#anyways I am so normal and things are fine and Im not having a mental breakdown about this

[arrowpunk]

Well I got a job

#ramblings of an arrow #I realize I probably should be celebrating #and this is an objectively good thing #and not the end of the world #I am just kinda still tired and burned out lol and not looking forward to working full time again #especially since last time I worked full time I was usually sneaking out early and not actually being there a full 8 hours #which worked fine because I was the only one in the office #which will not work at all at this job that actually has other ppl around lol #it will probably be good for me to have a routine though #and I Know that having consistent income will do wonders for my mental health #I am just...... like already feeling tired in anticipation lol #the irony #I wont start for 2 weeks #and I wanna get art shit done before then #but I have been washed in a wave of exhaustion and now I dont know if I will be able to #which is not great considering I doubt I will have much time for art at all with a full time job #anyways I am so normal and things are fine and Im not having a mental breakdown about this #this is an objectively good thing #it is #i just also wish ubi was a thing so I didnt have to have extreme financial anxiety and could be unemployed and focus on art without #the financial anxiety in the way #i will live #things will be okay #im in a supportef enough position that if it sucks I Can quit #so like no matter what things will be FINE And I just need to calm the fuck down

[milo-is-rambling]

I am so high I love you dabs I love you big bong rips I love you huge heavy bong I love you only having 20 dollars to my name and no plans but getting high and ignoring it I love you oh no I’m thinking about it

#I want to take an ice cold shower and scream and smoke a whole pack of cigarettes and lock myself in a closet for 72 hours in the dark with #no distractions to figure out what I actually want to do with the rest of my life and to face every bad thought I have and struggle to #ignore even years later like ugh I just need to be at the bottom of the ocean floating sinking alive dead in between for like a month and #then pull me back up and either I’ll be normal or I’ll be so fucked up they just put me back in there #like either way I am vibing at the bottom of the ocean (I have been desperately imaging a sensory deprivation tank all day) #(put me in a fucking sensory deprivation tank until something in my fucking brain rewires and I get worse or better than I am now this #inbetween stage is fucking killing me like what do you mean I’m not a horrible person but also what do you mean I struggle every day but I’m #normal but I have things about me other people don’t and alienate me to the point of near total isolation but also this is just how humans #are and I need to take meds and actively struggle to fit into a perfect little box of what a person should be like god damn I am so tired of #getting better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and I’m miserable and I’m happy and I’m sobbing and #I know a month from now I’ll be depressed again or I’ll be the best I’ve ever been and it’s so fucking horrible to be in the middle stage #where I actually have to step up and admit shit is wrong and face it like why can’t I just lay in bed forever until I become the bed and not #like get a job and have a future. ugh. depression is so fucked esp bc most things in my life are normal I guess or like easier than my #friends like we all have seperate challenges but I’m the only one still living off their parents (ha. parent. forgot for a second.) and the #only thing wrong with my life is the mental health issues but I won’t step up and deal with it bc I feel like I’ve been depressed for so #long I like fucked up the foundational shit and like I know it’s fine but also I feel so behind and I feel like I’ll be behind and unhappy #forever even when im happy I know the next depressive episode is right around the corner and I give up again. ugh. I hate knowing that’s #what’s wrong with me but still not having the energy to step up and fix it. im so pathetic I want to cry. my brain is me but my brain is #destroying my life. anyways. im high and now im sad and have dry mouth. I think im gonna drink ice water and change into shorts+lay in bed)

[burningcomputerpersona]

also how is it that spanish love songs has such good merch??? i don't think I've ever been to a show before where I had to struggle so hard to pick just one thing, like in a lot of cases there's only really one thing that appeals to me or I just get something bc i love the band and need to have them on me regardless of what the design looks like. but i was spending ages just staring at the merch stand trying to pick one out of alllll the things i wanted

#i got one shirt with 'stay alive out of spite' on the back and i love it #i thougt super long and hard about the brave faces everyone shirt because it is literally one of my favorite songs #but i decided not to go for it bc i have their baseball hat with the exact same words on it anyway #also they had this really awesome zip up hoodie that I was staring at for ages #but alas it was 60 bucks and i do not have that kind of money lol #at first i was looking through their merch like omg theres so much good stuff i need to get this shirt and that shirt and that hoodie and #then i saw the prices and remembered I'd probably have to narrow it down to just one shirt lol #I'm not actually really about it though i freaking love this shirt im actually wearing it right now lol #it's definitely gonna be one of my favorite shirts to wear #also i need to do a revamp of my wardrobe #all my tops are black band tees which is fine but most of them are from hot topic and of mostly big bands that i don't listen to super often #and like that was fine when i first got them #but it is not enough now i I need several shirts for the same bands that i am Obsessed with bc one shirt per band is not enough #i am a very normal person with very normal ideas about clothes and music and a very regular amount of interest in bands #anyway all this to say i might end up getting a bunch of sls merch anyway in the future #just so i can wear them while also listening to them which would be all the time #anyway i think this shirt is gonna be super good for my mental health bc every time i wear it im gonna be thinking of the lyrics on the back #also im definitely washing this (and my whole outfit) tomorrow morning so i can wear it again right away and show it off to everyone #if ur wondering about the washing part its bc i have a general routine when it comes to getting merch at shows #where i go to the merch stand right away so i can get a good size before its sold out #and i put it on over my t shirt so i don't have to worry about carrying it #and its also the outermost layer so the band gets to see me wearing it like hiii i love ur stuff so much i got it and wore it to see you #now this does have the unfortunate side effect of getting absolutely drenched in sweat after the show #one time i was wearing three shirts at once along with a hoodie tied to my waist bc i got a bunch of merch and it was sooo warm #i have no intentions of changing this routine though i like how efficient it is #oh also the shirt is green!! another thing that made me choose it over the others #i literally do not own any green shirts #so i am very happy that i have a very nice shirt that i like in a new color #mine #my shows

[s1renidae]

im a big breakfast hater so most days i end up not eating anything for breakfast which is Bad so i was making this mango lime overnight oats recipe that was posted by someone whos recipes ive consistently rly liked so that i could try eating something in the morning that doesnt taste like eggs bacon cardboard or a stroke in my mid 20s and my dad came in and was all like "so is this some new health thing you're on? -_-" ??? yeah totally its a new health trend that all the kids are trying its called eating more than 1 meal a day

#.txt #nothing against my dad but god i am so so so beyond tired of not living alone i need to move out like. yesterday #because literally even the smallest most normal non-invasive interactions are getting so so irritating i find myself wanting to snap at him #brb gonna google 'how to move out quick when you're chronically unemployed mentally disabled and have like maybe 200 in savings' #surely someone will have the answer..... maybe if i add 'reddit' at the end..... #ugh i feel bad cuz this is so Nothing like this is such a stupid thing ot be lingering on/upset abt #but like idk i used to have an ed and bad food paranoia and EVERYONE in my family talks casually about either weight loss/health (fine) #or in my dads case. how hes gotten sooooo fat and out of shape lately and how he considers it a personal failure #(i have been proportionally chubbier than him for literally my whole life and still am) #and anyway whatever i ve justg always been touchy about ppl commenting on my eating habits or choices so im rly fucking buggin

