#blah blah their love is their undoing etc etc <3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thedeadthree · 1 year

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— OCS AS A LOVE LANGUAGE.

TAGGED BY: @kingsroad, @chuckhansen, @echo3-1 and @marivenah to take this cutest uquiz for the loves! ty ty <3

TAGGING: @feystepped, @griffin-wood, @risingsh0t, @queennymeria, @denerims, @jendoe, @phillipsgraves, @unholymilf, @morvaris, @aartyom, @jacobseed, @florbelles, @adelaidedrubman, @leviiackrman, @jackiesarch, @loriane-elmuerto, @shellibisshe, @veisshaupt, @aceghosts, @blissfulalchemist, @shadowglens, @malefiicarum, @leondaltons, @pearlcscent, @arklay, @roofgeese and you!

A KNIFE CALLED GRIEF.

You have left your house, you have left those people behind, but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you? You can run but not without them. You want someone to sit with you on this cool marble floor while the sun burns everything.You want them to cut your rotten heart and theirs too. You want to sit with it in front of you, let them see you with all your flaws, which haven’t been your fault but you have been made to believe so, and you want them to love you anyways. Because you know you’d do that for them.

AN UNDOING INFLUENCE.

Can someone tell you what to do? You have been carrying so much love within you for so long it is starting to turn into anger (why does it matter, all you see is red anyways) and you have been dragging this body through each day and every night you are split open on your bed and it is so so so lonely. If someone were to walk in while you were on your bed that way and they stitched you back in a new way, lining the seams with their love and kisses, you’d probably find this dreary world a little more bearable. You want someone to turn you over and over until you look in the mirror and see yourself looking back at yourself with a gentleness which has been lacking in you since forever.

VIOLENT DEVOTION.

Everyone seems to think you are faithless, but the thing is you haven’t yet found someone who will bring you to your knees and make you raise your head in reverence. This world has stopped bringing you joy, you want more of the divine. You want to dedicate your entire existence to someone; you want to make them realise they are not something terrible, make them see just how much beauty they are bringing to this world. You want to be the only one for them, the only one they have chosen to love. There’s a god shaped pit inside of you and only they can fit in it. And what if they choose to walk away? Didn’t I say this was violent devotion?

A STORY THAT ENDS IN BLOOD.

The world has always been unkind, and when you have turned to yourself for comfort you have come face to face with an empty pit which seems to be laughing. You don’t care if it kills you but once you find someone whom you love and who loves you back, you will make sure nothing happens to them. They are yours. You will make a tear in this world and create a new place for you and your love if it comes to that. Because it has always been about love, and it is how it always ends.

CONSUMPTION OF A HEART UNLOVED.

Here’s a dining table, here’s a set of plates. Here’s your heart, red and bursting with love. You have tried to love people all your life, but no one seems to understand you. Your own mother perhaps forgot to teach you how to protect yourself, maybe people whom you trusted chose to look the other way when all you wanted was a hand full of love. All you want is someone to take from you, all you want is someone to dig in your heart and eat it and kiss you afterwards - bloody and red. You want them to tell you that you are what they have been looking for, you want to be the one who ends their hunger.

#only if you want to! 🤍🕊#oc: una nathaira uller #oc: iovanna dayne #oc: maekar targaryen #oc: illyria ilmestys #oc: yoren snow #if anyone needs me i will be losing my mind teehehe thanks! <3 THEY GOT EVERY ANSWER I EXPECTED THEM TO GET JASNXJNS #dont look at me about una's answer don't look at me about unas answer IM SO NORMAL ABOUT UNAS ANSWER IM FINE TOTALLY REALLY!#'you can run but not without them' teehehe when she + aeggy tried to run off to who knows where to avoid his coronation bc he asked her to!#and that was within like....... a week ish or less of knowing each other skjnakj twin flame lover thing etc etc #AND THENN 'you want them to cut out your rotten heart and theirs too' SCREAMING CRYING THROWING THINGS THROWING UP ETCC #OHMYGODMYGODOHMYGODD #(mo if im shrieking in ur dms later bc of this you know why sdjffbv)#carolinee CAROLINEE i must know aeryals answer bc WAHH at his answer? you go aery!!!!! lucky duck etc!!!!!#'There’s a god shaped pit inside of you and only they can fit in it' UHHHHHH im fine this is fine #'you haven’t yet found someone who will bring you to your knees and make you raise your head in reverence' LOSING ITT #VANNNAAAA an undoing influence i mean are you kidding? HAD TO CALL HER OUT LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF THE SEVEN AND EVERYONE HUH #blah blah their love is their undoing etc etc <3 #ILLLLYYYYY 'this story will end in blood' her as the descendant of the bloodstone emperor the battle of the gods eye HER MAGIC RED EYEE #reflecting the same shade as the dragon she has bonded to I MEANN 'you will find someone who loves u and loves u back' nothing will ->#to them? 'You will make a tear in this world and create a new place for you and your love if it comes to that' and how that fits ->#with her and a*emond......? HOLD ON WHILE I LOSEE IT im normal about illys answer im normal about them MY BABIESS #and like oh my god by how yoren is so in need of knowing he's more than a name his own need to love and be loved but its behind a wall?#a wall of pride and something he has had to build because he's so expectant to be hurt again..? IM FINEE #leg.tagged #leg.ocs #TY TYY this was the cutest to do! called out the babies in front of god and everyone! love that for them <3

