#im making huge huge changes in my life and i think the next logical step would be to cut off jamie. ive already been ghosting him but thats | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beomglocks · 3 years

Text

unlikely allies ; txt x reader

part: four.1 ,,,, next chapter / previous chapter

plot: when a zombie apocalypse breaks out in your town, you’re forced to team up with a group of boys from very different social standards in your school.

genre: fluff, angst, horror i guess?, not really that scary but alright, some funny moments

w/c: 2.1k

warnings: blood, gruesome scenes (kind of really detailed), cursing, everyone hates each other, definitely some major injuries, zombies duh, everyone kinda pining for mc

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"we are going to find more people y/n. we need to make up for beomgyu," taehyun spits. beomgyu walks up to him with anger taking over his features. "im still here you know! and i'd just hate for the kang taehyun to get bit because wouldn't that just be soooo fucking tragic! news flash, everyone's dead! you're not famous!"

"stop arguing!" you pull them apart but yeonjun shoves you away from them. "why? why should stop arguing?"

"we're all gonna die anyways," soobin says casually from his spot on the ground.

taehyun rolls eyes, walking straight into the library without any hesitation. "wait-" before you can warn him you all see something that makes you freeze.

you swear you remember that kid from somewhere. his fluffy hair is covering his eyes and instead of his baggy sweater covering his frame, it has ridden up to showcase his nonexistent abdomen. the zombies have absolutely ravaged the kid's body, leaving nothing but a lone carcass. there are still zombies lurking around his body, trying to feast on whatever part of him is left.

something beside the boy's body catches your eye and you realize who he is.

"ah shit," they mumble. you snap out of glaring at yeonjun to see a boy on the floor with books scattered around him. "shit im sorry! i should've been looking at where i was going," you apologize kneeling down to help the boy pick up his books.

"oh don't worry i shouldn't have taken up carrying so many books to the point where i couldn't see!" the boy's voice is so cheerful it makes you smile. you're glad he's not mad at you.

the boy is really cute too. his boyish features suit his face well and his hair is messy but looks like he stylized it that way. he's dressed comfortably in a huge sweater and baggy jeans with a molang keychain attached to one of the belt loops.

"where are you even going with all these books?" you ask. "i offered to take these back to the library for my english teacher, in hindsight i really should've just taken two or three not the whole stack." he chuckles sheepishly. he gets back up, picking up as many as he can.

you cover your mouth, trying not to let out an audible sob. even though you didn't know the freshman too well, this boy had left an impression on you with his cheeriness. that and the fact that this is the second time you've seen someone get eaten alive.

"hueningkai?" taehyun whispers. he takes several steps forward as if he's in a trance. "taehyun wait-"

"kai??" he raises his voice more but it cracks. the zombies in close proximity of you all snap their heads up at the sound of taehyun's voice. "tae we need to get out of here right n-"

"y/n!" you hear soobin call. you turn around to see beomgyu convulsing on the floor wildly. "w-what happened?" soobin shakes his head frantically. "he might be turning." you want to cry at the sight of your friend curled up in pain. you can tell he's trying to hold back his screams as to not draw attention to the group and get you all killed.

it's too late though because the zombies that were eating kai alive are now running towards you all. "what do we do?" yeonjun cries. you don't know what to do at this point. there's absolutely no saving beomgyu, who is currently turning. you go to grab taehyun's arm to at least try to save one person from your party but the zombie at the front of the group has already pounced on him. "NO!" you yell.

even though the zombie has sunk it's teeth into taehyun's ankle, you still try to drag him away in hopes of saving him. he's kicking at its face with the tiny sliver of strength he has left after being thrown to the floor. "don't worry taehyun im not leaving you," you huff.

you don't think you've ever had this much determination for anything ever. all you know is that someone's life is on the line and if you just try hard enough they might survive.

you're suddenly pulled back by your shirt when the entire group of zombies get to taehyun's idle body. "wait!" you reach out to him but it's too late. they've already began gnawing away at him. taehyun puts up a good fight but it's no use. there are too many of them.

he lets out a string of pained screams and all you can do is close your eyes.

"we have to go! we have to go," yeonjun screams. he shakes you to get you to get up but you have already given up. not one but three of the people who you've met have died. it hurts to know that they were once alive, smiling brightly with hope and life shining in their eyes.

it's not even the fact that prior to a zombie apocalypse happening you most likely gave no shits about these people but the stakes and circumstances have changed. of course now you care because you hoped they would love to see another day.

yeonjun sucks his teeth and picks you up. it takes a bit of extra strength on his part and he knows it'll slow him down tremendously but he doesn't care. "it's gonna be ok!" he reassures. you get a better view of soobin and beomgyu when he lifts you up and it makes you want to look away.

beomgyu's arm now has discolored veins that scale all the way up to him face. his eyes are glazed over and now white colored. you can see trances of dyed tears on his face but he's too far gone. he's dead and he's a threat to you all now.

"soobin r-!" yeonjun slaps his hand over you mouth so that you don't attract the zombies on taehyun to start going after you both.

soobin tries to hold his own against the now undead beomgyu and you can't exactly tell what's going on. yeonjun leads you away from the library and you can only hear a scream from who you assume is soobin.

"where are we going we can't just leave soobin behind like that!" you try to stand and halt the both of you but yeonjun harshly pulls you along. "yes we can and we will!" he barks. "there isn't a chance in hell that we could've saved him. it's us or him!"

he shoves you into the electrical room of the school. the door was thankfully unhinged otherwise the door would've remained locked.

there's nothing but silence minus the rapid breathing coming from you both. you go through what just happened and start to burst into tears, haphazardly wiping at your face but failing when more tears come down. yeonjun sighs, letting himself fall on the floor.

he doesn't even have time to rest before he hears a pounding coming from outside the door. "y/n? y-yeonjun? l-let me in!" you look over to yeonjun who's already looking at you wide eyed. "soobin?" you mumble. you go to stand but yeonjun launches himself at you. "hell no! soobin go away!" he yells.

"please open the door! they're coming! please!" soobin pleads. you shake your head, "yeonjun we have to help him please!"

yeonjun contemplates for a little bit longer than you'd like but he suddenly stands up. he gets to the door however he doesn't open it all the way. "are you bit? there's no way you came out of that unbitten."

soobin looks around unsure of himself. he grips onto his arm tighter from what you can see and you silently hope and pray he's not bit. however yeonjun also notices his suspicious behavior. "you're not coming in," he says. he starts closing the door again but soobin shoves past him.

yeonjun runs after him and tackles him to the ground. you look back at the door and you can hear the zombies that were following soobin approaching. you make a run for it to shut the door but yeonjun yells at you. "we have to leave it open for when i throw this asshole out of here!"

"but-" you wince when yeonjun punches soobin square in the face. it doesn't seem to phase the other boy as he growls and turns the tables on yeonjun. soobin has always been a bit stronger than yeonjun so it's no surprise that especially at this moment he's overpowering the other boy.

you rack your brain trying to come up with a logical plan. though you aren't being given many options. it's either wait until yeonjun manages to throw soobin out meaning you risk the group of zombies reaching you all or you lock yourself in the electrical room with an already bitten soobin.

you bite your lip watching soobin throw as many punches as he can with an unusable arm and yeonjun blocking them as best as he can. however, soobin was steadily getting weak and you could tell as well as yeonjun. with one swift push, soobin falls back onto the ground and yeonjun punches him again for good measure.

you can't see them well in the dimly lit electrical room however with the sliver of light pouring in from the door being open you can somewhat make out yeonjun's face. soobin sure did a number on him. his nose is dripping blood and his lips are bruised and swollen. his eye is also bruised and swollen and you're not sure if he can even see from it. god, he looks miserable.

he looks up at you and spits some blood out from his mouth. "lets get him out of here," he mumbles. you watch him get off soobin but he stumbles a bit. "yeonjun please hurry i think the zombies are coming," you tell him. he groans but says nothing in response.

yeonjun picks soobin up but once he has soobin's arm around his shoulder soobin starts shuddering. "you're gonna turn soon," yeonjun mumbles. soobin chuckles in between his shaking, "you care about me all of a sudden. i thought we were sworn enemies?"

yeonjun rolls his eyes, "whatever." if this were happening at any other time you might have smiled at them. you smile sadly when the two boys reach you at the door. you lean down to soobin's hunched over state and hold his face in your hands. "im sorry," you say. he shakes his head but says nothing to you.

"t-the gun," he mumbles in pain. you can see the veins starting to crawl up his shoulder and onto his neck now. "if we shoot you then the zombies that were after you are sure to start running towards here," yeonjun frowns. "soobin i don't think any of us are willing to k-kill you," you say as a tear rolls down your face.

his head snaps backwards violently then he slumps forward. "please," he manages to croak out.

you shut the door, closing your eyes. "y/n..." yeonjun says. "we can't let him die as one of those- those things!" you shout. yeonjun sighs, putting soobin down onto the floor. "think about this, you're about to kill another living being!"

