#anu rambles

[with-love-anu]

i wanna cry

#anu rambles

[merrystar]

Not me currently losing my mind over LDR Moon.

HE’S SO FRIEND SHAPED I LOAF HIM SMMM AAAAA

I have work in the morning 😞

#merry rambles #ldr #love death and Rollerskates #I see u Anu /pos X)

[thatotherman001]

I don’t remember if I said this or not but

The reason why I call my goofs, “goofs” is bc I came up with/drew them by accident

I was going through some heavy stuff at the time and decided to doodle random garbage for a bit to clear my mind, then at some point I drew Marbs and Omar

Best accident of my life fr

#lore lmao #World aNu #rambles #ramblings #text post #text

[betasuppe]

Hi, I often see your posts where you express the urge to delete your works off the internet. I really like your style, it is very clean and recognizable (although it's not the point of this ask). I'd like to share a situation that happened to me several days ago. I have some fandom works on the web, which are around ten years old, some older and some newer (they are, admittedly, very low quality, I abstain from reading them because of cringe). There is a counter on the site, it shows daily views. I used to check it maniacally back than, so much it is still in my top viewed sites. So when I was feeling bad - when I AM feeling bad, I usually check this counter. And you know what? Even after 10 years. Even in a fandom that is wayyyyy less active than before. I get 1-2 views a day. Sometimes someone comes and binges half of my works, even, leaving thumbs ups in their wake. That is to say. There are always cake lovers in the internet (there are also cake haters, but we don't have a negative like button do we?) So even the works you consider cringe may find their audience, in several years EASILY (but probably even less). Yes, some of the things are history, but it is always a pleasure to receive a like or a comment, even on older works. Maybe if you think your art gets less recognition than it deserves, you may switch social media platforms and have them up on a more specialized site or archive (although I currently don't know any better platform for that than tumblr). To sum it all up, give your art a little time and it will certainly find its lover. You may derive some pleasurable emotions from that as well. You are cool, keep it up 👍

Hey thanks so much♡ I truly appreciate your kindness & suggestion here as well.

I don't think I can find a decent way to rationalize my thought process [beyond: depressed with having impossibly high standards at all times ha ha] but it's like.

When I get realization how god awful or disappointing a drawing is, it's as tho I haven't registered anything beyond that it needs to be destroyed. It's like a sickness & shame & disgust I can't explain, but can only be relieved by destroying whatever I've just created.

I wish I could make sense of it. I wish I could think further in the long term besides "god, this drawing sucks, I need to obliterate it so it's like it never existed in the first place" but.

When you are unwillingly consumed by your own insurmountable flaws, it's impossible to argue with & destruction is the only path at hand.

& sure, someone somewhere down the line might see one of my drawings later & love it, but the desperate need to be invisible & just vanish in shame of myself is. A lot.

#asks #sorry if i sound like a fucking downer but #i cant seem to stop myself from going delete crazy #its like the only thing that scratches the itch in needing to hide away & fucking vanish #& truthfully i dont want to be famous or popular #i truly dont care but #i just would appreciate some kind words & support & when its hard to get anything like that #id rather just kill the offending piece & keep it offline where the only fool who ever saw it #ie: me #already hates it & wont make it anu worse i guess #i dunno #sorry if this rambling makes no sense #im just #barely adequate at drawing & need to stop pretending it matters

[fly-sky-high-bug-games]

Since I'm guilty for not noticing I was rebloging a repost, here is an original artists and their work, please check it out if active on twitter! <:3

#sky rambles #hollow knight #see this whole repost thing wasn't as frequent before #or maybe I was lucky that within hk community here I didn't run into anu #*any #only until recently #and it catches me off guard to learn that I ended up rebloging a repost #i dont like that it happned few times only recently #i dont want these weird intagram or pintrest rando repost vibes on tumblr #i know best way for folks to know about this is reblogs but #i also don't want notes on it i just want folks to know the artist...

