#because i'm like that

[tattedmariposa]

fare you well, my new old friend. may you find what it is you seek.

#final fantasy xiv #final fantasy 14 #ffxiv #ffxiv art #hythlodaeus #once more i am here with flower symbolism :') #this is intended as a companion to the emet-selch one i did a few weeks back too #because i'm like that #lily's fanstuff #lilyart: paintings

[fallen-angel-adam-frankenstein]

Are you a normal fucking human being or do you also ship the Fryderyk Chopin-George Sand-Franz Liszt-Marie d'Agoult polycule?

#any combination of them is fine i guess #but i prefer to imagine them as one big bisexual mess #because i'm like that #fryderyk chopin #frederic chopin #chopin #classical music #romantic music #romanticism #george sand #franz liszt #liszt #marie dagoult #dark academia #polycule

[wren-of-the-woods]

It's Just Like Falling Snow (I am Above You, and I Love You)

Another fic for @finishwhatyoustarted-event! This one is set just after Rogue One and is a sort of happy epilogue to the events of the film. CW for the aftermath of character death (from the dead character's PoV).

Rated G, 1.2k, on AO3 here.

~

Cassian dies. 

The warm, blinding light of a planet’s destruction envelops him and he feels only a second of pain before he knows he is gone, his body vaporized and his soul left floating in the ether. 

It is a relief, at first. The pain and ache and adrenaline that filled his body drain away into nothing. For a moment, he feels calmer than he has in days or even perhaps years. He can sense the force around him, feel it in a way he’s never felt it before, a way he never thought possible, and he spares a moment to think that if the Jedi felt it like this, suffusing their very beings with warmth, perhaps it is understandable that they were capable of so very much.

But as his pain fades, so does the sensation of Jyn’s arms around him. Her touch disappears into the mist of recollection and, for a moment, the ache in his soul almost surpasses the pain that had been in his body. He is alone again. There is no one. He would have thought that after all this time he’d have become used to the loss, used to the loneliness, but it would seem that he’s not the hardened criminal he pretends to be. It hurts.

Then—

It feels like an embrace, like a part of the warm force that surrounds him but more intense, more vital and filled with something that Cassian realizes, after a startled moment, is love. It feels like arms embracing him. It feels familiar, like protection from cold and the smell of metal and the well-known ringing of the anvil. It feels like—

“Maarva?” Cassian whispers, and it shouldn’t be possible because he doesn’t have lips or a tongue or lungs anymore, but something must have worked because he hears, wrapping itself around him like a blanket, a response. 

“Cassian,” she says, and it feels like a hole in Cassian’s heart that had been long ignored but never filled begins to close. 

Cassian can’t get choked up anymore, can’t cry, but the feeling is still there and it must have been communicated somehow because he feels the warmth around him strengthen like arms tightening their hold.

“I’m so proud of you,” says Maarva, and Cassian gasps a shuddering breath with lungs that don’t exist. 

He tries to speak but fails, trailing off into a wounded sound of pure feeling. 

“I am,” says Maarva. “You did it. Cassian, you did it. You found the plans. You saved people. You’re a hero, Cassian, and I couldn’t be prouder.”

“I failed so many times,” he whispers. “I did so many things I’m not proud of.”

“But you persevered,” says Maarva. “You kept going, and you triumphed, Cassian. The legacy of your victory will endure when the remnants of your failures have crumbled into dust.”

Cassian does not know how to respond to that, so he says nothing, simply letting himself exist in the vicinity of the woman he has missed for so long. 

And then a familiar presence appears behind him, and Cassian knows without looking that Clem is here. 

“I missed you,” Cassian whispers. He feels a sensation that resembles, more than anything, a hand on his shoulder. 

“I was proud to give you my name,” Clem says, and Cassian chokes out a laugh. 

“It was just a code,” he says.

“I know,” says Clem. “I’m still proud.”

Another voice chimes in, young and painfully familiar. It’s a voice he’s heard over and over again, in person and in a recording and in his memory.

“That was incredible, Cassian,” says Nemik. “Absolutely incredible. You’ve topped Aldhani. I always knew you were a revolutionary at heart.”

“You inspired me,” Cassian manages, and somehow, though none of them have bodies, he knows that Nemik is smiling. 

And then, in a language that Cassian hasn’t heard spoken in years and yet that is as familiar as his own hands and his own tongue, speak two more voices. 

“Kassa,” they say, and if he could, Cassian would be dropping to his knees.

“Mom? Dad?” he asks. Those words were the first he learned to say, and remembering them feels like freedom. 

