#blood gulch disaster

[rvb-relationship-royale]

RVB Romantic Relationship Royale- Round 2, Part 3, Poll 2

#rvb relationship royale #red vs blue #rvb #poll competition #rvb polls #church rvb #leonard church #lavernius tucker #tucker rvb #michael j caboose #caboose rvb #dick simmons #simmons rvb #dexter grif #grif rvb #sarge rvb #donut rvb #franklin delano donut #church/tucker/caboose/simmons/grif/sarge/donut #blood gulch disaster #south rvb #agent south dakota #479er #479er rvb #south/479er #south/479er rvb

[wbne]

oh

i just realised lopez and donut have no idea what happened

#lopez was last at the undisclosed location and donut is just MIA #theyre going to come to blood gulch and see sarge's grave and grif missing and simmons all alone on red team #reminds me of how tucker was missing for the whole of S6 and then he comes back and church is just. dead #rvb #rvb19 #rvb19 spoilers #rvb restoration spoilers #“blue team problems” this “blue teams problems” that what about red team disasters. this is a red team disaster moment

[magnetarbeam]

Sometimes seeing @i-think-in-metaphors 's stuff makes me want to write a Star Wars crossover fic, but the only other fandom I've gone out of my way to look at stuff from in the last year is Red vs Blue.

On my previous blog, something like two to four years ago, I pitched an RvB/TCW crossover where the distress call from Chorus throws a wrench in everyone's plans for the galaxy. Now that I've been so consumed by Legends, though, my concept is summarily the Blood Gulch Crew and probably the Freelancers they're closest to (no state names, of course, because I'm not trying to justify that) existing in the GFFA, going through an approximation of various Wraith Squadron plots.

The thought that spawned the idea was that even as it is, they work in the same ways as Wedge's disaster squadron.

#red vs blue #star wars legends

[stareiiez]

Having a Kid with Lavernius Tucker ( HCS. )

A/N : hihihihih!!! long time no see yah goofs! I’ve been gone for years but i was busy dealing with life and new jobs and what not. i’m just in time for RVB back to base-ics coming out!

why not make this place come alive with good ole having babies with tucker hcs.

Warnings: none, just rusty floof. 

Lavernius Tucker x Fem (AFAB ) Reader

                             creds to jomeimei12 for the art in header

----- this dude has done this before. he's a father. this dude birthed a whole ass alien out of his .  .  .  yeah.

--- when you go to him with a positive pregnancy test in hand, not going to lie, this boy BOOKS it.

---- its old habits so excuse him for not breaking out in a happy dance and screaming for joy towards the sky, he is physically pale. he's a terrible actor and clearly, he's not happy for a few hot minutes.

--- whether you're in a relationship or not, this lad can only handle one baby at a time, and right now his body has shut down and left him running out the door for an hour or so.

------ when he returns? immediate apologizes, 

---- perhaps gets on his hands and knees for his goddess and doesn't shut up til you manage to shut him up or forgive him till you lose your voice. 

---- frankly, tucker loves being a father, so when he calms down. he's the biggest supporter you're EVER going to get. 

------ immediate anxious dad mode regardless if he's more nervous than you for this shit. 

---- he knows the pains of brief morning sickness and weird cravings you get at three am and demands him to run out for salt and vinegar chips dipped in Nutella with pickles. 

--- this dude HATES the doctor though. when it comes to checkups and scans when the months come and go and your stomach gets bigger, he would suggest Donut be your plus one while he waits in the lobby of the hospital. 

----- is he flirting with the nurse at the front desk? maybe. but that's totally up for debate since he.s here for you and you only. Sure he still has those un-loyal tendencies. the straying eyes too far low, the once over and wink? he does that.

--- it stopped bothering you after a while, don't worry. 

------ the moment he heard an actual heartbeat at one of your appointments? he was on the monitor like glue. his eyes were bugged out of his skull and watching the blurry image of something that resembled ' Junior 's twin brother'.

---his words, not yours.

----- preparing for the baby boy or girl was a whirlwind of Tucker putting his sense of style into making sure his baby was dressed to the nines constantly. even the finest duckie footed pajamas he could find off the internet. 

- this was his way of making parenting fun, dressing his baby up to look like him, hell he would make the both of them match if you didn't get your infant ready for the day.

------ The baby's nursery was an homage to Blood Gulch. Poorly painted outlines of the Reds and Blue troopers were on the walls in pastel versions of their armor colors. Don't forget Carolina and Uncle Wash. They were included too.

----You best bet said troopers showed up to help Tucker properly hold a paintbrush and make sure he didn't have the nursery look like a disaster. 

------ Donut helped with every other little detail, to make the entire thing unisex. He even designed the crib and mobile to include the baby's extended family drifting through the air completed with cute little glow-in-the-dark stars.

------ As for the actual delivery of a said baby? Washington drove both you and Tucker to the hospital for that.

------Tucker was on the floor vomiting from the sight of catching the tail end of your water breaking and running around half awake screaming on the phone for Wash to get over here before the baby ' uses your coochie for a slip and slide in the living room.’

---- No baby bag, no nothing you guys were raw dogging this shit going 90 on the highway in the back of Wash's minivan and you screaming with every contraction. 

------- Bringing your brilliant baby to this very world was something Tucker managed to miss out on the moment all three of you were settled in the hospital room.

------ Tucker had taken one look between your legs the moment the birth process started and he fell flat on his face after giving a rather girlish scream.

--- he didn't wake up till two hours later, yet by then. you had a baby swaddled in blue held in loving arms

------ Junior had a new baby brother and you were outmatched with men in your household, unfortunately. 

----- With a new baby, it was far more different than raising an alien for Tucker's sake. It came with a lot of sleepless nights of crying and Tucker always taking the night shift for you to feed the new bundle of joy in the house.

------- For someone that was a grade a ' womanizer ', he was proud of the little things he did and got to experience as a father. he LOVED his kid with his entire heart. 

----- He was the father to carry pictures of his baby in the creases of his wallet, and his phone was full of videos of you and the baby he made with you. 

--------- He didn't mind babysitting when you had to run out for odds and ends, but usually, that involved calling the boys over and him mostly bragging about smart and awesomely cool his kid was to the rest of the gang.

------- He was the little wuss to cry when your baby begin to crawl around the house, and with crawling came the baby's first steps.

- that's when he bawled and threw himself all over you with snot dripping from his nose.

------- Tucker loved his baby, and even came up with the most badass name ever for his little lookalike. All brown curly hair, warm brown chocolate eyes yet your (s/c) he was a handsome young man. 

- Sebastian Tucker, the second best name he could come up with since Junior Junior Tucker was off the table. 

#rvb #red vs blue #rvb fanfic #rvb fanfiction #lavernius tucker #tucker x reader #rvb tucker x reader #lavernius tucker x reader #rvb x reader #red team #blue team #agent washington #rvb headcanons #domestic rvb headcannons #bluebird writes rvb

[skywillsometimeswrite]

Which Hermit I think would get along with each RVB character

Xisuma and Wash. Can be seen as incredibly smart or incredibly stupid depending on company. Will take charge if they have to, but will gladly let others more qualified do it for them.

Mumbo and Simmons. Both incredibly tall nerds who like machinery who also get a little crazy every now and again, especially when they are with their G-named friend. Similarly, always gets fed up with their G-friend’s antics.

Wels and Tucker. Hear me out, maybe not Blood Gulch Tucker but Chorus Tucker. Laid back unless he can’t be. Takes fighting seriously and is one of the most capable fighters. Plays into their friends crazy ideas, and has a lot of his own. Has big “Protagonist” energy. I wouldn’t doubt that Wels would laugh at some of Tucker’s jokes either (Mr.Laugh-At-”Knight’s-Hoe”).

Joe and Sarge. Reject every natural way of doing things. Backhanded compliments. Southern accents. Wages a war on things that really don’t need to be waged war against.

False and Tex. Badass. Can and Will kick your ass. Pretty blondes. Surrounded by idiots, but is an idiot sometimes herself. She won’t admit it though.

Bdubs and Donut. Interior designing. Disaster prone. Unapologetically enthusiastic. Wants to make people happy.

Scar and Caboose. Lovable idiots. Has crazy out of this world ideas and makes them work. You can’t upset them, its against the law. But also if you manage to, how??? A lot of deadpan humor that drives people up the wall.

Doc and Church. Finds the stupidest things amusing. Grumpy. Acts like they hate everyone but can and will die for them. Unreasonably paranoid about a lot. Robo-bros.

#this is all i got right now #i'll add more if i think about them #hermitcraft #red vs blue #rvb #xisuma #washington #mumbo jumbo #simmons #welsknight #tucker #joe hills #sarge #false symmetry #tex #bdubs #donut #goodtimeswithscar #caboose #docm77 #church #fic fodder #sky speaks

[anneapocalypse]

RvB 17.01-17.06

I'm back.

Let's get into it.

Spoilers for episodes 1-6. Crossposted from dreamwidth.

First, why I decided to catch up sooner than expected: I had already decided I was going to need to catch up before RvB Rare Pair Week, which starts May 5 and wherein, no doubt, spoilers will abound. What prompted me to jump back in a few weeks early was one particularly spoiler I ran into on tumblr while checking in for the Rare Pair Week blog—something that made me go, "Huh. Maybe there's a chance they'll fix it." It ate at my curiosity for a few days, and I decided it was time.

I definitely was not ready to watch this season when it started at the beginning of March. I had barely digested season 16, and I couldn't muster much more than a sense of dread for a new season trying to wrap up this arc. I decided it would be better to wait and catch up later.

That was the right decision. Season 17 starts out... rough, and I can guarantee I would not have enjoyed sitting with those first few episodes week to week. But now, having had the opportunity to watch all six thus far at one go, here's where I am with it. I expect to have more thoughts, and probably shift on some things, after I've had time to watch them again and let them settle. These are first thoughts only.

Episode 1 is still terrible. It was very easy to remember why I noped out immediately on this premier and I found myself tensing up as I rewatched it, having to remind myself that it was probably at least uphill from here.

What is Chrovos? If they are an AI, how are they being held in a cage made out of time? What does a paradox even mean in this—no, you know what, fuck it. This plot is Dumb As Rocks and it is not going to make sense and I am accepting that going in.

All I can hope for is some kind of repair to the characterization disasters of last season, and that is what I'm going to be focusing on. I want two things:

I want Wash and Carolina's conflict resolved.

I want better treatment for Tucker.

So here's where we are.

Wash's introduction was painful to watch (I'm so tired of loopy!Wash) but once Donut snapped him out of it? I started to really like what was happening. Wash not only sounding like himself again, but being proactive! And am I actually getting Wash and Donut relationship development in 2019?? Are we going to actually address their history? And despite deep reservations in the first episode, I find I really like what this season is doing with Donut himself. I never thought I'd say this, but I am super on board with where this seems to be going.

I was definitely sitting on nails for the first few episodes where Wash is still angry at Carolina and his whole "I'm never speaking to her again" line physically hurt me. But the whole reason I decided to catch up now was a piece of dialogue I saw on tumblr, and I've never been so happy to be spoiled on anything. Knowing that was coming got me through the rough bits.

We got that resolution. Importantly, not only did Wash resolve things with Carolina, but we dug a little into where his (justified) anger came from. He was angry because he considers Carolina his best friend (STARS IN MY EYES), because he believed they were close enough for her to tell him anything. It felt like a betrayal of that connection to him. What brings him around is understanding where Carolina's mistake came from—how accustomed she is to being alone, having no one to lean on. And in that, he both finds it in his heart to forgive her, and realizes how much having her to lean on means to him.

It's good. It's really good. I feel like I can breathe again.

And Wash himself, once we get past the goofy Schrodinger's Wash, is better written this season than he has been in a very long time. It's so refreshing to see him being proactive, to see him exploring his own history and self-reflecting as he does so. "Is this how Donut feels all the time?" is the best Wash line since season 11.

Also it was a pleasure to see the Triplets again, and their role in helping Wash figure his shit out, brief though it was, was very charming.

For Personal Reasons, I really did not want this story to touch Carolina's lost years after Freelancer, so that is another point at which I was sitting on nails. But they did touch it, and... I don't hate it. After sitting with it for a day, I actually think I like it. Does it joss some headcanons and some things I haven't yet posted for Radio Silence... yeah. But perhaps not so severely as I initially felt. And given that Radio Silence has been my white whale of a fic for several years now, adding a fresh change to it might not be a bad thing. I can live with it. I think I can even work with it.

In fact, in the limitations of machinima that required Carolina to put on Halo 2 armor so that we could bring her to Blood Gulch, I find a headcanon that I love. Even as Carolina re-enlisted under a false identity, trying (probably in vain) to create a new life for herself, she kept her Freelancer armor in storage somewhere. Deep down she knew that Agent Carolina was who she was. That one day she would be Agent Carolina again.

I unequivocally love that and am keeping it.

So, Niner has a name now. It's fine. I'll miss my headcanon name for her a bit but Ash is a fine name and I think it suits her. In general, though, I am of the opinion that they really need to chill out with the Real Names, which have been heavily overused the past few seasons. It's gotten to the point where it feels like they're doing it just to do it, and to me it doesn't have the same impact when people are calling Wash "David" who have no reason to be calling him that. I mentioned last season that I have no problem with Carolina knowing and using Wash's real name, but it's weird for her to use it in front of everyone else when there's no reason any of them would even know it. It feels particularly strange for Donut to be using Wash's real name. And as for Ash... again, it's a fine name, it's just that we didn't need to know that and there isn't actually a good reason why Wash would know that, given that they never use Niner's real name in Freelancer.

My overall assessment of season 17 at the halfway point is... I don't hate it! I actually quite like parts of it. It does feel very much like a Fix-It season, like somebody trying to fix a previous writer's mess, and that much I think was inevitable. I think it also accounts for the exposition dumping in the first few episodes, as it was necessary to get us up to speed on the new rules of the plot so we could follow along (even though it is, again, DUMB AS ROCKS).

Seasons 15 and 16 can't be undone. Some of the damage to characters and relationships and the universe itself is irreparable. But this season is putting in a pretty valiant effort so far to give us resolution without retcon. I think ultimately Wash having his injury undone yet still retaining the memories of last season and choosing to forgive Carolina (rather than simply having the conflict erased) is the best outcome I could hope for. And it gives me hope for what may come.

We've seen little of Tucker so far, and he remains one of the few who hasn't yet remembered the future. I'm hoping that's not an accident, and that it's building to some good character moments and growth for Tucker. Not to erase last season, but to build something better on top of it, to give his character some decent treatment.

I do hope they manage to save Doc also, and maybe we even get some resolution with him as well.

I don't hate it.

Six episodes left, and I'm here for the ride.

#rvb17 #rvb first spoilers #rvb spoilers

[xadoheandterra]

@gdipalomo I really struggled on this because fuck I couldn’t think of anything worth it involving found family that wasn’t angsty as all shit (my depression is coloring shit) but I finally got something together although I’m still not too happy with it. Hope you enjoy this mess of a fic! (I was gonna draw, but I couldn’t find my pencils...so I had to write something instead) Also ngl I reference my favorite Christmas Movie in this. Santa Clause is the BOMB and I will fight any who say otherwise.

Eight Little Lights

Winter was not something easily discerned in Blood Gulch, but Church had an internal clock now that he could read the day and time from as simple as could be—except even now Church found himself distracted with the insanity of the Reds, and even of the Blues, enough that he didn’t realize the date and the time until it was the day of. To be fair Church had never been the best Jew when he’d been alive—to concerned with the science of the world, computers, attempting to be a good soldier and failing—and then failing at—at something he couldn’t remember.

(Charmaine)

(David)

(being a father)

(except that wasn’t him, really)

(even if he wanted it to be)

When it did strike him, the date, time, the significance, Church felt like a gut punch had torn through him. His father would’ve had his head as a kid for forgetting—his grandmother would’ve scolded him something fierce even more—and it made him miss them for the first time in forever because for the first time in forever Church was aware. He’d never been the best Jew, that was to be fair, but he’d not once ignored the Menorah when the time came. Except now there was no Menorah, no candles to light, nothing to say for himself despite the observed tradition for twenty strong years. It tasted like ash.

As the sun dipped beneath the canyon walls that night Church didn’t light a Menorah, didn’t recite the payers, and felt like a generally shitty person for the lack of any real observance something that had been normal before Blood Gulch. Instead Church stared up at the starry night sky and wondered how his life got to be this.

Tucker dragged Church out with the promise of little nuanced talk, shooting the shit, and trying to figure out what Grif and Simmons were saying upon Red Base. Church sat against one edge, Tucker laid flat even though both knew that neither Grif nor Simmons would ever shoot at them. Blood Gulch was a game they kept going because it was familiar and because it was expected but no one really intended to kill one another anymore. Not since Flowers died.

“I swear their flirting,” Tucker grumbled. “The two should just fuck already and get it over with.”

Church snorted. “Please. Those two will continue to dance around one another until they’ve got no other choice.”

“Should just get the both of them drunk and stuff them in a closet. Think that would work?” Tucker glanced up at Church who cracked a grin, helmet off.

“Nah, I say tell ‘em they’ve beathed in magic sex pollen or something like from one of your porno’s. And get them drink. Then stick them in a closet. It would do them a load of good, wouldn’t it?”

“Damn straight,” Tucker snickered, reached out, and fist bumped Church with a grin.

Later that night Church sat atop the base and once more watched the stars, didn’t light a Menorah, didn’t’ say his prayers, and tried not to think about how upset his grandmother would be over his failings to get something this simple right. He did see Tucker sneak off the base in the middle of the night, and it made him wonder, but then he saw Tucker heading to Red Base and decided he didn’t want to know.

The third night was actually Donut’s Wine and Cheese Hour so Church found himself for a little while just forgetting and relaxing and it was blissfully perfect. Sarge really knew how to put together a functioning robotic body and fuck he didn’t realize how much he missed things like sex until he had a physical means to do so.

Sneaking into one of the heads of the various Reds and Blues as they masturbated—mainly Tucker—really didn’t quite cut it as physically being capable of something like an erection and arousal and Church had no idea what it was about Donut or the Wine and Cheese Hour that tended to become sex. It was different when it was him and Tex because those things were a violent mess of regret. This shit with Donut was different and Church liked it. His happy little bisexual ass wanted to be pampered from time to time and Donut liked to do the pampering.

Church took what he could get, let himself feel a small sliver of happiness in a cesspit of grey and depression, and moved on with his life. He didn’t quite fall asleep—he couldn’t sleep these days, but he drifted in static afterward feeling like a warm puddle of computer goo and it was nice.

The fourth day had always meant something special during Hanukah for Church and he couldn’t identify why, but as the day dawned and then moved toward dusk despite having a happy, wonderful night the night before the melancholy bit itself back into his mind with a vengeance. Church stayed in his room all day on base and stared at a photo of Tex and wondered what it was he forgot. There was something about the image that was so wrong, that had been so wrong since Blood Gulch and maybe before that even, and it gnawed at him. What was he missing?

(Allison was dead)

(it’d been just him and Charmaine for years)

(so then where was she?)

(where were the kids?)

(where was his daughter?)

Caboose lingered out of his doorway like a bad smell and more than once Church tossed a pillow, a lamp, anything at the door to get the behemoth to leave him alone because that was what he wanted. To be left alone with memories that didn’t line up quite right, with a tradition that didn’t fit, and the realization that his family was incomplete. Church ground his teeth together and tried to ignore the way Caboose spoke to Tucker in a loud whisper.

“He’s angry right now.”

“Yeah I know man. Any idea what?”

“I didn’t do it.”

“I get that dude. Maybe it’s something important about the date? Do you know what’s important about the date?”

“The santa man is coming soon. Could that be it?”

“…fuck, maybe?”

“FUCK OFF ASSHOLES!” Church screamed, threw the desk at the door, and buried himself in blankets into the silence.

Day five; still no Menorah, still feeling like an utter shitheel of a human being—dead or otherwise—and Grif shouldered open Churchs blocked off door. He was out of armor which when Grif came by the base for reasons not pertaining to ‘Red versus Blue’ he was typically sans armor—it was how they showed they meant things to be more casual than anything although usually one of the guys had something armored somewhere. Caboose was a disaster of a man and no one was safe except, for some reason, Grif. Still his arms were packed full of snack cakes and a few shitty holiday movies. Some were titles Church recognized.

“Bum over we’re having a movie day,” was all Grif said as he shoved Church to the side, piled the snacks onto the bed, and commandeered his computer.

“The fuck?” Church mumbled faintly to himself, too exhausted to really care that his space was being invaded right now. He found himself with handfuls of candy, the kind that had hidden gifts instead, Church noted, all were uniquely holiday themed although not all were necessarily Christmas themed but they were definitely holiday themed.

“I’m putting on a favorite, so deal with it,” Grif said and put in some old santa related movie that Church vaguely recognized.

“Is that…Tim fuckshisname?” Church cocked his head. He wasn’t too certain of some of the old actors that were well before his time, but he thought he recognized this one.

“Tim Allen,” Grif nodded, “and yeah.”

“…I think I remember this one.”

“Good. Then enjoy it, will you?”

Church let himself be manhandled until he found himself squashed next to Grif, the pile of candies littered in front of him, eyes glued to the computer screen as Tim Allen’s character got drawn into being Santa through magic and bullshit and bad luck. It was funny, and it was something Church didn’t realize he needed until he did and it was there.

Church’s gaze may or may not have lingered on the dreidel that very briefly entered the screen and then left, and he may have mumbled, “Used to have one of those,” half into candy that he couldn’t digest as he watched the movie with rapt attention. Grif didn’t say anything if he did.

Day six and seven of the week blurred together with restless energy that Church spent cleaning up after Grif left the following morning. He hated the way the base looked, so he cleaned. He reorganized. He reorganized again. He reorganized things a third time. Eventually an intervention was needed and it came in the form of Sarge who stormed up dressed completely in armor because it’s Sarge and Church was pretty sure the bastard slept in his red suit.

“Quit yer frenzied nonsense right this dangnabbit minute!” Sarge hollered, enough to stop Church just outside of the base who blinked and stared and wondered what he did to deserve this. “It’s a right eyesore and those two lugheads can’t stop jabberin’ about it. I can’t take it no more!”

“What?”

“Jes shoot at us or enact your damn dirty blue plot already you heathen and quit it with the cleanin’ torture!”

“What?”

Church stared, baffled at the man as he ranted and raved about the depravity of a Blue cleaning and couldn’t quite parse what he was hearing. This wasn’t typical Sarge behavior at all as usually when the man came over it was to berate Church for not taking care of himself, to beg him to come and surrender already and ‘rescue’ one of his ‘captured teammates’ or to make surrender himself for the ‘return’ of ‘one of his men’ that Church somehow captured and/or brainwashed. Church could never quite parse the insanity that tumbled out of Sarge’s mouth and blamed ninety percent of it on trauma left over from the man’s helljumper days.

Eventually Sarge took Church’s silent staring as compliance and left. Church didn’t go back to cleaning and instead wondered what alien came and replaced Sarge this time.

The last day was beautiful and Church didn’t want to get out of bed. By the time night would roll around he’d have spent eight days with no Menorah, no prayers, and feeling like an even shittier man that he felt going into the holidays. He didn’t want to leave his room—except it was Donut Wine and Cheese Hour day again and Church hated to miss those. Donut would come and physically drag him out of he missed one of those, whether they had sex or not.

Begrudgingly, as night began to fall, Church made his way over toward the cave system that he and Donut snuck off into for Wine and Cheese Hour even if he didn’t feel quite up to it. At first Church didn’t notice the lights, but then the bright red Christmas décor suddenly was in his face and he couldn’t ignore it. The cave looked as if someone set Caboose and a thrift store for Christmas and holiday paraphernalia at it and that just hurt Church’s eyes something fierce.

When he finally rounded the corner, resigned to going through this farce of whatever the guys had put together, it was to Caboose loudly proclaiming, “SURPRISE,” which echoed and caused everybody within earshot to groan and cry out.

Tucker snapped out, “Caboose! Use your fucking inside voice, man!” and Caboose shouted, “OOPS,” and then quieter, “oops,” as everyone groaned and yelled again.

Church eyed everyone—Sarge, Tucker, Caboose, Donut, Grif, Simmons—and the mess that surrounded them. There were piles of pretty wrapped papers, snow that Grif somehow brought into the canyon although who knew how long that would last, an actual Christmas Tree what the fuck?! It was like the guys went and just decided to dump every wintry holiday right in the middle of Donut’s Wine and Cheese Hour and Church didn’t know what to think of it.

“Here!” Donut thrust some prettily wrapped gift of weird shaped nonsense into Church’s hands. The paper tore and Church could see something metal glint inside and felt his nonexistent gut twist. “We all saw how down in the dumps you were, Church, and thought we’d better plough those holiday blues away! So we greased up and dove right in to that—”

“Donut!” Grif and Simmons both chimed in, each in scolding tone, as Tucker pulled Church just the slightest bit away.

“Open it, numbnuts,” Tucker shook his head and Church carefully tore at the wrapping paper. He was surprised to find a hand-crafted Menorah the result behind it, and even more surprised at the fact that he wanted to cry. “We all kinda saw what a little shit you were being and it took some google fu on my end to figure out what the fuck was up.”

“Next time man just tell us it’s a major fucking holiday or something,” Grif waved one hand negligently. “None of us even realized it was December until like five days ago!”

“I…” Church floundered for words. How did they even know?

“You made us put a Jewish star on you grave maker, remember?” Tucker grumbled and slung one arm over Church’s shoulders. “Once I figured out it was Hanukah Grif realized you were missing a Menorah and Simmons said something about that being important or some shit and, yeah. Here we are.”

“This way next year you’ll be able to light the candles and not feel all shitty about forgetting an important holiday tradition,” Simmons nodded.

Donut moved up around Church’s other side and leaned in. “I know it’s too late and all for this year, but we really didn’t know what was going on in that head of yours, Church. You should’ve said something!”

Church struggled to put into words what he felt, instead he hoarsely said, “You assfuckers,” with a choked off laugh a minute later when Caboose unveiled the large human sized dreidel and asked how to play.

It wasn’t perfect, not yet, but damn if it weren’t as close as—and damn if it didn’t mean the world to Church. These were his assholes, in his little box canyon, giving him holiday gifts on the last day of Hanukah and fuck if it didn’t mean the world to him. Him—the shittiest human being that ever existed.

“Fuck you all very much!”

“AND A FUCKING HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU TOO ASSHOLE!” Grif yelled, and they all burst out into laughter.

“A LITTLE TOO EARLY THERE FATASS!”

“Oh, are we not celebrating the birth of the baby managers son?”

Church laughed.

“It’s baby Jesus in a manger you idiot,” Tucker grumbled, “and no, we aren’t! Fuck,” and Church laughed.

Yeah, it wasn’t quite perfect, not yet, but it was as good as for this little box canyon in the middle of nowhere.

#redvsbluesecretsanta #leonard church #churchnut #found family #holiday nonsense #donut

[randomly-random-jen]

Attention to Detail (6/6)

A Red vs Blue fanfic

Chapter 6

People started running. Tourists and medics, security and sicko gawkers all rushing for a better view of the aftermath. Church moved, too—elbowing and forcing his way between couples and families.

“Look at me, Church! Up here!” The words bounced around his head followed by those memories that would always haunt him.

“Daddy, look at my dress. It floats. Daddy, you’re not looking.”

He finds her after the longest most terrifying fifteen minutes of any of his lives because, for all of his faults and all the pain he’s caused, Dr. Leonard Church loves his daughter. Church feels it deep in his bones. He screams her name—not just the Director, but Alpha and Epsilon and every other goddamn voice in his head. They all scream the same thing. “Sarah! Sarah, where are you?”

But the name that came out of Church’s mouth was something else. “Caboose! Caboose!” They made it to the fence surrounding the ride. Medics were everywhere, sirens wailing closer and closer. Security pushed onlookers back. Church was stuck.

“That’s my friend,” he shouted at the nearest guard who only shrugged. If he had a gun, he’d blow the guy’s head off. Well, maybe Church wouldn’t, but Wash or Carolina could take the shot.

Tucker and Wash, Carolina and the Reds suddenly surrounded him, each in various stages of shock. Even Wash, after everything he’d seen and done, appeared lost and overwhelmed. From the haunted look in his eyes, Church knew heard Epsilons ghosts—his ghosts—screaming inside his head, too.

