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goloyieng · 3 years

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To Feed A Growing African Population, An Agricultural Food Production Revolution Has to Be Started by Those Who Wish Her Well

How do you feed a growing population? You invest in agricultural food production and business knowledge. Intellectually cultured men as Ndubuisi Ekekwe and Strive Masiyiwa are rare specimen these days, in that, not only do they have the expertise in computer technology and business, but they are becoming institutions in their own right. Ekekwe hold several academic degrees in computer science and business, and he is now a full pledged professor at Tekedia Institute in Boston, MA. His one time faculty member at Tekedia Institute became a founder of Flutterwave, a fintech now certified a unicorn with over $1 billion in revenue. With Agribusiness course at Tekedia Institute, cultured agribusiness faculty would equip their students with the knowledge they need to survive the rough terrain of food production and business systems. On Sasai app(application), Strive Masiyiwa had a food production competition running until August 8, where the innovator with the best idea was to bag $50, 000 cash prize. Masiyiwa has an app called Sasai and Facebook account where he is always ready to pass on his business knowledge and computer technological expertise; Sasai has also a section where you get to post videos on the latest cultural trends. Check his app out on google play. Coursera, Edx and Future Learn were all at one point offering free online courses from professors plying their trade from Darthmouth, Harvard, Stanford, MIT, Caltech and Cornell, but now they are charging exuberant fees as high as $300 per course; even though Tekedia Institute charges $60 per course; their ever growing programs are geared toward the emerging world market place, particularly the African developmental front. LinkedIn Blogger Mark -

Anthony Johnson, Nigerian and Ugandan twitter bloggers Onye Nkuzi and Charles Onyango - Obbo are tri-premier social go to people for how African should represent itself in the global political stage; Onyango is also an accomplished political commentator and writer - his articles have appeared in the East African, the Monitor, the Daily Nation, the Standard, and the Citizen. Just as people can learn alot from Nkuzi, Onyango and Anthony Johnson, companies come from all the world to co-learn from the knowledge wells of Ekekwe and his associates at Tekedia Institute. Ndubuisi Ekekwe is an accomplished computer guru, besides being a business expert; he has walked the talk and rough feathers with the giants in the field such as Bill Gates. He has the technical know how on what Africans should do to take their fair share in the software industry, socioeconomic politics and overall business; what direction should Africa take when Intel announced last week it is interested in building a $95 billion chip manufacturing facility in Europe. Ndubuisi Ekekwe is also a long time writer for the esteemed Harvard Business Review; he writes extensively on all the above mentioned issues on Facebook, Twitter and Linkedin platforms. Thirty nine countries are represented at Tekedia Institute, and 10, 000 Sierra Leoneans are students doing one thing or another with the Ekekwe and his associates; thanks to a sustained recruitment drive put forth by John Jah. Ndubuisi Ekekwe had this to say about the agribusiness diploma program: Practical farming. We have hours of videos from entrepreneurial farmers explaining how they do their work. Yes, from greenhouse farming to soilless farming to more, Tekedia Practice of Agribusiness is raising a new generation of farmers. Special thanks to our partners - TAFS, Soilless Farm Lab, African Farmers Stories, etc.

At the end of the 2-month coursework, learners spend 4 months on internship, mastering practical things in the field. People, I think we are changing knowledge acquisition at Tekedia Institute https://school.tekedia.com/course/practice/

On a Different Note

Yesterday, refugee teachers in Kakuma Refugee Camp of Northern Kenya staged a rally to stop the replacement of their teachers with Kenyan citizens. In South Sudan, Ethiopians, Eritreans and Somali employ their countrymen to work on their business premises instead of the native South Sudanese. Uhuru Kenyatta and Salva Kiir must find ways to employ the restless youth in all these poverty stricken countries of East Africa. From Uganda to Tanzania, all the way to Kenya and South Sudan; new innovative and perhaps better hustler leaders must find ways to take the lead; instead of hustling your way to the wealth accumulation as a lone ranger like VP William Samoei Ruto of Kenya, why can't there be more hustler leaders in the same class as the Nigerian Obi Cubana who took thousands of youth under his tutelage and while at it, equip them with skills and then settled them afterward? They say a great lion begets a great cubs. Deng Goch Thanjok says, "Refugee teachers demonstrating in Kakuma refugee camps

Their grievances are as follows:

1. Equal treatment from other Kenya national teachers

2. Reduction of workload they are overworked compare to national teachers

3. Increment of their incentives

4. To be respected by LWF official..."

From @Africa Facts Zone - MTN GlobalConnect, China Mobile, Facebook, Orange, Stc, Telecom Egypt, Vodafone and WIOCC are building the world's largest undersea cable in Africa. It's called 2Africa.

The $1billion, 37,000km data cable is being built to connect Africa, Europe and the Middle East.

By Sir Strive Masiyiwa

#Pause: How well do you hold onto money when you get it?

__Don't go broke trying to look rich...

When I was at college I had a scholarship, and was one of a small group of students who had exactly the same scholarship. It was not a lot of money, and it was the first time we all had to manage our own money.

It was always interesting to observe how the students handled their money!

1. Most students spent the money as soon as they got into the account. They always seemed to be planning how to SPEND their money.

2. Two of the students were always discussing how to SAVE their money.

No guessing in which group I was! Ever since I was a child, I was always trying to SAVE. I kept little coins in boxes, and I enjoyed SAVING UP!

If you are one of these people who must absolutely SPEND, it will always be like that no matter how much you have. For some people, it is almost as though the money is burning a hole in their pocket, DEMANDING IT BE SPENT!

It all seems so simple, but it is at the heart of CAPITAL accumulation.

At some point you will come into some money, even relatively speaking. Will you SAVE it to do something bigger, or will you SPEND it to make your life more comfortable... a new car, or new clothes, or extension to your house… so many, many things waiting to SPEND money on?!

Hehehe!

Whenever my mother saw a big Spender splashing money around, she would laugh at the person and her favorite expression in my language literally translates to “they have been rejected by money!”

To her it was like watching a clown, making a fool of himself!

These days people will admire and follow someone because they flash around money through cars, houses, and other bling bling. And yet to my mother such people were actually to be laughed at, or even pitied!

I guess we can say that times have changed but true wisdom is timeless.

We should admire people who are BIG SAVERS, and know how to invest their savings shrewdly, even if it's small money!

A lot of people cannot hold onto money!

Mike Tyson made a lot of money when he was boxing, winning three major titles by the time he was only 20 years old, but he went broke [and had to start over again a few times]... This also happens to a lot of soccer players who behave as though they will be paid to play until they are 60 years old!

The ability to hold onto money, any amount, is actually harder than making money.

You must develop a strong mentality of $AVING money. It does not start when you have money; it starts when you have little money, because it is a mentality. Be sure to teach your children the importance of saving, from an early age, like my mother did.

I remember a group of gardeners in my neighbourhood who had a Savings Club, even though their income was pitiful. I had more respect for them than people who go shopping in Dubai until they drop!

Do everything you can to be part of a Saving culture.

End.

Image caption: Sasai app, 2Africa planned undersea cable, Punjabi beauty queen and Nigerian American writer with looks of Under the Udala Trees, Chinelo Okparanta and Dinka Bor Beauty, Aja Anyieth.

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sunmoonandeddie · 4 years

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cowgirls don’t cry (1/5)

pairing: cowboy!bucky barnes x reader

word count: 6,734

summary: After moving to New York City with your dad when you were twelve, you did absolutely everything you could to forget Tennessee, including the blue eyed boy who still remembers you.

chapter warnings: swearing

masterlist

a/n: So I know I said I was gonna wait until this whole series was finished to post but clearly I have no self control and also, I had a really rough week. Let me know what you think!

“Fucking Delta,” you huffed as you pulled the handle up on your carry on.

God, you hated flying. Even though it had only been a three hour flight from New York City to Nashville, Tennessee, it had been straight outta hell. First, there had been a two hour delay. Then, once you’d finally boarded, you had to get back off because apparently some safety thing hadn’t been checked. Then, about an hour into the flight, the girl who was sitting across the aisle from you (What the hell kind of name was Gamora, by the way?) fell during a bout of turbulence and spilled her vodka cranberry all over you.

Who the hell orders a drink on a three hour flight? You thought to yourself as you scrubbed at the wet spot on your jeans. There was no way you weren’t going to smell like an alcoholic.

And now you were stuck in the Nashville International Airport with no clue where the hell you were supposed to go.

You stopped in the middle of the aisle, not caring that people were going to get pissed at you, and dug your phone out of your pocket as you heard the standard iPhone ringtone cut through the air. Shooting a glare back at a woman who was giving you the stink-eye, you brought it up to your ear and started walking again. “Val, thank god you called,” you said as you searched for the baggage claim, dragging your carry on behind you. “I’m never taking Delta again. It was awful.”

“I thought you were in first class?” She said, and you could hear the pop of her gum through the phone.

“Yeah, but I was still flying Delta.” You rushed forward as you spotted your custom Valentino suitcases. “And, ugh, now I’m in this stupid–sorry, I’m grabbing my luggage–weak ass excuse for a city.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” she laughed.

You could just picture her lounging in her bed in New York. Fuck, you’d kill to go back. Maybe you could just book another flight straight home. You could be back in your penthouse in just a few hours, curled up on your Egyptian cotton sheets.

There was no way any bed within a hundred miles had sheets with a thread count over three hundred, you were sure of it.

“Val, this place is like… an off brand Newark.” You finally found an exit that led out onto the street, your head bobbing to and fro as you tried to find a sign with your name on it. Your mom had said that she’d be sending one of the farmhands to pick you up.

Your mom.

God.

That was... different. It was weird.

She’d gotten so excited on the phone when she’d been talking about it that her accent had gotten even thicker than you remembered, saying, “I’ll send one of my boys up there to get you from the airport. He’ll have a sign with your name on it just like in the movies!”

And, sure enough, there it was. Your name written in huge letters, surrounded by glittery red hearts. It looked like a four year old had made it.

“I gotta go,” you sighed, your eyes rolling up to the ceiling. “I’ll let you know if I make it to the farm alive.” Taking a deep breath, you shoved your phone back in your pocket before heading for the blond underneath the sign.

“You Pepper’s girl?” He asked, though he was already taking your luggage from you.

“Yeah. I guess.”

The blond raised an eyebrow at you. “You guess?” A smile played at his lips as he led you towards the huge truck that was waiting by the curb. “You look a lot like the photos she has, though you were… What? Twelve or thirteen when you moved to the city?”

You weren’t sure if you should be offended by that or not. You really hoped that you didn’t look like your twelve year old self, considering that was the peak of your awkward years, complete with braces and frizzy hair that you weren’t able to tame until your dad brought you to one of the best hair stylists in New York City. “Twelve,” you said, your heart dropping as you watched him throw your luggage into the back. “Hey! That’s Valentino!” You snapped, running forward to peek into the bed. It was covered in dried dirt and you just knew that your luggage would be too by the time you got to your mom’s.

“And I’m Steve,” he said, dusting off his hands on his Levis before going round to the driver’s side and jumping in. “What about it?”

