#anybody have any insight or advice about this?

[midknightwritings]

im having the biggest brainrot over this idea so yay req time

au where knights (seperatly) are royalty and their s/o is their own personal knight,,, and Shenanigans happen with each of them,, God i hope this makes sense im not very good with words 😭

Royal!Knights & their Knight!S/O

Synopsis : Being the personal knight tasked with protecting and directly serving your kingdom’s ruler often leads to eventful, and memorable, moments. Especially when said ruler is also your lover.

Era : N / A

Warning/s : "Beauty" is used once as a gender-neutral descriptor

Mentioned Character/s : G/N!Reader / Tsukasa / Leo / Izumi / Arashi / Ritsu

A/N : Anon… YOUR BRAIN IS SO MASSIVE FOR THIS !! Omg now I’m brainrotting over this idea too cuz I’m such a sucker for royal AUs 😭 But for the sake of the fluff, just imagine that their kingdom is open to the idea of royals being in a relationship with anybody, regardless of their status LMAO

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

Tsukasa Suou :

Tsukasa deeply respects your opinion because he knows that you want the best for him and his people. During meetings, he would often seek out your advice. From military tactics to what colour the banners should be for the upcoming festival, Tsukasa trusts you with all his heart and will accept your guidance with open arms. If he's busy with important matters, other castle personnel would seek you out instead as they know that your insight will be the closest to what their king would desire.

He always invites you to tea time !! Tsukasa says it's a reward for working so diligently but you know the truth~ This is the only time he can drop his royal facade and be himself. He wants to share these intimate moments with the one he loves the most !! Mmm~ The taste of this brioche is marvelous !! Here, take a bite. You'll love it~

Tsukasa deeply admires your skills as a knight and secretly desires to train alongside you. One day, you noticed this and decided to personally train your lover in sword-fighting. Now, sword training became a part of his weekly schedule and, even though it gets tiring at times, Tsukasa still holds these moments with you close to his heart~ After all, he's doing something he's passionate about with you !! What more could he ask for?

In the late hours of the night, when the castle is quiet and everyone's asleep, Tsukasa would sometimes sneak out of his bedroom and into the kitchen to try and teach himself how to bake. He does this because he wants to give you a [ F/F ] cake one day !! It's quite difficult to be quiet AND to teach himself at the same time but he's trying his best !!

During royal balls, he's such a gentleman when it comes to entertaining the guests, but if you catch him at the right moments, you'll be able to see how his eyes often glance towards you. How his gaze lingers on you for a while as a soft smile grace his lips. Once the ball is over, he'll gently take your hand and guide you to the castle gardens, where he would ask if he could have this dance. Eyes full of love and his smile never faltering, he'll take your hand in his and hum a familiar tune as you both dance under the moonlight.

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

Leo Tsukinaga :

You’re the only one in the entire kingdom who can somehow find your king every time he gets lost when he’s out composing. Initially, your fellow knights were panicking as they ran around the entire castle trying to track down the king. After all, he couldn’t possibly have gone far !! R-right…? Well… As the royal guards were checking every nook and cranny to ever exist, your instincts casually guided you to where your lover was. Without hesitation, you found Leo instantly. To this day, nobody can truly comprehend just how impressive your Leo-radar is, and it amazes them every time.

Leo straight up wouldn’t let you call him “your highness”, “your majesty”, “my lord” or any honorific similar to those. This is because he loves the way his actual name rolls off your tongue as he finds his royal titles to be too suffocating. Hearing “Leo” come from you, his lover, makes him feel like Leo, a person, rather than Leo, the king. He would get pouty if you use honorifics in royal meetings or gatherings but understands why you used them [ no matter how much he dislikes them ] but, if you use those same honorifics when you're both alone, he would either pretend that he can’t hear you or say things like, “Aaahhh~!! Who are you talking to? I don’t know who this ‘your highness’ person is~”

The amount of songs Leo composed that's inspired by you is astounding !! You don’t realize just how much inspiration Leo gains from you as his muse. Your eyes could tentatively scan through the crowd for any dangers and Leo already came up with a whole symphony !! You glanced at him from across the room and gave him a soft smile during a meeting? Well… Now the meeting turned into several advisors holding their king back from composing on the royal map !! No matter what you do, whether it’s a conscious or unconscious choice, a melody immediately fills Leo’s mind and he can’t help but write !! He hopes to one day create a symphony that, in his eyes, can truly capture your beauty entirely.

During royal balls, Leo would flat out refuse to dance with anybody except you. It doesn’t matter if they’re the heir to the richest kingdom in the country or if they’re the most sought out ruler for marriage; Without hesitation, he'd immediately turn them down. For Leo, waltzing is something intimate as he views it as a way where partners become one as they synchronize with one another through music. He doesn’t want to share something as sacred as this with anyone else except you.

Even when you're not on duty, Leo would still find a way to be with you. Oh? You're going to town? What a coincidence !! Leo needed to check the progress on the upcoming festival, why not accompany him there? You're relaxing in your room? Knock, knock~ The king is free for tea time and is wondering if you could please grace him with your presence~ Whether you're on duty or not, being by each other's side gives you both a sense of comfort that no one else can give.

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

Izumi Sena :

Izumi deeply cares about you but shows it through more subtle means. Actions speak louder than words, after all !! He tries to keep up his image of royalty but, if you squint hard enough, you can easily see that facade crumbling if he notices something off from you any way, shape or form. So here, take a seat !! You've been standing all day long, right? Huh?! What do you mean "You're ok”?! Are you disobeying the direct orders from your king? Mhmm~ That’s what he thought~

If you’re not on duty, Izumi's seemingly more grumpier than usual. This sometimes causes the entire castle to practically walk on eggshells because they don’t want to inconvenience their king even more than he apparently is. Though, his mood would instantly shift the moment his eyes land on you. He’ll definitely request for the two of you to walk around the castle gardens just to compensate for the lost time you were not with him~

Izumi hates seeing you fall into unhealthy habits even if you can’t help it sometimes. As the knight that directly serves him, it’s your duty to protect your lover but, even then, he still wouldn't have any of it !! He’ll make you swear to go to bed after escorting him to his bedroom, never skip meals even if you have training right after and take adequate amounts of breaks. This is to help you stay competent in emergency situations and it’s totally not because he’s worried for your personal well-being or anything like that !!

Izumi will personally style your uniform when it comes to important gatherings such as balls, festivals, meetings, etc. He would often add small trinkets from his own accessory collection as a subtle way to connect the two of you together. Izumi would never say anything, but when your gaze alternates between the shining brooch on his tie and the similar one he’s putting on you right now, you can't help but softly smile. If you're quick enough, you might even catch just how much his eyes shine with love and admiration for you, and you alone.

Although Izumi puts up the “strong king” facade for his people, during the rare, quiet moments between the two of you, filled with comfort and relief, he’ll shed away that persona and become a man who’s completely head-over-heels for the amazing knight that’s been by his side this entire time. Embracing you protectively in his arms, he’ll hum a soft tune that lulls you to sleep as the rhythmic beating of his heart accompanies the sweet lullaby that’ll only be heard by you.

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

Arashi Narukami :

Arashi definitely has an entire section of the castle gardens dedicated to flowers that reminded her of you. Ranging from roses, to honeysuckles, to sunflowers, peonies, hydrangeas and more. This section of her garden is honestly the most stunning and guests are often left in 'awe' by its sheer beauty every time they visit the castle. Arashi personally maintains the flowers herself as a way to further dedicate herself to you.

She dresses up in pretty gowns and outfits in order to impress you. She would sometimes sneak in subtle questions or comments to figure out what your favourite colours, aesthetic, and overall style is before she would ask the royal tailor to incorporate those elements in her next outfit. Her heart never fails to skip a beat when you look at her with wide eyes and lips slightly agape when you see her wear the outfit for the first time. Don’t worry though~ She’s always one-step ahead as she requested the tailor to create a matching outfit for you. So now you’re both matching !!

She openly dotes on you and doesn’t care if others are watching. You’re actually the one that tries to stay professional but that plan immediately fails the moment your beloved queen cups your cheeks in her hands and plants a ton of kisses on your face. It doesn’t matter if you just finished training or if you were tasked with guarding the dining room door, Arashi wants to show the world how much she loves you~

During the more stressful days, you would help sneak Arashi out of the castle and take her to a secluded area of the town that’s filled with stray cats. You would feed them, play with them and take care of them together as a way to help her unwind and de-stress. Arashi even named every single cat and they love her so much that they would often sneak into the castle grounds just to visit Arashi for some caresses !! From then on, during tea time, there would be a ton of cats surrounding both you and Arashi as the two of you would caress them while enjoying each other's presence.

If Arashi ever needs a partner or an escort, she will always choose you without any hesitation !! It doesn’t matter that you’re literally her personal knight [ which puts you on automatic escort duty ], she’ll still say your name first without any second thoughts. A free pass to hold your hand and have you protectively stay by her side outside her kingdom? Sign her up !!