“They won’t let us through,” Church said. Hands shaking, he barely even noticed Carolina reaching over to stop them—her touch gentle. Almost understanding. Did she remember?

“What do we do?” asked Tucker, sounding calm but worried.

Doc suddenly pushed to the front of the group. “Let me go. I’m a medic—they’ll let me through.”

And they did.

Church watched Doc slip past security, but his patience was used up. “Fuck this.” He reached out for the familiar feel of Doc’s mind. O’Malley had made a cozy nest there that glowed like a fucking Christmas tree to Church. He stayed only long enough to find another body nearby.

“Whoa,” Doc mumbled, staggering into the woman next to him.

She righted him. “Sorry,” Church said, his voice sounding weird. He’d never jumped into a female body before. “I needed a point of reference.”

“I understand.” He didn’t sound so sure, though. Church hated to do that to him. Omega was a bastard that really did a number on the mild-mannered medic. Even the few seconds in his brain showed that—it was almost as big a mess as Church’s, and apparently O’Malley left a piece of himself behind.

Doc muttered curses to himself when a group of bystanders blocked his path. Before Church could do anything, Doc twitched, turning into someone else. “Get out of my way, you imbeciles. Move. I’m a medic. Scat. Scamper. Yes, you in the ugly sweater get out of my way.”

Church didn’t know if he should laugh or feel guilty. At the moment, he was just grateful Omega turned out to be good for something. He clung to Doc, traveling in his wake as people parted like the Red Sea.

“Hey,” a guard yelled, stopping them. “You can’t be over here!”

“Out of my way, fool, or I’ll rip your skull out and beat you to death with it.”

“What?” The guard looked more confused than afraid. They really needed to get some new material.

“I’m a medic,” Doc said in his usual, squeaky voice. “The guy- the man that fell-” His voice cracked, but he pulled himself together. “He’s a friend of mine. His name’s Caboose, and I really, really-” O’Malley returned with an evil twist of his lips. “-need to get to him. Now bloody move out of my way.”

The guard backed away, leaving a space for them to pass. “Yes, yes, finally, you idiot. Move. Move. This is my assistant, let her through. Move!”

People scattered. Doc grabbed Church’s wrist and dragged him through. “Yes, thank you, good man,” O’Malley said to a guard that waved them over, followed by Doc’s hollered, “and have a nice day!”

Doc shook himself out. “God, I hate when that happens.”

“Sorry,” Church mumbled. “Omega was always the hothead of the family. But I’m kind of glad right now. Thank you for getting us through.”

Doc blinked at him. “He’s my friend, too, Church.”

They both stumbled to a stop a few feet from a body covered in a sheet.

“No.”

Church wasn’t sure which one of them said it or if it even mattered. They both sighed in relief as the sheet suddenly lifted and fell. Church hurried over, dropping to his knees next to Caboose’s head. He was still. Too still for Caboose who always fidgeted. But he was breathing.

“Caboose?” Doc said. “Caboose, can you hear me?”

“No, mama, I don’t wanna shuck the corn today.”

“Caboose,” Church said in his way-too-feminine voice. “Caboose, open your eyes.”

Doc concentrated on his scanner, mumbling to himself.

“Come on, Caboose. I’ve gone through too much shit to lose you now. I mean, I might get too used to not dying every goddamn month if you aren’t there to blow me up or shoot me in the head, but-” He couldn’t help the quiver in his voice.

Caboose’s lips moved. Church bent closer, and his friend’s mouth—corner caked in blood—turned up into a grin. “Tucker did it,” he rasped, and fuck it, Church was crying again. “Church, is that you?” Caboose asked, a little louder.

“Yeah, buddy, it’s me.”

Caboose’s smile widened. “Church! You’re a girl!”

Church laughed in relief, the terror slowly bleeding away. “You’re going to be okay, buddy. Just hang on. Doc is here—he’s going to fix you up and then we’re gonna go home.”

“To Blood Gulch?”

“To wherever the fuck you wanna go, Caboose.”

Caboose blinked up at Church. “I want to be wherever you are, Church.”

Doc paused to wipe his eyes and steady himself. Church watched his own tears fall, soaking Caboose’s hair. He focused on that one thing because he wouldn’t, couldn’t look at the man’s broken body.

Church had lived a lot of lives, and of all of his experiences, this ranked as the second most terrifying. The first ended a lot better.

“Sarah! Sarah, where are you?” His throat is raw from yelling, and his lashes are tangled with tears, blurring the world around him. “Shit, shit, shit. Where is she? Sarah?”

A wrinkled hand lands on his shoulder. “Are you looking for a little girl ‘bout yea high,” the old woman asks with a reassuring smile. “Red hair and blue dress?”

“Oh, god, yes. Have you seen her?”

The woman pats his arm. “She’s over there, spinnin’ for the ducks. Happy as a clam.”

He barely remembers to shout a thank you over his shoulder as he runs. He tops the hill, and sure enough, she’s down by the pond chattering to the ducks. The breath he’s been holding for the last five minutes whooshes out in a gush.

Of course, she would come here. This was their spot. Every time Allison came home, they raced to the pond to feed the ducks. All Sarah ever wanted to do was practice running so one of those times she’d finally be faster than Mommy.

“Sarah!”

“Daddy!” She waves high, oblivious to his distress. “Look at my dress, Daddy! Look how it floats!”

Church blinked away fresh tears. He tried not to think about how they celebrated Sarah’s sixth birthday the next week. Or how she never got to race her mother to that pond again.

He pushed and shoved and crammed those memories into the closet with Tex and Wash and everything else he didn’t have the capacity to deal with at the moment. He’d sort them and his ghosts out another day. If there was one thing Church knew how to do, it was compartmentalize.

Caboose’s breathing shallowed out, and for an agonizing moment, the terror seized him again. But the sheet continued to rise and fall. Church swore the man was invincible.

“I think he’s going to be okay,” Doc said softly. “It won’t be pretty or easy, but he’ll make it.”

Church sighed. “Hear that, Caboose? Doc thinks you’re gonna be just fine.”

“But, Church,” Caboose murmured. “Doc is a horrible doctor. You said so.”

Doc shook his head as Church chuckled. “It’s okay, Caboose. I think he’s learned a few things since then.”

Caboose laughed, too, but it quickly turned to coughs.

“Try not to move, buddy. They’re bringing a helicopter to take you to the hospital. How cool is that?”

“Neat.” Caboose forced one eye open to look at Church. “Will you be there, Church? So I’m not scared?”

Caboose knew how to throw an emotional sucker punch to the gut. “Of course. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” And damn it, he meant it more than anything he’d ever sworn to before. He’d fucked up too many lives in the past. It was time to start doing something right. “Now you need to promise me you’ll do everything the doctors say and rest and not move around. Okay? I need you to get better and come home soon. Who else is going to take care of Mr. Bubbles and Fishy McSwimsalot?”

Caboose’s eye fluttered shut, but the smile stayed. “I love you, Church. You’re my best friend.”

“I love you, too, buddy. Now rest and get better.”

They missed all the signs—things that meant nothing to the average person, but for the Reds and Blues spelled disaster on the horizon. Nothing good ever came from not wearing armor or stealing bodies or getting drunk. Next time, they’d pay better attention to the details.

chapter 5

#fanfic #red vs blue fanfic #story: attention to detail #epsilon!church #doc dufresne #michael j caboose #angst #happy ending #sort of

[calliecat93]

Tucker in S16: An Analysis

Okay, watching Episode 3 again actually gave me all that I need to talk about Tucker and his ‘regression’. So let me explain how Tucker acted this season. Now if you don’t like how Joe wrote him, that is perfectly fine. I personally thought that he did Tucker well, but I know that people didn’t like it, and I’m not going to argue. This is a post about explaining why Tucker acted like he did, not to defend it. So take it as you will.

So int he first couple of episodes, Tucker seemed good. He mentioned bringing Wash back pizza, seemed pretty chill throughout, and in Episode 3 even questioned about what ‘fix the past’ means. The reason that he didn’t act on the latter is because Sister pointed out that with the time machine, they have all the time in the universe to worry about it. She was on vacation and wanted to have some fun first, and Tucker saw the logic int hat and agreed. Now we all knew that he’d been pining after Sister before, so seeing her again after years? This had to be a dream come true for him. And she seemed down for sex... just not with him.

So then Sister brings up the cave incident. Tucker was convinced that they had sex, and I think that he blocked out the past memory of being nervous and then getting interrupted. Why? Because he was embarrassed. He always talked big game, but when he tried to ac ton it with Sister, he couldn't. Sister is clearly much mroe confident with her sex life and had to be the one to initiate everything. When Tucker called it off, she simply accepted it and moved on. She got over on whatever feelings she had and focused on having sex with others. She’s a sexual person. It’s something that she likes for both herself and her partner. She is mroe than allowed to do so.

Tucker however cannot handle it. He can’t handle rejection. He can’t handle his insecurity. We may have seen Tucker become a better soldier, but improving his sex obsession, treatment of women in that context (he seems to respect women like Carolina and Kimball, but outside that he... could be better), and how to actually act in a relationship. After seeing his previous fuck-up, Tucker got consumed by his embarrassment and his desire for Sister. He likes her. He genuinely likes her. She’s the one girl that he actually had some semblance of a chance with, but he fucked it up. So eh got carried away in making himself feel better and getting the girl by sabotaging Sister’s sex attempts with others. He let his entitlement get the better of him. 

There’s also him expressing in Episode 4 about missing the Blood Gulch days where there were no true consequences. He could do whatever the fuck he wanted and anything that happened wouldn’t really matter in the end. I think that played a part in it too. He wanted to go back to how he used to be and live the days where he didn’t have to care. Where he could have sex with whoever and not get slapped with a lawsuit because he didn’t think about the severity of what would happen after. Where if someone got hurt, they would be fine, even if it went against all logic, and he didn’t have to feel guilty about it. You wanna know why he didn’t mention Wash after that? Because he was trying to ignore it. Not because he wasn’t concerned, but because he had convinced himself that there weren't going to be any consequences and that it would somehow be fine. Maybe it could have been emphasized better, I won’t deny that. However given the evidence that we have, that is the conclusion that I’ve come to.

This is why he acted like he did in Episodes 7, 10, and 11. In Episode 7, Sister sarcastically suggested that he fight the Cyclops to prove how macho eh could be. Tucker, being an idiot, took her seriously and while he did better than most would... yeah he should have thought through it and just opened a portal to begin with. But he did it because he thought that Sister would be impressed, which she wasn’t. She just found him to be an idiot. Then in Episode 10, due to his sword he became King of England and tried to use that to impress Sister. After all, he’s the king. He’s in one of the most powerful and respected positions that he could be in. When that failed, he took his frustrations out on the country and fucked over Camelot. It’s also probably why he kept trying to wish for a bigger penis since that was pretty much the last thing that he had left to turn to. Then Grif wished for the sword, which I believe that he did just to piss off Tucker cause he was already fed up with him, and that hurt Tucker’s ego more since there went the one thing that was unique to him. He couldn’t use that as an ego boost either.

So what about Sister throughout all of this? Well it’s made clear throughout that Sister is unimpressed and is growing more and more sick of Tucker. Did she still like him? Maybe to a degree, Maybe she would have been more willing to give him a chance after she had her fun with some others, but he continuously fucked that up. Sister never fell for it. This is an actual issue in RL, thinking that they can make themselves look mroe and more powerful to get the girl and that the girl is entitled to them. Tell that to any woman, and he WILL tell you off. What women want is for the guy to just respect them for who they are, accept that they don’t belong to them, and just be a decent person. Tucker has all of those problems, and has since the beginning of the series. The fandom has pointed out how problematic it is various times. The series always treated it as a joke, and that’s not really going to fly in this day and age, at least not without the problems with it getting touched on.

However that’s going more opinionated territory, so back to the focus. The point is, Sister knows that Tucker is being a piece of shit and gives him one chance to think it through on his own. She wants to see if he’ll actually have it in him to realize that his entitlement and insecurity is why she will never so much as lay down beside him. He didn’t. She seemed prepared for that, and decided to just be disappointed. Then Tucker called her frigid. That ignited her own past insecurities about her chubbiness and probably all her other frustrations with Tucker over the past... year? Months? Passage of time. So she finally tells him upfront about why she won’t get laid by him. He cares only about himself. He’s acting entitled to her. He’s doing so to make himself feel better about his past embarrassment with her. He got caught up in all of his insecurities and desire to not give any fucks like he used to. The fact tat the next two episodes brifly point out the embarrassment aspect only emphasize that. But he can’t do that anymore. And him acting that way only pushed Sister away and convinced her that the only thing that he can care about is himself.

So did Tucker learn his lesson? Well he didn’t learn that leaving the past as it is was the best solution, but he had a much mroe understandable reason with the Wash-related reason and it was more due to wanting to help him than appease his guilt. Plus everyone else agreed and Carolina even backed him up with some logical reasons as to how it could work and not end in disaster. As far as respecting women goes? Well considering the ‘reset’, only time is really going to tell. It’s possible that the lesson wills tick at least subconsciously and if he acts like he would, he may feel uncomfortable and wonder why it felt wrong. But that’s going into speculation territory. But he does actually suck it up and apologize to Sister for everything that he did and the guilt of how he acted was very much in affect by that point. He finally realized that there ARE consequences and that the Blood Gulch days are over. He can’t not care anymore, and as much the true affect of all that he did hit him. But he was till much mroe respectful and honest to Sister, even accepting that she’s not going to return his feelings any time soon. He even tried to spit his feelings out fully in their last moments genuinely. Right now, only time will tell how everything plays out and how much is still going to stick until the paradox is resolved. But he at least admitted that he was wrong and did attempt to do the right thing, so that is a positive sign.

So that is my interpretation of why Tucker acted like he did. If you want y opinion, I think that this all lines up with Tucker’s character. I think that this was a lessont hat he’s needed for quite some time, especially with his development on Chorus. It’s not a fun side to watch, but from a character perspective to see someone become better, we have to see them at their worst so that they can get past it. I thinkt hat Joe wrote Tucker very well, but again you are free to disagree with me. I’m nto here to argue, I am here to simply explain what I saw in these episodes and take the evidence provided to create a hopefully coherent explanation. That’s all I’ve got, so thanks for reading everyone!

#rvb #rvb16 #rvb16 spoilers

[flameintheblacknight]

Since someone out there may be curious:

Anya binges Red Vs Blue: A record

(with appearances from the Discord Crew)

1/23/18:

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 1:35 PM

so like

i have a bad idea

imma binge watch red vs blue

why?

iunno

someone stop me

Boi-Last Tuesday at 1:36 PM

Uh...

Best of luck?

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 1:36 PM

...that's not stopping me.

PheNoamenon-Last Tuesday at 1:36 PM

The one season of rvb I saw wasn't that good

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 1:37 PM

i mean, there has to be a reason people like it, right? Might as well watch it and find out.

 And two episodes later…

 I think I'm in love

this seems like something good

PheNoamenon-Last Tuesday at 1:42 PM

#random-tv-shows

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 1:42 PM

aye aye

 ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 1:45 PM

Have fun with RVB @Amazeanya the loved~

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 1:45 PM

I will!

Magical Girl Zunko-Last Tuesday at 1:50 PM

I actually cried during one of the seasons. So have fun.

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 1:50 PM

well, that bodes well

joy

But really though, I think I've laughed more watching the first two episodes of this than I have in a while, so that bodes well!

Magical Girl Zunko-Last Tuesday at 1:52 PM

There are mood swings. Also, I need to rewatch it too

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 1:52 PM

Upupupupu~

Magical Girl Zunko-Last Tuesday at 1:53 PM

I wonder if it’s still on netflix

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 1:53 PM

13 seasons of it

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 1:53 PM

...holy fuck

Why am I watching it on youtube when I could be on Netfli--oh, wait, that's right, because I love my laptop

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 1:53 PM

14 and 15 you'll have to do via RT or YT

Magical Girl Zunko-Last Tuesday at 1:54 PM

I would recommend doing them through YouTube. Playlists are nice

PheNoamenon-Last Tuesday at 1:54 PM

One playlist I found had s1 mwsswd up, I think it was RT's, so make sure

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 1:55 PM

Hmm, yeah, it does seem like the playlist is a bit screwy, so I'll just use the standard video-jumping feature.

Magical Girl Zunko-Last Tuesday at 1:56 PM

Or use Netflix

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 1:56 PM

I'll use Netflix later!

When I'm at like, my grandparents or something.

Magical Girl Zunko-Last Tuesday at 1:56 PM

...? Why not now?

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 1:57 PM

Because I am lazy and I don't want to drag out my iPad or ask my mom what the netflix account password is... actually, you know, might as well just pull out the ipad

holy shit

I think someone in my family's watched it

It has nearly full watch-bars for seasons 1-4

Magical Girl Zunko-Last Tuesday at 1:58 PM

I mean

It’s a popular show

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 1:59 PM

true

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 2:05 PM

screw it, back to youtube, that's easier to handle, and they at least tell me who's speaking

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 2:07 PM

Captions tho

But understandable

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 2:07 PM

My captions don't say who's speaking, for unknowable reason

so... back to the one with good subtitles!

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 2:08 PM

Enjoy-

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 2:09 PM

I will!

dammit, Donut, that's

that's not remotely anything like a fucking store

omg

it's like

i'm seeing all the pieces to disaster line up in front of my eyes and

i am loving every second of it?

and thus a capture the flag war is won.

how the hell do they manage to create a coherent storyline with callbacks and brick jokes in the form of like, a few episodes that don't go longer than 5 minutes?

Episode 8 and I'm worried for some reason

oh shit

oh shit

oh no oh shit

fucking tanks

this is going to end... badly

oh fuck

what the fuck?

You do not do this to me this fucking early in the show, dammit

Why

what the

fuck

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I

um

is he dead?!

holy fucking

holy fuCKING(edited)

I

WOW

somehow I have more reactions to this than I did to RWBY

I have no idea why, I just do

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 3:04 PM

omg

I just

is he dead, tho?

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 3:04 PM

Keep watching

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 3:04 PM

I am

Oh, hey, Sarge. Been wondering where the fuck you were.

omfg

Goodbye, stupid-ass tank that killed Church. No-one will mourn you.

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 3:06 PM

Poor Sheila

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 3:07 PM

Sheila's a tank tho? One that fucking... killed Church? I mean. Why mourn the tank?

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 3:08 PM

Also, they don’t show up in the playlist, but you should watch the miniseries. I think that the first one takes place concurrently with season 4, but I could be wrong

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 3:09 PM

Hmmm, so, when I reach season 4, hunt down the miniseries, got it.(edited)

...okay what the fuck

okay, what the FUCK

okay, I'll... accept this as a thing that I am seeing and hearing.

So... okay then.

Trying to rationalize this will just lead me down the path of madness so...

okay then

who the fuck is this "Tex"? And why is a warning needed?

Church, get to the point plz

okay then, that was mildly horrifying and completely impossible.

A PERSON WOULD BE DEAD THE SECOND THEIR SKULL WAS RIPPED OUT

THA-IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!

tucker, no

tucker, you could've, iunno, listened to your dead friend?

wait what

no

don't

TEX, THE FUCK?!

I GET YOU'RE A MERCENARY AND ALL BUT

DAMMIT

DON'T

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 3:26 PM

Miniseries guide: Out of Mind and Recovery One should be watched after Season 4 but before Reconstruction (Season 6) Relocated should be watched after Reconstruction MIA and Where There's A Will, There's A Wall I would recommend watching some point after Season 9

and I don't think any of the others are canon, so they're more 'watch for fun' along with the PSAs

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 3:26 PM

gotcha

best bubbles-Last Tuesday at 3:27 PM

Anya, you watching Red Vs Blue?

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 3:27 PM

yes

Currently on Season 1, episode 11

best bubbles-Last Tuesday at 3:27 PM

ooooooh boi

You're in for a ride : P

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 3:28 PM

Season 10 is probably my favourite

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 3:28 PM

i've been told it's a ride. and i can see why.

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 3:28 PM

but I haven't seen a season that I've disliked in any way, shape, or form

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 3:29 PM

becauSE HOLY FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WAS THOSE PAST FEW EPISODES

AAAAAA

best bubbles-Last Tuesday at 3:29 PM

You haven't even scratched the surface yet

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 3:29 PM

oh boy

oh shit

oh shit shit shit

what is that on Donut's head?!

GAH

THE FUCK JUST

WHAT HAPPENED?!

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 3:34 PM

me in every episode of this fucking show

Boi-Last Tuesday at 3:34 PM

Well...

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 3:34 PM

Oh that bodes fucking well

Boi-Last Tuesday at 3:35 PM

I think I'll pass on ever watching RvB if this is the reaction to the first season.

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 3:35 PM

lol

you probably should pass

Boi-Last Tuesday at 3:35 PM

Yep, I think so.

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 3:37 PM

Oh, hey ghost-Church. I've heard this was all filmed on like. some Halo thing for the first season, right?

best bubbles-Last Tuesday at 3:38 PM

Yep

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 3:38 PM

So, they'd have to come up with logical... ish reasons for in-game things like the flags being returned.

which they did

Tucker, you're a bad liar.

omfg

the store and elbow grease thing

fucking brick jokes

best bubbles-Last Tuesday at 3:40 PM

Gotta get that headlight fluid : P

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 3:40 PM

lol

best bubbles-Last Tuesday at 3:40 PM

Uh oh, the lights are dim! Better put some more fluid in there!

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 3:42 PM

what

wait what

UM WHAT

CHURCH, IMMA NEED YOU TO EXPLAIN SOME MORE

I what

UM

FUCKING WHT

SURE?!

OKY

WHAT WAIT

TEX IS CHURCH'S EX-GIRLFRIEND?!

okay, sure

Xtremely cool Chandishishi~-Last Tuesday at 3:49 PM

xD

I love reading Anya's reactions to Red vs Blue

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 3:50 PM

So like

wait a fucking minute

infused her armor with an AI?

I, um, how(edited)

pfffffffffffffffffffffffffft

ahahahaha

who the fuck pronounces both like "bolth"?

it makes no goddamn sense

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 3:57 PM

that's RVB for you

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 4:04 PM

wait

"Sidew-"

As in, like, the planet Church was on before Blood Gulch??

???????????????????????????????????????????????????

confusion

aaah... dammit Church, your Sarge impression... it's shit

church. you're making me hurt inside. please stop

Church... you could've explained that... when Sarge and Simmons weren't there

omfg

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 4:09 PM

Puhuhuhu~

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 4:10 PM

omfg

ed, could you not

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 4:10 PM

;P

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 4:11 PM

caboose, no

don't

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 4:11 PM

There's a saying one of my friends say all the time to sum up this show. Would you like to hear?

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 4:11 PM

yes

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 4:11 PM

"Things got better, but things got worse."

;P

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 4:11 PM

That... that seems accurate

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 4:12 PM

You haven't seen anything yet

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 4:14 PM

OH FUCKING

FUCKITY

is it weird at all that i screamed a little when I heard that fucking tank in the spirit world?

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 4:21 PM

Pfft-

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 4:21 PM

dammit, rvb, you do not

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 4:22 PM

Wait wha

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 4:22 PM

I was all fucking shook

then

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 4:22 PM

OH!

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 4:22 PM

DAMMIT

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 4:22 PM

OML

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 4:22 PM

lmao

How does that work, tho?

How does CPR save you.... when you've been shot

in the head

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 4:23 PM

Science

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 4:24 PM

@best bubbles can CPR save a dying person who's been shot in the head?

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 4:25 PM

SCIENCE!

best bubbles-Last Tuesday at 4:25 PM

No

No it cannot

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 4:25 PM

knew it

Xtremely cool Chandishishi~-Last Tuesday at 4:25 PM

Why was that even a question

PheNoamenon-Last Tuesday at 4:25 PM

because someone did it in rvb

Xtremely cool Chandishishi~-Last Tuesday at 4:26 PM

I'm aware of that

But like

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 4:26 PM

SCIENCE!

Xtremely cool Chandishishi~-Last Tuesday at 4:26 PM

It didn't need confirmation

Doc even says in the show that it shouldn't be possible, I think

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 4:27 PM

who's Doc?

friendly reminder I'm not even out of Season 1

ArcherM-Last Tuesday at 4:28 PM

CHANDY NO- tackles SPOILERS MATE

Shh(edited)

Don't worry about it

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 4:29 PM

...okay

sure

sooo, now that I know the name of the place... I'm like 99.5% sure Sarge was, at some point, stationed at Sidewinder. This may be canon, and I'm just too dumb to pick up on it right now, but. Eh.

wow

the things one does for love, it seems

I mean, I'm all for the Red Team not dying.

you know. Donut could've been given any other type of armor, but noooo

the guys at red command just had to go with pink

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 4:52 PM

It's lightish red Anya

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 4:53 PM

it's goddamn pink

CABOOSE, NO

I STG

sigh

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 4:57 PM

How to sum up Red VS Blue in two words

"CABOOSE NO"

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 4:58 PM

no kidding

pffffffffffffft

rip Church, stopped by Sarge fucking up the whole getting Lopez a communication feature, and making it so Lopez could only speak in spanish

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 5:04 PM

oh shit

Sheila's back online

oh shit

TEX

....what the shit?

WHAT THE SHIT

WHY DO I HAVE A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE FEELING NOW?!

OH, WAIT, I KNOW WHY, IT'S BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING DEEP VOICE AND MY SUSPICION THE VOICE IS RELATED TO THE FUCKING

AI

who the fuck is this purple guy

"whatever you do, don't" WHAT?

what the fuck isn't purple guy supposed to do?!

wait wait wait

wait wait wait

hold the fuck up

Did they just get a different thing to film these with in between seasons

or does Church look less ghosty now

ooooooh

that makes sense

woah, Reds coming in with a sneak attack!

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 6:00 PM

omg, even the subtitles changed from DuFresne to Doc whenever he speaks

lmao

omfg, even the show itself is in on it

...surrender? Hmmmm.

...uh oh

omg

Caboose is down a toe

huh

they've all been drinking fucking

condiments

everything makes sense now

except how they're still alive

best bubbles-Last Tuesday at 6:16 PM

Except Church

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 6:16 PM

yeah

but then again, by this point

he's a ghost

in a robot

so I'm not sure he counts

please, please don't flip the fucking switch

it can't end well

Boi-Last Tuesday at 6:26 PM

*insert Nintendo Switch ad sound effect*

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 6:26 PM

dammit

lol

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 6:28 PM

where are you at, Anya?

Amazeanya the loved-Last Tuesday at 6:29 PM

Season 2, Episode 23

halfway or so through the episode

Actually, I should just say Episode 23, shouldn't I?

what the hell is that beeping?!

WHAT THE HELL

oh no

OH BOY

 1/24/18

you know, reading these, it makes me sound like I was going insane.

...

back to going insane!

everyone in this goddamn canyon is weird, tho

omfg

omfg

the fucking elbow grease joke

I really don't think this is a good idea, guys. Sure it makes logical sense but... are we sure you guys can't just find a robot engineering for dummies book somewhere?

sigh

don't

please don-- dammit(edited)

DAMMIT

god fucking dammit

lmao

wait... so, if the reds actually think to look, they can see ghost-Church too?

maybe

iunno

only Simmons seems to have kinda noticed him so far

eh

those primary objectives tho

god

fucking

dammit

omg

Oh, look, an April Fools' day episode!

you can tell by the fact that this episode isn't remastered

what the fuck

i

is this

lmfao

This is fucking wonderful

oky, back to the actual show

at this point, I'm starting to doubt that.

WHY THE FUCK IS DONUT RIGHT ABOUT ALL OF THIS?

I MEAN

ALL OF HIS THEORY WAS

ENTIRELY FUCKING TRUE

OMG

hw

um

I shouldn't be confused by this, I think I've passed the point where I can actually call myself confused but...

nope, I'm just

speechless

what

what

TEX?!

I mean. You should probably just roll with it, Sheila. It's not going to get saner.

good. DESTROY THAT FUCKING AI

Or you could get an "Engineering and Mechanics for Dummies"

Just saying that

guidebooks could help

Well, at least Donut's accepted the truth of his armor's color by now. That's something?

Hey, Tucker... you mind letting whatever the goddamn hell is happening in there... happen. You go make sure that the Reds shut down their AI Helmet things

...you've gotta be freaking kidding me.

what

hwat

wait

GRIF

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 1:02 PM

Wait. Where's Tex?

okayyy, so O'Malley transferred to Doc. That makes sense.