[filmbyjy]

hiii

you may not recognize me and thats because im (kinda) new hehe.. anyway, i've been kinda stalking you- but that's besides the point. i loveee your workss!! keep up the good work <3 idk if asks are open, but if they are, could you write a fluffy fem!reader x bf!niki where the reader comes home from a long day, and niki comforts her?? and if you cant, its totally ok <3

have a nice day!

a/n: this has been in the drafts for a year now💀 so sorry, I am trying to clear the drafts but my schedule is shit and we all know I suck at keeping up with my schedule😍

WELCOME HOME

it was past 8pm when you had treaded through the front door of your apartment. your body sore from leaning over the tables and wiping it. normally, the cafe you work at was peaceful and was decently packed but after a viral video that practically wowed the internet.

there had been more and more people stopping by everyday. the cafe was decently sized but it was short staffed so sometimes you had to man the cashier, do the dishes, clean the tables and make the drinks. for normal days (before the surge of people), there was about 2 people working per shift, not including the 2 bakers in the kitchen as they were the behind the scenes staff that were required to be there.

with not that many staff per shift, it was hard for you and whoever was working that day to manage the cafe. that also meant more demands from the customers who think they are entitled to make a mess of the space as 'customers are always right'. curse, whoever made that quote.

you were mentally and physically drained. you just needed a good long rest for the rest of the week. however, you couldn't do that. not when your off-days were already used up for visiting your family back in your hometown. if only you could just...take a breather.

"welcome home, baby!" ni-ki slides into the hallway just as you walked towards the living room. you gave him a tired smile.

"hi riki, why aren't you at the dorm?" ni-ki gives you a playful pout.

"already kicking me out? baby, you wound me. i came to see you and you're already pushing me away." he says as he throws his (long) arms around you. "you weren't answering my calls so i assumed it was a long day at work and you didn't charge your phone."

you took out your phone and tried to turn it on but it was indeed dead. "sorry, today was a hectic day. couldn't even get a proper lunch break. there was so many people coming over for the past week."

"yeah, i heard about it. jake hyung talked about wanting to come over and buy some desserts. they did look good but since you know us being celebrities...we could get mobbed."

you hummed, "that's fair. it's a good thing you didn't go. seriously, have never seen such a long queue outside of the cafe in my whole years of working there."

"there was a queue?" he says as he pulls back from the hug.

"yeah, i felt like i was working at some fancy restaurant. oh god, speaking of there are so many karens trying to scam me and gaslight me into thinking i did something wrong when i did nothing wrong." you groaned and buried your head against ni-ki's chest.

he pats your head. "were you the shift manager?"

"usually i am whenever i am working that day."

"mmm, then you could've kicked them out and taught them a lesson."

"trust me, i wanted to but i can't i'll lose my job so i just sucked it up and patiently worked with them and even gave them a free bagel."

"not the free bagels, baby. they'll just come back again for more." ni-ki huffs.

"i know but what am i supposed to do." you sniffled as the tears that unknowingly appeared falls. you were just mad and exhausted. ni-ki obviously heard it so he pulls you back and cups your face.

"hey hey, don't cry. everything will be fine. why don't i run you a bath and then order some of your favourite food, okay?" he wipes the tears that were falling down.

"will cuddles be included?"

"of course. cuddles will be included. now, just lay in bed and i'll get the bath running." he pecks your forehead and goes to move to bedroom. however, you grabbed his wrist.

"carry me to my bedroom?" you pout. ni-ki smiles and scoops you up in his arms. he princess carries you over to your bed and places you gently onto the mattress before going over to the bathroom and getting ready the bathtub.

you had shut your eyes for a bit since you were tired but the exhaustion took a toll on you and you fell asleep for a little. ni-ki shakes you a little. "baby? the bath is ready. go enjoy it, i already placed an order so the food should be on the way soon."

you hummed and went over to the bathroom to remove your clothing and step into the bathtub. you laid your back against the edge of the tub and shut your eyes again. the candle light making everything moody and warm. you were enjoying the comfortable warmth and silence, much better than the bustling sounds at the cafe. this felt nice.

you had spent in the bathroom for about 20 minutes or so before deciding to get out of the tub. you didn't want to your fingers or toes to look like dried prunes so you decided to just get out of the water. you had grabbed the towel and dried yourself off. you could hear a knock at the door.

"baby, i have pyjamas with me. i forgot to leave them inside the bathroom." you opened the door to ni-ki. he had one hand out to hold the pyjama set and the other hand covering his eyes. a very gentleman thing of him to always do if you came out of the shower in just your towel.

you had noticed he too was wearing a pyjama set and it was similar to yours. of course, he loved matching things with you. you grabbed the pyjamas. "mmm, i think you forgot to grab my undergarments."

his ears quickly turned red in embarrassment. "ah, i knew i forget something. i-i'll just leave the room so you could change." and so ni-ki bolts out of the room and shuts the door. you shook your head, laughing a little since he was so adorable.

you changed into the pyjamas after putting on your undergarments and then went out to the living room. there ni-ki was, turning on the tv and searching up your favourite anime to watch together and setting up the food onto the coffee table. you had come up behind him and back hugged him.

"i have the best boyfriend in the world." you say. ni-ki smiles.

"well, let's not forget your boyfriend is one of a kind. where can you get another nishimura riki, member of boy band enhypen, in the world." he boasts. you playfully rolled your eyes and released him.

"that's very humble of you, riki." you playfully say.

"oh, i know. i'm just that hot." ni-ki smirks. you laughed.

"yeah, you are. now, will my hunk of a boyfriend please just cuddle and eat with me?"

"of course, i'll eat with my beautiful and amazing girlfriend any time." he steals a small peck to your lips and settles down on the couch. you gave him a playful gaze and settled right next to him.

after some time, you found yourself tangled with ni-ki. your legs and his long ones were somehow crossed in between in each other as you cuddled like cats laying together.

"oh, it's over?" you say.

"no, it can't be." ni-ki gasps.

a flash to the tv showed 'season 2 coming soon'. it made both you and ni-ki groan. "that's lame. we have to wait for the next season? that's going to take 1-2 years." ni-ki whines.

"they're going to pull another 'Spy Family' thing where there isn't going to have episodes in the next season, i can feel it." you complained.

"boooo. let's watch something else." ni-ki grumbles.

"yeah, let's watch-"

"let's watch, you. you're really pretty." ni-ki says as he stares down at you. ah, this playful and teasing ni-ki is appearing now.

"that wasn't that smooth, riki."

"well, to me it was. besides, this is a signal for you to reward me and i don't know give me a kiss or at least a peck? i am an amazing boyfriend, right?"

you snort, "yes, riki. you are but you're not getting that peck."

"what? why." he pouts.

"because..." you got closer to him and watches you with adorable doe eyes. before you unexpectedly peck him and ran away. ni-ki sits there confused, trying to analyse the situation properly. until he finally digested it.

