, all to prevent the rise of another demonic cultivator. WWX’s sword was believed to have been destroyed in the explosion... only JC can feel its existence through his lend-me-down golden core. but he doesn’t reveal this to anyone.)

- WWX reveals he should have been brought to the “magical prison” (maybe on Phoenix Mountain?) but he was instead trapped within the dungeons of Koi Tower, the ancient residence belonging to Jin Ling’s family. Jin Ling had spent most of his life there... unaware that his uncle WWX was there.

- WWX also tells them that someone helped him run away, a man younger than him that used to keep him company in the shadows, listening to his stories. someone who brought Suibian back to him... even if he would not be able to wield it without a golden core (he tried in school under LQR’s tutelage a la “Legilimens lessons” you feel me?).

- WWX has met with this person for a long time, even if he cannot be sure how many years exactly. maybe five or less. still, he would like to find this person and repay him in kindness, even if he doesn’t know what his name is. when asked to describe him, WWX tells them his eyes had been shut close all along with talismans and that he would be able to recognize the man only by voice alone.

- Jin Ling is awake by the time the story ends and squeezes A-Yuan’s hand back. they both discovered horrible things about their families and they can barely share a glance between them before they start silently crying. LWJ notices and steps in to try to comfort them... but Jin Ling asks him why he helped WWX instead. demanding to know if he helped him 13 years ago in destroying his family as well.

*

- LWJ only looks back at WWX and smiles as he shakes his head. then the two of them reveal they had lived together for a while in secret before the fallout. they even got married without anyone but Wen Ning and Wen Qing knowing, just right after the war (Sunshot Campaign)... before WWX’s control over the resentful energy grew unstable and he had to flee to prevent LWJ to be caught in the aftermath of his actions.

- WWX pretended he didn’t love LWJ anymore and asked to be left alone. heartbroken but still mindful of the other’s boundaries, LWJ thought he didn’t have any right to control WWX and let him go. in the following year or two, WWX found a home with the Wen Remains and defended them until the end.

- LWJ had tried to defend them from the hatred festering the cultivation world from within... but treaded maybe too carefully in the attempt not to disrespect his father and the elders of his family.

- when the Burial Mounds exploded, LWJ disappeared to help the Wens find new homes instead of lending his hand in containing the magical power from spilling over into the non-cultivation world. this was seen as an insult from his family’s standpoint and he was forced into seclusion for years. so while WWX was trapped in a jail covered in suppression talismans, LWJ had been forced into a prison of his own, in a freezing cave where he had to focus all of his attention on developing his cultivation in order to survive such temperatures.

- this led both of them to develop a trauma they don’t know if they will ever be able to overcome, unless they learn to live with its consequences one step at a time. during seclusion, LWJ figured that WWX had lied to him, but that he had been too in love and to young to see the truth at the time. so after he left seclusion he looked once more for A-Yuan, who WWX had loved like a son, and was willing to adopt him... but the child already had a family and it would have been cruel to separate him from them.

- that was why he offered to pay for his studies and never wanted to be found out... but A-Yuan was too smart not to find out and so LWJ allowed himself to hope for a future when he could tell the boy the truth. he wouldn’t dare to hope for WWX to ever leave prison, but he could still dream to see him again.

- at the end of the touching story, JC punches LWJ square on the jaw. he was still weak and couldn’t handle the dizziness, but he had listened to everything and now is furious with LWJ. he demands to know why he didn’t tell anyone WWX and him were married; why he thought possible that such a lovelorn idiot like JC’s brother could ever not be in love with LWJ after obsessing over him for the entirety of their academic career. JC and the entire Yunmeng would have helped them! JC would have even convinced Madam Yu to wield Zidian to protect them and the Wens if necessary! why did they have to do everything by themselves?!

- WWX finally sits close to his brother and lets him punch his chest and arms as much as he wants, until the younger man collapses back on the sofa, exhausted. A-Yuan observes all of this and yet he cannot understand: he doesn’t remember WWX at all, nor to have ever lived in Burial Mounds. he will not trust WWX until he finds out the truth by himself.

