#anyway appreciate this i only got to do it bc i go to school late today

[possibilistfanfiction]

for surgeons au.,, perhaps some hurt/comfort :,)

[hbd @gohandinhand. sorry but tbf... u asked for this lol (also so many of you asked for 'what if bea gets hurt' bc we all share one collective grey's anatomy-ass braincell // also on ao3]

//

‘dr. silva is still in the tumor resection?’

it’s only, like, your fifth week being a doctor, so there are so many things you don’t know all the time; you add dr. villaumbrosia asking this question to the list. still, she’s kind of the scariest person you’ve ever met in your life — unflappable and a little mean to everyone but her patients and their families, talented and whip-smart beyond belief, willing to take on the hardest cases — and so you answer anyway with a nod. you only know this because zaire promised he would come find you just after he’d finished with dr. silva — to celebrate at the bar down the street and hopefully more than that too — but you don’t add that; you don’t think dr. villaumbrosia would appreciate it all that much.

‘okay,’ she says, more shaken than you’ve ever seen her.

‘is something… did something go wrong, or?’

‘with ava’s surgery, no, i don’t think so.’ 

ava is new; you’re not embarrassed to admit that you and basically your whole intern class has been keeping track of who’s with whom amongst the attendings, so you know they’re all either dating or friends or some kind of family. still, dr. villaumbrosia never uses first names at work. 

‘there’s a trauma being flown in,’ she continues. ‘there was an avalanche, and dr. choi was skiing in the backcountry today. i don’t — i don’t know more details.’ she worries her hands for a moment. ‘she hasn’t answered her sat phone.’

‘oh,’ is the best you’ve got, disarmed by the obvious fear that lingers around every inch of her.

‘dr. silva can’t know, if she does come in. not until after he’s finished the hardest part of the procedure and can pass it off.’

not that you were going to be the one to randomly decide to go to dr. silva’s OR and say any of this, but you nod. ‘of course.’

‘i need you to go check on tai; she’s in daycare.’

‘uh, i don’t — i’ve never —‘

dr. villaumbrosia waves you off. ‘she’s cute. looks like choi, acts like silva.’ 

when you don’t respond immediately, dr. villaumbrosia just glares. ‘yeah, of course,’ you hurry to say.

‘and then i need you to go to the ER for the trauma. dr. masters already knows you’re coming; you’re going to see what’s going on and tell me and no one else. got it?’

‘yes, dr. villaumbrosia. will do.’

‘great.’

to be honest, you have no idea where the daycare even is, and this certainly isn’t what you went to a bazillion years of school for, but whatever. maybe this will get you on dr. villaumbrosia’s good side. 

‘and dr. al-najjar?’

you nod.

‘i know this seems ridiculous. but dr. choi is — she’s my favorite person. it’s important.’

you understand in your own way: you facetime your little brother every day, no matter how tired you are, no matter how late or early it is for you. ‘i’ll tell you everything as soon as i can.’

‘good.’

/

tai is, apparently, a fourteen month old, very cute toddler, who really does look like dr. choi. when you explain, very briefly, to one of the daycare teacher that dr. villaumbrosia sent you to see how she’s doing, make sure she’s okay, she nods and shows you over to an area of the room with soft mats and some wooden blocks. tai smiles at you, all baby teeth and big cheeks, and says mostly nonsense but a few words — blocks, doctor, mama — and then promptly knocks over her block tower with definite glee. 

you snap a nice, cute picture of tai smiling in her little giraffe hoodie and send it off to dr. villaumbrosia. you’ve never been a baby guy, and you’re certain she isn’t either, because there’s no way you could ever possibly choose her specialty if you were, but she loves the photo anyway — the first and only time she’ll ever respond to a text from you like that, you’re absolutely certain — and it makes you smile, just for a moment. when you wave goodbye to tai she laughs, and you hope, very concretely, that she goes home with both of her parents tonight, or soon, at least, that her family stays as full and happy and warm as it had been this morning.

/

you feel genuinely nervous and way too invested: you’ve met dr. choi in passing a handful of times, and she’d assisted on one of dr. villaumbrosia’s surgeries once that you’d gotten to hold a retractor for, but according to emma — the best gossip and also dr. choi’s favorite intern, allegedly — says that dr. choi is kind and quiet and a wonderful teacher, patient and skilled and efficient. you’d been looking forward to being on her service soon, honestly, and, even in the past few weeks, you’re starting to understand that the people here, that you spend so much time with, are starting to feel like family.

dr. masters nods at you, her braids already tucked away beneath a cap, trauma gown on. you’re on peds, so you don’t know if you’re really here to help with anything — dr. villaumbrosia wasn’t called down for any consults, still set for the routine bowel repair she’d been scheduled for this afternoon, so you’re fairly certain there weren’t any children coming in — but she gestures toward the gown and gloves anyway.

‘just in case we need more hands on deck,’ she says as way of explanation. ‘there’s four people, and we don’t really know the extent of their injuries.’

you nod — what else is there to say — and things are very, very still until dr. masters gets a page and then everything is moving — loudly, organized, seamless — and you’re in awe, for a moment, of dr. masters’ ER. you love trauma surgery and she’s, like, kind of the biggest badass in the country, and it’s pretty fucking cool to watch her very quickly get everyone exactly where they need to be in the amount of time it takes for her to walk to the elevator that leads up to the helipad.

the wind whips from the blades when the doors open, rainy and miserable, and your heart is caught in your throat when the door opens. you see dr. masters’ hands shake, although you’d never, ever mention it, locked behind her back in tight fists, until dr. choi’s face — a bruise along her jaw, a scrape that runs underneath her eye, all the way into her hair, the tip of her nose and the tips of her ears a painful red, probably from frostbite — comes into view.

dr. choi, strapped into a stretcher, covered in a blanket and hooked up to an IV, immediately starts talking, before the stretcher is even fully out of the helicopter. ‘the three coming out,’ she starts, ‘i dug them out as much as i could. i did an emergency thoracostomy on david, you need to push a ton of antibiotics. anna needs to go to the OR immediately for her pelvis, make sure cam —‘

‘—beatrice,’ dr. masters says, rushing to her side and, if you were to bet, wanting to sink to her knees in relief. ‘oh my god.’

‘i’m fine,’ dr. choi says, annoyed at being made to stay on the stretcher. ‘i properly deployed my avalanche airbag. but mary, listen —‘

dr. masters holds dr. choi’s face in her hands and then kisses the top of dr. choi’s head. it’s tender, and you wonder how long they’ve known each other to afford that level of intimacy, that level of care. ‘i got them, bea. i promise. we gotta take care of you too or ava will kill me.’

dr. choi relaxes, just minutely, but you can tell — maybe because you would trust dr. masters with your life or anyone else’s, maybe at the mention of dr. silva, maybe some combination of both — and she nods.

dr. masters rolls her eyes and kisses the top of dr. choi’s head once more. ‘stupid hero. let me go make all your hard work worthwhile.’

dr. choi smiles, definitely reassured now. ‘you better.’

/

you’re not surprised, exactly, that chief superion is waiting to take over dr. choi’s care, but you are a little surprised when dr. superion squeezes her shoulder gently and smiles, a little sad. 

‘ava is still in surgery, so let’s get the worst of it taken care of before she’s done, yes?’

dr. choi nods, growing more exhausted by the minute. which is fair, you think, as she tells dr. superion — and you, because you’re stuck in this room until you have a real report for dr. villaumbrosia beyond the text you’d sent that just said Dr. Choi is talking and moving, no head or neck injuries — about how the avalanche airbag had worked, even if it was frightening; about how her transceiver, according to SAR, had helped them get there faster than they would have otherwise.  

‘ava always teased me about how expensive the gear was, but look who’s laughing now.’

‘well, to be fair,’ dr. superion says, looking at dr. choi’s x-rays, ‘i don’t think either of you are laughing.’ 

‘oh, yikes,’ dr. choi says, looking at the films too. she’s on a fair amount of pain medicine at this point, but she’s right: there’s a few nasty fractures along the bones in her left wrist. but, other than those and a few cracked ribs and some mild frostbite on her nose, ears, and the tips of her fingers, it seems like it’s just cuts and bruises: nothing she won’t heal from, and far better off than the others who came in with her.

‘i, uh — sorry,’ you say, feeling like you’re interrupting, but they both just shake their heads, waving off your apology. ‘dr. villaumbrosia sent me to see if you’re okay, and i’m supposed to go talk to her once i know. which, i guess i know now.’ not your best work, and in front of the chief, but oh well.

dr. choi smiles fondly. ‘thank you for telling me. i’ll never let lilith forget it.’ 

dr. superion doesn’t smile, but it seems like she wants to. ‘go ahead, dr. al-najjar. you can tell her that we’re admitting dr. choi to ortho; dr. alvarez will operate tomorrow, once the swelling has gone down.’

‘and tell lilith i love her too.’

‘i — uh—‘

dr. superion laughs. ‘go, dr. al-najjar.’

/

you’ve just finished your report to dr. villaumbrosia — in the middle of a surgery, but it’s clear her shoulders relax immediately, continuing to operate smoothly — when dr. silva flings open the door of the OR.

‘hello ava,’ dr. villaumbrosia says, not even looking up from the stitch she’s putting in. ‘she’s okay.’

dr. silva, breathing so hard her mask is getting sucked into her mouth and nose, doubles over, her hands on her knees. ‘i gotta do more cardio, oh my god,’ he mumbles, then takes a deep breath and stands. ‘you’re sure?’

‘yes,’ dr. villaumbrosia, ‘i had dr. al-najjar make sure personally. he also checked on tai; she’s doing great.’

‘very cute,’ you say and then debate just quitting residency here altogether, but dr. silva smiles at you.

‘thanks man,’ she says. ‘sorry you missed this surgery.’

‘the bowel was perforated,’ dr. villaumbrosia says. ‘it was quite disgusting, to be honest.’

‘well then,’ dr. silva says, ‘hey, you’re welcome! you got to see my adorable kid and my sexy wife. who, as lovely as your company always is, lil, i’m gonna go see now.’

‘she deployed that avalanche airbag, dug three other people out, and did a field chest tube by the time SAR got there.’ 

‘hot.’

‘insane, actually,’ dr. villaumbrosia says. ‘but give her my love.’

/

two days later you’re back on shift — after drinks and truly, genuinely great sex with zaire that still ended up happening despite everything, god bless — and you swing by ortho before you go up to peds. you’re not friends with dr. choi or dr. silva, but you do want to see how things are going anyway. your mom always says it’s better to be kinder than necessary, and you’re starting to believe it.

they’re an adorable family, you think, tai showing dr. choi her lion stuffy and babbling excitedly, sitting on the hospital bed between her legs, turning every now and then toward dr. silva in a chair by her bedside. dr. choi, her arm in a brace and a sling, looks pretty good overall: her eyes seem clear, the bruises along her jaw are already starting to turn green and yellow, a great sign of healing, and the redness on her nose and ears has lessened considerably. 

also, she’s sitting up and talking animatedly, clearly happy with her daughter and her wife there. from her chart — you looked it up in the system before you came, whatever — you’re pretty sure she’s going to get to go home today, which you suspect is what the small duffle bag by dr. silva’s feet is for. 

‘all i’m saying,’ you hear from dr. silva, ’is that your nose could’ve fallen off.’

‘ava,’ dr. choi says, exasperated and laughing.

dr. silva sits back and pouts, exaggerating with crossed arms. 

‘i will be more careful,’ dr. choi concedes, but it doesn’t feel much like a concession the way she smiles at tai and then runs a gentle hand over her wispy hair. emma — who is an incredible gossip but you’re starting to think she also just has a giant crush — had told you and zaire that dr. choi is, like, an experienced outdoors person with certifications in all kinds of different safety courses and activities; you know she and dr. villaumbrosia have done stints with MSF together too. 

