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idontknowreallywhy · 4 months

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Estera - Ch 30 - Introduce

It’s been a while… nearly a fortnight, but they’re back ;)

What went before

I struggled with this one, dunno why, but most of the good ideas and one-liners are down to @sofasurf! So much so I’m tagging her in for the next one.

This chapter is 100% silly friends being silly and daft brothers being daft because everyone needs to let their hair down once in a while… And they need a break before anything else falls on anyone…

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…

The three “your contact is typing” dots bounced for a while then stopped. Then bounced again. Then stopped.

She put the phone down and continued to make breakfast but within moments picked it up again, intrigued. What was he taking so long to write?

…

How’s your day?

…

Did you know stress balls are not actually indestructible???

Um, yeah - I’m a primary school teacher. That’s basically day 1 of training.

Huh.

I sense there is a story behind this… sharing is caring you know?

THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE INDESTRUCTIBLE!

O….K…. Imagine me saying generic reassuring things and patting you on the shoulder.

My shoulder is covered in stress ball goop. But thank you, that weirdly helps.

🤭 oh dear… that stuff is a beast to wash out

Well there’s another Italian tailor I have to avoid for the rest of my life…

Not again!

I have glitter in my hair 😭

I’m sure it looks beautiful. I’ll ask one of your brothers to send me a photo.

I’m not getting out the shower until it’s gone.

You will literally starve to death.

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So today I had to confiscate an action figure which had Alan’s head, John’s torso and your limbs. Should I be concerned about these children?

That’s… horrifying. I’m never coming back to the UK. 😲

They all say hi by the way.

I’m too scared to say hi back to them now 😬

On the topic of the action figures…

Yes?

I have to know - what WAS wrong with Gordon’s novelty action figure of you? You never told me…

You don’t want to know.

Oh I really really do.

…

Oh go on, I’ll only be imagining worse.

…

The figure was making pancakes while wearing a frilly blue “Kiss The Chef” apron.

That doesn’t seem so bad?

Only the apron.

Oh my… 🤣

Speak of this to no-one.

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Hey Estera, got any plans this evening?

Aside from vegging out with Bez and watching Celebrity Alligator Wrestling?

I mean I wouldn’t want to tear you away from that…

I could be persuaded… :)

Well, we happen to be in Europe right now (John had a thing) and Penny is visiting some Earl near Exeter and suggested we pop by and go out for a drink.

John’s not Earthside very often so she takes whatever chances she can get to catch up with him (they are old college friends, did I ever mention that?)

ANYWAY as it’s not far from you I wondered whether you might like to join us?

Oh wow thank you that’s very kind of you to think of me! It would be lovely to meet John and Lady Penelope if you’re sure I wouldn’t be intruding?

Of course not!

Virgil is with us too and says you have to come because he’s already bored with mine and John’s company.

Ok, I must now tell you that he did not in fact use those exact words.

Or to say that.

Apparently I am maddening.

Hi Estera, it’s Virgil. Please ignore what my idiot brother is saying. It would be lovely to see you if you’d like to come but please don’t feel any pressure.

Girjebvaxbnnnnn&&&&&&&

It’s Scott again, I’ve retrieved my comm. Sorry about my annoying TINY LITTLE BABY sibling who snatches things that aren’t his.

😂 I think I’m sold. I can get to Exeter in an hour? Where and when should I meet you?

John says the place is near the Cathedral - send a message when you get there and I’ll come and find you?

Fab! Ok I shall do that.

Ha!

What?

F-A-B is kind of a thing for us.

Oh! Oh I should have known that!

Reuben and Alex refuse to use any other affirmative words.

Why though?

Long story, tell you later maybe.

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Estera rounded the corner of the cathedral and yelped as a strong gust nearly ripped her arm off in its determination to steal her umbrella. She wrestled it back and ducked into the shelter of the huge doorway only to conclude she should have let the wind take it as it was no longer any use to anyone other than as an art piece. “Mangled: A study in nylon and flimsy aluminium” perhaps. She tucked it under her arm and pulled out her phone:

Hi! I’m on The Green :) Don’t worry about coming out in all this, just let me know where you are and I’ll find you.

On my way!

Scott! It’s chucking it down! Just give me directions or somewhere to aim for.

I like the rain!

You’re a nutter.

A what?

… err British for ‘totally normal and rational’.

OK I will take your word for that and begin using ‘nutter’ regularly in a professional context.

Um… sure. I see no issues arising there.

😝 alright then

I think I see you!

She looked up and laughed as she spotted a lanky figure silhouetted against a streetlamp waving enthusiastically from across the green. She raised her arm in greeting, pulled her hood tighter around her face and then jogged towards him. She started out dodging the huge puddles with strictly limited success then gave up in favour of a direct route, swerving off course just the once to dump the useless brolly in a waste bin.

As soggy as she felt she was by the time their paths met, she wasn’t a patch on the drowned-but-grinning rat bouncing gently on his toes before her, hair plastered to his forehead and shirt clinging to him in a way she was relieved Barbara the receptionist couldn’t see.

Wait, shirt?

“Scott! I KNOW you own a coat.”

He waved a hand dismissively. “It always takes so long to dry the thing out. Cotton is fast.”

“Aren’t you freezing?”

“Nope!” He grinned and produced an umbrella with a flourish, pressing a button to automatically extend and open it and then raising it over her head in one smooth motion. The little squeak he emitted as he did so was anything but smooth however.

“Did I just hear an excited giggle from Mr Commander Tracy?”

“Also nope. Definitely not. Unrelatedly aren’t these just-press-the-button-and-SWOOSH-it’s-an-umbrella umbrellas just the best kind of umbrellas?”

Estera raised an eyebrow and wondered with amusement how many drinks he’d managed to put away already. “Certainly beats mine which I just ditched back there…” she looked at him smiling down at her from very much outside the umbrella’s zone of protection, water streaming down his face “although, given you have such a swanky brolly why did you not actually use it?”

“I told you, I like the rain.”

Estera raised an eyebrow. “Well, you’d do well living here then, we get a lot of it.” Shuddering slightly she shook water out of her sleeve. “Shall we get where we’re going before we grow gills?”

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“He’s going to get absolutely soaked isn’t he?”

Virgil watched his elder brother stroll casually towards the doorway and then launch himself out into the rain like an excited puppy. He couldn’t help smiling fondly.

“You know what he’s like about rain, John. Anyway the wet shirt look isn’t going to do him any harm is it…?”

“VIRGIL! Honestly you’re impossible.” John’s facepalm was a masterpiece.

“Well, before he brings this young lady back, somebody had best update me on what, exactly, we believe her status is.”

“Virgil is convinced they are an item. Scott denies it.”

“I didn’t say that. I just think she’s good for him. He is happy. I like that. So I’m inclined to like her. And if we’re about to meet our future sister-in-law that’s fine by me.”

Penelope chuckled, Virgil the hopeless romantic was certainly living up to expectation. John was frowning slightly however and that intrigued her.

“What do you think, John darling?”

“I’m interested in what has him so… interested. They seem to spend a lot of time talking, yet all I can see they have in common is shared trauma and an unhealthy approach to adrenaline.”

“That is more than many people have when beginning a friendship, John. That doesn’t mean it is all there will ever be. Look at you and I, all we had in common was the inability to escape the weight of our surnames and yet we’ve had some superb times.”

John smiled and raised his lemonade in a silent toast.

“Well, I’m excited” Virgil commented. “Let’s not scare her by being too… you know.” he gestured vaguely.

“Excellent social etiquette tip, there, thank you Virgil.” his brother muttered.

Penelope smiled into her cocktail. This was going to be an interesting evening.

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“You ok?”

Estera had slowed almost imperceptibly as they approached the door to the boutique pub Penny had selected and Scott paused as they reached the shelter of the porch, his hand resting on the heavy oak door.

“Yes! Uh, a little nervous I guess? Last time I spoke to John I was… rather embarrassing.”

“Aww, no you weren’t. You were just worried about me and that’ll go in your favour I promise. It’s pretty much a family pastime from what I can make out…” he pulled an exaggerated grimace and got a little smile in response.

“I can imagine.” She appeared to be steeling herself.

“They don’t bite, I promise. But…” he touched her shoulder lightly and ducked down a little to look her in the eye “if you’d rather not… we could go somewhere else and I can catch up with them later?”

“Oh goodness no. I’m looking forward to it. Honestly, I am! Let’s go inside, it’s freezing out here.”

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“Hey look, John, Estera found a drowned puppy!”

“Goodness, doesn’t it look tragic?”

Penelope leaned backwards away from Scott as he responded to his brothers’ banter by shaking himself like a dog and showering the table with droplets from his hair before wringing his sleeve out down the back of Virgil’s collar who himself yelped like Sherbet in a snowdrift.

“Right for that you’re buying the next round big brother.”

“And this is novel, how?”

His friend hung back a little, watching the interaction with a mixture of amusement and mild confusion. Penelope gestured to Estera to take a seat beside her and cut across the brotherly jibing:

“Might it be an appropriate moment to introduce us Scott?”

The supposedly eldest and most mature of the pack looked up from where he’d flung his arms around John’s neck in what was clearly a weaponised soggy hug and smiled impishly before moving over and crouching down next to Estera’s chair.

“Estera, this is Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward - she is as lovely as she is fabulous and I’m sure you’ll get along.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that for a moment. And please call me Penny!”

Estera smiled and offered a hand which Penny grasped with both of hers and gave her a conspiratorial wink.

Scott cleared his throat importantly “Next, I am delighted to present for your approval Annoying-Little-Brother-One who also goes by don��t-call-me-Johnny”

“Ha. Ha. Scooter. It’s a pleasure to meet you in person, Estera, although why you are wasting your time in the company of this absolute fool I cannot fathom.”

“And last but very much not least, either in importance or sheer bulk, here is Annoying-Little-Brother-Two who we refer to as short-stuff, the-tank, care-bear or, occasionally, Virgil”

Virgil leaned across the table to shake her hand. “You do realise what an insufferable creature our eldest brother is don’t you?”

“Oh yes, spotted that one straight away.”

Scott clutched his chest and gasped “I am hurt! A plague o’ both houses! I am sped!” before collapsing on to his back with melodramatic flailing and a range of choking noises before lying still with his tongue lolling and eyes rolled back.

Penelope giggled delicately while Estera tutted and rolled her eyes.

“You still have a couple of paragraphs of monologue before you’re allowed to expire, Mercutio. C+ must try harder.”

Scott pouted while John held up his hand for a high five.

Penelope caught Virgil’s eye and he grinned.

“Death doesn’t get you out of your round big bro. Get your soggy butt off the floor and over to the bar while we fill Estera in on some key anecdotes.”

Scott’s expression of dread wasn’t melodrama at all.

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#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #idontknowreallywhy fanfic #tb estera #estera #Scott Tracy #Virgil Tracy #John Tracy #lady penelope #Scott Tracy needs a friend #umbrellas are cool #Shameless cross referencing to other fic

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kinokoshoujoart · 6 days

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cora’s bad time hell simulation steps or how to play “sprite station for girl” “harvest moon ds cute” the wrong way

(all ways are wrong this game is Accursed)

ok so here’s what my disorganized “guide” to myself for harvest moon ds for girl (aka indecipherable notes i wrote to myself as i played and revised as i tested various things and restarted due to mistakes) looks like. at some point when i become a real gamer i will write a legible guide meant for eyes to look at but uhhh this is how i play this accursed game personally

i’m not sure if anything i wrote will make any sense since i wrote it as notes to myself so probably definitely use fogu and fc2 jonason wiki (may not work but some pages should be archived) instead

ALSO if you’ve never played or barely played the game it won’t make sense at all! hmds was my first harvest moon so i am used to various horrors!

my play style is probably not fun in general HOWEVER if you are a grinding hell goblin like me then it’s GREAT!!!! if not you may still find it amusing that the game gives you permission to play like this

(it’s a great background task game while doing like productive stuff but otherwise playing this way would probably be unbearable)

(image limit)

anyway after that the days go a lot faster, you’ll get the island on summer 1, so on spring 30 i put all my money into million G tickets and sell 200 of em, do the 5x money thing, and save the rest. so when thomas comes the next day to sell you the 900 million G island you can just sell 180 tickets and do the 5x money thing again with like ~600 million G tickets left over. it takes up inventory but you’ll get the shelf in a few days. basically you just need to remember to order from the TV shopping every saturday and place orders with gotz and gray whenever they finish stuff.

random tips

after unlocking the fuckass hot spring sprites (the ones that require you to spend a total of 700 1 hour sessions in the hot springs) i usually grind grazing points— if you put your animals outside for 5 hours you get a “Love Point”, but if you interact with them after they earn that LP then the timer switches over and you can get another LP after 5 more hours. if you wear the time ring the whole time it’s 2.5 hours. i’m not very good at explaining this but basically if you’re super efficient you can get way more animal LP than you realistically should, which is great because the touch glove petting minigame is Bad!!!!

i usually wait on getting the rest of the purple sprites (the ones that require you to hire the purple team and ask for healing) until i’m totally done with the indigo team, cuz i wanna get HG’s purple heart event asap, but you can switch the order if you want

by summer y1 you’ll basically have a feel for everything. aside from Skye, Leia, HG and WP everyone can be married early-mid autumn if you want

if you want to Gay (in the japanese version only) keira is the quickest to marry. leia is the quickest to max affection but it’s impossible to get leia year 1 because the bottle you need to fish up can only be caught in spring. you have to wait until at least year 5 for WP and iirc year 6 for HG.

#i’m really sorry i can’t make this more organized #if i literally ever have time i’ll just make a video guide instead of pasting this because it’s easier to explain with visuals….#i can’t Write in an organized way i can only Visual Medium #i have a very complicated relationship with corobuckle station for girl #it scratches my brain #(derogatory)#(positive)#i have no idea how many hours of HMDS i’ve played in my life but it’s definitely the game i’ve played the most of all time #i’ll just paraphrase something i read on a japanese wiki for hmds/koroste a long time ago:#’i once again feel that the effort required for the completion of the task is unreasonable’#god i really hope ds gets a remake so all of the titles you can get in the mailbox become steam achievements #bokumono #if people find out there are achievements that take at minimum real life decades to complete with basically no reward #gamers will lose their minds and society will collapse #‘trying to accomplish it is like trying to collect a sparrow’s tears #so at some point it may be inevitable that you have to give up trying’#i really think the devs saw the ds could handle higher values than gba and went insane without considering balance at all #currently i’m trying to record as many cutscenes as i can in the jp version since y’know. english translation is very awkward #i am also trying to see if the pastor carter/cardi marriage option exists in the english version of cute #i will update so stay tuned for that if you want sex on the phone with pastor cardi b. i guess

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legon751 · 7 months

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working on a new vegas doctor costume

first 2 pics are the main bag, the rest of the costume pieces (and my thoughts) are under the break

healing powder (crushed orange pez and candy cigarettes in a burlap bag), ophthalmoscope (a weathered otoscope because the item name in the game is wrong), sunset sarsaparilla deputy badge (worth every dead wastelander), surgical tubing, medical tweezers, forceps, gauze, mentats, fixer, jet, med-x, buffout, rad-x, and cateye. also a small mojave express mail pouch with some ncr currency, postcards, and the platinum chip (might roughen some of these up to look less new)

all of these bags are belt pouches to mimic the ones on the wasteland doctor fatigues outfit

bufftats (not new vegas, but eh, it came with the other pill bottles), first aid box (came with the med-x, it has tiny buffout and rad-x bottles in it), and a box of atomic wrangler matches

microfusion cell and vault 21 matches

cigarettes and a vault 21 lighter (you see how often doctors smoke in that game??? clearly they need this many lights)

gotta keep your caravan deck in easy reach, never know when a game might kick off...

bobby pins, a tin of bottle caps, tops casino dice, and a set of poker chips (ring a ding ding baby)

the "codac r9000" michael angelo gives you. even if these old kodak cameras are dirt cheap, i still feel bad messing one up to make it look more like the game file, so natural aging only on this one

the main costume itself: mirrored shades, the wastland doctor fatigues (green cargo pants and a white tee, need to dirty them up and blood spatter them), bandana, leather belt, and a replica colt peacemaker in a leather holster (i have a foam one for conventions, this one is a metal replica from denix that looks better on camera)

i have the materials to make rad-away, and i might throw that in this costume somehow. just worried about a bag of dyed water sitting over the rest of these sharp and/or fragile pieces while walking around

i went with a variety of bags/pouches because in my head, it makes no sense for someone using 200yo scavenged materials to have all matching equipment. it makes sense from the game design perspective (less Things To Model), but i see it more likely these were pieced together from scavenging, bartering, and hand making them.

i have the pipboy from the fo4 preorder, but im probably not going to use it for this outfit. its the wrong design for one, but its also plasticy and barely fits my arm (you have to basically cover my hand to get the clamps closed). i prefer this being pre-game courier six, or just some random wandering doctor who does odd jobs for mojave express on the side.

you might notice some major missing props! this mostly has to do with space or cost. i love nuka cola and sunset sarsaparilla, but how on earth am i fitting those bottles in a shoulder bag. as for stimpacks? 2 main reasons. 1, even basic unpainted 3d printed ones are $30+, which seemed excessive for this. 2? those seem more like adrenaline and painkillers meant to get you through battle and less like something a doc would administer. why cover the pain when i can just clean the wound and stitch you up?

im still debating if/how i do the leather gaiters on the doctor fatigues outfit. i cant find anything even close to right, and im not a leatherworker. i have a feeling if i just tuck the pants into my boots, nobody will notice anyway.

i have to stop myself on this one. i keep finding things to add or modify and at this rate itll never be finished. i already have a pair of surgical scissors coming, and i got a harmonica today. those may or may not end up in the bag. plus, ive got my eye on a deck of caravan cards pulled from the game files. the one i have is the preorder bonus one which is a beautiful deck but not very lore friendly.

still trying to figure out how to make/get the bottles they use for antivenom and other potions/poisons in the game. its weirdly hard to find white clay or stone bottles with a cork top and round bottom...

see what i mean! this build will never end...

