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keylimeyunho · 9 months

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hard to ignore: part 3

part 3: "rehearsal"

pairing: reader x fuckboyidol!san genre: smut, fluff word count: 6.3k warning(s): rough making out, dom!san, hate sex, name calling, manhandling, fingering, alludes to sex, talks of virginity

you will admit, the way you acted yesterday was definitely out of hand. but today was a new day.

everything that happened yesterday, you were just going to forget about. forget about your embarrassing decision to stand in front of choi san's infuriating face and tell him off for being the dick he was and probably has always been.

it's now day 2 of the 3 seoul shows that are kicking off ateez's first world tour since the pandemic and today, you were getting to work on not only their makeup, but their outfits. you woke up still in disbelief that this was your job.

and nothing else was going to happen today to risk it again. not choi san, not jeong yunho, not eunchae. you were going to mind your business and grace these boys with the best outfits they've ever seen. and that's all you were going to do.

yet still, you were at their trailer door by the time it rang 8 am on your phone. just as he wanted you to be.

you scratched your arm and straightened yourself, waiting for one of the members to open their door. you could see your hot breath coming out of your mouth into the morning chill. you were somehow more nervous on day 2 than you were on the first day- but you're pretty sure you knew why.

the door opens and the sound echoes through the trailer lot, as you were the only ones up at this hour. yunho stood at the door with a warm smile, letting all the cold over your arms and in your body melt away. however, the smile quickly changed to a gaping mouth in shock.

"oh my god, did we leave you out here too long?" he reaches his arm out and grabbed the makeup bag out of your shaking hands and gently pulled you inside their heated trailer. "i'm sorry..usually hongjoong is awake but i think after the adrenaline of last night, we all crashed." he scratches his neck and looks down at his feet.

you walk into their trailer to find that the director had brought their day 2 outfits already, each carefully zipped in their costume bags, for you to sew to your hearts content and tether perfectly to all eight bodies of ateez. you felt a smile creep across your face.

you turn back to face yunho who was still looking down, ashamed he left their poor stylist outside for too long.

"don't sweat it," you reassure him with your now beaming smile. "right now, i'm itching to see what outfits they're giving us to work with!"

you place your bags down and run over to the bag labeled "SEONGHWA," giving into the temptation and running your hands over the zipper.

you turn back to yunho, whose soft smile had returned to his face and he tilted his head at you with endearment of curiosity. you beamed at him. "can I please open this now? seonghwa always has my favorite look...and I might die if I don't get to see it right now."

the coffee machine behind yunho chimes and he jumps out of the trance your eyes had put him in.

"shit! my coffee!" he scurries over before his coffee spills over the mug. "y/n, of course you can," he reassures you as he lifts the mug carefully over to the fridge for creamer. "you're our stylist. and i think you should get a good look at the outfits before we put them on."

you bite your lip nervously. "alright....fuck it. you're right." you tear into the bag (carefully, of course) and reach your hand in to pull out seonghwa's suit.

you gasp. a red vest with a plunging neckline wrapped in a formidable black coat that was as long as his pants hanging off the hanger. the sides of the jacket turned to the deep blood red of the vest. you could smell the scent of fresh fabric and feel the softness of the fabric between your fingers. a very seonghwa outfit indeed.

"did you see mine?" yunho says behind you. you turn you heard to see him grinning from behind his coffee mug, sipping carefully with one arm leaning on the counter. "i think it's my favorite of all of our outfits this tour. maybe even ever."

you roll your eyes at him. "now that has to be a stretch. your outfit yesterday was amazing." you remember the black velvet and gold trim jacket you saw him in yesterday as he was performing the ring, remembering the way he became a different person, one much different than the sweet, gentle guy you were talking to right now.

yunho takes another sip of his coffee and sighs. "i mean, i loved it, don't get me wrong. but it's just...something about outfits that show off my body shape." he shrugs and puts his coffee cup down. "let me show you."

he walks over to where you are near the couch and takes the bag labeled "YUNHO." he unzips it and carefully takes out the outfit

in the same deep shape of red, yunho's outfit is much different yet just as elegant as seonghwa's. it's half red-half black with a black, floral decal on the right shoulder. no jacket or baggy pants. just a glorious button-down, perfect for a performer like yunho. and definitely better than yesterday's outfit.

your mouth hangs open in shock. "wow, you were right about one thing. it's definitely much more form-fitting."