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inquisimer · 4 months

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STARKHAVEN NEEDS AN HEIR I am making grabby handsssss

Ask me about a WIP :3

I so appreciate you BELOVED but you already know it all 😭😭 This is a oneshot that I'm working on for Siobhan x Sebastian, set roughly 1 year post-HLTA. She's been back in Starkhaven that whole time, recovering (?) from the loss of Loghain ;-;

Basically the premise here is that Sebastian's advisors are pressuring him about the fact that he and Siobhan have been married (political marriage blah blah alliance between kirkwall and starkhaven etc etc) for five (?) years now and they have no kids!

whatever will they do 😏

Anyway, Sebastian is in love with Siobhan (has been the whole time since DA2 oops) but she's never been in (romantic) love with him, and he knows what she and Loghain had was intensely important to her in that way, so he's not bringing this Issue up with her. She figures it out, something something, porn with many many many feelings

it will be SO great when I finally get my ass in gear and write it, but in the meantime I appreciate you and your excitement and support, MWAH 😘

A lil snip for you of what I have so far uwu

The door fell softly shut behind him.

“Evening,” he said, by way of greeting, continuing to undo the partial armor he wore for conducting business. Largely ceremonial, though any amount of metal over your heart was better than none.

“They kept you late,” Siobhan commented. Sebastian winced. Whether she was in his bed or not, she was a close companion and it was her privilege to take note of such things.

“Lord Byrne is quite verbose these days,” he offered, a tired smile ghosting across his lips. “Even the temptations of a well cooked meal do little to sway him from his monologues.”

“Have you not eaten then?”

“He is the one monologuing, not me.” Sebastian grinned, undoing the top buttons of his tunic now and stretching out in the comfort of relaxed, undemanding company. He joined Siobhan in front of the fireplace. “Luckily it does not occupy my mouth or my stomach to endure his prattling.”

“A multitasker.” Siobhan smirked. “Very attractive, my lord.”

#ask game #thank you beloved #I wish I had more for you #someday #mwah mwah

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chipchopclipclop · 2 years

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Just thought I'd share, I bought stein's gate on steam for like 10 bucks bc I had heard like basically everywhere that it's so good and BLAH blah, I played it for about 3 hours and got so incredibly sick of everything, but especially the characters. Wanted to low-key claw my eyes out. Anyway thats it, you're just the first person I saw that didn't like stein's gate lmao

im shocked im the first for you since i know other people who have bitched about it before! lmao 😭

i think the strongest part of that game/show w/e w/e is its time travel existential dread part i think its so done soooo good it hits all my synapses nicely when i remember it. also the whole 'going through hell to help just one person you really care about' thing, okarin and mayuri's relationship in particular really got to me for some reason, i think it was given enough depth to be pretty compelling despite its kind of well trodden basework which is good bc 70% of the game revolves directly around it and their care for each other lmao (especially okarin's) but oh my god is it dregged in so much anime tropiness and garbage around that core theme, all the horny nerd jokes with daru and pandering etc etc (i dont mind cat maids in concept promise)

on the less petty end of my issues is luka's whole character who's very clearly a trans woman, like there is no quibbling about this lmfao though i dont think the writers actually know this themselves! bc okarin can only love her as a cis woman and the sad route where you have to undo her. i dont know how to even phrase lmao, cisification? via time travel and thus can no longer be with her bc okarin is just like 😔 try as i might i am just not gay... (help) is the stupidest shit on planet earth I CANT BELIVEEE YOU HAVE TO KILL MAYURI IN HER ENDING WHAT IS THAT. WHAT IS THE MESSAGE HERE HELLO? GOD? AM I WITNESSING THIS RN? DIE FOR MY ESTROGEN. i know the undo routes are all meant to be tragic but oh my god. write something else im begging you they can not date for OTHER REASONS

and then my much more petty issue is nowhere was i ever convinced him and kurisu were fated for endgame couple status, i think when me and my friends watched the anime we all cried out in shock and pain when they kissed (even though i knew they were going to do it beforehand 😭) like yes, good friends! fellow dumb cunts! confidantes! comrades in arms!! LOVERS???? no........ (this is a harem game i know i know)

im not shocked about its reputation amongst people in the end when it is basically a deconstruction of a dating sim as most nitroplus games are, and if you view it through that lens its like oh em gee this is a god tier framework of storytelling.....wowoeie!...!!!! but the anime bullshit. oh my god, its physically ails me, dying in real life recalling all of this

#chitter chatter #anonymous #sorry this has a readmore i actually have too much to say about how myuch this series makes me scream like an animal #(in a bad way)

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crownedwidow · 5 years

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1, 10, 11, 17, 19?