There wasn’t really much you could say. You stood there gaping at him like a fish until he reached over and opened up the passenger side.

“Are you gonna stand there all day or are you gonna get in?”

The ride to your mom’s farm was pretty quiet after the first forty-five minutes or so, when Steve realized you weren’t in the mood to talk. He’d tried talking about the weather, the traffic, the best back roads to take to get to your mom’s in the shortest amount of time, but you just weren’t having it. He’d turned up the radio after a few minutes of awkward silence, some new country song that you didn’t know blasting through the speakers.

As you got further and further away from the city, you felt any hope of an entertaining summer dwindle.

To: Val

So much for Hot Girl Summer :((

You didn’t bother to check your phone when it vibrated in your hand, your forehead leaning against the window as you watched the scenery fly by. There were little things here and there that you were starting to recognize, despite the amount of time you’ve spent away.

You sat up a little straighter as you saw a little 50s style diner on the corner. “Winnie’s place is still open?”

“Like anyone would ever let it close,” Steve said with a bit of a laugh, a fond smile on his lips as he glanced over at the building. “It’s the best damn place to eat this side of the Mississippi.”

Part of you wanted to disagree, wanted to tell him that Daniel’s on East 65th Street was the best, but the words got stuck in your throat as the faint memory of peach pie with a strawberry milkshake with extra whipped cream and two cherries filled your head.

Unknown to you, Steve smiled over at you, knowing that you might’ve been taken out of the country, but the country still hadn’t been taken out of you.

It was just… buried.

“It’s… smaller than I remember,” you said, half to yourself and half to Steve, when he parked in front of your mother’s house. You’d passed the sign for Potts Farm just a few minutes before.

“To be fair, you were at least a few inches shorter when you were last here,” he said as he grabbed your suitcases from the back.

Sure enough, your custom Valentino luggage set was covered in dirt.

You didn’t have time to be too upset about it though. Your mom came crashing out of the front door, bolting down the front porch steps, and barreling into you.

“MY BABY’S HOME!” She shouted with a laugh as she hugged you tight, the air leaving your lungs with a grunt.

“Hi, mom,” you squeaked, patting her back awkwardly.

Her strawberry blonde hair was swept up into a messy braid just like you remembered, though you could spot a few gray hairs here and there. “Look how you’ve grown! You’ve gotten so big!” Tears pricked her eyes as she took you in, brushing your hair away from your face. “You look a lot like your daddy.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” you said, clearing your throat as you turned to grab your luggage.

If she was hurt by your dismissive attitude, she didn’t show it. “How is your daddy, by the way?”

“Dad’s fine.”

She waved Steve back over before you could get very far, motioning to your luggage. “Don’t worry about that, he’ll take those up to your room.”

“No, really, it’s fine,” you said, grabbing them before he could. You didn’t want to risk anything more happening to your precious suitcases. The brute would probably end up breaking off the handle or something.

Your mom blinked once before shaking her head. “Right, right. You can carry your own stuff.” She led you up the old porch steps, the wood groaning under the weight. “Remind me to have Buck work on the porch,” she called out to Steve as she took you inside. “I keep telling myself to have him fix up those old steps, but then I forget or I just think about how much trouble it would be because he’d just end up redoing the whole thing.”

“Well, the wood is old probably crawling with termites. It’s probably a safety hazard,” you said absentmindedly as you looked around the front foyer. It looked almost exactly the same. You took your time on the staircase, taking in all the photos that lined it. Your brows furrowed as you saw two pictures of you side by side. One was from your high school graduation and the other was from your college graduation. “How’d you get these?”

“Your daddy sent them to me,” she said from the top of the stairs. She was watching you with a strange look in her eyes.

Anger welled up in your chest and your jaw clenched as you fought from screaming at her. She had time to ask him to send her photos of you but not enough to write you? Call you? Anything? It had taken her ten years to find you and message you on Facebook, of all things.

You pushed down the indignation, biting your lip as you continued up the stairs. But you stopped again as you saw a photo of a little girl that definitely wasn’t you. Your mom was holding her close, their faces squished together. “Who’s that?”

��That’s Morgan, Tony and I’s daughter,” your mom said, leaning against the stair railing. “She just turned four a few weeks ago.”

“Great,” you bit back as you stomped up the remaining stairs.

She rushed forward and opened up the door to your childhood bedroom. “I made sure to wash the sheets and everything and air everything out.”

It looked exactly the same, all the way down to the princess pink bed sheets and matching comforter. The soft pink curtains were blowing in the soft breeze that drifted in from the open window, the little rhinestones catching the late afternoon light. It didn’t smell like the Bath and Body Works perfume that you always used to spray on yourself every morning, but that was probably a good thing since you were a sweet pea kind of twelve-year-old.

“I’ll leave you to get settled,” your mom said as she lingered at the door. “Dinner will be ready at about six if you wanna rest up.”

You didn’t so much as give her a nod, you just waited for her to leave, for the sound of the screen door opening and closing before even moving, before letting out a huff of air and allowing your eyes to prick with tears. There were so many feelings swirling around inside your chest and you didn’t know which one to feel at which time.

You pulled out your phone and called Val, knowing that she’d have some piece of advice to give. At the very least, she’d know how to calm you down.

“Come on, pick up, pick up,” you muttered as you paced the hardwood floors. Your nose was starting to run from crying, and you sniffed, rubbing your nose.

“Hello?”

Your heart burst out of your chest as she finally picked up. “Hi.”

“You know, when you said you were going to call, I didn’t think it’d be this soon,” she said. But the teasing tone in her voice dropped as soon as she heard your teary laugh. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here,” you admitted as you sat on the bed, your elbows resting on your knees.

“What do you mean, babe? Your mom asked you to come.”

You let your head hang back as you stared up at the ceiling. “I don’t know why. She has an entirely new family.”

“Oh, come on,” Valkyrie said, her voice soft and soothing. “Your mom loves you.”

“Then why didn’t she try talking to me after I moved? She didn’t even send a birthday card for over ten years! And I–” Your heart jumped in your throat as you fought back another wave of tears. “I have a sister that I didn’t even know about.”

Val let out a long sigh. “Maybe she’s trying to make up for that.”

Running your fingers through your hair, you turned to glance out the window. You could see your mom talking to some of the farm boys out in the yard, pointing in various directions. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Look, why don’t you take a shower?” She suggested. “You’re probably all gross from traveling and it’ll help clear your head a little. Then, maybe talk to your mom?”

“You’re right,” you said, falling back on the bed. “What would I do without you?”

“Wither away.”

Rolling your eyes, you stood up and headed for the private bathroom that you’d been lucky enough to have as a kid. The bathroom matched your bedroom, princess pink everything.

Granted, not much had changed. You were still a princess type, but now it was more sophisticated. At least, you liked to think so.

“Yeah, yeah. I love you, Val.”

“I love you, too. And maybe find a hot cowboy.”

You fiddled with the shower, trying to remember how to get the hot water working. “I have a boyfriend, remember?”

“Yeah, and he sucks,” she said. “A cowboy would be much better than that stuffy asshole.”

You finally got the water working and smiled as you leaned back against the sink. “How about this? I’ll see if I can find you a cowgirl if you come and visit me. I don’t know if I’ll survive a month without my best friend.”

“Deal.”

Barking out a laugh, the two of you said your goodbyes for another few minutes before finally hanging up.

The steam from the shower was already fogging up the mirror as you stripped down and stepped under the spray, Ella Mai playing from your phone.

God, Val was right.

Then again, she always was.

The heat from the water loosened up all the muscles in your body that had been so tense. Your mind was clear of any worries for the first time in weeks.

Time flew by, and by the time you got out, it had been a long hour that you spent washing up.

Your hair was still wrapped up in a towel when there was a knock on your bedroom door. Figuring it was your mom, you opened it up, shocked to see a wall of a man standing there with a bouquet of wildflowers in hand. He was wearing a dirty gray t-shirt and faded jeans, a cowboy hat resting on his head. He was covered in the muck that came from working on a farm.

“Firefly,” he said with a wide grin, rushing forward to hug you.

Panicking, you reached behind you to the desk and grabbed the mini taser that you kept on your key ring, sticking it into his side.

He fell to the ground with a sharp yelp, clutching onto his side as the flowers dropped. “What… the hell… was that for?!” He gasped out as he tried to catch his breath.

You were standing a few feet away, holding the taser out at him in what you hoped was a threatening stance. “Who the fuck are you?!”

You could hear several pairs of boots thundering up the steps, but you didn’t move.

“Bucky!” Steve shouted as he rushed to his side.

Your mom, however, ran to you. “Did you… Did you tase Bucky?!” She asked as she held your face in her hands.

“He attacked me!”

“I was trying,” ‘Bucky’ grunted as he tried to sit up, still holding his side, “to hug you.”

You glared at him, your heart pounding against your ribs. “Do you always go around hugging people you don’t know?!”

A man behind Steve started cackling, bending over in half as he slapped his knee. “I’ll be damned. Little ol’ Potts doesn’t remember Buckaroo.”

“Yeah, and I don’t know you either,” you retorted as you pointed the taser at him threateningly. Your mom tried pushing your hand down, but you didn’t budge. “And my last name isn’t Potts. I took my dad’s name.”

“I’m Sam. Sam Wilson,” he said as he tipped his hat. “We were in school together. We all were.”

Lips pursed, you took a closer look at him. “You tried running me over with a four wheeler,” you said as his face clicked in your mind. He looked older, obviously. He’d already been a few years older than you.

He winced, his hands going to his hips. “That would be the thing you remember about me.”

Your hand whipped back to point at this Bucky guy as Steve helped him to his feet.

The brunet eyed you with something akin to sorrow as he carefully reached down and picked up the bouquet. “You really don’t remember me, huh?”

There was a pang in your heart as you slowly let your hand fall to your side, switching the taser off. “Should I?”

He let out a weak chuckle, nodding as he stared down at the flowers. “Well, my momma made you homemade peach pie and it’s down in the kitchen if you want some.” He dropped the flowers onto the dresser beside the door. “Your favorite. At least, it used to be.”

You watched quietly as he left, swallowing around the lump in your throat. You didn’t understand why seeing him upset brought out such a… visceral reaction from you.

Steve followed after him, and Sam awkwardly tipped his hat at you before heading downstairs with them.

“Mom, who was he?” You asked, your voice cracking. Your eyes hadn’t left the space he’d been standing in.

“Bucky was your best friend growing up,” she said as the two of you sat on your bed. It creaked under the weight of both of you. “You couldn’t get one without the other.”

“He probably thinks I’m a real bitch, huh?” You asked, rubbing your clammy hands on your leggings.

“Nah,” she said, wrapping an arm around you. “He just… He’s missed you a lot. When you first moved to New York City with your dad, you two used to talk on the phone everyday. Winnie said she never could get him off that phone. They ended up having to get a different phone plan that had unlimited calls.”

Your brows furrowed. “I… I can remember talking on the phone all the time, but then the calls just… stopped.”

You could faintly remember running around with a boy whose limbs were too long and his hair too shaggy.