#fallout new vegas #new vegas #cosplay #costume #courier six #fallout

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astrobolical · 6 months

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A (Hopefully) Helpful Guide to What in "Hell" is Bad?

Part 5 - Shop, Secret Shop, Inventory and Management

Last Updated: Oct 30, 2023

I have a mild love of documentation (okay, it’s a problem) and I find it fun— so here we go! I’ve hopefully written out most of the options you’ll encounter while playing, as I know it’s been a confusing start with the game coming out in the state that it did.

And let’s be real here, most gacha-style games can feel overwhelming at first, especially if you’re new to them overall. It happens, and with all the questions I’ve seen floating about, I wanted to maybe help someone out, as well as have some fun. Or this’ll flop, either way, still fun.

There will absolutely be things I’ve missed, or glossed over— or even gotten wrong— so feel free to ask about anything, tell me things, or correct me.

For full transparency— I have spent money on this game, but I have not “whaled” whatsoever. I wanted to test certain things, and I have a strong sense of curiousity.

Looking for another part of the game? Check out the other parts:

Part 1 - General Overview, Achievements and Contracts

Part 2 - My Devils, Levelling, Skills and Artifacts

Part 3 - Chapters, Levels and Dark Sanctuary

Part 4 - Unit Types, Elements, Battle Boards & Battle Tips

Part 5 - You Are Here!

Part 6 - Secret Club (Adore), Secret Club (Unholy Board), Hell-Oh! Talk

The Shop — What’s in it?

As with most mobile games, the shop has a lot of options— I’m going to go over them here, but I’m not going to list each individual item found. The item list in Part 7 will go over any items I’ve come across in more detail.

Disclaimer: Please spend responsibly. Nothing that costs real money is necessary to enjoy this game, and I am not listing these out to entice you (nor am I in anyway associated with PrettyBusy lol), it’s just to let you know what’s there and what to expect.

Exchange Guilty Gem

This is where you can exchange your Guilty Gems (Cash) for the red Guilty Gems we’re more familiar with. The blue Guilty Gems are only available for purchase, and can be exchanged here for their “Free” counterpart in this first area of the shop— it’s the page you’ll open to!

Purchase Guilty Gem

This where you purchase the blue Guilty Gems (Cash) for real money— please spend wisely if you choose to do so! They range from $2.79 for a “Handful of Guilty Gems” (40) to $154.99 for a “Guilty Gem Mountain” (2167 Guilty Gem (Cash) + 650 Guilty Gem (Free)).

Purchasing these is not necessary to enjoy the game, I promise. I actually haven’t at all touched this area of the shop.

Package

This is a large subsection of the Shop, with a lot to look at too. These are packages or monthly subscriptions you can purchase for real money. They’re usually limited on how many times you can purchase them, whether overall, monthly or daily. These were once obtusely overpriced, but they’ve been altered since launch.

I won’t list out every option— because I’m sure the packages will change regularly, but I will make note of the Monthly Supplies that are available — essentially three subscriptions. These subscriptions last for 28 Days and need to manually be collected each day once purchased.

Guilty Gem Monthly Supply

Guilty Gem (Cash) - 157 (ONCE upon purchase)

Guilty Gem (Free) - 30 Daily

Action Power - 120 Daily

Contract Monthly Supply

Guilty Gem (Cash) - 157 (ONCE upon purchase)

Guilty Gem (Free) - 10 Daily

Greater Keys of Solomon - 5 Daily

Development Monthly Supply

Guilty Gem (Cash) - 110 (ONCE upon purchase)

Guilty Gem (Free) - 10 Daily

Strawberry Chocolate Friendship Pretzel - 3 Daily

In all honesty, they’re not that worth it, so don’t feel like you need these, either. It’s good to support PrettyBusy if that’s something you want to do, though, but just know it’s not required to enjoy the game at all.

I primarily wanted to bring these subscriptions up because of the manual collection requirement— it’s easy to forget since they’re tucked away and there’s no reminder.

Exchange House

Another area of the shop with multiple subsections— these ones, though are more interesting, and are from items you can naturally accrue in the game (with a couple exceptions).

A lot of these have some similar items in common, just for a different currency— here’s what you can usually find in here overall:

Tears of Solomon

Greater and Lesser Keys of Solomon

Action Power

Pure Gold & Crowley’s Books

Various promotion materials

Skill improvement materials

Artifact Enhancement Stones

Nightmare Candies

Guilty Gem Exchange House

Note: The free daily present you can find in here counts towards the daily achievement of purchasing something from the shop once!

Yep, this is different than “Exchange Guilty Gem”!

This is using our pretty Guilty Gems (Free) to get in game items. There are a couple packages locked to Guilty Gem (Cash), but not many.

There are unlimited purchases, daily purchases and weekly purchases found within this section. There’s also an “account limit” and a Monthly Limit on some of the (Cash) bundles.

Pancake Exchange House

This is where you’ll exchange the Snickering Pancake item you get when trading in your extra tealeaves from your inventory (getting to that below!). Essentially, if you get a devil more than once, you’re given tealeaves from the second time onward, and you can use these tealeaves to Evolve a devil up to five times. After that though— well, you sell them! I’ll get to the how later, but once you have them you can come to the Pancake exchange to get some items here. Including 30 Lesser Keys daily, if you’ve got the pancakes for it!

(You can also get pancakes from selling artifacts, but early on especially I’d recommend using your artifacts to enhance and evolve the artifacts you want to use.)

Pretzel Exchange House

I’ve yet to find a good source for these, so this will be brief and updated once I have a more solid idea. I’ve primarily gotten mine from rewards or the Secret Club with the rainbow reactions. However, if you’ve got them— spend ‘em here!

Necronomicon Exchange House

Necronomicons are received upon completion of most Dark Sanctuary levels— and here’s where you can use them. Including up to 30 Solomon’s Tears per week. They can take a little to build up, but it’s a worth it shop to visit when you have some.

Event Exchange House

Special temporary shops that appear with events, and use the event specific currency— grind the event, reap the rewards! There is event specific items such as special voice lines or stickers also available. But remember, time is of the essence here, as it won’t be there long.

Passes

Within the shop there’s also various passes— they’re not a store, you don’t buy things from them, but they’re very useful to keep an eye on! Essentially as you progress through the game there’s rewards that can be found and claimed here. The game’s not very transparent about letting you know about these.

Mission Pass

This is a pretty big one, with a new set of goals unlocked each day for 14 Days however there’s no time limit to finish it. There’s a lot of rewards (along the bottom) as you accumulate points, usually a random amount of Lesser/Greater Keys.

At the end you get 500 Greater Keys and a copy of Sitri!

Solomon’s Levelup Support Pass

Note: In order to unlock the second column “Special Reward” there is a price to it. It was lowered since the beginning of the game.

These are rewards for your account growth, meaning as you level up your account you’ll receive bonuses here— including things like Solomon’s Tears. Some level milestones are more exciting than others, though. Still worth it to make sure you go and claim it!

Devil Growth Support Pass

Note: In order to unlock the second column “Special Reward” there is a price to it. It was lowered since the beginning of the game.

Rather than your account, this time it’s milestones for your devils (or, really, the first devil to reach any of them, it doesn’t matter if it’s the same devil or a different one)! As you reach these milestones you’ll get some nice rewards that will help you enhance your devils, or give you some Guilty Gems to spend in the shop!

Secret Shop

This shop is … well, a secret. I’ve gotten it twice in my time playing since launch, and I have yet to learn how to trigger it. You’ll know when you have it— a large purple portal will open on your Home Screen, and there’s some unique and rarer items tucked away within it— including the ability to buy an L-Grade Devil once per month for a hefty price tag of Guilty Gems (Free).

That said, I’ll have to add more details here when I get it again— at the time, this guide wasn’t even a thought yet!

Inventory

Note: If you want to see details of an item, simply tap it in this menu.

All the items you accumulate can be found, and used if applicable, here. Again, I’m not going into individual item details here, but I’ll explain what each pocket of your inventory tucks away for you.

Currency

This holds everything you can “spend” within the game. This includes from the shops, contracts, levelling, etc.

Material

The Materials tab, as it says, holds materials that you will use for levelling your devils. This includes things like the Solomon’s Tears, jellybeans, gummies, hallucination pies, etc. Anything you need to level your devils ends up in here.

Box

Here you’ll find items that you can open— they vary in what exactly is within them. Most times they’re given as rewards for various things— especially from Dark Sanctuary. Make sure to see what you have in here!

There will be two types of “chest” or box that you can open.

Random - This will give you a random type and/or amount of an item depending on what it contains (i.e. type of jellybean, amount of Pure Gold)

Choice - Choose what type of material you receive — these always contain materials for your devils, and you select the type

I do suggest leaving any that say “Choice” alone until you reach a point that you need something specific, though! But make sure to take a look if you weren’t aware of these— the pure gold and Crowley’s books can really build up.

Inventory Management

This is one of the more vague functions found in the game— unfortunate, because getting those snickering pancakes requires you to sell off some items when you can. It’s pretty simple once you know, though— so here’s what to look for.

When you’re on tealeaves (or artifacts, though I don’t recommend selling those) click “Organize” on the right side by sort. This will make the Auto-Select and Sell buttons appear as you see above.

For Tealeaves you can click auto-select and it will automatically select devils’ tealeaves you you have already maxed out, meaning you don’t need to try to remember who you’ve got fully evolved or not. This is why Minhyeok and the A-Grade devil above aren’t selected.

Here’s what you’ll get in pancakes from each grade:

B Grade - 5 Pancakes

A Grade - 10 Pancakes

A+ Grade - 20 Pancakes

S Grade - 80 Pancakes

L Grade - 100 Pancakes

You can also do the exact same thing on the artifact screen. HOWEVER, artifacts will just SELECT EVERYTHING. There is no limitations like you’ll find on tealeaves— so be sure to only select artifacts you’re willing to part with. As I mentioned above, I don’t really recommend selling these over using them as fodder for levelling and evolving other artifacts. Maybe late game, but for early game I’d say don’t.

In Part 6 we’ll cover the Secret Club and Hell-Oh! Talk! (Woo, almost done!)

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb prettybusy #prettybusy what in “hell” is bad?#whb help #whb guide #~Astro Guides

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mindmeltonabun-blog · 1 year

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Alchemy of Souls Part 2 (Eps 29-30): Analysis, Theories, Critique, and Thoughts

Hello Readers,

Let me preface this post by saying thank you to all the cast and crew for all of their hard work and dedication to this rather ambitious project. As for the Hong Sisters, I want to give them my sincerest gratitude for trying to do what other Kdrama writers have not done before. I am sure writing a 30 episodes fantasy kdrama was no easy task! I also want to tell them that I understand their sadness, disappointment, anger, and frustration when it came to not being able to tell the story they had initially planned. I definitely sensed all of these sentiments while watching Part 2. It is ok, Hong Sisters. I hope that in the future, the conditions will be right for you two to be able to tell the story you had intended.

For those who were super invested in AOS as I was, I know many were left completely disappointed by the way Part 2 ended. I was left feeling disheartened just because I had never gotten the ending for a Kdrama completely wrong before. Adding to this, my theories for Part 2 were almost completely wrong. I kept asking myself repeatedly how was it possible for me to get so many theories correct in Part 1, but not Part 2? While talking to my boyfriend the other night, he told me I should not be so hard on myself and that I really should be proud of the many theories I had gotten correct in Part 1. He also told me maybe it was not me or my analytical brain, but other external factors which may have contributed to why my theories were incorrect (i.e script changes, budget issues, etc). This was the moment when everything clicked in my head!

At the end of Part 1, I had thought Part 2 would be a continuation of Naksu's journey to discovering her true identity which was Jin Bu Yeon. However, this was where I made my first mistake. Part 2 was not a continuation of the her story. Rather it was a continuation of Mu Deok/Cho Yeong's story after she returned to her OG body (GYJ body) and died in Ep 1. This was why everything felt so soulless and unsatisfactory in Part 2.Do I think the Hong Sisters had intended for this to happen? No, not at all. This is why their writing in Part 2 paled in comparison to Part 1. The Hong Sisters' heart and soul were not in it when it came to writing Part 2. What they tried to do was make the best out of a really bad situation and they were really not happy about it.

Originally, they meant for Part 2 to be about Naksu discovering her true identity (Jin Bu Yeon), but a bunch of things happened behind the scenes which ultimately forced the Hong Sisters to completely rewrite Part 2. Just to be clear, the soul we followed in Part 1 was not the same soul shown in Part 2. They were two different souls. Part 1 was about Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon's soul and Part 2 was Mu Deok/Cho Yeong's soul. For those who were rooting for Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon's journey of self discovery, I would not bother watching Part 2 because her journey is currently in limbo.

And for those who have come here to argue with me by telling me I must be confused or lost, you can go elsewhere. No one is forcing you to read my post. I have proven time and again through my many correct theories for Part 1 that I did understand the Hong Sisters more so than most others.

Now for those who still want to stick around, good! Before we go down this rabbit hole, you all should be aware the events in Part 1 was still a soul switch not soul combination as others were led to believe in Part 2. I will explain more further down.

Anyways for those sticking around, it is time to put our thinking caps on! Time to analyze!

What Potentially Led To Part 2 Script Adjustments and FL Change?

Now, be aware that what I discuss here is highly speculative. So do not quote me or anything. This is just my impression and should not be taken as a matter of fact. Below is an AOS timeline. There may be some inaccuracies for the exact starting and ending date of Part 1 filming. However, everything else in red should be correct.

According to my Korean friend whose husband works in the Korean entertainment industry, the production budget is determined before filming starts and you are unable to request additional money later on. This means once the production budget is determined, the producers cannot exceed the initial budget. It works the same way in the US. Although in the US, exceptions can be made if a show or film holds great promise or if the producer is willing to receive less of their producer's fees.

Based on varying reports, the production cost for Part 1 (20 episodes) ranged from 35-40 billion won (28-32-million USD). For reference, the production cost for fantasy dramas like "Bulgasal" was around 31-40 billion won (25-32 million USD) for 16 episodes. From this, you can see the money for AOS was already stretched given there was a total of 20 episodes in Part 1. Something to point out is it is not clear whether the production budget was determined for all 30 episodes or broken up into two different production budgets (i.e 20 episodes and 10 episodes). I am thinking it was the former just because it would explain why the Hong Sisters had initially hired rookie actors/actresses over more seasoned actors/actresses. Rookies are usually paid less because they do not have as much experience in comparison to more senior actors/actresses. Therefore, by hiring rookies, they could save on money. Bear in mind this was a 30 episodes FANTASY drama so you have to save on money where you can so you can divert money towards CGI, set construction, costumes, larger filming crews, etc.

At the very beginning of AOS production there were a few very costly hiccups. Most notably, the OG FL rookie actress, Park Hae Eun, leaving at the very beginning of filming for Part 1. Luckily, the AOS production team managed to convince Jung So Min to play the FL role. Although this would eat into the production budget because Jung So Min was a seasoned actress, she would be able to give the show the stability it needed. And who knows, maybe the people who financed AOS would be more willing to provide additional money if the production team had hired a more seasoned actress.

I do want to point out that one of the production companies (High Quality; a CJ ENM subsidiary) left after Part 1. The reason for it is unknown. Was it because of this production company's departure that the AOS team were left unable to afford Jung So Min or was it because of Jung So Min's agency at the time did not allow her to sign onto Part 2 which led to High Quality's departure? I do not really know and can only speculate that it was the latter.

During the Part 1 press conference (June 14, 2022), the director said the Hong Sisters were currently working on Part 2 script (more like rewriting the entire script). Then on July 12th, rumors began to circulate the FL would be recasted for Part 2. Subsequently, Blossom Entertainment released the following two statements.

"We ask for your understanding that we arent able to tell you whether she'll be in part 2 or not because it would be a spoiler for Part 1." "She did not appear to get off, but originally signed a contract to appear in Part 1".

On August 2nd, it was announced Jung So Min would join a new agency. Following this announcement, AOS production team said on August 8th, there will be a one week hiatus "to enhance the level of completion for the second half" aka this means they needed time to edit Eps 17-20 so it could flow better with the narrative in Part 2. Who the hell knows what they had removed in those episodes. All I know is that Eps 18-19 felt weird.

Collectively, I think what ended up happening is that AOS production team was unable to get Jung So Min. They were forced to hire a rookie actress and not just any rookie actress, it had to be Go Youn Jung as to avoid even more controversy. This show did not need any more controversy. In turn, the Hong Sisters were forced to completely rewrite Part 2 while editing out things in Part 1.

If there is anyone to blame for the poor quality of Part 2, it's either Blossom or AOS production team and not the Hong Sisters nor Jung So Min herself. I am sure Jung So Min would have gladly sign onto Part 2 and taken a lesser fee, but was unable to because she was bound to whatever contract she signed with Blossom.

I am not even a screenwriter, but this just sounds super stressful. Like imagine if you had already planned to tell your story a certain way with the actress you want, but due to funding issues and actress availability, you had to completely rewrite your story in such a really short amount of time. The Hong Sisters were put in a difficult situation and were forced to make the best of it. Based on things were in Part 2, it seemed the Hong Sisters hated every minute of it. This was evident by the lack of pun filled and witty lines, double meanings, and tight writing. All the things that made Part 1 great and stereotypically Hong Sisters.

After reanalyzing everything from Part 2 and taking into consideration all the things that occurred outside of the show itself, I believe the Hong Sisters did manage to save the one character they intended to be the real star of this entire show which is Jin Bu Yeon/Naksu (meaning Naksu's real identity was Jin Bu Yeon). Continue reading below to see how the soul we saw in the majority of Part 2 was not Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon, but was actually Mu Deok/Cho Yeong, a soul I thought I though had gone back to her OG body and died.

Which Soul Did We See the Majority of Part 2?

