#best version of me so far

[crazycrackersworld]

Well I do believe it's safe to say that if you continue growing as a person you learn something new everyday. You learn at least one new thing everyday, sometimes more than one new thing but he always learn something new everyday.

And today, I have learned that I am one of many mistakes that need to be reflected on. So I'm a mistake that's nice to know I suppose.. honey I'm sure that person will say that that's not what they meant but it's how I see it based on decisions that have been made I see myself as the mistake. Because in my way of looking at things you don't stay with the non mistake you know and then just reflect on the mistake so just something to think about.

Now my mom got pregnant when she was 18, and I was born when she was almost 19 no she was 19 I don't know she wasn't 20 yet and the biological father did not stick around. And my entire life my mom has made sure to use the word unplanned when talking about me but let's face it I was a mistake I was born a mistake I was from my very creation I was a mistake.

No don't get me wrong there are some the babies that are in fact unplanned my daughter Katana was unplanned nothing about her has ever been looked upon as a mistake with me and her mom tried you know to stay together and I think sometimes that's the difference, if you know a young couple or it doesn't matter what age if there's a surprise pregnancy in one leaves I think that's an indication that it was a mistake not just on planned.

But I've never taken it personally and I've never felt bad about the fact that I am have been and probably will always be a mistake. I mean as much self-hatred and self loathing as I have I'm also quite arrogant and the fact that I honestly do believe that I am better than most people and definitely better than most human beings of the male persuasion. I honestly believe that I am one of the few real men that walk the earth today, the rest are just boys, dudes, bros, guys etc etc. Me I'm a fucking man plain and simple. I am 100%, all meat no filler pedal to the metal balls to the wall 100% man and I think my incredibly insane adopted father all of my uncles on my mother's side and my maternal grandfather for making me a man, cuz I'd hate to be any of those other things.

Now just how long somebody has to reflect on making a mistake like me, that I don't know I suppose it's different for everybody. I never thought that at least in this case that's what I'd be but I've looked at it from every angle and obviously it's what I am.

But I have changed a lot and learned a lot and adapted a lot in the last two and a half years, in fact probably more than at any other point in my life I am heading into being 50 years old and I think this is probably the most complete version of myself that has ever walked this floating Rock in the heavens.

I've never been a big one for forgiveness and I've really become less of one over the last two years forgiving is not my job that's in the realm of god, or the gods, or the cosmos I think it have to be in a very benevolent mood to actually forgive somebody, or it would have to be one of a very small small pool of people.

I have also always said what I meant, and meant what I said, and have been brutally honest to the point of people mistaking me for just being an asshole. And I've noticed that those things haven't really changed so much in the last two years as they've just become more laser focused if something comes out of my mouth I mean it, at least at the time. I mean there were times in my life where I used to use what I called the switchblade serenade, yes totally stole that from the name of a song by an 80s rock band but nonetheless I used to use that and disagreements especially with the opposite sex. The switchblades serenade is plain and simply saying things that you know are going to cut that person to the Bone emotionally you're going to peel back their layers to get to the wrong nerve and you're going to say things for no other reason than to cause them pain I mean whether it's true or not you're saying them for the cut and I've stopped doing that. Do I still occasionally say things that cut people to the Bone yes but now I'm not doing it just to hurt them now I'm saying it because at least at that moment in time I actually mean it and I might mean it the next day and the day after that I might mean it a month from now that doesn't mean I'm always going to mean it but at the time it came out of my mouth I meant it and honestly I don't care one way or the other if it hurts which is also a change. Because I used to do it just because it hurt, I used to do it to cause them emotional pain I used to do it to make them cry and then I would feed off of that pain and I would feed off of those tears and sometimes yeah I'd even laugh at them but that's not the case anymore now I say it only because I mean it and I have no feelings about what it does to them. I don't know if that's a good change or a bad change but it's definitely a change.

I really don't want to talk about this at all to anybody in a real conversation, I'm not going to talk to it with my online therapist I'm not going to talk about it to anybody I'm just putting it out there. And perhaps though I will spend some time reflecting on the fact that I am a mistake or in viewed as a mistake at the end of the day though with the way I've been acting and behaving I'll probably reflect on it and then just not care.

