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Dynamics in Philippine Mythology

Female Dieties

  • Scary
  • Mystic
  • Riddler
  • Assume aromantic unless proven otherwise
  • Either asleep or angry
  • Walks around naked
  • Will curse your village if you lie to their faces
  • “Okay bro, you give me the Kaluwalhatian or I’m gonna fucking deck you.”
  • “Makiling! Stop kidnapping men!”
  • “Excuse me? I also kidnap women.”
  • “I’m very protective of the humans. They’re so helpless.”

Genderfluid/Non-Binary Dieties

  • Warm
  • Diligent
  • Powerful
  • Kind
  • Forgiving
  • Adored by everybody
  • Is always right
  • Eyeliner always en point
  • “Please stop giving me your babies. I’m fine. Thank you.”
  • “Please stop calling me the holy spirit. I’m not. Hahaha. Ur so sweet.”

Male Dieties

  • Shy and inlove
  • Assume gay unless proven otherwise
  • Will fight a powerful goddess just to court the local boi.
  • “My closest brother is dead. I will make a whole planet just to bury the remains of my love comrade.”
  • “Gender equality bitch!” Hits sister with a farming tool.
  • “Behold! A coconut!”
  • “Hi I’m Amansinaya and I don’t like you all.” *Swims to Marianas Trench* *Leaves responsibility to someone who doesn’t know shit about the ocean*
  • “Hmmm… I can’t believe Amansinaya left me his apartment. I need help to manage things!” *Haik, a cute ocean god, greets the new neighbor*
  • “Wow. Haik is such a cute name, will you marry me?” “Thanks. Sure why not.”
  • A huge turf war happened because of a gay love triangle. (I’m looking at you, First Gens)
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The Romans and Friends in Quarantine

Caesar: working from home, all day and night. Is trying to multi-task seven things at once. If the virus doesn’t get him, overworking himself will

Antony: Is drunk 24/7 and bored out of his mind, starts many projects and finishes none of them, plays far too many video games, takes up twelve new hobbies that he subsequently forgets

Cleopatra: is discovering that she’ll lose her mind if she’s quarantined with Antony one more day, has a secret stash of wine that she drinks in the bath

Brutus: spends his time writing poetry that he later crumples up because he thinks it’s all shit, lies awake at night haunted by every awkward thing he’s ever said or done, cries in the shower

Pompey: gets drunk and tweets shit he thinks is profound at the time, complains constantly about having to wear a mask

Cassius: rearranges his entire house, organizes everything down to the sock drawers, orders way too much on Amazon

Octavian: argues on social media all the time, has a shelf full of books he’s “definitely going to read next” but keeps buying more online instead

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QU YUAN - THE GREAT ROMANTIC CHU POET

As I urged on to seek my vanished dream.

駟玉虬以乘鷖兮,溘埃風余上征。

Swift jade-green dragons, birds with plumage gold,
I harnessed to the whirlwind, and behold,

朝發軔於蒼梧兮,夕余至乎縣圃;
At daybreak from the land of plane-trees grey,
I came to paradise ere close of day.

欲少留此靈瑣兮,日忽忽其將暮。
I wished within the sacred brove to rest,
But now the sun was sinking in the west;

吾令羲和弭節兮,望崦嵫而勿迫。
The driver of the sun I bade to stay,
Ere with the setting rays we haste away.

路曼曼其脩遠兮,吾將上下而求索。
The way was long, and wrapped in gloom did seem,
As I urged on to seek my vanished dream.

飲余馬於咸池兮,總余轡乎扶桑。

The dragons quenched their thirst beside the lake
Where bathed the sun, whilst I upon the brake

折若木以拂日兮,聊逍遙以相羊。
Fastened my reins; a golden bough I sought
To brush the sun, and tarred there in sport.

前望舒使先驅兮,後飛廉使奔屬。
The pale moon’s charioteer I then bade lead,
The master of the winds swiftly succeed;

鸞皇為余先戒兮,雷師告余以未具。
Before, the royal blue bird cleared the way;
The lord of thunder urged me to delay.

吾令鳳鳥飛騰兮,繼之以日夜。
I bade the phoenix scan the heaven wide;
But vainly day and night its course it tried;

飄風屯其相離兮,帥雲霓而來御。
The gathering whirlwinds drove it from my sight,
Rushing with lowering clouds to check my flight;

紛緫緫其離合兮,斑陸離其上下。
Sifting and merging in the firmament,
Above, below, in various hues they went.

didanawisgi
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