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void-of-unparalled-chaos · 10 hours

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Okay so time for me to dump my thoughts on the Underworld Saga because I am going insane and tbh I'm not sure how coherent this will be because my brain is mostly keyboard smashing.

The Shades: "When does a man become a monster? 558 men who died under your command. CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN! Why would you let the cyclops live when ruthlessness is mercy?"

Okay so the harmonies of the Shades are amazing! But also this whole bit is just so... haunting. The call back to Just a Man and Ruthlessness does something to me. Could you imagine being screamed at by the ghosts of everyone you've failed? Also Jay confirmed that the shades in this song are just repeating their final thoughts in life. They drowned begging for their Captain to help them and died wondering why he failed them. This probably fucked Odysseus UP.

Odysseus: "I keep thinking of the infant from that night. I keep thinking of the infant from that night."

I swear I can hear the PTSD in his voice holy shit. Also Astyanax's music box motif being played in church bells in the back. I never would have noticed it if not for Jay's behind the scenes videos but knowing it's there makes this bit so much better.

Odysseus: "Polities..."

I was not nearly as wrecked at this bit until I saw this post mentioning that Odysseus quiet little "Polities..." is a mirror of Polities strangled "Captain..." when he died and now I will never be the same.

Odysseus' Mom

I am not exaggerating when I say I cried during the watch party. Everything about this is heartbreaking. His mom was thinking about him in her final moments. "Odyssues when you come home I'll be waiting" except she wont be. The shocked defeat in Odysseus' voice with "I took too long...". He's right there in front of her, but her shade just doesn't register him. They are so close physically yet still separated by death. Also the fact that Jay's mom voices her that is so sweet omg.

The change from "Here in the Underworld the past seems close behind" to "But in the Underworld your past is always close behind."

STTAGKDUKFUTAATUFOUCOUXGJXG

THE STRINGS!!!!! AND THE PIANO!!!!

Tiresias' voice is so haunting omg

Mason absolutely NAILED prophet who is constantly being shown everything all the time at one I love it sm.

The lyrics in this song are just.... so good. And the foreshadowing is top notch

Jay's voice acting for Odysseus' is also great in this.

The distress and frustration in "We've suffered and sailed through the toughest of hells. Now you tell us ur efforts are for NOTHING?!" and the absolute anger in "WHO!?!?!" (Its you, Ody. See your about to go through a complete change in morals about 5 minutes from now and become a completely different person).

THE DESCENDING ORGAN FOR THE SECOND CHORUS MY JAW DROPPED

Jorge don't think I didn't notice the Hunchback of Notre Dame, Hellfire, vibes at the end I see you.

This is my favorite song released in Epic so far and I am not normal about it at all.

The GUITAR! THE ELECTRIC GUITAR!

For those unfamiliar and being dragged along this nonsense post, Odysseues character is associated with the guitar. The acoustic guitar is when he is softer, kinder, and more "human" while the electric guitar represents him at his most brutal, ruthless, and "monsterous". This song is his turning point to which he is done being merciful. He will do ANYHTING to get home.

"Oh Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves..."

Really taking Poseidon's lesson to heart there.

Odysseus: "AND IF I GOTTA DROP ANOTHER INFANT FROM A WALL IN AN INSTANT SO WE ALL DON'T DIE? THEN I'LL BECOME THE MONSTER! I WILL DEAL THE BLOW!... SO WHAT IF I'M THE MONSTER?"

Ayrsgstusigxjgsutaut holy shit holy shit holy shit-

Play this back to back with Just A Man for some psychic damage. What an end for Act 1!

#epic the underworld saga #epic the musical

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nwarrior777 · 10 months

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i was a bad person and here is my big message about it

even tumblr couldn't hold this much of a post so i made it under the cut. well. i was trying to write it for YEARS sooo i guess it's a little hard to squish in something small

i am frightened of seeing your reaction on this post but. it needs to be made. i wanted to make it for years. if not now then when?

long story about one fundamental thing i deeply regret and want to leave in the past and move on, and today is the perfect time to talk about it.

so. as i told, yesterday was my 26 birthday. and it was a special one. cause i gave it concept

26 years. 25+1. for me it means that half of my life is behind me. (maybe 1/3 if i will be lucky). i decided my 26 birthday will be beginning of my new era. i will leave my past behind and will go into my. present.

