#bc like for everyone else this is a random tuesday

[bitchthefuck1]

Hate how stories about a human character getting romantically involved with magical demon-fairy-vampire-elf-etc always frame the nonhuman partner as, like, universally desirable and an obviously appealing choice instead of actually engaging with the fact that the normal-average main character is a bit of a freak for being so down to clown with what is essentially a completely different species

#like from a character standpoint it immediately makes them way more compelling if you actually engage with the fact that it actually says #something about the human character that they'd be into this instead of taking it as a forgone conclusion that they'd want to fuck this #other being #because if you really look at the situation honestly its not a given. like yeah this person is hot but you'd have to adjust to a LOT of #very unfamiliar stuff very quickly in ways that most people frankly are not prepared for #also setting aside the reality of the situation. 'normal everyman who when you actually look at their actions honestly is highkey insane' i #just such a fun character type #the one human in a group of nonhuman creatures is realistically the weirdest one of bunch #bc like for everyone else this is a random tuesday #this isn't like A Take its just a thing i think about. like it immediately makes everyone involved way more interesting and compelling

[comradekatara]

Here's a completely random ask for you: what holiday (halloween, valentine's day, national ice cream day, etc.) would each member of the Gaang feel unreasonably strongly about? Can be positive or negative feelings.

oh this is a good question! (i hate so many american commercial holidays so this is a great avenue for me to project my frustrations with us capitalism onto these little guys. and to be clear im just doing us holidays bc otherwise there would simply be too many options and i’d be stuck here forever)

aang: he’s not enough of a hater to dislike any holidays. he’s a big fan of april fool’s day, valentine’s day, and halloween, because he appreciates fun and joy and love and merriment duh

katara: every thanksgiving she goes on an impassioned rant about the historical revisionism of the us empire deployed as a propaganda tool as it continues its genocidal imperialist project and the absolutely sick and twisted audacity of americans to celebrate a known lie in a mockery of the atrocities committed from the past into the present (this one may or may not just have been me, yesterday). every november-december she goes on an impassioned rant about the commercialism of christmas, and how it’s largely a fake holiday devised by capitalists to glorify the sanctity of the nuclear family, and how the supposed “secularization” of christmas is in fact a product of christian hegemony, it’s propaganda and you’re all falling for it because you crave hollow comforts in your cold and dismal life, and instead of attempting to look beyond the scraps you are given under capitalism you all just force yourselves to enjoy a facade of happiness and nostalgia because you refuse to admit that you’re fundamentally uncomfortable in your society!!!!!!!! (this is what i think but wisely refrain from saying because it’s not worth it. katara, however...) also she likes valentine’s day sometimes (depending on whether or not she has a boyfriend). she also has a lot to say on columbus day and the fourth of july of course, but this bullet point is already far too long.

sokka: his favorite holiday is pi day. he does not care for any other us holiday (but he has been known to enjoy a halloween here and there), but he specifically hates april fools because aang insists on pranking him every time, for some godforsaken reason. (he’s just so prankable!)

toph: her least favorite holiday is valentine’s day because it promotes m*rriage, one of her most hated institutions (it’s a long list). her favorite day is taco tuesday

zuko: he insists on celebrating shakespeare’s birth/deathday as if it is a real holiday that anyone actually cares about. and he gets offended when no one else cares. his least favorite holiday is the fourth of july, but not for any political reasons, it just has really bad vibes.

suki: she loves halloween because it has everything you could ever ask for in a single day: dressing in elaborate costume, eating so much candy, and getting really drunk. she’s also one of those people who gets really obnoxious on 4/20, at which point mai is like “you know it’s hitler’s birthday, right?” and immediately kills the vibe. just because she can :)

mai: she has a love/hate relationship with halloween, because theoretically it’s a celebration of the gothic, the liminal, the macabre, the ghostly. but in practice it’s just an excuse for everyone around her to get wasted. she hates christmas more though. santa freaks her out and cloying, forced cheer and merriment is unnerving and infuriating, actually.

ty lee: she dreads valentine’s day every year because she simply has too many suitors and it is very stressful. she likes april fool’s day because it gives her the opportunity to exercise her more devious inclinations. she can prank people so well they don’t even know they’re being pranked; on april first the world is her playground.

azula: she has no real opinion on any specific holidays. they’re petty distractions for mindless drones who require a modicum of frivolity here and there to spice up their otherwise dull, worthless lives. however, she quite likes tax day.

#bonus: yue’s favorite holiday is mid autumn festival <3 #lawful-chaos #asks #the gaang and #modern au #sorry for the katara rant in the middle of this post. it was thanksgiving yesterday. im hearing xmas music in stores. i couldn’t help myself #i should make a holiday tag #since a lot of these points are references to other similar posts ive made #okay: #holidays #if u go thru this tag you can find prev posts #instead of having to add bulky links to the post itself lmfao

[withacapitalp]

Hidden Gem Friday

Hi guys!!! Okay so today is the first Hidden Gem Friday!!! I'm super pumped to be able to do this, I think it's gonna be so much fun. I have like 30 prompts already, so I'm going to try and do a little bit of a variety in these? Anyways!! I'm super psyched about this and I hope you guys leave comments for these writers when you read their stuff!!! Also let the writer know how you found them bc I always wonder when I get a random uptick in hits/comments/kudos! Anyways here's the actual rec list

Shoot by alligator_writes recced by me written by @riality-check! 1.2k words (Complete)- Jancy

Summary:

Jonathan shoots to capture. Nancy shoots to kill.  OR A character study of the two of them and their relationship.

My Thoughts:

WOW Honestly that's my thought with everything Ria writes, but this one is so overlooked!!! It's so short but every word packs an incredibly punch and it's the epitome of quality over quantity. The characterization is perfect, the parallels are so well written. Ah I just love this one

always surprised by what i do for love by birthdaycandles recced by @andrea-csenge 6.3k words (Complete)- Gen

Summary:

“He’s dressed like Steve.” Dustin says plainly, monotone in that way he gets when he’s genuinely upset and not just worked up for show. “Why?” Mike is asking because he still hasn’t processed the ugly fact of the matter, reasonably so considering how bizarre it is to witness someone be so braindead in public, but Lucas would like an answer that addresses the other type of why. Like, why is Conner Marrigan such a fucking asshole? “Clearly, uh, Marrigan wanted to have a costume no one else would think of.” Eddie chimes in. For once he sounds almost nervous, though Lucas has no idea why. “I figured I’d let you know, considering your allegiance to Harrington and also the general fact that it’s a pretty fucked up thing to do.”

My thoughts:

I love this one so much!!!! It's really well written first of all, and secondly the characterization of Lucas here is so unique!! This is my kind of Lucas, and the thought behind the premise is really interesting. Plus the Jason here is accurate to real Jason and I like that a lot (So many people just make irredeemable monster Jason when like before he went cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs he was just your regular small town jock asshole)

It has been a beautiful fight. (it still is.) by througheden aka the amazing @thefreakandthehair !!!!! Recced by Lex technically, but also by me bc wowwww 3.3k words (Complete) - Steddie

Summary:

Steve wasn’t sure how the fuck he ended up at The Hideout on a Tuesday night.  Okay, that wasn’t true— Eddie invited him, he was loath to admit that he was still harboring an unexpected and ill-fated crush, and he’d agreed to go before his brain could catch up with his mouth. That's how he ended up at The Hideout on a Tuesday night.

My thoughts

Augh I just love the way you write. Something about it is so flowy, like a river or a silk dress. Anyways this is such a sweet little one shot, I always get so eeeeeee over a first kiss, and this was perfect!!!! I have a v similar idea for a story ending that is taking place soon, so great minds lolol but yes amazing show stopping wonderful etc. etc.

Words caught in my throat (who talks first?) by fragilecapric0rn recced by @flashyysins 12.2k (Complete)- Steddie

Summary:

Steve and Eddie get snowed in together. Emotional constipation and all the things left unsaid are also in attendance.

My Thoughts:

Okay so I said to myself I would put at least one WIP on this, but then I just read this one and Was going to skim it, but I literally couldn't put it down. It's so fucking good and I got choked up more than once I loved all the characterizations they felt so in synch. There are some spicy bits in this so fair warning, but there's also dad hopper and Wayne and stobin soulmate moments and just AUGH this is amazing it really honestly Is everyone should go read this and the fact that it only has 886 hits is a fucking travesty. I could easily see this as one of the seminal steddie fics tbh.

#hidden gem friday #fic rec #steddie fic recs #steddie fic #stranger things fic rec #Steve harrington #Eddie munson #steddie #Lucas sinclair #Jonathan byers #Nancy wheeler #jancy #Jancy fic rec #I loooooved all of these sm!!! #Should I include some of my own in this list ever? #Anyways you're always free to send me more!!! #Liam speaks up

[irlnumbuh3]

more knd middle school headcanons!

shoutout to @irldonniee they are so real WE ARE MOOTS HERE AND ON TIKTOK ITS CRAZY!!! :00 ILY MOOT

- wally picks ceramics as his elective and holy shit it is so cute😭

- all that aggression , he’s able to put into working with clay. and maybe certain days he does slam the clay harder on the table than others… but it’s a good stress reliever ! we know wally feels a LOT, and that only intensified in middle school

- kuki does ceramics with him, she’s really gentle with her work unlike… someone else… she’s almost too gentle, but when she’s had a bad day, STAY AWAY because that clay is gonna be fucked up by her LMFAO. her speciality is the glazing/painting part of the class

- hoagie and abby do band together! hoagie attempts the saxophone, and abby plays the flute

- nigel feels stuck between picking electives but ultimately goes the art route because there was no way in hell he was going to be asked to play the sousaphone by his father AGAIN

- these 5 play ninja at recess it gets crazy

- THEY PLAY BOXBALL/4 SQUARE TOO IT GETS EVEN CRAZIER

- at some point in time boxball gets banned for a little bit bc of them mostly wally…. the other kids weren’t too thrilled with them… the glares were deadly i’m telling u middle schoolers are serious about boxball at least i was

- it was finally able to be unbanned when wally threatened to make his own boxball game but instead of a light ball, u used a 10 lb weighted ball ………..

- they all decorate eachothers lockers for their birthdays

- kuki and abby are the two girls who gossip and walk the mile together

- the boys try and outrun eachother in said mile hoagie nearly had an asthma attack

- there’s a shower in the boys locker room and all of the boys were told to never turn it on because it hadn’t been turned on in 20 years. it becomes a game to see which boy in the locker room can get the closest to turning it on

- hoagie holds the record currently . wally is not thrilled by it

- thus wally gets in school suspension for turning on said shower. 3 DAYS OF ISS LMFAO

- wally goes through an axe phase and thinks he smells amazing and tough and masculine. he gets humbled by abby at lunch one random tuesday

- hoagie and wally buy lunch from the school and will play with their food by trying to make the most disgusting combinations. one day they make the entire cafeteria smell so foul that there’s an evacuation 💀

- nigel gets back together with lizzie in 6th grade and they’re the infamous middle school couple. she sits with them at lunch and brings her friends. she beefs with everyone occasionally 😭

- she plays messenger and makes her friends deliver her orders/comments to nigel at recess and throughout the day LOOL

- you know yaga? where you pull someone’s hair and say yaga? wally does that to kuki all of the time. especially during assemblies

- oh but she gets back at him in 8th grade when he starts growing his hair out to be shaggier

- meaning she literally GRABS his entire head of hair to yank back…. the group doesn’t think she knows how to actually play yaga….

- when walking around at recess, everyone likes to stuff random shit in wally’s hood

- kuki eventually drops her elective to switch to chorus. she’s a soprano!

- abby realizes she hates band and changes her elective too. she joins wally and nigel in ceramics. and wow do they TALK in that class

- the only class they all have together is study hall. and the teacher umm… she’s not the most patient. it’s a silent study hall

- and these 5 are awful at being silent -_- the teacher doesn’t even want pure silence she just wants peace. and they’re bad at that

- and because they got to pick their seats in the beginning of the year , hoagie and wally are next to one another, then abby and nigel are next to one another behind them, and kuki is directly in front of hoagie’s desk

- there’s an empty chair next to kuki, and this girl is a social butterfly, people come and sit next to her all of the time

- usually just “girly girls” but occasionally some boys… like maybe Ace or some loser who calls himself “30C” like “who even calls themselves that??”

- the antics are usually fine in study hall i mean it’s the last period of the day, everyone just wants to go home right!!

- wrong there is so much energy in one class

- some kids from their elementary are even in that class, like an irish girl named fanny and joe balooka, the instigator himself… he plays with his yipper cards with hoagie occasionally and so kuki and hoagie swap seats

- they all help wally with his homework

- sometimes they all play uno in study hall

- but everyone typically tries to do their homework, so they don’t have to after school. keyword: TYPICALLY. when all ur friends are in one class together, u don’t always wanna do ur work🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

- the note passing is crazy in there. and they’re usually slick with it, but sometimes it’s so much more fun to just be as obvious as possible

- one day wally started it by crumpling up his note, walking to the garbage, pretending to throw it out, and then turning around and throwing it in hoagie’s face

- was it impressive? 100%.…

- to get back at him, hoagie walked around the room only to come back to his desk and to slam the note on wally’s desk and FUCK is it funny for no reason

- and of course this turns into a competition…. kuki is determined to win whatever this game is, nigel rolls his eyes but oh he’s planning something, and abby just keeps covering her mouth to laugh while thinking she’s about to eat this shit up

- it’s kuki’s turn. she writes on the paper and gracefully gets up to the front of the room, and the very first person to the front all the way to right, she says, “pass this to wally please”

- and that note makes it to every single kid in that class LMFAOAOAOAO

- impressive yes. but abby’s up next. she leaves the room, where the hell is she going??? then next thing you know, she’s back, and kuki’s homeroom teacher is calling her to the office 😭😭

- “kuki, honey!! this note was left for me to give to you. it was slid into my mailbox. it says it’s from your counselor.”

