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leupagus · 2 months

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Please note that this fic is going to take the better part of 2024 and probably 2025

(and given my track record might never be done):

Sansa

"Do you like the taste?" asked Littlefinger, watching her closely as she tried the wine. He always watched her closely.

They had stopped at the Inn at the Crossroads; she hadn't wanted to, but she would have had to explain to Littlefinger why. So she had choked down a meal and refused to think about the last time she had come through this way, where the first member of her family had been murdered in the stable while Joffrey had sniveled and lied and shown her, for the first time, who he really was.

"I don't see what all the fuss is about," she answered. "Why do men love it so much?"

Littlefinger shrugged. "It gives some men courage."

"Does it give you courage?"

He smiled, the way he did when she had stung him. He would take his revenge on her somehow, she knew. He was nothing like Joffrey, but there was a smallness to him that reminded her of the king.

The dead king, now.

A flash of armor to her right made her look up; a familiar woman, tall and broad of shoulder in a suit of armor, had approached their table. "Lord Baelish. Lady Sansa. My name is Brienne of Tarth."

Sansa opened her mouth to reply, to tell her she knew who she was, of course she knew. Tyrion had mentioned her often, usually after rebuffing yet another request by the lady of Tarth for an audience with Sansa. I hope you don't mind, and Jaime vouches for her, but Cersei has made it clear she's to go nowhere near you and frankly this giantess makes me a bit nervy. He'd been glad to recount the tale of Lady Brienne and Ser Jaime, traipsing through the Riverlands on their way to King's Landing.

Before Sansa could speak a word, Littlefinger had made some cutting remark, the sort he was so good at. She'd yet to be on the receiving end of any of them but she flinched all the same, watching Brienne's face. Littlefinger was something like Joffrey — and something like herself, too, when she'd been young and pleased at her own wit. Looking back, she knew now that she had only ever been cruel.

Lady Brienne seemed not even to hear Littlefinger; as though he were no more than a gnat to be tolerated until such moment as he could be swatted. She knelt, awkward but not clumsy, and looked earnestly up at her. "Lady Sansa. Before your mother's death, I was her sworn sword. I gave my word I would find you and protect you. I will shield your back and keep your counsel, and give my life for you if needs be. I swear it by the Old Gods and the New."

Would she have given the answering vow? She would never know, because once again Littlefinger was talking, sliding his glance over to Sansa to see what remarks might prompt a reaction. Sansa stayed still and watched as Lady Brienne's attention was at least drawn away, glaring at Littlefinger.

"Strange," Littlefinger was saying. "I knew Cat since the time we were children. She never mentioned you."

"It was after Renly's murder," said Lady Brienne, direct and blunt. She and Sandor would get along well, Sansa thought suddenly. Pity they had never met.

"Ah, yes," said Littlefinger. "You were accused of killing him."

Lady Brienne blushed, a splotchy red spreading across her cheeks. Shame, Sansa thought, but not guilt. "I tried to save him," she spat out. She did not glance over, to see if Sansa would believe her.

"But you were accused."

"By men who did not see what happened."

"And what did happen?"

"He was murdered by a shadow. A shadow with the face of Stannis Baratheon."

"A shadow? With a face?" Littlefinger turned to Sansa, and that was when she knew whatever he was about to say was a lie. "This woman swore to protect Renly. She failed. She swore to protect your mother. She failed." He smirked up at Lady Brienne. "Why would I want somebody with your history of failure guarding Lady Sansa?"

Lady Brienne made a face. "Why would you have any say in her affairs?"

"Because I am her uncle. I married her Aunt Lysa shortly before my beloved's untimely death. We're family now. And you are an outsider. Forgive me, Lady Brienne. But experience has made me wary of outsiders."

She gaped at him, then looked back at Sansa. "Lady Sansa," she said, and paused, as though at a loss for how to convince her. "If we can have a word alone?"

"Yes." Sansa rose, knocking into the table. The goblet of wine spilled and ran down her dress, but she was on her feet at last. The sellswords Littlefinger had brought with him moved in, one of them putting a hand on Lady Brienne's shoulder. She tensed and in just a few seconds there would be bloodshed, there would be someone dead on the floor and it would be her fault.

