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#did i just post hell yeah im back again
crebbyhermit · 4 months
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found this in the drafts
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the-deadlock-south · 2 years
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scion
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widevibratobitch · 6 months
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my god. skinny people really just have like. No Idea huh just absolutely not a single clue lmao it's almost funny to watch fr but then id lie if i said i wouldn't fucking kill to be able to be that ignorant
#girl i am SO sorry people react with surprise when you say you're studying to be an opera singer because you're#*checks notes* skinny and attractive. so so sorry that must be literal hell for you huh how will you ever recover :((((#no no please keep talking about how equally bad that is to the brutal fucking fatshaming and ED glorifying#in the industry that me and the only other fat girl in the room were talking about before you interrupted us <3#anyway. we were talking about this one review of a quite famous professional music critic whose only comment about a fat mezzo in the cast#was 'miss xyz.... lose some weight'. not a single word about her singing/acting/whatever. but yeah no you're too sexy for an opera singer#and THAT is the real problem here girl i totally understand yeah <3 thoughts and prayers dearest.#earlier that same day this same girl was standing next to me in her bodycon dress and went#*pointing at her stomach that's so flat its almost concave* 'ughhhh what do i have to do to not look pregnant in this dress 😩😫'#and i said 'girl' and just looked at her and like the sudden horrified realisation on her face was lowkey hysterical#like omg you really did forget you're not talking to your other skinny friends with whom you can pat each other on the backs#and reassure each other that 'dw girl ur not fat at all ur so so sexy!' huh sjshsjshsjs#but yeah i dont like making people uncomfortable irl so i did reassure her she looks hot and pretty and skinny as all shit#let at least one of us have a nice evening and not feel Absolutely Fucking Disgusting ig <3#and the day before that after i saw our (last ever btw never photographing myself with them ever again <3) picture and had a mini break down#the other even skinnier and smaller and petite-er crouched down next to me with the most guilty fucking expression and quietly asked me#if im alright and do i want her to delete those pictures (that she posted on two separate social media pages) and like#the look of immense fucking pity on her was even worse than seeing those pictures#like i know she meant well and was trying to be nice but my god. this really is how you all see me huh#like looking like me would be fate worse than death for yall#not even gonna mention the thing i just learned this friday that the retired ballerina who leads our ballet classes said about me#trying to cheer up the other fat girl who happened to have a bit of an emotional breakdown in the middle of the class :)))))))#like i am sooooooo so glad and honoured to be an inspiration to you. really. always happy to help. the exemplary Fat Girl Who Fucking Sucks#But Doesnt Let It Bother Her <333333#like on one hand. yeah it really does make me wanna jump off a cliff. but on the other. its just hilarious sjdgsjsgsj#you sure are right miss ma'am. i sure don't let this bother me at all. i am famous for my uncanny ability to Not Be Bothered by all this <33#but shes new. its ok. how could she know about the last two years when i was getting panic attacks and sobbing myself to sleep every tuesday#but yeah no. [lauren cooper voice] am i bovvered? am i bovvered tho? i aint even bovvered!
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yourlocalsewerdragon · 9 months
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being a freshman in highschool is so crazy
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todayisafridaynight · 5 months
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grabbing rainbow sherbet vodka for the stream because I know it's what ichi would want 🤞
bro grabbing that fucking super mario vodka what the shit 😭
#snap chats#i dont know what im gonna get...... i SHOULD get soju since i can get more for cheaper#and soju's more potent now innit... but i am a sake fan... sake my best friend..#but i like my sake hot. unless its nigori then OF COURSE you have to have it chilled....#gddammit i left my shot glass at my moms. i didnt think id need it </3#maybe sake's the game then.....#just to make sure i dont ACTUALY black out NO DID I TELL THE TIME I BLAKCED OUT FOR THE FIRST AND ONLY TIME#ILL TELL IT AGAIN SINCE ITS TOPICAL IT WAS THE NIGHT OF MY SISTER'S WEDDING#and i went out post-wedding drinking with my dad and my sis and her hubby yeah#and /im/ a master of acting like im fine when im not when i care to and since i never want to look A Fool in front of my father again#i acted fine after i reached the point where I Very Much Was Not Fine#LIKE THERE WERE DRINKS AT THE WEDDING OOFC BUT I ALSO GOT SOME WHISKEY AT A BAR WE WENT TO#AND SO EVENTUALLY MY DAD AND HIS WIFE AND I ALL GO BACK TO THE HOTEL WE'RE ALL STAYING AT#god theyre so embarrassing i was walking (read: wobbling) back to the room i shared with my bro#and theyre just :) 👋 Good Niiiight We're Gonna Watch You Go Until You're Safe :) 👋 <- im literally down the hall from them#and the fucking. SECOND i get into my room im just hhoUUGGHGHHH BROTHER OF MINE. WHAT IS HAPPENING#i dont remember what happened i know i started watching Why Dont You Play In Hell again and then i suddenly woke up in my bed#I WAS ON THE COUCH LIKE I CANNOT STRESS THE ABRUPTNESS OF ME WAKING UP IN BED#I SAT ON THE COUCH TO WATCH THE MOVIE I THINK I GOT 27 MINUTES IN AND I BLINKED AND I INSTATRANSMISSIONED#hilarious. anyway i refuse to let that happen ever again AFLKEFJKAJ#so sake's the call. i think. idk we'll see what my wallet thinks cause the sake is a lil pricier than the soju..#it a special occasion live a little. is what ill tell myself ☠️
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axemetaphor · 1 year
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@junokami replied to your post "not human anymore (never was)":
holy shit this is so good sorry I'm finding this like 2 years later!!!
dont apologize for reviving old art of mine fr the fact posts never truly die is one of my favorite things about tumblr lkjhgfd
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asfdhgsdkjhgb · 2 years
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me n one of my friends talking (the friend that got me into tma!!) is always rlly funny when i think back after the conversation bc me and him talking is just i can't tell if hes flirting and im oblivious or im flirting and hes oblivious or its both or neither
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laaailuh · 9 months
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hiii, i love your stuff! I was wondering if you can do a fic about miles getting upset because reader is getting too much attention from other guys on a post 😺
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"Delete it."🕸️🕷️
pairing: e!42 miles x black!reader
warnings: light swearing, argument, possessiveness
Summary:  Miles gets upset because you're receiving too much attention from other guys on a bikini post.
a/n: im trying to get these requests done
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I saw it, you can delete it now
???
your new post
hell nah 💀
Seen
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Incoming facetime call from Miles💕
“So you gon' delete it or not?"
“Why would I do that?”
“Cause niggas are commenting some crazy shit and ion like dat.”
“I can't tell if you’re actually being serious right now.”
“Dead ass.”
“Well, I’m not deleting it.”
He rubbed his face in frustration. “I'm not tryna argue with you baby.”
“Then don't?”
“Look, the way these guys are talking under there is making it seem like they don't know you wit' someone."
“I'm sure they do, I tagged your account on my boobs.”
He scrunched his face and then opened up your post again.
“Oh shit, you did.”
You rolled your eyes, "Yeah dumbass."
“Ight, what if you disable the comments?”
“Bye Miles.” You said and hung up the call.
This nigga really don't give up.
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As you were wiping off your makeup, you heard your bedroom door open.
"Yo."
Turning your head towards the voice, you saw your boyfriend standing next to the doorway.
"Who let you in?"
"Your mamma did."
You turned your head back around, facing your vanity.
He sat on the edge of your bed. "I'm sorry about earlier, I realized I was being possessive and controlling."
"Damn right."
