#as someone who can super relate to him being introverted & having trouble socializing he's really BLOOMED in the past few months

[pinkhairandpronounsboy]

Hogwarts Legacy Profile

Owner: @a-usernamelol

Character's Full Name: Allan Waite

Meaning of name: Allan means handsome and cheerful, and the name Waite means watchman or protector. So, essentially, his name means “Cheerful Watchman” / “Handsome Protector” or something along those lines.

Nickname: Sometimes just called “Waite”- not really a nickname, but it happens enough its a casual address.

Race: Muggle Born

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Occupation: Traveller

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

Age: 5th year-17 / 7th year-19

FAMILY:

Mother: Dead

Father: Dead

Extended family: A significant amount of unnamed aunts and uncles. He doesn’t like them much, and from the sounds of it, the feeling is mutual.

CHARACTER:

Eye Color: Violet

Hair Color: Magenta

Height: 5’6 ft/1.524 m

Type of body/build: Sleeper build. He looks skinny but he’s actually very fit! That said- he'd probably be even healthier if he gained a little more weight.

Skin tone: White.

Scars: He has a mysterious burn mark on the back of his left hand

Predominant feature: Pink hair

Looks like: 

Physical Health: Excellent.

Mental Health: Dying inside. He’s been through a lot of trauma and microtraumas in his life, including the events of the Hogwarts Legacy Game. Someone get this man a therapist.

FAVORITES:

Allan’s favorite color: Pink or purple

Favorite Music: Anything played on an Ocarina.

Least favorite Music: Classical. He just doesn’t like the combinations of sound of artists such as Mortzart that we now consider classics.

Food: Give him a good turkey leg or medium rare beef and he will devour it.

Literature: Sherlock Holmes- He finds he can relate to the now famous detective, but he would never say it. He wouldn’t want to sound pompous.

Expletives: He usually is quite creative and makes up his own most of the time.

Mode of transportation: Highwing the Hippogriff.

ATTITUDE:

Most at ease when: In a darkly lit room with lots of space to roam freely, i.e. the Room of Requirement.

III at ease when: Surrounded.

Priorities: He puts others first, no matter who they are, friend or foe, regardless of race.

Philosophy: He is a levelheaded and compassionate man, who regards all life as important, and finds a childlike fascination in everything ordinary and grand.

How he feels about self: He tries not to think about it, but he is proud of who he’s become, he just wishes he’d have done better in life thus far. He would give anything to somehow save those who got hurt or killed under his “protection”.

PERSONALITY:

Greatest strength: His compassion and strategic judgment.

Greatest weakness: Also his compassion- in a sense, and his own survivors guilt.

Biggest vulnerability: He doesn’t open up to anyone- but you’ll certainly know he trusts you if he’s comfortable enough to tell you about his past. Otherwise, he’ll avoid it.

TRAITS:

Optimist or Pessimist: Optimist. He sees the good in everything except himself.

Introvert or extrovert: Introvert! Social interaction exhausts him to no end, unless its close friends.

HABITS:

Drinks: Sometimes. A butterbeer here and there, and when he’s older probably some wine. But even in his old age butterbeer will always be his favorite.

Hobbies: Taking care of beasts, painting , Duelling, and inventing of all kinds- including taking a scientific approach to magic for these inventions and experimenting with Ancient Magic.

How does he spend a rainy day? Outside, rain or shine, unless its super windy and possibly dangerous outside, in which case you’ll find him playing with his beasts in the Room of Requirement.

BACKGROUND:

Type of childhood: He grew up migrating from family to family, at first from aunts and uncles, to foster care. Eventually, he was simply shoved in an orphanage, after most families realized he was just to much trouble.

Most important childhood event that still affects him: When he was about five, like many kids, he had to a degree SOME magical properties. His parents, being intelligent people, picked up on those slight signs and despite being Muggles came to the conclusion there must be more people like their son. In an attempt to make his life potentially better, they tried and succeeded in finding the Wizarding World through the smallest breadcrumbs. Unfortunately, this attracted the interest of some radical Pureblood Supremacists who burned down their house with the family still trapped inside. Both Allan's father and mother perished, but he survived, but not without a constant reminder of the painful memory. His left hand got trapped under some rubble causing a horrible burn. Although he was saved and pulled out of the fire by some kind neighbors, he will forever have limited nervous functions and mobility in his left hand, along with a permanent scar. He now covers up the scar with gloves, however his damaged hand gets random phantom pains from the nerves not healing properly. Sometimes it hurts enough that his hand shakes, which is why he sometimes has to rub his left hand.

Drives and motivations: He wants to save everyone he possibly can. He always wants to help, even at his own detriment.

Talents: He is very artistic and logical at the same time, even capable of combining the skillsets of magic and science to use together in formidable new ways.

Extremely skilled at: Ancient Magic, Drawing, scientific examination

Extremely unskilled at: Sitting still, pottery, Divination

Good characteristics: Compassionate, kind, intelligent

Character flaws: Low self-esteem, survivor guilt, clingy to people he cares about

Mannerisms:  Verbal: He sometimes, when asked about any particular subject, will rant on and on if he knows a lot about said subject.

Physical: When he's nervous he rubs his left hand where his burn mark is. When he's thinking hard he taps his chin or cheek, and when he's uncomfortable and around someone he trusts, he'll stand slightly closer to them.

Peculiarities: No one knows if he dyes his hair or jinxes it, and no one cares to ask because he doesn't answer.

Biggest regret: The death of professor Fig, and in 7th year, his failure to help Sebastian, who inevitably goes to Azkaban.

Minor regrets: Any wizards or witches he has to kill do actually weigh on his heart. He doesn't like hurting or killing anyone, especially because he doesn't know their backstory.

Biggest accomplishment: Defeating Ranrok- obviously, and less obviously, a more personal but still large accomplishment for him was adjusting to the Wizarding World's society. (For example how homophobic the Muggle World would have vs. how generally accepting of it the Wizarding World is.)

Education: A Christian Orphanage that doubled as a school.

Religion: Raised Christian, but doesn't REALLY follow it.

Finances: Depends on what he can steal. He doesn't have a home to go back to over the summer, so most of his belongings are stuffed in his coat, which he has an Undetectable Extension Charm. He used to stay with Fig as a sort of "apprentice", but after 5th year he usually just wanders around the Highlands on his own, since he has nowhere else to go.

Char's darkest secret: His past. He never talks about how horrible his life was or is, simply out of principle to not drag anyone else down.

Does anyone else know? He may tell you if he trusts you enough, but it's unlikely. He might have told Sebastian around 7th year. (And in roleplay blogs I believe the only other MC that knows (As it stands of writing this post) is @not-that-gilbert-blythe, because it was a one-off comment he made about his burnt hand. He never fully explained how his parents died or why they died, just that he'd been in a fire as a kid.)

Some screenshots because I take too many :)

#allan waite #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy mc

[juneviews]

#enchante #enchante the series #fluke gawin #force jiratchapong #gawin caskey #book kasidet #thai actors #my gifs #bypiningbisexuals #I was JUST talking about it with a follower but seeing gawin really come into his own with the not me & enchanté cast is a delight #as someone who can super relate to him being introverted & having trouble socializing he's really BLOOMED in the past few months #AND I LOVE THAT FOR HIM <3 #anyways my two current new(ish) fave actor being cute!!! #(I've liked gawin for a long time I just LOVE him now lol)

[cauldron-be-damned]

Bro like STOP trying to tell me that gw*n and azriel look good together or that their vibes mesh. They DON'T. Every fanart I see of them looks wrong. It's all very contrived. Their personalities don't mesh either. You KNOW he's an introvert, he's not just quiet and aloof bc of trauma or whatever. Introverts get their energy from spending time alone and having quiet time to recharge. He likes the quiet and his shadows are there to keep him company in the quiet, right? (Az and his shadows are definitely endgame.)

I can say that as a very strong fellow introvert, I'm not super comfortable in a group of lots of people either. Even people that I know well! Especially not being in a room with the rest of the IC, who are rowdy AF and have no trouble filling the silence without Az needing to weigh in. He clearly prefers to be one-on-one. You get a LOT more of his personality in ACOWAR (Feyre's POV), ACOFAS (Rhys's POV), and ACOSF (Cass's POV) when you're seeing him one-on-one with each of them. And he certainly has a personality and a sense of humor, it's just subtle and dry.

This is nothing against extroverts of course, but I think gw*n is an extrovert. Now it's hard to say bc she's only made an appearance in ACOSF and we've had way more books to get to know Az (not to mention we've encountered Elain and her also-subtle, quiet presence in literally all the books so far). But her vibe is much more forward and assertive and social-butterfly, at least to me. She seems to be more extroverted and outgoing. At a party she's not gonna sit in a corner bathed in shadows. I really do like her character, especially as a friend to Nesta. She seems like a very loyal person and she's funny and determined. And it's not that Az isn't exciting. But I feel like she'd be better suited to someone who could party with her, who would challenge her, who makes friends everywhere they go, like her. She seems like the life of a party, honestly. And that's great. But as someone who relates more to Az and honestly Elain more than any other character, Gw*n would not be my go-to romantic choice (not bc she's a female, I'm bi and fiery redheads are HOT.) Why? Because long-term, I would someone who can be my quiet companion. I just don't see that in her. An awesome friend to hang out with, someone who won't let you pull punches? Sure.

There is something to be said for a companionate love where you and the other person can sit in complete silence doing nothing or doing your own thing and enjoy the shit out of it. That's what it's like being an introvert married to another introvert. I personally love that my husband and I can feel like we're spending quality time together while not actively filling the silence or socializing. We also don't feel the need to be around other people all the time.

I'm basically making a case for Elriel here because just look at Elain!! A kindred spirit! She loves her quiet afternoons in the sunny garden just doing her own thing. Yall see how Az went out there to sit with her while she was doing that? Do ya think there was a ton of convo going on? Does he know shit about gardening? Most likely not. But he was SUNNING HIS WINGS. Illyrians are taught to protect their wings at all costs, and they only open them up when not flying if they're comfortable around the person they're with (and/or if they are peacocking, which you know he absolutely was.)

And who was the first person to offer to take her out to the garden in the first place?? 👀

This isn't even a question of whether Az likes Elain. It's been very clearly confirmed in the bonus chapter and by LITERALLY EVERY INTERACTION BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM. The question I guess is who is endgame for Az...

In a companionate love there is still passion. But when you're an introvert you need a lover AND a friend who can sit in silence with you and not make you feel like you have to do any emotional work. You need someone who wants to leave the party early with you so you can go home and snuggle on the couch and watch your couple-show. And then have some great sex afterward!

Maybe I'm missing something that gw*nriels are seeing, but I feel like they are blatantly ignoring all the things SJM has been very obviously trying to tell us about elriel. I don't understand the connection. Don't even get me started on how beautiful Elriel's whole "light meets the darkness" aesthetic is.

ALSO sjm loves the light-meets-dark thing. Remember in chapter 56 of ACOMAF when Feyre was glowing and Rhys went all king-of-darkness and the 2 blended together? It's yin and yang, people.

#elain x azriel #elriel #elain #elain acotar #elain acosf #acosf bonus chapter #elriel supremacy #elriel endgame

[hiccanna-tidbits]

5, 6, 7 & 8 for OTP asks with Hiccanna!!

HELL YEAH BRO

Soulmate AU: Who is eager to meet their soulmate? Who absolutely does not want to meet their soulmate?

Anna, hopeless romantic and “true love” fanatic that she is, is incredibly down to meet her soulmate. One of her biggest fears is being inherently unlovable and that no one will ever love her for who she is (parents dying and sister shunning you has to leave some abandonment issues babyyyy), so she takes a lot of comfort in the idea of a soulmate--at least one person is basically certain to love her, right?

Hiccup, meanwhile, is apathetic at best and annoyed by the idea of a higher power dictating who his girlfriend is at worst. Unlike Anna, he doesn’t really fear no one will ever really love him for who he is--rather, he just accepts it as fact. Growing up with no friends and an emotionally-distant father, Hiccup came to believe that he was never going to feel the kind of deep, boundless love he’d seen between other people--and he made his peace with it. Being a more introverted scientist and inventor-type, Hiccup tends to spend a lot of time alone anyways and believes (maybe not fully accurately) that he prefers it that way. Besides, the logician in him thinks the whole “magic cosmic soulmate” thing is probably bullshit, and he just can’t figure out how something like soulmates could ever be backed or supported by modern science. Ultimately, Hiccup figures he’s going to date who he’s going to date (if he can even find any girls who are interested, that is), and he really couldn’t care less what the stars have to say about it.

When Hiccup and Anna do finally meet, and eventually start dating (knowing how shy and awkward they’d both be about confessing, it would take months to years after them meeting to actually get together, even in a goddamn soulmate AU), it isn’t revealed that they’re soulmates right away. Maybe it’s revealed by their hearts glowing a certain color when they first realize they’re in love with the other person? Idk. 

When Anna finds out they’re soulmates, she’s absolutely stoked. Like the girl probably runs around their home for a solid 15 minutes planning a soulmate reveal party or something. Hiccup, meanwhile, is just kind of like “Oh! Neat!” and then immediately goes back to whatever he was doing XD

Anna is a bit hurt that Hiccup is so, ah...unconcerned about them being literally destined to be together. She’s mainly worried that it means that he doesn’t like...cherish their connection enough and whatnot. After he picks up on the fact that she’s kind of upset about his definitive lack of a strong reaction to the whole thing, he explains to her that he didn’t really care because he’d 100% date Anna whether or not she was his soulmate. Saying their souls were deeply connected was basically just putting a formal title on what he already knew.

And Anna has to take a minute, because honestly? Hiccup confidently saying he’d be with her in any reality, even one where he risks angering cosmic forces to do so, is actually much more romantic than them being supposedly “fated for each other” since the beginning.

Single parent AU: Which one is the single parent? (Alt. if they’re both single parents: Which one is open to starting a new relationship from the start? Which one is never planning on finding love again… Until they meet the other and are instantly smitten?)

I think I’ll have Zephyr and Nuffink be the single parent kids because I Just Think They’re Neat! That, and I honestly can’t bear to make lovechildren for Anna with anyone but Hiccup XD (those of you who know me will know making Krist/anna lovechildren in any context is RIGHT OUT).

So in this AU things didn’t work out with Astrid and Hiccup is pretty heartbroken over it :( I imagine she ultimately left him because she wasn’t really feeling the spark anymore, and they have joint custody of the kids. Meanwhile, Hiccup and Anna were neighbors growing up, and were pretty close friends as kids until Anna moved away and they lost touch. She eventually comes back to their hometown as an adult, and she and Hiccup reconnect. They’re also both like “ah shit, my old buddy got HOT” XD

I actually think Anna and Zephyr would really hit it off, mainly because Anna sees a lot of what she loves the most about Hiccup in Zephyr. Zephyr has Hiccup’s anxiety, cynicism, inventive streak, overall social awkwardness--and because Anna knows Hiccup so well and knows how to best accommodate all of his quirks and oddities, it’s not hard for her to extrapolate how best to befriend a younger version of him XD Zephyr, meanwhile, has had trouble befriending kids her age due to her bluntness and general “nerdiness,” so she’s always happy to find someone who accepts her unconditionally and takes a genuine interest in her wacky inventions--even if it’s her dad’s new girlfriend, who by all accounts should be a weird person for her to get close to XD Zephyr also devours science books like they’re going out of style, and is very pleased that Anna is more than happy to listen to her ramble on and on about random science trivia. Zeph still loves her biological mom, for sure, but she starts thinking of Anna as a second mom. She brags to all the kids at school that she has two moms, which leaves them very confused and wondering if Astrid ended up marrying another woman after she divorced Hiccup (which, to be fair, wouldn’t be entirely out of character).

Nuffink, meanwhile, is a little more unsure about the whole situation, if mainly because I headcanon him as a bit of a mama’s boy. He doesn’t dislike Anna so much as he’s just...wary of her, and doesn’t know how to feel about his dad falling in love with someone who isn’t his mom. He also can’t help but feel out-of-place when he, Zephyr, Hiccup, and Anna go out on “family outings” because he kind of looks like he doesn’t belong. With her reddish-brown hair, her blue eyes, her aundance of freckles, and her fondness for wearing twin braids, Zephyr could definitely pass as Anna’s daughter (I’ve even seen Anna used as an older version of Zephyr in video edits, which is hilariously ironic). Although Nuffink has his dad’s eyes, he very much has his biological mom’s hair and doesn’t look like he’s related to Anna at all.

I think what helps them finally bond is that they both have a love of combat! Nuffink definitely does some kind of martial arts or fencing training if he can access it, and Anna is more than happy to teach him some swordplay and spar with him if he wants! Because Sword Anna is best Anna, fight me. Nuffink is also open-minded enough that hey, if his cool big sister likes someone that much, she can’t be that bad. Hiccup is just...continually super impressed with how much Anna knows about fighting--and it makes him fall all the more in love with her, because he loves that in a woman XD Once Nuffink warms up to Anna, he’s constantly trying to impress her ith how tough he is--mostly shown by him ramming his head into walls. Poor Anna worries about Nuffink a lot XD

I imagine there’s a little bit of tension between Anna and Astrid in this AU. Not really because Astrid resents Hiccup moving on--she’s actually pretty happy for Hiccup that he found someone better suited for him than her--but more because she worries Anna is trying to replace her as the kids’ “true mom” XD Anna, meanwhile, can’t help but resent Astrid a little for breaking Hiccup’s heart and doesn’t get why they kids can’t just have two moms! The more people who love them, the better, right???

I don’t imagine Anna and Hiccup having any biological kids in this AU, because I think two stepkids would be plenty for Anna! Of course, since Zephyr and Nuffink are Hiccup’s, she loves them with all her being and tries to be the best stepmom she can be. But I think having more than two kids would stress Anna’s ADHD ass the fuck out, and she doesn’t strike me as the sort of person who would feel a need to have biological kids with Hiccup if she already had Nuffink and Zephyr to parent. Our girl is perfectly happy adopting!

Doctor AU: Which one is the longsuffering doctor? Which one is the patient?

Hiccup is the long-suffering doctor, although not entirely by choice. Often he wonders if being a doctor is actually what he wanted, but his dad was like “WELL SON! YOU’RE SMART, SO YOU GOTTA BE A DOCTOR SO YOU MAKE BIG BUCKS!” (I’m headcanoning in this AU Stoick is a professional athlete of some kind, and has made BANK since he was young. He can’t really conceive of his son NOT pursuing a well-paid profession). Hiccup doesn’t really want to disappoint his rather intimidating dad, so he goes along with it.

It’s not that he dislikes it, when all is said and done. He does care about people and wants to help them, although he hides it underneath about 10 layers of snark. Still, it’s stressful and thankless work, and often he worries about whether he took the right path. Too late to pursue something else now, he supposes.

Then he meets Anna, rushed to the ICU with a collection of third-degree electrical burns. She tried to plug all of her Christmas light strings into the same power strip, and uh...it did not go well. Hiccup is there monitoring her vitals when she wakes up, and she just kind of wearily sighs and admits to him that living on her own wasn’t nearly as fun or exciting as she thought it would be. As it turned out, Anna had insisted she could be trusted with putting up her apartment’s holiday decorations, and she very much should not have been.