you reach your hand out to take the bag from him and your fingers brush for a second. yunho probably doesn't notice, but you do. you try to ignore the fact his fingers were soft, maybe freshly moisturized. he smelled good, too. you wonder how long he's been-

"the rest of them will be ready soon, they're all awake- i'm just the only one who remembered you were coming, i guess." he beamed at you and offers a hand to pull you up. "and since i'm all ready to be prepped, i'll take one for the team and go first." he winks at you and puts his hand to his heart, in honor. "i'll sacrifice my sleep to give the guys some time to recoup and actually eat something."

you smile softly at him. today was already looking better than yesterday.

once all the boys finished getting ready, you were able to start rotations for fitting them for their outfits. they were generally well-fitted on them, but you did some last-minute tailoring.

you could tell the boys were probably not completely comfortable with their outfits. wooyoung kept pulling at the shirt under his red blazer and seonghwa clearly wasn't comfortable with the length of his coat. so you opted for wooyoung to just remove the button down completely.

wooyoung checked himself out in the mirror and got shy when he saw the way his chest was more exposed with the shirt removed. you hid your smile; you could not deny seeing the evident mercedez benz logo on his chest more clearly this way.

he turned back to you with his hands together, thanking you. "this is much better. lord knows what i would've done if i had to dance in that shirt."

and for seonghwa, you squatted below him, taking scissors and trimming the fabric to a little below his knees, giving him enough leg room that would make it easier to perform the first set of songs. you hadn't realized that performing answer in such a long coat would probably be easier said than done.

but you could tell seonghwa felt infinitely more confident in a shorter coat than a longer one. he spun around in the mirror like a little girl playing dress up for the first time, his eyes glowing and a smile lighting up.

seeing the members feel good in their outfits made you finally feel useful today; not like a klutz. or someone getting in their way.

you better stay away from me if you know what's good for you-

"y/n, this is just- wow."

seonghwa's voice shakes you from that memory, one that felt so vivid but so distant. but you smile at him, forgetting all about it.

"you look stunning. regal, even." you put your hands on his coat again, unbuttoning the coat and revealing more of his neckline and deep red vest. you looked up seonghwa, who was looking down at you, with that intimidating glare and sharp cheekbones.

but his gaze transformed into a big smile with his eyes squeezed shut the way it always does. "only the second day and you already are proving to be our best stylist yet."

you roll your eyes at his comment. "oh please, you're just saying that." you nod to his coat, "it was a simple cut and sew, easy. it wasn't that special.”

seonghwa punches your shoulder playfully. "hey, don't put yourself down like that. we all are thankful you came to kq."

you scratch your arm awkwardly, looking away from seonghwa's genuine, caring expression. you knew he meant well, but you have trouble believing everyone at kq wanted you here. especially after-

"hey, don't let whatever happened between you and san get to you. please." seonghwa looks at you with sympathy and pleading. you can tell he means what he's saying.

"man's an ass. we all know it. i don't even need to know what he said to know that he's already getting to your head." he turns back to the mirror to straighten his coat. "you just gotta put him in his place and he'll get off you. only time he ever gets his way is when you let him walk over you."

you look at seonghwa's face in the mirror and he raises an eyebrow at you. "so don't let him. just tell him to fuck off."

that was the first time you had a genuine laugh for the first two days.

now that was funny. telling your superior to go f himself. yeah, that would end up better than yesterday.

you in san's face backstage. san staring daggers into your eyes. san barging into your trailer. you can't stand the way he's starting to consume your mind.

you stop laughing to look at seonghwa. "yeah, like that'll end well." you scoff.

but seonghwa's face remains indifferent. suddenly, he turns around and heads towards the door. "thank you for everything, y/n. and im serious. someone should really just tell him that one day." he shoots you one last stern look, almost like something of an older brother, who cares about you. "and its certainly not gonna be me." he walks out.

you look at the clock. it's currently 9:06 AM.

be ready by 8 am. you shake the thought of your head, shaking the sound of his degrading, scratching voice out of your head.

while waiting for him, you head over to the bag labeled "SAN" to get his suit ready.

just by taking the jacket out by the hanger, you can already tell this was definitely choi san's. the shoulders of his jacket made the plastic hanger look like it was a child's one. the difference between the broad shoulders and tiny waistline was evident. and not to mention the deep neckline on the jacket, similar to mingi's and seonghwa's. but if you can remember choi san's build, when you looked up at him towering over you last night, you wouldn’t be surprised if more than just his neck would be visible when he put this on.