"WHAT OTHER OPTION IS THERE?" you lash out. yeonjun stands there shocked at your outburst and the expression on his face makes you cry even harder than before. "what other option is there?" you cry softly.

you both look over to soobin who's now started convulsing on the floor. unlike beomgyu, this time he doesn't hold in his blood curling screams of pain. there isn't much time left before he turns.

you tentatively take the gun from his person and hold it up to his head. his eyes open momentarily and you see the fear in them flash through. he closes them tightly once again to brace himself and a tear rolls down his face. "i-im s-sorry," you cry. even as you hold the gun to his head, you hesitate. killing someone wasn't as easy as you thought. yeonjun walks up but not before wiping a tear from his face. "cmon."

he helps you hold the gun steady but removes your finger from the trigger. "close your eyes ok?" he whispers close to your ear. you sniffle, watching soobin struggle to keep his humanity. he opens and closes his eyes and keeps flinching and convulsing in different ways. you can tell he’s really in pain and not just because of his screams.

“im sorry soobin,” you cry. “im sorry!” you close your eyes tightly, waiting for yeonjun to pull the trigger.

you hold your breath and you can feel yeonjuns on the back of your head. his is nowhere near steady and you can’t imagine how he’s feeling having to kill another human being. his breathing is shaky and unsteady.

he tightens his grip on the gun and you feel his breath stop completely.

“three,” he mutters.

you’re sobbing uncontrollably at this point, unable to say the next number so he does it for you. “two.”

“one.”

✼ •• ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ •• ✼

taglist: @fxd-skz @jinniehyunjin @bluemoonnightmare @srcasticking-main @shuichi-sama @hyunjinsicedamerican0 @groovybiscuitdiplomatpeach @cutiegyu @gyyuniverse @strykiss @minari-iii @minheesmini @cha-raena @yuto-darling @hyunjinhasmyheart @whateveryouwant90 @peachy-maia @strawberryaourt @binniebutter

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cheseyre · 4 years

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good news, sluts! my brain's no longer being completely stupid (only mostly), i've seen the new asides and...have some thought-y thot thoughts:

*deep inhale*

Okay, first things first: this art style is soooo fucking cUTE and I'm a jealous, squealing bitch. Anyone who knows who the artist is, could you link me to them, stat? I think Thomas mentioned them at the beginning of the ep, but nYeh, brain hurt, doesn't wanna do wooork-

Okay, I'll admit, I was a little...apprehensive when I first saw the thumbnail and title. Part of it's just me being a bitter Remus Stan, but also...okay, deep breaths, controversial opinion time, get ready:

I don't ship Prinxiety.

Like, at all.

I can see the appeal, and these dorks were so very, VERY cute in this particular ep, but I was honestly turned off by the ship long ago due to how overwhelmingly popular it is and how some fans characterize these two and treat this relationship as if it's the only valid one, y'know, the works—slight tangent, but that's also why I don't ship Logicality or Remile. I honestly vibe much better with ships like Roceit or Analogical, y'know?

Cutting in for another brief tangent: I'm surprisingly okay with Demus/Dukeceit/Receit/Trashnoodle/Whatever-Their-Ship-Name-Is-Oh-God-Why-Do-They-Have-So-Many-Fucking-Names; maybe it's cause they haven't actually interacted in canon and the fan content gives me such good Gay Disney Villain content, idk man im weird—).

Still, their interactions were both hilarious and sweet and like I said, I see the appeal, it's just not my cup of tea. y'all Prinxiety fans got fucking FED and I'm happy for you nerds. Enjoy ze happy boys!

I guess another factor in my...low-key hesitance when I first saw what the ep was about is that...okay, get ready, another controversial opinion, le gasp: well, I'm not a big Virgil fan. In fact, at times, he swaps places with Patton as my least favorite sides—especially with some of his recent behavior in eps like DWIT (the "prohibit your breathing comment" really triggered me, for example). Sometimes, his attitude, especially around other sides like Roman or Janus, reminds me a little too much of my sister, who I don't have...a very good relationship with. Add to that how the more...intense side of the fandom has a disturbing tendency to turn him into the 'uwu precious woobie emo baby who can do no wrong' while unnecessarily villainizing other CERTAIN sides in the process, and...I think you all see where I'm going with this little rant 😅

However, upon actually watching the ep, he wasn't...that bad? I don't think? I enjoyed watching him be a flustered, disaster-y mess and genuinely excited at the end, his interactions with Roman were nice enough, and him literally pushing Thomas to make a move with Nico despite his obvious panic attack was a nice moment of genuine character development. I like seeing that, that's the good shit right there. And him being all flustered and shit, and smiling so much at the end of the vid was just...well, adorable. This man has no fucking right to be this cute, my god

alsoooo

pURPLE EYESHADOW

PURPLE EYESHADOW HE LOOKS?? SO GOOD?? WTF?? SLAY EMO, SLAAAAAAAY FUCK, DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE TO CHANGE MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME NOW?

alsoooo

hAPPY ROMAN

YESSSSS~ MAH BOI MAH SON MAH DUMB BITCH HIMBO PRINCE MAH EXTRA MESSY CINNAMON ROLL

ITS BEEN SO LONG

AND HIS LITTLE HEART EYES THROUGHOUT THE VID, OH MY GOD-

IMMA JUST IGNORE THAT "ADDING [MISTAKE] TO THE LIST" COMMENT I AM LOOKING AWAY I DO NOT SEE IT LALALALALA

THOMATHY, SIR, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT MAKING THESE TWO GAY IDIOTS SO BAEBY

Okay, but Virgil not realizing that "cyberstalking in real life" is literally just stalking is both a big ass mood and further proof that, yes, Logan is indeed the only one holding the braincell out of this disaster of a lot. God help them all if he ducks out in the next ep.

👀

And Thomas x Trash Can is my new OTP. I dub thee ✨ "Trashmas" ✨

we sTAN TRASHMAS

Wait, does that mean Remus actually WAS in the ep? Cause, y'know, trash man?

hmmm

👀 👀

Okay, okay.

With how much Virgil and Roman were going off about Thomas constantly lying, I was (understandably) a tad bit disappointed my snek son didn't even make a fucking cameo, but y'know what? In hindsight, I'm okay with this it's fineee~

He was just off playing with shadow puppets and stealing money from us desperate, content-starved peasants with his sheer extra-ness and, honestly? Gotta respect the hustle.

Get that precious, precious coin, dapper snake! Wring us poor losers dryyyy!

*evil snek laugh*

Also, this is a breather ep and adding Janus in probably would've caused unnecessary drama with the Roceit breakup and the constant antagonism between Virgil and him. It probably would've distracted from the point of the ep (flirting with social anxiety, exactly what it says in the tin)—much like it wasn't really Virgil or Remus's place to show up during POF. Does that make sense? I think it makes sense. Sorry, brain going brr-

Still, I can't believe the "Fuck Janus Sanders" Club is actually canon now 😂

God, first Patton in a skirt and now this.

Thomas Sanders, you delight in fucking feEDING this gremlin nest of a fanbase, don’t you? You RELISH our screams of joy and pain and suffering, dON’T YOU?

What's next, actual canonical Janus and Remus interaction? Patton saying the fuck word? The Dragon Witch comes back? Janus's bowler hat gains sentience and takes over the world, Doris-style? What do you have planned, Thomas? Joan? WHAT ART THOU PLANNING, I MUST KNOW YOU HEATHENS YOU FIENDS-

And Virgil's little "would it be fair to him" comment, tho.

👀

Like, I get in the context of the ep, he was likely talking about Nico and how it wouldn’t be good for a potential relationship with Tomas to be founded on lies, but still...my anxceit heart aches, man.

Gimme that sweet, sweet angst with a side of mutual regret and possible future reconciliation and maybe something more wink wink nudge nudge on top, pls

...and fries.

Honestly, tho, that entire bathroom monologue was fucking beautiful, man. And relatable, too—i can't tell you how many times I've talked to myself in public restrooms because I just didn't know how to get the words I wanted to say out. It's...kind of embarrassing, tbh

Speaking of embarrassing, uh, crying stall guy.

Just...

Crying Stall Guy

Like, I was expecting someone to come out the bathroom stall after Thomas stopped talking, but...I honestly wasn't expecting that. God, that whole scene was so cringe worthy and fucking hilarious

Honestly, Thomas in the ep in general was a huge ass mOOD and we collective gay/bi disasters ALL related with him, and if you say you don't, you're either lying to yourself or a demon.