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

Ritsu Sakuma :

Being Ritsu’s personal knight automatically makes you his pillow !! He gets lulled to sleep so easily when he’s touching you, whether he's laying on your lap, feeling you gently stroke his hair, hugging you, or just feeling your uniform in between his fingers. They all give him a sense of comfort that relieves him from the stresses of being a royal. Oftentimes, if you’re not by his side, Ritsu would reach out to try to find you and, when he finally does, he’ll pull you close and snuggle into you. Good luck trying to escape his grasp~

His most common mode of transportation during the day is you carrying him bridal style. The kingdom is nocturnal in order to accommodate for the royal family but, there are times where he needs to stay awake during the day for meetings or other important gatherings. During days like these, castle personnel can catch you carrying him in your arms. Ritsu would be snuggled close to your chest as you try to wake him up with a soft smile and gentle voice.

Ritsu loves to tease you as he enjoys seeing your reactions !! Most of his teasing would happen when you’re being serious or stoic because he wants to see how much you can handle before your persona breaks and you become a blushing, stuttering mess. To others, it’s quite the sight seeing their majesty get [ playfully ] scolded by his personal knight, but Ritsu would always laugh it off and tease you even further. This results in you losing your cool completely as you try to hide your blushing face with your hands. He’ll give you a ton of kisses to make up for it though, so don’t worry~

He’s very perceptive when it comes to your emotions and would often bring you to a quiet area of the castle [ under "your majesty's orders” ] if he ever notices you getting overwhelmed or stressed. No matter how many times you insist that you’re fine and nothing’s wrong, Ritsu knows better and will ignore your comments as he gently pushes your head onto his lap. Now this time, you’re the one who’s now laying on his lap as he gently strokes your hair. Ritsu will even sing you a soft lullaby, helping you relax as you eventually fall asleep; The comforting melody from his voice filling your ears.

You’re both protective over each other but Ritsu can be quite clingy~ He tends to stick to your side rather than the other way around. Usually, you’re ordered to provide the royal family with enough space, where you’re far enough for them to interact with others comfortably, but close enough to protect him from any sort of danger. Though, if you're too far from him, he’ll just pull you back close and ask why you’re trying to “escape” [ he knows you’re not, he’s just teasing you~ ] So now, Ritsu's draped over your shoulders as you support his weight, trying to explain for the 100th time that you're "just outside the door" and that you'll "be back once lunch is over."

#tsukasa suou x reader #leo tsukinaga x reader #izumi sena x reader #arashi narukami x reader #ritsu sakuma x reader #ensemble stars #enstars #knights x reader #knights x y/n #knights x you #enstars x reader #ensemble stars x reader #enstars x y/n #ensemble stars x y/n #enstars x you #ensemble stars x you #gender neutral reader #esworks #🍬 hansel's writing

[wyattjohnston]

waiting to break - jack hughes

series: we don’t have no time to waste

summary: the tough conversations are the ones that bring you closer to together.

word count: 1,927

warnings: mentions of abortion, pregnancy fears, bulimia, zegras is also in this if that matters to you

Being back in Michigan always settled Daisy more than ever she recalled—it was the third summer in a row that school had ended, Jack’s season had ended and they touched down in Michigan all tension released from her shoulders.

The back porch became her favourite place quickly, the high afternoon sun warming her skin as she laid claim to a recliner that she wasn’t going to give up for anybody no matter how often the boys complained about her not sharing it around.

A major downside to the back porch was the horrible squeaking made by the sliding door whenever someone came out to talk to her—which, as much as she loved all the boys dearly, was far too often.

Trevor was the first to interrupt her, early one Monday morning, cringing as the door disturbed his attempt at subtlety and offering her a cup coffee.

“Hey, Haisy,” he greeted, using the nickname derived from her Instagram handle. He asked, cautiously, “You doing alright?”

“In what respect?”

“The—you know.”

Daisy’s lip twitched at his vagueness; it was the same way everyone asked her about it.

“The abortion? I’m fine, Trev,” she answered, her voice filled with nothing but honesty. “I have zero regrets about it.”

“Good,” Trevor said, nodding. He finally sat down on the recliner beside her instead of hovering. “Great. That’s—I’m really glad to hear that.”

As much as Trevor could talk, they sat in silence on the porch, staring out through the trees and the garden in front of them. The rest of the house was quiet, no sign of life from anyone else, and the lack of conversation wasn’t great for Daisy’s train of thought.

It was a train of thought that crept in every time she was left to think for any length of time, one that she’d not brought up to anybody else—one that she hadn’t wanted to bring up but it was eating away at her and Trevor felt like the best person to voice it to. Partly because he was there at that moment and partly because he would have the most insight into Jack’s brain.

“I do want to ask you something—tell you something?” she said, unable to make eye contact with him, even as she saw him turn his head in her periphery. “I think I need your advice.”

Trevor was laughing when he spoke, “My advice? I don’t think you’ve ever come to me for advice.”

Daisy drew her knees to her chest, her chin resting atop them.

“Jack and I… we haven’t…” she inhaled so deep her lungs hurt and then continued, all in one breath, “Trevor, I’m so scared of getting pregnant again that Jack and I haven’t had sex since March.”

“Oh,” Trevor said, no longer laughing. “Really? He didn’t tell me that. What do you need my advice for? I don’t really know how to help you with that.”

It wasn’t far off from what Daisy had been expecting if she was being totally truthful. It had her questioning her decision to talk to Trevor but only briefly before the words started to spill out of her mouth again, a faucet leak that could not be stopped once it started.

“What if he decides he’s had enough of waiting?” she asked rushed despite the whisper she was speaking in. “Like, I haven’t talked to him why and I’m really scared that he’s…” A lump grew in her throat, it was difficult to talk around. “Scared he’s going to leave me if I don’t soon.”

Trevor went silent for just long enough that Daisy had to look at him, moving her cheek to her knees and regretting it when she saw him staring distantly through the trees. She lifted her head just so that she could drink coffee, and followed it up with a long sigh, because maybe getting it out of her head hadn’t been the relief she’d wanted it to be.

The sigh kickstarted Trevor again, a little shake of his head just before he said, assuredly, “Jack’s not going to leave you.”

“Our entire relationship is sex—are we even Jack-and-Daisy if we don’t have sex?”

“Uh, yeah. If your relationship falls apart because you aren’t having sex then the rest of us have no hope in finding true love.” Trevor turned on the recliner, nudged her leg with his foot, and added, “You need to talk to him. I’m not the right person to fix this.”

Another sigh left Daisy before she rose to her feet and to the railing just so that she could lean over it and return some blood back to her brain. Trevor was beside her in an instant, his hand on her upper back in what she could only assume was meant to be comforting—it was really just putting her more on edge.

She straightened up, worried about the potential for anybody else to see them through the door and ask what was going on.

With a tight jaw, she said, “I don’t know how to talk to him about it because I don’t know when I’ll be ready—if I’ll be ready. I can’t risk that again.”

“He’s not leaving you, Daisy. He hasn’t even talked to me about it—the not having sex thing. Definitely no mentions of breaking up with you. You’re a couple of nymphos, sure, but your relationship is more than that.”

“He’s my best friend,” she said with a trembling bottom lip. Trevor was quick to wrap his arms around her, and Daisy held her breath to try and stem the tears. She managed to squeak out, “I’m so scared that if I bring it up it’ll ruin everything.”

He pulled back, sure and clear when he said, “I’ll bring it up with him. You have to have the convo with him, but I can at least get him to start it.” There was a pause, a moment of hesitation, and Daisy waited out the strained look on his face until he added, “You know that the talk is about the pregnancy thing and not just sex, right?”

Her eye roll was affectionate. “Yeah, Trev. Thank you.”

Daisy had no timeframe for whenever Trevor was going to bring anything up with Jack and no desire to rush the eventuality. It had been a painfully long twenty-four hours of playing up the severity of her cramps, just enough to give her an excuse to lay in bed and be grumpy.

Jack came into check on her again when she didn’t make an appearance for dinner, offering to get her whatever she wanted to eat only to be met with a shake of her head because the cramps really were taking their toll. He frowned at her, his eyebrows pulling together so tight it looked painful.

Daisy wished she hadn’t kicked off the covers when she started overheating because she wanted to pull them up around her neck and hide from the concern he was exuding.

He shuffled his feet, his hands wringing uncomfortably in front of him, and said, finally, “I had a chat with Z today.”

Unhindered by any sheets, Daisy launched into a seated position before she had even registered the panic running through her.

“I’m sorry,” she said, hastily and perhaps a little too loudly.

Jack flinched at the unexpected reaction, asking just as quickly and just as loudly, “For what? Why?”

“For not fucking you, for talking to Trev, for not talking to you, for getting pregnant in the first place.” Daisy huffed. “I don’t know.”

“None of those need an apology—especially not getting pregnant, Daisy. That was as much my fault. More, probably. It’s my dick I forgot to wrap up. And I know you’re going to talk about the pill, but you’ve got so much going on. I don’t know how you remember to breathe.”

