#being a responsible adult sucks lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

good-beanswrites · 8 months

Note

Hello hello! It's me again! (That one Anon who requested Lies with Kazui & Yuno, but I've set up my account now so no need to ask anonymously again lol) Thank you for satisfying my previous request, it was such a delight to read. I keep rereading it every now and then and I'm still always left in awe with it like jesus christ you didn't have to go all in on that im sobbing with the 0207 friendship dynamic.

I've also seen your latest post and drabble asks. I'd like to request from the Drabble List#1 - #5 “Idiots. They are all idiots.” with Es themselves!

Let the prisoners have fun and Es just stares at them nonchalantly, silently judging their idiocy from afar, hell, maybe even let Yuno/Mikoto convince them to join. You can do anything as long as you think it'll fit, they're all just a little silly (minus the fact they're in prison lol).

With all that said, take your time and no rush! I can always wait. Thanks a lot! ...now back to rereading my previous request for the nth time,, i love it so much,, thankyouagain

Ah thank you so much, that means so much!! I'm so glad you liked it, that one was really nice to write :'D And yesss thank you for the request -- this was such a blast to do as well! (though I also made myself emotional over Es' lost childhood, that was less fun ;___;) I debated on several activities within the prison but thought this was plausible and fun for some mid-T1 shenanigans

Es had a job to do. They had many eyes watching them. They had several lives in their hands. They had heavy responsibilities. They didn’t have time for something as silly as ‘video game night’, regardless of the laughter that bubbled up from the common room as they passed by. They were not way tempted to join, regardless of how much fun the group seemed to be having when they peered their head in.

Fuuta had whined that Es had replaced all his requests with completely outdated consoles and games, confirming they had been successful in choosing things without any access to the internet or outside world. Plus, they thought, this gave the older prisoners a fighting chance with some of the games.

Not that they cared whether or not the prisoners had a good time. That wasn’t any concern of theirs. Even in these long periods of rest between their more eventful duties, they must remain focused.

The laughter crescendoed into delighted screaming.

Es figured one more look inside wouldn’t hurt. They were supposed to be keeping an eye on everyone, after all.

The prisoners had gathered various chairs and bedding material, creating makeshift couches. Some piled onto the new seating, some splayed out on the ground, others stood in excitement. The television was so small, the two players needed to lean all the way forward to see.

Mahiru bounced in her seat as Yuno whipped around her remote. Fuuta was demanding Kazui play better, gesturing wildly at the screen. Shidou chucked to himself as the others grew more intense. Haruka kept asking questions about the game, receiving an answer only about half the time.

As the match got closer, Yuno leapt to her feet. She tried to shimmy in front of Kazui and block his view. He stood to prod her out of the way. Muu called foul play, though she said it with a thrill rather than accusation. Fuuta repeated it -- with quite a lot of accusation -- and tried to push Yuno out of the way. Mikoto tried to hold him back, voicing his support of Yuno’s methods.

The others got caught up in the yelling. Amane’s eyes were wide in anticipation. Kotoko pumped her fist as the battle got even closer. The room erupted in movement and shoving and tripping and remote pulling -- until they yanked the tiny television forward.

The thick cord came free, and the screen went black just before a winner was announced. Ten voices chorused their outrage.

Es shook their head. “Idiots. They are all idiots.”

They turned away as the prisoners hurried to set everything up again. They were just about to turn the corner into the panopticon when Yuno’s voice called from behind.

“Hey!” She ran up, taking advantage of their brief pause. “I saw you passing by. Why don’t you come join us?”

Not for the first time, Es wished they had enough height to look down on all the prisoners. “I’m your warden. I’m not some child here to play games with you all.”

She pursed her lips. “I’m not a kid either. But I’m still down for a night to unwind.”

“You’re lucky to have the luxury to relax. I, on the other hand, am busy right now.”

Yuno made a show of looking left, then right, across the empty hallway. “And what exactly are you doing right now?”

“I’m working.”

She frowned. “Uh-huh…”

“I am!” They fumbled for more, coming up blank. They should have known the moment she came skipping over to them that it would be impossible to fool her. There was no need for this routine check of the prison; everyone was gathered in the common room except them. Yuno had known this before uttering a single word.

Her hands fluttered in a dismissive gesture. “Too much work is never good for you. It doesn’t matter how mature you are -- if you get too caught up in your job it’ll drive you to some crazy things.” She smirked. “Just look at Shidou. Or Mikoto!”

“I could look at you…”

Though surprise flickered across her face, she kept grinning. “Exactly! So let’s get you in here.” She tugged on their arm. Prisoners couldn’t physically move Es against their will.

They huffed as they found themselves inching closer and closer to the entryway.

“I suppose I can come and watch,” they muttered, “and still keep an eye on you all.”

“No! No more working!” She managed to get them into the room. “Here, you can take my spot in the next round.”

Kazui looked over. “Who said you were getting the next spot?”

“Oh come on, I was clearly going to win that one.”

“Clearly? I'm pretty sure was seconds away from beating you.”

“Well then, I guess Es can take your spot.”

“Es is playing?” Haruka looked up excitedly.

“I haven’t agreed to anything yet.”

It was as if they hadn’t said anything at all. The others launched into a discussion of who would give their remote to Es? Who would they’d face off against? Were they resetting the bracket they’d begun? Which game would they return to? The ten argued in circles for a while. For a group of murderers, they were insistent on a fair tournament. After breaking up some bickering that could have become physical, Es once again wondered how they ended up watching over a mess like this.

At length the game was chosen, and a rematch was slated for Yuno and Kazui later in the night. To save themself time and sanity, Es went ahead and picked their opponent.

“I’ll play Fuuta.”

He had been the obvious choice: he could supply enough chatter for the both of them, so Es could remain silent. Also, he was guaranteed to win and free them from an obligation to play more than one round. They flashed a look at some of the more observant prisoners, hoping they didn’t tip them off.

However, no one was really watching them too keenly. Mahiru clapped in joy. Yuno beamed. Mikoto shoved a remote into their hands. Haruka started rapidly explaining the rules to them. Shidou directed Es to their seat in the center. Kotoko gave them an encouraging nod. As expected, Fuuta was already deep into trash talk as he sat next to them.

They really were simple-minded people, more focused on this silly game than the fact their warden had just sat amongst them. It was dangerous to let one’s guard down in a place like this, Es reminded themself.

With a little jingle, the match began.

Their fingers flew across the controls. Though they had a rocky start, some sort of muscle memory kicked in. Surely this game had come out before they were born, and there was no way they’d played it regularly. None of that mattered much. Their little avatar was obviously gaining the lead.

Their eyes stayed fixed on the screen as they received slaps on the back and nudges. Their guard's cap was knocked off in the shuffling, but they couldn't risk picking it up. Voices called all around them.

“Aw, don’t just let the kid win!” Mikoto said.

“I’m not!” Fuuta was desperate. “They fucking tricked me! They’re a pro!”

Es felt energy run through their entire body. Their original plan already slipping away, they wondered if they could actually beat Fuuta. It would be fun to see… They leaned forward, holding their breath. The audience continued cheering the pair on. Once again, the room was swept up in shouts.

The match ended. A little banner flashed across the screen to name Es victorious. They jumped up, a small whoop escaping them.

They would’ve melted in shame right then and there, if the sound weren’t already drowned out by the surrounding chaos. The others laughed and shook Es in amazement. Fuuta let out a string of colorful language.

“That was incredible!”

“Holy shit!”

“How’d you do that?”

