#anxious barry bluejeans

[cinnamoncandyy]

I am sad and things are rough but drawing these two has been making me feel better so. Here you go?

#my art #blupjeans #barry bluejeans #lup taaco #the adventure zone #i drew this while drinking song for the socially anxious was playing on loop #which feels fitting #barry and lup are the amazing devil coded or something

[umbraastaff]

Barry Bluejeans sits down at the bar, his legs welcoming the rest. The bartender’s eyes have followed him since he walked in (or rather, followed the thing following him), and once she takes his order, she points to the creature that has curled up beside his chair.

“That's not yours, is it?” she asks. The juvenile Absol blinks at her.

Barry shakes his head. “It’s just been-- It’s been following me around all day.” And this is the calmest he’s seen it -- the young Pokémon has been antsy, pacing around underfoot wherever he tries to walk. Like it’s trying to communicate something, he thinks. As far as he can tell, it hasn’t tried to stop him from going anywhere. “Why, d’you know its trainer?”

“Doesn’t have one. That’s why I was wondering, who knows, maybe you caught it,” she says as she slides him his beer. “It’s been howling its head off at any hour of the day, for the past month or so-- since it was old enough to yell, I’d reckon. Bad for business.”

“It’s that young?” Barry asks. It’s small, sure, but he thought it was just a runt.

“Think so. Used to be an older one around here -- more reserved, you know, actually yellin’ when it was useful -- but we haven’t seen it around in a good bit. Nobody’s sure why, but...” she shrugs. “We can guess.”

“Yeah,” says Barry, brow furrowing. “Is it following people around looking for a, uh, a parent, d’you think? ‘Cause I don’t really specialize in young Pokémon...”

“Oh, it doesn’t follow people around,” she says, leveling her gaze with his. He leans back a little. “It never gets that close to anyone -- that’s half the reason it hasn’t been caught. So if it’s taken a shine to you, well... You be careful out there, hon.”

--

A full day later, the Absol is still following Barry around. It still seems agitated, he thinks, or maybe it’s just the regular kind of youthful energy. In any case, the magic coin that speaks in his voice gave him a place to investigate, so he’s trying to get that over with, and the pup can come with him if it wants.

But as he reaches his destination (a deep-looking cave, set into the mountainside), the Absol gets abruptly very upset. It runs back and forth from him, barking, trying to lead him away from the entrance.

It’s definitely trying to warn him, probably that there’s some danger awaiting inside. Barry frowns, considering. He could just walk away, disobey the coin. But something in his chest gets tight at the thought of leaving any stone unturned in his search for... for... whatever it is he’s looking for. And it’s that very feeling that drove him out here in the first place.

“I’ll be quick,” he tells the Pokémon, to its great dismay. “In and out. It’s real important. Why don’t you, uh. Wait out here, where it’s safe? I’ll be back out in a jiffy.” (He doesn’t want to think he’s going to die in there, but still -- the thought of endangering this practically-a-baby bothers him a lot more than endangering himself.)

But it follows him in anyway, proving just as stubborn as he is when he tries to dissuade it. When it realizes he’s still not going to follow him out, it follows behind more quietly, its stride low and anxious.

They’re pretty deep when the Absol pup suddenly stands straight up, alert, and barks at him. He frowns, opening his mouth to question it, when he feels the thing it sensed coming moments before (days before, if he’s making an honest guess). A tremor wracks the cavern, making him stumble.

A small part of him wants to keep going -- see what he can find in the depths, hope the quake doesn’t worsen. A larger part of him fears for his life, and even more for the pup that’s not going to leave this cave without him.

Cursing, Barry turns and makes a shooing motion as he starts running back in the direction they came. “Alright, let’s get the fuck outta here!”

He realizes quickly that he’s going to outrun the Absol, it’s just so small, so he scoops it into his arms as he passes it. Thankfully, after a moment of confused squirming, it lets itself be carried. It barks as he goes (encouragement? anxiety? he’s not sure), and leans its head towards the turns he needs to take to get out.

And when natural light filters back into his vision, it’s a sheer miracle he keeps his footing as a heavier tremor cracks through the cave. Instinct older than his body tells him he’s not going to make it out. But just because he won’t doesn’t mean--

Barry stops, and with the leftover inertia, he throws the Absol out into the light. He keeps running after that (just in case -- he still wants to survive). He sees it just begin to get back to its feet, desperately twisting around to look at him, and then it

--hurts really fucking bad--

and then it’s dark.

--

Outside, the Absol rises onto its hind legs, pawing at the collapsed boulders now blocking the way into the cave. It howls, and paces, and claws at the rocks, until it falls over itself scrambling back from the unnatural lightning that crackles over the stone.

“I’m-- Hey-- I’m c-- I’m good,” says Barry’s voice. The source of it rises from the rocks-- through the rocks-- cloaked in bright red and dark shadow. “It’s-- It’s me. I’m okay. Are you okay, little guy? I’m-- I am real sorry about, uh, about how that went down.”

The Absol stares at him, shocked, for several seconds. Then it lets out a pleased bark, and runs once around him. He’s... relieved that it actually understands who he is.

“Sorry I didn’t listen when you tried to warn me,” he says, hovering low to offer it a hand to sniff at. “I know what that’s like, uh... Not bein’ listened to, when you know something bad’s about to go down. Right?”

The Absol looks at him, head cocked with interest. Then it starts pacing again, looking just as antsy as it had before the cave. Maybe even moreso.

“But you weren’t followin’ me for two whole days just ‘cause I might go to this one cave at the wrong time, were you?”

It pauses in its pacing to stare at him, its eyes deeply intent -- more than they ought to be at that age. (Maybe it’s just natural for the species.)

“Hey, bud, don’t worry. I’m practically immortal. I can get through just about any natural disaster there is.” And he sure as hell is gonna face another disaster soon, though it’s hardly something he could call natural.

He frowns suddenly, or at least his glowing eyes do the equivalent; the pup’s been anxious and agitated, howling at everyone about impending disaster, but not guiding people anywhere. Not knowing how to escape it. And it latched on to him.

“...You’ve been trying to tell everyone that something’s coming,” Barry says, barely a question. He glances at the sky. “Not soon, but... coming.”

The Absol barks again, eyes wide-- clinging to his words, maybe excited to finally be understood.

“Listen, bud, I-- I know what you’re freaked about. I hear you. And I promise you, with ever fiber of my being, I’m gonna keep it from happening. You don’t gotta worry. Stick to problems you can save people from, and-- it’s gonna work out. I’ll make sure.”

It runs around him, barking even more, and he laughs a little. “...But you’re not just gonna leave it alone, are you?”

Barry knows the feeling. He produces a Pokéball, and it stops in front of him, eyes shining.

“All right, little guy. You wanna help save the world?”

#pokemon century #the adventure zone #taz balance #barry bluejeans #absol #pokemon #crossover #taz crossover #taz au #mine #writes #balance #barry #i was gonna do a comic of this but (a) wrist hurty (b) this is better honestly

[noodyl-blasstal]

Blupjeans Week: Myth (day 3)

Following on from the last two days prompts! Part 1 | Part 2 Today's @blupjeansweek prompt was Myth. -

Barry couldn't fathom how Taako managed it. Of course he, more than anyone Barry had ever met, could feign nonchalance on such an important day, but still. Barry knew he must be anxious deep down - no one cooked as much as Taako had been lately when they were fine, but aside from his occasional toe flexes Taako was sprawled loose limbed and casual across the chairs in the corridor.

"Stop worrying so loud, Barold." Taako didn't raise his head. Barry couldn't even get a read on his face because his ridiculous hat was tilted down over his eyes. 

"I'm not worr…"

"Then what am I hearing, Barry? What distress is accosting my delicate elf ears? Taako's busy trying to nap and you're spreading your anxiety everywhere. It's not hygienic, my guy."

"Uh." Barry countered. Perfect, got him.

"Yeah, that's what Taako thought. Now, why are you doubting Lup?"

"I would never doubt Lup! She's smarter than both of them put together." Barry replied indignantly, he couldn't believe Taako, of all people, was accusing him of not believing in Lup. As far as Barry was concerned, if she told him she was gonna grab the moon right out of the sky his only concern would be where they were going to put it. 

"Well then." Said Taako definitively as if the case was closed.

Barry looked at the door again. It had only been an hour. Anything up to four was relatively common. He knew she had this, but he just wanted to skip to that bit right now thank you very much. Maybe if he paced, did a little exercise, that would get rid of the nervous energy.

"Don't even think about it." Said Taako. "Sit down, read your book, it's going to be fine."

Barry sat obediently. He tried, he really did, but he was on what must have been his thirtieth attempt at reading the same page when the door finally cracked open. Barry barely had time to register it before Taako vaulted off the chairs and rushed over. 

"Thank you again, Dr Tacco. Congratulations!" 

Lup emerged from the room, finger gunned, and closed the door behind her. "Guess who's got two thumbs and a PhD?" She said as Taako slammed into her and knocked her sideways.

"Barold." He mumbled into her hair.

