#but idk i think it would be hard for him!! he just wants to care for me and keep me safe and i have a tendency to self sabatoge.

[gardenofnoah]

cw: implied sexual trauma, panic attack, intimacy struggles

You don’t notice it happening until it’s buzzing under your skin. Loud and unavoidable, the only thing you can pay attention to is the irregular flutter of your heart and the way it seems that all the air has been vacuumed from the room—

“Hey.”

You blink, and Katsuki is no longer above you. He’s not touching you at all—you turn your head to find him next to you, propped up on an elbow and only worried.

“Too much?”

The panic flares at the question, because what if this is the last time? What if he’s tired of this?

Your exhale is shaky—your laugh is forced and sounds out of place. “No, it was fine, I just—“

“Oi—“ he says, gently, “tell me the truth.”

The truth burns your eyes and keeps them on the ceiling, away from his. You nod, helpless and resigned to whatever comes next.

“What’s goin’ on in your head?”

You feel the tears spill over before you can catch them. You swipe them away with the back of your wrist. It’s still numb. “I’m just sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin it.”

He grunts a little in acknowledgment—a displeased, ugly sound—and then there’s movement that finally draws your eyes to him. You watch him cover himself with your duvet—all the way up to his chin.

“S’it okay if I hold you?”

He reaches for you and you let him pull you in. His hands stay above your shoulders and pointedly avoid your neck—cradling your head, letting you hide in the curve of his throat. His pulse is steady and constant against your forehead—or you imagine it would be, if it wasn’t muted by the fabric.

“Nothin’ is ruined,” he murmurs against your hairline, “s’my job to keep you safe.”

Your chest shudders against the cushion of the blanket and you feel a little guilty about crying all over it but Katsuki keeps you there, tethered to him. The ringing in your ears subsides, just a little. Just enough to hear the panic in your own voice.

“I promise I want it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m sorry—“

“Hey, hey,” he shushes you, careful not to tighten his arms around your shoulders. “Nothin’ to be sorry for. S’too much today—that’s all.”

It’s quiet, then, save for your sniffling. He keeps his mouth pressed to your hair, and his arms wrapped around you. There is a noticeable absence of his fingertips tracing along your skin—you don’t feel them there at all, and it’s on purpose. He’s considerate and it makes you anxious.

“Can hear you thinkin’.”

“I just—“ you inhale, trying to be brave, “I don’t want you to leave. I know I can’t—give you this—“

“Oi,” he gruffs, a little sharply, “I don’t give a shit about that. M’not a barbarian.”

You feel the expansion of his lungs as he draws in a slow exhale, and lets it out against the crown of your head. “Don’t think so little of me,” he murmurs, tone laced with hurt.

“You’re right,” you whisper, because he is, “I love you.”

“Love you.” He kisses it into your skin, soft and barely there. “Always will.”

#i have beat this horse to hell but I really do love writing about struggles with intimacy #because ~i~ struggle with intimacy and I write for me ya know #but idk i think it would be hard for him!! he just wants to care for me and keep me safe and i have a tendency to self sabatoge. #if you can believe that. #he just wants to help and he knows that what happened before him is not his fault of course. but it upsets him when I project onto him #which is like. a very human thing? #i have been thinking about that post from the other day a lot about believing the people that love you #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou hurt comfort #bakugou comfort #bakugou fic #mha fic #bkg it’s the little things

[hood-ex]

wait idk anything about the tevis’— why would tommy tevis call dick his son? would you be willing to give a quick rundown

After Dick failed to get himself incarcerated, he became an enforcer for a mob boss named Tommy Tevis. Tommy took Dick in and made him part of his family. Tommy considered him an honorary son and thought very highly of him.

Nightwing (Vol. 2) #107

He even told Dick that everything he had (his home, his reputation, his family, etc.) was Dick's as well. Lynette, Tommy's wife, told Dick that Tommy would let Dick do anything. The whole family loved Dick, including Tommy's 15 year old daughter, Sophia. Sophia actually had a crush on Dick, but Dick acted like an older brother to her, helping her with her homework and such.