1. What makes you the most emotional about your muse?: How people tend to perceive her. I love Widowmaker, but a lot of people see her as someone who is a plaything only. I come across a lot of nsfw art that oversexualizes her and denies the fact that she is an assassin, not your sex-toy. And in rp scene this is carried out too: not many bother to even consider that other widow’s have it written in their rules that she is emotionless and would kill her target on sight, and yet we still get the:”You would not shoot me because blah blah blah”. Hell yes she would shoot them. It is only my general respect (which I occasionally am not even getting) towards the other roleplayers that makes me not end the rp with her shooting someone flat out in the head or torturing them to death.

This is what gets me quite emotional: no matter the lore, game interactions etc. she is still seen as a weak woman who can magically undo what has been done to her and return to her previous life only for some shippy threads. It’s like fighting hypocrites but whenever I go on and post something mildly offensive, I get blocked and denied, yet some people are free to come and assume that she is a softy. Widowmaker is and will remain a killer, no matter what.

10. What do you love about your muse?: Everything. Even her design, no matter how peculiar her latex suit might be (not the best thing to wear for a mission lol).

11. What do you hate about your muse?: Her latex suit (it is hot, but just no...). For an assassin that might need to get to close quarters to get what she needs (aka the kill) this thing does not offer any defence. I think if they’d give her more clothing everything would be fine.

17.Why do you think you connect to your muse?: Hm. Generally speaking, I rarely do now. I used to do ballet myself so I know and can imagine how hard her life must have been as a ballerina (let’s be honest, if a prima donna disappears, do you know what kind of possibilities it would give to other ballerinas that have struggled their way up to the top? these girls would be happy, not mourning for amelie’s disappearance). And personality wise: I have this very bad thing (which is also very personal) where all my emotions and feelings go completely numb. So in that sense I can relate and connect to Widowmaker... minus the sniper rifle and good aim part.

19.If you had to judge your muse and sentence them to a “fair” fate, what would your judgement be? Would you punish them? Reward them? How?: The way I portray my Widowmaker and how she perceives life, rehabilitation would only bring her more torment and no good. Amelie might be returned, but she’d not wan to live with what she’s done as Widowmaker. Her fair fate would be death. Either by her own hand or a mercy kill.

Maybe a Zenyatta would help her to get back on tracks though; he did work miracles with Genji.

But the only reward she deserves would be finally some peace.

#cuiomae

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holydragon2808 · 7 years

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Why I Hate the Phrase “Worst Avatar Ever”....

Feel free to ignore this really. It’s just me ranting again (though if anyone wants to read it of course by all means) and I just needed to get this out because I’m really tired of this whole concept of “worst avatar ever”….

I had a discussion/debate the other day in RL with someone at my job regarding the Avatarverse and it was one of those debates where the other person completely praised Aang and the previous avatars for their accomplishments/achievements and ignoring their flaws (or glossing over them) while completely deriding Korra for every mistake she makes while completely ignoring her accomplishments and character growth and asserting that she’s the worst avatar ever and made bisexual out of nowhere (which I seriously beg to differ on personally) and blah blah blah….Any fan of Korra as a character has probably had at least one of these discussions/debates with someone in the past whether here or somewhere else on the internet or even in RL….

There was a topic about the “Worst Avatar Ever” on the Avatar Wiki page a while back and I posted a response there (or rather who we personally thought was “the worst” I suppose). I’m just going to be lazy and copy/paste what I said there (and add a few other things) because I honestly can’t express what I said any better than what I did on that site and it’s still my post either way so…. Gonna undercut because it’s pretty lengthy…

IMO just going by the few Avatars out of the thousands that we know of (and if we’re going with cataclysmic consequences for the entire world at large), I’d have to say it’s a three way toss up between Wan, Roku, and Aang despite me liking both Wan and Roku and being fairly neutral on Aang. I don’t understand why people in general give Korra so much crap when these three arguably messed up the world far more than she ever did (again just speaking in general here).

Avatar Wan forever separated the forces of light and darkness from one another and threw the world out of balance for 10,000 years and had to constantly reincarnate to fix it. That’s a pretty hard screw up to top IMO….True, he did everything he could to try and fix it (and I think he’s a very courageous and awesome character despite what I’m saying), but at the same time, it forced a person each generation into a life of sacrifice and duty that none of the other Avatars ever asked for or some not even wanting and not having a choice in the matter….He chose it. The rest of the Avatar line didn’t get that luxury. They just have to “deal with it”.

Then Roku put friendship above his duty to the world and in so doing ignored all the obvious signs that Sozin was heading down a very dark path and possessing resources that could (and did) bring disaster and ruin to the world. The end result: The entire air nation was completely wiped out, leaving a permanent imbalance on the existence of the 4 nations (at least until Korra came along two avatar cycles later and played an integral part in fixing this screw up too but people selectively ignore this).