Lup pretended to try and wriggle out of his hug. "Fuck off, Goofus."

Barry wrapped himself around them both. "I'm also going with me. I checked, one, two." He prodded Lup in the back with each thumb in turn to make his point. 

Lup laughed hard and long and wild. "I hate you both."

"We love you too." Said Barry and Taako together. 

Lup stuck her tongue out. “Terrible, awful, what did I do to be cursed with you both?”

“I don’t know, Dr Lup. What did you do?” Barry grinned. Dr Lup! She’d done it. He knew she would. There was no universe in which she didn’t, but still. It was over.

“Dr Lup Tacco.” Taako said quietly. “You did it.”

“I did it.”

–

“You got the car snacks, Dr Bluejeans?” 

“Of course I have, Dr Tacco. But, Dr Tacco, have you set up the playlist?”

“Dr Bluejeans, I cannot believe you’d doubt me, your good friend, Dr Tacco. Of course cha’girl’s got the playlist sorted.”

“But, Dr Tacco, is it the one we  agreed on, or the one I saw you making to torture me?”

“I cannot believe these wild accusations that you are levelling, Dr Bluejeans. Of course it’s the one I made to torture you. Rude of you to entertain any other thought on the matter to be honest.”

Barry snorted. He still wasn’t entirely sure why Lup had agreed to road trip home with him despite not losing the bet, but maybe the allure of a second wardrobe full of vintage Barry threads (as Lup had designated them) had been too strong to resist. Either way, the car was packed, backup maps were in the glove box, roadside attractions had been scoped, their motel was booked, and his Mum was expecting them in a few days.

–

“There! There! There!!! Pull over, Dr Bear.” Lup pressed her face to the window and wriggled in her seat. “I knew we were close.”

Barry steered the car to the side of the road and parked on the gravel at the side. “We’ll be fine here. The road’s pretty dead and we shouldn’t be long.”

“Speak for yourself.” Said Lup, already unbuckled and clambering free. 

By the time Barry had hauled himself out of the driver’s side and stretched out his rice crispy spine Lup was already halfway up the scrubby embankment. Barry smiled fondly, he wished he had half the energy reserve the twins seemed to possess. 

“C’mon Bear! Look.”

The grass was sharp and the scree slippery, but Barry eventually made it, red and panting, to the rock.

“I love him.” Declared Lup, petting the top of the large, terribly painted frog she lounged across. “Take a picture for me please? Taako’s going to hate it. I’ll frame it for his birthday.”

 Barry huffed out and laugh and snapped some photographs. Lup looked perfect in every single one, because of course she did.

“Now c’mere, we need to get some for the wall.” Lup spun herself round and made grabby hands at Barry. The photo collection had started during undergrad. Lup had read something about tangible photos being lost because of technology and decided to be a one woman task force to combat it. She religiously took photos, got them printed monthly, and strung them up around the house using a seemingly endless supply of tiny colourful pegs. The strings were a timeline of friendships, charting the day that Magnus appeared in their lives and decided they were going to be friends actually; Lucretia’s increasing appearance at events; Kravitz moving from glowering at the twins in the background of a shot in a lecture hall, to standing awkwardly at the edge of a group shot, to kissing Taako’s cheek and making him blush right to the tips of his ears. They charted bad haircuts (Lup), terrible fashion choices (Barry repeatedly begged Lup to take down the evidence of his pork pie hat era, but she resolutely refused), and covered the mundane to the sublime - book days, beach days, lecture halls, labs, picnics, hikes. All of it.

Barry walked over to her then waited for direction, Lup’s creative vision wasn’t something to be trifled with. 

“Okay, can you hop up here with me? I’m just gonna go prop the camera.” Lup scooted off the edge as Barry found a solid foothold to push himself up with.

“Aye aye, Dr Captain… Captain Dr?” Barry saluted from the top of the frog and Lup laughed, mission accomplished. He still loved that he could inspire that reaction, after all this time she still loved his stupid jokes.

“Right, it’s on a 10 second timer… GO!” Lup sprinted and hopped deftly up the frog. Barry realised at the same time as she did that there was no way there was room for both of them to sit on top. Lup glanced at his lap and grinned, “...incoming, Barold!” She threw herself onto his knee and somehow produced a smile and a peace sign. There was no way Barry had been looking at the camera, he was definitely staring at Lup with the ‘lovesick’ face he’d bribed Taako into deleting or editing from photos so many times before. 

“Uh… can we do that again? I think I blinked.” Maybe he could delete the last attempt before she saw it once they were back in the car. He’d managed it before, there was only so many times you could be photographed staring longingly at someone before they worked out you were probably a bit in love with them.

“Sure you aren’t just trying to keep me in your lap? You could just ask, you know?” Barry was going to expire, right here right now. She could stay in his lap forever as far as he was concerned, but she was joking and he would be serious about it if he asked her to stay put and she’d laugh, his heart would break, and she’d feel weird about the last 10 years of their lives.

“I… well… er… I… just… the blinking.” Perfectly eloquent. He nailed it. There was no way she’d pick up on the fact he was combusting.

“No problemo. Save my spot!” Lup started to wriggle free, but Barry scooped her instead, cradling her briefly before setting her down on the very edge. “Thanks Bear! You’ve been working out.”

Barry had very much not been working out, unless you counted frantic note taking - which they definitely hadn’t in high school, he’d checked.

“3-2-1, comin’ in hot!” Lup clicked the button and set off running back to the rock. Barry watched her go, laughing at the smile on her face. He should probably just have volunteered to use mage hand for this, but Lup was having too much fun. She ran up the side of the rock, and Barry caught her, tugging her down into his lap. 

“8-9…” Lup raised her arms and Barry heard the familiar whoosh of flame. Gods, she was ridiculous and he loved every inch of her. He focused resolutely on the camera. “Think you managed without blinking that time?” Lup asked.

“Yeah, yeah, that was a good one.”

“Okay, stay put, I want one more of you with the frog please… Oh, do you still remember some of those bard spells Johann showed you?”

Barry nodded tentatively. “I do.”

“Cool, a cowboy hat please.” It was done before she’d slid back to the ground, and the raucous laugh she let out meant he’d definitely made a good choice. “The pink fuzzy trim really adds a mystique to the look, Barold. Have you been studying at the Taako school of headgear?”

Barry yee hawed instead of answering and Lup snapped away as he wielded his imaginary lasso.

Back in the car he felt a bubbling sense of pride as she set one of him high in his imaginary frog saddle as her screensaver and laughed again.

–

“It should be the next left, Bear. I hope you’re excited.” Lup uncurled herself from the scrunched up position she’d adopted for reading.

“”I’ve got a surprise and you’re gonna love it” can usually go either way with you and Taako, so I’ll reserve judgement for now.” Barry pretended to frown, but he knew Lup saw through it. He’d trust her with anything, she was the person his Mum’s ‘if your friends all jumped off a cliff’ lecture should have focused on. He wouldn’t have done it for Juan or Glennis, but Lup? He’d be straight over the side knowing she’d have figured out some way for them to fly. “Hang on… Lup, is that Mothman?”

“Maaaaybe. Turn in here.” 

“... and that’s bigfoot?”

“Yep.” Lup popped the p and looked incredibly smug.

“Why’s the rabbit… oh, it has horns. Jackalope?” 

“Jackalope.” Lup confirms.

“Lup, is this a cryptid hotel?” Okay, so the kitschy vibe was fun, but this was definitely more for Lup than for him. She didn’t usually miss with her surprises, but there was a first time for everything.

“It is, yes, but they also have a collection of academic papers you can view on the topic. There’s loads of really great evidence, according to the website.” Lup side eyed him.

“There’s research I can get angry at?” Okay, now she was talking.

“Bear, I hear those methodologies are real unscrupulous. There’s likely some inconsistencies in the referencing too, if you know what I mean.” Lup waggled her eyebrows. 

“I love you.” Blurted Barry, then tried not to think about that too hard as he parked the car. That was fine. You could tell your friends you loved them, he’d told Lup he loved her before. He told all of them he loved them because he did. She didn’t need to know that he meant it in a different way when he said it to her.

“I love you too.” Lup nudged his arm. “Now let’s go see which theme the rooms are. I’m hoping for the Hodag, but I think you’d prefer Champ.”

“Oh, I see how it is, pawn me off with budget Nessy. I’m Jackalope or broke. You go ahead, I’ll grab the bags.” Barry cracked the back door and started the slow task of sorting through the detritus of the day. He wasn’t entirely sure where Lup had managed to accrue four souvenir bags, but he didn’t want to risk damaging anything. He piled them carefully to the side, then tracked down the overnight bags, and double checked to make sure he’d locked the car properly. Shouldering the rucksacks he headed into the reception, glad that Lup was sorting the rooms. Frankly, he didn’t want to have to speak to anyone other than her before he’d thrown himself into a long shower and felt a bit more human. 

“Hey Bear.” Lup gave him a small wave from the electric blue sofa near the door. “There’s, well, there’s good news and there’s bad news. Which do you want first?”

