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jishyucks · 5 months

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Happy Holidays! The Universe Hates Me. — hrj

‣ pairing: huang renjun x reader

‣ genre: fluff, academic-rivals-to-(implied)lovers, forced proximity, kinda slice-of-life

‣ wc: 3.7k

‣ summary: You don’t hate many things, but you could proudly say that you hate snow and Huang Renjun. And now that the universe has decided that it was a great idea to have you snowed in with the smartass himself, you’ll gladly add the universe to that list.

‣ warnings: slightly one-sided rivalry (more so Renjun’s developed feelings before reader so he’s acting on it before reader even gets what they’re feeling), the pair eat some cup ramen, set in that weird period where they dk how they feel

‣ an: I rly thought this was going to be easy to write but sike (⊙_⊙) ig its bc its basically e2l and these r difficult to write,, I was excited to write Renjun's but idk if I did my own idea justice,, anyways I hope it's still a fun read!

Series Masterlist

You’ve never been so nervous for a final in your life.

Sure, you didn’t find the content difficult, nor did you feel lost. Hell, if you were asked to explain the content with no aids, you can confidently do it.

The only reason why you were so nervous for a damn final was because you knew that Huang Renjun was going to do better than you. Why? You’re not sure. But you had this gut feeling that his name was going to be listed right above yours on that stupid list and you were not going to let that happen.

“You need to go home soon, okay?” Karina frowns. She’s all bundled up, a scarf tightly wrapped over her face to shield her from Jack Frost. She knows how much of a workaholic you were, especially when it came to Renjun, “It’s getting late. It’s already dark out and there’s no one else here. Text me when you get home.”

You nod, “I will, I promise. I’ll just finish this last lesson and then I’ll leave. I’m hungry, anyway.”

Her stern expression softens underneath her scarf and she teasingly ruffles your hair, “Talk to you later, honeybun.”

You wave and watch her leave before turning back to the scattered papers in front of you, your laptop burning holes in your eyes because you’ve been staring at it for way longer than a physician’s recommendation. The final was on physics, something that wasn’t your strongest suit. It was probably because the way your teachers decided to word the questions on exams screwed you over—but then again, you couldn’t blame your struggles on that.

Maybe you did just suck at physics.

Your eyes scanned the lesson you were currently studying, quietly reading it under your breath so that you could process the information—critical threshold… velocity… laminar to turbulent… fluid and momentum… the dissipation of energy…

“Ughhhh!”

Your heart drops to your stomach, eyes almost slipping out of their sockets at the sound of another person groaning. You clearly remember Karina just saying that there wasn’t anyone else here.

Then who in the actual fuck…

Your mind jumps to conclusions and thinks up the worst-case scenario. It could be a ghost… were you Scrooge and the ghosts here to visit you? No fucking way… you loved Christmas… Or it could be a murderer. But what kind of murderer groans before he reaches his target?

Using this as an excuse to procrastinate, you quietly push your chair away from the table and stand up. You can recall that the groaning echoed from the back of the library, so you begin making your way down to the back of the room. Your attempt to keep your footsteps quiet, barely lifting them off from the ground.

You guess you were making your way in the correct direction because now you can hear the sound of muffled music. You suppose it was coming out of the other person’s headphones.

As you approach the end of one of the aisles of books, you bend over and peek through the cracks between the books. Your eyes betray you, not focusing on the figure sitting at one of the tables because the books are in the way. Leaning closer, you squint to get a better look at the figure studying, head bopping to the music blaring through their headphones.

Who is that?

When your eyes finally adjust, you curse under your breath.

Personally, you would rather it be a murderer on the other side of the shelf.

Because Huang Renjun of all people? Here? With you? Did the universe hate you or something?

You let out a faint groan, squeezing your eyes before you go to turn back to your table.

Of course, Huang Renjun would be here and studying late. There’s a small tiny part of you that wasn’t even surprised that Renjun was the only other person at school at this hour. There was a reason why you felt like he was seriously going to do better than you on this physics final. He worked for it despite being naturally intelligent.

“Fucking Huang Renjun,” you gently let your forehead fall forward, making a gentle thud against the table. Fucking Huang Renjun because, suddenly, you no longer feel hungry and you now desperately wanted to finish a week’s worth of content before leaving. Sure the idea was immature—doing all this for some guy who thought he was smarter than everyone else—but you couldn’t help it. This was how it’s been since junior high.

And old habits die hard, right?

For the next 2 hours, you push yourself to study for the stupid final, eyes straining as you continuously shift them between your laptop screen and your papers. And you say push yourself because now that you had the knowledge that Renjun was sitting metres away from you, you somehow could not focus for the life of you. It was like he had cast some spell on you to do anything but focus on physics.

You groan. You have been reading the same paragraph on boundary layers for the past ten minutes, hyper-aware of Renjun. The words blur together, and you become hyper-aware of Renjun's presence nearby. Despite your efforts, your mind wanders, and occasional stolen glances in his direction betray your attempts at concentration.

With an irritated sigh, you shake your head, attempting to bring yourself back to the task at hand. Why the fuck is Renjun occupying so much of your headspace?

Feeling defeated, you reach forward, roughly shutting your laptop closed before you begin bunching your papers up together. Not a single fibre in your body even cared if it was organized or not—that was for you to worry about later—because you just wanted out of here and away from Renjun before he completely plagues your mind.

Finally, you throw your bag over your shoulder and begin making your way out of the library.

Meanwhile, Renjun, who was managing well with his work catches sight of your figure leaving, winter coat zipped up to your nose.

“Wait, Y/N!”

You turn back to find Renjun pushing his seat back, getting up to make his way towards you.

“Ugh,” you roll your eyes. You continue making your way out of the room, ignoring Renjun’s calls for you to stop.

The mature response would be to, well, stop and listen, but after Renjun just indirectly wasted 2 hours of your life trying to absorb some information on physics, you didn’t want anything to do with him. You just wanted to go home and eat, before you pull another all-nighter to make up for the lost time.

“Y/N!”

You were jogging now, treating the situation like Renjun was some kind of monster coming after you. It was odd that Renjun was keeping up with you, tailing you like he was one of those salesmen trying to get you to try a sample of their product.

You’re relieved when you see the front doors of the school ahead of you, streetlights illuminating through the small half-windows. You feel your feet pick up its pace, eager to finally get out of the building and get fresh air.

“Y/N!” Renjun’s out of breath, “You can’t leave!” He reaches out and quickly grabs your wrist. The contact causes shivers to run up your arm and you’re quick to pull your limb back.

Brows furrowed, you sent him daggers through your glare, “And why not?”

Renjun fishes his phone out from his hoodie pocket and he holds it up despite you not being close enough to see anything on it, “The news. All the roads are closed. No cars on the roads. We’re stuck in here until they say everything’s clear.”

“You’re lying.” Your stubborn ass refuses to believe Renjun.

Renjun huffs, “Just check it for your fucking self if you don’t want to believe me.” His arms crossed and he pushes all his weight onto one leg.

Reluctant to look stupid, you slowly pull your own phone out. You realize that you actually haven’t looked at any notifications lately, all your focus directed toward studying. When you finally look at your phone, you’re met with tens of notifications, both from the news app and a handful from your family members and friends, mainly Karina, who are asking if you’re going home soon or if you’ve gone home because of the news the city sent out about the roads.

“And why didn’t you leave?” you say awkwardly, “When they sent the warnings out?”

