#but i’ve been going insane about this for months

[ifyoucandaniel]

exactly one person asked and i’ve been DYING to make this, so here are all of my favorite long batman fanfics in general and for new readers @twisted-tales-told :)

cards on the table by @wesslan ! 69k, completed. this is one of my all time favorite fanfictions, it’s so funny and tim is a mastermind genius and a little liar <3 he basically pretends to be a fortune teller and gives scarily good predictions and advice by stalking the upper class and eventually gets involved with the batfam and has to maintain his lies while dealing with his issues :) 10/10, very found family, good angst, so much lying

Dark Matter by @mysterycyclone , 221k, ongoing. this is a batman fanfic rec, of course my bbg dark matter is going to be here <3 this is a MCUxDCU crossover where after infinity war (spoilers for that if you haven’t seen it!) peter parker gets sent to the DCU dimension with part of the soul stone and basically is haunted by the ghosts of the avengers while trying to survive in gotham and get back to his dimension. this is so well written i’ve read it at least three times, it’s still ongoing but trust me it is SO GOOD. i can’t properly describe it, but if you like spider-man and you are interested in batman, you’ll love.

Red is the Color of Sinners by @bluelotuswrites , series, 120k, ongoing, M. i want you to look me in my eyes when i tell you this is my favorite series on ao3. it is set after under the red hood and daredevil 3 where jason and matt meet in a church after jason loses his ability to speak following the events of UTRH. they keep running into each other both as matt and daredevil and eventually jason begins helping matt out with injuries and tech. it’s not finished yet, but there is something so compelling about their dynamic in this series as well as jason’s overall character and how he is portrayed. i’m a sucker for mute jason after UTRH and this series does so well giving him a fresh start and a place away from gotham to heal and build relationships. i cannot recommend enough.

buy back the secrets by @vinelark , 71k, ongoing, T. THIS!!! oh my god, so this is a timkon fic where kon still doesn’t know tim’s civilian identity, but whenever he’s in trouble tim calls for superboy which leads to them meeting without kon knowing. shenanigans ensure when kon starts spending more time with tim! it’s still ongoing but the author is currently working on the next part and it is so so worth the wait. chapter 4 ends on a cliffhanger though so be warned :))

Sales People Know (listening is the most important part) by Mayhem10, 77k, completed, T. this has the coolest urban magical realism ever. tim basically runs this magic shop that shows up places and people who need something find it in his shop :) it’s kinda a slow burn found family fic with magic themes and a smidge of angst!

Retrograde Motion by Lysical, 112k, completed, T. this is best de-aged kid fic ever. jason gets turned into a 7 year old and basically the outlaws, artemis and biz, join forces with the batfam to take care of him. but trust me when i say this is worth your time, it might sound tropey but in the best way possible!! and jason’s relationship with artemis is sooo important to me in this!

Hand in Unloveable Hand (a chokehold) by britishparty, 54k, completed, M. this is one of the best psychological torture/grooming fics i’ve ever read. pretty much what if while our taking photos of batman and robin, little tim gets kidnapped and black mask gets his hands on him and decides he’s the perfect size for a protege. years of psychological abuse and insane mind games ensue. also tim is a Badass™️

If He Had Come by bronwe_iris, 45k, completed, T. so i’m a little freak and i love the angst of arkham knight jason, but more specifically the aus where bruce saves jason before he becomes the arkham knight! this is an au where bruce finds jason and saves him from the joker after 9 months of torture and brings him home. focuses on his healing mentally and physically and rebuilding his relationship with his family

Banshee in a Well by liverobinreaction (bugbee), 43k, completed, T. veeeery good angst. basically what if tim couldn’t die? 43k of tim drake whump where he just dies a bajillion times and eventually his family notices <3

The Birds: Hatching a Family by Oceanera12, 81k, completed, T. this is like “what if the batkids weren’t adopted by bruce, but instead they were all foster siblings who can’t seem to stay out of gotham at night and batman happens to find them and decides obviously he can’t leave these kids to their own business, he has to stick his nose in it” and there’s some angst and heaps of found family