Barry hesitated. You were definitely supposed to get the bad news first, but the day had been so nice that maybe he could just put off whatever was going to ruin it a little longer. “Give me the good?”

“Buy one get one free on frozen margs. The glasses are massive and they have wild flavours. I need to try at least three, you know, for science. One of them is goldfish and I don’t know if they mean the creature or the cracker.” 

“Or both?”

“It could be both.”

“… and the bad news?”

“There may have been a tiny bit of a mix up. Just, like, the smallest amount. A little communication thing. You’ll barely notice it.” She smiled winningly, just like the time she broke his favourite mug, tried to fix it, somehow melted the shards, recruited Taako to fix it, and the resultant puddle became pudding.

“Uh huh.”

“We’re sharing.”

“Oh. That’s absolutely fine, I don’t mind.” It was better news than the margheritas, frankly.

“And there’s only one bed.” 

“I don’t mind if you don’t.” They’d shared before, he could deal with another night sleeping on his arms so his stupid subconscious didn’t decide they should be cuddling, actually.

“...and-also-they-might-think-we’re-married.” Lup said in a rush.

“Sorry, what? I don’t think I heard you right.”

Lup blushed brighter than he’d ever seen. “They think we’re…”

“...Ah, Dr Bluejeans-Tacco, I’m so delighted to meet you.” A tall man in an ascot and cosy looking jumper appeared by his elbow before Lup could finish. She definitely couldn’t have said what he thought he’d heard. That was ridiculous, there was no way. “As I explained to the awe inspiring Dr Bluejeans-Tacco here, we’re always so pleased to see newlyweds at Myths and Bed-gends! Marriage is such an honoured tradition, a delight, a union of souls! We were so excited when she let us know this trip was a surprise as you were celebrating an important life event. Now, do let me show you to the honeymoon suite, but don’t forget to visit the gift shop or the CryptoNOMica restaurant later tonight!”

Before Barry could say anything the man strode off towards the corridor. Lup gave Barry a panicked look, seemingly undecided as to whether she should follow the man or flee the building. Barry knew he should probably be freaking out right now, but truly he couldn’t find it in himself. Most of all, he needed to get his back under some hot water and maybe lie down. Lup could explain what was going on after that, but right now she looked more uncertain than he’d ever seen her, and there was no way he was having that.

“Come on then, Dr Bluejeans-Tacco.” Barry grabbed Lup’s hand. “You were definitely right about this place being a surprise.”

#blupjeansweek2023 #Blupjeans #Barry Bluejeans #Lup Tacco #Noodyl Writes #Frog rock is real and I need to go visit #The Adventure Zone #TAZ fic #TW Alcohol mention

[lucifer-kane]

ten characters, ten fandoms, ten tags 

tagged by: @kaviiinsky !

Kane and Feels: Lucifer Kane

Red Valley: Gordon Porlock

Apex Legends: Fuse

The Adventure Zone: Barry Bluejeans

TMA: Peter Lukas

Malevolent: John Doe

Archive 81: Rat

Elden Ring: Varre

Dishonored: Corvo Attano

Dragon Age: Inquisition: Dorian Pavus

No pressure tagging: @fizzysugarwater @cowboyclover @masterrainb0w (holds you down to use tumblr) and open tag for anyone who wants to do this bc I’m anxious to tag others

[the-badass-journal-keeper]

Softly and Sincerely

Barry felt it first. During a particularly challenging year, Lup caught him crying, and she softly and sincerely consoled him. And just for a moment, the professional wall between them came down, and something shone through.

Barry has always dealt with feeling "off" or "bad" for "no good reason" on his own. Lup reminds him that he's not as alone as he thinks he needs to be.

The link to read on Ao3 will be in the reblog!

-

"Oh, h-hey!"

It had been cold and hard most of their time on this plane. There weren't many civilizations on the planet, and the few they encountered were distrustful of outsiders. It had taken most of the year, but they found the Light and didn't have to fight anyone for possession of it. The whole planet had been stuck in winter since they got there and finding food had been difficult. But at last, spring had arrived.

Nothing was particularly wrong that day. Nothing was particularly wrong at all. They were still running from the Hunger. They still didn't know how to stop it. They had the Light this cycle. There was more food, more sun. Magnus and Merle had died a few months back, but the rest of the crew was relatively healthy.

So why did it feel like there was a jagged hole carved in Barry's chest? His breathing was difficult. His heart ached with each beat. The pain crept up his neck and clouded his mind, making the world outside himself a bit harder to perceive, a bit harder to deal with. But it was nothing he couldn't handle. There wasn't anything wrong with him, physically. So he needed to just... stop feeling like this.

"There's nothing wrong. Did you need something?"

Why couldn't he stop feeling like this?

The ache had crept up on him as the day wore on. He felt weighed down. He couldn't act like it, though. He didn't want anyone asking what was wrong. Because nothing was wrong. He sat through dinner, only half tasting the warm, easy soup and only listening to the conversation enough that his face showed the right reactions at the right times. 'Appear engaged without needing to devote too much of your brain to the conversation.' It was something he had perfected long ago. If he did it right, no one noticed he hadn't said a word the whole time. And he usually did it right.

"Well," Lup said, and Barry could feel the air shift. He was about to be pulled into whatever it was she was talking about, somehow. "Bluejeans here would know about that. He's a nerd. Possibly King Nerd."

"You don't need to worry about me. Heh. I'm- I'm good."

He smiled and laughed with them.

When dinner ended, Barry helped clear the table and wash the dishes. He was present. Seen. But he didn’t have to engage with anyone. If he did it right, no one would notice when he slipped off later. Be seen for a while, then retreat- that was the best way he had found to avoid being accused of "not being part of the team" or "disappearing as soon as possible" or any other such phrase. Phrases that meant he was doing something wrong when he would shut himself in his lab or bedroom with whatever distraction he found for himself. Hiding until the feeling that his skin was vibrating and his bones were turning to stone and his eyes were too weak to focus and his ears were too sharp to filter out irrelevant noise- Until all that faded. 

It was a lot of work, avoiding appearing cold or standoffish. But not as much work as dealing with people who had decided that he was those things. Not as much work as having to explain himself every time he wanted to be alone, or didn't talk enough, or was "just acting weird". Not as much work as trying to explain how he felt when he felt like this. Or why he felt like this.

"Bluejeans." The Captain waited at the entrance to the kitchen for Barry's attention.

"Yeah?" He was elbow deep in washing dishes for Lucretia to dry, but they were almost done. He hoped whatever Davenport wanted wouldn't keep him long.

"How far along is your analysis of the elemental planar distances and their possible effect on the seasons here? I know I asked you to get it to me by next weekend, but-"

But you need the report early, Barry completed in his head. "Oh. I need to copy over everything I have with some unit changes. Is- can it wait until tomorrow morning? Or do you need it tonight?"

Davenport's eyebrows rose for just a moment before a smile crossed his face. "I was about to offer you another week to complete it. I know those measurements aren't easy to get accurately, and that you're basically inventing the math behind everything." He nodded. "Good work, Bluejeans. Don't rush to get the final copy to me, but I'm excited to see what you found."

"Ah, no- not a big deal, Captain. Uh. But, thanks?"

Davenport left and Barry finished the dishes, thinking about how he should have used the right units in his calculations in the first place. It only made sense to use units that required fewer conversions along the way, no matter how much less common those units were than the ones he used in the first place.

He was so tired.

"Please just- I'm fine. I'm fine."

Why did he have to feel like this?

Somehow, somehow, he had finally escaped to his lab. He had to use one of his higher level tactics and claim to have a vague malady, like a headache, that no one could challenge to get out of hanging out with the others in the lounge. Actually, in this case, he did have a headache along with everything else. Regardless, he was in his lab, and he was alone. He reminded himself that he couldn't use those types of excuses too often, or he would face suspicion. Or concern (arguably worse than suspicion).

Some amount of time later, Barry realized he had zoned out. He should have started working on something. He should have used that time for research, or brainstorming, or going over his old notes. His notebook was right in front of him on the lab bench. Why didn't he open it when he sat down? He hadn’t even bothered to turn on the lab’s lights.

"Please..."

His mind had answers for that question. It had answers for why he felt the way he did right then, why he hadn't managed to just get over it already. Then, it had answers for him about so many other things.

He would never research fast enough or well enough to find the knowledge needed to defeat the Hunger. There was no spell he could craft or create or wield that would make a difference. The multiverse was depending on him, and he wasn't going to be enough.

He would never design an experiment that would give them an advantage. No science he could pull out of his brain would make their ship faster or the Light easier to find or the Hunger slower. He would never grasp the inner workings of the laws and mechanisms of the universe well enough to explain or deconstruct the Hunger.

And, his mind supplied, that meant that no one on the ship was safe. No one on any plane they visited was safe. Getting out of this situation was on the head science and engineering guy. He was here to protect the team from all problems short of those physical dangers their security officer handled. Barry himself was the reason no one was okay. So how could he expect to feel okay, knowing that everyone-

The click of the door snapped Barry out of his mind and back to reality. Someone was in the lab and- shit he could feel his eyes had already been welling with tears. He could not cry in front of a crewmember. He couldn't let himself cry in front of anyone.