[with-love-anu]

i want someone to hug me so hard that i choke and die

#maybe that will cure me #anu rambles

[theygender]

Working on a project for work where I have to make a slide about myself and being forced to come to terms with the fact that all I do is play video games, listen to music, and read one (1) book series

#i need one more logo to put on there but i dont want it to be another game or band #and im realizing that im really not interested in anything else 😭 #theres some shows i like but not enough to make them the Final Thing on my slide #the only other thing i do is watch videos about deep time so im including some prehistoric animals on there for fun #i still need One More Thing tho #....the only other thing i can think of is unus annus? but how do i explain what the logo is for without saying the name lmao #bc i know my coworkers would be like .....anus??? #help #rambling

[thatotherman001]

It’s an extremely slow day at work today (snowing), so I have some time to draw and stuff

If you guys have questions about my goofs, feel free to ask, I’ll try and answer them or have my goofs answer for me :p

It’s either that or I fall sleep… so…

#text #text post #i’m bored #drawing requests #rambles #ramblings #artists on tumblr #World aNu

[bluecrusadearcade]

Bestie all your shadow and bone reblogs are giving me life have you seen the show cause hnnnnnngs i need to scream about it!

ANYA PLEASE SCREAM ABOUT IT PLEASE PLEASE SPAM MY INBOX MESSAGE ME I HAVE BEEN FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE SHOW TO MY FRIEND FOR ABOUT 30 MIN ITS SO GOOD I AM LOSING MY MIND

#thanks anu! #bluecrusadearcade #blue rambles

[with-love-anu]

i forget every single day that I'm living THE life and every single time I remember me is like 🥹🫶🏼 thank you krishna

#anu rambles

[thatotherman001]

Progress on the Card game I’m working on has been very steady, I’m at the point that I need to start thinking of what cards, spells, and heroes to put into the game

I already decided to use my Goofs Elemental Variants for the other heroes, but even then I’m still left with a few empty slots for heroes

Idk if this would be weird, but if you guys want one of your characters, artifacts, magic, etc. in the game, I’d be more than happy to see what I can do

I want this game to be for my friends and mutuals, so I’m all ears for any suggestions

#Card game development #Rebel Knights #World aNu #ocs #text post #text #rambles #ramblings

[ramonag-if]

Crown of Exile - Chapter 5 Update

Chapter 5 is now available for the public!

Play the game here. Please RESTART your game. Old saves will not work.

The chapter includes:

The entirety of chapter 5;

Dealing with the Nomad Tribe prisoners;

Arriving in Ishari;

Learning more about the other Temple of Ehulla;

Convincing the Ishari people to help Prince Irus;

Freeing prisoners from the Blood Guard prison;

Uncovering major revelations about a certain prisoner;

Dealing with the aftermath of these revelations;

Spend time with your chosen RO;

Introducing a new RO - Anu;

Deepen your bond with Prince Irus;

The first (optional) NSFW scene of the game with Prince Irus.

Word Count: 78 368 words. Total game word count: 324 810 words.

Things to note:

As always, this is a first draft so expect scenes to be lacking some choices;

I wanted to include a lot more interactivity as well as more romance scenes, but I ultimately ran out of time;

Please report bugs to me via Tumblr, the game page or through this form;

The issue with the return button should be fixed and you should no longer get stuck in a loop;

For exclusive side stories posted monthly and weekly devlogs, sneak-peeks and general rambling, consider supporting me on Patreon.

I hope you enjoy the chapter and have fun!

#crown of exile #game update #chapter 5 #twine game #interactive fiction #romance #fantasy #ramonag if #public release

[matan4il]

Hey, I just felt the need to vent and see if you or your followers had any advice for me because I feel so stuck.

I don't have any relatives or friends in Israel so sometimes I feel I have no room to talk on the conflict. I'm in the US, I'm 'safe', my family is safe, but I still feel so hurt and the grief from everything happening to 'my people'

I was talking to a friend and I know we have conflicting opinions on everything happening. I just feel so heart broken by him as we were discussing things and he cuts the conversation when I said "Hamas is a terrorist organization". I don't know how I can trust him anymore when he can't even see that. I love him so much. He's essentially my best friend. It hurts so much and I don't know what to do. At this point I just keep quiet but there is resentment building and I hate it.

Any advice would help. Sorry for rambling. I'm just emotional.

Hi Nonnie! I totally understand, you're being legit in how you feel, and I'm sending you many hugs!

I believe I've answered a similar ask at some point since the war, I'm just not sure how to find it, because Tumblr's search option sucks. Maybe through the ask tag, IDK. If anyone's better at handling this site, and can find it and link it in the comments, I'm sure the anon (and definitely me) would appreciate that!