“Yes,” they say.

“You’re not alone,” they say. “We’re not alone.”  

Suddenly, Cassian knows they’re right. He can feel his people all around him, can feel his sister, their presences as familiar as the wet forest air of his long-lost home.

“We’re proud of you, Kassa,” they are saying. “You did well. You helped us, you remembered us, you avenged us, and we’re proud of you. We love you, son of Kenari.”

If Cassian had still possessed a body, he thinks he would be crying. As it is, he simply basks in the relief of the pain and loneliness he has carried with him for so long and the joy of being, finally, in the presence of his whole family. 

Your father would have been proud of you, Jyn, he had said, there on the beach with her in his arms, and with the ease of long practice he had ignored the thoughts of his own father— fathers, really, and mothers and sisters and even brothers — and yet now here they are, here beyond his wildest dreams. They are here, they love him, and they are proud. 

It is more than he could have asked for. It is, quite possibly, more than he deserves. The thought does not bother him nearly as much as it might once have; he is far too happy to finally be here, among his family. 

Beside him, he feels Bodhi, startled and a bit regretful yet triumphant. He feels Baze and Chirrut, hand in hand. He feels Melshi, sad but so damn proud. He even feels, beyond his wildest dreams, the presence of Kay at his side.

He feels that they have won, though he did not live to see the victory. He feels that they saved people. He feels that what they did was worth it all.

And then, suddenly, slotting in beside him like the final piece of the puzzle that was Cassian’s life, Jyn is there. She is warm in the force beside them, bright like the stardust she is named for. She is radiant. He thinks that if she could, she would be taking his hand. 

“We did it,” she says quietly. She sounds far more at peace than he ever heard her in life. She sounds happy.

“We did,” says Cassian. “We really did.”

Slowly, gently, he feels an invisible force tugging him forward, towards his family and an ever-growing light. It does not feel forceful or cold as he might once have imagined it; the feeling is soft and tender, a request more than a command. 

“Come with us,” say his family. 

Cassian is warm. He is surrounded by more love than he has ever known. 

“We will be with you,” they say. “You are not alone.”

Perhaps for the first time since he was a child, Cassian believes them wholeheartedly.

Around him, his friends — his family — are present and triumphant. Jyn’s presence is solid beside him. He tries to squeeze her hand with a body that no longer exists, and feels a sensation resembling an answering squeeze in return.

“Are you ready?” she asks.

“Yeah,” he says softly, “I am.”

And, together with his family, Cassian steps into the light.

#star wars #rogue one #cassian #andor #cassian andor #rebelcaptain #wren writes #i've never written rogue one fic before so i hope i'm getting the tags right lol #i can't believe i've never written about cassian before this! been having feelings about that man since 2016 #mcd #major character death #<- just in case -- this is like the fluffiest possible fic that could merit an mcd tag #because i'm like that #finish what you started 2023 #i finished what i started

[herrmannhalsteadproduction]

Okay, NOBODY ASKED FOR THIS REALLY, BUT! NOW I'm thinking about this Herrmann/Halstead Production AU where Bex gets with Beau and I need to write a bit out just to get it out of my brain, lol! Under the cut if you're interested:

I think I would tweak things from the start so that there's more interaction between Bex and the Halsteads where Pat demands more time with her because he's such a controlling asshole. This would give her more of a relationship with Will and Jay from the get go and be a different source of tension. Then, I would have her get into music earlier and it would be an important escape for her. So much so that she really wants to pursue it full time and decides to do that after high school instead of going to college which makes for a bit of a scuffle with Chris and Cindy. She'll still find the same group of friends, but it's because she answers an ad online looking for a singer for a band and meets up with them at their warehouse practice space to try out. (Pls picture Jay's face - "You did WHAT.") They end up coming across the Taggerts the same way on the bar scene and strike up a friendship. Except her and Beau really butt heads at first because he likes riling her up because he thinks she's uptight and she thinks he's just an unserious flirt with an edge of jerk. But there is TENSION and SPARKS. More of a frenemies to lovers to friends/lovers type arc.

I have vague thoughts for how things would be different for the brothers too, but I can't talk myself into another 50 part series YET.

#a herrmann/halstead production #one chicago #one chicago fanfiction #fic thoughts #au of an au #because i'm LIKE THAT

[icescrabblerjerky]

Been playing a little of the critically acclaimed MMPORPGER FFXIV.