While Dick was away from the family for a few days, the cops busted into the Tevis's home. Lynette got killed in the gunfire, Tommy got taken to jail, and Sophia got taken in by the state.

Dick, while mentoring Rose, broke Sophia out of the state home. He got Sophia to help him with the mob. Then, when Chemo fell on Bludhaven, Dick saved Sophia and left her with Amy. When they reunited at the hospital, Dick asked Sophia to leave the mob behind and join a boarding school.

So, yeah, that's Dick's relationship with the Tevis family.

#no but i love when tommy tells dick that bruce must be proud of him--and dick gets this shameful look on his face and stays quiet #and then tommy playfully pinches dick's cheek and tells him not to worry bc he thinks dick is great/he thinks highly of dick #i mean say what you want about tommy being in the mob and all--but he does seem to be tuned in to dick's emotions #and when the other mobster was kinda grilling dick about being bruce's heir--tommy was frowning real hard on dick's behalf #and he later checked in with dick and was like hey that was kind of shitty and i don't want you feeling like your back's against the wall #like idk it just shows that tommy does care about dick--and he knows bruce is a sore spot for dick #dick--on the other hand--is a bit more emotionally distant from the family #he's just gone through some very traumatizing events and now he's doing some morally questionable things #so there's no way he can be truly authentic with the family when his whole lifestyle is now inauthentic to who he really is #and we see that when dick goes on a job that has a kid involved--and he didn't know there would be a kid there #and he gets very upset about a gun being involved and having a kid watch her dad get beat #so even though he might care about the tevis family--i don't think he could ever feel Truly part of the family #honestly wish a writer would bring back sophia though. would be nice to see dick still in contact with her #Dick Grayson #Tommy Tevis #anon

[resident-gay-bitch]

little rich boy sirius who gets disowned and can barely survive without his expensive brands and the basic human need to eat at least once a day meeting the entirely too generous james potter who just falls for the vanity and sincerity of the reformed rich boy and decides that once sirius stops caring about brands and status and rich boy things and just cares about what matters in life he decides to spoil his boyfriend to pieces because he’s secretly sitting on a fucking fortune

#idk i just think it’s funny #like james would find sirius when he’s struggling with money because he’s so bad at saving and prioritising his spendings because he’s never #had too before and so james would teach him how to do all that stuff and emotionally support sirius through it all and sirius just falls in #love with this beautiful guy who’s just so generous and who teaches him so many things and finds value in kindness and sincerity and #compassion and all that jazz and james falls in love with sirius helplessly because he might be stuck up and vein and kind of selfish and #is stuck up and cares all too much about status but he’s trying so hard to be better and he finds empathy because sirius got kicked out for #the worst reasons because he’s always been the black sheep of his highly cultist christian family or whatver and he’s also outwardly queer #and james decides that he wants to give sirius everything and loves the way he looks in expensive makeup and designer faux fur coats and #heels and divine jewellery and all that jazz but makes sirius sell it all and learn what it means to be human and not rely on money and #status and brands and stuff and sirius learns what it’s like to be decent and in touch with humanity and only then does james take sirius on #a surprise luxury holiday for his birthday or something and then just buys him thousands of dollars worth of all these glamorous looking #things and sirius is like omg what the fuck jamie and then he just becomes sirius’ sugar daddy because he can’t help himself but they’re #also in love and much better people because of it and when sirius buys things now it’s not because of brands or because they have big price #tags like he used too. he now buys things with james’ credit card he keeps in his own wallet because he thinks he’ll feel pretty in them or #because he thinks james will loose it if he sees sirius walking around in it or if he sees a really cute toaster that sends him into a #frenzy that has him spending all way too much on an impromptu kitchen renovation but james doesn’t care because as long as his boyfriend is #happy and actually paying attention to the price of things and calculating the best value and taking james’ opinion as well and just being #happy and safe and accepted in his new home and family here with his jamie #please i think they’d be so cute ugh!!! #prongsfoot #bambibelle #drabble #fic idea #marauders #james potter #sirius black #jay talks

[atopvisenyashill]

What would happen if Joffrey executed both Ned and Sansa?