- Wen Qing, ever so practical, reminds them they have the entire cultivation world breathing on their necks and that no amount of family drama will save them from execution if they keep hiding doing nothing. that’s when LWJ receives a spiritual butterfly (this is the Patronus thingie! I guess??) from his brother LXC: the butterflies goes under the radar and slips inside the barriers set by Wen Qing easily; it says that “Nie MingJue is innocent and that JGY is helping them”.

- none of them could see how that’s possible, since it was JGY the one ordering Su She to kidnap all of those people just to give Jin GuangShan an opportunity to mess with the Nie Sect. yet, LWJ trusts his brother and decides to send another spiritual butterfly in response, asking where they should meet with LXC.

*  

- while they wait, they eat and try to get along. the Wen siblings distract the kids while WWX and LWJ talk by themselves for a while. they need some alone time and they move to the guest bedroom to figure things out (i doubt they would go for the papapa after all that distance, longing, exhaustion and touch-starvation... especially because last time they saw each other WWX told LWJ he didn’t love him anymore. but... you know.... they did miss each other a lot, and WWX desperately needs a shower, so.......................... yeah.)

- Wen Qing coax the juniors close with food and tells them all sorts of stories about the infamous Yiling Patriarch and how he didn’t even know how to properly cook for the Wen Remains. she tells them how interested he was in the non-cultivation world (Arthur vibes anyone??) and how he was the one teaching the Wens how to use all sorts of common objects, like cars and toasters, washing machines and ovens. Wen Ning sadly suggests that maybe WWX had already imagined how they would need such knowledge for when they were going to leave the cultivation world for good. everyone becomes somber afterwards.

- Jin Ling is still wary of Wen Ning, but he accepts his food and doesn’t try anything funny. Lan JingYi asks Wen Qing to teach him how to make a television work and he eventually blasts the volume up until he wakes JC and receives a knock on the head for the trouble. OuYang ZiZhen starts flipping through the romance novels Wen Ning collects and gets hooked on at least three of them at the same time bc none of them are related to the cultivation world. A-Yuan spends time with Wen Ning and they promise to talk about everything that happened as soon as this nightmare will be over.

*

- the following morning: the kids are sprawled on the floor, JC somewhat surrounded by them and cushioning their heads with his limbs; Lan JingYi slips and calls him “dad” for some reason; Jin Ling boinks his head with a fist and tells him he already has A-Yuan as a cousin and he doesn’t need another one; A-Yuan sobs a little when a sleepy JC tells the kids he has enough love for everyone; OuYang ZiZhen declares he wants to be a cousin too; Wen Qing slips the equivalent of Veritaserum down JC’s open mouth as he snores and they ask him all sorts of questions just to mess with him.

- all is well and the wangxian lovebirds come out of their room: all combed out and clean, WWX looks almost a respectable member of society, but dressed in non-cultivation clothes he still looks too skin for comfort. Suibian held close, LWJ’s hand in his, WWX properly introduces himself and asks for forgiveness.

- still under the effects of the potion, JC reveals that he’s just glad he’s still alive and as annoying as ever. WWX cries of happiness and LWJ has never looked more serene and moved since A-Yuan got to know him properly.

- right then, a spiritual butterfly (a shouting one! like the Howlers this time around!) passes through the window of the apartment and only says: “they’re coming. hold onto Suibian, all of you”. the group has barely enough time to huddle around the sword when the windows of the flat explode and spirits swarms their way inside!

- the sword activates (like a Portkey!) and they get sucked in through a passage until they reach a dungeon in Qinghe Nie. WWX realizes the engravings in the metal had been slightly changed to accommodate a transportation spell that would be invisible to the eye. LWJ takes his sword and point it at their host... but he only finds his fellow teacher MXY. for a moment he had thought the butterfly had come from JGY, because that had been the man’s voice screaming at them to take Suibian... but he couldn’t be sure. spiritual butterflies only speak to the one they are directed to, so nobody heard when the message had been opened aside from him.

- but... what did MXY have to do with all of this? the younger teacher doesn’t speak, simply gesturing them to follow along. then they reach the throne chamber through a secret corridor and there they find... NHS. who finally explains to them what is happening.

* (flashback)

- NMJ and JGY had planned to stop Jin GuangShan’s plan to take over the non-cultivation world. initially they thought they could postpone the inevitable by letting NMJ voting against the Jin Sect Leader in the election for Chief Cultivator... but then the pig ordered JGY to find dirt on NMJ and to orchestrate something to trigger a new war between Sects.