He turned your chair sideways, "It’s hard to apologize if you're not looking at me Ma."
You sighed and put your wipes down.
"I bought your shein and sephora cart, should be coming in two weeks or so."
A genuine smile spread across your lips, "You did?"
"Wow, look who's smilin'? Hopefully you can drop this little attitude f'me then."
"You know I was gonna forgive you either way? Kinda just played your self right there."
Miles grinned and pulled you onto his lap.
"Mhm...did I mention how sexy you looked in those photos?"
You shook your head.
He took your hand and kissed your knuckles. "Bueno, te lo digo ahora, princesa." (Well i'm telling you now, princess.")
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newtkive · 3 months
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shift shenanigans - social media au (pt. 2)
note: yes there’s the main work chat w carmy, the secret coworker chat w/o carmy, and the secret secret bestie chat w syd, marcus, and yourself. it would be canon.
warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes
part one
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liked by carmyberzatto, marcus.brooks11 and 40 others
chefboyardee: life lately
see all 9 comments
syd_adamu: that pho was life changing
↳ chefboyardee: i think it was the best i’ve ever had
marcus.brooks11: feet off the table @syd_adamu
↳ chefboyardee: leave my girl alone
↳ richietheking: I knew you guys were lez
↳ syd_adamu: we aren’t and you can’t say that
↳ chefboyardee: oh.. we aren’t? ☹️😔
↳ syd_adamu: 😑
carmyberzatto: 🍲🔥
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THE GOLDEN TRIO
[ 7:45 AM ]
y/n: did you see
did you see
did
you
see
ogmgokggkowkfofsk
syd: pardon??
what did richie do oh my god
did he post another picture of him with the gun from that one day
fuckkkk carmys gonna be so mad
marcus: nope i wish
y/n: he commented on my post 😭😭😭😭
syd: who
marcus: think about it
who else would cause this reaction
y/n: carmy!!!!!!!
i woke up to him commenting 🍲🔥 😍😍😍😍
syd: woah and the heart eyes?
y/n: no that’s my addition
syd: the bar is in hell
HES YOUR BOSS
y/n: AND I WANT HIS BABIES??
marcus: y’all so hype to be pregnant THEN BOOOMMM ‼️ THE BABY’S UGLY AND BALD WITH ECZEMA 😩🤨
syd: LMFAOOOOO WHOS YALL THO????
y/n: bye im done
im leaving for work.
don’t talk to me ever again
done.
marcus: bye 👋
why do you leave so early fool
syd: so she can be teachers pet
marcus: smh always there before everyone
y/n: not true.
syd: i thought you weren’t talking to us
y/n: 😒
marcus: want me to bring y’all an iced latte again
y/n: …. 😁
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WORK
[ 8:15 AM ]
y/n: AYOOOO
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great job cleaning up after work yesterday 😊👍
richie: Is this a joke?
y/n: why would i joke about such a thing
carmy: Y/n what are you doing
y/n: u said to tell everyone their housekeeping is shitty
carmy: No I said I was going to tell them that, and you said no I’ll do it
This is not what I meant
y/n: well you yell too much
marcus: ouch
that’s my station 😔
carmy: Well clean it better
y/n: im using reverse psychology and positive reinforcement
carmy: Not what that means
y/n: well notice how no one’s mad at me
im making alliances day by day
richie: You’ve worked here for two years and we are already friends
y/n: so you’re saying you aren’t my ally
richie: No
We are definitley in an alliance
y/n: love u richie
richie: Don’t go that far
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chefboyardee’s instagram stories
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WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩
[ 3:25 PM ]
y/n:
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he so fine im bouta cermmmmm
syd: …..
marcus: :O
y/n: why are you acting shocked
like i haven’t said this daily
tina: Woah girl who?
y/n: HUH
richie: I’m not in the picture I don’t get it
syd: let’s just keep working before carmy notices
tina: I don’t care I’m on smoke break. Who are you talking about girl? Spill the tea..
marcus: she was talking about me you guys
y/n: the guy in the back
oh i mean yeah marcus
tina: The meat delivery guy? He has a wife..
y/n: we are having an affair
marcus: no it’s about me
richie: I didn’t know Marcus and Y/n were a thing..
tina: Something ain’t right. No way they are.
marcus: we aren’t it’s just our sense of humor
y/n: i was just being funny!
tina: What did Jeff just yell inside?
syd: came out of the office and said “just cuz we’re slow doesn’t mean you can play on your phones” 👍💯
tina: Whatever. No chance Y/n meant Marcus. You got the hots for Jeffrey?
y/n: what no
tina: Well I wouldn’t blame you. He’s cute
y/n: OMG RIGHTTTTTTT
its the tattoos isn’t it
richie: You have to be fucking joking
tina: I was playing..
y/n: im confused
syd: that was cruel
marcus: who cares it’s not a big deal
y/n: so you don’t think he’s cute tina?? ☹️☹️
tina: No he is cute… for you 😝
y/n: this is humiliating
richie: I’ll tell him
y/n: NO
stop
sSTOP THATS NOT FUNNY
richie im not joking i’ll put a bomb in your floorboards
richie: I’m just fucking with you kid
tina: This isn’t over.
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THE GOLDEN TRIO:
[ 3:40 PM ]
syd: y/n….
marcus: you look like a ghost y/n
y/n: i cannot believe i sent that to the wrong gc
i’m done im so done
marcus: stop looking so sad it’s making me feel bad
syd: it’s okay! just be thankful it wasn’t to the work groupchat with him in it..
marcus: true it could be worse
y/n: i guess so
thank you for trying to cover for me marcus
marcus: anytime you know i got you
syd: let’s get back to work before we start looking obvious
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tastesousweet · 18 days
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⭒ blurb : “if a girl walks up to you …”
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bf!hamzah x poc!reader
summary : headcannon/blurb based on the tiktok trend “if a girl walks up to you and flirts what are you doing?”
mickey speaks : randomly had this thought tdy & hamzah has been on my mind lately soooo this one’s for my slushy girls 💐 PRETTY FLUFFY (but i hope it’s not like … cringy instead of cute)
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you’re both fully in pajamas, tucked and wrapped in each other’s arms when you come across the tiktok trend that has flooded your for you page as of late
hamzah’s naturally aloof (due to a long day spent with you and it currently being almost 1 AM) and unfocused as he fights sleep while watching his tenth episode of teen titans.
so when you quickly unravel yourself from him and move across the room, adjusting your low hanging sweatpants accordingly, he’s dumbfounded and asking you what you’re doing and why you’re leaving him.
“you’re so dramatic, can you come here? i wanna do something”
“insulting me and asking a favor in the same sentence…” he sighs then pauses with a hand closed over his mouth, muffling “wow.”
literally and metaphorically tugging his arm to get him to participate but he’s adamant on knowing what exactly he’s getting up for
when he’s almost out of bed you tell him it’s “this tiktok thing” and he exaggerates a “NOOOO” and releases all of his weight so that he falls back on the bed and you practically fall with him due to your connected hands
of course he’s eventually convinced with a few kisses
hamzah fiddles with your hand while listening to you explain: “okay, pretend im not here and some girl comes up to you at target.”
he just stands in the center of the frame looking around the room as you walk away then return in character
you approach obnoxiously and begin some surface level flirting “hey good looking”
“you can back up a little bit,” he looks you up and down
“pause- did you just check her out???”
“no? you know there was definitely some judgement there.”
“sure ok, resume… now.” you play with your hair, “what’s someone as cute as you doing in a place like this?”