Then Aang comes along and confounds the problem that Roku started by running away and leaving the world without an Avatar at all for 100 years (though to be fair it is pointed out later that had he stayed he would have been killed along with the other Airbenders but he didn’t know about the fire nation war at the time he left so he’s still responsible for running away). Then he spends a good chunk of his show constantly avoiding conflict and his duties at the first opportunity. I never quite understood why so many people looked up to him as this supposed picture perfect avatar. It’s pretty hard to label someone as the perfect hero when they don’t even want the role to begin with and actively goes out of their way to avoid it constantly.

IMO, there’s really no way any of us can say who was the best avatar or the worst because 1) we just don’t have enough information about all the avatars to really compare fairly and 2) one of the major themes of both shows is that at the end of the day, the Avatar is human and humans in general are flawed creatures with both virtues and vices. Wan had good intentions but his (understandable) naiveté caused a calamity for the world that he had to spend (and will still probably forever spend) multiple lifetimes atoning for because there “wasn’t enough time” (and probably never truly will be). Roku’s (understandable) bias towards his best friend led him to ignore the signs that Sozin was not going to let go of his ambitions and as such led to the destruction of the air nation and later the 100 year war. Aang’s (understandable) fear and selfishness of losing his normalcy led him to run away from his duties, get frozen in an iceberg and effectively leave the world without an Avatar to stop the fire nation for 100 years (though to be fair Aang definitely made it up to the world by defeating Ozai and in TLOK we definitely have a firm grasp on the awesome legacy he left behind).

And the latest Avatar, Korra, IMO, her issues caused more harm to herself and her loved ones than the entire world at large (which was kind of the entire point of her journey in a way, to show her that being the Avatar didn’t make her invincible or invulnerable and that she’s a human that can be hurt or rendered powerless too). Her ego, pride and refusal to accept her fears and weaknesses ended up having disastrous consequences for herself and other people on more than one occasion and ended up being her primary reason for her stunted spiritual growth for a long while (that and trusting the wrong people due to her isolated upbringing and said isolated upbringing hardly helped her with her lack of a spiritual center).

However, despite some of her spiritual connection hang ups (which she eventually grows past), most of her active world changing actions and decisions turned out for the better. Let’s take a look at what she’s done or what effect her actions have caused for the entire world at large during her time as the Avatar:

1) Her exposing of Amon gave non benders a voice in Republic City (and just a larger voice in general) and she was able to undo the damage he caused to a lot of innocent benders in the city by restoring their bending powers

2) She built on the theme of unity that Avatar Aang and Lord Zuko started with Republic City by keeping the spirit portals open and bringing the two worlds closer together than they’ve been in several ages (and vanquishing Vaatu instead of just sealing him away at least until the next Harmonic Convergence (something even Avatar Wan, the person who actually is to blame for Vaatu being free in the first place wasn’t able to do) and for the first time ever in history the Southern Water Tribe was declared independent from the Northern Water Tribe after her actions which will probably go a long way towards ending some of the animosity between the two tribes)

3) brought back the Air Nation from the brink of extinction and played a very integral part in uniting them (and went through a very physical, emotional, and spiritual self sacrifice to keep them alive that took her three years to recover from and at the same time inspired people from all over the world to follow her example of service and sacrifice)

4) and created yet another spirit portal right in the center of the city meant to be a symbol of unity in the world while at the same time stopping Kuvira and her Earth Empire dictatorship when the rest of the world leaders couldn’t for one reason or another (politics, lack of man power, etc), reminding the world of the reason why the Avatar is needed.

True, while the devastation of Kuvira’s attack (along with Korra and her friends’ attempts to stop her) left a good part of Republic City in ruins, it won’t take 10,000 lifetimes for her and the city to rebuild the damage, and thanks to the evacuation beforehand, most of the citizens did live through the destruction.

Korra definitely has her flaws and at times she can definitely be frustrating and hard to deal with and even not the best role model at times (though she definitely grows into one by the end and she’s probably my favorite character in the avatarverse), but I don’t think it’s fair (or even true) that she even remotely qualifies for the title of “worst avatar ever”. Tenzin even confirms it himself “Korra, you’ve transformed the world more in a few years than most Avatars did during their lifetimes”. Just saying…

True, a lot of people and spirits aren’t necessarily happy with this forced integration and there are a lot of risks to it definitely, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t learn to co-exist with one another nor should they not be given the chance to try. Only true peace and balance can come when the barriers disappear and both sides learn to accept each other which is why despite some complications and potential dangers with the spirit portals being open, I honestly agree with Korra’s decision on keeping them open will lead the world closer to “balance” in the long run.