- JGY asks Su She (who he knows he’s a spy under Jin GuangShan’s wing) to start taking people away from the school and help him “frame” the Nie cultivators. JGY has full permission from NMJ to do so and LXC is informed as well. LXC pretends to be “kidnapped” and protects the teachers, students, and members of the staff that had been taken away in the meantime.

- JGY needs to take one specific person out of the school (out of sight from his father’s spies): his brother MXY, who had learned how to use transportation talismans long ago. MXY gives JGY some low-level talismans for Su She and his cronies from MoLing, just to make his older brother appear more trustworthy to the spie. but he’s otherwise preoccupied with perfecting a spell to lead an activated Suibian (aka, the Portkey) all the way in Qinghe.

- JGY needs MXY to finish the “receiving end” of the spell and the array that would have welcomed the Yiling Patriarch back. and to achieve that JGY has to sneak MXY out without people from the Jin Sect suspecting him.

- Qin Su conveniently “suggests” to Su She to take MXY away for good measure: she got news from her brothers of their plan to dethrone their father and she’s on board. so her suggestion was taken seriously by Su She and he himself sneaks MXY out of the school despite the (uuuuuuuuh) lockdown (??? too soon? too soon)

- Jin GuangShan now has what he wanted: an opportunity to seek NMJ out... but Nie ZongHui panics and steals WWX’s dizi, planting it in Wen Qing’s belongings. JGY knows his father will still try to ignore the WWX situation in order to pick on NMJ no matter what... but if the cultivation world hears about how the Jin Sect didn’t care if the Yiling Patriarch was behind the disappearances... JGY knows a siege will come for his father all right, but it will come for him and his siblings too.

- so JGY suggests WWX is the one behind the kidnappings, reminding his father -this way- how the entire Sect will be under scrutiny if he refuses to acknowledge the disappearance of the dizi. JGY doesn’t want for the name of Jin to be followed by hatred and disgust just like it happened with the Wens.

- his father luckily catches up on the tension in the room and for the time being accepts to look for WWX like the others instead of trying to come for NMJ’s head (ahahah)

- while MXY works on the array to activate Suibian from afar, LXC is confident LWJ will find WWX all on his own and convince him to help them. but in case LWJ will fail in convincing him... well, activating Suibian they will still be able to summon WWX whether he likes it or not. but LXC doesn’t have time to send the butterfly that LWJ has already left the school (after receiving Wen Qing’s message). so the little butterfly looks for LWJ for the entire night before he finds him... and a bunch of children (including JC).

- which is unexpected, but LXC trusts his brother. he informs JGY and the two of them entrust to MXY the task to send another butterfly to LWJ, activate Suibian, and welcome the group in Qinghe. all while LXC, JGY and NMJ meet in Gusu to plan a siege against Jin GuangShan.

* (end of flashback)

- NHS finally reveals how he had been the one suggesting MXY to give Suibian back to WWX after transforming it into a (raw and unpolished) transportation talisman before freeing him from Koi Tower (roughly at the beginning of the school year). MXY would have needed more time to finish the work on Suibian, but rumors had it WWX was soon to be executed bc now useless to Jin GuangShan after 13 years.

- tense under the scrutiny, MXY remains silent as WWX slowly falls at his feet and thanks him for keeping him company all of those years. MXY still refuses to speak when WWX marvels at the wonderful job he had done with Suibian as he kneels in front of him and tries to take one of the younger man’s gloved hands in his.

- “Finally, Yiling Patriarch,” utters MXY as he graciously accepts WWX’s offer and takes his hand. but WWX tenses, trying to take his hand back, still kneeling in front of MXY, who is smiling down at him.

- “You’re not him,” is all WWX is able to say before Xue Yang reveals his real identity (the changing-faces thingie is apparently called “face-changing technique” and works here in place of the Polyjuice potion). XY activates Suibian (still in WWX’s hand) once more and disappears with WWX.

*

- now that he has the whole story (and the Yiling Patriarch all for himself to play with!), XY can go back to Jin GuangShan and be given his two fierce corpses back (SL & XXC), who had been held captive for experiments in Koi Tower.