‘good,’ dr. silva says. ‘because lord knows i cannot raise tai by myself.’

dr. choi frowns, then offers her good hand to dr. silva, who scoots closer and takes it with a kiss to her scraped knuckles. 

‘plus, while i would deal, obviously, you’d probably be less hot if your nose fell off.’

‘“probably”?’

dr. silva shrugs. ‘i love you.’

‘i love you too.’

‘would you still love me if my nose fell off?’

‘ava.’

/

‘good morning, dr. al-najjar,’ dr. choi says when you knock lightly on the open door of her office. it’s impeccably neat, a few pictures of dr. silva and tai on her desk. she’s wearing the brace on her wrist still but no sling; her bruises and frostbite have faded. in her scrubs and white coat and clogs, a fresh buzzcut and a cup of coffee in her good hand, she looks exactly the surgeon you’ve looked forward to working with. 

‘good morning, dr. choi. welcome back.’

she smiles and closes her office door, starts leading you down the hall. ‘thank you. and, apologizes in advance that you won’t have any surgeries with me for the next two weeks until i’m officially cleared.’ she rolls her eyes. 

‘that’s okay,’ you say. ‘more sleep, honestly.’

‘true. and,’ she says, opening a door to the most incredible, brand new lab you’ve ever seen, ‘i can promise that the research we’ll get to work on will be worth it.’

‘i always thought i would go into trauma,’ you tell her, ‘but i think i just fell in love.’

she grins. ‘the heart wants what it wants.’

you pause a moment but then you can’t help yourself: you laugh.

‘in that case,’ she says, ‘let me show you around, and let’s get to work.’

#wn #wn fic #avatrice #avatrice fic #surgeons au #this is not nearly as angsty as it could've been! ur welcome! #butch bea 🥺🫡 #am i making up interns as i go?? why not i love to spiral! lmfao #also the real hardest part of this was spelling lilith's fucking long ass last name jesus christ

[helloalycia]

𝐕𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 [𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄] — 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑

summary: when Jackie surprises you with a kiss, you're excited at the possibility of what it could mean, only to discover she's got back together with her boyfriend the next day.

warning/s: implied internalised homophobia i suppose?

author's note: and here’s the third and final part - i hope you liked this one, loved writing for jackie 🥰 i have amother jackie one done and another in the works bc apparently i was super inspired recently lol, and i’ve also got some other stuff in progress. But the next thing I post is gonna be an alycia debnam carey imagine (gotta stick to my roots haha)

one / two / masterlist / wattpad

I groaned inwardly as I looked all around the darkroom, my locker and my school bag for my lens cap, but I just couldn't seem to find it. That's when I wondered if it could be in the bleachers on the soccer pitch – maybe it fell out of my pocket when I was shooting recently.

Like the lazy girl I was, I went outside with tunnel vision, immediately searching the bleachers for my lens cap, but I still couldn't find it. As I paused, looking up for a moment to think, I realised someone was on the pitch, and upon closer inspection at the waving figure, I realised it was Jackie. Huh.

When I climbed down from the bleachers, she jogged over to me with a confused expression, but smiling nonetheless.

"What are you doing here?" she asked breathlessly, a little sweaty from practice, and it was annoying because she still managed to look good.

"I lost my lens cap for my camera," I said with a sigh. "The last place I remember having it is here."

Her fingers played with her bottom lip as she glanced around. "Oh. That's annoying. Erm..."

"It's fine," I said, not wanting her to worry herself over it when it was my problem. "I'm just having a look around, but I don't think it's here. Might pick up a new one from the camera store. Anyway, what are you doing out here? Where's the team?"

At this, she rested her hands on her hips. "No practice on today, but I wanted to have some me time. Thought I'd put in some extra practice. I've finished now anyway."

I quirked a brow. "Isn't Shauna usually your lift? How you getting home?"

"Shauna is helping her parents with something," she said, before flashing me her signature smirk. "I was planning to flirt with some sophomores and get a ride."

I laughed, shaking my head. "Of course you were."

She winked playfully and, though I didn't doubt she could find some desperate sophomore to give her a ride, I couldn't just let her do that. Besides, it seemed she was getting lifts off me a lot lately, so what was one more to add to the list?

"I'm done in the dark room if you need a ride," I offered.

"Oh, I wasn't hinting at anything," she said, giving me a genuine smile, but I shook my head.

"I know, but still. I don't mind."

Appreciative, she nodded. "Thanks. Do I have time to shower?"

"You have all the time in world, darling," I said as I looked around. "I am still yet to find my lens cap."

She stifled a chuckle. "Good luck with that. I'll go clean up. Meet you at your car?"

I hummed in agreement, already mentally retracing my steps with my camera, and she left me to it. After spending half an hour more searching all around for my lens cap, I finally gave up and went to sulk in my car. It wasn't actually a big deal, especially because I could just buy a new one after dropping Jackie off, but it was the inconvenience of it all.

Not long after I got in my car, Jackie joined me, tossing her backpack in the backseat before sliding into the passenger's seat. Looking refreshed, she shot me a smile.

"So, where to?" she asked, pulling her seatbelt on.

"Your house?" I replied, thinking it was obvious.

"But I thought you wanted to get your lens cap from the store," she said with confusion. "Oh, wait, did you find it?"

As I started the car, I said, "I didn't, but it's fine. I can drop you off home."

"I don't mind going," she said, leaning her elbow on the door. "It's on the way anyway."

"You sure?"

She hummed in agreement, so I drove us straight to the camera store, knowing I wouldn't be long. Luckily, it was still open for the day, and when we headed inside, she immediately began to wander around the small store, intrigued by the cameras on display.

I began to talk to the shopkeeper about my lens size and what camera I had, hoping he had a replacement cap I could buy, and then he left to have a look in the back.

"Y/N, there's a photo booth!" Jackie suddenly called as I was waiting for the shopkeeper to return.

"Yep," I acknowledged, having seen it a million times so not sure what the hype was.

"We have to use it, c'mon!" she pleaded, already grabbing my hand.

I rolled my eyes, having gotten used to Jackie so much that I knew to just go with the flow at this point. She was grinning as she looked at the button and money slot.

"It's fifty cents," she realised, before elbowing me in the gut as she rushed to find some coins in her pocket. Eventually she pulled out a quarter and looked at me. "You got another quarter?"

"I guess? I don't–"

"Look!" she encouraged, and I grumbled to myself as I dug around in my own pocket, managing to pull out a quarter. Before I could even offer it her, she grabbed it from my hand and put both of them in the machine.

After fiddling around, a manual timer ticked to signal the first photo was going to be taken, so Jackie moved closer to me to fit in the lens.

"Smile!" she said, and I had no choice but to listen.

The photo was taken and, just as quickly, the next timer was going off.

"Funny face!" she instructed immediately, before pulling one of her own.

I rushed to stick out my tongue, managing to do bunny ears behind her head without realising, and then the final timer was ticking.

"Okay, a kiss on the cheek for the grand finale," she said with amusement, and because we'd been so rushed up until now, I didn't really think to question who was kissing who.

As the last tick went off before the photo, I turned to kiss her cheek, but she must have done the same, because for a brief moment, our lips touched and then the photo was taken. Embarrassed, I quickly pulled away, as did she.

"Sorry," we both blurted at the same time, and suddenly this photo booth felt too small.

"Y/N?" the shopkeeper called, and I was grateful for the interruption as I stepped out the photo booth and saw he was back at the counter. "Got your lens cap. This should fit like a glove."

I swallowed thickly as I approached the counter, acutely aware of Jackie stood behind me, looking as awkward as I felt. After paying the shopkeeper, the two of us left and returned to the car.

"Er, did you want the photos or–" Jackie started to ask when we got in the car, holding the strip that the machine gave her.

"It's okay, you really wanted them," I said quickly, before distracting myself with starting the car.

To say the car ride home was awkward was an understatement, even with the radio filling the silence. I wasn't sure why, since we both knew the poor attempt of a kiss was an accident, but my fear was that I'd made her feel uncomfortable. It was the last thing I'd wanted, but I couldn't bring myself to speak, and neither could she.

I barely got chance to put my parking brake on when she got out the car and avoided my eyes.

"Thanks for the ride," she muttered, before walking up the long path to her mansion of a home.

I would have left it there, but it felt wrong to, and then I noticed she'd left her backpack in the backseat, so I called her from the open window and grabbed the bag. Jumping out the car, I jogged to meet her halfway, glad she'd stopped.

"You forgot your bag," I said, holding it out to her, and she accepted it, expressionless but staring holes into my face.

Knowing I couldn't leave it like this, I started, "Jackie, what's–"

But she cut me off instantly – and to my surprise – with a kiss. I stumbled back as she grabbed my face, kissing me with such intensity that it took me a second to realise that Jackie fucking Taylor was kissing me. And she was really good at it.

I closed my eyes, reciprocating the kiss, breathing in every part of her floral perfume, tasting every bit of her strawberry lipgloss. There was a second where we paused to take in a breath, but she closed it just as quickly, desperate and sudden and surprising.

Finally she pulled back, and then as if realising what she'd done, her hands let go of my face and she avoided eye contact like I'd make her go blind.

"Thanks," she said awkwardly, before spinning around and speed walking to her front door.

"Wait, Jackie–!"

But she fumbled for her keys and was already at her front door, not bothering to turn around. I swallowed hard, my lips still tingling from the sensation of hers, and went back to my car. Did that really just happen?

All night I was thinking about it, replaying the afternoon in my mind. She'd made me question a lot about my feelings for her in the past, and at one point, I was certain I was just projecting onto her – maybe that flirting was just who she was? But no, it had to be real, because she'd just made out with me on her own accord, and I liked it. I'd liked her, sure, but she'd always been unattainable to me for obvious reasons.

Well, until now.

The next day at school, I was hoping I could talk to Jackie about everything properly, maybe get some clarification on what she was thinking. So, you can imagine my surprise when I walked past her in the hall and saw her standing with Jeff, her supposed-to-be ex-boyfriend, leaning on his shoulder as he had an arm wrapped around her.

As soon as I saw them together, my heart dropped, the surprise easily replaced by humiliation. God, how could I have ever thought Jackie Taylor and I could be a thing? Was I stupid?

Turning to walk a different way, I fought back the urge to cry, feeling used and stupid and like an absolute fool for thinking yesterday was anything special.

"Hey, Y/N, wait," Jackie suddenly called, and then she stopped before me with apologetic eyes. "I didn't–"

"So you're back with Jeff, huh?" I got straight to the point, glaring at her.

She avoided my eyes and nodded weakly.

I scoffed, feeling much better hiding behind my anger than my sadness. "Why did you even do it, Jackie? Why d'you kiss me?"

She frowned. "I don't know."

The longer she avoided my stare, the more upset I became. How dare she do all of this, make me fall for her, force herself into my life, only to throw it back in my face.

"Just wanted to test it out?" I muttered bitterly. "Kissing a girl?"

She winced. "No, it wasn't like that."

"Then what?" I asked, searching her expression for a clue, but she refused to answer, either not having the words or not wanting to upset me anymore. Too late for that. "You should figure your shit out," I said harshly. "And don't speak to me again."

Finally, she looked up, but I was already leaving, ignoring when she called my name. I should've known she'd go back to him, she always did.

Fuck Jackie Taylor.

It was impossible to avoid her and Jeff over the next few days, since they were in a lot of my classes and always on the way to my locker, but I tried my darn best to.