"hey! get back here!" he yells as he tries to chase after you.

you could've not felt any better.

and being with ni-ki helped it.

#clearing out my ask box #bc i need to do it #i still have more #clown behaviour #but i'm trying my best to clear it out!! #enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen imagine #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen x reader #enhypen x reader imagines #ni ki #ni ki imagines #ni ki imagine #ni ki angst #ni ki fluff #ni ki x reader #ni-ki #ni-ki imagines #ni-ki imagine #ni-ki angst #ni-ki fluff #nishimura riki #nishimura riki imagines #nishimura riki imagine #nishimura riki angst #nishimura riki fluff #nishimura riki x reader

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for telling my mum she's being ignorant?

cw// racism .

I (18MtF) have a really, really good mum all things considered. She's been amazing about my transition, has gone to marches, spoke on radio, written articles and gotten into public spats on twitter (she's a semi-public figure) defending me. We live in the UK, so this is really a big thing on terf island lol. She's pretty good about mental health, and advocated in my youth aswell when I got diagnosed autistic.

Here is where it gets messy. My mum works in education for context, so is very clued in to the news and things. She's a hard-core feminist (I would probably call her a radical feminist to be honest). All of her friends are older women in education and journalism professions, and she speaks to them about feminist topics regularly. The thing is that ALL of them are white. Most of them are upper class (my parents both grew up dirt poor and had to work hard for everything they had). I have a number of bipoc friends, and there has been some weird instances of my mum accidentally breaking out the microaggressions that made me uncomfy, never anything massive, but enough to make me feel just a bit weird.

Tonight we watched the new Martin Scorsese film Killers of the Flower Moon. Often on the way home from seeing films like this, my mum and I will discuss politics and society, but I usually steer the conversation away from race because it isn't something I want to bring up with her, especially in a space where i cant exactly roll my eyes and go quiet without annoying her. However, race is a key topic in this film. Discussions were going fine, and then my mum did this weird thing I've noticed her do before. I had been explaining that indigenous women go missing and are often barely looked for because of factors of racism and misogyny, she immediately chimed in talking about a very different situation, about the cervical cancer scare in Ireland where tests for cervical cancer weren't carried out properly, but all the women were told they were clear anyway, resulting in many women suffering from a disease that could've been caught much earlier.

Normally I would just move on and engage with this, but it enraged me this time, mostly because it was an evocative film that left me with a lot of emotions and also because earlier that day she'd said something microaggressive about my girlfriend, who is black. I told her that it was obviously awful and I get she was just trying to empathise, but that it was a completely different situation because it didn't have that intersection of race and misogyny. She made some point about how she was "Sure there were people of color affected by the scandal" but I told her that that wasn't the point and that she was being ignorant. She got passive aggressive and didn't talk to me for the rest of the night.

I seriously don't know if it would've just been better to engage with her on that and then steer our conversation back to something more focused on race or to just abandon it altogether or whatever. I guess im also sick of not being able to talk about race at all with her, and feeling embarrassed bringing my friends over because I feel like she's gonna say something. I just don't really know how to bring it up because the only thing she can ever compare it to is misogyny, when obviously these are very different things, but I don't feel like this was the best way I'd gone about it.

Was I the asshole ?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[xyyvex]

Rumors or Not?

Vampire!Taylor Swift x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Words: 1,052

A/N:this is my first time writing fanfics ya'll, hope you'll enjoy it :) sorry if it's not that good 😅

Parts: 1 , 2

Y/N'S POV

I am Y/N L/N, I have been working at a cafe as Barista for a while now and i enjoyed it, especially when i see people smile, people would think that I would quit my job or its not safe because i work at night, but for me I'm fine with it, plus my house is just a few walk away from this cafe so I have nothing to worry about, also there were rumors saying that vampires exist in this world and they stroll out at night, i didn't believe them because they were just myths.

i am currently on my phone scrolling through the social media to entertain myself as i was waiting for a customer, then something caught my attention. it was a post about Taylor Swift, i decided to check it out because I am huge fan of taylor swift herself, my eyes suddenly widened at what i just red, it was a post about suspecting Taylor Swift as vampire, anger starts to build up inside of me at the post. I think to myself, WHY THE HELL WOULD THEY THINK THAT??! VAMPIRES DONT EVEN EXIST! THAT'S JUST STRAIGHT UP BULLSHIT i started to be frustrated at this news that I didn't hear the bell of the door ring. i pressed the button to post a comment as i wrote something defending her, as a Swiftie ofc I'll defend her from those stupid haters. i started to type.. THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT WHY WOULD SHE BE A VAMPIRE? VAMPIRE DOESN'T EVEN EXIST STOP MAKING UP FAKE NEWS i press the post and groaned in frustration putting my phone down on the counter.

i looked to my left to check for any customers and got startled by woman figure infront "SHIT! you scared me!" the woman giggled and spoke "Oh I'm sorry dear.. you seem frustrated that you didn't notice me, is everything all right?" the woman ask, her voice sounding so familiar, i stand up and fix myself finally getting a better view at the woman, my eyes widened and my breath got stuck at my throat, Taylor Swift. Taylor Fucking Swift was standing infront of me, inside the cafe, i tried to control my nervousness and excitement acting normal around her so I won't weird her out. "O-oh u-um Sorry about that i just saw something i didn't like." i mentally slap myself for stuttering "It's okay don't worry" she reassured, "Y-yeah so what would you like??" i flash her a nervous smile "Could i just get some Black Coffee and a Croissant?" she stated, "Of course! dine in or take out?" "I'd prefer dine in" "alright I'll serve your order once it done ma'am" "Thank you dear.." she flashed me and smile before walking to her seat, i turned around and start panicking HOLY SHIT! TAYLOR SWIFT IS IN MY CAFE, SHE TALKED TO ME, AND SHE SMILED AT ME AND DID SHE JUST CALLED ME DEAR?, AM I DREAMING?? PLS DONT TELL ME IM DREAMING, i pinch my thigh to test it, I'M NOT! ITS REAL! OH MY GOD! THIS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPEN! , i start fangirling inside but soon shaked my head remembering that I have an order, i slowly made my way to the coffee machine brewing her coffee and getting her croissant from the pantry.

once its all done i put it on a tray and walked towards her serving her order. "here you go ma'am a freshly brewed Black Coffee and a delicious Croissant!" i smiled and put her order carefully at the table "Thank you very much dear.." i blush slightly at this and nod before going back, good thing she didn't notice my blush because God that would be embarrassing! i sat back down at my place still processing what's happening, i suddenly got startled by a hand on my shoulder yelping "OH GOD DUDE! WHAT'S WITH TONIGHT?? I KEEP GETTING JUMPSCARED!" i turned around to my friend who works here at the cafe aswell "Well if you weren't always zoning out! you won't get jumpscared.." she said scoffing playfuly "what are you even thinking anyways?" she ask "YOU DONT KNOW?" "dont know what exactly..?" i stare at her in disbelief, "TAYLOR SWIFT IS IN OUR CAFE!!" i said in low voice, she raised her eyebrow at me, "and? what's with it?" "WHY AREN'T YOU FREAKING OUT?" "why would i? I'm not even that much of a fan" she stated, i scoff at this and playfully hit her shoulder, "you're no fun"

