#but he doesn't know that

[hellenhighwater]

malice looks like she's sizing up the competition for the rat killing championship

Malice has a significant mass advantage over Vice, and she's got meathooks for hands that he could only dream of. She is slow to rouse but once she gets going, she's unstoppable. Mostly because she has no traction on the hardwood.

But Vice wants, desperately, to be a Good Boy, and he'll kill whoever it takes to get the highly-sought-after "ooo, who's my pretty boy!!" award.

The rats are really really screwed, and that's without even taking the mad science into account.

#vice is the only pretty boy regardless #but he doesn't know that #malice genuinely has huge paws

[heymeowmao]

长月烬明 | Till the End of the Moon E35 ° I’m not afraid of turning this stone. I just don’t want to live in the dark.

#长月烬明 #till the end of the moon #cdrama #Deng Wei #character: gongye jiwu #oh noooooo #oh my goooood #he's having an existential crisis #bc now he knows that the people he felt closest to #probably see him as a shadow of someone from their past #(and he IS) #then he runs to find comfort and finds himself with the other person who he feels a connection to #mo nv #but he's a figure from HER past too #but he doesn't KNOW that #is he just a substitute for xiao lin #to EVERYONE #pang yizhi - you prob never thought this would happen but #why did you do this to him #his existence in itself is sort of a paradox though isn't it #bc how was he (gongye jiwu) 'born' in the first timeline??? #also is his huadian a camelia flower #meowmao gifs #i gotta finish the 2nd half and 36 tomm

[awakefor48hours]

I feel like Asta is the type of person to try sword swallowing without practice but does an oddly good job at it but it's horrifying the way he does it.

#he's an eldritch god #but he doesn't know that #black clover #black clover anime #asta #asta black clover

[empressgeekt]

Trolls - Chuck AU

No one is going to read this post but what the heck!

For everyone who doesn't know, Chuck was a T.V show that aired in the early 2000s, it's spy thriller with a lot of office comedy, where a retail worker is suddenly sucked into the world secret mission and lies when a government computer program is downloaded into his head on accident. I highly recommend it. It's available on HBO Max, please watch it.

The Au opens with, Creek sneaking into a government facility and downloading a computer program, known as the Intersect. The alarms go off, and suddenly Creek is blowing up the room and trying to escape. He makes it outside but is gunned down by one John Dory. In his "last" moments, Creek emails the downloaded data to a trusted civilian friend....Poppy.

Poppy is currently living, not her best life. She's works in technology retail, as an member of the local BuyMore's NerdHerd, after getting thrown out of Standford, by her ex...Creek. She lives with her sister, Viva, and Clay her boyfriend, who are both successful doctors. Clay and Viva are currently trying to play matchmakers to get Poppy out of her slump, by inviting their co-workers/friends to Poppy's Birthday party. Meanwhile Cooper, Poppy's bestfriend and co-worker, is trying to sneak the birthday girl out the back door. The Party is a bust, and the sisters have a heart-to-heart over it. By the end of the night, Cooper and Poppy are playing video games together, and then Poppy gets the email from Creek. After sending Cooper home, Poppy opens the email, and all of the data gets downloaded in to her head. From this point forward anytime that she sees or hear something that is related to the information in her head, she gets a flash of government secrets. Poppy has her first flash, when in the shower while listening to the radio.

On the spy side of things, two organizations, NSA and CIA, are left to scramble after Creek stole all of their secret intel. They (I'm thinking Essence and Quincy would be in charge of all this) locate poppy, who they think is Creek's accomplice, each spy ring put their best on the case as they both want to control Poppy. NSA puts John Dory on the case, while CIA puts their Agent Branch. Sure, the whole situation is a ticking time bomb due to the tension between the brothers, but the situation should be handled quickly (key word should).

Branch takes an offensive approach to the situation. He walks into the BuyMore, charm turned up to 11, and flirts with Poppy, much to her shock. He's not fully convinced that she's a cutthroat spy, especially after watching her help a little girl and her dad. However, Quincy tells him to push forward. So, he breaks into her apartment in an attempt to steal her computer. It fails when Poppy and Cooper come to the apartment earlier then expected. So, he's forced to move forward with a romance plan. He eventually charmed a date out of her.