There is no in between

sorry I don't make the rules

Like, I get this series is literally a gay disaster talking to himself for thirty minutes or longer, but like- EMPHASIS on the 'disaster' part 😂

Like...Thomas, you're lucky you're such a goddamn bean, because GOD, I cringing so hard when he first started talking to Nico

Although, I too have apologized profusely for genuine mistakes and am a flustered bi mess around my crush sooo

😅

And god, Roman's "thirty = old man" jokes made me feel old...and I literally just turned twenty, like, come on, man!

Maybe that's because I was literally watching this ep after finishing my ACT and had been sitting with a bunch of high schoolers, with their tiny fucking desks and tiny fucking water fountains smeh

*clears throat*

Anyways, uh, we STAN Nico Pintrovert Florés in this house

He gives me such big Carlos from WTNV vibes for some reason and this makes me sooo happy

and YESS, he's a WRITER

And he's??? So sweet?? A pure bean?? Just sits on his laptop at the mall food court all day, like a god-fucking iCON?? A Nightmare Before Christmas fan?? weARS GLASSES??

my hEART

*cries*

The fandom seems torn between "Nicomas" and "Karrot Kings" as a ship name atm—personally speaking, I'm casting my vote for the latter

*crosses fingers* please dont be another janus x remus multiple ship name issue guys, please please please I can't keep track of them all-

*clears throat*

On that note, I'm guess I'm gonna go try and whoo over my crush with carrots now. If THIS disaster can do it and make it actually fucking work, god damnit, so cAN I

Meanwhile, in hell, my brain's just screaming "CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST-"

God, I hope Nico isn't just a one-shot character, he's too pure and Thomas and him are adorable gay Disney fans and I stan

Oh, I wonder how the other sides'll react to him.

Wait.

Oh god.

This ep just unleashed a new fresh hell of potential Nico x Sides ships, hasn't it?

Welp, time to prepare for ze incoming flood of fanfics, I guess. I'll get my umbrella and rain boots.

That last shot of Virgil during the endcard was so fucking ominous oh my god mom im scared can you come pick me up-

Goddammit, Thomas and Joan, I'm NOT fucking ready to be traumatized again, fUCK

I wish I wasn't a broke ass university student so I could contribute to Thomas's gloriously extra Patreon—both so I can support my favorite content creators who make this amazing blessed content and also, to join my boi Janus in fucking destroying society by giving money to the people who actually deserve it, fuck YOU GOVERNMENT-

Okay.

New headcanon time as to why Patton, Remus, and Logan weren't in the ep: they were helping Jan film that Patreon promotional video.

Remus directed it, Logan helped with the lighting and script, and Patton was just there as the cheerleader.

The reason Janus made a dog with shadow puppets wasn't just to flaunt his deity status and prove how he is truly above us mere wretched mortals

despite that being the absolute truth and we all know it, don't lie to yourselves

No, it was really him trying to do something cute and silly for Patton, because Moceit rights, daMMIT

*inhales*

noww

guys, gals, and nonbinary pals

it’s time forr

the most wonderful time of the yearrr

WAITING FOR THE NEXT EPISODE

Step right up, folks! Hear ye, hear ye, my prediction for the next episode: Prinxiety v. Moceit! With special guest stars: Karrot Kings vibing in adorable gay and Intrulogical, bitter at being excluded aGAIN

Who will win? Who will lose?

here’s a hint: we all will because in this sick twisted game they are no winners only losers-

Place your bets, folks! ✨

Haha im not readyyy~

tl;dr

this episode has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and ended my suffering—an adorable calm before the... angsty fucking shitstorm that’s coming far too soon. Prinxiety stans, enjoy your food. Place an 'F' in the chat for me and my fellow grieving Remus stans. Trashmas is the true OTP, but Karrot Kings is cute too I guess. I've only had Nico Florés for 24 minutes, but if anything happens to him, I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself. Purple eyeshadow Virgil makes me question my sexuality aGAIN, and happy gay disney prince rights y'all. Say a big ole 'fuck you' to capitalism by giving your local dapper snake moneys. Concussion makes brain go brr and imma go buy some carrots and be gay now.

psst hey @quarantinevibes2020 you wanna join me in being disaster-y? i’ll bring my best gay stare and you bring the wine

Until next time, my lovelies! ~ Ches 🖤

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jamieaiken919 · 4 years

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hi im the NiDe anon- probably primis but I’m not picky 🥺 I’ll literally take anything this ship is nonexistent

HELLO HI I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO GODDAMN LONG TO FIGURE OUT I PROMISE I DIDNT FORGET ABOUT YOU

So for today’s extremely long winded Thought From a Thot- I started out not sure what to do for Tank/Nikolai, but then it grew a mind of its own and HERE HAVE A WHOLE ASS BACKSTORY. There are some headcanons in here, but they’re kind of mixed throughout, lol. I’m so sorry if all this isn’t exactly what you were looking for, but I really hope you like it!!! (Also- I typed this all up in the notes app on my phone, but for shits and giggles I threw this into a document to see how long it actually is- OVER 1300 WORDS)

Also also for some god forsaken reason I can’t figure out how to put this behind a cut on this stupid app SO HERES THE LONG HAUL

So, let’s start by looking at the boys themselves-

Nikolai, very obviously and very understandably, is an incredibly damaged man. We know that he never fully recovered from the loss of his wife, and that his devotion to her never faltered, even after she was gone. I think that after her death, he likely would have tried to shut out any kind of romantic feelings that cropped up. Logical or not, he feels as if it’s somehow disrespectful to her and to her memory.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, we know that Tank is a little bit of a womanizer. He typically would only seek out one night stands, rather than anything meaningful or long lasting. It’s just the life of a Marine, he tells himself- you can’t settle down if you’ve got no place to settle, and it’s easier to just not get attached, especially when it presents the chance that he would have to leave and potentially never see them again.

Once the two meet, Tank takes notice of Nikolai’s sadness immediately. “Why’re you so sad, Nikolai? Even when I hear you yelling in the heat of battle, I can’t help feeling there’s something wrong.” Nikolai initially brushes him off, intent on keeping his past to himself and himself alone. But as the group gets stuck with each other, and as they all get to know each other, he decides that Tank is someone he can trust with telling about the things he’s suffered in his life. And surprisingly enough to him, Tank actually sits and listens. That’s when he gains an immediate respect for him.

Nikolai catches feelings first. It’s on a night where he volunteers to stay up for watch- normally the four of them take turns, but that night was one where he knew he likely wouldn’t be able to sleep in the first place. As he’s sitting at the edge of their encampment, wherever they may be, he hears something approach him. But he knows the gait of his ally, and isn’t surprised in the slightest when Tank sits down next to him. They share a friendly conversation- talking about how Takeo absolutely shredded a hoard with nothing but his katana, about their mutual distrust of the voices in Edward’s head, etc- until Nikolai feels a weight against his side. He looks over to see Tank, passed the hell out and leaning with his head on his shoulder, and immediately Nikolai’s brain starts going “oh god oh fuck what is this why feels happen WHAT”. It’s a feeling he hasn’t experienced in so long that at first he thinks he’s going mad, but then he remembers exactly how it felt when he married his wife. That rush of the heart, the wild emotions, feelings that he thought he had locked away and buried all come rushing back to him.

It’s another few days before Tank actually realizes that something’s changed in their dynamic. No one would ever accuse Tank of being a genius, but once he pays attention he’s actually quite observant. Which is why, when he sees Nikolai being particularly short with the others (more than usual, anyway), when he catches him watching out for him more than the others, when he notices the little glances that Nikolai throws his way when he thinks he can’t see, he finally puts two and two together. He’s seen enough soldiers writing letters home to their girls with that exact same look on their faces to know exactly what it means.

It’s another night when Nikolai takes the night watch that things end up happening between them. Nikolai is out stewing in his thoughts, as is his wont, when he hears that familiar gait behind him again. Tank asks him straight up if there’s anything he wants to tell him, and at first Nikolai refuses. It’s only when Tank sits down directly in front of him- where Nikolai can’t avoid looking at him- that Nikolai finally just spits it out. That somewhere along the line the camaraderie and friendship that formed between them has morphed into him feeling something deeper, something that he never thought he would feel again or allow himself to feel again, that he thinks himself a fool because there’s no room for love in a time and place like the one they’re in-

And Tank shuts him up by grabbing him and kissing him.

Nikolai is so surprised by it that he’s still trying to talk for a few seconds before he realizes exactly what’s happening. He’s so dumbfounded that he just kind of sits there and let’s it happen, before Tank pulls away and makes some kind of witty quip. “Now that I know how to shut ya up, I’ll have to do it more often.” Tank isn’t insensitive though; he knows how much Nikolai has struggled and he knows just how strong his feelings have to be in order for him to even admit to them. So he reassures him that he’s open to whatever happens, and that he’ll never do anything to hurt his heart more than its already been hurt. It’s a step forward for Tank as well- mister non-commitment actually committing to someone, but he’s willing to give it a shot. After all, what more do they have if not each other?