I couldn't help but still glances at her direction, as i watch her enjoy her order, she look back at me flashing a smile as i get caught staring, my eyes widened and instantly moved my gaze, blushing in embarrassment OH GOD Y/N! NOW SHE THINKS YOU'RE A CREEP! i groaned putting my head down at the counter, few moments later I heard footsteps approaching me, i perked my head up seeing her approach me, i instantly stood up and fixed myself. "Thanks for the delicious food dear.. I might comeback again tomorrow night" she winked before paying and walking away. I started blushing again when she winked at me and mentally panicking. WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED.. I started zoning out trying to process what just happened.. until my friend went up infront me and wave. "Hello..? earth to y/n!" she said, i flinch out of thoughts and look at her "oh um.. hi?" she sighed and shake her head "you're zoning out again!" "sorry.." "whatever just go pack up your Inlove ass we're closing" she tease, "I AM NOT INLOVE WITH HER OKAY?" "I didn't say who~" she cooed causing me to blush "shut up" i hit her on the shoulder playfully, packing things up before closing. i think to myself.. i hope she comes back.. i shake my head trying to disregard the thought stop it y/n she's a celebrity there's no way she'll ever like you back, i sighed as i lock the cafe doors and start walking towards my apartment. my friend abigail walks beside me as we were roommates, soon we arrive at our apartment opening the door, going inside,i went upstairs and plop down to the bed, exhausted, i didn't bother changing as sleep was taking over me.

A/N: AAA IM SO HAPPY HOW THIS TURNED OUT I SUCK AT MAKING FANFICS BUT I'M PROUD OF MYSELF THAT IM ABLE TO CREATE ONE 😭 HOPE YA'LL ENJOYED IT 😊😊 there will be more parts coming dw ;)

#taylor swift x reader #taylor swift #taylor swift x you #taylor swift x y/n #vampire au #vampire #gxg

[walkiingcandle]

Hiii i saw that your request were open so i would like to make a request if thats alright. (: ok ok Micheal Myers (OG) but he's really close to the reader and is nice 🖐😭 basically soft Micheal because i feel like there isn't enough of that which i understand cause well... He's Micheal Myers... 😐 but.. But its fine. He's just my comfort character which ik is weird but im mentally ill he's... Mentally ill so its ok and i just want to be loved 🖐😭. Anyway i understand if you dont want to write for this, ty and stay safe out there (: ciao 💝💛💖💕🔮💞🪐💫

LMFOAJEGE I UNDERSTAND W THE COMFORT CHARACTER

so here it is ! :)

Soft! Michael Myers(og) x Reader

if you and Michael are close to probably met at child age, so for this Michael and Reader met during childhood and got really close then !

when you met the young myers boy years ago you never would have believed anyone if they told you that he would become the 'bogeyman' or 'The shape of Haddonfield' you would've called them crazy then go back to whatever game you and the blonde child was playing.

Growing up you and Michael loved across the street from one another, never having a conversation until you ran into him on the sidewalk, apologizing profusely and that is how your relationship with the quiet man had started.

Michael is definitely protective, he cherishes you eternally, the one good thing he has and he doesn't plan to let that go.

If loomis ever finds out and he starts questioning you or harassing you. Michael will be absolutely livid.

His favorite thing to do, and kinda a routine with the two is sitting on the couch, cartoon pajamas, some sort if sugary cereal, and Saturday morning cartoons on the TV. Saturdays are you and Michael days, no work, murder, just the two of you and any pet you have :)

He cherishes these days, knowing he wouldn't be able to live a normal life.

If you and him are close you probably have reached the unmasked Michael checkpoint! therefore if you are doing anything and he is feeling the need for attention he will give you kisses on the face/any exposed skin until you give you're 100% attention to him.

Definitely not a huge cuddler but likes remoders that you are there, so a hand or his foot touching you during the night. Also a light sleeper, so if you have to get up, he will be awake and alert for any danger

he is not opposed to you cuddling up to him tho :)

in conclusion, Michael loves you very much, he tries his hardest, give him time and he will come around !

I hope you enjoyed! it has been awhile since I've watched og!Halloween so I hope I conveyed Michael as the softest I can :) I am happy to provide you with more soft Michael and if you want anymore feel free to ask 💗 remember have a great spooky season and stay safe <3

#michael myers #michael my beloved #peepaw myers #michael myers x reader #slasher headcanons #slashers #slasher community #slasher #slasher imagines

[lorillee]

okay okay hear me out maya and diego for the duo bingo

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU GUYS youre my bestest friends for ever and ever. thank you for indulging me. ok ok ok frankly its literally CRIMINAL that for a relationship that is like literally half the crux of the final case of aa3 there is like. no content . at all. and it breaks my poor heart into PIECES its really truly does. like ok the thing is people only ever seem interested in exploring this relationship via mia but the problem is 1) i dont want it to just be about mia. yes obviously mia is the springboard for this relationship's existence in the first place since she's maya's older sister and diego's girlfriend but like come on guys you are all SO..... sigh. this is such wasted potential. come on 2) THEY NEVER DO ANYTHING INTERESTING WITH ITTTTT

okay because like. personally i think mia & maya's relationship is infinitely more interesting if maya has incredibly complicated feelings that she simply is trying really really hard not to address. like because in aa3 i think if you present mia's profile to maya, maya says that she really misses her and phoenix asks why she doesnt just ask pearl to channel her, and maya gives some complete bs non response of "ohhh i wouldnt want to burden her" or something. which makes no sense. like come on guys. really. anyways maya is the kind of person who really doesnt hold grudges - when people to terrible things her first response is generally more to sympathize with the victim and less getting angry at the perpetrator. even with the mask demasque case where she was a literal victim, she gets mad at phoenix for wanting to defend ron for like a few minutes before letting it blow over and moving on. furthermore, like any ace attorney character, maya also really loves avoiding her problems and trying super hard to Not Think About Them.

with this in mind i think the most interesting way to interpret her relationship with mia is that she does actually feel resentment towards her for frolicking off into the distance to become a lawyer and to some degree kind of abandoning her in the same way that their mom did, but the problem is because its maya her internal thought process goes "i am frustrated at mia for leaving me alone -> but mia loved me -> if mia loved me she wouldnt have wanted to hurt me -> therefore, the problem here is me unjustly feeling hurt as opposed to mia hurting me even if it was unintentional" and she would feel so guilty about having any sort of resentment towards mia (especially now that shes literally Dead) that she loops back around to pretending everything is Normal and Fine and Good so that she doesnt spiral into a guilt feedback loop. NOW. with this in mind.

ive already talked about this a bit between my art post and my mildly extended thoughts which im not going to bother repeating here so go read that if youre interested in the cuter details but objectively i think the best possible ending for diego is after he does his prison time, maya & pearl invite him to come live with them (he doesnt have a job, he presumably has no living relatives, and most importantly he's adjusting to having a significant disability in the world after spending the past like 5 years in prison and therefore absolutely somebody who should not be living alone right now). now ive already talked a bit about the cute stuff because like ok yes . i do enjoy some good domestic shenanigans. however . the fey family period drama is nothing if not full of mental illness and this needs some addressing.