Unfortunately for me, I was out grocery shopping with my mum when I spotted a familiar blonde head of hair further down the aisle from us, standing with her best friend. I was hoping if we stayed put long enough, they'd just keep going and we wouldn't bump into them, but my mum, who was oblivious to our falling out, spotted Jackie instantly.

"Oh, Y/N, your friend is here," she pointed out, and before I could tell her to keep it down, she started to call out Jackie's name, earning her attention.

"Mum, no!" I whisper-shouted, but it was too late because Jackie and Shauna were already approaching us.

I considered walking away, finding somewhere else to busy myself, but my mum would have just found a reason to make it a big deal, so I stayed put and kept quiet.

"Hey, Y/M/N," Jackie greeted my mum in her usual chirpy voice, before I felt her looking at me. "Hey, Y/N."

I ignored her, suddenly interested by the handlebar of the trolley.

"Jackie, it's so great to see you again," my mum said, genuinely happy to chat with her, since the soccer player had made quite the impression on her. "And your friend, it's Shauna, right?"

"It is, it's great to meet you," Shauna greeted her kindly before shooting me a smile. "Hey, Y/N."

"Hey," I mumbled, giving her a quick smile before looking at the bananas on display.

"You know, it's a good thing I bumped into you," my mum said to them, particularly Jackie. "I wanted to thank you again for your help at the fundraiser! We raised over five thousand dollars!"

"That's amazing," Jackie said with disbelief. "I didn't know."

At this, my mum glanced at me questioningly. "Didn't you tell her, hon?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Must've forgotten."

"Oh, Y/N," my mum scolded lightheartedly as Jackie looked away uncomfortably.

She continued to talk the girls' ears off before finally realising she was holding everyone up and saying her goodbyes. Taking the trolley from me, she began to push it forward and I was about to follow, but Jackie suddenly grabbed my arm.

"Y/N–"

I pulled my arm from her grasp, not bothering to meet her gaze. "Don't you have a soccer game to practice for or something?"

She didn't reply, and I rejoined my mum's side, remaining quiet for the rest of the trip. Why couldn't Jackie just leave me alone?

I was making notes in my English workbook as the teacher continued to explain the variations and development of children's language AKA the topic of our next assignment.

"...and I think that, just like children, students like Jackie Taylor can't seem to focus when they're supposed to be," Mr. Collins suddenly said, pulling me from my focus. "Miss Taylor, is there something particularly fascinating about the back of Miss Y/L/N's head?"

A few students giggled to themselves as I flushed with embarrassment, too afraid to turn around to see what he was talking about, though it was pretty self explanatory.

Jackie cleared her throat, embarrassed. "Of course not, sir. Sorry. Continue."

"Thank you," he said sarcastically, before continuing to read through his presentation, but my face was still flaming and I was unable to focus for the rest of class now, aware of the hazel eyes staring a hole in my back.

God, she was seriously not helping with this whole getting over her thing.

About a week after the whole Jackie thing, I unfortunately couldn't seem to avoid her forever as I had to take photos at the Yellowjackets' away game. I told myself I'd just do my job and be gone to avoid any awkwardness, but of course, that couldn't happen.

The game happened to be at East Rutherford High which wasn't a big deal, but as I was setting up my camera on the side of the pitch before the game, Olivia found me.

"Y/N, hey!" she called, and I turned around before remembering she went here.

"Liv, hey," I said with a smile, before hugging her. "I totally forgot you go here. Big soccer fan?"

She chuckled. "Not really. But my friends are so I said I'd come watch. Don't know why we bother though, the Yellowjackets always kick our arses."

I tried not to laugh because it was true. "Way to support your team."

"As a school, we've kind of accepted our defeat," she joked, before nodding to my camera. "You're taking photos for the paper, right?"

I nodded, letting my camera hang from my neck. "That's right."

"Your photos are always so good," she complimented, and I was surprised she'd seen them, so she clarified, "Sometimes our school paper look at examples of nearby schools and whenever they show us yours, I always see your photographs."

I smiled with embarrassment, though touched that she'd noticed. "Thanks, Liv, that means a lot."

She shrugged. "Just stating the truth." She paused, glancing out at the pitch as the players started to file out. "Surprised your friend, Jackie, isn't here. Didn't think she'd like me talking to you."

At this, I grew embarrassed for a different reason. "Yeah, look, I'm sorry if she was standoffish with you last time. I didn't–"

"I'm teasing," she assured me, trying not to laugh. "But it's all good. I should go find my seat anyway."

I sighed, nodding, and she smiled sweetly at me before leaving. Rubbing my face, I tried to push any thoughts of the soccer captain out of my head, hating that she was still being mentioned even when she wasn't here.

Instead, I focused my efforts on photographing the game, actually quite enjoying that it was an evening match so the lowlight gave me something to practice with. During half time, Olivia stopped by again and I welcomed it, enjoying getting to know her a little more. She was actually really chill to hang out with, but Jackie's words were still in my head about her 'textbook flirting'. Either way, Olivia was fun.

It was a given that the Yellowjackets would win, and after the game ended and I snapped some celebratory pictures, I moved to the side of the pitch to pack up my things. Olivia approached me again and I smiled.

"Great game, huh?" she said with amusement.

"Always is when the Yellowjackets play," I said playfully, and she raised her brows with mock disbelief.

"Wow, you're already starting the soccer war? That's low, Y/N," she said, making me laugh.

"Gotta support the home team," I said with a shrug. "Especially when they're that good."

She rolled her eyes, suppressing her smile. "Yeah, yeah..." As I shouldered my camera bag, she asked, "You heading off now?"

"That's the plan," I said with a tired sigh. "Why? Aren't you?"

She locked eyes with me, smiling softly. "I was going to ask if you're free to hang right now. Could grab some food or something?"

"Oh," I said, realising she was asking me out. "I– erm–"

It sounded fun, and why couldn't I enjoy a dinner with a cute girl? Smile forming on my lips, I was about to agree, but then the devil's spawn herself decided to appear.

"There you are," Jackie said, looking to me, either oblivious to my annoyance or choosing to ignore it.

"Didn't take long," Olivia mumbled to herself, but I heard it. Clearing her throat, she said to me, "I'm gonna guess you're busy tonight?"

"Oh, there's an after game party," Jackie answered for me, making me clench my jaw. "Kind of a tradition."

Olivia forced a smile. "Right."

"I never go anyway," I said quickly, earning her attention, and receiving a glare from Jackie who I so desperately wished would leave. "I can–"

"The others are asking if you'll go tonight actually," Jackie interrupted, flashing a sickly sweet smile at me.

If looks could kill, she'd be toast right now. Who the hell did she think she was to step in right now? She'd shown me how she felt – she didn't have a right to do this.

"Never mind," Olivia said, already backing up. "Enjoy."

Losing my glare, I looked to Olivia, ready to apologise, but she'd already walked off to join her friends and I knew I'd only make it worse.

"Huh, I was right," Jackie mumbled to herself, which reminded me she was still standing there and very much the reason Olivia hated me now.

"What the hell d'you do that for?!" I shouted at her.

She raised her brows, feigning confusion. "Do what?"

I clenched my fists with frustration. "No! You don't just get to do that!"

She shook her head. "What?"

I scowled, looking between her eyes with annoyance. "Care. You led me on. Used me as– I don't even know what! Some sort of rebound? An experiment? Either way, it was horrible, and now you don't get to just come in and stop me from accepting dates. You're nothing to me, Jackie."

As I spoke, she began to frown, only serving to piss me off further. How could she act like the victim right now? I was the one who'd been played!

"I didn't use you," she said weakly, but I could only step back and fix her with a glare.

"Leave me alone," I warned her once more, not bothering to stay behind to see what she'd say.

The weekend passed and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking of Jackie the whole time. I wished I'd never found her crying after her breakup with Jeff because then I wouldn't have felt the need to check on her and she wouldn't have felt the need to be my friend. My life was a whole lot easier when she wasn't in it, and yet I still couldn't stop thinking of her. She was bad for me, so why did I still care about her?

I hadn't seen her since the game on Friday night, and despite the fact that she'd literally humiliated me, I still felt guilty for shouting at her. I wasn't someone who got angry easily, but truthfully, it wasn't anger. My heart hurt and who else to take it out on than the girl who broke it?

It was foolish of me to even feel that way, since we weren't anything. She'd never said she cared about me as more than a friend, she hadn't really done anything out of the ordinary except kiss me, which had clearly been a mistake. Her flirtatious behaviour was just typical Jackie. I knew what I was getting myself into. I guess this whole thing was my fault in a way.

Trying to take my mind off it, I stayed back after school to start putting my end of year portfolio together for photography class. I was grateful that nobody else was here, needing the quiet to simply get lost in my school work and nothing else.

I was considering some photographs on the desk when the sound of the door opening startled me. Nobody was supposed to be here, but when I turned around, my surprise faded into irritation at the sight of Jackie.

"Okay, seriously, do you need me to sing it you?" I asked with disbelief. "Write it down? Get a fucking sky writer?! Leave me alone, Jackie!"

"Wait," she said quickly, closing the door behind her and letting herself in, making me groan. "Please, I just– I have something to say."

I rolled my eyes, looking back to my photos with hopes she'd get the hint. "What? You finally figure your shit out?"

It was sarcastic, so I definitely didn't expect her to say, "Yeah. I broke up with Jeff."

My brows knitted together with confusion when I looked to her again. "You what?"

She licked her lips, grateful for the relief in tension. "After the game on Friday. I ended it."

I was certainly shocked to hear that she'd done that, but I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction. Crossing my arms, I tried to appear indifferent. "So what?"

She exhaled softly, steadily approaching me until she was stood right in front of me. Her hazel eyes, looking brown as they met mine, held my gaze with determination.

"You weren't an experiment," she said guiltily. "You weren't a rebound either. I never meant to hurt you, Y/N."

I frowned, eyes flickering between hers. Both my frustration and distress were building up because she seemed to be telling the truth, and it wasn't fair. She still did it. She broke my heart.

"Then what?" I asked, hands trembling. "How else can it seem when you–" I paused, glancing at the classroom door which was closed. Still, I lowered my voice for her sake. "When you kissed me – which, by the way, you initiated – then, before I can even discuss it with you, you get back together with your boyfriend? How?!"

She frowned, shaking her head as she looked down to her hands. "It was horrible, I know. You have to know how much I regret it."

"Gee, thanks," I said bitterly, and she was quick to look up again, worried.

"Wait, no, that's not what I meant," she explained. "I regret getting back together with Jeff, not kissing you. I– I liked that a lot." She was unusually nervous, swallowing visibly. "I like you."

My heart was confused as I studied her expression, seeing nothing but honesty.

"I should've said something," she admitted. "I didn't know that I'd fall for you, Y/N. I've never even liked a girl. Especially not one who's so sure of herself."

I scoffed, meeting her confused look with a knowing one. "Seriously? You're Jackie fucking Taylor, the most confident girl in school."

"Not always," she said with a wince. "Clearly."

I watched her, struggling to accept what she was saying.

"I understand if you hate me," she said, straightening up and meeting my gaze with a solemn one. "And I'll truly leave you alone, as you wish. Just say the word."

I pressed my lips together, seeing the serious expression on her face. I couldn't just say the word, because no matter how hard I'd tried to hate her, I just couldn't. All I'd really wanted was for her to like me, too.

She stood patiently, probably would have stood there for the rest of the day, waiting for me to speak. And I hated it because she'd hurt me deeply, but now I understood why. And even after everything, I still wanted her.

"Y/N?"

For once, I stopped overthinking and just kissed her, eyes closing when my lips met hers. She breathed out and lifted her hand to rest on my neck, pulling me closer and sending shivers down my spine at the contact. It was desperate, I was aware, but I couldn't get enough of her taste, her floral scent reminding me of last time, the adrenaline rush.