“He… He used to wear his dad’s cowboy hat,” you said, really digging into your memories. But you’d spent so long repressing them, trying to forget Tennessee and everyone in it. “He—”

You broke off as you heard a much smaller pair of feet running up the stairs.

“MOMMA!” A little voice shouted as the girl from the pictures, Morgan, appeared in the doorway.

Your heart clenched as you watched her throw herself at your mom, turning your face away. You didn’t want to see the girl that she had replaced you with.

“Hey, June Bug!” She said as she caught her, hugging her tight. “How was the farmer’s market?”

June Bug. She even had a nickname for her.

“Good!” She said, not even sparing you a glance. “We got that organic coffee creamer stuff from Wanda!”

“Morgan, this is your sister,” your mom said, finally bringing the four year old’s attention to you. “The one I was telling you about, remember?”

“Hi,” she said softly, brown eyes blinking up at you curiously.

“Hi.”

“I’ll let you two get acquainted,” your mom said as she set Morgan down on the bed where she had been sitting. She gave you one last look before slipping down the stairs.

You weren’t sure what to think of her. She was gangly and young and sweet, and you wanted to hate her.

But how could you hate someone like her?

This whole thing wasn’t her fault. She didn’t make her dad fall in love with your mom.

She definitely didn’t make your mom replace you.

“So, you’re Morgan,” you said, finally looking up from your lap.

“And you’re my sister,” she said, raising her eyebrows.

You gave her your name and she repeated it with a sort of wonder in her eyes.

“Momma talks about you all the time,” she said, kicking her legs happily. “She called your dad a bad word, though. I heard her. But she doesn’t know that.”

It was strange, hearing that. “I thought… Nevermind,” you said, shaking your head. There was so much to process and you just couldn’t handle anymore. Not when it’d been such a long day already, what with flying and tasing the man who was apparently your old childhood friend.

Even if he was the gangly boy you remembered, there was no way he grew to be that big without steroids of some kind, right?

Right?

“Daddy’s barbecuing tonight,” Morgan said as she got down from the bed. She didn’t even wait for you as she headed downstairs, just expecting you to follow.

And you did. Sure, it was with a sigh and an eye roll, but you did follow.

You could hear lively chatter as the two of you headed to the kitchen. To your surprise, it was like a small army had descended upon the house.

“Daddy!” Morgan shouted as she ran into a dark-haired man’s arms.

Your mom’s fiancé, Tony Stark. He was sweet looking. Almost like a puppy.

“Hey,” he said with a warm smile as he spotted you loitering half in and half out of the kitchen. “I’m Tony. I’ve heard so much about you.”

You plastered on a cookie cutter smile. “I’ve heard nothing about you.”

His genuine grin didn’t falter as he pulled you into a hug. “I’m so happy you’re here! Pepper has talked about nothing else for weeks!”

Was he always this chipper? You weren’t sure if you could handle a month with someone who was the human embodiment of sunshine. You were such an introvert, and he clearly wasn’t.

Over his shoulder, you saw your mom watching you with bright eyes.

Patting his back awkwardly, you ducked out of his embrace and escaped to the other side of the kitchen, where the guys you had met earlier were finishing up side dishes.

“Hi,” you said as you sidled up to Steve. Bucky was on his other side, but you still weren’t quite sure how you felt about him.

But then again, that was probably because of how guilty you felt. What kind of girl forgets the boy that was her best friend as a kid?

You, apparently.

“Here, try it,” the blond said as he held out a fork with green beans on it.

“Steve, I know what green beans taste like,” you said with a scoff.

“Darlin’, these are my award winning green beans,” he said, waving the fork in your face.

You weren’t sure how green beans could be award winning, but you took the fork from him with a sigh, shoving it in your mouth. As soon as the flavor hit your mouth you sighed.

So that’s how.

“I’ll give it to you, it’s good,” you grumbled, handing him the fork back.

A triumphant smirk lit up his face. “I’ll be damned, the city girl can enjoy things!”

You stuck out your tongue at him as you leaned back against the counter, taking a moment to observe those around you. There was your mom, Morgan, and Tony, of course, as well as Steve, Sam, and Bucky. Right outside the propped open back door, there was a blonde girl who looked like she could lift four hundred pounds, and you may have made a mental note to text Val about her. She had a thing for tough women. There were a few other guys loitering around that all seemed to be in such a rush that you couldn’t quite keep ‘em straight, but you guessed there was about four of them.

“Don’t you have a sister, Bucky?” You asked as you searched the array of faces.

He looked at you in surprise, blue eyes wide. “Uh, yeah. Becca’s got a date though.”

“A date?” You repeated. That couldn’t be right, could it? “But isn’t she, like… eight?”

He snorted as he grabbed the gallon of milk on the counter, eyeballing how much he poured into the bowl of mashed potatoes he was working on. “She’s nineteen now, actually.”

“Oh.”

Steve looked between the two of you, clearing his throat. “I’m gonna go help Carol and Tony with the grill.” When Sam didn’t move, too enraptured by the mac and cheese he was preparing, he cleared his throat again, finally getting the other man to look up and catch on.

“Oh, yeah, gotta–” Sam coughed, grabbing the glass bowl, “Gotta check the grill.”

The two of you stood there in relative silence for what felt like an eternity. “Can I… Is there anything I can do to help?” You asked, feeling rather awkward just standing around while everyone else worked to prepare dinner.

“Uh, you can peel some more potatoes,” he said, nodding at the bowl of freshly washed spuds. There was a peeler sitting on a paper plate right next to it, having clearly been used just a little while before.

“Sure,” you said, eager to do something. You needed to break up the awkwardness that was between you two, but you weren’t sure how.

But you only got about thirty seconds into peeling the potatoes when you were stopped.

“No! Not like that,” Bucky snapped as he grabbed the peeler from your hands. “You’re gonna end up cutting your finger off and then the potatoes will be ruined because you got blood all over them.” He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second, before turning back to you. “Look, you gotta hold the potato like this.” He held it with his hand underneath it, his fingers out of the way. When you nodded, he grabbed your hand and placed it in the correct position. “See? Like this.” His other hand placed the peeler in your hand before wrapping around it, guiding you. “And you peel away from you slowly… Like that.”

Your face felt rather hot as his calloused hands guided yours, his chest pressed against your back. His breath was hot on your ear.

The two of you lingered once the potato was completely peeled, almost like you were afraid of breaking whatever spell surrounded the two of you.

As much as you didn’t want to admit it, his warmth around you was a welcome one. You’d felt so… safe with his arms enclosing you.

Even if it was just to show you the proper way to peel a potato.

Biting your lip, you suddenly remembered that there were other people in the kitchen. A lot of other people. “We should…”

He coughed, nodding as he quickly detached himself from you. “Yeah. Yeah. You got it. You’re good.”

You kept your head down as you peeled the rest of the potatoes, not wanting anyone to see how flushed you’d gotten. You could hear a few giggly whispers behind you and you willed yourself not to snap at them to mind their own business.

By the time you finished the second batch of mashed potatoes, everyone else was bringing in their dishes, setting them all along the counter.

It was strange how second nature it all felt, getting your plate fixed up and sitting at a table so crowded that it was impossible not to knock elbows with the people on either side of you.

“You’re Pepper’s daughter, right?” The tough blonde woman from before sat on your left as Morgan took the spot on your right. “I’m Carol.”

You gave her your name, your lips pressed in an anxious smile. “Are you one of the farmhands, too? There’s a lot more of you guys then I remembered.”

“Yeah.” She reached across the table and grabbed the pepper, sprinkling it over her helping of mac and cheese. “Your momma hired Sam, Thor, Clint, and I after she bought the neighboring dairy farm.”

“And what about him?” You asked, nodding towards the kid who looked about seventeen.

“That’s Peter. He helps out around here for extra cash on the weekends.”

“And him?”

Carol grinned as she followed your gaze to the older man who was sitting beside Tony. “That’s Scott. He works on all the tractors and stuff. Keeps everything running.”

“Aren’t you going to eat some meat?” Thor’s booming voice asked from across the table, reaching to put a pork steak on your plate.

“No, I’m actually a vegetarian,” you said.

Everyone kinda stopped, staring at you in surprise.

Your cheeks flushed with the heat of everyone’s gazes.

“Just gotta make sure to get you some extra beans then,” Bucky said, breaking the silence as he reached over and dumbed an extra spoonful of green beans on your plate. “Don’t want you to not get enough protein.”

You sat there picking at your plate as everyone else went back to their conversations, like nothing had ever happened.

Being at the table sent a wave of loneliness crashing over you. Everyone around you was part of a family, and you… you were just an outsider that had been invited to stay for a little while. And even then, you felt like you were a spectator, watching all of them from a window.

You just wanted in.

“I’ll be back,” you mumbled as you stood. Your chair scraped loudly on the hardwood floor as you left the table.

You weren’t sure where you were heading when you walked out the front door and down the rotting steps of the front porch. The sun had started to set and you could hear the chirping of cicadas coming from the trees.

You just knew you needed to get away from it. From the house, from your mom, Morgan, Bucky, all of it.

As you walked, you clicked on your boyfriend’s contact, hitting the call button. You’d already called Val twice today and you didn’t want to bother her yet again.

Hopefully your boyfriend would pick up.

It rang and rang and rang again as you kept walking down the dirt path that led away from the house in the opposite direction of the way you’d first come in.

“Hey, you’ve reached Brock Rumlow. Leave your name and number and I’ll think about–”

You groaned as you hung up, shoving your phone back into your pocket. Of course he wouldn’t pick up when you really needed him, the asshole.

Then again, you don’t know why you expected anything different. In the five years you’d been with Brock, your relationship had never been an affectionate one. You weren’t the couple that talked on the phone or texted all the time. You were both so busy. It had been that way since you first started dating him your junior year of high school.

But you’d at least hoped he’d pick up this time. After all, he knew that you were going to be in Tennessee for a month.

A stable appeared up ahead and you felt something familiar settle in your chest as you headed straight for it. You were curious about what all had changed.

The stable door creaked as you slowly pushed it open. The late day sunshine streamed in through the sun lights in the ceiling. The horses that were already in their stalls for the night whinnied and shuffled in the hay.

“Dixie?” You called softly as you read the plaques that were on the outside of each stall. There was Gunner, Brooklyn, Shiloh, Maggie, Ginger, and Butterscotch.

And right there at the end was your beautiful Arabian. She let out a soft chuff when she saw you, her hooves stomping excitedly.

“Hiya, Dixie,” you laughed as you held your hand out for her to sniff. Your eyes pricked with tears as she nuzzled up against you, wrapping your arms around her. “I’ve missed you, too.” Her gorgeous black tail flicked as she nudged you. “What do you say we get out for a ride, huh?” You asked as you pulled yourself over the stall door, landing in the hay that covered the ground. You grabbed the bridle that was hanging on the wall and carefully put it on her. “There you go, pretty girl…” You stared at the saddle for a little longer than you would like to admit, trying to remember everything you needed to do. Finally you just grabbed it and put it on her. “Come on, Dixie,” you said as you grabbed the reins, undoing the latch on the stall and leading her out. “Let’s ride.”