I have finally come to the realization that my opinion of myself is what should and does truly matter in the grand scheme of things. In my opinion of myself is that although I am not by any means perfect, and I am by not any means the nicest person on the face of yours I do know this if I care about you and if I trust you and if you've managed to find that very small room in my heart where I actually let people in, that there's not anything at all legal or illegal that I wouldn't do for you and I think that alone makes me a pretty good person. If you're one of those people it doesn't matter how upset I am at you, how sad, how depressed, how mad you've made me certain things about you and your family health and concerns and things like that Will trump how much anger I have for you I've never been able to do that before and I'm very happy that now I can. And again I think that that makes me better than most people.

I do have to say that this much self-reflection without any comforting liquids other than my apple cider vinegar tonic also impresses me.

#i'm a mistake #self realization #self contemplation #higher truth #best version of me so far

[inkskinned]

it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.

i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.

it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.

#warm up #writeblr #i spent a lot of time picturing our future #how funny to think: in each version of our future #i was never myself #i was someone smarter kinder braver #better adept. #who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me #i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me #people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you. #it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy #the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself: #if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay. #for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing. #and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made #it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'. #a few days ago while i was doing something else #i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized . #you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly. #you said: you're doing this to manipulate me. #you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO #SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me. #i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness #you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.

[anghraine]

It's kind of fascinating to me that towards the end of P&P, Elizabeth has become protective of Darcy and either a) actively tries to insulate him from Situations or b) wishes that she could and gets stressed that she can't.

Darcy deeply loves her and is very ready to do whatever he can to secure her happiness, but narratively, I think the emphasis at the end is very much more on Elizabeth's protectiveness towards him.

It's like:

When Bingley and Darcy first come back to Hertfordshire, Darcy is very quiet and Elizabeth can barely bring herself to say anything—until Mrs Bennet insults Darcy. Then Elizabeth speaks up.

Mrs Bennet enlists Elizabeth to separate Darcy from Bingley with another insult to Darcy. Elizabeth finds this both convenient and enraging.

That day, Elizabeth decides to privately tell Mrs Bennet about her engagement to Darcy, specifically so that Darcy will be spared Mrs Bennet's first unfiltered response.

Elizabeth fiercely defends Darcy's character and love for her, as well as hers for him, to Mr Bennet. She not only says she loves Darcy but that it upsets her to hear Mr Bennet's criticisms of him.

Elizabeth is both relieved by Mrs Bennet's ecstatic reception of the engagement and a bit disappointed by how completely shallow she's being about it, and 100% sure she made the right call in keeping Darcy away.

Elizabeth defends Darcy against Darcy himself, repeatedly.

There's a period where Elizabeth seems to unwind and laugh, but this passes, especially after Charlotte and Mr Collins show up. Darcy manages to stay calm around Mr Collins (I think this is framed as a significant and admirable achievement for him), but Elizabeth does not like him being in a situation where he has to deal with Mr Collins in the first place.

Elizabeth tries to shield Darcy from being noticed by Mrs Phillips and Mrs Bennet, who do seem to make him pretty excruciatingly uncomfortable.

Ultimately, Elizabeth ends up trying to keep Darcy to herself or to shepherd him around to relatives he can handle more easily, and is so stressed at this point that she just wants to get married and escape to Pemberley.

After their marriage, things are actually great at Pemberley and in their married life, despite the occasional complication.

Lydia writes a congratulatory letter to Elizabeth, asking for Darcy to get Wickham a promotion unless Elizabeth would rather not bring it up with him. Elizabeth really does not want Darcy to have to deal with this and handles it by privately setting aside a Lydia fund out of her personal expenses. (IIRC, it's not clear if Darcy even knows about this.)

Elizabeth also is the driving force behind Darcy's reconciliation with Lady Catherine.

This could read as an unsettling, unbalanced dynamic and a very odd ending point for the arc of a woman like Elizabeth, but in the context of the overall novel, it doesn't feel that way. Or maybe I'd see it more that way if I interpreted Darcy (and for that matter, Elizabeth) + their arcs differently? But as it is, I do think that by this point in the story they are genuinely doing the best they can, independently and for each other, and they've both come a long way. They shine in different contexts and support each other as much as they can in the circumstances that do arise.