- FUCKKK WAS THAT GOOD OR WHAT

- then nigel’s turn.. oh and does he have the best one yet. he grabs the paper and he writes his message and then… wait why is miss thompson walking over here? guys? wait plz hide the note somewhere oh no she looks mad oh my god guys-

- “nigel uno! a student i’d never expect to be passing notes, why don’t we tell everyone what’s on your mind?” “nonono miss thompson that’s a project we are all working on pls-“

- “fuck u” and some obscene doodles… “fuck u x2 >:)” “ur mouths are filthy. wash them please ♡ xoxo kuki! ps. hi abby!!!!! ily!” “hey kuki. ily2. and ur move, nigel. unless you chicken out now… :P” “who do i look like i am? do i look li”

- they all kinda got separated for the week

- kuki asks everyone to play MASH with her

- she 100% had a slime business in school

- said it before and i’ll say it again, her and hoagie are theatre kids. her and hoagie share a love for be more chill LMFAOAOAO

- no one else understands their obsession

- wally starts playing soccer in 7th grade. and for starting late, this kid is GOOD

- the boys fieldgoal one another. it’s awful (fieldgoaling: kicking eachother right up the ass when ur behind them. u also have to scream field goal. my middle school friends did this to eachother. highlight of middle tbh)

- especially wally he will field goal u in the middle of fucking no where it should be illegal. hoagie hides out in the bathrooms one day after teasing wally about kuki a little too much. as soon as he heard the start of the word “fiel-!” he ran

- they all carpool home together on fridays to hang out

#knd #codename kids next door #cknd #kids next door #gknd #stop the gknd #numbuh 3 #wallabee beetles #wally beetles #galactic kids next door #kuki sanban #numbuh 1 #numbuh 2 #numbuh 5 #nigel uno #hoagie gilligan jr #abby lincoln #abigail lincoln #knd headcanons #codename kids next door headcanons

[theitcharchives]

I don't know whether it's bc of being a writer or bc of fast associations in my brain or combinations of things

but I was minding my business and then I froze for about twenty seconds as the flash idea of a movie about two friends being out and about in like the countryside happy and talking of menial everyday things and then one slips and cracks their head open and dies, just like that. And the rest of the movie is the other friend dealing with the realisation of trauma and grief bc everyone else around them got the news and it was a tragedy and processed the funeral and deals with their own grief and sure, Dead One was there and then they aren't, but for Alive One it was really literally "they were there and in half a second they weren't and we were talking bullshit and making plans and just walking and being goofy and then it ended. We were talking and then we weren't. Half a second" and that has to impact your grief. It has to impact your timing. The rest of the movie the living friend hears the dead friend calling from the other room about the show restarting and it's so normal, and then the couch is empty when living friend gets to it. Dead friend is sitting at the table waiting for waffles and when living friend turns the table is empty. Living friend doesn't even feel grief, they don't feel anything but confusion that turns into disbelief and other people are mourning and questioning living friend's lack of reaction. And then the grief hits. Living friend has to deal with it. Living friend has to live. It was half a second and it'll last for a lifetime and more.

Look I don't know what the fuck happened. I can't write this, at least not at the moment, I don't have the necessary knowledge of the themes. It likely means something and I don't want to know what it is. Don't worry tho this is a normal tuesday where I get a random ass idea from thousands of little shards collected from my surroundings and it just, hits me. On my way to go get ink for the printer

#writeblr #writing #It likely has to do with realising I'm as much a product of my times as every other writer I had to study in school #and doing a quiz about monsters and the sky being gray and other things #anyway it's out of my head now and loose on the internet. good #writing ideas #update six hours later: i forgot the ink BUT i got chocolate

[gulliesforever]

god. one thing i LOVE about amir that he has no self preservation. i was thinking abt the episode GIRLS. specifically the moment where the 2 girls at the bar say amir looks better but amir is like - “um no its obviously jake ur wrong” and jake agrees…

it got me thinking…. Thinking about how much amir is willing to take for himself vs how much hes willing to go for jake, yknow? like amir gets mad sometimes when he perceives an “insult” but its not bc hes defending himself as much as he is acting out. but amir actively DEFENDS jake when it comes to some traits he doesnt even TRY to defend in himself - his looks(girls as mentioned, and subtle comments like Swag where hes like “i only hang out with the hottest guys”)… how people address jake (like in Ice Breakers, Bitcoin, jake’s sick). there are exceptions to defending jake but to me those arent really about something like jake’s personality/looks that he cant change, and more a reaction about how he treats amir (trust fall 2) or jake acting like J-Witz for other ppl (some insecure jake eps, esp the recent ones)

And for the most part he plays along with Jake being the better one of the two. Ace and Jocelyn… hes the SIDEKICK. “You consider me dumb!” In normal conversation. Going along with being the Troll Named Rod in Tiny Wings. APOLOGIZING TO JAKE IN CORDUROY PANT. In Table Read where ALL his main characters ARE JAKE…!! Small things like that. He KNOWS and WILLINGLY ACCEPTS his role as being the guy who gets beat up and looks like shit to everyone else because who CARES about their opinions when ONLY jake’s matters??

in a weird way, he’s entirely selfless. amir doesnt do things for the benefit of himself. like yeah. he has murderous tendencies. he hurts people. but all of it is either for attention (mainly to be able to tell a story to Jake), random insane urges(<3), or a form of like??? overdoing stuff which self sabotages him????? Which he’s aware of vaguely????

its just… amir holds such little value on his own appearance, life, and wellbeing to the point where he just doesn’t consider he matters. him being hurt and betrayed is another tuesday. But he would defend jake no matter what. because jake doesnt DESERVE that. and whys that? its because amir LOVES him. because amir loves jake and that CLEARLY means he deserves everything. all his self love goes to jake. even if it hurts him in the long run or makes him look dumb. yknow. because whatever. who cares. EVERYTHING hurts anyways and whats another day hurting himself??? And that fucking makes me INSANE.

#mirmir #jamir #thoughts within thoughts #long post #HE MAKES ME FEEL THINGS . #god. i love amir so much as a character. hes so WERIDLY romantic and sweet even tho hes the #WUOTE UNQUOTE worst ever man ro ever man #HES SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #UGH #hes just so good i love character w no self preservation #sorry for writing an essay on mirmir i will do it again<3 #you know im insane about a characrter when i start posting 2AM essays #i havent done this since grif and stan #this is a category 7 blorbo event. #laying awake at noght staring at the ceiling just thinking about how raw and unfiltered amirs love for jake is #its genuinely an unstoppable force of nature #like he CANNOT help it. #thats why i LOVE breakfast date. He just cannot contain himself st even the PROSPECT of eating next to jake #GOD. HES SOOOOO. FUCKKKKKJ )rips my hair out) #HES FOR ALL THE PEOPLE THAT WERE ‘TOO MUCH’ BECAUSE THEIR EMOTIONS

[lilragekitten]

After we lost the three kitties last year, Fury's being especially hard bc so unexpected, the house felt unbalanced only having DK and Little Miss. LM was very depressed. Kon was her soulmate and fury was her best buddy and she lost both within six months of eachother. She wasn't eating as much and was clingier than normal which I didn't think possible. But she also just didn't want to interact. Dk was just confused and sad bc LM didn't want to play with him and he had no one else to torment.

We decided to go look at a local rescue. There were a few cats I liked on the website and I esp wanted to meet a torti girl and a void boi. (Was also hoping for the 14yo senior gal or the one eyed bb tbh lol)

We met the first couple and just didn't click. Was told the other two had found homes so yay! And then we met the other forty cats there. And at the end we met Cher.

I had seen Chers picture online and she looked a bit goofy. She was said to be 4yo which was ideally the age we were looking for. She was so tiny, 7lbs. And when I pet her she did happy little tippy tap dance. I knew she'd been there for a while and they said that she had been out with all the other cats at some point and got along with everyone. Perfect. We brought her home. This was like 3/4pm on a Friday and I had work that night. Called to make a vet appt, which would be for I believe the Tuesday? Anyways.

She was at home right away.

This was within the hour of her being with us. She slept with me. She was so stinky. (Shelter stink, it took forever for her to get it out) look how happy. And the other two were intrigued. Kon was the gentlest bestest chillest cat to cat and would love EVERYONE. He must have taught DK that bc he took to her right away. Lm was a bit slower but we never had any issues or bad fights. I was so impressed.

Well turns out she's actually 6-9yo. Has a bunch of health issues LOL including a wonky hip/leg issue that makes her walk like she has CH (wobble cat syndrome) but she's the sweetest girl. And she's developed a massive attitude. She's become so spoiled in the last few months. We love her so much

I just wanted to share. We miss all our kitties very much, and sometimes still call out for one of them or go looking and random things makes us think about them, but having a new baby has been really nice. Doesn't erase the pain but it helps ease it a bit.

Also, picking a new name took forever. Literally two months. We finally picked Sydney, bc she loves to Scream at us.

Welcome home Sydney.

#happiness is a cat #adopted a lemon #senior kitty #tw pet death #adopted senior #void kitty #black cats are the best cats #screaming Sydney #stinky gremlin babey

[adelle-ein]

it's been. quite a week "lace it's tuesday" yes.

it's hard and weird when a relative you don't get along with dies, and you're supporting everyone else in their grief while biting your tongue. it's hard because my siblings don't actually remember her and say things about how much she loved us that aren't based in reality at all. they even called her "grandma" which she never went by. it's not a coincidence that me and my oldest cousin were the two grandchildren who chose not to speak at the funeral (because we were always the barricade standing in front of the younger ones to shield them from her, and he was very much her least favorite to boot.)

she'd been dying for years to be clear. my aunt was speculating and thinks she probably had dementia for an absolute minimum of the last sixteen years, and her physical health has been awful my whole life (she'd been on and off hospice for about five years? they'd put her on and then she'd live too long, they'd take her off, etc.) she just. would not die. like i think we're all really relieved she died, even the family members that really did love her, she just had no quality of life or anything anymore the last couple of years. but yeah hospice called and said she was going to die a week ago and they were actually right this time.

she was mean and horrible long before dementia though. the story my dad told at the funeral just made me think of how awful she was. and some of the other "funny" stories my family shared just horrified me. and it was the smallest funeral i've ever been to, we only just had a minyan. because nobody wanted to come because she had no living friends and drove off a lot of her family. some she outlived, some she just abused. the only person other than her sons' families who came was my great-uncle on my mother's side, who isn't related to and didn't know grandma (they might've met at weddings and b'nai mitzvahs if that?) but lived nearby and decided to come. and while i'm not his biggest fan it was very nice of him (and the only reason we had a minyan and didn't need to grab random funeral home staff. sigh.) we had a rent-a-rabbi bc my aunt and uncle's was booked and he kept trying to come up with like...things to say about her? generic grandma sentiments. that were generally wrong.

my aunt wanted us to divide up a box of grandma's costume jewelry she had (apparently she's had it for years but was too scared to divvy it up until grandma actually died since grandma has yelled at her for gold digging before. Yeah. goes without saying but aunt is not a gold digger in any way) and i'm thinking of the stuff i took as gifts from her, not from grandma, because like. i don't want stuff from grandma. but a lot of it is stuff my aunt made and stuff that's genuinely cute and i'll enjoy having i just have to like. separate it. and i got to see oldest cousin for the first time in years so that was nice. and my uncle's doing the best i've ever seen him for a number of reasons and my aunt seemed to be doing well too (and she and cousin both made me dairy free mandelbrot loaves haha) (and she addressed both me and my brother as graduates which is really sweet bc most family is straight up ignoring my graduation so far)

but you know. things are complicated life is complicated i'm gonna rant to my therapists and bite my tongue in front of family bc it really is the right thing to do

i am exhausted though after the stress of rushing out of state rushing to funeral rushing back planes cars being in florida which is my personal hell, blah blah, Travel Shit and concurrently dealing with some medication-obtaining issues and worrying about my conferral and falling behind on work and just not having time for therapy. sigh

#lacevent #txt

[classicschronicles]

Hi lovelies,

Okay so my first A-level is on Tuesday and it is the World of the Hero paper, basically the Iliad and the Aeneid. I was getting on with my Aeneid revision when I realised that, other than the fact that I am in love with him, I actually don’t know that much about Turnus. So today I’m going to try and write about Turnus in the hopes that it forces me to go and read up on him. (Also I need to revise my Homeric allusion and the comparisons between the Greek and Roman hero so imma throw that in too).

Okay so to start off with some basic info, Turnus is the Prince of the Rutilian Tribe and the leader of the antagonistic forces against the Trojans. Like all main heroes, he is a great warrior and superior to everyone else in combat. Now despite all of this, it is important to note that Turnus doesn’t actually want to fight. Let me explain.

Turnus is engaged to Lavinia, the princess of Latium, a neighbouring Italian tribe. Aeneas arrives and to cut a long story short her dad changes his mind and says “nah you’re gonna marry Aeneas instead”. Also random but Turnus is also meant to be the best looking of all the Italians, so smash ig. But anyways, when Aeneas steals his fiancé, Turnus doesn’t really care, he lets him have her and makes his peace with it because he knows there is nothing he can do against fate. However, surprise surprise, enter Juno. She’s all like “nawh come on I need someone to fight the Trojans bc I hate peace”, so she sends the Fury Alecto to infect Turnus with a lust for war. So anyways, he wakes up the next day and he’s like “hey that’s my fiancé” and proceeds to start the second Trojan war to win her back. If this sounds oddly familiar, it should.

The purpose of Turnus’ character in the second half of the Aeneid is very similar to Dido’s character in the first half. Like Dido, is an individual who has been corrupted by the gods- more specially Juno- and lacks any autonomy. Therefore, he follows what he thinks is his will to the point of excess. Much like Dido’s furor for lust, Turnus’ furor is militant. It is Turnus who then goes on to raise the flag of war and instigate chaos. When Alecto burns him with a desire for war he begins to exhibit multiple character flaws, such as disorder. His individualism is diametrically opposed to Aeneas who is dutiful and embodies pietas, supposedly.

Book 9 is truly the point where we get a sense of just how deep Alecto’s influence on Turnus is, as he becomes depraved and thirsty for blood. Any sense of the moral compass he demonstrated in book 7 is gone as he flaunts the death of his Trojan enemies by raising their heads on spears for all the Trojans to see. Aeneas, by the way, is missing for all of book 9 so Turnus has no equal and therefore becomes the most deadly man in the war. As soon as Turnus learns of Aeneas’ absence he leads his army towards the Trojan camp and when he can’t find a way in, he sets fire to their ships (the ships are immortal or some shit tho so they’re fine). Night then descends, and the Latins attack the Trojan fortresses. Turnus then sees a high tower standing just outside the main gate which he sets on fire and then they get in and kill a bunch of Trojans. The Trojans then chase the Latins away but when they seal the gates they accidentally lock Turnus inside with them. A Trojan is then like “you can’t win in the camp of your enemies”. To which Turnus then says this really arrogantly hot thing, ssshhhh I know he’s red flag but it’s like one of my favourite colours. Virgil writes, “Turnus replied, smiling calmly: ‘If there is any courage in you, then come and fight. You will soon be able to tell Priam that here too you found an Achilles!’”. Eventually he does realise that he is outnumbered and he escaped.