Daisy laughed a little, most of it getting caught in a hiccough. A small smile formed on Jack’s face, though it wasn’t very convincing. She reached out to him, summoning him towards the bed. As much as she wasn’t wanting to have the conversation, she never gave up any opportunity to be close to him.

He joined her in only a few steps, kneeling beside her on the mattress. She shuffled over just enough to let him sit down properly, and fell into his open arms and he laid them down.

“Did you notice that we aren’t having sex?” she asked meekly, find it easier to talk when she wasn’t looking directly at the concern written all over his face.

“Yeah, I did.”

“You didn’t say anything.”

“We still did other stuff,” Jack said, as it it was painfully obvious, “and I kind of figured you’d talk to me when you were ready. I mostly thought it was school and work stressing you out, but. I probably should have worked out it wasn’t when the semester finished.”

“It’s not a dealbreaker for you?”

“No? I like having sex and I would like to have it with you again—but I need you to want to and I need you to enjoy it and that’s clearly not happening. The other stuff was that—”

“Yeah, Jack, giving you head isn’t going to get me pregnant.”

Jack’s chest shifted, as he exhaled a reluctant laugh. His arms tightened around her just before he moved them around so that they were face to face. She sighed at him, the concern not having left his face—she wasn’t sure she’d been expecting it to be gone but her own fear had lessened so she expected him to be doing at least a little better.

He clearly wasn’t, though, when the concern morphed into something more pained and hesitant. Daisy poked his chest, her own brows pulling together, to get him to say whatever it was that was still on his mind.

“Do you think maybe you might go back and see a psychologist?” He asked. Daisy’s breath hitched. “Because we made one mistake and didn’t use a condom, and we can and will keep using them and the chances of you getting pregnant again are really slim, right? We’ve been fucking since we were seventeen and this is the only time.”

Worried, the fear she thought had lessened creeping right back into her bones, Daisy asked, “You think I’m crazy?”

Jack chose his words carefully, slowly saying, “I think you’re afraid of something we can avoid. I also noticed that your eating is getting a bit erratic again and I’m worried that the bulimia’s going to come back.”

“I haven’t been purging,” she defended herself instantly.

“The binging, though?”

She looked away, staring at the painting on the wall behind Jack’s head for the first time since they’d put it in the room. Lying about it would be simple, something she was well versed in even though it had been years since she’d had to.

It wasn’t worth it, that much she knew.

So she admitted, still avoiding his gaze, “Little bit. I think if I’d stayed pregnant it would have been a problem. That’s part of the reason I can’t risk getting pregnant again.”

Jack, unbothered by her not lack of eye contact, pulled her closer until his arms were wrapped around her and she was burying her face in his neck. An apology was quick to leave his mouth, for not asking her when he noticed things changing, for expecting her to talk to him, for making her feel like she couldn’t.

tag list: @fallinallincurls @spine-buster @2manytabsopen @xcicix @sorryjustafangirl @senditcolton @shinyfalcon4 @laurenairay @jarmorie @diary-of-jj @its-bitchin-belle-bitches @sssstarstruck

if you’re reading this and needed a sign to participate in the summer fic exchange 2k23–this is it!

#jack hughes fic #jack hughes imagine #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #hockey fic #homemade fic #we don't have no time to waste fic #fic: devils

[txttletale]

I love reading your thoughts and writings on everything--even when I don't agree with a particular stance, your thinking is so insightful and gives me a lot to grapple with. Do you have any advice for cultivating one's own ability to think critically and deeply? And any suggestions for theory or readings that you've found helpful for this? Thank you so much! 💕

ty!! i'm glad to hear it--i do try my best to be clear about what i believe & why as much as possible so it's nice to hear that i'm succeeding (esp. because i think marxist-leninists tend to be v. v. bad at this)

honestly i only have two pieces of advice which is 1. read as much as you're comfortably able, and 2. never take any preconception you have for granted. like, for me i think this started when i started doing my undergrad and realised 'oh wow newspapers just straight up lie about shit all the time'--from that point on whenever i encounter something that challenges my notions of something i actively try to drill down 'okay, on what grounds do i think this? what basic premises do i believe that lead me to think this, and what's the logical line between them?' sometimes you will be able to answer very easily--but sometimes you will run into a question mark, a missing stair, and from there you can explore the topic more deeply and come to a different position in a v. fruitful way!

it's helpful to have someone to talk out these things with, or even just to write them down into the void. start a blog (or if you dont want strangers getting mad at your thoughts) a journal. might feel silly but i guarantee that trying to explain your positions, even if it's to nobody at all, is one of the best ways to make yourself meaningfully grapple with them.

i also recommend trying to familiarize yourself with some theoretical lenses--not that you should immediately adopt one wholesale, but you should familiarize yourself with the bases of some models of how the world works, so that you can follow different trains of logic & evaluate different explanations for positions before discarding them. this isn't vital for the project of interrogating your own positions, but it provides a structured & easier way to do it than just kind of trying to blindly fumble through your own ideas.

(& obviously make sure you don't fall into any of the like, classic failure modes of being self-critical of becoming, like, a neocatholic trying to find penance and atone for all the Secret Bigotry in your heart or so on. i have never done this or anything like this but i feel the need to say this just bc i do see people on this web site especially be prone to this kind of thing and want to be clear that like assigning a level of moral guilt to having flawed presumptions and challenging them for yourself is self-destructive & not useful to anybody)

good luck, & remember that critical thinking is a skill like any other that requires development and practice, not a moral virtue or an inherent trait of the chosen few

#ask #long post

[polyamorousmood]

How do people handle when a partner says something along the lines of...oh, what, I'm not enough? I don't feel like the notion of polyamory is about anybody not being enough. But not quite sure how to articulate that in a helpful way to reassure another person. Thoughts?

There is no in-the-moment fix to this that I've found.

That is a big concern that requires a lot of work to address. Your partner has to have an open mind, and you have a lot of explaining to do. It's a process, and you'll probably have to explain it several different ways, several different times for it to sink in.

I would caution against directly saying "you are enough" because... your partner alone won't satiate you, in one way or another. If they could, you likely wouldn't be trying/doing/asking for poly stuff (in such a mono-centric world as we live in). But I'd also be likely to bet no ONE person would satisfy you either.

Here's as good a place as any to put the very necessary read-more. There's specifics and stuff below the cut

Okay, I'm having a hard time organizing what I'm trying to get across as flowing prose so we're just doing bullet points of general advice. You know your life better than I do though so these are not hard-and-fast rules so much as consider-this-es.

🔍Find the specific worries your partner has. Without judgement work with your partner to get to the heart(s) of the issue. Are there any precise worries your partner has? When you go out to eat, your partner isn't scared their cooking isn't to your standards. So what ways are they actually worried about being "not enough for you." Sexually inadequate is a common fear, but so is the fear that they're not providing enough for you emotionally or materially, they might worry you're discontent because your hobbies don't overlap enough, or a thousand other things. There's likely general anxiety there as well, but know as much as you can about what worries your partner has.

👇Be specific with your reassurance. As discussed, saying "you are enough" is too easy to ✌️"disprove"✌️ (these are air quotes). But that's in part because its too broad. Any one thing you prefer to do with someone else can serve as "proof" the partner in question "isn't enough." So focus on what you value about your partner, what you get out of that specific relationship, what is special and un-replicatable that you enjoy. "I will always want to do [activity] with you" and "I love your way of seeing the world. When we were talking about [subject] you mentioned [interesting point]. I never would have considered that. I want to keep hearing your insight" and "I NEVER thought I'd like [whatever], but the way you love it makes me love it". You should also (if applicable, do not lie) probably assure your partner you are still committed to a long term relationship with them, including working through problems together.

🤝Help your partner build security in the relationship. Have dedicated time that's just for them Even if you're living together so everything you do is "together", make quality time. Those specific reassurances? Write them down on fancy paper and give them to your partner, so they can refer back to it when they need to. Thank your partner for coming to you with concerns, even when you're not sure what the fix is. In your daily routine you should be telling your partner things you're grateful for about them.

🧍Help your partner feel confident as an individual. The worst way to transition a relationship to polyamory is to go straight from spending every minute together to seeing other people. Perhaps counter-intuitively, you need to have separate lives, preferably before you add other people to the mix. You should spend at least a couple hours a week with friends or on hobbies away from your partner and vice versa. If you're everything to your partner, the fear of not keeping you is the fear of losing EVERYTHING, so your partner needs to see they have value outside of the relationship. And that WILL make a good relationship STRONGER, and less dependent.

⏲️Take time to work through problems.Don't let stuff fester. If you notice your partner is feeling off, say so in as many words. If they aren't ready to talk, its still helpful for them to know you notice and care about their feelings. If they do want to talk, talk. Even if you don't know how to proceed, take real time to sit together and brainstorm. If you don't reach a possible solution, establish a time to revisit it. Don't. let stuff. fester.

💭Know what you mean. "I don't feel like the notion of polyamory is about anybody not being enough" okay, what is it about? What's the draw for you? For me, whose very kitchen table, its about freedom and trust, sure, but its also very much about exploring new things and sharing that experience with my partner. I feel our love is stronger when it is not bogged down by petty mortal notions of exclusivity.

