#because she's always been The Normal One | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

july-19th-club · 1 year

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the first time my mother and i ever talked about it was after i tried and more or less failed to attend the calling hours for the mother of a school classmate who’d passed away. it was in ninth grade. and we got into the funeral home and i’d been lucky and never really been in one that i could remember anymore so i had no social script and it didn’t occur to me until we’d left but the thing that was fucking me up the most was the idea that i would have to see and interact with someone i saw every day in normal contexts (gym class, CCD, the bus) in a Grief Context and i didnt know how to be normal with him ever again because there were like, no established ground rules for that that i knew of and at this funeral home i just got. SLAMMED with the most massive and impenetrable wave of nonverbal that i’ve still ever experienced in my life, and i’m in there sweating and shaking and incapable of communicating why i’m being weird when it’s not my relative’s funeral and i basically only knew the woman from church. and mom puts our names in the guest book and gets us back out to the car pretty quickly and once i’ve come down a bit from the Edge Of Meltdown she’s like so i’d been meaning to talk to you about this at some point but it seems relevant now i have suspected for many years that you might be autistic. and at the time it was such a relief to have somebody else say it that i was like oh wow thank god i’m not insane for also thinking that. but in retrospect i’ve always been like, fuck, and you just didn’t mention it? nice nice nice that’s cool that hasn’t affected me you’re good you’re good what the fuck

anyway after that we sought out NO psychologists and did NO accommodations and it was only ever talked about between us as A Thing You And I Both Know but it never factored into all the things i still needed and just about every work-around i have is still something i had to develop myself

#in more recent years ive come to also observe that my mother hits many many hallmarks for adhd but she'll never question this herself #because she has a different concept of what that means so she'll never be able to apply such a word to herself without feeling #like real bad about it bro #there's not a neurotypical brain in my whole family which isnt surprising looking at our genetic history but she's not allowed to see it #because she's always been The Normal One #in a household filled with bipolar disorder and attention disorders and autistic people and depressed bastards . so she Has To Be Normal #i have no idea what i would be like if i hadnt spent my entire life just instinctively trying to be more Visibly Like Everyone Else #like i dont even think of it as masking it's just what was the obvious thing to do. you cant be visibly weird so you have to work at this #but also i am ABLE to do that. so i feel like i shouldnt bitch about how hard it was like what if i had never even been able to mask #wouldve been harder. no?#idk even to this day im like but my experience is not as difficult as some people's and i dont have a real diagnosis #so i shouldnt feel i can speak to these things #idk

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hylialeia · 10 months

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you don't get it. she loved him once. she didn't have a maester, she had a brother. he sold their mother's crown to keep them fed. he said Dany, please. she loved him, once.

#I feel like the tragedy of viserys and dany is they really might have been close and loved each other normally of they'd been allowed to #barristan says viserys always seemed aerys's son but when has westeros had any sort of developed understanding of mental illness #dany knew him best and she said the last kindness left him when he sold their mother's crown #it begs the question how much kindness there would have been if they hadn't been children forced out on the streets #a brother dany says never forgave her for their mother's death giving her birth.#but who told her stories and brought her up while his own mental faculties were wearing thin #it doesn't feel like tywin keeping tyrion based on lannister name and blood alone #she loved him once.#that viserys had some inherent lecherous evil in him doesn't feel in line with that to me #it doesn't feel in line with dany please #if ned is the good guardian to tywin's bad one viserys was just a boy who found himself in that role under the worst possible circumstances #and who under duress of those awful circumstances and his own undiagnosed mental illness #(for which he never got any help or support)#failed his sister very very badly #leaving daenerys to feel the hole of his absence even when he was still alive #because she loved him. once #lol anyway!#asoiaf #daenerys targaryen #viserys targaryen

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anna-scribbles · 2 months

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do you think émilie agreste knew, on the day she became too weak to leave that house, that she never would again