In book 10, Turnus carries on with his slaughter spree. Turnus spots Aeneas’ returning ships and leads his troops towards the beach so that he can confront them, battle commences. Pallas fights a little too well and attracts the attention of Turnus. Turnus challenges Pallas to a duel and Pallas, desperate to prove himself, agrees. There’s this really funny bit where he’s fighting Turnus but stops to ogle him (“Pallas marvelled at these proud commands and stood amazed at the sight of Turnus, running his eyes all over that mighty body,”- me too bro). There is then this great Homeric smilie about Turnus as a lion and Pallas a bull. Turnus kills Pallas and steals his sword belt, which is actually Aenas, as a prize. The stealing of the sword belt is the action that later seals his death. Again, if this is sounding a little familiar, it should. Aeneas hears about what Turnus has done and goes berserk, but Juno asks that Jupiter spare Turnus (he can’t do this but he does agree to prolong his life a little). Anyways, Juno created a phantom Aeneas and so Turnus goes chasing after it and follows it onto some ships which then set sail and send him away from Aeneas. This is that classic argument of are the gods self seeking? In this instance yes, Juno humiliates Turnus by making his follow a phantom Aeneas so that when he escapes he looks like a coward. She protects his physically, yes, but his honour is shot to pieces. Also she doesn’t actually care for Turnus, she just cares that he can keep fighting the Trojans.

So then book 11 rolls around. Messengers arrive from the Latin camp and ask for a 12 says truce so that both sides and can bury their dead. The Latins all think that Turnus should fight for Lavinia in single combat against Aeneas rather than risk any more deaths. A man called Drances blames the whole war on Turnus arrogance, at which point I wanna point out that Turnus is a baby girl and that non of this is his fault, but actually Juno and Alecto’s. Turnus, however, says that if the Latins want single combat then he will fight Aenas without fear. The way he says this, though, is very sarcastic and arrogant and exemplified how reckless he can be. But at this point, Trojans start marching towards the city so the Latins have to fight again.

Now the dreaded book 12. Turnus decides that he has to fight Aeneas in single combat, and when urged to surrender by Lavinia’s father he declines (again sound familiar?). Juno worries about Turnus because she thinks Aeneas might outmatch him and so she calls Juturna (Turnus’ divine sister) to watch out for her brothers safety. Juturna, however, doesn’t want her brother to fight in the duel and so she disguises herself as a Latin officer in order to break the truce and start all out war. Some stuff happens, Aeneas gets shot in the leg and has to leave and it gives Turnus some renewed hope. Aeneas returns to battle and both he and Turnus kill a lot of men. Turnus then hears cries of suffering from his fellow Italians and calls for the Trojan siege of Latium to end, and for the duel to commence. Okay so quick play by play, Aeneas and Turnus toss sears, Turnus sword breaks at the hilt, Turnus runs from Aeneas, Juturna gives him a real sword. Aeneas then casts a spear which hits Turnus in the leg and Turnus tumbles to the ground. He begs Aeneas for mercy in the name of his father. Aeneas is prepared to show mercy, but remember that sword belt I mentioned earlier. Well Aeneas sees the sword belt and then goes batshit insane and kills Turnus on his knees whilst he begs for mercy.

Okay so now some quick analysis, because apparently I have to be able to do that. The characterisation of Turnus is interesting in that is mirrors Dido. We as readers admire both leaders in the few pages that we see them before they are plagued by the gods. The branding of Turnus with lust for war strips his of any autonomy and from that point in book 7 onwards he looses any semblance of his own characteristics. He goes from being clement and diplomatic to being bloodthirsty and arrogant. And yet, the reader is never truly able to hate him. Much like Dido, we may tire of him sometimes but we always keep a trace of admiration and at times, awe or pity. For example, whilst me may not agree with his actions in the Trojan camp, one cannot deny that they were impressive. But the relief one usually feels when reading about the death of Turnus was not present in Turnus’ death. At that moment in time we feel sorrow for him and admiration that, despite knowing he would not win, he still fought Aeneas. There is one suggestion that Turnus is the anti-hero. The villain we cannot hate, and often find ourselves liking more than the actual hero. That is certainly true for Turnus as there are times that the reader cannot stand Aeneas, for example his human sacrifice and murder of Mezentius in book 10.

The other thing that is really interesting about Turnus is trying to decipher the Homeric allusions that Virgil was trying to demonstrate. Every time I say ‘sounds familiar’ it’s because it is Virgil’s way of making throwbacks to the Iliad. So for example, Turnus (Hector) taking Pallas (Patroclus) sword belt/ armour that belonged to Aeneas (Achilles). But the thing that I find really interesting is the way that Virgil does it. When we read the Iliad, sure there are times when he winds us up, but we don’t hate Achilles at any point. We understand his rampage against the Trojans, we understand (although we might not agree with it) why he did what he did to Hector. But when it comes to Aeneas, do we really even find him that likeable? To be honest, I don’t think so, although your opinion might be different. But a lot of the reason I think for my point of view is because of the characterisation of both Pallas and Turnus as parallels of Patroclus and Hector respectively. What I mean by that is when we read about the death of Pallas it is not nearly as emotional as the death of Patroclus. We see the relationship between Achilles and Patroclus, even in death, we spend 16 books of the epic getting to know Patroclus. Whereas, when it comes to Pallas, we know him for about 2 books before he is killed. His character is not developed in the same way. And that’s not to say that Virgil isn’t capable of creating the same level of sorrow, I mean think of the deaths of Nisus and Euryalus who were mentioned all of twice. In all honesty, I think Virgil did this deliberately.

Then there is the question of Turnus and Hector. We feel an immense amount of sympathy for both, but even still we understand Achilles actions far more than Aeneas. Hector stripped Patroclus of his armour, tried to keep the body for the Trojans, flaunts the armour of Achilles, and he does this all of his won accord, not because he is being used by the gods. Turnus, on the other hand, whilst he does take a prize, he doesn’t strip Pallas bare, he simply takes a sword belt. Turnus returns the body to Pallas’ father, he allows 12 days for burial, and on top of that, non of this was of his own will.

I think ultimately, a lot of it comes down to the characterisation of Greek and Roman heroes. Where a Greek hero fights for personal fame and glory and honour, the Roman hero is not as equally motivated by the spoils of war, but rather pietas (duty to the gods, family, and country). And therefore, when Turnus fights we see him as fighting for his people and giving life for his people (roman word- devotio).

Basically, Turnus big slay I love him and icl it is too late for me to say anything more intelligent than that. If you’re still here I hope you learned something new or at least enjoyed my ramblings. Hope you all have a lovely rest of your weekend <3

~Z

#classical studies #classics #dark acamedia #greek mythology #ancient rome #roman mythology #ancient greece #ancient world #history #hellenic deities #the aeneid #turnus #hes so babygirl #a levels #killing me #not softly

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

well I've had an interesting first week of the year back at work. I managed to get through to my usual doctor this week, which is a bit of a miracle, considering she's always back late jan/early feb each year. she's recommended 3 places for me to ring to follow up on a probable ADHD diagnosis. the best one is one in Sydney, in Bondi.

but to do all of their tests would mean I'd try to jam them into a week, if I could (probs not let's be real), or each time I do one I spend on a hotel room to stay up there, since I just wouldn't feel bothered to the 2 hour drive home after 8 hours of tests. but the Sydney one gives you a brain scan which would be super cool. but also if you managed to get bulk billed, it's $1,200. also they don't focus on meds, they focus on "brain based" and behaviour change stuff.

the other 2 places are local to my area, but you have to ring to find out their prices. but on the other hand, my doc said to leave all this stiff until after I have my colonoscopy that's booked for a couple weeks from now, on the 16th.

work is better since I'm not at a tired low point like I was at the end of last year. my boss is a bit happier that I'm turning up at the office at around 8:50 roughly and set up by 9. but yeah I hate having to cut my pre work bed relax after my bath each morning to 7:15 to get out the door by 8;20. but rn 8:20 is only working bc it's the school holidays so I'm not locked into the mronjng school run traffic and school zones right next to my house (basically). so it means I will have to bother to leave at 8:15 or whatever when school starts back up again on jan 31st.

but yeah. I still haven't handed in any of my unfinished (or unstarted) cadestship assessments; bc I forgot right before we left of chrissy/NY break to ask our outsourced IT guys to set up our VPN access app (it just gives you a code to type in) on my phone to access the work hard drive at home lmao. so I've meant to start this week, but I just haven't.

aside from work, the other interesting thing is that someone from the catholic school I went to for years 7-10 from 2008 til 2011, decided to invite me to a 10 year reunion that someone else from our year group from that school set up on Tuesday on fb for October this year. and I was just so surprised that someone bothered to remember me and invite me.... and I feel kinda touched tbh lol. bc i didn't even graduate with them properly, in a way, in 2013, bc I obvs graduated at the public school that I transferred to. it's so random that someone thought to invite me all these years later.

and I'm also stressing over the event a little. mostly on the level of what to wear to it, obvs lmao. but also, most of these people are successful working in good jobs. or they run their own successful local businesses/take over their parentd businesses.

while, on the other hand. I finish my cadetship in march, and I have no idea whether i'll be kept on where I am or whether I'll be somewhere else or jobless lmao. but anyway. it's going to be so weird seeing anyone from that school again, when half of them have kids and are married now or some have even divorced or split from their partners that they married in our early 20s (or at least that's what I've deduced from their name changes on fb back to their original last name I knew them by in school).

also im bitterly jealous of a few of them because they've bought their first house or have a second house and are using their first as an investment property. like bruh. am I the only one who still hasn't moved out of home yet??? and obvs there are obvs other people renting but still. am i the only one still at home??? I don't want questions about that tbh.

like is it even worth catching up with these people, when I still remember the derision I got from one of the girls from my group from that school, when I ran into her at uni back in 2016??? how she told me that everyone was actually SO GLAD that I'd left bc apparently they were all secretly harbouring embarrassment for my behaviour and my "attention seeking" or whatever the fuck she said to me???? but also part of me hopes that rich boy goes and is happy to see me and I'll get to congratulate him in person on his engagement or perhaps being married by the time this event happens (if it even does lmao). and that's my other thing. could just be an elaborate joke where they do this, and I turn up, but NO ONE is there???? like hello trust issues, aren't you looking very sexy this week.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona's work thoughts

[shetheyshenanigans]

All these lines in books like “she died on a random Tuesday” like fuck that noise this family PLANS their death days

My grandad died four years ago and the last week of his life, he knew he was dying, like he wasn’t well and he was 95 he knew it was time to go. And he decides “okay I’m just gonna close my eyes on Saturday and slip away” bc that Saturday would be ninety years to the day his mother died.

My granny died yesterday right? She’s been sick for these past few weeks and she took a turn last Friday. She’s been unconscious since Saturday and every day people would be like “I think it’ll happen today” and it never did until yesterday. You know why? Because she’s going to be buried tomorrow on Friday the 13th. She loved Friday the 13th bc 13 was her lucky number and she thought it was funny that everyone else said Friday the 13th was bad luck. So she’s gonna be buried on a Friday the 13th.

A random day, uh no, there was thought involved in this death

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

how to fake date your best friend | jake sim

✰ summary: the rules were simple -

pretend to be the boyfriend of you, his best friend who wants the attention of their crush, for a week and a week only

no kissing (bc gross cooties amirite) allowed, unless needed in times of desperate measure 

and no matter what, absolutely, most definitely, do not fall in love. 

simple, right?

well apparently not. because news flash––jake's already broken one of the rules. 

and to give you a hint, it's neither rule 1 or 2.

✰ pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. members of enha!] 

✰ genre: fluff, comedy | fakingdating!au, highschool!au, bestfriend!au, friends to lovers

✰ warnings: cursing, high-schoolers doing dumb highschool things, underage drinking (pls don’t actually do any of this irl), jake being a certified simp, it’s LONG (i’m so sorry), cheesy kithes bc im a sucker for kithes ( ˘ ³˘)♥

✰ wc: a whopping 9.5k

✰ a/n: it’s finally finished :’)))))) it ended up being much longer than i wanted but i had so much fun writing the characters that i got carried away lolol anywaysss i hope you guys enjoy it,,,i got a little unmotivated during the process bc i didn’t know if it was good or not but here it is heh (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡ 

Tuesday, December 8th

Jake Sim lives a simple life. 

He likes to think he leads the normal, stereotypical life of a teenage boy. Has decent grades, plays soccer after school, skateboards around the neighborhood, has a best friend who he’s desperately in love with, and has a stable group of friends. 

Okay, maybe not so simple, because this boy would physically launch himself to the moon and drill at its surface to collect moon dust for you if you asked him to––despite his deadly fear of combusting in outer space. 

But that fear doesn’t even compare to his worst one yet: not having you in his life. 

And so, he decided to just repress any and all feelings he’s had for you ever since he discovered them in middle school, when he realized he hated seeing you go to the eighth grade dance with a date––that wasn’t him. 

He decided that he wasn’t going to risk losing a life-long friendship over some dumb, teenage boy feelings. 

They were probably powered by his testosterone anyways. Yeah, that’s totally it.

He’s totally not in love with you. 

So yes, he lives a pretty normal life. Every day is the same as the last, and tomorrow will be the same as today. But he likes it like that––he doesn’t want anything to change. 

Especially not now, when he finds himself content with every aspect of his life (okay maybe except for his history grade, god, does he hate history). 

So, it catches him off guard when you arrive at the group’s usual lunch table, located outside in your school’s courtyard, looking as excited as ever. 

Jake’s the only one at the table so far. The remaining usually showed up late––Heeseung spends his first half of lunch tutoring freshmen for community service hours (but the poor boy has no idea what he’s doing), Sunghoon is probably stuck in line in the cafeteria again (he always forgets to pack his own lunch), and Jay is...well actually, no one ever knows where Jay comes from. He’s a special one. 

It catches Jake even more off guard when you skip over any greeting a normal person would give, and start speaking at one hundred words per second. 

And that catches us up to the present.

“Y-You want me to what?” Jake’s stuttering as you stare at him with your hopeful eyes from across the lunch table. 