It seems very them, in terms of their temperament and abilities, that Elizabeth would put all this effort into shielding Darcy, while at the same time, Darcy completely cuts off Lady Catherine for insulting Elizabeth and only ever speaks to her again because Elizabeth wants him to.

#one of the things that really works about darcy/elizabeth for me is how much they're kind of the apotheosis of each other's types #like the people elizabeth is closest to—jane charlotte and mr bennet #are very different people but they're quiet and private and strong-willed and stubborn and intelligent #and darcy is totally the full throttle version of that type #and darcy is obviously drawn to cheerful outgoing lively charisma bombs with minds of their own #(even in his youth this was kind of true w/ pre-villainy wickham) #(then there's fitzwilliam and bingley and elizabeth herself) #and nobody is more peak that type than elizabeth bennet #they're totally each other's types and like. darcy is blatantly ride or die for elizabeth #while end of the book elizabeth is so far from being intimidated or awed by him that she's sweeping in to save him #in a way that i suspect nobody has really attempted for a long time #anghraine babbles #long post #anghraine's meta #elizabeth bennet #fitzwilliam darcy #otp of otps #(obviously this is particularly endearing w/ the autistic!darcy headcanon) #(neither of them could ever know why he's like that and in their society it's probably for the best that they don't know tbh #but they make it work anyway)

[mattodore]

guy whose childhood drags behind him like a dead body

#river dipping #simblr #ts4 #ts4 edit #theodore doe #echthroi #i forgot to post this after sharing theo's birthday edit last night... listen i was so tired i just hit post and passed out #but so far today i've just been looking through character page themes for a bit and messing around with codes while watching dropout tv #i still need to get to my activity feed sometime today or tomorrow and then i want to set aside some time to just hang out on here #and catch up on things like i keep disappearing and missing out on posts jgkhjfnkh so i gotta do that... #but i'm actually fighting off the world's biggest nap rn..... my meds work really well but lord i'm still so tired all the time woof #so i'll probably end up caving soon lmao #but!!! anyway!! THEO!!! there was nothing i could do abt the proportions on theo as a kid like i couldn't make his head any smaller... #the sims team actually hate me so bad and are trying to force the huge cartoonishly big heads onto my sims </3 #also when i aged him down to a kid like all of his presets were gone so i just had to try and replicate them to the best of my abilities #his lip preset actually has a much deeper cupid's bow but thanks to the liquify tool <33333 it looks like his regular preset #i've actually posted teen theo on here before but i've made a ton of changes to him since then so this version is pretty different compared #to the older version of him at sixteen #he's definitely got more baby fat than he did before like his cheeks are pretty round #um. also i have these closeups i took of adult theo from the pose i made for his birthday edit that i gotta edit a lil and then post!!! #bc you really didn't get to see his expression or the actual pose that well and EYEEEE personally am really in love with the details #of the pose itself like ugh.......... theo is so.......................... yeah. #holds him

[iamsanscha]

Finally finished this sucker! Actually no. I’m not done at all. I was lying to myself and to you. Sorry!✨

Angsty Freya completely inspired by the story “Familiar” by MillieMay on AO3!

I couldn’t find a good reference for her tattoos towards her chest/shoulder area so I improvised.

#definitely not finished yet I’m still doing stuff to it🥲 #I love this fic so much! it deserves all the love 💕 #best warflower fic by far (to me) #like​ it’s so plot driven but with the most amazing emotional moments #god of war #god of war ragnarok #freya #warflower #freya gow #fan art #fanfic #freytos #expect another version soon

[batri-jopa]

Compilation of #bird version ATWD :

Final Dance

Kintouri / კინტოური

Adjaruli / აჯარული ცეკვა

Simd / სიმდი

Kvevri / ქვევრი

Papakha / ფაფახი

Sopo / ცანგალა და გოგონა

Brother's Talk

Bird Of Pride

My fanarts of the most beautiful movie: And Then We Danced / და ჩვენ ვიცეკვეთ (2019) dir. Levan Akin

(Blessed by the director himself!🥰)

#bird version ATWD #my art #oh dear do I dare to brag about my own art? OF COURSE I F*CKING DARE! IT'S THE BEST MOST SUCCESSFUL ART SERIES I EVER DID SO FAR!!! #I love how it turned out! Even LEVAN AKIN liked it!🥹 I'm so happy and proud it gives me wings! #and then we danced #და ჩვენ ვიცეკვეთ #atwd #levan akin #georgian movie #georgian traditional dance #gay movie #lgbt movie #rooster #chicken #hen #woodpecker #parrot #peacock #cocks rubbing #a potem tańczyliśmy

[drusill-a]

RTD is so in love with David Tennant that it makes him look stupid, huh.