“bruh, we’re at a target” hamzah laughs through his words
you stop your role again, “and why are you taking time to respond to her?!”
“oh kill me for being distracted! you couldn’t have hired an ugly actress?”
you look up at him with squinted eyes, “you need to learn to resist the hot girls too!”
“i’m tryingggg!!!!” he rubs his eye harshly, “restart, restart.”
it cuts to a clip of you two acting once more
“yeah, we both loooveee target we’re, like, so alike,” you go to grab his arm and he turns completely away from you
“ok, and i have a girlfriend” he pretends to grab something off of a shelf
“that doesn’t matter if i don’t see her…”
you continue pestering so he resorts to plugging his ears with his fingers and talking over you, repeating that he has a girlfriend
eventually he turns back to face you and yells “OH MY GOD GIRL, I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!!” right into your smiley face.
he then fully manhandles you over his shoulder and spins you around before dropping you onto the plushness of your shared bed
he doesn’t even look to check on you (you’re outrageously laughing and yelling “it hurts!” in regards to your poor stomach cramping)
he runs to grab your phone from the desk while recording himself in faux panic, “guys, you can’t tell y/n i just beat up a woman please, please, pl- AHHH”
he and the video are cut off by you jumping on his back and attacking his cheek with kisses through your loud giggles.
you cuddle in bed again after turning off the lights and hamzah rewatches it for a third time since you’ve posted it to your spam account (everytime it’s over he says, “no, that was actually pretty funny.”)
by the morning it has thousands of likes and plenty of comments either full of love for the two of you together or calling hamzah the funniest man in the world (they’re just like u fr!)
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lix-ables · 1 year
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⌗ rich boy things – hyunjin + car sex .
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🥡 smut includes, fem!reader, dry humping, hand jobs (while he’s on the phone with his father), mentions of ruined orgasms (because he absolutely loves teasing the shit out of you), lovesick + pussy drunk hyunjin, etc etc. word count: 971. (MINORS DNI.)
💌 note: its been a while but hihi, im back!! i was initially going to post something else??? but this has been in my drafts since april
©lix-ables 2022. consider leaving comments and feedbacks !! happy reading ‹33
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hyunjin was annoyingly pretty and he knew it, so sneaking around on the campus way past your curfew can be excused, right? 
here you were in his car’s passenger seat with your hand wrapped around his dick while he was on an important call. how did you know that? because he told you it was his father, and still your fingers played with the tip, your palm resting under your chin as you watch him shut his eyes. 
his other hand moves to wrap around the wrist that was currently busy, and he turns to look at you. “yes dad, i understand,” he sighs and replies. “no im not out racing. i’m with the boys. panting? have you thought maybe it's your hearing?” hyunjin clears his throat and shifts in his seat, making your hand fall on his thigh. but that gave you even more of a reason to stroke him instead of just touching him. a little teasing wouldn’t hurt no one. your thumb rubs circles on his tip before wrapping your whole hand around it, earning a small grunt from him.
“listen i need to go. they need my help with something. yes, i’ll call you tomorrow.” 
“you like what you see don’t you, darlin’?” hyunjin’s voice stops you from your task, and makes you look at him. he stares at you, smiling before setting his phone in his jacket pocket.
his hand finds your bare thigh and you curse yourself for wearing pj shorts while it was cold outside. “i thought i told you the call was important,” he mumbles, his fingers snaking all the way up to the hem of your shirt and tugging it toward him. “i want this off,” he nods at your shorts, and you bite your lip in frustration. “i thought we were here to talk,” a whimper leaves your throat when he pulls you to him. “we’re talking. this is good communication, don’t you think?” you let him pull you onto his lap, and you struggle out of your shorts in the process. “i was getting ready for bed, it’s way past curfew what if someone –” hyunjin presses a kiss to your lips, his hands wrapped around your waist and it just dawns to you, that his dick is still out, and is now between the two of you. “no one is going to come here, and you know that,” he smiles again, his finger twirling around a strand of hair that wasn’t held together by the band. 
you hum in response, the chill breeze making goosebumps form on your bare skin and you grind against hyunjin’s dick. you’re probably going to have to buy new underwear but fuck it. “this again? and you said you wanted to talk,” he smirks, tugging on the strand of hair in his hand, and his fingers find your shirt, pulling it up so he has more access. your hand wraps around his wrist when you feel him move your underwear aside, and he clicks his tongue. “baby, let me in hmmm? it’s not fair that only you get to do the teasing. it works both ways. besides, no one’s around so i could probably edge you say, four to five times? i’m sure you can take it yeah? because i sure as hell want to see that tight and pretty pussy of yours clenching around my fingers when i don’t let you come.” hyunjin tilts his head to look at you, he shifts the material a bit more before resting two fingers to your clit, and pinches it a little. your thighs shudder at the feeling and he leans back against the seat. “you’d beg me to let you come, but you won’t. you like it too much hmm?”
you nod and his hand reaches down and finds the adjustment lever at the side and moves the seat back a bit more, so there is space for both of you. “when i didn’t see you in class today, i thought something had happened,” he mumbles as he moves his free hand to stroke his dick, bringing it closer to your entrance. “i missed you today, doll.” hyunjin’s fingers work on rubbing random patterns to your clit and you feel yourself getting even wetter than you were ten minutes ago. 
“you were supposed to come pick me up, idiot,” you lean forward close to his ear and press a small kiss to his neck. your hands hold onto his shoulders, your nails digging into the leather jacket that he was wearing before going back to grind against his dick. 
“just the tip, i swear,” he rests his head at the crook of your neck, his free hand now holding you close to him as you move faster against him. you’re breathing faster now and your fingers come to rub your clit, applying more friction. “baby, let me –” hyunjin swears, his hand shivering and you turn your head to the window – it’s drizzling. the sound of rain muffling out your moans and hyunjin’s swears as he manages to guide your hips toward him, his tip close to your pussy, before entering just a little. “that’s it baby, fuck.” 
his hands rest at your lower back, his fingers slowly pulling up your shirt from the back as you ride against him. you’re mumbling something about having a real talk after this, but all hyunjin can hear is your whines and whimpers as he pulls himself out just to replace his dick with his fingers. 
“you’re coming on my tongue and my dick once we get to your room,” he grunts, feeling your walls clench around his fingers. “not yet, darlin’. hold it for me.” with his fingers now buried inside you, and your body grinding up against his palm, hyunjin meant what he said. teasing works both ways.
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taglist: @hwajin @starlostseungmin @chrisbahng @niinjo @chvnnie @lixhues @joonszn @cherryhanji @blueberry-chan @dnadoublefelixx @ethereallino @stuckwithaphobiaa @chewryy @bangchanbabygirlx @zizis-world12 @aimeexx @whatudowhennooneseesyou @nightlychans @americanokisses @katieraven @comet-falls @hwan-g @svintsandghosts @idek-at-this-point-lol @es-kay-zee @writerracha @bbujiikseu @lethallyprotected @lino-jagiyaa
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jeansplaytoy · 8 months
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𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥
part two
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conniexreader, playing with feelings (not readers), ex talks, cursing, alcohol, weed, aave usage, sexual references.
sorry that i took so long with this part y’alllll, and i know it’s honestly really short, it’s really a side chapter that i’m posting before all the good stuff happens.
⇦ part one here | part three here ⇨
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you stared at connie from across the room. he was sitting in the kitchen again, and you were in the living room with mikasa and sasha now.
“they def’ fucked.” sasha whispered to mikasa as they both sat on different sides of you. mikasa nodded while staring back and forth from you and connie.
from the kitchen, ony did the same thing.