Renjun swallows his spit, “I didn’t see any of them either. I was too caught up with studying.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you mutter. The realization of the situation starts to sink in—you're trapped at school, possibly overnight, and your only company is Huang Renjun, the boy who’s decided to make himself the bane of your existence. Then, you find yourself teetering between relief that you're not alone and frustration that you're stuck with Huang Renjun of all people.

Your eyes flicker at Renjun, who’s waiting for you to say something to him. And you do, “This is all your fault!”

Renjun’s mouth falls open slightly, the space in between his eyebrows wrinkling at your accusation, “How the hell is this my fault? I didn’t tell the damn city to close the roads!” Renjun holds himself back from raising his voice, but the emptiness of the halls causes it to bounce off the walls.

“If I hadn’t seen you studying and being the overachiever you are, I would have gone home earlier,” you argue back. The second it slips from your lips, you realize how stupid you actually sound—but you don’t say anything. Without saying another word, you push past Renjun intending to return your spot in the library.

Renjun, however, isn't one to let things slide. He follows you back into the library, his frustration evident in the tight set of his jaw. "So, it's my fault you chose to stay? That you didn’t see the notifications?”

You shoot him a glare over your shoulder, not slowing your pace. "I chose to stay because of you! Trying too hard being a model student."

Despite it being pretty clear that the argument was childish and that it was going nowhere, you and Renjun were far too stubborn to back down.

Renjun scoffs, catching up to you. "Trying too hard!? I study because I take my education seriously. Maybe if you put in half the effort I do, you wouldn't be lagging behind."

"Oh, spare me, Renjun.” Your blood boils at his condescending tone, whirling around to face him and eyes ablaze with frustration. "You're insufferable, you know that?"

This is where you can see Renjun physically falter. The stress in his brows goes slack and there’s a shift in his expression, “Insufferable? Y/N I—”

"Whatever, Renjun. I really don’t want to speak to you right now.” You roll your eyes and turn your back on him, “Now, If you’ll excuse me, I have a fucking final to study for.”

Ignoring his attempts to keep the conversation alive, you make your way back to your table, your anger simmering in your chest. Renjun watches you go, a mixture of annoyance and something else in his eyes.

The library becomes a battleground of silent tension, each of you (mostly you) seething in your own space.

You set your table back up the way it previously was. Then, you quickly send your friends and family texts explaining what had happened and why you weren’t home by now.

You attempt to start where you left off, the words Boundary Layers practically taunting you at this point. The phrase is pissing you off and you’ve read it enough times for you to be able to recite the sentence from the textbook perfectly.

Wave interference, you read, eyes blinking at the screen—something about paths intersecting and creating new patterns of unity… discord…

You let your eyes do the rest of the scanning, not exactly absorbing any of the material before you move on. At this point, you feel like not studying entirely. Besides, you weren’t exactly in the right state of mind to be absorbing material.

The clock at the front of the library reads 8:28 and you feel like taking a nap is the best idea right now. It’ll help you cool off, pull you back in the right headspace and perhaps help you with the all-nighter you’ll probably pull tonight.

Twisting your body, you pull your jacket off of your chair, folding it to create a makeshift pillow. Sliding your things aside, you place the pillow in front of you and shimmy your butt back against the chair before leaning forward to rest your head against it. In all honesty, it wasn’t the most comfortable place to rest your head, but it will have to do for now.

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

The shuffling of feet and the clattering of objects woke you from your nap.

You don’t move, nor do you open your eyes, all you do is listen to try and figure out what the hell is going on. Through the fabric of your jacket, you can hear that Renjun is moving things around on your table and you can’t help but feel your anger shoot up.

You keep your cool on the outside, pretending to stir in your sleep before you peek through half-opened eyelids.

You’d honestly find this part funny if you were watching a drama. But the thing was, you weren’t watching a drama. And it was anything but funny.

Slowly, you raise your head to get a better look at what Renjun was up to, fully expecting him to be messing with your belongings. You guess you were doing your job correctly because Renjun seems to not have noticed you looking at him.

The scene (you embarrassingly admit) warms a piece of your heart just by a little bit—and you hate that it does.

Renjun’s trying to keep your papers organized, stacking them horizontally and then vertically to keep them grouped in the stacks you already had them in. He had even moved your laptop to a safer spot, off to the side.

The reason why he was doing all this was sitting just across the table from you and to Renjun’s left.

Two cups of instant ramen.

“What are you doing?'' Your voice comes out more hoarse than you’d like, but it was probably because you’ve been napping for what felt like an hour or two.

Renjun freezes, lips parting slightly and eyes growing two times its size when he realizes that you’re awake. Sure, he would have had to wake you up sooner or later, but you waking up on your own wasn’t part of his plan. He should’ve done all this a bit quieter.

“I…” He starts. Renjun gulps and pulls back, wringing his hands through sweater paws.

You wait for him to give you a coherent reply, looking at him in hopes of forcing one out of him.

Renjun’s at a loss for words, afraid that you wouldn’t quite get him if he explained his reasoning. He leans over and wraps his hand around one of the noodle cups, gently sliding it toward you.

You blink at the steaming cup in front of you, caught between annoyance and a peculiar sense of gratitude. "Are you trying to make this situation bearable or something?"

“Well it wouldn’t be fair competition if only I was able to eat, would it?” Renjun shrugs. From his hoodie pocket, Renjun pulls out a plastic fork wrapped in tissue, one he had probably taken from the cafeteria, and places it next to your cup of noodles, “Eat.”

You blink at the noodles and eye the boy suspiciously, “You didn’t do anything to it, did you?” You mistrustfully pull the fork toward you, unwrapping it before you dip it into the soup.

“Of course not… I’m not evil.” A scoff shoots out through Renjun’s nose.

Renjun pulls out a chair from your table, taking a seat before pulling his own cup of noodles toward him.

Your eyes linger on Renjun for a moment longer, contemplating whether or not you should believe him. Eventually, hunger wins over skepticism, and you take a cautious bite of the noodles. They taste surprisingly good, given the circumstances.

For a while, there's a strange quiet as both of you focus on your meal. The only sounds are the occasional slurps and the storm outside rattling the windows. It's a bizarre scene, you and Renjun sharing instant ramen in the middle of the night, trapped at school. Who would have thought?

As you dig into your food, you start feeling a shift in your mood. The annoyance from being woken up slowly turns into a grudging acknowledgement that Renjun tried to make things a bit less crappy. It's kind of funny when you think about it. You two had a small argument earlier, and now here you are, quietly sharing a meal. It's like an unspoken agreement, maybe a truce, even if neither of you is ready to admit it out loud.

Meanwhile, Renjun seems engrossed in his noodles, occasionally glancing in your direction as if gauging your reaction to the impromptu meal. He looks like he wants to say something, but he’s not choosing to do so despite the tension that is usually present in your interactions being strangely minimal.

Finally, you break the silence. "Where did you get the noodles?"

He looks at you, brows raising at your willingness to start a conversation. "It’s not my first time staying past dinner. I have a stash in my locker."

“Not surprised,” you mumble. You pick the cup up and bring the rim up to your lips. Tipping your head back, you take sips of the soup, feeling the warmth of the fluids fall into your stomach like a hug.

“Oh, shut up,” Renjun groans, “Or else I’ll take the noodles back.”

“Lucky for me,” you look at him and laugh, “I’m finished.” When you plop the fork back into the cup, it makes that noise you hear when you scratch the cardboard.