#having a normal one. don’t worry about it #just thinking about how she never escaped even in death etc etc #do you think she knew even as she pleaded with gabriel to give up on her that he never would.#that no one truly loved her enough to heed her warnings #that adrien was going to be left alone #what must it have been like for her to grow slower and weaker and quieter until she was as still as the bed d #do you think she knew she was becoming another fixture of that house #beautiful and immovable and silent #how long did gabriel have that coffin ready in the basement. how much time did he spend building it. did nathalie help.#did emilie know where they went in those long hours she laid there dying? that they intended to keep her there -always dying and never dead?#is that why she left videos? because she knew they’d build an altar for her haunting and she had to give her ghost a voice?#i think often about gabriel saying that emilie never wanted what she deserved #i think about gabriel and nathalie not letting her die. i think about ladybug not letting chat noir die.#circles and cycles ending up right back where you started #you know. having a normal one #anna rambles #emilie agreste #thirteen

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wildstar25 · 2 months

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MiqoMarch Day 10 - Free Day

AU Jobs pt.2: SCHOLAR Just before setting out to Limsa Lominsa, Arsay's guardian -a lalafel named Emrara Emra- would gift her not only Arsay's now treasured ribbon, but an heirloom of great import. A blue stone that had been passed down in Emrara's family for generations with a strange symbol caved into its face. Supposedly it came from a time where three powerful schools of magic began to clash for reasons unknown. Little did Arsay know how useful that stone would be on her adventures, or that it would lead her to uncover mysteries around the very same same city her guardian always dreamed of finding.

#miqomarch #miqomarch2024 #ffxiv #miqo'te #ffxiv gpose #WOL posting #Arsay Nun #arsay would still have couscous even as a scholar!!#but it would be emerald carbuncle instead of normal carbuncle #also i guess mini lore drop for emrara emra #but shes a descendant of one of the few people who managed to not get hit with the tonberry curse in nym #and that scholar job stone has been passed down from generation to generation #it always made emrara curious about this great magical city and about arcane geometry #she takes up the practice and her dream becomes discovering the lost city of nym #because pre 2.0 those ruins where very much not there #she initially hired arsays parents as helpers while she traversed vyldbrand for anything that could point to the location of the city

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harvestmoth · 5 months

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okay last one. au where nothing goes wrong at all ever (a lie) and melia venam gay moment

#i like this game a normal amount (also a lie)#everyone should play now do it now please #pokemon rejuvenation #oh another thing about twitter. makes me sad i cant yell about things in the tags there like i always do because there are no tags there #if i wanted to id have to make it into a thread and im pretty sure people read those. so awful #i mean not that i say anything worthwhile here usually but still. no one reads this here. i could yell my thoughts if i had any #anyways about the au :] i have no idea how it would work #i have no thoughts ever at all i was just replaying the game and the one little line melia says at the picnic made me sad #the one where she says its her last day in gearen and asks the player to go with her to gdc #and then she just goes ah nevermind that was weird of me to ask #and no… wait come back… id love to go to gdc with you… :[#and thats where that idea came from. idk where the rest of it came from though i think ive been cursed or somethinv #and also something something her saying shes afraid to go to gdc alone only for her to end up in the past also alone sometging something. ow #my thoughts are very coherent i promise (no they arent)

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danwhobrowses · 6 hours

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Okay yeah I wasn't ever gonna be contained with just one post so, Callowmoore stuff that's on rotisserie in my brain from ep.94

Long and deep looks at each other and a hug right off the bat!

When asked by Laudna if they were okay in ep. 91, Ashton deflected with 'say that again?' and 'are any of us?', but when Fearne asks they give a genuine answer and then also ask her how she's feeling, because she's been quiet and they care

Ashton, despite hurting when they're touched and exhausted so the chronic pain is as intense as the first time, still wanting to cuddle with Fearne - and feeling at ease when they do

And like, the way they were trying to articulate it implies that they've wanted to ask for quite some time, but the timing has been off or situations have gotten in the way, and they don't want to wait any longer

But also they don't ask if they can cuddle they ask if Fearne wants to; they want to, but they ask Fearne if she doesn't want to sleep alone, because her comfort is as important or more important than their own

Fearne given her past experiences with people of course thinks they mean the other kind of company, which she notes she does want (so that's not off the table) but asks if they could just cuddle - to which Ashton doesn't entirely deny either, but notes that they're tired and in a lot of pain right now so they too was asking for the same

Also the fact that Fearne, who has been in a threesome inside a corrupted haunted wood, will later flirt with a dark echo of herself, and spooned with a ghost pirate captain, got so flustered about asking Ashton that she just wants to cuddle

Despite the awkwardness they still just laugh and joke together through it, they're awkward but it's in a sweet way

All of Ashton's immediate action the second they realised Fearne was missing - similar to how they wanted to find her after the shard incident but this time in a position where they could take action - no nonsense, no pissing contest with Chetney about her scent being on their bed, "Find. Them. Now."