"personally, i think it's not enough. how am i supposed to dance in that thing?"

you whip around to see him leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed. he was wearing the same frown he had when he was at your trailer door.

you put the jacket down, turning back around and refusing to make eye contact with him. "do you even know how to knock? stop sneaking up on me."

he walks over to you and the jacket. he takes it from you, feeling the frabic under his fingers. "no, i don't think i will. i think it's payback for the way you spoke to me yesterday."

you grip on the chair next you so he can't see the anger fuming in you again. can he just shut up and be normal like the rest of the members?

you force a smile and you walk away from him, trying to keep a healthy distance between the two of you. “can you please just put this on so we can get this over with it?"

he clutches it to his chest and tilts his head, pouting. "i just walked in here, goddamn. you want me gone already?" he clicks his tongue.

you move back to the table to grab your measuring tape. you weren’t putting him. "i would prefer to speak to you as little as possible." you turn back to him. "since you said you never want to see me-"

you stop in your tracks when you come face to face with back muscles. san's back. you're staring right into his bare skin as he had already started to take his clothes off to try on the jacket.

he turns around holding the shirt he was wearing ten second ago and you come face to face with his bare chest now. you felt a little overhwelmed. he wasn't even in makeup or any clothes. just his plaid pants and no shirt. you could see the hint of the temporary tattoo of an 'A' peaking out of his pants on his lower abdomen. he was toned. really toned. there were ridges over his chest and you could clearly see the shape of muscle in his upper chest. his nipples were hard. maybe he was cold. or maybe he-

"don't stop on my accord. what were you saying? since i said what?" he threw his shirt on the ground and started taking off his pants.

you shielded your eyes. "you don't need to get undressed here, san." you point to the closet, still putting your head in your elbow. "the members just got changed in there.

san just rolls his eyes as he takes his pants off. "c'mon. you're telling me you've never seen a guy's body before? i don't mind" he put his hand over his heart. "honest to god. and besides. you should get a good look at me before. you know, to make sure this jacket will fit." he shakes it in front of your face.

you look at him now over your fingers, shielding your eyes from below his abdomen. the way your body reacted to just seeing his chest, there's no telling what you would do if you saw anything below his waist.

"i think i'm good for now, just...." you stare at the way his back muscles tighten as he lifts his arms up to get the jacket over his head. the ends of his black hair brushing his shoulders and his biceps flexing. he turns back around at you once the jacket is through both of his arms and he starts pulling the buttons through the loops. but you can tell he's clearly struggling. probably just to get you to help him.

"it won't- go in," he grunts, trying to pull the little button through. you roll your eyes at his feigned anger. you groan under your breath and grab his jacket, realigning it and slipping each button into the holes. he was like a helpless child that wanted your attention.

you try your hardest to not look straight ahead at the grooves of muscle on his chest and the shadow of his pecks near the opening of the jacket.

god, it was not this difficult with any of the members. they were so easy to work with and did not make your job more difficult, more distracting. something about san just made you so infuriated, so tense. but you could also feel something pooling your stomach when you looked at the way the jacket hugged his waist.

"there," you assert, stepping back to admire how he fits the jacket. and so you can get away from his intoxicating presence.

san does a 360 in the mirror, flexing his arms and moving around in different directions to test the movement within the jacket. it fit very well. but you could tell by the concerned look on his face, it wasn't quite right.

"there's too much.." he starts, pulling at the neck and trying to make more space in the jacket. "i need more freedom to move, this thing just has too much...everywhere. and it's tight."

looking from behind, you can tell san's jacket was about to bust open. his back and shoulders were so big it made it hard to find a suit jacket that could fit a body like his. clearly, whoever made this still could not do him justice.

however, you remembered one of san's stage outfits having a slit between his shoulder blades to give him more leg (or shoulder) room. while san continues to pull at his shirt, you grab the scissors.

"hold still," you tell him and grab onto his shoulders from the back to keep him from moving. taking the black fabric on his back and pinching it, you cut about a half foot size slit right in between his shoulder blades.

when you finished, you struggled to want to let go of his shoulder's. you felt a sort of security feeling shorter than san and you kind of enjoyed holding on to the muscles under his jacket.

but he did the work for you, stepping out from your hands and looking at himself in the mirror again. this time he was able to move his arms and back muscles much more comfortably. he gave you a big grin from the mirror.