"Uncle Petyr," she said loudly, her heart rabbiting out of her chest, "Thank you very much for understanding. I will speak with Lady Brienne as you suggest, and then we shall resume our journey."

The sounds of eating and talking died out as faces turned toward her. A round-faced boy came bustling up, a wide, customer-friendly smile pasted on his face. "Is there anything I can help with, milord?" he chirruped.

"A room for the ladies," said Littlefinger, still watching her. She nodded very slightly and his mouth twitched.

"Have you anything on the floor above?" she added, addressing the boy with a nervous glance toward Lady Brienne.

"Er," came the reply, "Yes? Right this way, milady. Miladies."

Sansa leaned toward Littlefinger. He smelled of wine and the oils he used on his hair. "Could some of the guards watch the door?" she whispered. "And some near the stairs. Just…in case."

"Of course," he said, though his eyes were on her mouth.

The way Littlefinger had spoken of her mother, there had been a great rivalry between himself and Ned Stark; and before that a rivalry between himself and her uncle Brandon, who'd been betrothed to Catelyn before his murder. Littlefinger had always sounded like the defeated lover, the man who had nearly won his beloved's hand.

Mother had never mentioned Littlefinger. Father had, once they were in King's Landing and he'd been forced to admit an acquaintance. He'd sounded irritated more than angry; her mother had never loved him, had hardly ever thought of him. Her parents had lived and loved each other and all the while Littlefinger had stewed in his own curdled affections, imagining a love story that had never existed.

She could never decide what had moved her to kiss him on the cheek. Perhaps it had been a clever ploy to distract him, or a way to tell him she would return. She would have liked to have been that clever. But in the moment she could remember only how sorry she felt for him. "I'll just be a few moments," she promised him, lying.

Minutes later she was in a small bedchamber, with two dirty windows on each outside wall and the ominous creak of leather and metal just outside the door, signaling that Littlefinger's sellswords had taken up position. Lady Brienne, for her part, looked as uncomfortable as she had downstairs. "Thank you for speaking with me, my lady," she said.

"Can you fight them all?" Sansa asked her, keeping her voice down. They would need to be overheard soon, but they had a few seconds. Enough time, perhaps enough time. "If there's four in the corridor, and four downstairs."

"What? Yes, of course," said Lady Brienne, expression torn between confusion and offense. She fought off a bear once, Tyrion had told her with glee. Even beat my dear brother in a sword fight. When he still had both hands.

Sansa went to the first window. A long drop onto hard ground, and it faced the road as well as the hitching posts. The second was more promising: hay bales stacked haphazardly next to the wall, and the wood only twenty hards away.

"Start talking," she hissed at Lady Brienne.

She frowned. "I'm sorry?"

Sansa mimed opening the window. "Start talking. About anything. Honor or duty or what my mother was like. Whatever you'd say if you were trying to convince me."

Lady Brienne's eyes widened in understanding. "I…am not much for speeches, my lady," she said slowly, then more loudly as Sansa pulled open the window slowly, mindful of any squeaking. "But I found your mother an honorable woman, and your brother too. I brought Ser Jaime Lannister back to King's Landing at her request, so that you might be returned to your mother in exchange."

It would never have worked; she'd known that even then. The Lannisters did not understand the notion of letting go of an advantage, once they'd sunk their teeth into one. Even Tyrion had never offered to take her to her family once they'd been married. He'd had his reasons, and they had been good ones, but she'd learned another lesson that day. "So you sacrificed your oath to protect my mother for an oath to protect me?" she asked, making sure her voice carried as she swung her legs over the sill. "How can I know you'll not abandon me, too?"

It was important not to think. If she thought about it, she wouldn't do it.

She held her breath, put her hands over her mouth, and fell.