“bruh what is y’all doin, bro? y’all been staring at each other for bout five minutes.” ony glanced at connie from his phone. connie smacked his lips and looked down at his drink. “nothing.” he muttered while shaking his head.
“yall i hate that nigga.” you frowned, realizing that connie’s gaze had been off of you for a few seconds. “girl you say that about every dude that beat them doonies down real bad.” mikasa mumbled, leaning up to get her cup. “okay but i really hate that one. nigga took full control over me like i was his bitch or sum.”
“so you fucked him?” sasha muttered. you hummed. “he fucked me.”
“disgusting.” mikasa scoffed with a small smile before swallowing the rest of her drink.
you stared at the ground, shaking your head before looking at connie again, who looked at you after a seconds. he chuckled a little before standing up, putting his phone in his pocket while walking through the crowd, towards the front door.
“hold up.” you said before standing up and following him through the crowd. some seconds passed before you finally made it outside, instantly seeing him stand beside the door.
“you obsessed, huh?” he shook his head, putting a blunt to his lips and lighting it. you stood in front of him, not saying anything before rolling your eyes. “not wit’ you. who you think you is?” you tilted your head. connie laughed. “girl i’m connie fuckin’ springer. hoes love me.”
“well i ain’t no hoe, so ion love you.” you rolled your eyes. connie hummed. “oh, but you loved me an hour ago.” he said, tilting his head at you while exhaling smoke in your face, making you move your head to the side a little.
“i don’t like nothing about you. you prolly got hoes anyway.” you muttered. connie slowly smiled. “hell yeah. and i know you got some too, so we both equal, huh.”
“i guess so.” you exhaled, glancing over to the side. you saw a group of girls glaring at you and whispering things to each other. “i got yo hoes mad. forgive me if they don’t want you no more.” you said, smiling to yourself as they walked off.
“we aint together, i can have em back whenever. i saw some muh’fuckas lookin at me too. ian gon trip tho.” connie whispered the last part, passing you his blunt.
you grabbed it, putting it to your lips and inhaling deeply before exhaling through your nose.
“i see you stuck to me now.” he raised his eyebrows, putting his hands on his sweatpants pockets. you tilted your head, shaking it and staring at the ground, flicking the ash beside you. “not really. i just wanna see what you bout. is that a bad thing?” you raised your eyebrows, looking back up at connie, who just shrugged.
“nah, not completely.” connie mumbled. “i just wanna make sure you ain’t one of them hoes that go around fucking everybody.”
“so i’m a hoe to you, now?” you squint at him. “nahhh, no, ion mean it like that.” connie lazily laughed. “i mean, an actual hoe. im just tryna make sure you ain’t for everybody.” he admitted, making you purse your lips together. “and you ain’t? you talking to me like you tryna fuck wit me.”
“i fuck on girls when i feel like i’m gon like it, not when a girl feel like she like me. i really just be staying to myself most of the time.” he muttered.
before you could say something back, someone tapped your shoulder once. “excuse me.” a girl raised her eyebrow at you before wrapping her arms around connie’s neck. “heyyy, baby. what you doin here?” she tilted her head, completely ignoring your presence.
“excuse you.” you muttered, watching her. she glanced back at you for a second. “who she posed to be?” she pointed back at you with her thumb while looking up at connie with a slick look on her face.
“we was just talkin.” connie mumbled, patting her waist a little. when she got off of him, she looked back at you, once more. “i’ll see you at home tonight.” she smiled, softly squeezing his hand before walking off.
you watched her, looking her up and down. “so that’s the hoe you cheated on for me? and multiple other bitches?” you pointed at her, giving connie back his blunt as he sighed.
“we together, but we on and off. she just be doing that shit when she see me wit somebody else, don’t worry bout her.”
“i promise you i ain’t worried.” you scoffed before shaking your head, reaching towards the front door to open it. “wait, where you goin?” connie frowned. “home. this party lame as hell. and all i got tonight was some ran through, good dick.” you muttered to connie as he slowly smiled.
“you liked it.” he whispered to you. you bit your lip softly before shaking your head.
“for now.”
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luvingshidou · 27 days
Text
I HATE MYSELF RN. I had a request about how bllk boys would react walking in on us like doing ballet stretches or doing ballet and like we haven't told them so they'd be surprised , and I was writing, and by accident I posted it wouldn't let me private it, and I deleted it. CUZ IM SLOW BUT anways here's ur request, anon!!! (I'm acc stupid pls forgive me😞😞💔💔💔💔)
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MESMERISED.
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bllk boy x fem! ballerina! reader
THANK U ANON ILY🫶🫶🫶😇😇😇 SORRY AGAINNN
established relationship
probs ooc
characters: rin itoshi, shidou ryusei & michael kaiser.
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RIN ITOSHI
Rin was coming back from practice he was earlier than usual. He texted you saying that he was coming home early, but you didn't answer he figured you were just sleeping like you usually were. As soon he got to the house, he walked to the living room to find you mid stretch. Your ballet shoes on the floor beside you. Shit, how were you going to explain this to Rin.
"Rin, look, I'm sorry for not telling you—" You say you felt bad for keeping it a secret from him. Rin didn't say anything back but just stood there in suprise.
"Why??? Why didn't you tell me??? It's not like I was going to hate you for it." Rin finally says, a very, very slight frown on his face.
"Yeah, yeah, I know, I actually haven't told anyone, I was scared people would make fun of me for ballet and doing ballet shows." You say it was true you were scared you get made fun of, so you ultimately kept it a secret.
"That's a stupid fucking reason, why would I make fun of you for ballet???" Rin looked down at you raising an eyebrow. You knew you should have told him sooner, but you were you'd always get nervous and pussy out of saying it to him. H
"I knowwww, I'm sorry." You say, frowning slightly. You felt guilty for not telling him. Really guilty.
"Just next time, let me see one of your ballet shows, alright???" He says, smiling slightly as he looked at you.
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SHIDOU RYUSEI
Shidou was currently walking to your house. He was bored and wanted to hang out with you. As he walked to your house, he rang the doorbell but no answer, he rang the doorbell again but you still hadn't answered. Luckily, he may or may not have stolen your spare keys. He opened the door and called out to you.
"BABEEEEEEEE." He called out, but he was met with silence. He walked over to your living room to see you practing your positioning, headphones in which somehow blocked you from hearing him. You nearly felt soul leave your body when you saw him stood there.
"Ryu, what the fuck—" You say, but were immediately met with Shidou wrapping his arms around your waist, spinning you around.
"PRINCESSSS, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU DID BALLET?!?!?" Shidou says, grinning as he continues to spin you around. He continues spinning you for another couple of second before he stops.
"Ryu— I was planning on telling you sometime, I was." You say, letting out a sigh. "I just didn't know how to tell you."
"Yeah, yeah, doesn't matter now!!! Ya know, you should have told meeee I could have cheered my baby on." He says, still grinning, still hugging your waist.
"You can come to my next compensation???" You say, smiling softly at him as he clung to you.
"REALLYYYYYYYY??????" He says as he starts to spin you around again, a wide ass grin still on his face.
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MICHAEL KAISER
Michael was coming back from a photo shoot, some brand or something. For once, he was actually early coming home to you. He was tired from posing all day, so he couldn't wait to cuddle up with you. As soon as he opened the door, he caught you mid spin. You moved so gracefully that he couldn't help but stare at you he was practically mesmerised by you. As you finished, you saw Michael standing there.