"much better. just a small tweak, but i feel better about this already." he turned to you. "is there anything else you need then? because i feel pretty good as of now."

he looked down at you with his brown eyes. compared to last night, the stone face he wore as his lips twitched at you, san looked almost...cute. or something like that. you almost felt glad you could make him this happy.

“that’s something he’s never wanted.”

yunho's voice reminds you; now, san's pout looks more like a manipulation tactic.

you point the scissors in san's face, "my only request, choi san, is to let me know how that jacket holds up. and don't wear it to rehearsal. i don't want to run the risk of you ruining it before show."

"damn, okay." he holds his hands up like you just pointed a loaded gun and not fabric scissors. "but put those things down. im not gonna hurt you, baby."

you roll your eyes and slam the scissors on the table. "see? this is what i'm talking about. stop calling me...names. or anything other than y/n."

he rolls his eyes with a shit-eating grin, "i'm just trying to be nice for once."

your gaze is locked into that shit grin you want to wipe off his face. it's a shame he was such an ass because he looked really fucking good at this moment.

your grip tightened and curled on the scissors on the table. "after last night, i have trouble believing you even know what that word means."

san crosses his arms, his neckline opening and showing more of his chest. you keep eye contact with him.

"last night? you mean when i came close to touching your-"

"hello?" a voice at the door. yunho's.

god bless for all the interruptions today.

you shoot san one more stern look and he's silently laughing to himself, ignoring you.

"i think that means its my time to go." he put's two fingers to his brow and then points to you. "see ya, baby"

he opens the door to see yunho straightening his shirt. he freezes when he realizes it's san at the door.

san pats his shoulder. "keep her warm for me." and he walks out.

it was finally time for the boys rehearsal and you decided to watch today. scared of seeing san yesterday, you decided to not let him get to you again today.

you sat behind the stage mix, right across from the extended stage. you had a perfect view of everything and it almost felt like you were getting a private concert.

you crossed your legs and laid back in your arena chair. it reminded you of the feeling of being a k-pop fan before this, before you were offered this job. screaming in these seats at the men on stage flashing their smiles and dancing, losing your voice to your own screams, your heart beating out of your chest from the adrenaline.

but now you're sitting in this arena as someone who knows these boys like colleagues. even might have a toxic flirtationship with one...

"cmon, no one will care," yunho had said to you as you checked the fit of his button-down a couple hours prior. "you deserve a vip view of an ateez concert- one without any of the fans competing for our attention."

you rolled your eyes and shrugged your shoulders. "i know someone who might care if i'm there."

yunho grabbed both your shoulders and bent down to match your eye level. "y/n, please don't tell me you're letting him get to you again. just ignore him. he's an ass."

you look into yunho's big brown eyes. yunho was so thoughtful and caring and you had only just met these boys. how could he be so sweet, touching your shoulder and looking into your eyes? but his bandmate didn't even know how to hold a conversation that didn't poke at the insufferable sexual tension hanging between the two of you whenever you had to be alone with san.

you pouted, slightly. "i'm trying, but he just finds new ways to get under my skin and be a piece of shit when he talks to me."

a really fucking hot piece of shit. but you digress.

yunho grips your shoulder harder. "you're going to come down to our rehearsal and have some fun. you deserve it."

suddenly, the lights turned off. the beginning chimes of hala hala could be heard throughout the arena. it finally hits you you're getting a front-row view of one of ateez's most powerful songs since debut.

you stuck your head a little higher up to get a better look over the stage mix. you could see eight silhouettes walking out from the main stage and you tried to make out the shape of each one.

from the left, seonghwa had on a white shirt and black pants barely covering his ankles, already donning the pointy dress shoes he was probably going to wear during tonight's show.

yeosang had on a grey compression shirt that really hugged everything in. and matched it with his black dress pants.

hongjoong donned a bare face with black baggy basketball shorts and high top jordans with brown socks. his hair could be seen peeking out from his hoodie.

yunho had on a baggy black t shirt, but wore light grey joggers. when he saw you in the crowd, his eyes lit up, breaking the trance hala hala had placed him under in order to wave an awkward hi to you. you grinned and waved your fingers back.

jongho had on a dark blue flannel and black joggers and running sneakers, holding his deep purple microphone in his left hand.

mingi had on his off white beanie, almost covering his eyes and all his hair, also donning a hoodie with a beige flannel over it. very boyfriend-esque; a striking juxtaposition to his onstage persona that he would release tonight.