#yes I know they stop at AN inn not necessarily THE inn at the crossroads #but any excuse to have Hot Pie in a scene #also curious how people will react to Sansa Stark: Girl Who Jumps From Windows #because she does in canon but lbr that's after some uhhh gnarly shit goes down #would sansa do that if not pushed as far as she was at the end of season 5?#let's find out!#game of thrones #got: bitches get stuff done

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sun-marie · 2 months

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I love how some of the Deadfire companions don't like each other. I love how things can get so tense between Xoti and Pallegina or Maia and Tekēhu that they boil over into a big fight with harsh words and hurt feelings. I love how Aloth doesn't get into a fight with Tekēhu but absolutely will bitch about him in an aside to the Watcher. I love how the endgame has some companions drawing lines in the sand and, depending on your choices, basically tears your party apart. I'm so invested in the Watcher's inner-party conflict, and the fact these arguments are triggered automatically after banter makes it feel like you're watching their nerves fray in real time. It's sooooo spicy, i love it so much

#pillars of eternity deadfire spoilers #and like it makes characters like serafen and eder #who as far as I can tell don't dislike any of the other characters enough to get into fights with them #stand out even more as like dudes who are just vibing #also when I say Aloth is “bitching” I 100% mean it positively bc it feels like how I complain about stuff with my friends irl #the relationships in this game are so well done #and I'm using the 8 party mod so I really feel like I'm seeing the full extent of the party dynamics #anyway yeah I got an argument last night with Maia and Tekēhu and she basically made him cry and it was so!! i eat that shit up!!#pillars of eternity #marie speaks

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rocker-socks · 10 months

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On one hand the Slade design is REALLY funny because it’s such a total subversion of his intended design and is pissing off his diehard fans that thinks he’s the shit but on the other hand it completely fucks with the timeline and removes his absent father dilf swag that makes his character so interesting in the first place

#my adventures with superman #deathstroke #slade wilson #modern day deathstroke stands out bc 'ohhh mercenary that used to be military and has Issues' has been done like. a thousand times #(before anyone says anything YES i know deadpool was inspired by deathstroke I Get It)#but a mercenary that causes immense daddy issues? that had his ex wife shoot out his eye? thats your regular ol piece of shit?#the guy that has people pause and go 'oh wow i understand why your family left you LMAO'#thats fun #theres a reason his main enemies are the teen titans alright #this slade wilson has none of that. this slade wilson is just a common bitch #HOWEVER #i will say that this allows for a really interesting character arc of him Losing It All #other people have pointed that out and i will bow to that. and that if this show already has a s2 confirmed then its probably has its own #timeline going on. i will respect that

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 2 years

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Dracula Daily as an insidious plot to manipulate young internet users into willingly checking their email

#dracula daily #i am having SO much fun with this book club #i think we should do this every few months but with a different book #reading is different when you know you get to log in later #to read shitposts and delightful little comics poking affectionate fun at the latest chapter #oh wait shit. this is why people join new fandoms #damn i wish we had done this in high school/college english classes #group chats where everyone in class started riffing on characters/author after every assigned reading #gosh reading Crime and Punishment would have been such a superior and more bearable experience...#Raskolnikov was a LITTLE BITCH and i would have deeply cherished seeing tumblr-style reactions to his Little Bitch Shenanigans

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space--hobbit · 8 months

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hey crew, I'm alive!

it's been OVER A YEAR since I started this piece, and it's finally done.

Our Flag Means Classics: The Redemption of the Kraken Rebelle 5 and Photoshop 100+hrs

This is all painted - not edited into the original!

#ofmd #gay pirates #our flag means fanart #our flag means death #that trailer really lit a fire under my goddamn arse to get all my WIPs done #like daaaamn bitch you really have like 6 WIPS and a list to do and there's gonna be new content in a MONTH? get your shit together

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amygdalae · 11 months

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I'm going to kill my coworker with a hammer

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 6 months

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I'm in the process of proofreading my Comte 7th bday event translation. However. I had to say it because reading the english version of the Impossible Choices event KILLED ME WHERE I SAT:

VIDEO GAMES WERE A MISTAKE I CAN'T UNSEE IT 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Also because it was hot as hell:

I think Comte deserves to be a little violent. As a treat (for me)