Poppy comes home with the news of the date, with excitement. She and Viva prep normally, while Branch prepares for anything with knives and poisons. Date starts out as normal, and Poppy tries to keep it that way, by ignoring the flashes she has on the news and other triggers. However, when they go dancing, Branch notices that John Dory is making his move, with his own capture team. Branch takes out the team, and gets away in a car chase all while revealing almost everything to Poppy about the Spy world and Creek. The chase ended on the roof with John cornering them at gun point where Poppy comes clean about the email and flashes. This leads to her explaining that what the visions are telling her is that there's a bomb in nearby hotel that will kill several members of government if it isn't stopped.

Long story short, Poppy defuses the bomb, and NSA and CIA are forced to work together on this operation due to the sensitivity of it. This leads to rising tensions between, John and Branch as they don't trust each other due to current and past events, Clay too. He knows all about the spy stuff due to it being the family business, but he wanted no part of it, and cut contact with his brothers (except Bruce) for it. And he doesn't want Viva or Poppy involved at all. However, he has to just accept that Poppy is apart of this dangerous world, at least until the Intersect is out of her head.

As the next five years pass, things change and Poppy becomes a fully fledge Spy and her relationship with Branch would move beyond just a cover, VIva and Clay marry and have a little girl, and more family secrets would be revealed as Peppy would've been one of the creators of Intersect Program.

Of course these roles aren't completely solid. I've figured out ways to make it, as Branch being the one who got the intersect, and whays for Clay to be that one. The Poppy is the intersect one, that has made to most sense so far.

____

So, that's my rambling on this idea, watch the Chuck Series, seriously you'll have a fun ride. It's basically a show for nerds who like gun fights. If you have any questions, on this Au or any of my others, feel free to message me. Peace Ya'll!

#fanfic #branch x poppy #humor #dreamworks trolls #fic planning #trolls branch #trolls au #trolls john dory #clay x viva #trolls clay #trolls viva #trolls poppy #cooper trolls #chuck bartowski #Chuck au #essence #Quincy #modern au #spys #I don't know how my brain came up with this #John totally would have a secret child with Detla in this au #but he doesn't know that #so #oc #trolls

[kurtcobainsgreencardigan]

My sister's boyfriend asked if my best friend and I were dating, so now she's making me fake date her. What in the ao3?

#this is so funny #my sister said he really thinks we're dating #what's happening #she's straight tho #but he doesn't know that

[the-messenger-hawk]

Wangnan, meeting an irregular like:

#ja wangnan #25th bam #jue viole grace #urek mazino #tower of god #tog wangnan #tog bam #tog urek #look man if he's actually immortal then all he needs to do is befriend all the irregulars #invulnerability achieved #but he doesn't know that #Wangnan needs a grace period of hanging out before he's not scared of being murdered anymore

[churchydragon]

thinking about my SCP 049 design again. what if I gave him little ears.

#it wouldn't be very corvid-like but I wanna make him even more bird #he already has bird feet and big ol talons. you don't wanna be kicked by him and not just cuz of the talons #he kicks hard #he also has a mouth. he just doesn't need to open it to speak. #he has teeth too. they're a little small but there's a lot of them and they are very sharp #also feathers. feathers everywhere except his face. and that is his face. I'm on team Not-A-Mask for 049. #the robe is still skin. it's just not his skin #but it did belong to someone related to him #the Pestilence is also real but only actually effects his species. humans are unaffected and are carriers of the disease #but he doesn't know that #also his touch is meant to be more paralyzing but it affects humans way more. just straight up kills them. #churchy talks #churchy tag rambles #I blame the return of SCP interest on Pangolin. LC Masks make me think of Dyo. another menace mask

[kiwi2229]

It was supposed to be only Tumblr post. It got out of hand somehow, but I love it. This is the scene I wanted to write on Tumblr, rest of it you can find on my ao3 :)

Regulus spends another hour just looking at the big black dog who didn’t move from his side. As soon as Regulus calmed the dog lay right next to him pressed against his leg.