Es placed the cap back on their head, pulling it over their eyes. “I don’t know. And it doesn’t matter. I’m done for the night.” They tried to pass off the remote, but Mikoto pushed it back into their hands.

“Nuh-uh. I want to see this for myself.” He grabbed the other one from a dejected Fuuta. “Same game. Same characters. Lemme see what you’ve got.”

Es wasn’t meant to play one round, much less get caught up in their ridiculous tournament.

Don’t be an idiot, they told themself.

“Bring it on,” they told Mikoto.

#milgram #es #yuno kashiki #fuuta kajiyama #mikoto kayano #and everyone else #i always worry it gets too busy with too many characters but i think this works 👍#thank you for all your kind words!!! i feel like a broken record but it really means so much to me --#im so happy youre enjoying these as much as i am >:3 #my next one is going to be a bit more serious but it was really fun doing these lighter ones :')#they deserve a night of relaxation and fun! im absolutely obsessed with es' insistence on their duty and solemn attitude #because theyre just a kid! they need a break! theyd get excited and competitive just like anyone else! they should be allowed to!#UGH #i think es and amane are a bit too similar with their struggles with age and being controlled by adults where its harder to get along #but yuno also understands what its like to want to be seen as a responsible mature person despite a younger age #and shed know how best to say things lightly but still meaningfully <3 #yeah i thought about them doing sports or cooking or karaoke but this worked the best #haruka and amane dont have much experience with video games but i think theyd catch on quick #shidou has a lot of fun but he sucks ass LMAO #mahiru also isnt great but even if she was doing good shed let everyone else win to make sure their spirits stay up #im a sucker for writing where a character says something over and over and you just know theyre trying to convince themselves 😂#someone tell me to stop rambling in the tags and just make a new post for gods sake asdfsdfds #i hope you enjoy!#im late by now but woo happy getting your account set up 👏 welcome to the hellsite...#drabbles

31 notes · View notes

longelk · 2 years

Text

im a little bit pathetic cause i was only able to finish one more of these before i felt too stressed out to work on art anymore lol. this piece happens to represent this perfectly! :)

#first time i posted my art of mycos i think. which sucks cause i actually love these dudes they deserve better lmao #THE depression #im moving onn tuesday and im getting to my new place wednesday. idk when ill feel destressed enough to draw again #hopefully not long theres so much i wanna do. i hate being a responsible adult >:/#my art #mycologists #inscryption #fanart #i started sketches of other palette reqs i may feel like returning to these at some point. i really do love these stanky colors #CW:#blood #eye strain

253 notes · View notes

heartshapedcaskett · 1 year

Text

That whole “only children are spoiled” stereotype doesn’t take into consideration working and lower middle class families. My guy I quite literally did not have cable growing up. You also grow up extremely isolated and burdened with responsibility. I grew up to have the worst case of eldest daughter syndrome while being the only child my mother could have.

#also only children will be the only ones to care for their elderly parents #I will have to endure that experience alone #I take only child jokes really personally because ny childhood sucked #and my mama had two miscarriages so I quite literally lost my siblings #I am also the child in the family who is always called to take care of the sick and elderly in the family even tho I have cousins #the responsibility is always mine and I was forced to be an adult long before my peers #they don’t share- being an only child is why I share and gift give I understand the value and communication of sharing items and space #also the whole ONLY CHILDREN DON’T HAVE PEOPLE SKILLS THEY ARE SOOO SPOILLLEEEDDD #lmao have y’all ever met someone who was the youngest sibling my god #also some of y’all straight up abused and beat your brothers and sisters and are cruel to your peers #I may be an introvert but at least I did the work to learn people skills

6 notes · View notes

cookinguptales · 2 years

Text

bisexualcherryblossom said: truly bc i wasn sure if i could afford it and then i saw it sold out and i was devastated

------------------

RIGHT ;;

I was like “well, now isn’t a good time... but maybe if work goes well for the next couple months and the renovations come in under my max budget...” and then I blinked and it was sold out. ;;

#my dear professor #my dear dead professor lmao #I KNOW BEING ABLE TO SHOWER SAFELY IS MORE IMPORTANT but my DEAR professor lmao #being a responsible adult sucks!!#replies #puppet history tag

2 notes · View notes

ridersofbrohon · 2 years

Text

i just started a new job and it pays well enough, but i don't get paid til 8/19 and i went a full month making almost nothing and i still have to pay rent for August, so i can't buy things for myself quite yet and i'm so upset bc i finally found a strap harness i like

#this is a small problem in the grand scheme of things #but it's the one i'm most upset about #being a responsible adult sucks #personal #anyway if anyone wants to donate to my strap fund i have a paypal lmao

0 notes

avisisisis · 1 year

Text

I hate it when people make the DC characters feel scared of Phantom. Or when they make them freak out over how crazy his life is

Most of the characters would just go “Oh a Ghost King! That's cool” and either attack, befriend or ignore

They always write Dick to be the responsible one when he's not. If he saw this child he wouldn't go “Omg he's so young!!! Poor baby!!!” he'd go “Oh god no please don't let B see this one” and then “Hey this one's kind of fucked up. I'm going to keep it for a while to see what happens wish me luck🤞”

Or when they make the JL freak out about him. Guys, Flash is able to break reality, time travel, destroy the multiverse and more. If he finds out Danny is Dick's clone or something he'd go “again? How many clones are there?” and just vibe with it

Danny would be so happy to find people who just don't give a shit about how weird he is. He only has his friends and sister and they're just. Three people. This boy needs mental help and everyone freaking out about him isn't helping. He's just vibing with his new also overpowered friends

“Yeah so I'm half dead. I was killed by a ghost portal that opened right where I was, and instead of actually killing me it brought me back to life. I'm a ghost possessing its own body. Sometimes if I feel too weak I'll look the way I looked when I died — with my chest half open and my eyes bleeding. My blood is green. I will probably see everyone I love die. Wild, right?”

“Oh yeah! I've got my own experience with dying. It sucks, man. It's funny for the fastest man alive to not have been able to outrun death lmao. Speedsters also age really weirdly. I'm a married adult with two children but I look like I'm 18. But then later I look like I'm 30. And then 20. And then 40. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll look into the mirror and won't recognize who I see haha”

“Talking about body horror! I don't know if I'm the real me. I've created so many mes (the scout thingies) that I can't tell if I'm the original one or not. Maybe I died, and I'm the only thing that remains of me, and I would never be able to tell. I could be being tortured right at this moment. I could be trapped in the speedforce. And no one would ever know because I'm right here, but if I'm not me then they'd live with an imposter by their side”

“Ahh, body horror. My old friend”

(they're all on the verge of a panic attack)

Danny, glowing with a green light at 3am in the kitchen: Hey what the fuck are you doing here

Green Lantern, also glowing with a green light: I live here you fuck

Danny: Shit this isn't my house??

#danny phantom #dc #dc comics #justice league #batfam #batman #the flash #flashfam #green lantern #“danny get off the ceiling. don't you hiss at me. do u think i've never seen someone open themselves up before. get back here”#danny still jumpscares them a lot #“hi what's up- jeSUS FUCK WHERE DID YOU COMR FROM”#he can never jumpscare the speedsters because they always see him coming #everything's so slow for them they'd be able to tell he's there because they see him slowly appeat #appear*#Danny's mad about it >:(#also he can never get a reaction from batman?? that guy's poker face is amazing #dc x dp #dc x dp crossover #dp x dc #dick grayson #wally west #bart allen #danny fenton #guess which green lantern it is. g u e s s #(i have no clue either)#ghost king danny #ghost king danny is so cool. we need more of him #SOME of you guys always make either danny or some of the dc characters so ooc #avis talks

2K notes · View notes

rui-drawsbox · 3 months

Text

Ruri x Baxter posting! Many stuff after the cut cuz I'm gonna say random facts about Ruri

They are SO in love with each other honestly what's wrong with them

Also in game moments where i think Baxter started to/ fell harder for the MC, i added a badump everytime cuz i thought it was funny

Gonna reblog this one with the zoom ins later

Random Ruri facts!