both maya & diego have like . severe issues. with avoiding their personal problems but fortunately for us, . in the words of my good friend. avoiding your problems is really really hard when you invite them to live with you. because like the thing is - and something i think frankly doesnt get addressed enough in anything attempting to explore this relationship in the direction i want - is that ...... maya literally. she couldve died. yes he did put his life on the line to save her and yes that does mean something but also he literally let her walk into that situation in the first place, absurdly bad mental issues or not. and frankly i think maya SHOULD have complicated feelings on it i want that for her. obviously this would follow the same train of thought process as with mia in the sense of "well he saved me and if he wasnt there i Literally Would Have For Real Died and pearl wouldve been forced to live with my blood on her hands (dahlia possession or no) so i cant feel resentful a bit at all or else that makes me a Bad Person". and of course there's the wonderful added complication of the fact that the entire BttT situation is intimately connected to mia with whom she Already has Complicated Feelings That She Is Trying Really Hard To Pretend She Doesn't Have on. there's been a million things said on diegos many many mental issues and i already touched on that very briefly anyways in the earlier linked thought post so im not going to repeat the whole spiel but in short its my opinion that he definitely wanted to have his little redemption by death by the end of BttT but I Won't Let Him. hes not getting off the hook that easy. anyways obviously by the end of this whole thing the Issues come to a head and there is some sort of a serious conversation about the current Situation and obviously not everythings magically fixed, but now that we're not aggressively boxing up our uglier emotions and pretending they dont exist they can actually start getting addressed.

on a lighter note 1) this is very much like an edgeworth & kay situation where its like. diego is too obnoxious to not have a weird little girl following him around and making fun of him all the time to take his ego down a peg or two and 2) also as i said in that other post i wholeheartedly believe maya deserves as many older sibling figures as her heart desires <3 hes like basically her older brother in law anyways . also wait before you go take the gif thats looping in my head like a good 20% of the day

#ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO . sorry ill spare you the whole spiel #but tldr throughout the entire stageplay he spends the entire thing with the usual aloof ''lol igaf abt anything going on here'' persona #and this is one of the very very few moments where that actually cracks a bit . in which he actively goes out of his way #to pull maya away from the guy whos name escapes me at the moment #and plant himself firmly between her & the path of possible danger #its not like hes just like. tugging her out of the way. he doesnt even let go of her arm until shes 1) all the way around #and 2) has steadied herself. im obsessed with this gif its everything to me. #AAAAAAAAAAAAAGUH ok its fine its fine i can be normal. ok anywyas #ask game answers #karmaicperfection #graymer #diego armando #maya fey #mia fey #the fey family period drama #<- you know what. im putting these in the sorting tags i feel like i said enough that it warrants it #anyways. THANK YOU FOR INDULGING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE i love them <3

[cluelylikesporn]

okay exam update cuz im actually really pissed off.

so im autistic + adhd, and only been diagnosed relatively recently, so i havent really been getting assistance until now. (autism diagnosis last year, adhd 2 years ago.)

my last exam was (still is) this period, and im going home once i finish it. one of my other exams i was sent to special ed (it’s called different things in australia and other schools but i dont wanna get doxxed) and the chick helping me (we’ll call her charlie) told me she couldnt even read the questions out to me… like i legit get more help in my normal exam conditions.

she told me WHILE HAVING A PANIC ATTACK “i think i know why your so upset, because you know you dont listen in class and just sleep and draw on your hand.” cunt, what..?

HOW ARE YOU WORKING WITH NEURODIVERGENT KIDS..?

i literally have spent my whole life wondering why i cant listen in class and hearing “just reread it.” or “your not listening hard enough.” is so fucking tiring. maybe explain it? she refused to help me because i “wasnt approved” to have a helper

the school knows im autistic so why do i have to be approved to get the help i need? like you dont have to make up all these forms and files. you have teachers who can help me literally in the building who could help me but you refuse.

okok i got rlly off topic but tldr on what happened today:

my teacher sent me to the special ed area to do my exam (last time he did they told me to go back) also shout out to my english teacher hes a legend. he gave me my sheet, i took a ritalin, said bye to the people i liked and left. (i used to take ritalin daily but now i jst take it to focus better in exams and shit)

i went to se and saw a couple kids i knew. one i hated and didnt know why he was there, one who has some mental problems so i understood why he was there. hes a sweetie. and some chick i knew who broke her wrist and had to write on a laptop.

so one by one they were assigned a teacher who would sit with them and help them/ read out questions and then the lady said “oh chloe your not supposed to be here, you have to go back to class.”

are you fucking kidding me.

i completely understand its not her or my teachers fault im not meant to be there, but im allowed to be a little frustrated. i asked why i kept getting sent here and why i couldn’t get help.

same shit about documents and boring stuff.

keep in mind i get ndis funding so i thought that would impact my education experience but nope, literally nothing. i also understand there could be things my mum hasnt done and that’s completely ok she has her own life, but also THE SCHOOL KNOWS IM AUTISTIC. that should be enough. its like i only get the help if i start ditching class and become an eshay or some shit like i shouldnt have to become a troubled kid to get help.

so the lady said my only benefit i even got from the school is like 5 minutes extra time. and she told me i could either go back to class or do my exam here( which means i could get no help/ questions read to me.)

ngl this was dumb of me but i said ok bc i didnt want to go back to class after saying bye to everyone😭

so i sat there with one airpod in, a pen that didnt fucking work, the only help i could get was eavesdropping on what the assistant teachers were saying but they were so quiet. i did manage to write some stuff but it was pretty fucking stressful. i couldnt stop thinking about what charlie said (the lady helping me with my maths the week before.)

this may sound super dumb but i saw a crow fly onto a table outside and i felt like it was watching over me. like it was looking right at me. it made me feel a bit better and i got some work done.

it wouldve been fine if those fucking assistant teachers didnt keep giving me pitiful looks like bro. i know im fucked.

anyway i finished my exam (barely) and went to the bathroom to tell my friend ab what happened, caught a bus home and am about to play dbd 😾

sorry for the long post im jst so pissed😭 but ily guys and ill post i swear🙏

song of the day:

#five nights at freddy's #fnaf movie #spotify #the walking dead #dead by daylight #metal #metallica #elvira #autism #adhd #spiderman #scott pilgrim #rammstein #elton john #australia #exams

[boyswanna-be-her]

Lmao the walk was super fun but only two people showed up (my biggest fan, who was obvs gonna be there, and a new friend who we both met at the same time through volunteering which is cute and fun, he's a p good deal younger than us). Since it was just the 3 of us, we hiked the WHOLE trail system and had a blast. Got lunch afterwards. I invited them to come out to the beach with me, and my friend decided to follow me straight out and new boy went home first but then flaked and never ended up coming to the beach.