Despite the expression planted on your face, which screams your excitement for your “brilliant, amazing, genius, Einstein-could-never” idea (or whatever other words you used to describe it––Jake can’t exactly recall the specific terms you used, they all came out of your mouth too fast), you don’t respond to his question of bafflement. You continue to stare at him, awaiting his response. Jake could compare the look on your face right now to a puppy looking up at its owner, eagerly waiting for a treat. You know, tongue out and all. 

He swallows the lump that’s lodged in this throat (is that the sandwich he’s having, or his nerves?) and continues to give you his look of confusion laced with a nervous smile because surely, you’re joking. 

You grab what’s left of your sandwich from his hands and take your own bite. Somewhere in between you arriving at the table and now, Jake’s managed to steal the sandwich you brought today. You did make the best chicken sandwiches, in his defense. 

“Well? It’s only for the week! And I promise you, after one week, if nothing happens––if he doesn’t make a move or anything––I’ll move on from him like you’ve been telling me to.” Your words are muffled from you savoring your sandwich, or what’s left of it anyways. (Mental note to self: don’t share your lunch with Jake ever again.) 

When Jake still doesn’t respond (you’ve truly gotten this poor boy paralyzed), you find it as a sign to continue. 

“I think it’s the perfect plan. Plus, if it doesn’t work out, it’ll be like the universe is telling me to finally move on, right?” 

Wrong. 

Jake has been encouraging you to move on from your crush because well, if we’re being honest here, he selfishly wants you to himself. Even if it wasn’t romantically.

Preferably, he would kill to get to be the one who holds your hand in the hall, call you cheesy pet names, post disgustingly cute couple pics for the ‘gram––but for the sake of potentially ruining his relationship with you, he’ll just have to settle with the role of being your best friend. 

(And he’s totally fine with that! Totally. Yup.) 

But he didn’t think that you moving on would only be a mere possible outcome (that may not even happen!) from whatever this stunt is you wanna pull. 

Said stunt: Pretend to date one another and hope it catches the eye of a certain someone you have your eye on: Park Sunghoon. 

Ah yes, Park Sunghoon. The previously mentioned one who’s probably still in line waiting to get his lunch as we speak. 

Park Sunghoon, the tall, kind, intelligent, charming young boy that everyone knows. And if anyone didn’t know him, they most definitely knew of him. He wasn’t hard to miss in the halls; everything about him just radiates perfection. 

If you plucked a random high-schooler from the halls of this school and interviewed them on the Park Sunghoon, they’d say you’d be lucky enough if the quiet boy so much as sparked a conversation with you, even if it was about what last night’s chemistry homework was. 

Well if that were true, then you and the rest of the boys would be considered lottery winners. 

How that happened, how the four of you dysfunctional beings earned his friendship, the world may never know. However, Jake is fully convinced that this was the universe’s way of playing a cruel joke on him. 

For as long as Jake could remember, it’s always been just the two of you. You and Jake. Jake and you. (With the exception of Heeseung and Jay, of course, who came along in middle school) 

In fact, your earliest memory of Jake was when he peed his pants in the kindergarten during nap time. You would know, you had the privilege of sharing a sleeping mat with him that one fateful day and in result...let’s just say the smell didn’t wear off from your clothes until a week later. Five-year-old you didn’t forgive five-year-old Jake for the longest time. 

And since then, you’ve been attached by the hip. And Jake liked it like that. Jake didn’t need anyone else in his life (with the exception of Leila) if he had you. He had found his home within you, and he didn’t plan on sharing his space anytime soon. 

Nevertheless, the universe had a completely different idea for the two of you. 

Sunghoon came into the picture last year, towards the end of the school year. Despite being the new kid, he found his way into your cherished friend group and naturally, the five of you grew as close as friends could be. 

That was the problem. Jake wanted to hate Sunghoon, to despise him for being the one that you had heart eyes for, but he couldn’t. 

Not only was Sunghoon one of Jake’s closest friends, but he didn’t want to ruin the dynamic of the friend group. After you, the three chaotic boys were the next most important people in Jake’s life. 

And so, we have the typical love triangle plot that every coming-of-age movie follows. Of course, this is all unbeknownst to you––you may be intelligent and a people-person, but oh boy can you not see the heart eyes your very own best friend has for you. 

“It’ll be easier than you think, really! Look, we can even set boundaries or rules or whatever,” you propose, as if you’re trying to get him to sign a contract. 

Rules to a fake relationship? We’re not living in a Netflix romcom, are we? 

“Okay rule number 1: it’ll only be for a week and a week only, rule number 2: we don’t have to do anything too couple-ly like...” you pause to wonder for a second. 

“Like PDA or anything! You know, unless we really need to convince him,” you casually add. When he responds with radio silence and stares at you with absolute concern painted all over his face, you cough. “Jake, I’m joking.” 

Right. Of course. Obviously. 

“And of course, just try not to fall in love with me, it’ll be hard, I know,” you send a playful wink his way. 

Too late. Turns out it’s not that hard. Jake would know. 

Jake continues to stare at you in hesitation. Yeah, you’ve had your fair share of crazy ideas (that Jake always find himself agreeing to––the poor boy just can’t seem to say no to you), but fake dating you?

Jake is sure he wouldn’t be able to pull it off without slowly destroying himself. He’d just have to say no, he’s sure you can find someone else to do it for you. 

Yes, that’s it, just say no. 

Jake has to keep some of his pride in tact. 

Jake does not say no. 

He doesn’t know what went wrong. His mind said one thing, but his words said another. 

To be fair, Jake’s actions have always been influenced by his heart, not his brain, anyways. And when it comes to you, you bet it’ll be coming from his heart. 

So here he was now, under the stare of three equally shocked and confused guys across from you and him at the lunch table, your fingers intertwined with his.

Just a few seconds ago, you had spotted the rest of the lunch bunch approaching the table, and you quickly grabbed Jake’s hand and scooted in closer to him.  

Now here you were, explaining to your friends of your sudden relationship.  

Jake is too zoned out to even physically pick up your explanation. Something along the lines of "we’ve been dating for a while but didn’t want to tell you guys yet." From the feeling of your hand clutched tightly into his and your body right up next to him, his mind was short-circuiting. 

How is he supposed to last an entire week of this if he couldn't handle innocent hand holding? Hand holding? God, what are we, back in the fifth grade?  

Two minutes into this scheme and Jake's mind has already downgraded itself to a fifth grader's.  

Jake mentally scolds himself for giving in, this was not a good idea. 

It takes Jake approximately 12 hours to conclude that this stunt of yours may, actually, be a good idea. He knows this because approximately 12 hours after the events surrounding lunch, he receives a text from you: 

y/n [12:03AM]: thanks again for doing this for me jake

y/n [12:03AM]: ur actually the best

y/n [12:04AM]: ew ok that was cheesy but really i owe u a big one <333

Following your thread of texts is a really close up photo of you widely smiling into the camera. A smile so big, Jake’s convinced your face was probably in pain after taking that picture. 

Anyone else might’ve thought the photo looked borderline insane but because Jake’s Jake, aka a simpᵗᵐ for you, he comes to the conclusion that it’s singlehandedly the cutest thing he’s ever seen in the entire world. 

After quickly saving the selfie into his phone, Jake tells himself that maybe this won’t be a bad thing after all. I mean, anything that makes you smile like that meant it has to be a good idea, right? 

Spoken like a true simp. 

Plus, dating you––fake dating you––is pretty much the same as it was before. He already spends most of his days with you to begin with. Now, it’s just with added displays of affection. For show, obviously. Obviously. 

And look, if Jake will never get to actually be with you, then he’ll take what he can get. And if that meant fake dating you, well, he reasons that it’s better than nothing at all. 

Wednesday, December 9th 

Jake’s playing with the rings on your right hand and you’re in the middle of dramatically telling the lunch table about the infuriating Karen you had to deal with at work the other day when Jay comes up with a grin you all know a little too well. 

“Okay that grin means one of two things: you finally grew the balls to ask out that poor girl you’ve been teasing all year or you have something planned that we won’t like,” you interrupt your story when you catch Jay’s sly expression, evoking a chuckle from Jake, who’s now found a new distraction with the bracelets perches on your wrist. 

“Excuse you, I’ll have you know that I did ask her out. It just so happens that she’s currently ‘in between boyfriends’ whatever that means. Ouch, by the way,” Jay feigns hurt from your comment by clutching the area above his heart through his shirt. Ever the drama queen. “But yes, I do have something planned. And no, it’s not a bad idea.” 

Jay squeezes his way in between Sunghoon and Heeseung from across you and begins to pull out his own lunch. Everyone’s eyes follow him as he settles in because as bad as his unknown idea may be, you’re all still curious on what this boy has to say. 

“Well are you going to elaborate or...” Heeseung speaks up for everyone after you all mentally debate one another through darting eyes on who’s going to have to bite Jay’s silent bait.

Jay then forcefully sets both hands on his table, which elicits a little jump from you as you go for a bite of your sandwich. Adorable, Jake tells himself. 

“My parents are out of town this weekend. We all know what that means...” 

Yes. We do know what that means. The four of you have seen this scenario play out many times, a little too many times for your own good. 

This meant one of Jay’s infamous house parties that he always throws whenever his parents go out of town. And because his parents are hot-shot CEOs of an important company whose name you don’t remember (it’s nothing personal, your brain can only handle so much information and this physics exam you were studying for took up 90% of your brain capacity at the moment), they’re out of town often. 

And along with Jay’s parties comes chaos. Lots of it. And that’s because...well, it’s safe to say that despite the many school-wide presentations the police officers of your school have held in the auditorium on why you shouldn’t drink underage, Jay’s parents’ liquor cabinet always seems to find itself missing many a few bottles after each party. But we don’t talk about that. Shush. 

Almost simultaneously, everyone at the table lets out a groan, much to Jay’s disappointment. 

“C’mon guys! It’s been a while since anything’s fun happened to this school, think of all the sad students in that building right now,” he extends a finger whole-ass arm and points at your school, “who are in dire need of fun and a little...” he punctuates his sentence with the hand motion of chugging down a drink, followed with a gulping sound elicited from his tongue clicking. 

You roll your eyes along with everyone else. Don’t be like Jay, kids. Listen to those police officers. 

“Jay, it’s midterm season! I have an exam on Monday and I definitely do not want to spend the nights before wasted,” you give him an apologetic look. As crazy as Jay is, you do feel bad nonetheless. The boy just wants to have fun. 

Your response is followed up with similar comments from around the table. 

“I’m helping y/n study” 

“I have an important skating performance on Sunday” 

“Uh...my hamster died?” (ok Heeseung panicked, don’t blame the guy)

Ignoring that last excuse of an excuse, Jay continues his debate nonetheless. “Just come for the sake of it! No one’s saying you have to get wasted. Pleaseeee for me?” 

Jay throws these parties so often, you’re not sure why he’s so set on making sure you’re all going to be there. Well, I guess who wouldn’t want their closest friends to be at their own party? 

That and, Jay needs to make sure his friends are there to stop him from doing anything stupid. We all know this boy has had enough embarrassing moments to last him a lifetime. 

Everyone at the table gives each other the same hesitant look. Heeseung is the first to give in, “Oh fuck it. Sure, count me in.” 

Jay’s fist pumping the air before turning to Sunghoon with the most hopeful eyes. 

Sunghoon simply sighs in return. “Alright okay, I’ll bite. But if you vomit on my shoes again, I’m out the door.” Jay’s finger is automatically drawing a cross over his heart as a promise to not ruin Sunghoon’s Nikes again. 

He then looks to you with puppy eyes. 

You, who's already staring back at Jay with a stoic look in your eyes, are stubborn and (unlike the previous weaklings) are not as easy to convince. And somehow, this began an unannounced staring contest between the two of you, a contest to see who would budge first. This isn't an uncommon occurrence between you and Jay, but the rest of the boys are still on the edges of their seats watching this duel.

Jake casually wraps an arm around your shoulder and you’re brought in close, but still undeterred from your death-stare match with the boy across from you. 

If it’s not obvious enough, Jake’s really gotten into his role of being your boyfriend, despite it only being 24 hours since he last froze at your touch. Character development, you’ll give him that. 

You almost forget he’s faking it for a quick second. And for an even quicker second, you imagine he wasn’t faking it. And you swear you feel butterflies in your stomach at that thought. 

Weird. 

You mentally shake the thought out of your head. Priorities first, aka, beating Jay in this staring contest. 

“Fuck,” you stutter when you finally blink, admitting defeat to a grinning Jay. “Okay, okay, I’ll THINK about it. I’ll let you know.” 

Not exactly the answer Jay was looking for, but he’ll take it. Better than a no. 

He turns to Jake next, knowing there’s no way Jake will turn down a party. Just like Jay, the boy loves himself a good party. 

But–

But because Jake would take your physics exam this Monday for you if you asked, because Jake would bungee jump in the Grand Canyon without a safety net below him if you asked, because Jake would fake date you to make your crush jealous for you if you asked, he doesn’t hesitate in his answer this time around: “Same as y/n, I’ll let you know.” 

Jay looks at Jake. Then back at you, who he’s still clinging onto like a koala to a tree. Then back at Jake. “You two are gross. Admittedly cute. But gross.” 

You look up at the boy next to you to see him already grinning at you. 

For the first time today, you find yourself agreeing with Jay. 

Admittedly cute. 

Thursday, December 10th 

You are having a bad day. 

You’re having the mother of bad days. 

Not only is it midterm season, but you still have all your regular weekly assignments to finish before Friday hits. So as a natural-born procrastinator does, you stayed up all last night trying to get a good amount of work done because what’s better than cramming all your work the night before it’s due? Doing it two nights before it’s due. 

Well apparently it wasn’t such a good idea. Because now, here you were, frantically throwing on whatever articles of clothing you find nearest to you because you slept through all your alarms. 

You’re lucky enough to make it through your school’s doors right as the second bell rings, even if you did look like you just walked straight out of a zombie apocalypse. 

You’re not so lucky when you find out your first class of the day, calculus, had a pop quiz. A pop quiz on the only unit you just happened to know absolutely nothing about. 

To top things off, you forgot to pack your lunch during this morning’s frenzy, meaning you’re automatically stuck sharing with Jake.

And because his mother started making him pack his own food out of a lesson of responsibility (she said something along the lines of: “Jake, you’re about to be in college and you don’t know how to pack a decent meal”), he only has a plain PB&J sandwich and a pack of Scooby-Doo gummies in his bag today (because newsflash, he still doesn’t know how to pack a decent meal). 