- XY took MXY’s place upon discovering JGY’s younger brother had secretly let the Yiling Patriarch run away with an unfinished transportation talisman. Jin GuangShan’s ordering him to keep the traitor MXY under control and to find WWX. retracing the spell-work backwards only from MXY’s notes would have taken ages so XY hid MXY behind a mirror in a secret chamber, torturing him to force him to tell him how to find WWX. but MXY refused over and over again.

- XY transformed his features into MXY’s ones, but his missing pinky would have jeopardized his mission, so he wore stuffed gloves on both hands, shrugging it off as a stylistic choice. his acting so spot on, not even Qin Su or JGY noticed anything missing, not even NHS, MXY’s best friend, or Jin Ling.

- but JGY never told him the whole story. and now that he knew the truth about Jin GuangShan’s intention to conquer the non-cultivation world... now XY has leverage to get what he wants and flee with his (partners?? lovers?? guinea pigs??) fierce corpses.

- working on a double array to activate Suibian (whatever that means) took almost an entire school year, but in the end he got to drag WWX all the way back to Koi Tower... where the siege will soon take place.

*

- WWX gets nails in his skull (which I assume could work in place of an Imperius Curse, even if he’s not a fierce corpse) in order to defend Koi Tower from the siege by organizing the corpses against 3Zun’s army of cultivators.

- LWJ looks for his brother as the others and NHS look for more help. they still don’t know WWX is in Koi Tower or for who XY I start working, but NHS knows Jin GuangShan will not wait for the siege to take him down so he suggest they move to LanLing.

- the juniors are exhausted and yet they fly to Koi Tower in the attempt to warn LXC of what had just occurred, when they hear the dizi Chenqing summoning the dead. the battle begins, but doesn’t culminate until 3Zun show up and destroy most of WWX’s corpses.

- WWX himself is fighting against the nails in his skull and his demonic cultivation is deeply unstable, so much his corpses crumble down easily enough. still, there are so many: Koi Tower must have harvested them against the laws of the cultivation-world (XY being one of the mad scientists/magicians behind the project under Jin a GuangShan’s guidance... all in order to terrorize the commoners and eventually rule over the non-cultivation world)

- eventually, LWJ is able to face WWX and take him down, forcing him to come to his senses after taking the nails out. Jin GuangShan is captured and will face trial. Madam Jin takes over the Sect and makes JGY her General.

*

- during the battle, A-Yuan gets hit in the head and the other juniors try to use a spare transportation talisman (disapparate) to get him back to Wen Qing... but they don’t know where she is fighting and so they go back to Cloud Recesses.

- A-Yuan gets (Splinched) injuried even more and the pain reminds him of his past, of WWX and the rest of his family in the lush mountain of Burial Mounds.

- the school is empty, but Jin Ling finds a way back to his uncle JGY’s office where he knows there are medicinal herbs and talismans they can use. inside, they only find XY who’s looking for something by the desk in a hurry. XY tries to kill them (with an hex??) with a curse... but Madam Yu saves them by capturing him first with Zidian.

- Jin Ling embraces his grandma and explains what happened and where JC and WWX are, but he also insists on the need to save A-Yuan. once that is settled, Jin Ling forces XY to tell him where his younger uncle is -fearing he may be dead- by pointing his father’s sword at him.

- after getting what he wants, Jin Ling runs to MXY’s office and finds the bronze mirror... but he cannot step inside of it. he wishes and wishes and wishes, but nothing happens! he slides on the floor and cries his heart out.

*

- WWX and LWJ arrive with JC and Wen Qing at the school. Madam Yu is cold towards WWX and accuses him of destroying their family and of disrespecting the debt he owed them. WWX listens carefully and then embraces her anyway. it doesn’t last long, but he doesn’t care.

- LWJ steps inside JGY’s office and asks XY to tell him where MXY is. the other offers to tell him only if LWJ helps him find something in JGY’s room: a key to the (magical, I guess) cell where SL and XXC have been trapped.

- LWJ tells him they already freed them and that they are waiting for him downstairs. restless and eager to meet them, XY tells him nobody aside from someone with MXY’s face can open the mirror door in MXY’s office.