"’Sup, Barold?" Lup stepped in and closed the door. She didn’t bother with the lights, either, using dark vision to locate the book of ancient curses she had been studying lately.

He stared hard at the ceiling and took a breath to try and steady himself enough to look calm, normal, not like he has been seconds away from crying. He turned to face the door. "Oh, h-hey!" He gripped the edge of the lab table to hide the trembling in his hands.

She squinted at him and came around the table to stand in front of him. "You okay? You seem kind of off. Something go wrong with your nerd math?"

He shrugged. He really didn’t want to deal with ‘Why are you acting so weird?’ type questions right now. The weight of the emptiness in his chest was growing. "There's nothing wrong. Did you need something?"

"You really don't look..." She placed the back of her hand on his forehead, then moved it to the side of his face. He pulled a few inches away, just enough to signal a clear 'please stop.'

"You don't need to worry about me. Heh. I'm- I'm good." Liar, his mind said. You're drowning here. You're letting everyone down. If you're good with that, then there's something even worse wrong with you.

"I'mmmmm not really much of a worrier." She crossed her arms and looked him in the eye for a moment, almost daring him to look away.

He did look away. He had to. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep the panic out of his eyes. He didn’t want pity, he didn’t want judgement, he didn’t want to have to find a way to talk her out of feeling responsible to do anything about his own messed up thoughts and feelings and… and just all of him.

"Please just- I'm fine. I'm fine."

"Barry..."

The concern on her face. The half step she took closer to him. The hand she put on his upper arm. They hurt.

Before he could even take a breath, he was caving into that chasm in his chest, tears filling his eyes too quickly. He needed- He needed to get away. He needed her to leave. He needed not to cry in front of his coworker.

"Please..." He managed that one rough word, his head down, a hand sliding under his glasses and covering his eyes. He tensed to hold his feelings at bay just a few seconds longer. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't escape. He couldn’t breathe.

In a tone of voice he had only ever heard her use with Taako, she said, “C’mere.”

Her arms wrapped around him. He returned the hug on autopilot.

"It's okay to have bad days, Barry."

Those whispered words were enough for him to start breathing again.

"You don't have to pretend you’re okay when you’re not. Not with me. And I'll bet you none of the others would want that, either."

He squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his forehead to her shoulder.

"You don't have to hide like this."

He was fighting, still fighting to steady his breathing, to control the shaking in his arms, to hold onto the ache in his throat and head and eyes because the second he stopped fighting-

"We all love you."

He didn't know why those words cleared away all the tension and need for control and fear of judgement within him.

He didn't know why he was feeling those things in the first place.

But for the first time in years- longer than he'd been on The Starblaster, that was for sure-

Barry opened up, just the smallest bit, the part of himself that ached and screamed and couldn't let him rest.

And he let someone else see. He let someone else in. He gave in and cried.

Lup’s kind words continued as if his tears and trembling and quiet wimpers were no big deal. One of her hands rubbed his shoulder the whole time. What felt like hours, but was probably minutes later, when Barry was capable of feeling anything other than the anxious, grieving, homesick, terrified, exhausted feelings flowing out with his tears, he found his breathing syncing with the slow brush of her hand.

A moment fell over the lab where the only sounds were their breathing and the hum of the Bond Engine, the two of them still holding on to each other.

"How are you doing?" she whispered.

Barry released her and straightened himself on the lab stool. He took a moment to run his robe sleeve over his face and look for his glasses. (He didn’t remember when his glasses had come off, but he knew Lup must have done it, because they sat neatly facing him with the arms folded up, instead of unfolded and probably upside down a bit too close to the edge of the table, the way he usually put them down.)

“I’m uh…” He felt… numb. Light. Not “better” necessarily, the chasm in his chest was still there. But the rough edges had been smoothed, and maybe it was a few inches shallower. “I’m okay, now.” He took the box of tissues Lup held out to him, pulling a few to clean his face properly. “For real now, though. Not just, uh-”

“Not just lying to get rid of me?” She leaned against the table and plucked a tissue from the box to dab at the shoulder of her robe.

He winced, both from being called out, and at seeing what his facial secretions had done. “Oh, geez, sorry about-”

“Nope!” She cut him off. “It’s all good. Just part of what happens, y’know?”

He hummed in response. “Yeah, I guess so.” He cleaned his glasses and put them back on. They made him aware of just how puffy his face felt.

“So…” Lup tapped her fingers against the counter. “What now? Do you wanna talk about it? Do you want me to act like the last few minutes never happened? I can make hot chocolate. I know a recipe that doesn’t use milk but still tastes good. Or, I know we don’t have multiverse-champion-cuddler Magnus, but I could probably initiate a pretty decent cuddle pile with everyone.”

What did he want?

“I think, uh.” He really just wanted to read until he fell asleep. “Not that those don’t sound pretty good- like, I’m definitely gonna take you up on that hot chocolate the next time we end up somewhere cold- but I think I’m just gonna hit the hay.”

“Yeah, I get that. Cha’girl usually drinks enough water to get rid of the post-crying headache and then… Well, then I usually make Taako talk to me until I’m asleep.” She headed to the door.

“Water, right,” he muttered to himself, rubbing at the ache behind his forehead.

“Hey, Barry?” she said. He looked up. “We’re not here alone, you know?”

He nodded, smiling a bit. “I think I’m getting that, yeah.”

“I meant what I said. It’s okay to have bad days. And it’s okay to need people.”

He didn’t know what to say to that, so he didn’t.

She turned and walked out the door, giving him a quick wave without looking back, raising the hand holding her book over her head. “Keep your chin up, nerd.”

He marveled that he was laughing after the day he’d had. The lab door swung shut behind Lup.

That was the first time Lup called him a nerd without it feeling like a barb.

In fact, maybe this time, he even liked it.

Something changed that day. Many somethings, perhaps. But to Barry, that would always be the moment he knew.

He would love her forever.

It was an inevitability.

#taz balance #blupjeans #barry bluejeans #lup #taz lup #lup taaco #the adventure zone #taz: balance #the stolen century #anxiety #mental health issues #Trying Not to Cry #pre-relationship blupjeans #social anxiety #anxious barry bluejeans #hurt/comfort #angst #light angst #fluff #my writing #barry bluejeans needs a hug

[kravkalackin]

The thing was, Kravitz was actually quite good at his job. He recognized that it was a very difficult job and that some cases took longer to bring in than others. Still, except in cases where he saw cause to give someone a second chance, he always brought his bounty in. 

He wasn’t used to losing like this. To being outsmarted. It left him frustrated, but more than anything it was leaving him confused. Liches were dangerous, and they were powerful, but most of them lost the intelligence they once had in life. 

This one certainly hadn’t. 

“Shit,” he said, barely able to dodge the necrotic beam of energy. That was all he could seem to do in this fight, jump out of the enemy’s attack with little opportunity to get close enough to use his scythe. When he tried to dive in this time, he got a large blast of fire in his chest for his efforts. 

“Ya know what, that’s enough,” he huffed, drawing back. Throwing his hands up, he let his scythe disappear. Any normal lich would immediately lunge, taking the opportunity to try and tear him apart once and for all. This lich of course didn’t do that. Instead he also pulled back some, lowering his wand the slightest bit. 

“If this is a trap you know I’m not gonna fall for it bud,” the lich said, sounding suspicious but otherwise unremarkable. 

“No, no trap, I just want to talk,” Kravitz insisted, because at this point he just wanted some answers. He doubted he’d get anything trustworthy from a lich, but he could at least figure out what his lie was. The lich chuckled, and he didn’t sound evil or anything like that, just amused. 

“Well if you wanted to talk you coulda said that a long time ago,” he said, and there was almost some relief there. Like he didn’t want to fight. “What do you want to know?” he asked, and the question sounded so earnest it threw Kravitz off guard for a moment. 

“Your name is Barry Bluejeans, correct?” he asked, receiving a nod. “You’re a lich who has died a whopping total of 16 times, yes?” he continued. 

“Got it in one,” Barry said, not sounding phased in the slightest. 

“Do you know who I am?” he asked this time, and the lich shrugged. 

“Figured you’re a reaper for the god of death in the world, uh, the Raven Queen unless I’m mixing it up with somewhere else. I don’t like, know your name or anything like that though,” he said, and Kravitz frowned a little. It was certainly an odd answer, if not an incorrect one. 

“Yes, and it’s Kravitz,” he said, feeling like he could at least tell him that much, to make the conversation easier. “Alright then, well, not a lot of my bounties are usually up for a friendly chat, but it seems you’re different,” he said, and once again Barry chuckled. 

“I guess you could say that, or maybe I’ve just gone crazy enough from the loneliness that I’m willing to talk to the grim reaper,” he said, and Kravitz would have believed that if it actually seemed like Barry Bluejeans has lost his mind. 

“I just want to know why you became a lich. I’ve been hunting you for four years now, how have you managed to keep your sanity for so long?” he asked, and he swore this lich somehow managed to smirk at him. 