Anna ends up having to stay a couple weeks. She needs a small skin graft (yeah, she fucked herself up THAT bad), and then needs a bit of time for the surgery wounds to heal. Hiccup is assigned to do checkups on her regularly, and starts to look forward to it. Her perky disposition (despite being stuck in the hospital with burn wounds) is contagious, and she never fails to make him laugh after a long, draining shift. As stressful as his job is, Anna becomes his one respite.

He has to admit, it’s nice to have at least one thing to look forward to.

Hiccup is a little sad to see Anna go. Of course, bumbling, socially awkward foot-in-mouth fool that he is, he doesn’t have the courage to ask for her number so they can keep in touch. That would, uh...probably be unprofessional or something. Besides, it would probably crush his heart and soul if she was weirded out by his soft spot for her so like...maybe best not to even open himself up to the possibility.

Then, not two weeks later, Anna shows up at the hospital again--this time having broken three bones in a hiking accident. Apparently she got too excited about a particularly nice view, and toppled right off the top of a very steep bluff. He, once again, takes on her care, and is delighted (albeit guiltily) to have her back. He, once again, has something to make work not suck as much!

Oddly enough, this turns out to be the first of many hiking accidents. Anna comes in next month claiming to have nearly burned her arm off in a rogue campfire, and then again the next month claiming to have been mauled by a bear (although Hiccup is pretty sure those bleeding gashes were just left by a very big dog, and Anna is too embarrassed to admit it). Odder still, Hiccup distinctly remembers talking to Anna during her first hospital stay about how much he loved hiking and the outdoors, and now all of her new string of injuries just happen to be hiking-related. He can’t help but be baffled about how her insurance even covers all of this, but apparently having a family lineage distantly related to Norwegian royalty has its perks.

On roughly her 7th hospital stay, Hiccup finally gathers up the courage to ask Anna for her number, if only because he figures it would be nice for them to see each other without Anna having to nearly get herself killed first every time XD

Bodyguard AU: Who is the bodyguard? Who are they protecting? Which one is secretly pining for the other?

OMIGOD SO

I HAD AN IDEA FOR THIS

What if Anna was sent to bodyguard Hiccup in an AU where Arendelle is a lot more militaristic???

Basically what I'm thinking is that this is in an alternate timeline, Hiccup didn't injure Toothless's tail when he shot him down. The beginning of HTTYD plays out the same, but Toothless can still fly and just yeets off after Hiccup frees him, supposedly never to be seen again. However, this still leads Hiccup to believe he may not be dragon-fighting material after all. The poor boy still yearns to find a way to prove his worth to Berk, though.

As Hiccup gets older, his strength doesn't really improve, and it becomes clear to Stoick that he's always going to be pretty scrawny. Because of this, he's hesitant to put Hiccup in dragon training for the sake of his son's own safety--and hey, Hiccup seems to have lost interest in dragon-fighting anyhow, so it's not like Hiccup will fight him on it. Nonetheless, the dragon raids are getting worse, and Stoick worries about Hiccup being able to protect himself at all. Knowing most of the older villagers are busy with dragon-fighting and other jobs, and honestly doubting any of the village's teenagers would protect Hiccup if push came to shove, Stoick sends out an appeal of sorts to neighboring villages and kingdoms requesting a bodyguard for his skinny disaster of a son.

Back in Arendelle, shut-in princess Anna is surprised yet intrigued when a messenger from the Viking village of Berk shows up at Elsa's coronation. In a timeline where Hans and Anna don’t have their chance encounter, Hans sets his wooing sights on the newly-crowned Queen Elsa (and fails), and no push ends up being strong enough to make Elsa lose control of her powers at the ceremony. Anna, however, still feels hurt by her sister’s seemingly reasonless rebuke earlier in the evening and finds herself aching to explore the world outside her castle and be close with someone--anyone--again.

When the Viking messenger requests a bodyguard for the Chief of Berk’s son, Anna is quick to volunteer. The messenger scoffs at first, but to his surprise, the soft-looking princess isn’t entirely unqualified. She filled many of her long, empty childhood hours training with the Arendelle guard, and her swordplay is admirable. To prove her worth, Anna faces off with one of the Berkian warriors in a duel--and holds her own shockingly well. While Queen Elsa is hesitant to let her sister run off to a faraway nation, Anna vehemently insists that Arendelle doesn’t need two monarchs, and this will be great for diplomatic relations in the long run. Of course, she also longs to explore and get away from the place she’s been trapped her entire life, but Elsa doesn’t need to know that part.

When Anna arrives in Arendelle, Hiccup has absolutely no idea what to make of his new bodyguard. On the one hand, a girl who’s good with a sword is hot, and he’s long since given up on Astrid anyways. On the other hand, Hiccup is definitely irked that his dad sees him as so weak and incapable that he’s the only Viking in the village who needs a full-on bodyguard, and he hates feeling like he’s being babied and coddled (not that this is Anna’s fault). Still, his bodyguard is essentially the only person who’s ever seemed to actually want to be friends with him in...well, his whole life, and honestly? He’ll take it.

Anna, meanwhile, still aching for love and connections of really any kind, is nigh-instantly smitten. His brains, his creativity, his constant snide jokes, his snark-coated good heart, his weird, messy hairdo--all of it has an 18-year-old Anna completely over the moon. Hiccup, feeling hopeless in the world of romance after being rejected by Astrid, is honestly just relieved to finally have a friend--to the point that it doesn’t even occur to him that Anna’s a girlfriend option.

Not long after she arrives in Berk, Anna is put into dragon training to prepare for raids. She does a bit of training of her own with Hiccup, teaching him some swordplay to try and boost his confidence. It’s not hard to tell that he has mixed feelings about having to have a protector, and Anna hopes that by teaching him some basic fighting skills he can at least feel a little better if he’s ever in a situation where she isn’t there to defend him.

As she gets deeper into her dragon training, Anna asks Hiccup why he never gave dragon training a go. Granted, him being as physically small as he is would be a disadvantage, but he could still learn to hold his own decently well using speed and stealth. It would help him be able to protect himself, if nothing else. Hiccup seems very reluctant to talk about the whole subject, but he says Anna needs to trust that he knows he can’t kill dragons. He tends to give the shortest answers possible to her questions, and nigh-instantly changes the subject. When Anna presses too much, he gets snippy.

As they get closer, Hiccup finally opens up to Anna about the time he shot down a Night Fury and couldn’t bring himself to make the final kill. He admits to cutting the creature free, and how the dragon nearly killed him--only to spare Hiccup just as Hiccup had spared him. “I saw more than just a ruthless killer when I looked into that dragon’s eye,” Hiccup tells her. “I saw myself. I think there’s so much more to them than anyone knows, but...you’re the only person I feel like would actually give me the benefit of the doubt on that.”

During the next raid, Anna pays closer attention to the dragons than before. She watches how they interact with the villagers, and notice that they never seem to go out of their way to go after people. They only fight Vikings when Vikings initiate, and the dragons’ main concern always seems to be taking sheep and fish. Left to their own devices, they don’t seem to want to hurt anyone.

Unfortunately, Anna standing off to the side and trying to watch what all the dragons are doing leaves her distracted--and vulnerable. She’s not prepared for a camouflaged changewing to melt out of the wall behind her, whipping around and backing her into a corner. Anna grabs for her sword but can hardly move, frozen in terror as the massive dragon stares her down.

She holds up an arm, bracing herself for a wall of fire, but none comes. There’s a swish of wings and a gust of wind blows her back. When she looks up, the dragon is gone.

It would’ve been beyond easy for the dragon to kill her. The creature clearly saw her--could have taken advantage in her moment of frozen stupor and burned her to a crisp. And yet...the dragon spared her. Just like the Night Fury had spared Hiccup.

Anna realizes Hiccup might be onto something.

Together, Hiccup and Anna decide they’re going to get to the bottom of what dragons are really like--and why they’re stealing the village’s food. While claiming to go out for “battle practice,” Hiccup and Anna track down dragons and study them in secret--observing them, writing about them, seeing how they behave and how they interact with one another. They’re surprised by what they see: left to their own devices, dragons are good-natured and compassionate, and they take care of their own. Strangely, they never seem to feed the stolen food to their young. Hiccup predicts they’re not actually keeping it for themselves, and taking it somewhere nigh unreachable for humans. For what actual purpose is anyone’s guess.

Anna starts using the info she gathers observing dragons with Hiccup in dragon-training. She finds ways to sooth them and calm them down in the ring by using things they seem to enjoy in the wild. Scented grass, bits of fish, soft touches, slow, gentle movements. The village marvels at her newfound skills, and can’t help but wonder where she developed such a knack for controlling dragons despite spending basically all her time around “Stoick’s little runt.” She couldn’t be training with him, of all people...could she? Astrid, for one, is definitely none too pleased about her spot at the top of the class being threatened.

Meanwhile, Anna and Hiccup can’t help but grow fond of the dragons they watch. They start becoming more bold, and leaving snacks of trout and mutton for the scaled creatures. Anna is delighted when the food ends up attracting none other than what she’s pretty sure is the same changewing who spared her, as well as a curious snaptrapper. She’s never gotten to see a snaptrapper up close before, and is completely undeterred by the triple-jawed four heads. Rather, she is far more preoccupied with coming up with the perfect name for each head.

“Omigod, he’s so PRETTY! And he smells like CHOCOLATE!”

“...you know they probably emit that scent to lure in prey so they can slice it in three, right?”

“CHOCOLATE, HICCUP!!!”

With each new meal, the local dragons grow more and more comfortable with Hiccup and Anna. After a while, the changewing and the snaptrapper even let Anna touch their noses. Anna falls in love with watching the changewing seem to melt around the forest as she camouflages, and rolling in the mud with the snaptrapper after a summer storm. Hiccup starts catching what seems to be glimpses of the Night Fury he freed, and it appears that the curious creature has come back to investigate him.

The Night Fury appears more and more, drawn in by Hiccup’s trout feast. Hiccup notices the dragon’s wing is injured, likely shot by someone from the village. Although he’s not completely helpless, he’s having trouble. Hiccup sets to work on his most daring project yet--making a “brace” of sorts that can mend the ripped wing.

When Hiccup and Anna attempt to distract the Night Fury long enough to climb up and put the wing brace on, something unexpected happens. The dragon shoots up to the sky, both unwitting passengers clinging onto his tail for dear life.

Once they get their bearings and clamber up to his back, the Night Fury (who Hiccup has nicknamed “Toothless” for his retractable teeth) takes them on a flight through the clouds. Unable to help herself, Anna laces her arms around Hiccup’s waist--if only so she can supposedly “hold on better.”

Hiccup, of course, still doesn’t get it.

The flight takes a sinister turn when Toothless takes them to the dragon nest, and Hiccup finally gets his answer about where all of the villages food has been going--to their queen. Unsure what to do or how to free their new friends from the Red Death, Hiccup and Anna promise each other one thing or sure--none of the rest of Berk can know about the dragon nest. If they attack it, it spells disaster for both dragons and Vikings--not to mention the question of how they got there is sure to dig up their secret dragon-related activities as of late.

With each dragon raid, Anna finds herself more and more reluctant to fight dragons--especially now that she knows what’s actually going on. She only does the bare minimum to protect the food and the village, never going out of her way to attack a dragon or landing a killing blow (although by this point, she’d definitely be skilled enough to). During one particularly intense raid, Anna is finding it harder and harder to fend dragons off without doing lethal damage. While driving out a particularly tenacious monstrous nightmare, Anna happens upon the same changewing she’s befriended in the forest, limping to safety.

It would be incredibly easy to finish the dragon off, but Anna refuses. The dragon knows she’s beat, and so Anna lets her leave without so much as a swing of the princess’s sword.

Unfortunately, Astrid sees.

After the raid, Astrid storms up to Anna and chews her out in front of the whole village, yelling about how weak she was to not go for a dragon kill when she had the chance. It turns out Astrid’s also been noticing Anna going intentionally easy on the dragons, and how much the Arendelle princess seems to hold back when fighting him. Astrid knows it’s not physical incompetence, or a lack of skill--she’s seen Anna subdue plenty of dragons in training.

No, it seems to be the princess’s heart that’s weak. Her kingdom must be nothing but a bunch of bleeding-hearted morons, and she’ll never be tough enough to really belong in Berk.

As he watches Astrid yell and the Berkians all turn to sneer at the scene, Hiccup feels a sudden rush of protectiveness for his friend. Tears are starting to form in the corners of her eyes, and something gives in him seeing her subjected to the very ostracization that left him completely alone for so many years.

He walks up beside Anna, and suddenly he’s shouting like he’s never quite had the courage to before.

“You’re wrong, Astrid! You’re all wrong!”

Before long, he’s spilling everything--how dragons are intelligent and caring creatures, how they’re only stealing food to feed a ruthless queen, how he’s sure humans have killed far more dragons than vice versa. The village stares, horrified. When Stoick storms forward, Hiccup and Anna know it’s nothing good.

Stoick is disgusted. The very bodyguard he had brought all the way out to Berk to give his son strength did nothing but fill Hiccup’s head with softness and dangerous lies. He banishes Anna, warning her never to set foot in Berk or speak to his son again.

Hiccup will not have it. He says if Anna’s leaving, he’s coming with her. He’s made his choice, and he’s standing by the only person who ever really treated him with unconditional love and kindness.

“Fine,” Stoick says simply. “We’ll be rid of two traitors, then.”

Cast out from Berk, Hiccup and Anna find themselves with a new mission: Find the nest before the rest of Berk does, and take out the Red Death once and for all.

With the help of Toothless, the Changewing (who Anna has nicknamed “Flicker”), and the Snaptrapper (whose heads Anna have very creatively named Leafy, Greeny, Spiky, and Badbreath. It’s beyond Hiccup how she tells all of them apart, but she’s very adamant about which is which.), they find the dragon hive again, and attempt the impossible--attacking the queen. It seems hopeless at first, but once more and more malcontented dragons see what they’re doing, they join in and rebel.

It’s a tough fight, but the two humans and the revolting dragons come out on top. Not before the Red Death has one last hurrah, though--letting out a final, massive blast of fire that knocks Hiccup askew and sends him tumbling down into the flames. Toothless, Flicker, Anna, and the Snaptrapper dive after, and are quickly engulfed in red and orange.

Meanwhile, the Berkians have sent out ships following Hiccup, Anna, and their dragons, guessing the nest is where they were headed. By the time they get there, the fight is over--and Stoick and Gobber just manage to catch a glimpse of Hiccup plummeting into the flames.

Anna screams Hiccup’s name until the smoke burns her throat so much she can’t anymore. She remembers swooping underneath him and just managing to grab hold of his limp body before everything goes dark.

When she comes to later, it’s still dark--but she feels something soft and warm in her arms, and feels scales pressed against her back. Her arm is searing with pain, but she barely notices it as her eyes adjust to the darkness. Hiccup is curled up against her--groaning, but alive.

Not sure she’ll ever get another chance, she puts a hand on his cheek and finally tells him the truth. “I love you.”

He opens his eyes and looks, gaze shocked until a slow realization washes over him. He smiles. “I love you, too.”

They both pass out, still wrapped up in each other.

When the flames clear, Stoick sees what looks like a pile of dragons, all pressed together with their wings folded in. Slowly, they lift their wings to reveal two humans--charred in places, but alive.

Wracked with guilt, Stoick realizes he was wrong. Hiccup’s new bodyguard helped his son become stronger and braver than the chief of Berk ever imagined.

It turns out taking down the queen saved the dragons and the humans, and thanks to Hiccup, Anna, and their dragon friends, Berk will never have to worry about dragon raids again.

It turns out Hiccup’s leg and Anna’s arm didn’t quite make it out of the fire. Luckily, Gobber has always been handy at prosthetics--and Hiccup manages to make a fairly dextrous and functional metal hand for Anna. Anna is utterly delighted with how cool it looks.

After the whole Red Death incident, it’s decided that Hiccup is probably competent enough that he doesn’t need his own bodyguard anymore. Nonetheless, Anna is welcome to stay in Berk as long as she likes. And with new dragon friends and an incredibly cute new boyfriend, she’s not going anywhere anytime soon!

***

This is in reference to this post! I’ve already done these questions for Moanida. Theoretically still willing to do any questions I haven’t yet for Hiccanna and Moanida, although these were exhausting to write out so I might not give as long of answers XD

#hiccanna #hiccup x anna #anna x hiccup #hiccup #anna #otp questions #hiccup haddock #princess anna #hiccupxanna #annaxhiccup #rotbtd #rotbtfd #httyd #frozen #crossover

[ais-n]

Naturally I’m rereading my favorite parts of the series like I do so often and I’m on The Interludes and it just reminds me how much I liked Bridget Monaghan’s character. She seemed to fully understood Boyd and was willing to call him out on his shit continuously throughout his interview and in such a calm and collected way. Most people when dealing with Boyd and his evasive word games get furious with him, even Hsin has wanted to backhand him more than a handful of times, but my theory is that she and Boyd would have the best time arguing over anything and everything in literally any other situation. I see Boyd as someone who genuinely likes to argue with people in a non aggressive way because he seems to me like someone who uses his words to best describe how he feels and thinks to other people; but it’s also a great way for him to deflect and protect himself with “technicalities” when he feels he’s in trouble or in danger. Bridget was good at talking with him and seeing her smirk throughout most of their interaction tells me that some part of her enjoys it as well. Honestly, I don’t know what this ask is even saying but like… you know what I’m saying…

Tl;dr, I think Bridget was probably the least problematic person from the Euro death squad and it’s too bad that she was the one murdered. Not cool John! Not cool.

Just in case - **SPOILERS FOR INTERLUDES AND FADE IN QUESTION AND ANSWER**

I never know anymore when/if I should tag spoilers but hey! Just in case I figured I would :)

I hadn't thought about it like this but you are absolutely right... she really was the best at ignoring his deflections and just continuously getting back to the point, spearing through any BS he tried pulling.

And yeah, I think Boyd does like to argue/debate with people - not aggressively, or even to be an asshole, he just likes to express himself with words and see what others are doing/thinking and all that. Part of that is probably a bit of a genetic hand-me-down from his journalist dad and idk-how-to-describe-her mom, but probably also it's related to how when he was younger (well actually, a lot of his life) he didn't really fit in super well with others and in school he was bullied. So he used to watch other kids/people basically studying how they interacted, what they did, etc, in a sort of social experiment to understand what he was doing wrong or what the difference was between them. Which is why, despite being so apathetic and introverted in the start of the series, he was still good pretty early on at blending in on missions. He'd already spent so much of his life watching people around him to see how to blend in that he knew how to apply some skills in work.

That may also be why he was more likely to see past the masks other people used or just at least could see something in them that they didn't see in themselves, and why he was less likely to be judgmental about it in the process. But because he also had spent so much of his life being told he was worthless and should die, he was also very defensive for a long time even if he didn't always realize it. Which I think is also what led to the technicalities you mentioned - which Boyd 100% does. Like. All the time lol

I feel like, if they'd been given the chance, Bridget and Boyd might have been able to have some interesting conversations in the future. She might have been someone who would have challenged him the most instead of just ignoring or dismissing or getting annoyed with the way he responded to some things.

I hadn't ever thought of it before but I think you're right - and that's sad! Dangit! Maybe in an AU they can chill together sometime lol Now I like to imagine them having long, detailed, friendly arguments about which restaurant serves the best food, or why this book in xyz series was better than that book, or Bridget could just come in one day when Boyd and Hsin have been fighting and be like "oh for fuck's sake, just TALK ALREADY" and lay waste to all of the excuses... Would have been fun and funny.