the problem is that my past is soooo fucked up

i did a lot of cringe bad things, WHICH I DEEPLY REGRET ABOUT but i want to tell you about one, which is haunting me the most. i thought about writing post about it sooo much times, i tried, but i couldn't do it everytime because then i thought about it i felt soooo ashamed and just burning in selfhate so what's the thing and why exactly this thing I want to tell you about above all of the things which i regret? well because now i am totally opposite person to that mindset which i am ashamed of so! pls keep in mind that i REGRET having that mindset. i think i realized that it's something not good in my 19 years old (my 19 years old is my turning point in life in general), now i am one day 26, but it's still was hunting me!!! 6 fucking years of constant shame and hating myself!!! at this moment i got rid of this thing in my mind and actions completely, and i want to put the final nail in the coffin by this post. so!!! i.. H A D (NOW I DON’T!!!)... fat fetish :c ( * internal screaming full of fear, selfhate and realising that i can hurt someone's feeling by that * ) i almost always had complicated relationships with fatness. first anorexia, but, at the same time then i hated my body i realized that i find fat people beautiful, hot even? (mostly masculine dudes? i don't remember that i thought about others?). and then i got into my horny ~18 yeaaars and ehhhh i was exploring my horny feelings and preferences. i was deep diving in that fat fetish content, i even made sooome drawings (I think I posted, ~2 on internet AND I HATE THE FACT THAT THEY EXIST SO MUCH). and. next thing will sound naive. but. people who do bad things are always dumb and don't realize basic shit. so. i haven't seen anything bad in fat fetish. and at this time i already had my own moral compass, which i still have AND it helped me get out of this my moral compass: if it hurts someone - it's bad. if not – then it’s fine. and my depiction of fat fetish was reversed in my head. i thought that people participating in it.. feeling sexy and validated? that it's something powerful (I DON'T THINK THIS WAY NOW!) but then i saw one post

it was a person, saying, that they saw a content with fetishization of their appearance and they felt uncomfortable and humiliated by it

and i was like "wait what??? fetishes make people sad??? IT SOMETHING WHAT HURTS SOMEONE??? It's!!! It's... a bad thing!!!"

and i think since then i started to go away from it?

and it's not a second, day or month. you know that getting rid of cigarettes is hard and takes time, right? imagine how hard and how much time will take getting away from moral mindset mistake

if you do something bad it usually means that it is deep in your life

it's hard to go away from people with same mindset, your actions in the past which you thought was fine are now your shame etc etc

but!!! i've been working on myself. i don't want to hurt people, and yeah, hurting someone's feelings counts too.

sooo time was going by and it was less and less fetish content in my corner of internet. i realized that fetish is NOT something powerful and cool or sexy. representation is!!! you can draw gorgeous powerful sexy person without fetishization. actually people on fetish art... well, sometimes they don't even look like people. more like fucked up sex toys. it's so wrong, so bad and i am so ashamed that at some point of my life i thought it's something not awful

then i got into art community, more queer and bodypositive, i learned how to love my body, accepted it at 100% beat the fuck up anorexia. my feed in all the social media are now queer/bodypositive/artists usually all at once. if i see fetish blog reblogging me (i can't check every one but sometimes it happens) i ban it and

and now i don't watch any fetish content, don't have fantasies or dreams about that. now even if i see some content by accident (then you are in internet, you sometimes see shit which you don't want to see, like idk, some fetish blog relogging my art) it makes me feel uncomfortable and i don't turn on at all.

it was the last thing of this to defeat - physical desire. It’s like addiction, sometimes i wanted to watch Fetish Horny Content sooooo bad that it literally was on physicall level, and i just, well, watched and blamed myself for that after

and here is a little strange part, because one day it just... disappeared? with all my libido. aand honestly, it's fine, maybe i can't get turn on at all, but better not feeling libido at all then having it and having this shit in the head. aaaand also i have kiinda same emotions from... art. like cool art. in general. like, show me a good dramatical movie, some cool music, some touching piece of art, cool fucking made edit - i am shivering and crying tears of joy. i have this sooo, yep, it's enough for me, and i can survive loosing libido, if it's price for taking fetish from my head - shut up and take my... libido (okay that part turn out kinda goofy but like, let’s take it as lightning the mood because all the post is some fucked up dark shit)

so yeah. long story short, i was a cringe bad person and i regret that. i've done many cringe things but i decided to tell you exactly about this one because it is fundamental thing in my life and, as you can see, my art

as you could notice, all my characters are fat. and i am trying my best to draw them respectfully. goal of my life is trying to be good person (trying because you can never be sure that you are 100% right. you need to listen people and be ready to change. it's never ending road. what's why i use word "trying". you can't "be" good. only try) goal of my art is to bring people happiness by art, and representation is my method.