“Bud, I’ve been a lich for twenty five years,” he said, and if Kravitz’s wasn’t in his reaper form he probably would have choked. This man had only been on their books for four years, that simply wasn’t possible. 

“That’s not-” he started, but Barry raised a hand, cutting him off. 

“Do you have time? I could tell you the story, but it’s kind of a long one,” he said. Kravitz quickly checked in with The Raven Queen, getting a silent affirmation in his head before he nodded. Keeping a good distance from the lich he sat down, the spectral robed figure doing his best to mimic him. 

“So, it actually started over a hundred years ago, at a scientific institute, the Institute for Planar Research and Exploration, specifically...” 

By the end of the tale Kravitz wasn’t sure what to believe. After speaking it over with the Raven Queen, they both decided that leaving this particular lich alone for the moment might be for the best. He wasn’t actively harming anyone, so until they could get some more concrete answers it wouldn’t be the end of the world. 

Six years later, and Kravitz couldn’t help but think of the lich’s story as Taako shows him a bowl and made a very confusing metaphor about edge cases. It wasn’t until a few months later, and several dates later, that he actually got around to asking about it. 

“Taako, did you ever know anyone named Barry Bluejeans?” he asked, and immediately a surprised and delighted smile spread across his boyfriend’s face. 

“Oh shit, you know Barold?” he asked, and Kravitz nodded a bit hesitantly. 

“In a way,” he said, and Taako seemed to think it over for a moment. 

“That makes sense, I guess he is dead now. We met the dude on our way to Phandalin the first time, but he beefed it when the rest of the town got glassed. Why, did he ask you to pass on some message from beyond the grave?” Taako asked, and Kravitz was sure there wasn’t any lie there. Maybe it was mostly the romantic in him, but he trusted Taako not to lie to him about something like this. 

It had been a long time since he had last spoken to Barry, and he had only heard the story once. It had stuck with him though, the longing with which he spoke about his family. The determination to get them back. 

“He misses you all,” he said, and Taako only looked surprised for a moment, before snorting in amusement. 

“Yeah alright, tell him we miss him too I guess, even if Merle did think he was a douche,” he said, and Kravitz laughed a little at that, nodding. 

“Will do,” he said, and Kravitz intended to follow through on that. 

#taz #the adventure zone #barry bluejeans #kravitz #slightly anxious night #both with my writing and The World #so i fell back on a favorite #barold and krav pre-canon chats

[jewishgir]

have not heard a single thing about TAZ Ethersea since its launch which tells me everything I need to know about it.

#griffin wants to be matt mercer so bad but what made taz balance so great was the complete opposite #of what makes critical role great #griffin gets so anxious he overplans everything. #taz was best when it was accidentally about barry bluejeans riding two horses #and brian and his spider who was also named brian #and then they took that and made something beautiful out of it #shiv.txt #taz #mcelroys

[barry-j-blupjeans]

pretty please #22 “Don’t forget me?” - the-badass-journal-keeper

It wasn’t- it wasn’t something sappy or soft or sweet. There was a very present threat of real-world in their parting and Barry cursed that he let that seep into their moment. He remembers the feeling of her hands on his, sweaty, rough with calluses, but somehow gentle against his skin. He remembers catching her eye as they were whisked away from each other- the panic, the terror, the longing that was already setting in. 

Their last kiss had been chaste, lips dry from the anxiety of biting and licking them to keep them moist in the hot summer weather. 

A murmured plee. Three words.

“Don’t forget me?”

One word back.

“Never.”

--

There weren’t really words in the end. There weren’t words because Barry felt like they had all been screamed out of him on the battlefield. At night, he heard soldiers marching around him to the beat of his own heart. He felt the ghost of a weapon in his hands and the horror of a man at his mercy. His mouth tasted of ash and blood, too much blood.

No amount of awards or praises could truly welcome him home. The bus stopped at the station and was met with thunderous applause because they had fought and they had won. But Barry staggered out of the bus, filled with less than half of the men who had originally gotten on, and he felt numb.

“You did it,” they said. “Thank you.”

And he’d reply a programmed, brokenly amused thing: “I live to serve.”

--

Barry knew everyone at the music club, so obviously, she was new. She was taller than him by a few good inches, and the heels didn’t help. She flipped off the person who dropped her off and they laughed as they drove away. She walked like she owned the whole world and, hey, maybe she did. Maybe she owned everything and Barry was simply part of her game. Maybe she wanted the heart in his chest, next, and he’d gladly give it to her.

Her eyes were sharp, clever. She played her violin like it was a competition, but one that she had been born playing. When she was done, she bowed and put the bow over her shoulder like she was going to attack someone with it. Perhaps, one time, she had. Perhaps, one time, she had to.

Barry knew that she was too good for him, but he fell head over heel anyway.

(He spied her, out of the corner of his eye, watching with interest as he sat down at the piano.)

--

“I just wanna get away sometimes,” Lup said, swinging her legs over the edge of the bench. “Just... leave. I can’t do that of course- my aunt may be getting sick, but she’s got a while left in her. Maybe after she... she passes, then I will. Me and Taako.”

Barry felt greedy words bubble at the back of his throat and he pushed them down.

“Where are you planning to go?” he asked instead.

“Out There,” Lup said. Like that was its own place. Like she knew the heaven she’d end up in.

--

After the war, he searched. Tirelessly so. She didn’t live in the town anymore. He hadn’t expected her to, but it still hurt to see her home occupied by someone else. Once upon a time, it could have been their home. Once upon a time, Barry would have said something sooner. They couldn’t predict the future, and they had no reason to worry before the worrying things started.

“If you could do it all again, would you?” a reporter asked. “If you could go back to when you were about to board the bus, would you take the chance?”

“Yes,” Barry said, a thousand times.

--

“You’re... my best friend, you know that?” Lup said one night. Her face was still streaked with tear tracks. The night had been too long. The death of their aunt was news that Barry had been expecting, but not so soon. They weren’t ready to face the world yet. He took them in, of course, but he knew that the twins wouldn’t stay for long. That’s just the way they were.

“You’re my best friend too,” Barry said, legs curled up to his chest. They sat on the couch, in the dark. He could barely see her face, but she was looking right at him.

“I don’t want to ruin that,” Lup said, voice thick with a sort of guilt. Barry blinked hard, trying to see her expression through the darkness.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I...” Lup said, softly. Barry’s heart was beating out of control in his chest. “I just don’t want to lose you.”

--

He should have known. He should have expected it, looked into it. Of course, of course!

He stood on the city limit of Out There, Faerûn, and cried tears of relief.

--

“I love you,” Lup said between desperate kisses. “I- we’re so stupid, Barry. God! We could have been doing this for ages!”

“I love you,” Barry said, holding tight onto her. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

He got drafted the next day.

--

There were two figures in the otherwise empty middle school. One sat at the piano and played like he had fought to be here. The other stood nearby, controlling her violin like Moses controlled the Red Sea. The song was reminiscent of something long gone. It had an air of nostalgia and carefree childhood. It had the feeling of longing and deathless love.

Years ago, the room would have been filled with applause as the duet finished, smiling at each other giddily.

Now, the room is silent as the last notes echo off the wall.

“I’m glad you didn’t forget how to play,” Lup said as her whole past, present, future bowed in the reverb.

“I’d never,” Barry said, as his bowed next.

#blupjeans #taz barry bluejeans #taz lup #lup #Barry Bluejeans #this kinda Hurts huh? #mine #asks #the-badass-journal-keeper #i am way too anxious to post this thoooo #but here it issss #tw war #ask to tag #please! let me know if i need to tag any warnings! #ise cube writing

[charmandhex]

Barry Bluejeans went from “easily flustered, anxious nerd hiding in the lab” to “yeah go ahead and fucking try to kill me; you’re gonna regret it more than me, buddy” and that’s character growth.

#taz #taz balance #barry bluejeans #the adventure zone #the adventure zone balance #he is sill an anxious boy but also he no longer gives any fucks about dying #the other fun part is i can make this hella angsty too #but overall it’s just good #i love barold j bluejeans

[youhearstatic]

Bro... the paladin Barry au in your tags,, I'm SCREAMING (also if you had anything about that au you wanted to share I would DIE but obviously only if you want to)

First let me show you the inspiration for this AU:

[Start description: A screenshot from Neverwinter MMORPG showing a pale skinned human with dark hair and stubble wearing bright, golden armor and holding up a glowing sword. End description.]

This is Barry - paladin of Lathander. Along with @tanger-catnip‘s Elven wizard Lup, dozens of hours were sunk into that game. (We probably would have continued playing but their overhaul made the playstyle a lot less fun IMO.)

So here’s some highlights of the paladin AU, below the cut because this is gonna get long...

It opened with Barry in an inn, at the end of riding his circuit, about to make his report to the Order and have some non assigned time. 

Okay, you know what? Lemme just share some of that opening: 

Stripped out of his armor and just in his jeans and undershirt, Barry sank gratefully to the bed. He sat on the edge with a still-warm roll in his hand. The roll was soft and fresh and not something he’d cooked for himself over a campfire so he wasn’t going to question what the meat in it was. It was sheer luxury compared to his rough camps of the last few months.