Thank god it was---oh shit.

OH SHIT, GRIF

oh thank god, he's alive

can Lopez and Sheila just

elope?

and get the fuck outta the canyon, to live a happy life together?

plz?

donut

run

please

just

go away from the cave

please

pfffffffffffffffffffft

it's like i got an intense feeling of deja vu

and it paid off

church... you somehow have the worst timing... yet also the best

I mean, what I just said makes sense, right?

Eh

nothing makes sense when you think about it

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 2:06 PM

Holy fuck, the last episode of Season 2 is 16 minutes

that's long for this show so far.

that was

really fucking sweet, Donut

wow

oh

boY

this is going to be ...a thing.

wait wait

the only none-helmet guy is... talking with both sides.

something's off here, I can feel it

but what is?

vic

how dare you withhold information from us, the audience

HOW DARE

What... the... hell is happening?!

oh god

Tucker

oh god

also, hi, internet dad

did you see the 360 videos yet? They're really funny

Damntastic Despair-Last Wednesday at 2:27 PM

I’ve seen a few of them, dunno if I’ve seen them all yet though

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 2:27 PM

ahhh

And Tex re-arrives... at the tail end of the season

woop-de-doo

WHAT

WHAT WAS THAT ENDING?!

WHAT THE FUCK

Damntastic Despair-Last Wednesday at 2:33 PM

Oh boy, Season 3 approaches

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 2:33 PM

No, really though: HWAT THE FUCK

Something tells me things are about to get a lot more trippy... very fast

OH THANK GOD, TUCKER'S ALIVE

A-am I seeing what a typical Halo PvP round looks like here or something?????????????

mood: confusION

camping is indeed a strategy tho

an annoying and kinda cheaty one

but a strategy

...who the fuck is this Wyoming person?

and why does he have an australian accent?!

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 3:06 PM

oh, thank god, we never have to go back to the Halo Multiplayer realm ever again

yesss

oh, great, we're back to fuckface o'malley

...and Lopez

best bubbles-Last Wednesday at 3:11 PM

The zealots crack me

And you will worship me as though I were a god!

whack

I regret nothing! I lived as few men dared to dream!

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 3:13 PM

pffffffffffffffffffffffftlmao

um

wtf happened to Florida, the state?

What happened to it?

oh god

oh god this is going

to be a

blast

...

i'm so fucking sorry about that

...sidewinder? Again?

What is up with people and Sidewinder?

Why Sidewinder?

What significance does Sidewinder have?!

wht th fuq

the fuck is even happening

omfg

Now, who will win? A bunch of idiots playing Halo PvP, or an AI who wants to murder everything?

...I'm p sure you could make a meme version of this

huh

HUH

WHAT THE FUCK

IS EVERYONE DEAD

THE EXPLOSION WENT OFF

THEY ALL HAVE TO BE DEAD

BUT THERE'S 6 FUCKING MINUTES LEFT IN THE EPISODE... AND 12 MORE SEASONS

WHAT THE FUCK?!

no, really... the fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

what the FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

the... the future?!

WHAT????????????????????//

I mean, it's true. We are always in the present, and everything we do will, in less than a second, turn into the past, like, the minute i stop typing this and press enter

like I just did

That message is now something I typed. Not in present tense, but in past tense

you see where I'm going with this>

Xtremely cool Chandishishi~-Last Wednesday at 3:56 PM

Yeah

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 3:58 PM

but like

it's weird to think about because

the present will only ever exist for a second

and it's always becoming the past

and the future will become the present, which will turn into the past, and the past will just

stay past

wow

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 4:01 PM

what the HELL

WHAT THE FUCK?

IS THIS A REFERENCE TO A DIFFERENT HALO GAME OR SOME SHIT

WHERE THE HELL IN THE PAST IS CHURCH?!

hey, wait. There was a logical answer to their problem: Just... Church would get out of the body, because, y'know, he's a ghost... and they'd all get the fuck away from the robot.

Oh MY GOD

WICKED BURNS ON THE MATRIX TRILOGY

WOOOOO

oh, great, it's one of the freaking PvP idiots.

guys

guys lemme hear what the fuck Tex is saying

guys

...what?

oh no

oh boy

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 5:19 PM

OH MY GOD, TUCKER, WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT?!

IT'S AWESOME

CHURCH?!

OH THANK FUCK, I'VE BEEN MISSING HIM!

OH NO

OH BOY

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 5:28 PM

WELP, THEY'RE TRAPPED

this. this is why we should never trust this group with anything ever.

oh god no

oh no

timeline bullshit is about to happen

yay

or not

maybe

iunno

episode 50 time'

here goes

what the hell

oh, this is going to be confusing

omg

omggggg

oh my god. Tucker looks so weird without aqua armor holy fuckkkk

wait, who's the guy who just walked out of the Blue Base? And why do I have the feeling he's gonna die?

ohhh

nooo

i already feel sad

Damntastic Despair-Last Wednesday at 5:47 PM

where are you at?

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 5:48 PM

halfway through episode 50 and oh

ohhh no

Flowers is allergic to aspirin and... lemme see

oh no

yep, it had aspirin

no

he's dead

and... oh god, it is a stable time loop, I knew it

pffft, and let's see how many more events Church will accidentally set into motion

what?! Hi... Donut, or past-Donut or whatever the fuck's happening right now

omg

elbow grease

it's fucking episode 3 on the timeline right now

yep, definitely episode 3.

omg, and now I'm having flashbacks to when I watched these episodes... yesterday

and... Church just kinda sorta caused his own death

oops

wha....

omg

omGOD

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 6:02 PM

pffffffffffffft

omg

And.. that's Episode 50 down. Onto Episode 50, part 2

GOD DAMMIT, CHURCH.

mood: confused but loving it

what

What

ANOTHER FUTURE-CHURCH

WHAT

best bubbles-Last Wednesday at 6:22 PM

Ah yes

You're on that one : P

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 6:23 PM

what the

qhat the

mood: no longer loving the confusion

this is

this is reminding me of that one manga where all the Homura Akemis meet up on a bar to discuss their various time loops

okay so. This just got another layer of confusing,

eh

and we're back with the crew at the fortress, about to die

woo?

Well, that was resolved easily

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 7:23 PM

okay, I think I know who's sending out the signal

i

okay then?

I mean, I've seen weirder, if the bomb's sentient, that's not going to surprise me

And I'm not surprised by this.

Merely amused at the punchline.

Totally not wondering where the hell this series' lost its sanity

whwhwhat the fuck?!

omg

pfffffffffffft

oh goddamn it, O'Malley's alive too

here we go, almost at the end of Season 3. Just two more episodes to go

okay, it is going to be embarrassing if these slow-ass robots fucking

win

Damntastic Despair-Last Wednesday at 7:49 PM

you think the reds and blues can still be embarrased?

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 7:49 PM

...

lmfao

not really, at this point

we've kinda gone through insanity and back to the point where I'm just...

conditioned to accept crazy

things that annoy me: the varying subtitle quality

on to the last episode of the season

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 8:07 PM

Donut speaks spanish, wonder why I didn't know or at least realize that earlier

they

they just ended up at the Gulch again

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo

fuck

I liked not being there!

what

oh fuck

WHO THE FUCK

OH GOD, CHURCH

EVERYONE ELSE ON TEAM BLUE

OH GODDDDDDDDDDDDD

That

WOW

On to Season 4

*insert link to the rules of Grifball here*

I should be focusing on the episode right now

eh

well, Donut, you guys are probably still in the "future", if such a state of time even exists, but there is the possibility that coming back to Blood Gulch somehow brought you guys into the past and

I shouldn't even be treating this as a rational possibility, this way madness lies

Damntastic Despair-Last Wednesday at 8:38 PM

Red VS Blue is madness incarnate

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 8:38 PM

I've noticed, thank you very much

i regret my life choices today

rereading the stuff I've posted in here the last few days almost reads like an apocalyptic log

...huh? Sheila?

Hmmm

Damntastic Despair-Last Wednesday at 8:51 PM

Just wait until you get to Reconstruction and beyond

That's when it gets really good

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 8:51 PM

oh

oh great

best bubbles-Last Wednesday at 8:51 PM

Yep

Reconstruction is one of my favorites

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 8:52 PM

i'm already going insane, dammit, I don't need to speed it up!

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 9:09 PM

CABOOSE, RUN

RUN

...is there a fucking

dimensional rift on that rock, or is that the teleporter on top of Red Base?

no, no. There's definitely something glowy in a rock in the background.

is it at all weird I want to hug Simmons?

Damntastic Despair-Last Wednesday at 9:14 PM

no

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 9:17 PM

i... i mean, you know something's insane about a show that has one plot where a group's trying to translate what an alien's saying, and another where a contest between a wrench, a skull, and a rookie is being held for the title of second in command.

no, wait, it's not a wrench, it's a vehicle

okay sure

best bubbles-Last Wednesday at 9:18 PM

Welcome to Red Vs Blue

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 9:18 PM

no, wait, it is a wrench

the vehicle just had spray paint on it

am i

am I even watching this?

Or is this some fever dream I concocted because the actual show is boring???

someone, please tell me a description of what happens in Episode 62, so that I can line it up with my current experience

best bubbles-Last Wednesday at 9:25 PM

Church is tryign to get Gary to translate the alien language

Shield has amnesia

Simmon goes bonkers

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 9:26 PM

i mean. yeah, that's... that's about right.

oh god

it's not just a fever dream

Damntastic Despair-Last Wednesday at 9:26 PM

RvB is insanity incarnate

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 9:26 PM

i've noticed.

I don't think there's a way to get my lost sanity back

Damntastic Despair-Last Wednesday at 9:27 PM

Nope.

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 9:27 PM

mournful crying off in the background

I regret my choices

Damntastic Despair-Last Wednesday at 9:27 PM

By the way, have you watched Camp Camp yet? If not, I recommend it for after you finish RvB

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 9:28 PM

Okay, that's another for the binging list

best bubbles-Last Wednesday at 9:28 PM

The story becomes a lot more coherent in later seasons

Damntastic Despair-Last Wednesday at 9:28 PM

Should be significantly easier to binge, it’s only two seasons

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 9:28 PM

oh thank fuck

for both of those things

Damntastic Despair-Last Wednesday at 9:29 PM

Though it hopefully won’t be long before we get new seasons of RvB and CC

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 9:29 PM

...

time to go back to binging

I'm going to want to be caught up, won't I?

Damntastic Despair-Last Wednesday at 9:30 PM

Yeah.

I think once the new seasons/shows start airing, I’ll make a Rooster Teeth Show chat

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 9:32 PM

you should do that, yes

Damntastic Despair-Last Wednesday at 9:33 PM

Though RWBY will stay separate, considering it’s the big RT show

Amazeanya the loved-Last Wednesday at 9:33 PM

yeah

1/25/18

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 11:18 AM

you know.

I should try and value my sanity.

...nah

oh great

well... great

so... bye Tucker, have fun on your quest with the alien!

omg

who the hell is this guy who claims to be from the past and why does he look, sound, and seem like I fucking KNOW HIM?!

I stg if the monster attracted to the Sword is Tex...

Xtremely cool Chandishishi~-Yesterday at 11:54 AM

I mean. She IS attracted to the sword. Kinda. Not the way you're implying.

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 11:54 AM

i mean

she fucking wants to use that sword tho?

and yep

seems I was right

Hi Tex

um... should I be surprised that Church wound back up at Blood Gulch too?

Probably not

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 12:00 PM

the guards...they're all people wearing red or blue armor. it really depends on which guard...

this is suspicious.

ah, dammit, it's the pvp people guarding the temple/base/fuck it

Gooo Tex!

You got this!

who

who let Tucker have the fanciest, brightest keyblade ever?!

WHY

i just i

angery noises

what?

what

I'll just keep watching

what

hehh?

the fuCK?

Wyoming?

He's still fucking around?!

GREAT

Not really

how the fuck

Um. I'm starting to doubt anything time-related happened.

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 12:28 PM

Maybe I'm wrong.

Also, hi Tatsu

ohhhhh

I guess that makes sense?

...wait, what?

What happened in those 800 years, anyways?

literally everyone knows except Donut.

Simmons is not a good actor, is what I'm saying

please, oh please, I don't care if no-one else hears this info about the war, just please

i want to know

I can't believe everyone just. Finds Blood Gulch so easily

Like. Wow

How small is this planet?

Also, why hasn't more changed in Blood Gulch, anyways?

now, when I hear these guys talk about the sword thing, I just mentally see a fucking keyblade

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 1:03 PM

nooooooooooooooooo(edited)

whyyyyyyyyyyyyy

there are

there are so many better plans than this one

Almost at the end of Season 4, just two more episodes to go.

lmao

I am

so sorry, Lopez

I just

I'm sorry

um,,,

whath

I

yeah, i have nothing to say

nothing I can say

All the words I could've used to react to this just

not there

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 2:03 PM

ahahahahahaahahhahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

it's official

this show's pushed me over the edge

I'm never getting that sanity back(edited)

Sooooooo all that happened.

Looks like we

are getting some new cast members?

okay, cool

so, question: @Damntastic Despair do I start Season 5 next, or the two miniseries next?(edited)

Damntastic Despair-Yesterday at 2:20 PM

Either or, but I recommend watching them before reconstruction

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 2:21 PM

gotcha, I'm just going to do Season 5, then the two miniseries.

WHAT

DAMMIT

oh god, is Donut going to be alright?

I

I really don't think you can call dibs on a spaceship

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwhat

GRIF HAS A SISTER

A sister who... beat time itself.

oh

my

fucking

godddddddddddddddddddddd

Damntastic Despair-Yesterday at 2:54 PM

SISTER

Sister is amazing

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 2:54 PM

I have noticed

Well, wherever Donut's fallen into, I'm sure it's just made things a little more interesting

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 3:14 PM

oh my god...

They didn't mean for Sister to be on Blue Team, right?

I mean, technically, they're missing a commander, after all

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 4:10 PM

Well, I mean, they are awesome, but...

both teams are equally crazy, I'll leave it at that

pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

lmfao

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 5:20 PM

I wish I was able to say I can't believe this

But, sadly, I don't think I have the ability to any more

best bubbles-Yesterday at 5:22 PM

Where you at?

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 5:22 PM

Episode 83

I know, I know, it

it's probably rather early for me to have thrown in the towel on logic

best bubbles-Yesterday at 5:26 PM

Oh boy

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 5:26 PM

I will take that as a yes

insane from boredom or insane from what's done to keep boredom at bay... this is a tough choice

my suspicions were confirmed.

Oh, she's colorblind. Well, that makes sense, I think...

oh, great, we may finally figure out where Donut is!

Simmons... I would like to redirect you to a certain... incident in season one.

You cannot trust Team Blue to not kill each other

really

well, I mean, technically, it was a self-caused murder because of stable time loop bullshit but

still can't

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 6:00 PM

oh, no... oh no no no.

I know those signs, and we haven't seen O'Malley pop up in a while...

oh this... this is going to be an awkward conversation

wait, what?

Where's Sarge?!

WAIT, WHAT

TEX, IS THAT YOU?!

The episode summary for the next one: Everybody’s under attack and it’s all incredibly stressful.

that bodes well

...it's probably not Tex. Or something is seriously wrong.

well, shit

O'Malley's jumped

And I think I know who's the victim.

god damn it

Blue Team, ya better start running!

WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUU

TRANQUILIZER DARTS

oh no

where's Grif?!

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 7:09 PM

internal mood: please, I'm begging you, get on with the plot!

please, I want to finish Season 5 by the time I have to log off!

Damntastic Despair-Yesterday at 7:11 PM

Where are you at?

Because Season 5 goes up to episode 100

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 7:12 PM

Just started 92

8 more episodes!

Damntastic Despair-Yesterday at 7:12 PM

You got this!

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 7:12 PM

one of which is 20 minutes long

I GOT THIS

Damntastic Despair-Yesterday at 7:12 PM

You still got this!

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 7:16 PM

oh god

the blues are about to be attacked, I just know it

OH GOD

RED TEAM, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE AND TELL BLUE TEAM WHAT THE FUCK GRIF HEARD

PLEASE

oh

it's Andy, and Lopez, probably... and someone else

but... who's the someone else?

So, not Lopez, an alien... who looks to be the same species as Crunchbite was...

oh shittttttttt

I'm starting to get an idea.

Damntastic Despair-Yesterday at 7:28 PM

you know, I'm surprised you didn't comment on Tucker's pregnancy at all

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 7:33 PM

I did

somewhere up there in the confusion

yep, it's about when I start laughing mad

onto 93!

York? Who's that?

So... 

Who the fuck is Carolina and why is she already dead. 

how the fuck it's been 900 years?! 

There should be like more signs of things having changed

What?

Why the phone call?

wait... I have a weird idea that's probably wrong but

let's see

shitttttttttt

also, yep

idea was right

what

Wyoming's alive, that's fucking greattttt

But he and Gary--er, Gamma are working together. I fucking liked Gar--Gamma

Something's off

Something bad's gonna happen

Because there's no real reason for a guy that's clearly playing both sides to tell one side to straoght up murder the other, unless something's up

At least said other side is currently underground

Aw shit

...what the shit

Where has Red Team found themselves?

Why does it seem like a security room for a mall or something?!

Why is someone spying on both teams...

Something's definitely wrong about all of this

The lack of distance between wherever the fuck they were for the climax of Season 3 and Blood Gulch... the fact that people seem to be still alive, 8 to 900 years in the future...

THE FACT THAT NOTHING OF GODAMN INTEREST BESIDES THESE IDIOTS FUCKING AROUND HAS HAPPENED FOR 5 SEASONS

well, i mean

that's exxagerating

I was feeling sad, now I'm laughing a little bit

The world ends (again). For real this time. All episodes after this one are prequels.

that's what it says

what the fuck

I...

I'm worried now

omg

“This video is no longer available due to”

PFT

“copyright infringement”(edited)

AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHA

“claim by”

OH MY FUCKING GOBWAHAHAHAHA

“Viacom, Inc.”

AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

lmfaoooo

And they also just managed to burn their own show

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 8:00 PM

oh my god.

Of all the things that Junior could learn

Well, like father like son, I guess

there's something wrong with Red Base. It's more purple

dammit, Tucker

pffffffffffffffffffffffft

5 more episodes.

just 5 left now

best bubbles-Yesterday at 8:05 PM

Bow chicka honk honk

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 8:05 PM

you're just gonna chime in with random quotes while I'm doing this, aren't you, Jake?

can't say I don't appreciate it

best bubbles-Yesterday at 8:06 PM

One of my favorites

Your toast has been burned. And no amount of scraping shall remove the black part(edited)

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 8:06 PM

pffffffffft

So, Sheila's like. A spaceship now!

That's cool!

Also: " This summary is currently loading. Perhaps you would like a cup of coffee while you wait? "

Something's wrong

what the hell is that behind Sarge...?

and who's singing?

wait... oh my god. Those bodies are just the old ones of Church and Tex!

pfffffffft

now, anyways, back to wondering wtf is going on

Oh, hi, Lopez

what

the

fucck

no

No

fucking hell

no

No

FUCK YOU, OMALLEY

THAT'S RIGHT, I FUCKING SAID IT

FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU TO HELL AND GODDAMN BACK

YOU DO NOT

THERE IS A POINT WHERE I DRAW A LINE

THIS IS THAT POINT

also, nice callback there right before I started freaking the fuck out

really, Tucker?

ugh

I'm not even surprised

shut up, Vic.

something is fucking

up

...oh my god.

holy fuck

no. oh god. Blue leader... that would be Sister.

Oh my god, oh god/

And she's been sent down into the caves.

oh god

wait

wait wait waitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

no

NO

this

I

how

s h i t

shitshitshit

shit

Wyoming

Thank you, Sheila

Hey, Red Team! You wanna... shoot Wyoming? Maybe?

ahh, dammit

NO

NO NO NO

OH GOD NO

Damntastic Despair-Yesterday at 8:40 PM

Having fun?

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 8:40 PM

IUNNO

I'M ON EPISODE 98

Damntastic Despair-Yesterday at 8:40 PM

what happens in that one again?

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 8:41 PM

shrugs I think something's wrong, but

IUNNO

LIKE, UM, GAMMA'S THERE

POSSESSING A TANK

AND TEX HAS BEEN KNOCKED OUT BY WYOMING

AND SOMETHING'S OFF WITH TUCKER

KNOWS WHAT

NO

NOOOOOOOOOOO

CABOOSE

SIMMONS, NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE REFERENCING FUCKING SEASON ONE WITH YOUR DEJA VU AND ALL THAT FUCKERY

oh no

Tucker's started going through a time loop

oh no

nO

don't panic, Anya, it'll be fixed, it's a time loop

it's

a

time

loop

again with the deja vu, Simmons?!

oh dammit

OH DAMMIT

oh

my

god

WHAT THE

THAT WAS FUCKING

AWESOME

WOOHOO TUCKER

Okay, I'm pretty sure Grif and Simmons have the ability to be somewhat time-loop aware

like, it's not even effected by anything

they just(edited)

do

no

OH NO

THAT'S A HORDE OF WYOMINGS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

best bubbles-Yesterday at 8:50 PM

Time travel trouble

Damntastic Despair-Yesterday at 8:50 PM

I think Anya's broken

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 8:51 PM

you THINK

on the second to last episode now

OMG, SO O'MALLEY AND VIC ARE DEFINITELY WORKING TOGETHER, THAT'S FOR SURE

WAAAAHOOOOO

THAT WAS AWESOME, TEAM RED!

eh.

those idiots will be fine

what the shit

what the shit

the last one, now

Episode 100

"Why Were We Here?"

I'm not ready

Episode description: It’s the end of many things, but it ain’t over ‘till it’s over.

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 9:00 PM

OH FUCK

OH FUCKITY FUCK FUCK

FUCK YOU, O'MALLEY

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HIM

RIGHT

NOW(edited)

why do all the plans begin with Grif abuse?

dammit

Again?

ughhhhhhh

sigh

Why

Why do we have to go back to Caboose's mental landscape again?

wait... what?

dammit, O'Malley

OH MY GOD

YELLOW CHURCH

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTHAHAHAAHAHAHA

what the HELL IS HAPPENING

ALSO, WHY DIDN'T CHURCH HAVE MORE OF A REACTION TO BEING POSSESSED?!

EVERYONE ELSE DID

THEIR VOICES CHANGED AND EVERYTHING

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

best bubbles-Yesterday at 9:16 PM

O'malley is an asshole, Church is an asshole : P

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 9:16 PM

it's going to blow up

Andy's going to blow up the ship(edited)

best bubbles-Yesterday at 9:17 PM

That's what he does

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 9:17 PM

Tex

Oh god

everyone's dead

everyone on that ship

gone

oh my god

it's like nothing's changed yet somehow

everything has

it's like the first episode

but not

It's over

Season 5

is over

wow

I finished the Blood Gulch chronicles...

holy fuck

I did it!

best bubbles-Yesterday at 9:23 PM

And now

Onto Recovery One and then reconstruction

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 9:23 PM

Hey, I'll do the miniseries stuff tomorrow

Damntastic Despair-Yesterday at 9:25 PM

Out of Mind THEN Recovery One

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 9:25 PM

Mmhmm! Gotcha!

Damntastic Despair-Yesterday at 9:25 PM

also

#rooster_teeth_chat is now open

1/26/18

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 11:22 AM

Okay then, I have enough time to watch Out of Mind before I must leave!

...At least, I'm assuming this is where I go to react to the RvB stuff while I binge.

Eh, I'll just start and react anyways

So then, from what's... blatantly obvious, this takes place probably directly in between Season 4 and Season 5 and follows Tex as she tracks Wyoming.

This'll be fun!

hmmm

first off: fuck you, O'Malley.

There, I am now content with the world again

Holy shit, a flashback!

Holy shit, Church!

Well, Church but in the past

Still Church!

Dammit Wyoming, you fuck

Just

let them talk, at least

angery sigh

pffffffft. I like York.

I am feeling sad for characters that I knew for 5 minutes, at most. And their deaths were fucking... foretold. But eh. Still feel sad.

And that is the end of Out of Mind!

I was expecting it to be longer, but eh.

It was still awesome!

Damntastic Despair-Yesterday at 3:38 PM

Yeah, the miniseries are short

And York was cool

*insert posting Episode 100 alternate ends here*

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 4:30 PM

Basically: all the alternate endings are their own flavor of good

Now, on to Recovery One!

...wha?

We're back at... back at here again.

Good thing I watched Out of Mind beforehand, so I know where here is

I have no idea who this person is, but I love them.

Agent... Washington, then. Is he... part of the Freelancer project, too?

Hmmm

best bubbles-Yesterday at 4:41 PM

They do love their state codenames

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 4:41 PM

they really do

But, if that's so, I really doubt that any time bullshit was involved.

At least, they can't have been sent into the future

Something's off about this whole thing.

Somehow, I know we're gonna find out what

oh

oh wow.

oh shit

Something's stealing the Freelancer AIs and enhancements.

Well, someone, more likely.

But who?

woah my god

This is going to be wild

CAN WE STOP WITH THE TUTORIAL PROGRAMS?!

best bubbles-Yesterday at 4:58 PM

Tutorial Programs Kill(edited)

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 4:58 PM

It's true

...what

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 5:00 PM

Oh

My

GOD

WHAT THE FUCK?!

HOLY SHIT

I COULDN'T HAVE SEEN THAT ONE COMING

That was

AMAZING

Now... it's on to Season 6

It begins with a quote that's supposed to sound important, but now all I can think of is the Sharkboy and Lavagirl review that NC did

dammit

Focus, me, FOCUS

I am already confused

Back to normal for me, I guess best bubbles-Yesterday at 5:07 PM

Reconstruction

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 5:08 PM

yeah, I know, it's still confusing tho

best bubbles-Yesterday at 5:08 PM

No I mean

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 5:08 PM

At least we have confirmation that Outpost Alpha isn't the only outpost, though.

best bubbles-Yesterday at 5:08 PM

This is a great season

Damntastic Despair-Yesterday at 5:09 PM

This season is where RvB makes the jump from good to great

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 5:09 PM

Really?

Well, that's awesome

best bubbles-Yesterday at 5:10 PM

Yep

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 5:12 PM

WAIT

WASH IS ALIVE

HOLY FUCK

I hate this "Councilor" person already.

...META ...?

Hmmm

great

a new villain of the arc

and it sounds like it's gotten O'Mall---sorry, Omega, on its side.

Experts? No, no, they're not experts. Trust me.

ohhh

here we fucking go

And we're back to an all too familiar location

Woooo?

what

WHAT

TRANSFERRED?!

OH SHIT

Please, oh, please, if the same thing's happened to the Reds... but it will have, won't it?!

UGH

AAAAAAAA

WTF

oh god

they're all transferred, too

Or not

Hi Sarge!

And hi Lopez!

Oh thank fuck! We have a lead on where the rest of Blue Team may be... and probably where the rest of Red is too

...

also, Sister was hilarious in this episode, just thought I'd say that

Damntastic Despair-Yesterday at 5:30 PM

Sister is hilarious in every episode

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 5:30 PM

true

dammit, Caboose

best bubbles-Yesterday at 5:34 PM

The funiest part is that they wrote in a ton of obscene lines for her voice actress as a joke

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 5:34 PM

Sorry, Wash, you had no idea what you were getting yourself into.

best bubbles-Yesterday at 5:34 PM

And she read them all

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 5:34 PM

omg

Only person?

Nah

If you want the knowledge and the experience needed, just

just go get the rest of the Blood Gulch crew.

...please?

I love them and I don't want to lose them

OMG THEY HAVE ACTUAL STINGERS NO--oh no

oh no

WHO WAS THAT?!

Oh thank fuck.

Hi Church!

It's been... over a year?!

holy fuck

what the fuck

Oh, gee, Wash, you haven't even met most of them.

It just gets weirder from here.

oh

no(edited)

NOPE

I know that effect

lol

there's where the TVTropes quote at the top of the page comes from!

...

wait

back up, Washington

Simulation?

Fake?

back the fuck up and explain

fucking hell.

best bubbles-Yesterday at 5:49 PM

Yep

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 5:50 PM

I mean

All the signs were starting to point towards it, but

NO REAL EXPLANATION?!