📘📗📙📕Explain your needs multiple different ways. Find several metaphors that describe how you feel. "My favorite meal cannot be my breakfast, lunch, and dinner." "It doesn't feel different to me than friends. You're my best friend but I wouldn't say no to hanging out with a work friend for my best friend's sake." "The sun is beautiful, I cannot live without it, but its also really important I get to see the stars". "I can't do monogamy. I tried really hard in the past, but it felt like cutting off a limb. I wasn't wholly myself, I could still feel phantom sensations of what wasn't. It drove me mad" Whatever you feel suits the situation. Be prepared to go into detail, be prepared to explain the shortcomings of your metaphor, and be aware of what negative associations your metaphors my have (for example, the food metaphor listed here may be misinterpreted as "so you're sick of me"). Make it personal.

🙋Its not you, its me. but like fr. DO NOT use that wording, but emphasize that your wants and feelings and needs are not caused by your partner. They are yours (and you're asking your partner to help you meet those wants/feelings/needs by allowing you some poly freedom).

📑Further reading. I talk about how to communicate effectively here. Here's a little workbook about "jealousy" but I think it also applies to in/security so it may be helpful for your partner to do independently or with you. Some explanations as to how your partner might be hurt by you having other partners. And lastly, I haven't read Polysecure (yet!) but uhhh, gonna go out on a limb here and say might be applicable (my library has a copy! so you might check yours if you don't want to purchase). And last but certainly not least, though again, nominally about jealousy, I think this article really suits your situation and offers some reframings your partner may find helpful.

As a final word of advice: hear your partner out. Your goal, ultimately is not to change your partner's mind, but to reach an understanding. You both will have to work toward understanding each other for there to be any hope of success.

#ask box is always open #jealousy #insecurity #feeling insecure #poly relationship advice #now to do some finger stretches to keep the carpal tunnel away cause oo boy that was a lot of typing

[books]

All Good things...

That's a wrap on our #Tumblr Writing Workshop with Betts! Thank you to all the writers who have joined us on this journey. We hope you've enjoyed writing your prompt fills as much as we've enjoyed reading them! For anybody who missed it or didn't have time to write these past weeks, here's a recap of all the workshop posts and prompts for you to return to at your leisure.

Intro post

Week 1: Show & Tell

Week 2: Paying Attention

Week 3: Stories of a Place

Week 4: A Narrative Imperative

Featured Writing

Thank you to @bettsfic for running this workshop! Read on below the cut for some closing words and info on how to continue this writing journey.

From @bettsfic:

If you’ve filled any of the prompts these past four weeks, I would love to know what your biggest takeaways have been. What new insights have you gained about your own writing? Have any of your perspectives or goals changed as a writer? Feel free to sit on this one for a while; I know that it takes a long time for me to reflect on the things I’ve learned. So I welcome you to send me an ask or tag me in a post at any point in the future. My favorite thing is when writers update me on their progress and growth.

In parting, I want to share my lowkey writing-related newsletter, in which I write about craft and process as well as offer a roundup of all the writing advice asks I answer on my Tumblr. I also provide updates on the Fanauthor Workshop (currently accepting applications!) and OFIC Magazine. If you’re pleased with any of your prompt fills from our workshop, you’re welcome to submit them (or any other original work) to OFIC. Submissions for Issue #8 open September 1st. 

Lastly, if you’re interested in one-on-one guidance and feedback on your writing, I’m a full-time writing coach. I help writers at all levels reach their goals, whether that’s completing a novel, querying agents, or applying to creative writing graduate programs. Here are some testimonials from current clients. 

#tumblr writing workshop with betts #writers on tumblr #writeblr #workshop masterpost #ficblr #writeblr community #writers' room #writing community

[drdemonprince]

Have you read any of Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinhas works on disability? I find her stories especially about activism initiatives and groups like sins invalid but I've been completely thrown off by their use of "femmes" as an umbrella term. I'm worried I might be missing some context on the usefulness of the term because of my white context but ur recent post in response to a question abt womxn seemed like an insightful and confident assertion of the terms limitations so I wondered if you had any advice for navigating the kind of jarring experience of seeing someone use identity language in the pursuit of justice that feels super uncomfortable in its vagueness but being worried that your own internal prejudices might be the source of that discomfort.

It all comes down to discernment I think.

Fundamentally there's a degree of self-trust you have to build in your own ability to pool information and thought from a wide variety of sources, taking what is useful, releasing what is not, reflecting upon what challenges you in a meaningful way, and then synthesizing all of that into a greater understanding of the world that is distinctly your own, without finding it threatening that others are also doing the same thing with what information that they have and will always arrive somewhere slightly different.

I don't agree with their use of femmes. I have seen other activists of similar orientations use "femmes" to highlight the fact that a lot of organizing labor falls onto women, and I get what they're trying to do with the term -- and I think it's completely misplaced and that they'd have a better way of talking about it if their work was more informed by the contributions of transexual people, especially trans women. I think the perspectives of butch people and trans mascs are also largely absent from that analysis, particularly Black trans men.

But I don't expect anyone that I'm reading to be a perfect reflection of my own beliefs and my politics. I am the reflection of what I know and believe, I don't need anybody else to be that, and thus somebody having a slightly differing view or base of knowledge from me is not an existential threat.

Whenever I notice that someone does use different language from my own, I pay close attention to what they are meaningfully saying, and I ask myself whether their use of language reflects a set of biases that skews their overall worldview.

In many authors who use language like "women and femmes," I do very much see an exclusion of butch women, nonbinary people, trans men, and trans women, and a lack of awareness of how being perceived as masculine effects Black trans people. But this is revealed to me by their broader attitudes, the way they summarize and explain social problems, the examples they choose to give, and the overall deeper content of what they are saying -- not their choice of a single term or another. I take a person with a grain of salt if they use that term -- but I still take them.

On the whole there's a lot to be valued within that authors' work. And they also have areas where I think they are less prepared to be a reliable source of expertise. And the same can certainly be said for me. In general I think we need to stop searching for catchall gender terms -- especially those of us who are transmisogyny exempt and/or non Black and distinctly positioned to not really "get" the ways that we're failing at it, and that includes both Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinhas and me.

[lunarifie]

The King and His Jester

Royalty AU part 1 / part 2

Story summary undercut

Kai The Jester -

- Kai is a runaway refugee finding solace in Adams kingdom. The kingdom he ran away from is similar to a third world country. The King and Queen don’t care for their subjects, all they care for is gaining power and winning wars.

- Kai’s King and Queen don’t take kindly to their citizens running away. They make deals with neighboring kingdoms to capture and return their refugees, in return for peace (not waging war) and trade.

- It is quite common for refugees to simply lie about where they come from, which is what Kai does.

- While in Adams kingdom, one of his favorite pass times is singing and playing the lute at pubs and on the streets, telling stories to whoever would listen. He is discovered this way and brought to the King as a potential Jester. (An idea recommended by either Reeve or Mira in Adams royal court, stating he should be able to have a laugh once and a while.)

- Kai immediately takes the position, enjoying his ability to entertain. (And perhaps receiving more protection against his previous kingdom in the confines of the palace walls.)

Adam The King -

- Adam took the title of King at an early age, shouldering a huge responsibility and forced to mature quickly.

- He was crowned King when both of his parents died leading their soldiers into battle. From then on, he swore to never fight in any war, making a deal with the King and Queen of his neighboring kingdom to return their refugees for peace.

- At first, he denies Mira and Reeve’s advice on the matter of a Jester. There are much more pressing matters to attend to, like leading a monarchy. He cannot waste his time entertaining frivolous concepts.

- Without his knowledge, a Jester is found. Adam is ready to deny the proposition, that is, until the Jester interrupts and is able to force a shocked laugh out of him.

- He is still a bit hesitant over the idea but agrees, adding the Jester to his royal court, as well as giving him a chamber in the palace in return for his entertainment.

- Adam realizes, that even though they’re both tense at first, they grow fond of each other over time. Adam finds it refreshing to have someone who can banter and state their opinions without fear of being reprimanded.

- At some point, Kai is practically an advisor to Adam. Adam asks what his Jester thinks of issues presented to him, and Kai will usually follow it up with advice hidden beneath a jest.

- Kai tries to use his position as a way to persuade Adam to stop sending refugees back to the other kingdom. But this issue seems to be the only one Adam won’t budge on, frustrating Kai immensely.

Jester Fun Facts! -

- “Only as the lowliest member of the court, can the jester be the monarch’s most useful adviser.”

- Something I love, is how the Jester had a special privilege. They had the ability to mock and joke freely without punishment. Jesters actually had symbols to represent this privilege, their hat representing a crown and their (marotte) mirroring a royal scepter.

- Thanks to this privilege, the Jester would be the one to give bad news to the King, news that no one else dared to give.

- In literature, the Jester is symbolic of common sense and honesty. In King Lear, the court Jester character is used for insight and advice on the monarch. A regular man would be detained for these ‘accusations.’