#listen friends i dont know what to feel #i love everyone involved #I'm so happy that Donna has her memories back and will spend the rest of her life with her best friend by her side #but that ending felt like it was straight out of a christmas Hallmark movie; my teeth ache from all that saccharine sweetness #I'll be able to justify it if RTD is setting the stage for bringing Tennant and Tate into his UNIT spin-off which seems to be in the works #if that's not the reason it's hard for me to swallow this plot twist with the biregeneration #firstly: RTD did something similar at the end of the fourth season—splitting the Doctor to “give” one version to Rose #it's a bit annoying to see him essentially do the same now by letting another version of the Doctor to stay with Donna #secondly: I missed the emotion in this #I spent a week bracing myself for heartbreak but we went a bit too far in the other direction #we got a cutesy ending where everything resolves through a deus ex machina #yet it’s those bitter and grief-soaked moments are what RTD has always excelled at #when it comes to the Doctor's regeneration and farewells to companions #it's hard to feel much about this plot development #some things should remain final and some goodbyes and endings are unavoidable #the conclusion of Rose’s arc (both from s2 and s4) or Donna's ending in s4 #were among the most emotionally intense moments in the history of television #I missed a bit of that here #perhaps if there were more bitterness in the 14th Doctor's ending if he had to pay some PRICE for this biregeneration #(like not getting his TARDIS #being told that the Fifteenth takes over the regeneration ability #and the Tennant Doctor will die of old age) #emotionally it would have provided viewers with a cool punch #without that it seems like RTD wanted to have his cake and eat it too #have a new Doctor and give his old characters a last-minute happy ending that doesn't make much logical sense #I was hoping to feel more considering how much I love these characters #but my main reaction is an eyeroll #on the positive side I really hope to see Neil Patrick Harris in the show again he was a great villain #and Ncuti Gatwa’s Doctor is already so freaking great!!! <3 #doctor who

[cluescorner]

Randomized Robins AU - Ages + Worst Trait Exercise:

Steph (25):

Says her worst trait is her murderous rages (she is exaggerating for dramatic/comedic effect, she’s killed 3 people tops and for very good reason)

Thinks her worst trait is her spitefulness (one of the few traits she definitely got from her father + one that prevents her from fixing her relationships and living her best possible life. She’ll refuse to interact with someone she dearly loves after an argument (happens significantly less after Tim’s death) or will say things she knows are hurtful just for the sake of having the last word. This trait will worsen in some ways as the list of people who have wronged her and those she loves grows, but will also ease up as she matures and realizes the harm it’s doing to her relationships with those she loves most.)

Her worst trait really is her spitefulness

Cass (26)

Says her worst trait is her self-righteousness (she believes that her goals are righteous and, as a result, she is righteous. Cass becomes very defensive whenever someone questions the mission and often does not second-guess herself. This is a trait she only develops later in life as she grows closer to Bruce/learns to understand herself more/starts to love herself more. But she knows she isn’t perfect and when somebody she trusts criticizes something she is doing she is willing to listen. She just usually isn’t the one to START the introspection.) 

Thinks her worst trait is her self-righteousness. 

Her worst trait actually is her obsessiveness (she gets it from Bruce and, while not as bad as him, she will easily become preoccupied with her night-life and the mission if someone isn’t there to pull her back. She will do this to the point of self-destruction and it hurts her relationships with the people she loves, especially Steph.)

Tim (24)

Says his worst trait is his spitefulness (he actively rejects the idea of mending his relationships with the older members of the family and this causes him to also lack good relationships with the younger ones)

Thinks his worst trait is his obsessiveness (similar to Cass, if he gets fixated on a task or idea he will neglect everything else in his life in order to dedicate more time to it. Unlike Cass, he will almost never be dragged away from it unless Pierrot snatches control of the body and forces them to take care of themself.)