Renjun hums. "Well then, I guess you owe me one. After all, you're enjoying the hospitality of my secret noodle stash."

You roll your eyes, trying to maintain a facade of annoyance, but there's a glint of amusement in your eyes. Of course, Renjun would take this opportunity to gain something for himself. It was such a Renjun move. It’s always been like this. "I could've survived just fine without your instant noodles."

He chuckles, taking the last slurp of his own noodles before he deems himself finished, too. "And yet, you still ate it all up like a starved puppy.”

There’s a beat of silence before you lean forward, resting your head on your propped arm, “I guess I should say thank you, huh?”

Renjun grins and you only notice it because it’s more evident in his eyes than it was on his lips. He was seemingly pleased with your acknowledgment, but he quickly covered it up with a nonchalant shrug, "Don't mention it.” His voice comes out soft, mirroring the setting, “If you passed out from hunger under my watch, wouldn’t want that tainting my ‘model student’ image.”

You give him a side-eye, feeling the sudden need to tease him, “Don’t lie, Huang Renjun, you secretly care about me.” The statement was mostly a joke, so you think nothing of it. You stack your empty cup onto Renjun’s and stand up to throw it out. You don’t notice the way Renjun freezes in his seat for half a second.

“And what if I did?” Renjun shrugs. He gulps and feels the sudden need to flee the situation—Why did he say that?

You turn to face him, surprised by his response. Renjun's casual demeanour, though slightly defensive, holds a hint of genuineness. It's a side of him you're not used to seeing, and it catches you off guard.

"What if you did what?" you ask, feigning ignorance to see if Renjun would elaborate. A part of you is afraid of what he’s going to say.

“What if I did care about you?” Renjun’s playing with the corner of one of your papers, creating a sound that fills the silence between the two of you, “I don’t hate you as a person, you know… I get that we always compete in grades and extracurriculars but… I don’t hate you as a person.”

The confession makes your heart skip a beat and you catch yourself beginning to chew on your bottom lip, something you do when you’re nervous. The unexpected sincerity in his words causes you to halt your own, a momentary pause in your banter. You've grown used to the constant back-and-forth, the verbal sparring that characterizes your interactions with Renjun. This, however, feels different.

"You're messing with me, right?" you reply, half expecting him to smirk and dismiss the entire conversation as a joke.

“What do you think?” Renjun retorts.

You take a moment to think everything through. You have a good feeling Renjun’s not joking, that he really doesn’t hate you as a person, and you can’t help but think about the other possibilities of what this meant. Then you think about how you feel towards Renjun because you guess you at least owed him that.

“You don’t need to say anything now,” Renjun assures, “It’s… confusing. Even I'm still figuring things out… I just know that I don’t hate you.”

"You're not as insufferable as I claim you are,” you begin cautiously, “But it pisses me off that you both distract and motivate me when it comes to school.” And this was true. Today was a good example of that, though you weren’t entirely sure where these stem from.

Renjun raises an eyebrow, his lips curling into a half-smile. "I'll take that as a compliment.”

You roll your eyes. "Don't get too ahead of yourself, Renjun. I’m just saying—” “—Saying that you like me more than you think you do?” Renjun interrupts, “I know, I know.”

Your eyes narrow at Renjun, “You wish.”

A moment of understanding passes between you, and for the first time, the competitiveness in your dynamic softens. It's not yet a friendship, but it's a recognition that there's more to each other than the constant rivalry.

Renjun laughs, which transitions into a yawn. He acknowledges your comment with a hum, “I’m going to take a nap. Wake me up in a bit so I can study?”

You playfully roll your eyes, a small smile lingering on your lips.

“Well it wouldn’t be fair competition if I didn’t, would it?”

tags: @tytrackfebreze @lovesuhng @hoonieji @niinjo @dinonuguaegi

an: the next few parts of the series might be posted a day late (until Felix,, but we'll see!). Next up is Jisung which I feel like will be ADORABLE. ty for taking the time to read! I would love to hear your thoughts even if its something short! hope you enjoyed it!

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pseudophan · 6 months

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how did we figure out phil’s room in the second london flat was a set beyond the fact that his shit was in dans room? and also how did we figure out the two flat situation i literally do not remember

oh boy, well, this story is vastly different depending on the phannie circles you were in at the time

me personally i saw their floor plans like, a week after they moved in. i always knew they had two flats, way before it even became a theory, but i was on here for two years like idk man! who's to say! because oh my god we were NOT supposed to know that shit. now, in my defence, it REALLY wasn't my fault. i didn't go looking for it nor did i ask to see it, however i did and to this day the whole thing was just very funny. weird! creepy! but funny. i'm not gonna say who found them in the first place, but in short the real estate listings stayed up for awhile after they moved in and bc of the location (near the first london flat, an address everyone had at that point) someone quite easily found them. said person emailed phil and phil got them taken down, but because phannies can't keep their mouths shut the contents of that listing did get spread around a fair bit

as for everyone who Wasn't being a creep like some of us, there were just clues that added up over time. firstly just like, the designs of the two flats are vastly different. you can tell which rooms belong to which flat just based on the look of them, and the difference in style combined with the fact that they had two kitchens made it so it just didn't make much sense for all of this to be one apartment. there was a whole thing about hardwood floors vs carpet, namely when phil tweeted about this centipede that got into "his room" and then dan happened to "walk past" at 2am. meanwhile the pics he posted of said centipede were on wooden floors (or laminate or whatever idk) and the amazingphil bedroom set very much had carpet. like, the centipede was in the moon room, i do believe the conclusion was

my personal favourite thing though was one of phil's sleepless night videos, because those of us who knew for a fact there were two flats were CRYYYINGGGG laughing at that shit bc the blatant lying was just so funny. this dude rly laid on top of his sheets fully clothed complaining at full volume about how he couldn't sleep. but then he went to get a charger from the living room (in the other flat, where dan was sleeping) and all of a sudden he's being all quiet. absolutely incredible content. 10/10 no notes.

anyway, kids... don't look at your favourite youtube gay people's floor plans. even if it's funny.

#answered

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wachtelspinat · 4 months

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Hey ! I’ve been seeing your art going around since your midnight crew stuff and I just recently stubble across your tumblr, thank to your beautiful overwatch art for our beloveds junkers ! I’ve been scrolling through your account and read about your experience of being a former graphic designer who is a doctor now. And damn. I can’t emphasize how much I admire you, especially as someone who is struggling really hard to choose between 2 careers paths ( with one of them being art related ). This is why I was wondering if you would be open to talk about how and why you switched from art to medecine ? Especially because most of the time I feel it happens more the other way around ? ( If it’s too personal just ignore this ask + sorry if you already talked about it before )

hey ! no worries, i don't expect ppl to scroll through my tumblr to find an answer for a question they might have. first of all thanks for your nice words, means a lot <3

i switched from art to medicine because my early 20-something-self was even more anxiety-ridden than my present-self, and being in art school and having to "perform" regularly was a nightmare. i'm talking about a time in which i was so scared of being perceived that i often skipped grocery shopping, just so i could avoid being around people. so like, pitching art related projects to peers and profs was eeh... especially because art is so personal oh my god. i still hate it when someone tries to sneak a peek while i'm drawing, makes me wanna throw my sketchbook and myself off the bridge. anyways so i always felt a 110% inadequate (plus i got a gf during that time who was so good to me and tried to get me out of my funk on multiple occasions (she was and still is an artist and has now a career as a freelancer and i'm rly proud of her) but i couldn't see that because i just compared the two of us all the time and sabotaged any attempt she made for having fun with drawing with her) that i sat down at some point and asked myself if i could do this any longer, and i came to the conclusion that no, it really kills me rn.