If IF Derek confessed between steps 2 and 3 she totally 100% no doubt wouldve fell for him at the moment, but he didn't so rip🥺

The only thing she wanted as a teen was someone that showed her some interest (she had Derek! But was always oblivious bc she thought it was in a friend way)

↑also main reason of why the mysterious soiree boy stuck on her head so long, the leg compliment was so random and unprompted that she made a whole novel inside her head the rest of the evening lmao

Not very smart, academically sucks, passed the last high school years cheating (and with some of Cove's help)

Mainly cheating bc on her reinforcement classes after school she had this "friend group" of older and problematic kids that adopted her like the pet of the gang (she was like 15 and the others like 18-19)

Never really got her into big problems but she became disturbingly skilled with knifes and at throwing things bigger than her head

If the mean not-grandparents made Cove cry when they were a little older than ten she wouldve throw a rock at their window

A hopeless romantic, also a hopeless idiot

You know how we can tell Cove that we found an animal skull on the beach once in Ghost? Well she kept it and named it Ramón (because I have an animal skull in my room I found on the beach and I named it Ramón)

Found a new confidence after she had to move out with Cove, things about being a responsable adult and such

Main love language is physical touch! Second is quality time

Romantic inclination? Whatever that likes her back tbh (became pretty picky after step 3 but it's bc she never got over Baxter). Sexual inclination? Her beloved partner

A night owl that tried to keep up with an early bird (Cove), that's why she has more droppy eyes and eyebags in step4, she's always at her 70%

Cove relatioship was nervous fond at steps 1-2 and relaxed fond at steps 3 and 4 (they're family!). And Baxter was nervous crush at step 3 and direct love in step 4

Scared of driving cars so she has moto in step4! Baxter think is hot (Trust me, he told me)

#rui draw smth #our life: beginnings & always #our life mc #our life #olba mc #olba #baxter ward #our life baxter #olba baxter #derek suarez #cove holden

249 notes · View notes

ncteez · 2 years

Text

Sacrilege (m.l)

the one where no gods exist when you’re alone with Mark Lee.

ao3 | m.list | minors dni! | if you read it, reblog it.

wordcount― 5.3k

pairing― mark lee x fem reader

content― top/dom mark lee, characters are in their twenties, sub/bratty reader,

warnings― DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE RELIGIOUS OR CAN NOT HANDLE CNC. i am not responsible for your experience with reading on tumblr. I am not holding this fic in front of your eyes and forcing you to read it. I have tagged everything appropriately and suggest you scroll past this fic to save yourself from triggers or adverse reactions. This fic contains extreme disrespect to christianity and catholicism, desecration of religious symbols, and mild cnc.

note― Probably not the greatest smut ever to be written considering i did almost 0 research on these religions, but it's dirty and disgusting. if the thought of a lacquered wooden cross being penetrated into someone sounds painful, that's ok. It probably is but this is fiction and she’s gonna love every second of it, okay? Okay. Huge, fat, wet, squelching love to @domjaehyun for reading this for me and fixing all of my errors.

smut tags under cut::

smut tags― mild cnc (reader is unsure about the cross thing but mark is relentless), for the record, the cross is not raw wood and has a smooth finish, reader is first attempting to seduce the priest through confession lmao, she’s also just a massive whore just like me :), Mark is the priest’s son, jerking off, penetration using a wooden cross, unprotected sex, spitting, choking on and/or sucking off a cross, degradation, and name-calling, he’s a godfearing man but also he likes sexual perversions, humiliation, explicitly getting fucked in a church, kind of fingering?

Mark wonders why you’re always making confessions, sometimes multiple times a week regardless of if his father is prepared or available to listen.

Once a week his father listens to confessions from the other churchgoers, even Mark himself is expected to do this. Often he will make up sins that he has committed just to seem as though he had been learning from some sort of mistake. Never would Mark actually tell his father through a confession booth what he has done or is willing to do. He’s an adult, he can confess whatever he wants. You, on the other hand, you’re working his father to the bone in terms of forgiveness.

Mark’s interest piques at the very idea of a young woman, around his age, needing to confess so much. Did she hurt someone? Does she hurt herself? Did she kill someone or maybe she is caught up in a situation that makes her commit atrocities? He can’t even imagine what one person could be doing to elicit such a need to be cleansed and saved time and time again.

Mark makes his way to the back of the church to complete his duties and, of course, he isn’t surprised to see you enter the confession booth for the second time this week. Hushed whispers were echoing through the room and only then did he realize that you almost always confessed when the church is empty. You must not be unaware of his presence at all, unaware that he is the son of the priest that you spill your sins to, and unaware that he can absolutely hear you when he walks closer.

He isn’t entirely sure why he is listening. The walls of this church echo any and every sound, and to be fair, the only reason his interest is piqued is that his father was silent from the moment you’d entered the booth. All he heard was you. You didn’t seem to start the confession off in a proper manner, so yeah, maybe it caught him off guard.

His ears make attempts to adjust to the words coming from the booth, but the words were coming out in a tone that he had never used himself when seeking salvation. Minutes passed and he still hadn't heard his father speak a word. It was just you, addressing dreams, vision, wants, and needs.

You weren’t confessing, you were actively sinning in the presence of god, attempting to seduce his father.

“I woke up shaking, Father. What should I do?”

Mark notes how quiet his father is still, despite you asking him what to do about the dream. His face sours when you continue to speak, this time in a slightly louder tone.

“Aren’t you going to say anything? I just can’t help myself sometimes, I–”

It’s not that it was intentional, really, it wasn't. If anything at all, Mark is incredibly disgusted by your attempts to dirty talk during a confession. Disgusted that you’d do such a thing, and…maybe intrigued by what you may have said that he wasn’t quite able to catch before. He quietly moves to the other side of the booth, the side where you seem to be spouting off all sorts of things, and he raises his head to listen a bit more.

“You were big, you know? I can’t get thoughts of you out of my head. Have you ever touched a woman, Father?”

Mark leans in further, his body reacting more than his disgust. Unfortunately, the hard-on growing in his pants ceases the moment his father cut you off.

“Enough.” The priest says in a stoic and harsh tone.

Not another word was spoken and Mark does his best to back away quickly and quietly as you exit the booth. Of course, he’s acting as though he is sweeping a corner when he turns to look at you. Eye contact is made and he can feel an intense rush of heat spread across his cheeks.

His father stays inside of the booth for a long, drawn out, three or so minutes before exiting and all Mark can think about is if you walked out of the church soaked and warm between your legs. It’s not even that Mark is into sinning. He isn’t. His entire life was built around this church, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s a man. He has needs just like you do, apparently.

Never would he get what he needs from a woman as dirty as yourself, though, it doesn’t stop him from thinking about it and how your voice sounded when you were actively trying to fuck his dad.

“You’re disgusting.” Mark narrows his eyes at you when you pass by, spitting the words at you as if you were a piece of trash on the sidewalk.