His worst trait actually is how manipulative he is (the KING of guilt-tripping and using people’s emotions against them. He’ll do whatever he needs to do to get what he wants, he’s not above crocodile tears. And he will do it to whoever he needs (or wants) to with little care for how his actions impact others.)

Pierrot (Insists: “Age doesn’t apply to me! And even if it did, I'd probably be the oldest. Or the youngest! I’d never be a middle child, though.” Mental assessments by the Bats have put him around 21, with a margin of error of 3 years. Pierrot has called this “blatant character assassination by my eternal rival!”)

Says his worst trait is that he is an irredeemable psychopath without any regard for the wellbeing of others (this is a lie and everyone who's important to him understands this). 

Thinks his worst trait is his parasitic nature (he literally would not exist had Tim not suffered the way he did. Plus he is a living reminder of one of the worst things that happened to many of his loved ones. He is a parasite injected into a functional person's body and contributes to his continued suffering. This is also a largely incorrect judgement of himself, caused by his actual worst trait.)

His worst trait actually is his limited sense of self (he doesn’t really know who he is outside of ‘inheritor to the legacy of the Joker (a man he despises yet also views as a father)’ and ‘chip in Tim’s brain that became sentient’. He slowly develops an identity over the course of his life and relationships with other people, but he lacks the foundations of identity that most people have. Pierrot will often almost become a caricature of himself and what others perceive him to be because it's the only person he knows how to be. This causes wild swings in how he behaves and relates to others, sometimes to the detriment of himself and others.)

Dick (17) 

Says his worst trait is his clinginess (he is a very extraverted person who likes to be around others, which mixed with his fear of abandonment after his parents died means that if he goes a few days without seeing/talking to a friend he will get very anxious.)

Thinks his worst trait is his anger issues (he gets ticked off very easily and will explode on people. He’s kind at his core and is usually very nice, but he has a temper that can escalate significantly. Spoiler (and later Twist) help him channel this anger into something positive.)

His worst trait actually is his anger issues.

Barbara (18)

Says her worst trait is her disability (internalized ableism, she thinks of herself as less valuable than the other Bats because she cannot be out there in the capes like they can. She will grow out of this as she matures and as she learns how invaluable her support for the team is.)  

Thinks her worst trait is her disability 

Her worst trait actually is her overly-independent nature (In an attempt to overcompensate for everything she can no longer do, she has resolved to do literally everything that she possibly can without any help from others. This results in many instances where she either takes on too much and winds up not being able to fully realize any of her tasks or where she makes her life and the lives of others significantly harder by refusing help when offered/not asking for it when she needs it.)

Damian (16)

Says his worst trait is his perfectionism (he is overly critical of both himself and others, taking any flaw or problem and amplifying it to an absurd degree. This is due in part to his life with the LoA (where even a brief misstep could lead to death), in part to how others treated him initially as Spoiler (any flaw was fixated on and used as a reason to either mistrust him or portray him as unworthy of the mantle), and in part due to the fact that he is Bruce’s son (the only person with worse perfectionism problems than Damian). Gradually, Damian has improved in this regard but it’s still a massive barrier to both his own happiness and his relationships with others.)

Thinks his worst trait is his perfectionism 

His worst trait actually is his perfectionism

Duke (16)

Says his worst trait is his definitely-real secret evil side (says this as a ‘my dad is a villain so who knows??’ joke)

Thinks his worst trait is his impulsivity in his words (Sometimes he will crack a joke or say a remark without thinking it through, leading to a LOT of hurt feelings and drama. He’ll say something without thinking it through and wind up seeming insensitive. This isn’t done because of malice, rather because Duke is someone who’s quick to act and speak. But while the mantle of Insight and his awakening powers have helped him with his actions, they do not always help with his loose tongue. As such, Duke gains an unfair reputation in the media as an instigator and will accidentally cause family drama through what he says.)

His worst trait actually is his impulsivity in his words

Jason (14)

Says his worst trait is his bad manners (he grew up on the streets and has no idea how rich-people society works, which he’s pretty insecure about considering he’s now the youngest kid of Bruce freaking Wayne). 