The Hellblazer’s Apprentice by @bluelotuswrites, 29k, ongoing, M. what can i say, im a simple woman, i love to see jason with literally any older male mentor :) basically in UTRH what if he took up an apprenticeship under constantine to learn magic to piss off batman! so good, i really love constantine so seeing him and jason interact in a long fic is so good. also ALL BLADES JASON TODD SAVE ME… ALL BLADES JASON TODD-

something in the static by bonerot19, 101k, ongoing series with three main completed works, T. this is a jason centric series where jason still lives in crime alley with his mom and dad and never stole the batmobile tires. it follows his life in crime alley with an addict mom and an abusive dad and one night when his dad is whaling on him nightwing finds him and the bats just can’t seem to leave him alone after that. steph is his neighbor and best friend also and their relationship is so good. this is a “what if jason took a different way home to the wayne’s” fic series and i love it so much <3

catch the asteroids that come your way by ThePackWantsTheD, 54k, completed, T. i don’t read a lot of ships in the batman fandom i’m sorry, but this kyle/jason one is sooo lovely. basically the two of them growing up together and falling in love and then dealing with the aftermath of A Death in the Family and finding each other again :) really sweet and nice!

hope you find something you like! i realized the majority of these are tim or jason centric, and i love them all dearly, but if anyone has any recs for long fics focusing on any of the other batkids lmk! and any other recs in general, i am a fiend for new fics

#batman fanfiction recommendation #batfam fic rec #batman fic rec #fic: cards on the table #fic: dark matter #fic: red is the color of sinners #fic: buy back the secrets #fic:salespeople know (listening is the most important part) #fic: retrograde motion #fic: hand in unloveable hand (a chokehold) #fic: if he had come #fic: banshee in a well #fic: the hellblazers apprentice #fic: the birds: hatching a family #fic: something in the static #fic: seventeen going under #fic: catch the asteroids that come your way #timkon #jaykyle #timkon fic rec #batman #batfam #jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson #damian wayne #bruce wayne #stephanie brown #duke thomas #cassandra cain

[poisonpercy]

Gotta be honest, the popularity of blond Percy thanks to the pjo show is driving me insane because every time I see pjo fanart, I have a crisis over what little blond boy is being depicted

#walker you’re a great percy #but we need more hair color biodiversity #i miss the ease of knowing the black haired boy was percy #this is so stupid #but i’ve been going insane about this for months #pjo #percy jackson #skys post

[pierrelucduboiz]

i haven’t seen anyone talk about this, but quinn and jack have matching jumpers

#maybe i’m just insane but i’ve been thinking about it for months #do u think luke has one too?? #i’m going insane #quinn hughes #jack hughes #luke hughes #vancouver canucks #new jersey devils #hughes brothers

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Shirayuki: some spineless bitch doubted my moral conviction and tried to use my lack of title to manipulate you so I immediately threw myself off the building to prove a point

Obi: I jumped off after her no context no questions asked

Zen: I have to kiss someone on the mouth about this immediately

#obizenyuki #is this not what happened #obi #Shirayuki #zen wisteria #zen wistalia #akagami no shirayukihime #Shirayuki really said ‘you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair’ and immediately hurled herself out the window #no hesitation #she just fucking Went #Obi saw her trip down and immediately went after her didn’t even know what was going on #zen immediately blacked out and ruined his three month hyper planned fantasy about how he would first ask to kiss her because that was the #most attractive thing he has ever heard #ot3 #they should be together forever giving Mitsuhide heart palpitations #Mitsuhide sobbing in the distance: I’m so happy zens found love with people who love him for him #mitsuhide simultaneously popping heartburn medication: I’ve never been more stressed in my LIFE #look as a polycule they have it all #they’re all dramatic and beautiful and genuinely respect one another #they’re all fucking insane #they all have an inexplicable aversion to using the fucking stairs #they are all me playing botw #‘I Will Use The Most Direct Path’ and scale a fucking wall when the stairs are like two feet to the left

[polycrews]

this is relevant to approximately two people

#nothing of importance #ii mephone4s #lil hal homestuck #yeah i’m not tagging his properly. anyways. goes INSANE #this has been rotating in my mind for months now. feels sort of silly that this is one of the few things i’ve posted in recent times #that and gt+. see alas homestuck fixation has ended but i still love you guys thank you for having me in the intermission community #as for the post. also consider parallels between hal and bot. me when i am created as a replacement for a (not quite) dead person and- #-that’s basically the extent of my identity. also i’m a kid #honestly all the robot arcs in ii go SO fucking hard i am family guy death pose #also also ask me anything about mephone4s ever i am number one 4s fan for life