- tired of all that nonsense, LWJ drags XY over to the office, Zidian still cracking and squeezing him in place like a snake, and forces him to perform his imitation magic once more.

- WWX runs behind them and they find Jin Ling sobbing on the floor. WWX smashes XY’s now transformed face into the mirror and they barge inside. MXY is there, some fingers missing, a lost ear, too skinny for comfort, traumatized beyond recognition. but he immediately recognizes WWX and weakly allows the older man to embrace him and hold him tight.

- A-Yuan sees all of this, after Wen Qing got to work her magic on him and starts to cry. he too once had been too skinny and weak, he too had been saved by WWX and then once more by LWJ.

- he remembers everything now. LWJ hugs him tight as they made their way to WWX and MXY. A-Yuan holds WWX tight as MXY marvels at him.

- “Is this... is this A-Yuan? Wen Yuan?” MXY asks, smiling even in his weakened state, “Your dad told me so much about you... so it was you all along, Lan SiZhui?”

- and even if MXY had never been anything but one of his many weird teachers, now that A-Yuan finally sees him after one entire year, knowing he kept WWX company in Koi Tower for so many years... A-Yuan cannot do anything but feel a great deal of affection for him too. so he hugs MXY as well and he laughs as WWX and LWJ hold him tight.

*

[what a ride. what a fucking ride. I want 150k words for this but I cannot do it. any volunteers? anyway you can interpret the WWX/MXY thingie as strictly platonic, but you are talking to a wangxianyu shipper so........yeah. no but really, I just wanted these poor characters to be happy. also, even if this is a “HP: POA” inspired au, I’ve always loved the mindfuck that was discovering the truth about Mad-Eye Moody in “HP: GOF” so..... sue me.]

[XY will face a trial don’t you worry]

[ignore all the plot holes, Su She would be proud of me for them]

#mdzs #cql #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #wangxianyu #wangxian

[trademarknickersoncharm]

Austin’s spoiler free  ND Rankings from best to worst (with reasons why)

PLS NOTE: There is only one game I actually HATE. Every other game there is something I like about it except my last spot. Keep that in mind.

1) Ghost of Thornton Hall. This game is an absolute masterpiece. It is the best game HeR has made since CUR. It is also the best game I think HeR has put out in recent years. These are characters that you actually FEEL for. Not one of them are unlikeable. The closest you get is Clara, who you wind up feeling for in the end. An absolute work of art (it is also the first game I pre-ordered because from the very beginning I was invested.)

2) Labyrinth Of Lies- Hear me out. I absolutely adore this game. It has Greece, Theatre, and Xenia Doukas. Three things I cannot live without. While I absolutely agree that the whole idea of a rotating set system underground is impossible, this game was a dream come true for theatre kids everywhere. I will never not play this game without listening to Mamma Mia. It’s probably my biggest unpopular opinion of this fandom.

3) Last Train To Blue Moon Canyon- This game breaks my literal heart. Camille and Jake Hurly has always been up there in my eyes with Frances and Dirk from SHA. I have always loved the environment of this game. (This is probably due to the fact that Murder On The Orient Express is one of my favorite books) and this is one game that I always go to when I’m feeling nostalgic. It is also the first time you see the Hardy Boys so that’s a sign.

4) Sea Of Darkness- This is the game that I think has the best graphics HeR has offered. We have a lesbian character which was highly requested as well as a cute dog. The aurora borealis is never not STUNNING to look at and it one of the best games that actually feels like Nancy is “there”. The mystery is also one that I think can be misleading. I always assumed it was Ghost Ship TM but boy was I wrong. Elisabet also has my whole heart.

5) The Final Scene- OH MY GOD THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE SASS FILLED GAME AND I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE FOR IT. I constantly say “I propose you back off!” at every opportune moment. It is the best dialogue Nancy has ever had. Again, it is a Stan for theatre kids everywhere. I have also always thought magic was the coolest thing even though I can't perform it. Solid dialogue and very easy puzzles, which is always a relief.

6) Curse Of Blackmoor Manor- This is not in my top 3 as it is going to be for almost everyone else due to the fact that I think it is a very difficult game. I first played it when I was 12, and it was the only game I could not beat up until that shit show SAW which we will discuss later. Now that I've grown older and wiser, I have really grown to appreciate it more and it is a CLASSIC when looking into this game series. I appreciate the nostalgia value it has and the soundtrack and the characters. Ethel Bossiny FTW. This game also has the best soundtrack of the series.