The paddock was right where you remembered it, just outside the back entrance of the stables. The Arabian was just as well behaved as she’d always been for you as you let her in the gate. She stood perfectly still as you hooked one foot into the stirrup, pulling yourself up onto her back.

“That’s a good girl,” you cooed as you patted her chocolate brown flank. Grabbing her reins, you urged her forward in a gentle trot.

And promptly fell on your ass.

You heard someone shout your name and barking as you laid there on the ground, the wind effectively knocked out of you. Groaning, you tried to roll on your side, squeezing your eyes shut, but it just made it hurt worse. Dixie was trotting circles around you, neighing worriedly.

You were lucky she didn’t get too close. One wrongly placed step and she could crush your bones.

“Are you fuckin’ crazy?!”

You opened your eyes just in time for Bucky to slide to you on his knees, his hat falling into the dust as he pulled you to his chest. “Just… wanted to ride… my horse,” you huffed, grunting as you felt another stab of pain.

“Yeah? And when’s the last time you road, dumbass? Ten years ago?” He snapped as he stood up, carrying you bridle style.

Steve was taking care of Dixie, attempting to calm her down. He had a hold on her reins and was trying to keep her from panicking, but one of the dogs had gotten in and was barking wildly.

“Stop it!” You shouted as you forced yourself to your feet, stumbling towards your horse. “Get that dog away from her!” You didn’t pay any mind to Bucky ordering you to stop. You grabbed the reins from Steve, pressing your forehead against Dixie’s. “It’s okay, girl. It’s okay. I gotcha. That was all me, not you. That was my fault.” She brayed softly as you ran your hands soothingly down her neck. “Yeah, I know. I know. I’m sorry.”

“Stay, Cash.” Steve huffed out a weak laugh as he kneeled on the ground, keeping the dog’s attention on him. His chest was heaving as he watched Dixie settle. “You and Bucky are still the only two she’ll let near her.”

“You didn’t fix the strap,” Bucky said, as he grabbed the saddle. He was pissed.

“I’ll remember it next time,” you said as you carefully ran your fingers through Dixie’s mane.

“Baby!”

You turned to see your mother running towards you, terror in her eyes. “Mom, it’s fine,” you said, holding onto Dixie, who was starting to get agitated.

“Like hell it is,” Bucky snapped. “You can’t just jump back on a horse after ten years.”

“She’s my horse!”

“Yeah? Then who’s been taking care of her?”

You froze as though he’d slapped you. Ice ran through your veins as you tore your eyes away from his. “She’s still my horse.”

Bucky stared at you for a long time. Finally, with a scoff, he grabbed his hat off the ground and headed back towards the house. “Cash, come.”

The border collie yipped happily as he followed after him, nipping playfully at his heels as he did.

Steve took one last look at you before running after him.

“Mom, I’m fine. Really,” you said as you gripped the reins. “I’ve fallen off my horse before.”

“I know,” she said as she put her hands in her back pockets. “You don’t gotta tell me how tough you are. I raised you. I was the one to first put you on a horse. I know what my daughter can handle.”

Your heart twisted again as you remembered when you first got Dixie. “I was seven,” you said, voice quiet. “I remember crying because I didn’t have my own horse like you and dad. I came home a few weeks later and you had this foal in the paddock.” You couldn’t help but smile. “You said that if I wanted a horse, then I had to raise her. I had to be the one to feed her and train her. But I wasn’t allowed to ride her until she was three, and I hated it.”

“You cried the entire first ride, but you were laughing, too,” she said.

The air between you was thick with nostalgia and lost time. Cicadas buzzed in the trees as the sun sank lower and lower behind the horizon.

Finally, you looked up at her. “Mom–”

“Yes?” She looked so hopeful as she stared at you.

“Why didn’t…” You held back the tears that welled up in your eyes as you stared down at the ground. “Why didn’t you ever call me?”

“Baby, what are you talking about?” She asked, coming a few steps closer. Her brows were furrowed, her hands out of her pockets.

It was no use trying not to cry. A decade of emotions was pouring out and holding them back was like a barn door trying to hold back the Mississippi.

“Nevermind,” you said, pulling Dixie out of the paddock. “Forget about it.”

You couldn’t deal with that right now. It had been a long day and adding asking your mom why she forgot about you was not the way to end it.

Another time, maybe.

After you put Dixie back in her stall and gave her a thorough brushing, you were shocked to find your mom waiting outside.

“I have a question for you,” she said as she fell into step with you.

“Yeah?”

She stared out at the dirt road ahead of you two, chewing on her lower lip. “Would you be my Maid of Honor?”

You tripped over air in your shock and when you caught yourself, you gave her a look as though she’d grown two heads. “What?”

“I want you to be my Maid of Honor,” she said, as though she was asking what you wanted for breakfast in the morning. “We’ve got a month ‘til the wedding. I figure that’ll be enough time to get you a dress and get it fitted.”

You couldn’t help but ask, “Why?”

“Because you’re my daughter and I want you to be a part of this. It’s important to me.”

God, you must’ve gotten your puppy dog eyes from her because without another thought, you said, “Sure! I’d love to!”

She let out a squeal that was more befitting of Morgan than her as she hugged you tightly, rambling on at a hundred miles an hour. “We can go to Hope’s in a few days to get your dress and oh! The county fair is gonna be in town for your birthday! It’ll be just like old times!”

“Yeah,” you said, a sense of dread filling you. “Just like old times.”

#bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #cowboy!bucky

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paramountz-official · 3 years

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sardonicnihilism · 3 years

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A Biography of the Woman Who Never Was

Part 5 The Older Woman

Chapter 5

The rest of 2018 and 2019 passed in fairly unremarkable fashion. The kids kept seeing the counselor, Jerry's behavior and grades improved until he was one of his grades top students. Tabatha, likewise, did extremely well academically. Jerry joined the school soccer team and took up violin, and Tabatha took up piano, guitar, and drums. While life continued with its normal ups and downs, it really did seem like the worst was behind them.

Even when 2020 hit like a meteor, it still didn't affect Shannon and her family that much. Both Sam and Shannon were deemed essential workers, and therefore kept their jobs. The schools shut down, but Shannon did home lessons over the summer and the kids did remote learning in the fall. Jerry struggled, having a hard time staying focused, but Tabatha did exceptionally well.

It was November when things started to go to Hell for them personally. Shannon started noticing a pain in her right chest and shoulder. It would constantly ache, and if she moved too fast, bolts of sharp, white hot pain would shoot through her body. At first she thought it was just muscle strain from lifting too much (she had gotten back into weight training to lose weight), but when she had taken a week off and there was no improvement, she knew she had to see a doctor.

Here appointment was in December, the week after Christmas. The doctor checked her out and then chewed her out. She was 47 years old and had never had a mammogram. Shannon reluctantly agreed to have one and her doctor made the appointment.

Shannon got her mammogram the second week of January at 8:50 AM. By 3:30 PM, she had three messages saying she should contact them immediately. Shannon had breast cancer. More than that, it had already spread to other parts of her body. After a consultation with the entire family, they decided on an aggressive treatment plan. Unfortunately, it was too late.

Shannon's health declined rapidly. Most of her hair fell out and she shrank from 252 pounds to 110. She was week and tired all the time. She mostly laid in bed, only getting up to use the bathroom; usually to vomit. It was decided that she would enter the hospital for her final days.

Sam would visit everyday. At first he brought the kids with him every time, then every other day, and then they would only come once a week on Sundays. By the end of April, it was clear it was only a matter of days.

Sam's last visit was on a Sunday. It was a perfect spring day. It was so warm and sunny that it made Sam angry. It seemed like a cosmic insult to everything he and Shannon were going through. However, he had managed to purge himself of his bitterness by the time he had gotten to Shannon's room.

She was staring out the window, a contemplative smile gracing her gaunt face. Her hands were folded in her lap and she looked almost transcendent.

"How's the most beautiful woman in the world doing today?" he asked with forced happiness as he entered her room.

Shannon turned to him and smiled as happy a smile as she could. "I don't know. I haven't seen her today," she joked back in her weak, hoarse voice.

Sam grabbed a chair and sat beside her. "How're you sweetie?" he asked with a hushed sadness.

"I'm ok. Best as possible I suppose. I was just thinking I beat mom by a month. She passed in April, I made it all the way to May. Of course she beats me on years though." Shannon's sense of gallows humor was not only still there, but had become stronger than ever.

"I tried to get the kids to come out, but they just couldn't," Sam said apologetically.

Shannon just waved her hand. "It's ok, my family never did do death well."

She turned back to the window and started talking as much to herself as to Sam. "I was going to ask you to make a recording of me saying my farewells to the kids, but then I thought if I really wanted this to be the last and forever image of me; a sad, shriveled up husk of a human being - an image of sadness and loss? That just seems too cruel. I'd rather be forgotten if that is the case."

"You'll never be forgotten," Sam tried to reassure her.

She turned back to him, smiling even more. "We're all forgotten eventually darling." She then reached out and took his hand. "It's been a life, hasn't it?"

"It sure has," he said, trying to smile, but tears were already starting to run down his cheek. "And I thank you for being the love of mine."

"As you are with mine," she said in a peaceful voice.

"No, you don't have to say that. You don't have to pretend." He shook his head as he spoke. He didn't want their potentially last moments to be filled with lies.

"Who's pretending?" Shannon said, sounding almost happy, like he had just told her a joke. "What? You think because I'm not romantically or sexualy attracted to you, that means you're not the love of my life? People put so much emphasis on romantic love. Darling, you were far more than a lover. Being a lover is easy. You were a friend." She then brought his hand to her mouth and kissed it.

Sam was now weeping heavily. "The first time I met you in the library, I knew I loved you," he choked out.

"When I was a little girl, I asked my grandfather why he kept the dogs outside. He said because animals don't belong in the house. That night, my biological mother, left me in her car while she went into the bar. I was alone, freezing. I wondered if maybe I was an animal and that's why I was being left alone.

"My entire life I felt alone, unloved, unlovable. I was angry and bitter and I hurt anyone or thing I could so they would feel what I felt. I caused so much pain.

"Then I met Jen and I thought I found love. I loved her and I thought she loved me, but she only loved what she thought I was. When I turned out not to be that, she turned her back on me and I went off the deep end.

"And then there was you. You made me laugh. I could talk to you about anything. I felt safe around you; not physically, but emotionally. I became a better person because of you.

"Even when I came out to you, you didn't turn me away, throw me out, which I would have understood if you did. You never stopped being my rock, my shoulder to cry on, the clown to make me laugh when I was crying. You never stopped being my friend."

"And I never will," Sam barely choked out.

"And that is why you're the love of my life."

Sam got up and they embraced. He gave her a kiss on the forehead and she gave him one the cheek. They spent the next five hours just reminiscening and joking.

"I better get going, I suppose," Sam said reluctantly. "I can't leave the kids alone all day, but I don't want to leave you alone either. Not to die at least."

"We all die alone honey, even if we're surrounded by people," she said with a smile. "Go. You're a father and your kids need you. I'm already dead. The only thing the dead need is rest. Just, just tell the kids I love them."

"Always," he said tearfully.