Without meaning to, her back hit her the desk behind her, but other than a brief readjustment, we continued to make out, my head spinning with thoughts of how good she felt so close to me. Stupid pretty girls and their stupid pretty faces.

We pulled apart for air, but I didn't let go of her just yet. My heart was thumping in my chest as I caught my breath, lips tingling as they craved for hers yet again.

"I really like you too," I said without thinking, eyes flickering to hers. "That's why it stung when you did what you did. Why I was so angry."

She nodded slowly in understanding. "I'm sorry."

I sighed, closing my eyes as I tried to collect my thoughts, but it was pretty damn difficult when she was still invading every sense of mine and I welcomed it.

"I don't know how I can trust you," I admitted, opening my eyes and being met with her determined expression.

"You can," she promised.

"What if you decide you don't want this anymore?" I asked, not wanting to doubt her feelings, but not prepared to start something that could end in heartbreak. "What if you think you've made a mistake? Start to miss Jeff? Then what, Jackie?"

"That won't happen," she said with certainty, thumb stroking my cheek.

"But it could."

She frowned, eyes boring into mine as if trying to make me understand. Finally, she said, "I'll spend forever proving you wrong."

I got lost in her eyes, so full of conviction that I had no choice but to believe her. Maybe some things were worth the risk. She certainly was.

"I'd love to see that," I said after a moment, an attempt at a joke.

She paused, trying to digest my words, and then she cracked a small smile.

"I forgive you," I told her. "I know how hard it can be to admit your feelings to yourself, especially for the first time."

She was hopeful, and I was suddenly overcome with an excitement because Jackie Taylor was stood in my arms, telling me she liked me, and I wasn't dreaming.

"Can I kiss you?" she asked, making me smile.

A simple nod and then she captured my bottom lip between hers, making the butterflies in my stomach flutter a storm. Unlike before, this kiss was slower than the others, more considerate, and I knew then and there that I'd never get sick of her lips.

She pulled away after leaving me breathless, her eyes half lidded when they looked from my lips to my eyes. "How was that for proving you wrong?"

I let out a breathy chuckle, admittedly a little flustered. "It's a start."

A smug smile appeared on her lips and then she was kissing me again, laughing as she did.

Lil bonus scene:

This was the least peppiest pep rally I'd ever been to, producing the worst photos I could take because everybody looked bored. As the principal made a speech about how 'good' the baseball team were doing this year, I snapped a few photos but ultimately sat bored in the front row. Everybody was much more excited for the star of the show – the Yellowjackets.

And after what felt like forever, the school band began to play their instruments and the soccer team began making their way in. Like a switch had been flipped, all the students in the bleachers stood up, cheering and applauding and celebrating their favourite sports team.

A much better subject, I began to photograph the crowd, all dressed in the bright yellow and blue school colours, waving signs and beaming with painted faces. And then my focus shifted to the team themselves, who were lining up before the crowd, grins on their faces. Despite the principal trying to calm everyone down so he could make his speech about how great they were doing, nobody would listen, still cheering on the team.

As I was snapping photos of them all, Jackie caught my eye and a playful smirk was on her lips when she winked at me. Even after the month we'd been together so far, she still left me nervous sometimes, thought I'd accepted that was what came with dating someone as self-assured as Jackie Taylor. We hadn't broadcasted our relationship by any means, but students at school weren't stupid and they were beginning to put it together. I didn't mind though, and I hoped she didn't either.

Finally, the principal managed to quieten everyone down long enough to make a speech worth listening to, expressing his pride in the Yellowjackets and wishing them luck as they prepared for the game tomorrow which would determine whether they'd make it to nationals.

After he finished, the band played them out, along with the audience's cheering, and then everybody began to leave. I was one of the last few to go, making my way out of the sports hall, only to be pulled to the side suddenly, realising Jackie had been waiting for me.

"Someone took their time," she said impatiently, crossing her arms, now wearing her varsity jacket over her soccer uniform.

"Someone was doing their job," I reminded her with a smile, wiggling my camera in the air.

At this, she quirked a brow. "You got my good side, right?"

I laughed. "Jackie Taylor doesn't have a bad side. She knows it too."

She began to smile, flicking her hair in agreement, and I rolled my eyes playfully.

"You look cute with your face paint on," I told her, referring to the little yellow jacket painted on her cheek.

"It's called school pride," she said, before giving me a disapproving look. "You didn't dress up."

"Again, I was busy photographing everything," I said, raising my camera for emphasis.

"Well, we can't have that," she said, tutting, and then she pulled off her varsity jacket and attempted to wrap it around me, but I stopped her.

"Wait," I said, realising what she was doing.

"What?"

I stared at her knowingly. "It's your jacket."

"Duh."

"Yeah," I agreed in a matter-of-fact tone, "but–"

"I'm giving it to you," she said simply, confused when I wouldn't put my arms in it as she held it open.

"You can't," I said, wondering if she was playing dumb or what.

She furrowed her brows. "What? Why?"

I amended my comment, "I mean, yeah, you can, but you know that people will put two and two together, right? You give me that and it'll be, like, an actual confirmation to everyone that we're dating."

Still, she wasn't following as she stared with raised brows. "Okay? And...?"

Now it was my turn to be confused. "You don't mind?"

Finally catching on to why I was questioning her, she relaxed and lowered the jacket momentarily. "That's sweet of you to ask, but no, I don't mind." She paused, before glancing at me worriedly. "Wait, do you?"

I sighed, before an amused smile formed on my lips. "No, I don't. I just didn't want you to feel like you had to."

Her expression softened, smile appearing on her lips and matching the sparkle in her eyes. "I want to. Now, come here."

This time, I let her help me into her jacket, immediately engulfed in her scent and warmth and not minding in the slightest. She stepped back, admiring her handiwork, eyes looking me up and down for several seconds too long and leaving me with a warm face.

"I should've given you this sooner," she said, impressed, and I rolled my eyes at her pride.

She chuckled before pulling me in for a quick kiss, and then we walked hand in hand down the hallway.

"You know that this means you have to be my number one fan now, right?" she asked, giving me a sideways glance.

I tried not to laugh as I said, "But I already supported the team–"

"No, not the team's fan," she cut me off nonchalantly, "mine. Me. Player number nine."

At her dead serious expression, I began to chuckle quietly. "Nine. My new favourite number, darling."

A smile crept on her lips. "Good."

#jackie taylor x you #jackie taylor imagine #jackie taylor x reader #jackie taylor #ella purnell #yellowjackets imagine #yellowjackets

[asylumdwellermoved]

YOU! YOU'RE BACK! (you probably don't remember me we only talked, like, once, but hello xjbx)

ANYWAY UM UH what about a reader/PC seducing* Harper and getting more than what they asked for

* (could be intentional or could be Harper going "they are CLEARLY looking at me like that because they want something, yeah?")

(I REMEMBER YOU YOUR BLOG IS ONE OF MY FAVS TO LURK ON

leaning somewhat into the second option bc i love the contrast of manipulative freaks being equally delusional <3

gn!reader, gn!harper, dub/noncon)

"So, how have you been feeling?"

A newfound hesitance replaces your usual quickness to answer. You watch the bright eyes in front of you shift, possibly noticing a dullness in them that you hadn't before. Before you can wonder if it's your mind playing tricks on you, you clear your throat and smile.

"Good...! Been doing a little better lately..."

The doctor smiles back at you, clasping their hands together. "I'm glad! I assume you've been doing those techniques I gave you last week?"

You nod, trying to let the rumors swimming in your head fade to just the back of your mind as you automatically respond to their questions.

You had been seeing Dr. Harper on Fridays for a good few weeks now. Up until recently, you had been perfectly comfortable. It was nice having someone to talk to, even if they were just doing their job. You have absolutely no memory of anything bad happening in any of your sessions. It was only when you had mentioned your recent help to Sydney and saw their skin bristle and received a vague warning in response that you started to worry. Mickey remarking on the doctor's "problems" not long after definitely didn't help. You knew how dangerous this town could be, and you definitely didn't want to be on the bad side of anyone holding your physical well being above your head.

"And that recent spat with that person at your school that you told me about last week? How did that go?"

"Ah, well... they put out a cigarette on me yesterday, so I kind of feel like it's a lost cause..."

If you just... suck up to them it should be fine, right? They seem at least somewhat reasonable. Bat your eyes at them and butter them up a little, and you should be airtight.

Their eyebrows furrow in concern. "Can I see the wound?"

You nod, hesitantly unbuttoning the top of your shirt to give easier access to the burn on your collarbone.

"A few more, please? I'm going to wipe it down and apply some vitamin E gel so that it heals a bit better, I need a little more space."

You oblige, trying not to look bothered, the collar of your shirt now draping over your shoulder. They get to work on gently cleaning your wound. You choose your next words carefully.

"Hey, Dr. Harper..." You don't realize how close they are until you feel the heat of your own breath coming back onto you when you speak.

"Hm?"

"Thanks for everything. Really. I've been doing a lot better lately, and I couldn't have got here without you."

A smile crosses their lips and they hum in contentment. "You're very sweet."

"I appreciate it a lot. At this point, I don't know what I'd do without you..."

You wince a little as that last part comes out, worried you'd be pushing things. You see the look in their eyes change and you freeze. They turn their formerly fixed gaze to your face. It looks almost like it flipped some sort of switch in them.

"I'm very glad to hear that."

You flinch from the feeling of the cold gel on your skin.

"You know, just between us... You're my favorite patient."

You double take.

"A-Am I really?" You feign a smile at their strange remark.

They light up at your reaction. "Yes, really. I'm happy that the feeling's mutual."

Wait... what?

You stiffen a bit, unsure what to say. You notice that their hand is ghosting further and further from the blistering as they touch your skin. And did another button come loose?

"That said, you can come to me for anything. When you're hurt, when you're anxious, when you're upset, when you're... flustered..."

They've gotten closer. The faint hospital smell on their clothes mixed with a slight unplaceable scent feels near suffocating now. When you feel their fingers twitch a bit you notice their hands haven't left your skin.

Ah. So this is what they meant. Not the Bailey kind of scary. Something entirely different.

They hesitate for a second, but waste no time in pressing their lips against yours, pulling you into them and quickly darting their tongue out, trying to force it in. You suddenly feel smothered at the feeling of what control you had being pulled out from under you.

"Dr. Harper-...!"

They pull back, shuddering at the sound of their name on your lips before putting a hand between your legs, a heavy heat of their own pressing against your thigh, grinding softly.

"If I knew I could do this while you were lucid, I would've a long time ago..." They give a breathless giggle like it was some sort of joke, looking straight at you but showing no recognition of the horror on your face.

The look softens as you start to squirm at their touch, watching their eyes flick to your lips again when a gasp slips out. They lean in again, peppering soft, closed-mouth kisses against your lips like they weren't slipping their fingers beneath your clothes to try to get you off at the same time.

"Shhh, I need you to stay quiet for me... Don't worry, when I make sure we have some time all to ourselves soon you can be as loud as you want..." They coo at you almost like they're consoling a child.

The pleasure-induced haze in your brain keeps you from dwelling on what they mean as they keep teasing you, playing with one of your nipples through your open shirt and closely watching your reactions as they pant and moan against your ear. Unable to stop from eventually reaching your peak, you writhe against them helplessly, unconsciously bucking into their hand. A shaky gasp escapes their throat and you notice a warm, wet patch had grown on the fabric against your thigh. Your stomach turns a bit.