SO WE'RE PROBABLY GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL EVERYONE'S AT BLOOD GULCH AGAIN FOR ANY ANSWERS

JOY

huh? South? Delta?

What are you two doing here?

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 6:03 PM

Dammit, South, what bullshit did you get yourself into?

Okay, so, she got her enhancement back, or, more likely, she never lost it.

shit, if META has the whole time-loop-causing thing...

We're gonna need Tucker. ASAP

...what?

That... that was weird best bubbles-Yesterday at 6:07 PM

It was the worst throw ever

Of all time

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 6:08 PM

no, I mean the time slowing down thing!

best bubbles-Yesterday at 6:08 PM

I know : P

And yeah, it was

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 6:09 PM

Please, oh please someone, anyone explain the simulation thing to me?

South... the fuck?!

North... NORTH WAS YOUR FUCKING BROTHER

YOUR FLESH AND BLOOD

HOW

HOW COULD YOU

Chapter 7 summary: The one where everybody enjoys the exposition.

THANK YOU

PFFFFFFFFFFFFF

THEY HAVE A SHORTCUT FOR CABOOSE'S TEAM KILLS

AND IT'S CRTL + F + U

LMFAO

Alpha AI? Can you go on about it?

Please?

WHAT

OH GODAMMIT

THE META IS A FREELANCER

WELL, THIS JUST MAKES EVERYTHING GREAT, NOW DOESN'T IT

best bubbles-Yesterday at 6:20 PM

I love how you and Church had basically the same response : P

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 6:20 PM

heh

I suppose we did

Damn... 3 minds in one body? God, that would be so... so shitty

IT'S THEM

IT'S THE REDS!

YES

oh shit

Welp, we've lost Delta

Now then: Flashback tiiiiiime

oml

Lopez is fucking wonderful

guys... what the hell did you two do?!

no

lmfao

Who

Who thought it was a good idea to put Grif in charge?!

that was fucking insane and I expected no less.

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 7:15 PM

Okay then, we're back/

Church. Church, just. Stop, please. For as long as it takes for everyone to get on the same page.

Then you can fuck around with the voice amplifier.

WHY

THAT IS A HORRIBLE CODE WORD

oh shit, there's Meta

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 8:06 PM

mix of crying and laughing

why

why are we here again

pfffffft

Now we get exposition time... but this time it's explaining shit we were there for!

...I don't know how I'd explain it, tbh

Wait, what? No other place would get the robot kit... something's off

I want explanations.

Now.

I feel

so bad for Wash right now.

I would be fed up too/

But sadly, I've spent too much time around these nutjobs. I know this is how they work.

...Testing grounds?

holy... holy fuck.

that makes... I think that makes some form of sense.

best bubbles-Yesterday at 8:18 PM

Now you know why they were there

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 8:18 PM

...glares

But... why, though?

Sure, it makes sense, because nothing ever happened there, but

Why?

And... I really don't get what the fuck was up with the so-called "time-travel"

Because there is no

fucking

way that can be any form of truth

What... what's the significance of "Memory is the key"?

best bubbles-Yesterday at 8:20 PM

Well, who do we know who had a time-manipulation abilities?

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 8:20 PM

Wyo---oh.

Oh, yeah...

But, on another note, we're still missing two people. Tucker and Donut. Neither of them have shown up for... 12 episodes now, and I'm getting worried about them.

So... we'll need the Alpha AI. And that will bring us to Command. ...okay, sure.

But we're still missing two people, and I'm really worried about them.

Church... I can understand why but

can you please not

pffffffffffffffffffffffft

The old possession trick makes its return!

pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffthahahahaha

of course

pffffffffffffffft

I mean. That plan makes sense.

Somehow

Oh NO

DAMMIT META

best bubbles-Yesterday at 8:41 PM

Wait, which episode are you on?

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 8:41 PM

6, 15 now

Just started

best bubbles-Yesterday at 8:42 PM

Alrighty

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 8:45 PM

wait... freelancer command is responsible for at least a good chunk of the crazy shit that was gone through at the gulch?

jesus fucking christ how bored are those people?!

...what

WASH, WHY ARE WE BRINGING OUT EPSILON?!

WHY?

Also, we're still fucking missing two people

oh my god

they... they tortured the Alpha AI?! That...

That's horrible.

I don't know why, but something about that... it's making me angry?

Yeah, very angry

And what's up with the memories that Church's getting?!

oh no. Meta's here.

I can tell

oh.

oh wow.

the foreshadowing was there.

ha ha ha

Damntastic Despair-Yesterday at 9:00 PM

you got to the big reveal?

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 9:00 PM

The one that Alpha AI was tortured to create all the others? Yes.

And apparently it's been moved, too, which is... wonderful

Damntastic Despair-Yesterday at 9:01 PM

yeah, Project Freelancer was messed up

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 9:02 PM

OH

MY

FUCKING GOD

CHURCH ISN'T JUST AN AI

HE'S THE ALPHA AI WE'VE BEEN FUCKING LOOKING FOR

THAT EXPLAINS WHY OMEGA DIDN'T AFFECT HIM AT ALL--BECAUSE THEY'RE THE SAME PERSON

OH MY FUCKING GOD

HOLY FUCKKK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HOLY FUCK

...that was the big reveal, wasn't it?

holy fuck

I think I kinda spoiled myself on it but

still fucking shook

best bubbles-Yesterday at 9:06 PM

He is the droid we're looking for

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 9:06 PM

...

...

.........

I'm not sure

how to respond to that, Jake

best bubbles-Yesterday at 9:07 PM

Good

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 9:10 PM

mood: freaking out but silently

honestly, if I were told I'm an AI, I'd react close to how Church is right now.

Because... there's no way I'd believe it!

TUCKER

OH MY GOD

WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?

WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!

NOOOOOOO

COME BACK

PLEASEEEEEEE

I MISS YOU SO MUCH

On to Episode 18

dammit, a cliffhanger

and I'm going to have to go offline soon

I'll do the finale of Season 6 tomorrow

Damntastic Despair-Yesterday at 9:27 PM

prepare yourself

Amazeanya the loved-Yesterday at 9:27 PM

Okay

I've got a good couple of hours to prepare

 1/27/18

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 9:27 AM

i have a feeling nothing I do will make me ready for this.

ArcherM-Today at 9:27 AM

Oooh boi-

What happened, what have you seen? OuO

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 9:28 AM

Read up, I've seen up to just before the finale of Season 6

There's also like. A record of me going insane in #random-tv-shows

ArcherM-Today at 9:35 AM

Ommai

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 9:36 AM

This show is probably a detriment to my mental health.

ArcherM-Today at 9:37 AM

Shh, you'll be okay-

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 9:38 AM

Time for the finale.

guys, for the last time, it is pronounced E-M-P.

Not emp

ArcherM-Today at 9:41 AM

Ehehe-

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 9:44 AM

oh my god

That was one thing I was not expecting!

really?

Even the goddamn computer system calls it an "emp"

oh no

oh no

OH SHIT

ArcherM-Today at 9:49 AM

OH YEAH- oh wait

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 9:49 AM

...UNSC? What the hell is that?

ArcherM-Today at 9:50 AM

United Nations Space Command. Just the Halo thing

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 9:50 AM

ohhhhhh

oky

HWAT

WHAT THE

FUCK

ArcherM-Today at 9:51 AM

OuO

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 9:51 AM

THE DIRECTOR OF PROJECT FREELANCER... HE'S THE BASIS FOR ALL THE AI?!

HE'S WHO CHURCH IS BASED OFF OF?!

WHAT

THE FUCK

ArcherM-Today at 9:52 AM

upupu~

Upupupupu~

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 9:52 AM

ED STOP!

YOU'RE NOT HELPING

ArcherM-Today at 9:52 AM

UPUPUPUPUPU~

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 9:52 AM

UGH

ArcherM-Today at 9:53 AM

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 9:53 AM

STOPPPPPPP

MY MIND'S BEEN BLOWN TO BITS, OKAY?!

DOES THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY?!

ArcherM-Today at 9:53 AM

Yes, you're mind is blown like mine was~

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 9:54 AM

I already knew the AI thing from clicking on one hidden spoiler on the TVTropes page for Blood Gulch chronicles but

wow

I'm still shooketh

ArcherM-Today at 9:55 AM

;)

Things get better, but things get worse~

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 9:56 AM

wait... no

no

He... is he dead?!

NONONONO

FUCK

CHURCH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

so... now I'm off to watch Relocated. V said that I should watch that Miniseries after this season, soooo

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 10:04 AM

Here we go

ArcherM-Today at 10:05 AM

Have fun! ;P

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 10:08 AM

Well, if you could try and make the car EMP-proof... but that's impossible. I think.

pfffffffffft

I love this miniseries

you're fucking pfffffffffffffft

there is an 800 foot ladder

lmao

I really doubt Sister's dead

eh

Does she ever show up again, though? Or should I just... forget she existed?

eh

oh

my

god

A holographic training room?!

That's FUCKING AMAZING

DONUT?!

Find what under sand?!

Well, at least we have Donut back

Now, onwards, to Season 7!

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 11:02 AM

...okay, so maybe I lost myself watching side videos that are completely non-canon

Okay, it's now 11:30 AM... I am going to start watching Season 7.

I mean it this time!

pfffffffffffffffffffft

lmao

Now it's time to play: "How to explain Season 6 to someone who wasn't there for it"!

HWAT

OH FUCK

TUCKER, WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO?!

OH FUCK

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 12:00 PM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

no real reason I screamed

just felt it appropriate

ughh

fucking

councilor who I still don't trust or like or just

fuck him

Is there a fourth option to describe Blood Gulch? Because... none of those describe my experience there.

The only word that does is... insane

in the best way possible, but still insane

WHAT

WHAT

OH SHIT

OH SHIT OH SHIT NO

OH MY GOD

WASH!

YOU'RE ALIVE!

pffffffft.

...huh?

hmmmmmmmmmm

...wait, what? Who? Why did the episode stop here?!

GAH

oh my god, wow.

Epsilon, mate... you're amazing, you're doing great.

I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THAT PART TOO

UGHHHH

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 1:00 PM

WHAT?!

Well, I mean, this will be pretty damn fun, but

What?

Okay, sure!

lmao

guys, just. Bring some water. You three will be going into a desert

bring the fucking water

i can't(edited)

what

they just... drove into the water

OMFG

OH GOD

SHIT

...I know that voice. I think.

... C.T, according to the subtitles... I feel like I know who this is.

...we all know Caboose isn't dead. This is just fucking... setting up a punchline. And usually, killing off main characters is reserved fro the last episode of a season. And there's still 10 more episodes to go.

yep, he's fine

hmmm, maybe not, then. In person, the voice is definitely... different.

...kinda

Maybe

not really

I don't think you want to know, person who probably isn't Tucker.

heh?

HEH?!

WTF

um, I don't think Epsilon really counts as equipment.

Okay, now the subtitles for when probably not Tucker is speaking have changed to ???

I...

Hmmmmmmmm

well. This just makes everything more... life-threatening

It's the latter. They're all fucking idiots.

oh

fucking

no

DONUT, RUN

NOW

WHAT?!

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!

ArcherM-Today at 1:56 PM

O.O

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 1:56 PM

pffffffft, brick joke

BUT ANYWAYS

WHAT'S HAPPENING?!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

TUCKER!

WOOOOOOOOO

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 2:02 PM

Welll.... two are at the new bases... and one's dead.

Yeah.

WHAT

YOU KNEW?!

HOW?!

HOW THE FUCK CAN META STILL BE HERE, ANYWAYS?!

I THOUGHT HE DIED

what

the

fuck

ArcherM-Today at 2:23 PM

These miniseries is making me sad. ;;

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 2:23 PM

Oh? Whatcha watching?

ArcherM-Today at 2:54 PM

Out of Mind and Recovery One

Amazeanya the loved-Today at 2:54 PM

Oooooh.

Yeah, Out of Mind's sad.

eh on Recovery One.

ArcherM-Today at 3:03 PM

York... ;;

1/30/18

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 11:38 AM

okay, so after putting this off for a while, it's finally time to finish Season 7!

Onwards, to Chapter 17!

oh shit.

Seems the door's been busted.

pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

i mean, I'm not exactly surprised by this anymore

so

the meta could have cloaked any sort of vehicle

It went for a warthog.

Why?

LMFAO

DAMMIT, TUCKER!

THAT SEEMED LIKE IT WAS GONNA BE COOL

BUT NOPE

On to the last episode of the season!

pffffffffffft

maybe you should've taken the driving lessons

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 12:00 PM

HOLY FUCK!

THAT WAS AWESOME!

oh fuck

no

NO

WASHINGTON, WHAT

THE

FUCK

HOW

DARE

YOU

YOU MAY HAVE KILLED THEM BOTH

THAT

I

WHAT THE EVERLASTING FUCK

what

the fuck

and that

THAT'S HOW IT ENDS?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

FUCKING HELL, NOW I HAVE TO START SEASON 8

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay then, I am calmed down, so... here we go, Season 8 time.

Holy shit, Doc!

I haven't seen you in forever!

holy fuck

holy fuck

ohhhhhhhhhhhh

fuck

We got an unidentified... person, over here!

Blackish or gray armor... might be a freelancer.

wha

what

WHAT?!(edited)

so... the plot thickens

yay

wait... the armor... was kinda familiar, I think?

Lemme rewatch

holy shit, paused to get a freeze-frame and... I think I know whose armor that is

on to episode 2!

hmmm, now I'm curious.

hmmm, now I'm curious.

Oh my god, Sarge could tell everything that's gone wrong?! In a few seconds?! HOLY FUCK, THAT'S AWESOME

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 1:00 PM

WAHAHAHA

THAT WAS AWESOME!

or what?

Oh, look, it seems Red's gotten here! Nice but also o fuck.

how the fuck did they get there so fast, anyways?

um, Chandy...

I think you posted in the wrong area

This is...

this is the Rooster Teeth Chat

Xtremely cool Chandishishi~-Today at 1:21 PM

.....

SHI-

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 1:21 PM

lol Xtremely cool Chandishishi~-Today at 1:21 PM

Whatever are you talking about

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 1:21 PM

dammit, I didn't get to preserve it for posterity's sake!

you know, if this is played right... we could be able to sic the aliens on the Meta and Washington. We just need to make sure no-one fucks up immensel--why am I even telling myself this?

Shit's gonna get fucked up anyways.

best I don't hope.

hey, Epsilon-Church? Did you have to follow the Reds? You could've... told the others what you heard, then followed them!

DAMMIT, GRIF!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, YOU DON'T THINK YOU COULDA REMEMBERED THAT A FEW SECONDS EARLIER?!

And holy fuck, this fight scene looks awesome

best bubbles-Today at 1:29 PM

Gotta love that mocap

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 1:29 PM

THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING

IT ONLY LASTED A FEW SECONDS BUT

THAT WAS ONE OF THE BEST ACTION SCENES SO FAR!

okay, I'm not sure how I feel about this episode title

"Recovering One"

really?

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 2:20 PM

okay then, time to start watching again.

oh, dammit. I forgot Epsilon-Church was following.

You can clearly tell the exact moment the animation changes from Halo graphics to

WOAH, WHY DOES THIS LOOK GOOD?!(edited)

aka computer-animated

Dammit, Epsilon-Church...

but seriously though, the computer-animated sequence was fucking amazing

no, don't

please, don't

HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK, WOW

meanwhile, the name of the next episode makes me want to make a 4/20 joke

omg

oh no

of course he landed in between a bunch of fucking landmines.

pffffffffft

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 3:00 PM

okay, then, onwards to episode 5!

err

6

oops

oh

oh god

...

holy fuck

I just... sigh

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 4:15 PM

ahem

on to episode 7, now!

pfffffffffffffffffffft

of course that's how they don't die.

I mean, it makes sense but

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 5:24 PM

I keep taking too long in between episode

oh well

NO

NO TUTORIAL PROGRAMS

THEY KILL

dammittt

But... this facility... was for the freelancer program?

Huh

A bunker?

Huh.

All of the stuff for the training simulations for the freelancers, I see...

wait, wait, hold the fuck up. There's regulation colored helmets here. This... that's fucking suspicious.

...gumball mcjones

pffffffffffffffffft

omg

I mean. The state name idea seems about fucking right

seriously, the freelancer project couldn't have thought of... anything better?

get blown up, get blown up, there's like

a million landmines here, get blown the fuck up

............what?

That random fucking person... wait a minute... CT... isn't that the abbreviation for Connecticut? ...that's seriously how you spell connecticut?

wow

who knew

wha? Epsilon-Church, what are you looking for?

pffffffffffffffffffft

I wonder why they hadn't thought of that at first

It woulda saved some trouble

pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

...one of those translator balls?

I can't believe the callbacks here

omg

So it turns out Shisno is a real insult!

TEX?!

OH MY GOD

OH MY GODD

HOLY FUCK

Also, the CGI there for the reveal was... pretty damn awesome, gonna be blunt

Damntastic Despair-Today at 6:00 PM

The CGI only gets better

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 6:00 PM

Wooo, that's nice to hear!(edited)

shut up, FILSS, it would not be wonderful if they die.

IT WOULD BE FUCKING HORRIBLE

OH MY GOD, YAY FOR MORE CGI AND OH SHIT

OH MY GOD

OH MY FUCKING GOD, THAT WAS AWESOME

GUYS, DO NOT ATTACK TUCKER! HE JUST HAS THE MISFORTUNE OF BEING SUBJECT OF THIS PARTICULAR RUNNING GAG

OH MY GOD!

OH MY GOD

HOLY FUCK

THAT EPISODE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

That was, without a doubt, the best fight scene I've seen so far. Or, at least, the coolest-looking.

And oh my god

That ending shot

OH MY GOD

 1/31/18

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 4:12 PM

SO

On to episode 11!

Well, I mean, this is like. The one context it is physically possible.

...I wonder what consequences this is gonna have

ohhhh, who knew

Washington, by all means, I should be angry with you. You killed Donut and Lopez! But... you just get so many fucking good lines, and I can kinda understand your anger and

ugh

you're fucking kidding me. So medics get overtime. Who knew?

I mean, I can understand exactly why Doc doesn't want to go in a cave, last time he was, Omega jumped to him, after all.

so... this is what it's like when an AI's operator gets knocked out/murdered. Neat.

no, really, why did you two bring Doc?

I know you had a reason but

I can't remember either!

best bubbles-Today at 4:28 PM

Wash is one of my favorite characters

He's really well-written

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 4:29 PM

Yeah, he is

Ohhhhh, hi there previous Epsilon-body.

Shame you're completely irrelevant right now because... well, reasons.

I do! I want to know! Granted, I think I can figure it our via context clues but

I still wanna know!

I mean. It's pretty impossible to track... anything in the desert.

it's a fucking desert. I presume the winds have been moving sand around and concealing tracks and shit every fucking minute.

ah, good old fashioned blackmail

oh my fucking god, the heat signature thing worked

...that'd be Lima Syndrom, for like, the inverse of Stolkholm Syndrome, right?

best bubbles-Today at 4:50 PM

Yep

Where captors develop positive feelings for their captives

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 4:53 PM

...I'm not surprised that Church isn't on the Psych Eval list. But Tex? Wait... oh. Oh, wait a fucking minute. She's an AI too, isn't she?

I am genuinely curious about the Director's journal. I want to see what the entries are.

hmm... a byproduct? I have a stupid-ass theory. that I already know the truth of because I may have read TVTropes on this a little while back

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 5:00 PM

lmao

why

no slacker should have invisibility powers

this is like

the biggest recipe for disaster... ever.

what

so, the vision things weren't about Valhalla... but this place?

what

Oh god.

It's like everywhere I turn, the Freelancer project just gets more fucked up.

But, I have to say, props to Tex for leading the break-in and a rescue mission.

oh... damn

i just

damn

dammit

We gave Grif super speed

Holy fucking

lmao

this was a horrible idea

...okay, I think the super-speed thing's off.

episode 17 description: "Simmons has the Blue Army data restored, while Grif and Simmons find out important information about the Red and Blue bases."

Important information, oh gee, I wonder what that means besides probably what we were told 2 seasons ago.

my god. No way to deny it all being a simulation now.

The whole time-travel bullshit was Scenario 3.

oh...

oh, damn.

damn...

Tex, no. NO

This is a bad plan.

I've only heard two sentences of it, but

very

bad

plan

best bubbles-Today at 5:42 PM

It's not a plan

But it's a perfect plan

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 5:42 PM

TEX, WHAT THE FUCK

DAMMIT, LADY

angery noises because fucking hell, lady

And now we've got even more trouble a-coming

JOY OF JOYS

Well, at least the crew back at the old freelancer base have received the alarm for Epsilon being hurt.'

That speech.

That speech was fucking amazing.

I'm fucking inspired by it.

And I mean, it began with a call-back then grew into something so... so awesomer.

best bubbles-Today at 5:51 PM

Oh, Sarge's speech?

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 5:51 PM

YEAH

best bubbles-Today at 5:51 PM

That is one of my favorite moments in the entire series

Damntastic Despair-Today at 5:51 PM

Sarge's speech is the third best speech in the show

Church claims both of the other two, which you'll see in future seasons

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 5:57 PM

...what is Grif going to drive, anyways?

Hmm, guess I'll find out

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 6:01 PM

dammit, Doc!

My thoughts exactly, Wash.

Damntastic Despair-Today at 6:03 PM

Anya, once you finish season 10 I have an au idea to share with you

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 6:03 PM

OH FUCK, TEX

OH FUCK

Also, as soon as I finish Season 10, I will be happy to hear the idea.

Damntastic Despair-Today at 6:04 PM

Fuck Tex? I bet church says that a lot

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 6:04 PM

V...

whyyyyyy

lol

but

pffffffffffft

nope, can't help but laugh

Dammit, Meta's gone rogue to... very little surprise, honestly.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YESSSSS

WOHOOOO

oh boy

This is gonna be a rough landing

omg

That line... fucking perfect

Cavalry's arrived in all their... how the fuck are they not dead yet glory.

Oh my god... oh wow.

That... that's horrible. Tex... all the versions of her... at the end of the day, they're like: The living version of eventual failure.

Oh my god.

oh fuck

best bubbles-Today at 6:11 PM

Based on a memory of someone who failed

Always destined to fail

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 6:12 PM

And now I'm almost at the end of Season 8

One more episode to go

DAMMIT, GRIF

DON'T YOU REMEMBER THE FUCKING

CODE WORD

No

NO

NO, NONONONO

GRIF

oh thank god, he's alive

Epsilon... please, don't.

EPSILON, NO

AND... OH FUCK, WASH

BUT ALSO

OH FUCK

JUST... OH FUCK IN GENERAL

no

epsilon... what have you done?

I... I can't believe it.

Wash... I

wow.

wait, no.

He just took Church's armor and put yellow guards and shit on it.

Epsilon... good luck on your journey to find her.

And... I'm glad to see Blood Gulch again, even if it's not the one I called home for an entire 5 seasons.

Oh my god.

That... those were some of the good memories. ...I can see why.

And... I finished Season 8

I finished the Recollection saga.

best bubbles-Today at 6:26 PM

You know a lot of people have said that season 8 felt like it would've been a good way to end the series if they wanted

And I agree

But I'm also glad they kept going

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 6:27 PM

I am too. It gives me more shit to watch.

Yay bingeing...

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 8:07 PM

screw it, if I just focus on binging the next few days, I'll be able to fit in Season 9.

Let's go!

Oh, Epsilon, we know already. It's oky, buddy.

pffffffffhahaha

Oh, poor, poor Epsilon.

wait, what

So that's why it's called the Project Freelancer arc. WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE

I JUST

I SAW SOME FAMILIAR FUCKING CODE NAMES ON THAT BOARD OVER THERE

So, I'm guessing half of Season 9 will be spent in not-Blood Gulch, while the other half will be in the past, and 100% of the time, I'm wondering what the hell the actual Blood Gulch crew is doing?

OH MY GOD

SOUTH?!

NORTH?!

...it's nice to hear your voice, North Dakota, first time I saw you, you were... you were a corpse.

...Charon Industries, huh? I'll remember that name, it seems important.

oh, shit, they're surrounded.

I am completely unconcerned for them.

Because... I know they'll both live through it.

BUT DAMN WAS THAT ACTION COOL

That.

Was.

Awesome.

And noooooo

I don't want to leave the past...

Send me back to the cool...

Damntastic Despair-Today at 8:32 PM

Recognise the singer for the music?

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 8:33 PM

...should I have?

Wait... was that Casey Lee Williams?

ALSO, YAY, BACK IN THE PAST!

Damntastic Despair-Today at 8:33 PM

Yup

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 8:33 PM

So... she's Agent Carolina, huh?

Damntastic Despair-Today at 8:34 PM

Shares a VA with Pyrrha

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 8:34 PM

.......

WHAT

Damntastic Despair-Today at 8:35 PM

Wash also shares a VA with Ozpi n

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 8:35 PM

...

...................................

WHAT THE FUCK

YOU REALLY WAITED THAT LONG TO TELL ME THAT?!

HOLY FUCK

WHAT THE

Damntastic Despair-Today at 8:36 PM

RT has some serious talent under their belt

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 8:36 PM

No shitting

what the fuck

SOMEONE--NORTH, IN FACT--- TOOK OFF HIS HELMET

THIS IS LIKE, THE FIRST OR SECOND FACE I'VE SEEN IN THE ENTIRE SERIES

I FORGOT HOW IT FEELS TO SEE A FACE AND NOT A HELMET

HOLY SHIT

Damntastic Despair-Today at 8:39 PM

I love the past segments in 9 and 10

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 8:39 PM

oh

my

god

that was... that was stunning

Mother of Invention, huh?

NO!

I

WHY

I LIKE THE PAST

REALLY, I FIND THE EPSILON GULCH SEGMENTS FUNNY BUT

THAT'S ABOUT IT

also mildly horrifying because everything's fucking not right with Epsilon-Gulch Red Team but

Damntastic Despair-Today at 8:42 PM

The freelancer arcs in this season are argyably more entertaining than the scenes in epsilon

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 8:42 PM

...arguably? More like probably.

I mean, at least Blue's accurate

Well... this speeds things up slightly. And no casualties yet!

...hopefully

i'm dying inside

I just

Dying

Inside

...I just fucking realized what's going on. Epsilon-Simmons took what Epsilon said to heart. I... I'm proud of him.

...actually, wait

Damntastic Despair-Today at 8:49 PM

I cannot wait until you get to the scene that has one of my favourite musical numbers in the season

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 8:49 PM

hmmm

I'll keep that in mind.

Oh thank god, they're going back to normal.

OH, HEY, WE'RE BACK TO THE PAST, WOOO

I dunno know if it's just the lighting but. South may have dyed the tips of her hair pink.

 2/1/18

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 1:26 PM

and we're back

...that was weird

What the hell is up with these earthquakes?

Well, that actually does make sense.

I guess

can we go back to the past again, please?

I mean. This series does have a compilation movie. I'm watching the broken up into chunks form of it right now!

Sure, all you guys do half the time is stand around and talk but

Still funny as all hel--wait a minute, was the grenade there before?

SON OF A BITCH

Oh, hey, we're back in the past, woo!

A new agent? Going up against... two names I recognize, and one I feel I should?

Hmmmmmmm

oh my god

OH MY GOD

TEX?!

IS THAT YOU?

I... I just saw this conversation, can we get to the ass-kicking?

oh my god, Wash used to be so awkward

Wait... Oh god. I probably should've made this connection but... This guy I feel I should know, Maine... he has what will be Meta's armor. So, I'm just gonna jump to a conclusion real quick.

Oh

My

God

TEX JUST KICKED SOME ASS

THAT WAS AWESOME

They just... Dammit Wyoming.

Dammit Maine.

Live ammo?

Really?

OH GOD

YORK

...I don't know why I'm concerned, because I know he lives until Out of Mind but

OH GOD

...They almost got a teammate killed. I don't care if it's "adaptability" or "ingenuity", it's still fucking horrible.

My thoughts exactly, Tex. Bunch of idiots indeed. That's part of why I love them!

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 2:04 PM

...I love the blood gulch crew, or well, in this case memories of them, really I do, but... there's shit going down in the past, can we PLEASE focus on that?

wait. wait a minute

Puma Battery

Really?

omg

pfffffffffffft

you know... you could just say... Smith Anderson. Smith is a first name, after all.

oh

oh boy

YES, BACK TO THE PASTTT

Oh. Oh my god. It's... the Alpha. It's Church, even if it isn't quite technically but.