7) Treasure In The Royal Tower- Another one that will be in everyone else’s top 3 but is not for me, but is still solid. I ADORE this game’s setting and character development- but for me, I never really felt pulled in to the mystery. My time was spent fan grilling over Hotchkiss that the person who broke into the library was on my back burner. HOWEVER, it is still very nostalgic and iconic it is in my top 10.

8) The Phantom Of Venice- Simply put, this game is why I want to go to Italy. I was ALMOST THERE but corona. I absolutely adore the way this game transports you. They included everything they could, even real photos of Venice, which I appreciated as someone who wants to go.

9) Alibi in Ashes- You have to understand how important it is that we finally got a game in River Heights. It was always on the TOP of my list in terms of places I wanted Nancy to go. It did not disappoint. The fact that everyone turned on Nancy so quickly always sends chills down my spine.

10) Legend Of The Crystal Skull- ALRIGHT so another unpopular opinion. This was the FIRST game I every played AND BEAT and so it will always be in my top 10. This is the game that truly got me invested in the series. If it wasn't this, it would not be this high, but it is my number 10 for that reason. Other things I like: Henry, Renee, the setting and music.

11) Warnings At Waverly Academy- WAC’s setting is so amazing. I don’t really know how to explain it, but I have always been intrigued about boarding school mysteries (@ house of Anubis )and this is a solid one. It contains probably one of the best plot twists of the series that blew my mind the first time I played it, and Mel Corbalis is god’s gift to humanity.

12) The Silent Spy- A real tearjerker if there ever was one. This games takes a storyline that has been changed many times (Nancy’s mom) and turns it into something so extremely badass you really wish she wasn't actually dead. Zoe Wolfe is the absolute reason I exist. You also play a cookies mini game which is just about as addicting as crack.

13) Secret Of The Old Clock- Okay, so I feel like this game gets a lot of hate because everyone talks about how weird the time travel is, but this has always been a game I liked. I think personally, that it is the easiest game in the series (if you exclude the dress, which I have never had a problem with) and it is based on the absolute most classic ND story of all. I also highly enjoy this period of time, even though the characters in this game aren't great. Emily Crandall is probably the best one, and even she yells at Nancy.

14) Secret Of Shadow Ranch- Okay. So I’m going to get anon h8 for this. But SHA is... not the best in my opinion. I have talked about this before, but SHA is very tedious in terms of chores and I just do not like that. I wouldn't necessarily mind the chores if they weren't repetitive, but it is the same chores over and over again. With that said, I LOVE the music, the Humber storyline, and the setting, so it is #14

15) Message In A Haunted Mansion- This is probably the only game I have ever pissed my pants over. CUR and GTH didn’t even do that. I think it is bc MHM is one of the first games I played. The hauntings in this game are so AMAZING and when you find out their explanation it totally changes things.

16) The Deadly Device- I love when ND does a Murder Mystery right. This is the time it was done right. The culprit came out of absolutely no where and I loved it. It is ranked this low for me b/c I think some of the puzzles are tedious and hard. Ryan Kilpatrick is an amazing human being and so is Ellie thx.

17) Tomb Of The Lost Queen- Another game which I think gets a lot of undeserved hate. Mummies are badass, especially when the mummy sighting is real and unexplained. Dylan Carter is probably the biggest example of stud you will ever see, and Jamila El-Dine is a bad b****. I am ranking it this high for Jamila alone. 

18) Danger On Deception Island- I absolutely adore this game’s music. But I hate Holt Scotto with all the fire within me. He is why this game is not in my top 10. I love everything about this game except Holt F****** Scotto. I want to put it in my top 10. I do. But Holt Scotto sucks.

19) The Haunted Carousel- This was a game which I vividly remember being bullied in daycare over. I took it to daycare one day and we kept getting our eyeballs poked out by the lathe. Daycare memories suck. Also it is the first game by which we get a literal sexual strut by the culprit at the end, which I have never liked. Pluses of the game? An amusement park. Miles.