“Excuse me?” You ask, stopping in your tracks and looking back at him just as harshly.

“You think I can’t hear the way you speak to my dad during your confessions?” He takes a step forward as he whisper shouts at you. “You really think he’s just going to take you up on the offer?”

Narrowing your own eyes, you step closer to Mark to stop anyone else from hearing his little tantrum. “Wanna tell me why he always listens to my confessions then?” You question, smirking before walking away as if nothing had even happened.

Mark watches as you leave, upset that he hadn’t gotten a rise out of you at all, and instead was offered a genuine question that sits in his mind. Why does his father allow you to make a confession after confession if all it is, is an attempt to seduce him? You weren’t even ashamed of it, it seems, and it pisses him off to no end.

Rushing after you, he is quick to grab at your sweater and pull you back.

“You might as well not even wear clothes at this point with the way you act.” He barks, dragging you off down the hall and into a side room that should remain empty until everyone leaves the church. He intends to put a stop to this, because he’s heard several more of your confessions by his own will and learns that, apparently, your only sin is being a harlot.

“You have no place here.” He adds as he closes the door behind the two of you.

“Your father says otherwise.” You laugh, walking across the room with a shrug. It’s not the first time you’ve been reprimanded in a church, and it probably won’t be the last. “What? You don’t find yourself thinking of dirty things from time to time?”

Mark narrows his eyes even more at you.

“Of course I do, but not this often, and not directly after a service.”

You watch him walk towards you, with his perfectly tucked shirt and his darkened and angry eyes. Being alone with him doesn’t help his argument, because, in all fairness, he’s just as hot, if not hotter than your priest.

“What about you then?” You ask, leaning against one of the shelves in the room, running your hand up your legs, and hiking your dress up a couple of inches. “Father won’t admit to having ever touched a woman. What about you?”

Mark grimaces, wrinkling his nose as he watches you.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He questions, stomping over to you and pushing your dress back down below your knees.

“Oh!” You laugh, ticking your tongue at him and tilting your head. “You cursed. Aren’t you going to ask for forgiveness?”

He stares at you for a few seconds, being face to face with a woman that seems so desperate for any touch has his heart racing. He’s trying to call you out, not turn you on.

“Can’t you act decent? I barely know you and you’re flaunting yourself at me.” Mark bellowed, stepping back from you and examining the way your body is relaxed. You seem to be enjoying this.

“You’re the one who pulled me in here. Was it really to argue with me, or were you trying to get to me before Father does?”

Thinking for a moment, Mark realizes he’s the reason this is happening. He could have just let you leave like everyone else, after all, it would be the first day you weren’t heading for the confession booth. Here he is though, and there you are.

“He would never.” Mark laughs, mocking your attempts to seduce his father.

“What about you though?” You shoot back instantaneously, watching the way his words get caught in his throat.

He’s a weak man, truly, because the very thought of what’s under your dress, the very idea that you’re so willing, fogs his brain to the point of almost malfunctioning. It would be so fucking easy if he wanted to. No one would even know.

Before you even knew it, you could feel the air in the room change as he storms closer to you, he aggressively pulls your dress up to your waist and instantly he’s shoving his hand straight between your legs. A small yelp leaves your throat followed by a laugh.

“I knew it.” You laugh bumping your head a bit against the shelf at the force of his movements. You can feel the way his palm cups your core and presses harshly against it. “I knew you were just as dirty as me.”

“Stop,” Mark demands, bringing his other hand to cover your mouth. “Stop talking.” He continues, already pulling his hand from your core and second-guessing himself. “If we are going to do this, I need you to shut up.”

You nod with a smile against his palm, breathing in when he pulls it back and trusts your ability to stay quiet. He’s staring directly into your eyes as if it’s a threat that he will stop, a promise that he will get his father to blacklist you from the church and never allow such a sinner to step foot inside again.

Staying true to your word, you remain quiet as he trails his eyes down. He looks at you as if you’re some sort of monster, and for him at this moment, you definitely could be.

Lowering himself to the floor, he positions himself to look at your clothed core, seeing the small wet stain seeping through the fabric.

“Already?” He laughs, eyes darting up to your face.

You nod, wiggling your hips at him in an attempt to entice his lips to attach there. But he doesn’t. He just stands back to his feet and backs away.

“I bet if I left you here, you’d chase after me.” He mocks. “I bet you think I’m going to give you my cock, don’t you?”

Shyly, you smile with a nod. Isn’t that what’s going to happen? Isn’t that what this is all about?

“Wow, you really are stupid.” He laughs quietly, shaking his head at you as he reaches behind a podium and pulls out a large, lacquered wooden cross.

Great, you think. He’s definitely about to start preaching to you. Maybe he will even attempt to perform an exorcism to expel the horny demons out of you.

“Please.” You roll your eyes, standing yourself up straight from against the shelf and patting your dress back down into position. “I don’t need you to try and bring me to salvation.” You’re already preparing to walk out without looking twice at him, but he laughs right back at you.

“You think you know everything.” He argues, walking towards the door and locking it. He stands in front of it now, crossing his arms and staring at you.

“What’s the cross for then?” You ask, a little nervous now.

“Did I not just imply that I wouldn’t use my cock on you?” He questions, twitching in his pants at the way you stand before him, much smaller in energy now.

Oh. Oh.

“You’re going to–” You swallow hard, realizing that the sins being committed aren’t just from you. They’re also not ignored by just you. This room doesn’t even feel like part of a church now as he holds the cross with more reason than praying.

“I am.” He assures you. “Do you want that?”

For some reason, despite genuinely worrying for your soul at the very idea, you nod quickly as the temperature of your body rises to dangerous levels.

“Get on the desk then.”

You follow suit, shamefully walking to the desk and propping yourself onto it.

“Take off your clothes.” He demands again, watching you intently as he stays in place.

You watch him back as you begin to slip your dress from your shoulders and lift your ass so that you can push it down and onto the floor.

“You’re acting so shy now. What’s up with that?” He mocks, walking towards you as you attempt to tug at your panties. “Keep those on. No one wants to see that.” He says, chuckling at the way you didn’t even have the decency to wear a bra to service. Lucky for him, your breasts are enough to drive him past the point of return.

You stay quiet, doing as he’s told and watching the way he examines you. He must feel so in control right now, and you’re happy to let him, but you can see him falling apart behind his eyes. His cock is incredibly obvious beneath his nice dress pants, but you wouldn’t dare reach out to touch him, not yet at least.

“Suck it.” He says, dragging the cross against your nipples and onto your chin.

You almost shake your head at him. Wouldn’t such a hard material such as wood hurt? Will it bruise your throat? Doesn’t seem to be a worry of his in all honesty, because he’s intent on pressing it against your lips.

Not quite opening your mouth, you look at him with wide eyes.

“No?” He smiles, hooking your mouth and prying it mouth open.

You relent this time, feeling the cold and smooth tip of the cross enter past your lips. It’s not that you are against doing it, you just. . . haven’t done it before. You’re not exactly sure of how to respect a holy relic such as this one when you’re expected to choke on it.

“That’s it.” Mark coos, pressing the cross further into your mouth. “Just like that.”

You close your eyes at his voice, licking the smoothed object with an intensity you didn’t know you had. After all, it’s been so long since you’ve been intimate with a person, hence the constant wet dreams about your priest. This, is somehow, incredibly hot to you. To have his son fucking your mouth, regardless of what object he’s using to do it.