Thinks his worst trait is his reactiveness (Jason never got the privilege of planning ahead for various events in his life, so he instead needed to rely on being swift and harsh in how he could react to situations. It’s saved his life on multiple occasions and helps significantly in his role as Spoiler, but it can also lead to extreme overreactions (accidentally causing kidnapping scare after Jason ran away following a fight with Dick) and a struggle to plan things out ahead of time. As he grows more secure in his place in the family and in life, this trait will lessen but never fully dissipate.)

His worst trait actually is his reactiveness

#stephanie brown #cassandra cain #tim drake #dick grayson #barbara gordon #damian wayne #duke thomas #jason todd #batfamily #randomizedrobinsau #I'm debating whether I should tag this with the Joker Junior tag and those related to it for Pierrot #because like...it's not quite that. but it's also very close to that and is the direct result of that. #but Pierrot would fucking HATE to be tagged as that and sees it as an insult to his identity...which he already has problems with #so I don't think I'm gonna #anyways lmao I am totally projecting my younger self onto Barbara. How could I not? She's literally the reason I view my disability #the way that I do and she actively improved my mental health just by existing and saying some of the shit she did when I was in the #stages of accepting my own disability. So yeah I am projecting a lot onto her because I love her and see myself in her. #I'm mostly basing these characterizations on my favorite versions of them (ie Red Robin 2009 Tim and Birds of Prey Barbara). #so I'm taking the traits I like/think fit in this AU and discarding what I think either is bad or doesn't fit or if I just don't like it. #Damian's 'murder gremlin who is a meanie on purpose because he is a meanie' is entirely unappealing to me and also does not fit this AU #I prefer him when he's portrayed as a sympathetic kid (who is still an asshole) and not a demon child. So that's what I'm using. #same with Talia's 'abusive mother who is totally on-board with all of her father's bullshit and will kill someone for no reason' version #I have read enough comics to know what I like/what is most important and what I don't like/what is #BLATANT CHARACTER ASSASSINATION GRANT MORRISON YOU FUCK YOU SET TALIA BACK SO FUCKING FAR #I also decided to outline their WORST traits because I already know what I like about these characters/their best traits. #most people do. But what was a greater challenge was finding what would make their lives and those of others worse. #what would I hate about this person if I knew them IRL? What would I first suggest they get therapy for? What hurts them and why? #I found these questions really interesting in the context of this AU where some people are forced into completely different roles #the says/thinks/is was inspired by trying to answer that question for myself. I say my worst trait is my impulsiveness but when #I asked others in my life they answered 'oh so you said your weird thing where you don't ask for help right?'

[dykeinthedark]

status: in desperate need of a change

#i've been this ''me'' for far too long that i've been getting bored. i'm going to need to implement so many changes #like i NEED to do things differently. my distaste for dullness trumps my depressive inactivity #a wise man once said Man i'm just tired and bored with myself. #and it's like. i know who i am i just need to refresh myself #go back to my core and then revamp from there... maybe call upon a different true version of myself and synchronize with them #i'm ngl i think this is my sign to call upon my best friend and make up with him . i'm bored of us playing coy about ignoring each other #for those of u keeping up this MIGHT be the end of the saga

[hecksupremechips]

Minor thing that really irks me is when people treat the femc route in p3 portable as like the lesser story or like it’s a fanfic where nothing that happens in it is the “true” canon like. Bitch. The femc and everything that happens in her version of the story is just as canon as the male protagonist and everything that happens in his story. And there’s literally been so many fucking versions of p3 at this point like the base game, fes, portable, the movies, stage plays, reload, as well as spinoffs and manga and they all do things differently. I don’t see anyone acting like the base game is more canon than, say, reload so why do they do this with portable? Why can’t the (infinitely superior) version with the female protagonist just be respected for five fucking minutes goddamn