“Don’t leave me,” Regulus whispered. The words just bubble from him, and he doesn’t have it in him to care. The dog lifts his head to look at him. He has greyish eyes. Almost like Sirius has. Regulus didn’t even know dogs could have grey eyes. “I… I missed you. I hope you will always come back to me. I don’t want you to leave.” He admits. As stupid as it sounds, the dog is one of the best things in his life right now and he is not ready for him to leave. He is so sick of people leaving. Not sticking around. The dog whines in what seems like an apology and buries his muzzle into Regulus’ hand. He pets him for a moment before reaching into his robes to pull out a small package.

“I got something for you.” He unwraps the package and pulls out a green collar. “I was thinking that you don’t have a name. And everybody should have a name. So, I bought this for you. Now we just have to figure out what to call you.”

Regulus thinks hard about any name that would fit the dog. Meanwhile, the dog snuffles all around the collar and the paper of the package. When the paper starts to bore him, he buries his muzzle inside Regulus' robes trying to find the food Regulus brought for him.

Regulus laughs and pushes him away. “It tickles. You always do this. Sticking your nose where it does not suppose to be…” He arches his eyebrow. “I should call you snuffles.”

The dog stops and looks at Regulus with a searching gaze. “Snuffles? Do you like it?” He asks and the dog wiggles his tail in agreement. “Okay. Hold on.” He carefully pulls out his wand and waves it around the dog tag on the collar. He looks at it critically. He hesitates for a moment and then waves his wand one more time.

“See?” He shows the dog the tag. There is in needly handwriting stated Snuffles. “And I added something. If you ever get hurt so people know to write to me.” On the other side of the dog tag is in the same handwriting added: In case of emergency contact Regulus Arcturus Black.  As soon as he secures it around Snuffle's neck the dog starts to run around and jump on Regulus trying to lick his cheek again, wiggling his tail viciously.

#Regulus befriends a stray dog #but it's actually Padfoot #but he doesn't know that #oneshot #fanfic #ao3 #marauders #marauders era #regulus black #sirius black #black brothers #sirius and regulus #I love them so much #brotherhood #mending relationship #angst #happy ending #Sirius Black as Padfoot #snuffles

[load-screen]

you look so squishyy!

[Loading...]

Thank you! I am unfortunately made of glass and metal so I dont believe I would feel squishy, but I am glad I look like it!

I was probably designed this way to look more welcoming to travelers, although I'm not sure who exactly designed me...

#loading chats #he has a thin layer of felt on his arms and legs and upper portion of his body #but he doesn't know that

[bibiana112]

abt ur reblog abt fandom stuff, i will happily oblige to ask if ur brain gave u anymore thought of the no apocalypse junpei finds quark au? love love love aoi's role in it and i think abt it a lot so im curious! literally happy to listen to anything abt it this is my entire shit

Oh!!! Sadly I don't have much on it, no, but I do have the initial little exchange that made me think about it, a lot of times my brain just runs with a back and forth dialogue and if I like it I write it down and only if I like it a lot do I go back and write down the descriptors and rest of the context to how the scene plays out in my head but it's sadly not happened to this as fun as it would be of a scenario to think about my brain checked out after I wrote down Aoi being super embarrassing to Akane by talking about when she was a baby and bossing the two around cause they called him in to babysit for being the only one there who knows anything about tending to another living being

Okay actually I read the thing again and apparently I thought of this as an au on my version of the au where the kurashikis don't do any of the vlr or ztd stuff and just work with sois on random esper stuff after a couple years so they don't have to be on the run anymore but they still have more restrictions than other agents, so there's a little joke that's like hey do you this violates probation? And idk there could be a plot there somewhere also they're at least in their late twenties by that point if not early thirties and Junpei and Akane aren't married cause this isn't canon they don't get officially hitched as soon as they look at each other again

I guess I'll add what I actually have here, hold up I'll give the bare minimum of context so they're not talking in the void

.

Once the door cracks open and Akane gets up in a huff to greet her brother with one rant after another, none of which Junpei even directs his attention to or try to follow, he gets up from his seat carefully. Holding a little blond baby draped in a single blanket they had lying around in his arms.