i feel very ashamed of that fact that i was participated in phenomen like fat fetish and now i make opposite thing - draw art, based on representation of fat people (and also queer and having other features but this post is not about that)

aaand yeah, sounds not very nice

but... i just hope that you can see that i am drawing fat people with respect. yes, a lot of time my characters presented as sexy. but i am trying to draw fat characters sexiness in respectful way. i've seen fetish art - and i am trying to draw NOT like that.

i learned my lesson. i don't want EVER draw fetish art again. i want!!! draw good things which brings people joy. i deeply sorry for that fetish thing was in my mind. but it's gone. I fought it in me for years, i won, fuck this thing. i want this thing stay in the past!!!!!

and brain, stop fucking hunting me with "whEn thEy wIll KnoW thEy Will Be All DissApoinTed in YoU!! ALL YOUR ART INFLUENCE WILL ZERO OUT THEN PEOPLE WILL FIND OUT!!!" these thoughts were been killing me for YEARS

so

i am deeply ashamed of having fat fetish phaze. but it's over. i learned that it's bad, i don't want to have it in my life ever again. and i don't want my drawings of fat people be part of it. i do it for different reason - to make representative art, which bring people joy, not hurting them.

i was carry this self-fight for years. and this day, my 26 birthday, seems like perfect day to finally leave this shit in the past and move on. i mean, i realised that it's a bad thing ~5-6 years ago. but my brain didn't let go thoughts about that. i am done with this. i want to break free from this shame. i hope i can have a second chance on that...

i really hope that you guys will be able to get joy from my art after that. i got rid of this shit in my mind, i promise. just. please don't turn back from me because because of this mistake. if you can.

(pls, if you have words of support, leave a comment. idea of this post was hunting me for years, and now it finally written. it's finally out of my chest. i want to get free from this. thank you)

#sorry if the thing turned out messy #last parts are the most messy i guess #but i hope #it have. like. meaning #i want to get this skeleton out my closet #i was writing this all day #there was a moment then i thought i delited the note on the phone with this by accident in the evening #then i was almost done #and i was so furious #but no i just get it in archive or smth #anyway #i am just dumping the info now #i need to sleep #pressing “post” button and going to bed #eh #i feel so shitty #ehhhhh #but. some day i had to make this post

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dimiclaudeblaigan · 6 months

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A post in honor of General Jarod Fire Emblem my precious.

#DCB RD Run #Jarod Fire Emblem #idk if he has a tag but he has one now if not #also i had to put some pics together and make them one bc tumblr stops letting me arrange pics after 16 pics it's so fckn annoying #now pls if you would take a seat while i go on a small tangent (small bc i am limited to thirty tags per post!)#now so you see aside from him being a total hoot with awesome resolution/determination #smth i love about general jarod fire emblem my precious is his relationship with alder #bc you see jarod is clearly scum like fuck him yeah??? and then you get whacked with this emotional scene with alder #i love how they wrote two total scum villains as being just... human. i feel bad for them in that moment #as a human being even knowing everything they did i feel bad for them and respect them both #it doesn't change that they're scum and doesn't erase what they've done but it still elicits an emotional response from me #it makes me wish jarod was better and not an enemy. it makes me wish in a way that that could've been his atonement arc beginning #but i know that can't happen and wouldn't - he's too far gone. but as a human that's just the emotion i get seeing that scene #and then RIGHT as jarod is going back to his batshit villainy he dumps THAT fuckin' speech on us #MIND YOU with this really badass music playing. all his soldiers get into position #and you watch them move to the spots you'll start off with them in on the map when the battle starts #also man was hilarious right to his grave and i love all the shade he threw at bk that's among my love languages #and yes i did actually in fact start this file the same day i beat part one #anyway enjoy your general jarod fire emblem bc fe heroes sure isn't

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project-wildcard · 11 months

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My inspirations!