At first they keep things quiet, which is both relatively easy and extremely difficult. Much of their time is taken up by fighting the undead, so they’re able to keep themselves occupied with that and not with each other. It’s moments when things are calm that give them trouble. It’s difficult to find anyplace that offers some semblance of solitude, especially when the group has to stick together for protection purposes. It’s typically when one of them has their turn as watch during the night that they’re able to sneak off and discover their new relationship. Edward and Takeo are none the wiser, until one of them (probably Takeo) happens to get up in the night. He’s up stretching his legs when he happens to spot the couple, and he only has to watch them for a brief moment before he realizes what’s going on between them. Despite that knowledge, he respects their privacy, keeping it to himself until they’re ready to be open about it with himself and Edward. poor Eddie always left in the dark lol

I imagine they’d be forced to be open about it when Tank does something particularly reckless and stupid one day, and Nikolai panics just a bit more than a friend would. Tank insists to him that he’s fine, but Nikolai rushes over and wraps him in the tightest hug he can, mumbling something about how he never wants to see him act so carelessly again. Both Edward and Takeo are stunned at seeing the display of affection so clearly, even though Takeo already knew. There’s definitely a conversation that takes place between the four of them later that night, lol. But now that things are out in the open, they can be a little more free with each other, something that takes a huge weight off both of them.

Tank is usually the one to initiate any kind of physical affection, whether it be holding hands, kisses, or going further. It’s not that Nikolai doesn’t want to- he does- but he’s still unsure of himself, especially being with another man when all he knew was his wife. Tank is very patient with him, because he understands the uncertainty that Nikolai is feeling. He always reassures him that he wants him, and that he’ll give him as much time as he needs to be fully comfortable. And eventually Nikolai does ease, and they’re able to show affection freely back and forth.

Tank always used to comment on how morose Nikolai was, but now that they’re together, he notices smiles coming to the Russian’s face more and more. And it’s something he loves to see.

#anonymous #asks #answers #thought from a thot #tank dempsey #nikolai belinski #call of duty zombies #cod zombies #codz

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angelic-holland · 4 years

Text

TMO Alternative Epilogue

“Love, that is the only thing that can occupy and fill eternity. In the infinite, the inexhaustible is requisite.” - Victor Hugo

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: mild angst but also plenty of fluff and a few doubts

Summary: You and Harrison create a life together.

A/N: thank you all for the love on this series, can’t wait to hear your reactions!! this series meant a lot to me and I put a lot of work into it psychologically and all, im geniunely super proud of the story as a whole even though it ended up ending very different than how I originally intended! <3

The Birth

***

“There you go darling! Squeeze my hand as hard as you need to,” Harrison murmurs, pushing hair out of your eyes.

“Haz, I-, ow! This baby wants to kill me,” you cry, afraid you might break his hand as you squeeze it.

Your doctor, the one you met with the moment you arrived in Boston 5 months ago, Dr. Glenn, is encouraging you, telling you she sees the head.

You can hear the baby’s cries and the sound brings tears to your eyes, happy tears.

“Almost there, excellent work Adeline,” Dr. Glenn praises you, and all of a sudden a huge weight lifts off your shoulders as you give birth.

Harrison kisses your cheek as you let go of his hand, “Can I see him?” you ask, wiping the tears from your eyes as you watch Dr. Glenn clean your baby off and wrap him in a blue blanket.

“Happy, healthy, this little guy looks great,” Dr. Glenn helps position your child in your arms and you swallow down a sob, because he has Tom’s nose. And Tom is-

“Have you decided on a name yet?” one of the nurses asks as your baby coos and cries in your arms.

“I uh, I was thinking Phillip, Phil for short, like your mom,” you looked anxiously up at Harrison, hoping he liked the idea.

His face lit up brighter than Christmas tree and you felt your heart fill with warmth as he nods.

“Hey there Phillip, you’ve got the best mommy in the entire world,” Harrison smiles, reaching his hand out to rest on your shoulder.

***

8 Months Old

“No! I, I don’t deserve to be his mother!” you shout, sitting down on the couch as Harrison paces the room.

“When are you going to- Y/N, I thought we got through this! I thought you- when you left to go back with Tom-,”

“Don’t say his name.”

“When you left with him all that time ago, you were better! You were happy! I thought you were ready to be a mom! With me,” Harrison stops, turning toward you. Pleading with wide blue eyes, begging you to see you the way he sees you.

“I-,”

“I mean, what could have happened in four days that changed that? Is this because you-,”

“I killed him! Harrison, I killed the father of my child and now-,”

“Harrison! Y/N! Come quick!” Ian shouts from the kitchen and both of your eyes nearly bug out of your skulls, terrified something happened to Phillip.

By the time you and Harrison make it to the kitchen, Ian is sitting up against the fridge, clapping excitedly with a huge smile on his face.

“Where’s Phillip? Is something wrong?” You ask, looking around for your son when you hear him babbling from behind the center island.

You watch him, gasping as he struggles to stand on two feet, clapping his chubby hands together.

“Mama!” He cries out, your mouth falling open in awe.

“Phillip, oh my goodness, look at you!” You praise, kneeling down on the floor next to Ian, opening your arms to encourage him to keep moving.

“His first steps, look at him, practically running already,” Harrison chuckles, sitting next to you, the fight from earlier practically forgotten about.

“Come to mama,” you encourage, smiling widely as Phillip’s feet start to move faster, wanting to be wrapped in your arms.

“Da-da!” Phillip shouts instead, falling right onto Harrison’s lap.

His hand curls around Harrison’s thumb, snuggling against his chest as you brush a dark brown curl behind Phillip’s ear.

“Always knew he’d be a daddy’s boy,” you chuckle, “he did say your name first.”

“No! He was laughing, his speech slurred a little, that’s why it sounded like Haz, but his first word was loud and clear, mama, he loves his mama,” Harrison says, kissing your cheek.

As if to echo his words, Phillip wordlessly crawled from Harrison’s lap to yours, snuggling against your stomach as you hold him close. You could get used to this, you definitely could get used to this.

***

3 Years Old

“We need our own place,” Harrison reasons, “it isn’t safe to raise Phillip here. Bless Ian and the rest of the guys for helping us out these past few years, but I want to keep him away from the mob, from danger.”

“This place is like a built in babysitter though, there’s always someone here to help look after him when we want to go on a date night or we’re both working…”

“Well, that’s what babysitters are for, and besides, you’re almost never away from him for more than a few hours at a time. I found a beautiful townhouse for rent in the North End. Three bedrooms, two floors, even has a small backyard. Don’t you think Phillip would love to run around and play in a backyard someday?”

You nod, resting your head on Harrison’s chest as you think it through. Logically, there was no reason that you shouldn’t move into your own space. Sometimes the men got too excited during meetings, shouting and cheering when Phillip was trying to sleep. Plus, sharing a room with Harrison and your ever growing son is getting exhausting.

“Three bedrooms,” you muse, smiling at the idea of Phillip having a younger sibling to run around with.

“Yeah, you know, our room, Phillip’s room…” Harrison’s sentence tapers off so you can fill in the blank.

“Maybe a little brother or sister for him?” You smile, gently kissing Harrison’s jaw.

“Really?” Harrison sounds like a kid in a candy shop as you trail your lips along his jaw and down his neck.

“Really, I was an only child, it sucked, so Phillip deserves more than that,” You close your eyes and imagine having another kid, a kid of Harrison’s, a kid of yours.

“I would love for Phillip to have a little brother or sister,” Harrison sighs as you straddle his hips, “maybe both.”

“Oh no, we do not want a 19 kids and counting situation, mister,” you giggle as his hands curl around your sides.

“Who said 19? I just want three, darling, three cute little kids to run around and play with.”

“You’re a great dad, you know that, right?” You smile, tracing your finger along the curve of his nose.

“And you, Y/N, are the best mom Phillip could ever ask for.”

As if on cue, just to interrupt your moment, Phillip wakes up, “mama? Daddy?”

“Maybe we can make those babies when we have a room of our own,” you laugh, getting up out of your bed.

“Great plan,” Harrison sighs, watching you pick Phillip up to bring him to cuddle. He couldn’t imagine his life happening any differently. And neither could you.

***

4 Years Old

You just got Phillip to sleep in his new bedroom and you’re exhausted after moving into the new townhouse all day.

You all but collapse on your new bed next to Harrison, “finally got our little boy down,” you curl up with your head on Harrison’s chest.

“Are you talking about Phillip or me?” Harrison chuckles, his eyelids drooping.

“Hmmm both, but I have to ask you something, need to ask something of you.”

“Anything,” Harrison says, suddenly wide awake as you tap your fingers against his chest.