Thanks for the message! That made me happy to read and think about :)

#ask ais #icosbooks #icos spoilers #fade spoilers #interludes spoilers #spoilers #in the company of shadows

[firstginger]

I know you’re probably tired of doing formfinding/Dæmon analysis, but if you’re up for doing another one I’m trying to pinpoint my boyfriend’s Dæmon. He’s an INFP, 9w1 4w5 6w5, sx/sp, Hufflepuff. The closest daemons I can find that seem to match his personality are the General Flying Snake and the Grasshopper Sparrow. He got a Kinkajou on your Dæmon test which also seems pretty close for a Pullman form for him. He’s a very introverted person who doesn’t like to go out much and likes to stick

with what he knows, otherwise gets very anxious and has social anxiety/suffers with depression. He’s very kind, loyal, and creative. He can procrastinate and be lazy sometimes, but he gets his work done and does his best at it. He can be spontaneous in how he dresses and starts certain art or fashion related projects. He’s very dependent and close bonding with a select few people (me, friends, and family). He can become easily stressed and hates conflict or competition. He is very much a peace-maker

and always wants to right what is wrong, even when he has done something wrong or upsetting. He’s very affectionate and is in a relationship for life. He’s not manipulative at all and is very communicative when expressing his thoughts and feelings. He has a hard time trusting new people in his life, but he will slowly begin to open up. I hop e this gives a pretty good picture overall. Sorry for the lengthy message. Again, if you have time I would greatly appreciate it. I know you’ve

been through a lot this year. You’re so strong having such a positive attitude about everything and the genuine kindness you show towards people is amazing. Thank you so much for always responding to my lengthy messages and requests. I love reading your analyses and advice. Thank you so much!

thank you so so much for the kind words, it really means a lot to me ❤️ i was meaning to ask you if you’d settled on a mourning dove or a golden retriever too!!

this is a fantastic description and i spent a lot of time milling about this. if you have reasons why the flying snake and grasshopper sparrow didn’t quite fit that would also be super helpful, definitely message me about them and the forms i suggested below and i can refine my suggestions!

looking at the two descriptions though, i think i can see why the flying snake was close but no cigar... from how you describe him, the flying snake seems too detached and not communicative enough. most snake forms tend to be more socially tolerant and not what i’d describe as dependent at all; they also have a capacity for manipulation and a desire to go about their life undisturbed that i think your boyfriend lacks. i really enjoy the snake form for a lot of people, but affectionate and kind aren’t cardinal traits of theirs.

looking at the grasshopper sparrow, again i think i can see the issues you’re having — the capacity for manipulation (sparrows as a whole are pretty tenacious and survivalists as a species) and that methodical and detail-oriented nature doesn't seem to become him, if he's more the creative and procrastinating type. birds get placed as sensors a lot and while i don't think it's a hard and fast rule, sparrows i think lack a lot of the strengths of an intuitive, while exemplifying the strengths of a sensor. at the same time, i can definitely see a lot of traits in him that might fit a birds, so i wanted to start with other bird suggestions that might work before broadening into other species. my only hesitation with other passeridae is many of them group together in flocks, are migratory, and engage in polyandry, but i’ll play around with some and other aves species.

the rock sparrow was my initial thought that could fit him. a very shy and unobtrusive species, the rock sparrow is typically found in low densities, but displays a strong ability to adapt across a variety of habitats. different groups of rock sparrows show different degrees of gregariousness and breeding strategies... when a species is capable of demonstrating a range of adaptive behavior like this, i think it best correlates to human behavior as someone flexible. they also have an impressive capacity for vocalizations, and their preference for taking over abandoned burrows instead of building their own i think fits a procrastinating reputation. so in summary: a rock sparrow person would be highly capable of adaptation and flexibility, while still being an individual who prefers not to over-exert themselves and likes to find a niche. they may be too socially tolerant for your boyfriend as loose group activity doesn’t stress them, but they show an extreme attachment to their loved ones, with mate-guarding techniques that would translate to protectiveness and dependence. very communicative but not confrontational or assertive. tends to be the procrastinating and corner-cutting type, though diligent when it comes to completing work and seeing things through. i thought the yellow patch would also be cute symbolically for someone who dresses spontaneously too!

have you considered species of buttonquail, such as the quail-plover? they’re not related to the galliforme quails. the quail-plover specifically is a monogamous species that’s typically only found in small groups, and displays shy and anxious behavior when threatened. again though they’re pretty adaptable and willing to be flexible, and considering their nervous temperament, i would anticipate them to be less bold and gregarious and more the type of person who will change from routine if it avoids future stress or conflict.

coursers like the indian courser and double-banded courser i think would be my last aves suggestion... they’re non-migratory and engage in solitary, monogamous behavior. definitely not ambitious individuals and likely also display that kind of “bare minimum” behavior; less adaptable than any of the sparrow species and enjoy tried and true methods. habitual but efficient and determined in their own niche, they come to life when pursuing their specific passions. very generous and giving people with their loved ones. socially tolerant and non-aggressive. they’ll also flush, which gives me the impression of someone more anxious, especially when coupled with how camouflaged they and their nests are. interestingly, while they do vocalize, the indian courser in specifically does not call when the nest is approached — i think this species would best fit someone who wants to keep their head down, communicative but very non-assertive and wants to keep the peace.

outside of birds, this behavior actually reminded me a lot of some pseudocheiridae... i really think the rock-haunting ringtail possum is a worthwhile to check out! they live in small groups and are highly adapted to their territory; they're so well-camouflaged for their rocky terrain, to hide from predators, they literally just stick their head into a crevice and keep their body exposed. when foraging they don't travel far from their home, but they have a highly diverse diet. they’re extremely vigilant animals and demonstrate generosity towards their group-mates through alarm calls. very tightly knit family groups and they show dependence on their loved ones, as well as high communication and reciprocity with their people. their communication is both vocal and scent-related, though they’re not aggressive or assertive at all, and prefer to avoid trouble. i think this fits a lot of boxes that you mentioned: habitual, kind and loyal, anxious, close-bonding, conflict-avoidant, devoted, and communicative.

the kéwel (bushbuck) might be too withdrawn and quiet, but could be worth a look too... a lot of bovines are pretty defensive and boundary-keeping, but this species is quite tolerant and passive. they travel in small groups but aren’t territorial at all; i imagine this to be a private soul who closely values their group of friends, but is rather socially tolerant and not assertive around others. just by the nature of the bushbuck, i would consider this individual dependent on their loved ones as well. they also definitely prefer their routines and habits and aren't terribly ambitious, and prefer to stay out of the limelight and conserve their peace. i can’t emphasize enough how tolerant these people are. they communicate primarily through scent, so while i wouldn’t describe this individual as overly expressive, they are clear about their thoughts and boundaries.

the last suggestion i’ll toss out is the finless porpoise, if you’re open to aquatic mammals? i think it strikes a nice balance between the creative and spontaneous side he has, and then also someone more introverted and peaceful. the finless porpoise is more mellow and even-tempered than other porpoises. they travel in small, tightly formed groups and display affectionate behavior to reinforce those social bonds. i imagine someone with this daemon to be kind but introverted, an individual who is hard to get to know but blossoms into someone open-hearted and generous. they likely have a sensitive disposition and are slow to start on tasks, but are focused and diligent once they set their mind to something. like most porpoise species, they’re definitely curious and inquisitive people, but finless porpoises are more cautious and the type to look before they leap.

i hope this was helpful! let me know your thoughts!

#booksforlions #daemonism #form finding #hdm #long post

[done-mer-moved]

i Also don't know ur OCs but: 1, 4, 5, 8, 15, 22, 23, 24, 25, 33, 42, 50, 54, 56, 61, 73, and 78 please? -drunkmiraak

[[LKdghlkj sorry this took so long!! I got super sick so it sat half-done in my drafts for 84 years. @drunkmiraak]]

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

So, while I’ve got half a billion OCs by technicality, my main idiot is Azaryne Redoran who takes the role of the Vestige in the ESO story I write with @sinnaroll by the name of Soulbound. (Ima also just casually pass on these questions for her to answer in reply for D'tannen, who is the other main character in this thingy so you can get to know him too!)

Thank you so much for asking!! Here we gooooo~!

1. What is/are your OC’s nickname(s) and how did it come about?

Az’s main nickname is the self-explanatory name shortening from “Azaryne” to “Az”. But D'tannen has kinda stuck on jabbing him with “pretty boy” to the point where it’s basically a nickname lol 

Also, in-game plot reasons dictate that the Five Companions also know him by “Vestige”, much to his dismay. It’s what the Scrolls named him by, so the Prophet tends to slip and refer to him that way, and the others kinda do too by proxy for a while. However, after Az makes it clear that he’s really uncomfortable with it, Lyris and Sai specifically make a point not to call him that.

4. What is a noticeable physical attribute of your OC?

So I memed twice earlier before I got to these questions lasdgkh gomen, but my goofier answers are Dorito Shape and Resting Trouble Face

But more seriously, one of his major notable physical features is that he’s pretty much covered in tattoos from his neck down past his waist and starting down his legs. They’re being redesigned from scratch right now because I can’t ever allow myself to have characters that can be adequately represented in game i guess lmfao but here’s the in-game tattoos with some photo-editing for an earlier visual draft on where they might cut off—

It’s a total personal headcanon but I decided that since the in-game body marking style was pretty clearly influenced by Maori-style kiriituhi, that Az’s tattoos are also highly significant in a similar way. Each piece symbolizes or connects to either his ancestry, or his own life and skills and milestones. His designs weren’t finished, but have the indication of where they were meant to continue as he hit new points in his life. Unfortunately, since his life was cut so short, that’s as far as they ever get.

On a lighter note, he also has pretty big ears?? Lmao

5. What does your OC normally wear? What would your OC wear on a special night?

He likes clothes that are comfortable but flattering. He knows what his assets are and enjoys looking well-dressed – a bit of a remnant from his previous life as a noble. 

He tends to favor sleeveless tops and cool-colored fabrics with neutral accents. He particularly likes blues of all shades, and some purples. He’ll also occasionally wear red. On his travels he wears leather armor that fits within these features, and notably has a Khajiiti-style jack because he liked the aesthetic of it when he saw the style in a tailor’s display. 

When he’s dressing up, he’ll wear more flowing robe-like attire. He had more reason to do so while he was alive, and at the time it was usually specifically Dunmeri cultural clothing. Over the course of Soulbound, he only dresses up the once so far for a date with Sinna. That takes place in Orsinium, so it’s Orcish formal wear. 

Even if the situation’s not a fancy one, though, he’ll usually still wear kohl eyeshadow, which D’tannen gives him shit for, of course lol.

8. How does your OC talk/what does your OC’s voice sound like?

Az’s voice is light, crisp, warm and friendly. It’s between tenor and baritone in range, and the expected Dunmeri accent. He’s well spoken, and you can tell he’s well educated, but his phrasing isn’t snobbish or condescending, and there’s a firm sort of sincerity to his speech, even when he’s being playful.

15. What was your OC’s childhood like?

Az’s childhood was a little complicated in that it came with a great deal of privilege, but also a great deal of expectation. He was noble-born— the eldest son of House Redoran’s Archmaster— so before he was even old enough to have an awareness of the world, his parents had already decided many things about his future. 

In spite of both this and the constant pressure of the Redoran philosophy that “a light, careless life is not worth living”, Az had an untamable spirit that continuously tried his parents’ patience. As a child, his impulsivity, tendency to bend the rules, and headstrong defiance on points he fundamentally disagreed with led to frequent discipline, and a particularly strained relationship with his father.

Over time, he begrudgingly learned to play by the rules, but would still disappear from time to time for brief moments of freedom. 

He had two younger siblings— Eralane and Meril, and they had very close and loving relationships with each other. Az always did his bes to see right by them, so they felt safe in knowing that he would always have their backs. They didn’t ever keep much from him, as a result, and Meril specifically often looked up to him as a role model.

By the time he was fourteen, he’d been arranged into a political betrothal to solidify clan relations within the House, and it was decided that the two would be married in 16 years when they were both fully grown adults. Neither he nor his intended fiancée were really comfortable with this, but even as young as they were, they knew it was a sticky situation far bigger than just the two of them. So, they quickly established that, future aside, they didn’t feel entitled to each other’s feelings. They would both rather have a straightforward, honest friendship than try to force things between them. 

Because of this, there was no tension when other chemistries developed in later years. Instead, they continued to ignore their inevitable marriage, and turned their performative date nights into formally-dressed vent and gossip sessions. Using the expectations put upon them to their advantage as they got older, they also happily became each other’s alibi when either of them needed time away with other people.

22. Who is/are your OC’s closest friend(s)?

Since arriving back on Tamriel, he’s been shuffling company a lot on his journeys. He’s also pretty introverted, despite being fairly socially adept. He doesn’t have any real connections from his previous life anymore, but has met many people and made casual friends and positive acquaintances with a solid chunk of new ones.

In terms of more serious friendships, D’tannen is honestly the closest, which is kind of incredible honestly laksdhg. But, they travel with each other day in and day out, so there’s a tight bond there that’s developing fast.

He’s also particularly attached to Irvane, who was his first friend since coming back to Nirn.

23. Who are the people your OC surrounds him/herself with?

Along the same lines as I just said above, he’s never in one place for very long right now, so he is constantly around new people. His kind heart and need for hands-on activity means he tends to gravitate toward people he can help in some way or another. His empathy and sense of honor do most of the weeding. He’d rather be around someone who has shown good intentions, even if they are rough around the edges, than someone who rests on the laurels of past deeds and judges others against themselves.

24. Who are the people your OC dislikes/hates?

It’s pretty damn hard to make this list, at least if you have any sort of good bone in your body. He’s really very empathetic and patient, and will forgive so quickly once he feels amends have been made that it’s honestly gotten him into trouble.

But, even with that said, he’s got some strong resentments for some strong reasons… Notably: Mannimarco and his Worm Cult, ol’ Molag Bal himself, and pretty much anyone who allies with them… Malacus is another name that quickly finds its way on the list under “kill unflinchingly” as he becomes closer with D’tannen.  

25. If your OC has a soulmate, who is it?

oh my god im so sorry this joke is just right here its too easy to grab i can’t help myself – 

Doesn’t a soulmate require… a soul…? 

33. What subjects interested your OC?

He’s always done whittling as a hobby, so he’s currently kinda advancing on that in woodcarving. Since he was also trained in maintaining and repairing his own weapons and armor in life, that’s carried over into an interest in actually crafting weapons on his own. He does wind up making his own bow way later on, and even spends a bit of time with the Morkul Orcs in the Orsinium arc learning to do some metalwork.

42. What makes your OC happy?

He’s very attached to his dog Blackjack, and the mutt can always seem to pick him up when he’s otherwise faltering. He loves whittling and tends to carve little objects to occupy his mind. Complicatedly, D’tannen makes him happy as well, lol. 

He also tends to have moments where he finds happiness in specific things, but the emotion related feels strange or misplaced. When this happens, it’s usually because whatever he’s experiencing— a particular sight or smell or flavor— is something that ties directly to a positive memory he’s lost from his life before. A sort of unwitting-nostalgia that’s hard to pinpoint or replicate.

As a general rule, he’s pretty easily contented. He lives very much in the moment, which combined with his adaptability and natural optimism, means that he’s usually able to find some small spark of cheer for himself anywhere he goes. He’s always wanted the freedom of life as an adventurer, so if circumstances were different, this would honestly be an ideal life for him. However, it’s pretty dampened by the stress of current events, along with the nagging restless and hollow feeling of having lost his soul.

50. What secrets does your OC have?

This is a bit of a tricky one. He’s not a super open person, but he also doesn’t like to lie to cover things up. However, there are many things about his life at present that he finds he has to dance around giving knowledge of. In some ways, the very nature of his current existence is something he keeps tucked away. It’s not very easy to explain to anyone, so he’s grateful that for the majority of the people he interacts with, direct questions never really come up.

In the second act of Soulbound, however, after he becomes very close with Sinna, Sinna asks him directly for his story. He dodges it for quite some time before finally giving him the details, but he’s kind of nervous at that point to state it. He doesn’t know how Sinna might react. But, he lays it out on the table anyway: He’s not truly alive. He’s what remained of himself after he was sacrificed by cultists to Molag Bal. His soul was stolen, and he has only vague pieces of memories from when he lived. And now, he’s been prophesied to assist in stopping a daedric invasion. 

Sinna’s response was heartfelt. But, nobody could blame him for the fact that all he could manage for a brief moment after listening was “Wild….”

54. Does your OC think with his/her head or heart?

Heart… His upbringing tried its best to instill an ability to detach for the sake of duty, but honestly, he’s never been able to. Even when he knows there’s no way he can avoid a difficult situation, and is able to approach it tactically, emotion will be gnawing at him all the while, and he’ll be completely staunch on the things he believes the most if those interfere with the “logical” course of action.

56. What are some of your OC’s strengths?

He’s honestly got a wide range of skills in a lot of ways. He’s a highly skilled archer, and has a very well-rounded set of combat and survival skills that have been hardwired into him since a very young age. He’s also got a great sense of aesthetics, which he likes to express in woodworking and whittling when he can. He’s intelligent, but a lot of his skill specifically in emotional/social intelligence comes from his powerful empathy, and how dramatic swings of circumstances in his life have given him many perspectives to draw from, even subconsciously through the massive amnesia he struggles with. He’s incredibly adaptable. He’s intensely loyal, courageous, and firmly optimistic even through the worst circumstances. He’s got an incredibly strong character to him, and it tends to be both charming and inspiring, even when he doesn’t recognize that he’s producing these effects himself.

61. What is the general impression your OC gives other people?

Honest. Empathetic and selfless. Good-natured, down to earth, and a bit wild-spirited. Patient, incredibly forgiving. Helpful. Playfully charming. A protector. A defender of good.

73. What is your OC’s favorite form of entertainment?

He likes art, stories, nature, animals, and adventure. Crafting from time to time as well.

78. What is your OC’s favorite time of day?

Late morning. The point in the day when you’re up and awake and setting off. The whole day lies in wait before you, and you’re ready to meet it

#eso #the vestige #dunmer #redoran #the elder scrolls online #drunkmiraak #thank you again!! <3 #az #azaryne #soulbound

[infpsupport]

Why INTJs are great

We can read a lot of good and bad things about INTJs. We can read that they are smart, ambitious, driven bla bla, we can also see some people saying they are just damn arrogant, completely uncaring, zero empathy, superiority complex etc. I understand that people are different within one type and we cannot classify them as everyone is different and yes sure, I agree, but INTJs, still share certain traits and I am going to talk about them in this post, so bear with me and I will try to explain why I think they are great.

So I am first going to break it down with functions, so as you maybe already now, INTJs have Ni, Te, Fi, Se and then Ne, Ti, Fe, Si.