I mean…a small riot happens? but maybe not? things definitely get more tense between the north and the iron throne that’s for damn sure. There’s not a reason to execute Sansa - she cooperated, she tried to help Cersei, and she’s eleven, and Ned specifically confessed to keep Sansa safe. If Joffrey says “all traitors and traitor’s blood must die” and then has eleven year old Sansa’s head lopped off in front of a crowd, i do imagine this is gonna ruffle some feathers.

There’s a few flashpoints here - the actual execution, Robb’s reaction to it, and Tywin’s reaction to Robb. Take the execution first.

there’s not a lot Ned can do in this situation but if Joffrey is stupid enough to say he’s going to kill them both, Ned is not going to willingly walk to his death. He’s gonna start screaming that Joffrey is a bastard born of incest, or he’s going to insist that Sansa is innocent and he never told anyone of his treason, but either way he’s gonna get the crowd riled up and start acting up to get Joffrey to change his mind, and let us remember how recent it was that a stark father pleaded for the life of his child and a stark child pleaded for the life of their father In This Very King’s Landing. If this becomes A Whole Big(ger) Scene, that’s bad. If Joffrey kills Ned and THEN says “actually bring Sansa up here too”  - and doesn’t Sansa pass out at some point after Ned is killed?? - what does he do here? Has her woken up so he can kill her? has her executed while she’s passed out or heaving and sobbing and saying she never betrayed him and she loves him? I don’t think Joffrey has enough reason to execute her, and if Ned, Sansa, or both are yelling and pleading as they’re held down and executed, it’s gonna give a lot of people flashbacks. He can do it, of course, but I do think there will be some hesitancy, maybe some arguing, and probably some loudly expressed opinions. and meanwhile Arya is watching all of this happen with Yoren. What is KL going to even look like after this? by the time Tyrion gets there, what’s happened without Sansa there? Dontos is dead. Littlefinger has to go back to fixating on Catelyn. Joffrey has started sexually abusing random maids and ladies because he has had no Sansa outlet for his temper. They can’t hold onto staff because Joffrey put Sansa’s head on a spike and won’t take it down and it’s freaking people out. Cersei and Joffrey keep having knock out fights in public over what to do about Jaime. Joffrey is devolving much faster here, and Jaime’s life hangs in the balance. 

Then there’s Robb’s reaction to whatever the hell happens in this scenario. He has just captured Jaime, and remember Cersei was nervous about Joffrey killing Ned bc Robb might kill Jaime in reprisal. If Joffrey executes Sansa? I think without Sansa as a hostage, Robb gets more reckless on the whole. I don’t think he’ll do anything stupid - nor would the lords at Riverrun agree to anything they thought was stupid - but Rickard Karstark and Edmure Tully as well as several other lords, are pushing for Jaime to be killed. He’s not fighting to save anyone at the capital anymore; this has strictly become a rebellion. I’m sure the Lannisters would try to lie about having Arya but Robb has Jaime, he has Riverrun, he has the North, he has everything to lose, and the Lannisters have no bargaining chip. Even if you assume battles and tactics stay completely the same, would Catelyn release Jaime in this scenario, if she knows Sansa is dead, and they have zero proof Arya is alive and zero explanation for her disappearance? I think it’s more likely she’s either continuing to work as an envoy, praying she’ll get word of Arya from someone if only she keeps asking and searching, or somehow in contact with Tyrion, trying to get more information on what may have happened. It’s possible she still gets herself in trouble, but is she going to just randomly set Jaime free? No, not without proof Arya is alive. Robb could choose to use Jaime in his terms - acknowledge me as King in the North and of the Trident, get your people out of the Riverlands, agree to these borders, and I’ll give you Jaime back - or give into the anger of the people around him and send Cleos Frey back to KL with Jaime’s head and a note that says fuck you and your family. Even if Stannis and Renly are still acting dumb (likely), and Catelyn comes back with Brienne and a wild story, does Robb just send her back out as an envoy to someone else? I mean potential shadow baby assassins notwithstanding, Jaime’s presence at Riverrun (or death to lord over everyone) is useful for Robb here. 