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wwoofcsa · 4 years

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My time with karla

Ok so bali’s good for the first two weeks, we have some wonderful adventures, and we eventually find our way to ubud for the first of many times, and we find a flyer for this free ocean yoga festival in amed a few days later (on the east side of the island) we’re super intrigued and we head to canggu for a few days before we go out to amed. In canggu, this wonderful girl (who will soon change my life) shows up and we hit it off. Shes orginally mexican, but she, like me, left her home country. In her journey, she moved to the states for a few years, and then flew out and has been in chiang mai for the last year or so. We sat in the pool for a bit upon meeting and spoke for a long while. It was almost a magneticism, karla and i, we just really enjoyed eachothers company. So we kept hanging out over the next few days. We slacklined, did some yoga, and really just connected. Meanwhile the gang and i went and saw FKJ, NIghtmares on Wax, and Slow Magic at this bougie festival at the W hotel and we met up with rain and fox (for the first of a few times) from the burn. The festival was hilarious, as we just got plastered and had a fucking blast, pulled some shenangigans, and were the life of the party...or should i say the life of the super fancy hotel.

Anyways we told karla about this festival we found out about and she asked if she could accompany us. It made me super happy how direct and open she was. And i remember being a bit nervous, but i wanted to let her know that i was interested in sharing a room together if she was into it. After we talked, and agreed to share a room, we all made our way out to amed on the 4 or 5 hour ride.

Arriving in the evening the hotel lost our reservations and through a 45 minute process of events, we eneded up getting upgraded to an unbelieveably beautiful sister hotel of theirs, for the same price. This place was an actual temple, It was incredible. We shouldnt have been allowed to stay there, it was directly on the beach and had 3 enormous rooms with two outdoor showers and a kitchen and living room. So karla and i got our own private little villa in back where over the course of the week our relationsihp and bond deepened as we explored each other and ourselves in the form of love making, sharing, beautiful workshops we explored and amazing ecstatic dance partys. She was a brilliant and lovely companion. She was excited to try new things, she loved meditation and she was so hilarious. She was kind and gentle and loving, and she had my back. It was the first time id ever really felt that a companion could really provide support for me too, a true partner, and equal. I very quickly fell into an ocean of love, but a love this time, without infatuation. A love with (as the community of tamera would define) my blue ball in tact, and still with me, and a love with true contact. A love that seemed to carry intention, awareness, gentleness and consideration. A love to be proud of, with no shame, guilt, fear, or demands. Would this girl play a role in my future? I didnt know, and didnt really dwell, i was just happy for the time that was happening.

We decided, a few days in, to trip on acid together. It was ultimately a really incredible experience and i went pretty deep into my own mind. I took away a few things. First off, i deepened my connection to trees, as in many ways i felt as if i embodied a tree and grounded myself into my life and into those around me in order to support them. But i also experienced something else interesting, i felt the support of karla, it felt that because she was fully able to take care of herself, and even had extra to give, that i could finally feel supported in my own journey as opposed to focus on taking care of someone else. It felt almost as though i was so much stronger because i had someones support behind me. This was definitely something new for me in a relationship and it became very clear during our trip together. In the past, ive been used to feeling like i am consistantly taking care of two people, and with karla, it felt as if i i both of us were watching out of both of us. At the end of the day, it was super nice that she was open to tripping and i see that the manifestation of a psychedelic lady is coming to fruition which makes me so happy and excited for the future

In the next two weeks we contintued connecting, checking in and exploring. We dealt with the challenges of me balancing my time between her and my group of friends and i learned a great deal. I learned how important a group is to me, and how hard it is for me to feel seperated while im spending in a group. I think it triggered feelings, like i must choose between people i love, when i really love them all and i want to dedicate time and energy to everyone. I know for part of the time mikey expressed feelings of “losing” me to karla, and feeling like our trip was starting to diverge from what we had originially planned (ill go into this more in depth at a later point)

Through these challenges, we grew, and communicated and so to lighten the mood ill share some funny stories that happened along the way.

Scooter story

So one night during the ocean yoga festival, there was an ecstatic dance experience. Ecstatic dance is an awesome forum for expression through movement. Its basically a 2 hour dj set where everyone has the space to dance however feels good for them, they can do yoga, meditate, dance together, dance alone etc etc. It’s basically a space that holds the freedom to move and enjoy without alcohol or drugs. So the location of the ecstatic dance was a bit far out, but we had done some acro yoga there a few days before so we knew the route, the night was amazing and we danced our faces off, and i got a bunch of new songs via my shazam addiction.