#persona #persona 3 #kotone shiomi #its the misogyny yay #but god i am so tired of her game being treated as not actually canon like it literally is #theres multiple canons dipshit there is no true version of this game #and also people saying she doesnt fit the theme or some shit like. she literally does??? and honestly she does it better #like you can really feel the love she brings to the group and how she gives everything life and helps everyone #but also just how it all comes with pain she smiles and befriends everyone but shes always been so deeply alone and she doesnt want anyone #to feel the pain shes felt and so she carries all those burdens on her own and when everyone goes to reach out for her #its too late far too late shed sacrifice herself over and over for these people and theyll never once see her cry #she also you know. actually has good social links and gets to know everyone not just people she wants fuck #so you get to see just infinitely better versions of every character with her she really does bring out the best in them #and another thing in particular with the disrespect of her story is the way shinji living is treated again just like #some kinda fanfic au by someone who didnt wanna cope with their blorbo dying like ughh #shinji surviving is just as canon as him dying there is an entire canon where he gets a happy ending and it is once again #much better than versions where he dies like ive. exhausted myself with explaining it but its just better #so yeah basically out of spite i like acting like kotones story is actually the one true canon #and when people mention stuff that isnt in her story im like ‘huh? what? that didnt happen’ #cuz whos gonna stop me

[lenievi]

Les Misérables (2000); episode 3

#of course this would be the end of the third episode to make me want to continue... #episode one was in fact the best one so far but it's not like two and three were bad #soon he's gonna walk into the river 😢 #les miserables #what if i tagged this with #les miserables 2000 #valvert #ETA ep 4: he put down the gun and took out a knife and then ran it from javert's throat down his body before he cut the ropes #and i wish the camera work was more intense. it was fine but you know just a bit more lol #anyway ignore me. i just like the idea behind them (which means i just wanna read some fics later) #even when they're based on different versions. sadly

[arundolyn]

i know i say it like every time i notice some new fuckshit but its crazy like. seeing in motion the weird corner cutty maneuvers they did with makoto in csex and then never went back and fixed or touched up or anything because the way she was added sure seems rushed

#crow.txt #blazblueposting #like its small things but they add up and once you notice them you cant really un notice #she has like 3 different little idle taunt things for if she sits there not doing anything #whereas everyone else has only one #BUT like... hers kinda choppy and dont transition to/from her normal idle stance well #her taunt itself is kinda weirdly lowkey and boring? also REALLY fast probably faster than hakumen and arakune's #theres a lot of points where it seems like frames were skipped like in her win pose where she wags her tail the way she leans down #is kinda choppy and unnatural looking #apparently the b + c versions of asteroid vision. the air ones. the little flip she does? uses frames from her air throw for some reason? #which seems. weird? idk that seems odd its not that uncommon for moves to reuse frames from other moves but thats a weird place to grab fro #and its imo kinda a stark contrast vs anything added post cs like overdrives and crush triggers etc. new moves like sirius jolt #sirius jolt is by far one of the best animated moves she has to me. they convey the like. force? really well #makoto if she wasnt rushed to be added in cs....................... #the like. 8th frame or so of sirius jolt is my favorite makoto frame like ever. she PUNCH

[nostalgia-tblr]

i think the problems in the first thor movie really started in that flashback scene where odin explains that he has two sons but only one throne and then he smiles at them and hands each of them a sword and says "you know what you have to do, boys"

#okay maybe it didn't go EXACTLY like that #but it did IN MY HEART #thor (2011) #brodinsons (battle royale version) #if you make them fight it out then you get the best king :) #or possibly a civil war? #if fandom is going to insist on the Jotun Orientalism thing there should at least be Ottoman Sultanate Succession fic u kno? #a system where people eventually went “you know what? there *is* such a thing as too much fratricide.” #personally i would keep the orientalism minimal by just borrowing the basic system of brother-murder and so on #we know thor (or his mum) is the favourite because he's in Asgard and thus close to the capital for when his dad dies #while poor unloved loki (and his less hot mum) is all the way over in jotunheim. so far to travel to compete for the throne :( #oh no i already see the flaw in this idea - i gave them both mothers! whose actions will make a difference to anything! silly me!

[crazycoven]

holds this scene to my heart forever and ever

#I want to gush about it they fr popped the fuck off here #sanjis VA in the sub bro he sold it HAD ME IN SHAMBLESSS #then the fucking slowed down version of the first OP intro in the background like they were legit trying to kill me #I am LOVING the overarching theme of freedom + friendship it's so simple but amazing #the type of ride or die person luffy is to his crew/friends makes my heart melt sure hes the captain but he doesnt look down or think hes- #better than them it feels like their crew is so equal luffy not giving a damn about the old silly pirate traditions like AHFDJKH HES MY FAV #SHONEN PROTAG SO FAR I CANT HES THE BEST ONE I KDFVGHGKFDSH SORRY NARUTO #the way he wouldn't hit sanji back when he fought him trying to get them to leave the island so he could try to sacrifice himself like bro- #hayden watches op

[kelbunny]

More Pmd x OT2! This time with our favorite group of Eir's Apothecaries (sans Trousseau as me and my little sis have not pinpointed a mon for him yet)

Malaya is a Cincinno, Randy and Andy are a Plusle and Minun, and Elma is a Leafeon.