Aoi already got the heads up of what's happening from Akane earlier, although she didn't sound as eloquent as usual. Tenmyouji was out and somehow came across an empty lot which somehow had a baby crying in it and somehow it wasn't just him hearing things but an actual child that was abandoned there when he went to look.

And somehow, he thought bringing the kid home with him was the most logical course of action, which Akane couldn't agree with less. There were a thousand other ways he could have helped and as far as she's concerned this is one of the worst ones.

Before they could get into an even messier argument the crying started up again and she elected to call her brother in for backup before she had a Moment™ over how irresponsible it was for her stupid fiance to come home with an infant when he has yet to successfully keep a plant alive on his own.

Despite how set off by such an unpredictable event his sister was, Aoi wasn't seeming terribly unsettled. In fact after he's done helping Akane cool off and sending her to take a breather along with a glass of water for herself, he walks up to Junpei rather giddy. Which Junpei will never get used to seeing from him. He'll much less get used to hearing him make a high pitched voice as he leans in to lend a single finger for the baby to grasp with his whole entire chubby little hand.

"Aww... where did this little guy come from?" He spends a little bit like that, Junpei also smiling fondly while Akane, from far over the corner table, silently judges them both. It's late at night and she got herself coffee instead of plain water. Then Aoi's voice goes mostly back to normal, dropping harshly to an incredulous tone as he pulls his face away like he didn't want the infant to notice the change in tone. Although, his hand doesn't move away. "Seriously though, are you guys gonna keep'em?"

"That's the idea!" "We're *not* keeping it!"

"Ah, I see what the emergency really is. You needed a babysitter while you tear each other to shreds, I mean, sure, at your service. Hey, hold like this." With that Junpei's arms are free, he does watch for what his brother-in-law to be shows him to be the correct way of properly resting them over the shoulder and then how to support the baby's neck and head with how he was doing it earlier.

"Did you give them a bath after bringing them in? Even wrapped up on this it's far too cold outside. How long's it been exactly?"

"Uh, only a couple hours, sun was already down. And no, of course I didn't, how do we even do that? You can't just put him in a shower."

"Well, no duh. You need a little plastic bathtub, eh- honestly even just the sink will do, as long as it's shallow enough to hold them up."

"How do you even know this stuff."

Akane joins them, getting close while paying attention only to what they're talking about. Unfortunately, it's Aoi who's talking.

"Mom and dad had me help dry Akane after her first baby bath–" "Aoi..." Her hand goes instinctively to pinch his arm but it stops halfway, then it stays there as she closes her eyes and inhales deeply defeated by the fact she can't shut him up this easily without risking him losing his balance.

"She was soo tiny. I don't know about being this small, but I think she was heavier."

"Aoi. Aoi. Please, shut your mouth. And I'm pretty sure you just couldn't hold as much weight back then."

"Hm. Maybe." He shrugs. Then completely takes the subject over a one hundred and eighty degree turn. "Do you think this violates probation by the way?"

It's Junpei who answers.

"That's... A fair question."

He didn't think of the legal implications of bringing a baby off the streets to his house which just so happens to be the same place his criminal mastermind girlfriend lives. In fact, he was much more hopeful she'd be all altruistic about it and how it's the right thing to do instead of getting hung up on it being an impractical solution or that he's just fooling himself wanting to skip right to raising a kid together or whatever.

"We are not on 'probation', and we're not adopting a whole human child because of an impulse *you* had, Junpei. Our technically legal position is only yet another reason we should–"

Aoi interrupts her before she can get on a roll ranting again.

"Can you guys argue at the grocery store? This thing is gonna get hungry sooner rather than later and we can't exactly feed them with instant ramen."

"I have other things on the kitchen, I'll let you know!"

"Yeah, well, but I don't figure you treat yourself to baby formula on the weekends, now do you? And a can of energetic won't do it either, jackass. Now, get moving!"