I will also never get over Vlad going AND MAKE IT STRAWBERRY at pretty much everything and Comte just "Can you be an adult. About anything. For like 3 minutes." Meanwhile I'm with MC where I just find it lowkey hilarious. Realizing now as I write about it that Comte, Vlad, and MC just feel like Comte and MC are the dad and mom humoring an overzealous child, and something about that is freaking uproarious to me. I was sitting there like "where have I heard/seen that tone in Comte before" and then it hit me like a ton of bricks (as if he doesn't run a whole house, don't look at me I'm a 🤡)

I find it all kinds of adorable that Comte's playful and silly only when he's alone with MC, makes it feel special in a way--like he's comfortable sharing because it's her. I also think it's cute because he often manages to find a way to spin it into something that ends up being fun/sweet/thoughtful towards MC, which is just delightful. I feel like when Vlad comes in he gets a lil grumpy and jealous and retreats into himself a bit, like his private time with MC was stolen 😚

I still chortle about the Honeymoon event where Vlad gave MC a bouquet of flowers to celebrate their wedding day, and the way it felt like Comte wanted to trash them 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 it was so unbelievably funny. Like it was so clear he didn't want to ruin MC's gift, you know, be mature and let her have this. But also. REEEEEEEE M Y MC 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Deleted footage of Comte the second Vlad offered her flowers:

Also, spoilers for the Epilogue that left me clutching my pearls MC GIANT MOOD, I LOVE HIM:

ME TOO, ABEL. ME TOO [SOBBING]

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp comte #ikevamp vlad #ikevamp event spoilers #literally i loved this event so much in the jpnese ver it's beautiful to relive in english #in my notes I have it labeled “The Girls Are Fighting!”#and truly was I wrong? I was not wrong #their petty bickering gives me life--the smile war was absolutely hilarious #like don't get me wrong i love a brawl when two characters can't stand each other #but it's even funnier when they're being So Brave About It and conceal their genuine irritation with rancid pleasantries #and dont even get me started on how they deadass were like #'yeah i wanna slap fight you every time i see you but. put that shit away MC needs us rn. truce.'#and then by god those crazy sons of bitches did it #amazing showstopping spectacular never been done before #also because im feral #I LOVE WHEN COMTE BLUSHES. G O D DDDDD D #IT HAPPENS SO RARELY AND ITS SO P O W E R F U L #PREY DRIVE INSTINCTS ACTIVATED #**LUNGES AT HIM**#anywho im going to be so normal about this. So Normal #comte propaganda #fangdad propaganda #baguettosaurus

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sophiethewitch1 · 1 month

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UwU any spoilers for the next chapter,,

I have meant to do this multiple times but keep forgetting so here's an extra long snippet in apology! It's basically the entire start of the next chapter ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Damn. Your indulgent TV stalking of the Wayne’s really doesn’t hit the same once you technically knew them. And you were hiding inside one of their bedrooms, inside one of their clothes, using their TV subscription. It just didn’t feel right. Morally, of course, but that wasn’t what you were talking about. No, you were just pissy your favourite passtime was basically ruined. You shovel another spoonful of cookie dough ice cream into your mouth, glaring through tired eyes at the screen.

There’s an up close shot of Dick Grayson’s abs. The presenter ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ over his physical form, and you have to agree. You wish you had abs like that. Unfortunately you did respond to most unwanted experiences with stress eating. As always with these celebrity figures, you can’t really tell if you want to be Dick or be with Dick. Your butt is nowhere near the level his is at.

While you hadn’t really set out today looking for shirtless pictures of the Waynes, it wasn’t like you were going to say no to them. So, when the gossip channel had switched from the reactions of the Waynes to last night’s fiasco to… this… you’d just kept watching.

You wonder if you should stop doing this. It’s definitely kind of creepy, and now you’d technically once been his… step sister. What a mind fuck. You’ve been crushing on these dudes for a while, and now they were your ex-step siblings. This was like the start of a bad porno, but you knew you were not that lucky. And it wasn’t like you were going to start thinking of him as a brother any time soon. You hadn’t even met the guy. No, he was still firmly in the ‘celebrity crush’ section of your mind. Pretty and untouchable. The way things are supposed to be.

Which was also bad because you would probably have to meet and interact with him at some point. Probably in the near future. God knows you’d absolutely humiliated yourself in front of the fucking Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne,. Twice, in fact. You didn’t even want to think about the display you’d shown for Bruce Wayne or Damian Wayne.