#octopath traveler #octopath traveler 2 #castti florenz #malaya octopath #Randy Octopath #Andy Octopath #Elma Octopath #If you have any suggestions for Trousseau feel free to leave them #Because so far the best me and my sister have are Spritzee and Skitty #But neither of those feel like they quite fit #I'll probably post a version with Trousseau once I've decided #Plus a few other pmd ot2 doodles haha

[magentagalaxies]

going to a comedy open mic tomorrow mostly to watch my friends (it's at a cool venue that my improv troupe performs at once a month and a few improv troupe friends are doing standup there) but when these friends were asking if i'd be interested in coming they were like "btw there's usually a ton of open spots on show days if YOU want to do something... and they're not strict about it only being standup either, people have done character pieces and sketches etc like they embrace the weirdness... and they're not strict about time limits you could probably do anything between three and eight minutes... sometimes if there's not enough people signed up they'll even let you go twice..." and i'm like god damn it i thought i was gonna take a break from aubrey but this setup is like tailor made for an aubrey appearance lmao

#still on the fence about it bc the burnout i experienced at the beginning of may extended to aubrey #especially bc so much of my aubrey stuff is comedy about gender and my brain was more in ''set everything on fire'' mode #and i think i've gotten to a good place with that burnout but i still haven't worked on any aubrey stuff since i got home from college #but even still even tho my mental health is better than it was a few weeks ago #recently i have had this horrible insomnia where i haven't been able to fall asleep at night in over a week #(i've made up for it with naps but still i am not mentally 100% rn. i've tried so many things and nothing has worked.) #so that's my justification for *not* doing aubrey tomorrow. however. #i reeeally need to get more performance experience bc there's only so much you can develop a sketch character without performing them #and this venue is so good. it's an art gallery like an hour away that's designed to be part gallery and part performance venue #especially for comedy. like the venue owner is this veteran comedian who used to work with bobcat goldthwait and a lot of other big names #and it's a low-pressure environment bc everyone there has seen me do comedy before with my improv troupe #but they still haven't seen me do aubrey at all so it's bringing a new side of my comedy to some of my main collaborators #like this is so much better than my previous aubrey performances bc they were all either #1. shows in CLASSROOMS with a bunch of my classmates who generally don't get my comedy (very clique-ish) #or 2. a guest spot on a show at a coffee shop where everyone knew each other except me #plus the biggest thing for me is the lack of a strict time limit. like as much as having a good 3-minute monologue can be #i think aubrey is a character you need to get to know a bit longer than 3 minutes. and a lot of my stuff is long while also being very tigh #like not every monologue is like this but my best aubrey monologues are almost like aubrey is telling you a sitcom storyline #and removing too many lines makes the whole narrative jenga tower fall over #and as much as i want to figure out how to make every monologue a good starting point #having the chance to perform multiple monologues if i get to go twice so that they can build off each other would be perfect #idk i'm not sure how often the open mics are there. at least monthly tho i might be missing next month's depending on when i'm in toronto #so like this wouldn't really be my only chance. but yeah i'm on the fence about whether to bring aubrey back for a performance tomorrow #i probably wouldn't do new material. i'd do the 5 minute version of my uncle reg monologue bc it's the one that's worked best so far #and if i get to do multiple. maybe i'd do the ''nom de plum'' monologue bc i think it's also very strong #and it has a good callback to uncle reg #but idk i also think doing the song would be very fun and on-theme since it's pride month and the song is a satire of rainbow capitalism #tho i'd probably have to rework the monologue that leads into the song bc even tho i loved the concept i don't think i articulated it well #or i could write an entirely different lead-in and make the previous monologue (''C/H/M'') a separate thing to revise later #which would probably go better and somehow be less work to write. but even so i don't know what the venue's sound setup is