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[figuerockfaeth]

I NEED TO MOVE OUT NOOWWWWWWW

#i woke up at 3 pm bc this was my 1st day ‘off’ in forever #and when i went to grab something to eat our back door was fully open and my car was nowhere to be found #cat* #so i freaked out and started looking outside but when i realized she wasn’t there and my roommate also wasn’t recently outside #i knocked on her bedroom door and she was like ‘oh sorry i was asleep do you want me to help look’ #YES i want you to help look what are you talking about #eventually i found her bc my cat is the best girl in the world and never left our yard- she was in the crawl space under the house #but not only am i pissed she let my car out then took a nap #but we don’t live in the safest city in the world and while we were both sleeping our door was fully 90 degrees open #so now not only do i feel like kevin (cat) isn’t safe here but I don’t feel safe sleeping here anymore #the lease is up in july and i finally get to leave #this girl is a random roommate my former roommate found to replace her #and the whole process/experience has been awful #i just have to survive 4 months #during the summer i might keep paying rent but fully leave and go live with family #bc my school isn’t in driving distance of any of my family #now i’m thinking about asking someone if they’ll take kevin for a couple months bc im so sorry about her #but my dad has a dog that doesn’t love cats and my best friend is allergic and my mom lives in another state #personal #delete later #also this is unrelated BUT every weekend without fail she does laundry at an insane time in the morning #and our washing machine is the loudest washing machine i’ve EVER heard #and of course it’s right against the wall of my room #not hers #i only get two days a week to sleep past 630 am and she almost always ruins it

[just-rogi]

.

#like I’m sorry #I love my best friend so so so much and she’s perfect and kind and has gone above and beyond to be rational and to be there for me #and I get it she’s an autistic woman and has faced adversity and has had to go on medical leave and that’s hard #and I’m not being dismissive of her struggles #but it makes me so angry because her parents unconditionally love her and her siblings and have always made her feel that way #and has never worried about money as a kid #and yeah her relationship with her parents isn’t perfect of course #but she literally cannot understand domestic violence beyond just reading about it in a book #like she did everything she can to understand and relate #but sometimes I want to scream because I feel so alone #because no one in my life fucking understands why I’m the way I am #and I’ve been struggling the past two months really badly with coping #I’ve had to go to the doctor to ask about PTSD and not like the tik tok OWO kind #but the I was in a car crash as a kid with my dad as a drunk driver and I keep getting flashbacks in my daily life to being a small child #that are impacting by daily life and interactions #and like I feel so fucking alone #and to hear from my friends ‘your right this is horrible and toxic but lots of people go through this’ ISNT FUCKING HELPING #I don’t want to hear that it’s normal I want to feel fucking safe in my bedroom without my mother blowing up my phone or calling the cops #I am unwell and I’m so stressed and I’m so sick and I can’t cope with this and none of the therapists I’ve tried to find handle ptsd #especially not therapists of color #I’m angry and I’ve been getting worse over the past two months #and not that it matters but due to ^^^ reasons my birthday has always been insanely fucking bad for me #like depression watch bad. when I turned twenty I was vividly hallucinating while walking around campus for a week straight having #flashbacks in class and I had to be taken out of the auditorium because I was physically unwell and couldn’t stop crying and shaking #and I told my friend I didn’t want to celebrate I just wanted to sit on her couch and not be alone and she fucking ditched me #because an emergency with a different friend came up the night before #like I have a history of suicidal ideation traumatic flashbacks eating disorders and self harm and I’m asking you to be with me on a very #upsetting day and you call me the night before telling me we have to cancel because another friend is having a bigger crisis #and like you don’t even feel a little bad about it?? #I’m just upset and scared and I’ve got a doctors appointment tomorrow and I’m not in reality right now and that’s scary