“If they finally catch up to me, if the FBI come snooping around asking you questions…”

Harrison’s breathing stops for a moment as his arm tightens around your side, “they haven’t in almost five years…”

“If they do,” you continue, “if they do, I need you to promise to kill me, to take me out, I-,”

Harrison sits up immediately, pulling you up with him, “no, absolutely not. Your case is cold, there’s been no activity on it according to my sources on the inside, we’re fine, you’re fine,” he sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more than you.

“Harrison,” you turn, cupping his cheeks, “it’s a precaution, me asking you this. But I have some leftover needles from back in the day, they’re locked away in the safe. If, and it’s a huge if, if something happens to me and they’re seconds away from catching me, then you use that needle on me. Simple jab to my neck.”

“Why would I- you know I could never kill you-,”

“Don’t think of it as killing me, okay?”

“How would it not be-,”

You press your forehead to his, forcing his eyes to meet yours, “it would be saving our child from the horror of finding out his mother is a-, was a serial killer, he can’t know that I- that I used to kill people. So you would have to kill me.”

“I can’t-,”

“Harrison,” your voice is final and you don’t give him a chance to speak, “babe, I- I wouldn’t ask this of you if I wasn’t thinking of Phillip, of our kid, of his future. It may never come up, you might be right, maybe the FBI has forgotten about the Scooby gang,” you shake your head, “but if they haven’t, please don’t hesitate to make sure Phillip has the best life possible, please take care of our baby.”

Tears well in his eyes as he kisses you slowly, “for Phillip,” he says through gritted teeth.

You nod, kissing him again, “for Phillip.”

***

5 Years Old

“Hey, Phillip, wave for daddy!” You laugh, holding onto Phillip’s arms in the wading pool.

Harrison was kneeling at the edge, video taping you and Phillip, his introduction to the public wade pool in Boston Common. It’s a hot day, probably in the mid 80’s and humid as hell. Your baby bump is peeking through your T-shirt, due in October.

Phillip waves, “hi dad!”

You wave as well before Phillip jumps in your arms, resting his head on your stomach.

“I think I can hear her, she’s my little sister, right? Can we name her Matilda?” Phillip giggles. He’s recently been on a Matilda binge, watching the movie over and over again when you and Harrison allow it.

“Matilda?” You giggle, feeling her kick once again, Phillip backing away with wide eyes.

“Was that her?” He squeals, reaching up on his tiptoes to press his hand against your stomach.

“That was, that’s your little sister,” you grin, resting your hand over his smaller one, feeling her little feet pressing right against your belly.

“Matilda?” He looks up at you with wide eyes, dark brown eyes that remind you of Tom’s.

“Why do you want her to be named Matilda, sweetie?” You smile, crouching down to tickle him slightly.

“Because mama! If she’s Matilda, she can use her super magic powers, and steal me cookies from the jar above the fridge before dinner!”

“Oh, so you just want a little sister so she can be your little cookie stealer?” You joke, picking Phillip up and resting him against your hip.

“Noooo,” Phillip insists, “I want a little sister because I know I would be the best big brother!”

“Alright, well since Matilda isn’t born yet and can’t steal cookies for you, how does a snow cone sound?”

“Yay! Snowcone! Come on mommy!” Phillip tugs at the sleeve of your shirt as you meet Harrison at the edge of the pool.

“How was it in there bud?” Harrison asks, draping a towel over your shoulders and kissing your cheek.

“My turn,” Phillip giggles before kissing your other cheek.

“Alright boys, there are plenty cheek kisses to go around, but I heard a little guy would like a snowcone,” you smile as Phillip rests his head on your shoulder.

Once you get to the stand, you squeeze your eyes shut when the sickly sweet smell of cherries hits your nose.

You’re not a kid. You’re not in your parent’s station wagon waiting for them to come out of their friends house, the now sour taste of a cherry ice pop lingering on your lips.

“Mommy! Open your eyes silly!” Phillip laughs, tugging at your shirt sleeve.

Harrison gently squeezes your hip, mildly concerned at the glazed over look in your eye.

“what flavor do you want bubs?”

“Could I get blue raspberry?” Phillip asks, “pleaseeee.”

“Of course, nice job using your manners, bubs.”

By the time you get Phillip home for his nap and the blue raspberry snowcone stain cleaned off his chin, you’re exhausted.

“C’mere, lemme give you a little massage,” Harrison says, patting the bed in front of him.

“What would I do without you?” You smile, stripping off your shirt and sitting in front of him, your hand resting on your baby bump.

“Well, you’ll never have to find out. Hey, do you think our baby, who Phil has very aptly named Matilda will have my eyes?”

You think for a moment, “I mean, I hope so, you have very beautiful eyes.”

Harrison’s hands start massaging your shoulders, “Do we tell Phillip?”

You raise an eyebrow, unsure of what he means, “tell Phillip what? That we aren’t naming our daughter Matilda?”

“Hey! Why not? Matilda is a cute name,” Harrison brushes your hair off your neck, pressing his lips to your skin.

“Okay, maybe we can call her Matilda, I feel like we have to get a good look at her first, like, what if she doesn’t look like a Matilda?”

“How do you mean?” Harrison asks, running his arms down your own, intertwining your hands together as he rests his chin on your shoulder.

“You know, I look like a Y/N, and an Adeline if I want to,” you laugh, “you look like a Harrison, Phillip looks like a Phillip. Was that what you were thinking of telling him?’’

“No, I was wondering if we should tell Phillip about his dad…”

You and Harrison haven’t talked about Tom, almost ever. From the day you came back to Boston and damn near collapsed in his arms.

“I- Harrison,” you smile weakly as he hugs you, “I took care of the things I needed to in Idaho.”

“Are you okay? What happened to-,”

“I’m fine,” you choke back a sob, “he’s dead.”

They seem like very contradictory statements.

You killed Tom. You killed him because the FBI was seconds away from catching both of you. In your mind, the only way he could- the only way either of you could escape the police was death.

When you first made the decision to kill Tom along with the rest of the men from your safe house away from home five months ago, you didn’t expect to be pregnant. When you fell in love with Tom Holland and you still had it set in your mind that you’d kill him, you figured you’d put yourself out of your misery shortly after. But if your life taught you anything, you had to clean up your messes. What happened between Tom and you was a mess, no doubt about it. And if you wanted to give your kid a life, more of a life than being known as the kid born from two serial killer, you had to stick with your original plan, no matter how horrible it made you feel. You couldn’t leave your baby parentless, and you certainly couldn’t kill him just because you wanted to die.

You turn around on the bed, cupping Harrison’s cheeks in your hands, “you, for all intents and purposes, have been Phillip’s dad since I found out I was pregnant.”

“I love you,” Harrison sighs, “I love Phillip, and I love Matilda or Julia or Elaina, whatever our baby’s name will be, I love our little family.”

“I love you too,” you smile, kissing him gently, “Thank you for being my sunshine.”

Harrison chuckles as he lays back, pulling you right down with him, your head resting on his chest as he curls the sun necklace in his palm.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” he begins to sing, nudging you to sing along with him.

“You make me happy, when skies are grey,” you sing along, smiling as he kisses the top of your head.

“You know, this song puts Phillip to sleep, just like it puts you to sleep,” Harrison smiles, reminiscing on all the times you’ve sung to Phillip with him and ended up almost drooling on his shoulder.

You’ve fallen asleep again, snoring lightly on Harrison’s chest as he rubs your shoulder and kisses the top of your head again.

“Goodnight darling, don’t forget that you’re my sunshine,” Harrison closes his eyes, quickly falling asleep with you.

***

8 Years Old

“Hey! We need to write Santa a letter!” Phillip jumps up, running around with his toy airplane, plopping down next to you.

“Is that so?” You grin, turning to wiggle an eyebrow at Harrison.

“Yes! Because he got Mattie the doll she wanted! And I got my airplane!”

Harrison holds Matilda close to him, snuggling her into his chest as she giggles and squeezes her plush doll.

“That’s very nice of you Phillip, why don’t we write the letter tomorrow?” You smile, picking up your mug of eggnog right as his foot collided with it, nearly knocking it over.

Suddenly you’re a little kid again, sitting through Christmas with parents who weren’t actually present as you accidentally knocked over your mom’s cup of coffee.

“When you make a mess you have to clean it up!”

“Y/N…”

And it’s not your dad’s biting voice and it’s not your mom’s was withdrawn one.

It’s Harrison and your parents are nowhere in sight, your stomach isn’t covered in coffee and you aren’t getting sent up to your room to spend Christmas alone.

You blink your eyes open and ruffle Phillip’s hair that looks all too much like his dad’s, grounding yourself in reality.

“Merry Christmas,” you smile at him, looking back to Harrison and nodding, a silent gesture that you’re okay.

“Nice save, darling,” Harrison chuckles, watching Matilda reach her arm out and make grabby hands at you.