My biggest inspiration, by far, is Just Roll With It. It's a TTRPG podcast that is just so good at every aspect of story telling! Every single campaign they've done I've cried out of some kind of emotion that they make me feel. The characters are all incredible! Gillion Tidestrider is probably my favourite and everyone after that is just a close second and they're all tied with each other because they're all so amazing in their own ways.

Wildcard specifically was actually inspired most The Trickster from Prime Defenders. The story of exactly how that came to happen is a little silly and for another time. You'd think with the multiple forms and changing personality gimmick that I'd have been most inspired by Vyncent and yes there's a lot of similarities but I want to make the distinction here and now that every form Wildcard takes is still Charlie at heart. They do not become a completely different person, it just changes the way their emotions work. At their core it's still the same person.

Thank you Mutants and Masterminds for being the system I used to create Wildcard's character sheet back when I was in denial and thought I'd just play them as a character in a campaign despite having no friends available at the time to DM such a campaign. I also use those character sheets to get a good idea of building and balancing all the heroes and villains in the world (although there will be plenty of leniency based on what I think is cool and fits the story).

I've also, definitely taken a lot of inspiration from the Spiderverse films, which might come across more once the first part of the story is released. Those movies are perfection the characters are incredible the story they're telling is innovative and fresh while still falling into the feeling of a Spiderman story. I love Gwen I love Miles I love Pav I love Mayday I love Peter I love the Spot I love Miguel and I LOVE LOVE LOVE Hobie! One of the characters in my story that I'm yet to speak about yet is very similar to Hobie and I'm so excited and I love the parallels and as I write them I'm definitely gonna be pulling so much from Spiderverse Hobie's personality. Spiderman in general (most versions of them) is my favourite superhero so there will probably be a lot in my head that I don't recognise I'm taking from Spider people stories but I'm just gonna make the sweeping statement now that there will likely be similarities. I will not, however, be going into multiverse or time travel stories, at least not in the main canon story, maybe I'll do a weird little "what if" after I finish telling my story where a "balanced" and fused Wildcard meets a "corrupted" and vibrant Wildcard.

Shout-out to Marvel in general, comics and movies, I've seen a lot of that stuff so again, it'll probably just leak in without me realising.

This helps me when I'm struggling to let myself write

Finally, a big thank you to all my friends who encourage/enable (in the bad way) me. I am on my shit and my shit is telling an intricate story that I am very passionate about with characters who I love and care for. Namely, all 3 of my friends on that one discord server where I first infodumped about Wildcard, Hazel, for helping me build the character sheet and helping me come up with names and also letting me info dump to you, and Mimi, for basically the same reasons as Hazel, as well as being the first person I made a superhero story for (we did an introductory session of DnD in a superhero setting. Her character will be making a cameo at some point most likely). Also everyone who's tried to help me learn how to draw because I'm not gonna lie, my only motivation there was drawing characters for this story.

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fallenwhumpee · 12 days

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AAAAA LEADER!!! COME ONNNN MY MAN DFJDFGK at least they finally got their wound tended to :(( props to healer for trying ksdjfsd the drawing too? leader having notions of what would happen if caretaker were still alive? i bet that they've spent ages wondering what their life would be like if caretaker was still around, how they would get along with everyone, how there would be someone for them...

also, yeah, i too accidentally whump my characters when trying to comfort them. hallmarks of the trade, i suppose lol

amazing delivery again, lea!!

:D anon

Well, I did try. It's the characters' fault to be so whumpable (Is that a word? If not, I petition to make it one.) And I can't write fluff, really, since when i do, it just sounds slushy to me if it's not served with hurt, at least to me.

Yup! At least they won't have to worry about bleeding out or getting an infection anymore. And the healer will feel less guilty.

My brain wanted more angst, so it decided leader needed more reminders about caretaker besides healer's very familiar fretting mode and the shield. A torture from one's own hand. And of course they will wonder how everything could turn out, because of course leader would worry less if the only figure they trusted with their loved ones' lives was alive and defending them. And maybe they'd be happy, like before, which is nothing but a distant dream in the moment.