#ffxiv #miquo'te #gideon falk #yes she is named after gideon from locked tomb #and columbo #because i'm like that

[figureofdismay]

strange daughter, her enchanted bridegroom

Oh, lament, for we are hapless, and made to repeat certain patterns, tracking soot-marks ever forward from what was burned, what we said we would not burn again, the pains of our mothers, the preventative medicine, the suffering shape of ruins left behind. We see it, and still cannot recall, or avert, or abstain from placing our feet, with heads baffled by concerns minute and swarm-like, into footsteps ready-made.

You have a waxwork daughter, come and make her sit before the fire to see if it will make her grow dewy, or bend in some semblance of living calm. She works away her idle hours like curls shaved from a bar of soap to make it last, with precise and quiet ritual, with bowed head and neat hand, as she has learned, as she is allowed. Yet behind the grille of studious pursuits, behind the closed shutter of downcast eyes and good labour, she is not dutiful. She is inward gazing, and filled with songs and a slurry of dilute rages, and pride, and the machinery ratchet of a thing raised slow from echoing, earthen depths with unrelieved dread and sick joy, awaiting what might appear.

The snow begins. That was always the beginning,  the snow, the foggy snow-light in the deep of night, in the wild wood with all its stern, watching gazes. Walking there, precipitous flight slowed, a lost traveller, with empty pockets, fearing the wood will take him, and lead him, and keep him wound asleep inside its many-caverned heart— but instead salvation, riches, an impossible promise that hides, beneath its dazzle and perfume, a cutting barb. Or a woman alone, reckless, spending a last hope, too late, the hasty flight to rescue what she had treasured and cast aside, a love’s quest shocked from her lungs, from her slender, sturdy limbs in airy wrappings, by the cold, cold, biting jaws of winter, though she struggles on.

That is the definition, the vast, inescapable winter's night suspended before you, its trial laid bare, the scales that hang to weigh your selfless love and your sinking regret, is the dividing line, the bride’s great test of devotion to see if you will turn back and prosper, or push on, and on, towards the heart of the enchantment where love sits -- where you have left him, to swallow his own poisoned barb, to where he sleeps in death. The swirled, brilliant haze, and behind that ice-gauze veil the unforgiving twilight wilderness that you must cross, and its unknowable greedy shadows, the frayed, yawning gaps in the substance of the world. The tiny, pattering hush of snowflakes landing and the sharp, billowing air, and-- dwindling thought until thought is the hush, and you cease to push your shins through the soft, soft eiderdown, powder white and you pause.

And in pausing, wonder at the far distant summer you left behind, the thick, yellow heat, the insect hum of the peach orchard where you had walked together, in gracious sunlight in full fruit, those luminous days in full love’s-bloom, a dream, still vivid, fleeing just ahead of you, yet always a fathomless distance away.

#rewrote it again for [redacted] #because I'm like that #poetry #poem #my writing #[redacted] #batb

[faeriekit]

"This fic was ai generated—" Cool, so lemme block you real quick

#the ethics are whack but more importantly you didn't even want to write it?? who is it even for?? not you? not me? #you didn't even have enough interest in the premise to take a crack at it?? then who cares? #please don't populate in my search results I'm looking for things that people wrote because they liked something #ao3

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

#ramble #if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands #you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things #some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible #the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think #i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex #this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!! #how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about #yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian #you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate

[marypsue]

Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.

All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.

#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day #and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back. #he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi #he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes #but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them. #and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him. #your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back. #i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently

[seriousturd]

#tumblr polls #random polls #poll time #i love looking at usernames and wondering what it MEANS #so many of you guys have such cool sounding usernames #i just picked random words i like LMAO #serious because people always see me as super serious irl (i'm just a very anxious perfectionist lol) #and turd because i have the sense of humor of a toddler and think poop jokes are funny

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

Also increasingly aware that a LOT of people "manage" getting through the 40+ hour work week by sleeping less than is healthy and relying on stimulants like coffee and energy drinks to keep them going.

For people who are unwilling or unable to do this...work really does just dominate your life. Like we really should not have to rely on unhealthy practices just to have a social life or keep on top of housework or whatever.

I know I post about this a lot but I'm so TIRED all the time and it's just so depressing that this is how we're expected to spend the one life we have.

#i have to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night to even barely function #with sleep #getting ready for work #commute #cooking #and errands #I typically have maybe 2-3 hours to actually do what i want in a day #and I'm usually too tired to actually do the things i want to do #and that's with a very short commute #if i actually had a long commute I'd basically do nothing but work #i see my friends like once every few weeks or months #because we're all so fucking busy with work and have such little time for socialising #and none of us even have kids or anything!!