what made me go into the health sector? i don't even know anymore, i think it was a mixture of "i loved biology, esp. the human body in school" and "my mum is an icu nurse and talks a lot about hospitals, maybe i should check it out"... it was not a well thought through decision, which is so funny because studying medicine was a hell of a meatgrinder ride (also my anxiety and self hatred? still there, but now i wasn't judged anymore because of my art but instead being called a dumb idiot collectively with all the other students because nobody likes med students) and for some reason i was able to get through that despite it not being my passion at all, but i couldn't stand up for myself in art school. i don't even know if i could work through it nowadays, but the good thing is i don't have to ask myself this question anymore, because being a doctor pays the bills, and ever since i left art school i was able to just draw without consequence. which is nice to a degree, my artistic output is not tied to the means of generating money. on the other hand... idk, in another life with more confidence and less worries, i'd love to be some sort of character designer T_T

so yeah that's basically it. at some times i cherished my career decisions, at other times i regretted them deeply, worst thing is i know it has a lot to do with personality, but the fact that we can't change who we are with a blink of an eye gives me the framework to think that the path i took was ok. as in. things happened for a reason and maybe i'm just not cut out for that kind of work. you have to be aware of the conditions of a job to decide if you are up for it. because being an artist doesn't end with "just draw". i myself had an unrealistic view of the job back then too. and the fact that i could not seperate between personal aspects and "doing a job here" was crucial.

yeah, idk if this is helpful at all. i think the one thing that is super important here is to have a realistic view on the conditions of work you are about to head into, and i know this is mostly very difficult to aquire. because unless you really work in a sector there is often no way to fully grasp the situations you can find yourself in (this applied for me also in the health sector, which made me fall into a depression a year ago, but what do you do after you spent 6 years of studying :') ). doing internships and just trying to get to know a lot of things really helps. and - idk how old you are, but if you're really young: it's ok to switch careers at some point. it's even ok to do so when you are older (trying to end on a positive note here because it feels like i just said a lot of depressing things... like don't get me wrong i like my job, the conditions are just fucked up, and again my personality prevents me from switching again but it's also not that easy in germany, BUT it's a valid thing to do, being versatile is good! just... make sure you don't end up with a job that you absolutely hate because that kills it all)

#LONG #sorry #i'm rambling #being an adult is hard and it never ends being a work in progress

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eirian · 18 days

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HONESTLY..ive been thinking a lil.

so i started down my path to becoming a professional character designer in 2013, when i designed my very first character who was MEANT to be a character design exercise. i cant exactly remember what prompted me wanting to go into character design--it could have just been that i was passionate about designing characters to the point of where i had looked up if that was a job or not--but it had become such a passion of mine that i would go on to study and practice character design for like 10 years afterward.

in 2018 i started to take this career path more seriously by enrolling in stephen silver's schoolism class, the fundamentals of character design. this was significant for me because stephen was at the time a very recent idol of mine and i admired his abilities--plus this would count as my first "formal" character design learning experience. i didnt feel very good after taking the class; it was critiqued, and i kind of got ripped into lol. but after i recovered, i didnt give up and just worked harder, eventually taking his second class a couple years later. that time i did pretty well and i came out feeling like i was finally ready to apply to jobs in the industry!

unfortunately, erm...the job hunting was not only Not a success, but it only served to kind of kill my passion for character design. every time i applied i was rejected and every critique i asked for gave me something new i had to do differently. one critique in particular hurt me a lot and killed my passion for art overall (obviously not completely, i have the art autism so i could never fully fall out of love for it lol). it got to the point where last year (2023) i made the decision to give up on character design as a career and just do commissions full time.

dont get me wrong, i am very happy doing commissions as my full time job!!! i love drawing people's blorbos :]...but also, its a very inconsistent income, and theres been a couple months where i couldnt make rent without help, and that doesnt feel good at all.

so ive been thinking. i dont rly wanna go back to the industry--it still feels bad to me and right now it seems as though the industry is not in a great environmental situation anyway, so i dont wanna even attempt to try getting a job there again. however........i was honestly reconsidering if i had actually lost the passion for character design because it just genuinely wasnt my true passion, or if i had only lost it because the industry killed it. and i think the conclusion i came to was that yeah it was the industry's fault that made me fall out of love with it because it made me feel like i was doing everything wrong and nobody would like my design style.

so now my thought is like...maybe i dont HAVE to work in the industry to be a professional character designer? sure itd be AMAZING for my work to be on like. cartoon network or something. but i dont think i Have to work at a studio to be happy in that career path?? like..idk. maybe i can be a freelancer or something. if an industry opportunity shows itself i dont think i'll decline, but i wont actively seek them out anymore.

its just that i feel like ive put too much work and time and money and effort and passion into character design yknow? i dont feel right anymore just letting the industry kill that passion. i wanna reignite it and use the knowledge and skills ive gained over the 10 years ive been working at it to make a good living for myself. yeah itd be great to get guild pay lol, but if i can just...figure out how to do freelance character design work, then i think it can be just as good and fulfilling

sorry for the long post i just needed to air some thoughts out as usual <33 i guess this does show that character design still is my passion LOL i talked so fucking much about it after all. if u have any thoughts to share feel free i guess

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catdemontraphouse · 9 months

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Through having an autism moment for one of my favorite movies and its related medias (the current Beetlejuice fixation) I came to the following conclusions:

*Beetlejuice’s favorite color is probably red, which is probably a reference to the color of the star he’s named after

*Beetlejuice enjoys fashion and could even possibly be considered a designer (yes rly) Despite being a grungy character who’s known for being smelly and gross… he is a designer/seamstress with a vested interest in fashion???

Yes I’m going to explain in horrifically unnecessary detail. (It’s the autism) and yes this draws from all the juices but tbh any one of them would work as a stand-alone example (except maybe musicaljuice but he’s critical to the sewing part and also he’s the cute one)

————————-

The argument for Beetlejuice being an amateur designer:

There’s an interview somewhere with the costume designer for the musical that says they wanted the pinstripe black and white suit to look like it had been repaired and modified over the years, because since Beetlejuice was a loner, he’d been solely responsible for making and maintaining his wardrobe. So like, he sewed his own suit by his lonesome out of fabric of some sort. Because if it was magic why the hell would it need repairs? Which suggests at least to me that he *enjoys* making clothes because why go through all that work if you can materialize anything at will? And I mean it fits so, I’m sure it wasn’t his first ever pattern making and sewing experience.

There’s also the way toonjuice refers to his suit as having “never been washed” on numerous occasions so I don’t reckon it’s something he just makes from magic and poofs into nothingness on the fly? Though toonjuice could be argued to buy his clothing since they never stated he made it and he lives in some kinda monster city idk. I’m saying that suggests physical matter somehow not like, idk a temporary illusion? If you can wash it, it has some sort of mass to it right?