Surprise surprise people..... it was "Mu Deok" whose real name was...drum roll please...Cho Yeong! Are you shocked? I mean this is what the majority of AOS fandom had been begging for during Part 1. Everyone was like OMG I want to know more about the real Mu Deok (because many thought she was the powerful Jin Bu Yeon lol) . And well, this is exactly what you got exactly in Part 2. As it turned out though, "Mu Deok" was really just Cho Yeong.... a damsel in distress who followed Jang Uk around like a lost puppy and a total superficial airhead. She was neither a powerful skillful mage nor a great shaman/divine priestess. Those qualities belonged to Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon who is currently a spirit lingering around waiting for Mu Deok/Cho Yeong to leave so she can finally have her own body, name, and face (JSM face) back.

A brief digression. In AOS where soul shifting is possible, names and their associated alternative names can get rather confusing when combined with bodies and souls. It is like do you call someone by their soul or body name? Imagine if my alternative name was "Honey" and my soul was in a body whose alternative name was "Biscuit". What would people call me? "Honey" or "Biscuit"? Well, people would just see your outside appearance and call you "Biscuit" even though you were "Honey". Then you find out the body's real name is “Sarah” and the name of the body you were previously in was “Taylor”. Essentially, this is what happened in AOS. In Part 1, the soul inside was called "Naksu" (alternative name) and she lived in a body whose alternative name was "Mu Deok". Everyone in Part 1, called that soul "Mu Deok" instead of "Naksu". People called that soul by a body name instead of the soul name. For me, I kept calling her by her soul alternative name which was "Naksu". As for the what Naksu's true identity was? I ended up figuring out back in Part 1 that her true soul identity was actually "Jin Bu Yeon". All that happened in Part 1 was that she had finally returned in her OG body (but did not know it yet) and was on the path to discovering her real identity which was Jin Bu Yeon (not "Cho Yeong" as many viewers were led to believe). In doing so, her soul, body, face, real name would have finally become one aka Naksu soul=Jin Bu Yeon soul back in her OG body (Jin Bu Yeon body) and finally being called by her real name "Jin Bu Yeon" with her real face (JSM face). This journey would have finally came to its conclusion in Part 2. However, this journey got sidetracked REAL QUICK because the story in Part 2 got switched to being about the real Mu Deok's soul journey to discovering she was "Cho Yeong".....the anger I feel right now. For everyone who felt duped and angry by Part 2, I want you all to know, your feelings were definitely valid. Just imagine being the Hong Sisters who were forced to write this....they were probably like 1000x more pissed because they had worked so hard in Part 1 to set up certain things up only to have it never fully being shown. In this aspect, I can totally relate to the Hong Sisters. After all, I did end up having to delete numerous pages of stuff I had worked really hard on because of shit like plagiarists.

Before I go any further, I want you all to understand that the soul in the picture to the left IS NOT THE SAME SOUL in the picture to the right. I know we cannot see souls so that is why I have placed different color hearts as a way to help you all see this and to understand things better. The left red heart is Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon's soul and the right pink heart is Mu Deok/Cho Yeong's soul. Got it? If you do not understand this concept then you can simply exit out of this post because I am tired of explaining things repeatedly.

Now, recall that the Cho Yeong body (GYJ body) to the left was burnt and gone. The body to the right is the Jin Bu Yeon body (JSM body) except with the face of GYJ (think of this like a mask). The reason why it looks this way is because Mu Deok/Cho Yeong's soul/energy is inside Jin Bu Yeon's body and her energy is being used to help Jin Bu Yeon's body (JSM body) to heal. Therefore, this is why the Jin Bu Yeon body (JSM body) has the GYJ face. It is suppose to represent that the soul inside Jin Bu Yeon's body is not the same soul we followed back in Part 1.

So, why did Master Lee bring back such a useless soul (Mu Deok/Cho Yeong soul)? Well, in an indirect way he was trying to help Naksu (whose soul was lingering around) to move on and become who she was all along which was Jin Bu Yeon, a mage/shaman/divine priestess tribrid. Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon could never realize her destiny nor regain her shaman/divine powers if she could not discard her old life as "Naksu". Side note, Master Lee could have easily brought back Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon's soul (since he had mastered Hwansu)....but like I said earlier, Hong Sisters had to completely rewrite Part 2 to somehow fit the appearance of Go Youn Jung.

A scene I want to revisit is the following below. Master Lee mentions two names during these scenes, "Jin Bu Yeon" and "Naksu". Keep in mind, Master Lee likes to change names to suit whoever he is speaking with. Often, characters and viewers tend to misinterpret what he means. For example, Mama Jin thinks Mu Deok=Jin Bu Yeon and Naksu=Cho Yeong. However, Master Lee knows it is Naksu=Jin Bu Yeon and Mu Deok=Cho Yeong...but he does not tell Mama Jin this.

I know this can be confusing. Just every time you see Master Lee mentioning "Naksu", he means Mu Deok=Cho Yeong, but characters and viewers interpret this as meaning Naksu=Cho Yeong. Why does he do this? To keep everyone else in the dark about the real truth which is that before Naksu became Naksu, she was originally Jin Bu Yeon.

If we redid this dialogue to make it more understandable, it would go like this "Cho Yeong (Mu Deok) did not take over this body using the alchemy of souls. Her soul was actually locked up inside this body." This statement is true. Mu Deok/Cho Yeong did not perform the Alchemy of Souls spell. It was Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon who did it back in Ep 1.

After Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon had performed the Alchemy of Souls spell (Ep 1) and returned to her OG body (JSM body), she left Mu Deok/Cho Yeong's soul to return to her now dead OG body (GYJ body). However, Mu Deok/Cho Yeong's soul did not move onto the afterlife. Instead, she remained next to Jang Uk as an invisible spirit because they were fated for each other and were a pair. Master Lee saw Mu Deok/Cho Yeong's spirit lingering next to Jang Uk and this is why he told Kim Do Joon as much back in Ep 13. Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon subconsciously trapped Mu Deok/Cho Yeong's soul and fed off of it until she had regained her full divine powers. Nom nom nom...soul food. Why did Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon do this? Because she was a soul who was willing to do anything to survive and accomplish a goal.

I know many will ask me when exactly did Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon swap with Mu Deok/Cho Yeong? I believe it was during the boat inccident. Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon had tried to destroy the Ice Stone, but she somehow inadvertently swapped hers and Mu Deok/Cho Yeong's souls. Although, I would not doubt it was Master Lee who did it given how during that scene in Ep 19, it looked like there was someone watching from the shore. We may never find out if it was Master Lee or Jin Bu Yeon herself who did the swap just because the AOS team did edit those episodes.

Going back to Mu Deok/Cho Yeong, what did Master Lee erase from her? He erased Cho Yeong's memories from when she was a child to adult living in Jin Bu Yeon's body as "Mu Deok", the girl from Sari. Why did he do that? So that she would be willing to accept Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon's memories as her own and not run wild. Side note, I still think Master Lee is probably Mage/Shaman Choi Cheol because he of how he was able to erase Mu Deok/Cho Yeong's memories. Who's to say he was not the same person who erased Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon's childhood memories and changed it so she thought her childhood memories were Mu Deok/Cho Yeong's memories?

Although Master Lee was the one who erased Mu Deok/Cho Yeong's memories, it was actually Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon (mage/shaman/divine priestess) who planted her own memories inside Mu Deok/Cho Yeong's head. As Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon was remembering her real childhood memories (Jin Bu Yeon childhood memories; shown off screen because Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon is an invisible spirit right now and AOS team could not show JSM as an astral projection because of other crap), she began to become gain back even more of shaman/divine priestess powers which included abilities like transmitting her memories and changing a soul's memories, opening portals, jumping in and out of her own body, etc. Why did Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon do this? To give back the life she took from Mu Deok/Cho Yeong. Y'all lets take a moment to appreciate how freaking selfless Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon really was!!

Jin Mu...The Man Who Finally Recognized Naksu's True Identity

Throughout this show, I had felt Jin Mu was a pretty useless character. However, the real purpose of his storyline was to reveal something pretty important to viewers. He was one of the selected few who finally realized Naksu's real identity was Jin Bu Yeon. Let's take a look at some of the scenes below. In Ep 22, Jin Mu is confused as to why the Naksu face was called Jin Bu Yeon. This was the Hong Sisters' subtle way to let viewers know that back in Ep 1, the soul that was in the body known as "Naksu" was Jin Bu Yeon not Cho Yeong.

In Ep 23, Jin Mu says that even though the girl has Naksu's face, her energy is different than from the Naksu he knew. What does this tell you? That the soul currently residing in that body with the "Naksu" face is not the same soul Jin Mu and viewers had knew back in Ep 1. Jin Mu thought he was raising Cho Yeong to become Naksu, but in reality he ended up raising Jin Bu Yeon who became Naksu except he did not know this until later on.

Now the the person who summoned Jang Uk and CP to Gwido was Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon's spirit. Recall from earlier, I did say that as Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon began to remember more of Jin Bu Yeon memories, the more divine powers she would have. Therefore, she was the one who opened the portal for Jang Uk and CP. Why did she do this? So they could come rescue the useless soul that is currently residing in her body aka Mu Deok/Cho Yeong.

The soul who entered that body after the wraiths scene was Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon. Before that moment, it was just Mu Deok/Cho Yeong soul. How do I know this? Because of the personality differences. The main difference between Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon and Mu Deok/Cho Yeong is that one soul fights back regardless if they are physically weak while the other soul runs, but does not fight back and waits for someone to save her. I do understand though that it can be difficult to differentiate between the real deal or just someone who has someone else's memories. Mu Deok/Cho Yeong deep down is like cotton candy while with Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon is like hellfire!

It was during the scene below that Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon regain nearly all of her Jin Bu Yeon childhood memories which allowed her to enter her own body once more to take revenge on Jin Mu. This is literally one of the most important scenes that many viewers had overlooked. Look at what Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon says to Jin Mu. Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon (not Mu Deok/Cho Yeong) tells him about finding the Ice Stone when she was a child as Jin Bu Yeon and then she called him "Danju" to indicate to him she was also his assassin...Naksu! It was at this fucking moment that Jin Mu knew he fucked up. Jin Mu finally realized that the soul he groom to become "Naksu" was not Cho Yeong, but was actually Jin Bu Yeon. BOOM LOOK WHO IS RIGHT! Me! Small victories! Collectively, this scene proved that Naksu's real identity was Jin Bu Yeon, not "Cho Yeong"!

Why Did Neither Seo Yul Nor Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon Never Tell Jang Uk About the Divination Bells?

After exiting Gwido, Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon (not Mu Deok/Cho Yeong) meets up with Seo Yul. At this point, best boy Seo Yul has finally figured out Naksu's real identity was Jin Bu Yeon and that the soul from earlier in Part 2 was just Mu Deok/Cho Yeong and not actually Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon herself. Seo Yul disclosed all of the information about the divination bells only to her because he knew he was talking to Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon now and not Mu Deok/Cho Yeong. Seo Yul thought one of the biggest reasons Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon did not want to stay is because she felt guilty for killing her own father (Jin Woo Tak) and ruining her sister's wedding. And Seo Yul did not want her to feel guilty since it really was not her fault.

He also tells her all of this because he wanted her to stay.

However, Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon said regardless of whether or not it was her fault, she still did perform the Alchemy of Souls spell which allowed her to be controlled by Jin Mu in the first place. If that was discovered, people would also eventually find out that she did kill an innocent person (Mu Deok/Cho Yeong) since she had forced Mu Deok/Cho Yeong to return to her OG body (GYJ body) to die in Ep 1. Anyways, both Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon and Seo Yul decide to not tell Jang Uk about the bells because they do not want to burst Jang Uk’s bubble of ignorance lol. They will continue to let him think he is married to the soul from Part 1 so he can be happy.

This is the thing about Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon. She wanted the people she cared about to always remember her as Jin Bu Yeon, a kind and beautiful soul and not as someone who committed terrible acts while she was Naksu (soul shifter through using soul ejectors/AOS spell, forcing an innocent soul to return to their OG body and die, killing her own father, ruining her sister's wedding, killing her lover, etc.). I know this is not what the Hong Sisters had intended to happen to Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon.....BUT THIS STILL HURTS Y'ALL. I still think originally everything was suppose to framed so that all the blamed would be placed on both Jin Mu and Jang Uk, but again crap happened behind the scenes so the Hong Sisters had to rewrite stuff so that all the blame was placed on Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon instead.

Another rant. It was Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon who was suppose to get a happy ending not fucking Jang Uk. If Jang Uk had died (it would have added to his character growth arc), then Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon could have been reunited with her family and marry a man who truly loved her, Seo Yul. This could have acted as a connecting point to the past. A marriage between Seo Yul and Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon's would have symbolized something that was suppose to happen 203 years ago between Seo Gyeong and Jin Seol Ran. And she would finally get to fucking shine with all of her immense powers!!!! The reason why characters like Seo Yul, Mama Jin, Jin Cho Yeon, and Park Dang Gu had their stories either pushed to the side or made to be a villain is because their development had depended a lot on Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon's story which I mean did not really happen in Part 2. Like the events of AOS story started with a Seo and Jin being torn apart so it would have made more sense that the story ended with a Seo and Jin finally being together (coming full circle). Instead, it ended with Jang/Cho being together and Seo/Jin still separated?! K...tell me the logic in that.

Who Did Jang Uk Marry In Part 2?

That idiot ended up marrying Mu Deok aka Cho Yeong. He really did not recognize that the soul he had fell in love with in Part 1 was not the same soul he met and married in Part 2. This is a marriage of two idiots honestly. All the while, Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon was an invisible spirit who had to witness this whole wedding...how painful is that?! Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon was unable to do anything except watch. This was almost as bad as when the Little Mermaid (non Disney version) had to watch the Prince marry the Princess and the Little Mermaid was helpless to stop it.

Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon's Final Goodbye To Jang Uk

So who was Master Lee referring to when he said "her"? He was referring to Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon. What Master Lee meant was that he hoped Jang Uk and Mu Deok/Cho Yeong's love for each other would reach Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon. And well, Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon received that message loud and clear because she used her divine powers to summon Jang Uk through the yin and yang jade.

This was Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon's final attempt to get Jang Uk to recognize her. She allowed him to see her true self which is Jin Bu Yeon. And did he understand what she was communicating? Hell no. So then Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon went back into her body to literally spell it out for Jang Uk and motherfucker still did not understand. It was during this time that Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon finally realized that she and Jang Uk were never meant to be together from the start. It was really Mu Deok/Cho Yeong and Jang Uk who were meant to be together. Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon severed this fate when she swapped back into her OG body (JSM body) and left the Mu Deok/Cho Yeong soul to swap back into her OG body (GYJ body) and die.

Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon tells Jang Uk he truly did not recognize her which is true. Jang Uk still thought she was Naksu as in Cho Yeong hence why he mentioned she killed him to avenge her father, Cho Chung. In reality, Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon's real father was Jin Woo Tak. Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon chose to not tell Jang Uk about the bells because it would be futile. Jang Uk would have never believed she was Jin Bu Yeon regardless of what she showed or told him.

Jang Uk was seriously a lost cause. Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon allowed him to see the innermost part of her soul AND HE STILL DID NOT FREAKING GET IT. What an idiot. Literally...how could he not tell the difference between the real soul and a soul who has someone else's memories. Good riddance Jang Uk, you truly did not deserve Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon to begin with. After witnessing how everything unfolded, Naksu chose to finally let go of Jang Uk so she could go on to becoming someone greater...her real authentic self....Jin Bu Yeon.

Naksu Finally Emerging as Her True Self..Jin Bu Yeon.. The Phoenix

Cue the entrance of Naksu now Jin Bu Yeon. The metaphorical egg had cracked wide open to reveal Jin Bu Yeon, the Phoenix. And next to Jin Bu Yeon is none other than loyal Seo Yul (the real man who saw Naksu for who she truly was....Jin Bu Yeon...a divine goddess). These scenes below of Seo Yul and Jin Bu Yeon are a call back to Seo Gyeong and Jin Seol Ran. The OG fated lovers and pair before there was ever a Jang Uk and Cho Yeong. Two pure souls reunited! Side note, for continuity purposes, they should have had Jung So Min during these crucial last few scenes.

If you noticed in Ep 7, Jin Seol Ran was always in the light while Seo Gyeong remained in the shadows. And this theme is depicted once again in EP 30 through Seo Yul's dark colored clothing and Jin Bu Yeon's light colored clothing. Jin Seol Ran had a lot of darkness in her, but Seo Gyeong embraced it all so she could shine like the bright star she was. And for Jin Seol Ran, Seo Gyeong was her light in the darkness.

Seo Yul stuck by Jin Bu Yeon's side until the very end. You will also notice that during the following scenes below, Jin Bu Yeon did not directly talk to the other characters. Rather, it was Seo Yul who was the one communicating her thoughts for her to the others. It makes me wonder if one of Jin Bu Yeon's divine powers was telepathy.

Now, let's take a moment to appreciate Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon. This girl had to endure so much pain and sadness and in the end, she saved all of her friends as well as all of Daeho. And no one with the exception of Master Lee and Seo Yul, would have known any better. Side note, they could have included Jung So Min without the blindfold to show that the soul from Part 1 was the one who saved everyone, but like I said earlier….there were problems behind the scenes. Anyways, I will say it again....NAKSU/JIN BU YEON DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS!!!!! Once Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon remembered all of her memories (JBY childhood memories) and let go of her past life/pain/resentment, her energy changed from pink to white, symbolizing purity. Additionally, her powers could be glowing white because when she was Naksu, her powers did glow white, symbolizing mage powers. Point being, we got to see her mage and divine powers combined. I AM NOT CRYING RIGHT NOW...BUT REALLY I AM BAWLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hong Sisters if you are reading this (and I hope you are since I sent you a link to blog since early August), please have Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon come back for a Part 3. This time please have Jung So Min play her!!!