He downed the roll in a few bites and laid back on the bed. He’d been riding circuit in a rather remote area since mid-winter. Most of the time he’d slept in his chainmail to be more ready to fight at short notice. But the worst of the problems on the route had been dealt with. A nasty group of imps were cleared out, a camp of trolls dealt with, and a hundred other problems taken care of. There were towns that would be safer. And of course the north pass was more ready for travelers and traders now that spring was beginning.

He was once again free to follow divine inspiration instead of the bureaucracy of his order. Neither of those was fair though. The work he’d been doing was necessary. And divine inspiration wasn’t exactly what had led him in most of his time.

Or maybe it was, he didn’t really know. If he found himself on a road maybe he was led there by his calling even if it didn’t come with a booming voice in his head or a divine light guiding him. In more than thirty years he’d never personally experienced either of those.

With that thought in mind, he closed his eyes and tried Divine Sense. This was usually what he did when he was wasn’t under direct orders from the cathedral. Whenever he tried this, the best he could hope for was some vague sense of ‘east’ or ‘inland’ that could have been anything, certainly could have been his own thoughts. Still, he concentrated on letting Lathander work through him, direct his thoughts to somewhere he was needed, somewhere he was destined to…

He was up and reaching for his armor before he was even aware. Despite years of experience donning his gear in a hurry, he couldn’t yank things on fast enough. Once his chain mail was in place, he began buckling his chest plate before he stopped.

This problem he’d sensed was nearby… very near. If he went blazing downstairs again in full plate, shield on his back, and mace at his side, then that was a clear indication that he was ready to fight. Fighting might be avoided if he were calmer, more cautious.

Everything in him rebelled at the thought. He was needed now and he needed his gear. He didn’t slow to consider anything else. Once his plate armor pieces were strapped on over his mail he pulled on his helm and grabbed his mace and shield.

So the idea was that he was being directed - and far more overtly than he’d ever been before - to save Lup. She was in trouble very, very close, and he (taking a page from Magnus) rushed in to save her.

Only she’s not so happy to be saved. She and Taako had gotten mixed up in some nefarious stuff and Taako has gone missing. The bad guys of the moment have brought her in to account for her missing brother - or more importantly the stuff he was supposed to have retrieved. When Barry busts in she’s being interrogated while suffering the effects of a torturous poison that will kill her if she doesn’t answer them satisfactorily enough to be given healing/the antidote.

Facing this and worried about her brother, she definitely doesn’t want a nosy paladin getting involved. Unfortunately for her wishes, the bad guys decide she doesn’t have the information he wants and abandons her to the poison and the paladin. 

In this AU these two are definitely not pining from the start. They kind of hate each other or close to it. She sees him as both the person who is responsible for the predicament she ends up in (essentially indebted to his Order for her healing and further than ever from finding her brother) and he’s not too thrilled to be saddled with this angry, unwilling “assistant” as well as reminded he’s getting to the age he should retire from his duties after one last round of patrol, this time with a trainee.

Of course this is enemies to lovers, they uncover a mass conspiracy reaching to unexpected places and come across some familiar characters during their travels. Their first assignment, for example, ends up being to find out what’s been slaughtering the livestock at the farm of Magnus and Julia Burnsides. 

Oh, and Barry wears bluejeans under his chainmail.

#paladin AU #barry bluejeans #lup #taz balance #barry and lup #blupjeans #it was a really fun but probably overly ambitious WIP #that has sadly fallen completely off the list of things likely to ever be finished #it was a lot of fun writing a barry who was NOT wrapped around lup's finger though #also he was so used to being alone #he was very very quiet #and when he did talk to her he wasn't anxious awkward #but instead came across as being a bit dumb #she was absolutely trying to manipulate him #figuring she could seduce him so she could get her way #and get back to trying to find and rescue taako #oh! and uh... the life span discrepancy was dealt with #and uh... basically there was definitely a reason he was drawn to becoming a paladin #after being told his whole life by his mother that it was what he would do #(AKA his father was a celestial slash avatar of lathander) #oh and lup realizes she actually loves him #when he's grievously injured #and she's granted holy power from lathander as well #and heals him #leading to that previously mentioned discussion about chastity and holy power etc #Anonymous

[nachtkissen]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Adventure Zone (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Taako (The Adventure Zone), Lup (The Adventure Zone), Magnus Burnsides, The Director | Lucretia, Davenport (The Adventure Zone), Merle Highchurch, Barry Bluejeans Additional Tags: Humor, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, but not really because TECHNICALLY it doesn't contradict canon, alcohol mention Summary:

This is a story about how a bunch of idiots lost their surnames.

#taz #the adventure zone #taz balance #taako #lup #posting fics still makes me anxious af screams #magnus burnsides #lucretia #davenport #taz merle #barry bluejeans

[herbgerblin]

WIP Ask Game of Shame — Please tell me more about your Royalty AU (Barry teaches Lup and Taako Common)!!

This got longer than I thought (words spoken seconds before disaster) But this is like, two of the meatier bits of the idea:

--

“Lucretia, do I need to beg. Is that what I have to do to get out of this? Beg?”

Lucretia looked only half apologetic. “Barry, there’s no way I can take over for you, and that’s it.”

When Barry agreed to teach the twin crowns of Twosun the distinct flavor of Common spoken in his land, so that the Kingdoms of Faerune and Twosun could come to some diplomatic agreements, he was not prepared for the emotional whirlwind it would put him through. Their arrival two months prior had been a source of celebration for all involved. A sign that peace would come to the strife-riddled lands.

But those two months seemed to entail only more strife for Barry himself. The princess called him a nerd the second she laid eyes on him, and it only got worse from there. She never did so in eyeshot, but he could hear her whisper in her brother's ear every time Barry would walk past them, either in the halls or at council. And she never referred to him directly by his given name. The moniker ‘Barry Bluejeans’ stuck to him so hard that even the Faeruni members of the High Council had adopted it.

The prince was no better, but at least he seemed more lax in his chidding. Taako, as he was known, hung far back in the council room, where he could pay as little attention as he wanted. The princess Lup however, was as involved as the prince was impartial. In royal affairs and in personal affairs. Barry swore that she was seeking him out to torment him, with how often they crossed paths on a given day. The only time he couldn't fumble his way out of running into her was when they had their lessons.

Those were a unique nightmare. From what Barry understood, the twins mostly spoke Elvish. So that was how he addressed them. But they also spoke another language that he wasnt familiar with. And he never missed the moments he said or did something, and the twins would look at each other, then pass a word or two that he didn't know. Barry didn't cosider himself a polyglot, but he had spent a few years studying in Twosun, and knew it wouldn't be too hard to bridge the Common spoken there with Faeruni Common. But being the odd one out in his own lessons felt rather unfair.

Not to mention, every time Lup's eyes fell on him, he felt his heart rate increase soundly. He was anxious on a good day, but downright panicky when it came to her. She was sharp and terrifying and inescapable. He probably had many reasons to dislike her, but that was a big part of the problem—He DID like her. A lot.

--------

Taako shook his head. “I’m gonna stay here and hang with my good pal Barold for a few minutes.”

Both Barry and Lup gave Taako odd looks, but Lup let her's slip off with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Suit yourself," she declared. She glanced at Barry, and he once again felt his face grown warm. Lup gave him a small curtsy, and said, "Until our next lesson."

"R-right," Barry stammered. "Good afternoon."

The door wasn't even shut a second behind her, before Taako sat up in his seat and clapped his hands together. “You’ve got it bad, don’t you, Bluejeans?”

“I’ve got what bad?” Barry asked, exhaling.

“It. For my sister. Lup.”

If Barry had been drinking a beverage in that moment, he’d be choking on it. He wasn’t, but the air he was breathing seemed to suffice. Taako gave him a few supportive claps on the back to break through the disbelieving cough that worked its way in Barry’s throat.

“You can’t be serious,” Barry managed to wheeze out.

“I’m about as serious as you are,” Taako replied. “Which, from my vantage point, seems to be a whole lot.”

“I’m not—”

“My elf eyes can see through bullshit, Barold,” Taako quipped. “I’m more than aware of when some poor schmuck has the hots for my sister.”

Barry wanted to jump out the window. He wanted to dig a deep grave out in the royal couryards and bury himself in it. “Taako, I’m just here to make sure the two of you get a conversational grasp on Common.”

Taako pinched the bridge of his nose. “My dude—be cool about this Barry—we’re both already fluent in Faeruni Common. We’re fluent in a whole mess of languages.”

“You...wha...?”

“Sitting in on those council sessions were boring as hell,” He said, in perfect Faeruni Common. Accentless, even. “Tutoring gave us a break for an hour and half. You didn't think we were going to let that go to waste, did you?"

Barry's chest suddenly felt very hollow. He asked, painfully, “So I....this was just to give you guys a break?”

Taako let some of the nonchalance fall from his face. He said, “Don’t feel bad, Barry. You’re a pretty good teacher. You managed to make these lessons interesting. Which is a hell of a lot more than I can say for the tutors we grew up with.”