[heartual]

waaaaghhh

#🍄.txt #i lost so much weight being sick in 2021 and finally got back around to where i used to be earlier last year #except w starting birth control this is now the heaviest i’ve ever been 😭 #IMAGINE my struggle with clothes the last three years. omfg #before that too actually when i first got sick in 2018 too 😭 #tried on pants i got at the beggining of 2023 that i went a size down in bc my normal size was too baggy #they were borderline trying to unzip on me as i sat down and cut off my circulation GODDBYEEEE #i swear that bc has only stopped my period and made me put on weight more easily #CAN U TREAT THE OTHER PCOS SYMPTOMES TOO PLEASE #i haven’t weighed myself in months PUGHHHH i do not wish to see because it’s going to give me a very very bad complex about my weight again #*w my > #the changes w body in the last few years i am going insane please pick one range please i beg #OUUUGGGHHHHHH #it’s not even the weight anymore like i’ve tried to leave most of the internalized fatphobia in high school #but by god are clothes stressful with significant weight changes #also my mom with an eating disorder she won’t acknowledge or go to therapy for constantly being ‘concerned’ for my wellbeing #i finally don’t want to kill myself but god forbid … some of the medicación makes me gain weighte…… #anyway. i yam frustrated a little bit #took advantage of old navy’s 50% off sale and got some shorts and pance in a more comfy size at least #amanda small win 💪 #should be here in april 1st which is not giving me high hopes already 😭 but we move! #weight mention #ed mention

[edspeleerscock]

joe when he (hopefully) finds out h!rhys is actually a hallucination

#rhys montrose #goldrose #joe goldberg #you netflix #jonathan moore #ed speleers #penn badgley #joe is insane #he’s gonna have the worst psychotic break of his life i promise #man’s gonna question everything #dudes gonna be spiralling for ages #he’s gonna be looking at the actual rhys like ‘dude wtf are you talking about you just this second fucking left wdym you missed me???’ #‘WEVE LIVED TOGETHER FOR MONTHS WHAT DO YOU MEAN??????’ #rhys would just be looking at him like ‘??? i’ve been following you since you left i haven’t been living with you’ #joe and rhys end up going silent as joe finally realises he’s convinced himself rhys was actually there and fucking him #and that he was actually just getting his own rocks off while wishing rhys were doing it #joe are you queer by any chance? #just accept the fact you love rhys and we can move on okay bae #i think joe would probably get blackout drunk after that tbh #man wouldn’t be able to deal w it

[raedas]

did you know that uhm. the locked tomb <3

I DID KNOW THIS IVE BEEN SAYJNG

#i’ve been insane for the past month <3 i’m so hyperfixated we are not making it out of here #my life since january has been #finish locked tomb. immediately start rereading the locked tomb #i’m on nona now i am. going to do another reread after. to annotate my copies. yeah you could say i’m a little normal #asks #morgan #SORRY ABOUT YOUR NOTIFS BTW IFE BEEN HAVING FUN

[dentpx]

Trying very hard to not come on too strong with this guy because (1) I shouldn’t be pursuing a relationship right now so I need to endeavor to keep it casual and (2) he’s out of town for a week anyway cause it’s Christmas. But I likeeeeee him I’m thinking about him…..

#I’ve only been single for 2 months and in those 2 months I have learned SO much more about myself and my relationship with sex and my body. #legitimately insane. anyway. #I guess almost 3 months now? so that’s an appropriate amount of time I think #anyway apparently this guy has been into me for a little bit which is ACTUALLY INSANE TO ME???? I actually kind of thought he didn’t like m #and now I’m like going over every interaction we’ve had in the past couple of months like ?????? #making this post instead of texting him. keeping it cool 👍 #zoeposting

[dadbots]

August… time to get spooky.