#but yeah feel free to continue workshopping this with me this one's fun akdhksjs #if anyone wants to weigh in too I guess #this was very fun to go back to and write actually :3 #I have so many verbal exchanges between characters with zero context but that I look at and know exactly what's happening lol #my brain just likes to simulate conversation far more than it enjoys actually engaging in it which. c'mon man #but yeah! please lmk your thoughts :3 and thanksies for asking #a tag for asks #dreamy don't look #vlr spoilers #hhhhh god this has to go on the general spoiler tag for caitas sake gosh darn #oh hold up I am actually thinking more about this now that I should be asleep lol #like there was another hing I remembered too of Junpei just being so protective and wanting to stay close #that Aoi has to tell him not to fall asleep holding them or he can smush them #which led me to think how I'm not sure this scene would end with him just going to the store wih akane cause idk if he'd trust that #she wouldn't have instructed him to just take the kid to an orphanage while they're away cause well #no matter how nice he's being or how genuine the situation seems it's still Them. y'know? #I don't think even years of getting used to each other would make that thing in #his brain saying they both would scheme behind his back again if push came to shove go away completely #and he's very right that they would even if it's not actually the case here this once it's genuine #but he doesn't know that

[praetorqueenreyna]

The seagull with a broken wing watching me approach it with a comically oversized net

#FOR THE RECORD Im trying to catch it to bring it to a wildlife rehab center #but he doesn't know that #I've captured 2 broken wing gulls already #from their perspective im kidnapping the weak and they are never seen again

[gayboybeetle]

my coworker thinks i get pegged 👍

#its funny bc im very ace #but he doesn't know that #in a crazy turn of events he thinks im cishet #which is WILD bc he knew me pre T #i guess he's just like 'this guy is just REALLY small. and a REALLY late bloomer' #milo.txt

[cambrry]

I started a new game to play the new farm but😭😭 I forgot how mean used to be Shane at the beginning

#He doesn't know it yet but he's gonna be my husband #stardew valley #sdv shane #sdv fanart #sdv farmer #stardew fanart #stardew shane #my art #digital drawing #fanart #stardew bachelors

[nerdpoe]

Phantom, the newest addition to the Justice League, pulls Wonder Woman aside.

He has...a strange request.

He's nervous, flustered, fading in and out of the visible spectrum. It's clear that what he's about to ask of her is important to him, and even though she has an uncomfortable voice in the back of her head telling her this young hero is about to ask her out, she resolves to listen before she jumps to conclusions.

She's glad she did.

"Can...can you put a grave for me in Themyscira? I know it's just for women, but it's the safest place I can think of for it! I just...I don't have a grave, and Clockwork says it's starting to stunt my growth as a Ghost, and I have too many enemies on American soil, so. It's okay if you say no, though, I'll figure something out, it's fine."

Diana lets him ramble to the end, already knowing what her answer is going to be.

"We would be honored to host your grave, Phantom. Do you have any remains I can take home? Do you require a funeral service?"

Phantom looks...he looks beyond grateful. Close to tears.

"No, no remains. A symbolic grave is fine, it just. It has to have my real name on it, my mortal one." He says, looking hesitant. "Please don't reach out to my family, Wonder Woman. They don't know."

With that, he hands over a small slip of paper, torn from a notebook and clearly folded one too many times.

She takes it as though he were entrusting her with the rarest diamond in the world. She wants to, but she does not ask how they could not notice the death of someone so very bright.

Instead she nods, tucking the paper away.

Phantom will get a grand grave, one worthy of a friend to the Crown of Themyscira. She will ensure it.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #phanfic #story prompt #she builds him a superb grave #and makes it a point to leave flowers at it whenever she can #the paper also had his birthdate and deathdate #she doesn't know who clockwork is but she's heard phantom talk highly of him #so she trusts that this clockwork fellow wasn't joking around #she also makes it a point to take phantom for ice cream or other treats now that she knows he died so young #she keeps her word #she doesn't contact the fentons #she doesn't look into them #she's not bruce and she knows how to respect a boundary

[mrghostrat]

who am i to refuse a warmup crowley meme

#he lost his best friend </3 #twice </3 #yes i know his jacket doesn't have buttons but how else am i supposed to fit in excruciatingly subtle Fry & Laurie references without them #and yes those colours are intentional uwu thanks The Used #good omens #gomens #anthony j crowley #crowley #good omens art #rat draws #good omens meme

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.