Naksu now Jin Bu Yeon's Final Gift to Jang Uk

So what was Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon's final gift to the man who did not recognize nor really love her? The useless freaking idiot, Mu Deok/Cho Yeong, who could only see energy. Contrary to what Cho Yeong said, she does not have any other divine powers other than seeing energy. Meaning, she would not be able to cast spells nor Chisu, Tansu, or whatever else. The reason why Mu Deok/Cho Yeong would be unable to perform any divine acts of magic is because Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon only gave her the memories. Additionally, Mu Deok/Cho Yeong's soul is not a divine soul thus it does not have any divine powers whatsoever. If push came to shove, she would be flailing around screaming for Jang Uk to come save her.

Despite having Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon's memories, some things could not properly be translated into Mu Deok/Cho Yeong such as the qualities which made Naksu/JIn Bu Yeon a truly unique soul (independence, motivation, ambition, fierceness, bravery, self sacrificing, etc). Mu Deok/Cho Yeong is like imitation crab meat of the real deal (Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon). As for Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon's sword, she does not deserve it because she is not Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon. She is just Mu Deok/Cho Yeong....a plain, stupid, superficial, foolishly kind, weak, and helpless soul. Additionally, did anyone notice how Mu Deok/Cho Yeong wore her hair in that ponytail hairstyle? This was similar to how she wore it as a child. In Part 1, Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon had ended up wearing her hair in a similar style as when she was a child (hair down with side braids).

If and when her and Jang Uk have kids, they would probably be powerless kids. Why? Because the King Star energy does not transfer to their offsprings. If it had, Seo Yul would have the King Star energy given that he is a descendant of the first King Star, Seo Gyeong. When it comes to Cho Yeong, she only has Cho clan energy so maybe at best their child would reach Chisu? Then again, their kids would have very lazy parents so maybe they would never ever make anything of themselves.

So yea...these two superficial and immature souls are definitely a match made in heaven! They were able to get the life they got due to others' hard work and sacrifice. And the truly sad part in all of this, is that they did not even realize it. Ignorance is bliss. That is the dark side to the seemingly bright "happy ending" of Alchemy of Souls Part 2.

Who Knew Naksu Was Really Jin Bu Yeon?

Not many. Literally there are only two people left alive who knows the real truth about Naksu and those people are feigning ignorance so that everyone else can heal and move on. The only reason why Jin Mu and Seo Yul knew the truth was because they had known Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon the longest in comparison to other characters. And Seo Yul had met Jin Bu Yeon before she even became “Naksu” in Danhyanggot.

Those who knew the real truth which is Naksu's soul=Jin Bu Yeon's soul:

Master Lee

Seo Yul

Jin Mu (right before he had the empty Ice Stone placed inside of him)

Those who think Naksu's soul=Cho Yeong's soul:

Mama Jin

Jang Uk

Those who think Jin Bu Yeon is just Jin Bu Yeon:

CP/The King

Park Jin

Kim Do Joon

Park Dang Gu

Heo Yun Ok

Jin Cho Yeon

What Happened to Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon's Soul Afterwards?

Either she is in hibernation in her own body or lingering as a spirit next to her fated other half (Seo Yul) or back in the Ice Stone waiting to come out again. Do I think she is completely gone? Hell to the NO. Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon is a survivor and a divine soul. She also still has unfinished business to attend to which is to destroy the Ice Stone. Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon should pluck out that damn Ice Stone out of Jang Uk’s chest. I will be patiently awaiting for that moment as well as when she retakes her sword!

And let's be real here, Mu Deok/Cho Yeong neither has the galls nor the powers to remove the Ice Stone out of Jang Uk's chest. That much is apparent. She does not have what it takes to do what is necessary for the greater good.

Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon also has the power of Hwansu (method of coming back to life..I just think of it as reaching nirvana or a full enlightenment). Meaning she could if she ever wanted to, float into a dead body. The Hong Sisters could then have that dead body have the face of Jin Bu Yeon (JSM) as to indicate the soul inside is Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon. I mean that's the logic they used with the GYJ face anyways.

Let’s review all the things Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon managed to accomplish while she was around:

1. Discovered her real identity 2. Punished the man who ruined her life 3. Avenged her father 4. Gave her former lover someone else to love 5. Gave the soul whose life she stole a second chance filled with love, family, and friends....NO BUT REALLY FUCK MU DEOK/CHO YEONG. 6. Leave her real name untarnished by her horrible past

7. Save all of fucking Daeho because let’s be real here, without Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon and her divine powers, Jang Uk would have never been able to wake up big bird himself.

FUCKING PROUD OF YOU NAKSU/JIN BU YEON!! YOU ARE A BADASS BIRDY!!

Final Thoughts on Part 2

I am brain dead. It has been an emotional roller coaster. Was Part 2 worth watching? No. Was it the Hong Sisters' best work? Hell nah. Did the Hong Sisters want you to love Part 2? Hell no they did not. I will say though, they could have express their frustrations in other ways rather than taking it out on some female characters. Although I get it haha. They had planned for Jang Uk to either die or marry Heo Yun Ok and since that did not get to happen, they made her into a petty bitch. And with Soi...do you guys know what her story ended beautifully? It was because her character's story had paralleled Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon's story. Meaning that Naksu had grew up in a dark filthy world and the only brightness she ever saw was when Seo Yul had visited her in Danhyanggot. Also, with the whole foresight thing and the firebird situation…..umm if Jin Seol Ran had foreseen this a long time ago, why did she not have Seo Gyeong destroy the firebird back then? Furthermore, if Jin Bu Yeon was Jin Seol Ran with the gift of foresight, why would she allow herself to be used by Jin Mu to find the Ice Stone in the first place? I smell lies haha. Maybe Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon and Master Lee had worked together to deceive others with their goal being to help others to move on from Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon. Therefore, maybe Jin Bu Yeon was just Jin Bu Yeon and not a reincarnation of Jin Seol Ran. The Hong Sisters had done something similar in Hotel Del Luna. For example, the old lady deity had tricked Man Wol into believing Chan Sang was the reincarnation of Chung Myung when in fact he was not. Therefore, I would not put it pass the Hong Sisters to not pull the same trick again in AOS.

Potential for Part 3?

Hong Sisters, if you're reading this, since you used some stuff from my blog, might I suggest some titles for Part 3? How about "Alchemy of Souls: Reincarnation" or "Alchemy of Souls: Resurrection"?

Now I do not want to get your hopes up, but I really do feel there is a lot of potential for a Part 3 plot wise. However, this is wholly dependent on certain factors such as actor/actresses schedule availability and funding. The Hong Sisters would not have to do much in terms of writing other than some minor tweaks. I think they would still want to tell the story they had worked so hard on in the first place. Alchemy of Souls was suppose to be the pinnacle of the Hong Sister's career as kdrama writers but it ended up crashing into flames. I can only imagine the disappointment they must have felt to see their story ending this way.

Maybe one of the reasons the Hong Sisters had left some major plot holes is because they are hoping to eventually produce a Part 3. For example, the Ice Stone in Jang Uk's chest or the unoccupied leader positions of Cheonbugwan and Seoho Fortress. Sure, some would say their other dramas had some plot holes, but I would argue and say those dramas only had at most 3-4 minor plot holes. While in Part 2, there were so many major plot holes that if this were a boat, the boat would have already sank within one second of being in the waters.

How could things go if Part 3 were to happen? Well, it could start with Jang Uk's death. Sorry to all of those who were hoping to see more Jang Uk. I have been done with his stupid ass of a character since Part 1. Anyways, through his death, the Ice Stone would be used to fuel Jin Bu Yeon/Naksu's resurrection. As for Mu Deok/Cho Yeong since she is his shadow, her soul can leave with him too. Since the Ice Stone is back in the world, a new King Star should also rise to destroy the Ice Stone once and for all. Although the King Star isn't so much new, but more like old haha.

Building off of the logic of how fated lovers are always born in pairs, it would not be farfetched to think that when Jin Bu Yeon (the reincarnation of Jin Seol Ran) was born, her other half Seo Gyeong was also born/reincarnated too. And who might that be? Seo Yul. Part 3 could be about how after Jin Bu Yeon is revived, she could help Seo Yul to remember his Seo Gyeong memories which could enable him to have his King Star powers again. In doing so, it would explain why Seo Yul had coincidentally ran into Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon in Danyanggot of all places as well as why he kept having weird visions throughout Parts 1 and 2. Seo Yul also seemed to be a real old soul from an early age just like Jin Bu Yeon was. Something random is Seo Yul's final outfit in Part 2, they were nearly the same colors of Jin Bu Yeon's outfit when she was performing the firebird awakening ritual. Could it be that Jin Bu Yeon gave Seo Yul his Seo Gyeong memories back and this is why he decided to take over the Songrim position? Hmmmm.

So why would these two need to be at their best? To stop whoever or whatever enemy the Seo's were fighting along the borders. Maybe the enemies at Seoho Fortress are like the equivalent of Ice Walkers from Game of Thrones who are controlled by the ruler of the country next to Daeho. This would require a group effort from all the other characters like Jin Cho Yeon, Park Dang Gu, the King (sorry I still want to call him CP), and whoever the new leader of Cheonbugwan is. And we would finally get to see Jin Bu Yeon at her finest in action....a mage/shaman/divine priestess tribrid fighting the enemies to the west of the Daeho. And there could more scenes of Park Danggu being a bad ass archer and Jin Cho Yeon using the relics to assist in the fight against the enemies along the border. Somewhere in between all of that craziness, it’ll be great to see Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon having some much needed sister time with Jin Cho Yeon. She could even help babysit Dan and Gang haha.

Also, it’ll be great to have a scene with Naksu/Jin Bu Yeon Chisu her way to the top of the tree and see the moon (she said in P1 how she used to love going up the tree to look at the moon). Seo Yul can Chisu his way up there too and join her haha. With regards to the relics in Jinyowon, they could further explain why Seo Gyeong and Jin Seol Ran had created all these relics in the first place. I mean there was a mirror of longing, binding bracelet, fluffy, Gwiseo, and other countless relics. In Ep 7, they said the relics were created with sorcery….so did Seo Gyeong and Jin Seol Ran dabble in the dark arts or something? Why didn’t they destroy the relics in the first place if they knew they were dangerous? And remember Master Lee? They could even introduce the plot twist that he was really Master Choi Cheol, the first mage to perform the Alchemy of Souls and how he never really died inside of Gwido as many had thought.

And at the end of this long journey, Jin Bu Yeon/Jin Seol Ran would finally be reunited with her family and married to a man (Seo Yul/Seo Gyeong) who was as pure and kind as she was . A match some 200 years in the making! NOW THAT WOULD MAKE FOR AN EPIC ROMANCE.

OK THAT IS ALL I GOT OUT OF ME!! If you have any more questions, I will be more than happy to answer them. I am sure I have forgotten to talk about some things! Oh well!

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runawaymun · 2 years

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Not to sound like a boomer but I genuinely am starting to feel that Netflix is one of the worst things that happened to television.

It’s all the same now.

And I don’t mean like, genre diversity. I mean the art form. Like Netflix has really just cursed the world with television that now has an absolutely breakneck, relentless pace. So few shows are casually watchable anymore. It’s hard for me to find good new comfort shows. All of mine are older. Seasons used to have 15-30 episodes, sometimes more! They used to be episodic. So you could literally just drop in at any point in a season, nearly, without having to remember where you’re at or be sucked in by cliffhangers for twelve hours. You could just sit down with your favorite characters for one episode and be done.

And sure, people still marathoned favorites, but that wasn’t the norm. And the thing is, shows like Psych, Stargate SG-1, Babylon 5, Doctor Who etc? I remember distinct episodes. I can name them, and I’ll go back and rewatch them over and over again independently. With newer shows I just don’t. If you ask me to name an individual episode of Cobra Kai, I can’t. If I’m rewatching then I’m rewatching the whole damn show and I just don’t have that kind of time, usually, so then I just don’t rewatch and it’s onto the next series— which gets super exhausting. Sometimes I don’t want that commitment.

And you lose a lot of character depth in my opinion. The beauty of episodic longform shows is in the sheer room you have. Yes. Seasons had arcs, but usually the plots were contained to an episode and the season arc was purely character development. And you had room for dumb episodes where characters go to the beach, or a party, or just dick around and live their lives. The viewer had time to get attached— which is why so many older shows still have such strong, old, thriving fanbases who are immensely loyal to their show.

And also??? Shows didn’t used to be cancelled for a bad first episode or season. That’s not normal!!? Netflix and other provider’s habits of cancelling shows that “flop” in their first three episodes or first season isn’t normal. With older shows it was just sort of accepted: the pilot and first season are like the first ugly pancake. Give the show some time. And that time is worth it. That’s why shows could run episodically for 6, 7, 14, 20 seasons, because people just accepted that some seasons are better than others and that’s okay. Some episodes are better than others. Shows didn’t used to rely on cliffhangers to keep their audience. They relied on characters. That was what we were watching them for and why we kept coming back.

I just really am starting to hate how every single tv show is now essentially a really long movie tbh. Give me my episodic, campy, 30-episodes a season shows back. They really are worth it and I’m so sad that those seem to be actively squished by tv providers. It’s an art form in of itself.

It’s just a symptom of late stage capitalistic churning of things for mass, quick comsumption. Like the fast fashion of film. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of new favorite shows I genuinely enjoy like Schitt’s Creek, House of the Dragon, Cobra Kai, Gentleman Jack, etc, but I just wish I had more options in terms of length/number of episodes/and how episodic a show is. It feels like a damn shame that episodic shows are being pushed out in favor of quick, bingeable ones. It also feels like writers are no longer being given the time to really craft a good story. There’s so much pressure and time crunching from studios and drive to cram your story into less than twelve episodes and that’s why you get, rather than a mediocre season, absolutely genuinely ruined seasons like the last season of Game of Thrones and the most recent season of Stranger Things. Both literally needed more episodes to make their story make sense. (If we ignore the dumb bran ending.)

Anyway this is your latest “old man yells at cloud” by your friendly neighborhood old person. Thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

#out of uniform #fandom #fandom culture

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irenespring · 16 days

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Anyway my School for Good and Evil thoughts I will publish so far that do not require several paragraphs of explanation I think (though I certainly could provide if questioned)

Lady Lesso is the best I love her so much she is my favorite and was one of my first full-blown character hyperfixations so she holds a special place in my heart forever and ever she can do no wrong please ignore the atrocities

Clarissa Dovey, for at least 30 years, enforced a school policy that systematically destroyed all queer students who could present as cishet. This is never acknowledged in the same way Lady Lesso's Evil tendencies are and she never wrestles with it, and she stands by it until she dies. She can therefore kick rocks and does not deserve Lady Lesso.

Despite its many, many, many, many issues , this is a superior magic school for AUs because 1) way higher intrinsic stakes (no need to make up new scary monsters or evil overlords when the system is this scary and fucked up) than certain book series that shall not be named, and 2) it is not created by an evil transphobe who uses the proceeds from her work to fund hate movements. I hope to prove the valor of SGE AUs forthwith.

Someone needs to tell this author that fatphobia is bad actually.

This magic system makes no sense.

A pen is probably not God (though I don't remember the end of the sixth book so maybe it is idk) [and yes non SGE knowing followers: "is this pen literally a Christian-style omnipotent God" is a very serious philosophical mystery in the books, I really love this series sometimes]

This series is especially ideal for a House MD AU because of the sheer level of chaos it can reach in any given chapter. The "Is a pen God?" thing is in fact representative of the kind of nonsense that happens. Really the only two pieces of media I am very confident I could describe the chaos of and then be certain that someone who consumes the media based on that description would not be disappointed are SGE and House MD.

#school for good and evil #lady lesso #clarissa dovey #clarissa dovey is terrible and i will die on this hill #I used that tag years ago and it still shows up for me so that's cool #leonora lesso #house md

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hauntedlibrarian2222 · 2 years

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Part 1.D

October 10th, ####

CW// IV Drip mention, very slight description; Stomach Issues Mention / Emetophobia

It’s been about two days since I was admitted to the hospital. Turns out the ‘gash’ on my leg was a bit more severe than they all thought, and I had to stick around a bit longer so they could ‘supervise it’.

Sitting around in the hospital sucked, and I hated the constant itch of the IV drip. The nurse that checked up on me wasn’t too bad, at least, but even they were a bit frustrating at times. They’d constantly treat me like I was as high as a kite and couldn’t think for myself, which was.. extremely irritating. Seeing as I was fully conscious. It’s their job, yeah, but I.. I dunno, I’ve never liked being baby talked. It just makes me feel.. stupid. With that, they’d also super often bring me the wrong food— which I didn’t care about, they have probably a whole handful of other people to take care of, but it is annoying whenever they’d accidentally give me food I was allergic to and would forget to bring me something different. I didn’t even know seafood was an option at hospitals, but apparently at this one it is. But, honestly, I don’t know what I expected. We don’t exactly have the best healthcare out here.

But, hey, maybe I just hate hospitals, too; I don’t know— I’ve never liked going to them. I’ve been in and out since I was a kid for a multitude of reasons. Primarily, my stomach; my stomach’s always been off since I was about.. Eight? Somewhere around there. I would get horrible stomach aches at night, which soon turned into full-blown vomit sessions as I got older. I still deal with that, uh, mess, but it’s far less severe now— and it happens maybe once or twice a month. Back then, it was once or twice, sometimes thrice, a week. It’s still crappy, but I manage.

But, I digress. Sitting in this hospital has made me realize something;

I don’t think Colin is human, either.

I had a lot of time to think on it, and what— last happened at the library. I have multiple reasons for this, too, but I reaaally don’t think I should share like.. half of them. But my main one, right now, is how he got in the library whenever I got attacked.

1. I don’t leave spare keys around.

2. He supposedly can’t lock pick, and even at that— you can’t really lock pick that door, the cogs are too jammed— I can barely even use my key on it. It would break most tools, I’ve tried. Just a, uh,.. security measure. Also got worried I’d get locked out one day.

3. The library was closed, anyways, and I’m sure he knew that— so why was he there at all?

And 4., I definitely locked the door. See, I go through this sort of, uhm, routine every night. It consists of me checking every single last window, door, and known crevice before heading to bed— and I have a checklist for it, too. Along with a handful alarms I set up to make sure I don’t doze off without doing this. I have a clear memory of locking the doors securely that night. Even testing them. There wasn’t any damage to the door the morning, either, so it’s not like he broke his way in?