"Micha, why are ya home so early?!?!?" You say, slightly surprised, your cheeks flushed from embarrassment. You haven't told Michael that you do ballet shows sometimes.
"Fucking hell angel, you move so gracefully, I think I might be hypnotised." Michael say, chucking slightly as he walks up to you, smirking to himself.
"Micha, I wanted to tell you I did ballet and ballet shows, but— it could distract you from your football—" You tried to explain yourself as best as you could but Michael cut you off.
"That doesn't matter, love. I want to watch your show, no matter what, you hear me." Michael says, his smirking growing wider. "Can't wait to tell everyone this pretty ballerina is mine."
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(GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS FOR CHARACTERS IF YOU WANT A PART 2)
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heartofwritiing · 3 months
Note
could you write wilbur soot confessing his love to a crush? 👉👈
something about how he's been pinning after this crush for so long, but the crush seems a bit avoidant or something
but that's because the crush also has a crush on him and is very very shy qpwimsmanssjslslek sorry im not good with requests
You and me need never be, lonely again.
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Paring: cc!wilbur soot x fem!cc!reader
authors note: Thank you so much for requesting! I hope you don't mind the reader being a content creator and i’m sorry she’s not super shy because im not really sure how to write shy lol but i hope you like the request! I just thought it would add to the idea and I've wanted to do something similar to this for a while! This is a request back from august. I am so sorry this took me so long to get out. I've been going through some shit irl but I'm finally starting to come back to writing because I genuinely love it and posting on here since it is my safe space!
line from this prompt list
warnings: friends-lovers, reader lives in the US, brief description of anxiety, the reader sends mixed signals, swearing, kinda angsty, happy end, super unedited!
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"No! That was such bullshit!"
The voice of Tommyinnit ran through the speakers of your computer causing you to let out a chuckle that you were the reason for his outburst.
You were playing Gang Beasts on stream with some of your closest friends, and you had grabbed Tommy's character and thrown him off the map by picking him up.
Laughter rang out amongst the group as the screen card popped up saying your username won. You cheered as everyone groaned but dispersed into 'ggs' then that's when everyone started to bid goodnight. You hadn't realized it had been four hours of streaming and playing games, showing the good time you were having with friends.
"Alright chat, that's gonna be it for me today! Please remember to click the follow button if you're new to stream that way you'll know when I go live! byeee!" You did your outro, quickly closed your stream down, and logged out of Twitch.
It was an uneventful stream session, thank god. You’ve noticed more and more how your chat gets when you even mention wilburs name.
“you logging off completely y/n/n?” Ranboos voices asks through your earbuds.
“No, I’ll play a few more rounds if you guys are down,” you respond.
“HELL YEAH!” Tommy boasted. “IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS THIS TIME Y/N/N!”
“Oh, it’s on gremlin child!” you replied.
Wilbur listened to this conversation on his end, letting out a chuckle. He honestly doesn’t know why you make him laugh so easily. Anytime you threw a genius comment toward Tommy that was deemed insulting, or calling him a name Wilbur fell for you more and more. If only he had the guts to tell you.
You as well wouldn’t admit it but every time Wilbur laughed all you could feel was butterflies punching your stomach and a smile that made your cheeks hurt. You were also falling hard for him.
After about another fifteen minutes, Tommy and Ranboo had bid their goodbyes for the night and ended their calls. You were left in call with Wilbur, the silence could be cut with a knife.
Knowing him for two years was hard. Wilbur was everything to you. He was funny, smart, charming, and overall made you feel comfortable. Something you thought you’d never have with anyone. Having to only talk on call and video made things easier for you. On call you could hide your blushes and smiles from him, but not from your chat who caught every interaction between you and Wilbur when you streamed. The constant ’Wilbur x name confirmed?’ tweets and comments in your twitch chat were recently repetitive and you wondered when you became such a beacon of attention. It gave you such anxiety to have all eyes on you when you wanted to spend time with your best friend.
It was getting obnoxious to the point where you debated making a tweet to get the fans to stop shipping you both, even if you were dating it was no one’s business. Still you never dared to say anything out of fear of stans coming at you in anyway. You didn’t need to draw more unwanted attention to yourself.
“You logging off? it’s getting pretty late for you,” you spoke up.
“Yeah, we both should, by the way what times your flight tomorrow?”
Right, you were flying less than eight hours from now to finally meet your friends inperson. You all had planned this for months, booking hotels and flights, making a whole deal about it. Then you really wouldn’t be able to hide from him for a whole week.
“Around seven-thirty,” you reply.
He hums.
“I’ll let you get some rest, see you tomorrow night darling,” his voice purposely going lower on the ‘darling’ part that you almost didn’t catch it, making your knees go weak.
“N-night Will,” you stutter, end call and slump back into your desk chair trying to calm your racing heart. Meanwhile Wilbur all the way across the ocean in Brighton has a smile plastered across his lips.
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About a plane ride, a train ride and car ride later, you are stood in the hotel lobby in Brighton waiting for a late Tommy and Wilbur to arrive. You were super nervous to meet them. Having only been friends for what was a short time, it felt like you knew them for years, so why was this so scary?
You debated in your mind about texting them to see if they were close by, but you didn’t want to come off as annoying and impatient. You wanted to make a good first impression, but again these were your friends. Why were you shaking with nerves?
You fiddled with your thumb’s absentmindedly until you felt a pair of hands on your shoulders, causing you to jump out of your skin. You spin around to be met with a cackling Tommy who is clucking his stomach from laughing so hard at your reaction.
“Fucking gremlin child,” you huffed under your breath, not realizing the evident blood rushing to your cheeks from being startled so easily.
“It’s nice to hear you say that in person,” a deep voice said from behind Tommy. You shifted your eyes to see a very tall Wilbur, who was wearing his round glasses pushed up his nose and curly hair fluffed to the side.
His dark sweater selves rolled up to revel his arms tucked into his side as he gazed at you with a soft smile. Finally after two years of being separated by seas, your best friend was standing right in front of you. It was surreal to say the least.
You laugh and jump forward to embrace him. The number of times you’d tease him over-call about his height made you regret your words. He towers over you as he bends down to your level to give you a long awaited hug. His arms are soft, yet firm as they wrap around your back and cage you into his embrace.
You both pull away, both grinning from ear to ear. He looks down at you with a hint of something behind his eyes, he seems to be genuinely happy to finally meet you in person. which makes you blush at the thought of him looking forward to this moment since you told him you wanted to come here. You're quickly brought out of your moment when Tommy speaks up behind you.
"So he gets a hug and I don't?!" his tone slightly offended.
"Yup, cause you're annoying," you bring a hand up to flick his forehead, causing him to let out a irritated noise. you had only just met him in person but something compelled you to do that. Maybe it was just a reason for you to break the ice and it was working because you all broke out into giggles.
“Im just kidding Tom,” you motion him into a hug.
Wilbur just stood observing the entire interaction between his two best friends. He was thrilled to finally have you here, he couldn't wait to show you all his favorite places, hang out, and get to know better in person. Finally.
The two boys had managed to drag you to the beach, and even though it was freezing Tommy insisted on going to the arcade to try and win another 'vlog gun'. After suffering through loosing a few games, Wilbur managed to win you a little stuffed cat that you promptly named Mr Whiskers.
It was endearing to watch him struggle at most of the games so he could get enough tickets. It was all worth it in his eyes to embarrass himself by losing ski-ball to you, twice, he saw the evident blush on your cheeks and the look you gave him. As if he hung the stars in the sky just for you. It made his chest hurt in a good way.