A couple hours after he left, she began to feel really tired, her fingers and toes started going numb. She knew the time had come.

She started thinking about tombstones. A name, a dash, and another date. Everything she was, everything she had been, reduced to a small line, carved in a stone that would survive long after she had been forgotten. It seemed unfair, cruel even.

She then thought about something else, something she had learned back in college. She thought about quantum entanglement, how two atoms can become entangled, linked forever across time and space, eternal mirrors to each other.

Her mind then darted to the concept of the multiverse. How there might be infinite universes out, each with their own version of her. What if two versions could be linked somehow? Entangled? What if her mirror was out there? Could she reach her? Could her mind link across dimensions to one of her other selves to share her story?

*Please, please, if can hear me, please tell my story. Please don't let me be forgotten!*, she thought over and over to herself, trying to reach out to anyone who might hear until her brain ceased to function and she passed away.

**************************************

Shannon Brown was born on November 22, 1975 to a single, alcoholic mother. He was taken in by his grandparents and his aunt Mary who raised him as her own. It is Mary who he considers to be his real mother. His biological mother, Kathy, would have two other children, a girl named Tracy (1977) and Paul Jr. (1979).

By about 4 or 5, Shannon knew that he wasn't a he, but a she, but having no language to express this, she kept this to herself. Shannon grew up alone, morbidly obese for most of her life, she never really had any friends and was constantly bullied and picked on. This made her angry and she would often act out in horrible and usually, self destructive ways.

She did manage to lose weight and was thin from 19 to 24. It was at this time she met her future wife, Samantha Hopwood online. Samantha, an Australian citizen, eventually moved to the United States and they got married in 2001. In 2009, their first child, Joshua was born.

It was after that, Shannon came out to Samantha as transgender. It caused a lot of pain and anger in their marriage, but they were able to work through some of it so that they had their second child, Tara, in 2011. In 2020, after years of being partially closeted, Shannon came out to everyone on Facebook (much to the horror of her wife).

It was about this time that Shannon discovered an app called FaceApp. It could change your photo to look like a child, old person, even the opposite physical gender. Shannon took a picture of herself, femininized it, and then took that new picture and reaged it from a little girl to an old woman. As Shannon stared at the pictures, she couldn't help but marvel over how real they looked! These looked like real pictures of an actual person.

"Who are you?" she said to herself. "Who are you, what is your story?" The more she stared at the pictures, the more she could almost hear this stranger call out, "Please, please, tell my story." It was then Shannon knew what she had to do. She opened her Tumblr app, hit the write symbol, and began-

A Biography of the Woman Who Never Was

Part 1: The Girl

Chapter 1

*This story is dedicated to the memory of H.P. Lovecraft; a horrible man, but great world builder. This wouldn't exist without him.*

#fiction #dark #drama #queer stories #slice of life #sad #fantasy #lovecraft

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taxhand78 · 3 years

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You can Thank Us Later - 3 Causes To Cease Desirous about Karaoke

Karaoke 5 is a powerful karaoke player for freshmen and professionals. The one trick is finding them on the list at the karaoke bars. Increasingly more bars and eating places are hiring karaoke DJs or putting in jukeboxes with karaoke selections in each Spanish and English. Everything from the WorldParty mod (Beta) has been included as well: duets at the moment are standardized, 6 simultaneous players can play on a single display (or nonetheless spanned throughout two screens for big karaoke occasions), online leaderboards are integrated into the main recreation, and much a lot far more. Karaoke fans, here's a brand new Facebook web page, launched yesterday, on which you'll be able to play the karaoke music-of-the-day and report your self singing along! To record yourself singing the music-of-the-day, open the tune in a separate window and play it whereas singing into the digital camera and microphone. Singing can launch endorphins and oxytocin, which create emotions of belief, intimacy and euphoria. We hope you get pleasure from this launch! It was Bob Hope who gave him the identify Tony Bennett. But trust me, karaoke really IS all about YOU, and You're the one who makes all of it worthwhile for me simply by leaving all of your cares on the door and participating in a evening of joyful noise.

So thank you, thanks, thank you! How do I stop being nervous when singing? And who doesn’t love being surrounded by smiling faces? Almost everybody has tried karaoke, and I'd guess at least 50% of the people who attempt it find yourself as regulars. She even spoke to George Harrison, who asked her to perform at an environmental benefit. Your respect. When you applaud for a singer like you imply it, even when they’re not robust on expertise, it makes their day-and mine. “The viewers can all the time tell when somebody is singing a music for themselves versus when they’re singing it for the room,” Daly advises. Passion for a particular track will outshine any points you may have with actually singing and can easily win a crowd over no matter what the music is. There are worse issues than drinking collectively over Skype or Zoom, particularly if that’s what you would be doing in the event you met in particular person. When you set-up the karaoke get mates and household over to have a ball of a time.

Located in the guts of Midtown Manhattan, Karaoke City is the proper spot to seize a couple of mates for a night time of karaoke kraziness, or request our celebration room and convey the whole home (up to one hundred individuals)! In case you and your mates are having fun with yourselves, it validates all of the dollars and hours that I spent to build the show. You necessarily won't want a whole lot of issues, they usually normally have prerecorded songs which are favorites for nearly each kid. The one external part you would possibly want is a tv which you'd plug it into to view the lyrics if necessary. If you don’t want to make this date a chore, you’ll need some severely good doggie treats. Need to sing Patsy Cline? Patsy Cline was only 30 years outdated when she died in a aircraft crash in 1963, but during her quick career she turned one of the vital influential singers of the twentieth century. Patsy hated "Walking After Midnight" and "Crazy" (written for her by Willie Nelson), and nearly did not record either one among them. At Karaoke Annie we have obtained the Willie Nelson model and a jazzy version by Ella Fitgerald.

He fought in World War II, when the armed forces were racially segregated, and got himself demoted by having dinner with a black friend from highschool. For the 2020 Karaoke World Champion, Garvaundo Hamilton, the answer is pretty easy. 셔츠룸 and karaoke go ever so nicely together, do not they? Delicious worldwide beers have been supplied by The Beer Company, now open on the Ancha de San Antonio and ready to ship to your house or event venue. Plus all-in-one machines, iPods and pc-primarily based karaoke software program packages are making home events extra frequent. But when you buy your individual karaoke CD (ranging in worth from 60 pesos here in San Miguel to $15 or extra per CD within the U.S.), you'll be able to take it to La Vecindad on the Salida a Celaya, as they're on a guide system that makes use of CDs, like I do, as a substitute of a pc-based system. With inbuilt speakers, they'll take many forms of enter. You can even use the inputs to plug in an instrument (I.e. a guitar) to accompany whoever is singing. Singing may help individuals be calmer. It makes people precisely the type of buddy you want round when the going will get tough. Want to be the best singer on karaoke evening?

#강남유흥 #술집추천 #노래방

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rinnnyxr · 3 years

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About my day | Bold what is also true for you :

I woke up around 8AM.

I woke up without an alarm. I woke up nude.

I woke up and drank water immediately.

I checked my phone right when I woke up. I checked my TikTok notifications.

I checked my Facebook notifications.

I then checked my email.

I then went downstairs. I got dressed to go out.

I was in the passenger seat of the car today.

I wore a hat today.

I put concealer on.

I put foundation on.

I put on powder.

I used a beauty blender.

I didn’t brush my hair today.

I wore ugg boots.

I wore jeans.

I wore a zip-up.

I went out to breakfast.

I had 3 cups of coffee.

I had a glass of ice water.

I had pancakes.

I had a bagel.

^ with cream cheese.

I saw friends today.

I saw my boyfriend today.

I saw my goddaughter today.

I gave someone a hug.

I gave someone a kiss.

I pet a cat today.

I uploaded video.

I took a photo today.

I updated that photo to Instagram.

I’m currently listening to music. I’m currently on my laptop.

I’m currently in PJ’s. I’m currently surprisingly comfortable.

I took a shower.

I took a shower but not alone ;)

I have the heat on currently. I wore a bracelet today.

I wore a ring today.

I listened to the radio.

I listened to music on Apple Music.

I didn’t post a Facebook status today. I checked the fridge and saw nothing appetizing. I washed my face.

I used rose water spray on my face.

I used a face moisturizer.

I googled a celebrity. I had cheese and crackers.

I may take a nap soon.

I saw my mom today. I saw my sister today.

I thought about calling my dad today.

I’m not currently wearing socks.

I’m not alone in the room currently.

It’s windy out today. It hailed out today.

I’m really thirsty.

I’m too lazy to get up and get myself a drink right now.

I paid for something with cash today.

I thought about cleaning my room but didn’t…

I listened to God’s Plan by Drake today.

I didn’t blow-dry my hair today. I’m gonna play video games soon.

I’m going to take some more surveys after this. I drank something out of the carton today.

I’m not leaving the house for the rest of the day.

I can see my pet from where I am currently.

There is a TV to my right.

There are headphones to my left.

It’s Sunday today.

I have work tomorrow.

I got in a small argument today.

I told someone I loved them today.

1. had sex? 2. bought condoms? 3. gotten pregnant? 4. failed a class? 5. kissed a boy? 6. kissed a girl? 7. used a little paper bag for lunch? 8. had a job? 9. slipped on ice? 10. missed the school bus? 11. left the house without my wallet? 12. bullied someone on the internet? 13. sexted? 14. had sex in public? 15. played on a sports team? 16. smoked weed? 17. smoked cigarettes? 18. smoked a cigar? 19. drank alcohol? . 20. watched “The Breakfast Club”? 21. been overweight? 22. been underweight? 23. had an eating disorder? 24. been to a wedding? 25. made fun of someone for being fat? 26. been on the computer for 5 hours straight? 27. watched tv for 5 hours straight? 28. been late for work? 29. been late for school? 30. kissed in the rain? 31. showered with someone else? 32. failed my drivers test? 33. ran a mile in less than 10 minutes? 34. been outside my home country? 35. been on a road trip longer than 5 hours? 36. had lice? 37. gotten my heart broken? 38. had a credit card? 39. been to a professional sports game? 40. broken a bone? 41. been unhappy about my weight? 42. won a trophy? 43. cut myself? 44. had an STD? 45. got engaged? 46. been on a diet? 47. tried out to be on a tv show? 48. rode in a taxi? 49. been to prom? 50. played a drinking game? 51. stayed up for 24 hours or more? 52. been to a concert? 53. had a three-some? 54. had a crush on someone of the same sex? 55. been in a car accident? 56. had braces? 57. learned another language? 58. killed an animal? 59. been at a yard sale? 60. been to a Japanese steakhouse? 61. wore make up? 62. talked to someone via webcam? 63. lost my virginity before I was 16? 64. had my wisdom teeth taken out? 65. kissed someone a different race than myself? 66. snuck out of the house? 67. bought porn? 68. had a virus on my computer? 69. had oral sex? 70. dyed my hair? 71. gone skinny dipping? 72. graduated from college? 73. wore someone else’s clothes? 74. voted in a presidential election? 75. rode in an ambulance? 76. rode in a helicopter? 77. caught the stove on fire? 78. got in a verbal fight? 79. met someone famous? 80. been on vacation? 81. been on a boat? 82. been on an airplane? 83. broken something expensive? 84. had surgery? 85. kissed someone before I was 14? 86. beat a video game? 87. found something valuable on the ground? 88. made a survey? 89. stalked someone on a social network? 90. prank called someone? 91. spent over $100 shopping in one day? 92. been to a library outside of school? 93. cut my hair and hated it? 94. peed outside? 95. went fishing? 96. helped with charity? 97. taken a pregnancy test? 98. been rejected by a crush? 99. been suspended from school? 100.broken a mirror?