(I keep dancing around Arya because - is Yoren unable to stop her from straight up storming the execution, if Sansa gets brought out? In the commotion of whatever scene is happening, does Arya get lost? Get caught? Get hurt? Are there more guards out looking for her because she’s the only chance Cersei has of trading for Jaime now? Can she even get out of KL? Is Yoren more desperate to hand her off quickly now that he’s seen Sansa get executed? Lots of factors here!) 

Then there’s Tywin’s reaction to Robb. Jaime may or may not have been executed but he’s certainly in a much more perilous situation. Even with Roose helping to sabotage shit (would Roose decide this is the time to enter his villain era or would he figure joffrey is too much of a risk, and bide his time a bit more??), even if Robb still sends Theon with the exact same deal, at the exact same time, and that happens the exact same way, Tywin has to take into account that Jaime is a hostage in Riverrun when he gets to king’s landing to scheme the red wedding up, OR he gets to King’s Landing ready to scheme the wedding up and devices something 100x more brutal because Robb killed Jaime. Lannister dynamics are WILDLY different here with Jaime not coming back with Brienne, too!! 

Uh anyways the point is I think most everything in Westeros is affected by this.

My opinion is that KL becomes much more stressful to live in, because Joffrey has to crack down on the population, because they didn’t appreciate him killing Sansa, and also Cersei is hysterically angry with him, Tyrion has a much harder time getting control of the city back, the Tyrells are much more nervous about negotiations with Littlefinger in Bitterbridge, and Catelyn does not set Jaime free, which puts both the Iron Throne and the North/Riverlands in a weird ass position. 

#from there it’s hard to predict. #asks #anons #i think keeping jaime alive is smarter but would the lords go for it. if joff killed sansa i’m not sure the tyrells are open to lf. #more likely mace sits on his hands at bitterbridge maybe even rebuffs tywin when he comes to talk to. #but idk i think robb sends theon with wild terms like ‘do u want the crownlands’ & balon might not care but maybe asha would. #doran ignores tyrion’s calls once they get myrcella. #but the thing is. everything could technically go the same. the tyrells were already planning to off joffrey. the north could still #botch the strategy in the riverlands. jaime would be much more heavily guarded. sibel spicer could be in contact with him directly? #but….idk i just don’t think robb makes the same ultimate decisions in the beginning which changes the whole thing. #i think arya is emotionally wrecked by this. losing cat & robb really breaks her. i think if she lost ned AND sansa #right out the gate it would really hurt her. this is a scenario that makes me most sad for arya. #once again life is hardest on the best sisters to ever do it 😭

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me

#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason #the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2 #i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head #and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet #and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay #he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all #i have no idea what he has that i don't #but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about #not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me #not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act #im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough #for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away #from my sociopathic parents #and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough #but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d #exams #and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then #never cry #i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really #trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing #oh god this is now a ventpost #mes

[waywardsalt]

now bc of that one post abt zelda getting fridged whenever that one guy directs a zelda game im thinking abt tetra just getting turned to stone in ph and like. what would it have been like if she were an actual character in ph. what would she have done how would this have changed the story

#not gonna do a whole lot of tagging im just musing. if you wanna rb or reply with ideas thats great #im not the person to figure this out bc i dont actually care much abt tetra #not like oh i hate her but like. i only played ph and what i see of her beyond that has not endeared me to her #shes fine i just dont get it. ig cuz i didnt play ww but eh #cuz like. ok. pretty much the majority of phs plot relies on tetra having been turned to stone and fixing that #and me being the autistic little freak i am the psrt that also makes it hard for me to wonder what could happen if #tetra werent stone and that making the game better is like. ok what about linebeck and his arc #listen his arc is so fucking good and hes great and i dont think his arc would have been so good if link wasnt the character he was put wit #cuz link is a great foil and despite having minimal characterization has just the right personality to nudge linebeck along #cuz hes def part of what inspires some of that change in linebeck so idk what might have happened #if tetra was an active player interacting with him in ph too. cuz like idk most of the time when i see people #do stuff where they interact its usually tetra one upping linebeck or whatever and thars like. ok thats whar ciela does #maybe im reading into it too much and focusing on linebeck. idk how you couldve done and changed #the plot of ph to include tetra without just straight up rewriting the whole thing or putting link away #bc look me in the eyes. i do not think linebeck would have developed the way he did without having met link specifically #salty talks #idk i feel like linebecks arc is the best bit of story in ph so i want that to remain more or less intact bc thats where a lot of #the emotional stuff comes in at the end. his dialogue in the ghost ship battle and the final boss. its important #i dont think about tetra much cant you tell. so id leave this to someone who actually cares abt her as a character