You didn’t really know what to do with your slightly obsessive crushes. And you could see it definitely being a problem in the near future.

…You decide that what you do in your private time is absolutely nobody but yours business, and keep watching. It’s a mix of bitter spite and geniune mental breakdown levels of desperation that leads you to that decision. You feel like you’re a child with their toy being taken away, and it’s making you mad. And sad too. Even if you shouldn’t do this anymore, you still wanted to keep the habit. You’d mentioned before your creature comforts were one of the few things that kept you going. And while you were mostly very good at not being the jealous, heinous creature you really are, you knew you wouldn’t be giving this up.

They’d have to tear your gossip channels from your cold dead palms. You weren’t giving them up, not without a fight at least. Unfortunately for you, the universe seemed determined to wrestle away literally everything you loved.

Guilt’s for tomorrow. Today is for ice cream and purposefully ignoring everything. Speaking of which, you can not remember the last time you had a good Ben & Jerry’s. They were so expensive these days, as all groceries were. You simply couldn’t afford it. The Waynes, of course, had multiple tubs in multiple different options. Alfred had seemed delighted that you’d taken the ice cream, for which reasons you could not perceive.

Oh, yeah! His name was Alfred. Very butler-y. You’d remember it this time, he was a very nice man. And he called you ‘young miss’ which earned him points. He also didn’t seem to hate you on sight, or treat you like a two-headed freak, like some of the other people in this household. Not naming names. Yeah, fuck that noise, Damian Wayne obviously has issues and it’s much less attractive in real life.

The woman drones on, and your eyes flick to your phone. Yup, she’s still yapping. It’s not like you don’t appreciate Dick’s abs or anything, it’s just that you think she might’ve been talking about this one specific photo for over half an hour now. Lady should get a hobby. Wait, wait, this is her job. Maybe you should start a podcast where you rant about the Wayne’s excercise regimes. It seems to be quite a lucrative field.

You shriek when the door slams open, nearly tumbling backwards off the bed. Hands manage to grip the bedcovers before you tip over, not making a complete fool of yourself. As it goes, you lose your spoon to the carpet. Bits of cookie dough spread over the floor in a divine sacrifice. And you lose your sanity to the man standing in the doorway. To be fair, he looks just as confused as you feel.

You blink at the physically perfect form of Dick Grayson, and then turn your head to the TV to look at the other physically perfect form of Dick Grayson.

…You really wish you had a good explanation for this.

He mutters out your name, lips parted. Dick Grayson seems absolutely shocked to find you here. His eyes flick around the room, and eventually land on the TV. Said baby blues widen to the size of saucers when the reporter makes a really, really unneccesary comment.

“And in news that broke the hearts of both ladies and gentlemen everywhere in Bludhaven, Dick Grayson has announced he will be returning to Gotham to assist his family in this difficult time. My cousin in the Blud is probably crying right now. There’s no ass out there quite like his, and there’s no replacement for Bludhaven’s favourite young rich bachelor,” she winks at the camera, and then the shot of his tone stomach phases forward to take up the entire screen.

Well, there’s a lot to say about that. First of all, fuck. Second of all, shit. Third of all, she really couldn’t have said that part about Dick coming back to Gotham sooner? Per chance, before you’d found yourself in this situation?

You said you weren’t that lucky, you meant it.

“But still, ain’t that lucky for us Gothamites? I myself have spent a lot of time on Dick’s Tiktok and Instagram, and his thirst traps have been used in a lot of my personal-”

You snatch the remote from the sheets and pause it right there. The silence is tense.

#sophie speaks #sophie answers #series:www #www spoilers #i am. EMBARASSED #look i put a warning on my blog that id regularly forget things and i meant it #im sorry :/#i really wish i could fix it but like i... can not #dissociative disorder + fibro fog = never getting any shit done #but also i think im on the rise again!! i feel motivated and want to write so I'm gonna get doing that #this chapter will probably be a bit shorter but I'm uncertain #just trying to get it out really #i promise i really havent given up on www I'm too invested at this point lmao #if i do not see these bitches fucking i will be upset

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