#yup I'm evil to my characters #whats new #:D anon #ask #btw im done with 10th part of traitor #it just needs to be proofread but im lazy as usual #should I post it? I am dumping posts this week after almost a month of silence lol #anyway I'm going to sleep now #have a good day/night

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crebbyhermit · 3 months

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found this in the drafts

#crebsketch #dumping here for archival purposes again #did i just post hell yeah im back again #ocs #venus #kurt #lea #vici #andrea #hugo #pulchra #how did i draw in this style....i gotta get it back LMAO #venus is a wild card and i am afraid of her but she's really fun to draw #airhead bimbo girlie with so much rage and mommy issues #i remember learning a way to make interesting characters is by designing them around a trope/stereotype #and then allowing them to subvert those traits with something deeper #. it was probably an uchikoshi interview i learned that from.#i have unconsciously done this for awhile actually LMAO #like i would go. okay i wanna make a character that's like the token airhead. or silly. or femme fatale #and then i play with them a bit and write around and find out. ah this is your deep seated motivation for everything #it sounds like i know what i was doing but no. i just wanted to create characters to pander to my friends LMAO #edit: DRUD I SEE YOUR LAST TAGS THE UNCONSCIOUS BEDE CODED OC IS CRAZY. MY ROOTS NEVER LEAVE. MF

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lucidd-the-weirdo · 2 months

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SO SORRY for not posting as much recently btw guys!! I have TONS of art saved up but idk if I'm ready to show some, or like, I just forget to post- ALSO ALSO I've been TRYINGG to work on FYH but my mind is BGFHDSJ- Procrastination + wanting to make new projects every second is KICKING MY ASS!!! I know I should take my time with everything but I can't help but to feel bad- Have a Hearty in the mean time to hold u guys over!!!

#lucidds drawing hoard #hearty fyh #am probably overthinking everything but like. MIGHT AS WELL MENTION IT #plus idk if i should make multiple posts or just art dumps for this. i don't know!!!#i have an analysis to do. i wanna draw a ton. play games-#like i wanna do EVERYTHING but work AND post. it KINDA SUCKS #LIKE I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE EPISODE 2 DONE LAST MONTHH #i'm okay dw but like- ough-

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littlecutiexox · 2 years

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I know healing takes a long time but god I’m tired of being a mess

#ive just triggered myself really #remembered the whole convo and the ‘ sorry i didnt realise’ and fucked myself over mentally #maybe one day I’ll be able to control my emotions and not spiral but today is not the day #i should really up my therapy sessions im such a mess #had to mute her on social media because eh #which sucks majorly because shes a great person and a great friend #but how am i meant to be around her without thinking #hey your boy did this to me #and he had nothing else to say other than sorry didnt realise #last time i checked people saying no should make you realise #people physically stopping you should make you realise #AGREEING to do nothing more than kissing should make you realise that i didnt want anything more than kissing #okay okay this is gonna probably lose me followers and i know thats not what yall are here for #I’ll go off for the night #maybe post some ass tomorrow #idk we’ll see #but im typing this out because sorry i trauma dump on tumblr a lot #it helps me cope #ahhhhhh #so done with it

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mutatiio · 9 months

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maul + anakin update & big shoulder man.

⸢ ks verse ⤑ maul ⸥ i am victorious.

⸢ dynamic ⤑ anakin ⸥ once i finally hit the ground who's gonna drag me into the light?? ⸤ ferus ⸣ ⸢ dynamic ⤑ anakin ⸥ countin' all the mistakes i've made. ⸤ tru ⸣ ⸢ ks verse ⤑ anakin ⸥ what have i done?? ⸢ post tcw verse ⤑ anakin ⸥ the future's mine to make. ⸢ crack ⤑ anakin ⸥ i am clowning.