[perilegs]

It's not an immediate change. When the party arrived in Baldur's gate, Nøkk became quieter. Bit by bit. You could hear him sing to himself or tell tales by the campfire less and less. If he didn't need it to cast spells, Nøkk's violin would have started to collect dust. The night before the journey to the Bhaal temple was dead silent.

#there was a tweet about what your tav/durges questline would be called if they were a companion and #i wanted it to do something with both bhaal and nøkks class as a bard and started thinking about canaries and #that one reddit post where someone was so sad bc they hadnt heard their roommate sing in a while #and idk i just love nøkk so much. he cares so much about how he presents himself but you cannot get that man to shut up #he's deathly afraid of the tadpole in his head but that won't stop him from humming to himself as he does whatever around the campsite #and i know he and wyll love telling stories back and forth. maybe they both know the same story and tell it together #and he's always on that damn violin #but the proximity to his father makes is a deer feeling coming straight from his core #humming to calm himself down while seeming nonchalant to others isnt an option #this is the kind of thing that paralyzes a man #as for most magic users. magic is nøkk's very essence. his soul. but as a bard. that magic is a melody. music. a hymn #bhaal smothers that. #under his influence. nøkk and his music. the essence of his soul. has been nothing but a tool for murder. #he's been reclaiming it bit by bit #but old habits die hard #auugh i love nøkk so much #oc: nøkk #oc: nøkk text #by makes is a deer i meant makes it a deeper #ill fix that when im on my computer and can edit tags

[skinnymeanfaggot]

also

#im making huge huge changes in my life and i think the next logical step would be to cut off jamie. ive already been ghosting him but thats #just me avoiding the problem. i just like. it feels fucked to be like hey i told you i was ok with what you did but i Changed my mind #i just think like. i have next to no contact with him and i feel fucking fantastic. we talk like every couple months on the rare occurrence #he can text and then i answer in vague short sentences and ghost. and now that i finally have firm boundaries with him and havent engaged #with him sexually its like. i feel like basically all my ties are cut. and i feel like im ready to let go for the first time. like ive #always felt like i just wasnt ready but now i like i Am ready its just a matter of like. doing it. thats difficult. even though i know hell #accept it because hes matured. and like. idk. i think its fine like this #and idk i think its fine like this. being the absolute barest form of acquaintances. i cannot stress how little we interact and how little #affect he has on my life at this point outside of what happened in the past. like i am in a good place he is 99% cut off i just need to do #the last bit. but like also fuck. you know. its hard to kinda finish it off. and its also like ooh it would hurt his feelings but now i #fucking. dont care lol. after everything. with blue i realize every day just how much more respected i feel and less gross and shitty #even with being jamies friend which we never were because whenever i was single we were sexual. i just felt bad. i never wanted to fuck #either. and he would say he loved me and id be like hahaha yeahhhh and now that ive finally drawn that boundary and said he cant do that #anymore i feel so much lighter and i just feel so happy and safe with blue in a way ive never felt with jamie and its like. im almost there #i feel like i might be able to cut him off by the end of the year. and thats crazy to me. i just also have a lot of like shit to unpack #in general too also. with what he did. and i just have a lot. but i feel like im progressing