#dadbots.txt #this has been in my draft for... almost a month. Yikes. #I’ve been dissociating hella hard these past months or something. swear I don’t remember time moving this fast. maybe it’s just me tbh. #idk what to say about July other than… boring? not much happened and I don’t really remember it if I’m honest. just. mm. shrugs. #best way to describe it LOL #been sleeping a LOT lately and I think it’s fatigue again. was it like anything before? no. not at that rate (yet) but just. #where you wanna sleep and sleep and sleep type of fatigue. you never feel rested and just gotta sleep it off kinda. #just one of those moments yknow. #it sucks. all I’m doing is letting the days pass me by and ‘missing out’ on living life when I could be enjoying it. but I lost interest - #- in doing so for months - years now due to personal health matters. And whaddya know - it came back again. after months of healing. #I'm pretty pissed as it does feel like a slap in the face. but you win some - you lose some. Gonna try and fight through it. #I wrote something at the beginning of august but that got deleted. Had a breakdown and thought huh. what a great way to start the month - #and now it's almost september. Just like that. What a month it's been. Stuck on what else to say but that really. #don't want to keep talking about depressing stuff as that's what i used to do and realized hey. maybe you should stop doing that so often #and not use it so casually in humor and/or stuff. Even though I reblog vents here n' all. but yknow. #maybe it is hypocritical. but that's not the point. Just want to reflect and see if i've changed since coming back to the web after a year. #not like it's going bad. just wished this year was a bit more optimistic. Last year was rough & i'm afraid this year will be another repeat #though I did come out to a family member this month and that was like a punch to the gut. Considering my status with them and all. #won't get into that. for now let's just say i'm not too close with them. An impulsive choice on my end but hey. it went well. #and that's what matters tbh. My younger self would've thought i was actually insane. like to even DO that? really? #shocking. I'm still not over that moment. Probably one of my biggest achievements this year. #I'll update this if anything else comes to mind. none of this make sense and that's ok. clearing my mind right now. #let's see what september has in store for me. Hopefully it'll get better as things slow down w/ winter on its way. #hope y'all enjoyed your summer. 🖤🤘🏽

[thewingedwolf]

@breanime the issue is that there’s so many things that could be causing it that basically every time i go to a pcp and say “the nausea is kicking my ass” they just kinda shrug. like it could be the fibromyalgia, the h. pylori, the lactose intolerance, the gerd, or something completely new (my mother actually does think i might have a hernia so you are possibly on the right track there) and trying to impress upon a doctor that my symptoms are severe enough that i’m complaining means they are likely at a point where a normal person would go to the ER, but a lot of them just kinda act like i complain to hear myself talk. like, the last two i had just put me on The Fibro Meds and when i said “hey i’m not sure these are doing much” they went “well those are the fibro meds so keep at it” like they won’t even give me things to ease the symptoms atp and im like 80% sure there’s a sticky note in my file that says “drug seeker and hypochondriac” bc the amount of times i’ve been dropped by a doctor or blown off in the past two years is kind of insane.

#replies #breanime #i *am* actually worried it’s a hernia. i’ve been thinking of completely switching groups bc i went from feeling like i finally had doctor’s #that cared about me to. after i got the fibro diagnosis. just being completely abandoned several times by several doctors #and that is not even counting the number of therapists that straight up drop me bc i’m too crazy. like will say To My Face they don’t do #cases like me. idk how u become a doctor and see a 20 year old sobbing in your office bc their body is just. broken. and go ‘nothing i can #do to help sorry’ like it’s insane to me i cry over random patrons at work i can’t help and u won’t help a sick person????? #anyway i didn’t mean to rant i’ve just been nauseous for like six months straight and i’m over it #i’m sorry u had a hernia tho those are rough i had a gym teacher who had one and he really went thru it poor dude 😭 #the amount of weed i’ve smoked to ease my nausea and swelling and pain………not healthy!!! #but if i say ‘the weed is the only thing that helps’ they accuse me of drug seeking. yeah bitch i am seeking drugs bc i’m sick! #also i appreciate whenever i make sad posts u specifically are like ‘oh no 😭’ more valid than any doctor

[yoohyeontual]

Can’t wait for the moment I won’t worry about my health anymore

#I honestly had enough #everytime I lil something weird about I panic #tomorrow is my MRI #I Hope they find the reason why am like this #everyone is sure it’s anxiety but even tho I never been diagnosed I know I’ve been dealing with anxiety since forever #maybe it did get worst but out of a sudden like this ??? it’s just so weird to me #except my health nothing makes me more anxious than I was last month or even last year #I feel like I’m even more at peace with what makes me anxious…. #idk but I’m tired of feeling like this #i also hope whatever the answer will be that it’s not dangerous for my life #and that there’s a solution cause I’m going to go insane #the concert was great but I feel like it may have fucked up my body again I climb so many stairs cause I was at the balcony 😭 #alex.txt