Listen, why the fuck a guy who can make his own patterns and sew an entire suit would not wash it is beyond me but okay. Anyways the point is there’s a suggestion being made here by the franchise that Beetlejuice makes his own clothing in the traditional way by sewing together some sort of permanent matter. I can’t say I get the same impression from moviejuice though. There’s not much to suggest his clothing isn’t just temporary magic bullshit, save for the visible decay… ok wait maybe it is made of permanent material. 🤷‍♀️ either that or the dust, tattering and moss is a fashion choice? 🤨🤨

Ok so for this next part let’s just like, put aside the weirdness going down with the wedding thing in the movie (btw I’ve seen it numerous times and I feel like it’s def “a green card thing” in the original as well, pay attention to the characters’ behaviors/interactions throughout the film with one another and u can see what I mean.)

Beetlejuice probably designed that red wedding dress right? Because he materialized it or pulled it out of thin air or whatever? And the matching red tux, same thing. I kinda think that was the fashionista in him taking the excuse to make dramatic evening wear lol. Using Lydia as a Bratz doll dressing her up in his designs smh

There’s also how jazzed up and amused he was by turning Otho into a walking fashion faux pas, or at least I have to assume that’s what he was doing when he ripped the guys outfit apart and replaced it with something that caused Otho to scream in terror. How tf does a smelly guy in a crypt know what’s considered a style no-no unless he’s into this shit lol

Oh and uh if you’ve ever seen the cartoon he dresses himself up in all sorts of little outfits on the fly, like very frequently. If nothing else he’s coming up with the concepts for these clothes, maybe not constructing them himself in every version of the franchise but he’s at least designing the outfits in all of them or so I assume. He also gives other characters makeovers or new outfits on various occasions. It seems for Beetlejuice, the living are like breathing Barbie dolls he sees no issue with dressing up in his latest creations.

I’ll now explain the “favorite color is red” thing:

*Beetlejuice doesn’t wear many outfits in the movie, but three out of the four I can remember had red in them. The aforementioned wedding outfits were primarily red. His shirt under the coat in the guide outfit is red. 🤷‍♀️ (Adams undershirt that he copies is red but I don’t rly think it counts) Whenever he’s seen wearing a saturated, non-neutral color, it’s red.

*didn’t he crash a little red car in the model at one point?… I just watched this movie again like last month and I forget already. That car in the photo, he crashed it into a fire hydrant earlier in the movie, didn’t he? Idk maybe not

*his tombstone has his name written on it in red

*toonjuice always has red nail polish 🤷‍♀️

*idk if this counts for anything but the nightclub Juno created to lure him away from the Maitlands was entirely red idk

*and the star Betelgeuse is a red supergiant, so yeah

Bonus entry is this guy a reference to Viy or am I overthinking it???

Yeah ok I’m def overthinking it. 🤦‍♀️

That’s all i have to say. All that crap above. Bye.

#long post #like rly long #I think tumblr auto (read more) these days but if not #plz tell me how to do that!!!#sorry #beetlejuice #betelgeuse #beetlejuice musical #toonjuice #bettyjuice

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thatborutosideblog · 1 month

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warning for tbv chapter 8 rambling below! except it’s mostly about mitsuki bc that’s my thing here lmao

as much as i find it funny that the dudebros on twt are distraught for thinking the manga maybe confirmed mitsuki’s gay, im also irreparably distressed over how quickly theyre jumping on these conclusions over a… kind of faulty translation

anyway i love the eida-mitsuki conversation so much. mitsuki’s bringing forth the love he feels for eida and how that he knows it’s brought to fruition by her powers was rly nice. i love the approach he’s taking being all introspective and contemplative over emotions as an artificial human. it’s nice that he’s able to relate with eida regarding their feelings towards another person. eida very self consciously calling their convo a girls talk + the way it happened with mitsuki of all people was cute. i think that moment did amazing at humanizing two not-so-human characters. they make me sad lmao these two need more real relationships fr

the thing with mitsuki is that he’s a little.. flat (not like in a doylist way). make no mistake he’s got layers plus promising potentials — but they’re quite untapped (<- boruto knows this). mitsuki’s aware of it too, in that thought he’d be just fine as long as he’s got his sun. him being thankful to eida that he got to know what it’s like to experience “love” i think was a breach in this constant. the omnipotence intervention literally kind of meddled with mitsuki’s code to the point it kickstarted his development toward becoming more human. idk where im going with this lmao sorry i’m just ecstatic to see him get development in the manga. shoutout to the few normal mitsuki fans who’ve waited years for this i guess

#listen. this account is kind of dead im just gonna be blunt #no offense to the translator!!! love the food it’s not their fault ppl are fucking homophobic #was a bit upsetting that ppl were treating a meaningful scene as nothinh beyond ship conflict anr sexuality discourse #but what did i expect #to be clear this isnt saying that *that* part is completely a mistranslation btw #manga mitsuki and anime mitsuki have the slightest differences huh #theres more between the lines here alluding to mitsuki and boruto’s relationship but im tired #thoughts so cluttered sry if anyone’s reading this #spoilers

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ultrvmonogamy · 5 months

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who is milk carton girl? and how do i become her?

sadly she is no one, but the tag relates to the fact that pictures of missing persons used to be put on the backs of milk cartons. idk when i started using it but it's just kind of an abstraction in my mind related to abduction/captivity/caretaker kink type stuff. i've tried to elaborate on it several times when asked, but unfortunately all of the old asks have been nuked along w the termed blogs they belonged to.

why would u wanna become someone if u didn't even know who they r, hmm? but srsly i'm too beat down on the romantic (or wtv) front (super appealing in itself, right?) to give u a v inspired answer at this point, but i can rattle off a few things that r important to me.

let's see: be an adult w a well-developed frontal lobe (this should be obvious but i have to say it first anyway bc if i don't then for some reason its absence is interpreted to mean i want the opposite, probably by the same sorts who call ppl antisemitic for daring to think that palestinian children on fire is an atrocity etc).

be respectful. love animals. value nature. embrace diversity. judge ppl by their merits and intent if reality finds u in a position where it makes sense for u to judge them at all. have an actual intrinsic need to address ur internal conditions. desire to forge something healthier than what u've known w all the unintegrated n jagged n broken bits of urself and to do so within a partnership built upon a foundation of honesty, loyalty, transparency, commitment, devotion n similar.

be perfectly okay w chill n boring (i'm a lot of that and will move swiftly away from overstimulation unless i have strong motivation to endure or participate in it, e.g. a concert i want to go to or an emergency like if ppl require assistance in a catastrophic event that i find myself in the middle of). on the other side of that coin, be someone who does not seek novelty in lieu of building something meaningful. be someone who does not need attention, affection, n validation from multiple external sources to the detriment of individual relationships. highly value shared solitude.

be someone who is not motivated by a desire to live a lavish lifestyle and even rather finds material excess oppressive on a personal level without even having first to consider the oppression of those suffering n dying in the shadows due to the exploitation required to make such things available to those who would indulge in them at any cost they do not personally have to pay.

be a good match for my sexual idiosyncrasies. be patient w intimacy. there's undoubtedly plenty more here n beyond, but i'm out of steam for the moment.

right now what i'd value n probably need most from someone if they're going to be a presence in my life is for them to be generally nice and to contribute to our shared reality as in a partnership. oh, and also for them to not want things from me that i cannot offer.

i'm not even rly sure if that's quite what u were asking, but it's definitely relevant.

also, n this is important here: get off anon asap if ur serious. i have come to the conclusion that the diagonal parasocial nature of one-side-anonymous discourse is such that essentially any rapport built under these conditions ends up amounting to damage that would need to be undone in order to move forward as two ppl who can see each other on the same terms.

i appreciate ur interest, n i hope ur having a nice saturday/sunday 🫶

#mail #anon #oc

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feekins · 10 months

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and in ch 5, we have the conclusion of the battle against Gray and Leonov...so, as always, here are my thoughts and things and whatever translation weirdness I find as I re-read Trigun Maximum vol 3!