“Want to come to mama?” You ask, holding your arms out.

“Mama,” Matilda giggles, tossing her doll to the side and crawling out of Harrison’s lap.

She walks over to you, stumbling a few times but ultimately climbing into your lap to snuggle into your body.

Last night Harrison and you exchanged gifts. For a while you’ve just been each other’s partners, that’s how you introduced yourself to Phillip’s friends parents at school and to the parents at Matilda’s play group.

“I got you something,” Harrison says, handing you a small bag as you settle into bed next to him.

You look at the red shiny material of the bag and smile, “thought you said we weren’t going to exchange gifts.”

He shrugs, slinging an arm around your shoulder, “I know but I saw this in the store the other day and couldn’t resist.”

“Well good because I got you something too, it might be stupid so like tell me and I’ll get you something else,” you sigh, turning your grab your small box off the nightstand. You had it specially made in a jewelry shop in the North End, you came across the idea one day while out walking with Matilda, she would tug on your sunshine necklace and remind you of all that time ago when Harrison bought it for you.

You hand him the ring box, resting your head on his shoulder, snuggling into the warmth of his white T-shirt.

“Oh my god,” Harrison chuckles, “open yours too.”

You open up the bag, pulling out a similar ring box.

“You didn’t, Haz…” you break into a huge grin, opening your box as he opens his.

You bought him a ring, in the center was a golden sun.

“You’re my sunshine,” you choke out, catching the glimmering diamond inside your box.

“I know you said we can’t get married, that we can’t legally be husband and wife but I feel, I know that we’re basically husband and wife and we’ve got two lovely kids and, wow I just am obsessed with the idea of calling you my wife.”

You smile through tears as he helps you put the diamond ring on your finger, “I like the idea of calling you hubby I guess.”

“Alright! Family picture! Squish together and I’ll try to get a timer on the camera,” Harrison sets his Polaroid on the fireplace, turning the self timer on for 10 seconds. He jogs over to you, kneeling behind you as Matilda claps her hands.

The camera clicks and you’re positive none of you are looking at it, but you’re going to cherish the photo. Phillip is sticking his tongue out and trying to do bunny ears with his fingers behind Matilda’s head. Matilda is half-turned to you, giggling with her eyes crinkled, she does, in fact, have Harrison’s eyes. Harrison and you are grinning as he rests a gentle hand on your shoulder. You’re a little mismatched family but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

***

Taglist: @gioandreolli @honeymoonparker @itsjusttor @averyfosterthoughts @worldoftom @angelhaz11 @rebekkah4766 @murdermornings

#harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield imagine #harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield x y/n #take me out

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knifenymph · 4 years

Text

first off, okay WOW. i dont purchase readings often because i typically depend on myself for guidance but the readings i just received.... knocked my SOCKS off. BEYOOOND INCREDIBLE! thank you @psychic-logician SO MUCH for this reading, im going to leave a review under the cut because i know its going to be lengthy. but.... i am beyond amazed. thank you so so much. 100000% recommend and i hope to see increased prices soon hehe 💗

so i requested a general energy reading and a mystic reading. the only constructive piece of criticism i would give is to break the long paragraphs into smaller sections so it’s easier to read!

energy reading review:

but they started out by feeling called to look towards my career and life purpose – two topics that have been HEAVY on my mind over the past two weeks; heavier than anything else. they said that in the past, i've felt very lost and that is 1000% true. i only just recently found myself in the past three n a half years through spirituality which was able to give me that passion and authentic drive to follow. they also said that i feel lost presently as well, which is also true. ive been doing my best to find my direction again and i know im achieving it.

the first thing that stood out to me was how they described deep friendships and relationships being apart of my vision of stability, but me realizing that i need to let go of the fears that i wont have those things and trust that theyll come to... this is huge. i just made a major change in my life plans to move to costa rica rather than spain because i realized i was making that decision based in the fear that i wouldnt find friends that would love me like i was loved in spain. which is definitely not true.

they then explained one of the visions they received where they saw a moth flying through the woods at night – interpreting it as trusting your instincts and intuitions – how you feel – rather than what the ‘logical’ choice may be. logically, i should go back to spain where i already have a foundation. but in my heart, i feel called to latin america and that tropical life style. and ive been struggling with this dissonance and resistance a lot over the past week. so this message was MUCH needed.

"I feel like you may have already done a lot of shadow work naturally and this is like the last little step to go before you feel deeply liberated from more earthly concerns–” this observation is VERY true. shadow work is something i pride myself in doing the work for, and i believe that reconnecting with my latina side through travel is the next step in my spiritual path. being surrounded with nature and feeling connected and immersed on all levels. i know that by following my passions, i will always be led to peace and fulfillment. the message to “see through your own eyes again” is also HEAVILY resonant because i feel like im finally starting to do that again.

then..... they explained a vision they receive regarding “a deep ocean and lots of shark teeth”...... one of the reasons i want to move to costa rica is for the connection i have to the ocean. CR is also known for their shark population. is there any greater sign?

the cards that were pulled for me (experiencing the nine of cups, emotionally like the ten of cups, and embodying the ten of pentacles) were INCREDIBLE. definitely the affirmation i needed. the message that ill feel “super stable but still bounce around a do a couple things” means a lot to me as well because ive felt apprehensive about settling down in one place for a long time.

and then..... “pursuing spiritual business more like ... doing readings [and] teaching others” i could cry! i have been talking about pursuing a more spiritual business SO much over the past week with so many of my loved ones, and even on here! thats been something ive heavily been considering only just within the last week so to have it show up in a reading.. WOW.

mystic reading review:

i am HIGHLY empathic and they hit the nail right on the head when they said “it just may be tiresome, but i feel like you know this, are introspective, and have it under control.” ive been aware of it for three years now and have figured out how to manage it pretty well i think! still ups and downs but im Functioning now lol

and then they said that they feel i may be a really gifted artist..... i ADORE creating. this is one of my rawest passions so it makes me SO happy for it to come through in a reading - a validation that this really is my true passion and purpose! ive tapped into doing intuitive paintings for commissions in the past, like was suggested, but i definitely need to explore it more!

the last part of the reading was about spirit work. i used to be HEAVILY into spiritwork three years ago, but have lost a bit of touch with it! im now coming back into my practice with it, so this is another needed affirmation. ive always wanted to explore ancestral work so the message that i “communicate with them more than [i] think” means a whole lot to me.

cooking as a means of further connecting with my ancestors is VERY powerful! i know i love cooking, but knowing that its even more deeply spiritual than i was seeing it gives a whole new layer to it! makes it so much more ritualistic for me.

the reading ended by saying that i “radiate peace and harmony and have a really authentic heart” which means so, so much to me. everything i stand for is to be the embodiment of a sanctuary for those who need it.

OVERALL, thank you SOOO much. this reading was absolutely divine and i can’t wait to receive more in the future 💗 thank you, thank you, thank you! much love 💗💗💗

#op #my readings #like WOW #my reviews

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enragedbees · 5 years

Text

Does He Make You Happy?

Updates Saturdays 6pm EST!

Pairing: Logicality, side Prinxiety

Summary: Logan thinks back to a happy memory with Patton. Logan has a revelation.

Warnings: mild anxiety, swearing (Im pretty sure it was just the one time) (If I missed anything, please let me know!)

Words: 2173

Song rec: Fast Car by Tracy Chapman

A huge thanks to the marvelous @thenewlarislynn for being my beta reader!!

Taglist: @xxpeach-bobaxx @starwarsdestroyedme @faded-paper-colours @nafsbluebery @cass-isdumb @fall-sunflowers @darkstrange-son @xionbean

I love reading your comments! Please let me know what you think! :)

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Chapter 4: A Feeling That I Belonged

“Are you nervous?”

Logan squeezed the hand laced in his. “Nope.” He looked straight ahead, unsuccessfully concealing a waver in his voice.

Patton smiled and squeezed back. “You’ve got nothing to worry about, you know.”

“I know.”

Logan watched Patton take a breath next to him. The sun had gone down, the night wind blew straight through his jacket. The light above them bathed the porch in soft gold, illuminating the faded bricks of the house.

Patton inhaled. “You ready?”

Logan’s stomach twisted. “Yeah.” He turned to Patton. “Are you?”

Patton smiled softly. He rubbed his thumb over Logan’s forefinger. “No, I don’t think so. Not yet.”

The corners of Logan’s mouth turned up. He took a deep breath, hearing Virgil’s voice in his head. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. Four, seven, eight. Four, seven, eight.

Logan turned back to Patton and nodded. Patton reached out and opened the front door, leading Logan in behind him.

As they walked through the foyer straight into the kitchen, Logan breathed in the smell of garlic and frying plantains. Patton never let go of his hand, and Logan already felt more at ease.