They lock their lips with yours again, breathing heavy through their nose, only pulling away when it starts to slow. They stare at you in what looks like a strange sort of... adoration? As they bring their fingers to their lips, slowly dragging their tongue through the mess you made. Their glazed over, half lidded eyes widen a bit when they look at the clock. "Ah- I didn't even notice the time."

They walk back to their desk, nonchalantly sitting back down, rifling through their papers before pulling a pen out. The second you get the chance, you walk out on shaky legs without saying a word.

"Client exhibiting potentially self-endangering behavior. Institutionalize at next availability."

#SORRY IM really rusty at writing and def have trouble with pacing but i hope it was FINE #it was fun though bc harper letting their stream of consciousness flow out loud #bc the relationship is mutual (in their head) was interesting #especially since a part of them very much still knows its not so they still have all the safety locks in place lmao #ok ramble over #harper the doctor #dol #degrees of lewdity

[juyeonszn]

AND THEN THERE IS YOU

PAIRING ju haknyeon x f!reader (gn technically since there are no gendered terms)

WORD COUNT 1.17k

GENRES fluff ﹒very slight angst like blink and u miss it

WARNINGS another fic of mine that doesn’t require an 18+ warning… fawn in her tamed era 🙏, ur heart will ache from how </3 this is, mentions of divorce, reader had kind of a shitty childhood, reader also has some intimacy issues, hak is the most patient and kind person ever, throws up everywhere bc me when </3

SUMMARY he was content loving you until you were ready to love him.

MORE ANDDDDD my insanity strikes again!!!!1!1!1! aka in my dr. seuss william shakespeare edgar allan poe steven king arc 😍 my inspiration has been crazy lately, so enjoy this before juyeonszn goes into a drought deeper into the semester 😭 ANYWAYS MAE (@maessseongs) HERE U GO!! i kept it fluffier and kinda short bc it just felt right, i hope that’s okay with u! this is the last request from my 100 followers event so far ✨ prompts used are: 2, 7 >:)

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs

Relationships were a weird concept to you. Growing up, you’d never really been shown affection. Your parents weren’t the type to pack your lunch for school in the morning and send you off with a peck on the cheek followed by an ‘I Love You’.

In fact, they never told you that they loved you very often. Maybe a handful of times in your whole life did you hear those three words uttered from them. And even less did you hear that they were proud of you. It was worse when you took a step back and watched their own crumbling marriage.

As long as they’d been together, you never heard them tell the other how much they were appreciated. They fought more than they got along. You usually fell asleep to the sound of doors slamming and loud arguing in the hallway. When they finally decided to get a divorce, you almost cried out of joy. They were draining more out of you than each other.

So, perhaps that had to do with your fucked up view of relationships as you became an adult. You could never fully comprehend what love was since you didn’t exactly have stellar role models. Boyfriends came and went, losing interest as soon as they realized how disconnected you were. Your heart was never truly in it.

And then, you met Haknyeon.

Sweet sweet Haknyeon, who only cared about your happiness and your well being. Haknyeon, who didn’t ask you for more than you could give. Who didn’t push you for answers when you shut him out. Who patiently waited on the sidelines while you rebooted yourself.

If there were a higher being out in the universe, they’d done an excellent job at putting all the best qualities into Ju Haknyeon. By some miracle or a stroke of luck, he found his way to you. You’ll always think that he deserves better than you, but you’ll also always be eternally grateful that you have him.

As summer takes its last breath and the air begins to chill, leaves wilting to the streets and crunching below the feet of passersby, your motivation to get up in the mornings has started its tumultuous decline. You don’t know what it is about the change in seasons that continues to put a damper in your mood as the years go on, but it’s become almost too much to bear. It was no longer a dull pressure in the pit of your stomach and the back of your mind. Now it was a heaviness that settled in your heart and weighed you down.

It was a Thursday evening and you were tucked into bed already, despite a peek of the sun still visible over the horizon. Your head was pounding despite the room being silent. You curl into yourself further just as your bedroom door creaks open. Haknyeon whispers an apology, going to exit the room when he sees the state you’re in.

It was standard for him to leave you alone until you were ready to talk. He knew you had a hard time opening up, considering what you’d grown up with, and he didn’t want to be the person who pestered you to tell him what was wrong. He wanted you to feel comfortable coming to him first. Haknyeon couldn’t handle being the reason you were pushed to your breaking point.

But for some reason, this time is different. You don’t want to be left alone. You want to be held. You want him to kiss your forehead and tell you he loves you, unlike what you had when you were younger.

“Hak, wait,” you call, voice slightly hoarse. “Stay. Please.”

He’s taken aback by your request, but doesn’t hesitate to follow through. He climbs into the bed behind you, wrapping his arms around your center. In spite of the fact that this wasn’t a usual occurrence, that cuddling was something you’ve only done a couple other times, he embraces you as if this was second nature for him. As if holding you in his arms was his very life source.

“Are you sure?” He asks softly, words spoken gently into your hair.

“Mhm, I want this,” you nod, nuzzling into his arm. “I have never felt this safe with anyone before.”

Haknyeon’s breathing stutters. You’ve never admitted this to him before, you’ve never ever said ‘I Love You’, but he’s always been willing to wait. He understood that this was a new territory for you. He was content loving you until you were ready to love him, even if it took months— even if it took years. That’s how much he cared for you. In his eyes, you were the reason there were stars in the sky. You were the reason why the sun rose in the morning and why the moon shone at night.

He kisses your temple. “I’ll be here to protect you.”

You turn in his arms to get a good look at his face. Because it was so rare that you were this close, you wanted to memorize his features from this distance. You trace his cheekbones and jawline with your thumb, eyes flickering down to his lips.

You lean forward, minimizing the gap between you to press your lips into a sweet kiss, almost as sweet as him. Haknyeon gasps out of surprise, but quickly reciprocates your affection, bringing up a hand to cup your face. He allows you to set the pace, to move at a speed you were comfortable with in case this was all you wanted.

When you pull back to catch your breath, he smiles, taking in how pretty you were. He could never get enough of you. He thinks that was his biggest flaw, being so greedy when it came to you. He couldn’t help but indulge himself every time you let him, though if it were a sin, he’d gladly commit it over and over again.

“However many years we have left, I wanna spend them all with you.”

You feel the tears dripping down your cheeks before you register that you’re crying. You couldn’t possibly fathom how Haknyeon came to find love in the form of you; the hollow shell of a person who’s never felt the warmth of another human in their life. You didn’t think you deserved someone like him. The only logical explanation was that you were a saint in a past life, and the higher being you mentioned earlier was rewarding you for it.

But even so, he loved you. Enough that he wasn’t afraid to spend the rest of his life with you waking up on the other side of the bed.

He swipes away some stray tears with the pad of his thumb and kisses your nose. You let out a small laugh, connecting your lips once more. It conveys all you want to say, but you know saying it out loud will make it concrete. It’ll solidify what you’ve been building up the courage to finally tell him.

“I wanna spend them all with you, too.”

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

#the boyz #the boyz x reader #the boyz fluff #tbz #tbz x reader #tbz fluff #the boyz haknyeon #tbz haknyeon #ju haknyeon x reader #ju haknyeon fluff #haknyeon x reader #haknyeon fluff #juyeonszn #juyeonszn.100🪩

[cerubean]

finished my horse ranch gp sims and yes they have unnecessary extensive lore that only matters to me

in order left to right

sullivan (sully) nakai: animal lover, green fiend, serious

jacquelyn (jack) loloma: loner, genius, overachiever

mackenzie (mack) loloma: daredevil

**(i might change some of these traits idk)

sully and jack were childhood friends and eventually fell in love as they became teens. unexpectedly, they became teen parents to mackenzie, and shortly after graduation they got married.

as the years passed a feeling of resentment grew within jack. she loved sully (and still does,) but she didn't want to become complacent in life and give up her dreams of going to law school. naturally, sully and jack grew apart; they wanted different things in life. she wanted to venture outside of her hometown and live in the city, and sully perfectly content tending to his late father's ranch with his brother.

so, they got divorced and jack left with mackenzie to live in san myshuno. sully is someone who doesn't regret anything in life, but sometimes he wishes that he had fought harder to keep mackenzie in his life. their relationship is quite strained now that mack is older and also due to the distance. with jack's busy schedule as a lawyer they don't go back to visit often, so they mostly communicate through the occasional video call when mack isn't too busy terrorizing her classmates at school.

now that mack's out of school for the summer, jacquelyn feels it would be best for her daughter to spend her summer vacation on the ranch with her dad. she'll get a chance to have some quality time with sully and bond with him and also learn some discipline (hopefully).

-------

anyways that's all i could think of lore wise, can you beleive that this is the short version!! i suck at summarizing pls forgive me lol

if you read all of this then i appreciate you so much bc wow i really do just be talkin.

#resisting the urge to make 39480 family members i already made jack's mom i might make her dad and give sully a brother #ts4 cas #s4mm #the sims 4 #s #simblr #ill think of a tag for them later speaking of i need to fix my theme/navigation #ugh i hate that cowboy hat but i didnt have any cc at the time so that'll def change in the future #im soo excited for the pack to come out even though i think there's not a lot of stuff but im just looking forward to the horses and having #once i saw that children can ride horses the idea of all this popped into my head. i think mack will find out that she likes taking care of #i tried to make her look like a good mix between her mom and dad but i dont have a ton of skin details for kids. i'd say that making her ou #chestnut ridge

[kiisaes]

Hey, i’d like to hear some of your bakudeku/katsudeku headcannons since i saw some and they’re so cute😭💞i love your art so much, it’s amazingg keep it up!!

ty !!! 🙏

I'll be honest I don't really have any headcanons off the top of my head. I have to think really hard about those I like but usually I can point at a preexisting one and go "haha yes I like this one" without thinking of it myself =v=

I think my biggest hc rn - and it's kind of controversial bc ik ppl have different opinions on it - is that deku is just flat out gay. like that's his sexuality, he only likes men. I used to hc him as bi and I campaigned pretty hard for it, and regarding fandom ships I still don't mind shipping him with girls. (tbh with fandom ships, I kind of just disregard a character's sexuality hc entirely bc I'm a multishipper who thinks crack ships are fucking great.)

but vibe wise, as well as putting canon into perspective, he just feels so gay to me. he screams comphet. he's got some vague internalized homophobia where he's totally supportive if u're gay, but HE'S not gay. and there's no way he can be even though he very well could be. like just think about it. he was really only so shy and nervous around girls bc he's literally never interacted with one casually before high school. and after he got close to 1A and could, you know, talk to women, he lost any deeper attraction in them. literally what happened with him and ochako. that's just how I feel anyway, but he won't admit his natural drift towards men (bkg) and his emotional hangups on men (bkg). he hangs out with men (bkg) way too much for him to have any serious interest in women imo

anyway this is just my take, you can hc deku as whatever sexuality you want!!! I still think bi deku has so much flavor like yass be the disaster bi u were meant to be!!! but gay deku just speaks more to me nowadays, I guess

ok upon thinking long and hard, I have come up with these silly hcs as well:

they are both bad at verbalizing their feelings. dk is overall horrible with emotions that pertain to himself so he just doesn't dwell on his very obvious crush on bkg. he just thinks that it's normal to be obsessed with another man. like lol hes been doing it since he was a baby. it's not anything more. he is NOT gay. straight men can appreciate everything about another man and more! just bestie things! and bkg has accepted in his heart that he is gay for dk but u are NOT going to hear him say it. sorry but that man does not know how to even start a convo about this. he'd probably want to, but knows he'd fuck it up and dk would miss the point. he'd probably just tell dk to fight him and then make out somewhere down the line bc it's easier and less embarrassing to him. little does he know, HE'S embarrassing and I hate him.