And then still being soft after seeing Fearne again, because all that matters right now is that she's still here. And another post I saw said it better but, Ashton never seeks to change or 'correct' parts of who Fearne is; she can still follow cute animals just next time bring a buddy along (which given how they were in bed together would imply meaning them), they love her for her, fae and all, they just want her to be safe

Not entirely ep. 94 but given how on 91 Ashton pointed out that they needed to sleep and 'figure out who they wanted to be', and then here ask Fearne to be there beside them so they could have someone to wake up to, it to me at least says a lot about what Ashton has already decided; and how despite both of them having dealt with grief and anger and helplessness by bottling it up, hiding away, and shouldering it alone, this time they both wanted to just feel at ease with each other

#callowmoore #ashton greymoore #fearne calloway #fearne x ashton #ashton x fearne #ashley johnson #taliesin jaffe #critical role #cr3 #cr3 spoilers #c3e94 #cr spoilers #bells hells #did I mention that I'm not normal about them because AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #shipper rotisserie brain go brrrrr #Orym's passive perception 'damnnn' was great too #I have been praying for 5 weeks for just a tiny bit of comfort between the two and I got a whole buffet!#I mean I trust Matt and narratively it was juicy but c'mon man you couldn't give them one night? The night of FCG blowing up??#I wonder: if Ashton was the big spoon would they have woke up with Fearne to join the walk/fight?#I ofc wish they returned to the same bed but she was extra exhausted - next time hopefully #Zathuda still needs to die - painfully - maybe they can do it together; steal his dragon and fancy cloak #Ludinus too - live show's a big stage (half expect Sam to debut his new player then) big post-fight kiss at Aeor maybe/please?#hopefully we can also see them pickpocketing each other again because it's their love language #but so is the softness and comfort and awkward giggling and innuendo #which is why I hate that most villains tend to look past/through Ashton - they don't see them but Fearne sees them; they see each other #tag reader bonus - Ashton always sleeps on Fearne's right: so she can see/poke their glass slab but also so their stone arm doesn't cut her

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feelslikegold · 21 days

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while I understand what this person is saying….the difference in how their partners are treated makes no sense to me lmao. I have seen the other partners (some who might argue are just as if not more private than josh’s) be included in fic??? with tabs kept on all of them to the point where fans even notice *instagram comments* left from them???? it’s so funny that only josh gets this kind of treatment when every other relationship (hannah doesn’t count) is obsessed over by fans…..

we don’t know for sure what jenny was to danny and yet why do I still see people casually mentioning her and posting about what she’s up to when her socials were private too while she was with him????? she was clearly very private and yet……?? people obsessed over talking about them…..

respecting their privacies should be happening, but respect all of them? the same? 😭 josh’s partner is treated like a curse if he’s mentioned which is pretty respectful ig, but why are there tiktoks of other partners along to the sound of “she’s getting that dick” like it’s just SO so fucking weird to me that this fandom does not respect women no matter what and has also treated josh so oddly when he came out 😭

#if ron’s photos were taken from a private account and leaked then that’s absolutely one thing but I will never get over just how weird this #fandom acts towards josh the second they learned he has a male partner 💀#if you’re going to play the respect card (which is appreciated/should be the standard as fans) you need to respect ALL of their partners???#if you’re weird about only josh………it’s actually weird :’)#ok rant over #I just cannot handle hypocrisy 😭#god josh himself is going to post wedding photos one day to his instagram and fans are going to be so weird about them 😭😭😭#respect josh’s privacy always but don’t basically re-closet him after coming out??? I just do not understand it #(in the terms of him posting wedding photos…not rn because he doesn’t share much of his private life still)#but if he had an issue with ron’s photos they literally would not have been posted ?????? ron adds all fans as friends and his facebook is #very public……..he’d know what josh is and isn’t comfortable with 😭#also don’t twist my words bc clearly if you’re cropping josh OUT and only posting his partner that is so fucking weird 🧍🏻‍♀️like.#just be normal!!!! just be normal oh my god #you don’t even have to make 3738392938 tweets like this like literally just be normal and leave ALL of their partners alone 😭#except miss hannah because she might die from lack of attention 💔#also ignore me bc I have to run my mouth or *i’ll* die #also hate to be that bitch but *some* treatment towards josh really is homophobic lmfao but I will not get into that rn when I have already #yapped this much <3