So I have no idea how he got in. The only way I could imagine would be the doors automatically opening— they automatically open up at about.. 12 PM, if I don’t open them myself by then. But it was maybe around 7:30 AM whenever everything went down. It makes no damn sense how he got in, and I was too loopy to bother to ask him how— because I hadn’t even properly realized all this until I sat down in the hospital and began writing.

Either way it freaks me out, but if I trust anyone to mysteriously get into the library at any time— it’s Collin. He’s saved me like.. three, now four, damn times now— like some wacko guardian angel. And then he gets confused about what he saved me from? I dunno, it’s weird, but I trust Colin with this, thankfully. It’s not like he’s ever given me a reason to distrust him, or something. He just.. comes in, reads, and occasionally saves me from near death— but I’d assume that’s a side activity for him. If saving me was his main hobby, then I’d be concerned.

But, anyway, other than just.. all of this, I haven’t been doing much. Not like I can do much, anyway, I’ve just kinda been hanging out. I’m currently waiting on lunch, and I have no idea when it’ll come. Really mundane stuff in comparison to my, uh,.. usual hustle n’ bustle.

With the gash, though, one of the nurses asked me about it— which was.. interesting. He asked me where I had gotten it, and since I decided I didn’t want to be called crazy today— I just said that I had fallen down some concrete stairs. A half-truth. He looked at me, though, really intensely. Like he was trying to pick my brain with his eyesight. It was, uhm, uncomfortable. Like, insanely uncomfortable. His eyes looked bulged and his face began to flush from sheer concentration. He did that for a whole few minutes, too, and right before I was about to ask him to stop— he spoke.

“Are you sure it was stairs?”

He was speaking in a low, quiet voice— like he couldn’t be heard. I just pretended to be confused. I had no idea who this guy was, and I didn’t trust this. Not one bit. Not after that look.

“I’m.. pretty sure, yeah? What else could it have been?”

“.. Oh, nothing.”

And he walked off. He just turned and left, just like that. It was weird. It felt weird. That happened yesterday, around.. 2:30 PM, I think? Something like that, around that time. I’d get someone questioning the wound, especially with the reason I gave; but how he moved. It was.. unnatural.

Colin also visited at me, some point. He seemed worried whenever he opened the door, but that kind of worry where I knew it wasn’t really over me.

“.. ‘Eyyy..”

He sounded awkward, and I couldn’t really guess why, so I just greeted him back. And then he began to worry-delve into how he supposedly had messed something up at the library. I had left him in charge of it, which he offered, while I was out. Mainly just to clean it and make sure the place didn’t fall apart, but other then that— it was closed for the time being.

“.. What— did you do? Is this like that time you started freaking out over accidentally fraying the edges of a boo—“

“No! No, this ain’t as- silly, I promise. I, uh—” He paused to swallow, “—..Remember how y’told me not t’ever go upstairs?”

“Did.. you go upstairs, Colin?”

“.. yeah-“

“What happened?” I murmured in a sigh, crossing my arms as I leaned back on the crummy little bed I had.

“There— was a person up there? If you can call it that.. And they were staring at me— and I told ‘em I was just up there to clean, and then they, uh, began.. screeching? Like just— high-pitched screeches. Kinda like— kinda like a bat?”

I had given Colin permission to clean the library, and I guess I forgot to mention to not go upstairs, but.

Good lord, he finally found them. Surprised he hadn’t seen them peering down from the railings before, but, hey. Maybe they’re just good at hiding.

“.. Yeah, that’s just Todd. He sits up there and chucks me down books sometimes.”

“.. I.. what?”

“Did I stutter? That’s Todd. Todd doesn’t like strangers, though, hence the, uhm, screeching. Probably got— worried why you were there instead of me, y’know?” I gave a light shrug.

Half-truth. Todd never really saw me, because I never went upstairs— but we had seen each other over the railings, a lot. He had a few staring contests, and then he’d smile at me. They had one wicked smile, though, and it was.. kinda unnerving. I got used to it, though.

“.. and.. you— y’never decided t’tell me ‘bout Todd?”

I paused, before nodding with another light shrug. “Well, yes..? It’s— not like you were, uh, we’re supposed to ever see them, anyway, soo—“

Colin seemed to give an avid sigh of relief before sitting back down on his chair, resting a hand on the bridge of his nose and pinching it.

“I thought I had accidentally upset an unruly horror, but no.. just Todd.”

“Yeaaah..” I leaned back in the bed a bit further, giving a nervous chuckle while shutting my eyes as the tense air left the room. “That’s— that’s a very common feeling in there, isn’t it?”

Colin gave a whispered chuckle. “Jeez, no wonder you’re so egged out all the time.”

“Wh— egged out?”

“Yeah, egged out. Like, y’know, stressy? Anxious?”

“Egged??”

“Yeah, Egged.”

A moment passed between us with silence, before we both began to chuckle aloud— I pressed a hand over my mouth. It took us a second to calm down again, and I was the first to speak.

“Is.. that all you came here for, though?” My voice was a bit weary from the snickering. I didn’t really laugh a lot, but it felt nice to. Especially felt nice to with Collin.

“Oh— well, not entirely— I just wanted to see how you were holding up, too. Which, uhm, speaking of which—“ He’d force an awkward smile, “— how are you?”

I gave a small huff from my nose, slumping over— before full-blown laying down with a light groan.

“Hungry. And my everything has been achy the entire time I’ve been here.”

“Oh, so t’usual?”

Sitting up, I shot Colin a look— not inherently hostile, moreso.. playful? We looked at each other like that a lot. It felt like we were friends. Did he see me as a friend?

“It’ll be the usual for you, once I get out of this bed, I swear.”

“Hey— hey, no need for hostilitiessss..” Drawing out the words, he’d chuckle again. “Never thought I’d get threatened in a hospital—“

“Well, think again!” I gave a light grin, one of the rare instances I did. At least I think? Maybe I smile more than I realize, I have no idea— but people ask if I’m sad a lot, so I’ll guess not.

We chatted for a bit after that, and then he left. I wanted to ask about the door thing, but I felt like I’d be putting him on the spot— or maybe he’d feel like I was accusing him of breaking in, I don’t know. Either way, I decided against asking, for now at least.

I also had another visitor, but seeing as you can probably see the interaction on the blog; I’m not delving into that mess. The sucker even stole something while they were here.

But, I’m gonna be released from the hospital tomorrow, and then it’s back to the usual routine.

Hopefully, they haven’t missed me too much.

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#hauntedlibrary #hl #ic #in character #1.D #story #paranormal fiction #fiction #fantasy #paranormal #writing #multiple parts

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writingforfun0714 · 2 years

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Ok, warning. Spoilers for Tales of the Jedi!!!

Tales of the Jedi trailer was released yesterday and I have some thoughts. First off, I’d like to say that I’M FUCKING IN LOVE. I’ve seen it at least 20 times by now just on loop, trying to catch everything that was shown. I’M BEYOND HYPED. It looks AMAZING!! The animation is crisp and beautiful and while the character models look different, they still appear to be aligned with their right ages (like Ahsoka still looks like a teenager in training, Anakin still looks like a young man in his early 20s, and mullet Obi with Clone War armor is a nice looking 30-something year old). Even Mace looks a bit younger (though imo he could’ve looked even younger).

I was sad to learn that Dave Filoni decided to rewrite Ahsoka’s stories to include her mother. Lemme explain. Star Wars doesn’t really show mothers (or if they do they die—Shmi/Padme/Beru) and the first mother character really seemed to be Hera in Rebels (she doesn’t have a kid until S4 but she still seemed like the mom of the group throughout). So Filoni decided on including Ahsoka’s mother, rewriting Ahsoka’s part to fit her in. While I understand adding more ‘mother-representation’ in SW is important, I really would’ve preferred to see Master Plo Koon. He wasn’t shown at all in any of the village scenes and while it’s totally possible he will still show up (and Filoni’s keeping it a secret), it seems like the new village characters (Ahsoka’s family) will take the spotlight.

That brings me to my next point. Disney has already announced Ahsoka (the live action show) so I was really surprised that Tales of the Jedi would focus a lot on her. She’s a fan-favorite and people love her (myself included) but I, personally think that her live action show would be enough (her show and maybe a Bad Batch cameo would be enough I think). We already know how much she trained, how she got to where she is. I’m more interested in where she’s going tbh. Don’t get me wrong, I loved seeing phase 1 Rex and 501st train Ahsoka to use the move she used to escape during O66, especially since Anakin seemed to push her so hard (the irony). And seeing her cloaked in disguise at Padme’s funeral 😭 I lost it. Despite seeing a few badass moments with Ahsoka, I think I would’ve preferred a character we didn’t see much of/a new character, especially if it’s not a jedi (I love Jedi but SW is so much more, especially since Tales of the Jedi isn’t directly tied to the Clone Wars—same animation but stories are spread out through the timeline). As someone who’s never read any of the comics/novels, I’d love to see a new, non-related character’s story animated in the Clone Wars style.

I am glad that the shots we do see of Ahsoka training, she’s not in her OG outfit (aka no tube top). It’s similar, but it is different (her new top is more like a sleeveless tunic—kinda like what Korra wears in Legend of Korra). People have obviously pointed out how Ahsoka’s outfit design makes no sense and I agree, especially since it’s been established Jedi/Padawans wear robes. Would’ve preferred Ahsoka in robes, but I’m glad we got a different top nonetheless.

I think it’s only 6 episodes (though I’m not certain) and 3 are supposedly focused on Ahsoka (I believe 1–Ahsoka being discovered as a Jedi 2–Anakin training Ahsoka 3–Ahsoka post O66 going home to defend her village from the Inquisitor). The other 3 I believe are focused on Dooku and Quigon (1–the duo save a Senator and his family 2–They investigate the death of a Jedi 3–Master Yaddle discovers Dooku’s turn to the Dark Side). That’s just my opinion based on the trailer.

So. Overall, I’m definitely extremely excited for this show. I know Bad Batch s2 got delayed to Jan 4th 2023 and honestly…I don’t mind? I’ve been WAY more excited/hyped for TotJ (Tales of the Jedi) than Bad Batch anyways. I really hope it gets more than 1 season🤞 Because I think there are only 6 episodes, I really hope they’re longer than the usual 25min/half hour TCW episodes were (preferably 1hr, but even 40mins like Arcane would be great). Because they did include Ahsoka, I’d love to see how she purifies her kyber crystals before she’s shown in Rebels (I know it’s in a new novel about her but would be cool to see animated). Honestly I’m not unhappy that Dave Filoni decided to focus a lot on her, but I think because we know a lot about her already, I want to see specific scenes that I’m not sure will happen. I love Ahsoka and while I, personally. would prefer a new/lesser known character be featured, I like how her episodes kind of tell her life story at the important points (being discovered, training and life after O66) so people could watch these 3 episodes with her instead of having to watch all of TCW to know who she is (if, for some reason they don’t know who she is before going to Ahsoka the show). I didn’t really talk about the Dooku/Quigon episodes, but that’s because those are the ones I’m most excited for.

As I said earlier, I’m not all that excited for Bad Batch s2 for various reasons (THE WHITEWASHING, lack of character development, the typical ‘Saturday morning cartoon’ writing of like half the episodes). In fact, I’m more excited for the Young Jedi Adventures than I am for Bad Batch s2, and Young Jedi Adventures is supposed to be for little, little kids (but it’s set in the High Republic Era!!! How cool is that?? Wondering if they’ll use different animation since they use a different kind of animations for their series). So yeah…the whitewashing in BB really is almost a dealbreaker for me (I’ll still watch it ofc, but until my problems are addressed, I still prefer fan-content of Bad Batch). I much prefer TotJ and YJA for the upcoming SW animated content.

#star wars #star wars analysis #tales of the jedi #spoilers #just some thoughts #star wars clone wars #star wars animation #sw TotJ #unwhitewash the bad batch #unwhitewash all clones #my thoughts #also looking forward to Andor #Star Wars acolyte #and Skeleton Crew

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kingofbeingmisunderstoodheart · 1 year

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On the mind

So the past few days had been crazy in a bad way. I do not understand why or what is going on. It seems like "people" well in this sense I mean "adults or old people" always seem to press me and make me look bad. I got this manager job and asst. So it's a big upgrade for me. I only have an AA and I don't do anything creative or something that can make money. I am still trying to figure that out. That is life... But so I got this because I kind of know how to do retail stuff. Most of my work is merchandising aka reading a piece of people and doing what the company wants to place items, if they don't have items you can make it work/flow or whatever. I know a little about that. But so I got this asst. job because I am willing to do the dirty work and figure it out. That said I am still new and fresh. It's been going fine for something but it seems like yesterday someone attacked me. And I use that word because they did attack me, not physically, but he did call me out for something and rage on me. Yelling at me and was angry because I was trying to explain something to him he had done wrong. I don't think I was being too hard or negative or mean. but he was doing it wrong. Like putting items in the wrong places.

so he yelled at me when I was trying to show him. Then He screamed at me you signed up to be an asset. then what have you been doing all day. For one thing, my shift started at 1:30pm that day. I clocked in, and talked to the other manager she gave me the run down, then I had to count the draws and all the regs. Since I was the closing shift. The changing of manager. I know usually how long it takes me to count the draws which usually takes about 30 mins or so because we count them by hand Ewwww. And depending on whose working I usually count that draws two times because I'm always coming up short. Even though it's usually short by 20 cents or less but I still ALWAYS double or triple-check myself. That is because it's money and im signing off like it's correct. So I NEED to make sure I can count it right and plus human error does happen. So it's always good to check. So it takes me a little longer. Because I'm a little paranoid about being accused of something with the money. Around this time another worker came up to me and started talking about what was going on. He said that someone was not listening to him by putting one or two boxes up front. for people that don't know. We put boxes up front so we can use them to hand out to guests. But we keep the ones we need in the back for ourselves, so, for example, the displays change every month. We have those boxes in the back so we can put them back in if they are not sold. And this person told that one put those boxes in the back. We may need them later. But that one didn't listen. I was talking to the one complaining telling me maybe he forgot because we are ALL used to just throwing boxes up here anyways. Just grab what you know and just take it back there. He was like well FK it ok whatever.... does it anyways. then later he comes back up and points something else out, as how he asked him to help him with taking a few boxes down from the top overhead. and the guy just walks off and doesn't help. This happened two times now. One time when I asked him real quick to help because I was busy with a delivery. He said "nope im up front now, can't help' nope, not job today." and he walked off when he said this. like what...

So that was done. Then the other manager asks me to help her out in the back. One of the delivery trucks show up and she wanted to know if we should take one item because the date was coming up in three weeks or two and a half. So I know we don't sell much of that and we always mark them down. So I was like NOPE send it back. Then spend more time back there trying to help her make sure all the items were there. They usually send up too much or always miss a few times. This time we were missing one or two items. So we marked it and sent it off. that was that... It was after that another employ came up and to complain about the one who raged on me. This was the third time. So me being a new manager I figured (damn, now I need to actually say something instead of just making up excuses, by saying he's old, or we all forget the little things)

So now that it's the third thing. And it seems like I have addressed it. because I figure if I don't then he will also feel like he's not being heard or listened to. and has to work extra hard to fix up the messes being done... That was well I came up to him and tried to explain how him something he did wrong. But since he's 900 years old he got pissed and said that to me... that brings me to now...

I had to go to the store manager and we sat down and to him. I don't know what He told her. But I know what I said. But from what I feel and see from the meeting the store manager said that we just need better communication and that we need to say hi to each other and greet each other like human beings. We just need to watch what we say and how we talk to each other, tone makes a difference. And that we need more communication on what's going on and that we need to be more transparent. I believe she said this because she heard his side and his side was I don't really do much and make other do things.

I only say that because when yelled at me, he wanted to know what I was doing, and why it took me two hours to notice what he did wrong. And that I sign up to be the asst. Ok, I understand that. But just because you don't see me with something in my hands aka a bottle or a case doesn't mean I'm not working. I have other reasonability too. Like counting money, keeping track of money, making sure all delivery is correct, and when those come in checking them in and then making sure dates are good on the food. If they are not I need to reject them and make sure I have stock, if they send too much stock I need to actually read the paper and see what I have to reject them as well. and after I check them in, I would need to go on the computer to check my emails, and then complete the order by saying what we got and didn't get. With some of the orders which usually generate on their own but have not been working SO I need to enter them manually which takes a while.

But because he just seems at the desk on the computer typing away he THINKS I'm doing nothing. OR when he sees me in the back look at the truck he thinks I'm just marking it on the paper and that's all I DO. Oh and at the same time deal with his mistakes and messes all the time. Like putting bottles in the wrong places, behind the wrong tags, ringing things up wrong, and being lazy and not wanting to count change. He rounds up and just gives them a whole 1$... I mean given he only shorting us a few pennies. but doesn't understand that since the reg is short I HAVE TO COUNT THEM... so I get nervous and re-count the reg at least 2 or 3 times to make sure I'm ok at counting it... so it takes extra time.

But it's ok. Because it's how I address him. and he can do whatever he wants. EVEN not listening to the store manager's directions.

Its things like this that make me upset.

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floplvl · 2 years

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Yesterday I attended the gulis getaway. The bus came and got us from outside of school and took us to middle of Sipoo.

First we played games outside, this part was okay, because people hadn’t started drinking yet.

Then the sitz started. Which was also okay, ’cause we get to sing and eat together and my neighbor was sober with me and my other two neighbors were nice and the energy at a sitz is cool.

My group, Sex On The BECH won the group challange and received the pokals ☺️

Disclaimer: i ofc did not drink.

Then came the drinking games - fun

The came the dancing - fun

Then people started throwing up - 😐

People started to disappear - 😐

People started falling - and lastly they spilled gross alcohol drinks everywhere - 😬

At 1:30, almost everyone went to sleep.