wooyoung's hair was wet from a shower and slicked back by the water, therefore he was wearing his black windbreaker that reached almost to his knees with grey sweatpants.

and then at the end, you could see san wearing-

you froze.

san was not wearing his normal dancewear. anything could be better than this. even seeing him totally shirtless again from a couple feet away.

anything was better than the fact he was wearing exactly what you told him not to.

he walked out in his black and red jacket you just cut for him, the one you specifically told him to avoid wearing before the show.

but since when did choi san ever listen to something you asked of him?

you're jaw locked and you squinted your eyes at him. his gaze went from hala hala intimidating to another shit-eating grin and a silent laugh, right in your face.

oh, you were going to fucking kill him.

the members started dancing together in unison as the pre-chorus hit. but you only watched him carefully.

as it built to the chorus, san's part came up where he pumped his fist down to make the members shake behind him.

he looked directly at you as he pumped his arms down on each beat, tongue peaking out his lips and his eyebrows raising. you kept looking at him. don't fucking try anything.

unfortunately, the song continues with san performing like he's never wanted to impress someone more. he flung his body on the stage floor and kicked high enough his pants almost ripped. you just crossed your fingers he didn't mess up the jacket you fixed for him before the show even started.

if the jacket ripped during the show, it wouldn't matter as much. the fans might even swoon at the thought of seeing san's jacket rip from the sheer width of his shoulders.

but as his stylist, you didn't want san to get on that platform during their first song with a ruined outfit.

but san couldn't give less of a fuck about that. as long as he was getting under your skin, that's all that mattered to him.

finally, as the bridge built to its climax, you watched san growl something inhumane before the dance break.

outside of the seething anger you felt towards san, you couldn't deny the presence that oozed off of him while he was on stage. even in an empty arena, he was performing his hardest and pushing himself to an extent that the average human body couldn't reach. and no matter how much you wanted to ignore him, no matter how much you wanted him to get off stage, your eyes couldn't help but be entranced by his face the whole song.

finally, the music cuts and you look at the members lying on the ground, huffing thick air into their mics and holding their hands on their chests to catch their breath.

on the front stage, you see san laying on his back his arm over his head, nipples peaking out from under the jacket he so carelessly wore.

crossing your finger, he finally uses his arms as leverage to stand up. he sits up and turns his back to you, revealing what was left of the slit you gave him.

to your dismay, the slit of fabric no longer existed, but the entire jacket was split down the center.

the fabric was curling down out of the jacket, the skin on his back on display for you to stare at as you could even see the sweat dripping down, down, down-

"san!" you stood up. you stared him down from where you were sitting fifty feet away from the stage.

san turned to face you, his hair dripping sweat and covering his eyes. he blew a bang out of his face and blew you a kiss

"you're so fucking dense," you growl under your breath as san closes the door to the dressing room, his jacket in two pieces and sweat soaking his body.

"you're just so fucking arrogant, idiotic, stupid, so-"

"i get it!" he yells back, running his fingers through his hair. "can you shut up? oh my god. you really are annoying, sometimes, do you know that?"

not this again. you rolled your eyes at his comment. "i swear to god, san. if you don't stop berating me for every little thing i say-"

"maybe you should unclench a little, y/n. it's just a jacket, jesus christ." he scoffs.

you clench your first. you've just about had it with him.

"maybe you don't care because either way you're getting paid after this, but it's my job to take care of your clothes." you cross your arms at him. "and i gave you a specific order not to wear that before the show. was it really that hard to follow?”

san sits back in the dressing room chair, putting his hands behind his head, now unfazed as ever. he laughs.

"yeah, i heard. but i didn't care." he sighs and a smile grows over his face.

you scream from inside your throat. you wanted nothing more than to punch that grin right off his face and show him how you really feel.

"well, now your concert jacket is destroyed because you wanted to make an absolute fool of yourself as a sick way to," you take a deep breath to control your anger. "i don't know- get back at me for telling you off yesterday?"

he leans back in the chair, biceps showing through the tight jacket an he tilts his head back to show the way his adams apple bobs out of his throat. a deep chuckle leaves his mout.

"yeah you could say that." he sits back up and this time, he spreads his legs open, leaning forward and putting his head into his right hand. "but i also wanted to see your reaction to seeing me like that on stage."

you crossed your arms. "like what?"

he stands up and walks over to you. slowly, he turns around to show you a xclose up his jacket.

the rip was infinitely bigger in person, but damn you could see every muscle in his back. sweat from rehearsal was still dripping down his back. he smelled sweaty but with a hint of a sharp, clean cologne that made you want to grab him and bury your nose right into his skin.

you pretended you didn't like seeing his back like that. "what am i supposed to be looking at?" you poke.

he turns back around and faces you, his grin making an appearance in front of you again. his hand reaches to your hair and brushes it out of your face.