I think that ask was more generalized though, so here I'll refer more specifically to yours.

First of all, if you're Jewish, you have family in Israel. All Jews are one big family, one tribe, and I consider every Jew a part of my extended family. That said, there's actually a good chance that, given enough genealogical research, you'll find that one, two or three generations ago, the family tree split, and there's a branch where people returned to Israel, so you have distant relatives you weren't even aware of here. If you're interested in looking into this, a good place to start is to contact the Anu Museum, which delves into the history of the Jewish people, and also keeps extensive genealogical records for Jews.

Hamas is a terrorist organization, that's not an opinion or debate, it's a fact. People tend to claim that resistance can be seen as terrorists or freedom fighters, depending on one's opinion, and it's true that at times the term "terrorists" has been abused, but there's actually a very simple way to figure out the matter. If an organization intentionally targets civilians with violence, including lethal violence, for the sake of achieving some sort of a political change (and that includes political change in service of an extremist religious cause), then we're talking about terrorists. The differentiation between a regime as a legit target for a struggle, and innocent civilians who should never be targeted with violence, that's the difference between freedom fighters (whether we agree with them or not) and terrorists.

The exact date of Hamas being established as a terrorist organization is not known, most believe it was Dec 1987 (it announced it was joining the First Intifada on Dec 15, when it started on Dec 9. Hamas escalated it considerably, as it did the Second Intifada), while the son of a Hamas founder (Mosab Hassan Yousef. He was repeatedly jailed by Israel for terrorist activity in the service of his dad's organization, but as a teen in prison saw how Hamas was torturing Palestinians. He decided to flip and help Israel in order to save his own people from Hamas) says it was actually slightly earlier, in 1986. Either way, by the end of 1989 (just two years after its first public statement), Hamas was already so brutal and violent, that it was outlawed here. Soon, especially as it started carrying out extensive suicide bombings (the very first one was on Apr 16, 1993), it was also recognized as a terrorist organization and outlawed by multiple governments (including the UK, the US, Jordan, the EU, Japan, Norway, Iceland, Canada, Australia and Paraguay).

Not only is Hamas clearly a terrorist organization since its very first act of terrorism, after Oct 7 it is also one of the most successful ones ever (second only to Al-Qaeda after 9/11, though if you look at the number of fatalities per population size, then Hamas have surpassed Al-Qaeda as well). To not recognize Hamas as a terrorist organization is to not recognize terrorism, and that it is fundamentally wrong, because nothing ever justifies killing civilians to affect a political change, and THAT is an incredibly disturbing position to take.

On top of that, Hamas is Islamist, it wants a world ruled by an Islamist regime, and sees the eradication of Israel as a first step on the way there. It will only condemn other Islamist terrorist organizations for digressing from this plan of eradicating the Jewish state first, before taking on the rest of the world. Hamas is also genocidal towards Jews. Its founding charter declares this explicitly, that Judgment Day will not come until all Jews are exterminated. Its leaders have continuously and repeatedly expressed themselves in similar ways, calling upon "true believers" to kill Jews everywhere around the world, and in fact since Oct 7, several Hamas terrorist cells have been exposed as operating against Jews outside of Israel.

Someone who can't even admit Hamas are terrorists will likely not recognize the genocidal, antisemitic and extremist Islamist nature of Hamas, either. If you're Jewish, what that means is that your "friend" is willing to turn a blind eye to the declared statements of those who wish to kill you simply because you're Jewish. And if you ask me, that's not a friend at all. But even if you're not Jewish, I think the willingness to allow Hamas' genocidal antisemitism by denying the nature of this organization is morally despicable. I would kind of get it if your friend lived in a non-free country, where he can't get the true info on Hamas. But if you live in a free society, and your friend can get online, and go to one of the sites that share info on Hamas, especially the footage from Oct 7, but he's still denying what this terrorist organization is really like? I think you're very right to be upset by that.