“Thanks,” Barry said, not really feeling it. “But should I...how long is this going to go on?”

Taako groaned. “Until either of you boneheads get through each other's thick ass skulls. Why do you think she’s been flirting with you all the damn time?”

Against his will, Barry's face went tomato red. He clenched his jaw and insisted, “She’s not been flirting.”

“What do you call all the stupid questions she's been asking?" Taako asled. "Why do you thinking she's always getting you to sit beside her and check her writing?"

Barry could mentally conceed that Lup was the more inquiring of the two. Despite teasing him ceasely, there were moments when she could be very engaging, even funny. She inisted on copying Barry's speeches with a made up voice of her own. Taako would partake in the sheningans for a few minutes. But he was prone to boredom, and tuck his head in a book to ignore the other two for the rest of the lesson. Thinking on it, Barry realized that he spent a large portion of the time talking to Lup.

Barry muttered, “I’d hardly count that as flirting.”

“Gods, you Faeruni are all so square,” Taako said, which was funny to hear him say in Common. Elvish sounded so much more elegant in comparison. “She is, and I’m tired of watching it all get shot down so baldfacedly. As least give her the decency of being let down gently.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Barry said quietly.

“I know you wouldn’t,” Taako said. “Why do you think I’ve been putting up with this song and dance for so long without a word of shovel talk? I carry the sacred role of venting the losers and the bruisers. And you won't even fufilll your end of the bargain.”

Barry was tired of the goofs. He waved a dismissive hand and said, “Taako, I get that you’re defensive of your sister, and you have every right to be.”

Taako looked at Barry like he wanted to claw the latter’s eyes out. Barry ignored this. "I'm just here to make sure we reach peace.”

He stood up and started cleaning his desk, if only to give himself something to do with his hands. “You two can continue to hang out here during lesson time. I’ll think of something to tell the council. We’ll have to progress one way or another, but we can mutually make use of the free time.”

Taako let out a slow sigh, before hoisting himself to his own feet. “FINE. I guess. Not for lack of trying and all that biz.” Before twirling to exit the classroom, Taako gave Barry one last dubious look. “You’re really not going to tell the council on us?”

Barry shook his head. “Not as long as you don’t tell them I’ve also been using tutoring to get out of sessions.”

“Fuck yeah.”

#i may add more later if i think of anything else #lord willin and the creek don't rise as my momma would say #ask meme #my writing #askherbgerb #blupjeans #taz balance #the adventure zone #lup #barry blujeans #taako #lucretia

[umbraastaff]

“Look, I’m, I mean I get that you’re an official dude, but I didn’t do anything wrong, I’m pretty sure,” says Barry Bluejeans, a man who hasn’t done anything of particular note in his whole life. “I know I’ve, y’know, I’ve done a few hits, but that’s-- that’s standard bodyguard fare. Which doesn’t seem like your area.”

“It’s not,” says the Grim Reaper, who told Barry earlier and with much exasperation that his name was Kravitz. As though he should’ve known already.

“So then what’s...? It’s not like I make a habit of engaging in fuckin’ blasphemy. Oh, unless swearing counts? I don’t know if I can really curb that one.”

“You are literally a--” Kravitz says, and then a jarring sound comes out of his mouth. Something Barry doesn’t quite have the word for, because it’s kind of like when the stage play you’re watching gets fucked up, except this sound doesn’t happen on a stage, so he doesn’t know why that comes to mind. It’s like rushing water or pouring sand, if either of those things were immensely, deeply unsettling.

“Okay, well, I’m guessing the cussing thing ain’t the problem, because I’ve--that’s, uh,” Barry swallows. “I’ve never heard that one before, and it sounded like maybe you were saying something pretty rude, so, uh. Well.”

“Look,” Kravitz says, “I can’t explain it, and, also! I don’t ‘ave to explain it! I’ve got the authority here. And I’ve got to keep an eye on you. You’re on parole. Ah, supervised parole. Whatever words you wanna put on it, really, I just have to be here. And trust me, I’m far less a fan of the situation than you.”

Barry flips the coin in his hand idly, watching the agitation twitch on Kravitz’s face. He seems almost more anxious than annoyed. “Kinda doubt that.”

“Just get going to where you told yourself to go, already!” Kravitz snaps, watching the coin. It spoke to Barry before this inane conversation even started, with a monologue Kravitz watched the lich record. “Another cave east of here, right?”

“What, so you can watch me die of gerblins n’ get my soul when it pops out?”

“Gods, I wish! No, Barry Bluejeans, I have a much harder job: I’m going to keep you alive.”

#taz balance #the adventure zone #taz kravitz #barry bluejeans #mine #writes #idk what this is #actually i do kinda but idk if im gonna do anything with it! have fun w this tho

[dirtyblupjeans]

kinktober 2021 - day 1 - anonymous sex

1-anonymous sex

Since his last relationship had ended, Barry had been even more anxious and out of sorts. He’d ping ponged back and forth between working too much and drinking too much. Neither were working particularly well for him.

Getting the reminder that the membership the two of them had bought to a private BDSM club was about to expire had hit him weird. On an impulse he’d gone alone.

Somehow he hadn’t expected to see her here. With her new boyfriend.

He was under no illusion that the relationship had been the best. He was glad she’d found someone. But they’d seemed like such a good match, everyone had said. And he was all too aware that he was rushing towards the far side of over-the-hill. The opportunities for love and marriage and children and all that stuff he’d always assumed would happen one day were evaporating in front of his eyes.

It didn’t help that she was with someone fifteen years younger than him at least.

He’d let it influence him into doing something he wouldn’t have done. There was pushing boundaries and then there was careening wildly past his comfort zone.

Standing with his hands bound over his head, blindfolded, wearing only his jeans was pretty far past his comfort zone. He’d thought it would help him get out of his own head but instead he seemed to be worming deeper and deeper in.

Then he heard her laugh. The sound had been increasingly absent from their time together towards the end but now it went through him like an electric shock.

Was she laughing at him? Laughing with her new guy? Laughing that she’d wasted time on this aging guy with the unimpressive body?

He felt himself trying to shrink in smaller somehow, disappear inside himself. He knew there were three others on the stage with him, knew there were monitors watching for all of their safety, knew those people wouldn’t let the other members make fun of volunteers. (Unless that was something they wanted and agreed to.)

But knowing that didn’t mean much when he felt so vulnerable.

“Relax, handsome,” a voice near his ear said. “You’re safe, babe. Do you want to back out or are you up for staying a little longer? Maybe playing with me a little?”

His head twisted, turning towards the voice even though he couldn’t see.

“MmmmMmm, babe, can’t see me. That’s part of the fun.”

He couldn’t help turning towards her voice though, even knowing he couldn’t see the owner of that unique sing-song tone.

“So you didn’t answer, babe. How are you doing? You know club rules: green is good, red is stop, yellow is getting anxious. So give me a color rating, bluejeans.”

“Gr-green,” he stammered out.

“Mmm, yeah, try again, babe. I’ve seen green and this ain’t it. Do we need to talk more or should I just let you down? Yellow or red?”

“Y-yellow,” he admitted.

“Okay, what’s got you feeling yellow?” she asked. The concern in her voice startled him.

She dropped her voice to just above a whisper, moving close to his ear to whisper, “Just you and me, babe. You can talk to me.”

“It’s uh…” he swallowed. Why did he want to tell her? “Uh. My ex. I heard her laughing,” he responded quietly, his head hanging so low he was practically murmuring into his chest.

“Oh yeah, babe, that’s a mindfuck,” she answered. Her voice was still low but the understanding was clear in her tone. “But fuck her. It’s just you and me, just your sexy ass fillin’ out those jeans so good, and me, who you can’t see but trust me, I look so good it’s probably lucky you can’t see me. Might be too much for your heart.”

He’d just begun to relax but that got him again.

And she noticed immediately. “What is it babe? You were just starting to calm down into green, I could see. Now you’re back to being all tense and unhappy. Totally the opposite of our goal here.”

For some reason the truth spilled out of him again. “‘Too much for my heart,’” he whispered. “‘Cause I’m old.”

“Ohhh, babe, no. You’re a baby! I mean, okay, obviously not a baby! A totally handsome grown man with an ass that won’t quit. I mean, I’m an elf, so not great at estimating ages but trust me, you’re young. But you’re underestimating how totally amazing I look.”

She trailed fingers through his hair, slipping a finger under the elastic of his blindfold and letting it snap gently back into place. “But you’ll just have to take my word for it.”

“There ya go,” she encouraged. “You’re relaxing again. Good work. Now, tell me how you’re feeling and be honest. You’re not gonna hurt my feelings if we need to call halt.”

“Uh…” he considered. He could say ‘red’ and get out of this. No one would judge him. He could say ‘red’ and go home and let his membership lapse and let all of this go.

“Yellow,” he answered softly.

“Good job. Now, do you want to be green? Do you want to stay here and have some fun? Cause I think we could. And you must have signed up for this for a reason, right?”

“I… uh…” He swallowed again and licked his lips.