"i need you to stop pretending you don't feel what i'm feeling right now."

your mouth gapes open. you couldn't believe he was saying this right now, in a situation so serious. however, something about the way his fingers felt brushing your forehead, you can't deny, that familiar heat was pooling in your stomach. part of you wanted to vomit, but also have san touch your skin one more time to bring it back.

you set your jaw. "i dont know what you're talking about. you really need to learn when to shut up and listen-"

"ohmygod, y/n." he grabs your chin this time and tilts it up, looking down at you. "i saw the way you were eye fucking me on stage earlier. cut the bullshit."

you slit your eyes and push him off you and he stumbles back, slightly in shock you actually fought back.

you stand still. staring at him, covered in sweat, hair over his eyes, plunging neckline putting his nipples back on display. it was really hard to want to punch him across the face when he looked like that, when he smelled like that, when he talked like that.

you stare at each other for a little longer. finally, san walks closer once more. this time he puts his hand on the wall over your head, looking down at you.

you stare daggers into his forehead. he just smirks and cracks his neck.

"no snappy response this time, huh?"

you stare back up at him.

"fuck you, choi san."

he grins, his eyes closing and he breathes in through his teeth sharply. he reopens them.

"fuck you, too."

his lips were on yours before you could even register that he pushed you against the wall with that much force.

the kiss was sloppy, desperate. you weren't even sure if there were any feelings in it. but you both knew it stemmed from the unbearable sexual attraction you felt to one another in this moment.

his hands traveled from the wall to your waist, squeezing them and twirling his fingers in the ends of your shirt. your hand curled under his arm and you squeezed the skin on his back to hold on as he kept his lips glued to yours, not even separating them to breathe.

you didn't know what you were doing. but you didn't care

"fuck, baby," he finally breathes into your mouths, "you're so-"

"just shut the fuck up and kiss me," you breathe back, putting your lips back on his and wrapping your arms around his neck.

he takes his hands off your waist and puts his hand under your thighs. he lifts you up, your ankles locking around his waist in return. your lips never separate from his as his mouth opens to accept your tongue in return.

he puts you on the dressing table, pulling at the waistband of your jeans.

his fingers brush your lower abdomen, just below your bellybutton and you clench at the feeling of someone being so close to you, so close to your core.

you smile into his lips and laugh a little. "san, i swear to god,"

"what?" he says, smiling back and dipping his hands past the waistband this time. "i'm not doing anything."

"i don't want you anywhere near my-" you cut yourself with a breathy moan out of your lips.

"hm? what were you saying?" his hands were now past the band of your underwear, cupping the shape of your heat and pressing slowly. "you don't me anywhere near your...."

another moan, louder this time, escapes you. you tilt your head back. "san, just shut the fuck up please. i don't wanna hear your voice."

san dips one finger little farther than the others as he leans into your ear. "yeah, but baby, i wanna hear yours."

you bite your lip and hold back a third moan, not trying to stroke san's ego already more than it has, considering he got his hands far as they've gone. but the feeling of his finger dipping inside you like that made it hard to keep your morals.

"san, san, san, please, i-" you stutter. he looks back down at you now. he removes his other hand from your waist to fist your hair, tilting your head back so all he could see was your bare neck.

"use your words, princess. or i'm gonna make it harder this time." you felt a second finger make it's way to your entrance.

san breathes into your neck and starts leaving open-mouth kisses all over your collarbone, his grip on your hair still strong as ever.

"san, please, i need- fuck!" you stutter again, this time with a whince of pain from your hair pulling out of your head by his grip on it.

"can't believe i got you to fall apart like this so fast. maybe i should just fuck you right here for being such a whore." he kisses your neck once more. " i didn't know you had this in you, but fuck. i'm not complaining."

your legs were still wrapped around his waist so you started to feel a bulge pushing through his pants. but you could not say anything with the way your nipples were piercing through your white t-shirt.

"is that what you are?" san puts his lips to your ear. "a whore? hm? letting a man you just met touch you like-" he inserts his second finger to meet the other one. "-this."

you shut your eyes tight, breathing heavily, trying to hold back your moans once again. you didn't want san to stop, butt he thought of admitting it to him made you want to vomit.

you breathed out once more and looked into his eyes.