The rest of the night went smoothly for the most part. More and more, Wilbur had been getting more touchy with you. Though you didn’t mind it at all, maybe he didn’t realize how much he was putting his hand on you as you walked side by side as he led you through crowds. How he held doors open for you. It was sweet.
Maybe he was doing it just to be nice. That small voice in the back of your head telling you thats all it was. Because thats what friends do.
Eventually, the three of you met up with Ranboo and Charlie. They were just how they were online, which made meeting them a whole lot better. Walking around Brighton, making inside jokes and teasing each other. You hadn't been this happy in a while. You can remember the last time you genuinely enjoyed yourself, your friends were the product of that. You were fortunate to have found them when you did. Quarantine was hard on you, much like the rest of the world. So when you were invited to join a group game call, you couldn't pass up the opportunity. That night, something had clicked between you and Wilburt specifically. Then you started to join more calls with the gang and the rest was history.
Sometime in the night, you found yourself walking behind with Wilbur by your side chatting about nothing in particular. Until the comfortable silence filled the air between you, you took a moment to take in the nightlife of Brighton. The street lamps guide your way through the beachside and the pubs on the corner were starting to fill up. As if the city was somehow more alive at night.
"I'm really glad you came," Wilbur speaks, sincerely.
You stop your wide-eyed gaze to look at him and smile softly at him.
"I am too," You gush. "I'm honestly considering moving here,” Now he’s smiling.
Wilbur's brain starts to go a million miles a second. His heart leaped at the thought of you living closer to him. Seeing you in person everyday seemed like a dream come true. He begins to slow his step and a frown replaces your smile. Your own thoughts running rampant now, assuming you might've freaked him out by voicing that you wanted to move here so soon after meeting him in person. Maybe it made him uncomfortable. it was too soon to say something that bold. You had only just met him in person today.
"Listen, Y/N..."
You stopped and your brain got the best of you with his tone. You shouldn't have said anything like that to him. It was too soon.
“I don’t want to sound cheesy, but I need you to know how I feel.”
Oh... OH.
You knew what this was leading to. Realizing why he was acting the way he was all day.
"I like you, more than like you. You're funny, beautiful, smart, and everything I could've hoped for in a best friend. But I can't keep pretending I don't think of you when we aren't talking, or how when I look at you my chest hurts."
Wilbur liked you. Really liked you. You would jump for joy and shout to the rooftops about how much you reciprocate his feelings but something in the back of your mind told you not to. The doubt in your mind from yourself, both your fans online judging. It made you slowly start to panic. You felt as though you weren’t good enough for him.
You saw the aftermath of when his fans shipped him and Niki together. It almost ruined their friendship. You didn’t want that.
"Please say something?" he stops his rant to notice you are staring up at him with blank eyes.
"I-uh," you stutter. "can we maybe not do this now?"
His face falls and it instantly crushes you with regret. His disappointment shows as he gives you a forced smile and nods.
"Y-yeah, let's catch up with everyone, Tommy wants to do this big stream at his place." he gestures for you to move along with him, all while you feel horrible for doing this.
You wish you could take back what you said. You know you've hurt him, It's painfully obvious when he doesn't talk to you for the rest of the walk. You glance at him a few times but he keeps his eyes forward and stoic.
If only you didn’t let your anxiety get the best of you. You had to talk to him at some point, but for now you pushed it aside. The rest of the group didn’t seem to notice the sudden tension between the two of you, if they did nothing was remarked about it.
As you continued the journey to Tommys flat, you and Wilbur still walked silently side by side. With what little courage you had, you reached out your hand and held his in a moment of truce. Giving it a gentle squeeze with your fingers to seal the deal that you would talk later. You heard his soft inhale at the contact and he squeezes back. Your shoulders drop from the weight of tension being lifted off. Maybe, just maybe this ment this conversation wasn’t over.
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Back at Tommy’s, the monitor in his cramped bedroom with everyone packed together like sardines; shows the twitch chat flashing by with viewers comments.
“WELCOME BACK TO THE STREAM EVERYONE!” Tommy shouted causing you to hold your ear in slight pain.
“God Tommy, could you be anymore loud?” you wince.
“Look who’s here chat!” he gestured to you with his hands, ignoring your complaints. You waved at the webcam as chat went crazy. He introduced everyone else as they all broke out into a chorus of conversation.
Wilbur was mostly quiet on your left, an occasional sarcastic comment made here and there. You could practically feel his eyes buring into the side of your head. Hopping chat wasn’t noticing how he was looking at you, your eyes shifting to your lap to fidget with your fingers.
Out of view, Wilbur reached over and took your hand picking at the skin around your nails. You had stopped your nervous tick and opted for squeezing his hand. Nobody seemed to notice the sudden shift in both your behavior.
Suddenly you felt tense, the feeling of having everyone’s eyes on you made your mind start to spiral.
Letting go of Wilburs hand, you quickly had excused yourself and walked out of Tommys room and into the kitchen.
Everyone had a mix of concerned and worried expressions as they watched you leave the room but didn’t say anything about it. Wilbur had followed you in pursuit. He found you in the kitchen hyperventilating Your panic had taken over and now your lungs were paying the price for the burning sensation from not breathing.
“it's okay,” he took your face into his hands and held you. “just follow my breaths.
he took a breath in, and you followed.
When you came to your senses, Wilbur had asked you what was wrong and you just began to cry. Everything came rushing down on you.
“Im sorry. I-Im sorry I shot you down earlier, Im sorry for h-hurting you. I-i,” you stuttered over yourself. Wilbur shakes his head at you. He probably thinks you’re such a mess.
“I don’t understand, I know you like me too, so I don’t understand why you rejected me after I poured my heart out to you. Then you go and hold my hand while we're walking.'
Wilbur was right. Playing with his feelings was selfish and cruel. He was completely in the right to question you. You were practically flirting with one another all day, and then you shut down his advances of trying to open your relationship.
“I do wanna be with you.” you sniff. “I'm just really scared.”
"Why darling? It's just me, your silly old Wil." he pokes at your sides causing you to let out a giggle. Your best friend, who looked at you with the prettiest chocolate eyes, who stayed on call with you all night when you couldn't sleep. The only person you told your deepest fears and dreams to.
You take a shaky inhale as you begin to explain. "I don't wanna ruin our friendship, we have something I've never experienced with anyone else in my life. I care about you too much to let me be a distraction in your life, and I am scared that the fans will-"
Wilbur interrupts you with a hand on your arm.
"The fans? darling who cares about that, I care way too much about you to even care about what strangers think. It's no one's business who I, or you for that matter have a relationship with." he clarified. "I love you and nothing or no one will ever change that."
Those three words made your heart leap in your throat.
"Y-you l-love me?" you stutter in disbelief.
"Yes, of course I do."
Tears roll down the apples of your cheeks as you lean forward to engulf Wilbur into another hug. His arms wrapped around your back reciprocating your embrace. your face buried in his neck as you inhale his cologne and your tears dampen his skin.
"I love you too Wil," you whisper.
He squeezes you closer to him in return and this time you don't hold yourself back...