- Jesters were occasionally used as psychological warfare! Jesters would ride in front of their troops and provoke or mock the enemy. Imagine riding into battle the the first thing you hear is a Jester roasting you to your grave. They were also there to raise their armies spirits, singing songs and reciting stories.

- Jesters could be anybody. A university drop out, a denounced monk, the apprentice of a blacksmith, a poet, a musician, a scholar. They were often recruited by noblemen, and most were picked with dwarfism or ugly features.

#The Hollow Royalty AU #oops #my hand slipped #dont you love when your art style just jerks in a whole nother direction #Redraw of a year old drawing but I hate it so im not linking it #pls click for better quality #the hollow #the hollow netflix #the hollow cartoon #the hollow kai #th kai #the hollow adam #th adam #Kaidam #if you couldnt tell #the hollow season 2 #the hollow kaidam #the hollow reeve #the hollow mira #the hollow fanart

[desi-lgbt-fest]

Hi, so I've recently realised that I'm neither straight nor cis. And this has been making me overthink myself a lot because I keep thinking that if I feel like I'm neither straight nor cis am I really queer, or am I just some straight girl lying to myself to feel special? And these thoughts keep making me dysphoric. Do you have any advice on how to deal with this?

Straight up? This is the origin story of every gay person ever lmao. I remember having these Very Intense™️ feelings about girls as a teenager and then being like wow lmao that was a crazy glitch in my system. I'm gonna think about this random generic guy I made up really hard to cancel out whatever that was.

But honestly, Anon, most likely it's your brain and body fighting against what you've been socialized to learn and grow up with your whole life. You're still valid and you're not doing this for attention (no one in their right mind would ever deal with all of this for attention, and if they think they do, they end up being gay anyway). Maybe you don't have a name or label for all these feelings and thoughts right now, and that is PERFECTLY fine and normal. You are good and this is great progress. Sometimes it's good to overthink it a bit because at least you're paying attention to yourself and all these big emotions.

If it's too hard to sit with sometimes, then I recommend writing/drawing/or talking it out. Use your notes app or record yourself speaking so you can read/hear your thoughts and have them out there so you don't stew over them by yourself. Follow that up with affirmations and self-reflection. We are our harshest critics and it's helping no one if all we do is be mean to ourselves. If you feel like it, then share your insights in a safe space!!

By the way, this is helpful for anybody wanting to start self-reflection and journaling. It's actually proven through research that any kind of introspective work yields the same results as meditation and therapy!!

#mod navi #anon asks

[robcognitivepersonality]

The Mastermind & the Architect

How I get along with INTPs as an INTJ

I love INTPs, you guys are my type of friends to hang out with. Honestly I don’t see that awkward anti-social stereotype that looms over being an INTP. Hanging out with you, there’s no peer pressure to speak of, no Chad’s to deal with, no sense to impress anybody. We chat over beers, get high, play video games, share insights about life and people. Type descriptions have painted you as these emotionless sentient robots, totally missing the mark that you are also socially very intelligent. Perhaps the most socially intelligent of all the types. Oftentimes you deliver the most insightful life advice. Your awareness of public sentiments is completely slept on.

I guess it’s just my own anecdote, but the INTPs I know somehow manage to always be in the know. Like Varys in Game of Thrones, you have a 6th sense of little birds spread out everywhere informing you things. Be honest, am I correct that you possess the juiciest gossip details? No worries, I’m not here to know them if it’s not my business. But damn those juicy details can be so accurate though.

The word ‘socializing’ by the mainstream definition may not necessarily apply to you. But you definitely are out there exploring whatever tickles your curiosity. Shit I’m convinced you’re everywhere, physically and virtually. Even if you’re one of the minority that literally hides in Mom’s basement, you’re all over on the Interwebs. I see you in all kinds of subreddits, discord servers, subculture forums, MMORPG worlds, etc. It puts my lurking game to shame. And you know everything. And in some circles, you’re very popular.

You range from vibing and lurking to leading group conversations where everyone quiets down to listen to you. “STFU @everyone, our INTP lord is talking.” It’s a reputation rightly earned! You are the trusted beacon of truth and sentinel of knowledge. Whatever you say will be considered highly advisable. I’d be so busy taking notes and learning, or sometimes I have no idea what’s going on looking like a clown. I’m the socially awkward penguin here.

That leads me to another point: ‘leadership’ by the mainstream definition may not necessarily apply to you either. Yes we know it’s not your charming charisma that we’re gravitated to. It’s your talent for solving problems and discovering insightful information that enable you to command the most value and respect amongst your peers. The most conscientious of you implement so many new processes, enforcing standards, and become our role models. You advise us to make better decisions, give us confirmation checks and confidence boosters, and build us processes and systems that will enrich all of our lives.

"Reality is far too diverse, broad, elusive, ambiguous and complex for us to pin down. Even the limited empirical data we do manage to collect can only be interpreted within the framework of a subjective paradigm. It is, therefore, not really neutral. But in our desperate search for closure and reassurance we confabulate entities and explanations to construct huge edifices of assumed truths. They make up the world we actually experience; a self-woven cocoon of stories, not facts.” — Bernardo Kastrup

That’s all thanks to your Extraverted Feeling and Extraverted Intuition. It’s a stack that makes you altruistic, unpretentious, and unassuming. You help without ulterior motive, except for figuring what things could be improved. If there’s anything egotistical about you, it’s to be understood that your intentions are for the best of the tribe. You playfully and intensely explore deep in the tangled webs of any system, whether we’re talking about society, a software application, or the constructs of reality, searching for how it’s all pieced together while wearing the face of a mild-mannered pleasant person. You sync with the social atmosphere without trying to disrupt it. Like why kill the vibe for no reason right? The music is fine, don’t mess with the playlist.

The contrast with my Introverted Intuition and Introverted Feeling is that, instead of having this kind of symbiotic relationship with the community vibe, I am trying to figure out how to fit my ego into the mix. That doesn’t mean I’m doomed to disrupt everything in my path and that people need to bend themselves for me. On the contrary, I’m constantly reformulating my self-concept so that I can fit like a jigsaw puzzle piece. I daydream about what puzzle I’d like to belong to. I imagine where I’d like to be whether I need to come to emotional terms with myself or change the world around me. So, unlike you, I don’t have the itch to understand how everything is made. I just need to know the relevant things in order to fit in.

Who I am and how I feel is all in my own imaginary world; and it’s the most real thing to me. Everyday I remind myself that the idea of Me is nothing but a fleeting fantasy. There’s always a difference between that and what’s actually real. My existence would be nothing but hopes and dreams if I have nothing to show for it. NiFi in itself is a function pair of existential delusion. That’s why I can be so anal about empirical truth, and put so much value on evidence. I hang on to my SeTe objective concrete perceptions very tightly, as my life literally depends on it. And I make sure I’m correct. The way I see myself would be wrong and not real if it was based on false information.

While both our Thinking-Sensing functions want to get to the bottom of the truth, I love how you don’t care about being right or wrong. You don’t feel attacked about being proven incorrect. You don’t care about being smart. You don’t judge yourself when somebody questions your logic. All of your energy is spent on proving theories, since none was deemed necessary on proving yourself. This is where your intensity lives. Spending all of your energy digging deep down to get to the bottom of understanding whatever you’re focused on. After all, truth only stands after being excavated, scrutinized, and ruthlessly tested.

The funny thing is that truth is elusive. The world as we see it is a playground that is too vast, complicated, and ever evolving to truly be conclusive about it. There are so many ways and angles to look at something, all of them could be correct. Hence the knowledge vault that is your mind is always cracked open. I’d like to think it’s a never ending adventure, like building elaborate sand castles on an infinity beach. But you tend to admit getting lost in these thoughts can make you go crazy. Everything can be explained, we just don’t know how yet. Introverted Thinking and Introverted Sensing gets down to the nitty gritty and figures it out.

“The general population doesn’t know what’s happening, and it doesn’t even know that it doesn’t know… The world is a very puzzling place. If you’re not willing to be puzzled, you just become a replica of someone else’s mind.” — Noam Chomsky

That means you are a Sensor. Yep. With all the shit-talking about Intuitives being smarter, it just happens that the type regarded as the smartest is a Sensor. That whole thing is bullshit anyway. Intuitives generate ideas on top of ideas diverging away from the concrete. On the other hand, your Extraverted Intuition observes the complex and abstract universe so you can render it in with more detail and reduce ambiguity. Life’s troubleshooter doesn’t generate speculations, you search for them. You spend your time trying to make sense of it all. No stone is left unturned. Your knowledge vault is full of concrete minute details of what you understand about stuff. And you can be a real stickler about those details.

My SeTe seeks to consume those TiSi details. Especially if it’s about something I value, I want to hear everything that starts with “Well, yes no maybe. The devil is in the details.” When pursuing my goals, I like to research and make solid logical reasoning to ensure I know what I’m getting into. INTPs have been the indispensable sources of guidance for someone like me who’s driven to stay informed. People say it’s good to be well researched. But where do all the sources come from, you know what I mean? Abe Lincoln once said “behind every great INTJ is a great INTP,” right? You guys have saved my ass, humbled me, and made me happier along the way. There’s seriously not enough credit given for the good and value you have contributed for me and society at large.