She slid her hands down his shoulders and along his back, her palms warm on his skin.

“I’ve been stuck,” he admitted.

His nameless companion hummed thoughtfully. “Well, this could certainly be a fun way to get unstuck. I didn’t think I recognized you as being around here much. This isn’t really your scene, is it?”

Barry shook his head. “No,” he answered. Then he remembered where he was. “Uh… no, ma’am?”

She laughed and it was so different from hearing his ex laugh. This was warm and felt like it included him. “Nah, you don’t have to do any of that stuff. I can just be the scorching hot voice and talented hands helping you get… unstuck. You don’t have to do any of the dom/sub protocol. Except your safety colors! Those we definitely keep.”

Sliding her hands around his middle, she came to stand in front of him. “But you can call me ‘miss’ if you like. Hearing ma’am from someone as young as you makes me feel like I’m taking advantage.” Chuckling again, she trailed a single finger down the center of his chest, moving south and south and south. “Which, considering you’re all tied up, I suppose I almost am. But you’ve still got those safe words, right? How ya feelin’ now?”

“Uh, green,” he answered, surprised. “I’m… I’m green.”

“So you are,” she agreed and he could hear the smile in her voice. “So would you stay green if I pulled these jeans off?”

He considered.

“I’d really like to check out this ass of yours,” she said. “And, as I said, I think we could have some fun getting you… unstuck.”

Nodding, he agreed. “Yeah. I… I think I can stay green.”

The finger trailing down over his stomach settled in the edge of his waistband, pulling the button loose.

And Barry was aware he was more than ‘green’ now. He was getting hard.

She slid his zipper down and began tugging his pants lower, sliding them off his hips. He’d skipped the boxers since he was going to the club. Most of the men here dressed in skin tight leather pants or skimpy briefs. He’d hoped going commando in jeans was an acceptable middleground.

“Oh, babe, is that for me?” she asked, her voice delighted.

He bit his lip then nodded slightly.

“Oh, you’re a treasure. I thought for sure you were gonna ask to get down and instead… Still green if I touch you?”

“Mmmhmmm,” he answered, his hips shifting unconsciously, craving her touch.

Warm fingers wrapped expertly around him and his wrists twisted in their soft leather bindings as a low moan slid out of him.

“Mmm. Very nice.” Still keeping him in hand, her other hand slid around his hip to palm an asscheek. “Very, very nice. You’ve got some choice goods, sir.”

The rest of the club had fallen out of his head. There was only her voice and her hands and his hardened cock.

“You’re doing great,” she encouraged. “Hold on just a moment for me?”

Her hands disappeared and he heard a disappointed noise, like a whimper. It took a moment to realize it had come from him. Then her hand was back on his dick and this time it was warm and wet, liquid sliding over him as she worked her hand slowly along his length.

“That’s better, babe,” she said. “I’d like to get my mouth on you. Other parts too. But with this position and all… well, let’s just get you unstuck, yeah?”

Another noise came from him, a greedy hum of agreement.

She laughed and he felt as wrapped up in the sound as his cock was in her fingers, like everything warm and wonderful was winding around him and making him feel good.

“Just enjoy this, okay? It’s just you and me and this gorgeous ass of yours.” She adjusted her hold, the lube well covering him now. When she took hold of him again it was to begin slowly pumping him. “Just focus on this, okay?”

He nodded again, ready to do anything she asked of him.

Her other hand was on his chest, the hand on his dick sliding back and forth with just the right pressure, just the perfect speed. It was absolutely glorious.

“You’re doing great,” she promised again. And her voice was so close, right near his ear again. He could picture her - though not exactly, of course - standing close, leaning in to whisper to him while she jerked him off, her speed building faster, her thumb sliding slickly over the tip of his cock every few strokes.

His hips were angling forward each time she did, working with her strokes. His breath was coming faster and the hand she’d put on his chest rode his sternum with each inhale and exhale.

“Keep listening to my voice, focusing on my hand touching you, on how good you feel, on how good you’re doing,” she continued. “You’re doing so good, babe. And in just a minute - not yet! - but in just a minute you’re gonna come for me, aren’t you?”

He nodded eagerly.

“What a good boy,” she said, her tone pleased.

Her hand was moving faster, pumping over his cock with swift, slick strokes.

“Not yet.”

A few more strokes.

“Not yet.”

He whined and fought to hold it, wanting to wait even as he felt ready to burst.

“Come for me,” she whispered in his ear, nipping softly at his earlobe.

His control shattered and the orgasm ripped through him. She kept pumping him, her movements slower but still encouraging every drop of release.

Finally, he hung exhausted, aware once more of his hands fastened in leather cuffs above him, his shoulders becoming sore from the position, of the cool breeze against parts of him that didn’t normally feel cool breezes.

“You did so good, babe. So, so good. Lemme get you cleaned up then…”

He felt an unfamiliar shimmer of magic. She’d used magic to clean his mess!

“I’m gonna let your hands down now, okay? But… babe, can you do me a favor?”

He nodded again. Whatever it was she asked, he’d do it. He felt loose and wonderful and entirely unstuck.

“I’m undoing your cuffs but wait to take your blindfold off, okay? I… I want to leave this as a little bit of anonymous fun for now, okay? But maybe we’ll see each other around here again?”

He frowned a little but nodded. “Okay,” he agreed. He wanted to know who she was, wanted to return the favor and more. But he’d do as she asked.

She leaned against him as she reached up to undo his cuffs. He felt them release and his shoulders sagged in relief. She pressed a kiss to his jaw. “You did great,” she told him again. Then, pressing his jeans into his hands, she whispered, “See you ‘round, babe!”

It took far more control not to rip his blindfold off and catch a glimpse of her than it had to hold back his orgasm until she’d asked him to let go. But he left it there and his eyes closed for good measure, counting to ten before pulling it loose.

No one was looking at him with any particular interest. The dungeon monitor in the corner glanced at him, then back to the others still on the stage.

Barry pulled his jeans on, tucked himself away, and zipped them carefully.

Well.

He definitely felt unstuck.

And he was definitely renewing his membership.

#kinktober #kinktober taz #blupjeans #kinktober 2021 #smut prompts

[redlichbluelich]

@taalko​

They’re out at some small café to talk about... recent events. The atmosphere in the house was suffocating, and Barry didn’t want Taako to feel cornered. And he’ll have the opportunity to pad the conversation with fake complaints about how shitty this scone is, or whatever he wants to latch onto in the main topic’s stead.

“So... It can’t be Fisher,” Barry is saying, trying very hard to be the level presence in the face of Taako’s nerves. “No static, and I could still re-learn what I lost, which is--that’s good. So if it happens to you, we’re gonna be there for you, okay?”

“Though we don’t even know if it’d affect you the same way--or at all, I mean. I didn’t know any of you when I was that young like you, and you didn’t have the memories flipped on and off like me. Just the one long stretch. So there might--I mean, there might be nothing to worry--to worry about, uh,”

He’s getting increasingly anxious, trying to keep this conversation chill. It’s hard to talk. Some fear in the depths of Taako’s expression is making the scar on his chest ache. Barry Bluejeans is losing his train of thought. What were they talking about? Why were they even--here, again? He’s so fucking nervous, like, shit, he needs to make a good impression, ‘cause somehow he netted this really cute guy on a date, but he’s gonna lose him if he starts freaking out.

What was he talking about, some science-y stuff? Man, he must’ve gotten really out of it to bullshit that hard. He also doesn’t feel like the smart-acting vibe is coming back to him anytime soon, and he barely even remembers the conversation topic, so he needs to find some way out of that. “...But, uh, that’s just--y’know, that’s just my thoughts, and you seem like a--you seem like a real smart guy, honestly, probably already thought of all that, right? I’m just Barry Bluejeans. What’s, uh--what’re your thoughts about the... this?”

#Do you trust me? {{ IC }} #taalko #oh boy :') #taalko 2

[luobingmeis]

Out of curiosity and a love of blupjeans and angst, what sorta hurt/comfort are you thinking about?

oh god last night i was lost in the blupjeans sauce and i woke up thinking abt blupjeans.........

i was just thinking abt general stuff!!!! like...... lup making barry a magical nightlight bc he’s scared of the dark (i actually think she makes him those stars that you can tack up on ceilings, except they’re magical so they move and make constellations that matched the time of year on their home world). lup comforting barry when he’s nervous and anxious...... a lot of lup helping barry out bc last night really was loving barry bluejeans o’clock

i was also thinking abt a situation where barry was anxiously like “oh my god, lup deserves better than me, she is all that, and i’m this” and he tries to hold it in for a while but, finally, he just anxiously panics and lup is immediately like “uh, hold up, absolutely not, i’ve loved you from afar for forty years, and i love you more and more each day, and nothing is going to change that”

#blupjeans #do u guys have... certain characters in ships that u cling onto more #bc for whatever reason #i vibe hard w/ barry #literally no clue why!!!! bc i love both of them #and would kill for lup (and to be her tbh) #but i see barry and i'm like same hat!!! #in a super vague way #i think it's the loving lup #answered #Anonymous