so u know the whole "bkg is an early bird and dk is a night owl" hc? and how it's technically canonically wrong? yeah. I'm obsessed with how wrong it is. bkg going to bed early and waking up late is so real of him. he just really fucking loves to sleep, and dk is the exact opposite. man goes to bed late and wakes up at 5 in the morning. he gets like 3 hours of sleep maximum and he's functioning perfectly. god I wish I were him

that one adhd vs autism meme but it's bkdk. u get to choose which ones which. maybe they're both

dk has dimples, one on each cheek! maybe bkg has one too. who knows

this is one I just thought of right now but it's like. part of the fandom bible that bkg can cook and dk cannot. however. I think dk can cook ok - fine enough to sustain himself - but bake REALLY WELL. bkg can cook bc he's "a natural" who can easily figure out exactly how to cook and spice foods. he doesnt need to follow a recipe to a T, he can just figure it out himself. dk can bake bc I'd imagine baking, with their meticulous recipe requirements, are easier to comprehend for him. he takes a shitton of notes on the daily, u can't tell me he'll eagerly read and jot down shit so his pastries turn out well. he'd prefer following step by step than winging it. does this make sense. words are hard

I always like drawing bkdk pretty close in height. ik lots of bkdks like a height difference but I prefer when rivals are pretty equal, and that includes how tall they are

dk's hands are coarser than bkg's, except around the palms, where bkg canonically has thick skin (so I'd assume there's some callouses there)

I like to think that bkg is good at basically anything, considering how he's a perfectionist. give him something to do and one week to do it, and he'll have a new skill under his belt. but there's a few things he can't do that trip him up so bad and make him so angry. like to me he definitely doesn't know how to whistle or roll his Rs. he just physically cannot. they're such pointless abilities but he hates how he can't do them. especially bc dk can definitely do both

dk keeps calling bkg "kacchan" bc it reminds him of a simpler time :') it makes him feel more connected to bkg than he initially is, and tacitly tells the class that he knows bkg best. also bc bkg never told him to stop so like ... why should he stop now. lol. and ALSO bc he's waiting to see how far he can go before bkg snaps. little does he know, bkg never snaps about "kacchan" bc that's dk's name for him. it reminds him that dk is always there, always calling out for him. and recently, it's a reassurance that he's still here, against all odds

ending this list with a classic but dk's favorite food is katsudon bc it reminds him of kacchan's name (KATSUdon vs KATSUki)

hope this is a good enough hc list anon!

#asks for becki #there are probably some really obvious ones im missing #bakudeku #bkdk #becki rambles about stuff

[dabislilbaby]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

Two ppl actually tagged me in this so thank you @malewifetouya and @happyely 🖤🖤🖤

Sadly some of my most favorite projects are ones that are still sitting in my drafts unfinished 😭 but out of all the ones I've posted these are the ones I'm most proud of <3

"Come Home" — Deku:

I don't even know if this would be considered a fic?? Cuz honestly this was such a short little thing that I wrote in under like 15 minutes 😭 probably the shortest amount of time it's taken me to ever write literally anything. But it was after I watched S6 E136 and literally that night I had a dream where this whole scene was played out in my head. And it just felt so dramatic in the right ways and just raw emotion that I had to write it down. And it's STILL my most liked post on this entire blog😭 but honestly understandable bc sometimes I go back and read it and I'm just like "damn wait I wrote that????" lmfaoo

"Only for you, Toshi" — Shinsou:

Completely opposite from the last one, this is actually the longest thing I've ever written. (that's posted anyway, there's a few longer still in my drafts) I just feel like Shinsou doesn't get enough love but he definitely deserves it😭❤️ all my friends that read it said they really enjoyed it and I'm just really happy with how it came out after working on it for a couple weeks, and that not touching it for a few months and then coming back to it only to finish it in like 2 days lmao

"Attention" — Dabi:

Now this wouldn't be a post about my fics if I didn't include something for my absolute favorite character in the entire show🖤 this fic was very self indulgent bc I'm such a brat🤭 and I'm convinced that Dabi is the king of brat taming. Fun fact, the outfit I described is something I literally own in my closet 😂

"Secrets" — BakuDeku x reader [UNFINISHED]:

This is a multi-part series I'm co-writing with my bsf @haru-x-ren on a joint account we made. (@bunny-x-haru if you'd like to follow) it's currently still a work in progress with only a few parts released, but it is a continuation of a 2 part fic I wrote when I first started called "You're the Only Thing That Makes Sense" — Bakugo So I do recommend reading this one first before Secrets for context and background info. I feel like you can really see my growth in writing from then to now, cuz that was like literally the second thing I ever posted lol. And Haru was literally my biggest fan bc he's the one that got me into writing fanfic<3 so after he read it, he had this absolutely BRILLIANT idea (spoiler) to take the scene I wrote where bakugo and deku were caught fighting after school hours (similar to that scene from season....2? When Bakugo learned about OFA) and turn it into a BakuDeku love triangle and I was honestly obsessed with the idea

And lastly

"For Your Eyes Only" — Dabi:

Another one for my fav<3 this one was for his birthday and is very nasty🤭 also with a little bit of fluff at the end bc I am indeed a hopeless romantic with no romance🥲 also, the cover photo is most definitely the reaction I was imagining when he walks into the room lmao

Side Note:

I know it's been a while since I've posted any writing and I am so sorry 😭 I guess I've just been in a little bit of a funk when it comes to my creativity lately. I mean I've got plenty, and I do mean PLENTY of ideas written down, but Im having a hard time executing them and turning them into something I can post. But I promise I'll get back to posting as soon as I can and I'm really sorry to everyone who has been waiting for stuff😭 I appreciate your patience❤️

Here's 5 other writers I recommend<3

@cathwritestragediesnotsins @aquadenks @kemakoshume @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic + any other writers who'd like to make ur own posts<3

#dabi #mha dabi #bakugo x reader #kacchan #mha deku #bakugou x deku #izuku mydoria #shinsou hitoshi #bnha shinsou #bnha dabi #touya todoroki #bakugou x reader #katuski bakugou #bakugo #bakugo katsuki x reader #bnha deku #dekubaku #deku #my hero academia shinsou #shinsou x reader #mha shinsou #fic recs #my fics #mha writing #mha fanfiction

[vacantgodling]

i know you said u were gonna write them regardless, but if it has any bearing on priority, i particularly want to see 2 and/or 7 (same general vibe imo) of the pining prompts <3 -from @calicojackofficial

rip it took me FOREVER to get to this HOWEVER thank you for asking i really appreciate it :’)

(if you wanna request a pining prompt that will take a dubious amount of time to get to the list is here!)

i’m gonna do this for jihan & hue bc 💛 them

2. Quickly sewing back the loose button of their shirt that came off at the last minute, realising that you two are extremely close & 7. Fixing each other's clothes (+ if they say "you look good")

At some point, the irresponsibility that came with early twenties had begun to fall away to make room for responsibility that came with the latter half of this decade. Hue had his fun; frat parties, and stupid college shit, bad decisions that he wouldn’t regret only for the sake of reveling in chasing his youth like a dog chases it’s tail… pause for the metaphor, or perhaps, lack thereof. But he was graduated now and he couldn’t live at his sister’s forever. Not that she would mind particularly, it’s just that he would. He wanted to have a place to call his own, more than just a 3x4” room of space—and to not have to sneak every person he brought home out of the window should he want to bring them over.

No, he needed a job.

There wasn’t even that much of a rotating line of guests in his bed anyway, at least, not anymore. Ever since last year, he’d only had eyes for one man, who was currently sprawled on the bed in the tiny room his sister let him have, and the only one of his… interests that she’d ever willingly let come in through the front door. Jihan was idly flipping through a wayward magazine and Hue’s tail twitched in agitation as he fiddled with the buttons of his dress shirt. His interview was for a small pharmaceutical lab that specialized in supernatural medicines; close enough to what he was studying back in school and consequently, the first place to give him a callback after he applied.

He fumbled with the buttons for perhaps the third time, and his frustrated groan made Jihan look up.

“Need help?” He asked sweetly and Hue huffed, but didn’t argue, so with a little laugh Jihan stood from the bed and stepped into his space. The one reason he’d been avoiding asking for help is well—

A helpless shudder ran down Hue’s spine when Jihan’s hands brushed against his bare skin to undo the buttons of his shirt. He’d been more and more on edge lately. He and Jihan had kept it PG for longer than he was expecting if he was honest, and it was at the point now that even the lightest touch and smelling Jihan’s barely there pheromones was almost enough to get him going. Almost. He had self control. For the most part.

He managed to hold still while Jihan redid his buttons, but Jihan swore softly when one of the buttons that had been giving him the most trouble popped off altogether.

“Seriously.” Hue couldn’t help but growl, but Jihan’s chuckle smoothed over the agitation that spiked within his chest.

“Now now, don’t growl at it, you’ll scare it away.” Jihan got down on the floor to begin to search for the missing button and Hue started to bend himself but Jihan tutted at him. “You know how long it took me to iron that for you? Stand up straight.” Hue sighed, but conceded, watching the vampire card through the shag carpeting for a full minute until he finally produced the button. He stood back up, then went over to his bag and rifled through it for a moment.

“What’re you doing?”

“Getting a sewing kit.” Jihan said over his shoulder. “Since I know this is the only good shirt you have.” Hue would’ve snarked back but, “You carry around a sewing kit?”

“One for wounds and the other for clothes.” Jihan returned back to him, threading the needle with practiced ease. “Old habits, and all that.” He did pause to drink in the low cut of Hue’s unbuttoned shirt, and though Jihan told him before that he had—well, whatever it was called when he couldn’t recognize faces, did he know that his own face could look so hungry? Hue’s mouth ran dry. Jihan came back to reality after a second, smiling toothily at him. “Though I don’t think this is a bad look on you.”

“I’m interviewing for a lab not a strip club.” Hue’s murmur was far too fond to sound truly cross. Jihan chuckled but it sounded deeper in his chest, and the subtle scent of him grew stronger.

It used to be a blessing to be able to tell when people started to get aroused around him. Hue had loved it when he was young and flirting in bars, but Jihan was different territory. They’d been practically inseparable the past few months, and they hadn’t even so much as held hands yet, let alone declare that they were anything beyond good friends. But they both knew they were toeing the line, and worse yet, so did everyone around them. The number of looks his sister gave him when Jihan was hanging out around the house and his pheromones subtly shifted made his dark cheeks flush in ways he was glad Jihan himself couldn’t see.

Jihan’s nimble fingers sewed the button back on as though it were just an afterthought, and he stuck the needle back into its little kit and into his own pocket, before he buttoned the shirt back up again. He smoothed a few wrinkles in the shirt, plucked a stray hair from where Hue had braided his mane back as neatly as he could. Then he smiled.

Hue didn’t know if his chest or his pants were tighter.

“You look good.” Jihan murmured fondly. He let one hand trail against his as-of-this-morning clean shaven jaw. “Though I do miss this.”

“I’ll grow it back when I get the job.” Hue said back, softly, not that they needed to whisper. “Not like it takes long for it to grow back anyway.” Jihan laughed at that. “That’s true! I almost envy it.”

“Have you ever had facial hair, Han?” Jihan screwed his face up and Hue had a hard time picturing it. “Mm… Not that I can remember but it probably looked like shit if I had.”

“Maybe one of your old friends has a picture.” Hue teased and Jihan shoved him, finally stepping far enough away that Hue didn’t feel as lightheaded. But, the warm feeling in his chest was still there; still buzzing like alcohol under his skin.

“Hey, Han?”