At the end of the day, how you deal with it is up to you. It sounds like this person is really important to you, and I get it. At the same time, it sounds like you're having a hard time living with his views of Hamas, which is beyond justified. If your friend is willing to overlook this, what else is he willing to allow? I guess the question is whether you feel like you can have a talk with him, where you put this all on the table, not just Hamas being a terrorist organization, but also the genocidal, Islamist and antisemitic nature of it, and explain to your friend that it is personally distressing to you, that he can act as if Hamas is a legit organization? Do you feel like you can talk to him, and if he understood what it means to you, he might be more willing to listen? If you don't talk to him about this, do you feel like you can live with his views?

I'll be honest, I personally would not want such a person as a "friend." I would never feel like I could trust him. That doesn't negate all of his other good traits and what he can and does give you as a friend, though. I get that. I understand that it is a loss, if this ends your friendship. And that's why I say that it's up to you. It's up to what you feel is in the best interest of your well being. Do you still trust him to have your back despite his views? Do you think you'd be worse off to lose everything else about your friendship? Or do you think he values your friendship enough to listen? Do you feel like the distress of knowing what he supports is too much, and is bad for your well being? At the end of the day, only you can answer these questions.

Just know that no matter what you decide, you're not alone. There are others who feel like you do, and who would accept you, all of you, anti-Hamas views included, and will be true allies and friends. You def have a friend here. I'm wishing you well with whatever you decide to do, and if you feel like sending follow up asks, please don't hesitate to! Much love, Nonnie. xoxox

(for more of my posts regarding Israel, click here)

If this is a person who you define as your best friend, but they're cool

#israel #antisemitism #israeli #israel news #israel under attack #israel under fire #terrorism #anti terrorism #hamas #antisemitic #antisemites #jews #jew #judaism #jumblr #frumblr #jewish #israelunderattack #ask #anon ask

[toskarin]

So, I don't mean this in a rude way, but I genuinely don't understand the appeal of Fear & Hunger outside the fetishistic angle, and I was hoping you might be able to tell me what you like about it. Everything I've heard and seen about it seems to not be particularly scary, but rather just a sequence of gore and sexual assault related scenes that everyone assumes make a horror franchise because Bad Things are happening.

Oh? You killed someone? Well, congratulations, pal, you learned the masturbation skill! You lost a fight? Whoops, looks like that genie is going to fist your anus until you die! You're fighting a guy who tried to sexually assault your character? Now he turned into a horrible penis monster and is telling you to choke on his balls!

I know those examples are all from the sequel, but my impression is that the first one is very much like that as well. I'm totally willing to believe that I'm wrong, but from the outside, it genuinely looks like the fandom is a bunch of people insisting to each other that this is Actually Very Deep, when it's ultimately just weird porn that's honestly kind of sophomoric in its delivery. Again, I'm willing to believe there's something there, but I haven't been able to find it in anything I've seen of the franchise so far.

And to be clear, I'm not coming at this from the angle of someone criticizing people for being into weird porn, and I'm by no means unfamiliar with or against the concept of sexual horror. If people are into games where the penalty for losing is their character getting fucked to death, more power to those people. I guess what I'm saying is that it just feels like at least a portion of the fan base isn't being honest about what they get out of it. Like, if someone is really into the considerable amount of horny stuff in Fear and Hunger, that's fine, but own it.

I guess I'm ultimately hoping for either some clarification as to why I'm getting the wrong impression, or, like, confirmation that a lot of the appeal is the sexual stuff.

ramble below the break

so, before anything else, it should definitely be clarified: even through the lens of ryona and eroguro, Fear and Hunger isn't actually very much of a fetish game. it's got lots of gratuitous violence, a lot of which is sexual, but the actual content of the game is more like a splatter film than a guro doujin

it's a very silly qualification to pull, but I've got more than a passing familiarity with the other side of things and don't really think the game has that going on (I tried the game because I thought that's what it was lol)

a lot of it comes down to the fact that not only are those scenes unpleasant, but you also know they're paired with material consequences. kind of like how playing survival games in hardcore mode gives them an otherwise absent tension. you've gotta make hard choices, and sometimes those choices make you miserable

most players don't want to see those scenes, which is why it ends up being an effective (albeit absolutely not tasteful, no argument there) horror element. it has to be taken along with the restrictive saves, the harsh atonal music, and the fact that everything you run into in these games looks disgusting

the end result is a game where you have a number of saves that most generously can be counted on one hand with room to spare and spend your time running around a world where nearly everything wants to kill you, do something horrible to you, or some baroque combination of the two