flash forward a few days, there was another dance party out on the beach right in front of the yoga shalla where we had danced only nights before. Because the journey was so long (30 minute drive) and it was already night time, one of our friends that we had met offered a short cut. He owned one of the restaurants in amed, blue earth, which and INCREDIBLE charcoal pizza. Like, this pizza was so good we got it seven times, thats how good it was. I would give the rest of my lifes savings, just to eat a life time supply of this pizza. Anyway, so we get this short cut where we basically drive to the beach and walk 20 minutes down the beach. We park the bike and for some reason decide to lock the key hole, just in case there are theives by the beach and we didnt want our bike to get stolen blah blah blah. So we lock the bike and something weird happens where it seemed like the lock was stuck. No worries, we headed down the beach and started our treck to the party. The walk was lovely, along the beach at night, and we finally arrived to the bonfire party combo. We stayed for a while and danced and chatted, but after a while we both felt the call to get the fuck back home. As we walked back came across some bio luminscense!! The plankton in the water was so beautiful so we played fora bit, as it was the highlight of our evening. So we contintued on and after some time arrived to the bike which we would find out soon, was inevitably locked forever. Its not that the keyhole lock was messed up, its that the back of the key itself which unlocks the keyhole lock, was worn down and stripped. It was at that point i realized that i had no more internet on my phone plan and after about 40 mins of tryign to look up youtube videos of how to break into our bike, and about 5 people coming by and failing to help us, we decided to try and contact mikey or max to help us out. It was about 1:30am and after about 6 tries, max finally answered, thank fucking god. I tried to keep him on the phone, explaining to him the mild emergency, and thank god about a half hour later, mikey and he pulled up and took us back. After a long, exhausting evening, we slumbered into the night, gearing up for the next days journey to kuala lampur for my visa extention.

Last last lastly, we had a fun experience one evening that is particularly worth noting. We were starting to explore a bit of intimacy one evening and as we got a little deeper into it, my earing got caught in her nose ring and karla and i got stuck for like five minutes cause our faces were so close together that we couldnt see how to undo it. it killed me and heres some evidence belowww

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dustydreamsanddirtyscars · 7 years

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What do you make of Dean having so few kills this season & none since 12.11? At first, I thought the writers might just want to showcase Sam a bit. But now it's actually a pattern, where Sam or a guest actor get the big hero moments, never Dean. It really stood out for me in last night's episode, where Dean got to finally carry the Colt but Sam was the one who actually used it against 'both' bad guys. I'm hoping that it's not just Dabb's bias but that there might be a story reason behind it?

@suebsg9 said: I am just curious about your opinion on Sam getting another kill. Not that I minded Dean being victim especially to a god he did do a very good job getting out of the plastic wrap. And enjoyed what you had to say about the latest episode. I miss Dean getting big kills.

Hey you two!

Hope you don’t mind replying to both your asks in one go. I thougt it would make sense, as they are about the same thing. :)

While I am absolutely not convinced this may not just be due to writers/showrunners bias, I do think it should be considered a conscious pattern that will culminate in some sort of resolution with likely pretty painful and bad outcome. We have seen the pattern not just with Colt, but something similar too with Dean never getting to actually shoot the grenade launcher for example. So Dean being the one to carry the Colt (while still ultimately imo definitely not knowing the full story about how the BritMoL managed to get it in their hands in the first place - meaning he doesn’t know that Mary was the one choosing the gun over her sons lives) and not shooting it, imo may pave up to a moment in the finale where Dean will maybe fire the gun, but potentially not because he wants to per se.

I personally don’t mind Dean not getting “big kills” all the time. In fact I rather liked that Dean is showing in his very human measures and ability that he can be one huge force to mess with - even for a God. I find that to be much more powerful than if Dean just shot the Colt. The most iconic Colt moment will remain Dean’s Azazel kill anyway and that is kind of where I think the season is headed again loosely based on some of the vey loose spoilers circulating at the moment on the finale “with something disturbing and shocking happening”, the Js shooting some “scene with lots of past characters” that happens after the blackout of the ending of the episode or that the fandom will “hate Lucifer even more than it already does after the season finale” (this last bit annoys me most because it to me suggest we will still have fucking Lucifer - way overdone and boring and repitiive Lucifer in S13 *huge and long sigh* - please kill that character off, please!!!)

So what am I going on about? I personally could imagine that at the end of the season all of the Mary and Lucifer alignments may come together after all. There was a lot of focus on Mary as Lucifer’s vessel in the first half, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that got revisited. Basically I have like three different scenarios that I could see play out in one way or another or as a combination.

1) The finale will somehow feature Sam as Lucifer’s vessel again. But then Mary will intervene and offer herself up as her way to “make up for being the one to “start it all”. So Lucifer would skip vessels and with that of course torture the Winchesters in new volumes. Then I suppose Ketch may factor in into the story too and I could imagine him being the one to shoot the Colt expecting it to kill Lucifer, but of course we know that won’t work and therefore he ends up killing Mary. And after that possibly trying to do the same with Sam and Dean.

That is one possibility, but I rather think actually that instead of Ketch (who would factor in on this arc in some other way) Dean will be the one to fire the Colt, but not because he wants to, but because he is forced to do it by Lucifer or Daegon or someone else.

That would bring together the threads of Dean being shown to be forced to do things against his will by his loved ones as well as bringing in the Colt and Dean firing it in a new way. And I feel it would match the markers of “Lucifer being hated even more” if Dean was force to kill his mother and it would definitely count as “disturbing”.