2008 was a horrible year for me. Actually, it was the best. I’ve been on a cruise before. I like chemistry more than biology. I like taking surveys more than making them. I absolutely despise the color pink. I don’t have a significant other. I get all four seasons where I live. I only shop when I absolutely have the need to. I have an older brother. I have my driver’s license. I don’t want to have kids someday. I wear more jeans than skirts. I’d rather wear sneakers than high heels. I don’t go to church. I don’t like having my fringe in my face. I’m very much into heavy metal music. I own like, a hundred hoodies. I couldn’t draw to save my life. I’m a very good cook. I always have to look at the keyboard when I type. I’ve had surgery before. I don’t mind getting shots all that much. I’m not afraid of bugs. I love hot, hot weather! I have huge eyes and long lashes. I’m naturally very pale. I’m usually not very picky at all when it comes to food. My parents are divorced. I don’t like doing surveys, but I find myself doing them anyway. I’m addicted to Tumblr. I don’t have a Facebook account. I have perfect vision and don’t need glasses or contacts. I don’t wear makeup when I go out. I hate stores like Forever 21. I’m very much into sports. I don’t see what the big deal about photography is. Or fashion design. I don’t really appreciate art that much. Horror movies are my favorite. I don’t care if people cut in line in front of me. I don’t even remember the last time I put on a piece of jewelry. My hair is naturally straight. I support gay marriage. I have more friends online than I do in real life. My siblings are all older than I am. My significant other is younger than I am. I curse in almost every sentence I speak. I always get straight A’s in exams. I don’t know how to play any instrument. I only know how to speak one language. I don’t have my own personal blog. I’m allergic to something. I’ve been stung by a bee at least once in my life. This is the last survey I’m doing today. I have seen someone propose in public before. And they got rejected, poor bloke. I wonder if I will ever get proposed in public. Heck I don’t even know if I’ll ever get married. I know what a sake bomb is. I’ve tried it before. I’ve watched ‘Paris Hilton’s My New BFF’. ^ Ew, sad much? I think Paris Hilton is a brainless bitch. I celebrate Chinese New Year. I’m not Chinese or a tiny bit Asian at all. I have a step-sibling. I have a weak tolerance of alcohol. Are you kidding me? I can drink all night long! I want a new cell phone. I have my own bathroom. I sleep on a single bed. Nah, I have a King/Queen size bed! I think one night stands are no biggie. ^ Slut ^Prude I’ve been on a helicopter before. I’m actually afraid of heights. My date rented a limo to take me to prom. Pfft, I wish I had a date. I haven’t had my prom yet. I like clicking on advertisements. Pop-up ads are so old school. I recently took a bath. I never bother, I just take showers. My Christmas holidays were the bomb! Ugh, mine sucked like hell. I’d love to go to Japan one day. I’ve seen a ghost before. ^ I’d pee in my pants if I did. ^ No, I’d run and scream. I can write lyrics! I can, but I’m not very good at it. I would like to become a musician one day. I love finding things in sofa cracks. I know someone that’s trying very hard to fit in a stereotype. Every cup of water I drink equals to a trip to the toilet. I recently received my exam results. They were quite good! Nope, failed it all. It’s my boyfriend’s birthday today. He never gives me gifts. He buries me with them. I wish I had a boyfriend that actually spends money on me! I love him very much. The Beatles rock my world. Actually, a lot of classic rock bands rock my world. It takes me a really long while to get to sleep. I’m a personality quiz fiend. I am and have always been a night owl. I love reading Sarah Dessen books. My earphones are in my ears practically 24/7. I am an only child and that’s not because of any death. I hate school and everything else connected to it. I’ve never been in any romantic relationship. I have a lot of favorite names. And I plan to use those names on my kids. I’m reading a comic book right now. I’m listening to music right now. I memorize lyrics really easily. But memorizing stuff for school isn’t easy at all. Math is my worst enemy. I love bolding surveys. Nice and easy. I pick Guitar Hero over Rock Band. I really don’t mind being all alone.

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deniseellendance · 3 years

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Dancing Together & Silvestre Technique Workshop!

SO many things! This is going to be a long one...

First: Please see the schedule above for our month of DANCE through December! We are shifting to Tuesday afternoons SOON. You may not see it reflected just yet on MindBody, but plan to DANCE this Tuesday at 4:30 PM!

And NEXT: My BIG Announcement!

On Saturday, December 19th (this is actually the day after my birthday!) from 9:00-11:00, my INCREDIBLY talented & life-giving dance masters in Brasil are coming to US to SHARE the Técnica Silvestre!!!!!!!!! SAY WHATTTT?!?!?! Oh, it's happening!

For those who may not know, I was first introduced to the Silvestre Technique by visiting artist, Tika Morgan, in the Spring of 2018. If you have experienced the Silvestre Technique with Tika (it's always the last workshop of her residency, which would happen on Sunday mornings), you KNOW the immense impact it instantly has. Emotions flow... and as you likely remember, I ALWAYS cry. There is tremendous inspiration, visualization, embodiment, expression, the list goes on...

Ever since that first experience, I KNEW there was SO much more for me to discover, and I my instincts told me that the Silvestre Technique was the modality in which I would unleash those discoveries.

Fast forward from 4/2018 to 10/2019... my dream of intensive study of the Silvestre Technique was actualized and my flight was booked for January. This was a BIG deal... the intensives only happen 2x/year, and I WAS GOING!

This past January of 2020, through the love & support of DW, I spent 3 weeks in Salvador, Bahia, Brasil to train with the masters in their January Intensive. I SWORE I would NEVER spend another January in Jackson for the rest of my life (Joke's on me! Thanks, COVID!). HA! Though, in my favor & because of COVID, my study has continued with my masters online via Zoom DAILY since coming home. SUCH A GIFT... I will try to put into words, but it can't possibly translate my full gratitude.

To say that my life was forever changed is HARDLY scraping the surface. BECAUSE of this work, the entire trajectory of my life changed after coming home at the end of January & I grew, & continue to grow, in SO many ways:

- I finally was able to say out loud that my very safe and secure 9-5 job was not the best way for me to fully utilize my gifts. And during a global pandemic, I moved on from truly great employment & started my own business so that DANCE could once again have its place in my life.

- I made MASSIVE gains in the state of my mental health & journey of self-love. Though, I will reiterate... ALWAYS a journey!

- I stepped away from the mindset of thinking that I missed my chance as a dancer and it's just "too late."

- I broke free of always thinking my body isn't strong enough or thin enough, and I don't fit in to the typical "norm" of what a dancer "should" be.

- I excitedly CHOSE every single day to delve deeply into my own embodiment, verticality, movement & expression.

- I began taking classes locally where I previously felt COMPLETELY out-of-place & as though I could never "measure up." I showed up with slightly more grace for myself, and was welcomed with loving, open arms.

- I even danced in a MUSIC VIDEO for the band "The Night Game." WHAT?!?! It's true! So fun!! (If you want to see the video, look up "I feel like dancing" by The Night Game on YouTube)

- And as uncertain as life may be right now, I feel a sense of FREEDOM & TRUST in knowing all will unfold exactly as its meant to!

This is ALL because of the Silvestre Technique. And because they have helped me actualize SO many of my ambitions & dreams, a workshop is being coordinated to support THEM as they actualize theirs! The masters are creating the FIRST EVER Técnica Silvestre School in Salvador, Bahia, Brasil, and they need OUR help!!

SO: COME JOIN US!

Técnica Silvestre Workshop (via Zoom) with the MASTERS

Rosangela Silvestre, Vera Passos, Marcela Botelho, Deko Alves, Tamara Williams & Vanessa

Saturday, December 19th from 9:00-11:00 AM

Suggested Donations: $25-$50

*Please know that no one would EVER be turned away due to funds & any amount is truly appreciated!

(Venmo: @Denise-Faicco)

You DO NOT want to miss this event! Save the date! Spread the word & let's discover!! I CAN'T EVEN WAIT for you all to experience what has transformed me from the inside out! Please let me know what questions you may have.

I love you all. Thank you for reading & for being on this journey with me. Without each of you in this JH dance community, I know I wouldn't feel as much purpose. You give me so much light & hope!

Love, Love, Love Denise

*Follow Me on Social Media* Facebook: Denise Ellen Instagram: @denisefaicco

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moneysourceyt · 4 years

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My Personal Experience With John Crestani’s Super Affiliate System

How It All Started

It all started on one weekend when I was scrolling on my Twitter timeline. My attention was drawn to this one retweet from one of my friends on Twitter. He had retweeted a tweet by John Crestani. I don’t remember much about what exactly the tweet was all about but it was something in the line of “financial freedom” and “making passive income.” I guess I was a little too excited to pay attention to the details.

So, I clicked on the link provided and found myself on what looked like a well-crafted landing page. On this page, John shared lots of information regarding a system that he had discovered and one that he believed could empower beginner and intermediate affiliate marketers.

I wasn’t new to affiliate marketing at that time. The first time I heard of it was back in 2014 when I was doing some online research on how to make money online. After sifting through dozens of scams, I finally managed to sign up for the Amazon Associate program.

Once my account was approved, I simply went to my back-end, picked a few banner codes and pasted them on my blog. At that time, I didn’t know much about targeting the right audience and the need for being niche specific.

So, as fate would have it, my affiliate marketing dream hit a snag. My account was closed within 90 days and that’s because despite delivering some clicks, no one was buying through my affiliate links. To cut the long story short, I completely gave up on the idea of making money online by getting random strangers to make purchases through some goddamn links.

I chose to stick to my day job which to be honest I didn’t like that much. But as any other person looking to pay the bills would do, I had to keep going to the office, deal with numerous client calls and sit in a dimly lit cubicle all day.

So, when I came across John Crestani’s tweet and eventually the landing page, my dream of being independent once again came back to life.

Who Is John Crestani

The reason John grabbed my attention is that he had a story that was almost similar to mine. He was once stuck in a boring day job but unfortunately, for him, he got fired without a clear exit strategy. I can only imagine if I was the one in such a situation. How would I pay my rent? How would I convince my daughter that there was no food in the house or money to keep the AC working?

But John somehow managed to go through it all, effectively building a $500k business from scratch. Having seen it all, John seeks to help you and me learn the tricks and techniques it took him years to master.

I really liked how genuine he sounded but, to be honest, I was still a bit skeptical. That’s because John kept talking about his current affluent life. I even peeped into his Instagram and Facebook pages and realized that he frequently posts photos of himself standing next to Lamborghini’s. Why do you need a Lambo to sell a $47 course?