-
taglist: @trashcanduck @ax-y10 @mysticalsoot @idontreallyexistyet @loonalvjy @toastyliltoasts41
198 notes · View notes
landonorizzz · 3 months
Text
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SUMMARY: pierre is not the boyfriend of the year that everyone thought. his girlfriend is left to fend for herself, fourtunately she seems to have good people in her corner
PAIRING: pierre gasly x ex! fem! ferrari media team! oc , [redacted] x fem! ferrari media team! oc (no faceclaim)
WARNINGS: mentions of cheating, cursing
A/N: im finally after my exams, this is somehow AGAIN - twitter heavy, there's this one twitter thread that is so obvoiusly halfassed, please ignore it :))
masterlist | previous next
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liked by charles_leclerc, mickschumacher and others
marcilazzaro1 a cheeky lil pitstop in heaven 🤠 see you in singapore
see all comments...
madi_races what'd you mean pitstop?? i thought LA was the pitstop?
nyoomf1 is that... seb?
mickschumacher 👀
↳ marcilazzaro1 stop acting all mysterious, you were there too
↳ ilpredestinatox sorry what
redclerc is she in Switzerland???
↳ redmilton i mean, it looks like it?
↳ hammertime_1 but why tho
↳ redmilton her and sebastian are friends, it's not like she needs a permission to visit him
forzalec16 girll it's tuesday, aren't you supposed to be IN singapore already??
charles_leclerc still can't believe you didn't take me
↳ marcilazzaro1 yeah, it's not like you have a car to drive this weekend or something 🤔
ferra_ria who is she?? why is everyone so obsessed with her still? i thought she and pierre broke up?
↳ screwderriaf1 we've been obsessed way before she was with pierre. she's actually on ferrari's media team and she's friends with a lot of drivers
↳ shithappens skylar (blondecedes on twitter) actually has a thread on it if you want to learn more, it's her pinned post
↳ ferra_ria thanks! i'll check it out for sure
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marcilazzaro1 posted on her story!
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liked by lance_stroll, estebanocon and others
marcilazzaro1 Singapore, you've been good - p1 and p4 for the team ;) Congratulations on your podium landonorris !
tagged: charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, lance_stroll, estebanocon, yukitsunoda0511, landonorris
see all comments...
charlie_sun did yuki take you to the restaurant?
↳ marcilazzaro1 yes! it was really lovely
yukitsunoda0511 we need to do this more often
↳marcilazzaro1 for sure! just name the time and place ;)
quickstappen yuki looks so cute!!
shithappens she's back in the paddock!! mother's back in the paddock
redmilton_ i like this new post aesthetic, very cinematic
↳ redclerc reputation era?? ↳ redmilton_ who knows, maybeeee
landonorris P2 babyy
lewishamilton It's good to see you back
↳ marcilazzaro1 feeling's mutual
barbiegirl i'd just like to know how could pierre fumble so badly, like dude, she's perdect basically
pierrespookie ugh, you're still here? i thought she quit.
nyoomf1 new lance content! hell yeah!
↳ strollingaway i didn't know they were friends??
↳ nyoomf1 same, looks like they started hanging out after her and pierre broke up 🤷 tbf i don't really care, i'm just happy we're getting the content
↳ strollingaway fair.
madi_races can't wait for the media content from this weekend, it's gonna be great i can feel it
↳ darth_nando it's gonna be elite, marci told me herself
carlando333 no carlos mention? 👀
↳ shithappens sorry, are you blind? he's literally in the pictures
↳ barbiegirl she's also not a carlos fan page, official ferrari account already congratulated him
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marcilazzaro1 posted a story!
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"Quali-tea Time with Sarah Scott (Redbull's secret weapon with Marceline)"
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madi's radio: pt.3 is finally here, sorry for the long wait, 4th is already in the works so hopefully it'll be a shorter wait ;) i actually planned to put more into this part but,,, 30 pics limit.
(also, valentines coming up, i was thinking of doing short sepcials if i have the time, if i do, which drivers would you like to see?)
taglist: @sunny44 @rockyhayzkid @biancathecool @unluckyyoshi @woozarts @janeholt3
click here to be added to the carved my name taglist!
DISCLAIMER: i do not know anything about this people, this is not real life, this is just something for fun, i do not know anythings about their life or personalities!
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yellowharrington · 3 months
Text
jaded - chapter 4, carmy berzatto x reader
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pairing + fandom: carmen “carmy” berzatto x fem!reader (she/her pronouns used), the bear fx
warnings: smoking mention, minors dni with this story please.
word count: 2k
a/n: ok literally i am the worst ever and i totally didn't finish this fic even tho i started it so im finally posting the last part literally MONTHS later!!! sorry besties but i couldn't have an unfinished fic out there in the world so... if u fuck w this story at all thank u for reading it and all the encouraging and nice things people have said, it literally made me want to complete this fic so thank u <3
summary: tying up loose ends.
and it's a fuckin' shame that it ended like that you broke your own heart, but you'd never say that we went to hell, but we never came back
masterlist | chapter 3
It all just feels numb.
Sun coming up over the horizon and a light snowfall onto the street below. Your home is quiet, no pans in the kitchen making French omelettes, no TV playing outside the bedroom door as you sleep. No toothbrushing in the bathroom or running shower water, warm and steamy, inviting you in.
It’s not that you weren’t expecting his answer. Or, lack thereof. It’s that he couldn’t make up his fucking mind. First, he’s cooking you an omelette in your favourite pan with a cup of coffee made exactly the way you like it. He’s spending every evening on the couch with you, your hands splayed out against his stomach, comfortable beneath the waistband of his sweats. You’re in his sweater, baking fresh warm cookies so he can have one before bed, smudges of chocolate against your lips as he pushes you up against the counter, hot skin on cold tile.
Next, he has that look on his face, where he’s somewhere else. Thinking of her, in a dreamland where he can make it right again, and it all feels like it comes crashing down. The sweet nothings don’t exist in this realm, there’s no happiness here.
And when you do have to face him on Monday, it’s back to cold shoulder, nothing different. Yes chef, no chef, thank you chef. 
Sydney tries to make conversation, and you feel bad because you won’t bitch about Carmy like you usually would. Richie’s having secret meetings with Natalie, probably more about Claire, but you don’t even think to join in. It hurts, it hurts so fucking much, and it’s hard enough to go outside and take a fucking break from it all, let alone be in the same cramped kitchen with him. There’s no solitude, just aching, just disappointment.
“Did you order me a new cake pan, chef?” It’s directed at Tina, who looks up at you with the same wistful softness as she always does, smiling before nodding in your direction. You don’t hear her slide over to you, but when she suddenly appears at your station, you can tell she just knows something’s wrong.
“What’s up with you?” she asks, clipboard finding it’s way to the counter beside you, where a piping bag lays. “You’re not yourself. Something… wrong. Don’t tell me a boy did this to you.” The tears prick at your eyes and you swallow it all before you can get out a word, because yeah, it all fucking aches and the hurt feels like it’s sitting right behind your eyes, in your throat, ready to come out.
“It’s nothing. It is a boy but, boys are stupid and I’m not gonna cry over one,” you sniffle, before untying your apron and letting it hang loose on your body. “Not worth it.”
“It’s him, isn’t it?”
Your blood runs cold when she gestures just outside to the bright light of the door, where Carmy sits, phone in one hand, cigarette in the other.
Luckily the kitchen is empty when you reply, only so she can hear, “how did you know?”
“I saw the way you looked at him this morning.”
“Does anyone else know?”
“Fuck no. Between you and me, chef.”
You sighed relief, letting your front hit the counter as the stress left your body. “Thank fuck. Yeah, I don’t know, we were-“
“Fuckin’?” Tina’s got a sly smile on her face that makes it impossible not to laugh with her.
“Yeah, I guess. It felt like more than that. But apparently he’s still hung up on Claire so, I guess that ends it.”