Yes. 1:30.

I had drank a lot of caffeine and was not tired, not by a long shot. And I didn’t find a sleeping bag from anywhere so even if I’d wanted to sleep I couldn’t have.

I suddenly decided I was going to go home.

From middle of Sipoo where there’s only open fields and forest, and the way there, according to my navigator, was 4:30 hours.

Meh, I thought. I’m used to walking.

But I’ll tell you, I’m not used to walking at 2AM in a foreign place all by myself in the dark. I was already anxious when I got away from our cabin and I realized I’m on my own in the unknown. I thought about creeps lurking in the dark, cars speeding by and dragging me into the vehicle, wild animals sensing my fear and coming to get a nibble.

I was still able to shake off these feelings pretty well and level with myself that I’m just sfraid of the dark and that nothing bad is going to happen and if something is meant to happen there’s nothing I can do anyway.

This worked as long as I walked up the road.

Until my navigator told me to make a turn to the right off the road and then to the left. Because there was no road on the right and the left. There was only forrest. I thought it was a mistake -

But it was not.

I wanted desperately to stay on the road. I zoomed out and realized to my dispair it was impossible. The road wasn’t going to lead me home. At this moment I thought about turning back around, there was no way I was entering a forest in the middle of the night. I had walked for about an hour, and there’d be an hour back. But what awaited me there? Sitting there until we leave next morning at 12?

I bit my teeth together and I committed.

Come what may come, but I wasn’t going to give up. Whatever risks I was taking I was going to stay committed. No turning back, just focus straight ahead.

It was a nightmare.

The forest was pitch black, the ground uneven, wet and slippery. I had no idea how long I’d need to walk, but something told me it was going to be long.

I was afraid. Really afraid. Unreasonably so, I told myself. Absolutely nothing was going to happen: ’Everyone else is sleeping’, ’my suitcase makes so much noise that it will scare away the wild animals’, ’the dwarves in Wrong Turn don’t exist’, ’the guy from Hush has better things to do at this time’, ’this is Finland. The chance of a wild lunatic is very small’ (I have never been so happy to be living in Finland as now).

But with fear comes a wild fantasy. I started to think that maybe I could die tonight (funny how I chose the possibility of death before turning around and staying with the others. It got me thinking of a lot of things, how irresponsible I am and ungrateful for my life, and that I shouldn’t put myself in positions I’m not comfortable with), so first I posted to watsapp where I was (’um, somewhere in sipoo’s forrest.’) and then I started calling people I trusted.

The list was short. The first person I called was my ex. He did not pick up, so the second person I called was Aleksandra. She also did not pick up. I didn’t call my sister or my mother, because I did not find enough trust to do so. Until I got desperately afraid and started hyperventilating. I’ve never passed out, but it felt like I was going to. I felt lightheaded, like there wasn’t enough oxygen reaching me, and had to really concentrate on my breathing to save myself. Mommy did not answer. I tried dad. Luckily, he answered the phone.

As soon as he answered I cried of relief and disbelief.

He got very nervous and afraid for me walking alone in the forrest in the middle of the night, although his reasons were more logical: he was afraid I’d fall into a lake, or stumble over a branch and break my leg, or get very lost and not find a way out. He insisted I’d call myself a taxi to drive to his house, and then we’d drive together to my house and he’ll pay it.

I glanced at my phone. 13km left. I wondered how much money it would cost for 13km.

”No car”, I said. ”I’m fine with walking as long as it’s on the road. I’m just scared of the dark in the forrest. As soon as I get out of here I’ll be fine, so just talk to me until I get out.”

We had a back and forth about the car for the whole hour it took for me to stumble through the woods, hanging onto his voice desperately as I made my way through branches and stumbled over rocks. Ofc I could not drag my suitcase , I had to carry it. But adrenaline made it possible.

I was so unbelievably happy when I got out of the forrest. We both celebrated prematurely, until ten minutes later it stood clear to me that I needed to cross yet another forrest.

”Don’t do that”, he said. ”Just call a taxi. I’ll pay for it.”

But I committed. I had come halfway already, and paying so much money just because I was childish and afraid of such a small percent to happen seemed silly and embarassing. There wasn’t anything to be afraid of. Not really.

”I’m entering now”, I said. ”Just stay with me on the line and I’ll be happy.”

This forrest felt even longer than the previous one but I just committed to it. No turning back. Just moved forward as quickly as I could, only concentrating on stepping right and breathing. I thought to myself that once I was out, this whole burden would lift and become a distant memory, so I kept pushing forward.

Then I got out again. I had been sharing my live location on whatsapp just in case something happened to me so he’d know where to look. He told me there’d be no more forest to walk for me. I was so damn happy I cried out of happiness. I had made it to Vantaa and was only forty minutes away from civilisation.

I had walked incredibly fast, never been more happy to be tall and have long legs. At 05 AM, I crossed the border to Helsinki - the most awesome feeling.

I walked for another thirty minutes until I came to Fallpakka, where I used to live with my ex. Finally I was at a place I recognized. We celebrated as I found a bus stop, and five minutes later came a bus to take me home.

Opening the door to my apartment never felt so damn good. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it, I’m home.

”You’re crazy”, dad said. ”Absolutely crazy to go out in the middle of night alone like that.”

”I know. I don’t know what I was thinking. But I’m happy I did. Walking home and talking to you was so much better than sitting in the cottage until 12.”

”That’s easy to say NOW. But anything could have happened, you never know.”

I was very grateful for my bed, and at 8AM my mommy called. I told her I was sleeping and hung up. Now I’m going to get ready and head over to her place and retrieve my darling dog who I miss sososoos much !

But yes, I promised myself:

• no more crazy adventures

• no more alcoholic events even if I’m sober

• no more people I need to pretend I’m someone I’m not to have a good time

• no more going to places unless i’m 100% sure I’ll stay there to sleep and also that I 100% can get home safely if I need to

💛

#stubborn af clan

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locria-writes · 3 years

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A Broken Ever After Masterpost

Synopsis

The Princess of Nalaantai was never expected to be born, much less to survive past infancy. Unfortunately, her life is expected to be used as a penance for her family's follies, and that entails being forced to marry a man twice her age, and into the volatile Essenian court.

Every four generations, the ruling clan of the Ximoyan Desert and the Empire of Essenia would engage in a marriage pact. One nation would marry its eldest legitimate daughter to the other's crown prince, and ideally, it would alternate each time. The Princess is, unluckily, the only eligible princess left in Nalaantai, and her marriage determines who the next Emperor of Essenia is.

Intended for an 18+ audience; contains violence, self-mutilation/harm, noncon, child marriage, etc.

Set in kingdoms inspired by high medieval Holy Roman Empire/Byzantium and the Song Dynasty/Western Xia.

ROs

Launcelin vu Ehteliohrt, Second Prince of Essenia | The Princess' husband, and 18 years her senior. He is the eldest surviving son of the Emperor of Essenia, but entirely unfavoured by his father. He was once engaged to the Princess' late aunt, and is twice widowed. He appears to have little interest in the throne, and even less interest in the Princess as a woman. | Main RO

Vezian vu Ehteliohrt, Sixth Prince of Essenia | The Princess' brother-in-law, and 4 years her senior. He is the second surviving son of the Emperor of Essenia, and a legitimized bastard. He is blatantly favoured by his father, yet despite his position and influence, is still unmarried. He is completely fixated on marrying the Princess no matter what to claim what he sees as his rightful throne. | Main RO

Lu'anyu yaza Nu'erzhu, Eighth Master of Gui'ansu | A close friend of the Princess, and 2 years her senior. He served as an emissary in Nalaantai, and specifically served as the Princess' language tutor for when she was engaged to his older brother. The two most important things in his life are his ambitions to become the ruler of his tribe, and the Princess, While he might insist otherwise, he knows he cannot have both. | Main RO

Ouren vu Ehteliohrt, Prince of Essenia | The Princess' stepson, and the same age as the Princess. He is the son of Launcelin and his first wife, and is rather disliked by the Emperor. He prefers to live quietly, studying art and music instead of engaging in courtly intrigue, and his hobbies are encouraged by his father. He quite unfortunately discovers that he has a bit of an infatuation with the Princess. | Partial RO (his romance will conclude in the story, but he has no 'proper' ending)

Secret Romance | The less said of him, the better. Has 1 bad ending planned.

#a broken ever after #continuing on from my previous word vomit #i saw a gunpla so beautiful i nearly cried a 1/100 bael and the only thing stopping me was the $50 shipping fee lol #like wtf it's already $80 what's with the $50 shipping fee???#never have i gone from so aroused to completely cold shipping costs are completely fucked like make it make sense #i remember trying to order smth from the us that was like $30 or smth #it's literally right across the border in ny yet somehow shipping cost like $50 #bitch i could drive across the border to get it wtf #i ended up buying it from a cn company instead took 3 weeks to ship but i only paid like $5 lol #but yeah you know what else was ultra sexy? a 1/100 providence goddamn #too bad it wouldn't fit in tho i think my brother has 1/144 models of freedom and maybe justice #so anyway then i decided i'd just collect dearka and yzak's suits since i thought it'd be easier #i was so very wrong i could only find an unpaointed 1/100 assault shroud duel and a 1/144 secondhand buster #i couldn't even find their custom zakus and gouf i am upset #even tho i think they got done dirty by only getting mass produced models in destiny #i still really liked yzak's custom gouf it looked as sleek as a gouf could get okay #also idk why i had such a tough time finding a 1/144 aegis like isn't that one of the most popular models???#i guess i have to wait until i can go to chinatown or a hobby shop to go gunpla hunting smh #so yeah that's where i've been mentally and emotionally how about you

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drarrily-we-row-along · 3 years

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Veritaserum Prompt Fic (Part 10)

(Okay- I'm not going to lie, I took a little bit of sadistic joy at everyone's outrage and devastation over the previous chapter. But only because I know what's coming. I promise we'll have a happy ending. Anyway. Start with part 1 on tumblr or jump over to AO3 to read the whole thing, if you like.)

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Harry woke up smiling.

This was not something that had ever happened to him prior to the last week, but now the bed smelled like Draco, and the sun was slipping in through the curtains and warming his face, and Harry was free.

He'd never been this happy in his life.

Rolling over, he reached out, patting the bed and trying to find his lover's body so he could drag him over and kiss him awake.

When his searching turned up empty, Harry opened one eye to look at the empty space next to him. He frowned and cast a wandless tempus: 10:37. Harry blinked and summoned his wand and recast: 10:37.

That was strange, he never slept that late. Although, he supposed it explained why Draco was already up and out of bed, probably already out in his workshop working on whatever potion he'd been brewing the past week or so.

After a good stretch and pulling his hair up into a messy bun on top of his head, Harry made his way to the kitchen and over to the coffee pot. He frowned again when he found it empty and turned to head outside and make sure Draco was alright.

Before he'd gotten more than a few steps, his eyes caught on a piece of parchment and a familiar hawthorn wand laying on top of the island. "No," he whispered, heart freezing in his chest.

(Read more below the cut)

He picked up the letter off the island with a trembling hand and read

Dearest Harry, How can I even begin to tell you all that you mean to me? A less cowardly man than I would have found a way to say it to your face, but we both know that bravery is more your department. You've given me so much, Harry. I could never have imagined falling in love, never imagined that someone might love me in return. But that's why I had to do this, you see that don't you? Not because I don't love you but because I do. I love you with every fiber of my being, with all that I am, and you are mine, Harry. And I couldn't let you pay the price for my sins. I couldn't let you give up everything for me. Granger helped me draw up a contract with the Minister himself, you three certainly have a lot of friends in high places. In exchange for me, they're clearing you of all charges. Don't be angry with her; she just wants what is best for you, as well you must know by this point in your friendship. I know you're hurting right now, love. I know that this is breaking your big, perfect, beautiful heart; it's breaking the pathetic, shriveled excuse of a heart that I have, too. But it will pass, my darling, if you let it. So please, for me, let it go. Let me go. Be happy, be in love, live whatever life you want. Travel. Go to the States and do whatever muggle thing you wanted to do. You deserve the best life. Please know that I will spend the rest of my life grateful for you. And I will never forget the time when you were mine. You are, without exception, the best thing that has ever happened to me. Forever yours, Draco

Harry stared at the parchment in his hand, trailing trembling fingers over Draco's elegant script as his eyes blurred and his breathing came too fast. He clenched the letter to his chest, gasping against the ache of his heart expanding to accommodate the sadness and the sense of loss.

Without another thought he apparated straight into Ron and Hermione's kitchen.

"We thought you might show up at some point," Ron's voice said behind him.

Harry whipped around to see them both sitting at the table, "What the fuck did you do?" he asked, voice low and dangerous.

Hermione sighed, "What he asked us to."

"Why?" he asked before the enormity of this situation hit him all over, the realization that he'd never see Draco again stealing the air from his lungs. He bent forward, putting his hands on his knees, "I can't breathe," he managed, trying to suck breath into his lungs and failing.

Ron was at his side in an instant, easing him onto the floor as Hermione appeared in front of him, "let your head drop between your knees. Focus on a slow inhale, slow exhale," she said and Harry tried to sync up his breathing with hers until his heart stopped racing.

He leaned his head back against the wall and scrubbed his hands over his face. "He's gone," he whispered. Then he opened his eyes and looked at them, "How could you let this happen?"

Hermione looked down at her hands, "Draco reached out to me the day after the trial. He said he couldn't trap you, couldn't force you to live a life on the run again."

"And that he couldn't bear the thought of you getting caught," Ron added.

"We wouldn't have gotten caught," he said derisively.

Hermione shook her head, "Maybe not but what about every other person in your life, Harry? You would have spent the rest of your life separated from them."

"We miss you, mate," Ron added.

He shook his head and swiped angrily at the tears in his eyes, "Then we could have figured something out. It had only been a week!" he protested. "Just one week, we could have-" he broke off and covered his mouth. After a heart beat, he stood up, "I can't be here right now. I can't-" he shook his head, "I can't do this."

"Harry-" Hermione started.

"He asked me not to be mad at you," he said, "but I'm-" he broke off, his hands trembling as he tried to open the door. "I need-" he tried again before simply giving up and walking out the door. He needed Draco.

"Harry!" Ron called behind him but he just kept walking.

He'd come back. He'd forgive them. He knew he would, he just needed a little time.

-------------

However, leaving was actually a seemingly bad idea.

In the 30 minutes after he left the house, he learned that part of the "deal" that Draco had struck with Kingsley involved the Ministry being able to tell whatever lies they wanted to about Draco. Some papers claimed that it had been a love potion, some claimed it was a cursed object, some claimed he'd been imperiused.

Harry stood in front of a newsstand, seething as he read the headlines. How could they have let this happen? How could Draco have signed a contract that allowed for this?

And then he saw it: The Quibbler. Draco and Harry were on the front page, just like every other newspaper, but the article was titled, "From the Wrinkspurts: They're in Love". The world tilted, righting itself slightly as a plan started to form in the back of his mind.

He looked up at the man running the stand who'd been just staring at him, "I need one of everything," he said. "I don't have any money but I'll bring-"

"They're yours," the man interrupted, grabbing papers from all the different piles. He even tossed on one for gardening and one for cooking.

"Err," Harry, "Not those ones," he said, nudging the two irrelevant ones away. "Just the ones about me," he added, "At the risk of sounding self centered."

"Whatever you want, mate," the man said. "They're yours."

"Thanks," Harry said, grabbing the stack of them and concentrating so he could apparate through the Ministry's wards because he simply didn't give a fuck anymore.

There was a sound vaguely like glass shattering as Harry popped up in front of the secretary's desk outside of Kingsley's office. She shrieked and a coffee cup went flying, breaking when it hit the ground.

"I'm here to see Kingsley," he said simply.

A hand fluttered up to cover her heart, "I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Potter, but he's in a meeting."

"Interrupt it," he said. "I guarantee what I have to say is more important."

"I can't just-"

"Look," Harry interrupted. "Just go and ask him. If he tells you to send me away, that's fine, I'll go."

She appeared to consider this for a moment, then she stood up and made her way to the door, knocking and slipping in.

A moment later she reappeared, "Would you mind waiting for just one moment?" she asked, gesturing to the chairs across from her desk. "He'll be right with you."

It was barely two minutes before three people came hurrying out of the room, avoiding Harry's gaze.

Kingsley followed, "Harry," he greeted, "Please come in."

Harry stood up and followed Kingsley in, not allowing himself to feel inferior because of the sweatpants and t-shirt he was still wearing.

"What can I do for you?" he asked.

"Let Draco Malfoy go," he replied.

Kingsley raised an eyebrow, "You know as well as I do that we're not going to do that. It's not possible."

"I thought you might say that," he replied as he started tossing magazines one by one onto the man's desk. "But you really ought to have told them all the same story."

"What?" the man asked with a laugh, "Why? Why should that matter?"

"Because it's going to make the Ministry look even more incompetent when I tell all of them the truth."

He shrugged, "It's of little concern, it won't matter."

"See, that's where you're wrong," Harry replied. "Because I'm not just going to tell them the truth about Draco Malfoy and his heinous treatment by Ministry officials prior to his trial. I am going to tell them everything and I'm going to watch the Ministry burn."

"Harry, be reasonable," he said. "So you tell everyone your story about finding Malfoy in the Department of Mysteries, garner a little sympathy because he was a teenager and now you're in love," he continued. "But it doesn't take much to drag his name through the mud again. To remind people that he tried to kill Dumbledore, to remind them of the cabinet that let death eaters into Hogwarts, to remind people of the lives that were lost because of him."

Harry's veins burned with rage and it was all he could do to keep himself from lashing out.

Kingsley shook his head, "Do what you must, but your story will never be enough."

He let out a humorless chuckle and leaned forward, bracing his fist on the desk, "I got into the Department of Mysteries within a matter of months. Do you really believe that the only information I got was about Draco Malfoy?"

"You'll be prosecuted, if you disclose any information you obtained illegally" he replied steadily.