“Mm?” Jihan had taken residence back up on his bed and was just reaching for the magazine but paused at his name. “… If I get the job, would you…” Hue swallowed hard—his tongue suddenly felt too big for his mouth. “Would you um, go on a date? With me?” Hue asked. Jihan blinked at him and Hue quickly waved his hand. “I mean, not as friends but as—“

“I know what you meant.” A slow smile slid onto Jihan’s face. “But I’d go on a date with you even if you don’t get the job. Hell,” His grin was blinding. “We could go on a date right now, if you want.” Hue flushed and Jihan chuckled. “I can tell you’re blushing.”

“How?!”

“I can smell the blood rushing to your cheeks.” Jihan snickered and somehow that made it worse; every time he’d gotten flustered around him, he’d known—hadn’t he? Well… it was no different than him being able to tell when Jihan was hard, anyway.

“Well, then how about this,” Hue walked back to his bed and knelt, pressing his nose against Jihan’s.

“If I get this job, I’ll pay for the date.”

“And if you don’t?” Jihan’s voice was too teasing to be serious.

“Then our date is at a bar and you’re buying me shots.”

Jihan laughed and pushed Hue back; probably not wanting to breach their mounting tension right before he had something important to do, and Hue thanked him even if he wished he hadn’t.

But he had a good feeling when he went out to his car. He waved back to Jihan and his sister as he headed off towards the interview.

He smiled.

A really good feeling.

#They’re cute and sappy your honor #s: supernatural dads #ren writing

[eddiesxangel]

Alright just tried to give my bf a little handjob after weeks of nothing only for him to check his phone in the middle of it and go like ooops it's late I should get up and then just get up???

So anyways now I'm imagining Eddie bc he would never ever just leave his girl like that. He'd miss every single thing, no matter how important just to stay in bed with her in the morning and let her love on him

He checked his phone?! He got up?!

Me @ your bf fr (ง •̀_•́)ง

I’m so sorry that’s so rude!! You should talk to him about it because what the actual fuck? I understand couples going through dry periods. (Trust me been there done that) But to do that and then just leave? Idk why he wasn’t into the hj but he should be appreciative 😤So moving on to Eddie bc that’s what you came for lol

Eddie would absolutely never, he would be all in 1000% of the time. He would LOVE that you wanted to initiate things after a lull. He would be obsessed with his girl. He would want to be with her in bed all of the time!! It’s his happy place! Eddie would be wrapped around your finger from the moment you walked into his life, so much so that he would be missing dnd and appointments, sometimes work and school but you would yell at him for being irresponsible, and the last thing he wants is to disappoint you. Eddie would love his girl so hard. So any chance he gets to show her, whether that’s time together, gifts, or physically he is down bad all of the time!

#TJ’s mailbox #so you want me to fight said boyfriend? #bc I will #(ง •̀_•́)ง

[muppetmilf]

i know i dropped off the face of the earth but past all the shit i outlined in my last post that has gone wrong, i also got very sick with covid over christmas and racked up some medical expenses (nothing serious i can cover those) and on christmas day i found out that my apartment had pipes burst in the ceiling. we are the top apartment and it caused MAJOR damage to not only our apartment but the two apartments below us, and my roommate left the heat off when he left (accidentally) so we’re entirely liable. i’ve got to go back to school soon and currently we’re still on the lease but it won’t be habitable until at least mid-feb, i have to find alternative housing until then and i’m in a mid-sized city so options are slim on short notice AND expensive where they do exist, if we stay on the lease we still have to pay full rent and if we terminate i’ll have to find somewhere else to live in a place where housing is ridiculously expensive (i really don’t want to terminate the lease but my roommates do atp, trying to talk them out of it but i don’t want to force anything either). we also have to pay for the housing accommodations of the people below us and whatever our insurance doesn’t cover from damages. we’ve also been informed that they might dispute and try not to pay, so on top of ALL of this other shit we’ve been contacting lawyers so we don’t get absolutely fucked over. i am so immensely stressed about my living situation, my finances, and now my physical health even more so than i usually am because the stress has caused a flare and i’m having new symptoms, i went to my rheumatologist today and he’s concerned and i have to get another mri (but realistically i’m just going to have to skip it because i don’t have the money) and he recommended physical therapy which i also cannot afford. my family is solidly middle class but this has completely gone over what we can afford.

this is a fucking novel but if you got to the end thanks for reading, and if anyone knows where i can ask for financial aid i would REALLY appreciate it because i am so lost (other than tumblr i don’t do social media and i haven’t been on here lately bc i’ve just been trying to stay afloat since like november). i doubt many ppl on tumblr could help bc i don’t think most of us have much money so anything from anywhere is appreciated, i’ll make accounts if i need to. i might make a formal post here anyways and see what comes of it, i am absolutely desperate, i had to get an airbnb for the first two weeks of the semester and it was almost 900 dollars (!!!) which i had to put on a credit card :( and my monthly rent is 700 and because we are considered liable we still have to pay that if we keep the apartment. i feel sick to my stomach constantly omg

#i can’t edit this for rambling very sorry for the way this is formatted #i truly and sincerely hope you guys have had better luck than me these past few months #personal

[starsarefire824]

Heeey moot! Just woke up! Even though I'm late, I just wanted to say that you deserve to write whatever tf you want and I'm sorry some peeps were harassing you about The Pact. I don't think folks know how hard it is to not only write, but then to post it for others to see. So, for them to criticize you when it's just a fun fic that they can ignore or filter out (tags on ao3 are meant to be used geez) its wild to me. You're doing something very unique with the characters and including a lot of different subgroups of the queer community splendidly while keeping them flawed like real teens - all in 1 fic. As a demi ace myself, I was so happy to see you incorporate that in your fic respectively and a lot of my queer Sex Ed came from detailed, researched fics bc even though my parents and school system talked to me about sex, there was nothing for the queer kids, let alone ace kids to get guidance on. So, for fic readers/writers like me, using fics to explore sexuality was a godsend.

Can't help but also think it's the biphobia kicking in again, specifically for characters like Mike. No one has a problem hc Max as bi even though it seems like lumax is clearly endgame over elmax or elumax, but when it comes to Mike being bi it's like the world is ending despite it clearly being byler endgame. I personally ship all hcs of Mike's sexuality cuz only Robin and Will have been confirmed queer. Everyone else in ST to me is undisclosed until stated straight or queer. But again that's me.

Also love your poly rep cuz my sib is poly and so were some of my grandma's cousins from 1950s-now. So, again, all or most sexualities explored in fics is a must, regardless if you ship it. I've always been a polypartycule shipper and enjoy how you include all party members and mention Duzie sometimes cuz too many times I found fics/hcs excluding the fact Dustin has a stable relationship with Suzie in favor of just highlighting byler and elumax as the romantic ones of the party.

Sorry for the rant but I had to let it out. I hated scrolling through my feed and seeing that post you made of folks getting heated over fiction like you're gonna convince the Duffers to change the whole script. Anyways I hope my support is felt. This is still me typing in a sleep daze and yeah. I'll continue reading your work cuz I enjoy good writers first and foremost and omg lol you made it having some harrassers cuz the greatest books were on the banned book list. Not saying you deserve the irrational hate, but that's how I'm framing it - this is giving "banned book energy" just cuz The Pact is exploring romantic madwheeler when no one cares about byclair or henderhop or henclair (despite folks labeling El as a lesbian). Anyways, you do you moot be blessed out here

Hello deer moot!!!! <33

Thanks so much for the positive vibes!!! I truly appreciate it. I guess I was just feeling a little let down that a select few people made it so far into a fic and then were angry about the way things were going and/or felt the need for me to tell them the ending. At first it didn't bother me, but after answering the same questions 1,000 times and trying to sort of reassure everyone it got to a point of being exhausting! I want to talk about the fic, but I don't really want to have to defend my writing/story/ship choices every chapter. It's kind of exhausting and was bringing me down a little bit. But anyway, enough about that.

I am SO GLAD that you are like...really vibing with some of the choices in that story? Especially with your unique pov being demi ace and having poly family. I think that fanfiction can be a very important tool for a lot of teen when it comes to exploring sex, especially if it's not a cis het-normative type or even just....dealing with sex from a young person's pov and all of the obstacles that everyone faces in that regard. Also, I think it can just open up a conversation or make a person think about things that maybe they might not of before etc etc. Or! They can just enjoy those scenes for the writing/good time. I'm here for all of it.

I'm not sure if it's a biphobia thing? It honestly hadn't occurred to me, but you may possibly be right. I know a lot of people headcanon Mike as gay, which I fully support. I wouldn't be surprised if that is the case. I think if Byler happens in canon, he'll be unlabeled. BUT I do like to write Mike as bi, I personally think that there were feelings for El at some point. I personally headcanon him as a bi-romantic, and sexually leaning towards men. But that's just me....

But anyway, as that pertains to madwheeler, I also really enjoy the bi for bi Max and Mike dynamic, specifically because it's fun to write, and secondly it's another thing to add to their already similar personalities. And yea. I agree... unless a character's sexuality is specifically stated like El and Will's, there is room for exploration for most characters and that's what fanfic and art is for.

I do think there is this strange thought process regarding bi characters, that if they have a relationship with a person of the opposite sex it's like they're not "queer enough" for other people. Like it's somehow lesser than if Mike has a relationship with a woman, even though he already, in canon, is well, with a woman. And that people tend to forget that people are still bi, still queer, even if they are in the most outwardly straight presenting relationship, cause let's face it....you can't really help who you're attracted to and who you fall in love with. it just is.

And when it comes to the madwheeler in this fic, I am fully aware it is one of the least popular ships out there, but again, that is one of the reasons I wanted to explore it. And a a bi, poly person my self it was really interesting putting these characters in a dynamic where they were both involved with people of differing genders and orientations. It gives you a lot to work with when it comes to having things to write about! シ

And as you said, it also allows for some messy, realistic teenage angst! Which I am always a fan of! ;)

Anyway, thank you for the rant. I appreciate it so much, and am honestly still blown away by the positive responses to this story. Even if it's not everyone's cup of tea!

#anon asks #dear moot <3

[circuses-and-childhoodtrauma]

Hi! Just wanted to say I love your blog (And Drex) and I was just wondering if we could hear some headcanons or like literally anything you'd like to say regarding Drex or his and Ray's ex-partnership! (Also I absolutely adore your art) Thank you!!

OMG i have literally so many headcanons about their partnership pre-drex’s incarceration bc it’s never explored in the show. First off let me say tysm for appreciating my art <3, I haven’t been able to draw much HDF stuff lately with school hittin’ hard but i’m glad people are enjoying what’s there. Anyway, here are some of the hcs that come from the top of my head about these two. (By the way, I don’t want this to be misinterpreted. I see their relationship as completely platonic, basically a “failed” vers or Henry and Ray)

Ray trained Drex for about a year (only 6 months as his official sidekick), but never let him fight crime because he was too worried Drex would slip up and get hurt. This lack of trust instantly gives their relationship turbulence. He took his fight with Drex (and the knowledge of how capable Drex was despite Ray’s refusal to let him fight actual crime) as a lesson for next time, and that’s why he let’s Henry fight crime with him almost immediately after becoming his sidekick.

Ray gave Drex his first bandana. It’s mentioned in the show that Ray had told him they looked good, and you can see in my young drex design that he wears a Captain Man themed one. Ray gives it as a gift when Drex is having trouble seeing past his bangs in training. Ray tells him he looks kickass

Drex spent most of his nights in the Man Cave, with a distant family that didn’t seem to care what he was doing, he often made excuses to stay late training until one day Ray gave him a bed to sleep there. They never actually talked about the obvious implications of Drex’s lack of a substantial homelife, talking about heavy stuff was never really their thing.