Fear and Hunger's horror works because, unlike a lot of splatter horror, it forces the player to be in a prey mindset just as much as the protagonists are. it's really scary when you're rationing your saves, think you're almost in the clear, and then the game asks you to call a coinflip

if Fear and Hunger were presented in any other medium, I wouldn't think it makes for good horror. it's extremely silly to read about and is frankly either "Berserk with the labels sanded off" or "Majora's Mask but fucked up" depending on the game. the user-hostility of the mechanics turns those incoherent masses of scares into paranoid nightmare simulators

the abstract dread of "this character is about to have their arms twisted behind their back and their organs pulled out of them" becomes very tangible when the player is actively trying to avoid a consequence. the tasteless sexual horror lands in large part because it's using the mechanics to force you to take the threat seriously

when you've got an infection on your arm and know that you could theoretically treat it but that it also might kill you in the time you're trying to find the medicine, you feel like a hunted animal asking yourself "maybe I should just saw it off"

or at least that's my read!

[transmutationisms]

omg what'd you think of salo...i personally love it, though the last 10 minutes of that movie are gonna haunt me for the rest of my life

god it was so good. i keep meaning to ramble about it on here. yeah i mean, 'haunting' might be a good word for it! i do also think it's a very hopeful film in certain ways though---yes of course the mansion is representative of the broader functioning of fascist repression, but pasolini was also very much making a film About Communism & about how no repression could actually be totalising (sergio's death, the betrayal sequence, ezio/inès, the pianist). even renata's tears and pleas to god throughout the film---the reason these bother the masters so much is because, although they can possess her body, they're being faced with the proof that she and the others have an interiority & consciousness that fascism is simply incapable of stamping out. it's very effective i think in simultaneously conveying the overwhelming horror of rape and general sadism (again, standing as representative of broader systems of political and social violence---the masters are the church/state/nobility) and yet also opening up those chinks in the armour where the victims reach for scraps of selfhood.

anyway because i read history of shit i will just say. what a fucking fantastic cinematic use of shit as well. obviously there's the imagery of fascism literally producing shit and feeding it to people (at a composed and ornamented banquet), plus the more psychosexual angle where so much of the rape in the film is specifically sodomy and so, of course for the masters coprophilia/coprophagia are simultaneously the taboo they cross to punish their victims even further. and i think this loops in too with the scene where they're judging who has the best ass, and so they have everyone bent over and they're only seeing them from behind---it's that reduction of all the victims to the anus, which again is in the film a site of pleasure as well as humiliation and therefore this kind of contested site that can be used to articulate and enforce power differentials. you love to see it.

anyway yeah you could honestly write a paper on any scene in this film it's all so good. i want to watch it again at some point and i maybe also want to read some sade (though partially for other reasons lol) also i will take this opportunity to say, if you haven't read the salòlita essays, do :-)

#salò

[snowthornes]

A warning: ahead is a very very long essay-slash-ramble about Salyra, a character from Crown of Exile by @ramonag-if . I have a lot of thoughts about her complexities as a character as well as the tragedies of her relationship with the MC, so I figured I should just put them all into words before I explode. If you haven't read CoE yet, please do — you won't regret it!! Especially if you're a huge fan of complicated, "okay wow this hurts" family angst and heart melting romance. 🥹✨✨

Salyra is someone who possesses the self-created tragedy of a hero. When Salyra believes in something, she believes in it with her whole heart, and she'll stop at nothing to fight for it. She's... the hero that many adore, but hurts those closest to her, directly or indirectly. Like her family, who've heard nary a word from her for all those years, not knowing if she was alive or dead. Like the MC.

Salyra's sacrificed countless things for her cause, and those sacrifices sometimes involved the hearts of those who loved her.

She's willful. Willful and determined. Great qualities for a rebellion's leader/figure of inspiration; not so much for when you're trying to patch up a relationship with your child who had long thought you dead, and had suffered for it.

It's like she thinks that if she pushes enough, if she shows MC the depths of her sincerity, it'll make MC accept her after all those years. It doesn't. For certain MCs, anyway. It only serves to push them further away.

Right, this is going to swerve into more specific territory. I'll be going into a little more detail on my MC's relationship with Salyra. The relationship between Salyra and my MC just... fascinates me.