[calwasfound]

11 year old me walked so i could run (to my computer to draw these)

#cal draws #percy jackson #annabeth chase #pjo series #pjo tv show #pjotv #percy jackon and the olympians #grover underwood #pjo fanart #percabeth #the last two were drawn on my phone on the bus because i was like 'no way i'm going to fall back into pjo a ha ha (like a liar)' #and then ep 4 grabbed me by the throat #pjo

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

#Sir Crocodile #Monkey D Dragon #Emporio Ivankov #Dragodile #Crocodad #My art #One Piece #We're not gonna talk about the work I should be doing rn I have Severe Procrastinitis and I'm doing my best okay #Alternative version where it was both Crocodile and Garp beating Dragon's ass before Iva-chan joined in but that was too much effort lmao #I'm a believer in Dragon being a Wind Logia so don't worry guys he is 100% taking this beating intentionally #He knows what he did and he's dealing with the concequences of his actions. With grace. #You know I realize Iva-chan should be two whole meters taller than Crocodile but we're just gonna ignore that #Look Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and being like ''Crocoboy is right you fucked up bad Dragon'' brings me joy #And for real I've been wanting to draw this for months. But never did because I had other shit to do. Which I still do #But. You know. Sometimes you need to draw a shitpost. It's ✨ self-care ✨ #And appearently One Piece shitpost comics have become the thing I draw for myself on occassion

[kottkrig]

People liking your personal OCs is still such a crazy feeling, I've been doing this for years and ppl asking about them still fills my entire heart with warmth and idk how to handle it

You enjoy this fictional guy I made up for fun?? Whose only content is random artwork or writing made by me and a handful of other artists at most? They have no show/book/game with a large fandom, it's just one person with an art blog?? I love u

#i do the same to others OCs I like I will ask all about em #if its my friends OC they probably have a free seat in my brain #kott talks #edit: ppl tagging this post with how personal and important their characters are to them as creators #and positive feedback hits deep because of it #I see you and I'm so happy for u

[egophiliac]

bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word

I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.

(I'm sorry)

#art #twisted wonderland #(sort of atemporally somewhere between episodes 6 and 7?) #(i - i wanted that lilia joke okay) #long post #tumblr went 'you can post up to 30 images now :)' and i was like well okay then #anyway once again i'm sorry #i'd say i don't know why i did this but actually it is because i wanted kalim to scandalize everyone #i tried to keep it...you know...tasteful. a tasteful amount of fucks. #hey remember how the framing premise for the original birthday interviews was that yuu worked for the school paper #because i have never forgotten. in my head they are still getting up to all kinds of wacky reporting hijinks.

[reasonsforhope]

Sometimes you just have one of those moments where the progress we've made as a culture get thrown into stark relief. You look at something and go "Holy shit, that would never have happened when I was a kid."

Today, I had one of those moments when I realized that the teenage boys I'm working with are just. genuinely, openly enthusiastic about going to Build-a-Bear for their outing.

These are sixteen and seventeen year old boys! They just had a whole conversation about what to name their "cute", mostly new squishmallows! They're genuinely excited that they're going to Build-a-Bear this weekend and asking other kids to pick up specific accessories for them!!

Holy shit, that never would've happened when I was 16. None of the boys would have dared to be visibly interested - and neither would most of the girls! There would have been a million gay jokes and "Haha, you're a girl" jokes and "What are you, a baby?" jokes. Teenagers weren't even supposed to care about anything back then!

Less than 15 years later, and I'm watching three 17 year old boys treat all that as not even worthy of comment.

So let's call that a reason for hope. Even when the kids aren't alright, in some ways apparently they are alright. Go Gen Z, honestly. It's so lovely to watch you guys just openly doing and saying stuff that, when I was a teen, would've been a social death sentence.

#obligatory disclaimer that this really really obviously is not universal #I do live in a major progressive city #there's definitely a level of a liberal bubble effect here #but it's still really powerful to see it #because even in a major liberal enclave there were so many limits on the gender roles and homophobia etc. etc. fronts #and also the limits of the oppressive weight of obligatory teen apathy lol #seriously go gen z. so glad you guys decided cringe is dead. I love you for that so much #and I love it for you #not news #life #hope #homophobia #sexism #teens #teenagers #progress #gen z #btw if it wasn't clear I'm a #millennial #plush toy #plushie #squishmallows #build a bear #stuffed animal #like the idea of almost any teenager much less teenage boys #saying IN FRONT OF THEIR PEERS #that they are excited about their STUFFED ANIMALS #when I was a teenager #????? #cannot imagine that ever happening.