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lastofthe20thcenturygirls · 29 days

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the plot twist at the end of episode 2 was like the plot twist that was yuri!!! on ice episode 10

#just changed the whole perception #i mean ofc he knew her their schools being so close and all and kdrama leads always meet each other in either childhood or in high school #but like he was so in love with her #he wrote the song for her #he called her on the radio because she was going through such hard time #even tho he has been contemplating ending his life the way he was looking at her on the road #his favourite candy being the one she gave him #the way he sacrificed his already hurt shoulder just so she could nap in peace 😭#it was all for her and it's been only 2 episodes #i am really not being normal about this am i #please drama gods let it never disappoint me #lovely runner #kdrama #ryu sun jae #im sol

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derpinette · 1 month

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SPERG YOUR HEART OUT

#EVERYONE #NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#& FOREVER #i love it when my friends &/or mutuals post about their interest & Passions i will like your posts but really i Loved them.#i deleted some tags because they might be interpreted as weird(er than usual) but 0_0 i am ♯Passionate about ♯Passion (for fashion - Bratz)#still kind of feel like a worthless human being but i secured another hangout in like a week so yayyy ^_^#I GET TO BOTHER SOMEONE TOO NOW i just wish people did that to me too why am i like always the one raving #literally have to beg my friend to give me updates on her things even if i normally hate it even i go out of my way to look for things #for us to discuss -_- GIRL please i am for real not just faking for politeness who do you think i am I WANT TO KNOW #so effin excited OMG i have like so much to say & the greatest thing is that this girl has no knowledge at all about my Thing #so i can explain from the very beginning You literally have no idea how much i practiced the conversation in my head #ever since she told me & she said she wanted me to go on & talk about it more i have been Devising My Plan #OMG YAYYYY ^_^_^_^_^_^ AIMU SO HEPI AAARRRGHHHHHGSJDJSHSJDHSHSG #& OFC i had to plug it in the first time i met her in person i just could not help myself there was an NF on that day & i told her i wanted #to catch it i had to go in the end for a different reason & BTW it was such a whiplash the show itself was so fun but the winner... 0_0 NO.#next i will ask her about berserk & maybe even read it so we can talk about it because she really likes it #i dropped it when i was 14 because the laptop i was using to read it was complete crap Just like mine is RN #like a section of my keyboard is completely dead T_T so i have to use the on-screen one...

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acaciapines · 20 days

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rotating noelle around in my brain. i need the dess raises kris au to be real RIGHT NOW.

please talk to me about the dess raises kris au i think im gonna explode. also start writing it this summer maybe :3333

#chatter #drkau #posts that need context. basically despite being called 'dess raises kris' neither dess nor kris show up for the first arc of the story lol #it would cover dark worlds 1 + 2 + 3 which i would make up #and its about noelle susie and ralsei being the three closing dark worlds and becoming besties #BUT ALSO so ive always worried id never be as excited about noelle as kris #n thus do her poorly when shes literally like one of the main protagonists #BUT NO. IM GOOD NOW. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IM GONNA DO WITH HER #what do you do when your entire family has been defined by a grief you dont feel. by the death of a sister and friend you dont remember #what do you do when their grief shapes the form of your life and you keep bucking against it #because now youre the baby of the family and everything is On You #and you finally FINALLY find somewhere where you can maybe be someone #only to find out that that world never wanted you either. that world wasnt ever supposed to exist for you #what the fuck are you supposed to do #ANYWAYS NOELLE HOLIDAY-DREEMURR....NOELLE HOLIDAY-DREEMURR I LOVE YOU.....#(ps yes she gets a hyphenated name i wonder what might lead to this....)#(pps no i dont know what kris's last name is in this au skull emoji #chara would take dess's when they get married but dess wouldnt keep holiday (or let kris keep dreemurr)#cause she did. technically. kidnap them oops)#ANYWAYS IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS AU LITERALLY SHAKING IT AROUND LIKE A DOG WITH A CHEW TOY

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best-enemies · 1 month

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I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]

Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)

Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]

(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)

LIKE!!!!!!!

Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.