20) Ransom Of The Seven Ships- SAY IT OUT LOUD. RAN. IS. NOT. THE. WORST. GAME. The puzzles, although always thrown at your face, are actually sort of fun. I would rank it higher but there is way too few characters in a way that makes the culprit very obvious, but it also isn't at the same time. 

21) The Captive Curse- This is a game by which I thought had so much potential but I think the monster looks very dumb? It’s like? The inbred cousin of Frankenstien’s monster? However, I LOVE THE SONG “girls”from this game and have a huge love for Lukas, so it isn't bottom 10

22) Stay Tuned For Danger- This game is one that would be so much higher up for me, If you didn’t have to look at EVERYTHING to complete it. If you miss ONE LETTER in a magazine, you cannot beat this game. I get stuck on it every time  I play it, but the mystery is amazing and who doesn’t love a good old NYC game.

23) The White Wolf Of Icicle Creek- To begin my bottom 10, ICE. I LOVE ICE as a concept. But, Fox and Geese holds me back from a replay. I absolutely love the idea of a lodge that people are in danger at. The snow atmosphere is amazing and so is Isis. But, Fox and Geese is an abomination.

24) Ghost Dogs Of Moon Lake- I really, really want to like this game because I am a dog lover. However, the insect challenge is such a CHORE to do. I cannot stand to do it. It is so difficult to do in my humble opinion, it requires such a retrace of step that makes it insufferable. Pros? cute doges.

25) The Haunting Of Castle Malloy- YOU ARE LITERALLY THIS LOW BC OF THE END PUZZLE AND YOU KNOW IT. However, not the worst for me because I love Ireland and this game has some of the best music in the series. It is on my top 5 for soundtracks. I love everything about this game except THE END. Fiona is so misunderstood.

26) Secret of The Scarlet Hand- I really like this game, I do, but I am very not interested in the constant phone calls you do in this game. You are on the phone for about 75% of this game and I really didn’t like that about it. LOVE the history behind it though.

27) SCK/SCK2- I really do not like SCK as a concept. School murders are a topic which really turns me off. Not to mention, there is barely a difference between these games but a single character and a puzzle. 

28) Danger By Design- Paris? Yes. Fashion? Heck yeah. But I never have really enjoyed DAN because the mystery can literally be solved by pulling a Phantom of The Opera and dropkicking the mask off. I also HATE the cookie puzzle. The edges never curl upwards for me.

29) Creature Of Kapu Cave- Ugh. Shells and fishing make this game untouchable for me. I LOVE HAWAII CONCEPT and supernatural volcanoes and phenomena. But I cannot stand the big island buck system or the man himself. Sorry, big island homies. Also be proud of me because it took me this long to bring up STUPID FRASS

30) Midnight In Salem- I was so excited for this game. We all were. I really enjoy MID’s mystery and as a concept. But, the new format is not good and neither is the constant talking and only being able to complete the game in one order. I was so excited for nothing (which is my own fault)

31) Shadow At The Waters Edge- GOD. The massive nonogram and sudoko have NO place in this game. I refuse to play it because of these 2 puzzles. However, I do love the scares in it. They are top notch scares. I have beat this game in it’s entirety maybe once?

32) Trail Of The Twister- Internship simulator forever. Chores galore, what a bore. Uncompelling mystery and hateful characters. The only thing I liked was the country music, a sentence you don’t hear often.

33) The Shattered Medallion- I literally played the beta of this game and it was ions better than the actual released product. That’s reason enough.

#I challenged a few others for this bc im interested #Nancy drew #ALL OPINIONS don't come forme

[ivyquinzel]

Rating my family members out of boredom. Most of them have good rating but I have daddy issues

My Mom: Accepts that I'm gay, doesn't really know what to do about it. Asks if I learned it from the internet and if I really want to dye my hair black and rainbow. Asks if I learned my political beliefs from the internet, listens to my stepdad for all politics, ignores my sources. Doing her best to learn to accept trans people since I came out, very sweet and loving. Let's me disagree without getting upset. She's trying to improve, I love her and she does her best to support, 9/10 for effort