Not that you could care less at the moment, you were too preoccupied with catching up on your assignments to even eat. And if any of the boys noticed your zombie-like state during lunch, they did a good job of not mentioning it. They knew better than to bother an irritated y/n. 

Somehow, you make it through the entire school day and your after-school meeting for environmental club (save the trees!) in one piece. As you finally walk out of the school building, you exhale, automatically feeling lighter. At least the hard part of your day was done. 

Now you just had to wait for Jake to finish soccer practice, which usually ended around the same time as your club, and he can drive you home, where you can continue being irritated with your day in the privacy of your own space. 

You wait on the steps of the school’s entrance, waiting for a smiley Jake to come around the corner as he usually does at 5:30pm every Thursdays. 

Yes, a smiling Jake is exactly what you needed to make your day ten times better, you conclude. 

As if on cue, you hear a ding from your phone. 

Jake [5:30PM]: ugh coach is extending practice for “team bonding” 

Jake [5:30PM]: idek what team bonding is 

Jake [5:31PM]: you ok if i cant drive you today? :// 

It’s as if the universe decided to use you as its punching bag today. 

You physically let out a distorted groan, not caring if anyone who happened to hear you thought you were a creature from out of this world, as you send him a text back.

y/n [5:32PM]: it’s all good lol have fun with tEaM bOnDiNg

Things were not all good. But no matter how upset you may be, you weren’t going to project your negative vibes onto Jake’s naturally positive ones. So you get up from the stone steps and begin your dreaded walk back home. 

It’s freezing out. You should’ve known better to just throw on a hoodie and call it a day when it’s the middle of December. But then again, you figured by now you’d be in the comfort and warmth of Jake’s car and presence...not walking home in these freezing temperatures. 

You think about Jake and how he’s probably currently suffering from not only his team bonding exercises (but really though, what are team bonding exercises?), but doing them in this weather as well. The poor boy. 

You’re quickly broken out of your thoughts by the sound of a car engine from behind you. When you don’t see it pass by you and instead hear it pull over and park next to the curb of the sidewalk you’re currently on, you automatically deduce that this is it, this is my time, I’m about to get kidnapped by whoever it is behind me but y/n, you should probably turn around and check first before you drive yourself insane in this inner dialogue. 

You turn around and squint into the front window of the car. If it were a kidnapper, this is exactly what your mother told you not to do. Her exact words were: “Run, don’t look back, and scream bloody murder.” 

Good thing it wasn’t. Just an innocent Sunghoon waving his hand at you, motioning you to get in. 

“Sunghoon?” You approach his car and stop at the passenger side’s open window. 

“y/n! It’s freezing out, I’ll drive you home c’mon,” he nods his head towards the passenger side door. 

Well, how could you say no? Sunghoon owns a nice car. Like a nice car. Like car-seat-heaters-that-make-you-feel-like-you’re-physically-melting nice. Beats getting hypothermia outside, right? 

“Why are you going home from school so late?” You ask as you settle into his car, instantly melting at the touch of the aforementioned heated seats. 

“Debate club, actually. Decided I needed another personality trait other than ice skating,” he starts the engine and begins driving towards the direction of your neighborhood. 

You laugh at his comment, you didn’t peg him as a debate kind of student. Quiet Sunghoon? Debate club? If 2 plus 2 is four...

“Hey, I don’t call you the Ice Prince for nothing! Also, don’t forget your other personality trait: forgetting your lunch every day.” 

Sunghoon quickly glances over at you to send you a dirty look (because eyes on the road, kids!), which you return with a cheeky grin. “Need I remind you that was you today?” 

“Touché,” you click your tongue. 

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the faint sound of Sunghoon's music in the background filling in the quietness.  

You’re humming along until Sunghoon breaks the silence, “Did Jake get stuck at practice again?” 

You don’t know why, but you swear you feel your heart beat faster at the mention of Jake’s name. No, that was always there right? Because you were with Sunghoon...your crush..obviously. Obviously. 

Ignoring the feeling, you turn your attention towards the boy driving you. 

“Oh yeah, something about team bonding. How’d you know?” 

“Eh, I just figured since he wasn’t driving you home like he always does.” He turns into your neighborhood. 

You nod at his answer. 

“You two make a good couple.” 

You whip your head at him. Did you hear him correctly?

“It was about time, really. You two have been ogling at one another for so long, Heeseung, Jay, and I almost placed bets on who would be the first to make a move.” 

He keeps his eyes on the road, casually going on about how you and Jake make the cutest couple he’s ever seen. 

You're frozen, unsure of what to think, let alone say. 

You think to two days ago, when you started this entire fake relationship because of the very boy driving you home right now. The same boy who's complimenting you on your fake relationship. The same boy who's supposed to be jealous over that said relationship. The same boy you’re supposed to be crushing over.

But now...only a mere 48 hours later, you were finding yourself okay with the fact that he was happy for you. And for the life of you, you couldn’t remember why you liked Sunghoon in the first place. Not saying he isn’t one to be crushed on, I mean, look at the guy. 

Maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the fact that you didn't feel nervous or giddy or..anything at all when you got into the car with Sunghoon. At least, not until Jake's name was mentioned. That's when you felt the butterflies. At the mention of Jake.  

Jake. 

Weird. 

But before you can come to a conclusion on why you're feeling the way you do, Sunghoon interrupts your thoughts.  

"Well, we're here! Say hi to your parents for me," he pulls into your driveway as you're still collecting your thoughts.  

You give him a quick thanks and one last wave as you enter the front doors of your house.  

Seeing that your only solution towards confusing feelings meant distracting yourself, distract yourself you did.  

Even if it meant distracting yourself with your piling assignments.  

The next time you look up from your work, it's suddenly way past sundown and a heavy storm has taken over. You’re surprised it hasn’t started flooding yet with the amount of rainfall you were hearing. 

You check the time on your phone, the bright 8:16PM on the screen illuminating your dimly lit room. Seeing that neither of your parents have yet to be home from work, it looks like you were going to have to settle with some instant ramen for dinner tonight.  

As you trudge down the stairs of your home, the sound of light knocking against the front door catches your attention. It's been a long day y/n, you're probably hearing things, it's definitely just the rain.

Nope. There it is again, but much louder. Much more urgent.  

You contemplate any and all potential disasters that could happen from answering the door. Only a crazy person would be willing to go out in this hurricane-like weather to be frantically knocking on your door.  

And so, you assume it has to be some psychopath trying to get into your house. Yes, there’s definitely no other logical explanation. 

You scramble around your living room, looking for the next best weapon to defend you. Resorting to the flower vase your mother keeps on the table next to the front door, you hold it out in front of you, as if you're waiting for the door to burst open.  

The knocking continues, gradually getting louder. You mentally curse at yourself for dropping out of the taekwondo class your dad signed you up for when you were younger.  

Vase in hand, you swing open the door and brace for–

"Jake? What the fuck? Get in here, you're gonna get sick!"  

You’re suddenly aware of how stupid you look, holding a light pink vase with a couple of orchids as your only form of self-defense...for it to only be your own best friend. You immediately put it back on the table as Jake quickly rushes past you and into your humble abode.  

You close the door behind you and turn to face the soaked boy.  

“I come bearing gifts, also known as take-out and hot chocolate from that one cafe you love. Also my company, if you’ll take it. I had a feeling you weren’t having the best day today,” he’s simply standing there, holding up a large brown paper bag in one hand, and a deliciously smelling cup of hot chocolate in the other, but you’re looking at him as if he bought you the Moon. 

You stare in awe at the angel of a boy in front of you, silently thanking the stars for gifting you this amazing human being as your best friend. You don’t know what you did to deserve him. 

You give him a soft smile. “Jake, you didn’t have to. It’s practically a shitstorm out there,” you cock your head towards the window, showcasing the downpour of cats and dogs outside. Jake stays by the entrance as you go down the hall and through your house’s linen closet to find a spare towel for the drenched boy.

“Nah it’s no big deal, really. Just fulfilling my duties as your loyal boyfriend,” he grins, even though you can’t see him. He likes calling himself that. Your boyfriend.

Jake continues to shake his messy hair to get the excess rain off, giving a mental apology to whoever is going to have to mop up the puddle forming on the floor due to his unannounced visit. Probably you. 

Jake hears you laugh down the hall. “You’re really invested in your role, huh? Keep this up and you might actually trick me into believing you’re my actual boyfriend.” 

Actual boyfriend? Jake likes the sound of that. Maybe he will keep this up then.

Jake doesn’t have much experience in acting, unless you count that time he played the role of Town Villager #3 in the third grade play, so he never found it as one of his interests. But playing the role of your boyfriend was one he was willing to fulfill for the rest of life, even if it was just for show. 

Jake doesn’t respond to your comment, he’s instead self-aware of his blushing cheeks, thankful that you’re too busy rummaging through your linen closet to take notice. 

“Plus, you didn’t have lunch today and I had feeling you were going to be too caught up in your work to feed yourself anything other than instant ramen,” he sets down his gifts to you on your living room’s coffee table as you come around the corner, fresh towel and new set of clothes in hand. 

His eyes fall on the familiar looking pair of sweatpants and hoodie resting on the palms of your hands. 

Hm. A little too familiar. 

Then, it clicks in his head. 

His eyes narrow at you as you giggle at his reaction, “Oh, so it takes me getting drenched in the rain for you to finally return my clothes that I’ve been missing!?” 

“Hey! I’m not returning them, simply loaning them out to a friend who’s in dire need. You basically gifted them to me the second you left them here months ago.” 

“You’re annoying.” 

“Love you too,” you toss the clothes at him and take a seat on the floor around your coffee table, prepping the table with the boxes of Chinese food Jake supplied. 

After Jake changes into the stolen dry clothes, he takes a seat next to an already-eating you at the coffee table. 

“You. are. my lord and savior Sim Jaeyun,” you’re saying with your mouth full of fried rice. You sigh from satisfaction and rest your head against Jake’s shoulder as you continue chewing. He grins as he helps himself to his own serving of fried rice and orange chicken. 

You look up at him from your spot, “How was team bonding today?” 

Jake groans in response, clearly annoyed. “Stupid. I don’t get how doing trust falls and pyramid building is going to get us any closer. If anything, I almost FELL off that pyramid today!” 

You don’t know why, but you find yourself admiring him and his soft features as he continues to rant about one of his teammates, specifically, the one who almost dropped him. 

The way his messy hair, unkept from the rain ruining it, almost covers his eyes (but you tell yourself you like it this way, it looks more natural on him), the way the corners of his lips are always perked upwards (even when he’s ranting), the way his eyes sparkle whenever he’s truly passionate about whatever he’s talking about, the way his eyes look at you like–

“Stare much? Look, I get you can’t resist my good looks but at least be subtle about it,” he smirks at you as he takes another spoon of rice. 

You break out of his trance and scoff at him. 

“You’re cute when you rant,” you nonchalantly say as you move from your spot to mirror his actions and add more rice to your plate as well.  Jake’s stills at your sudden comment, unsure of how to respond. Lucky for him, you’re distracted by the mountain of food on your plate to even notice the blushing mess of a boy next to you. 

“You know, you’re lucky you’re cute. Or else I’d deck you right here and now for ditching me after school today.” 

Anddd there goes the moment. Leave it to you to follow up a compliment with a threat of violence. 

Jake finds it cute anyways. He always finds you cute. 

Jake narrows his eyes and lightly shoves you before an apology is written all over his face. “Sorry about that by the way. I feel awful about making you walk home when it was freezing out.” 

“Nah, it’s okay. Sunghoon gave me a ride, actually. Did you know he does debate? I guess you learn something new everyday,” you ramble, unaware of the boy next to you getting tense at the sudden mention of the other’s name. 

Up until now, Jake’s completely forgotten about Sunghoon's involvement in this entire scheme. In fact, the past 48 hours with you have felt so normal, so comfortable, he almost forgot about the deal in the first place.   “You think he has any clue?” Jake suddenly asks, referring to the plan. 

You immediately know what he’s referring to, as Jake practically worded out your very own thoughts. 

You shrug. “Not a single one. We’re practically William and Kate in his eyes. But honestly, that’s the least of my worries right now. I’m too distracted by my exams right now to care.” 

Jake feels guilty for being satisfied with your answer. He’s 100% sure that if convincing Sunghoon took you two an entire lifetime of fake dating, he’d be all too willing to do it. 

“Go to Jay’s party with me tomorrow,” he abruptly says, catching your attention as your mouth is stuffed. Cute. 

He pokes your cheek. “It’ll get your mind off of work and plus, what’s more convincing than showing up to a party with your amazing boyfriend?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you. Jake doesn’t know where he gets his sudden surge of confidence. But he does know he loves calling himself your boyfriend...even if it’s for the time being. 

Rolling your eyes and swatting his poking fingers away from your face, you ponder on his suggestion. 

“You mean my annoying boyfriend,” you stick your tongue out at him. Jake takes a mental picture and hopes it never leaves his mind. 

“But I guess you could be right. Maybe I can clear my head for the night before I study my ass off all weekend.” 

Friday, December 11th 

The party does not clear your mind. 

If anything, it gives you enough headaches to last you at least until the end of high-school. 

You come to this revelation as you and Jake approach Jay’s home, a luxurious mansion sitting at the end of a cul-de-sac, lined with similarly luxurious palaces, located in an equally luxurious neighborhood. 

You come to this revelation when you can already feel the pounding bass of music as you walk up Jay’s driveway. 

You come to this revelation when, not even two seconds after entering Jay’s front doors––

“You’re here!” A buzzed Jay shouts at the two of you, causing the both of you to contemplate your past choices that brought you here today. Jay definitely isn’t straight up drunk yet, but Jake still makes a mental note to keep an eye on him tonight. Just in case. 

The blonde-haired boy is quick to hand over two red solo cups of god knows what, to which you and Jake immediately put down on the nearest table after Jay walks away to greet the next incoming guests (you know, to not hurt his feelings). 

You and Jake are lucky enough to have been around Jay and his parties long enough to know that going all out at these parties will not be pretty the next morning.

You cringe at the memory of last year, when you had to suffer from possibly the worst hangover of all hangovers after one of Jay’s parties. Jake will never let you forget how miserable you looked the next morning. His camera roll’s album titled “y/n blackmail pics” can vouch for that.

“Remind me again to never listen to you,” you almost have to shout at Jake over the thumping music. Jake laughs at your comment and tugs at your hand as he begins entering the house.