A tall man stood at the kitchen sink washing dishes while a woman cooked at the stove. Logan was astonished at how much she looked like Patton. She turned and broke into a smile.

“Hey, Mami.” Patton grinned and stepped towards her, enveloping her in a hug.

“Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Rojas,” Logan said, smiling politely.

“Oh please, no need for formalities.” She reached out and hugged him as well, to Logan’s surprise. “It’s Mia and Diego.”

Diego shook his hand, beaming. “Logan, right?”

Logan nodded. “Pleased to meet you.”

The conversation continued with polite small talk, and Logan started to relax. He knew he was good with people, he knew it was illogical to be nervous about meeting Patton’s parents. And when he found himself starting to panic, Patton always seemed to notice and calmed him down by grabbing his hand or laying a palm on his arm.

They sat down to eat, and Logan could feel all three sets of eyes inconspicuously on him. He knew they were attempting to secretly gauge his reaction to the food. Luckily, he didn’t have to pretend to enjoy it. Logan expressed his admiration and gratitude and the Rojases glanced at each other, concealing a smile.

Somehow, as it always seemed to do, Logan found the conversation shifting to the topic that never ceased to come up.

Patton mentioned, in passing, being thankful for the support his parents had given him, and Logan by proxy. And suddenly, Logan was once again talking about his past.

“What about your parents, Logan?” asked Mia. “I hope you were given the support you needed.”

Logan nodded. “My mother was always very supportive.”

Diego raised his eyebrow. “Not your father?”

Patton jumped in. “Papi, I don’t think -”

Logan slid his hand into Patton’s under the table and squeezed. It’s okay. It would have come out naturally at some point anyway.

“I came out to my parents when I was twelve,” Logan said. “My mom was the religious one, so I assumed my father would have a better reaction. He didn’t. He probably would have kicked me out, but my mom wouldn’t let him. So he left.”

The Rojases nodded. Patton rubbed his thumb over Logan’s finger and glanced over, eyes full of concern and support.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” said Mia. Logan appreciated the lack of pity they gave him. The aw, you poor baby routine was grating. Logan always felt invalidated, as if since it was fresh information for everyone else, he was supposed to let everyone else get comfortable before he was allowed to be over it. Yes, something unpleasant had happened to Logan. But he lived, and he had grown up. And that was what he found valuable.

“I hope you know that you’ll always have a place here, Logan.” Diego offered a warm smile, and Mia nodded. Logan couldn’t help the corners of his mouth going up as well, and Patton squeezed his hand.

“They liked you,” Patton said that night, smiling and climbing into bed beside Logan.

Logan sighed, and set down the book he had been trying to focus on for a few minutes. “Are you sure?”

“Of course!” Patton laughed. “My parents don’t have high standards for me. You clearly liked my mother’s mofongo, which is pretty much where the bar is for being welcomed into the family.” He leaned on his elbow and looked at Logan earnestly.

Logan rolled to face him. “I just don’t know what I’d do if they didn’t like me.”

Patton shook his head in amusement. “You’re adorable.” He took off his glasses and set them on the bedside table. Logan turned off the lamp on his side and lifted his arms so Patton could cuddle against his chest like he liked to. They stayed like that, quiet, intimate, and Logan focused on Patton’s breathing until it evened out.

“How can you be sure they liked me?” Logan whispered, thinking Patton had drifted off.

To Logan’s surprise, Patton pulled him closer. “I promise, I just can.”

Logan looked down and met Patton’s eyes. “But how?”

Patton sighed sadly. “Because you’re you. They know you love me. They know I love you. They trust me to pick someone who’ll be good for me. And besides, you were the perfect boyfriend tonight. Every parent’s dream suitor.”

Logan smiled. Patton reached up and laid his hand on Logan’s cheek. “But it wouldn’t matter if they didn’t like you. It wouldn’t influence me. I love you. Nothing’s gonna change that.”

Logan’s chest squeezed. “I love you, too.”

“I know.” Patton smiled. Logan pulled him back into his arms and Patton nuzzled his head under Logan’s chin. Logan pressed a kiss to the top of Patton’s head and let himself sleep peacefully.

Patton was getting married at the end of June.

The month before was hectic. It seemed like every day was slipping away uncontrollably, but Logan also couldn’t get past it fast enough.

He tried to make time for his friends, but they were always busy with preparations. Besides, Logan knew he owed it to Virgil to maintain a friendship, but he had only met Roman through Patton, and he couldn’t imagine many people stayed close with their ex’s friends post-breakup. Though he assumed most people didn’t go to their ex’s weddings either. Not that he would know any of it for sure.

And he didn’t want to dig anything up with Patton. Nothing good could come from spending prolonged periods of time with him.

Patton had clearly shown the extent of his feelings towards Logan after leaving him a drunken voicemail the night of his bachelor party, thanking Logan for being such a wonderful and understanding friend. Logan pretended he never heard the message when Patton texted him the next morning, mortified and apologetic.

But when Virgil actively sought him out for lunch, Logan ensured he was available. It couldn’t hurt to spend time with his friend. Except Virgil’s phone wouldn’t stop buzzing.

After the first few messages, Virgil sighed and picked it up. “I’m sorry, Logan. I’m emceeing the reception, and now that some people have found that out, they keep sending me song requests.”

Logan pressed his lips together. Everyone was constantly talking about the wedding. He couldn’t go a day without being reminded. And every day he grew more frustrated.

Virgil rapidly typed something out, pressed send, then turned his phone upside down on the table. “There, it’s on silent now. It won’t happen again.”

But it did. Virgil mentioned the wedding seven more times throughout the day. The rest of his friends talked about it non-stop. As the date crawled closer and closer, Logan felt it suffocating him more and more, and it became completely unavoidable. He almost believed everyone was trying to rub his face in the event.

A few days before the wedding, it finally hit Logan. He wanted this wedding. He never thought he would want an extravagant celebration, he didn’t think he wanted the stress of so many people and so many things to plan. But Logan desperately wanted everything he had watched Virgil and Roman and Patton run around trying to plan over the last month. After realizing that, everything else came in rapid succession.

Patton was moving upstate. He wouldn’t be going far, but it was still away from the family and city he loved so dearly.

Logan had a stable job that he loved, that he wanted to keep working. He didn’t want to travel around so much and lose it.

Patton didn’t think he could adopt a pet. He didn’t have the time or the space for an animal he really wanted, and especially not if he would have to commute to work more often.

Logan worked steady hours every day and had weekends off, a schedule he never imagined having, let alone enjoying.

Each acknowledgement washed over him, one after the other. All at once, the air was forced out of his lungs as he finally realized.

They would have been fine.

The reason Logan had left, the justification he had to remind himself of for years was crumbling. There was no need. They would have worked it out and Logan wouldn’t have had to watch Patton spend his life with someone else.

They were happy. Logan was happy. He had told himself for years that leaving was for the best. They would both be able to live the lives they wanted. They would be happier.

Patton would be happier.

That’s all Logan really cared about, he decided. He was terrified he wasn’t enough for Patton. He knew that if Patton gave up his future to be with Logan, he would always feel responsible for ruining his life. He knew Patton would resent him.

But Patton had plead with him, tears streaming down his face, arms wrapped around himself to try to physically hold back his heartbreak. “Logan, you make me happy! Why won’t you believe I would give all that up to be with you?” And Logan found himself asking the same thing. Why couldn’t he believe Patton? Why couldn’t he believe he was enough?

Patton was happy now. That was what was important. He had fallen in love again. He found someone who wanted the same things as him. Patton was going to get married and have his happily ever after and get everything he deserved.

This is your fault, Logan told himself, gritting his teeth. This is what you deserve. You fucked up, these are the consequences. This is what you wanted, isn’t it?

And yet, as much as he tried, Logan couldn’t stop thinking about Patton. Everything reminded him of when they were together. Every time he saw Patton, he ached to be the one on the other side of his hand. He kept dreaming of finally, once again, being Patton’s, only to wake up every morning with a gaping hole in his chest and the feel of his fingers running through Patton’s hair. He thought he would go insane.

Logan wanted to tell him.

He knew he would regret it. He knew it would almost certainly make the situation way more painful and complicated than it needed to be. He knew he would accomplish nothing but widen the rift between himself and Patton.

But Logan also knew that if reconciliation was anywhere near a possibility, it would be his only chance to achieve that.

Logan deliberated over it for days until he couldn’t take it anymore. Two nights before the wedding, he took a deep breath and made his decision. It’s now or never.

Logan took a walk downtown. He knew exactly where Patton would be. He took the longest route he could think of.

Patton sat at a bench on the patio section of a restaurant that had closed for the night. Approaching from the side, Logan watched him watch the sleepy life of this secluded section of the city. A few stores were open, a few people wandered past here and there, but Patton had complete privacy from where he sat, content and full of love for everything and everyone around him. Logan took a deep breath and walked into his field of vision.