Let’s start from extroverted functions, because this is how INTJs give first impression. So yeah, not sure how to start really, damn, but. Se. Their inferior Se makes them very careful with what experience they are giving to you because they want you to be loyal for them. Sometimes they think their effort is not appreciated and that really makes them feel bad, like they let someone down? I had that colleague, he would be telling me ‘sorry for that experience’ whereas for me it was all cool and at first I couldn’t get why he is even sorry. I mean, I see when people are trying to do something nice, even if something isn’t super perfect because for example we missed a bus or something. I mean, that doesn’t even matter. If someone doesn’t appreciate your effort then that someone is not right fr you. INTJs, I think, they very much don’t want to draw attention to themselves in some social event or situation with people they don’t know well, my colleague would let me do stuff in public with people, but I don’t mind even, just that it seems INTJs are afraid about how they are perceived. But they can give you so thoughtful gifts, out of nothing really. They will bring you food and something sweet, if they like you, they will invite you to places, will do things that you want to do. And once I realized that it is their insecurity, what experience they are giving, I was so amazed that they still are able to make them be better and better at this, and that all is for others actually. For me that was always very special. I am using past tense, because I actually refer mostly (but not only) to a particular INTJ in my life who is no longer my friend. So yeah, Se. I think being insecure makes them be less affectionate and let’s say assertive daily on how they feel and what they need, but that may be in general about everyone, we have to learn assertiveness. For me that inferior Se is beautiful, I don’t know. It is like willing to give but at the same time being scared, not sure about how that will be received so they don’t want to do that much, or want to, but not to everyone, yeah, that is better. Of course, Se is also appearance bla bla, but I don’t care that much, let’s say, but yeah INTJs are usually pretty hot I must say. Okay I am done with Se.

Now Te. So Te is I think what is just most easily visible in INTJ. This is a parent function. They want to parent others with their logic and objectiveness. At first I found myself drawn to that, I like decisive people, that can be also annoying though, it is like, stop treating me like a child, gosh. But then you realize that INTJ has actually some point, but that doesn’t make me follow it necessarily, but sometimes I kind of need it, because I myself have troubles seeing things objectively maybe... And Te actually gets stuff done, and Te is driven. You know you can rely that Te user will not only talk with you but also will be able to give you an objective advice and take some necessary action for you. It can sound harsh for some, but actually sometimes harsh is good, if it is constructive. My Te is lower in function stuck so I kind of don’t handle well when others give me orders and just cold logic, so at work it is sometimes quite annoying, but in private life I really appreciate it. My brother is ISTJ and I love his Te too. 

Yeah let’s go now to Ni. So Ni is a hero, first function for INTJ. Yeah.. something mysterious, screaming: nobody understand me, bla bla. For me I would just describe it as something very deep, but deep in this personal way. And oh I know, it is like bullshit detector. For INTJ it is with objectivity, for INFJ it is with people, detecting lies etc. INTJ are often very spiritual people, trying to be at peace with themselves, liking deep and meaningful conversations.. And again bla bla because I think that more than that they just want to be understood and that they have someone to whom they can say their things. I use Ne so I kind of search for different ideas and they are many but not well thought out and so with other Ne users it is sometimes like just jumping from one to another and it is not that in depth and less with subjective insights. INTJ will give you his insights. I think this is why Ne likes Ni and vice versa. Ne wants to share and talk about it, Ni wants to digest and give his insight. Ni is rather skeptical in INTJ (like Ti in INTP with logic, here Ni with ideas) so Ni wants to know whether the new concept is really good to be included to their framework. Ne users just enjoy ideas, they can talk about them for the sake of talking and that makes them energized. All right, maybe not for the sake of talking, they love ideas, but they treat them more superficially than Ni users. Ni will always win with Ne. Like any introverted function with extroverted one. 

Fi as a tertiary function is my favorite one. They are so protective of their feelings and often just want to appear cold (their Te) but in reality they are super sensitive, loving and caring. They are just not good with expressing it verbally (Fe blind spot) which causes them I think lots of trouble, which eh which is so bad because people often confuse their exterior ‘coldness’ for being heartless which definitely isn’t true. With their Ni they can have so profound actually understanding of the human nature and be empathetic, I see it with my INTJs. They will feel what the character in the movie feels if they can somehow relate and they have strong opinions on what is right and wrong. That Fi is so cute, as this is a child function, it is very innocent. That my INTJ ex friend would be caring to not cross the street at the right traffic light not because he doesn’t want to break the rule, but because at that particular time some kid was on the other side and by crossing the street, he would teach the kid the wrong thing. That is, well, just Fi child, wow. Generally that Fi with Ni makes INTJ look for me like a cute, black cat. My brother with child Fi is similar. He is so innocent, really, for example, my brother has a friend who got his girlfriend pregnant and they got married because of that. They were kids, like 22 years old or something. They aren’t happy now, he is very rude to her and in general treats her badly, doesn’t want to work, doesn’t care about that baby (it is like 2 - 3 years after marriage). My brother saw them arguing, tried to talk to his friend, but nothing. And then my brother confesses to me, in text of course, that he feels so bad because he saw him not being totally fair towards her before marriage, like flirting with girls and well, he called that cheating, but I am not sure what that meant. And he felt bad because he didn’t say anything and now that girl is with him and is unhappy. Eh. That my INTJ friend would feel bad for example if he made joke about someone that could be actually in some way offensive which hah I don’t really think so... It is funny how Fe tricks them. They don’t realize when they hurt, but when they don’t, they actually feel bad about that thing. 

They are super into self development and really want someone to grow with and just be together and feel safe with and spoil maybe sometimes together a bit. They like to help you. They are thoughtful. They are sensitive. They care about this world. They are yet very misunderstood and I can imagine it can be lonely for them due to Fe trickster and Se inferior. 

Now if you are still here I want to say what you can work on, yeah I did that on purpose, dragged you here :D. 

Well, I would really like if INTJ worked a bit with their Fe, I mean, to be more open to suggestions that others may be giving to them. It seems to me that they are very reluctant but sometimes people just want to help you. I found that if I rationalize why it is good about Fe more and what INTJ can do, with reasons, then INTJ can actually take it. People need people, really. INTJ would say: fuck people and society and then wonder why they are lonely. They would complain about how people are dumb, how narrow minded, how spoiled and whatever else but some knowledge about people is unfortunately necessary in life, and some feeler can help you with that, like you help with many other things. So it is to say to be just open more to suggestions about that and not feel offended. You will see the law of attraction will bring you benefits in the sphere of relationships with people, what you give, you will receive. Give kindness, and you will receive kindness. Give understanding and you will receive understanding, even if not from the same person you offered it to. 

I really love INTJs and wish them best, you will be understood and appreciated if you are not yet, I am sure, I mean, because you are awesome, right?

#intj #intj thoughts #intj things #intj problems #mbti #mbti types #mbti personality types #mbti conversations #intj female #intj male #intj love

[mysticmikalla]

hello !! i was wondering if i could request something? how would the rfa + minor trio react to an mc whose an introvert? like shes only rlly outgoing when shes comfortable nd hates public speaking nd if shes around a crowd for too long then she needs to be by herself for some time. like she’ll just lay on the bed and stare at the wall for a little while or take a nap and rest until she feels like she can be around people again. and sometimes she’ll get rlly iffy abt romantic touching

Oooh i relate heavily to this MC!! Introverts unite!

***

Yoosung

“Zen invited us to a party this friday” your boyfriend mentioned

Ah, damn, there goes your friday night of rest and movies

The week had been so tiring and you couldn’t wait to just stay in all weekend

“Oh, really?”

“Yup” he nodded

“Are we going?”

“Yeah I guess…”

“Ok, cool.”

He puffed out air from his cheeks

“…”

“…”

“Do yo actually want to go?” He eyed you

“Uh, no..”

“Oh, thank God! I don’t want to either!” he let out a sigh of relief, “What excuse should we use this time? That I’m sick or you’re sick?”

“I was already sick last time, its your turn”

“Okay. Movie marathon, then?”

“Movie marathon.” You smiled

God bless your equally introverted boyfriend

Zen

See, you loved your boyfriend, you really did

From the moment you joined the RFA, he was all that filled your mind

But sometimes he could be a little….touchy

Don’t get me wrong, you loved it when he cupped your cheek before he kissed you, or absentmindedly drew circles on the skin of your shoulder when he had his arms around you

But it got a little too much sometimes

I mean

Did he have to have his hands on your thighs…all the time? 

Sometimes you wanted to talk with your hands or grab something but he was always holding it

It felt a little restraining sometimes

And you felt guilty about having these thoughts!!

He was the perfect boyfriend!! What were you whining about!!

You felt ungrateful, and your friends told you as much

But you couldn’t help it, it was the way you always were

And it wasn’t with just him, either

He must have eventually caught on

“You don’t really like it when I touch you like this, do you?” he asked you out of the blue one day

“Why do you say that?”

“C’mon, MC, you grow stiff when I touch you sometimes”

You felt awful. Had you hurt his feelings?

“I’m sorry, Zen…I really like it when you touch me, its just…I like some space for myself sometimes…” You attempted to explain, avoiding his gaze

You expected him to be angry, but he just?? laughed??

“I understand, MC. It’s hard to keep my hands off you, but I’ll try to keep it to a minimum”

Jaehee

You were fretting all night long

It was the first RFA party you hosted, and the members insisted you gave a speech at the end of the night

You know, to thank everyone for coming and whatnot

There were so many people, all kinds of people

It terrified you

You practiced your speech all night, but still felt like you would choke up on your words

It was worse when Yoosung went on and on about how Rika gave the most amazing speeches ever and was super charismatic, and you couldn’t help but feeling like you had to live up to her 

Jaehee was the first to notice how quiet and anxious you seemed

When it was time, Jumin took the stage and gave an opening speech

You envied his confidence, and dearly wished you had a silver tongue like his

“And now, I’d like to introduce the person who made this party possible-”

Before you could make your way up the stage, a certain other someone had taken your place

Jumin was confused lol

“Assistant Kang, what you are you-”

You watched in awe at how Jaehee improvised an entire speech, acting as natural as if she were talking to a close friend

What kind of dark magic is this,,,

She would smile reassuringly in your direction

“I could tell this was troubling you,” She simply stated once you asked why she went up there instead of you, “I couldn’t let you go up there if you didn’t feel good about it.”

Rika who?? Jaehee is the true savior tbh

Jumin

He was…rather shocked when he first met you in person

You were always so bubbly in the chatroom, hyping up Zen’s selfies and going along with Seven’s jokes

But when you all got together for the first time, you were… shy?

Not shy, he noted, just reserved

And honestly, he really  liked it

He especially liked it when you two got closer, and the only one who got to see your outgoing, passionate, intense side was him

It made him feel special

He’d do most of the talking whenever you two went out to eat on company dinners

Being the charismatic man he is, it was no problem for him to carry most of the conversation

The only thing he was confused about was your need to be alone at times

You told him that it you were similar to Elizabeth the 3rd

She loved receiving attention from him and being pet, but she also needed time alone to do…you know, what cats do

He understood it after that

“Does that mean I can keep you in a cage sometimes?”

Jumin nO

Seven

You couldn’t wait. You could not wait to get home after the party

Take off those uncomfortable heels, slip into your PJs, watch your favorite show and just relax

You were daydreaming about it at the party

The RFA parties were always really fun, but draining

Greeting and making small talk with all the guests absolutely exhausted you

You were nearly bouncing up and down with excitement when the last guest left, ready to go home

“MC!” Seven beamed, “Are you ready?”

“?? For??

“The RFA after-party, of course! We’re are all going to Jumin’s for a drink right now.”

Your heart sunk

You loved hanging out with them, you did

But you were just…so tired, and needed some You time

Unable to say no, you ended up going along

While at Jumin’s, you remained quieter than the rest, mainly sitting on the couch and playing with your phone

Yoosung and Zen were already drunk and loud, and you really just longed for the quiet of your home

You felt your boyfriend grab your hand

“Come on, I’m driving you home.”

“But we just got here-”

“MC, I know you. I can tell you’re not fully into this right now. It’s okay. Let’s go home, yeah?”

Bless him

V

He’s an artist

So out of everyone, he’s the one who understands your need to take some time to be alone and think the best

For you two, a lot of quality time together was spent with your backs to each other, you with headphones on and him drawing or painting

While he didn’t have a big problem with crowds and socializing quickly with new people, but he started to avoid them because he knew it made you uncomfortable

What a cutie

And honestly, he also preferred to hang out with just you or a smaller group of friends than a lot of people

Not the biggest party animal anyway, so your weekend plans were quiet and easygoing

Napping together is also a part of your routines

Not necessarily cuddling and touching, just…

Knowing that the other is there is enough 

Saeran

He would sulk at first when you dint text him back right away

Or when you kept your phone calls short, and rarely called him first

Or when you said you’d rather stay home that night instead of going out with him sometimes

Being the insecure lil bean he is, he’d think he had done something wrong, or that you didn’t love him enough

And thinking he did something wrong, he wouldn’t contact you for days

And because you were recharging, you wouldn’t contact him either

Someone help these two!!

It wasn’t until you showed up at his house a few days later, acting casual that he would get it

“Wait…you’re not mad at me?”

“?? No?? Why would you think that?”

“You weren’t really speaking to me so I thought…”

You apologized, and explained the whole introvert/extrovert thing, and how sometimes you needed some time to yourself

He later took a quiz on Buzzfeed and found out he’s an ambivert

nerd

#mystic messenger #mystic #messenger #mystic messenger headcanons #mystic messenger scenarios #mystic messenger imagines #yoosung kim #Hyun ryu #mm zen #jaehee kang #jumin han #saeyoung choi #luciel choi #707 #jihyun kim #mm v #saeran choi #mm ray #otome

[inloveandwords]

I read a total of 14 books between June 14 & June 27 and there were so many great ones!

All of the books I mention in this video can be found and purchased on my storefront here.

  Quiet Girl in a noisy world by Debbie Tung

4 stars

This is a graphic novel that is basically a series of scenarios that will be very relatable to true introverts. I am much more of an extroverted introvert, so there were some things that I didn’t fully relate to, but I totally understood. The illustrations were adorable and I read this book within an hour. I think this book would make a great gift for your introvert friends who don’t get enough love in this noisy world.

Can I Come Over by Whitney G

4 Stars

I saw that a friend of mine on bookstagram was reading a couple of Whitney G novels and this was one of them. It definitely inspired me to pick it up since it was my birthday and her novels tend to be short and sweet – like a little treat on a day of relaxation.

This book had so many great romance tropes happening in it. First of all, the heroine, not unlike Whitney G, is a successful author of short, self-published, steamy romance novels. She joins this sort of pen pal ish service that is supposed to be strictly platonic and starts talking to this guy. At first he’s a douche, but then they work things out. Turns out he is her dad’s good friend. So there is a forbidden and age gap scenario.

I have to be honest, I didn’t love this at first. I really didn’t like the way the hero was talking to our heroine at all and I worried he wouldn’t redeem himself.

He did and I ended up really enjoying this. Whitney G does what few authors can when it comes to steamy novellas: she builds chemistry quickly and crafts a believable romance in otherwise outlandish settings. Her and Katee Robert are my two very favorite short, steamy, romance writers for that reason.

When a Scot Ties the Knot by Tessa Dare

5 Stars

I finally did it! I read a Tessa Dare novel and everyone was right. I freaking loved it.

This book is about a woman who is incredibly introverted and to avoid having to do the typical coming out in society thing, she makes up a pretend boyfriend. A Scottish soldier who, it turns out, actually exists.

He has been receiving her letters and learns all about her from them, so when he shows up unexpectedly at the house she inherited because of her fake engagement to him, she’s obviously surprised.

For those who don’t normally like historical romances, I think Tessa Dare is the perfect place to ease your way into the genre. Her heroines aren’t annoyingly innocent and naive. Her books feel modern even though they are not.

This had so many elements of a great romance: fake dating, a little bit of enemies-to-lovers, and an adorable meetcute.

I can’t wait to read more Tessa Dare!

The Black Flamingo by Dean Atta

5 Stars

This is a coming-of-age memoir about a mixed-race gay teen who eventually finds himself when he discovers drag, written in verse. Obviously I can’t personally speak for the rep in this novel, but I can tell you that it was beautifully written.

I’m a big fan of modern poetry and though I connected a little more with the poetry in The Poet X a little more, I still really liked this one. While I loved the audiobook, I have seen a few pages of the book and I wish I had it as I was reading as well.

I feel like this book is so important for young people to read, to help them see outside of their boxes – or to help them find themselves on page. To help them not feel so alone.

Cherry Magic

4 stars

My very first official manga was gifted to me by my sweet friend, @genkireader, for my birthday. There was definitely a learning curve when it came to reading this. I was messaging her on Instagram with questions like, “Wait, this book is backwards, where do I start? Do I read right to left or left to right?” It was surprisingly more difficult than I expected, but I REALLY enjoyed this book. So much so that I ended up buying a few more of her favorites.

This book was quirky and cute. It’s about a guy who has developed the power to read people’s mind through touch and he thinks it is because he’s a 30yo virgin. He ends up reading the mind of a charasmatic, good-looking guy in his office and discovers that he is attracted to him. So many adorable moments ensue, a ton of over-thinking and awkwardness, but also super sweet, swoony moments, too. I feel like this will speak to any of us who overthink every little thing when we are falling for someone. Especially when it is unexpected.

Thank you, De’Siree for this gift, it was like you gifted me a piece of yourself because I know how much you love these stories. Lovelovelovelovelove.

Rafe by Rebekah Weatherspoon

3 Stars

This is a cute romance between a buff, tattooed nanny who begins working for a savant young surgeon and mother of two girls.

This book was fine, though I didn’t see anything special about it. Maybe I gave in a little to the hype surrounding it and that was the issue, but mostly the romance was just ok. I felt like it was a little rushed, I wished there was more pining and more of a forbidden aspect to this, but it seemed like they both gave in pretty quickly.

Loving Mr. Daniels by Brittany C Cherry

5 stars

This was a super angsty, emotional story about a girl and a guy who are both dealing with terrible tragedy and find solace in each other. The first night they meet is filled with unbelievable chemistry, it’s almost too good to be true.

And it turns out to be. Because it turns out he is her high school teacher.

The heroine was held back in school because of a medical condition, so she is 19 years old and a senior. He is a young teacher, in his early twenties, so the age gap isn’t really a thing, but it doesn’t make it any less forbidden.

When they realize the situation, it’s heartbreaking because of how intense their first meeting was. A series of super angsty things happen and it’s all very intense, but in the best epic love kind of way.

I was rooting for this couple the entire time, but not only that, I loved the heroine’s relationship with her step siblings even with all that drama.

All American Boys by Jason Reynolds

5 Stars

This is a super relevant fictional story that is somewhat reminiscent of The Hating Game.

This is about a boy in the ROTC in high school who is falsely accused of stealing by a racist, hateful police officer who ends up beating him until he is unconscious which stirs protests in his town that is sick of this constantly happening.

Sound familiar?

What’s interesting about this story is how it follows the perspective both of the victim and a white boy that goes to his school who is linked to the police officer.

I was completely invested in this story, while also cautious. I was super curious about how this book would end. Would it be far too optimistic or would it be realistic?

When I finally came to the end, I very much appreciated it. It was hopeful without being naive. It left questions that we still need answers to, but it didn’t feel too unresolved that it leaves you unsettled. I almost took it as… let’s let current events tell us how this story is going to end.

The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang

5 Stars

I read this sweet, heartwarming graphic novel with my girls. They adored it from the very first night we read it before bed.

This story is about a prince who likes to wear dresses and hires, in secret, a dressmaker to make him custom dresses.

I didn’t tell them what it was about, I wanted them to discover it on their own and ask questions as they came up.

Books are an essential parenting tool for me.

The girls begged me every night to keep going. They loved the characters in this book and they were excited to see what was going to happen.