⸢ in character ⤑ bode ⸥ wonder where you are. ⸢ headcanon ⤑ bode ⸥ wonder where you are. ⸢ mirror ⤑ bode ⸥ wonder where you are. ⸢ musing ⤑ bode ⸥ wonder where you are. ⸢ dash game ⤑ bode ⸥ wonder where you are. ⸢ dash commentary ⤑ bode ⸥ wonder where you are. ⸢ dynamic ⤑ bode ⸥ won’t you sing with me?? ⸤ kata ⸣ ⸢ dynamic ⤑ bode ⸥ show me your light. ⸤ cal ⸣ ⸢ main verse ⤑ bode ⸥ i’ll sing your song. ⸢ jedi verse ⤑ bode ⸥ when the sky is clear. ⸢ alt ending verse ⤑ bode ⸥ are you very far?? ⸢ crack ⤑ bode ⸥ i am clowning.

#⸢ ks verse ⤑ maul ⸥ i am victorious.#⸢ dynamic ⤑ anakin ⸥ once i finally hit the ground who's gonna drag me into the light?? ⸤ ferus ⸣#⸢ dynamic ⤑ anakin ⸥ countin' all the mistakes i've made. ⸤ tru ⸣#⸢ ks verse ⤑ anakin ⸥ what have i done??#⸢ crack ⤑ anakin ⸥ i am clowning.#⸢ in character ⤑ bode ⸥ wonder where you are.#⸢ headcanon ⤑ bode ⸥ wonder where you are.#⸢ mirror ⤑ bode ⸥ wonder where you are.#⸢ musing ⤑ bode ⸥ wonder where you are.#⸢ dash game ⤑ bode ⸥ wonder where you are.#⸢ dash commentary ⤑ bode ⸥ wonder where you are.#⸢ dynamic ⤑ bode ⸥ won’t you sing with me?? ⸤ kata ⸣#⸢ dynamic ⤑ bode ⸥ show me your light. ⸤ cal ⸣#⸢ main verse ⤑ bode ⸥ i’ll sing your song.#⸢ jedi verse ⤑ bode ⸥ when the sky is clear.#⸢ alt ending verse ⤑ bode ⸥ are you very far??#⸢ crack ⤑ bode ⸥ i am clowning.#tag dump.#hurt myself with bode's tags.#⸢ post tcw verse ⤑ anakin ⸥ the future's mine to make.

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localnoodleman · 1 year

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Henry Cavill only took the role as Geralt as a long con to get himself as an in-game item skin and then beat it when the corporate overlords fucked the source material to death, and that’s kinda king behavior

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #henry cavill #I’m shit posting so loud and no one can stop me #but really like think about it #man had dc contracts and just hopped on because he’s a huge nerd #and then they truly took the books and just took a massive dump on them #jaskier #I dreamed of seeing u baptism of fire DnD party but alas #I don’t get my dreams #dandelion #time of contempt #I am literally almost done with the books #and guys I love the show in my own way but I need you to know #it’s Not The Same Story Even Remotely

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staurows · 1 year

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um hello i am bringing back these lesbians

#i am posting them here because i dont want my commissioners to think im ignoring their things #also since only my mutuals who used to know them need to see .. too messy for other eyes rn #also i noticed i drew them in the same pose but im not changing it cuz i think they would coordinate it #side note #dre looks so good with his dark brown hair but he impulsively bleached it #living his goblin king fantasy #bryn went from writing fanfics in school to writing her self indulgent romance novel in university #dre dropped out #9th grade me would be so pumped that i can actually draw them ok now #ok im done dumping all of my thoughts about them in the tags #my art #dre #bryn

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we-re-always-alright · 1 year

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I’m at the part in my fic writing where I now have to put in my placeholders as a checklist for the sections (parts) that I need to write to connect the parts that I wrote immediately because I could see how they should go down. is it the most weird way to write??? maybe so but it does get done.

#first: start a file to dump all the exciting parts that you want to write #second: once you’ve got an idea of a story write an outline #third: once you hit 20k words separate the big file into ‘chapter’ files #four: keep writing #five: at some point scope the connective tissue #six: write the connective tissue #seven: once you have the first big sections done finalize actual chapters and start posting #eight: finish the fic #nine: finish posting #bonus: this all happens on my phone because I am unhinged #thoughts? thoughts

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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 2 years

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thinkin about that one kpop tweet that was like "when jaehyun gets a gf i'm not gonna act fake like the rest of y'all and say "i want her 😍" i'm going to kill myself" because they are the most genuine person i've ever heard from on the topic tbh. ik for a fact ppl just act fake when shit like that happens esp when they were super big "i wanna fuck him" fans before that lmao