Mark continues to press the cross further and further into your mouth, watching the way you swallow around it and relax your throat as it slides more and more down your throat. He wonders what it would feel like if it were his cock, because you’re taking it so well. You must have done this before, with countless other men, he thinks. How lucky for them to have someone so desperately wanting to be gagged.

“You’re filthy for doing this, you know that?” He insults, tipping the cross just a bit so that its hardened wood hits your throat the right way to elicit a gag out of you.

You cough around it, pushing his hand back so that he can pull the object from your mouth. The tears are prickling at the corners of your eyes as you look up at him, wondering if he’s going to pry your mouth open again but he doesn’t.

He tilts his head to look at your panties, seeing that the spot had gotten bigger.

“I can’t believe you actually like this–” He laughs, feeling his cock begin to hurt for some sort of friction. “Again?” He asks, and when you open your mouth again, he almost moans.

You take it into your mouth without so much as a second thought this time, allowing him to slide the cross back and forth against your tongue and into your throat. You willingly swallow around the harsh edges, tears falling all the while.

You’re gagging so softly around it, he’s almost jealous at this moment over how you wanted his dad before you wanted him. Surely no one would do this for you, right? Just Mark, Right?

When he pulls it out this time, your saliva coats the cross in a way that arouses him intensely. Intensely, he stares at your lips, slack and waiting for him to continue his abuse but he opts not to. Instead, he grabs your hand and places it against his cock.

Feeling a little shocked that he’s actually letting you touch him, you take the opportunity and run with it. You press your palm against his hardened cock without any amount of shame, and you watch as he hangs his head for a moment.

“Bet you wanted to fuck my mouth.” You croak out, your voice sounding just as bruised at your throat.

His head shoots up in response to that and he grabs your face harshly, bucking against your hand at the same time. “Stop talking.” He seethes, releasing your face and inserting his fingers into your mouth instead. “Stick your tongue out.”

You do as he says, feeling his heavy cock twitching against your palm.

Mark seems like an expert at this, you aren’t sure, but when he presses your tongue down with his fingers to open your throat up, he spits into your mouth so easily that you have no choice but to swallow it.

You moan at that, grabbing his cock this time as your tongue fights against his fingers that are holding it down. Mark’s hips stutter at your grip and loses almost all composure when he dips down and moves his arms to either side of you, essentially pinning you there and pressing between your legs.

“You want me to fuck you so bad, I can see it.” He croaks, not even allowing you to offer him a nod before he’s got his lips attached to yours and licking into your mouth. It feels impossibly better than the cross pressing against the back of your throat but you swallow his kiss just as easily.

His hips continue to grind against your hand as he continues to assault your tongue with his own, groaning into it more and more before he’s nearly a panting mess before you. He pulls back from the kiss only for a moment to stare at you, eye contact more fierce than it was before.

“Do you want to fuck me?” You manage to slip out before he can silence you again, and his eyes widen in shock.

More than anything, that’s what he wants to do to you. He wants to shut you up in as many ways possible right now, and he definitely wants to fuck you in as many ways as possible. But he can’t, and he won't.

“Hah– I bet you’d love that.” He laughs, reaching a hand from between the two of you to press his pants down enough to let his cock spring free. You can’t even get a good look at it, because he’s instantly grabbing himself and fucking his fist before looking back up at you. “Go on, look.” He says, leaning up so that you can watch him jerk himself off in full view now. “You’d probably beg if I asked you to.”

“Please?” You instantly let out, eyes staring at the angry head of his cock leaking with precum.

“I didn’t say to actually beg–” He laughs, halting his hand and instead, thrusting his hips into the tightly formed hole he’s created. “I’m not going to fuck you.” He laughs again, picking the cross back up and looking at you with a smirk.

Of course. The cross. Well, at least you’re going to be fucked with something right? You eye the piece of wood and then go back to watching him. You’re not sure what it is about this situation but it feels like you’re body is on fire. Maybe it’s because hell is right beneath you, just a floorboard away from what the two of you have gotten yourselves into behind this locked door.

“Oh?” He halts his hips and licks his lips. “You actually want me to fuck you with this?”

You nod frantically, spreading your legs in front of him and showing off how large the spot on your panties has grown.

Watching as his eyes practically burn a hole through your pussy, he releases his cock and looks at you seriously this time.

“You are aware of what we are about to do, right?” He laughs nervously, glancing at the cross. “Like, if you ever tell my dad about this, I will be disowned.”

You shrug, looking back at him. “Who said I was going to tell him?”

“Well, since you’re so inclined to confess every fucking day–”

“Mark, you’ve already fucked my throat with it.” You deadpan, hooking your legs around him to pull him close enough to feel his cock hit your wet panties. “You’re the dirtiest one here.”

He laughs at you for that. Because yeah, maybe he is. Maybe he’s the one who shouldn’t be in church, and maybe he’s the one who should have been confessing this whole time. Never in his life has he ever done this, or so much as imagined doing it, but. . . it’s so perverse. So, wrong. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what’s attractive about it.

“You don’t have to use the cross, you know.” You urge him in an attempt to use his cock, because it’s already sitting so heavy against you. It’s kind of all you can think about.

“No.” He barks out, pulling his hips back and pressing the cross against you instead. “I’m taking these off of you now.” He gets right back into it without a second thought. He doesn’t care what he’s doing or what the repercussions of doing this will be. It’s not like he wasn’t going to hell before anything, not based on the fantasies he’s had anyway.

Mark hooks his fingers into your panties and pulls them down your legs harshly, to the point that they’re stretching so far that it feels like they could cut through your skin. He backs away for a moment upon seeing you grimace at that, allowing you to slip them down your legs before positioning himself back between them.

“Sinful.” He says, looking at your pussy and the way it clenches around absolutely nothing. He sees the slick seeping out of you already, and it’s not only pathetic but so fucking desperate of you.

Before the cross, he experimentally traces his fingers along your folds until he gets to your entrance, and without hesitation, he slips one of them in. The grip of your walls alone could probably send him over the edge if he were to make a last-minute change and shove his cock into you, but he holds back. Instead, he traces the cross against you in the same way he did with his fingers, slowly inserting it alongside his digit.

Pulling back, Mark watches your face as the cross opens you up, probably dragging against your walls most uncomfortably as a reminder of the ultimate sin you’re committing with him right now.

When your face doesn’t contort into that of pain, he pulls his finger out of you and places his hand back on his cock. Still staring at your face, he fucks the cross in and out of you. He does this until you finally moan.

Upon that little whimper of a moan, Mark is sent into a different headspace. One that quickens his pace with the object inside of you. He presses it in and then pulls it all the way out just to see your pussy beg for more.

“So sinful–” He coos this time, trying to ignore the shiver that shoots through his body at the way you yearn for it.

Fucking it back into you, he works his hand into the right rhythm and continuously thrusts the object in and out of you with a gentle, yet rough pace. Now, he makes a point to fuck his own fist at that same pace. Thrusting forward as the cross is buried deeper and deeper inside of you. If he thinks hard enough, it’s almost like he’s the one fucking you.

He keeps this up for a few minutes, up until your legs are shaking around him and you begin to reach out with your hands. If it weren’t for the fact that he’s incredibly fucking horny right now, he’s probably be rushing for the holy water to save you from whatever demon is possessing you. But he knows that this is no demon, this is all his own doing. He’s loving it. Every single bit of this situation is being burned into his memory, and when your legs shake, it only urges him to fuck the object into you harder.