This entire book, but especially the ending was so adorable. I absolutely loved it and can’t wait to read more from this author. Especially if I can share the experience with my girls.

Addicted series books 1 & 1.5 by Krista and Becca Ritchie

5 stars and 4 stars

A lot of my friends have read and loved this series, between that and the premise, I’ve been super excited to read it.

This is about a woman who is a sex addict and her best friend she’s in a fake relationship with who is an alcoholic.

This is a super angsty, dark, gritty series so far with such a strong romance. These are extremely troubled characters who are using their relationship and each other to hide their addictions.

I found this book, ironically enough, addicting to read and I can’t wait to read on in the series.

The second book did seem to drag on a bit, I feel like it could’ve been half as long as it was, but I know it was necessary.

Take a Hint Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert

5 Stars

I am absolutely LOVING these Brown sisters books! Chloe’s book was fantastic, but I think this one might be my favorite so far.⁣

⁣

Dani is a smart, independent savvy woman who is not interested in a long term relationship. Zaf is basically the complete opposite.⁣

⁣

The two of them have not had much more than a nice rapport – he’s the security guard at the school she teaches at, until Dani gets trapped in an elevator and Zaf rescues her. This wouldn’t be a big deal if the entire rescue didn’t get caught on film and go viral.⁣

⁣

The “going viral” thing seems to be really popular lately and it’s not normally something I would gravitate towed. Honestly, I tend to prefer if romance novels just pretend that social media didn’t exist. I think it’s tricky including anything involving technology in contemporary romance novels only because things change so rapidly, it’s easy to become outdated.⁣

⁣

However, I didn’t care what this book was about, I knew I was going to read it and fully expected to love it … and I was right.⁣

⁣

As always, Talia’s steamy scenes are SO on point, but more than anything, she writes sweet heroes SO well. I adored Zaf with everything I am. I can’t handle how much I love his side job and that despite being a big guy, he’s a big softie. ⁣

⁣

And, of course, I adored Dani. I love how badass and confident and independent she is, even if it does complicate her relationships.⁣

Becoming by Michelle Obama

5 Stars

I borrowed this on a whim from my library. I’ve been reading a few nonfiction books lately and have enjoyed all that I’ve picked up.⁣

⁣

I have to admit, though, I loved this one the most.⁣

⁣

I didn’t realize Michelle’s father had MS. As soon as she mentioned his symptoms, my stomach dropped and I just KNEW it. It’s always hard for me to read about people who have Multiple Sclerosis, especially nonfiction because I’m always wondering if that will be me and when.⁣⁣

⁣

As a romance reader, I adored Michelle and Obama’s romance. I officially ship them SO hard. Watching their relationship unfold was so satisfying and adorable.⁣

⁣

I’m not a big crier while reading, but I got choked up so many times. When she talked about visiting the VA, when she talked about Sandy Hook… it wasn’t overly dramatic, but it was enough to have me covering my mouth with my hand trying not to cry.⁣

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I’ve always admired this woman, but even more now than I did before learning more about her. ⁣

  Recent Reads: June 14-27 I read a total of 14 books between June 14 & June 27 and there were so many great ones!

#recent reads

[academla]

Summer 2017 Update

Hey guys! Finally, another big update post. If you haven’t read these before, I split it into sections: Academic, Financial/Professional, Social, Mental Health, and anything else I feel like. Feel free to skim! (Give this a like if you’re actually reading it because I feel like most people ignore these update posts, which is fine, I’m just curious haha.)

Academic

I go back to school on September 5. I’m super excited, but I think my underlying anxiety has been affecting me a bit.

Classes I’m taking on campus: Classics of Children’s Literature, Abnormal Psychology, and Ethics & Society (an Honors seminar).

Classes I’m taking online: History of World Civilizations Before 1500 & Child Psychology.

Here are some comments on each class so far (I’m nothing if not thorough, guys):

Children’s Lit: Well, Harry Potter is on the reading list, so I’m already there. I’ve emailed the professor already and she seems super nice, so I’m pretty excited. The syllabus is a bit intimidating; I’m sure it will be fine, though, and having a nice professor makes a huge difference.

Abnormal Psych: I’m going to have the same prof as I did for Intro, and I’m really pumped about that (so is she). I’m nervous because the tests are harder and longer, but she was very reassuring that I’ll be fine. There was a whole issue because I thought that Abnormal had service learning linked to it (service learning is basically where you get experience doing things related to the course, so essentially volunteer/internship work) and was planning to use an internship that has been in the works since the winter for that. However, turns out that it isn’t linked. My prof was super nice and said she would be flexible. I emailed my adviser in a bit of a panic, and she informed me that actually service learning is no longer a requirement of my major. So, I’m going to go ahead and do the internship for my resume, but not have to worry about the assignments and grade aspect.

Ethics & Society: I don’t know anything about this really, but I do know that the professor is well-liked and I’ve seen him a few times.

History: Okay, so I hate history. I’m quite well-rounded as a student and I know that I’m lucky that most classes, I do very well in and enjoy. But history just... I don’t even know. My history teachers in the past have all thought I was really good, and I was grade-wise; I simply didn’t enjoy it. So to make this bearable, I know I need to have a professor I like. I was going to take it on campus, and emailed briefly with the professor I was going to have, but he had bad RateMyProfessors ratings and struck me as not very personable or understanding or nice. I checked about online courses and saw that there is one being taught by the director of the Honors College that I’m in, whom I really like and has a great reputation and ratings. Unfortunately there is a $125 fee associated with online courses that I wasn’t aware of, but cost-benefit wise, I really think I’ll be happiest like this.

Child Psych: Oh GOD. Why am I so extra? I emailed the prof once and she was super nice. Then I replied, and since online courses are different from real-life ones in that you don’t really get that ‘getting-to-know-you’ vibe with professors because it’s so remote, I mentioned that I can be an anxious student. I just said basically that means sometimes I’ll ask a lot of questions or check and double-check things for reassurance. I also asked if she was a professor willing to look at drafts or not. She completely got the wrong impression and sent back an email (that was quite final too; signed it “All the best”) as though I had been a hysterical student coming to her with anxiety that I had no idea how to handle. She told me that there are personal counseling services offered by the college as well as the writing center with writing tutors. I’ve had outside counseling for 7 years, and I’m a writing tutor... so that was ironic and also a little embarrassing. Whoops. Honestly, when I get embarrassed about things like that (which I often do) I kind of remind myself that I’m just there to learn and hopefully earn that A, so what they think of me doesn’t matter that much.

All and all, I’m excited for school to start. I want to learn things and take notes and have stuff to do. I also have waves of anxiety, which I’m working very hard to combat with reality checks and focusing on the positives. Oh, and I got an A somehow on my chem accelerated summer course :)

Financial

I have worked two jobs this summer after a lot of miscommunication and lack of clarity:

A preschool, the same one I worked at during my gap year. It was unfortunate because I thought I was going to work full-time there after my chem course, but they didn’t need me because they had so much help. I ended up working Thursdays and Fridays there and Monday through Wednesday at my dad’s job. Now that all the summer help is leaving, though, they’re back to being in desperate need. Everyone there is pretty stressed (and families have been leaving).

At the place my dad works. They produce food and formula for people with metabolic disorders (primarily PKU). I was extremely appreciated there, which was nice, and I got a $4 raise on my second week! They’re desperately understaffed and having problems with their products, as well as not being able to keep up with general demand. I electronically filed faxes dating back to 2016, stuffed envelopes (my favorite), put in tons of orders (one day I put in 34 out of a total 62 orders that day), and by the end was allowed to check emails and reply to some of them. I LOVED the job. However, there’s the possibility I might be able to work there on Fridays during the school year, which I would love. It’s stressful there because there’s so much shit going on and people are basically running around putting out fires all day, but I enjoy my work so much.

During the year, I’m hoping to work at my dad’s job on Fridays, do my psychology internship (if you don’t recall, I’m going to be working at a VA hospital helping with a study on suicide prevention), and tutor! I’m a math and writing tutor. They’re two completely different trainings and types of tutoring, so it should be interesting. Luckily we get to shadow a writing tutor for awhile before being on our own.

I’m not doing well with money, guys. The entire year of 2017, I’ve only made $300 or so. I’ve spent $1,800 on school, even with scholarships, and $940 on medical things such as medication and copays. I did win a $1,000 scholarship which has been very delayed in arriving and I’m praying it will get here by the end of this week or next week so it can be applied to my account. I didn’t work over winter break, which was really my downfall; I needed the time for a mental health break, though... so I’m trying not to beat myself up over it.

Unfortunately it took awhile too for me to lock down my jobs, meaning I only got to work for like 4 or 5 weeks. That really isn’t very much money even with the raise I got. Right now I’m owing $615 per month for my payment plan, and even with tutoring and potential Fridays at my dad’s job, I’m definitely going to lose money. I’m considering taking one winter class online, so I can still work all winter break. That $125 extra fee from my web class sure didn’t help me.

But I must soldier on! I’m going to make sure that none of my money ever goes to frivolous things and never goes to waste. Money is meant to be spent and not hoarded, as my mom reminds me, and it’s okay to spend some on things like going out every so often as well, so I shouldn’t be beating myself up for that (though I still am). School was always going to suck up money. I’m trying very very hard to stay in the moment now and not stress about next semester or worse, what will happen when I get hit with that $30k bill when I transfer and don’t have even close to that much saved.

Social

I’ve changed several times throughout my life socially. In 9th grade, I was extremely social because I needed to be and I had trouble being by myself. It was a lot like that through high school. When I made online friends in 11th grade, they were my social life while drama and bullying and shit went on in real life. Recently, I had a major burst in socialness online, and eventually reached breaking point when I became embroiled in drama.

Look, I’m 20 years old. I’m turning 21 in November. I had to ask myself, why the fuck am I on vacation with family, working on scholarship essays last-minute, and spending my time in the bathroom on my phone dealing with drama with someone years and years younger who’s slandering me to people whose opinions I shouldn’t give two shits about?

That was a big reality check. Because I wanted vengeance, I did. I wanted so badly to expose someone who was gleaning attention and convincing others and spreading half-truths and ruining people’s lives. But then I realized, you know what? That isn’t my goal in life. My goal in life isn’t to tear people down because they’ve torn others down. It’s so, so difficult. I was angry. I was upset. This person violated all of my principles. And we had the evidence against them, we could have potentially won most people over, and I wanted it not for my sake but for the sake of those they had hurt so much more than they hurt me.

But I couldn’t do it. In the end, I called it off. I backed out. I told people to lay off and let karma do its work. I realized how toxic the situation was, how absurd it was for me to be living on the internet when I’m in one of the most exciting periods of my life. How utterly imbecilic I was acting, getting caught up in so much senseless, meaningless, fruitless drama.

After that, I disengaged further from large social groups. I was already overwhelmed by the amount of people always trying to talk to me, so I had to cut myself off from that. And it feels so. Much. Better.

I’ve become more introverted, really. I work all day, then I write fanfiction and watch Netflix and color in my room by myself and I love it. I have any number of people I could hit up anytime and ask to hang out or video chat. But I don’t feel that push, that obsessive need, to be social all the time. Social media became addicting. I still work on that.

I’ve stayed in touch with real-life friends and done things with them when I had the energy, money, and time. Unfortunately my ex and then long-time guy friend both asked me out, and that was incredibly awkward, and the end of that. The trouble with my school is that there are a lot of dual enrollment students who are like, 16 or 17. Much as I love them, I’ve been thirsting for someone my own age with similar interests who I can hang out with. At the tutoring training I attended, I met someone (a guy, oooh). He’s 21 and we had a really good time together. I’m hoping we can hang out once the semester starts! I also met a girl who’s only 17, but she seems very mature and sweet and I also hope to hang out with her.

Things are good socially. I’m always working on that area of my life (with regards to mental health, mostly) but I’m still going strong. I have moments of loneliness for sure. However, I’m happy with myself and happy with my life. That’s what counts.

Mental health

If 10 is completely flawless and 0 is utter breakdown and 5 is rough, I would say my summer has been a solid 7 or 8. Which is pretty damn good!

Areas I’m working on still:

Body image. My ED voice has been loud this summer. That’s probably the area of most concern to me.

Anxiety. It hasn’t been too bad, but with transitions it usually increases, and I’ve noticed myself being more anxious (free-floating anxiety mostly) and irritable in the past few days.

Worrying way too much about others’ opinions. This pretty much traces to the internet. I mean, before I went on hiatus, I had tens of thousands of people criticizing my every word and move. That takes a toll. Moreover, as a fanfic writer, it’s pretty difficult to post things to the internet without craving comments and kudos and hits. I’ve turned off viewing hits for my own sanity, and taken breathers when I felt like I was getting too hung up on the ‘popularity’ of my fics. I write for myself, because I enjoy it. Not for the attention. I just have to remind myself of that from time to time, and I try not to be competitive. It’s really the numbers that get me - the hits and the kudos. I mean, I compare myself to people in different fandoms, fandoms I don’t even write for. It’s so dumb.

All in all, I’m proud of how I’ve been doing. I do have moments of stress mainly about money, but that’s par for the course. I would say I’ve made a 100% improvement from last summer/year and intend to continue doing so, even in light of the impending stressors.

Other

My new favorite movie is Gifted. Oh my god, I love it so much. I’ve seen it like, 5 times (2 of those were illegally whoops). I’ve been fairly active on Snapchat still - add me there edye327. I don’t really have much else to say, except thank you to people who have bought me things from my wishlist that I couldn’t otherwise afford. I haven’t gotten anything recently, but I just wanted to reiterate my appreciation.

If you’ve read this all the way through, reply with the color of your favorite shirt.

Much love,

Edye

#academlets #academla blogs #update #2017 #back to school

[flatstarcarcosa]

All of the domestic questions for you and slade I need that sweet sweet reese/slade content go absolutely ham answering too - therailwayarms

@therailwayarms

1.) Who does more chores? Does the other help out more often than not? Is there a schedule of who does what, or assigned chores everyone’s okay with doing.

I want to say it tends to be pretty even but really I think Slade does a bit more because there are just times where I can’t even get out of bed, and someone has to take the trash out

2.) What type of dream house would everyone want to live in? Is it a huge house with an elevator inside the house and a large pool with tropical trees all around? A large home fit for just the couple with all the things you want? A cozy cottage in the middle of nowhere?

honestly, we’re fine with pretty much anything that isn’t a studio. we did some renovations to the vermont house after i’d been there a couple of years but it was mostly stuff that should’ve been done ten or 12 years previously regardless. 

3.) Who likes to cook/bake? Are they any good at it? Do they experiment with cooking a lot or do they try and stick to the recipe? Do they switch it up if they know their s/o won’t like it? (I’m not adding that much spice, s/o doesn’t like spicy/ it’s not enough spice for them!)

we both like to eat, i don’t like having to cook, slade doesn’t like eating out all the time. i have about half a dozen things i can cook, and i do them well, but that’s it. 

4.) How is visiting the in-laws like? Are they polite and pretty much strangers or are they super close with each other parents and always have a good time? Do they even know their in-laws?

slade has a very tenuous relationship with my mom that only exists at all because he’s willing to be the much needed buffer between me and her. while i still walk on eggshells and probably always will, he just casually stomps. 

and the one time me and slade were around my father, sister, and brother in law it ended up being a fist fight, so. 

(i may have started said fight.) 

5.) Shopping. Who likes going and grazes through the aisles, and who just wants to get it over with? Does anyone write a list on paper or forget it, or does one of them digitally keep track of everything they buy and need? Is there any PDA?

most of the time i like to be quick and get in and out when grocery shopping. if we’re not grocery shopping and we’re just chilling then i go a lot slower to look at things. 

also i think the most PDA we ever had was the time we were buying condoms at target and took 15 minutes trying to find them only to discover that for some reason, target keeps the fucking condoms next to the fucking incontinence products, and i loudly proclaimed the aisle was one stop shopping for him. 

6.) Social lives. Who’s more of the extrovert - goes to excursions with friends often, is invited places, and is generally well liked? Who’s the introvert - comforted at home, dislikes going places, nobody really has any idea who they are? Does one bring them out of their comfort zone and gladly introduce them as their partner, or are you both too social for that or both hermits?

slade likes doing things. he doesn’t so much like interacting with people, but he likes being around people, if that makes sense. i, on the other hand, am content to never leave the house ever if i was allowed, but apparently thats ‘depression’ and ‘bad’.

7.) How well do they know each other? Can they just go to the mall and think ‘Oh, they’d love this hoodie because (x)!’ and buy it? Do they know their boundaries and insecurities? Do they know how to comfort each other?

slade sometimes still confuses me. his emotional ineptity runs deep enough that there’s no coming back from it, but i still know more than pretty much everyone else, save for bill. 

once he got the full picture of my present and past, slade’s really good at reading me. he also does what i call ‘casual engagement’, which means he may not be fully invested in the same things i am, but he knows enough to be involved. 

he doesn’t really play video games, and he couldn’t tell you about the minor details of mass effect but he’s been around me playing it enough to know which of my shepard’s are my favorites. 

he doesn’t like wrestling that much but he’s watched enough of it with me and listened to me talk about it enough that he knew exactly which events to get tickets for, rather than just spitballing it and assuming “uhhhh bitches like wrestlemania right?” 

(he did take me to ‘mania but it was more of a ‘why the hell not’ than ‘reese is dying to do this’.)

8.) Is sleeping an issue for anyone? Is one constantly awake at night to the point where they may need to take medication, or are they so sleepy it’s a genuine concern that they won’t get to work or school on time? Does their partner know how to work around / help them with their issues?

my bladder and chronic pain give me mega insomnia. it’s one of the reasons why we actually have separate bedrooms, there’s times where i feel bad about being restless. my insomnia leads to me having a lot of periods of being exhausted i literally can’t stay awake sometimes. 

also, slade has a specially designed sedative/tranquilizer for me during the times my insomnia and bladder are so bad. i don’t know what’s in it, but he had tanya cook it up during defiance when i had a bad two weeks. whatever is in it makes my bladder stop long enough for me to be comfortable along with making me sleep. 

slade can be a light sleeper, and he usually sleeps his heaviest when he’s gotten really beaten up on a job. people think it’s so kewl he heals but they don’t realize it takes energy. 

9.) Who’s more affectionate and full of compliments? Is it because they just love showering loved ones in praise, or is it because they know their partner’s insecure and always make it a point to tell them they look flawless in those stained sweats and a comfy hoodie?

he knows not to like, randomly compliment me with nothing prompting it because i just, have trouble responding and taking it. so he’s not going to randomly be like “wow you’re perfect” when i’m feeling shitty because i’m sick, but if i’m actively engaging him in stuff he will, ex, i’m asking his opinion on my writing or comedy or something. 

10.) Who drives more? Is one of them a designated driver, or do they both share that responsibility? Is one uncomfortable with driving at night, so the other has to do it?

i do! i love driving, even when shit happens. slade can drive, but he’s uneasy when he does because of his blind spot. it’s not a huge thing, but it’s enough that he doesn’t care if he’s not driving. 

he takes over night driving though when my night blindness starts getting really bad.

11.) How protective are they over each other? Are they the unnecessarily anxious type, easily jealous, or totally fine with letting their partner live their life? Does it sometimes frustrate the other if they are so smothering?

slade’s overprotective. sometimes when he doesn’t need to be. i get defensive on his behalf sometimes w adeline and/or the kids if i feel like they’re being disproportionately mean. 