God, how I've missed you.

I am pumped up for this heist.

pfffffffffffffffft

Lopez is back to being a freaking head again

YES

BACK TO THE PAST WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I DON'T CARE ABOUT EPSILON-GULCHHH

JUST LEMME STAY IN THE PAST WHERE SHIT'S COOL

I just

pfffffft

can't fucking believe this

you really don't have more to say about him?

Any of you?

Alright then, time to steal a sarcophagus! ...but why are we stealing it, again? Eh.

Oh my god, Maine and Wash both grabbed weapons. And the nod they give each other, holy shit I feel sad now.

...what?

What the hell is that guy who Carolina and Wash are up against now?!

Pffffffffffft

Ahahaha! This is awesome!

OH MY GOD

THAT ENTIRE SCENE

AWESOME

YAY MAINE, COMING IN WITH THAT WARTHOG!

AND THE FALLING TOWARDS THE SKY ACCOMPANYING IT?

MMHMM

I LIKE

THAT WAS FUCKING BRILLIANT

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I DON'T WANNA LEAVE THE PAST!

IT'S COOL!

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 3:00 PM

well, that was easy

pfffffft

lmao

this is a terrible, terrible plan

WOOO BACK IN THE PAST

oh my GOD

THAT WAS FUCKING

BADASS

ughhhhhhh

I keep forgetting that the Epsilon-Gulch plot is a thing whenever I watch the freelancer plot.

And there's always a feeling of despair whenever I'm brought back to that reality

WOOO

BACK TO THE PAST!

wait... so the Super Speed enhancement... used to be Carolina's, huh.

THAT WAS AMAZING

aw, damn. Back to Epsilon-Gulch...

pfffffft

i take it back, this is hilarious.

The plan even worked!

lmfao

Hi again, Andy. I can't really say I missed you.

...There's only so many hits this fourth wall can take, guys. Be careful with it, it's still dealing with the damage dealt to it by other shit.

Grif, seriously, the fourth wall is fragile

And that timing was utterly perfect!

Okay then, back to the past!

oh no

oh no

It's begun

NONONONO

augh

no

no

Oh... oh god.

Delta... hi, man. It's nice to see you.

but...

augh

no

...time for Episode 19.

...and things are getting worse.

everything's falling apart now.

Yay.

omfg

Andy... didn't you have one job as a bomb?

wow

i'm impressed.

...I think you guys are that cool and interesting.

I mean, that's not helping your chances of not dying but.

Just saying what I think.

BACK TO THE PAST AND--OH HEY

THAT'S YORK'S FACE, HUH? NEAT

...CT? What are you doing?

And dammit

sigh

Also, the subtitles for this one had small snarky comments in * a form like this *

it was nice

Last episode of Season 9.

...the world shattering... doesn't look how I thought it would.

Anya should get back to bingeing-Today at 4:04 PM

oh

Oh my god. She's gone.

...what

CABOOSE?!

SARGE!

oh

oh god.

That's so sweet of them!

The one time I don't wanna go back to the past.

Dammit.

Well, that was short

Thanks for bringing us back to the present!

CAROLINA?!

WAIT A MINUTE... DIDN'T TEX, THE ORIGINAL TEX, BACK IN BLOOD GULCH SAY YOU DIED?!

Also, That's not Alpha. Alpha... died. You're talking to Epsilon.

also, also, I am all for killing the Director. He deserves it.

And that's how Season 9 ends. Glad I got my goal done.

 2/05/18

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 3:45 PM

ahem. So, I have some shit to watch. And I have time to watch it all. Time to watch the last two miniseries I need to watch before getting to Season 10.

First off is MIA

Let's go.

woooooooooooooooooo

Oh god. That's the Blood Gulch Chronicles intro music.

I've missed it. But why is it playing?

Okay... where the hell is Grif?

lmfao

It occurs to me that this is a surprisingly longer miniseries

6 parts

that's long for a miniseries

Oh fucking hell, who kidnapped Grif?

lmfao

I have no idea when in the timeline this is supposed to take place and I don't care because it's too fucking funny

wait what

NO

DON'T CALL COMMAND

I'm pretty sure the proper term for doing reconnaissance is... actually, iunno

lmfao

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 4:01 PM

holy mcfuck

hi Vic

haven't seen you in... forever

Is the them being terrible at everything really that much of a surprise? I mean, this seems to be pre-badass-levels-taken BGC

i'm just lmao in the background here, don't mind me

i'm kinda worried now because A. I seriously doubt that Blue Team has anything to do with the kidnapping and B. Didn't the ransom note say that if Command was contacted, Simmons would be kidnapped next?

...oh shitako

...Sarge, you've confused me now.

Damntastic Despair-Last Monday at 4:13 PM

I don’t think I’ve seen this miniseries

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 4:13 PM

Go watch it.

join me in this

Damntastic Despair-Last Monday at 4:18 PM

Yeah, Church, you’re st fault for the Tetris scenario here

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 4:19 PM

OMG

"Well, what can you do, casting is expensive, shut your mouth."

lmfao

Damntastic Despair-Last Monday at 4:23 PM

Oh my god Tucker

‘That would be lame, I try not to say lame things on the off chance there might be a girl nearby”

Yes Caboose

That is exactly what is happening

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 4:26 PM

pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

Now I kinda wonder... does the Director has a shit of an aim as Alpha and Epsilon?

lmao

Damntastic Despair-Last Monday at 4:28 PM

Doc returns

Yay

Also that shade they threw at Vegans

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 4:28 PM

ikr?

pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

lmao

lmao

holy fuck, the two hours later thing makes its return after like 7 seasons

and 3 2/3 miniseries

Damntastic Despair-Last Monday at 4:32 PM

Oh, Caboose

You’re too precious

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 4:33 PM

I mean, I'm pretty sure that the BGC is one fucking team by this point in the show. So, does it really matter?

lmfao

OH NO

NOT HERE AGAIN

OH GOD

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I DIDN'T WANT TO EVER REMEMBER THE FUCKING ZEALOTS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

best bubbles-Last Monday at 4:36 PM

AND YOU WILL WORSHIP ME AS THOUGH I WERE A GOD

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 4:36 PM

scared scooting away

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Damntastic Despair-Last Monday at 4:36 PM

THE GRUNTS

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 4:36 PM

but seriously though: Where and when on the timeline IS this?

pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

omg

Oh fuck, there's a password?!

SERIOUSLY?!

UGH

Damntastic Despair-Last Monday at 4:39 PM

I think it’s a previous version of the epsilon unit

Or maybe I’m just assuming that because it’s made in reach

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 4:41 PM

i mean, that's a smart assumption.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

OMG

OF COURSE IT'S THE PASSWORD

Damntastic Despair-Last Monday at 4:42 PM

Caboose

You are adorable

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 4:44 PM

omg

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT

so... it's a preview for a ransom. Sure, that makes logical sense in every shape and form

sarcasm levels for Anya: 99%

Damntastic Despair-Last Monday at 4:46 PM

Of course

Of course that’s how this ends

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 4:47 PM

oh no fucking shit, whoever made the note has Grif!

OH MY GOD

LMFAO

Well, at least we know Grif's okay!

...And Donut too, I guess.

Time for the miniseries with a longer name I can't be bothered to type!

lmfao

that is a good question. I'm just hoping the answer is less mildly horrific than the reason there'd be two armies made up of imcompetant people fighting in a canyon in the middle of nowhere.

..actually, the "why is there a military base in the middle of a canyon" question has an answer. It's... it's not a particularly pleasant answer.

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 5:04 PM

OMG

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

HOLY FUCK

I mean, driving through a metal wall does seem impossible but... what material was the thing that Grif drove through in s8 e3?

...now that I think about it, that was rock.

never mind, this is a stupid idea

well, there goes the Warthog.

lmfao

Welp, that settles who gets the Helicopter. The Reds do.(edited)

for some reason, I'm having flashbacks.

lmao

pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffahahahaha

Okay, time to stop trying to hide from my work

Season 10 bingeing is... go!

So... we're in the past... yet Grifball exists... UM?!

THAT'S ANACHRONIC

Hi, Delta!

And hi, York!

Wait... oh shit, seems the implantation process has started or something

Or at least, the partnering up of the Freelancers and AIs have.

pffhaha

OH MY GOD

HOLY SHIT

...what's the name of the song playing?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

But also YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs

WOOO

TO THE ACTUAL PRESENT

epsilon, do not fly into a rage

do NOT

...Blue Team may or may not have... adopted Washington as one of their own while you were away, Epsilon.

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 8:00 PM

pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

omg

...well, I mean, he can't see or hear me so... fuck it. Still calling him Epsilon.

WAIT WHAT

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

AND BACK TO THE PAST!

...I love 479-er. So much.

"Out of the frying pan, and into the shit."

So... Carolina... "apparently" gave up her AI. So, this is after the implantation process.

Probably.

I think.

...What happened to Georgia?

OMG

"Why do cars hate me?"

That is a good question, Wash.

THAT WAS MCFUCKING AWESOME

...CT? What the hell are you doing?

CT? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

And back to the present!

WOOO!

...That's Simmons' choice of music for when he drives the Warthog.

I think I see why we let Grif drive.

and they're still going at it like an old married couple, I see.

Damntastic Despair-Last Monday at 8:18 PM

Didn't you listen to the song? Georgia's underneath a bus

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 8:18 PM

pfffffffffffffffffft

fair enough

Damntastic Despair-Last Monday at 8:19 PM

and Grif and Simmons are an old married couple, nobody can convince me otherwise(edited)

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 8:19 PM

same tho

i mean, come on. Everyone can see it.

Damntastic Despair-Last Monday at 8:20 PM

also what was the song you mentioned earlier?

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 8:20 PM

York was falling out of such and such ship.

First Episode.

oh, Carolina... you really didn't know what you were getting, did you?

OH, HEY, BACK TO THE PAST!

Hi, York!

...That was a rough landing, damn

Same tho, Wash. Because I doubt Georgia's just under a bus.

Oh god... CT was dating that guy... and she's going with him. Where are they going?!

And back to the present!

DAMMIT

WHERE'S EPSILON

Oh my god! He's hitching a ride! In Tucker's AI Storage unit!

Holy shit!

or... just his storage unit

eh

meh Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 8:41 PM

THE WORST TIMING, DIRECTOR

FUCK YOU

pffffffffffffffffft

I love you, Delta. You are amazing.

THAT WAS AWESOME!

AND BACK TO THE PRESENT!

Because getting dragged along is pretty much the only way you guys will be plot important!

I mean. It's the truth.

oh goddammit, where did the others go.

what are you two doing?

Oh, hey, this episode has a callback for a name!

...what?

The AI Maine got partnered with... used to be Carolina's?

Is that why she gave it/them up?

...Sigma. Okay.

dammit, Tucker!

DAMMIT, TUCKER!

Carolina, holy fucking shit can you be any more icy

AND BACK TO THE PAST!

WOAH, HOLY SHIT, IS THAT EVERYONE WITH THEIR HELMETS OFF?!

LEMME SEE AGAIN QUICK!

Dammit, we don't get to see Wash's face yet

Why the hell is Sigma burning?

No, really. Why the hell does Sigma look like that?

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 9:00 PM

4 stages of Rampancy... why the hell do I have a feeling that this is where Halo shit comes in

Would someone be willing to explain it to me?

best bubbles-Last Monday at 9:03 PM

Well, you remember how they said all AI's are based on people?

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 9:03 PM

yes

of course i do

best bubbles-Last Monday at 9:03 PM

That's Halo canon as well

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 9:03 PM

Huh

best bubbles-Last Monday at 9:04 PM

But as the AI ages, they kinda

Go crazy

rampancy is where they begin to degenerate mentally

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 9:05 PM

ohhhh

best bubbles-Last Monday at 9:06 PM

Many of them start to see themselves as superior to their creators

They also become violent and paranoid

In the end, the go the Skynet route

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 9:06 PM

oooooooo

oof

yyyyikes

best bubbles-Last Monday at 9:07 PM

Yep

You can think of it like an AI version of rabies

Only brought on by age

And for most AI, that age is around seven years

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 9:08 PM

hmmm

best bubbles-Last Monday at 9:09 PM

In Halo canon, the UNSC has a regulation for dealing with this called Final Dispensation

Basically AI euthanasia

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 9:09 PM

jesus

best bubbles-Last Monday at 9:09 PM

Yep

Which, in hindsight, makes Project Freelancer seem all the most dangerous

Imagine if they got their hands on a bunch of smart AI's instead of fragments

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 9:11 PM

oh fuck

best bubbles-Last Monday at 9:12 PM

Yeah

Don't even wanna think about that

if the mess they were already in was caused by fragments

God, would that mean they'd all become like the Meta?

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 9:14 PM

okay, I think that's enough thinking about that for tonight!

best bubbles-Last Monday at 9:14 PM

Yeah, bad thoughts ^^;

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 9:19 PM

okay, enough studying rampancy and AI, time to get back to binging!

best bubbles-Last Monday at 9:20 PM

Basically, you could rename it Skynet Syndrome : P

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 9:20 PM

pfffft

AND BACK TO THE PRESENT!

dammit, Carolina! You're just. You're making all the rookie mistakes with interacting with this crew, omg!

It's oddly amazing to watch

pffffft

wait, what? Oh, yeah, I guess you guys are criminals now because of the whole rescuing Epsilon thing.

huh

episode 7 is a go!

AND BACK TO THE PAST!

THE CHAIRMAN!

OH MY GOD

I'M HAVING FLASHBACKS TO RECONSTRUCTION NOW

Malcolm Hargrove, huh.

oh no

oh...

...I've never gotten a good look at Carolina's eyes before. That shade of green... it reminds me of fresh growing mint, almost.(edited)

AND BACK TO THE PRESENT

And this is our friendly reminder that Epsilon has the memories of a shit-ton of people

best bubbles-Last Monday at 9:39 PM

Carolina: mint flavor

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 9:39 PM

lol

best bubbles-Last Monday at 9:39 PM

Washington: salt flavor

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 9:39 PM

lmfao

best bubbles-Last Monday at 9:39 PM

really though, when you look back at how Wash used to be compared to today

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 9:40 PM

yeah

best bubbles-Last Monday at 9:40 PM

He was almost like the caboose of project freelancer

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 9:40 PM

speaking of the past, we're back in it!

HOLY SHIT

Alpha... Church, the one I've known for 6 fucking seasons--has been name-dropped

And Wash, please, oh please take off the helmet! Everyone else has! Please! I want to see what you look like under the helmet instead of coming up with shitty headcanons for what you look like!

Wash... are you eating a banana with the helmet on?!

best bubbles-Last Monday at 9:44 PM

Yes

yes he is

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 9:45 PM

OH MY GOD

ROOSTER TEETH, WTF

WHYYY

WHY ARE YOU FUCKING WITH US

PLEASE, I JUST WANNA SEE WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

and the episode's over

and i'm still mildly upset because

augh

you guys know

Also... who was the guy spying on CT and her group with Wyoming?

He had Blue armor, but not like--sim trooper regulation blue.

a more... cobalt-ish shade of blue

ahahahaha

The mcfucking callbacks here!

lmfao

AND BACK TO THE PRESENT AND OH DAMMIT

YAY, BACK TO THE MCFUCKING DESERT

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 10:00 PM

pfffft

AND BACK TO THE PAST, WOW WAS THAT SHORT

I love you, 479-er.

yep

My heart officially belongs to 479-er and Delta... as well as all the BGC... and Epsilon... and Wash... and a bunch of characters not even from this series and--well, I have a big heart, okay? There's enough to go around!

RIP, attempted reference/call forward

rip

THAT WAS COOL

woah boy

It's official. Cars, Warthogs in particular, have some sort of grudge against Wash.

oh my god

whatever's about to happen... it's gonna be epic

there is just no way, no fucking how I can trust Sigma. I mean... just look at the guy! He radiates untrustworthiness, holy shit

well, that was awesome

AND BACK TO THE PRESENT

best bubbles-Last Monday at 10:26 PM

He's also voiced by Elijah Wood

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 10:27 PM

Huh.

best bubbles-Last Monday at 10:27 PM

Frodo is now a flaming AI

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 10:27 PM

wait, what

w h a t

friendenemepanion

did i type that right?

pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

subtle call-back, i see

omg

We're gonna put Epsilon.. inside a motorcycle... okay, sure

AND BACK TO THE PAST

Oh shit, hi, Wyoming!

pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

oh god

I forgot he likes knock-knock jokes

oh, hi, Tex

AND BACK TO THE PRESENT

no, wait, never mind.

BACK TO THE PAST

...did we really need to leave?

woah

The unidentified Cobalt just pulled an ax out of his arm.

woah

WOAH

Damn, "Cobalt"'s pretty awesome!

...I feel bad for CT. She clearly's gotten some idea of the shit that is going on.

NO

wOAH

CT...

CT!

No

I'm actually... crying

this... how is this the first time this show's brought me to tears?

best bubbles-Last Monday at 10:46 PM

hugs

Emotions are complicated

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 10:48 PM

oh

so... that's why we returned to the desert... okay then

why is it now that i get to be punched in the gut by this show, though? There were... there were other moments, so many other moments.

so why now?

Edventure Quest-Last Monday at 10:52 PM

What's happening

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 10:52 PM

ct

i just finished season 10, episode 10

Edventure Quest-Last Monday at 10:55 PM

Oh- ;;

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Monday at 10:55 PM

imma need some time to... to think on all this.

And it's almost 11, I should have gone to sleep long ago anyways.

Edventure Quest-Last Monday at 11:03 PM

Get some rest okay?

 2/06/18

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 9:09 AM

Okay so. I've had some time, time to get back to binging.

Time for Episode 11, Out of Body

And we're in the present!

I believe Epsilon's former body of residence is probably still in the old Freelancer Training Building.

hmmmm

AND BACK TO THE PAST WHERE OH, LOOK

MORE RECONSTRUCTION FLASHABCKS

HOLY MCSHIT

YORK AND NORTH ARE DRESSED IN SOMETHING THAT ISN'T A UNIFORM OR A SUIT OF ARMOR

THIS IS

THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING

yeah... two people in the same head... I can see how that'd be an experience.

Huh, the name of the next episode is also the name of the first miniseries I had to watch.

That's... a thing.

Oh.

OH NO

AUGH

we're back to the present and...

there's the fucking intro chords for reconstruction.

and recovery one, too, i guess

damn

oh god

augh

omg

oh

oh no

oh god

oh god.

that's the most i've ever cried because of this show.

what... what did she say to him, anyways?

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

I think I like Carolina now

And so... now we're going back to Valhalla.

A lot of things are keys in this series, apparently.

lmao

AND BACK TO THE PAST

hi Gamma... nice to see you?

well, I mean, I'm pretty sure Tex is doing most of the work. She's a bit of a badass, after all.

oooooooooooooooooooo

catfight, catfight

dammit, Carolina, you think you know. But you don't

DAMMIT, CAROLINA

dammit, Carolina.

...never mind, I'm pretty sure South is the actual embodiment of rage, Omega can just pack up and go home.

Um... is that supposed to be a call-forward or is it oddly fitting just to hear Wash say recovery one?

AND BACK TO THE PRESENT

and...

that was short

BACK TO THE PAST

hoo bo y

this is going to be a fight, alright

ah fuck

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 10:01 AM

AND BACK TO THE PRESENT

...what?

what?

This... something's off. But... in a good way.

ahahahahAAHAHAHAAHAHA

OH MY GOD

DONUT'S ALIVE?!

OH

MY

GOD

lmfao

What the hell do you mean, "might be"? They are

AND BACK TO THE PAST!

oh god.

freelancer's started unraveling.

good

I have never, ever hated the Director like I do right(edited)

now

what the shit

there's just... an empty hole inside of me... no wait, there's the anger

AND BACK TO THE PRESENT, WHERE I WILL HOPEFULLY FORGET EVERY SHITTY THING I JUST SAW BECAUSE

GOD

And back to the past, and I didn't forget, which sucks

Oh god

OH GOD NO

NO

CT... you... you were incredible.

and...

oh god

oh no

so... we know where to find the director.

Good.

He needs to pay.

Edventure Quest-Last Tuesday at 10:33 AM

Good Anya, give into the darkness.

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 10:35 AM

I can't see a reason why, for any of his crimes. He couldn't let go. But that is no reason to drag innocent fucking people into his shit. That is no reason to make an AI copy of his personality, then put that AI through countless horrible scenarios just to break him apart. THAT IS NO GODAMN REASON TO DO THE THINGS HE'S DONE

AND THAT? THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME HATE HIM SO MUCH

I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY SOME ASSHOLES DO WHAT THEY DO. I CAN TRY AND MAKE SENSE OF THE MOTIVES BEHIND THE SHIT OF XEHANORT AND JUNKO. BUT DOING SUCH

SUCH HORRIBLE THINGS? WITH NO GOOD, EXPLAINABLE REASON?!

THAT'S FUCKING IT

THE DIRECTOR NEEDS. TO. DIE.

i don't think i've ever hated so much.

Edventure Quest-Last Tuesday at 10:37 AM

But what about the reds and blues?

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 10:39 AM

...At the end of the day, they're victims of all this bullshit as well. And who's to say that the use of Sim Troopers started with the Director?! But, yeah, they're fucking victims of his bullshit too. ...I wish I could say I could understand why the director would go off a slope, and nearly drag everyone else down with him.

BUT I CAN'T

AND I FUCKING

...i just

I need some time to clear my head of this rage

maybe punch a wall or something.

okay, i've punched a wall a couple of times.

it did not help.

just makes my hand hurt

god, do i hate that man

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 3:23 PM

Man, if you hate the director this much...

I can't wait until you get to season 15

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 3:24 PM

why?

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 3:24 PM

Well, I had a very similar rage-filled reaction to the main antagonist of that season

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 3:24 PM

huh.

that bodes fucking well

also, I have now cleared my head of the unstoppable anger

let's try and finish the season.

And they've started the AI removal process after Wash had Epsilon for a few days.

at least a few days.

I'm pretty sure Omega's the one who piloted the getting the fuck out of there,, tbh.

oh my god. York and Tex are working together... oh god. Are they... they're trying to rescue Alpha?

aaaaand back to the present!

omg

...

wow

that was...

yeah

fuck

this... this is the season where i start fucking crying Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 3:50 PM

of course it goddamn is

i got off easy for the last ten, but now?

ahahaha

here come the fucking tears'

...

yeah, there is nothing i can say here

and back to the past...

jesus fucking christ, how many random soldiers will be voiced by ian and anthony from smosh this season anyways?!

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 4:00 PM

oh god

she tossed him a lighter

probably the lighter she originally took from him

oh god

the mother of invention just crashed

aUGH

oh god

Church...?

oh

oh god

i'm legit fucking bawling for the... three people curious, fyi

Edventure Quest-Last Tuesday at 4:05 PM

*eyes emoji*

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 4:05 PM

I'm 10 minutes into episode 19

fuck

Maine, what are you doin---Carolina?!

Is she alright?

OH GOD

META... THE FUCK

episode 19... i finished it

ha

hahaha

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 4:13 PM

Season 10 does not withold the gut punches

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 4:13 PM

it is not

it's time for episode 20. I don't think we'll be going back to the past any more.

omg

I forgot Grif kinda, sorta... has the knifle now.

and yes, i am calling it a knifle

if we can call crescent rose a sycfle, then we can call the brute shot a knifle

oh, great. now the UNSC people come.

Fucking joyyyyy

That was easy.

funny. I have this weird feeling.

Like we're never going to see this place again.

and...

oh shit.

It's a horde of Tex.

And we all saw episode 10 of Season 8.

This is going to either suck or be amazing.

Episode 21 time

Oh, hey, CGI in the modern day! That hasn't been seen for a while!

oh shit

CAROLINA!

...oh, look!

HERE COMES THE CAVALRY!

IN ALL THEIR SOMEHOW AWESOME GLORY!

OH MY GOD

IS THAT...

I KNOW THAT MELODY LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND

OH MY GOD

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THAT WAS AWESOME

oh come the fuck on, why are we mirroring the dialogue which made me sob not 30 minutes ago

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

that was incredible

and... now it's time.

time for the director... to get what's coming to him.

he needs to pay, alright

...they have... ha ha ha... they have the same eyes.

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 4:43 PM

Oh man.

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 4:43 PM

About what?

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 4:43 PM

This is my second favourite scene in RvB

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 4:45 PM

ha

hahahaha

my god

and i guess.

I guess that the main quest... has ended.

Now what, though?

...Where are we going?

Back to the past?!

Really?!

WAIT, WHAT

CAPTAIN FLOWERS... WAS A FREELANCER?!

AGENT FLORIDA, NO LESS?!

HE'S THE COBALT GUY?!

WHAT THE HELL, THOUGH?

WHAT THE HELL EVEN HAPPENED TO THAT STATE, THOUGH?!

wait what

They fucking

destroyed florida

the state

just for a cover story

Okay, there's horrible

there's terrible

there's a point of no return

But this? This is just incredulous

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 4:51 PM

Project Freelancer: Fucked up.

best bubbles-Last Tuesday at 4:51 PM

I remember how much the reveal mindfucked me

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 4:51 PM

i give up

i give the fuck up on ever understanding anything to do with project freelancer

i just

I already gave up once

I'm doing it again, but with real meaning

ahahaha

Where are we now, guys?

They... we're home.

Ahahaha.

She does sound like a smart lady.

Carolina, Epsilon... good luck, you two.

And it's over.

I finished Season 10 and god was that an emotional wringer(edited)

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 5:00 PM

Season 11 is a lot less of an emotional roller coaster than Season 10 was

as is Season 12, and most of Season 13

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 5:00 PM

...most of Season 13

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 5:00 PM

But yes, now you're at the Chorus Trilogy!

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 5:00 PM

That... that bodes...

...what were you going to say, V?

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 5:05 PM

i don't think I was going to say anything?

other than The Chorus Trilogy is amazing

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 5:06 PM

you were typing

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 5:06 PM

I was? eh, whatever, I don't remember what I was gonna say

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 5:06 PM

ahh

so, um

What was the AU you wanted to tell me?

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 5:18 PM

an AU where all the AI are Carolina's flesh and blood siblings

When someone asks why she's named Carolina while all her siblings have names like Alpha, Omega, Epsilon, etc. she responds with "My mom named me."

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 5:19 PM

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT

We could call that AU: "The one where Carolina is annoyed by her various idiot and jerkass brothers. Constantly."

"The idiot friends of two of them don't help."

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 5:22 PM

Theta is obviously the youngest sibling

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 5:22 PM

clearly

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 5:22 PM

and if anyone ever hurt him, they get all 8 angry siblings coming after them

also, did you pick up on the fact that Beta was Tex?

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 5:23 PM

yes, I did.

that and TVTropes has spelled it out for me.

It's handy for that.

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 5:26 PM

it is

so there are two Church Jrs and a Tex Jr. in this AU family

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 5:27 PM

pfffffffffffffffffffft

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 5:27 PM

completely ignoring the sexual tension between any incarnations of Church and Tex though, because incest=gross

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 5:28 PM

yep

i'm not sure I'm ready for Season 11

I know you said it's supposed to be lighter, but...

i'm not sure i'm ready

Edventure Quest-Last Tuesday at 5:37 PM

The Chorus Trilogy won't hurt you...too much

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 5:37 PM

oh. that makes it all better.

...you know? Life is short. Might as well start it.

Damntastic Despair-Last Tuesday at 5:45 PM

You won't be hit too hard in the gut during Season 11

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 5:46 PM

that's... reassuring.

dammit

So that's what happened.

We got shipwrecked.

Joy.

glorious.

I mean, that is an accurate description of movie trailers nowadays

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 6:02 PM

Oh my god

That organizational chart tho

Anya should get back to bingeing-Last Tuesday at 8:26 PM

http://archiveofourown.org/works/2189811/chapters/4795215

so, I found this

It's good. Really good. I guess I can thank TVTropes for guiding me to it.

 2/07/18

Anya should get back to bingeing-Yesterday at 2:31 PM

Okay so

I have some time before I need to start packing up

Let's see how much of Season 11 I can get through today!

wha?