"I am Harry fucking Potter," he said with a growl. "If you try to prosecute me, you will have an uprising on your hands. Especially after everything I'm going to expose. So good luck with that, I'll enjoy watching this burn even faster," he said, gesturing to the space around them.

"Harry," he said, "You must know that what you're asking of me simply isn't possible," a hint of desperation creeping into his voice.

The corner of Harry's mouth ticked up, "I'm going to win," he said. "And we both know it." He turned, leaving the magazines spread across his desk. "The only question is how much do you want to see burn before it happens." When he reached the door he called over his shoulder, "I'm holding a press conference tomorrow at six." He looked back at the other man, "You have until then to get him released."

On his way out he cast a patronus that he was sending to Azkaban with a simple message. I'm getting you out.

-----------------------

Okay, friends. There will be at least one more part of this fic (maybe two) but this is getting too long. <3

Part 9 | Part 11

#veritaserum prompt fic #part 10 #drarry #harry is so fed up with the ministry #drarry ficlet #100 drarry drabbles in 100 days #drarry fic #idiots in love #facing problems head on #love #forgiveness #almost to the end #happy ending coming

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mandareeboo · 3 years

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SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not.

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me.

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky.

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster.

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs!

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly.

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong.

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

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kpopfanfictrash · 3 years

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Raise the Barre (Ch. 7)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jimin / Reader

Rating: 18+ (Eventual Smut)

Genre: Enemies to Lovers / Dance Academy!AU

Warnings: mention of vomit, intense physical training, blood blisters

Word Count: 6,829

Summary: You and Park Jimin have been rivals for as long as you’ve known one another; ever since he tripped you in the front row of your first dance convention. When you graduate from high school and enter Russet Ballet Academy, you tell yourself you’re leaving all past quarrels behind. The main problem with this though, is that your past seems determined not to leave you alone.

Worse still, the obstacles you face while out in the real world might prove more challenging than anything your enemy has to offer.

Fifteen minutes later, Jimin pulled to a stop at the edge of the curb.

Stepping from the sidewalk, you hastened to the passenger side and opened the door. Your wait had mostly been uneventful, but you hated standing alone in the dark for any longer than necessary. Sliding into the passenger seat, you pulled the door shut and turned sideways to face him.

“Thanks,” you exhaled, seeing him for the first time tonight.

Jimin looked sleepy, as though your call had woken him up – which it probably had, since it was near 1:30 AM. Yesterday when you spoke, Jimin had said he planned on going to bed early. He was dressed in what Noelle would’ve called a groutfit – grey sweats, grey hoodie and silver-framed glasses. You blinked at these, not having realized Jimin wore contacts.

“No problem.” Jimin stifled a yawn. “Seat belt.”

“Huh?”

“Put on your seat belt.” He nodded at the strap by your side.

“Oh – right.” Hastily, you pulled this across your chest. “Thanks.”

Silence fell as you did, the awkwardness increasing with each passing second. Usually, you were better about things like car safety, but everything about this moment felt surreal. Jimin had given you his number barely twenty-four hours prior – you highly doubted this was what he had in mind when he said he’d call.

“I’m sorry,” you blurted, unsure what to do.

Jimin’s lips twitched. “It’s fine, Y/N.”

Glancing his way, you found Jimin’s profile dimly lit by the streetlights. He sat spread-legged in the driver’s seat; one hand placed casually on the shift. When he caught you looking, Jimin arched a brow and shifted the car into drive.

Pulling from the curb, he merged into traffic headed away from the club. As the bright lights of Excelsior disappeared into the rearview mirror, the cars on the road became few and far between. You drove in silence, city lights striping Jimin’s profile in black and white.

Finally, he cleared his throat. “Is everything okay?” Jimin asked, too casual to be normal.

It took you a moment to answer.

Usually, you would’ve responded yes even if it weren’t the case, since no one truly wanted to hear about your problems. Asking someone how are you? in the city was the same as a nod hello. It wasn’t genuine interest in another person’s well-being.

Tonight though, your usual responses caught in your throat. Tonight, you felt tired, frayed and dangerously thin at the seams.

Everything was not okay, and you weren’t sure how to say otherwise. Your usual walls had been torn, leaving you with this sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. Your fight with Finn had been a big one, even worse than the argument a few weeks ago.

Still, Jimin was a newer friend to you – if you could even call him that. It wasn’t fair to unload all your problems on him. Especially at such a late hour and especially not when he was the one doing you a favor.

“Yeah,” you said at last. “Everything’s fine.”

Jimin paused, as though he knew this to be bullshit.

“Let me rephrase,” he said, shifting in his seat. “Anyone’s ass I should kick?”

You laughed a little, surprised by his threat. “No, no,” you said, shaking your head. “Nothing like that.”

“Good.” Jimin’s smile faded. “So, what happened then? How’d you get stranded?”

He didn’t ask why you called him, but the implication was clear in his voice. Honestly, it was a question you had no good answer to. All you knew was when you were standing on the curb, staring at your phone and wondering who to call, Jimin was one of the first people to pop into your mind.

“I was out with my boyfriend,” you sighed. “I said I’d go to the club with him and his friends, but it got late and we have class tomorrow, so I told Finn I wanted to leave. He… didn’t.” Pausing, you swallowed. “I ended up leaving, but I didn’t realize the trains had stopped running. Uber surcharge was ridiculous, too.”

“Oh.” Jimin’s grip on the wheel tightened.

“Anyways.” You slouched lower in his seat. “You’re the only person I know with a car, so…”

“Ah. Right.”

Curious, you glanced sideways. Although Jimin was responding in one-word answers, they seemed somehow loaded, as though they contained hidden meaning. Even his profile seemed cautious, full of a tension you couldn’t quite place.

Jimin frowned. “Your boyfriend just… let you leave like that?”

“He didn’t let me,” you said as you straightened. “I can make my own decisions, Park.”

“I know, I just…”

“You just what, Park? Spit it out.”

“I don’t know.” Jimin shrugged. “It just seems kind of cold. That’s all.”

“Yeah, well.” Truth be told, it seemed cold to you, too. “I’m not exactly… thrilled with the situation, either. He turned off his phone,” you muttered, turning to face the window.

In the reflection, you saw Jimin grimace.

“Sorry,” he said quietly.

“What for?”

“That just sucks, that’s all.”

“Yeah. It does suck.”

Jimin made an indiscernible noise of agreement before lapsing into silence.

It was strange to be in a car with him at this late an hour; oddly intimate for a multitude of reasons you pushed aside.

The last time you’d seen Jimin dressed so casually had been when you walked in on him with Sabrina. It had been nearly a month since then, but you hadn’t heard any gossip of them being together on campus.

Maybe this was something you could’ve asked Jimin, but it wasn’t like you had that type of relationship. Sure, you were ballet partners and sure, you’d been getting along lately, but you didn’t usually interact outside of class. Yet another line you’d crossed by calling Jimin tonight.

Thus far, you’d mostly managed to keep Finn and Russet separate. Noelle had met Finn a couple of times – you’d gone to dinner once and gotten coffee together another time, but otherwise, nothing. Finn wouldn’t have wanted to come to one of your Grace Hall rom-com marathons or take a pilates class on Sunday morning.

Mixing personal life and dance felt strange to you, as though two separate halves of yourself were colliding. It was odd to see Jimin outside of Russet’s walls. He seemed more at ease in his car, like the lines of him had blurred more from dancer to person.

Something about the nighttime made things seem fuzzier. Tired from the day and just beginning to thaw from the cold, you found your lips and mind looser than usual.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Jimin said, interrupting the silence. “But I didn’t even know you had a boyfriend.”

With a humorless sort of laugh, you turned to face him. “Yeah, well. I do.”

“Huh.”

Hearing his skepticism, you insisted, “I do!”

“I believe you!” Jimin chuckled. He paused. “Is it new, then? I don’t remember anyone coming to watch your dance competitions in high school.”

Warmth spread through your body, realizing Jimin must’ve kept tabs. He’d watched you at dance competitions. He knew your usual crowd of supporters.

“Finn isn’t new,” you said slowly. “He just didn’t come to a lot of competitions. They got repetitive, you know? Lots of waiting around for three minutes of watching me dance.”

“I guess.” Jimin shrugged. “I used to go to my ex’s tennis tournaments all the time, though. That was the same thing, except no AC.”

“Right,” you laughed. “You’re right, at least our competitions had air conditioning.”

Jimin turned on his blinker to switch lanes. Pulling onto a side street, he glanced in the rearview mirror. Another moment passed, and then –

“We broke up before college.”

Surprised, you glanced in his direction. “Oh. Okay.”

You stared at his profile, wondering if you were supposed to say something more. You could think of many questions to ask, but they didn’t seem appropriate coming from you. You hadn’t realized Jimin was dating someone in high school – although, come to think of it, you did seem to remember a blonde girl cheering for him in the audience at Applause Dance Competition.

“It seemed like time,” Jimin continued quietly. “She went to a school across the country and we just never assumed we’d stay together. That sounds bad,” he said with a half-laugh. “I kind of figured though, if we were meant to be, we’d figure it out. The fact that we didn’t try spoke volumes.”

“That makes sense. Honestly,” you said with a sigh. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if me and Finn had been long distance.”

As soon as the words left your lips, you blinked. The statement hung before you in mid-air, forcing you to consider it for the first time.

This wasn’t something you’d allowed yourself to imagine before; what would’ve happened if you’d gone to a different school. Going to college so close to Finn had just seemed like a sign. You didn’t have the college break-up talk because you’d simply assumed you didn’t need to.

“Yeah.” Jimin sighed. “It’s hard, right? Everything is changing so quickly. You want things to stay the same, but isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? Change. Grow. I don’t know.” He shook his head. “Everyone keeps telling me change isn’t a bad thing.”

“Sure seems like it, sometimes,” you said softly.

Jimin nodded. After a moment, he reached out for the stereo. A familiar song filled his car and something uncertain unfurled in your stomach. You weren’t sure what you were even talking about anymore – change was a dangerous topic without Finn around.

When the chorus of the song kicked in, you smiled.

“I love this song,” you said, turning to Jimin. “I almost choreographed my solo to it senior year.”

“Really?” Jimin glanced at you in surprise. “Same.”

“No way!” you laughed. “Wow – that would’ve been awkward. Imagine if we’d both had the same solo.”

“It would’ve made us even more competitive.”

“Not possible.”

“You’re probably right.” Jimin smiled. “We were really at each other’s throats for a while, weren’t we?”

“Yeah, we were.”

Settling back in your seat, you couldn’t help but frown.

Something about this statement bothered you, although you couldn’t put a finger on what. Maybe it was what Jimin had said yesterday about your mutual competition pushing each other forward. Maybe it had something to do with that night in Danley Hall, when Jimin stopped by and said he loved watching you dance.

If you really stopped and thought about it, Jimin was the sole constant in your dancing career. Every year, at every dance competition, you’d make sure you were available to watch Jimin’s solo. You told yourself this was because he was your competition but really, you just loved watching him dance.

You could remember the cool air of the theatre as you snuck in, sinking into a plush, velvet chair and hoping you wouldn’t be seen. You’d loved watching Jimin near the front, close enough to see his facial expressions but not close enough to be seen from the stage.

If your solos were close to one another in timing, you tended to watch Jimin from the wings. This had been a different kind of intimacy, hidden behind the first leg while you watched him dance. Lights dim, you recalled Jimin’s silhouette while he would walk to center. The opening notes of his music would sound, and you’d stifle a shiver while you watched him, entranced.

As it turned out, Jimin had been watching your solos as well, but you hadn’t known this for some time. Not until he’d told you the other night.

Suddenly, you turned in your seat. “You know I think you’re talented, right?” you blurted. “There was a reason I was always trying to beat you.”

Jimin’s brows shot up so high, they nearly met his hairline.

“I – uh, no,” he said. “You’ve never said that to me before. In fact, you kind of said the opposite. You told me the only reason I won was because I’m a guy.”

Hearing your words thrown back in your face, heat began to creep up your neck.

“Listen, about that –”

“I’m kidding.” Jimin shot you a smile. “It’s fine, Y/N.”

“I – okay.”

“Look, I know men have an advantage in the dance world.” Returning his gaze to the road, Jimin’s smile disappeared. “I’m not dumb. I know we have higher centers of gravity, and all that. It’s just… you’re also talented, Y/N. People love to watch you dance, myself included. Don’t sell yourself short.”

Staring at him over the console, you felt oddly moved by this speech.

It was strange; many people in your life had called you talented. Your parents, your teachers and Finn, of course. Each of those compliments had meant something to you, but this one felt different. It felt different coming from Jimin – more important, somehow.

Maybe it was because you admired him most of all. The realization didn’t shock you as much as it probably should’ve.

“Thanks,” you said quietly.

Jimin nodded, continuing to scan the road. His car was clean, you realized as you glanced around. There were no water bottles on the floor, no napkins hastily stuffed into the glove compartment. The only sign of being lived-in was a keychain dangling over the dashboard; a small, plastic photo frame with two people inside.

“My parents,” Jimin explained, noticing where you looked.

“Oh,” you said, bending a bit closer. “They look nice.”

He laughed, unable to help it. “I’ve always thought so. My dad is the one who encouraged me to be a dancer, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Fondly, Jimin smiled. “He’s always loved music. When I was a baby, he loved to hold me and jump around the living room to songs on the radio. My mom has tons of videos of it.”

You smiled at the image. “That sounds adorable.”

“And embarrassing. My dad’s not that great a dancer.”

Without meaning to, you snorted.

Hearing this, Jimin’s smile widened. “When I started memorizing all the dances I saw on TV, my dad convinced my mom to put me in classes. Things kind of spiraled from there.”

“That’s nice,” you said, settling down in his seat. “My parents have always been my biggest supporters, too.”

Jimin nodded, about to respond but then a blast of AC hit you and you shivered. You’d nearly forgotten what you were wearing – or more accurately, what you weren’t wearing. The thin tank top you had on did little to hide the bare skin underneath.

Jimin’s gaze darted sideways. “Are you cold?” he asked, reaching out for the heat. “You can have my hoodie in the backseat, if you want.”

“Oh. No, that’s okay.” Hastily, you untied your cardigan from around your waist. “I have this,” you said, sliding both arms into the sleeves. “Completely forgot about it.”

Silently, Jimin nodded – and then his lips twitched.

“What?” you demanded.

“Nothing!” He shook his head, fighting to keep his face even. “It’s just… you wore a cardigan out to the club?”

Glancing down, you felt your cheeks begin to heat again. “Yes,” you said, somewhat defensive as you looked up. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Oh, nothing, nothing. It’s just, you know.” He paused. “My grandma has that sweater.”

“Well, your grandma sounds like a cool lady.”

“Without a doubt,” Jimin assured. “Not much of a clubber, though.”

Leaning your head to the window, you smiled. “That makes two of us then.”

You knew the city well enough by now to recognize you were only a few blocks from Grace Hall. Somehow, you found yourself not wanting the car ride to end. Talking to Jimin outside of dance practice was nice – even fun, you realized with some surprise.

It was a shame it’d taken you so long to recognize this.

“Seriously, though.” Jimin laughed. “Clubs can be a good time! There’s dancing, there’s music… rumor has it you like dancing.”

“Not that kind of dancing,” you sighed. “That kind of dancing is just a dry version of a lap dance for people who don’t know what to do with their hips.”

Jimin hid behind a smile. “Ouch, on behalf of your boyfriend.”

“Oh!” Straightening, you glanced at him in alarm. “That’s not – I didn’t mean…”

Stricken, you realized the obviousness of what you had said. Forget about your face heating, your entire body felt like an inferno. You had just told Jimin, in so many words, that Finn didn’t know what to do with his hips.

Jimin waved this admission aside. “Don’t worry about it, Y/N. I’ll forget what I heard the instant I get home. Up until tonight, I didn’t know the guy existed, right?”

“Right,” you agreed, settling back in your seat.

Rather than reassure you, this only gave you further pause.

It didn’t seem possible Jimin hadn’t known about Finn. Racking your brains, you tried to think of a time they would’ve crossed paths – only to come up short. Finn hadn’t ever stopped by the studio to pick you up, he hadn’t ever come to mutual hangouts with your Russet friends. Admittedly, Jimin had only recently started attending the same ones as you, but it still seemed unthinkable.

You and Finn had been dating for over two years. Finn’s name should have come up at some point and yet, it hadn’t.

Before you could respond, Jimin pulled to a stop outside your dorm. Glancing over the console, he smiled and again, you were struck by the image.

With his grey sweats, mussed hair and those glasses – you swallowed. It was a side of Jimin you hadn’t seen and something about the visual made your stomach lurch. Before you could launch into full-blown panic, Jimin raised a brow.

“Here you are,” he said with a grandiose wave. “Home sweet home.”

Glancing past him, you took in the steps of Grace Hall.

“Thanks,” you said, pushing open the door. Before exiting the car, you paused and looking over your shoulder. “Seriously, Jimin, thank you. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten home without you.”

In the darkness, you saw his expression soften.

“Anytime,” Jimin said.

You could tell he meant it. There was something to his gaze which made you nod. Jimin wasn’t the type to mince words or say things he didn’t mean. Just like when he said he loved your dancing, you knew Jimin was telling the truth. When he said anytime, he meant it.

Nodding, you resumed exiting the car. Waving goodbye, you stood on the curb until he was out of sight.

Once Jimin disappeared, you sighed and turned towards the building. Grace Hall was silent this late at night – it was nearly 2:00 AM and again, you were thankful Jimin had answered his phone. As you let yourself in and climbed the steps to your room, your thoughts began to race with all the what-ifs.

What-if Jimin hadn’t answered, what-if you’d had to walk home alone, or walk to find a cab. Pressing your eyes shut, you shooed these thoughts away. None of that had actually happened, so it wasn’t worth worrying about.