When I look into myself, I see that being wrong feels like downing a glass of whiskey. It burns and I’ll just have to tough it up. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? To stand corrected is character building. I’ve built up my tolerance, but it used to be so painful. It wasn’t an experience I’d like to go through often. To not be wrong and be hurt again, I dive down the information rabbit holes studying to gain back my confidence. What actually happens was that I’ve been burying myself hiding under the mounds of data I gathered. I didn’t want to be exposed and thought as stupid. I didn’t want to be seen as a fraud. I didn’t want to find out my existence has no real value. I didn’t realize I became someone who was very insecure about who he was.

And here you are as I’m watching you gracefully prancing around without that kind of fear holding you back, waltzing on the line between the realm of what you know and the much bigger one of what you don’t know. I’ve heard you say “no idea” many more times than I’ve ever said it. I’ve seen you routinely make brainfart mistakes. I’ve caught you being wrong on so many counts. Yet you still stand as the one many of us count on to solve problems. That takes a lot of courage to do what you do. It’s mesmerizing. Needless to say, I really look up to you.

"We are in the seat of the US government, a government that was founded by people who were, at one point, ruled by kings they couldn't overthrow. So, what did they do, right? They started over. They came here, to the New World. And the way we win is by creating a new, democratic, decentralized Internet... One where it is the users, not the kings, who have sovereign control over their data. This, I promise to you: I will help you end this tyranny by building an Internet that is of the people, by the people, and for the people, so help me God." —Richard Hendricks, from Silicon Valley

Modeling you I realized it wasn’t even about accumulating knowledge, but about humbling myself and embracing my vulnerability. Exposing myself will push me over the hill of Mount Stupid down to the Valley of Despair; a place you’re very familiar with. That’s the first step to enlightenment — I know… It’s silly to make this an epic journey. For I can only imagine that tumbling back down to the bottom of the Dunning-Kruger effect is just a normal Tuesday for you. While we can question the popular misconceptions of that curve, there’s still reason that you tend to sell yourself short.

And there, I see that you can feel just as unsure and as unconfident as I am, perhaps even more! That comes with such a relief for me. I admit that I’ve felt intimidated by you. Yes as crazy as that sounds, I’m scared to push back when you’re sure about something. I just assume you’re more right. But the more I understand you, the more I see you enjoy stepping in and help out. Whether it’s answering a noob question or one even you don’t have an answer for, it’s as if it was an invitation to get to know each other.

Who cares who’s got the bigger brains. The point has always been about building an amiable relationship by meeting together intellectually. You’ve shown me to not take intelligence so seriously, that there’s no such thing as a dumb question, that it’s OK to say “I don’t know.” I learned to loosen up about being logical. And ironically that made me see the truth: I am an emotional person who had been suppressing his feelings over logic. And I projected this suppression onto others. I shunned people who weren’t bearing the same brunt that I’ve endured to keep my emotions down. I wrongfully believed emotions were weaknesses. I’ve looked down on “stupid” people because I was trying so hard not to be one.

Knowledge doesn’t define us. It’s simply a means for what we want. While I used it to isolate myself, you use it to connect. Information is to food as logic is to cooking, you’re the master chef offering your talents for people to get together and enjoy. I’m the pretentious Yelper giving you 5 stars and a Like. And I gotta be honest — I feel I’ve gotten unfairly way more out of you than you have out of me. You’ve never asked for credit, but I’ll always feel indebted to you. It’s not enough for me to acknowledge what you do. I guess you could trade your thoughts for my opinions.

Like me, you’d rather be left alone observing the world. Like me, you’re fascinated by how it’s all put together. Like me, you wonder where you fit in the vast elaborate structures of it. Well it’s not much… But you have a special place inside my imaginary world. This world that I die trying to make into reality by acting and proving myself who I think I really am. I am your friend. I am someone who deeply appreciates who you are. Someone who wants to be like you. Someone who knows he wouldn’t be where he is without you.

“To be born means being compelled to choose an era, a place, a life. To exist here, now, means to lost the possibility of being countless other potential selves.. Yet once being born there is no turning back. And I think that’s exactly why the fantasy worlds of cartoon movies so strongly represent our hopes and yearnings. They illustrate a world of lost possibilities for us.” — Hayao Miyazaki

I hate to say that this is all I got to give back. But I’ll definitely act on it. After all, feelings are like theories. They’re not real unless we materialize them out. You know that. Your feelings have always stood by your logic, wherever they came from. Many times they’re the reasons why you get deep in your head, why you’re willing to get out of your comfort zone, or why you get these bursts of flow state solving problems. You care for the good of your community. There really is a rose tinted bias in you. It really is the thought that counts. You recognize and solve the questions we should be asking ourselves to live in a better world.

In these moments you become the most genuine and sincere out of all the types. Unriddling the mysteries of the universe and discovering how we’re all connected speaks for who you really are: a human being who’s trying their best with what they know and understand about being kind with one another. Because of that, I’m inspired to be who I really am and to live as genuinely and sincerely as I can. To not hide under the truth but to stand proudly on top of it. I’ll live out my self belief as someone who will leave this world a little better than he found it. Thanks to you, we can make this true. Together as data points serving for something bigger than ourselves.

#mbti intj #intj thoughts #intj #intp stuff #intp #myers briggs #mbti #jungian #16 personality types #16 types #carl jung #cognitive functions

[luveline]

𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐣𝐚𝐝𝐞 —this one might be silly but I'm always asking you guys for advice so I thought it might be fun to offer the same, ask me a question about love or life or something much less dramatic and I'll tell you what I think

hey baby i need some advice however i am in fear of sounding silly. okay so i get into these obsessions, right? whether it's a tv show, music or an artist, a movie, book, or character, i am constantly raving about it. at first it was just fun and normal but now it's evolved into something else and it becomes pretty toxic. like, for example right now (and yes i am aware of how stupid i sound) it's spencer reid. and i kid you not i have screamed into my pillow and sobbed to my mother about how much i love him. he's FAKE. HES NOT REAL. so how do i get these huge feelings over people who don't even exist?? it's hard to put into words because it feels bigger than i can say, but it's becoming a problem. i have friends who are so outgoing and carefree, and they could just walk up to somebody and tell them they are interested in them. but the thought of that makes me want to bawl. and it's not even like i would have people to like anyway! i would never in a million years be interested in anybody remotely close to me. and why does it have to be me that reaches out? i want this SO bad but i think i'm just too insecure that there is no one out there that would treat me the way i want to be treated. i don't think i'm ugly, but i also don't think i'm gorgeous either. i have my moments of feeling really confident but those are brief and only ever when i'm wearing makeup. i'm just feeling like one colossal mess and i don't know how to fix it. is this normal? cause it doesn't feel normal. im a teenager but it feels like this will last forever. that was a lot im sorry, you don't have to respond i just really needed to vent 😭 however if you do read this i will take whatever you give me. i have lots of respect for you and i'll love whatever you have to say. xo 🩷

I don't relate so heavily to your interests becoming toxic to you, I don't mean to insist or assume medical diagnoses on you, so if I'm out of bounds I apologise deeply, but there's something called 'hyperfixating' that could give you some comfort or some insight into why you may be feeling this way if you wanted to have a look!

As for the rest I totally know how you feel, I think many young women can relate to feeling extremely insecure — I think it is very common (but that's not to say fair) to feel as you're feeling, like a big mess! I understand that it doesn't feel normal because it is your life and every feeling becomes all encompassing, the mess feels out of control, and you feel maybe a little alien in society and even your own body, but if you're worried that this isn't something other people are feeling I can confidently tell you that lots of people feel this way. but I'm so sorry because that's not going to make any of it better. I'm only two years (nearly three) older than you and I can tell you that this feeling has gotten better and less rampant for me as I've gotten older, I wouldn't say I was more confident but just having more control, more autonomy, and more perspective has helped me feel less like I'm going to explode into nothing constantly. Plus, there are resources to be used if you can manage it that can help you feel better, because while it is common for you to feel as you do it isn't normal per say, like. I feel like most people I know can tell you they've felt that way, but there's a huge majority of people who don't. If you're feeling like you have low self esteem, like you're never going to be loved, this isn't a totally hopeless thing in my opinion, and there are things you can do and help you can seek to help you cope with these feelings before they metastasize. You're perfectly loveable as you are, but it's okay to worry about the future so long as you dodon't start thinking it's hopeless —starkly, if you start to worry or feel that way, it could be that you're becoming depressed, which is again normal but not something you need to do alone.

I'm sorry if I sound like a freak but i wanted to give you advice that was both personal and helpful. My biggest point is that you're not alone in feeling how you feel and that you don't deserve to feel that way, because you're someone who deserves to feel confident and loved and to have a healthy relationship with love, and so that's why I'd encourage you to seek some help or just some comfort if you need it. I really hope you feel okay and you feel better soon!