Who's there?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS TRAINING COURSE?!

That plan could work, actually!

...we... we really could just cut out the middle man and use the radio transmitter itself?

so...

dammit, Tucker.

yeah...

How long has it fucking been since the ship crashed, anyways?

of fucking course

The next episode's name implies that we're finally going to get a start on getting out of this goddamn canyon-in-a-jungle! WOOOOO

WE'RE GETTING A SIGNAL!

Anya should get back to bingeing-Yesterday at 3:01 PM

of course

sigh

dammit, don't know why I got myself excited there.

so... I

I'm just going to set my things going wrong timer to five seconds.

It seems appropriate.

i'm dying a bit inside.

just a little bit.

Um

...Okay then

Oh goddammit.

holy shitak

...wha?

Who's that?!

 2/10/18

Anya-Today at 12:20 PM

okay i've been putting this off, time for more binging!

Episode 7 time

...that is a good question.

...

i'm going to blame halo game mechanics for that

I would've called it a chameleon then!

ehehehehe

uhh

i'm scared of Freckles

very scared

didn't we already do this in Season 4, dammit?

...

okay, guys, the fourth wall is mcfucking fragile, please don't try and shatter it.

okay... that's the second time we've gone into a random sniper shot, with no logical explanation for who's watching, or why.

I don't have a good feeling about this.

wait wait wait

WHO FORGOT THE MUSIC?!

Anya-Today at 1:00 PM

better

aww man

also... dammit, guys

just... in general

o boy

this is going to be... yeah

oh no

oh no

oh no

lmfao

...wait a fucking minute

....that's Tex's theme

but

what

OH FUCKING HELL

COME ON

YOU DO NOT, ROOSTER TEETH

YOU DO NOT

UGH

...

...no

...you didn't

...that pilot.... that ship was our hope for getting out of this fucking place.

...seriously, please tell me you didn't.

DAMMIT, DONUT

FUCKING

DAMMIT

...huh.

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU, X-BOX COLORED GUY?!

Anya-Today at 1:28 PM

So... I'm blaming Grif and Tucker for us being stuck here.

best bubbles-Today at 1:28 PM

Valid

Anya-Today at 1:30 PM

wait... does Red Team actually get to carry the plot for a change?! Because if so... fuck yeah!

best bubbles-Today at 1:31 PM

They finally have something to contribute

Anya-Today at 1:32 PM

pfffffffffffft

...hmm?

Oh, it's you. Weird... X-Box guy.

I'm already scared of you.

That's record time

...Locus.

Okay, sure.

best bubbles-Today at 1:34 PM

At first I thought his name was Locust

Anya-Today at 1:34 PM

Wherever we are... we're sure as fuck not alone.

You know, there's a reason I watch with subtitles on. It's mostly to make sure I don't fuck up with the names.

What

you guys have a SIRI here

what

WHAT

THERE'S ANOTHER ONE SPYING ON US

...AND THIS ONE... DOES HE KNOW US?!

I mean, he said, and I quote: "Holy shit. It's actually them."

wha

So... this guy... may know who the Locus fuck is? And... he clearly doesn't like him.

gah

so... the ship... literally broke in half

joy

...where the fuck is the other half, then?

...Grif... I think you might want to back away from that.

best bubbles-Today at 1:43 PM

These guys are not good pilots, are they?

Anya-Today at 1:44 PM

well, yeah, but i'm talking about the weird-ass glowy sticky things

that remind me of bombs

or grenades

and seriously wow, i'm just getting a bad feeling here

we sure they don't do anything except stick?

SON OF A BIT--I knew it.

WHAT THE SHIT

Oh my god! Those things are like mini-teleporters in and out of hammerspace!

HOLY SHIT

or.... teleporter cube

What are you doing, Wash.

WHAT?!

WE HAVE AN INTERNET CONNECTION NOW?!

awwwwww

but still cool

HOLY SHIT, THE CUBES ARE!

I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T PUT THAT TOGETHER!

HOLY SHIT

Anya-Today at 2:00 PM

WHO ARE YOU, ORANGE STRIPED FUCK

...okay, so maybe you're here to help us

maybe

I'm not sure I trust you just yet

"It's about twenty hours long, and I only enjoy telling it in 5 minute intervals."

Ahem. Our fourth wall is fragile(edited)

And the fourth wall needs to be protected. Please, just listen to me for once.

please

pfffffffffffft

Welp, now we have 3 people to blame for this.

omg

The radio... was turned off.

Wow.

...

what

...what?!

what the fuck?!

oh fuck

...that ship...

It looks familiar

Do you think it's--no, no, the Mother of Invention crashed, it can't be.

I repeat: I am scared of Freckles.

that was so sweet

Anya-Today at 3:03 PM

ah... fuck

...16? No, wait, lemme pull up a count of people I know to be here... that'd be... 11. Who are the other 5?!

OH SHIT

WHAT THE SHIT

WHO THE FUCK WAS AIMING FOR WASH?!

AND, THANK YOU, ORANGE-STRIPED DUDE

...what the shit?!

WHAT THE SHIT?!

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

Well, I mean... yeah.

Felix... okay then.

NO

WE HAVE NO REAL CLUE

...huh?

Chorus? That's what this place is called?

Well, that makes sense, this is called the Chorus Trilogy after all.

also.... ugh

Welp, that's 4 people to blame for our current situation

I hope you four are proud of yourselves.

...what

Crash-landed in the middle of a civil war.

yay

ughhhh

...were you going to say something, Jake?

best bubbles-Today at 3:18 PM

No, sorry

Typed in the wrong chat ^^;

Anya-Today at 3:18 PM

aaaah

rip

best bubbles-Today at 3:19 PM

Also, crash landing in the middle of a civil war

Sounds just like the BGC, doesn't it?

Anya-Today at 3:19 PM

honestly, yes

it does.

Sooo... One side, the side that's not actively trying to murder us, is called The New Republic. Gotcha.

pfffffffffft

I can't believe it.

The greatest soldiers in the galaxy?

are you sure you're not thinking of... anyone else?!

best bubbles-Today at 3:22 PM

I mean

They did kinda kill several freelancers

Anya-Today at 3:22 PM

...true.

best bubbles-Today at 3:22 PM

Some unintentionally, but still

Anya-Today at 3:23 PM

fair enough

but... the greatest?

I... I have to doubt that, deep down.

soooooooooooo

what you're saying is... time to be part of a rebellion. That we know... very little about.

Sure, why not

But also.... no.

Why?

We're still mcfucking stranded and... again, you're asking the Blood Gulch Crew. Despite what you may think, they're only occasionally competent.

wait what

Ohhhh... you mean the mercenary definition of Freelancer that was used back in Season 1 and never again.

oh

...what?

What do you mean, "about to be hit... hard."?

They... probably aren't.

But, well... they did take down the Meta. And an entire army of Tex. So maybe we won't die after all.

let's prepare for a battle.

....those are the stupidest landmines ever.(edited)

Of all time.

how about we don't try and re-activate the malfunctioning robot who tried to murder everyone?

That seems smart.

welp. seems there's still some problems with the helmet.

yayyyy

Yeah, where are Epsilon and Carolina anyways?

The Federal Army... that's our enemy, it seems.

...shitty name for an opposing side.

...You know what, Felix? I think I may like you yet.

Edventure Quest-Today at 3:49 PM

Pretty chill guy. I like Felix

Anya-Today at 3:51 PM

Well, who knew? Wash is back in... a pretty close replication of his old armor.

Edventure Quest-Today at 3:52 PM

Noice

Anya-Today at 3:53 PM

ah great. I mean... I can understand why Lopez Dos is doing this... kinda. But now is not the goddamn time

Oh look, it is a Robot battle now.

Yay?

OH SHIT

WE GOT LOCUS HERE NOW

AND I'M GOING GUESS MORE ON THE WAY

YEP, DEFINITELY MORE

FUCK

also... where the hell is Doc?

Eh. We'll focus on that later

WE GOT A BATTLE TO FIGHT

WOOOOO

oh

WOOOOOO

Anya-Today at 4:01 PM

AHAHAHAHAHA

WOOOOO

NICE ONE, DONUT!

....dammit Donut.

OH SHIT, NOT

Oh thank god

YAHAHAHA, WOOHOO TUCKER!

...oh crap

OH CRAP

LOPEZ!

WOOO

NO

WASH

SARGE

FUCK YOU, LOCUS!

...what was that?

wait...

we got backup

but... oh no.

oh no no no no

WASH

WASH, PLEASE, COME ON

NO

NO, YOU IDIOT

NO

NO

no

no

nononononono

...

no

...

I

no

Sarge, Donut, Wash, Lopez... we left them all behind.

WE LEFT THEM BEHIND, WE SHOULD HAVE STAYED LONGER

WE DON'T EVEN KNOW IF SARGE IS STILL ALIVE!

...

no

...it's time for the final episode... I guess.

And... hey, wait, is it starting on a call-back to Season 3? I feel like it is.

...So this is the New Republic base.

...no

no

hi, there, Miss Kimball... I guess.

i... i can't believe it.

I don't want to believe it.

They... they can't be dead.

Edventure Quest-Today at 4:17 PM

hugs Shhh

Anya-Today at 4:18 PM

Those fucks have pulled through worse and weirder, they have to be alive!

i

...they have to be

THEY'RE ALIVE

OH THANK FUCK

Well... that makes our course obvious.

I don't know what's going on here. But half of our crew is being held captive by these guys you people call your enemy. So... let's fight this goddamn war.

And the promise of fucking off and getting as far away from Chorus afterwards?! FUCK YEAH

...so... we're putting these 4 in charge of troops. Sure, why the hell not.

So there's a stinger. Let's watch that.

Wait... that crate... why would it need to be recovered?

...Carolina?

CAROLINA?!

HWAT

...that's why you got him to keep them alive.

thanks

BUT ALSO WHAT THE FUCL

Anya-Today at 4:48 PM

I can't believe I just finished Season 11.

I'm like

I'm mcfucking shook to the shookiest degree because

well

a lot of things

Damntastic Despair-Today at 4:50 PM

The chorus trilogy only gets better from here

Edventure Quest-Today at 4:50 PM

pats

Things get better

But things get worse.

Anya-Today at 4:50 PM

...

i'm not sure how to respond to either of those because one is things getting better, but things getting worse, and the other is V saying it only gets better from here.

And I don't know how much I trust V

Edventure Quest-Today at 4:52 PM

That's all you get from moi. Take my words as you see fit

Damntastic Despair-Today at 4:54 PM

I say better as in the story gets more interesting as it goes on

Anya-Today at 4:54 PM

yeah

that's why i didn't know how to respond to your comment

Damntastic Despair-Today at 4:54 PM

Also, VA reference time

Locus: Roman

Kimball: Ruby

And Felix: Jaune

Anya-Today at 4:59 PM

.....

..........

so that's the reason I like Felix so much!

 2/12/18

Anya-Today at 3:41 PM

So like, I'm going to try and complete the next few seasons before I start writing down any more stuff for the AU soooo

Season 12 time!

Wooo!

best bubbles-Today at 3:41 PM

Woo!

Anya-Today at 3:42 PM

Let's go!

Oh god. Of course.

lmao

Heyyy, CGI! Haven't seen that in a whiel

*while

fucking hell, me

I can't fucking believe these guys are captains.

THE PASSWORD WAS PASSWORD, FUCKING OF COURSE

I feel, so, so bad for the New Republic right now.

...I see the problem here.

You're trusting them with plans

Th--nothing they've ever accomplished had any real plans behind the actions! Just spur of the moment tactics that led to them not dying!

Anya-Today at 4:02 PM

Well, that was a thing. On to Episode 2!

Yeahhh, can't believe it took you so long to realize that they are, in fact, kind of dumb.

oh. oh my god.

A fucking lead.

god dammit.

RUN

RUN, YOU GODDAMN IDIOT

well, this all went to hell in a handbasket very fast

son of a bitch

Episode 3 and... hey, isn't this what happened when the Meta was defeated?

Is this referencing how Chekov's Gun works as a trope?

Also... sigh

lol

You know where they are?!

Suicide and a bunch of puppies dying.

I like that analogy for some reason.

5 days...

hoo boy

Episode 4

...how?

...Um. That's a good question.

I don't think there's an answer.

oh my god

we could be... actually training right now

but nope

instead we get this

I'm not even sure I'm surprised

OH MY GOD

I mean, according to the rules of calling dibs... Grif's in charge now.

But... those aren't the best rules to follow so....

let's disregard that.

Felix... standing around and talking is their fucking bread and butter.

I mean, if you want to watch this trainwreck that is these guys, I could just give you the way to the youtube channel

Episode 5

pffffffffffft

Felix, how can you be so ...iunno, yet so lovable?

This is going to be great.

sigh

Time to watch all the ways these 8 fail!

Woo!

lmao

SON OF A BITCHPFFFFFAHAHAHA

 2/13/18

Anya-Today at 4:07 PM

so... I have the time (and lack of people I'm showing the series to in the house) to continue watching Season 12 today!

Let's go

...huh?

Kimball, lady... ya mind explaining?

Wanderer of the Shade-Today at 4:13 PM

Whelp, I finished Season 14 of RvB. It had some fun and some feels, BUT NOW I CAN GET TO S15 WHOO!

Anya-Today at 4:13 PM

Oh... oh these kids haven't heard the story of the Blood Gulch Chronicles yet. You don't know about the whole... team-killing fucktard thing. Oh, you four are innocent.

Oh... lmao

I still feel bad for the rebels. They have to put up with... these idiots and their various... yeah.

Oh, great, back to the plot shit.

Oh?

Well, this is going to be interesting...

Woo!

Oh? We're not bringing the other four? Well, I mean, I think I can see why we want to keep them out of this. What we want to do--rescue the others-- isn't part of their fight.

I mean... yeah.

The Federal Army will be expecting actual, real smart fighters trying to get into this base. Not a bunch of lucky idiots who somehow manage to be badass.

Let's do this!

I wonder that on a daily basis.

WOAH, HEY, WHAT'S WITH THE CGI?

...and why does it give me a bad feeling about this?

JESUS FUCK A CORPSE

oh shit

We're almost at the base... almost there.

WHAT

I mean... okay, sure?

GYAH, DEFINITELY WORKED

Unnamed Voice...? Jesus fuck, that's either the subtitler giving no shits or a hint I should be suspicious.

guys... isn't the obvious answer to try and hide?

...you know what, I shouldn't even bother suggesting these plans any more.

lmfao

holy

mcfuck

THERE WASN'T EVEN ANY SNOW THERE!

EVER!

oh shit

I repeat: oh shit

I think worst case scenario is everyone dying.

But, like, my opinion doesn't matter here, so sure, y'all do whatever the fuck you want

There have been worse plans.

...what?

It just opened...

...

Guys?

...What?

what?!

WHAT?!

Caboose, the fourth wall is still fragile

Okay, so, quick recap for those not keeping up with my reactions, I just finished Season 12, Episode 8. Time for a flashback couple of episodes, it seems.

Yeah, sure, Locus, like I'm going to believe a word that come out of your mouth.

Wash, what the hell is happening?

And we're back to the "Wash suffering by account of being the only sane person within 15 miles show"!

Wow. That is not a good officer.

He literally fainted.

...This Emily chick is mildly amazing and mildly frightening.

Damntastic Despair-Today at 4:55 PM

More VA facts

Doyle is voiced by the same guy who does the voices for both Roman and Locus

Anya-Today at 4:56 PM

what

Damntastic Despair-Today at 4:56 PM

and Doctor Gray is voiced by Blake's voice actor

Anya-Today at 4:56 PM

....what

Damntastic Despair-Today at 4:56 PM

Yup

as for the 4... privates, I think

Andersmith-Port Jenkins-Yang Palomo-Neptune

I don't think Bitters's VA has a role in RWBY, but I could be wrong

Anya-Today at 4:57 PM

they're lieutenants, actually

but also... wow

holy shit, wow

yes, Doyle, you should've

Anya-Today at 5:00 PM

Oh my fucking god

this guy's a secretary.

...

oh my fucking god

there's competent people to put in charge, there's incompetent people to put in charge

this?

I have no words for this

...FRECKLES!

NO

NO

...

a moment of silence for Freckles...

Also, Locus... I still hate you.

I hate you a lot more right now, in fact.

HOLY SHIT.

HE UNDERSTANDS SPANISH

THIS IS A FUCKING WONDER IN THIS UNIVERSE

So... the moral I've gotten here is... something's off about this war.

We're probably going to find out what.

And back to the present!

oh... oh shit, yeah... it's silent.

That isn't right.

...what the shit

what the shit

...what

oh shit

oh shit

oh fuck

we... we are in some deep, deep fucking shit now

...fuck you, Felix, and fuck you, Locus.

fuck both of you.

hey

hey, Felix.

Have you been tricked into thinking you were sent into the future?

Have you taken down not just two evil AI, but an honest-to-god Freelancer?

Damntastic Despair-Today at 5:22 PM

Hey, you got to the bit where Felix reveals his true colors!

Anya-Today at 5:23 PM

Have you fought with the Meta, more than once, and lived to see another day? Hell, have you managed to take that motherfucker out?!

Have you beaten an army of Tex clones?

No?

Then you, however great a mercenary you may be, have no fucking place to talk about being a great soldier.

Also, hi V, yes I have.

actually, as much as it pains me to say it, Locus is right. There are.

And, still paining me to say it, but Locus is right again. You kill people quickly, you don't fucking monologue in their faces, that just gives a Big Damn Heroes moment time to set up.

CAROLINA?!

CAROLINA!

WOOHOOO

Oh, hey, seems Emily Gray is coming along for the ride...

also what the fuck

EPSILON!

YES! YES, I DID MISS YOU!

Okay, so after that, I'm going to stop for today.

Watch 5 a day, I should be done with Season 12 by Thursday for me. Damntastic Despair-Today at 5:34 PM

only five? Wimp. :P

Anya-Today at 5:34 PM

Hey. I watched like, all of Season 3 in one day.

And Season 2, and I think Season One, too.

I think I've done my share of one-sitting-bingeing.

Damntastic Despair-Today at 5:35 PM

Fair enough

 2/14/18

Anya-Today at 1:50 PM

so looking at the playlist

holy fuck, why are there 33 episodes for Season 13?!

Is that like

a goof or something or is it just genuinely that long???????

holy fuck

so... anyways, bingeing is goooo

And yet another flashback as we see what Epsilon and Carolina have been up to!

ooo, CGI

this is all cool as fuck!

omg

this is fucking amazing!

that was fucking amazing from start to finish and I haven't even reached the end of the episode

Anya-Today at 2:02 PM

That was an awesome episode

And back to the present, where maybe we can finally get some perspective on what the goddamn hell is going on on this planet!

Ohhh, Emily... you do not want to hear this story. It's long and confusing, and I'm not totally sure how to summarize it.

Well, okay, Emily, let's hear your take on these idiots!

yeah, it does. I'm pretty sure Project Freelancer has something to do with all this because... it always does! Even when we don't think it exists, it does! Even when we're pretty sure it's something else entirely, it does!

What did Project Freelancer do this time?

pfffffffffffffft

they had a mcfucking news article about them

holy mcfuck

I mean, yeah. There have definitely been enough plot twists for one lifetime for you guys.

ohhh

oh shit

someone set this up so the ship would crash on Chorus

Damntastic Despair-Today at 2:11 PM

There’s a lot of bonus content in the season 13 playlist, it’s about the average size of an RvB season

Anya-Today at 2:12 PM

ohhhhh

gotcha

...that's what you're focusing on here, okay then... wait, Simmons... what did you do?

pfffffffffffffffffflmao

we are very likely fucked.

that is all I've gotten out of conclusions for our situation today.

we are very likely amazingly fucked.

so, effectively, the Federal Army and New Republic think we're dead. Great. And we're all likely to die anyways. Great.(edited)

fucking hell

So that's why the knifle hasn't shown up!

holy shit the possession trick makes its return after 6 seasons!

Never have I related more to something Caboose has said.

dibs protocol, fuckers

...an IQ of 240?!

Lady, holy fuck, you're like, a genius

woohoo, let's split up gang.

Anya Sarcasm levels: 51%

Felix, my man... I loathe you

Yet I also kinda like you.

Damntastic Despair-Today at 2:36 PM

that's Felix for you

you hate him for what he does

but yet he's still so goddamn charming

Anya-Today at 2:39 PM

Okay, the actual priority for our missions: don't get fucking captured. We aren't going on any more goddamn rescue missions.

oh crap.

what the fuck is this place...

and we're back to Crash Site Bravo.

yay?

and now we're back to the other crash site!

yeah... so fucking creep---wtf

OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK

WHY THE FUCK IS THERE ANOTHER SPACESHIP HOLY FUCK

oh no

oh fuck

ohhhh

fuck

that's a lot of hostiles.

Woo! We have the manifest!

OH NO

oh thank god

So... time to interrogate this Space Pirate. This'll be horrible.

...Everyone's grown from the guys they were back in Blood Gulch. I'm going through the earlier seasons with my parents and... comparing them in Season 1 to them in Season 12... yeah, my god. They've changed.

sigh

goddammit. Our needed files are under lockdown. Yay.

Anya-Today at 3:01 PM

oh boy

this... this is gonna be interesting

...remind me to never get on Dr. Grey's bad side.

Wanderer of the Shade-Today at 3:03 PM

Ehehehe-

Anya-Today at 3:04 PM

jesus fuck

...tractor beams?

so, that's why we crashlanded.

okay.

jesus FUCL

wait... so the guys fucking around... probably saved us all.

so... thanks, I guess.

actually, no "I guess" about it, thanks.

your mutual idiocy saved us all from death.

FUCK

WE GOT PROBLEMS

AND A LOT OF THEM INCOMING

...oh no.

...what?

back at the gas station???

wha--how?

oh

Well, I have time today... might as well watch more.

and... fuck, I had almost forgotten. Both sides of the civil war are probably being led into a trap... oh no.

...they're delivering what is practically the same speech, aren't they?

I love the lieutenants.

A lot.

fucking hell, Locus.

fucking hell, Locus and probably Felix too because it seems like you guys are just saying the same things to different sides at this point.

Anya-Today at 4:00 PM

I mean... we're used to it.

One argument ain't going to tear shit apart among this group.

wow

Awww, that was sweet!

wait what

...Felix.

...huh?

So... we've been offered a way out. ...something's fishy about this, really.

and, again, I love the lieutenants.

ugh...

I detest the pirates.

...god, how is a show based off of people standing around and talking so good at making me despise their villains?

...And fucking terrible is apparently our best option.

wait

There's an Option D in this.

We teleport directly to the Capitol, and stop it from there.

Now, I know that sounds even worse than nightmare, butttt

Would anyone be expecting it?

No!

And that's what gives us the advantage!

and...

oh no

Oh come the fuck on

Episode 18 is called "Fed vs New", which sickens me and makes me wonder how I didn't pick up on that before at the same time

Woohoo but also fuck

Oh look, seems like the people of Chorus are about to figure this shit out on their own! Good for them!

dammit

oh fuck

ah\

ahahaha

WOOOO

Something I'd just like to point out here: Wash sounded a bit younger there for a second. He just said, in response to nearly falling off a cliff: "It's not a car, it's a cliff." In what is probably the most panicked tone of voice I've heard from him.

wha... Felix... you're saying that about the one guy in the universe that we know has an Energy Sword. Your chances of not dying are decreasing by the second.

best bubbles-Today at 4:39 PM

Felix needs to learn when to shut his piehole

Anya-Today at 4:39 PM

he does, doesn't he?

You know, I feel like, at a certain point, these two mercenaries... they just manage to make me lose all respect for them. Because A: People change, they learn and grow and become better people, and B: ...okay. I don't have a B. But they're causing mass genocide for no good reason. That's a reason to hate them!

pfffffffffffffffffffffft

Locus, you call yourself a mercenary and a soldier. I'm pretty sure that, at some point, there's a difference between the two.

you know... I think I know why I hate these guys almost as much, if not as much, as I do the Director. Because I'm pretty sure the Director wasn't a sociopath.(edited)

SHIT

WHAT

NO

NO

NONONONONONO

Damntastic Despair-Today at 4:45 PM

?

Anya-Today at 4:45 PM

TUCKER

HE JUST GOT FUCKING STABBED IN THE GUT

oh god no

oh god

and back to the capitol... oh god no

oh

oh

oh thank god

Hey, Felix... you still talking shit, I see. Keep talking.

That won't backfire at all.

Heya, Epsilon.

AHAHAHAHA

OH MY GOD

PERFECT!

THE HELMET CAM, OF COURSE

And that monologue while you should've been keeping your eyes on the others? Pffft, Felix, you're making so many fucking mistakes, it's amazing!

perfect

fuck you, mercenaries.

AND OH GOD

TUCKER, PLEASE, PLEASE BE ALRIGHT!

Oh... oh my god.

They've made it to safety.

And the lieutenants have stories of their own to tell

Oh...

oh thank god

he's alright

oh my god

Freckles is a gun now. I completely forgot about that

Damntastic Despair-Today at 4:59 PM

FRECKLES

Anya-Today at 5:02 PM

pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

ahahahaha

WE'VE GOT THE MANIFEST?!

YEAH AHAHAWOOOHOOO

Charon Industries? Weren't they the people that Project Freelancer was fighting or something?

ohhhhh

yeahhhhhhh

huh

huh?

...hmmmm

Huh?!

Oh, this... this is going to be interesting!

wait... the Chairman?!

That speech was awesome

And I finished Season 12.

Damntastic Despair-Today at 5:11 PM

Season 13 is coming up

prepare for lighthearted happy funtimes!

Anya-Today at 5:11 PM

...

...

I doubt that.

Damntastic Despair-Today at 5:11 PM

in all seriousness though Season 13 is great

 2/15/18

Anya-Today at 11:10 AM

so then

Time to start on Season 13!

I'll probably be skipping over most of the side videos, but I think I'll start by watching the trailer for Season 13

OML

Epsilon made a version of the series for the new chairman of blabbity blah

...WHAT

WHAT?!

WHAT?!

AGAIN?!

I... I SWEAR TO GOD IF EPSILON DIES, I MAY--PROBABLY WILL--RIOT

Okay, so now that we're done with the trailer. Time for the actual season

fucking hell, Felix.

hmmm

hey wait a fucking moment. That... that's a full name that we got on your introduction, Price. That's... that's both new and an instant sign that I shouldn't trust you for even a second.

...

what.

what.

Your voice... yeah, I recognize it. You're the Counselor, aren't you?

Yep.

You know what's weird? I'm pretty sure that I know most of his info already, just from watching the prior seasons.

...huh?

who's this other prisoner?

...I have no clue who you are.

but... yeah, no clue.

Oh, hey!

Aaaaand we're now officially back to Chorus!

I assume it's for the same reason none of you guys have been shot yet.

By which I mean, who fucking knows

lmfao

That was a very good breather episode after episode one

and I fucking love it.

Wait... the bubble shield? Really?

yep

that's a bubble shield.

Wait, what? That floating tower thing is an alien temple?

omg

I... I mean, fair enough.

The universe is fucking weird.

WAIT WHAT

HOW THE HELL

ohhhhhhhhh

pfffffffft

Emily? What did you discover?

I mean... yeah, it does. Go... do plot shit, Blue Team. See you guys later.

lmfao

...This base reminds me of somewhere. Can't quite say where but...

It seems familiar.

I have never heard Emily sound so serious before

aaand there it goes.

Anya-Today at 12:01 PM

roflmao

...Yep. No shitting, is this base familiar.

WAIT

OH

MY

GOD

THE TOWER RESPONDED TO THE SWORD

...IS THE SWORD GOING TO BE A KEY AGAIN?!

AHAHAHAHAHA

YES

IT IS

AAAAAH!

OH

W-WAS THAT A FALSE ALARM OR?!

WHAT THE FUCK

oh fuCK

what the fuck

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE SHIT WAS THAT

So... what you're saying is... Tucker accidentally got involved in some alien shit and has to go on a quest of some sort because of it.

Gee, I wonder where I've heard that before.

ya know... might as well watch this PSA. Maybe they'll call out on the show for blatantly using shit from a previous season

...on second thought... nah. I have valuable time

NO

NO

I DON'T WANT TO SEE THESE FUCKS AND... OHHHHH

SHARKFACE?

NOW?!