(NOTE: I'm reading the Dark Horse [physical] and the Overhaul [online] translations side-by-side)

OKLIKESO. we left off in this room where there's blood on the floor and a mountain of boxes...at the top of which Brad finds...

...Isabel, presumably. but she doesn't come out of the boxes like the other puppets do, so...methinks there's something different about her.

back with Wolfwood, as he's dealing with the last of "Gray" we see these flashes of kids from the orphanage. this used to confuse me, but now I think maybe it's, like...calling back to what all Wolfwood has on the line? idk, it has me thinking back to what he said to Vash in Trigun Maximum vol 1 (quoting the Overhaul here): "Even people who would never fight will pick up a gun if their loved ones are killed."

(Dark Horse on left, Overhaul on right)

another instance of an interesting Dark Horse-ism + a pretty significant translation discrepancy!

here's another thing that confused me before! I always thought that gory middle panel was Isabel having gotten fucked up from falling...but then, we see Leonov with Isabel, so that doesn't rly make sense, does it (tbf it's not a close-up of Isabel, so 🤷)? anyway. my assumption came from the fact that Dark Horse's translation completely leaves out the bit (in ch 7 of Trigun Maximum vol 2) about the puppets being made from ppl who were dissected alive.

now that I know that extra-fun little detail this read-through...I think that's what that gory middle panel is about 🫠

and yet Vash still tries to save Leonov. I'm feeling An Emotion :(

oh and here's what makes me think Isabel isn't a puppet - or at least, not like the others:

Leonov has strings on Isabel (or her box) and he never uses her. we never see her move. so...I'm wondering if maybe she died young and Leonov like...tried to preserve her.

(...I wonder if she died before he got the chance...)

I know the translations here are similar, but still. it's interesting to compare. once again, it feels like Dark Horse has Wolfwood being, like...uncharacteristically poetic? why. LET HIM DO HIS SWEARS.

but then the girls are here to save the day!!! Milly's move strikes me as one Vash would pull, too 🤣

#trigunbookclub #text postan 2k23

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coredrill · 3 months

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fans of the SPIRAL POWER SHOW when their movie theater chair starts spinning:

and more moviegoing/dub thoughts below the cut!!

okay. i'm gonna be as organized as possible about this but i am probably gonna be all over the place and add to it later LMAO. BUT.

4dx thoughts first: jesus fuck lmao. i've never actually been to a 4d movie before and i feel like this experience is NOT representative of what a normal movie would be like but they really shook us around huh!!! i think those seats only stopped moving when kamina died, and i say "i think" bc there may have been more times when they stopped but my ass was unawares because i still felt like i was moving anyways LMAO.

they played an interview with imaishi, koyama, and wakabayashi (most likely filmed at anyc) before the showing (they did it before my dub showing too, even tho i just saw that one in a regular theater) and these mfs are so funny i swear lmao. they were like "we wanted to use the effects to their fullest so we added in movement during the emotional scenes too!" and then wakabayashi was like "i fell out of my seat while watching!" and then imaishi was like "my keys fell out of my pocket and i almost left them in the theater because they were between the seats" and then they laughed and THEN wakabayashi was like "oh wait they're watching gurren-hen right? nvm they'll be fine" but like. that shit felt like a ROLLERCOASTER so WTF IS LAGANN-HEN GONNA BE!!!!!!!!!! it made me so curious so now i also plan to see the sub of that one in 4dx LMAO. me when i literally die because the insane ppl at trigger decided to mimic a galaxy being thrown at a giant mecha and wanted me to feel it.

also. they sprayed us with water during the scene where gurren lagann's spiral energy feeds back and simon/lagann throw up. and like. i mean i can't say i ever WANTED to get vomited on by my fav anime boy, but it sure did happen!

okay. friend-who-hasn't-seen-ttgl-before-thoughts next: i was REALLY surprised how much it hooked him considering that i've always viewed the movies as subpar compared to the show but it REALLY sold him on it!!! and i'm so happy cause idk if he ever would've made it through those first 7 episodes of the show without knowing what was to come lmao. unfortunately he can't make it next week so we'll have to watch lagann-hen later on, as well as the show proper, but i'm SO curious to see what he thinks. especially bc the only complaint he rly had (aside from being violently shaken LMAO) was that simon, kamina, and yoko were really the only characters he could keep track of. like even nia didn't show up early enough for him to really track what was going on with her i think!!

when it comes to lagann-hen i am SO curious what he'll think of rossiu. cause rossiu's my other favorite anime boy but DAMN they really give him like two seconds of screen time total in this movie LMFAO. and THEY DON'T EVEN ESTABLISH THAT HE IS FOREHEAD BOY?????? like they play that scene where kamina's like "i wanna give simon and gimmy and darry and forehead boy a good future" and my friend was like "WHO?" lmao. i guess you're just supposed to see the size of his forehead and come to your own conclusions FDLKSJFHSLKJ. and i did tell my friend that rossiu is Important in lagann-hen but i'm so curious as to whether that whole plot point will actually. like. make sense? and if he can track why rossiu is all of a sudden In Charge and Like That? idk but i can't WAIT to see it. similarly though i do wonder what he'll think of kittan's sacrifice cause kittan got a nothingburger this movie too LMAO.

when it comes to the show i am AGAIN curious what he'll think of rossiu, like what he'll think going from a smaller role for him in the film to a larger role in the show. cause obviously i am -_- at the downsizing but rossiu adds SOOOOOOOOO much to the show on the whole that i wonder if having a different first impression will frame him as a character differently??? IDK!!!! and ALSO i am curious what my friend will think WHEN EXTRA BITCHES START DYING AT THE END LMAO. like it's one thing to do from all of dai-gurren dying to them all living, but from them all living to DYING?????? i'm SO CURIOUS. i feel like watching these movies with him has me appreciating them more in the same way that watching eva with friends made me appreciate eva more too. except i like ttgl a whole heck of a lot more to begin with, even the movies, so i think this might just kill me entirely LMAO.

NOW. ONTO THE DUB.

prefacing this section with Holy Fuck I Am So Glad This Exists I've Cried Over It And Could Cry More. the fact that i've wanted this so bad and it HAPPENED. do the impossible i suppose but i can still HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S REAL. and listening to every single second of it was just a complete and total joy and i wouldn't trade it for anything <3

and now that the sappy stuff is outta the way SAM RIEGEL THE VIRAL THAT YOU ARE!!!!!! he did the ABSOLUTE BEST IMO, he still captured the same voice he did in the show dub AND he managed to like, have a coherent new take on some of the scenes? like during his first or second confrontation with kamina he had this more bored tone that worked SO WELL for me because. yeah!!!! viral thinks humans are inferior at that point, so he WOULDN'T be giving this battle 100%!!!! excellent choices all around and whenever they release this on home video i am gonna listen to this performance for like a week straight.

other generally great stand-outs were LORDGENOME ofc and also dayakka was pretty great too!! they didn't have a whole lot of changes but they worked well in the OG so they ofc worked well here too!! oh and kittan and his sisters too!!! they didn't get as much to do but kittan's still got it and if i heard correctly they even got the same VAs for his sisters too? like stephanie sheh kinon doesn't surprise me bc she's still so active in the industry but kiyal especially sounded rly similar in her like. three lines LMAO.