So the clown dance continued, we swam and sunned and laughed, came back to my apartment, eventually got hungry and went to dinner, our third meal together in a row today. At every point they were hesitant to leave and happy to be invited to do the next thing. The only reason why we're not together now is that we're supposed to lift tonight at their place with someone else joining, so they headed back to their own side of town while I went home to take a shower.

This is actually a great holding pattern as far as I'm concerned. We spend as much time and I'd be willing to spend with someone I was dating, and I enjoy spending time with them more than being alone (USUALLY more, sometimes they're in a mood and I'd rather split). It's been so long since I've ACTUALLY enjoyed someone's company more than my own that I wasn't sure that would ever even happen again for me. I'm happy with this. The chemistry is there but--and holy shit i can't believe im saying this--I don't actually want to risk our friend...ship? Lmao? Who am i?

I also made an offhand comment about planning something fun and they responded "I don't really drink so that can make it hard" and of course in light of recent life changes on my side I'm like 👀👀👀 that is the opposite of a problem! But it also makes me sad bc they have been drinking with me some on our off hours and it sounds like they were just trying to keep up with me/not murder the vibe and that was SO not necessary. It also makes some stuff track more in retrospect (like "oh what was up with them that night?" ends up being "they were sleepy bc they dont drink booze normally"). Anyway, since it came up organically I told them that I was actually working on my sobriety and that it was difficult with my parents as enablers/people who want a drinking buddy from their child--and wouldnt you fucking know, bc we have everything else in common, they also have the SAME dynamic w their parents. And they seemed happy that sobriety was something I was thinking about and valued, but possibly more relieved that I actually DO enjoy our time together when we're both sober and want to do more of that.

We're finally getting into some deeper shit and I'm learning about their history and what makes them tick. Like they speak their mind super freely, but they are SO private about their family and personal life to the point that it feels almost too intimate to learn some of this shit that people who have known them longer are oblivious about. On the other hand, I'm a open book about everything I've been through and my mental health but good fucking luck getting an earnest take out of me on anything unless i deeply trust you. It makes for a weird game of learning about each other. I thanked them today for being a friend who's down to clown with all of my stupid suggestions and admitted that I normally just do everything alone but it's more fun with them. They expressed it all back to me. Alone for a long time, fine with that, surprised to find me, thankful for that too. It's just like, hm. Very comfy. And I don't worry about being wanted or wearing out my welcome, and I don't get taken advantage of, and they stand up for me and do nice things for me, and feed me and worry about me. That's such a nice change for me from being either The Provider or a person who wants for nothing or no one. It's scary to want someone in my life, even in this capacity, but it's more rewarding than I thought it could be without, yknow, actively trying to date or hook up. I feel like the possibility of something more is stalking us from location to location like the monster in It Follows--sometimes our knees are nestled together while we talk and it's breathing down our necks and sometimes we're both distracted and moody and it's not something either is thinking too much about, but fuck if it isn't always there and a thing I think we will inevitably make a choice about in the future but.

#bfr

[calamitys-child]

Dude, my parents were the same! They were worried the stigma would mean I'd be bullied or school would sideline me or employers wouldnt hire me so they just left me to deal with it. I know they truly thought they were doing what was best at the time but I like to think they finally twigged they cocked up when I hit mid 20s and went quote unquote "insane". Turns out medication/ therapy could have made me seem a whole lot more "normal" as an adult if I'd had the chance to deal with it as a kid

EXACTLY!! Like, I totally get their reasoning - it's shitty that they felt they Had to reason that way but I get it - but what fucks me up is that they were so rude about it when I finally got support on my own. I was 21, 22 maybe, and I made a comment like "astonished you thought this was a normal child" and they went "oh don't be stupid we always knew there was something wrong with you but we weren't gonnae put you in special ed, you're fine, you're smart". Like. Fuck OFF

And as an adult, support is difficult and different from as a child. I got a little mental health support at uni after a worryingly long battle, and getting on SSRIs and testosterone did one hell of a job stabilising and improving my mental health cause I was no longer terrified and miserable all the time, but honestly the biggest impact was just.... making friends with neurodivergent people and disability rights activists.

Like I will always remember being at uni, crying into a pint in the students union with a friend because I had just spent an hour in counselling explaining that no matter how much I love the subject I can't handle a 2hr lecture, and all they told me was "well you're aware of the problem, so you can fix it". A random guy I'd never spoken to before but vaguely knew as being involved with the disabled students association came over and just went "hey, I overheard your conversation; they don't know how to help neurodivergent students but here's what we put together for ourselves and figured out the long way round", handed me a napkin with a list of ways to access lecture recordings and slides with notes, waved goodbye, and vanished. Singlehandedly saved me from failing 3rd year.

And now I'm surrounded by friends who are neurodivergent or are very close with neurodivergent people and I have the language to be like. "Sensory stuff is a bit much right now I need to be outside" or "sorry im bad at tone and facial expression but I am saying this sentence in a positive way" or who I can stim in front of and who won't freak out about me sometimes being nonverbal . And it's SUCH a relief and has given me the resources to phrase these things in ways that my family will understand even if it's "you get migraines sometimes anyway which affects everyone's sensory threshold so if you're overstimulated you can say you have a migraine because it will mean they understand you're overstimulated".

I just. Really wish I'd been taught these things as a wean and not left to figure it out myself

[maedaeme]

OUGH ALRIGHT magni backstory ramble time under the cut. was putting this off just in case i wanted to make changes but now i'm committed.

and later im not going to be able to stop myself from rambling abt his companion connections at length so i'm dropping this here as the starting point to keep me CONSISTENT.

refers to mild act 2 spoilers because I need to be a little bit unhinged about things. currently in act 3, but i'm saving that for later because there is so much happening. anyway

bullet point backstory bc it's 11 pm. what up.

used to be a priest(ess) of lolth. raised among devout lolth-sworn, which of course gives him baggage he doesn't even realize exists until like halfway through the game.

'i had a normal childhood' - guy who very much did not have a normal childhood. am i projecting my religious trauma here. who can say

very committed. basically used serving lolth as an elaborate excuse to get away with whatever selfish whims popped into his head

worked alongside two other, equally terrible priestesses under the mutual understanding that they were only 'allies' until they could stab each other in the back

last one standing is loth's fav. you know how it is

did in fact get stabbed in the back when one of them uncovered a secret of his and used it to oust him

fully accepted he was going to get sacrificed to lolth. was pretty chill with it, actually. as far as he was concerned it only made sense.

the priestess who ousted him decided it would be meaner to banish him to the surface instead

she was correct.

became SO INCENSED at being told he was not a worthy sacrifice that it became ALL he cared about

like. he refused to wrap his brain around it, so he just went 'fine, i will claw my way up from the dirt and eat bugs or whatever and i WILL become so fucking impressive that when i come back DOWN here you will HAVE to sacrifice me. that's how good i'll be.