12.) What holidays do they celebrate? How do they celebrate? Any traditions (holiday related or not) do they share?

we go to festivals and fireworks shows for like, new years, but for a long time i didn’t want to celebrate holidays. 

i still don’t actually celebrate my birthday. 

13.) Do they like to do cheesy sleepover stuff together, like face masks or painting each other’s nails? By now, I’d assume most ships (selfship or not) are pretty comfortable with each other, so do they often help each other with shaving/showering/just walk into the bathroom while they’re trying to take care of their hygiene?

slade’s always a slut for bath bombs, even if he says he’s not. 

14.) How do they spend their free time? Watching movies and cuddling up on a romantic Sunday night, or is it more of a watch one of them play a horror game and feed them snacks as they go along type of night? Is it a mix of both sometimes?

it varies! it also depends on my health, which is unpredictable. 

15.) How often does one of them get the urge to just hug and smooch the other? What’s their go-to compliment? What’s their favourite cuddle position? What’s their favourite underwear? Who plays with the other’s hair the most?

slade has this thing whenever we’re sitting together where he likes to a hand on my waist or my thigh, and i enjoy being tucked in against his side. 

#long post #ship: wilson & wilson at large #this is late and messy rip #Anonymous #*asks

[distant-rose-archive-blog]

I just wanted you to know that I just read all of the Little Pirates series this weekend and I am so, so, so in love with your Jones children. They feel like real honest to god kids with actual personalities rather than carbon copies of their parents. Beth is a riot and I'm trash for her and Killian's relationship. I have a few questions for you though. 1. How did you come up with the characters of Harrison, Wes, Beth and Neddy? They're amazing but they don't feel like Sues. (1/?)

I feel like that’s always a challenge in fanfiction writing with original characters. 2. Are you ever going to write a multi-chapter story for the kids or just continue just writing snippets of their lives as you are now? Because I would honest read the heck out of anything story you write for them. No pressure! 3. How many Little Pirates one-shots do you plan on writing and are you willing to write anything for Captain Swan that isn’t a part of the series? (2/3) Regardless of your answer, I will always read whatever you write. 4. You reblog a lot of Captain Swan stuff, which I appreciate, but are you going to watch Season Seven and do you think Season Seven will affect the Little Pirates series especially if it’s revealed that Killian and Emma have a child in the canon? You’ve kinda been quiet on that. (3/3)

As I have not updated all weekend since I was in my cousin’s wedding, I wasn’t expecting anything in my inbox this morning. I was pleasantly surprised and a bit overwhelmed when I checked into my tumblr this morning while I was having my coffee. I’m a wee bit hungover from yesterday.

I’m glad you like Little Pirates. I personally love writing the Killian-Beth dynamic as well since a lot of it is based upon my relationship with my own father. So, I love writing them. I love writing them all really, hence why I do it in the first place. 

I honestly feel like I’m being interviewed with the amount of questions you have, which I’m both flattered and overwhelmed by. I will try to answer them as best as I can. I apologize for the really long-winded answers, which is why I’m putting a “read more” here because it’s just a bloody essay.

1. It’s kinda hard to describe my character development/creation, but I’m generally struck with ideas of personalities while I’m doing something and I work from there. Beth came to me first. I just thought of someone who was super cheeky, super blunt and incredibly impulsive. Wes came to me originally as a rebel without a cause kind of guy who loves music more than people (this is still true) and Harrison was always just this haggard older sibling who feels the need to protect and keep the younger ones out of trouble, which ages him like a few good years. Neddy was late to the game. He was originally this quiet imp, but over time, he’s become much more thoughtful and sweet, but very secretive because he never wants to upset anyone. He’s aware he’s babied and wishes they would just stop. 

My key to making them not Sue-ish, I guess, is the fact I don’t view them as anyone I would want to be. I make them fuck up. A lot. They’re people I understand, but I don’t want to be them or really hang out with them. I gave a lot of them my own faults. 

Both Beth and Wes are inherently selfish and impulsive people who have absolutely no respect for authority or anyone really. They’ve not really sensitive to the feelings of others at all. They think it’s more important to spit the truth than consider how someone would feel about it. So you have three serious character faults right there. On top of that, neither of them are really in touch or want to talk about their own feelings. They would rather hide behind sarcasm and wit, then have a serious conversation about emotions.

Beth and Wes are also manipulative, though Beth more so than Wes. She’s so in habit of manipulating people that sometimes she doesn’t recognize when she does it, which will be explored later on. She’s manipulative, a skilled liar (something she shares with Ned) and on top of that, she’s very spiteful. She does a lot of things out of spite and anger without thinking about the long term. She has an entire serious relationship when she’s older out of spite due to the man she loves telling her that he doesn’t want to be with her. It’s a very shitty thing on her part. She took someone’s emotions for a ride because she wanted to make someone jealous. It’s not cool, but people do that. She’s human and flawed.

Wes is entire another bag of issues. I’m not sure if it’s been translating well, but he’s like a borderline sociopath at times. Wes is very charismatic, people are drawn to him, but he’s not really drawn to people. He could survive without people rather easily. He would miss certain people, but he could do without. He likes company, but doesn’t crave or need it. He’s very much lone wolf out of the four. He also has zero respect for authority and boundaries and has no issues breaking them for himself or the people he cares about which is a very short li- it’s basically just his siblings, Gideon and Bobbi. I haven’t talked about magic much, but Wes is obsessed with magic and sees his magic as an extension of himself. He would struggle picking between magic and people, which I personally am horrified by. He’s a bit Rumple-like when it comes to magic since he’s something he’s naturally good at. A lot of this stems from his competitive nature and jealousy. If you haven’t noticed, which you might have not because I haven’t necessarily pointed it out but I have tried to write it as a background issue, but there’s a lot of tension between Harrison and Wes. They snip a lot, because Wes is extremely jealous of Harrison and the perceived favoritism towards Harrison. He sees Harrison as the “golden son” and as someone to compete with. Harrison has no talent whatsoever in magic while Wes does, it’s something where he is just better than his brother at. 

Harrison and Ned are more on the introverted side. They’ve both more reserved and quiet. Harrison is more quiet out of social anxiety. A lot of that stems from expectations put on him when he was very young, not necessarily by his parents but by the community. His looks, which are very similar to Killian’s, have made really made a lot of people expect him to be like his father. They see him as a min-Killian, he’s just not. Harrison knows he’s not capable of that, which is natural since he’s his own person. He doesn’t feel he has his own autonomy and it really stresses him out. He doesn’t want to be either of his parents, he just wants to be himself but that’s not what people want so he’s just internally a mess. He has a very negative self-image and zero confidence - it doesn’t help that Wes constantly derides him. He also has anxiety because he feels the need to protect his siblings who are more outgoing and wild than he is. Killian subconsciously has conditioned Harrison to constantly feel the need to protect them like Liam protected Killian. So, more often than not, Harrison is put into very uncomfortable situations in order to help out the other three who constantly blunder into horrible situations because they have zero impulse control and are more extroverted than he is. He gets like gray hairs in his twenties from the stress of them. On top of that, Harrison is a bit on the righteous side - very David-like. His moral code is a bit black and white, which kinda leads him disapproving of a lot of the shenanigans that go on around him. There’s a reason, he’s on medication for anxiety. Some of it is family, but a lot of it is self-imposed.

Ned…this child. He’s new and I’m still working on him, but he’s very much babied and constantly shielded by everyone and he’s aware of it. He’s annoyed by it, which has led to him being very sneaky, secretive, cunning and a very gifted liar. He loves his family, but often views them as obstacles to his own fun and experiences so he lies A LOT to keep them for catching on, disapproving or freaking out about what he’s doing. Like he’s really young in the series so far, but when he’s older, like every other thing he says to his family is a lie. Like he’s very into baseball, which causes some strain with Killian because of his disability and Ned just hides the fact he’s playing baseball up until like high school. Just would say he’s over a friends’ house whenever he had a game. He fixes his report cards so his parents don’t stop him from having fun. That sort of nonsense. It just leads to so many issues. On top of that, he really resents the age differences between him and his siblings and basically tries to grow up too fast at times. Like he gets a tattoo at sixteen to match the one that the older three have. He makes so many horrible mistakes in high school in regards to partying, girls, drinking and sports that he’s kinda “been there, done that” by college and really is just the responsible one out of his baseball team and is more focused on baseball, his grades and writing than having fun. Which of course leads to him being kinda estranged from his team who hasn’t gotten to his level yet. He’s like a geek-jock in college with like only three friends.

Long story short: FLAWS. FLAWS ARE FUCKING IMPORTANT. Flaws make the characters, which is why sometimes hard to relate to characters like Superman. Sues are boring. Perfection is dull. 

2. Am I ever going to write multiple chapters on the Little Pirates? Maybe, but not likely. I have a ton of story arcs that I could write multi-chapters on but I don’t think I have a big enough audience to really write those. I mean older!Jones children have really colorful lives - Beth ends up a fucking realm jumping pirate in her own right, Harrison has an adventure in Agrabah and overcomes a lot of his anxiety before he replaces Emma as the Sheriff of Storybrooke, Wes has a lot of adventures involving magic with Gideon and Bobbi and Ned finds his own fairytale adventures while in college. I love these stories and I could write them, but they feature very little of the original cast which I don’t think a lot of people are interested in them. However, I am planning a Henry centric Labyrinth crossover fic which does have infant!Harrison (babe with the power) in it, which could count as a part of Little Pirates, but will mainly be stand-alone.

3. I think I’ve said this before, but I have no idea how many one-shots I’m going to write for Little Pirates. I have no end number in mind. Though I do know I have at least ten ideas in the works that are a mix of requests, original ideas and semi-requests. I just made a queue bar so people can see where their requests/prompts are in my lineup. As for non-Little Pirate related material, I’ve thought about it. I’ve really wanted to write a Top AU-Captain Swan/Captain Charming fic where Killian is Maverick, Emma is Charlie, Liam is Goose and David is Iceman. I’ve been doing research for it and I’ve found that like 60% of Top Gun is like actually impossible so I’m trying to make a more realistic plot line and it’s just been nutty research-wise. I’ve also been thinking about doing a Henry centric summer league t-ball story that’s about Henry figuring his life out post-college with a romance plot line with Ava Zimmer, but that could be considered a part of LP because it would feature Wes and Harrison. I’m like incapable of writing anything but domestic Captain Swan it seems. I suck and like my own characters too much. So, needless to say I’m trying, but failing fucking miserably. Too many ideas, not enough time to research and write them. 

4. I’m little confused on this last question. I haven’t said anything about OUAT season seven…at all. I haven’t been quiet at all. The reality is that I haven’t said a word. There’s a reason for that. While I plan on watching season seven because I adore Colin O’Donoghue and Hook…I’m just not excited. I love Captain Swan and I really don’t trust A+E to do this season right without Jennifer Morrison. I’m just not really invested in it, but I am curious what they’re going to do. After reading all the D23 stuff over this weekend despite being at my cousin’s wedding, I’m like 60% convinced there is a canon Captain Swan spawn, which could be interesting but I’m not like over the moon about it. I could live with or without it. I’m kinda “meh.”

I’m not sure how or why OUAT season seven would effect Little Pirates in any shape or form. I think I’ve made it clear that it’s a canon divergence post-season six. Everything that happened between seasons one to six is canon, but season seven has absolutely no baring on my universe at all. It would be insane to try and incorporate season seven stuff into my universe which is like 85% fully formed. I intend to view season seven as an alternate reality to mine. Like in comic terms, the season seven is Earth-1 and Little Pirates is like Earth-16. LOL.

Unless you’re asking if I’m going to stop writing Little Pirates because season seven would make it not-canon, which, the answer to that is no way in hell am I going to stop writing just because my universe isn’t canon. Captain Swan is one of the very few OTPs that I have that IS canon. Canon disagreements don’t bother me. I’m happy to live in my own little universe while the canon goes in an entirely different direction. So, I’m not bothered. I assume I will get less readers because of season seven, but whatever. Eh. 

Apologies for the novel length response, but you did ask a lot of questions. I hope I answered them to your satisfaction.

#asks #answered #rose speaks #anon #little pirates #little pirates meta #ouat #ouat speculation #ahhhhhh #sorry it's so long

[fountainpenguin]

I like "The Fairly OddParents" and "Danny Phantom" for their potential for angst. In the former, you have Timmy's miserable life, Vicky's potentially traumatic childhood and Timmy's despair at the fact that Cosmo and Wanda must leave him eventually. In the latter, you have Danny risking his life, being horribly injured and fearing what his parents might do to him if they knew what he really was. Just out of interest, where's the potential for angst in "Bunsen is a Beast"?

Oh my gosh, you’ve got my heart racing. Where do I even start?

I guess we start with our title character. We all know how Butch loves the fantastic racism trope (which is one thing I love about his work so much- his use of these things as serious worldbuilding details, and not merely as “one and done” plot points), and it’s a huge part of Fairy and Anti-Fairy culture. 

Fantastic racism is a thing in BIaB too. Here you’ve got this little Beast boy who speaks and reads only limited English. Although he doesn’t have huge talons, he does have horns, a spiny tail, and a lot of scary-looking teeth. As soon as he steps out of his car and starts towards the school, he is hounded by news crews:

He manages to shake them off and head inside, but as she’s introducing him to the class, the teacher says, “I hope this whole co-mingling thing works out, because if not, man and beast will be in a struggle for dominance until one side drives the other into extinction.”

Aw, snap! So you have this show about this twelve-year-old kid with the weight of two species resting on his shoulders. And he knows. That’s what I love here- he knows. Instantly when Miss Flap reminds him of this, Bunsen deflates from his happy mood (Bonus: As you continue through the series, it becomes more obvious that his natural personality is to be reserved rather than social, and that he’s way outside his comfort zone here in trying to make a good first impression and win over new friends).

There’s just so much here that’s interesting! Bunsen is clearly very aware that if he proves Beasts can successfully integrate into human society, it means a better life for his people. But if he screws up badly enough, he might have to watch his family and friends be slaughtered, on top of fearing for his own life. And if he screws up the other way, he might see humans killed as his people revolt and take over.

Now, obviously, with the fate of these races resting on him, so many politics can be dragged into this. It’s my headcanon that after petitioning for years, Beasts were finally given the okay to allow a single Beast to attend a school in a very small human town, as a test. Now, who are they going to pick? Bunsen is very fluffy and cute, so he’s a good candidate to promote the idea that Beasts aren’t dangerous and should be granted rights. Although his English is still stilted and he can read only a very small amount of it at this point, he knows enough to be verbally fluent.

So the question is, how long ago did they decide to send HIM? Has he been groomed for this position his entire life? Just think of all that pressure, those years of studying, that fear of failure drilled into his entire being since he was a kid… And that’s not even bringing up the question of whether this fight to get Beasts a human education has been going on for decades, and if he was specifically bred for his cuteness and gentle disposition. And, what if he didn’t want to be “the chosen one” in the first place? Delicious inner turmoil.

Really, it’s a show about a minority constantly struggling with thoughts of, “Should I leave all my culture behind and embrace a new one?” and “But my culture is a huge part of my identity and I don’t want to lose it.” And he shouldn’t have to lose it. So, he’s working to find a balance that makes him feel good about himself, while dealing with his fears that humans are going to look down on or even hate him for it.

If anyone was wondering, I personally feel that if Bunsen were human, his ethnicity would be one of mixed Asian origins. If I’m remembering correctly, it’s a stereotype that Chinese people are good at ping-pong, and he has a relative (possibly his mom’s brother b/c octopus tentacles) who is a ping-pong master. 

That, and it looks like he has a large extended family staying in Muckledunk with him, suggesting closer ties than I, your average white American girl, see in my own family, even though everyone on my dad’s side of the family lives in this area, and almost everyone on my mom’s side does too. Thus, the fact that he’s eating spaghetti with forks in the theme song is just kind of amusing to me. I wonder what kind of eating utensils exist in Beast society.

So, those are a few culture-related angst topics about Bunsen. Others are certainly the fact that he’s moved to a new place and has regular jitters about that, and that one of his classmates is constantly attempting to gather evidence that he’s a danger to society and should be cast out of the school and the town. Said classmate also has a rich and influential father, and it’s been made clear that some people will be unfair to Bunsen purely not to get on her father’s bad side.

And I forgot to mention all the hints that Bunsen is a pacifist (or at least that he dislikes confrontation), so his default reaction to having mean words thrown at him is to withdraw into himself and believe them.

Whether it’s because of his inborn personality or because of all the pressure resting on him, he never fights back physically, and rarely argues verbally. The closest he gets is the occasional sassy comment. Although he’s more relaxed when alone with Mikey, Bunsen seems to have somewhat low self-esteem.

Perhaps because he’s an introvert, Bunsen is very perceptive. I might argue that he picks up on subtleties better than Mikey does- so if your words or body language suggest that you don’t like him, he will know. Mikey was willing to ignore Jerry’s emotional instability in “Mikey Is a Beast” because he saw Jerry as his hero, but Bunsen picked up on it and was very nervous at the thought of hanging around him. Throughout that episode, Bunsen continues making nervous faces even when the main focus of the scene isn’t on him- such as when Jerry shouted for Mikey to stop crying over Bunsen’s head:

I greatly appreciate whoever includes these things in the storyboards! These characters are just constantly in character even in the background.

Ooh, then there’s the piece of his character that solidifies Bunsen as a lawful neutral- his utter devotion to following rules, even when he doesn’t like them (For example, wanting to touch things in the museum, but restraining himself when he sees ‘Do not touch’ signs). He’s extremely committed to a set of values known as the Beast Code. This code outlines good etiquette such as “Beasts are always polite”, but sometimes it pins Bunsen into corners.

For example, in “Handsome Beast”, Amanda asked Bunsen out to the girls’ choice dance. Even though he dislikes her, it’s apparently “against the Beast Code to decline an invitation”, so Bunsen was thoroughly convinced that he has to not only go to the dance, but “follow the rigid steps of the Beast wooing procedure” too. He feels more stressed out by the thought of disobeying the Code than by the action of taking someone he doesn’t like on a date.

Beasts appear to have super unstable genetics, because when they have allergic reactions, they take on characteristics of the thing that upset their body systems. Here, Bunsen evidently had a reaction to the body spray Mikey was using in the hopes of attracting girls. He’s also confirmed to be allergic to bee stings and Swiss fondue.

Let’s see, what else… Bunsen obviously has a very close and understanding relationship with his parents, considering that even after everything their whole family sacrificed to move to Muckledunk - stability, friendships, money, possibly years of special educational programs depending on how long ago he was selected as the Beasts’ representative - they were completely willing to move back to the underground Beast World after Bunsen confessed to them that he was terrified of thunder, and couldn’t handle the sound of it anymore.

(These nerds even have matching pictures of each other)

There’s a lot of angst potential there, because up and leaving Muckledunk like that could not have been an easy thing for his entire extended family to agree to do. Or an easy decision for Bunsen to even make and consider talking to them about. He’s Beast World’s champion. Their saving grace. As much as he hates thunder, I’m sure he felt absolutely awful to know he was disappointing his entire race. This is the only time thus far, I think, that he truly puts himself before thoughts of duty and honor. These showing and not telling details really drive home how terrified of thunder the poor guy is.