i WAS actually rly curious abt if they would recast leeron into literally anyone other than "steve blum doing a ~gay voice~" and uh. they didn't lmao. but tbh i think it worked for me anyways; the movies cut out so much of the blatant homophobic jokes which is one super nice thing about them, and also they were SO diligent with getting the rest of the cast back that it makes sense he'd come back too? like i didn't expect DAYAKKA to return but it sure sounded like the same guy to me, let alone the bachika sisters and gimmy and darry, so i get why they kept blum too and it was fine in most parts imo

i really liked bridget hoffman nia too!! she didn't sound the same as hynden walch ofc but i think she gave a great performance and i think it'll be really beneficial to have this sort of continuity of voice going between pre- and post-skip nia.

my adai kiddos...........well jyb didn't have a whole lot of lines as rossiu so i don't have much to say other than i think he did fine with what he had LMAO, i'm SOOOOOO excited to hear him in lagann-hen though!!! especially towards the end, where rossiu's belief gives simon et al the strength they need to finish the battle and win, and also the "so many others like us out there" line....... i MAY burst into tears hearing that in a theater LMAO. also it threw me off when they pronounced darry's name as "dairy" SKLDJFH

YURI LOWENTHAL............oh honey you do not sound like a fourteen year old boy anymore LMAO. it really sounded like he was putting in the EFFORT to make his voice as high as preskip simon's is haha. but his performance was still fucking amazing, especially in the hot-blooded parts where it needed to be, and tbh it was kinda sweet that he sounds different now? like, it's a charming reminder that even if it took a while, enough people loved this story hard enough that the dub got made FIFTEEN YEARS LATER, and simply typing that is making me tear up LMAO so yeah i obviously didn't mind. can't fucking wait to hear him as adult simon tho, that may awaken something in me yet again >:)

aaaaaaaand yoko and kamina lmao. obviosuly these are the hardest to judge because they also, alongside simon, have the most lines? so there is more material to compare LMAO. and both of them certainly gave very different performances that i'm not quite sure how to feel about yet. like the acting itself was still amazing, but it was different and not like sam riegel's in a way that was so obviously elevated that i'm having a bit more trouble parsing my thoughts lmao. like my knee-jerk reaction is "different, so not the thing i love, so worse" but that's not true!!! that's not true at all, and i think i may just need to hear it a few more times for the new inflections and what not to gel with me lmao. though i will say, like literally everyone else, that i think michelle ruff was directed differently as yoko - you could tell there was more effort to make her voice more nasally, or to use her head voice in general, or to sound more cutesy/girly. and i PERSONALLY don't think that's the right choice for yoko, as she's got so much more going on with her gender than just being a cute girl, but this is not the place for that discussion LMAO. so they certainly weren't bad by any means, i think they might just need a few more watches to grow on me the same way the show performances have. or just to have more fleshed-out opinions! anyways, 4k uhd english dubbed bluray WHEN aniplex.

overall the differences were SUPER interesting to hear tho!!! like i'm not well-versed enough in dubbing as a product of the late 00's versus now, but i imagine it's partially changed as an art form and that led to some of the performance differences. in general it was really funny when they slightly changed the dialogue and the lip flaps and pauses wound up in different places!!

the imaishi koyama wakabayashi interview mentioned the same thing that they said at anyc, that they were hoping to make a show that could last ten years. and now 15 years later it's STILL loved enough to get a whole ass new dub and theatrical release. and i just. i'm gonna make myself cry again LMAO, i love this story so much and it's been such a great experience <3

#WHEW felt good to get that all out LMAO #i love u gurren lagann...........#a: ttgl #ttgl: films #t.ttgl

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twinkubus · 1 month

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rereading dungeon meshi and it is super activating my fantasy autism ^_^ also i gotta say manga translators are SO much better just on a base level than a lot of translated japanese novels i read. idk if it's JUST bc the manga only has to translate dialogue/similar or what but i feel like a lot of novel translators make clunky choices.

anyway 1) this is how i wish a lot of fantasy in "generic"-ish settings worked, ie, it rly thinks thru a lot of base assumptions about the world and then follows them through to substantial conclusions. so there's actually something behind it all instead of how most fantasy goes which just kind of takes cliches and doesn't bother to interrogate them so everything falls flat and is boring.

2) when i first was reading in 2017 a lot of the worldbuilding around necromancy/resurrection rly stood out to me so ive been collecting some snippets of that

3) its inspired me to want to write about Creatures and such & i rly like how strongly characterized everyone is

4) izutsumi plural...

#currently reading #none of these points are particularly interesting idt i just have to say something about it....#*_*

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kaiasky · 11 months

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you post like a gender fluid individual some days it's boy some days it's girl

wrt my tags here

yeah that about matches with my goals/perception. idk its like. theres a reason its a worst idea for an ask game.

not that im like offended by the ask (truly! thank you for the ask) or by being Percieved. because i think its kinda inevitable that u will get read in gendered ways. In particular i am aware that i voluntarily Inflict Gendered Readings Upon Myself (mayb in both directions ). but it feels weird or like. i am trying to trick people or something which is an uncomfortable feeling)

anyways. speaking of gendered presentation.s. in valorant (gamer; boyvoice) ive been liking trying out this new voice of like. a rly (abbreviation; girlvoice) flat affect. med-high larynx medium vocal fold mass (heat-from-fire dweeb; girlvoice) kill all timing/pitch/volume variations beyond what would even be normal for a masc voice speak as clearly as you can so it almost sounds unnatural (unreadable punctuation of sentences; boy?voice). even in stuff like 'you win these bro you're just better' (bro; boyvoice). and especially there's a thing i like where i say key words like three times 'rotate rotate rotate'. 'push in push in push in' (thinks repeating himself sounds cool; boyvoice) etc and it feels very authoritative in a way that shouting it feels really aggressive (doesn't like shouting; girlvoice) ive had a few people say they like my voice. anyways i quit the game again today to be experience real life irl so i guess its moot point. (despair; girlvoice) (long essay; girlvoice) (essay elides feelings in favor of abstract concepts; boyvoice)

the conclusion! however is obvious. i need to stop leaving the way people perceive me up to chance. i need to FINISH CHOOSING A FURSONA (finally) (will procrastinate)

#im a white cisgender-ish gnc man for the record #thank you for the ask!

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fiendpact · 5 months

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i finally finished bg3 for the first time and am now wondering what your thoughts are on the ending/epilogue.

i kind of got lucky because i romanced gale (which gave him and my tav exactly the ending i was hoping for) and my tav's best friends were wyll and karlach so their joint epilogue ending was cool as well. but beyond that, i feel a little empty :( i could say lae'zel also kind of got closure for me, but astarion just had to run off screaming because the sun hurts him now and the others didn't even say anything. the moment before you head out for battle where all your allies say one last thing about you honestly felt more emotional to me than the moment you last see your companions.

i think a little celebration at the end where you could talk to the characters one last time would be cool but i wish we at least got DAI-style narration over pictures, just to know how everyone is doing (and i feel like that wouldn't be too hard to make?). it's like i got ripped out of the story at its storm-like climax and not at the "clouds parted, sun out: we get to finally go to sleep without worries" ending i'm used to in pretty much all media. idk if it's just me though.