#jade's asks #ily

[megsmulti]

Chenford + you should break up with him

Thank you for the prompt anon!! This takes place after 4x17.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tim and Lucy were walking and talking in the hallway after parking the shop back in the garage of the district. It's been a couple of days since Chris sang the song that haunted Lucy forever at the DA's office. Tim wanted to know how that went since he wasn't there and he missed her, even though he wasn't going to admit that out loud, especially to Lucy.

"I was standing there with Tamara and the intern when out of nowhere, Chris just starts singing that stupid song and-" Lucy relayed as she was stating to Tim the exact details of the events that occurred.

Tim furrowed his eyebrows. "Wait. What stupid song?"

"That song I sang in the barrel on the day I got kidnapped." He widened his eyes. "Dream a Little Dream."

"What?" Tim asked, stopping their stroll momentarily. He could not believe what he was hearing. The DOD, as it was dubbed, traumatized Lucy, and when people exploit that in any kind of way, it pisses him off.

"Yeah. He claimed that he had it stuck in his head."

There was a brief bout of silence before Tim resumed the conversation. "Can I give you a piece of advice?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure," Lucy replied. Even though she didn't need it, she will always listen to Tim. Sometimes, he had very insightful words that not even she thought of.

"You should break up with him." Lucy raised her eyebrows. Who does he think he is? she thought as she was still processing what he said.

"Excuse me?" Lucy fired back. "Since when do you tell me who I can and can't date?"

"Since he traumatized you even more by singing that god damn song!" Tim exclaimed, matching Lucy's tone. "He knew that that day was terrible for you, yet he still did it anyway!"

"You may be right, but it could've been a mistake." Lucy tiled her anger down a little bit. "He saw the footage too!"

"Maybe so, but you and I both know that he also might've had an ulterior motive."

Lucy crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you have it out for Chris or something? You barely know him."

"No, I don't have it out for him." He may be jealous of him because he's dating Lucy, but he doesn't wish death upon the guy unless Chris takes things further, then Tim makes no promises. "I care about you, Lucy, more than you could ever know, and I hate it when people take advantage of that day or of you in general."

Tim wasn't usually one to bare his soul to anybody, but Lucy was the only exception. Well, maybe Angela in certain instances too. Point is that he doesn't do it often and when he does, he's saying everything with his entire chest.

"You do?" Lucy was dumbstruck by Tim's revelation. The feeling was mutual for her too, but hearing him say that for the first time melted her heart.

"Yeah. I thought you would've known that by now," Tim said, stating the obvious.

"Well, thank you for the advice. While what Chris did was wrong, I may not actually love him like I thought I did." Lucy spouted a truth of her own and if Tim was being honest, he wasn't surprised by that statement in the slightest.

"Really?"

"Yeah. He's kind of boring. I don't like that in a relationship."

Tim chuckled, which prompted Lucy to follow suit. Their radios interrupted them before either one of them had a chance to speak and that led to a collective groan.

Lucy was scared to tell Tim about her day at the DA's office at first because she knew damn well that he would march on in there and beat the living daylights out of Chris, even though he may have deserved it at the time. But, admitting that her feelings for her boyfriend have started diminishing to someone she really cares about felt good and she knew that Tim wouldn't judge her on anything she has to say whether he agrees with it or not.

#this was a lot of fun to write #the rookie #chenford #tim and lucy #chenford fic #megan's fics

[funkymbtifiction]

Could you give me your opinion on my type, please? I've been learning about the enneagram for a while now, but I don't know my type yet. I have thought about getting a paid typing service, but I don't know. I am in my mid-to-late 20s, fi-dom (INFP) and likely a withdrawn type...

This is hard. I don't sense the elitism of 4, I don't think 5 is likely either, but you are certainly withdrawn, which leaves 9 by default. I see sp-dom, possibly sp/sx ("I hate casual conversations, and won't talk to just anybody"), which would mean as a 9, you DON'T MERGE. You need social within 9 and/or to be a Fe type to 'merge' and lose yourself -- a social blind 9 would struggle with inertia, and the frustration of not doing anything about what they hate about their life (they are 'doing' repressed) but feel a strong sense of independence and autonomy (sp 9s are already the most independent and 'toughest' of the 9s). So I would seriously deep dive into 9 and learn what it's all about / read everything produced by 9s, especially insights by David Grey since he is also social blind.

These points seem particularly 9ish:

I don't get blend with other people easily, neither do people influence me with their thoughts. There a certain refuse to instantly accept other people advice or opinions. This could be just fi. I believe I have a firm sense of myself. <- barrier focus, separation of me/them. Social blindness + Fi-dom?

My main negative emotion, sort of speak, is frustration. I don't believe I experience much anxiety or anger (tantrums, and that). <- many 9s aren't aware of being angry like... ever.

I actually I hate conflict or people lashing out, not much for what it is been said, but for the emotion that is reaching me and leaving me in physical pain. <- being physically affected by conflict is 9. 9s are being buffeted by the energy of other people/the world, which is why they want to throw up boundaries, create separation, and avoid conflict -- so they can be "at peace" inside themselves.

I struggle with inaction. I know what I want to do, but I don't have much drive to do it. And I make myself even more frustrated and sighing because my life is not what I want it to be, but that's because I don't do much. <- longing for change and doing nothing is 9, because doing something would take you out of your comfort zone. It might even be HARD, that would be disruptive to inner peace. Refusing to "do anything" about your frustrations is the "inner sloth" that the Enneagram talks about, as pertaining to 9s -- frustrated inactivity and/or being unhappy but not exerting any effort to change your circumstances.

#question #enneagram #enneagram 9

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

I know this is... a really nuanced thing, and it depends a lot on circumstance, but I was wondering if you have any advice for determining if I'm more aro than I thought or just traumatized? (Not to say that anybody else is confused, I speak only for myself.) I've had three relationships end in disaster but also I tended to date people with certain traits I wished I had, and when I think about it nowadays, I see myself living my happiest life by myself. Are there any thought exercises or topics to soul-search about? I know I need to put in the work to figure it out myself, I just don't know where to start. Thank you, and have a good day/night!

If you've been through something traumatic, if you're comfortable doing this, it can help sometimes to look into effects that type of trauma can have on people. I definitely recommend in depth sources not just general overviews. (If you're not comfortable doing this, it's OK to skip it.)

The other thing I'd recommend is looking up aro experiences, so finding aro people talking about being aro basically. And often when questioning, that ends up being one of the most helpful things you can do. (If you don't know where to look, Arocalypse is a great resource, so is Carnival of Aros, which is a monthly aro blogging event, but anywhere aros are talking about being aro is good.)

Otherwise it is just introspection and piecing together what feelings you're feeling. One big piece of advice I'd give though is to try not to look for an objective answer, identity is really complex and sometimes figuring out if you're aro or not also comes down to how you personally interpret your feelings or experiences. And I would say if at the end of all of this you feel like identifying as aro would be useful, then that's all you need. And this even true if it turns out trauma is the reason you feel that way (if you can figure that out, you can't always). And that works the other way too, it's also OK to decide it's not a label you need. But those are the things I'd focus on.

If you have someone you can talk to about this, sometimes that can help, even if all they do is listen, putting your thoughts out can help bring clarity. Journaling can help too, especially if you go back and read old entries, sometimes that can bring a bit of clarity or insight.

And the biggest thing is just time, a lot of time people just need to process and think about these things. Sometimes things are also clearer in retrospect than they are in the moment. So don't feel like there's a deadline, questioning takes however long it takes.

All the best, Anon! And if you have more questions or want to know more about anything, feel free to send in another ask.

#trauma cw

[lorei-writes]

hi! <3 can i ask for advice on how to make friends on ikepri?? Any other ikemen game its quite easy but with ikepri i dont understand it very well, its not like your usual way to add friends, greet, get your daily 1000 free coins in game :(

Hello!

Yeah, it's a completely different system. I don't know how to optimise it, but I also don't care particularly much about that. But... Maybe I can offer you some basics to work from?

First of all, it's not as much friends as in Sen or Vamp, but followers. You can follow up to 50 people, and up to 100 people can follow you.

You don't receive gold for greeting others, but for liking avatars, and for having your avatar liked.

Now, here are two things to consider:

How to like the avatars of others?

How to get your avatar to be liked?

Re. 1:

One way is to go to "Find Friends" page, manually click on each person's avatar, and to then click that heart near the bottom left corner. However, that gives you only 20 gold and it takes a lot of time to do that all.

The other way is to go to the homescreen, and click on "Avatar", just above the "Story" button. Then go into "Liked List". From there you can access three screens -- Likes Received, Likes Given, and Mutual Followers. If you look at the bottom right corner, there's a "Like All" button there. Essentially, you can send likes back from there en masse. (Or well, send likes to all of your mutual followers).

Re. 2:

Well, that's the inverse of the 1., I suppose?

The first answer that comes to mind is that you want to be mutuals with 50 other active players, so that you can consistently like each other's avatars.

How to achieve that?

That, my friend, is something I don't necessarily know too well. I don't have 50 active mutual followers. However, I do have a couple suggestions that may be worth considering?