[zurazakis]

ok ive finished the dlc so now i can properly say my least favourite thing about dragon age awakening is that the women feel like an afterthought & don't fit in the group at all. & i want to care about them & their banter so much. but i really don't because the game is giving me fucking nothing

#dragonageposting #IM SO FUCKING UPSET ABOUT THIS. i was thinking abt it so hard last night. #(crying) please join my polycule why wont you fit in my polycule videogame why didnt you let the women fit in my polycule #it doesnt help that anders & oghren's banter w them is insufferable. especially oghren #sigrun is SUCH a sweetheart & i adore her i really do but her & velanna are just so... lacking compared to everyone else #& it's by design! & i fucking hate that it is! #did i fuck up something? did i miss quests that would've made them better? even then i don't know if it would fix the issue #with oghren you already know him beforehand hes got a whole plotline & everything in origins so its like. it fits within the plot #anders shows up at the centre of the main plotline. at the start too. he integrates himself as part of the group very easily bc of that #nathaniel also has very good reason to be there! you killed his father! he hates your guts but hes not a bad person! he has depth! #he is given the opportunity to fit in a group whose leader he comes in loathing #justice would be part of the 'you're making it hard for me to care abt this character' group if i didnt know abt him showing up in da2 prob #but even then his quest just. felt longer. he was given more to do than both velanna & sigrun #not only that but hes a spirit possessing a corpse which makes his deal very unique #i was elated to meet sigrun bc i love the legion of the dead but they just. didn't give her much. #& the whole thing w velanna wrt seranni is like;.. barely touched on. i was so disappointed the quest was so short #the women are just given nothing compared to the men & i fucking hate it i wanna care about them so bad. i want to care. so bad. #they didnt even allow me to have either of them do their joining like??? what?? it mightve been a glitched thing or w/e but?? #i was just forced into the climax of the game without either of them doing their joining. and it fucking sucked #idk the later parts of awakening feel rushed. like they didnt plan to actually wrap it up & had to do it hastily. #the beginning was so interesting & i was genuinely having such a good time but by the end of it i was just tired #we barely got anything on the architect i was also hyped for him but then it was kind of nothing.

[pepprs]

mission failed we’ll get em next time 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#i literally can’t quit omg i feel so fucking bad. it wasn’t so bad this time but also HE LITERALLY FORCED ME TO COME OUT LKKE GIRL HELLO???? #he cornered me and asked me if redacted had to do w my s*duality and i was like ummmmm. yeah 🫣 and he was like now why didn’t you say that t #the first time 🤨 and i was like …………. 😳. AND THEN i asked him why he asked me that and he said he’s been waiting for the right moment to get #it out of me and he always suspected it LIKE HELLO I THINK THAT IS POSSIBLY WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE I WANTED TO DIEEEEEE #and i lied right to his face abt stuff w my mom and also the redacted situation bc i always feel in trouble whenever i talk abt them w him #and also he asked how things were w my mom and i told him and he was like that’s great but how are things with YOU and yoir mom 🤨. UGHHHHH #and i can’t leave bc his supervisor is gravely ill and they haven’t talked abt doing inter generational therapy w me yet which is what they #want to do <- hasn’t looked it up yet and doesn’t know what it receals about me. and he also is like yet agai. trying to get me to separate #myself from data expunged AND ITS LIKE OMGGGG NOTHING IS HAPPENING WHY DO I HAVE TO THROW AWAY A GOOD THING THAT IS WORKING FOR ME JUST FOR #THE SAKE OF CONFORMING TO SOME STUOID MENTAL HEALJT STANDARD. so yeah ummmmm idk what to dooooo i know im not getting the best possible care #and this whole thing has been a cluster fuck but he validated my reaction to something for the first time like EVER today and he has plans a #and what if they work. and like omg if i drop it on him he’ll be so hurt and surprised like it will really come out of nowhere and i don’t w #want to look like even more of a fool to him than iam. but he says i can’t withhold stuff bc it’s doing me a disservice and we need to see t #the fullness of who i am to get to the root and solve problems and stuff but it’s like uhmmmm… but you don’t make me feel safe for reacting #the way i do or wanting things to work out in a way you disagree with so how can i bring out all the parts of me if you don’t make me feel a #safe and unjudged for doing so like. lol. the thought of leaving him makes me feel so guilty and stupid bc it s like why are you throwing aw #away sliding scale therapy that could turn out to be really useful and running away when ppl tell you things abt yourself you don’t like to #admit and force you to look at your hard ugly truths. but also the thought of working w him until july after already having had 16 weeks of #this literaly makes me fucking insane so idk what to do and finding a new counselor would be so hard and i don’t have time or money. UGHHHH! #purrs #delete later #like how am i gonna walk out on him when we just spent all this time talking abt how this new technique will bring me into a new season. AUG