HUH

Well, some good came out of what happened last episode. Our enemies are down their fancy fucking technology, so the weapons used are on a mostly even playing field.

shit

shit shit shit

Hey. Hey, wait a minute

is that a motherfucking rwby reference right there?

holy mcshit, it is

eh

cool

...holy fuck

FILSS?

Wow, of all the...

wow

WHAT

WHAT THE FUCK

THAT... THAT'S THE META'S ARMOR, ALL RIGHT

AN D FUCK

THERE'S HIS THEME IN THE BACKGROUND, RIGHT NOW

JESUS FUCK

...oh

fuck

they beat us there.

Wow, I like Sharkface.

holy shit

holy shit

Ohhh hey, there you guys are!

...Wash, buddy, I feel like you're about to go into a speech here. Do you seriously think our chances of living through this are that slim?

Anya-Today at 1:01 PM

That's true. The sword thing, I mean. You have to take a few levels of character development to be an unstoppable badass.

wow

I don't think you were even in there a second, Tucker!

Good luck, Carolina...

TEX?!

wait... no, this is some sort of portal fuckery...

BUT ALSO HOLY FUCK, TEX!

ohh

oh god

They were all there.

All of them. If only for a second...

"On break: Will return in FUCK YOU"

beautiful

wait a minute

Oh come on.

Oh come on.

Oh. Come. On.

what

the fuck

is this bullshit

what the fuck

long sigh of giving up in the background from me.

I give up.

I officially give up what hope for mental sanity I had regained the past few seasons. Because... fuck it.

and back to bingeing after watching some of season one with my family

also thinking about how much shit changes... just, in general. wow.

Hey, um, Santa... if all that alien tech was so important.. why the fuck was a sword left out in the middle of goddamn nowhere where any old idiot could stumble upon it and claim it as their own?

I mean, not saying that that didn't turn out in this case butttt

why?

Anya-Today at 2:40 PM

Okayyy

I think I've procrastinated long enough

back to watching

what the fuck

THERE'S MORE THAN ONE "DEFINITELY NOT A KEYBLADE"?!

...Okay, there may be too many temples.

I mean...

one for interior decorating?!

wait a minute...

we need to get to the communication one. ASAP.

jesus fucking christ

That purge thing... thank fuck Tucker is the only one with a "not-keyblade* right now.

OH FUCK

WOOHOO, ENERGY SHIELD!

...oh no,

oh no

I was going to hope for them to be alright but... they don't need it.

...wha?

ohhhh fuck.

fuck

fucking hell

oh fuck

Anya-Today at 3:16 PM

Episode 10 and things... are gonna get worrying. I have a feeling things'll get bad.

...were you going to say something, @Damntastic Despair?(edited)

Damntastic Despair-Today at 3:16 PM

no, accidentially tapped the keyboard as I was sitting down

Anya-Today at 3:16 PM

aaah

rip

that was awesome

...oh no.

I have a bad, bad feeling about all this.

Oh god no.

...WHAT?!

DOYLE GOT THE OTHER SWORD?!

OKAY SURE

AT LEAST IT ISN'T FELIX

.....DOC?!

OH MY GOD

HOW THE FUCK

WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!

y'all are assholes.

Doc... you alri---what the fuck

I

NO

O'MALLEY?!

NONONONO

FUCK THAT SHIT

I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH HIM IN THE CHRONICLES

...I just

why

oh shit

Aahaha! Wooo!

OH MY GOD, IT WAS SLOMO FOR A SECOND!

Oh great, we're going to get tailed by Locus. Wash, did you really have to?

Sooooo... I'm just going to accept Doc as having O'Malley as an actual split personality now. I'll just... accept that.

And... I agree with Emily. They are, indeed, one of the most fascinating groups of individuals I'll ever have the pleasure of meeting.

you guys are the other group(edited)

oh fuck

OH YEAH!

oh no

oh no

CAROLINA

oh god no

nononono

...they'll be fine, right?

T...they have to be, both of them.

friendly reminder that... well, I don't think people remember the whole... can't use it unless you were the first person to activate it thing when it comes to the swords.

ohhhh

oh that's bad.

that's... we're fucked.

Oh, hey, thank fuck. Of course you remember the rules of the sword and its pickiness about who uses it.

Anya-Today at 4:00 PM

OH THANK GOD, EPSILON AND CAROLINA ARE BOTH ALRIGHT!

No. The mercenaries do not. They won't if we keep Doyle from dying, or, if Doyle does die, we get the sword to someone we can trust with it first.

KIMBALL, SHUT.

JUST... JUST SHUT.

THAT SITUATION WENT ONE OF THE BETTER WAYS IT COULD FOR US.

THE MERCENARIES HAVE A SWORD THAT DOESN'T WORK. THEY DON'T KNOW IT DOESN'T WORK. AND WE PREVENTED FURTHER LOSS OF LIVE DURING THAT BATTLE.

WE DID WHAT WE COULD.

SO. JUST. SHUT. FOR. NOW.

well... shit.

...when did this become a sitcom?

you know... I am this close to, after the war is over, shoving some of the Feds and Rebels in a box canyon in the middle of nowhere so that maybe, maybe, they'll learn to get along with the only other fucking people in the neighborhood. It's worked before!

...oh.

Oh god.

Carolina, you saw them all... oh.

Oh look, seems Felix doesn't like how Energy Swords work.

big shocker.

best bubbles-Today at 4:23 PM

Heh

Shocker

Energy sword

I get it

Anya-Today at 4:23 PM

um

That wasn't meant to be a pun.

And... if it was going to have any validity to it as a pun, it'd be more than just a random energy sword.

It'd be an energy sword/key that shoots lightning.

Why?

Because rule of fucking cool.

...oh shit.

oh, this is going to be a trainwreck.

...oh. oh wow.

i was... not expecting that.

that's like... digging up and breaking some probably very old emotional scars.

oof.

Woo, actual, once and for all confirmation that the Meta is fucking dead.

okay, I don't see either of the generals, so I'm just going to assume that the counseling sessions has become one for the Blood Gulch Crew alone.

oh, wait, no, they're still here.

ohhh boyyy

here we go.

again.

What?

oh no.

We're under attack!

OH FUCK

..what?

Go on.

We're evacuating Armonia. I can see the logic behind that, actually.

Ohhhhh

Ahahahahahaha!

...what?

Doyle... what are you doing?

Oh.

Oh god.

Anya-Today at 5:00 PM

THANK GOD FOR PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION INDEED!

Damntastic Despair-Today at 5:00 PM

Oh man, you're on the city attack

that's fun

Anya-Today at 5:01 PM

oh shit

ha!

oh... shit.

oh...

oh no

NO

OH GOD

OH GOD OH FUCK

ahahahaah

OH THANK FUCK

EVERYONE'S ALRIGHT!

...well, almost everyone

...We're back at Crash Site Bravo.

fuck...

no

no

FUCK

HE HAS THE SWORD

FUCKING HELL

fuckkkkkk

oh, that's... actually good to know, because if we got a bunch of people both off the planet and in the temple... while we got Felix, Locus, and the chairman outside...

Um... so what is our plan? I know you guys are keeping it vague, and that's cool and all but

I wanna know

oh god, this speech is screwed.

That... that was a good speech, alright. A damn good speech.

So, now it's time.

Let's go.

And I see we're starting by re-activating that alien technology.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

OH MY GOD!

WOOOOHOOOOOOOO

IS THAT AN ALIEN TANK?!

WASH!

CAROLINA

SHIT

SHITSHITSHIIIIIIIT

phew

hahahahaha!

oh my god! That's awesome!

Oh great. Felix and Locus lived.

I'd like to call bullshit.

On to Episode 19!

Oh... hey! I just realized something!

Episodes 18 and 19 of Season 13 are references to Season 3!

Well, the names of the episodes, at least

Ohhhh shit.

WE GOT MORE COMPANY!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck

Yeah, we want to get on transmitting that fucking message, all right!

Anya-Today at 6:00 PM

...huh. who knew

...Huh?

...Whaaaat?

Hahahaha.

Oh. My. God.

Is he dead?

WHAT

Okay, yeah, Felix is dead and... oh shit.

Locus has the other sword now.

Ha. Thanks, asshole.

Yeah. I think I've seen enough mercenaries for the next... millennia.

And the message is being sent!

...Blood Gulch?!

Home?

Sister?! Holy shit!

Damntastic Despair-Today at 6:10 PM

Sister, the girl we haven't seen for... 7 seasons now?

Anya-Today at 6:10 PM

Yeah.

I almost forgot she exists.

Damntastic Despair-Today at 6:11 PM

I never forgot

Anya-Today at 6:12 PM

We've done it. We won.

HOLY CRAP, A SHIP ALREADY?!

...oh. fuck. me.

Damntastic Despair-Today at 6:13 PM

Hargrove's not taking his loss lying down

Anya-Today at 6:15 PM

Clearly not.

This is going to... I don't know how it's going to go, actually.

...One final push, huh? Let's give it all we've got.

I agree with Grif. This is fucking bullshit.

WE HAVE AN AIRSHIP!

WOO

Thank you so much, FILSS.

SHIT

Thanks, O'Malley!

...Is that... Tex's helmet?

Oh god.

Wha?

AHAHAHAHA

GRIF HAS THE KNIFLE BACK!

...Huh?

Why are we bringing out Maine's old armor? Sure, it has all the enhancements, but what are we going to use those for?

Ohhhhhhhhhhh

Ahahahahaha!

WHAHAHAHA!

Oh... I love you all too.

...what?

Epsilon... Church? What are you about to do?

NO@

NO, EPSILON, YOU CAN'T

PLEASE

NO

Wanderer of the Shade-Today at 6:28 PM

hugs Anya

Damntastic Despair-Today at 6:28 PM

hugs

Anya-Today at 6:28 PM

p-please

Damntastic Despair-Today at 6:28 PM

You've hit the most powerful and tragic scene in RvB

Anya-Today at 6:28 PM

whatever you're doing

stop

I'm begging you

best bubbles-Today at 6:29 PM

hugs ;;

Anya-Today at 6:29 PM

NO

OH GOD NO

EPSILON

NO

Damntastic Despair-Today at 6:30 PM

"In the end, they just have to have faith. Ain't that a bitch?"

While I think Season 10 as a whole is better to Season 13, The End is my favourite RvB episode and the one that hits me in the gut every single time I rewatch it

Wanderer of the Shade-Today at 6:32 PM

Church.. ;~;

Anya-Today at 6:33 PM

I mean... knowing there's a 15th season, I know they make it out alright... maybe. But... oh god. If I didn't know that... I'd be worried that they all die there.

Guys...

oh god.

Epsilon, you fucking stupid piece of shit, how dare you leave them.

WHY?!

Damntastic Despair-Today at 6:33 PM

Faith

Wanderer of the Shade-Today at 6:34 PM

internal screeching of pain

Anya-Today at 6:35 PM

oh god

Damntastic Despair-Today at 6:36 PM

Season 14 mostly cuts back on these big emotional moments

15 as well, though it's far less comedy focused than 14

Anya-Today at 6:36 PM

It's an anthology, right? Season 14, I mean.

best bubbles-Today at 6:36 PM

Mhmm

Anya-Today at 6:36 PM

I dunno what the fuck is happening with Season 15.

best bubbles-Today at 6:37 PM

Season 14 provides both its own mini stories, backstories, side stories and fun stuff

Like a rap battle and a death battle : P

Wanderer of the Shade-Today at 6:37 PM

I started 15...

Anya-Today at 6:37 PM

backstories, did you say?

Wanderer of the Shade-Today at 6:37 PM

I've got a bad feeling about 15

Anya-Today at 6:39 PM

...I still can't believe it.

Wow.

He... he can't be... Epsilon's gone.

He's gone

no

ugh

Wanderer of the Shade-Today at 6:46 PM

hugs

Anya-Today at 6:47 PM

hugs back

I feel this weird... emptiness, almost.

I'm expecting the tears to come but... they're failing me.

 2/16/18

Anya-Today at 10:49 AM

okay so

Time to begin the season that I'm honestly looking forward to the most! It should be a nice sort of breather episode after... after all that happened.

It occurs to me this is the longest season yet, at 24 episodes.

...Hmmmm, the intro clip... that was great!

We returned to HCE graphics and... well, I'm sorry, I just.

It was great.

This Anthology Season... it's going to be wonderful

Um... Dammit, Grif!

Anya-Today at 11:01 AM

LMAO

So... what I just watched was one of the various times Epsilon was going through a memory version of Blood Gulch! That... that makes sense! Somehow!

oh of course it ends on a shot of the storage unit because fuck me

...Whuh?

VIC?!

Okay, this is interesting all right.

Okay, sure!

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!

CAROLINA?!

...NORTH?!

WYOMING?!

SOUTH?!

YORK?!

479ER?!

WASH!

OH SHIT, WE'RE BEING FOLLOWED... AND THE EPISODE'S ALMOST OVER... FUCK

This Season is going to be fucking awesome

Soooo

Vic's going to be our narrator now! That's cool!

So now we're going to see why they were all there, I take it?

I'm up for that!

OH GOD, SOMEONE WHO ISN'T A FREELANCER WHO CAN SHOOT!

SHIT

Sooo... the guy I've never heard of before is called Hammer. I don't think he has much of a chance to live through this.

I!

I'm pretty sure the reason your CO put you guys on this mission is because... he's pretty sure it's like a suicide mission.

That may be my cynical pessimist of a view. But I stand by it.

Annnnnd

Hammer's gonna die.

SON OF A BITCH!

pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ahahaha

They're gonna get transferred to Blood Gulch~

...huh?

WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE

FLOWERS?!

WHAT THE FUCK

...Hmmm.

oh my god

his name actually is Sarge!

I know, Flowers. But... oh. I think I see what you're doing here. You need to make sure that the least likely harm will come to Alpha. What better way to ensure that than placing him in the middle of a box canyon in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of idiots unlikely to actually get any fighting done?

I'm not even sure if I'm being sarcastic or not.

So now we're looking for people to join the Blue Team stationed at Blood Gulch... where the fuck is Tucker? He'll show up, I know he will.

There he is!

Yep.

So, for our candidates to join Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha, we have Candidate One, who is actually competent seeming, Candidate Two, who seems a little too airheaded and conceited, and Candidate Three... fuck it. Candidate Three it is!

...oh my god.

wtf

Welp.

That's one way.

I know, Lemons. I know. At least we're sending the crazies out to a place in the middle of no-where where they'll have no impact on anything.

Ever.

At all.

Totally won't be badasses.

Definitely won't kill a couple of Freelancers and stop a fucking civil war.

Nope!

Jesus fuck, Flowers!

WTF

So... we almost have everyone that was there in the first episode. We just need Church.

Look at this!: "Captain Flowers finds the last piece to his little operation and moves it to a a quiet little box canyon in the middle of nowhere. I think everything is going to work out just fine."

Even the description is aware that nothing horribly off-plan will happen at Blood Gulch! At all! Ever!

okay, I'm done being sarcastic now.

This is going to blow up gloriously.

Hmm?

...what?

Private Jimmy?

The guy who got beat up with his own skull?

...what?!

WHAT?!

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

they... they fucking implanted Church into Private Jimmy's skull. They overwrit a guy's entire brain just so the Alpha AI could be hid!(edited)

JESUS FUCK

...what the fuck

insert the mcfucking aspirin dose, we need to start making the plan fail, dammit

Well, I know how it'll effect the relationship. The body will end up dead, and the AI will believe he's a ghost.

And it's begun.

pfffffffffffffffffffffft

..

...

...Church?

CHURCH!

I... I just need to say this: Never have I been so amused yet so saddened by seeing the pieces line up.

Anya-Today at 12:00 PM

OH HEY!

pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

pffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

just wait a little while, Tucker.

You'll get a unique armor color soon enough.

omg

They're talking about the Vegas Quadrant!

aaaaaaaaa

d-did I accidentally start watching the bizarro universe episode?

because... nope!

Not right! This isn't right!

...?

OH COME ON

"Maybe up to 14 seasons, if we're lucky."

OH COME ON

suuuuuure

...wait. Flowers does die, but I seriously doubt that any Freelancers have ever been sent to Blood Gulch.

unless the Freelancer is codenamed Texas but eh

He tripped over a cord.

....what?!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Him tripping caused the computer records to get scrambled... and, well, we all know the story from here.

And to hammer it in, we get Blood Gulch Blues playing at the end of the episode.

Aaaand just in case we were taking all this too seriously, there is no way I'm not going to bust out laughing at the mere description of episode 5

Yes, I have heard of the multiverse theory, and I honestly believe in it.

oh fuck, don't make me doubt my own reality like that! I don't want to be a figment of some kid's imagination!

oh my god

I can

I can't take this episode seriously

even for a second!

lmfao

...what?

what is that?!

jesus fuck

That... that is a messed up kid.

uhh

uhhhhhhh

jesus fUCK

OH GOD

...also, how does a kid get hydrochloric acid?!

OH GOD

Also... I just... Grif's reaction. "Meh, I'm sure he'll show up again in three years."

I mean.

In canon, that's about what happened, yeah.

omg

...you done yet, Simmons?

woo!

SHIT, CAT

...I... I don't think the cat cares.

oh shit

oh shit

ROOMBA!

Thank you, Jen Brown!

HOLY SHIT, GUYS!

what

Hi, Donut!

oh fuck

oh fuck

oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

OH THANK FUCK

WAIT A MINUTE

THE KID'S NAME IS MALCOLM HARGROVE?!

awww

OH SHIT

SON OF A BITCH!

Okay but. Is alternate universe Malcolm's brother the Director? Why does he have lego versions of the BGC? Is Allison like, the cute girl next door for them or something?(edited)

These are legitimate questions.

Anya-Today at 1:01 PM

On to the next episode!

Yeah, you're right. There are still a bunch of Reds and Blues--all over the universe!

...And it's not surprising that it turns out they're all idiots.

...Wait a minute. We've been here before. I think...

omg

these guys are idiots! I think we're going to get along juust fine.

Unit FH57... got it.

...huh?

What's the alarm going off for?

OH COME ON

EVERYTHING JUST COMES BACK TO THE FUCKING CANYON, DOESN'T IT?!

lmfao

IT'S THE FIRST EPISODE!

sooooo... the chances of Unit FH57 living just dropped, sad to say.

I mean, it's kind of obvious now that they seem like they want to get involved with the plot.

And I don't remember them showing up... ever.

filled with the glorious number of two blue armored space marines.

Neither of whom have taken a level in badass yet.

If y'all weren't doomed by canon, I'd like your chances.

...and then they just stay there, watching the Blood Gulch Chronicles as it happens?

Please?

pretty please?

...what the?

what?

Oh great. They're in Blood Gulch. You three better not fuck this shit up, I STG

You. Will. Not.

The Blues in this canyon are protected by plot armor and the fact that they're around for Season 13.

13.

For that matter, so are the Reds in this canyon.

...hey, Unit FH57... you mind fucking off and doing... anything else?

Please?

...Drag, you might want to start running.

no.

Don't kidnap Sheila. Don't.

...what

...what

...CABOOSE?!

OH MY GOD

ahahahahahahaha

OH MY GOD

IT'S SET LIKE... JUST AFTER CHURCH GETS SHOT

OH MY GOD

...Yeah, the graphics for the FH57 group look so different compared to the Blood Gulch Crew right now.

OH THANK GOD

Awwwwww

That was sweet!

wait what

Oh fucking

SON OF A BITCH

WOO, A PSA!

Wait a fucking minute... live action?!

OH MY GOD

omg

It was a trailer for an in-universe movie! Maybe... who knows?

Something tells me that the next three episodes are gonna get... serious.

Anya-Today at 2:02 PM

oh

oh, it's Felix and Locus.

HOLY SHIT, THIS IS WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE UNDER THE HELMETS!

DO YOU KNOW HOW RARE IT IS TO GET THAT QUESTION ANSWERED?

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD, LOCUS'S NAME IS SAM?!

HOLY SHIT

SON OF A BITCH

oh my god

oh my god

WOW

Huh?

Siris? Who the fuck are you and why do I feel like you're doomed?

Oh yeah, this is why I like Felix!

...huh?

oh fuck

yeah, okay, just personal opinion here but... can we kill this Ruben guy?

oh my god

Wow, Locus. Just... wow.

I am amazed at how skinny Felix is. I mean... wow. That is a lean motherfucker right there.

ha. of course the sun comes up.

that's cliche.

Oh my god, Felix and I agreed on something!

Anya-Today at 3:01 PM

Well, there's limos now for you guys! There's always a bright side!

oh fuck, I think I may actually like Felix a little bit now.

On to the next episode!

Hmmmm, I'm interested in seeing this propaganda.

omg

Project Freelancer sucks at propaganda.

fucking up lives? wonderful at that. Propaganda? bitch this is some of the worst I've seen.

Oh come on. We couldn't have done the Propo shit anywhere else?

Why are we involving Blood Gulch into this?

sigh

Oh hey... this takes place just before they're all transferred, then.

Oh, hey. That's nice, actually. It seems like they had got some type of getting along with each other after the chronicles finished up. That's... That's really nice to know.

yeah.

oh my god

pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

...how the fuck did you get all of that footage?!

I have no idea what I just watched.

TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!

Oh my god. All three of those questions seem like something people at PF would ask. and probably did ask

Oh, hey! I've seen a few Death Battles before... does this mean that our normal announcers are being replaced by Grif and Simmons?

Because that's cool, I like that.

Heyo, Caboose!

wait what

Oh, heyyy, there's the death battle guys!

Ohhhhh, this is going to be cool!

THAT WAS AWESOME

Episode 14 and... Time for yet another set of idiot soldiers!

ohhhh

they're all colorblind to a degree, aren't they?

Yep.

well fuck, they all died.

and for no goddamn reason!

Okay, I'm a little over halfway into the season, I think it's about time I stop watching this and start working on my own AU some more.

 2/17/18

Anya-Today at 2:49 PM

so

I believe I have 10 more episodes to watch now in Season 14. Let's go!

No, wait, 9 to go, actually!

what

Uhhh. What?

best bubbles-Today at 2:50 PM

Which one you on now?

Anya-Today at 2:50 PM

15

episode 15

and... huh. okay then.

best bubbles-Today at 2:51 PM

Caboose's guide to making friends?(edited)

Anya-Today at 2:51 PM

yes

best bubbles-Today at 2:51 PM

Good ^^

Anya-Today at 2:54 PM

whuh

I... I was not expecting the sudden feels

i was not expecting the feels from the last 30 seconds.

wtf, rooster teeth?

that wasn't quite okay

time for episode 16!

"lord satan von killsalot"

OH MY GOD!

WE GET TO SEE WHAT O'MALLEY WAS GOING THROUGH WHEN HE WAS POSSESSING EACH OF THE BGC!

WOOHOO!

Anya-Today at 3:00 PM

It seems like they're reusing some footage for the parts where we aren't focusing on O'Malley. I like that.

"pop goes the omnicidal AI"

omg

pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

good to see O'Malley likes being in Caboose's head just as much as I do. Because... why?

best bubbles-Today at 3:06 PM

"Hello. I am agent washingtub."

idk why, but that's always hilarious to me : P

Anya-Today at 3:06 PM

somewhere in the background, there's a weird mix of crying and laughter

i mean

it is kind of funny

oh dear god

lmfao

pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

and now it's time for Church's head. This should be interesting, seeing as... well, you know.

best bubbles-Today at 3:10 PM

It's interesting going back and seeing the past events with the knowledge that Church is the Alpha AI

Anya-Today at 3:11 PM

yeah, it is. especially watching the first few seasons, knowing all the twists about Church that would come later. It... it's an experience, all right.

best bubbles-Today at 3:12 PM

And the knowledge that his original flesh container was Jimmy

Anya-Today at 3:12 PM

Mmmhmm.

And the episode finishes off with an "Oh fuck."

I have never seen a more accurate description of what it feels like watching the episode from an audience point of view the first time around. you know, the viewpoint where all we see is the guys being possessed in succession and what results from that?

The next one is called "Get Bent"... and I have a weird feeling about this one.

the casual-ness with which Vic spoils major plot points amazes me. I love it.

best bubbles-Today at 3:18 PM

I find it really funny that Church, Vic, and Lopez are all voiced by Burnie

Anya-Today at 3:18 PM

wait what

best bubbles-Today at 3:18 PM

Yep

Anya-Today at 3:18 PM

huh.

Who knew.

And... well, I'm mildly curious what Vic means by "can't remember everything right".

let's go

...oh no

oh no

LMFAO

Epsilon... how do you misremember the genders of the entire red team?!

oh dear god in heaven why

no

whyyy

epsilon... you done fucked up with this iteration.

this is... this is so fucking wrong

I just

wrong

I need bleach too.

OH MY GOD

I TAKE IT BACK, THIS MAY ACTUALLY BE KINDA COOL

oh god no

never mind.

this is, indeed, sick and wrong.

best bubbles-Today at 3:26 PM

it's wrick and song

Anya-Today at 3:28 PM

...what was that?!

oh come on

REALLY, EPSILON?! REALLY?!

...okay, so Church is officially a bisexual AI. Nothing anyone says will change my mind on that.

okay, let's try that again.

...huh?

best bubbles-Today at 3:29 PM

A-bi

Anya-Today at 3:29 PM

pffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

OH NO

EPSILON, SERIOUSLY?!

SERIOUSLY?!

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU REMEMBER YOURSELF AS A GIRL THIS TIME?!

OH MY GOD

well

that was a thing

a mildly traumatizing thing, but still a thing.

On to episode 18!

...tejano folk fusion, you say?

I don't suppose you mean something like the warthog theme song for this very show?

Okay, a musical episode... this should be interesting!

i can't watch this

i got

i don't think i even got 15 seconds into the actual video without laughing

no

I can't watch this

i

omg

oh thank god, someone actually talking!

...and there went my hope.

oh, wait, no, it's back!

...it's not the Warthog.

why?

is it even worth it? It's just a rocket launcher!

It can't even play bad mexican polka music!

whut

okay, my hopes are dying again

holy shit, i started singing along!

Tucker... you will never get the sniper rifle for more than a minute.

oh great, Church's singing a ballad now.

And, please, don't say die when referring to yourself. It gives me ptsd.

...please. stop bringing up the fact versions of you keep dying.

Because Command hates you all. and technically, Church is running this army. kinda.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnope

I refuse.

i resent this.

i resent this with every fiber of my being.

the fuck am i watching?!

...wha?!

WHAT?!

that is not how any of the Blood Gulch Chronicles went, Donut.

No, Doyle, we were completely song and dance numberless. Thank god.

that was... that was mildly scarring yet also funny at the same time.

like the first five seasons, when i think about it...

time for episode 19!

it was a transitionary period, is what you're getting at, right?

Anya-Today at 4:00 PM

Yeah.

The episode description: "Everyone talks about the great adventures of the Reds and Blues, but have you ever stopped to think about what they did in their down time? It's really... really stupid."

I am even more excited now.

Oh my god. They started having movie nights?!

omg

oh god

only one movie? In the entire fucking canyon?!

JESUS FUCK, THAT'S TORTURE

ohhhh no.

welp. we lost our only real source of entertainment, folks, i hope we're happy with ourselves today.

i am laughing my ass off

Grif just gives no fucking shits. Church is at least trying!

oh my god.

that. was. terrible!

I could see a documentary on Blood Gulch working! Of course, you'd need to go into backstory on why the two sides of a war are getting along so well, and why Church talks about him having died and become a ghost, but I think I could see it!

in fact, i've fucking watched it! It's called Red Vs Blue!

wtf

i feel insulted!

very insulted!(edited)

NOW IT'S TIME FOR A RAP BATTLE!

WOOOOHOOO!

Hey, I think w--yeah, we've run the arc words into the ground.

Yeah, honestly I think that is the question plaguing all the RvB fans: Red Team or Blue Team?

I'm still Red Team for life

omg

"Why did we let Achievement Hunter write this stuff?"

HERE WE GO

WAIT, WHAT?!

FELIX, LOCUS?!

WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?!

best bubbles-Today at 4:31 PM

Chiming in on the rhyme

Anya-Today at 4:31 PM

I have no mcfucking idea who won that one.

best bubbles-Today at 4:31 PM

"When you can count your IQ on a single hand"

That is a serious burn

Anya-Today at 4:32 PM

Also, a lot of the insults on all sides had some points to them.

Hence, why it's hard for me to choose.