She exhales slowly, joining you in a lean against the counter. “Jeff makes mistakes, everyone knows that. He’s moody and sad and he’s got fuckin’ problems, that kid, I tell ya.” She pauses for a second, eyes meeting yours, sincere. “But he’s good. I just don’t think he can handle himself, is all.” She takes a beat, letting her soft hand lay over yours, “He doesn’t let himself have the good shit because it always gets ruined. But you’re good. He’s scared of you.”
“He should be scared of me. I’m gonna fucking kill him,” you mutter, letting your floured hand meet your forehead in annoyance. “I’m not responsible for fixing his shit.”
She nods, agreeing with you, a hand cupping yours on the counter. “No, you’re not. I’m just saying he could use someone like you to bring him back to Earth, is all.”
-
When Carmy does make it back inside, he’s thumbing through paperwork at the desk, hand through his hair stressfully pulling at the strands. He’s trying so hard not to stare at you from where he’s sitting, noticing your cold gaze, somewhere far away. He takes out his phone to scroll through it mindlessly, procrastinating, when he meanders his way to the text icon and opens up your thread. A few texts here and there, mostly just asking about plans to come over, the occasional sexy photo or recipe idea.
[sunday, 10:26] they don't have fresh sourdough. should we just make some this aft?
[saturday, 4:35] i hate when you go in on saturdays
[saturday, 4:36] Photo Recieved
[saturday 4:36] don't you wish you were home with me?
[tuesday, 12:22] is balsamic glaze overdone? lmk. miss u.
It feels a little too domestic, seeing the way he so effortlessly became comfortable with you, a warmth and excitement that was just never there with Claire. It’s raw and it’s guilty and he’ll beat himself up over it forever, but it was never going to be perfect with her, no matter how hard he tried.
“Boss?”
Richie appears in the office, leaning against the door frame before noticing Carmy’s disheveled look. “Yeah?”
“You look worse than usual.”
“Thanks. What do you need?”
“Well, I was gonna ask if you ordered more eggs.”
“I, uh, yeah. Yeah, I think Sydney did.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
It’s like Richie could see right through him.
“Nothin’. Stupid shit.”
Richie steps into the office, leaving the door only slightly ajar.
“Cousin.”
Richie can be sweet when he wants to be, and when he’s got a hand on Carmy’s shoulder and a somber look in his eyes it’s like he already knows how Carmy feels.
“Why do I suck so bad at being a fuckin’ normal person?”
Richie sits next to him, a look of surprise. “Is this about Claire bear?”
“Yes, well - yeah, and also no. Kinda. I don’t know.”
“Is it about Miss Buttercream out there?”
He gestures to you outside the door, zesting some orange on top of the cake you were finishing up. Carmy stifles a laugh.
“We all know you’re porkin’ her.”
“Don’t say that,” Carmy laughs, hand coming up to his face to rub his eyes. “It’s more than that. We’ve been kinda, dating, I guess? I still don’t know what counts as having a girlfriend.”
“So what did you do?”
He gnaws at the skin of his thumb and lets his eyes flicker up to Richie’s. “Fucked it. Last night, I, uh,-“ his hand finds his warm forehead. “I really like her, like a lot. But she asked about Claire and I said the wrong thing, like I always do and uh, she didn’t like it.”
“She’s good,” Richie starts, letting his hands find his aproned thighs as he sits at the corner of the desk. “Claire was good for you too. But she didn’t… get it. Not like she does,” he gestured vaguely to your station outside the door. “Claire was never gonna get the restaurant and the kitchen and the fuck of it all.”
Richie's hand extends to cup Carmy's shoulder.
“Look, do whatever you want, but there isn’t really someone who matches you like she does. Claire’s history now, drunk phone calls don’t mean she’s still in love with you. If that’s what you were thinking.”
Carmy sits back in the creaky chair. “Nah, not that. I just don’t know how to do it right.”
“It’s not about doing it right,” Richie’s got sincerity in his eyes. “It’s about fuckin’… trying shit. Just go and make a move and see.” Carmy watches you hang up your apron on the hook and grab a hoodie before fucking outside. “Yeah, yeah. Thanks Richie.”
“Good luck.”
“I’m sorry.”
Carmy’s voice takes you out of your trance as you stare into the back alley of the restaurant. “Hi.”
“Can we talk?”
“You can talk, I’ll listen.”
The crackle of his lighter, orange flame against white snow. You can see his breath slipping from between his lips as he exhales out of the corner of your eye.
“I feel like a fuckin’ asshole,” he starts, plunging his other hand in his pocket. “I don’t know what to say.” A beat. “Can you look at me?” It’s gentle, a question, not a demand.
You turn to look at him. Cold blue eyes, darkened by the brightness around you. “You’re not second best to me. You’re it, this is it. I like this, I, I fuckin’,” he takes a breath, “I love… this. I want this.”
“You hurt my feelings, Carmen,” tears brimming your eyes and coating your lashes. “If you’re not done with Claire, I don’t… I don’t care. If I am your second choice, fine.” 
“You’re not.”
“Even if I was. But don’t fuck me around if you don’t want me.”
“I do.”
“Are you sure? You weren’t sure last night.”
“I get it if you don’t trust me. I get it. I haven’t given you a reason to.” He searches for the right words, but chooses to take a tentative step towards you. “I’ll beg for you,” he’s quiet, unlike Carmy. “Anything.”
Your eyes meet his briefly, a soft smile pulling at your lip. “I’m not saying yes, okay?” He nods. “But I am saying I would appreciate a ride home tonight. If you’re serious.”
“I’m serious.”
“Good.”
-
The walk up to your apartment is easy. His heavy steps behind your light ones, hands sliding up the bannister as you unlock your door. He’s on your heels, a little behind. When he steps in your apartment, it’s familiar. Browned butter, vanilla, laundry. 
“Do you want dinner?” He’s tentative, letting his shoes sit next to yours on the mat. His jacket goes up on the hooks by the door, together. 
“Are you offering?”
“Yes.”
Carmy shows love through food, that’s how he always is. You can tell he’s feeling particularly sorry about it all because he’s bringing out a big pasta pot and a saucepan, pulling the only fresh ingredients left in your place and putting them next to the stove top. Your t-shirt finds its way into the laundry basket, an old sweater thrown over your bare skin.
You hate how normal it all feels, because it’s scary. To think of a domestic life with him, where there’s another girl lingering in the background of his thoughts that he has unfinished business with. Insecurities of who is better, prettier, happier, warmer… if he had the chance, would he leave? Would he jump ship?
He sits next to you while you eat, thighs against thighs, and comfortable silence blanketing your small apartment. He hasn’t gotten into one of the many pairs of pyjamas he’s left at your place, or taken his usual after-work shower, or taken out the frozen cookie dough to thaw. You can tell he’s not sure if he’s welcome here for good, yet.
When your food is done, he pushes the plates away and takes a calloused hand to wrap around yours. There’s sharpie marks small knife cuts on his fingers. 
“Are you gonna stay the night?” You ask, still not meeting his gaze. 
“Am I welcome to?” He doesn’t sound like himself, and you can feel his warm breath near the top of your head as you turn towards him. Your body collapses a little then, folding slightly at the middle to have your head fall right into the centre of his chest.
“Yes, Carmen,” you nod, letting your eyes flicker up to meet his. “You can stay for as long as you want.”
His hand slipped from yours then, sliding around your side and up your back. He pulled you into his embrace, lips wrapped around yours in a soft capture. Your hands found their way under his t-shirt, only slightly, his warm skin against the palms of your hands, pulling him impossibly closer. 
And when you lay in bed with him that night, your face burrowed into the softness of his chest, you know the days of waking up alone are over. 
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