I am not a fun of marketing tactics that involve showing off what one owns or drives. If anything, it’s always possible to rent a Lambo and fool people on social media that it’s all yours.

In my opinion, if John could spare us all the stuff about his personal life, he can be a bit more convincing and authoritative. Otherwise, one might mistake him for a scammer despite the fact that he’s selling a really good course.

How It Works

So, I started out by signing up for the Internet Jetset program. It’s a subscription-based service which goes for $47. This program comprises some awesome lessons for beginners. In particular, it walks you through some awesome ways to generate valuable traffic without spending a dime.

These are strategies that other marketers hardly talk about. And even if they talk about them, they hardly bother to get into the details as John does.

The lessons are presented in video format. John narrates everything using screen recordings. This makes his courses pretty easy to follow. In fact, you can do everything he says as he narrates to you and that’s because it’s possible to pause the videos and resume when necessary.

What I didn’t like, however, is that it’s not possible to “fast-forward” the videos. So, if you’re already familiar with whatever John is talking about at any given moment, you’d have no alternative than to still listen to it. This can be quite annoying and time wasting.

Also, I don’t know if it’s just me or that John talks really slowly. Some of the lessons could have been 30 minutes but he talks rather slowly and a good number of them go up to 45 minutes in length. The upside is that you get some highly detailed and in-depth training no matter your level of skills.

Also, the Internet Jetset courses are divided into tiny, little portions. Ideally, you should take 1 module per week meaning you’d need several weeks to finish the entire program. Fortunately, you don’t have to finish it for you to start making real cash. You can start using your skills to get the systems up and running. For instance, you can use the skills learned within the Google Free Traffic Module to tap into the power of SEO.

The Upsells

The Jetset is pretty affordable at $47 per month, so what’s the catch? Well, the catch is that you’ll constantly receive emails from John enticing you to buy one of the premium packages on offer. For instance, if you’re already enrolled in the Internet JetSet program, you’ll constantly be enticed to go for the Super Affiliate program which goes for close to $1,000.

There’s also the JetsetLIVE webinars package that goes for $97. You’ll also find the JetSet Xtreme Members course which goes for $187.

I accidentally subscribed to the JetSet Xtreme Members course when I clicked on the link out of curiosity. And instead of being taken to a check out page, I got a message reading “Thank you for purchasing the Jetset Xtreme Members” course.

My Thoughts on the JetSet Xtreme Members Course

This is a platform full of pre-recorded videos of other affiliate marketers who have used this system to successfully make money. The course also provides you with links to third-party tools that you can use to make purchases. At first, I thought these were free tools but upon clicking on them I realized they belonged to other companies and you had to pay up to use them.

So, in my opinion, while the JetSet Xtreme is full of value especially if you’re looking to learn from the experiences of other affiliate marketers, it doesn’t really provide you with free tools. Just a bunch of affiliate links to other services.

I did not find this part of the program to be worth the $187 they charge for it. And for that reason, I claimed my money back. Fortunately, John kept his word and I got back all the money I had accidentally spent on this upsell.

I really liked the fact that the company is made up of honest people. It’s rare to come across companies that are willing to refund money nowadays – so two thumbs up to the Super Affiliate System team.

My Thoughts on the $997 Super Affiliate System (SAS)

While the Internet Jetset program focuses on the free sources of traffic, the SAS shows you exactly what you need to do to leverage on paid traffic methods. In my opinion, the $997 you pay for this course is worth it but only if you’re willing to sit down and learn the tricks. It won’t work like magic.

You see, everyone can place an advert on Facebook, Instagram or even Google Adwords. But if you ask around, you’ll realize that most of those ads don’t convert. It doesn’t matter how much you invest in the course unless you really understand the psychology of the buyer, you’d end up making shots in the dark.

The good thing with paid traffic is that it works almost instantly. That’s unlike the free traffic methods which take months or even years to materialize. So, if you don’t have the time to build dozens of backlinks and implement other SEO tasks for your site to rank (which normally takes years), this strategy enables you to start making money immediately.

And the best part is that besides exposing you to the language of paid affiliate marketing, the SAS course also provides you with 3 core skills. These include:

Copywriting

Data analysis

Research

In general, the SAS is an 8-week course which comprises 50 hours’ worth of content. It also contains lots of additional resources that can help complement your unique strategy.

Week One – The System Setup

This section of the training mainly comprises stuff to do with creating a website, setting up a presell page and rolling out Facebook ads.

Week Two – Understanding the System

Introduces you to the core skills of online business. It also aims to help you unlock a super affiliate mindset so you can profit from different situations.

Week Three – Marketing Skills

How do you get people to click on your ads and convert? As we all know, it takes an expert to hack this. Luckily, those skills are provided within this section of the training.

Week Four – Facebook & Google Ads

Facebook and Google have more than 2 billion active users per month. So, if you were to get a piece of this pie, chances are that you’d make some pretty huge bucks as well. And that’s what John Crestani does in week 4 of his training.

Week Five – Native & YouTube Ads

Ever thought of leveraging the power of native ads? Basically, native ads are ones that are included within a media format. For instance, you can include such ads on your webpage content and so forth. Besides that, you’ll also get to learn how to do YouTube Ads and so forth.

Week Six – Scaling and Outsourcing

Once you have the skills needed to make the first dollars, you’ll need to find ways to grow and expand your trade. Using the tidbits shared in the 6-th week of this training, you’ll be able to outsource and automate quite a number of tasks so you can focus on growing your business.

Week Seven – More Ad Campaigns

Most people usually limit themselves to Google and Facebook. But did you know that there’s a lot of unused potential on platforms like LinkedIn and Bing? In this module, you’ll be able to learn about all that plus a lot more.

Week Eight – Implementing the System

If you’re wondering which ad network to join and which niche to embrace, this is the module you’ll need to take. It’s a highly advanced section of the training that helps you decide the direction you want your online business to follow.

My Results

After going through this program, I’d like to admit that I learned quite a lot. Most importantly, I was able to re-apply for the Amazon Associates program and got accepted. I have been making quite some bucks over the last few years. One of my sites rakes in $1500 while the other one brings about $2000 per month.

My goal is to scale these two sites up – I know there’s potential to make $10,000 per site (per month) with more content and a stronger SEO presence. But that might take time. For now, I appreciate the fact that the investment I made in the Super Affiliate System is now paying back.

The Pros & Cons

Pros

Easy to use

Contains tons of useful advice

Relevant information provided

Well thought out curriculum

John is a good trainer and he takes time to explain different points

They offer a genuine money back guarantee

Pre-built templates for ads

Cons

Customer support only available via email

Quite a few optional upsells included

Frequent emails were sent to market their upsells

Final Thoughts

The Super Affiliate System by John Crestani is not without its flaws. But that doesn’t mean that it’s bad. In fact, as long as you’re willing to learn and implement its contents, you can truly benefit from it. I personally would recommend it to any person looking to make genuine cash in the vast online markets.

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monikea · 5 years

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Norma Jeane Baker of Troy

[Disclaimer: this is not a review. I’m not a reviewer and have no idea how to write these; this is just a note to myself that I will be able to read when I’m 60 years old and which I share here, as paper might burn but the Internet never forgets :D]

Norma Jeane Baker of Troy, The Shed, NYC, 12-19 May 2019

New scene

Enter Ben Whishaw as Norma Jeane Baker

I’m not sure what to focus on here – the play or the fact that I FINALLY WENT TO NEW YORK. This past week was so full of, well, everything to me. I always dreamt of leaving Europe for a trip, but only recently managed to save money for that. I have been tremendously sad not to be able to see Ben in ‘The Crucible’, to the point that during the last show I sat on a beach in Spain and couldn’t focus on how lucky I was to be on a beach in Spain – all I wanted was to be in the Walter Kerr Theatre.

The funny thing is, if I were now to choose between ‘The Crucible’ (I saw a recording of it in NY Public Library last week) and NJBoT, I’d choose Norma Jeane without thinking twice. I saw this play 7 times in a row which, I think, speaks for itself.

In the end, I was so lucky as to go to NYC for 10 days with my Ben family, as I like to think of them, people who I know from Ben’s Facebook fan group. I will never take it for granted and it wouldn’t have been the same without them. To go to New York, for over a week, with my best friends, to see Ben Whishaw 7 times in a mind-blowing play – I still don’t know what I did to deserve it. I won’t name them here, as I’m not sure they wish to be mentioned, but one of them kindly offered to host some of us, and I was even more lucky to stay in a real Manhattan flat. In all fairness, this is what made the entire trip possible – or at least what made seeing Ben 7 times in a row from up close possible!

The pace was rather insane. Last time I slept so little was 10 years ago when I went on a summer camp to Portugal, where I was going to sleep at 6am and waking up at 8am to go to work. Just being in New York didn’t allow me to rest. Finally, after so many years of hoping, I was in the city of my dreams, a city where I could name all the buildings and streets without ever being there, just because everyone does know them right? After all, we are being bombarded with images of New York through different movies, series, songs, books. And this place actually does exist and is not just a Hollywood creation. We started every day bright and early (thanks to the time difference it felt like waking up at 12pm) and went off to see the city. Then, every night, we took subway 7 to Hudson Yards to go to The Shed. The only night we didn’t do it was Monday, when there were simply no performances – but trust me I’d have gone if they took place.

That’s enough about Fritz Lang and the city.

The first time we saw the play (12 May) I sat very far, I believe it was the 4th row from the back. Since I then saw it 6 more times, it wasn’t a massive loss, but overall I’d say two things: 1/this play had to be seen from close up, as the lightning was so dim, otherwise you wouldn’t see what happened on the stage and 2/ this play had to be seen multiple times. I truly believe seeing it just once wasn’t enough. It wasn’t like Shakespeare that everyone kind of knows and knows what to expect. I like to compare this play to Hamilton, which is my obsession number 2 (after Ben), where the text is so rich and full of references and innuendos, that it is actually best to come see the show already knowing the lyrics and backstory from listening to the soundtrack. Same happened here, the language or the text worked alongside the actors and I think if you just saw the play once, it wouldn’t make much sense and you’d miss a lot of its beauty. I was already familiar with the story of Marilyn before seeing it (although I did some extra research, read Euripides’ ‘Helen’ etc.), but I heard some people didn’t even know that Marilyn’s real name was Norma Jeane – good luck with that! Anyway, I digress. As we sat very far, I remember I had to lean forward and really strain my eyes to see what was happening. I could barely notice Ben painting his fingernails (it was more that I already heard he was doing it, which made me notice – otherwise it was too dark to see!) or couldn’t get the details of his lingerie or dance. The sound wasn’t bad, but I’d say in this play the visuals are equally important and I completely missed that part. So I spent the first performance pretty much hoping that the next one – where I was supposed to sit closer – would already come.