...is it okay if I skip over a few episodes? Because I want to get to RvB vs Rooster Teeth.

imma take the silence as a yes!

or should I not?

Damntastic Despair-Today at 4:36 PM

There’s no order to 14, except with two story arcs

So skip around if you want

Anya-Today at 4:36 PM

wooo!

Aaand we're back to talking about multiverse theory, huh? Hmm, this is interesting.

A theory about a universe where all the shit the Blood Gulch Crew has been through is just a cartoon? I can see it.

no, really. I'm in that fucking universe. I can actually see it.

Saaaaarge... can you please not build a plot device?

Something's wrong with this teleporter... we might want to start running!

oh.

Hi Caboose!

wait what

oh, hey, suddenly live-action!

I think Geoff is drunk.

Very drunk.

burnie, i'm not even sure where you were taking that analogy any more.

3 dozen pivotal new characters for the next story arc?

oh fuck me.

The Machinima death switch...

oh boy.

and back to the BGC!

OH GOD

THIS IS GONNA SUCK

the death switch is hit, I take it... but hey, Tucker's going to be in this episode too! Cool!

well, apparently. Maybe not...

OH SHIT, THE XBOX!

wh-

what the fuck?!

ahahahahahaha!

AHAHAHAHAHA!

OH'

MY

GOD

...I BLAME BURNIE AND GEOFF!

And the rooster teeth employees have my response to this scenario: running and screaming.

Like any sane person.

this is ridiculous and I love it.

best bubbles-Today at 4:58 PM

You know what's really amazing that I didn't even realize at first?

Those aren't guys in suits

That's all CG

Anya-Today at 4:59 PM

...Yeah, that seems about right. No way the armor would so shiny otherwise.

Anya-Today at 5:06 PM

And Geoff's reaction to seeing the guy he voices in real life is also incredibly realistic.

no. Gus... just turn around.

well, that could've gone better.

awww. I have to stop for now.

pfffffffffffffffffffft

And behind Burnie is Simmons and Grif--I mean, Gus and Geoff, freaking the fuck out.

Burnie is taking Lopez showing up quite well, actually.

Oh, wait, no, there's Simmons and Grif.

ohhh... sorry, Burnie.

TUCKER!

YOU DID SHOW UP IN THIS EPISODE AFTER ALL!

Wait, Barb appears in this?

oh my god!

pfffffffffffffffffffffffft

That was beautiful!

Oh, hey there, Vic.

...I think I found my favorite speech in the show.

I love that episode.

...now I have to wonder if anyone's made a fanfic or something about Tucker working at RT?

I mean. Just saying.

 2/24/18

Anya-Today at 1:54 PM

Okay so. Time to get a start on Season 15.

I've been putting this off long enough, let's go.

Let's start with the trailer and already I'm disappointed in them.

...that was awesome.

...blood gulch?

Home?

What?

Time for episode one and fuck. my dog is barking because of fuck knows what

ugh.

...............

.......................what.

Anya-Today at 2:00 PM

WHAT?!

WHAT THE FUCK

wait... These guys aren't the Blood Gulch Crew.

I just... There'd be no reason for "Church" to take off his helmet, a robot probably can't detach their own head on purpose.

Even with all the levels in badass they've taken by now, they'd still be snarking.

And we're missing a couple of people.

The signs are all fucking there.

best bubbles-Today at 2:02 PM

This is not right

So therefor

It is left

Anya-Today at 2:02 PM

...

Excuse me, I

best bubbles-Today at 2:03 PM

I just woke up ^^;

Anya-Today at 2:03 PM

I'm trying to be rational here. Also, good morning.

...This Dylan person. I think like her.

Oh my god, these acronyms and her quicktalking skills. Lady, can you make me fall for you any faster?

...RTAA? Okay, that's a reference to Rooster Teeth Animated Adventures.

Oh shit. I hope she's good at not dying.

Clearly, she either is, or she has good friends.

No. I want my shit about the Blood Gulch Crew. The monster-fighting teens can suck it.

..oh my god.

We're going home.

Blood Gulch.

Episode 2 time.

Jax, huh? You hummed the episode intro theme for Blood Gulch and called it part of a soundtrack for the canyon? I already love you.(edited)

Oh god. He's an intern. Welp, he's gonna get traumatized at some point, sorry kiddo!

best bubbles-Today at 2:15 PM

Poor interns never come out unscathed

Anya-Today at 2:17 PM

Wha-heh? I know the angle that's coming, we're panning up to the top of one of the bases, I stg if

Oh thank god.

...you know... if you really want to know... I could forward you the web show, Dylan.

Like, I've been watching it.

SISTER?!

Kaikaina? That's your first name? Huh. Okay.

best bubbles-Today at 2:20 PM

Yep

Grif's family is hawaiian

Anya-Today at 2:20 PM

Huh. Who knew.

best bubbles-Today at 2:21 PM

What's funny though

Kaikaina means "younger sibling of the same gender"

Anya-Today at 2:22 PM

...huh. who knew.

best bubbles-Today at 2:22 PM

Learning a lot this season : P

Anya-Today at 2:23 PM

I agree with Sister here. I think. There's something up here.

Heyo there, Vic!

omg. Vic's been editing the footage he has into a version of the Chronicles.

Enjoy watching the Blood Gulch Chronicles, you two.

wait what

why the fuck is there ominous music

...who the fuck are you.

...it doesn't end on the usual subscribe to the channel plea.

instead we get the blood gulch blues.

Episode 3 and... where are we now?

Well, the AI fragments part is entirely legitimate, I can tell you that much. We learned about those after the haze dream that was the Chronicles.

oh my god

the mother of invention

real names? for all the freelancers?

what the fuck is Wash's last name, tell me, lady, I need to know!

best bubbles-Today at 2:34 PM

What if that is his name?

David Washington?

Anya-Today at 2:35 PM

Then I'd be amazed at the laziness that Project Freelancer had.

best bubbles-Today at 2:36 PM

They were too cheap to get a bunch of real AIs and they thought torturing one to get more was the next logical option

Anya-Today at 2:36 PM

...true.

best bubbles-Today at 2:36 PM

And they acquiesced to Carolina's demand for two AIs(edited)

Anya-Today at 2:37 PM

...yeah.

best bubbles-Today at 2:37 PM

And they didn't even tell the Freelancers what their mission really was

This group is not exactly known for its smart decisions

Anya-Today at 2:37 PM

I know.

best bubbles-Today at 2:38 PM

Oh, and let us not forget blowing up Florida to keep one of their agents under cover : P

Anya-Today at 2:38 PM

Never forget Florida. I just... I feel like that giving an agent a code name that is their fucking last name crosses a line of stupidity that's just... stupidity.

best bubbles-Today at 2:39 PM

But that's why it's perfect. It's so stupid that no one would expect it

Anya-Today at 2:40 PM

sigh

heh?

Ummmmmmmmm... Jax, I think this is the time for you to... leave now. Go back, turn around.

Jax. go.

The answer is simple, Jax. YOU RUN!

GOD, HOW CAN THAT NOT GET THROUGH TO YOU?!

oh thank fuck.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JAX, JUST SAY THEY'RE HERE

Anya-Today at 3:00 PM

wait... hold up.

Gulch... prototype?

hold the fuck up here.

And time for an action scene, fitting enough.

Here's an idea. YOU RUN.

SCREW THE CAMERAS, LIVING IS IMPORTANT, MORE IMPORTANT, I MIGHT ADD

oh my god.

Jax, no.

...huh?

Thundersnow? That... that sounds like a weird weather condition, alright.

Dylan. No.

This is a stupid plan.

Do not.

And thank you for confirming my thoughts, Dylan. That is not the Blood Gulch Crew.

Huh?

best bubbles-Today at 3:06 PM

Thundersnow is really cool

Anya-Today at 3:06 PM

Oh fucknuggets, the guy we saw in the ominous closing of the previous episode.

Oh great. The edge of a cliff.

If you two die, I will not forgive you.

...huh. Thanks, weird guy. And yes, I'm curious how Dylan knows that those... people, aren't the BGC.

...screw it, mystery guy, I'm calling you unicorn head until we find out your name.

...huh? WHY THE FUCK IS ANYONE BLOCKADING CHORUS?! FUCKING HELL, UNSC

Also... there has to be some significance with the use of Blood Gulch Blues in the outros. I just... it's this gut feeling I have.

Oh my god! Smith! Bitters!

But also... oh fuck. Please, Jax, don't have died this early on. If you did die, please turn out to be an AI so we can make ghost jokes again.

Palomo! Jensen!

Thank god, Jax will be fine.

What.

Dylan. What the fuck.

Also, Kimball's the president of Chorus now, good for her!

...Messenger?

It's time to find them. Time to find the Blood Gulch Crew.

...when the fuck did this become the last few scenes of The Force Awakens?

FUCK

CABOOSE! YOU OKAY, MAN?

Oh my god! Guys!

And to no-one's surprise, Caboose is perfectly fine.

It occurs to me I haven't seen these guys so lighthearted in a while.

WASH! CAROLINA! ...Of course you're the only two who are slightly serious right now.

..the temple? Oh wait... you didn't do something with the procreation one, did you?

Please, please tell me you didn't, or so help me, guys

Oh come on.

pffffffffffft

lmfao

Damntastic Despair-Today at 3:36 PM

Of course the procreation temple was activated, Tucker was there

Anya-Today at 3:36 PM

Fair enough.

Damntastic Despair-Today at 3:37 PM

You gotta wonder though, who slept with who? Besides Grif and Simmons, of course

Anya-Today at 3:38 PM

pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

These idiots. I love them with all my heart and soul.

Damntastic Despair-Today at 3:40 PM

How could you not?

Also did you watch the remaining season 14 episodes? Specifically the freelancer ones?

Anya-Today at 3:41 PM

...shit.

I knew there was something I forgot to do.

I'll finish this episode, then go back and watch those, okay?

best bubbles-Today at 3:41 PM

Spencer Porkensenson

Best character

Damntastic Despair-Today at 3:42 PM

Shh, she’s not there yet

Anya-Today at 3:42 PM

...oh dear. Now we're getting to the... direct aftermath of what happened after... after the finale of Season 13.

Oh.

He... he's really gone, then.

DAMMIT, EPSILON!

best bubbles-Today at 3:43 PM

I can't believe he sacrificed his life to save everyone

That fucking asshole

Anya-Today at 3:43 PM

...

hey, come on, it's okay for me to have fucking feelings, okay?

I get why he did it, I just...

I wish that there was another way to win that battle.

...

what?

what?

Church? CHURCH?!

best bubbles-Today at 3:45 PM

Church is in session

Anya-Today at 3:46 PM

holy shit

I... I'm not sure whether or not I can believe it. The message... the message said that the Church asking for help was the Alpha.

I...

holy shit

I... holy shit. I need to rewatch that scene, just to be sure.

I just

holyshit

okay, so after... that, I'm going to take a quick little... break, to scream.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 3/8/18

Poppet-Today at 12:29 PM

Okay, I've been putting this off.

I'm going to watch the last three episodes I need to of S14, then try and get back to progressing S15.

Time for Episode 21.

Poppet-Today at 12:31 PM

Project Freelancer had a goal once???

Who knew.

Oh?

Who are you?

Ohio?

Huh?!

Oh, um, hello there... Iowa!

And Idaho...

Got it Memorized?-Today at 12:32 PM

silent squees

Poppet-Today at 12:32 PM

Oh shit, I like you all already.

...Really? Being genuinely good, sweet people keeps you from getting mission assignments?(edited)

...that makes sense.

Sadly.

New rankings?

Hmmm, what are they?

Oh my god, that is amazing!

AND WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE, I RECOGNIZE THAT FUCKING AREA

THAT'S THE OFFSITE STORAGE FACILITY

THE ONE WHERE TEX KICKED EVERYONE'S ASS(edited)

HOW DOES SNEEZING BLOW UP FIVE TO 6 VEHICLES?!

wait what

wait what

WASH?!

CT?!

...wait a fucking

minute

...Hi, Georgia?

HOLY SHIT, HI GEORGIA

WHO KNEW YOU WERE MORE THAN JUST A ONE-OFF JOKE?

...Well, shit, I already hate Georgia.

That took... two lines.

That is a fucking record.

...Ohio just called Wash "David".

...holy shit.

hholy shut

HOLY MCFUCK, A WILD SOUTH DAKOTA

I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE YOU HERE!

pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

CT...

You were so nice.

wait what

WHAT THE FUCK

...

YOU.

AIDEN PRICE.

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!

...I don't trust this.

What sort of mission is this, Price?

hmmmmmmmm

i really don't trust this.

OH HEY, HI THERE 479R!

Episode 22 time

WAIT WHAT

OH SHIT, THIS ICE PLANET ISN'T ABANDONED AND...

OH COME THE FUCK ON

YOU THINK I WOULDN'T NOTICE THIS?

hhhhhhhhhhholy shit

We got rejects from Charon Industry here as well as rejects from Project Freelancer.

holy shit

Poppet-Today at 1:00 PM

Dammit Iowa

Oh my god.

D... depending on when on the timeline this takes place...

this is the first fucking case of it.

The first fucking case of useless people being sent somewhere entirely out of the way

Where their only reason for being there is because someone else is there.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Wait a minute

Hey, Wash.

Oh.

Oh my god.

They didn't drop out.

Also... heh.

pfffffff

That was worth it.

And, time for Episode 23... I think I've seen this one, actually.

All it is is showing what it would take to flip a warthog in real life, plus some live-action skits at the beginning and end.

Eh, I'll watch the skits anyways.

And I'm here so... might as well watch the rest of it.

You know, sometimes I wonder how the people who voice the characters on RvB sound like their characters.

Then I hear Burnie say something and I realize it.

...holy shit.

I've finished Season 14.

Wow!

The rest of Season 15 cannot be found, since I am currently watching it semi-blind (semi because of tumblr and ao3) with my parents.

And this is the compiled version of all my pre-S16 reactions to the RvB hell-ride.  Thanks for reading, hope it was entertaining.

#red vs blue #rvb #anya reacts to rvb #long post #red versus blue

[rvb-relationship-royale]

RVB Romantic Relationship Royale- Round 3, Part 3, Poll 1

#rvb relationship royale #red vs blue #rvb #poll competition #rvb polls #agent north dakota #north rvb #agent york #york rvb #wash rvb #agent washington #norkington rvb #north/york/wash #north/york/wash rvb #leonard church #church rvb #caboose rvb #michael j caboose #tucker rvb #lavernius tucker #simmons rvb #dick simmons #grif rvb #dexter grif #donut rvb #franklin delano donut #sarge rvb #blood gulch disaster

[weatheredlaw]

kai for the character ask meme!

Why I like thembecause she is beautiful and filthy-mouthed and a survivor like she fucking lived in blood gulch all by herself and she’s a GOD DAMN entrepreneur. a fucking QUEEN.

Why I don’tliterally. no. god. damn. reason.

Favorite episode (scene if movie)”The Chronicle” in season 15. i love it.

Favorite season/moviei mean season 5 is kai’s season, so. she owns it.

Favorite line“Hey, Tex! Stop shooting you stupid bitch!”

Favorite outfit

OTPkai/tucker, kai/caboose, kai/simmons, kai/carolina

Brotpkai and tucker, kai and tex, kai and simmons, kai and carolina, kai and caboose

Head Canonkai is absolutely fucking loaded from all her burning gulch shenanigans. rich girl, make it rain.

Unpopular opinionuh idk if i have one???

A wishthat she gets to go back to earth and continue creating businesses and being AMAZING

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happendie. the answer is always please don’t die.

5 words to best describe themsmall yellow bisexual disaster child

My nickname for themqueen of my heart, bisexual disaster of my soul

#answered #series: red vs blue #hylian-reptile

[eliehasmoved]

rvb?

hjakdaslkdj oh man okay

my favorite female character: Carolina first, Kimball second. Honorable mention goes to Tex who was my favourite for a long time.

my favorite male character: LAVERNIUS TUCKER. And also Wash, oh my god. My disaster boys.

my favorite book/season/etc: FreELANCERS SEASON(S). Like, I love the blood gulch group but. The absolute shitshow disaster that was Project Freelancer is my jam.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show): I forget you??? Get fucked??? Thanks.

my favorite cast member: Probably Geoff. I love Geoff and Grif with all my heart.

my favorite ship: Ohhh man. Three way tie, yo. Tuckington, but also just fuck me up with Chex and Yorkalina. BYE.

a character I’d die defending: Any of the aforementioned favourites!!!

a character I just can’t sympathize with: Hello yes if Felix and also Locus could kindly exit the building by jumping off the fire escape, that’d be great. Though I am severely behind and heard the latter gets a redemption arc so, ehh. 

a character I grew to love: I spend a lot of time fucking hating Tex and Church, but also loving them??? Like. Ugh.

my anti otp: I… don’t actually know. I am so far removed from fandom I don’t even know what is something to not ship lmao.

Give me a fandom/show/movie and I’ll answer the above!

#gertchase #ask meme

[epsilon-church]

(ai gob) ya ok but does sister get an ai

honestly i havent thought about it enough cause shes still in blood gulch but thats a crime im so sorry sister so uh? quick list of ais shed get along with: - iota (too impulsive 911 but theyd get along great), - eta (used to dealin w iota)- gamma @ my last rb- i wanna say sigma but she already has like 50 different conventions shes running so shes good ambition wise? still she could become the convention god. and she’d keep him in check…..so that lists a disaster and i lost my train of thought but hey,

#asks #reply #im awful and dont think about sister enough. honestly smh #ai anon goblin #Anonymous #WHOOPS FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS. its in the queue now fksklfj #q #iota and eta are based on my hcs bc...no canon personality.... #and gammas on here @ the last post #POSTIN NOW FROM THE QUEUE BC. GAMMA WITH SISTER WAS MENTIONED. im thinkin emoji #gogufgh my meta about gamma is always Weak im sorry....ill get there #sister #gamma

[renaroo]

Double Time (16/24)

Disclaimer: Red vs Blue and related characters are the property of Rooster Teeth. Warnings: Language, Canon-typical violence Pairings: Tuckington, Chex Rating: T Synopsis: [Hero Time Sequel] After the events of Hero Time, the city and Blood Gulch are prepared for the true return of superheroes in a big way. But while Washington is attempting to adjust to a new relationship and a new living arrangement, the call of new heroes and a new mayor mean major changes for his professional life as well as his personal one. How will the balance of values fare when his new partners come to test everything he’s made of.

A/N: A day late! You have my apologies! It’s another plotty chapter but if you’re familiar with how Hero Time stories go you can probably predict what that means for the next couple of chapters ; ) We’re getting close, guys!! Eight chapters left!

Special thanks to @icefrozenover, @washingtonstub, @analiarvb, @thepheonixqueen, @cobaltqueen, Enmuse, Yin, @notatroll7, and @a-taller-tale on AO3 and tumblr for the wonderful feed back! I truly appreciate it more than you know.

Time to Take Charge

There were probably less dramatic ways to get into Church’s apartment, but Washington was running too short on time to act outside of his own instincts. So he went with the picking of the lock on the window and lifting it open so as to perch on the ledge as dusk settled behind him.

The usual.

By the time Church actually paused from typing at his computer, as if finally aware of another presence, Washington had thought of at least half a dozen ways any sort of villain or regular robber probably could have dismantled him. And it certainly wasn’t because they had known each other for six months and the level of aggression between being Tucker’s boyfriend and being Tucker’s best friend had only proved to mount itself higher.

Church nearly leaped out of his seat when he saw Wash, hand over his chest as his head leaned back. He was running fans loudly to apparently cool down his robotic body. “Jesus Fucking Christ,” he half-shouted. “You are, quite possibly, the worst fucking sight in the world for anyone with a remotely questionable past and maybe-not-so-great present record. Just so you’re aware.”

“Consider me aware,” Wash replied, continuing into the apartment as if acknowledgement served as invitation — which it practically did in Blood Gulch anymore.

Narrowing his eyes, Church crossed his arms and leaned back into his seat. “If you’re here to ask me for another updated superhero suit, you can fucking forget it. Tucker still owes me, like, three bar hops before the current disaster you’re wearing is paid off.”

“You consider your own work a disaster?” Wash asked casually, raising his brow.

Caught off guard, Church opened his mouth, closed it, muttered a bit. “I… that’s. No. Obviously. Just that… you. And your… like, corniness. It infects any design. And I hate it. Shut up,” he finally spat out. “What’re you here for?”

“I’m wondering if you’ve seen Tex,” Wash explained lowly.

As expected, Church pulled a full body flinch at the bare mention of his ex.

“Why? You guys having another hatefest sponsored by your animosity toward me? Again?” Church demanded angrily.

“No, of course not. That only happened once,” Wash replied casually.

“You’re such a fucking dick, I don’t know how Tucker puts up with you,” Church responded, somewhat aghast. “Like it’s amazing. Do you have any idea what a fucking saint he has to be for that?”

“I’m aware,” Wash replied flatly. “But this is about Tex. Have you seen her? I’ve only gotten texts and phone calls from her for the better part of a month and none of those have been more than… cryptic, at best.”

For a moment, Church looked at Wash puzzled. Then it just went to smug.

“Wow. Cryptic. How horrible. Would hate to be around someone who only spoke in cryptic codes all the goddamn time for the sake of being dramatic and secretive,” Church replied before turning back to his computer.

“You’re pissed that I exist and changed up whatever groove that Blood Gulch had before, I get it,” Wash replied with an aggravated sigh. “You want nothing to ever change and your misery to be the only thing that matters. But that’s just too bad, Church, because I’m around, and with a possible future mayor who is actually interested in bringing back a sense of real status quo to the city, these are things that are going to be good and they’re hopefully going to be permanent.” Knowing that the aggressive route was going to get him nowhere with Church’s legendary stubbornness, Wash reached up and pinched his brow and sighed. “Look, you and I both care about Tex not being in trouble and I’m worried about how little I’ve seen of her lately. Especially with things being… questionable with new heroes popping up, and the Reds getting more active on my orders around Blood Gulch. I just want to know she’s okay.”

“Wow, must suck to not see Tex for ages and have to worry about the worst for her. I feel so bad for you right now I could barf,” Church returned angrily.

“So you’ve not seen Tex,” Wash surmised.

“Oh, I’ve seen her plenty while you played House,” Church responded. “Who do you think I’m codebreaking for at the moment? Just the lawls? She’s been up my ass getting shit out of me for whatever nonsense she’s been playing for months now. Dunno why you’re not included. Probably for the best. She’s probably aware what a nuisance you are.”

Caught off guard, Wash neared Church. “What? You two are working together? On what—“

“I don’t know,” Church groaned before catching himself and shaking his head. “Actually, I know. I totally know because I totally asked why I was doing this instead of just… y’know, following her orders without question. But because she respected me so totally much by asking me to do this for her, I don’t have to tell you. She obviously wants to keep it to herself.”

Washington stared at Church for a moment before rushing to the back of his computer chair and attempting to lean in over his shoulder.

“Hey! What the hell! Back off!” Church cried out over dramatically, pulling against Wash to no avail.

“Just let me see what you’re working on—“ Wash said before seeing that there were multiple black windows all across the computer screen with white, green, blue, and red text in brackets that continued to fly out at speeds that nearly crossed Wash’s eyes. He leaned back and away from the screen entirely.

“What the hell’s that?” he asked, shocked.

“Codebreaking, the fuck did you think it looked like?” Church asked, taking the initiative to shove Wash further away from him though, with his strength, it did little other than causing his own chair to roll away from his station. Church then erupted into a series of frustrated, mewling noises that never quite formed words before he threw up his arms and glared at Wash. “Would you just fucking leave already?”

“No, I haven’t gotten everything I’m here for,” Wash said simply.

“Oh my god you are the worst superhero,” Church groaned, clapping his hands over his face and dragging them down dramatically. “What, Wash? What do you want from me other than my sanity? Which you are doing wonders for making me lose entirely.”

Ignoring the dramatics, Wash looked intently toward Church. “I want you — whenever you take time off from… all of this — to head over to my apartment and completely redo the security system.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Church cried out in annoyance. “I’m not a fucking handyman, Wash!”

“It’s not a favor and it’s not a request,” Wash answered.

“Your people skills are astoundingly inept,” Church continued to insult.

“It’s a safety precaution for Tucker and Junior,” Wash went on without pause. “The stuff I’ve gotten into… it’s making me nervous. Nervous enough that I’m questioning the validity of the security system as it stands now. I think that whatever’s coming is going to be worse than what I’ve prepared for, and I think there’s reason to believe that I’ve been watched and followed to the point that Tucker and Junior’s security has been jeopardized.”

Taking a moment to let the words wash over him, Church leaned back and narrowed his eyes once more. “You’re… What are you involved with?”

“I don’t know, but it could go to the top, and with as chummy as at least one of our mayoral candidates are with Felix—“

“Dude, what the fuck’s wrong with Felix?” Church scoffed. “Did he save your ass too many times? Embarrass poor widdle kitty cat?”

“He found us in a park and threatened us about six hours ago,” Wash replied critically.

“Whoa,” Church said, brows raised. “Did you deserve it?”

“Did Tucker?” Wash snapped, beginning to lose his cool.

“I mean, he did make the choice to fuck you against my better judgment so,” Church responded with a rotation of his hand.

“You might be the worst friend a person could have,” Wash reveled out loud.

“Wrong, asshole! I’m the best friend a person could have because I’m going to pull your asses out of the fire and go look over your security system and what not and then give Tucker relationship advice. Again. For ten hours. Again,” Church replied, shutting off his computer after a final line of text that was incomprehensible to Wash. “And probably suffer the wrath of my ex-girlfriend for putting off her shit… again. I’m like the most selfless motehrfucker in this entire goddamn world, and it’s about time someone around here recognized me for it.”

“You’re doing a good job of recognizing yourself,” Wash amended. “Are you heading over right now?”

“No, I’m stopping everything in my tracks for a pizza I can’t eat — of course I’m heading over there, you just said my best friend is about to get himself damseled. I’m either going to stop that shit or I’m going to enjoy watching it unfold,” Church said wryly.

“Good, tell Tucker I’ll be home late,” Wash said, heading for the window.

“Wait a second, Washington,” Church called out, drawing the hero’s attention again.

“What?”

“Mayor reestablishing a good status quo… mayoral candidate with a suspicious relationship to the guy who’s threatening you,” Church listed off his fingers. “Do you… have some kinda political angle in all of this going on, too? Hm?”

“What’s it matter?” Wash asked. “I’m calling balls and strikes and Kimball’s got questionable company and policies.”

Church’s brows raised again. “Kimball, hm? Interesting. Interesting. You know, this really is something you should talk to your boy…. Nope. Still can’t say that word for you two. Anyway, hope you talk to Tucker about it because that’ll be an amazing one. I would actually sit in the room and watch that one.”

“Tucker’s not for Kimball,” Wash said with a shake of his head.

“Ha ha ha ha ha ha,” Church called out in bland succession before heading for his door. “Oh, yeah. Definitely going to be in the room for that one.”

Wash scrutinized the robot as he made his way out but shook his head and left all the same. There was a lot to do that night, and Tucker’s annoying friends were something to deal with at a later date.

#writing #rvb fic #RvB: Hero Time #RvB: Double Time #Tuckington #Agent Washington

[abitofafatass]

Rules: Post song(s) that reminds you of your muse and then tag people whose songs you want to see. Repost, don’t reblog.

Tagged By: @ofstarkilling

He Mele no Lilo -- Lilo and Stitch Soundtrack

Not only is this the opening song from Grif’s favorite Disney movie, but it is a traditional Hawaiian song. In the same vein as He Mele no Lilo, Grif would be equally associated with Aloha O’e, a song written by the last queen of Hawaii.

The Lazy Song -- Bruno Mars

Do I even need to explain this choice here. Because it should be p obvious

Lost Boy -- Ruth B

Grif’s home life seems like a disaster, based off of the information that Sister and O’Malley give. Having parents that openly play favorites with your younger sister, and then being abandoned by his mother would make growing up extremely lonely. And Grif has probably never brought it up because he wouldnt want Sister to feel retroactively guilty about it. The Reds (and a little bit the Blues) were the first real family that Grif had. In a way, Blood Gulch was his “Neverland”

Tagging: 

#headcanon #about grif #wow i got somewhat angsty about that last one #please come talk to me about Red Family #because its super important to grif and also to me