2) I can see the scenario described above also imagine to play out not with Lucifer who possesses Mary, but Daegon instead, because that would bring the show full circle to the end of S1 when Dean has the Colt aimed at John possessed by Azazel and can’t bring himself to shoot him. It would make a whole lot of sense if they revisited that scene imo. I mean, I wouldn’t want that burden to sit on Dean’s shoulders to be the one to shoot Daegon and in order to kill her also kill Mary, but in reation to poetic symmetry it would absolutely work. And this time Dean would be able to pull through. And maybe then Ketch would shoot Dean, because he can’t be without Mary or sth. ;P

3) In a turnaround to the ending of S11 where Mary’s return was aligned with Sam getting shot, another possibility would be that this time a season may end with Mary leaving and Dean getting shot. Now, it could be that Mary is the one to do it. Whether accidentally while wanting to fire the Colt at someone else or because she is forced to do it by Lucifer or Daegon or hell, even, Ketch. I know there has been talk about death foreshadowing and while I personally didn’t get that vibe from mayn scenes, I guess one could say that if you saw those, this is what they may lead up to. Though if we talk death, I personally would always have thought rather metaphorical death in so far as Dean would rise as a more free person, but that’s a topic for another time.

So these are kind of the ways how I see the Colt and Dean not firing it could be revisited or tied up. Of course it is also more than possible that Dean will simply be the one to pull the trigger of the Colt when killing Ketch, but yeah, I’d prefer something less “blah”. ;)

In any regard and while of course the season finale spoilers are to be take with a bucket load of salt, I think this season could end with more than one Winchester death (which of course won’t be permament) and the scene that the Js talked about they filmed for S13 could be understood as a scene on Heaven.

All that said, there are two more thoughts that I have been kicking around in my head and one would be - though I am fairly certain they won’t go that route, because it would render the entire season “useless”, because nothing would have truly happened - that maybe at the end of the season it would turn out that Dean was in the Empty after all. But again, I don’t think the “it was all a dream”, would be something they’d do, because yeah that’s lazy and bad writing 101 and would basically confirm that Dabb had no clue what to do with this season and therefore pulled a 360 right at the end.

Much more than that though and this has popped up as an idea in a conversation with the lovely @lemondropsonice who propsed what if Amara returns? While I think it’s sadly wildly unlikely to happen, I have to say I would LOVE that, because wouldn’t that be just beautiful? For her to return, because she expected that giving Dean his mother back would heal him and make him happy, but instead it all just got a million times worse and so much got destroyed. I would love that because it would emphasize how much she actually care about Dean - she defintely seems to have cared about him a lot more than his actual mother does. So what if she returned and asked if she should “turn back time” and let Mary keep resting in peace? It would be a twist on the “it was all a dream”-scenario that I would be able to live with, if Dean was able to rememeber everything that happens and the development wouldn’t be erased from the Winchesters’ brains. Yet, it would undo nephilim problem for example and various other things.

Question of course would be if Dean would be able to tell her “do it” or if he’d plead for her to not do anything, that he may not be happier as she had hoped for him to be, but that he is glad that he finally knows the truth and that he values that more than living with a memory that was comforting at the time, but sadly never truly real.

Of course all of this and any of these scenarios would place major emotional torture and hardship on Dean that is beyond comprehension or may actually see him hurt badly or dying due to his family’s misplaced trust etc., but yeah I guess while endings like this couldn’t redeem how awfully executed and written this season was, it sure could show that maybe the showrunners and writers may have realized that they may have to do a better job in S13.

#SPN spoilers #SPN speculation #SPN Meta #Supernatural Meta #Narrative smmetry #Visual and narrative callbacks #Anonymous #Ask #Season finale spec #Season finale scenarios #Dean Winchester #Mary Winchester #The Colt

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miasanfamilie · 7 years

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ok i was tagged by the lovely @oldtrafford in this where you answer 11 questions and then tag 11 people to answer 11 questions of your own so here we go (i can’t write a reasonable amount ever for anything i ramble too much, so it’s under a break, sorry mobile friends)

1. What is it about your favourite player that makes them your favourite?

i could literally write a novel about all the reasons why i love philipp lahm and why he’s been my favorite for soooo long (and will as soon as i get enough emotional gumption up to actually write the tribute he deserves), but everything from the brilliance on pitch and ability to read games and teammates (and opponents) near flawlessly, to his signature tackle dispossessing opponents without him even breaking a sweat and just standing up and playing on as if nothing happened, to the way his voice is exactly the same accent that my family speaks so it feels so much like home, to the way his heart beats so deeply and strongly for bayern above all else and how much he’s willing to sacrifice for us -- i just love him so much?

2. Which was your favourite footballing season and why?

i feel like this goes largely without saying, but the clear answer is 2012/13, not just for the trophies, but for the TEAM that was there and how good and happy and mia-san-mia-y and just bayern it was after the worst of the worst the year before...