The two of you do your rounds of greetings to the people you know...and random underclassmen who you swear you have never seen before but somehow made it to this party. You’ve always questioned how Jay’s invite list worked. Maybe there isn’t one. That would explain how it looked like someone announced Jay was giving out free Teslas and the entire school got hold of the news. 

“Thank god you guys are here,” you hear a voice come from behind the two of you as you guys leave the main room to enter the house’s smaller, but just as luxurious looking, den. You turn to see Heeseung with Sunghoon following closely behind, trying his best not to get swept away in the crowd of people. 

The den is where you usually stayed during these parties. It’s not like there are rules of where people are allowed to party, by any means, but it’s like how a high-school’s cafeteria worked. There’s a mutual silent agreement of where everyone goes, and the den is where the party host and his friends went.  

“Okay, is it just me, or is tonight’s party just a little...too..much?” Sunghoon asks as the four of you take your seats on the main couch of the room. Jake’s quick to make space for you next to him as you go to sit, but to his surprise, you find your home right on his lap. 

“You said be convincing right?” you say into his ear as you settle yourself. Right. That’s totally why. Because you had to go along with the ruse. Obviously. 

You shift a bit so you’re more facing sideways, not blocking off Jake’s line of vision as the boy himself is..well, calling him a rag doll might be excessive. 

But he’s sure he looks like one right now, having lost all senses in his limbs, leaving him frozen underneath you. 

Jake Sim is the epitome of politeness. He was raised in a family that taught him how to respectfully greet others, how to always offer food to others before eating it himself, how to properly treat a significant other. As a result, Jake grew up to be one of the sweetest, kindest, purest people to ever walk this earth. 

(Relatively speaking, the earth is large, but so is Jake’s heart.) 

But human-beings aren’t perfect, they must have a balance. A balance of pros and cons. 

Sure, he can’t pack his own lunch and sometimes forgets to water the little succulent you gifted him that’s currently seated on his window sill. Sure, sometimes he’s too sweet for his own good, you know, like willing-to-be-your-fake-boyfriend too sweet. But aside from the minor details, Jake Sim doesn’t have many cons, no. 

But he sure can be awkward. 

And so because Jake Sim is sweet, kind, pure, and awkward, he is unsure of what to do with himself when you’re seated right on top of him. 

As if you could read his befuddled mind, you take his arm that’s resting behind you to wrap around your waist as your support as you throw one of your arms around his shoulder. And throughout this entire adjustment, his widened eyes are staring right at you. 

Bless this pure, pure boy. 

Also bless the position you’re in, blocking the two other boys from directly seeing Jake’s face. Because if they were to catch glimpse of Jake’s expression right now, your cover might be blown, just like that. You’re lucky Heeseung and Sunghoon are distracted by another classmate who came up to them. 

“Relax,” you sweetly laugh, cupping his chin with your free hand and lightly squeezing his cheeks. “You’re so adorably awkward.” 

Jake pouts at you. “I am not awkward!” 

“Right, and I’m totally dating you for real,” you playfully whisper at him, eliciting a poke at your waist in response. 

Twenty minutes of people-watching-aka-“who do you think is gonna pass out first?”-from-your-spot-on-the-couch later, the four of you draw your attention to the rowdy party host you all have the honor of calling your friend––aka Jay––dancing (that is, if you call wildly swinging your limbs in all four directions dancing) in the middle of the den. 

"Oh god, look at him," Sunghoon voices from besides you.

Heeseung's already filming the moment on his phone. Ah yes, technology. The best thing to ever happen to drunk teens' friends.  

"He's so wasted," you throw your head back as you let out a laugh. “We should help the kid out.” 

Poor Jay. He's not gonna hear the end of it after tonight.

"I don't know why he thinks these parties are such a good idea when he knows how trashed he's gonna be when he wakes up," Jake says, his hand naturally squeezing your waist as you giggle at his comment. "And how trashed the house will be."  

Jay slumbers over to where the four of you are seated, and abruptly stops right in front of the couch.

"My best friends!" Jay happily cheers. “Having fun?” 

“Watching you? Always,” you say to the boy who’s squeezing into a seat between you and Sunghoon, as if the small couch wasn’t already suffocating enough (and that’s with you on Jake’s lap). 

“But for real though, you should probably lay off the drinks for now,” Heeseung insists. “For all our sakes.” 

Sunghoon nods along and grabs the cup Jay’s currently nursing and sets it down where it’s out of Jay’s reach, much to his dismay. But the disappointment quickly leaves the dazed boy’s head, as his attention is now directed towards you and Jake. 

“Well if it isn’t mom and dad,” Jay turns to face you and Jake, certainly amused by your seating arrangement. 

“You know–” Jay points a finger at the two of you. “For a couple that’s certainly close, I haven’t seen you two kiss.” 

Jake is immediately coughing, certainly not expecting that to come out of his friend’s mouth. 

“Okay and your point is?” Jake frowns at Jay. If Jay wasn’t tipsy, Jake would’ve smacked the back of his head by now. 

“I’m just saying...” the blonde responds, both hands up in the air as if Jake is accusing him of something, when in was, in fact, the opposite. “But nevermind, Jakey boy here is probably too innocent for such nonsense anyways.” 

Yes, it’s confirmed. Once Jay sobers up tomorrow, Jake is driving over to his house (even though it’s a good ten minute drive from his own) just to smack him. 

“What do you mean I’m too–” 

Jake doesn’t finish his sentence. In fact, Jake doesn’t even remember what he was going to say. 

Jake doesn’t think nor feel anything else other than your lips planted on his. 

You’re pulling him in close, your hands cupping his face as his own are twitching on your waist, his mind flustered. You move your hands from his face to his neck, to which Jake immediately relaxes at. 

Sure, you two are in the middle of a dumb high-school party, one filled with pounding music and shouting teenagers, but right now, in this moment, Jake can only feel you. And he doesn’t want the feeling to ever stop. 

When you part, Jake’s eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips, his own parted in shock. He thinks he might pass out right here and now. He thinks his heart might explode right here and now. He thinks he might lov-

“Happy?” you turn to a satisfied Jay, ignoring the looks of amusement from Heesung and Sunghoon besides him. 

“Well,” you pat Jake’s leg as you get up from your spot. “I’m gonna get us some drinks. Punch only, of course.” 

Jake’s eyes are on you as you walk away, his face tinted pink from the adrenaline of it all, his heart racing. 

Jake thinks back to three days ago, when he told himself that this idea of yours was going to be all fine. After all, it was only going to be for one week. Afterwards, he can move on with his life as if nothing happened. 

But fast forward 72 hours later, 72 hours after you and Jake started this act, 72 hours after Jake told himself it’ll be all fine, Jake knows he was poorly mistaken.

Because 72 hours later, in the middle of a party that reeked of the combined smell of alcohol and sweat, Jake knows one thing and one thing for sure.

He never wants to move on from the feeling of being with you. He never wants to move on from this.

From you. 

He’s screwed. 

Saturday, December 12th 

When Jake wakes up, much later than he intended to, on Saturday morning, the first sensation he feels are his tingling lips, still in disbelief that they graced your own last night. 

The second sensation being his pounding mind––it’s running through ten million thoughts at a time, telling him no last night wasn’t a dream. 

Third: his heart beating so fast at the thought of you, he thinks he might beat out of his chest.

And fourth, a buzzing noise. 

Jake blindly flounders his arm to the table beside him in hopes of finding the origin of the annoying sound, aka, his phone. 

After knocking down multiple miscellaneous items on his nightstand (he makes a mental note to clean his room later), he successfully retrieves the item of search. 

Jake squints at the bright screen, mind still cloudy from a mix of 1) being half-asleep, and 2) still processing what happened the night before. 

y/n [11:10AM]: r u awake yet? 

y/n [11:22AM]: imma take that as a no

y/n [11:35AM]: lemme know when ur up 

jake [11:44AM]: just woke up sorry 

jake [11:44AM]: are you okay? what’s up

y/n [11:45AM]: r u busy? 

y/n [11:45AM]: kinda wanted to talk abt smth

jake [11:45AM]: uh well no im still in bed lmao

y/n [11:46AM]: cool im outside your door 

Jake’s eyes widen as he processes your last few texts. 

Talk? Outside his door? 

Jake’s heart is nervously pounding as jumps out of bed and quickly puts on the first plaid flannel he finds. He scrambles to his mirror and gives his reflection a quick run-down. 

He’s sporting your his favorite hoodie underneath the flannel that’s long overdue a wash and his tousled hair has seen better days, but he couldn't care less. 

Before his mind can catch up to his actions, he’s rushing down the stairs, skipping two at a time and to this front door. Because he didn’t want to keep you waiting? Because he was too excited to see you? Maybe a mix of both. Definitely more of the latter, however. 

He quickly runs a hand through his hair to try to fix it up as much as he can, to no avail, before opening the door to reveal you, sitting on the steps of his front porch. 

“y/n,” he’s breathing heavily as you turn to greet him with your sweet smile he didn’t even realize he was missing. Is it possible to miss someone overnight? Jake concludes yes, it definitely is. 

“Did you run down here or something?,” you question his out-of-breath state, a teasing tone laces the tip of your tongue. 

“Or something,” Jake mutters as he closes the front door behind him to join you on the steps when you make no sign of moving. “Have you been out here all morning?” 

“Not allll morning. I had a feeling you’d sleep in so I came around the time I first texted you. Would’ve knocked but didn’t wanna bother your family,” you hum, keeping your eyes trained on the peaceful scenery around you. 

You’ve always loved Jake’s neighborhood, it brought you a sense of peace, a sense of home. 

Or was that because it reminded you of Jake? 

“You could never be a bother,” he quickly rebuttals as he takes his seat next to you on the steps. 

You respond with a soft smile before turning your attention back to anything other than the boy next to you. Your mind seems to be lost in its own thoughts, Jake can tell by the distant look in your eyes. 

The sound of birds chirping in the distance fills the silence that falls between the two of you. 

Any other day, Jake would love this. He savors every second he’s with you, even if it’s just pure silence. 

But this silence was different. It wasn’t the usual comforting, warm silence that the two of you share on a typical day. This one held tension, tension so thick that Jake doesn’t know where to begin thinking. 

But here’s the thing. Jake doesn’t think. 

Not when it comes to you. 

He takes a deep breath. Rubs his hands together. Pats them on his lap. Turns towards you. 

“Look, I-” 

“I think I might like you.” The words come out of your mouth so fast, Jake’s positive he heard you wrong the first time around. 

He whips his head to meet your eyes, your own already staring back at him, your bottom lip nervously tucked under your teeth. 

“No, I––I do. I know I do. I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you and I don’t think I’m doing a very good job right now,” the words are all of the sudden tumbling out of your mouth as if your brain flipped a switch and isn’t able to turn it off. “In hindsight, I should’ve known better to fake date my own best friend. But these past few days made me realize how much I love being with you. And not like how I’m always with you 24/7 before this entire thing started, but being with you. I even started getting that weird, bubbly feeling in my stomach every time I so much as heard your name. And then last night at the party, I realized afterwards that I wouldn’t have kissed you if some part of me didn’t see you in that way. Even if it meant Jay would’ve been on our asses all night if I didn’t. So yeah.” 

You finish with a deep breath and look up at him to meet his widened eyes. Silence.

Jake thought he was braindead during last week’s history quiz. Jake thought he was braindead when he had to cram a semester’s worth of chemistry content the night before his exam. Heck, Jake thought he was braindead when you first told him about your idea of a fake dating him. But no, this is braindead.

He’s finally hearing what he’s been dreaming of for so long, and of all times, now his brain decides to shut off.  

“Are you..uh..are you gonna say anything?” You’re nervously fumbling with your hands, desperate to distract yourself with anything else apart from his silent stare. 

"Why are you sorry?" Jake says before his mind can think of anything else. He doesn't pay attention to his thumping heart that's one look-from-you away from exploding right then and there. "You didn't do anything wrong. If anything, you took the words right out of my mouth.” 

Now you're staring at him with the wide eyes, the words processing in your mind.

Jake realizes he's waited too long to do this. A few years too long. He also realizes he shouldn't have put on that extra layer of a flannel. The nervous tension created by the two of you was suffocating enough, and being outside under the bright sun didn’t help. 

"I like you too. God y/n, I like you too so much," Jake doesn't even care if his words are all sorts of messed up right now. He just needs you to get the idea. "I have for a while now.” 

You let out a relieved sigh, ecstasy rushing through your blood. “Really? I think I have for a while too. I’m so stupid, it took me so long to realize it. It didn’t hit me until I realized how I felt around you, compared to the guy I’m supposed to actually have a crush on.” 

Jake lets out a laugh, the tension immediately dissolving. “Hey, if it wasn’t for Sunghoon, I don’t think we’d be here right now.” 

“You’re right, I’m too oblivious and you’re too awkward to actually make a move,” you wink at him. If his heart wasn’t fluttering at the sight of you, on his porch on a Saturday morning, confessing your feelings to him, Jake probably would’ve lightly shoved you away. 

Instead, he’s turning to you with the most endeared look on his face, and you’re blushing underneath his gaze.

“What? Stare much?” You giggle, quoting the boy himself as you shyly duck your head to avoid his stare. 

Jake gently grabs your chin to tilt your face towards his, and before you can process what’s happening, he suddenly meets your lips with his own, closing the gap between you two. 

Jake thinks if the ground underneath him right now decided to open up and swallow him whole, he’d die happily. 

Jake smiles against you, feeling comfort in ways he’ll never be able to achieve without you. 

Your hands instinctively find their way into his hair, as one of his rests below your ear, thumb softly caressing your cheek, the other pulling you in by the waist. He’s naturally leaning into you, gravitating towards your warmth, unable to stop the giddy feeling bubbling in his stomach. 

He doesn’t think the feeling will ever go away. 

When you pull away to catch your breath, you rest your head against the nook of his neck, basking in his presence as his arms both find their way around your waist. You sigh in pleasure. 

“Remember at the beginning of all of this, when you told me ‘Just try not to fall in love with me?’” Jake gently says. Jake feels the slight nod you give against his shoulder as you hum in response. 

Jake whispers two more words into your ear, filling you with happiness and warmth you know you won’t be able to find through anyone––or anything––else. 

“Too late.” 