So, Bunsen! I could name a couple of shows about a kid with an animal (or Beast) friend, but of these friends, Bunsen is my favorite. Cartoons like this generally involve one character who doesn’t caremuch about consequences dragging the other into zany schemes. But this is a show about a kid who is honestly curious about the world, and has strong morals that keep him out of trouble. I’m huge on following rules myself, so having a show with characters who are aware that their actions have consequences (Bunsen moreso than Mikey) and who don’t intentionally bend the law means a lot to me.

From a writer’s perspective, Bunsen is a very well-balanced character: he’s very reactive, so he acts as a nice foil to active Mikey. However, he can be plenty active too, such as when he’s introducing Mikey to his home or talking about his culture and biology. And it’s not out of character for him to be this way. It’s all dependent on his comfort level in a particular situation; by default Bunsen is reserved, but he starts opening up and being more active as he gets to know you. He’s very, very balanced and well-written, I think.

Oh. Also, his best friend has a morbid sense of humor, and even cracks jokes about taxidermy when Bunsen sees his uncle on display at a museum.

And BOY HOWDY, we haven’t even gotten to Mikey yet!

I. Love. Mikey. In fact, he’s probably the character I relate to more than anyone in any show I’ve ever watched. I’ve heard that some people don’t like BIaB because Mikey is just “a boring, regular kid”, but I don’t know what show they’re watching, because I could go on and on about how cool this boy is. In fact, calling it now, the Mikey section of this post will likely be unfairly longer than Bunsen’s.

Where to start, where to start… Well, you wanted angst, so let’s start with this. Remember how in “Abra-Catastrophe”, we found out that until he was eight, Timmy’s parents used to obsess over and record every second of his day on video cameras? Mikey’s childhood resembles that a little bit… except it never stopped.

Mikey has helicopter parents in both senses of the word. They obviously love him, but thus far in the show, they have only interacted with him through this drone. I wouldn’t be surprised if never seeing them in person is a running gag in the series, the same way not revealing the names of Timmy’s parents is a gag in FOP. The implication here is that they’re out of town a lot- meaning that he’s been left at home to raise himself-

-surrounded by security cameras and microphones, of course. Major props to whoever designed Mikey’s yard and drew this storyboard, because I love how none of the characters ever call any attention to the cameras or anything. They’re just. There. Watching. Details like this make me happy.

Y’know, when you’ve got a SMALL TOWN CHILD whose parents install SECURITY SYSTEMS, you can’t help but wonder if said child has any problems disabling the security systems on any building in said small town. Problems physically, or morally. I wonder…

I’m really curious to know when his parents got this drone. Mikey hasn’t revealed anything about a babysitter. Did his parents start leaving him at home alone once they got it and could watch out for him? Or did they leave him home alone to fend for himself even before that? 

Mikey’s parents are very nice people - probably better than Timmy’s parents - but they’re not there in the way he needs emotionally. They try to compensate for this by stalking him with the drone whenever they can spare the time. The ability of the drone to find him is interesting too… Perhaps they track him using the location of his phone. Surely they wouldn’t actually GPS chip their child.

Children need safety (physical and emotional) for healthy development. Given the security cameras and the presumed reputation of his parents, we can assume he has the former. But violating his privacy “without probable cause” the way they do can be psychologically damaging and lead to trust issues. Especially because he’s asked his parents to stop, and they haven’t.

Previously, I’ve mentioned my theory that Mikey has an older sister, which would explain why he had the dress, sandals, ribbon, and make-up on hand (and might answer our question about who watched over Mikey pre-drone):

I think she might have disappointed their parents in some way (such as having a baby while an unmarried teen, or stealing money and the family car), and so she took off for the hills. I like this idea because it helps “justify” why Mikey’s parents are so obsessed with monitoring him. They don’t stalk him constantly, but when he gets older, I feel like he’ll have at least one parent on his case at almost all times while the other is installing security systems. One Munroe kid going sour is bad enough for their reputation. Small town. People talk!

Additionally, his voice actor (Ben Giroux) revealed that he used to “terrorize his sister” with the Mikey voice when they were kids. Imagine Mikey doing the same thing to his sister once upon a time, pfft.

This sister theory is just a headcanon, but it’ll be interesting to see what hints about his home life and family are dropped in future episodes. And did I mention that Mikey occasionally visits his uncle in prison, possibly because this is the only family member he has who can’t run away? I love him.

That was Mikey in the past. Now, what about Mikey in the present?

Let me say it again: I. Love. This. Kid.

I’m majoring in psychology, and when I started watching this show, I quickly ended up leaning back in my seat with a knuckle in my mouth, grinning at the ceiling. Mikey is a textbook case for narcissistic personality disorder, with the bonus joke thrown in of, I have no idea if Butch and the writers meant to do this or not (at least, they may not have realized they’ve been checking off all the diagnostic criteria as we go along). Either way, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a narcissistic cartoon character pulled off so subtly and so well- and without the cliché stereotype of being obsessed with his looks to boot!

People with this personality disorder are typically characterized as being “arrogant” (Check), “self-centered” (Check), “manipulative” (Check), “concentrating on grandiose fantasies [such as their own success or brilliance]” (Check), and as having “a need for admiration” (Check), “a lack of empathy for other people” (Check), and they “may be convinced that they deserve special treatment” (CHECK- Did you see “Beast of Friends” and “Astro-Nots”?). Such narcissists might “have difficulty tolerating criticism or defeat and may be left feeling humiliated or empty” when their pride is injured. That sure sounds like Mikey to me!

(Technically, since he’s young, we can’t officially diagnose him until he’s acted this way for a year, but if he continues in this pattern then he should fit the bill!)

What a personality disorder means is, this is his personality. You could maybe tone him down by reinforcing certain behaviors, but there’s nothing you can do to “fix” him permanently. There’s no medicine that will change him. It’s just the way he is, and it’s not really his fault. Mikey just loves being the center of attention. And I’m sure it doesn’t help his ego that he’s lived a life with cameras focused on him, and he’s possibly the second child and baby of his family.

He just constantly refocuses the spotlight on himself, like in this scene here where he expresses no sympathy for Darcy being alone all day (or even acknowledges her statement whatsoever), and changes the subject to him:

“Outside, when you were very close to my face, you said something about… helping me?”

Translation: “I’m only here for my benefit. Are we actually doing this, or are you just wasting my time?”

His narcissism is especially prominent throughout “Beast of Friends”. Not only does he interrupt Bunsen once he hears Bunsen has a friend who’s a wish-granting fairy, but when he meets Timmy Turner, all Mikey wants to do is make wishes. Timmy even asks him nicely to stop, and Mikey agrees by making comments like, “I totally hear you. Just let me make one more wish”. 

Spoiler: He doesn’t stop at one more. And when Timmy is tripping over himself, struggling to cover up hints of magic and fairies from his dad, he begs Mikey to back him up. Mikey cheerfully says, “Timmy’s totally right”, and immediately turns his attention back to Wanda and - you guessed it - makes more wishes. He’s completely blind to the fact that he’s causing Timmy distress. He hardly seems to register Timmy’s presence, because he’s so focused on the fact that Timmy has fairy godparents. Mikey even assumes they’ll grant his wishes, and never asks Timmy for permission first. This also happens to be the only episode thus far where Mikey realizes he got a little carried away, and apologizes for it. It took the threat of Bunsen’s death to get him to this point.

He also just honestly forgets to think about others a lot of the time. I think the best example I could pull up is that scene where Bunsen congratulates Amanda on winning “hide and go freak”, to which Mikey responds-

He forgot Amanda. As soon as he saw Bunsen’s game room, all bets were off. He just naturally assumed that if he wasn’t playing, the game was over. It didn’t even cross his mind to tell Amanda he wanted to play ping-pong instead. And he’s like this throughout the show. All. The. Time.

Of course, apart from his narcissism, Mikey has another fair reason to be distractible: there are heavy hints that he has ADHD, not the least of which is that he seems to be canonically dyslexic:

(“Go”)

(“Doomed”)

(Here he’s struggling to spell “cat”)

Dyslexia isn’t an actual diagnosis in the DSM-5, but he would have a specific learning disorder for writing - aka spelling, grammar, punctuation, and clarity (refer to the script he wrote above) - but he has no impairment in the reading department (fluency, comprehension), which is why he can read perfectly fine.

ADHD and dyslexia typically go hand in hand. On top of that - and this is SUPER fascinating to me - he’s actually animated as having an inability to sit still. He’s constantly out of his seat, or in his seat and changing position.

I actually had a different example in mind but it was too long and wouldn’t loop

When I first heard of this show, I naturally assumed Bunsen was going to be the wild one, and Mikey would be your average, plain kid along for the ride. It just seemed the cliché default. But then comes this huge plot twist in my mind: Bunsen is playful, but a bit reserved, and Mikey is the extremely peppy and hyperactive child. So, I think that’s really cool and lots of fun. Mikey is the first time I’ve ever watched a show and selected a lead to be my favorite character, so obviously something’s going right here!

ADHD also has some angst potential along with it. Aside from the obvious examples of struggling in class, he’s confirmed to be the head of the school welcoming committee. So, when it comes to designing posters, that can’t be the easiest job to do!

Oh, did you think that was all? NOPE! It’s been hinted numerous times that Mikey has an interest in psychology (and I wouldn’t be surprised if he spent hours poring over childcare books when he was younger as he tried to figure out if the way his parents were raising him was right or wrong). 

And, whether he started doing this intentionally or not, he’s turned into a massive guilt-tripper. He cries, people give him what he wants, he stops.

To be fair, Mikey doesn’t seem to realize that what he’s doing is wrong in any way. He’s sensitive in general- that part certainly isn’t faked, nor is he trying to be mean. Simply, this guilt-tripping behavior has been reinforced. 

Repeatedly.

As of “Astro-Nots”, he has yet to come up against anyone in the show who says no to big sad eyes (and he seems to have, perhaps unconsciously, taught this guilt-tripping behavior to Bunsen by this point). Since Mikey hasn’t tried to guilt-trip Amanda onscreen, it’s possible he’s tried in the past, but wasn’t reinforced and so unhappily gave up. He’s just savage to her with his words.

Now, I have that GIF above of Mikey guilt-tripping even Bunsen, his best friend, to do something he really didn’t want to do. I wouldn’t call their relationship abusive at all, especially with Mikey not seeming to realize what he’s doing is wrong. They’re good, close friends and get along awesomely. A time or two of guilt-tripping shouldn’t be reason to end their friendship. Really, what Bunsen did when agreeing to be Jerry’s mascot was a favor. Although being a mascot wasn’t something Bunsen wanted to do, he did want to make Mikey happy, and he did willingly agree to this- as a favor to a friend.

But for angst purposes, he didn’t want to do it. Like I said, I don’t consider their friendship abusive or anything like that, but it might be a tad strained at times. Think of it like, your college roommate might have really irritating quirks, but they’re probably not abusive. Only if Mikey’s manipulating got out of hand to the point where Bunsen was in distress and wanted this to stop - and Mikey refused - would this become a big problem. But, everyone has character flaws and their own struggles in relationships, and for now, this is just one of Mikey’s.

Don’t get me wrong. Mikey’s a really nice person, and he’s proved it multiple times (One of my favorite lines of his is, “Help me help you”). This is the thing: he always wants to get his way. If his way happens to be, “I want to make you happy”, then you’re in luck! But if you’re opposed to his views… he’s not going to make life easy on you. Mikey’s the sort of person who only says sorry out of sympathy- not when you insist he’s made a mistake. Not easily, anyway. He’s a narcissist who reads about psychology- he hates admitting that he’s wrong.

Heh heh. He’ll totally be there if you directlytell him what you need. But he can be a little blind to the feelings of others. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!

On top of ALL of this, Mikey has to put up with his rival being attracted to him:

She invades his personal space constantly and forces physical contact like this on him, and it obviously makes him super uncomfortable. I can relate. In my ninth grade math class, I had to sit next to a couple of jerks who - not an exaggeration, because they told me this - had grade point averages of 1.9 (out of 4.0). I didn’t show any interest in them, except once when one of them was bugging me about what my name was, I finally reinforced him by revealing it. This did not go well for me. And for whatever reason, the girl who sat in front of me thought I had a crush on this annoying kid. No clue why, because he was awful. So, she told him to come up behind me and rub my back.

Okay. So, no. I was out of my seat so fast, grabbing my thick, heavy school binder and whirling around, ready to smack him upside the head, but the bell rang just then so he got off scot-free. Keep in mind that I’m not even five feet tall as a college student, so I was even smaller back then. But BOY, did that kid have the face of someone who thought he was going to die.

Gosh, why is Mikey so relatable…

Then there’s more angst to be found within Amanda, Beverly- and of COURSE, Commander Cone… I could talk about them for a while still, but this post has gotten pretty long, so I’ll settle for just discussing our leading boys.

Mostly, the angst in BIaB is that sort of subtle emotional angst that’s obvious if you’re an adult paying attention to the show, but that’s easy to miss if you’re younger. It’s similar to “Fairly OddParents” in that respect (which is a show I personally favor to “Danny Phantom”, even though there are several things I could name about DP that appeal to me too).

Huh. Come to think of it, I wonder if that’s why DP has always been so popular- the younger generation caught onto its angst potential because it was more physical and obvious than the emotional angst present in cartoons like FOP. Plus he’s like a superhero and kids like superheroes. I tend to favor subtleties myself… I suppose because it feels more like I’m in on the joke than like I’m being force-fed.

Anyhow, “Bunsen Is a Beast” is not a cartoon that requires angst to move it along. And yet it’s sprinkled in there anyway; it never feels forced to me. Along with its super-expressive characters, that’s one thing that attracts me to the show- Holding my breath in anticipation to see if I can catch the subtleties. 

For example, all throughout “Body and the Beast”, Mikey refuses to say “school picture day” because he’s convinced something bad will happen to him if he does. That’s a hint that he may be superstitious, and adds a fascinating layer to his character since he’s our man of psychology and science. 

Isn’t that neat? Depending on how deep this runs, he might even struggle with thought-action fusion: the belief that thinking something is the same (aka, as “sinful”) as actually doing it- and there is so much angst tied up with that. 

And OH MAN, we didn’t even get to the part about Mikey “mysteriously” going bald two years prior the show’s beginning. Pardon me, but what is a ten-year-old narcissist who isn’t getting the emotional affection he desires from his parents going to do to himself for attention? Thaaaaaaaat’s right.

(Or if you want bonus angst potential… ever heard of trichotillomania?)

The clip where Mikey refuses to mention picture day and goes straight into talking about how he went bald two years ago was only a few seconds long, but it reveals so much! See? There’s so much fun here for someone like me! But like… It’s left up to me to choose if I want to see these characters as the sum of their parts, or if I want to enjoy this show while merely scraping the surface: Bunsen being cheerful and Mikey being his happy friend.

I like having this depth. I like having subtleties. With DP, “Star”, and “Gravity Falls”, every episode tasted very, “Meh, that went the way I expected it to” in my mouth. I guess you could say that that the subtle details I like in BIaB are very “inside joke” in nature. With those other three, everyone who watches the show is going to catch angsty things. It doesn’t take the coolness out of them, but it takes that excitement of discovery away from me a bit, I suppose? 

Could be. I don’t like being spoon-fed emotions. That’s why you don’t normally find me shipping characters (and when I do, I often tend towards background couples). I’m just not a very emotional person. I don’t tear up at anything less sad than Radio’s death in “Brave Little Toaster to the Rescue”, so you can guess how often that happens, because hoooooly wow, that death scene.

See, there are very few things that bug me about “Star vs. The Forces of Evil”, but the fact that I’m expected to feel bad for Star when Marco starts dating the girl of his dreams is one of them. The ending of “Just Friends” bothered me, with the way that Star lashed out and destroyed the stadium billboard like she was five. Ick. I guess the show put a little too much faith in the idea that people watch shows for ships. Yes, lots of people do- but I’m not one of them. I don’t ship two people just because they’re there, so I have a very hard time sympathizing with Star’s refusal to let Marco be happy with Jackie. 

In my mind, she’s an exchange student. They live together. They’re foster siblings. So when you don’t pity her, Star just looks like a selfish brat throughout the end of Season 2. Good glory, I so do not want Starco to be the endgame couple… I know it’s extremely unlikely to happen, but I’d love for her to end up with Oskar. Just. The potential of freaking Oskar being Mewni’s king. I need this so badly. Plus, they just feel so natural. 

Awesome show. But I don’t really go for the idea of, “She had to leave him, and it was so sad because she was in love!!!” What is this, a nuzlocke? I’m much happier fawning over Ludo and his story, like the way he once said, “Are you proud of me?” and then when he was complimented, he hesitated and asked, “Can you say proud?” That tells you everything.

I did really enjoy the twist in “Danny Phantom” that Danny doesn’t need to keep his identity secret from his enemies, but from his family- not to protect his family, but because his family are ghost hunters, and they’re liable to hurt him. But, like… I would have enjoyed some filler episodes, actually. Episodes where Danny didn’t even fight ghosts. Episodes that gave him more character traits. Because who is Danny without his ghost powers? He’s a shy kid who enjoys learning about outer space and wants to get with the cool crowd, but has only two close friends. Mostly, he only does poorly in school because he never has the chance to sleep or study, or when he does have free time, he’s distracted by video games.

I wanted to see that Danny a little more, and not just when Danny gave up his ghost powers in “Phantom Planet”. I wanted THAT Danny to have angst. The problem with Season 3 was, in Season 1, Danny was learning to control his powers for the first time. In Season 3, he’d mastered them. He didn’t struggle anymore. He lacked good weaknesses. His weakness became exhausting himself to the point where he slipped back into human form. Aka, the removal of powers: kryptonite. His angst was about fighting ghosts. It was very plot-based. And that worked really well until suddenly it didn’t. Fans of the show have rounded his character out some more, but canon!Danny was left flailing for weaknesses in Season 3, or so I think.

I didn’t mean to go off about shows that you didn’t even ask about in your question. Sorry! This is the first time I’ve tried putting into words my thoughts about why those shows are neat to watch, yet I don’t consider myself part of their respective fandoms. 

What I enjoy about BIaB is, the fantastic racism element is definitely there, but it’s not the main focus of every single episode (Geez, that would get annoying fast). It’s a show about, well… fitting in. Making new friends. Struggling with a bully who hurts people emotionally instead of physically. Culture shock. It’s about two kids caring for one another, accepting who they are and who the other is, making mistakes, and learning to be better people in the process. Y’know. With plenty of angst sprinkled on top. The type of angst that fleshes characters out and builds up solid worlds. The kind of angst that I enjoy a lot.

So, DP, GF, and “Star” are generally well-done and awesome, but for whatever reason, I just appreciate them in a different way than I do FOP and BIaB. Anyone who’s been around my blog for awhile knows which of the shows I watch I actually produce fanwork for.

I think it’s interesting that people enjoy different things, don’t you?

#Bunsen Is a Beast #asks #Anon #Beasty such a beaut #Fluffy blue transfer student #Official human buddy TM #Distant helicopter parents #Savage spittle queen #screenshots #GIFs #'ChalkZone' is another very nice 'subtle-angst' show you may enjoy #Going Ghost! #Dimensional scissor show #99% true as far as we remember

[wearegradinterns]

Blog Post #2: True Colors Inventory

How do your personalities help you navigate life? The workplace?