[camptw1nk]

I log into my other blogs multiple times every day and yet. Nothing Happens on them

#if we want to get ultra specific its because i want to revamp my multi but i refuse to work on it bc im scared of losing all my mutuals 🤪 #and i Know thats not likely but i will lose a lot it happens every time i move blogs and i move too often i know i do #i havent moved that blog in like 4 months? at least but i. i have made new blogs and i think people are. tired of it #ive never done anything on ali bc im scared people will see how i write her as Wrong not the canon divergence but like. How /I/ Write Her #like i havent seen so much of pll and im scared to write mean characters bc in the past ive faced a lot of people who. #cant really separate mean muse and nice mun and just kinda assume im mean #and its really hard to write a muse like ali without people who know and understand them #but i cant write w people who know and understand her bc a) i dont even know and understand her and #b) i don't feel like i can enter the fandom bc of how much of pll i havent seen #i am in a constant state of 🧍‍♂️ and it doesnt matter who i have muse for bc Ultimately kurt is the one i end up on #bc hes easy and people have come to know him and so people are actually interested and excited here #and i think people are still running on the hype of him on a solo blog rather than the multi so its all exciting #i wanted to move jason to a solo for the same reason just hoping people would. care #but uh. i think i just need to lower my muse count and find more people who will interact with whoever i write instead of trying to please #people who only have interest in one person #idk this became a rant i didnt mean it to long story short im everywhere always i just don't have motivation

[snowshinobi]

Rengoku "walking cure for seasonal affective disorder" Kyojuro and his sunshine color palette <3

#painted him last night and had the best time doing it bc yellow-orange-red DOES something to me!!! #the joy lasted through the night #im humming this morning #snowswords #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #rengoku kyojuro #rengoku #whenever Nezuko misses the sun she spends an evening wandering around and hugs Kyojuro the second she sees him #grips him a lil too hard tbh but he's a sweetheart so he just laughs and pets her hair #listen im so sad Nezuko didnt get to bond eoth Rengoku in the show. so frickin sad. they share some unlikely things in common #rengoku is a fantastic model of someone who possesses incredible strength and yet chooses gentleness as often as he can #he'd find creative ways to settle her down #idk man i just. i just. i think rengoku gets what it's like to feel so angry and so helpless at the same time #and he's found a healthy way to manage it. he converts it into care #also nezuko is a cheeky lil menace and would be the lil sister Rengoku never knew he wanted ITD BE GREAT IS ALL IM SAYING #snowfire

[vintageghoststories]

i think a hug from a friend would fix me

#wheres that post abt being sad abt past friends but actually u need tp remember they r assholes . yeah #sorry i just. ugh. i want a hug from this one person but also Fuck Him He Is A Prick but. also. god i just really want a hug from him #[<- slappig myself w/ a stick rn bc he is so so so fucking toxic and just not very nice to me and if he actually cared abt me he would talk #to me more !!! im a dumb bitch sometimes but i will not go back to him . im better then that. still doesnt not make me want a hug from him #anyways. idk today has been hard for most of us i think. #a ghost rambles