3. What’s the best football stadium (that isn’t your team’s)?

i think my favorite non-bayern stadium i’ve been in was the estadio do dragao in porto so i’ll go with that

4. What’s a piece of writing (be it a book, a quote, a poem etc.) that you love?

two quotes -- the first from goethe: “Auch aus Steinen, die einem in den Weg gelegt werden, kann man Schönes bauen” which translates roughly to “you can build beautiful things out of stones that are laid in your path”, and the second one which is an old english proverb:: “...and those who were seen dancing were thought to be mad by those who could not hear the music“

5. What’s one movie you could watch again and again and never be tired of?

i hate that this is my answer but the 2004 phantom of the opera... also the lion king

6. What/where would your ideal holiday be?

some place where i could have as many of my closest friends around as possible romping around in the mountains

7. If you could only bring three things with you to a deserted island, what would it be?

a friend!! some way to talk to all my other friends like a magical cell phone than never runs out of battery or loses service or a passenger pigeon that can fly faster than the speed of light and never dies or gets tired or something. and my wilderness first response kit (a really beefed-up first-aid kit that includes stuff to treat just about any wilderness-caused injury plus basic wilderness necessities like space blankets and a pocket knife and stuff) to be practical when it comes to survival until we get rescued :D

8. If you could pick up any skill (be it writing, drawing, learning a language, etc.) immediately, what would it be?

can i just use this to up my oboe playing/reed-making even though i already technically “have” those skills?

9. What’s your favourite goal of all time?

fips’s opener goal in the 2006 world cup in the allianz against costa rica

10. Do you own any jerseys? What are they? Do they have names? What’s one jersey you want to own?

oh dear i own MANY jerseys... almost all of them names, but some don’t. bayern first: from when i was a kid i have a 92/93 zickler away kit (it’s the ugliest thing we’ve EVER worn except for maybe the old-gold mess in 2005), a 99/00 home lizarazu kit when he was still number 3... and then there’s an 08/09 poldi home kit? i have home kits starting from 2013/14 all with fips, plus unnamed 13/14 away, schweinsteiger 14/15 champions league (graduation present don’t ask), leonie maier 15/16 away, and holger champions league from this year *cries*... and from the national team i have thomas from 2014, celia sasic from 2015, and mario gomez from last year

i would literally sell my soul for either a philipp lahm national team kit (2006 most preferred, but 2010 are my fave kits we’ve ever had so i’d take that tbh) or a mario gomez bayern jersey because OF COURSE the 4 seasons he played with us just happened to be the four seasons i was putting myself through college and had NO money for jerseys and was estranged enough from my family to not get birthday presents lmao good timing there...

11. What’s the funniest football chant you’ve ever heard?

oh goodness picking just one is SOOO hard, but maybe “his teeth are offside” referring to suarez or maybe the one which is like “Allee, Allee, Allee, Allee, Allee, eine Straße, mit vielen Bäume, ja das ist eine Allee” (it’s making fun of using the french Allez in german fanchants saying Allez is a street with lots of trees aka an alley)... there’s also the one we have that i love in dialect which is essentially like “i’m toppling out of a bar early in the morning, all i need is a bayern win and a good drunken rout” (it’s better in bairisch lmao) and the one kindly brought to you all by vfb stuttgart and the time jens lehmann missed 5 minutes of a match to pee “pinkelpause, pinkelpause, hey! hey!”

BONUS 12. If you had to say something nice about your bitterest rivals, what would you say?

y’all don’t deserve the shit that ismaik’s pulling on you (and i do mean that with my whole heart no matter how much i hate them)

ok so i tag @mulleister, @thomasmxller, @simplyirenic, @rosecityriveters, @elany, @lordbaeder, @ancelotitty, @mertes4cker, @kingsleycomanfussballgott, @kangarooneys, and @khalehla-blah (as usual no pressure for anything if you don’t want) and here are my questions:

1. Who was the first player who caught your eye with football (whether or not you still like them)? 2. How did you get into football? Into your favorite teams? 3. If you could undo any transfer that’s ever happened, which would you undo and why? 4. What’s your favorite shameless dance party song? 5. What language that you’re not already fluent in do you most want to learn? 6. What's the one thing you always take with you when you start a new life chapter (a book, an old toy, a picture, etc.)? 7. Do you have pets? What kinds? 8. What retirement hurts you The Most? 9. What is your favorite match ever played? 10. What’s your most ridiculous piece of football fan-paraphenalia (that weird hat your mom got you, the free wrist warmers you picked up outside a stadium, the bayer leverkusen condoms your friend gave you as a joke, etc) 11. What season/tournament would you go back in time to experience now if you could see any one you wanted? BONUS 12 (because it’s a good question but i didn’t want to repeat): What about your favorite player makes them your favorite?

#oldtrafford #simplyirenic #thanks so so much for the tag rachel!!!!#i'm sorry i can't shut up and ALSO you got me on my super emotional about fips mode again so here i am being like </3 but in a good way #i apologize for rambling so much but i don't know how to shut up sooooo #please enjoy learning all kinds of things about me lmao #personal #tag games

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