My Dad: Would disown me if he found out I was gay and trans. Pro Cop Pro Trump Manipulative, verbally abusive to my mom. Dated a 16 year old when he was in his thirty's, married her when she turned 18. Eventually got divorced from her. Tells me I'm the only reason he hasn't killed himself. I'm 14, go get a therapist. Uses autism as an insult and says ADHD and anxiety are excuses, I have all three of those so. Lowkey sexist, Kinda racist, a general asshole. If he doesn't win an argument it didn't happen, even if it was about a book he's never read and I've read 10 times. He just pretends it doesn't happen. Spends lots of money on me if I pretend to believe his lies. Still a creep and an asshole, I just know how to make him think I still like him. 0/10

My Stepdad: Former Cop. Pro War, Pro Police Violence, Unusually excited when he thought there would be a world war three. Yelled at his son for wearing a girls cami (I have him my old one) to paint so his shirts didn't get movie. Wouldn't let him watch his favourite tv show bc it's for girls. The child is literally 4. Transphobic, but offered to take me to a drag race and bought me a rainbow sticker when I came out as bi, which I think is his way if supporting. Says I'm not gay at least three times a conversation when it even slightly involves LGBT. Toxic masculinity, gender roles. Doesn't like me much, literally said he'd die for all his kids except me in front of me much, which I'm fine with but rude much? Shoves me away from my mom, who I'm very close to so he can stand with her. Won't let me carry my baby sister, says I'm a horrible babysittier, makes fun of most things I do, dumps Brielle on me every time he wants to do something without asking even if I've been working all day and won't let me complain. Says I'm lazy and bad at school work bc I'm not doing it while I'm literally doing it. Doesn't think he should have to take care of his kids. Buys expensive foods and deserts for everyone else but doesn't have enough to get me anything over 20 dollars or dessert. Listens to my mom half the time she yells at him or tells him to be nice to me. Blames someone else when he makes a mistake. 0/10

My nine year old cousin: Gay, cool with trans people, writes lesbian fanfiction. Small and sweet, 10/10

My 13 year old cousin: Does not give a fuck what I am, uses my pronouns even when he's trying to be an asshole to me, sometimes punches me but he started doing it less after I broke his nose. He's been getting nicer over the past few years, we're actually friends now. Plays Assassin's Creed with me. 7/10 for punching me

My one year old sister and two year old cousin: Literal angels. Have done nothing wrong. Pains to babysit but I love them anyways. 10/10

My six year old cousin: He's very sweet, but holy shit does he like to misbehave. Unfortunately, I have to be responsible when I babysit, or I'd join him. Attention whore, will cry and be dramatic. I love him anyways. 6/10 for being annoying, if it's harsh it's bc I'm babysitting him for over a month

Uncle 1: Weird. Calls tv the devil's box. Very nice, veteran but against police brutality. Cool with gays. 8/10

Aunt 1: Super Sweet. Depressed from ptsd (also a veteran) which makes me sad. It is my mission to make her happy. Literally the nicest. 10/10

Uncle 2: Funny, puts up with my bs even though we all know he's done with it. Tells his kid not to punch me, plays Assassin's Creed with me. Generally a nice guy. 10/10

Aunt 2: Pro gay, taught her kids about transgender. Huge ally, I haven't come out to her as gay but she definitely knows. Bet sweet, spoils her kids. House is literally covered with stuff, 99% sure she's a hoarder bc there's a trail through toys and items and stuff in her house, it smells kind of bad but at least I'm not bored I guess? 9/10 for the mess

Cousins Aunt: Not technically related to me. Aunt 2's sister. Huge nerd. Takes me and my cousin to comicons and conventions. Very nice, 10/10

Grandma: Buys me books and when she found out I was gay got me a gay pride flag. Has horrible music taste. Taught me how to ride horses. 10/10

Grandpa: Funny, supportive, taught me how to play chess. Cooks my favourite foods for me to visit a lot. 10/10

Grandma's Partner: Tells dirty jokes and funny stories that Grandma disapproves of, funny as shit. Annoyed by most kids in my family (me too, honestly, but I babysit them all bc that's what I do) but loves me. Believes in ghosts, tells me about them. Had an abusive dad and refuses to be like him. Super nice 10/10

Grandpa's wife: Does not understand shit. Asks the same question ten times. It's kind of endearing though. Very sweet, if you're patient you'll love her. 10/10