You whimper out strings of nonsense, almost begging for a release from this grasp he is holding over you both physically and mentally, but he doesn’t relent. Your pussy is being pounded by an object that should have you crying in fear, but instead, you’re so close to release you can only beg for more, more, fucking more. And god, he keeps giving it to you.

In an attempt to open your eyes, you feel dizzy with lust. Your hips buck up against the object with intent, and you can’t stop watching him.

“Fuck–” Mark stutters, watching you fuck yourself against the holy relic. It allows him to rest his arm as he continues to fuck into his other hand, still at the same pace as your hips.

He’s watching and intensely imagining that it’s you on him, and he can’t stop thinking about how fucking warm you must be, how tight, how sinfully delicious your pussy must be for you to be acting like this for him. And then he loses it, and on the verge of his orgasm, he slips the cross out of you and lets it fall to the floor.

You can barely understand what’s happening until you feel something bigger slipping into you. When you feel his cock prying you open, pumping in and out of you at a frantic speed, you cling onto him with a bruising grip.

Mark practically falls over you, forcing you to fall back against the desk as he relentlessly slides his cock in and out of you. His breath is heavy against your neck as he loses himself, and all you can do is thank the same god you just disrespected for this cock that’s abusing your hole in all of the right ways.

“I can’t–” He groans out against your ear, slowing his pace so that he can gain a rhythm back and fuck into you in hard, long thrusts. “You’re so fucking dirty.” He insults, pushing you up the desk with each thrust. “I can’t resist.” He insults himself this time.

You can barely make a sound from the number of sensations you’d been feeling for the past however long. You want nothing more than for him to rub your clit, or for him to let you rub your clit. And as if your prayers were answered, he does just that.

You can feel him squeeze his hand between your bodies just to harshly press into your clit in a way that provides more pain than pleasure, but you’ll take whatever you can get while he uses you in the way you practically asked him to.

Your orgasm hits you almost instantly, pussy sucking in his cock each time he goes to thrust, and the sounds coming from your throat could be considered demonic by some, but he swallows them up with ease when he notices your climax.

Mark licks into your mouth, soothing you with dirty words when he pulls back to breathe.

“You should see yourself–” He pants out, sticking his tongue out to lick against your lip. “Coming on my cock like this?” He says again through a moan. “You’re beautiful.” He adds like a period at the end of a sentence.

That alone makes you feel…different, in fact, it prolongs your orgasm far past sensitivity when he continues to thrust into you. You can’t tell if he said that because he’s close, or if it’s because he meant it. Quite frankly, you could give less of a fuck if he meant it.

Mark stutters his hips when you lift your head just slightly, gripping his hair and skewing his head to the side so that you can whisper into his ear.

“Are you going to come inside of me?” You whisper with a shaking voice, “are you going to love it as much as I will?”

His eyes squeeze shut as he aggressively turns his head and, once again, pries your mouth open with his tongue. A bruising kiss follows as he fucks his last few thrusts into you, doing just as you implied he should.

He pumps his cum into you relentlessly, thankful that it’s not all over his pants, thankful that you came around him instead of that forgotten cross on the floor. He wants nothing more than to remind you time and time again who got to you first. It was him, not his father.

You smile at him when he pulls back out of breath, examining his pants before stuffing his sensitive cock back into them and reaching down for the cross.

“If you ever fucking tell my dad about this–” He seethes, narrowing his eyes at you much as he had done before.

“Go on.” You say, voice shaking as you try to grasp back onto reality from whatever world his cock had sent you into.

Mark is at a loss for words, because, what could he possibly do about it if you were to tell? He looks at you, still spread out against the desk, dress crumpled on the floor, his cum seeping out of you in a messy show of how much of an absolute whore you must be.

“Just, don’t tell him.” He finally says, averting his eyes from you and looking at the cross in his hand.

“Do you feel bad already?” You ask out, finally lifting to get off of the desk.

“Don’t you?”

You shake your head, struggling to stand as the seething pain of having a wooden cross stuck into you shoots through your body. “Not really.” You try to laugh, but you wince instead.

“Did I hurt you?” He finally asks, walking up to you with a soothing hand that hands your dress out to you.

You’re a little shocked by his kindness.

“Yeah, a little.” You laugh it off though because, at the moment, it felt good. You wouldn’t have wanted any other way despite how blasphemous the act was.

“Oh.” Mark seems sorrowful in his tone, but his gaze doesn't leave you. “I- um, I don’t know how to make it like, not hurt?” He scratches the back of his head.

In your attempt to put your dress back on, you do note that the pain inside of you isn’t unfamiliar. You’d been fucked hard before, but that was a long time ago. You missed this feeling, realizing that it was exactly what you think you needed.

“It’ll pass.” You assure him, taking a deep breath and trying to stumble your way to the door. “I guess I’ll see you next Sunday?”

Mark dips his head with a small nod, feeling guilty for what he’s done. Not because of the cross, not because of the sin, but because he’s unsure of how to get out of this happening again.

#mark smut #[cnc]#[religion]#mark lee smut #nct smut #[tw]

1K notes · View notes

bonebabbles · 3 months

Note

woah

it felt good to see Quiet Rain destroying Clear Sky again, but that scene looked different in the translation i read first

she just goes "apparently i've brought you up shittily if you can't tell right from wrong without Stoneteller around" in addition to the rest, and on the one hand that's a good fucking point but on the other hand lmao, women are to blame here even when it's out of Erins' control

It's always fun to hear from people who read a different translation, it's honestly fascinating how small changes can change the context of an entire conversation

In the English version, she doesn't actually say a lot. 80% of this conversation is just Clear Sky whining (they use the words groan and pitiful wail and they compare him to a kit a lot. I can't believe people find this at all sympathetic, this is an adult with children). Quiet Rain just exists to yell at him in a way that's framed as "cruel" and "unfair" even though she's completely right.

This is because they are trying to "redeem" (more like exonerate tbh) Clear Sky. Everything that is being written here is not meant to be a further condemnation of how fucking evil he is, or how childish, or selfish, or how he's a bad leader who shouldn't have power. It's about how sad and unfair it is that he suffers any consequence at all when he already ""feels so bad :("" about it.

So they CAN'T even make the good point you described, because in the original English, you're supposed to accept what Clear Sky says about "i didn't have a priest to tell me what to do so I murdered women in my confusion." They downplay his brutality because he was "scared and lost," and now with the invention of StarClan, Good But Scared boys like Clear Sky don't have to be so afraid anymore.

Without God we're all a bunch of savages, basically. Theme that carries throughout the series.

Digressing, still. Seems there's no translation that fixes A Forest Divided's dumbass conclusion that actually Clear Sky's mom is responsible for why he's so sucks.