About 30 minutes after the show has finished, we spotted Ben coming down the escalator. We actually chose deliberately to go on that day (12 May) as that’s when we expected (and weren’t wrong 😉) that he’d win a BAFTA for his performance as Norman Scott (Norma, Norman… his best roles, trust me) in A Very English Scandal. He was alone and about to leave the theatre, but had a while for us – we congratulated him on the BAFTA, to which he just said ‘thank you’ (I’m quite sure he himself got to know about it only minutes beforehand) and then I talked to him about NJBoT, which was the first time that I managed to talk to him about the show at hand. All the previous times I met Ben, I was talking to him about his previous shows or just telling him general thanks. I don’t remember exactly what I said that Sunday, but it surprised me that I managed to say something about Norma. Most importantly, I asked if I can hug him and he just said ‘sure’ and my biggest dream came true and I hugged Ben for a while . He is the sweetest, kindest human being and has so much patience for his fans.

For the second performance, in the end with my friend we decided to exchange seats for even closer ones, as we didn’t want to go through the pain of seeing so little again. Oh Greek gods, what a difference did it make. I finally saw what was happening on stage! On Tuesday it still wasn’t the 1st or 2nd row, so couldn’t see Ben’s face very well, but oh my. I suppose here I will start my general thoughts about the play, irrespective of the day I saw it, as from Wednesday onwards I was sitting pretty much always in the 2nd or 1st row (just once – will get back to that). If I were to describe all remaining 6 performances in detail, this would become a book, not a Tumblr note and not sure anyone would even read it!

This play was everything my poor heart could hope for. Ben finally plays the main role (which is even more prominent since there are only 2 actors on the stage) and there is nothing to take your attention away from him. Renée only emphasizes his powerful presence on stage and in fact one of my impressions after seeing the play and having read it was that they both play the same person. After all, Norma says ‘I am my own chorus’ – and Renée was her chorus. Reflecting her/his thoughts (I will continue using the pronoun ‘his’ as in the text the character is designated as Norma Jeane, but on stage I think Ben played a male playwright, who only gradually becomes Norma), never negating anything, but giving him new ideas, as if they were formed in his brain and took a tangible form as Renée. I think there can be many interpretations here, but I particularly like this one, also because in the text of the play only one character is mentioned – Norma Jeane. Renée’s character isn’t mentioned anywhere in the text and was obviously added just to make it more stage friendly. It was really hard for me to take my eyes away from Ben throughout the play, but when I finally managed to do it, it was amazing to see how they exchanged looks and this interplay of emotions was what made it even more amazing.

The play tells a story of a playwright who creates a replica of Marilyn Monroe out of himself – both visually and mentally. He is mourning her and hires a scribe to write down his stream of consciousness about Norma Jeane. He gradually drops his own male clothes to put on the entire Marilyn attire, which is a beautiful… replica of what was worn back in the 50s (the longline peach corselette and matching panty girdle – not for the faint hearted!) together with Marilyn’s white fluffy mule heels, later on changed to her Seven Year Itch strappy sandals and the iconic white dress (there is an additional layer of white underwear that Ben puts on the girdle); ultimately he wears also the platinum white Marilyn wig. On the mental side, he gradually descends into the depths of Hades and ultimately kills himself, like Marilyn did. In the meantime, he plays ukulele (just like Marilyn), has numerous mental breakdowns, perfectly imitates her delicate dreamy voice (and that of Truman Capote), mocks Arthur Miller’s dimpled white buttocks and dances the entire sequence from ‘The Prince and the Showgirl’ (see here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOkv4jV1-Bo) – more about that dance later on. One remark here – this play spoke so much to me because since I remember I always took style inspiration from my favourite bands and later on actors – even now I proudly wear my black Kanken, inspired by Ben. So yes, I completely understand Ben’s character here. He also adds the breasts, hips and bum padding underneath his lingerie (and moves like a ballerina) and here I must brag, but a kind message to all people who LAUGHED mockingly at it – please go back to primary school and… just stay there. There are two actors, who, in case you don’t realise are real people and laughing off at what they do onstage is just horrible. In case you laughed out of embarrassment, fine, I get that not everyone has to be comfortable with Ben Whishaw applying fake butt under his undies, but for god’s sake, please express it differently than by laughing and commenting. Or laugh internally. Or I don’t know. Good lord. And no, that wasn’t a moment which was supposed to make you laugh, like for example Ben imitating Capote’s voice.

There is this beautiful moment, about 30 mins after the show begins when Ben plays the ukulele and sings ‘I am that Persephone, Who played with her darlings in Sicily, Against a background of social security. Oh what a glorious time we had. Or had we not? They said it was sad. I was born good, grown bad.And isn’t that how it always starts, this myth that ends with the girl ‘grown bad’?, and Renée continues: ‘She’s in a meadow gathering flowers twirling her own small sunny hours’. (I might be a barbarian, but I truly don’t understand people who were like – wow, he dared sing on the same stage as Renée Fleming! – I am a newborn Renée Fleming fan, but come on people. He’s Ben Goddamn Whishaw :D). Suddenly the mood changes dramatically, when everything becomes dark and Ben says in a sinister voice ‘When up rides a man on black horses. Up rides a man in a black hat. Up rides a man with a black letter to deliver’… I don’t know how he does it but in this moment I see Hades in a black robe (yet Ben is still in his peach corset) who came to do something unforgivable. The entire story changes then, when Renée exclaims ‘rape’. ‘Rape is the story of Helen, Persephone, Norma Jeane, Troy’ they continue. Renée then sings ‘War is the context and God is a boy. Oh my darlings, they tell you you’re born with a precious pearl. Truth is, it’s a disaster to be a girl. Up came the black horses and the dark King. And the harsh sunshine was as if it had never been. In the halls of Hades they said I was queen’. That’s what they always say, isn’t it?

She sings it again just at the end of the play when Ben’s Norma Jeane dies and at that point I wasn’t crying, I was ejecting bodily fluids. Apologies to those sitting around me.

Back to Ben’s dance. This play is full of what in Polish I’d call ‘smaczki’ – little flavours that make this play the most tasty dish ever served. Ben’s voice changes, whenever he imitates someone; Renée’s gorgeous singing; the music which was composed uniquely of Renée’s mixed voice; the funny moments, which can so suddenly and unexpectedly turn into the most frightening scene, when in the middle of mocking Arthur of New York and Sparta, a phone rings and everyone is terrified. There’s an enormous amount of language play (language is a third actor on the stage, with gorgeous explanations of the etymology of Greek words – in fact, Ben has an English-Greek dictionary on the desk), there’s Ben playing ukulele and singing, there’s putting on makeup, there’s changing clothes, there’s shouting and throwing things around and then there’s the dance.

My god what Ben can do. WHAT THIS MAN CAN DO. He is so ethereal, lithe, yet with well-toned muscles and he suddenly starts to give this beautiful coy dance, where throughout he hides his face in charming embarrassment and smiles sweetly to Renée. This is one of the moments when I am almost angry that I have to translate my soul, as it would be so much easier to find perfect words for this in Polish, but at least my head is full of them. Writing about this dance (or this play) is anyway as futile as dancing about architecture. Ben looks perfect then, he is just perfection personified. With his little smile, his peach corselette (some other note here on Tumblr said that ‘Ben Whishaw should just exist in this corset’ and yes, he should), his bottle green male pants and the fluffy heels (the connection of the female corselette and the male suit pants is just… send firemen). On top of that, Renée sings like an angel and my brain is so overstimulated from listening to all those language games and being in New York to actually experience it that… (where are the firemen?!)…

But the thing is – and that’s why this play is so amazing – that when you actually find the superhuman power in yourself not to focus on Ben’s dance only, but to also listen to the song they play to it, your brain suddenly registers that something doesn’t fully stick – the music is super cheerful (note: it is not the same music as the one in Marilyn’s video from ‘The Prince and the Showgirl’) – it’s a typical 50s song with blurred voices, but the text is rather morose and it goes like ‘Dirt is matter out of place, matter out of place. A poached egg on your plate at breakfast is not dirt. The poached egg on page 202 of the Greek lexicon in the library of the British Museum is dirt. Dirt is something that has crossed a boundary it ought not to have crossed. Dirt confuses categories and mixes up form’ (I researched a bit and there’s an entire book on this topic, ‘Purity and Danger’ by Mary Douglas, where the main point being analysed is that what is regarded as dirt in a given spot is any matter out of place. What was considered clean in Sparta, wasn’t clean in Troy and vice versa. That’s the gist. Anne Carson I love you.)

Noone cries like Ben Whishaw. It really hurts all parts of my body to watch this. And it is so beautiful to watch Renée being concerned about him and the state he found himself in. One of the most beautiful scenes in the play is when Ben sits down at his desk and Renée very delicately takes his head in her hand and applies the fake eyelashes to his eyes, singing in a way that makes my heart break. There is so much love in this scene and acceptance and will of help and saying: I’m here for you and I will go with you on this journey.

And then suddenly you see he starts to take the pills and swallowing them with the fake theatre champagne and that’s when I start ejecting bodily fluids again. Renée comes back with her ‘Up came the black horses and the dark King. And the harsh sunshine was as if it had never been. In the halls of Hades they said I was queen’.

I suppose this text I wrote now will never be finished as memories and new realisations will keep on coming back to me and that’s where the beauty of this play lies – it’s an endless fishing ground for references and innuendos, interpretations and new things to be understood. But, enough for now.

I talked to Ben 3 more times after the play, on 14, 17 and 19 May. I now barely remember what I said precisely, but on Tuesday I told him how utterly enchanted I am by this play and that it talks about so many important things to me and doesn’t seem strange at all. Sunday was mad, as one can expect after the end of a run, with a long queue of fans (I gave Ben bright red roses, thanked him for the umpteenth time and complimented his new shirt, which he bought on Friday – don’t ask how I know it, I’m just a very careful observer LOL. He is my style guru, so I had to haha). With my friend we even managed to chat to the CEO of The Shed, Alex Poots, who was so amazed that we saw Norma Jeane 7 times, that he took out his iPhone and asked us to record a video where we recommend the show (bit late for that on the last night, but he can rest assured that I will be back!).

But Friday was just something else. Perhaps it was the power of red wine or the fact that Ben was going home alone and not with Mark or friends, but we approached him together with quite a few other fans and I swear to god, we had the funniest ever chat with him. To put it briefly, Ben was surrounded by around 10-15 fans and chatting to us in a very lovely, cheeky way (I love his sense of humour. I love everything about him, but that night it was just too much). Like imagine it. Someone asked him ‘Ben, what is the perfume that you wear?’ and he goes ‘Oh, it’s this, wait, I’ll show you’ and he took the perfume out of his tote bag and demonstrated it to everyone, gaining a round of ‘Awwwwwwww’. I still can’t believe it happened haha. One of my friends asked if he saw and liked Bjork and they chatted a bit about it and then Ben asked us if we did see her too, to which I replied ‘no, because we saw ANOTHER SHOW’. I could see that he was thinking and then suddenly it clicked, but I guess by that time he was perfectly aware that some of us saw it 7 times haha. He also told us ‘Don’t sit again in the first row, I can see you all’ (that’s what I meant when I said I will get back to the issue of sitting in the 1st row :D). Sweet lord. Best week of my life.

Exeunt omnes singing.

#normajeanebakeroftroy #BenWhishaw #reneefleming #theshed #nyc #annecarson #marilynmonroe #arthurmiller #helenoftroy #persephone

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