[lesbiten]

literally so excited to see my birds tomorrow

#i dont think my brother has been letting them out of the cage (which is completely fair and i dont blame him bc he. works for Most of TheDay #and sometimes they are motherfuckers about getting back into the cage but he is feeding and watering them so theyre okay) #so when i get there and let them out for the first time in a week. acacia probably wont care but i think juniper is going to Attack Me. #because he knows im the Cage Opener hes going to want me to pay for leaving him #any other time ive had to leave for a week or so and come back and let the birds out acacia has alwyas been like. Yeah Whatever #but oasis was always SO EAGER to get the fuck out of there. and i just know junipers going to be the exact same #i just would not put it past him to Actually Attack Me. i love him but he is so confident in his ability to fuck you up even though he #weighs less than a pound probably #i have been having him take precautions in case juniper flies out while hes feeding and watering them and i have a hard time believing #he hasnt tried to fly out. because hes done that to me many times already #maybe he has just been leaving the cage door open for them. idk. you would think id text him to ask but i suppose ill just find out tomorrow #simon says

[yoohyeontual]

.

#do not reblog #Puppy had another kind of seizure it was less intense but it was outside on hard ground #he got to excited to see my parents I think now I’m afraid to live the house #leave* #and he cried a lot and my dad panicked #and we told him to not do that like he did to us last Friday but he’s really affect by it but we all are but he’s still furious at us #cause we had to give him a pill and I would do what he told me to do cause the pill melted away I need another one but he wouldn’t listen #he just thought he did care about what he was saying #he need to calm the fuck down we are all stress but we can’t stress puppy by fighting for stupid shit #I’m so scared I can’t handle this but I also can’t lose my dog #i need him idk what I’ll do if I lose him #i want to see someone so bad and talk a walk but the only person I could see is my cousin and she has covid so I’m alone 😞 #alex.txt #tw sick dog #tw sick pet #tw sick animal

[arolesbianism]

Yet another beautiful day to have the Maxwel tag blocked (can't see half of the posts in the Wendy tags)

#rat rambles #starve posting #maxwell posters have lost any semblance of tolerance from me ages ago Ive yet to meet a maxwell fan who's just like a normal person #and to clarify I actually do like maxwel as I am the number one just some asshole whos in too deep enjoyer #but dear god are ppl just absolutely incapable of being normal abt this man and everyone around him #and even beyond that ppl just do not get this man like please he is indeed interesting but not because of some 'retconed redemption' #like pls we can live in a world where he is not an irridemable monster and is in fact just some guy while also still being a flawed person #like the fact that he is so deeply flawed in ways that he never actually properly adressed and challenged is the interesting thing to me #like look at me. he went through horrible shit he didnt deserve. that didnt inherently make him a better or worse person #it just made him a more miserable person #and he didnt escape because of some change of heart or character development #and afterwards he teamed up with wilson because of necessity #I do think on some level he genuinely cares abt the other survivors and he does have genuine regret for how things turned out #but again those things dont inherently mean he moved past the flaws that got him here it just means he has the ability to recognize that #shit sucks and that he wish none of it happened #its why encore is one of my favorite animations from a character perspective because it shows some juicy charlie and maxwell stuff #mainly it shows both that charlie has not forgiven his ass and is manipulating him and that maxwell is still susceptible to it #which isnt a sigh of them rolling back development it's just a sign that maxwell is easy to manipulate with the right cards #which adds up considering his past and his present very well in my opinion #this is a man whos historically always ran away from his problems and is always on the hunt for a sense of control #and charlie tapped into both that and his ever present guilt #its in fact very unsurprising and not out of place for him to fall for that sort of manipulation #and it also makes for a great set up for the inevitable betrayal from charlie as maxwell is hit by the harsh reality of his situation #and that whole situation would lead to some yummy tasty parallels when charlie inevitably gets betrayed herself (I hope) #the ways charlie and maxwel are so similar yet so different facinates me deeply I love how much charlie doesnt realize shes kinda fucked #I want her to be betrayed so hard and left in the dust with no ground to stand on I want the rug pulled out from under her feet #her composition comes from her confidence in the necessity of her actions and the moral superiority she feels over maxwell #so having her sense of superiority be revoked would make for a super fascinating dynamic as she tries to justify the situation in her head #I wanna see her siral and then maybe change her pronouns idk