"n-no." you choked out.

san raises an eyebrow. "hm? oh really?" his fingers start pumping faster.

you nod fast, biting your lip. don't stop, please don't stop.

"so you're a fucking virgin, huh?" he says, louder this time. his hand releases on your hair and throws your head forward.

"makes sense," he says, his fingers still pumping at the same, delicious speed. "i've never felt a pussy this tight, fuck. i bet i'm the first one to be this far inside you"

you suck in another breath. "san, oh my god, please, stop talking."

his knuckles curl in you the moment you let that out your mouth. god fuck, how did he get so deep that fast?

san laughs in your ear again "i think i should just stick my cock in this pussy already, that'd stretch you out faster, hm?"

you can feel a third finger making its way. you're not sure if you're ready to cross that bridge.

san inches the tip of his third finger to your clit "just admit you want my cock right here-"

"y/n? are you in there?"

the voice outside shakes you both and you jump right off the table. san pulls his fingers out of you and tucks them behind his back.

"hello?" yunho.

you look at yourselves in the mirror. your nipples were hard and visible through your shirt.

san's jacket was wrinkled and his cock was hard in his pants.

you put your hoodie on to cover your nipples and the wet stain in your jeans. san sits on the chair to cover himself.

"coming!" you say to yunho outside.

you turn to look at san one more time before opening the door. but instead of wearing the same mortified face you couldn't get off your face from the last ten minutes, san wore the biggest smile you ever saw, looking more content than ever.

part 4: fri july 29th

series masterlist | previous chapter

tags: @mulletjoonsupremacy @sakura777chan @lemonhongjoong @moonsangie @kitten4sannie @sanasstrawberry @baguette-atiny @ka-ni-ma @wooyoungsbestie @choisansnotsolegalwife @s10an @atinytinaa @nonclassyparty @kwanisms @timeofwave @sangiluvem @sanstreasure0305 @starcrossedsan @kha0sblossom @diorwoo

#i finally got to the smut god bless #please give this love or i wont have any motivation to keep going #ateez smut #ateez x reader #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez san smut #ateez mingi #ateez yeosang #ateez scenarios #ateez yunho #ateez san fanfic #ateez san #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez fluff #ateez make out #ateez series

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dazais-guardian-angel · 1 year

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Dazai truly has become Oda in every way imaginable now. :’ ) the final words he gives to Sigma are the exact same words Oda gives to Dazai in the original scene Asagiri wrote for the end of the Dark Era stage play, 後は頼んだよ, “I will leave the rest to you.”

And I really love the progression of the way his eyes look in this chapter, and how Sigma is allowed to have this moment of questioning and rebelling against all the faith Dazai had naturally been leading him to place in him up to this point, which is what I hoped would happen. He’s been confused ever since Dazai first chose him, and everything he’s ever known about how everyone sees/treats him turned upside down by Dazai’s words and actions, and just when he’s finally started to feel like he’s found some hope and lowered his guard, Dazai pulls him back underwater, instantly reinforcing all of Sigma’s trust issues and reinforcing that he should never believe in anyone, because (he thinks) everyone lives to manipulate other people. Dazai’s dark eyes here reinforce that, too, and the other panels around this point where they look white and hollow and demonic, all like Fyodor’s. He appears like an evil, looming force pulling him back under, trying to kill him, when Sigma is so close to the freedom of the air he desperately wants (aka free from pain, which is what he’s been seeking his whole life).

But then Dazai makes this face, and the first one I posted above, and Sigma understands, even without words, that Dazai doesn’t have evil intent: on the contrary, he actually is bound and determined to save his life -- and the light in his eyes comes out through this determination and kindness, arguably the most light we’ve ever seen his eyes have in the entire manga (in the “I leave the rest to you” panel too). The “No” could be Dazai wordlessly telling him to not leave the water, but my first assumption was that it was Sigma telling himself no, stopping his own train of thought about Dazai being the same as Fyodor and someone he shouldn’t have trusted -- he soon realizes why Dazai stopped him, and that he’s still going to try to save him, that he wasn’t wrong about him, and it’s all because Dazai’s earnest expressions get through to him.