✰ if you made it ‘til the end, ily :’))))) 

#let me know what u think :D #enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen fics #enhypen scenarios #enhypen jake #jakesim #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #enhypen x reader #enhypen jake sim #enhypen jake fluff #jake sim x reader #enhypen jake imagine #jake fluff #jake sim #jake shim #iland #iland jake #iland imagines #jake #enhypen oneshots #enhypen oneshot

[1111jenx]

me @ 2AM on a tuesday: after learning a little bit more about buddhism i think finding happiness through addictions, academic or career achievements or even romantic relationships is selfish bc true happiness must be found from within the self and anything else outside is consider "selfish" desires thats not "real" if you may in order to reach enlightenment.also if theres destined path for everyone, it probably not necessarily the one we want like complete opposite of what we think is good for us for example if i desire to have loads of money and b filthy rich, my so called "destiny" would probably be learning how to create a home and bring people together or get married and breed geniuses or smth like it has to be completely opposite. also there's probably partial truths to the whole i//um!nat! theory. also i'm a cancer btw what abt u

random men at the bar: i'm just gonna go

#this was funnier in my head #but literally #this is why i like nerdy ppl #my gemini mercury acts up smtimes #uranus 7h tingz

[imagines-r-s]

sticking it - j. farabee

chapter 6

a/n: now you’ll all see why i said be excited for ch. 6 lmao. (also, with ch. 5 not showing up in the tags for a minute, some might not have seen it, so i’ll link it here) but anyways, this chapter was difficult to write bc i’m not used to writing anything but angst lmao. and huge shoutout to my baby gracie for helping me out with this chapter. please enjoy and i’d love to hear feedback

also, like i told an anon, this is in memory of bee’s hair :((  (he still looks good with the new hair, don’t get me wrong)

taglist: @butgilinsky @barbienoturbby @sunsetholland​ @lovenhlboys @sortagaysortahigh @hockey-racing-fubol @oopsiedoopsie23 @iwantahockeyhimbo @dreamsndior

warnings: (2) your mom jokes, jealous!joel?, once again simp nation for the both of them, swearing (it’s a problem ngl), idiocy 

sticking it masterlist

wc: 4.1k

(gif not mine)

When you told Marcus and Michelle that you had to be out for a month, they advised you to only come to the gym three times a week for two hours for the first two weeks and you’d figure out a plan for the two weeks after, that way you could take a much needed break out of the gym. The thing stressing you out the most was gym and they obviously realized it, so they were hopeful it would give you a chance to breathe. 

You planned to go to the gym Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays from 6-8am and then you would spend the rest of your day at home doing whatever you needed to do that day. The first Monday you spent those two hours doing ab workouts and helping the other girls around the gym, then you went home and stayed in your room for the rest of the day. You put your phone on do not disturb, so no one heard from you, which caused Kevin to come to your apartment to make sure you were okay. 

Tuesday played out the exact same way, early practice, then going home and staying in bed, and Kevin coming to make sure you were alright. Kevin even invited you to come out with him and some of the boys, which you politely declined saying they should have their time together. Wednesday, you simply stayed in bed, choosing to actually keep your phone on today, you were just tired and felt drained from everything going on right now that you couldn’t really muster up the energy to talk to anyone. 

Wednesday night, as you were rewatching Marvel movies, your phone started ringing with a call from Ryanne. Quickly answering it, “hey Ry.”

“Hey babes, how’re you doing?”

“I’ve been better, I’ve also been worse, so.”

“Me and Claude were wondering if you’d want to come over and hang out with us and Gav for some of the day, we’ll provide food and such, but we miss you, babe. So, we figured we’d ask while you have a chance.” 

In reality, Ryanne had heard from Claude that you wouldn’t be able to do extensive training for at least a month. She might not have known much about gymnastics, but she knew you well enough to know that you were always constantly training - she was well aware that if that ever got taken from Claude that he would be devastated if he was out for that long and with two weeks to prepare for a big game.

She had checked in to see how you were with Kevin one day after practice and when he mentioned everything that was going on, she was worried about you. She knew that she likely wouldn’t be able to help much, but she did know that there was one part of the equation she could help. Knowing that she already had a plan to have a send off party before the boys went on a roadie and also knowing that everyone on the team would be there, she somehow conveniently planned to invite you over a few hours before it started. 

“Oh, yeah, I’d love to, honestly. What time do you want me over?”

“Anytime after three is fine. I’ll see you then, hun. Oh, and wear something cute.”

“Why exactly?”

“Just do it,” Ryanne said, not having time to think of an excuse, “bye.”

As you were about to say something else, the ring that told you she had hung up rang out. 

…..

Joel wasn’t doing as good as he wanted to be recently and with an upcoming roadie, he knew he needed to spend more time on the ice before the game. Having asked a few of the guys to work with him during an unscheduled morning skate, he was able to work on what he needed to. 

“Wait, so she’s out how long?” Joel overheard Travis ask Kevin as he made his way into the locker room. 

“Like four weeks, but two weeks with the brace and basically no training, then two weeks with athletic tape on her knee and no hard landings. But she’ll only have two weeks before Championships, so she's not feeling too great about it. Plus, she has to use her brace and crutches again and she didn’t enjoy that the first time,” Kevin replied. 

“Is she going to be okay?” Joel hadn’t meant to ask his question aloud, but as soon as Kevin heard his voice a smile grew on his face. 

“Yeah, Lover Boy, she’ll be fine. She hasn’t really been up to do anything recently, but other than that I think she’ll be okay. She has to use her crutches again, which is honestly very entertaining,” Kevin stated before turning to leave the locker room, turning right as he got to the doorway, “random question, are you planning on going to G’s for the send off party tomorrow night?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Just wondering,” and with that Kevin was gone, leaving a confused Joel behind. 

Kevin knew that you had a lot on your plate right now and that you wouldn’t want to go to anyone about your problems. He also knew that the both you and Joel, were simply too stubborn to fix the problem going on between you on your own, hence why he had mentioned something to Ryanne. He knew that Ryanne would jump at the chance to be able to help you feel better and as soon as she mentioned the party set-up idea, he was in. The plan was then mentioned to most of the team, knowing that the help of many was needed in order to help the two idiots. 

….. 

After sending Kevin a quick text that you were leaving, you left your apartment and made your way to Ryanne and Claude’s house. Gently knocking on the door, you smiled when Ryanne opened the door, “awe, babe, I’m so happy you’re here, I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too. Not to be rude, but where is the tiny human?” you asked, looking past Ryanne to see Gavin walking towards you, “hi, bub. Oh my god, you’re getting so big.” 

“Well if you came around more often, you’d get to see him more,” Ryanne mumbled, watching you play with the boy in front of you. 

“I heard that,” you said, in a sing-song voice.

“You were supposed to,” she replied, mocking your tone, “anyways, Claude is on his way back from the store, so he’ll be here soon, but I haven’t talked to you in forever, how’s everything? How’s gym?”

“Oh, well. I’ve been better, this last meet definitely wasn’t all that great and not being able to train doesn’t really help my case either, but I’m making the most of it,” you said, shrugging. 

“And you’re actually having to listen to Adrian this time around?” she said, pointedly, causing you to chuckle. 

“Yeah, I have to actually listen to Adrian this time,” you smiled, “I hate that I have to actually wear my knee brace, though. And I have to use crutches. Can you believe that?”

“Considering it’s you, I’m more shocked that you’re actually using them.” 

“Ry, shh, let’s not call me out too much today,” you replied. 

It wasn’t too long before you heard the front door open, Claude walking in a few seconds later, “awe, it’s my favorite babysitter. Come on, babe, let’s leave while we can.”

“Haha, I almost forgot how funny you are, G,” you said, sarcastically. 

“I’m sure, I’m sure. You know what would be nice though?”

“What?”

“Helping me put the groceries up,” he said, smiling sweetly causing you to groan. 

“Are chores and babysitting all I’m good for to you?”

“Well,” he looked up to the ceiling, as if he were thinking for another answer,”hm, nothing comes to mind, y/n/n.”

“Oh, that was mean,” Ryanne said, playfully elbowing Claude. 

“Thank-”

“She’ll never babysit again if we’re mean to her,” Ryanne smirked. 

“Oh, wow, I see how it is, don’t worry,” you said, the three of you laughing. 

As the three of you were setting out groceries - you mostly sitting on the kitchen island, taking things out of the bag - the three of you caught up. Claude talking about his hopes for these next few games, Ryanne talking about how Gavin was doing - not missing the few times Gav ran through the kitchen -, and you talking about whatever you could. 

“Ok, so we haven’t brought this up yet, but I was just wondering if you had any idea what’s going on with Beezer? I know you guys had gotten closer recently and he’s just not himself, so I’m asking if you know anything,” Claude asked, closing the fridge before turning back to you. Both him and Ryanne had a pretty good idea of what happened, but if they were missing something, they wanted to know. 

“Oh, um, well, about that one,” you sighed, gathering your thoughts, “me and him kinda haven’t talked since I told him I only wanted to be friends.” 

“Ok, but from the looks of it, it looked like both of you wanted to be more than friends?” 

“Yeah, but, there’s a lot more to it, you know.”

“No, actually, I’m a tad bit lost, y/n/n.”

“Look, I can’t have any distractions right now and I was worried about it affecting gymnastics, so I told him I only want to be friends.”

“That’s dumb,” Claude replied, quickly.

“Thank you, many people have mentioned that.”

“He has no place to talk in a situation like this,” Ryanne finally spoke up, causing you to look between the pair confused, “when his life was just hockey, hockey, and hockey, nothing could fill those spots. So, when our relationship was first starting he did the same thing to me that you’re doing to Bee.”

“This was supposed to be a philosophical moment and you messed it up,” Claude replied. 

“I didn’t mess it up, you’re just mad because you basically called yourself dumb. But pushing him away isn’t a smart option and it just hurts both of you in the process,” Ryanne said before walking back to where Gavin was. 

“Look, I know you said you didn’t want distractions, but this seems to be having a worse effect on you than you hoped. From the looks of it, when you started pushing him away, it affected your performance. Just pointing that out for you.”

“Yeah, I know. You didn’t have to point it out, you know.”

“Yeah, but you would have continued to ignore the obvious fact that you were just scared of a relationship in general,” he shrugged.

“I don’t even know how to talk to him about it or at least how to start the conversation.”

“Well, lucky for you,” he looked down to check his watch, “the guys are all coming over in like 10 minutes, so you’ll see him then.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, it’s a send off party for the roadie this weekend, why do you think we got so many groceries?” and with that he left you in the kitchen by yourself. 

…..

Joel sat in the backseat of Kevin’s car, Nolan in the passenger seat, as they made their way to G’s house. By the time they got there, most of the guys had already gotten there, seeing a few familiar cars in the driveway, but one stood out in particular. He knew that it was yours from some of the times he had seen you driving, “what’s y/n/n doing here?”

Nolan and Kevin both chuckled at that, “she came over here earlier to watch Gavin, I think,” Kevin said. 

“Oh, cool,” Joel replied, attempting to sound nonchalant as possible 

“Don’t try to act like you’re not freaking out. You aren’t slick, dude,” Nolan added, shaking his head, “you two better talk, too. Because everyone is tired of the two of you being idiots and not talking shit out.” 

“We’re not idiots.”

“You are,” the other two said in unison. Joel didn’t try to argue as he followed the pair inside their captain’s house. 

As soon as he entered the house, he took note that almost all the team was here, most of the team was outside, but he immediately found you sitting on one of the barstools with Gavin sitting on your lap as you talked with Ryanne. “Go talk to her,” Nolan whispered, causing him to jump. 

“God, Pat. What the fuck?” Joel said turning around. 

“I said what I said. You’ll have to talk at some point, might as well just do it. Plus, she’s on crutches, so like, if she wants to run away it will take her a while.”

“Um, that’s- I mean, that’s valid, but-”

“At some point today, you should talk to her. I obviously can’t make you and it’s up to you, but I think it would help fix things,” Nolan said, shrugging.

“Yeah, I know, I know. I plan on it.” 

You and Ryanne had stayed inside with Gav since the boys were grilling outside, so when Nolan, Kevin, and Joel walked in, you were one of the first people to notice. Kevin made his way over to you almost as soon as he came in, “so, you enjoying the party?”

“Considering I didn’t know it was happening, sure I’m having a great time, Kev.”

“Well, I guess it’s a surprise party then,” you quickly shot him a glare, “surprise.” 

As you heard the back door open, you looked up to see Joel already looking at you, shooting you a quick smile as he followed his teammate to go outside. “I swear, if all you guys do tonight is spare glances at each other and don’t talk, I’m going to lose it,” Ryanne said from beside you. 

“I think everyone will, to be honest,” Kevin added, “well, I’m going outside. If you need any help, just let me know.” 

The boys had a few different plans in place to get the two of you to talk; conveniently sending Joel in to help while you were inside, telling Joel to go help out inside, asking Joel to get Gavin, and as a last resort, make Joel jealous. 

When everyone had been done eating, Claude asked some of the younger guys to help him clean up and bring out the cooler with drinks that was still inside. Joel had somehow conveniently avoided going inside while helping and when he did, he went straight to the kitchen and right back out. He wasn’t wanting to avoid you all night, but he didn’t know what to do. Shortly after, Claude had asked Joel to go in and get Gavin, somehow right as you had left Gavin with Ryanne, which also ruined that plan. 

Ryanne knew that it would be suspicious if they kept trying those same plans. So instead, she basically forced you to go outside with her. She helped you get outside, Kevin shooting up from his chair to help you get down the stairs of the deck, “you don’t have to help me out, Kev.”

“Knowing you, you would trip and break something. You’re already hurt enough,” he said, causing you to roll your eyes. As Kevin looked up, he didn’t miss the way Joel lit up as he saw you, “hey, your boy is looking over here.”

Looking up, your eyes once again met his, to which you sent him a light smile, “yeah, he’s been watching me since I stepped out here.”

“y/n/n, you would only know that if you were looking at him, too.”

“Yeah, I never said that I wasn’t though.” 

“You know, it’s obvious the two of you aren’t mad at each other or anything like that. So, why the fuck haven’t you talked yet?”

“Oh, um. Words are hard,” you said, walking away towards Travis and Nolan on your crutches. 

“You’re literally on crutches, you aren’t moving that fast.”

“You know who else isn’t moving that fast?”

“y/n. I swear, if this is another your-”

“Your mom,” you yelled back to him. 

“What is up with you and making your mom jokes?” Nolan asked as you got closer to them. 

“They’re funny?” 

“y/n/n just has the sense of humor of a middle school boy, that’s why her and Beezer got along so well,” Travis added, helping you move your crutches so you could sit down at the table they were at, “how are the crutches?”