'also maybe i'll trans my gender while i'm at it bc at this point I Have Nothing To Lose'

lost ability to use magic in the middle of this and just refused to think about the 'god abandoned me' implications

knew nothing about the surface. broke into places, stole, and murdered to survive. discovered life was easier if you got good at lying, just in case you got caught stealing. and he was already Very good at lying.

once he got it all figured out, he fell into organized crime VERY easily, while still secretly holding onto his General Disdain for everyone around him. this was not hard to do. people are shitty to you when you're a drow.

spent a couple decades fighting, stealing, and occasionally murdering if you paid him or annoyed him enough. mentally tucks away all of the crimes he does as 'for lolth' even though he's lowkey aware that's not how that works. there's a bunch of complicated stuff going on in his brain up there and he is avoiding all of it.

basically he starts the game an expert manipulator who FULLY expects to just eventually murder these people he keeps picking up because it Has to be that way, except thru act 1 he. doesn't. and then he starts to get used to them. enough that at camp he starts to drop his Eternal Performance, which everyone initially writes off as 'magni being weirdly dismissive and blunt for some reason' until late act 1 when they realize 'oh wait. that's what he's REALLY LIKE. he was LYING.'

his feelings towards the companions and himself and his goals get incredibly complicated. sometimes he sucks. sometimes he doesn't. gale makes him ask himself questions he does not want to know the answer to, but he can't just let it GO now that he's asking them. the people around him are trusting him with their deepest secrets and desires and it is FREAKING HIM OUT because he doesn't know how to do anything with secrets except destroy. so he drops the act further thru act 2. except they're still doing it. because they know what he's like by now. and they know that sometimes! he refrains from doing the mean selfish thing! because they wouldn't like it! and he hates that he feels that way and is occasionally halfheartedly mean and petty later like it's going to make the uncomfortable taste in his mouth go away but he is forming attachments to these people and there is NOTHING he can do about that

anyway. i'm going to shake my laptop later re: gale being asked to Explode by his god and how it forces magni to look literally his Only Driving Goal For Decades (getting eaten by spiders) in the face and ask himself if that's really what he wanted, but i'm in full hyperfixation mode. also he just rly loves astarion. he can't say that word though. feels wrong in his mouth

it's also put him in the weird act 3 spot of being the person who has already ASKED himself the hard questions that everyone else is now asking. he is, for the first time ever, somewhat the reasonable one. which means he's gotta accept he thinks differently about things than he used to. which he doesn't like. but he's embraced the softness, he just doesn't want you to mention it.

and sometimes he just goes and stands in a cold lake at 1 am so he doesn't have to think about anything. you know how it goes

#pointless post #mae plays bg3 #i'm so sorry this is so long. thank you for humoring me. bless u

[bicon-crange]

can the nosey ones know abt ur crush? :3c dw if not. my condolences (positive)

yeah sure why not i cant stop fucking talking about it anyways.

iiii dont know if its necessarily a crush though!! definitely an obsession. definitely some kind of. fixation. thanks for your condolences i definitely fucking need them. TT-TT )

its like. uh. this person i know whos sooo articulate and smart and. theyre really sweet. yknow BASIC SHIT. theyre great everyone likes them.

anyways when we first started talking it was like. some kinda. there was clashing. i guess is how you could put it? but every time we finished talking i felt soo like. electrified. like buzzing. like my whole body was just shaking. adrenaline? maybe?

i really thought at first that it was just a friendly interest. some sort of.. y'know intellectual thing! you meet someone whos so much smarter than you and whos ideas are so well put together and who thinks YOU'RE interesting and of course you want to know more of how their brain works of course youre. captivated a bit yknow? thats like. normal. to feel. i think.

oh the first couple times we talked i went so nuts! i reread over our convos like a thousand times and reiterated our talks several times to EVERYONE in my house. its so actually embarrassing. but they were good convos you HAAAVE to understand. it was like. ducking weaving. it was like. some sort of mental exercise . and i thought it was like. normal. but it just kept. HAPPENING. AND HAPPENING. AND HAPPENING.

and i tell you what this was a lot easier a month or so ago when i was like I JUST REALLY LIKE TALKING TO THIS PERSON!! ^_^ (<- STILL A DEFINITE POSSIBILITY) cause ugh. lately its like. ever since the thought popped in my head that this interest MIIIGHT be romantic in nature its. ALLLL DAY thinking about them its so nuts! its so constant!! its literally like a fucking DISEASE... i feel like. angry over it? spiteful? almost? it reminds me of when i had a crush on a guy in elementary school and I didnt know how to handle it so i beat the hell out of him with a lunch box.

like im over here forgetting shit left and right and messing up basic conversation skills and having heart palpitations and theyre like. fine probably. iiii honestly dont think they even think about me lol. i mean definitely not as much as i am,easy, because im totally insane and obsessive i know this.

we also dont talk so much! its not very often! so yeah im sure they dont think about me as much. im even definitely sure if i ever verbalized this it wouldnt work out. ive visualized them turning me down like 20 different ways for 20 different reasons just today. lots of reasons yknow! im mentally unwell and totally nuts, im immature and also very ugly im unable to carry out a meaningful relationship because of my chronic pain problems and various health issues, all of that is fine but my obsessive nature is really freaky,LD relationships are a no-go, they just dont like me that way, ect ect ect.

its sooo stupid. its SO middle school. they type a response to me and i can barely look at the screen. i feel SO fucking stupid its insane. im like. going to claw my eyes out of my head and chew on them till they burst. i hate it here. and its never going to be reciprocated whatsoever so im literally not even going to try.

BESIDES Y'KNOW!! I DONT EVEN KNOW FOR SURE IF THATS WHAT IM FEELING!! its been wracking my brain for a week straight!! its like. am i just fascinated on an intellectual level, am i just interested in an anthropological sense, are these just really good conversations, if this just normal friendship and im making things super weird? am i just excited that someone seems to get what im saying about what im interested in? yknow. dumb.

either way TLDR; im waiting for it to pass. either I'll sort my own feelings out or itll pass! if its infatuation, GOOD, that has a expiration date of 1-2 years so i will just box it up and not think about it and not do anything about it. ^_^ )9 and it WILL die. BUT if you know how to force that process to go along faster let me KNOW.

#FR GENUINELY IF ANY OF YOU KNOW HOW TO FORCE THIS TO PASS. LMK. #LIFE IS CURRENTLY BEING RUN BY THIS SHIT AND I WOULD REALLY PREFER TO DO LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE

[noxiatoxia]

even as a small kid i felt like i didnt belong in this world. not in qn edgy way either but genuinely in a "i was born in the wrong lifetime" sort of thing. and then as i got older i got obsessed with the idea of stories and characters and people that were fixated on suicide from the moment they were born or people who never felt like they should have been brought into society or be human. i got obsessed with stories about unconventional means of happiness and love and living. ways of living life or being happy that most people would be perplexed at, i found comfort in those sort of stories, because i felt it was the closest id ever get to feeling like i belonged.