And it’s just so heartwarming to see how far Dazai has come. :’ ) He tried so hard to save Sigma (doing the most physical action we’ve ever seen him do, really), did his best to be reassuring and comforting to him afterwards, and then reaffirmed his promise to ensure he escaped Meursault alive, his final words to Sigma echoing Oda’s and his last action being to save an orphan, just like Oda did in his last moments. Obviously Dazai isn’t actually going to die, he’ll be saved somehow, but I do think as of right now he really does think this is the end for him, and that he didn’t foresee the elevator dropping -- he was examining the wires a few chapters ago because he thought he might need to know how to open the doors in case Fyodor pulled an uno reverse, hence why he looks more annoyed than shocked when the water starts, but here, when the drop collision sequence is initiated, he looks genuinely shook in comparison. There’d be no reason for him to give the thumbs up if he knew more danger was on the way, either; that’d just be cruel. No, I don’t think he saw this coming, and it’s important that that turns out to be the case: it’s important that he spent what he believes to have been his last moments saving someone like Oda wanted for him, and doing what Oda would have done in the same situation. That doesn’t mean that it’s okay that Dazai throws his life away so easily, and cares so little for his own safety; he still has a long way to go in that regard. But it’s still so beautiful to see how much he’s changed, and how much he’s truly begun to embody Oda and his legacy; the fact that he messed up and miscalculated, because Dazai isn’t infallible, but in turn didn’t hesitate to use his last moments to save Sigma. Oda would be so proud for everything he did here. :’ ) 💖

There are a lot of options for how Dazai will be saved, and by who, but personally I hope (and I kind of expect) that Sigma chooses to not give up on him and ultimately plays a role in saving his life, to return the favor and repay him for his kindness. Not only would it be a beautiful way to initiate Sigma’s ADA entrance exam as people have said, but it would bring the Dazai > Atsushi > Sigma chain full circle: Dazai saved Atsushi at the start of the series, allowing him to (spiritually) save Sigma at sky casino thanks to the growth fostered in him by Dazai, and now finally, Sigma could potentially save Dazai thanks to Atsushi kickstarting his own growth (and Dazai continuing it). Fyodor is overly cocky right now and so tunnel-visioned on killing Dazai, it’s possible that he has no idea that Sigma managed to escape the elevator and is now a wild card; even if Sigma doesn’t go as far as killing Fyodor himself (which I don’t want, tbh; that’s endgame stuff arcs down the line and imo Nikolai and Dazai should be the ones involved with that), he could throw a wrench in the jailbreak duel, and help Dazai and Chuuya get out alive. It would be poetic, and only fitting, for Fyodor to underestimate and be outdone by the kind of person Dazai told him is the strongest in chapter 77 -- a self-proclaimed “ordinary man” -- who could only have the strength to take such action thanks to the chain of kindness that Oda originally started. 💖

#bungou stray dogs #bsd 106.5 #meta #this chapter was literally everything i could have wanted i am SO EMOTIONAL #I WILL NEVER BE OVER IT #ASAGIRI GIVING ME LITERALLY EVERYTHING I EVER COULD HAVE WANTED #DAZAI HAS GROWN SOOOO MUCH HE'S BECOME SO MUCH LIKE ODA I COULDN'T BE MORE PROUD 😭😭😭💖💖💖#as soon as i saw that big panel of his face i was like........ he looks like oda......... ASAGIRI I SEE YOUUUUUU #AND THE FINAL WORDS #I SEE YOUUUUUUUUUU #ISTG IF DAZAI THINKS ABOUT ODA WHEN HE THINKS HE'S GONNA DIE BEFORE HE GETS SAVED I WILL SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST #ASAGIRI PLEASE THIS IS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY I WILL CRYYYYYYY 😭🥺🥹💖#Dazai was so much like Oda here and Sigma looked just like Atsushi in that one panel DONT TOUCH MEEEE #THIS WHOLE CHAPTER WAS SO PERFECT #I NEED SIGMA TO SAVE HIM NOW #the longest chapter we've gotten in AGES and it was a banger god bless #tbh i really needed this after season 4 lmao i needed a reminder of why i love this series so much :''''') something to soothe my rage #asagiri saw my bitterness at anime sigma and was like 'here u go babe i got your sigma and dazai and oda feast'#probably means next month will be short again and a pov change lmao 🥲💔#gonna enjoy this while it lasts #anyway i was really happy to see that moment of Sigma getting mad even if it didn't last long (and for a beautiful reason)#because he Deserved that #(because that's what i wrote in my fic and i feel vindicated now even if that wasn't the main focus of this chapter looool oops-)

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