>> Look into the people who follow you and follow them back. >> If you're a part of otome discord servers, share your friend code there. >> Post your friend code on Tumblr and tag me in the post, so that I can boost it. I don't mind helping a little bit, but I'm not sure how effective that may be.

Now, there's one more thing I think you may want to consider. As far as I know, during collection events, you can get some of the collectible items (hearts, or whatever it is) for liking at least 30 people. You can obtain the collectible items like this once per day. So you probably want to be able to consistently, and preferably conveniently, like at least 30 people daily.

With that all in mind... I may be factually incorrect on some of those points, and otherwise not too helpful in the end. So if anybody has any insight, please, feel free to drop it in reblogs or tags, I'd really appreciate it.

#answered #Anonymous #i'm overall not too worried though because I have ~80k free currency. i'm f2p and currently am going through my third route #it's probably not much in the grand scheme of things but you know it's something #ikepri #ikemen prince #ikemen series

[tiredassmage]

Glass case of emotions, but also Tyr under the microscope again, I still have no answers. Only many thoughts. Maybe some vague insight extrapolated from... whatever the fuck is going on in this. No promises though.

Hottest rotating record at the moment is... the unintentional(?) mirror Tyr’s developed. The emotional damage uncovered in this answer (last question in particular) hasn’t weakened in persistence and I’m suffering from the realization that it’s... how Tyr’s relationship with both the Minister and Ardun Kothe ultimately plays out.

They’re father figures. They’re his mentors. He respects them. They made mistakes. They speak in veils and out of the corners of their mouths and only in private about the depth of the relationship. Explicitly, that bond doesn’t get stated. While they did what they could, maybe it didn’t save him. They ran as much damage control as they could.

Tyr has never been able to explicitly trust someone. Even in family, there was always a purpose to interactions. Can I really be surprised then that, even with someone he loves, he would think “duplicity in the name of the greater good” is viable? Is it really any or such a surprise that he’s willing to remold himself for a cause, to make ends meet, even if it scares him that he has no good answer for who he is, what he values at the core?

It’d maybe almost scare him that he’s willing to mutate and mutilate what those values are for the sake of another, so that they don’t have to. He’s not a perfect ideal, but what he keeps fighting for.. Ideals. Ideas. Are people really grounding points if he’s willing to risk himself for the goal? So uncompromising, yet so, so malleable.

They’re, of course, not the only contributing factors, but I’m a little not okay about it all, lmao.

But the care that’s still there!!!! Acknowledging their missteps. The indirect recognition of their similarities. Idk where I’m going anymore, like three directions at once, probably.

Possibly the one glaring difference between Tyr and the two men he considers mentors and father figures is that he chose Intelligence. The Minister describes it as an initial “distraction” to his military career. Ardun was a Jedi mentions the change, that maybe whoever he was as a Jedi isn’t compatible with who we meet as the SIS operative. Tyr, however, was offered a place among Imperial Intelligence’s ranks and didn’t hesitate.

As Keeper, the old man muses that he’s perhaps idealistic. He believes in serving the Empire, though Keeper’s worries about not being wholly prepared for the bleaker reality of that task are semi-misplaced just as much as they are ultimately wholly accurate. Tyr isn’t as blindly rose-tinted about it as he could be, but what he goes through is still more than enough. (Something something prepared for it to not be a beautiful oil painting, still incapable of ever being prepared for just how deep the rabbit hole went and, really, could you expect anybody to be that prepared without a heapload of prior digging?)

Anyway, what he did believe - what proves to be so idealistic is genuinely working for that checks and balances. That the purpose of having something like Intelligence at all was to defend the Empire and its people. It’s shredded, like so many other similar efforts, by the infighting and the power plays. Absolute destruction within their own borders does naught to stay devastation, so why would it be any different against their enemies?

It crops up again in one of those last conversations - goals instead of ideals.

How to heart did he take that advice? Lokin and Tyr never grow particularly close, but there’s almost never been a finer assessment than how he walks a thin line - Lokin says between “ingenuity and obedience,” I believe. Some mutation of ideals and goals seem to be the basis of Tyr’s bottom lines - what very few it seems he’s capable of holding to.

The standards for him, for Cipher Nine, have always been shifting, changing, mutable, amorphous - the inescapable nature for being a librarian and keeper of secrets for a career, so he continues to inflict such upon himself.

On one hand, maybe it’s one of the only supporting beams that keeps something as ludicrous as challenging the would-be immortal once-Emperor of the Sith within this realm of “why the cursed hell not as if we weren’t already all insane enough” instead of sending him running or cowering like maybe anyone with an ounce of good sense would. What’s a wayward rogue operative with a blaster against one of the most powerful Force users that ever lived?

Tired of your damn shit apparently is what he is.

He can’t think too hard about his problems and I can’t think too hard about his problems. He’d probably have a breakdown if he did and I’m left here making concerned scientist faces at the complex jigsaw puzzle I just found under the rug and maybe he does have the right idea, what if we left that there kaldnflkadfnla;dsfnldsf

#literally lost the plot of my thoughts about halfway through this so??? #idk it makes sense in my HEAD #but also it doesn't bc this bastard can't make sense of himself so good fuckin luck to the rest of us kadnfladnsf #ch: tyr #how do i even tag this microscope experiment #just. thinking about how he continues to keep messing with fire and poking him about why

[dreamyaqua]

hello this is quite long but i'm concerned about my safety, i'd appreciate it if you could give me insight about what i can do and any indications if i were to send my birth data.

as far as i know my scorpio rising & saturn in the 9th house is at play here.. came to visit some relatives and yesterday morning i decided to take a walk at the beach. this man stopped me and started a conversation with me even though i tried walking away. normally i would ignore him but sometimes you gotta not be rude and just smile and nod until they leave you since you don't know what they're capable of & you're pretty much cornered. he said he was working close by. i told him i was 16 but he still proceeded to call me beautiful 20 time. he asked if i smoked and asked if i wanted a cigarette. i said no to both. asked for my number. i didn't give it to him. he insisted for a couple minutes. eventually i got up and lit a cigarette a bit further away. then i literally saw him staring at me from a distance. i immediately got up and continued smoking somewhere else, when i was finished i saw him coming to my direction. mind you there's no other place to walk in the area. later that day i saw the man again but just walked away fast. when i came home out of the blue my aunt asked if i had anybody bothering me and told me a story about the time she got stalked at a park. today as i was leaving my other aunt told me to be careful about the people working by the beach. as if the universe tried warning me twice. and yet again i saw the man a while ago but am much further away now as i'm typing this.

tldr: i got me a creep and need to know if there's any indications in my chart through transits etc. and possibly if anything i can do.

Hi there! First of all I want to say I'm really sorry to hear you've had to go through these scary experiences with this creep! 😣

Although I do think there's certain placements to look at when it comes to situations like these, I don't think there's much astrology can do about this... honestly, I'd advise you to tell someone you trust about this creepy man. May it be your aunts, or someone else in your family who can help you and keep you safe. If you believe you are in danger, you may want to call local authorities/the police and see whether you can get help there - even better if you can do this together with a family member who can help you with this. I'm definitely not against looking towards astrology in situations like this but if you really are in danger, astrology won't be of much help. So, I hope there's someone you can go to, I really wouldn't keep this information to myself. And maybe you could get something like a pepper spray to carry around with, just in case? It's always better to at least have something you could use to protect yourself with and escape. Please, please, stay safe and hopefully this creep will finally leave you alone!! 😣🙏🏻

//

I'll still list the things I know/have found out here, though. But I also have to say that I don't think my knowledge of the matter goes deep enough yet for something serious like this and I honestly don't know whether there's something from an astrological perspective that you could do... the best thing might be to just be aware of these energies and stay vigilant and safe. (But if there's any astrologer stumbling over this post and has some advice, please feel free to add on!!)

I think an indicator here could be Scorpio placements, a strong Pluto influence (perhaps 8th house as well), and especially harsh aspects between venus and Pluto. The Scorpio/Pluto energy has the potential to attract obsessive/possessive people and in a harsh aspect to venus, this could get ugly. So you're right, your Scorpio rising may very well play a part in this.

Something else I found is Uranus in the 7th house and/or conjunct the descendant. I'm honestly not sure about this one but since Uranus is involved, there's a tendency of attracting "weirdos", I guess. Uranus is currently in Taurus and therefore transiting your 7th house, so this might be another indicator.

Furthermore, I found something about Pisces/Neptune/12th house placements. The Pisces influence can easily be taken advantage of by others and so, people with a strong Piscean influence may need to be vigilant about creeps (or anyone for that matter) who doesn't respect their boundaries and privacy.

And a last indicator I think has an influence on this is having a dominant black moon lilith in your chart (meaning, lilith forming strong aspects to your sun/rising especially but other important/dominant placements).

I hope something here was of help and again, please stay safe!!🥺🙏🏻

#I have all of these placements and really attract a lot of creeps and also had a stalker for a while #i honestly don't know what to do about it #i just always try to stay vigilant carry pepper spray and make sure i don't walk around alone when it's dark #astrology #astro asks #pluto #scorpio #pisces #neptune #lilith #uranus