As soon as you got upstairs, you stepped in the shower – the stickiness of that girl’s drink continued to linger on your skin. After changing into fresh pajamas and brushing your teeth, you wearily climbed into bed. The last thing you did before falling asleep was call Finn again in case he’d returned home.

His phone went straight to voicemail though and, with a sinking stomach, you rolled over in bed and turned off the light.

After sleeping until the last possible moment, you managed to roll yourself out of bed around seven the next morning. This only left fifteen minutes before you needed to leave and even then, you felt like a zombie as you rushed out the door.

Grabbing coffee at the place down the street, you and Noelle entered class with barely ten minutes to spare. Jimin was already present but he was talking to Louis, so you stuck to your side and didn’t interrupt. You wanted to thank him again for his help, but all this flew out the window when a familiar woman followed Mr. Vlad into the classroom.

“Class.” Mr. Vlad set his things down by the window. “You remember Anna Hodelle, I presume – principal dancer at the New York City Ballet. She’s in town for a different master class and has graciously agreed to lead ballet this morning.”

The news was simultaneously exciting and nerve-wracking. Anna had taught a master class several weeks prior which left you sore for days following. Her classes were exciting though, and she was Anna Hodelle, one of the youngest principal dancers for the New York City Ballet in at least forty years – so there was that.

Her introduction didn’t require any response. Scrambling into place at the barre, the class waited while Anna shed her warm-ups and Mr. Vlad left the room. As soon as the music began, you found yourself grateful you hadn’t drunk the night prior.

Similar to her last master class, you found Miss Anna relentless in her pursuit of perfection. Her expectations were high and as a result, everyone gave their best effort – and then some. By the time you broke for water, no less than three students had already run for the bathroom.

It wasn’t pretty, but vomiting was something which happened with dance. Class could be such a grueling workout that occasionally, younger students pushed themselves past their limits. If you ate a big meal before practice, it was increasingly likely you might throw it up after.

You could count on two hands the number of times this had happened to you in high school. There had been some days you practiced so hard, sweat ran down your forehead and blinded your vision. On other days, the floor was so slippery, your bare feet couldn’t grasp the floorboards. Dance, despite being hailed for grace and glamour, tended to be exactly the opposite.

One of your teachers used to say you weren’t using your muscles if they weren’t shaking by the end. Ballerinas were seen as delicate, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Ballet only looked effortless – this was a carefully cultivated image for the audience. At all times, all muscles in a ballerina’s body were engaged, yet even when sweat dripped down her brow, she had to smile.

You’d seen dancers finish their combination, give a sweeping bow, walk gracefully offstage and vomit into the nearest trash can. Everything was for show, everything was for the audience – one of your favorite parts about dance was knowing the brutal behind-the-scenes effort everything took. It made you appreciate the final product all the more.

By the end of class you were exhausted but happy, wiping sweat from your brow while you applauded the teacher. After Anna’s dismissal, you immediately exhaled and trudged towards your bag. Noelle chattered on about a TV show you were watching, reminding you to catch up before Monday.

As you picked up your bag, you felt its front pocket vibrate. Fishing inside for your phone, you pulled this out and felt your eyes widen.

Five missed calls and eight missed texts. Once you opened your phone, you saw they were all from Finn.

Finn: hey [8:18 AM]

Finn: Y/N, I’m so sorry [8:19 AM]

Finn: I don’t know if you’re ignoring me because you’re angry, or if you’re in class right now [8:25 AM]

Finn: you’re probably in class [8:30 AM]

Finn: if you’re not though, please call me back [8:31 AM]

Finn: fuck [9:01 AM]

Finn: I was such an ass last night, Y/N. I’m sorry [9:03 AM]

Finn: … please call me [9:35 AM]

With each text you read, you felt your heart sink. Up until this point, you’d gotten through class by pretending last night hadn’t happened. Now though, you were forced to remember every detail of the night prior.

Finn had left you at the club.

He’d stormed away from your fight, turned off his phone and left you alone. Each time you remembered the night, your fury only grew. This morning when you woke, you’d still been pissed off – even more so, when you turned on your phone and saw zero texts from Finn.

Had your roles been reversed, you never would’ve done the same to him. Sure, it had been a bad fight but who did that? Just took off in the middle of a conversation and shut everything down. The worst part was him turning off his phone. As soon as things didn’t go as planned, Finn simply washed his hands of you.

That was what hurt most of all, the shame burrowing deep into the crevices of your heart.

Beneath everything was a strange twinge of guilt at having called Jimin to pick you up. This was easily brushed aside, though – Finn had left you stranded. If anyone had a right to be mad here, it was you.

“Y/N? You okay?”

Noelle’s voice pulled you from your reverie. Blinking, you lowered your phone and realized you were alone. The rest of the room had cleared out after class – this probably wasn’t the first time Noelle had said your name.

“Shit, sorry!” Hastily, you shoved your phone in your bag. “Yeah… yeah, everything’s fine.”

Noelle gave you a look. “Really?”

After a moment, you sighed. “No,” you said, turning to walk towards the door. “Why pretend? It’s Finn.”

Following you from the classroom, Noelle fell into step alongside you.

“He’s not hurt, is he?” she said carefully.

“Unfortunately, not.”

Noelle snorted. “Okay, so he’s in the doghouse.”

“Yep.”

“Want to talk about it?”

At the top of the stairs, you paused. “Finn and I got in a fight last night,” you admitted. “He wanted to stay at the club, and I wanted to go home – so he told me to leave. I did, but then I realized I had no way to get there.”

Noelle’s mouth dropped. “Are you fucking kidding me? He just… left you there? Wow. The next time I see your ‘boyfriend,’ I’m going to – wait,” she said, pulling up short. “How did you get home, then?”

“I – uh, well… Jimin picked me up.”

Noelle stared at you a moment longer. “Huh. Didn’t expect that.”

“Neither did I,” you said, beginning to walk down the stairs. “Finn turned his cell phone off, so I couldn’t get ahold of him and by then, the trains stopped running. Uber was surging and Jimin is the only person I know with a car, so…”

“Ah, gotcha. That makes sense.” Noelle nodded. “Nice of him to come get you.”

“Yeah, it was nice. Anyways, Finn’s been texting me all morning.”

“Oh!” Noelle groaned. “That was your phone! I kept hearing something vibrating while I was waiting to go across the floor.”

“Yep, that was him,” you said glumly. “Apparently he’s sorry.”

“Of course, he is.”

“He said he was an ass last night.”

“Of course, he did.”

“… I’m still pissed at him.”

“Of course, you are!” Noelle cried, slinging an arm around your shoulder. “Listen, tell him you got home alright – not that he deserves that much, mind you – but you need some time to cool off. He can wait until you’re ready to talk, right?”

Nodding, you saw sense in what she was saying. “You’re right.”

Despite Noelle making sense though, part of you didn’t want to wait.

Part of you wanted to call Finn back right now and give him a piece of your mind, but you knew if you did that, things wouldn’t end well. He deserved to be cussed out, but you were completely exhausted. The idea of fighting with your boyfriend left you feeling drained.

Noelle was right – Finn could wait until you were ready to talk, whenever that was.

Pulling out your phone a second time, you texted Finn you were safe and that you’d talk when you were ready. Once he responded okay, you shoved your phone in your pocket.

Noelle looked sympathetically on. “Why don’t we have a girl’s night?” she said, arm back around your shoulder. “We can invite Irene and Ari and just watch dumb movies and eat brownie batter in fancy lingerie. You know, like every guy’s sleepover porn fantasy.”

You couldn’t help it, you laughed. “Sounds like a plan,” you said with a grin. “God, what would I do without you?”

“Be super bored, probably.”

You snorted, but the thought stuck in your mind as you left the building. It really would be awful without Noelle by your side. Without meaning to, your thoughts strayed to Sabrina. Aside from Katie and Allison, you had no idea who she hung out with.

It had to be lonely for someone like her. Russet was intense enough without a support system. You quickly pushed these feelings aside – even if Sabrina was lonely, she had no one to blame but herself. You’d offered the olive branch enough times by now to know when to stop.

“I guess only one question remains,” you said slowly.

Noelle glanced your way. “Oh, yeah? What?”

“How dumb are the dumb movies we’re watching? Like, From Justin to Kelly dumb – where it’s a guilty pleasure? Or, more like The Kissing Booth dumb – where things are just bad dumb.”

“Why choose?” Noelle shrugged. “Let’s do both!”

“Deal!”

As you climbed the steps to Grace Hall, you continued to ignore Finn’s texts in your bag. He could wait until tomorrow, at least. After what he put you through, a single night of not knowing what you were thinking seemed appropriate.

When you finally gave in and called Finn the next day, you weren’t sure what you were hoping for. Finn had already texted his apology, so at least he knew he’d been in the wrong. As to what degree he was aware, you didn’t know, but you got a fairly good idea once he picked up the phone.

Short answer: very wrong.

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” Finn blurted, as though afraid you might cut him off. “I was such an ass to you Friday night. I – I don’t even know what to say. I don’t even know where to start. I fucked up so bad, Y/N and I’m sorry.”

Silence followed this outburst as you frowned, leaning back on the bed.

Noelle had graciously left the room to study at the coffee shop on the corner. Secretly, you knew this was mostly to flirt with the barista, Namjoon, but you couldn’t begrudge her for that. Namjoon did have the most adorable dimples you’d ever seen.

Focusing your thoughts on Finn, you played with a stray thread of your sheets. “I mean… that’s a good start, I guess,” you muttered. “But what are you really sorry for, Finn?”

His sigh was soft. “Everything.”

“Specifics would be good.”

“I was drunk,” he exhaled. “That’s not an excuse, but… I honestly don’t remember everything that I said to you. I remember the gist of it though, and I know it was terrible. I know you didn’t deserve it.”

You remained silent, even though you agreed with him.

“I wanted to stay out,” he continued. “That doesn’t really matter, though. I was a dick. I was stubborn and angry, and I took that out on you. You’re the last person I would ever want to hurt, and I just… I left you. Something could’ve happened to you. God, if something had happened, Y/N…”

Finn trailed off and you heard his voice crack but forced yourself to stay silent. Hearing him break was hard, but you reminded yourself what you’d felt Friday night – all the anger and terror when he completely disappeared.

This memory hardened you enough not to melt at his apology.

“Yeah, well,” you said tightly. “You’re right – something could’ve happened. The trains weren’t running and Uber was crazy expensive. I couldn’t get back in the club. I ended up waiting outside for nearly twenty minutes before someone came to pick me up.”

“Fuck.” Finn sounded strangled. “Fuck… Y/N, I’m sorry…”

In your mind, you envisioned him shoving a hand through his hair. Finn did that when he was stressed or upset and right now, he sounded a little of both.

“Yeah.”

He was quiet for a moment. “Who picked you up?”

Immediately, you stiffened. “Do you seriously think you deserve an answer to that?”

“No, no, I – you’re right, it doesn’t matter. Thank them for me, okay?”

You remained silent and again, Finn sighed.

“Are you… are we going to be okay?”

It was a loaded question. Closing your eyes, you leaned your head to the wall. In all honesty, you didn’t know the answer to that.

On the one hand, you loved Finn. That hadn’t changed. On the other hand, it was becoming more and more apparent your problems weren’t going away. It would be foolish to pretend otherwise – but all couples had problems, didn’t they?

In the back of your mind, you couldn’t help but think a break-up should be more obvious than this. A break-up should be something big, something irreversible. You were beginning to wonder though, at what point were problems considered insurmountable. Everything about this seemed grey and right now, you really needed black and white answers.

Both your lives were changing, as Jimin had said. Freshman year was a cacophony of change; in order to succeed, you and Finn needed to learn to grow with each other. Hiccups were to be expected, bumps in the road were to be expected, but if you wanted to stay together, you needed to learn how to fight for this relationship.

“I think so,” you said, opening your eyes. “I think we’ll be okay. I just… Finn, you really hurt me that night.”

“I know.”

“It can’t happen again.”

“It won’t.”

“You know… I want to spend time with you, right?”

“I… do.”

He paused for longer than you would’ve liked, but you brushed past it. “I know you like going to clubs and all that,” you said. “But that’s not really me. Maybe next time we can do something different. Something a little more low-key.”

“Yeah.” Finn chuckled. “That sounds nice, honestly.”

“Good.”

“At least my friends really liked you.”

Taken aback, you snorted. “Oh, come on, Finn. I was barely there.”

“I’m being serious! Ben told me he thinks you’re funny.”

“Ben,” you groaned. “Has all the humor of a wet sock.”

Finn laughed and this time, it sounded like him. His laugh had been watery before, a restrained version but now, his true mirth broke free. As soon as the sound hit your ears, you began to relax. Truthfully, you hadn’t been sure things would be okay until then. Hearing him laugh, you knew Finn meant it. He wanted this, too.

“You’re right,” he agreed. “Ben sucks, but at least he has the taste to know that you don’t. Next time, we’ll do something more fun.”

“Next time,” you agreed.

“Next time.”

Despite your conversation having gone as well as it possibly could’ve, uncertainty continued to linger in the back of your mind.

You spent Sunday evening watching TV, but still slept restlessly before your class the next morning. Mr. Vlad’s ballet was definitely not one you wanted to arrive at ill-rested, but Monday you showed up with bags under your eyes.

You tried to push all negative thoughts from mind while warming up at the barre. By the time class broke for water, you were feeling marginally better. Ballet was soothing that way. The repetitiveness of barre helped to put things in perspective. Your ankle had almost completely healed by this point and now, two weeks after the fall, your technique had finally begun to improve.

No longer were you the last one to catch onto combinations and Mr. Vlad only yelled once about your turnout at barre. This was a marked improvement from the start of the year and although you still were far from the top, you felt relatively good about your standing. You had a feeling once you and Jimin began to practice, the moves would come even easier.

The first combination at center was a slow adagio. It wasn’t particularly difficult aside from a lift in the middle, but despite the familiarity of the moves, Jimin was being oddly hesitant.

Mr. Vlad showed the combination with his dance assistant, Mina. After they demonstrated a particularly difficult lift, they gave everyone time to practice – which, in your and Jimin’s case, turned out to be necessary.

“Ladies, pique to arabesque!” Mr. Vlad called from the front. “Lift your leg higher and – the man lifts! He walks you in a promenade. Then you’re lowered, exhale – and bourrée!”

Brian immediately raised his hand for help, so Mr. Vlad left to assist in his corner. The lift was proving itself to be tricky – it required most of your weight balanced against Jimin’s side while he gripped your thigh, lifting you up.

You and Jimin began to practice, but no matter what you did, nothing seemed to be working. After the fourth failed attempt where Jimin nearly dropped you on your ass, you shakily landed and whirled around.

“Alright,” you said, both hands on your hips. “What’s going on?”

Jimin’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, how’re you supposed to lift me if you’re barely touching me? Look at Sabrina and Paulo!” you said, gesturing in their direction. “He’s got his whole fucking hand under her leg!”

Jimin’s cheeks turned red. “I – uh, right. Yeah. Let’s try it again.”

Staring at him another moment, you nodded and returned to your spot. Jimin settled into fifth position, jaw clenched and looking as though he were in pain. You stared at him in the mirror, considering calling him out before thinking better of it.

Taking a deep breath, you piqued into arabesque. Leaning your weight to Jimin, he reached again for your thigh – only to falter, leaving you hanging.

“Jimin!” you half-laughed as you slipped down his leg.

“I’m sorry!” Jimin blurted, stepping away. Looking thoroughly distraught, he shoved both hands through his hair. “It’s just… well, I…”

“It’s just what?”

“You have a boyfriend,” he said, a bit pained.

In response to this, both your eyebrows shot up. That had not been the answer you’d expected.

“I… okay?” you said, failing to grasp the point. “So what?”

“So.” Jimin glanced furtively around. “I don’t know, it’s just weird! I don’t want to… overstep my boundaries, or anything.”

“But…” You stared. “I had a boyfriend last week and it wasn’t a problem.”

“Okay, but last week I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”

Again, you looked at him as though he was crazy.

“This is stupid,” you said, stepping closer. “Ballet is our job, Jimin. It’s the least sexy occupation on the planet. Right now, I’m bleeding from three different blisters inside my pointe shoes. I’m sure my deodorant has long worn off by now. Would you just fucking get over yourself and grab my thigh?”

Jimin’s upper lip twitched. “Well. When you put it like that.”

“I am putting it like that,” you said with a grin. “Now, let’s go again.”

Nodding, Jimin followed when you walked backwards. Taking another deep breath, you piqued to arabesque and this time, Jimin didn’t flinch when your weight transitioned to his. Hand sliding beneath your thigh, he lifted you easily into a promenade.

As soon as you turned your head, you caught Jimin’s gaze and felt – something.

Something other than the white noise of the room. Something other than the thud-thud of your heart, other than the music on the stereo and Mr. Vlad yelling counts from the corner.

Despite what you had just finished saying, something unknown seemed to bloom in your chest. In the middle of the lift – blood blisters and all – you felt an errant spark where Jimin’s front pressed to yours.

You barely had time to recognize this before the moment was gone. Slowing his walk, Jimin set you back down – and you wobbled.

This time it had nothing to do with his technique.

“Ah, shit.” Jimin frowned. “That’s my bad – I can do better! Let’s try it again.”

Nodding, you felt a bit wooden as you followed in his footsteps. When Mr. Vlad started the music, you fought the surging tide of emotions threatening to overwhelm. It had been nothing, you told yourself. Nothing of importance, anyways.

Shoving whatever you’d felt in a box, you pushed this to a corner of your mind and firmly shut the door. Forcing a smile to your lips, you lifted your chin as you began the combination.

It was lucky everyone else found you a talented performer, since beneath all your smiling, all you could think about was what was hidden in the box.

Something unknown, something tentative – and something which could be dangerous, if it ever came to light.

Author’s Note: I was so close to re-writing this chapter with Mr. Vlad picking her up LOL just kidding, but thank you for reading! 😊 New chapters of Raise the Barre are posted weekly; dates are listed on the series Master List. Requests for updates will be deleted.

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