“How’s your mom?” you laughed, causing the two of them to groan, “nah, they’re not fun. In any way shape or form.”

As you were talking to Nolan and Teeks, Kevin and Ryanne realized that none of the plans they had tried were working. Both of them knew that the only plan that would probably work was to make Joel jealous, so Kevin texted Carter, Morgan, Nolan, and Teeks to let them know that was the plan that they were going with. 

“y/n looks really good today,” Carter said, causing Joel to spit out his drink. 

“Better watch yourself, Hartsy,” Joel replied, shooting a glare towards his friend. 

“I was just being honest, she really does. There’s nothing going on between you guys anymore, right?” Carter watched as Joel visibly tensed at the mention of what was happening between the two of you, knowing that the plan was working he continued, “I mean, if nothings going on between you two, then she’s single, right?”

“Well, I mean-” Joel stuttered out, “we haven’t talked in a while, but that doesn’t mean-”

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Carter said, making his way over to the table you were at, causing Nolan and TK to chuckle as they saw Joel’s face drop, “hey, y/n/n.”

“Hey, Hartsy, it’s been a minute. How is everything?” you smiled. You kept talking to the group around you for a while, not noticing the way Joel was becoming visibly angry. He didn’t want to seem jealous, but he assumed that Carter had been flirting with you this whole time, so he made the executive decision to talk to you now. 

Since your back was facing him, you didn’t see him coming, but the three boys around you did, only trying to hide their smiles since the plan was actually working. “Hey y/n, can we talk?” he asked. 

You turned around to finally face the boy you had been avoiding, “yeah, hold on a sec.” As you continued some of your conversation, Joel was getting more and more irritated, mostly because Carter was sending looks his way that he couldn’t exactly read. Joel, being the impatient person he was, pulled the chair you were sitting at away from the table, pulling you up to stand before lifting you up over his shoulder, “Bee, what the fuck?”

He simply ignored you as he carried you up the stairs and back inside his captain’s house. You tried pushing yourself off as he made his way up the stairs, but it was deemed useless when he just tightened his grip, “Farabee, I swear to god. I will hurt you.”

Eventually, he opened the door to the guest bathroom and gently set you down on the counter before locking the door, “what the fuck was that for? If you want to talk, you could have just waited a second. But no, you had to be all dramatic about it,” you said, rolling your eyes. 

“Are you done?” Joel asked, crossing his arms and leaning back against the door.  

“I mean, yeah. Are you?” 

“Yeah, but I’m tired of us ignoring each other and I miss you, so we need to figure stuff out.”

“Awe, you miss me? That’s cute,” you smiled. 

“y/n/n, I swear, now is not the time for that one.”

“Ok, sorry. I’ll be serious now,” you said, crossing your arms to mock him. 

“I just want to know what happened at the lake?” 

“Oh, we’re going straight to the point, alright,” you sighed, “look, what I said at the lake wasn’t true. I got this idea in my head that if you were in my life, you were a distraction from what I wanted.”

“How’d that work out for you?” he said, smirking. 

“Oh, no, see that’s what we’re not going to do. No need for the attitude. Anyways, I had this idea that if anything happened between us, that I would mess it up and it would mess everything in my life up. So, pushing you away was the safest option.”

Joel took a moment to gather his thoughts before pushing himself off the door and made his way closer to you, ending up standing between your legs with his hands on either side of you, “look, I’m saying this and I mean it. I understand where you’re coming from with the fear of distractions thing, but I want you to know that I would never intentionally keep you from your goals and dreams. I’m just extra support, you know.”

“Yeah, I realized that after you ran from the lake house. We could have had this figured out by now, if you had stayed,” you said, sarcastically. Rolling your eyes for added dramatic effect. 

“Oh, shut up. You have no place to talk, babe,” he said, smiling when he heard you giggle, “what was that for?”

“I kinda missed you calling me babe, I guess. Kinda crazy, dude.”

“Awe, so you did miss me?”

“I never said I didn’t,” you said, quietly reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck. You saw the way that his eyes went from your eyes to your lips, “I also missed this,” and with that you pulled him closer until your lips met in a long awaited kiss. 

As the two of you broke away, your foreheads were still together, “hey, Bee?”

“Yeah?”

“You know who else I missed? Your mom,” you laughed. 

“Way to ruin the moment, babe,” he smiled, “That was funny though, so I respect it.”

“Dude, I’m so funny sometimes.”

“Looks aren’t everything, babe,” he said, laughing at the gasp you responded with. 

“Oh, that was rude. I’ll get you back one day though,” you watched as he went to leave the bathroom, “hey, Bee. I’m not supposed to walk without crutches, hate to break it to you.”

Rolling his eyes, he made his way back to you, turning around right in front of you, “here.” You leaned a little bit forward, wrapping your arms around his neck once again as he readjusted his grip on the back of your legs, so he could give you a piggyback ride on the way back outside. 

“You know, they didn’t tell me there was a party,” you spoke as he made his way back towards the door. 

“Oh, they said it was teammates only and then I saw your car,” he replied, pausing a moment as the two of you realized what had happened at the same time, “so, this was-”

“Yep.” 

“And Hartsy saying he was going to ask you out was part of it?”

“Hartsy said he was going to do that,” you started cackling. “Wait, were you jealous of him?” you asked laughing even harder. 

“It’s not funny.”

“Oh, yeah. I know, it’s hilarious.” 

“I will drop you right now,” he said, as he opened the door for outside, “and you’ll stuck right here, Ms. ‘I can’t walk down stairs right now’.”

“That’s a low blow,” you said, as the two of you made your way back to the table you were at. 

“Oops, sorry, babe,” he set you down close to your chair, but sat down before you could.

“Oh, so now you steal my chair, too?”

“Oh, shut up, you’re fine,” he said, pulling you to sit in his lap, “there you go.”

“So, I see the two of you made up?” Nolan asked, pointing at the two of you. 

“We also made out, in case you were wondering,” Joel replied, earning an elbow to the stomach, “ow, that hurt.”

“Sucks to suck, babe,” you replied, causing the smile on his face to grow even more. 

When Kevin and Ryanne watched the two of you walk back outside, they were happy to see that the plan worked. Ryanne simply laughed and shook her head as she heard the exchange between the two of you, “they are so in love and I don’t even think they realize it.”

“Ryanne, that is a big word, that I’m not prepared for. So, please, let’s not do that today,” Kevin replied, earning a laugh from Ryanne, “they’re happy though, that’s all that matters to me.”

#sticking it #joel farabee #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #philadelphia flyers #joel farabee x reader #joel farabee imagines #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #beezer #joel farabee x gymnast!reader

[madmadmilk]

You are literally so stupid. You don't need a vaccine for coronaviruses. They are so mild that the immunsysteme successfully deals with them in 99,5% of all cases. Global IFR is 0,68% (WHO). Age meridian is 82 years. People that don't survive bc of very compromised immunsystems are at risk for ANY virus or bacteria. Yet despite this stats you let yourself be unethically blackmailed to get your unlawfully taken life and freedom back through a never tested mRNA vax that hacks your DNA? Ridiculous!

lol ok so i wasn’t going to reply to this cos, cos ppl who send stuff like this are just baiting us; they don’t care how /we/ reply, or what we have to say.... but i’m feeling generous AND frustrated today. so you have been warned.....

(NOTE: i urge you ALL to inform yourselves. read from multiple sources, keep up to date with new guidelines and regulations, and for the love of all..... take time to think outside of yourself.)

lol first, it’s the random statistics for me. 🥴 it’s the name dropping but no sources for me. 🥴 it’s the starting with an insult for me. 🥴 it’s the constant //mansplaining// without ever providing a solution for me. 🥴 it’s the way that people Like This use “science” that benefits themselves, as an individual, ONLY when it supplements ‘their side’ for me. 🥴 it’s the way that everyone with this argument disregards how FUCKING CONTAGIOUS covid-19 is for me. 🥴 and it’s the way that they treat LIVING BREATHING PEOPLE as a mere numbers for me. 🥴😫🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🙄🙁😠😡

..... bruh.

every time i see “only the elderly die from it” i want to rip my fucking hair out. like, ok? so you don’t care about grandma and grandpa? their friends? someone else’s grandparents or parents? cool. but you’re forgetting that... IF WE WEREN’T IN A PANDEMIC RIGHT NOW, THEY WOULD HAVE NEVER HAD TO BATTLE FOR THEIR LIFE. ISOLATE FOR THEIR LIFE. HAVE ANY INTERRUPTION TO THEIR LIFE. (hello???) ... and that ‘ ‘ idea ‘ ‘ always excludes our immunocompromised friends and family members, the frontline workers, and anyone who has just randomly, and unfortunately, ran out of luck. like (?) can we stop treating the data as mere numbers? as inevitable? THESE ARE PEOPLE......... .. don’t think that “well, they would have died/been affected anyway”, NONE OF US DESERVE TO BE RAVAGED AND DISPLACED BY THIS. NO ONE. who the fuck was planning to get fatally ill on a tuesday in 2020? not fucking me.

and also? people who talk like this act as if the fucking pandemic isn’t “That Bad.” like what? when in our history, in our OWN fucking lifetimes have we ever had to lockdown and limit ourselves like this? when has modern america ever collectively sat at home like this? –– oh wait, it’s because people like this have just carried on living their life unbothered by the guidelines. it’s because people who send messages and speak like this, think only of themselves, of their own home, and about all the things they WANT to do. dude, check your privilege. 

honestly, friends, we are lining up and praying for a vaccine/solution, because we are at Plan B (or C, or D, idk). Plan A, i.e. full lockdown to stop the initial spread, was never fully implemented in America–– we’re now left at a “to each their own” type approach. we can’t even agree to wear masks in public spaces. can’t even agree that eating INSIDE of restaurants may not be a great idea. can’t even agree that... people deserve a relief package???! what the fuck. i’m exhausted, you’re exhausted, we’re all exhausted.

i’m so tired of people shooting down suggestions, SOLUTIONS to battling covid-19. you don’t want to wear a mask, you don’t want to socially distance, you don’t want another lockdown,  you don’t want the vaccine–– so what are you proposing we do? what “freedom” do we have like this?

if you don’t bat an eyelash about licking a metro pole, good for you. if you don’t mind sharing drinks and food with friends, good for you. if you have a fantastic immune system and covid passes easily, good for you. but if you get fatally ill from covid? what do you want us to tell you? tough shit? NO. no one should have been threatened by this disease, and the people who ARE currently battling through it deserve to be cared for and not dismissed as a fucking notch on a graph. hospitals, healthcare workers, frontline workers don’t deserve to be simultaneously overwhelmed and sidelined and praised for this–– what is praise if everyone is suffering??????

like i said in the beginning of this last year, america is failing this group project. and we are ALL suffering for it. i understand that any sort of “anti––” doesn’t care for any sort of reason besides argument. but to those of us who care, who are informing ourselves, and protecting one another–– we’ll just have to carry this all our our backs. it’s quite thankless but we must. that’s duty, honor and fucking self-preservation right there.

and TBH just wear a mask and stay home you bozos; i’m sure you’re hardly first in line for the vaccine. if you are so frightened of it, or so resilient to any illness, then just stay the fuck home to protect us in the one way you can.

jfc “you are literally so stupid” my ass...........

#Anonymous #i just had some thoughts......... feel free to correct me anywhere but..... yeah #long post #covid 19 #covid19 #coronavirus #vaccine #personal #madmadmilk #madmadannoying #covid talk

[doberbutts]

n0nb1narydemon

Reminds me of the time I had this HORRIBLE shooting pain in my shoulder every time I breathed in and begged my parents to take me to the hospital because breathing was extremely painful even if the pain wasn't in my chest..... turns out I had pneumonia and there's a specific nerve that can transfer pain like that. There's so much of my parents just not believing my problems exist in my history lmfao like it's no wonder I just got right into the habit of lying to them -

-about everything, bc they assumed I was lying no matter what so why bother trying yaknow.

Ooooooo yeah.

I remember when I was 11 or so I suddenly randomly had pneumonia. Like I wasn’t sick before, I had no cold or flu or any other symptom, I woke up one morning with a relatively high fever and feeling like I couldn’t breathe. It was a weekend and one where my parents had left me in the care of my sister (who couldn’t have given less of a shit about taking care of me tbh) and I basically woke up, got an icey pop from the freezer because my throat hurt from coughing and I wanted something to cool it down, and then went back to sleep. I woke again more than 12 hours later to my mom shaking me awake because I hadn’t responded the first several times she tried to wake me. She took my temp and declared I had a pretty high fever and that I probably had the flu since I very clearly super wasn’t feeling well and let me go back to sleep.

The next day I was worse. I asked her to take me to the doctor. It was a Sunday so she told me I’d have to wait until the weekend was over because she didn’t feel it was ER appropriate. Okay fair.

But then she didn’t take me Monday. Or Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Or Thursday. And I still wasn’t better, and I was wheezing so loud at night that I was keeping everyone else up. And my fever was just climbing higher and higher and higher. So finally she took me on Friday with a lot of annoyance that they were just going to say I had the flu and give me something to reduce my fever and maybe control the cough.

I did not have the flu. I had pneumonia and one of my lungs was already basically completely filled with fluid. It took more than 6 months to feel like I could breathe again, and it was shortly after that that all the fainting in the middle of class started. I couldn’t do anything in gym for the entire rest of that school year. I couldn’t laugh or sing, and my teachers had been warned not to make me read aloud because even talking too much would send me into a hacking, gagging, coughing fit.

Fun fact: many years later when I saw a specialist because this was happening again, he asked if it had happened before. I told him about this situation and I swear if it was a cartoon this would have been one of those times where the man’s eyes pop out of his head. He also called my mother careless and neglectful not only for that particular situation, but because children do not just randomly get pneumonia without being sick first. The fact that that happened and that it got so bad so quickly meant that I very likely had some form of autoimmune disorder that was yet undiagnosed and that random pneumonia is always a sign that something else is very wrong. That she should have investigated immediately to ensure that I would get the proper treatment I needed.

It’s happened twice more since then, in my adult life, and also I get pneumonia immediately after certain vaccinations, which is why I no longer get vaccinated.

This isn’t normal. She should have known. She should have investigated. But she didn’t. So it’s left to me to figure this out.

#he also basically confirmed the autoimmune thing with a blood test #it came back and my WBC was... negligible #and again cartoon eyes bulging out of his head #that's why he thought I had cancer #and when the tests for that came back negative #he thought I might have HIV #thankfully also negative #but that was a wild ride