Ray never visited Drex in prison, but he always, always kept tabs on him. He told himself it was to make sure the boy, and later man, never escaped, but really he felt responsible for Drex, as if somehow the boy’s turn to evil was a result of his own failure. He made sure to always keep an eye on his biggest regret.

Drex was the one who showed Ray the bakery for the first time after a long day of training. When he got incarcerated, Ray couldn’t bring himself to go back on his own.

I think I’ve mentioned this one before, but Drex and Ray’s original Man Cave was destroyed in their fight (I think this is said in a interview with Tommy and Cooper somewhere), and I headcanon that Drex made the ruins of the old Man Cave his base when he escaped prison. He’s never been one to hold things for their sentimental value, but even when looking at the ruins made dull anger bubble like acid in his veins, he’d found he couldn’t quite let the place go.

Thanks for asking, that’s all I have off the top of my head! Sorry I answered this ask a bit late lol I’ve been busy.

#henry danger #ray manchester #drex stinklebaum #drex #danger force #posting this in chem bc he's more important

[jovalencia]

forgot to tell you guys about game night friday btw. hope somebody was interested bc I’ll tell you man it was actually quite fun.

sarah suitemate and I were the only women there which was kind of weird and I was the only sober person there which was also weird but it did make it very entertaining. somebody announced that it was officially the next day (april 15) and I was like “yo it’s the anniversary of the titanic sinking” then these four guys started asking me a bunch of questions about the titanic so I spent like fifteen minutes answering all these guys’ burning questions about the titanic and how it sank etc etc and they seemed genuinely interested and it was a good time. that goes hand and hand with the time when sarah suitemate, the guy who’s definitely into me, and the bisexual guy were all organizing cards and I was explaining the chuck e cheese podcast I had just listened to to them while we cleaned up. I told this guy there that he looks like Jeff from yellowjackets and I showed him a picture and everybody was like “yeah he does” because he does and he asked me what the show was about so I said it’s about a girls soccer team who’s plane crashes in the canadian wilderness and they have to cannibalize each other. and I think he only heard the word “soccer” because he goes “oh so like ted lasso?” this same guy also spilled an entire bag of cheese it’s on the floor. we were listening to like rap music or whatever and the guy who was on aux was upstairs and fucking viva la vida by coldplay came on and we were all like “what the fuck is this man” and my friend stole aux then the music guy came back downstairs eight shots deep and was like “who the FUCK is on aux” meanwhile guy who’s definitely into me is queuing reggaeton songs. then music guy starts asking me what I listen to and I was like “probably not stuff you like” and he was like “okay bet I like everything” so I said “fall out boy” and he went “FUCK YEAH” then tried to dap me up. and when I tell you literally every single person sitting around that table was looking at him like “dude what the hell are you doing.” later in the night that same guy was giving me the fucking third degree asking me why I don’t drink like dude just ask me more about the titanic. at some point I went upstairs to put my jacket in my room and I tripped over our very inconveniently placed recycle bin and I was like “man this recycle bin, amiright?” to my roommate and she was like “yeah…….” and she absolutely thought I was drunk since it was so late for me to be out (11:30pm lol) and I’m with sarah suitemate who, if you’ll recall, my roommate reported to the school for having alcohol. anyways I talked to this guy who went to the same high school as all my friends about how his aunt was on american idol and all the toys we played with growing up and he was so chill but jeff yellowjackets kept trying to join the conversation like cmon man I’m chatting with buddha. yes his name was buddha. I also talked to guy who’s definitely into me and two other guys about the chess renaissance and guy who’s into me started talking to me about how there needs to be more women in his chess club bc feminism and I feel like that was blatant pandering since one of the jokes I’d been saying all night was just accusing the guys of being misogynists whenever they said anything even slightly rude or competitive so sarah or I. anyways yeah the night was fun and I learned how to play bs and I wasn’t even the worst player there. also there were two times when I tried to leave (bc I didn’t know how to play bs and I didn’t wanna play charades) and everybody was like “no carmen don’t go we love having you here!” and I felt very appreciated. afterwards when I was leaving for real (they were gonna play beer pong and the last thing I needed was to be around these guys while they got more drunk” sarah suitemate pulled me aside to make sure I have fun and I told her I did and she was so excited that I did since she’s been trying to get me to go for months and then she went “I’m pretty tipsy rn but I just want to tell you that I know you think that people don’t like you because you’re weird, but they do. we all really like you” and just. waugh.

#carmen.txt

[moodywyrm]

wear it anyways, you deserve to look cute even if it’s hot 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

that’s so??? like i can understand not buying everyone a ticket but then just not telling you guys to buy your own ?? what did he expect

it was so good omg,, it’s this lil italian place we go to a lot and it’s such a nice atmosphere 🤭 and you can see the ferris wheel and the pier !! so pretty

aw i’m sorry :( but there’s nothing wrong with not writing !! especially because school is over, i’m sure your brain just needs a little break. you just need to ease yourself back into it! and fries!! those sound yummy :o

my day was good! but i think i’m being switched back to half wfh half in-person which is fine bc what i’m studying requires me to be in-person and hands-on 😭 but other than that it was relaxing, gf and i went to the bookstore for a lil while and then to a cafe 💕 nd we got binx some lil treats, he’s a very happy lil guy rn

- 🩷

while I appreciate the sentiment, if I wore my leather jacket in this weather I think I’d get heatstroke 😭😭 so I gotta wait until I get back to college and its cooler 💔

literally he told us he’d buy the row of seats so we could all sit together and then showed up with only one??? super fucking weird man, but it all worked out

that sounds so dreamy n romantic!! I’m so happy for y’all, what a sweet date 💕

yeah I’m just gonna go slow for now :( my brains been all over the place lately, but I do wanna keep writing for my girls 💕

aww not the half and half :( I hope it all goes smoothly!! A bookstore!!! God I can’t wait for my book ban to be over so I can go to bookstores and actually buy books 💔 a happy little guy!!! he deserves it!! he’s been working hard!! Very invested in the Binx saga 💕

#moodythoughts #🩷 anon

[witch-hazels-musings]

hello hello ^^ I saw ur post n i can actually relate to it haha I've been writing on tumblr for almost 3 years now? n I've already deleted the first blog I've ever made bc of the lack of any interaction at all :< (like yea there were notes but nobody really made the effort to talk with me ya know??) so I did another writing blog for another fandom n much more peeps have come n talked with me there but I'm worried I'm losing motivation since my posts arent getting that much interaction:/

but anyway! as somebody who has read ur work for like not exactly a year (but I'm almost there :] ) I will say ur one of the most talented genshin writers ever !! like,, I think the first fic I've ever read about u was the albedo fix where he blew up on the reader ehe idk the angst you wrote was just sooo beautiful I actually started crying ^^ n that's what I love about ur content, u write so beautifully, ur characterizations are on point and I cant help but reread ur stories to the point that I can actually memorize it lmao

n I have to say I started liking diluc very much solely bc of the way you write him?? like I'm so in love with him now bc I remember the way you've written him :)) n you know? ur like such a nice person in general djdjdjd I mean even if I'm awkward n all shy sliding into inboxes (I've only requested in one event I think) I'm so happy seeing u interact with everybody ^^ n honestly i admire you so much bc I'm not that confident in my writing so like i just read a lit of ur stuff n marvel at how well you consistently write!

I'm sure alot of us here feel the same way about u miss hazel ^^ ur really talented and I'm hoping to see you still inspired to write ehe. just be sure to rest alot and stay healthy bc u make my day (I hope this ask wasnt too long?? n I hope it made u smile hehe^^)

That’s a long time to be writing! I’m sure you’ve had so much practice over that time, I envy how dedicated you are -- though I’m sad to hear about you deleting a blog, it hurts to see that happen to people who love something. (I do want to say I’ve noticed slow downs lately, but considering your fandom, it could be impacted heavily by school (finals are rouuuugh on a lot of people))

wait waiit - that’s the first one you read >< i’m sorry!! that fic was so painful to write! Albedo getting upset at the reader broke my heart T>T (at least he has a lot more good stories now, poor bedo and reader) -- I seem to bring many to the Diluc side; I can’t help it, he’s got a hold on my heart and never letting go!

thank you for your kindness friend. in both me as a person and my works, I appreciate your words and reassurances. I will say that confidence in works you make might not always be around (sometimes I’m super happy with something and other times I’m not) but remember creators are our own worst critics - all we have is to keep trying, keep practicing, and moving forward (I hope people remind you how good your stuff is! it’s the small things that make a difference, am i right ;) <3 )

#hazelmail #vent elixir #coffee elixir #thank you for the love! #i really appreciate you sending something in #I'm sure your words will connect with more than just me #we gotta stick together #as writers we need to support one another #so don't give up okay #i'm rooting for you!

[cheekblush]

hi my girl.

it’s been a while, i can only sincerely apologise for disappearing on you, i promise i always want to mssg you but i hate the thought of making you feel like you have to reply to me … ilysm 🦋🦋🦋

ik you’ve been going through it recently .. and no, you are not wrong to feel uncomf abt your friend’s friend tagging along, your friend should’ve asked your first at least … but i hope it goes well anyway 😞💓

never forget, you’re so strong, so brave and so full of joy and the universe is a better place bc of YOU !!!! ✨

i hope you and your family are well my sweetheart 🌷🌟💕

ahhhhhhhhh my guardian angel 👼🏻💘🥹

i missed you sooooo much 🥺 but no need to apologize at all!! it's my fault for always taking so long to reply to your messages tbh 😔 i honestly would've understood if you never messaged me again given how long i made you wait for replies sometimes & the messages that are still unanswered in my ask box 🙃 i'm the one who should be apologizing!! i really didn't expect to hear from you again so this message was so unexpected and made me incredibly happy!! the fact that after all this time you still think about me and check in on me makes me feel immensely emotional, honored and most of all loved 🥹💖 and as always you appear when i need you the most... you truly are heaven sent! 🌟 thankfully the situation got resolved bc the girl decided not to join us after all bc she doesn't want to spend so much money. ngl i was very relieved when my friend told me this bc that's what i was hoping for on the inside 🙈 and i've been going through a lot of stress and health issues due to school but i had my last exam yesterday and on monday my 3 week easter holidays start so i'm looking forward to that!! unfortunately i'll have to prepare for my final exams but at least i'll get a break from school. although it's been a very tiring week, now i'm just excited for the weekend trip with my friend! how have you been doing my angel? please update me on your life if you'd like of course 💌 as always i cannot thank you enough for your kindness, support and love! thank you for staying by my side after all this time, i really appreciate it. i still feel so undeserving of your presence in my life especially after leaving you hanging with so many late replies/unanswered messages.. so the fact that you still care about me and shower me with so much love is truly incredible to me. i don't deserve your immense kindness but i hope you know how much i cherish you and how grateful i am that you showed up in my life 🥺💘 i could go on and on about how thankful i am to you but ultimately no words will ever suffice to properly thank you for everything you've done for me. just know that your appearance in my life has saved me multiple times and given me so much hope, guidance and faith 🤍✨🕊 i hope you and your loved ones are healthy and happy. please take care of yourself angel 💗 i hope this spring treats you gently and brings you sunshine, blue skies, beautiful flowers and chirping birds 🌷🦋☀️🍓🐝🧺🧁🐦🌱🧋🍒🌸🍈🌈🩰💫

#as always i cannot shut up.... #didn't go to school today bc i have a horrible headache.. this week has been truly exhausting #but at least i was able to reply to you finally! otherwise it would've been a very busy day #i still need to go to work in the afternoon so hopefully my headache is gone by then #i also still need to pack & get a lot of things done before my trip #i just hope everything goes well ❣ #my guardian angel 👼🏼 #replies #when sad #keep forever 🗝