I find that my personality helps me a great deal when it comes to connecting with different types of people. I really enjoy meeting people, and I don’t typically feel any nervousness when I’m in a group of completely new people. There are many situations where I think my friendliness or idealistic attitude has made people uncomfortable or not super interested in interacting with me, but I remain open and try and negotiate that relationship as best I can. I feel that I navigate life pretty smoothly because of my “Blueness”, but I also think the aspects of Gold and Green that I have help me remain competitive, relatively rational, and organized in the work place. I work well with others in the workplace, but I have trouble during group projects because I sometimes feel that I could do the work better myself rather than delegating the work to others. I definitely feel the need to have control in certain situations because with other people involved there are more variables that could allow the project to fail. When I do something by myself, I can take full responsibility of its failures or short comings, but when other people are involved it’s harder to control. This is something that I am constantly working toward fixing. I also find that I take things too personally when problems arise between coworkers. Because my emotions are so strong, I feel very deeply for everything that I am a part of and get upset when something goes wrong etc.

What other inventories have you taken? How do they relate?

Two inventories that I’ve taken separately from the True Colors form include the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, as well as the NJCAN Interest Profiler. Through the Myers-Briggs, I received the personality type INFP, which stands for: Introversion, Intuition, Feeling and Perceiving. Some of the personality traits associated with this indication include: deep-felt feeling, quietly caring, compassionate, pursues meaning and harmony, creative, idealistic, empathic helpers, inquisitive, enjoys ideas and language and writing, independent, adaptable. While I don’t see myself as completely introverted, I feel that this is a pretty accurate description of who I am.

The NJCAN Interest Profiler is an assessment I took within my career counseling class. While it isn’t exactly a personality inventory, I liked it because it gave a numerical score to different interests that a person has and talks about how they relate to personality and what a person’s function would be in a career. I have included the specifics of my profile below to show the results I received. Artistic and Social were my highest valued categories, which relate greatly to both my True Colors and my Myers-Briggs assessments. I am empathetic, communicative, creative, social, helpful and expressive, which are all things that generally overlap with each test. I think it is important to cross reference assessments such as these because you are able to see the bigger picture of who you are as a holistic person. It also allows you to check the validity of the assessment if it corresponds with other similar and dissimilar assessments.

Strengths/Challenges in the job search?

I think my personality gives me a great deal of advantage during in-person job interviews. I feel that I have a friendly face and demeanor as well as a gentle tone and an appropriate sense of humor. I think some of this can be lost over the phone, especially the presence I have when I am actually in the room. On the other hand, I feel as though people may interpret my temperament as weakness or an expression of lack of experience. I can be very serious when I need to be, especially when work needs to get done, but I find no necessity in being hard and stern all of the time. As a woman, who is emotional, I think that is often interpreted as an undesirable quality rather than a strength, but honestly if an office sees it that way then it probably isn’t an environment that I would be happy working in.

Talking with friends/partners/co-workers about their results?

I had my partner Ian complete the True Colors inventory as well. His scores included: Orange- 7, Gold-10, Blue-15, Green-18. When I took this for the first time, I had pretty much pegged him as a Green with Blue close behind. I think the reason why our relationships works so well is because of the larger percentage of Blue that he has. I don’t think I could be with someone who wasn’t really emotional, or at least couldn’t understand that I am a really emotional person. I can definitely see how he is predominately a Green. He loves science, he is very logical, and he tries to be as efficient as possible. My favorite example is grocery shopping. I am very much an impulse buyer as well as a wanderer, while he follows the list and takes the most efficient route around the store. He gets super frustrated with me when he comes with me shopping and I start to do my thing, so what usually happens is he takes control of the direction we go and I just bother him with bad jokes while we move along. This way, he’s happy with the course of action, and I still get to have some fun! He says my jokes aren’t good and he gives me side eye when I put candy in the cart, but I can tell he secretly thinks it’s funny! I’m not good with spontaneity and I’m not one for a great deal of adventure, so the fact that we both have Orange as our lowest category is good. It makes planning vacations and trips less stressful for me because he allows me to plan everything to the last detail and helps me cope when things change.  

[yes-these-obsessions-are-healthy]

Thoughts thoughts thoughty-thoughts

Now I read [this super cool analysis] of chapter 17 by @attackontitantea​ and I think it’s awesome, but here are my thoughts and feelings upon first reading which are not meant to argue with attackontitantea but are just like...here’s just what I think at the same time as them, yeah?

Please note that any insults directed towards Yoonbum are intended to be read as perceptions and thoughts from other characters, not me personally.

[Yoonbum’s shyness and inability to fend off teasing]

So Yoonbum, mentally ill, introverted, painfully shy, very unused to people is now in some club hangout with his kidnapper and his friends. They’re talking and laughing, he obviously feels like a third wheel, he’s very conscious of every light bit of poking fun they do to him.

Jien points out how skinny and small he is.

Whether she’s trying to be malicious or not...I can’t really tell because some people just tease others as a way to be friendly, but for it to be non-threatening there has to be a level of playfulness by the teaser on top of the person being teased accepting that it’s not a personal, malicious attack. Correct me if I’m wrong, but for people like us that have trouble connecting with people or maintaining relationships--those who are very anxious about people, autistic people (like me), BPD sufferers and probably others--these are almost always seen as attacks. They’re considered personal attacks on us because we know we don’t know how to play the social game as well as they do. Jien knows this, since she comments later that she knows he’s mentally ill (how does she know? Who told her?) so then again perhaps her teasing was meant to hurt Yoonbum and she’s technically safe because Yoonbum, while inwardly hurt, does not and is incapable of making a scene because he himself does not know for sure if she’s just being a bitch or trying to be friendly. ‘Maybe this is what people who are friends do with each other’, a part of him thinks, ‘so I shouldn’t make a big deal out of it’. And even if she was being a bitch, only people who are very close to one another, I find, would call someone out on another’s teasing and tell them to knock it off. He doesn’t know these people. He also doesn’t want to make Sangwoo look bad, likely, because he may get punished. He’s following the rules, not giving him any reason to lash out at him when they get home.

Sangwoo being an ass: Not understanding/giving a fuck about Yoonbum’s social anxiety

Now we all know how much of a Grade-A psychopath Sangwoo is. He seems completely incapable of fully comprehending a person’s pain. He doesn’t feel bad when he hurts people and he likely doesn’t realize or care when he does unintentionally.

As accurately as Sangwoo has had on reading Yoonbum--sort of--he goes so far as to magnify Yoonbum’s awkwardness and aggravating his companion Donggyu at the same time by having them compare wrists.

Donggyu was whining about how he wasn’t exempt from the draft regardless of his weight and bad knee, and in the process of Sangwoo pulling Donggyu into being the butt of a joke that was originally meant for Yoonbum, he did somewhat offset the negative attention Yoonbum was getting for his size. However, Yoonbum is still uncomfortable having people laugh about and around him because the joke still relies heavily on his physique.  

Perhaps, though, this is Sangwoo’s way of rooting out hypocrisy. Some chapters ago he told Yoonbum he hated whining, snivelling, self-pitying people like Yoonbum was in his eyes, and in that moment Donggyu was setting himself up to be torn down in the same way by going on about his problems. Sangwoo doesn’t have time for sob stories, however minor they are. He doesn’t give a fuck. If anything, it’s an easy way to humiliate someone by using their revealed weaknesses against them.

In the end, Yoonbum being used as a tool by Sangwoo to humiliate Donggyu makes the guy passive aggressive as fuck towards Yoonbum for making him look bad (bitch it wasn’t his fault!)

Sangwoo being an ass - not giving a fuck/caring about Yoonbum’s social anxiety #2!

Next up, when Yoonbum asks Sangwoo to go to the bathroom, he is ignored. He turns to Donggyu who...ignores him.

(Personal note: I would have fucking pushed him out of the way, just saying)

Of course this is distressing for Yoonbum, but with him needing to go to the bathroom (an urgent matter, don’t you know), and with Korean culture being such that silent rejection is the preferred and most popular way of communicating that you don’t like or accept someone, on top of Yoonbum being in a position of unfamiliarity with these people and feeling like he’s intruding on them, on top of suffering from a mental illness that treats every perceived slight as 10000x more serious than it really is to an average person, I bet that Yoonbum was a minute away from having a meltdown. I know I would have.

Also, this attempt at trying to be assertive or act independently of Sangwoo backfired horribly. So he turns to Sangwoo once again for help...

And he promptly disregards Yoonbum’s request, which to me is just par for the course, I think? (Personal note: Man, I can’t get a good read on this motherfucker. I’m trying y’all, I’m trying. I’m already this far deep and have a lot to say so let’s just keep going. Fuck, why are you so hard to understand Sangwoo).

Really, this is Sangwoo being a dick right here. “I don’t want to go, so I don’t see why I have to care that you do.” (Personal note: Yeah, that’s good enough. Moving on!)

Having both exits blocked, one by someone whom Yoonbum prayed would honor social conventions and do the polite thing and concede, and the person he has been forced to rely on against his will for everything in the past few...days? weeks? months?...and the pressure of needing to go makes Yoonbum physically squirm.

And for Sangwoo, it’s amusing.

So many different ways to read this, so I’ll just elaborate on them. It may be a mixture, who knows:

1) Seeing Yoonbum in this state of distress caused by him personally planting seeds of reproach into r is actually entertaining, because he’s a sadistic piece of shit 2) Seeing YoonBum helpless and in need is cute, like how you automatically go “aww, let me help” when a toddler does something adorably clumsy 3) He thinks “You can’t do anything without me, can you?” and that is funny because “Yoonbum looks so pathetic, how the hell has he lasted this long in the real world?” He’s not charming, he’s not strong or versatile, he’s the most beta of beta of betas. He’s like a soft-shelled turtle, completely without defenses or means to cope with life’s most minor upsets. Granted, Yoonbum is mentally ill and held against his will, but for Sangwoo that’s just “details, details”.

So Sangwoo helps Yoonbum. I think because Sangwoo feels like, as his “owner” of this scrappy little freak, it’s his job to protect him or throw him a bone every once in awhile. Maybe because, in the very end of ends, Yoonbum has grown on him sort of. Again, his inattentiveness to the emotional needs of Yoonbum is almost completely not there, but he has an artificial semblance of an idea of what he needs, so he acts accordingly.

And Donggyu, being the fuck he is, is like “what?”. And the look Sangwoo gives him...

And Donggyu’s reaction

Yeah, he’s unnerved. He probably doesn’t even know why he feels off, but he does. Some part of him, some instinctive part of him that knows danger even when he himself isn’t unconsciously aware of it is prickling in discomfort.

Sangwoo’s cruelty

Dongyyu made up for his momentary embarrassment and having to concede to Sangwoo by acting like a little bitch when Yoonbum was trying to get through. Yoonbum falls and lands in Donggyu’s lap by accident.

Sangwoo goes to join Yoonbum in the bathroom. There he teases him about the very embarrassing situation that he was just in and does in fact tease him about his sexuality like a hypocrite.

Yoonbum panics here for several reasons which should be obvious. 

1) It was an accident, and when someone implies that something embarrassing happening to us was actually something else entirely, we either get angry or panic. Yoonbum panics.

2) Yoonbum, much like the reader, is unsure of what will set Sangwoo off. Yoonbum is a plaything for Sangwoo but still his. However much genuine possessiveness or possessiveness-on-principle Sangwoo feels for Yoonbum is hazy, but it would not be too far of a stretch for Yoonbum or Donggyu to be punished for that altercation.

3) His quiet obsessive side is perhaps rousing here just the tiniest bit, or perhaps unconsciously making Yoonbum’s protest even greater, trying to assure Sangwoo that there can not be anyone else, that he isn’t some whore who’d do it with anyone (which is what Sangwoo implied). And even IF that is not the case, he’s still not a whore that does it with anyone just because he’s shown to be totally fine with having sexual relations with Sangwoo, a man who was once the object of his affection. 

Gay, Pan, and Bi men are often accused by straight men of being deviant and sluts who’ll “do it with anyone” just because another man is in the same room as them in a way of expressing their contempt at being non-straight. With Korea being in that limbo like Japan of being technically conservative but still allowing the LGBT community to be out and exist and all of the nightclubs, fiction, and media to exist to a certain extent, at the ground-level there is still discrimination and reproach for their existence among people. It is likely that Sangwoo’s friends would think of Yoonbum as even more of a freak if they realized he was gay, or at the very least singularly in love with Sangwoo (at least in the beginning). 

The fact that Sangwoo clearly knows this and employs all that I’ve described above with his comment regarding Yoonbum being up for guy’s dick is rich considering he himself is fine with using Yoonbum’s body as a sex toy/being perfectly fine with experimenting and allowing Yoonbum to fulfill his fantasies of being sexually intimate with Sangwoo.  

Personally, I headcanon Sangwoo as bisexual, and psychopaths like him are adept at drawing attention away from their hypocritical actions and statements and instead placing it on another person’s flaws and weaknesses. Even if confronted, they will either get violently angry or wave it off because that sort of “Well what does that make you?” logic doesn’t faze them.

Now let’s switch gears to Jien, whose personality and character really flesh her out as someone completely different than the previous two chapters seemed to set her up as.... I’m just focusing on this chapter now, so I’ll make references to previous chapters but I’m not going to be using visual examples for those because shut up.

Korea’s hang-ups about education and mental illness

When Yoonbum returns from the restroom, it is without Sangwoo. Out of courtesy, as we all do, Jien did not align her laser sights on Yoonbum while Sangwoo was with them and only talked as much shit as she knew was socially acceptable (as illustrated above). When Yoonbum is seated, however, she makes her contempt towards him known straight away.

Now I am NOT as well-versed in Korean culture as I am in Japanese culture, but I am knowledgeable in is making roughly accurate comparisons and educated guesses of culture based on some good ol’ research. South Korea places a high value on education. College is very much expected of young adults and is valued for both the economic and social prestige it could bring to people and their families. As can be expected, blue-collar workers and those who opt not to go to college are scorned and sneered at. Much like the United States, in Korea there is the idea that Higher Education = Guaranteed Employment + Economic Prosperity + Social Boost, which is simply not the reality one faces when you are swamped with loads and loads of graduates entering the workforce. Regardless, that elitism is illustrated quite clearly with Jien’s friend’s very intrusive (yet admittedly expected) query regarding why Yoonbum attended college “4 years late”, as well as Jien’s reaction to this new information.

Next up, we have what Jien immediately does afterwards, which is whisper (personal note: QUITE FUCKING RUDE, THIS BITCH) in her friend’s ear. The next panel shows us that Jien was likely whispering something along the lines of “I bet he doesn’t have a girlfriend”, knowing that her friend seems to be in a chatty, gossipy mood tonight and apparently willing to embarrass Yoonbum until he’s a puddle on the floor.  

While whispering to another person about another person while the person is sitting right there is perhaps universally reviled as passive aggressive and RUDE AS FUCK, saying something pointed like “I bet you don’t have a girlfriend” is something that only the most socially inept or outwardly hostile would ask another person in this situation. By whispering it to her friend, knowing that her friend will likely translate it into a question (that is, if she had not explicitly ask the friend to perhaps subtly interrogate Yoonbum on his relationship status), she is attacking him indirectly. Jien is not asking him the question outright to Yoonbum, so she is technically not being the rude person here, and therefore can not be labelled as the mannerless bitch in this situation.

Spoiler: She is, though.

What does make me wonder, however, is that after a friend at the table makes a comment about how “innocent” Yoonbum looks in comparison to Sangwoo, Jien mutters this loud enough for everyone to hear:

I have many questions. First off: How does she know Yoonbum suffers from BPD? Is this something widely known by people her age but they just don’t talk about it because mental illness is 1) None of your business and really isn’t a topic of conversation in mixed company, 2) Stigmatized very, very, very heavily in Korean culture, much more so than America. Is it because Yoonbum is infamous for his obsessive, stalking tendencies in the past? Did Sangwoo tell them at some point? Does she seem to just know? 

Also, let me just say, fuck this bitch. You can clearly, painfully see the stigma of this culture towards mental illness with the fact that she makes this comment. Now the comment itself makes me question if she does know about Yoonbum’s previous actions and what she is saying is “His mental illness compelled him to commit crimes and stalk people, therefore he isn’t “innocent”, or she is suggesting that people who are mentally ill are somehow tainted or some such. Again, mental illness has a HUGE stigma in Korea. Teachers are not trained like in the Western world to look for symptoms of ADD, autism, depression, or whatever. Her making that quip basically solidified Yoonbum as a freak in the eyes of the group, as evident by the silence that falls immediately after.

Jien fucking steps out of line

Finally, Sangwoo returns. I can’t believe that I’m relieved that he has. Jien is this insufferable.

Sangwoo declines an invitation to continue the night out with Jien and her friends, making the excuse that he has to drive Yoonbum home. Jien immediately gets upset and practically whines the following.

Now I don’t know about y’all, but this was the breaking point for me. This was where I lost absolutely all sympathy I may have had for this “unrequited love” she may have had for Sangwoo. Do I really need to spell out why this is beyond unacceptable? Do all y’all readers (if y’all are even reading this far) have enough of a grasp on social etiquette to realize how absolutely childish she sounds in this moment? I hope so. To make it short, her complete and utter disregard for a friend of a friend who is clearly with needs (SINCE HIS LEGS ARE BROKEN) because of her obvious jealousy of Yoonbum and--can I use the word--thirst for Sangwoo is so blatant and transparent that...I’ll get to that thought in a tiny bit. Hold on.

Sangwoo of course takes it in stride and shuts her down quickly by being charming. He attacks her weak spot--her forehead. I interpret this as a secret way of getting back at her for being so rude to Yoonbum in front of him, but more of a means to defuse the situation and get her distracted and to calm her tits.

Again, Sangwoo lays on the charm.

And with him giving her that gentle expression that has definitely been practiced, she backs off. From a chapter or two ago Sangwoo referred to Jien as “annoying” when he looked and found her texting him and bothering him. Usually when we are interrupted by a text, we are not mad at the person who texted us per se because they are not the real source of our irritation at the moment. For Sangwoo, she is irritating. She causes unnecessary upsets in his life, like when she messed up the song that he worked so hard to do. If she had aced it, he wouldn’t have had a problem with her, she would have been alright, all things considered. But she messed it up for him, she has proven to be very clingy to him despite them not being officially together. To put it simply, she’s an annoyance. 

He doesn’t let on that that’s the case, though... 

When Yoonbum and Sangwoo are in the car, Yoonbum notices that Sangwoo’s expression is...unsettling

(Personal note: [Psychopathic Manchild] is a trope)

Now I don’t want to make predictions of what will happen in the next chapter because I don’t want to go back and edit this if it turns out to be wrong, so I’ll put what I think I know in regards to this: Sangwoo has shown that he finds people who show obvious romantic feelings for him while being ignorant of his true nature are entertaining. Them being so blind to what he is is a thrill in of itself. It means that his guise as a wolf in sheep’s clothing is so attractive and so convincing that people continue to be swayed by his charms, ignorant in how close to death they are. It’s a great feeling, like pulling off a magic trick. 

And the rest of the chapter detailing Sangwoo’s actions spawns only conjecture and predictions, which I will not make to avoid being proven wrong in the future, LOL

So! Those are my thoughts! Hope you enjoyed reading :D

#sangwoo #yoonbum #killing stalking #killing stalking chapter 17 #killing stalking chapter 17 spoilers #character discussion #character analysis #this took like three days to put together #what is wrong with me