#dotc hate #bones reads dotc #warrior cats analysis

26 notes · View notes

clovermunson · 11 months

Note

here’s a tamer one:

gimme all your unpopular stranger things opinions, pretty please!!

sav, bestie you know i love being controversial (sometimes) and i know that some of these may get me tumblr-cancelled or cause a fandom riot because most of them will be about billy (and by extension, max), but that’s not my problem.

billy and max genuinely cared about each other. i know, some of you are gonna look at that and say “how the fuck is that true??” but trust me. it is. both of them were forced into a shitty situation, and often took things out on each other because they were both misguided and trying to navigate things on their own. neil and susan obviously favored max, often neglecting billy and making him grow up on his own and way too fast. he was handling full-fledged adult responsibilities by the time he was sixteen, and he shouldn’t have been. now while i think susan may have tried to evenly delegate her attention to both kids, neil completely prohibited that under some false pretense such as “billy needs to grow up” or “he doesn’t need a mother anymore”. any time max screwed up, billy was left to deal with it instead of neil and susan handling it themselves, like parents should, not older siblings (though i believe had it not been for neil, susan would’ve taken care of max herself— i have some very complicated opinions on susan, but that’s another story). every time billy acted out in violence, it was a defense and survival mechanism for him; and he probably did it quite often to protect max because he cared for her, and for the fact that if he didn’t, he’d face neil’s wrath for the nth time (i.e.: the fight at byers’ home with steve— which, in billy’s defense, was totally justified from his point of view). anyway, max and billy cared about each other in their own weird little way.

more on the topic of billy, he wasn’t racist and he didn’t target or dislike lucas simply because he was black. that’s just a bullshit reason that 98% of the fandom uses to justify why they hate billy because they couldn’t read context clues and use some critical thinking skills. he disliked lucas because he witnessed lucas and max arguing in the school parking lot, and lucas was upsetting max— and billy knew that it would be his ass if neil found out about it.

i think the whole “girlboss” angle they’re trying to do with nancy kinda sucks and it’s ruining her character. she was definitely a stronger character in season 2 than any other season.

the series started with will, and it should end with will. i said what i said.

max stabbing billy with a needle and syringe with no idea what was in it is not the girlboss moment y’all think it is. what was in that syringe could’ve killed him for all anyone knew.

the sauna scene was genuinely billy begging for max to help him because he didn’t know what was going on, until it wasn’t, and max knew that was billy and not the mindflayer.

speaking of the whole mindflayer thing, y’all can’t tell me that max didn’t genuinely care about billy when she said “i really hope it’s not you” in reference to the party suspecting that billy was the host.

oh and in season two when billy’s “threatening” to run over the boys?? y’all are delusional for thinking he really would lmao he’s an older brother and older brothers mess with their sisters like that. and he’s a seventeen year old with a cool, fast car. there’s no way he was gonna willingly get himself a vehicular homicide charge in a bumfuck town in indiana. y’all are dumb as shit for thinking he would. and did y’all notice when max grabbed the wheel and made the car swerve to avoid hitting them? billy could’ve easily gone against her force and kept the car on course, but he didn’t.

stancy shippers are essentially romanticizing a toxic relationship between two people who very clearly want different things for themselves and could never actually work, from a logical and realistic viewpoint.

on that note, stancy should not happen in season five. or ever again for that matter. fight me about it.

karen wheeler’s actions in season three can’t be justified. i’m not even gonna argue on this one with anyone because y’all know what happened. sure she chose her family in the end, but she was really about to go hook up with a freshly-18 year old man while being in her 40s…absolutely not, ma’am. don’t even get me started on the other pool-lurking moms.

it’s game night, send one of these!

#these are so brave yet so controversial i think #especially that first one #that first one is gonna ruffle some feathers #may even cause some heebies to be jeebied (get it?)#maybe even the second one too #me? causing fandom discourse with my strong opinions? it’s more likely than you’d think.#fandom discourse #morgan’s mailbox📬#ask games #clovermunson’s game night #savvy🧸

42 notes · View notes

boxwinebaddie · 3 months

Note

wait omg.. ur fr not updating ur fanfics ever again?!? HEARTBREAKING... BUTT... does that possibly mean u can spoil everything (slowly ofc)

EXTREMELY LONG BUT IMPORTANT UPDATE:

so...i'm not going to say ~never~, my friend. i promised myself during my uncle nina self care era, that i would *justin bieber vc* never say never, because setting strict, set-in-stone regulations and rules for myself is why i am not writing anymore...which, yes, as much as i enjoy my fanfics/updating them, for the sake of both my physical and mental health, i think it is in my best interest to not update my fanfictions right now. i'll explain as much as i can down below.

so...this is going to be a very, very long post. i know that i had an anon on here that told me that they look forward to when i post long, indepth things, however, i am going to say that this isn't like a fun hc post or anything, this is just a lot of information...about my blog and my fanfictions, how i have been feeling and what i'm thinking about doing moving forward from this point. a lot of it is stuff that i've written about a lot ( stress, writing, etc. ) but i think it's important to read, mayhaps? just to keep you in the loop/informed on stuff.

long story short tho: i am not updating my fanfics rn, that's not to say i will not be writing/doing ncu stuff and it does...thank god...mean that i can now slowly spoil things...In A Controlled Manner.

to jog your re(memory), lmao, i was very unwell writing peppermint.

we know this...we don't love this.

what i did love was writing peppermint when i was but doing all that formatting, writing more in one update than some people write in entire fanfictions, forcing myself to be consistent...it was...at times very frightening how unwell i was. especially mentally. i just...i was not well equipped for the stress that came with having a moderately successful fanfic. being perceived at that level, with how severe my social anxiety is...it was not good for me. like it was fun because it was cool to see people so invested/get so much high praise for the things that i was writing but...idk. i am very introverted. ravenstan is me because i try to be really cool but i am a fake and a fraud lmaooo.

but yeah, too much upkeep and while 99.9% of the negativity around pep and myself was self inflicted...i will say...especially after 10, i did get some very...Intense...reactions to my fanfiction. like, very, very intense in a way that i was very offput by it and also worried about how the things i was writing were affecting your real lives. which, on top of how i was doing ( not well ) was not something i wanted to have constantly on my shoulders. please friends, remember, you are not responsible for how other people perceive your work, so long as you tag it accordingly, are authentic to yourself, and respectful to others. or so i believe, at least. idk. this is so long, i'm sorry.

speaking of peppermint tho...i am going to be so honest. i...do not think i'm gonna update it or keep writing it. i know that kind of sucks but the Peppermint Period of my life, i hope, will be over soon, lol. which i LOVE pep, but there is a lot of dark, negative energy associated with it, i tried to write it a million times and can't -- which, fun fact, the last stretch of peppermint is the stan self healing/self care arc ( which i love, i love u so bad pep!stan, my baby, my angel ) and the reason i could not write it...is because i was never in a positive enough headspace to write it.

like...i was not healed enough to write the healing arc. thats...oof.

i also just...don't feel super good about writing stuff about the boys in hs as an adult lady, like? they are 18 and all, but idk, it does not make me feel good things, its just not that relevant to me and the only reason that they were in hs in pep is because all of the relevant tiktok lore surrounding style was senior year hs stuff. but i really just prefer writing the boys in rm/in college/doing adult boy stuff. thats a lot more in my wheelhouse and i feel way better doing that tbh.

a final pep thing that ties into the last part of this ask is YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING YOU WANT ABOUT PEPPERMINT. i will spoil everything, like i'd prefer to do it in parts so if you want chapter 12 first i can tell you all about that. i don't have a ton of stuff written out in action...but i have...a fuck ton of dialogue. like nearly all of the dialogue for peppermint is written. ( if you want i can even take the dialogue and write it in sort of stage direction type formats with the actions to make it flow a little better -- i just can't write Chapters )

so yeah, ask me anything at all that you like about peppermint, but i can't spoil the entire fic in one ask...slow pace, please, haha.

okay, rm i do actually care a lot about. i also don't know if i in good concious can write chapter updates for it, but i can give you very detailed asks about it and give you what information i do have about it...also in small pieces. like someone asked me what happened to the ex-cd guitarist...and i can give you that information very soon.

i know it is kind of a bummer to not be able to get updates, but like, when i tell you i was seriously unwell...like it was really bad my real life was getting fucked up because of my online life which is whack.

but yeah! you can also ask me rm stuff! i kind of want to do it as sequencially as i can just so it flows a lot better like, idk, maybe start w/ ravesey hate stuff and move chapter to chapter, answering hc things in between? that feels right to me? but yeah!!! you can ask me what goes in the next chapter? if you want? or the next two/whatever is left of the hate...i don't have a ton of dialogue but i do have p much the whole situation blocked out? ish? lmao rip.

also!!! if i give you any scenario and you would like me to write in more detail or if you'd really like to see it in writing, you can totally leave me a request and if i feel up to it at some point, i will write it up. i also may just feel funky fresh and want to write it one day and randomly post it. lmao just be ready for anything tbh.