Salyra is the high priestess, adored by the people of Ishari. MC... is MC. They were discriminated, mistreated, and followed with gazes of spite and distrust in Cyre because of their Ishari blood. Once MC returned to Ishari, they were greeted with — surprise, surprise — even more gazes of distrust and suspicion! Partly because of their blood guard parentage, partly because of their loyalty to the exiled prince, etc etc.

You stare at Rana, suddenly conflicted with anger and betrayal. You never wanted a sister, you only wanted a mother. Rana stares at you, suddenly gripping onto Mama's arm and twisting behind her, as if afraid to look up at you. A look of disappointment flashes through Mama's eyes, but it is directed at you, not Rana. It is a look you remembered Mama using when anyone would upset you as a child and now, you find yourself bearing the full force of her frown. You would laugh were it not so painful to think about the life you were robbed while Mama evidently moved on.

"Avriel," Mama murmurs. "You are my son and I know that I have not always been there for you, but I would like to remedy that. We cannot gain back what we have lost, but we have time now to find each other again."

"I need to go," Mama murmurs. "Rana needs me, Avriel. So does Danzor."

For a moment, you catch sight of your mother, but she does not see you. After returning to the temple, she has washed and changed, the priestesses who had been chanting earlier, now crowding around her. Anu called Mama the High Priestess and you cannot help but wonder just how long she has been in Ishari.

It's these. These scenes. Salyra has built a life in Ishari, a life without the MC. A loving family, a figure loved by the people... this is all that MC knows of who Salyra is now. The Salyra presented to him is a hero. A golden existence, a light in the dark, fearless leader of the rebellion.

(They need you? What about me, Mama? Do I not need you as well?)

(Those who had looked at you with suspicion now look at her with respectful, even admiring eyes. Salyra has a life here. But you — you are just the same. You are an outsider still, whether in Cyre or Ishari.)

Avriel is genuine and soft hearted, but he has a spine of unbending steel. He is proud. All those years mourning Salyra, grieving for her, only to find her alive and well in Ishari and with a family that she so clearly (and here we have a peek into Avriel's pain induced bitter thoughts, because honestly, that sad and angry child from so long ago never truly left him) prioritizes over him.

It's like his life has been rendered into a bitter joke.

What does Salyra want from him? Does she expect him to come and go as she pleases, there when she wants him and gone when she doesn't? Is he expected to wait in the wings as Salyra tends to her new family, only playing the part of a loving son when her eyes turn to him once more? Salyra, his mama. Salyra, now the head priestess, looked upon with respect by the very people who had looked at him with such suspicion.

(^ Above is Avriel's current thought process. Yes, he's a real mess. Irus is having a hell of a time soothing him, as the usual gentle-eyed man is currently very much like a wounded cat with its claws out and teeth bared, eyes set in a glacial glint.)

And honestly, those words might be quite unfair to Salyra. We do not know what she's experienced. Not yet. But are the words left spoken and unspoken between mother and child always fair? I think not. Salyra's expectations of MC could be called unfair as well, depending on the MC you're playing.

I just. I just find this so tragic. Salyra is a deeply complex character. Her greatest strengths are also her deepest flaws. Ironic, how the qualities that made her a hero could be the very thing that chills the heart of her child. I remember you said that Salyra will wise up on how to treat the MC in a future chapter, but wow. The tragedy of Salyra being her own undoing and the detoriation of the relationship between lauded mother and outcast child is just. Wow.

Also. leaving this here because Irus + Nearly Feral with Rage MC is everything:

You nearly laugh, the bitter rage that has been festering beneath your skin like a swarm of wasps, threatens to erupt from your skin. Prince Irus settles a hand on your shoulder and instantly, you are looking at him, noting the concern in his gaze. All at once, the rage leaves you, until you can finally breathe once more.

#aspen rambles #ok WOW that got long #really long #salyra is so deeply tragic #and she makes me so angry #but so fascinated #won't stop my mc from going head to head with her tho #crown of exile #coe: salyra #coe: rana #oc: avriel #avriel is having an awful very not good time in ishari #irus has his hands full because mans is ready to BITE #avriel has very much perfected his Glacial Stare™ and the rare times it comes out instantly makes the room temp drop several hundred degree #alr that's all thank you everyone