NO IT IS NOT JUST YOU…. man i had so much to say abt this when i first beat the game but apparently i put it NOWHERE except into my best friend’s brain. so lemme see what i can say.

i also got the karlach and wyll in avernus ending and i rly liked it, that felt like a solid ending. nicely wrapped up their quest lines. but that was rly it?? nothing happened with shadowheart, the only thing i remember is her commenting that we’d be seen as heroes in baldur’s gate if we stayed. i had to convince lae’zel not to run off on me because i didn’t free orpheus, and i was mostly satisfied with that bc it seems like it opened her up to truly find her own path in life. i fucked up gale’s bc i didn’t really process the mystra deal so i told him to leave that damn crown in the water, and he kinda went “i guess that’s for the best” and that was like, the end of it.

so chronologically i ‘finished’ gale, lae’zel, and shadowheart, and then i got the astarion scene where he runs off because of the sun before karlach and wyll’s final scene. my literal love interest was in so much sudden pain that he had to flee the scene, and i didn’t get a single dialogue option to respond with? nothing but one companion making a smart mouthed and/or indifferent comment? and i couldn’t go after him bc that was immediately followed up by karlach’s final scene (which only had wyll and halsin present, for some reason). yeah you could say i was unhappy LMAO and that’s not even to mention his actual epilogue which - spoilers - is maybe two minutes of dialogue in an unknown location that doesn’t even discuss his hasty exit and feels barely more than a chat between friends. and now even THAT’S bugged 😭

anyway i think you’re so so right, i absolutely think we needed a final companion get together like in dai. they literally in the end dialogues talk about going to a tavern or something and i think had we gotten that instead of the disjointed scene on the shoreline it could’ve felt more conclusive and satisfying, bc it did feel very abrupt overall

also i think there was actually meant to be epilogue slides at some point? that could be a rumor though idk but that would’ve been nice too bc as it stands the only companions that i have any knowledge about post-game are astarion, wyll, and karlach. three out of nine people i had recruited. it’s weird! it’s disappointing! i came out of my first time beating the game mostly underwhelmed because act three felt so messy to get through and there wasn’t much of a payoff. i definitely see why so many people don’t finish act three…

anyway i’m typing all this in a car rn so i hope it makes sense but tldr you are not alone!! the ending/epilogue was largely unsatisfying for me as well 😔

#ty for giving me an excuse to talk abt this lol i can’t believe i never did…#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #anon #asks

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suzakushimon · 6 months

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Thoughts on Jing Liu quest?

AHAHAHAHA (negative connotation)

u came to the right person anon, i have a lot to say...

IT WASNT THAT GREAT..... at first i spent a whole night convincing myself it was a reasonable way for the story to go but they did dan heng WAY too dirty. idk why luofu writing is so SHIT but if the current scandal is true and an employee rly has been messing w the story just to mess w the female fans, it explains a lot 💀

there were parts i liked: the art + the fight scene was a banger + how jingliu points out dan heng fights exactly like dan feng. it emphasizes how, whether he likes it or not, there are some things dh has inherited from df and he cant escape that. his appearance, his spear, his bracer, the ribbon, his vidyadhara powers, etc etc... if it wasnt for df, dh wouldnt be who he is today-- thats the truth, and its something dh can grow to accept.

but holy FUCK. the way they handled everything else. dan heng's memories. jingliu's introduction and her motives. blade's characterization. THE PLOTHOLES. just....ITS KINDA ALL WRONG!!!!!

IN MY OPINION. dan heng's whole POINT is that he doesnt remember his past life/his "past". he considers those memories as "not his", and asserts himself as his own individual person without them. its IMPORTANT he doesnt remember anything + that he doesnt NEED to bc this way he contrasts march 7th and the trailblazer, who also dont have their past memories-- but those 2 WANT to remember, are actively trying to, and they DO consider their past memories/past life as part of "themselves". whereas dan heng runs from his past and tries to find his "true self" without it, march and trailblazer run towards theirs, trying to catch glimpses of their "true selves" through it.

SO THERE'S LITERALLY NO REASON HE HAS TO REMEMBER DAN FENG'S PAST. it completely messes up his character arc/the message his character is trying to send!! they backpedaled so hard on their stance towards dan heng... first it was "only u can determine who u are, no one else; the expectations others hold for u dont matter" and now its "u are him no matter what u do, these sins are yours". like WHAT???? jingliu's quest just made more people equate dan heng with dan feng when the story is SUPPOSED to emphasize that they r DIFFERENT PEOPLE💀💀💀💀

dan heng did decide to face dan feng's sins, but he's NOT a part of the quintet. he's a WHOLE NEW PERSON. so why was he invited as a part of the quintet, but bailu wasn't?? its like theyre saying bailu is a whole new person, but dan heng is still dan feng, WHICH GOES AGAINST HIS CHARACTER THEMES(i am silenced and forced to sit down) anyways imo if bailu didn't have to attend the worlds worst high school reunion, dan heng shouldn't have had to attend either!!!! THIS AINT HIS PROBLEM. DAN HENG GET BEHIND ME!!!!!!!!!

his convo with blade at the end was so ooc it killed me. like, a little walk with his past life's old friend, and suddenly he's willing to forgive blade's literal years of stalking and attacking him??? now hes willing to play along with the vengeance he spent his whole life insisting was directed at the wrong person???????? i only chose that option bc the one on top sounded so wimpy/out of place it also felt ooc to me 💀 he wouldnt show weakness to blade, but there's no way he'd be that accepting either. maybe 3 years later and x patches in, but not NOW...

and jingliu. ooooh girlie. JINGLIU. THEY DID HER SOOOO FUCKING DIRTY. she's a new character. casuals/people who dont dig through lore don't know anything abt her except that shes jingyuans teacher. so why is her INTRODUCTION a fucking CONCLUSION TO HER CHARACTER ARC???? shes already DONE wandering and finding an answer in her heart. shes already DONE deciding whether or not to keep running or face her past. now shes mourning for a PERSON WE DONT EVEN KNOW. we watch her get closure for her dead girlfriend. BUT SO WHAT??? WE DONT EVEN KNOW EITHER OF THEM!!! SEEING HER GET CLOSURE MEANS NOTHING TO US. ITS JUST AWKWARD. why was her INTRO her fucking CHARACTER ARC'S CONCLUSION!!!!!!! they should've made her quest like luocha's, where all we did was speculate and her real motives remained a mystery. then we couldve been spared from this shitfest!!!!

the difference in quality between belobog story and luofu story is insane!!!! like, just compare luka's quest to jinglius....hello??? its crazy how unsympathetic they made her. it was literally "tell not show" instead of "show not tell".

anyways im just upset at dan heng's treatment. like, this character has a clear message/direction they were going for, but jinglius quest kind of stomps all over it, and her quest was supposed to introduce her but her introduction flopped hard. she was so much cooler when we saw her during yanqings quest and she was half insane. its awkward to mourn for someone we dont even know and its awkward to watch someone we dont know mourn. and, ngl, it rly felt like they only added dan heng in there bc they want more ppl to care abt the quintet. that whole quest couldve been through jingliu's pov where the reunion only happened between blade, jingliu, and jingyuan, so why wasn't it??? as opposed to those three, dan heng already moved on from the past. it was awkward for dan heng and for the audience💀

tldr i had high expectations bc i thought hoyo cared abt the quintet but not only did it flop it also dragged dan heng's characterization through the mud

#my mumbles #as a dan heng stan. they fuking STAINED HIS NAME #ok im prob gonna stop editing this. so its the final ver LOL

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