BUT YEAH!!! no i will totally give you rm spoilers and stuff!!! but again, i'm gonna try and not give you too much at once...v slow. in that way, ik its not the same as getting my full-fledged chapter updates, but it could hopefully still be exciting because you'd be waiting to get my content and it would come out quicker? which is still neat i think? my way to keep updating you without disappearing or like straining the shit out of my heart and brain.

okay, also, on ao3, as far as Big Writing goes...i'm not sure if i'm gonna post anything actually updatey on there again. it was just too stressful for me yall. i dont even want to make a seperate chapter post of explaination because i really don't want my fic to sit at the top of the tag for days and garner attention or like...wake to people waiting for pep or rm who think they're getting a new chapter, just to get told that i don't really feel safe updating them anymore. way too much attention which is what...drove me to this point tbh.

again, i like tumblr. i like the intimacy. i like that you guys can anonymously send me stuff and for the most part, i like that i can be sort of anonymous on here too...whilist you know, still being able to share stuff on here with you about my life. which...that's also a thing i was gonna mention at the end is, because i'm in education and kids are super nosy, if something happens, i will have to self destruct this blog and i'm sorry.

i am being so serious like if a kid finds my fanfiction tumblr, not only will it be embarrassing/unprofessional, like i am very worried that i could lose my job, slash not do the thing that i love the most in the world next to writing. :( i really do not want the thing i do in my free time to effect my outside life, which, again, is largely why i am doing this to protect myself lmao. like i am seriously considering like deleting anything that has to do with myself at all because of that. i tag my posts as accurately as i can to keep myself and all of you safe. please, please be mindful. please make good choices.

in vein of staying anonymousish ( tbh this is so much information that i ALMOST was going to post this as a voice message but i was not sure putting my human girl voice associated w/ this blog tbh ) i lowkey might nuke the twitter...i don't like it on there, lol. the cancel culture is frightening ( which is not to say don't cancel me if i'm being weird like please do that lol ) the people on there are really intense, i don't like the in fighting...i am on my tumblr because i feel safe here and i like all of you and i like answering your questions.

tbh, rp if you're reading this, the only reason i actually have the twitter is bc riley and i chat on there which, tbh, i might just bully her to use the dms on here or like licherally give you my personal phone number, lol. like we are internet married and talk constantly and i want to delete my twitter so bad it's not funny ESPECIALLY THE VIEW COUNTER LIKE THAT SHIT IS SO FUCKED UP I HATE IT.

kind of why i don't like ao3 either bc the hit count thing...really fucks w/ my mental health. the stress of being boxwinebaddie on there is also a lot so...okay...last segway...i do lowkey want to Actually write tkak...WHICH I KNOW NO ONE BUT ME CARES ABOUT BUT LOL THIS IS MY BLOG I DO WHAT I WANT BROTHER!!! its just funny bc this always happens where i can't write a fanfic i'm writing and then get excited abt some weird concept i have and start writing it and then stop again. so if i am writing tkak, please know it might not finish and i might just talk about it in ask memes.

orrrr write it in my google docs and link you or post screenshots. tbh i am very glad to be away from the ao3 layout like its so fucking ugly. the google docs are so much easier to read in my opinion.

for writing/future fanfics tho...as weird as it is, i don't think i'm gonna attach my name/user to my future fanfics. like you guys can know about them on here as long as we are chill about it. i just get too much anxiety about my association with my account and it getting too hectic again. so if i post tkak, i will probably do it on a different ao3 account ( you guys will know ofc ) and if i post one shot type stuff...i might do it also on a burner account or anonymously.

i actually ALMOST posted remember anonymously because of how stressed i was about it being negatively perceived/it being weird or people being mad at me for not updating pep. like i am very stoked you guys liked it but i seriously almost did not attach it to my name.

so if you see stuff that looks like its me floating around the style tag or in the other south park tags...its probably me. idk drop me a weird code word thats not too obvious and i'll send you one back, haha. i'm sorry i know this is complicated i just...i need to distance myself from this like, when i tell you i needed therapy for this...a mess.

but yeah! i hope that all makes sense! by all means ask me about pep ( literally anything abt pep but try to start small and build up ) and rm within reason and i will get back to you! it is extremely freeing for me to be able to talk about stuff because it sucked so bad to sit on all this info and just not be able to talk about it? like AAAA??? like thats why i was forcing myself to post stuff bc i wanted to tell yall stuff. and i would rather post you well thought out ask memes and dialogue that i feel happy abt then rush out terrible updates and grow to resent my fanfics like...no thank you.

i honestly feel like i have really fun ideas and am ( pretty ) good at coming up with complex lore/interesting hcs and shit, but i'm just not good at waiting, not good at keeping secrets and not good at being consistent...this is what i feel happiest doing, ig. hopefully this is rockin and rollin with you. i'm sorry this was a lot.

closing note is...i love you all very much. thank you so much to all of your for supporting as my identity as a writer has adapted, supporting my multiple works/promoting my personal health, advocating for me, being kind...i could not ask for better readers. again, i realize this is not the most fun information, but i have to take care of myself and this is the only way i know how. while also doing the thing i love, which is talking about my fanfics/writing/sharing my stories with all of you.

you are welcome to click off if you want, but if you are willing to ride the ride my friends, i promise to keep it cute on here. <3

thank you for everything, my darlings, and from whatever hurts or harms you, past, present and future

i hope you heal :),

uncle nina

p.s. if possible, if we could not distribute this post or rb it or anything like that i'd appreciate it. you can message me or write to me in the comments but i would like to maintain the liberty of deleting this post or editing it as i need to in case something happens. tysm.

#ncu update #nina speaks #idk that the tag is i actually think i might make an elaborate tag system so u guys/other people can read my blog #and find specific info abt parts of my fics or chars and stuff #but yeeeeeah i don't want to write right now i do not feel good i do not fuck w the energy i felt after i wrote pep for a while #like i already get sometimes overwhelmed on this blog i dont want to go back on ao3 which is already slow and seriously stressful #you can ask for spoilers tho! please do it in small sections! i am just one person and my fics are very lore intensive #i spend a lot of time on my asks i cannot do too much at once unfortunately #if i post stuff on ao3 again i would rather it not be attached to me ik thats kind of lame but it was mega stressful yall #it also makes it so if people enjoy my work it has nothing to do w bwb and this blog and i can start fresh #if u drop me a code tho i will get back to u haha just if u think its me out there please do not start shouting my name looool #hope this makes sense and hope you heal #sorry this was so much i needed to get this off my chest #you can also ask me questions abt this post it was really ocnfusing i tried to say as much as i can #but i am very tired...which is also why i cant really update bc i am working often and very very tired lmao #just be paitent w me if you can and you always are so i'm not worried ily so much thank u thank u thank u #none of this is spelled right ill fix it later...v tired rip

12 notes · View notes