noww not to say i DONT like living. in fact i do. i have fun & despite all the bullshit in my life i do not want to end it all or w/e. i can have fun and be happy but that does not change the fact it all feels like a lie to others. hanging out with friends and talking to family feels like an eternal game im playing, never actually connecting with anyone or anything. and thats fine, bc its still fun and i still have fun, but living life day to day feels as real and sincere as a video game. i could play games for hours, get immersed and invested in them, fall in love with those pixels on the screen and cry at the story, but theyre still made up lives inside a digital world at the end of the day. thats what my life feels like. a very very fun video game! but its all shallow anyways. idk if that really bothers me exactly. i do often times find myself yerning for that place i belong that ive dreamt of before i could even read. as an abstract concept, one with the earth, or somewhere in the atmosphere, in space, dunno. i know ill never find it in this lifetime, and thats fine, as long as i can have fun and adventurw right now. and then when i die, i hope i can find where i truly fit in, and what my soul truly was meant to be.

i could go on abt how its likely this is a big reason i project myself through media and rely on it heavily to express myself, since im not really myself in real life, dont really have a being in real life, so i can pour my base desires and wishes into a fictional world where it all makes senae to me. and i could also acknowledge that i might be a bit mentally unwell, but if i have felt this way my whole life, perhaps this is just who i am. as ive always felt, some people simply are not destined to be human or to be alive. what some people want or how thwy feel cannot be changed through reprogramming or drugs. they are "lost causes", those who want nothing more than to dedicate their lives to killing, to killing themselves, to drugs, to living in the woods, to living with wolves. their happiness and desires are unconventional and perhaps can never be changed. maybe theyre "broken", but theres a lot of them out there, and i feel a connection with them. we get one life, lets live it how we want, theres so much more outside of this constructed society. normal is weird and weird is normal. for me, ill just wait.

[chansaw]

wait omg i am so so interested in the superpowers au. would love to hear more about any of their powers, how they feel about them, any big moments in the au.... really anything you feel like sharing i am SO interested

(got another anon asking the same thing so!! 2x response combob)

anyways sorry i didnt answer this yesterday but as you may be able to guess my personal life is kind of a shitshow right now. but nevertheless. silly persisted.

anyways: here's some info on the characters! this might get long and im not sorry.

natalie: the three-year anniversary of her trigger event rolls around a few days before the team wins states. not that anyone else knows that, of course. nobody knows the full story behind mr. scatorccio's death, and that suits nat just fine. kevyn's the only one who knows about her powers: she can shoot balls of fire from her hands. they can be as small as a golf ball or as large as a soccer ball, depending on how much effort she puts in. if she really focuses on precision, she can fire them like bullets. not that she really has much use for them in her everyday life beyond lighting cigarettes... but once they're stranded in the wilderness, it's a whole other story.

lottie: as she stumbles from the flaming wreckage, lottie only has one thought: i should have seen this coming, i should have known, i should have done something, and something in her mind suddenly clicks into place. unsurprisingly, she's a precog. she has to actively work to make sense of her flashes and glimpses of the future, and she can't answer every question accurately. for example, she knows they'll eventually be rescued - but she doesn't know how long it'll take or who makes it out alive. more reliably, she also has the ability to instinctively sense danger before it happens, like a spidey-sense.

taissa: after they escape the plane, nobody recognizes tai at first. she looks.... different. radiant like an olympian; her varsity jacket looks a size too small on her toned frame. and oh, yes, she's at least twenty years older.

"tai?" jackie says in disbelief when she sees her carrying an unconscious van in her arms.

and taissa's about to respond when she's engulfed by a puff of bright light, and suddenly she's her normal teenage self again, and she and van both crumple to the ground.

tai's basically like shazam, except she has no control over when she switches (and even once she gets the hang of that, there's no telling how long the switch may last). additionally, she doesn't retain much of her memory of what she does while she's transformed (and what she does remember is hazy). but in that state, she has the classic superman power package: flight, invulnerability, and super strength. she's faster, too, but importantly not a speedster; her top speed is a few hundred miles an hour. she's only able to fly/run far enough to confirm that they're absolutely surrounded by mountains and trees, with no other signs of civilization for thousands and thousands of miles.

misty: her powers trigger as she tightens the improvised belt-tourniquet around ben's leg and tries to stem his gushing blood. when she places her hand on his thigh, information suddenly flows into her mind: she's amputated right where the femur meets the tibia, smashing his patella and the surrounding tendons and ligaments, but she can rejoin the cells of his muscular tissue if she reaches just so.... and she watches as the skin around the wound knits itself back together and the blood stops pouring out. misty's powers are basically the same as amy dallon/panacea's from worm: an innate understanding of and complete control over the biology of anything she touches. like amy, she uses them primarily as healing powers at first... but one night, while she turns over to sleep, she brushes another girl's head by accident, and she sees. she can see all of the neurons and mental pathways and synapses in her brain, all hers to bend and shape if she pleases. and that's when shit gets weird.

van: van's powers don't trigger until the agonizing pain of the wolves' teeth rending her flesh, exposing muscle and bones, and she blacks out, and when she comes to again it's not just her face on fire, it's her whole body and it burns it burns it burns - and that's when the powers decide to finally make themselves known. van gains regenerative healing powers akin to deadpool's - her body can knit itself back together, but the process is slow, and it's not perfect. the wounds from the wolf attack take over 12 hours to close up entirely, and when they do, lines of scar tissue still permanently mark her face and arms. once she's recovered, van also discovers she can generate a strong forcefield that protects her from the front only, like a knight's shield.

jackie: she watches her pathetic excuse for a fire flicker out. flakes of snow have started to coat the earth around her, but she's too weak to even shiver. the realization that this is it, this is how she's going to die washes over her. she just wants it to be over. she's ready to flicker out like the kindling in front of her and escape.

jackie blinks.

a second later, there's an awful smack as her back makes contact with the hardwood floor of the attic, and she sees shauna bolt upright out of the corner of her eye, and, hold on, she's inside?! shauna's voice is the last thing she hears before she passes out.

misty's able to warm her up on a cellular level and bring her back from the brink of her hypothermia, but she's still cold. the cold's a part of her now, she thinks. the cold is what gave jackie her powers and her life back. she can generate a glassy, eggshell-thin layer of icy armor, and she can fucking teleport. there's obviously limits - one of the first things she tried was to will herself back to wiskayok, with no success. but she can teleport (or blink, as she likes to call it) to any point within a general range of 350 feet (around the size of a football field), and after a bit of practice, she can take other people with her. jackie's ice powers also give her an immunity to the freezing cold, so nat recruits her as a hunting partner, and an assistant on her mission to map out the wilderness and maybe find a way back home.

shauna: she's the only main yellowjacket whose powers i still havent figured out yet. she's a tricky lady to figure out!

i still havent decided whether or not laura lee and the other redshirts (mari, akilah, gen, melissa, etc) will have powers yet lol

side note: while generating powersets, i wanted to make sure i kept in mind that none of the superpowers veered into deus ex machina territory. i really loved the DnD movie's vocal acknowledgment that although magic/powers are badass as fuck, there are limitations, and that powers can't solve every problem. so, in other words, the powers definitely give the girls an edge when it comes to surviving the canadian wilderness, but they still can't release themselves from Its clutches. if that makes sense.

if you have any other burning questions, feel free to fire away!

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets powers au #sorry this got LONG