Patton turned to him and smiled. “Hey, what are you doing out here?”

“Just talking a walk. I wanted the fresh air.” Logan walked over and stood next to the bench. “Anything interesting happen yet?”

Patton nodded, grinning. “Two doves flew up into that tree, and the owner of the restaurant across the street looked really happy when he closed. The night’s not over yet, though.”

Logan nodded back, a lump in his throat. He swallowed, and looked back down at Patton, who met his gaze, eyes full of wonder. Logan took another deep breath. Before he could change his mind, Logan jumped.

“Can we talk?”

#ts #thomas sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #logan #logan sanders #patton #patton sanders #roman #roman sanders #virgil #virgil sanders #logicality #logicality fic #prinxiety #prinxiety fic #my writing #dhmyh #does he make you happy

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midcing · 6 years

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okay so i have some New Kids.... they are all trash but some of them are trying their best which should honestly count for something imho... i’ll probably bring some more muses in at some point during this week bc i legit have 25 apps in my drafts right now and i just didn’t apply for all at once bc didn’t want to overwhelm myself... honestly tho? i want all the plots.... so like... pls like this and i’ll im you or come to me throwing ideas at my face so we plot and have some connections and threads ?? love my new trash sons pls ?? thanks !

JAMES WEST looks an awful lot like CHARLIE WEBER. HE is THIRTY NINE and while they’re LOGICAL, they have a tendency to get pretty CONTRARY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to POLARIZE by TWENTYONEPILOTS.

inspired by ;; frank delfino from htgawm, walter white from breaking bad and jaime lannister from game of thrones.

a lawyer

has 2 daughters.

would probably start a war for both of them if they asked him to.

thinks his daughters are angels who can do no wrong. if he saw them murdering someone in front of him, he would probably come up with a reason why they were doing it and defend them which isn’t great bc they are both like wild kids who are not actual angels ( wc ?? anyone ?? i’m trash for families ngl )

sketchy morals at best? ? doesn’t think of himself as someone who would do anything wrong but if something wrong is being done for his benefit he is sure as hell not gonna stop it

got into an ivy league school because his father - criminal known for money laundering, corruption, and fraud - donated a huge sum of money to the college. will die pretending he got in on his own merit

the older brother of my character mark west bc i love families sue me

would probably google ‘how to know if i am a dilf’

says thing like ‘lit’ and ‘on fleek’ to relate to the youth

pretends everything is fine until it blows up in his face

wants to much ! a perfect life, a perfect house, a perfect family, a perfect wife, a perfect job ! pretty good ? nah. not good enough for james west. scratch that and start again. everything must be 10/10

wants to be everybody’s dad even tho he isn’t a great dad to his two kids

will make your life choices for you if you let him

will bail you out of jail but only if he is allowed to give you a 3 hour lecture on Responsibility

will logic his way out of moral conundrums

the kind of person that turns a blind eye to corruption if it benefits him in some way

tries his best, which really honestly can only be said about 5% of my characters, so i would give him some credit

if you ask him a question he doesn’t want to answer he will just straight up ignore the question and change the subject

feels guilty about the way his helps criminals and does wrong stuff for his benefit and the benefit of the people he loves but also doesn’t try to change

aesthetics — watching the sunset through the office window, loud alarms playing an hour later than it should, unrecognizable reflection in the mirror, child laughter and the heavy feeling of stress in your chest, hushed whispers of assertions amidst a crowd, old wedding rings saved away after the divorce, big houses and empty space, thousand dollar watches, the smell of jail permanently stuck to a three piece suit, painfully happy memories, ignoring the way guilt makes it hard to breath, arguing in a favor of a guilty party.

FRANK HAMILTON looks an awful lot like DAVID HARBOUR. HE is FORTY ONE and while they’re DEVOTED, they have a tendency to get pretty UNPRINCIPLED. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SEDATED by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; hank from detroit become human and chief hopper from stranger things

tw: gambbling, alcoholism

a mess trying to pass for a functioning human being

he is a dirty cop that accepts bribes to let people off the hook and gets money from gangs to look the other way when he knows they will be doing something wrong somewhere bc he truly cannot bring himself to care

honestly i have no excuses for his behavior

has a huge problem with gambling.

born in kola. lived in kola for almost 30 years. moved out after his marriage fell apart, but has recently moved back

the kind of human being who thinks blood and gasoline are sexy

the kind of person that goes All Fucking Out for things and then when things don’t turn out exactly how he expected them to he makes a fuss about it and goes like “why did i even bother?”

will call you out on your bullshit and then act like people just throw shit at other’s face like that. stare you in the eye after exposing you and ask ‘what?’

says stuff like ‘i might be a shitty person but at least i’m upfront about it’ and ‘i prefer not to get involved in people’s lives.’

there is no such thing as a acquaintances. frank either loves you with all his heart and would kill a man for you OR he hates you and the fact that you are able to talk annoys him

you’ve heard of overachivers ?? well frank is here to present you A True Underachiever. he tries to do the bare minimum amount of work possible

the personification of /r/notmyjob

would probably go to an underground fighting ring for fun

channels his unhappiness into unhealthy habits. drinks too much, smokes too much. doesn’t do anything to change the fact that he is unhappy

gambled his marriage away by which i mean he gambled everything owned away and kept trying to find excuses for it until she was done and left . he still loves her but he feels like shit and he doesn’t wanna drag her back into his shitty life ( wc ? pls ? )

moved away from kola when his marriage ended and went to las vegas. lived there until he got in dept there too and he couldn’t find anywhere else to play then came back to kola

at some point was wide-eyed and hopeful and interested in helping people but slowly became unhappy with how he didn’t go anywhere, didn’t become better, greater, didn’t do more and then slowly things just went to shit

aesthetics — casual cruelty in the name of honesty, cigarette buds collecting on an old ashtray, crumbled dollar bills found between couch cushions, falling asleep at three o’clock and waking up the next day, bloody knuckles, handcuffs and police siren, the smell of alcohol in your breath at ten in the morning, unironed shirts and old cologne, knowing something is wrong but doing it anyway, ignored calls from concerned family members, remembering you have to do something just as it is too late to do it, the thrill in heartbeat when you land a punch in someone’s face, drunk steps stumbling out of the bar, begging people for one more chance.

SEBASTIAN “BASH” VANCOOP looks an awful lot like LIAM PAYNE. HE is TWENTY TWO and while they’re CHARMING, they have a tendency to get pretty SELFISH. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to PLAY ME LIKE A VIOLIN by JEREMY.

inspired by ;; hakeem lyon from empire and aaron burr from hamilton

that one sort of famous person that is always shirtless in other famous’ people instagram stories

treats people like things he can use and drop when he gets tired of

fake af. will say he likes you and then shit talk about you behind your back

that one person that goes ‘ooooooooooh you are gonna let them talk like that about you ?? ’ when other people are fighting

only wears prada chanel and gucci

can actually be really nice if you get to know him but how ? when there are three hundred walls up ??

thinks people are gonna take advantage of him or make fun of him so he just doesn’t trust anyone. can’t get betrayed if you never let anyone in right ??

doesn’t understand internet culture

was born in an insanely rich family. his father was a famous movie producer and his mother was a famous movie star. picture like spielberg as his dad and kate winslet as his mom

hates when people say like ‘Oh So You Are [ ]’s son?’

the first movie he was ever in was when he was about 5

he was in a bunch of movies from ages 5 to 12 but it was never really anything big. he was just the main character’s kid or that one kid that doesn’t get much screen time in movies like goonies

he never really liked acting but what else woUld he do ?? look at his family !! look at his legacy !! [ cue ‘wait for it’ from the hamilton soundtrack playing in the background ]

when he was 20 his father produced and directed a movie in which he stared. it was like his first Real role in hollywood action blockbuster. before the movie was out there was this whole hype about him and his dad working together and wow it’ll be awesome but it pretty much bombed. picture like After Earth bomb. everyone shit talking about him and the movie and how dumb it is on youtube bomb. the movie doesn’t get money to pay for itself bomb.

despite the fact that his parents said it didn’t matter. it was just a bad movie. everyone making fun of him and people shit talking about how he didn’t have his parents’ talent got to him real bad. he stopped acting all together.

his parents keep telling him to Do Something but he just doesn’t

is living in kola bc LA is a dumb of reminder of everything he thinks he did wrong

aesthetics — the blinding lights of camera flashes, the light feeling of being drunk, loud songs blaring through club speakers, interviews stopped halfway through, rude comments and anger, crowded parties in expensive summer homes, the overwhelming feeling in your chest when someone gets too close to fast, feigned charm and stranger’s company, running out of things to say after you have known someone for a while, wasted champagne dripping off a tilted bottle and loud laughter coming from the other room, the slow but continues pain in your heart that reminds you you are disappointment.

MATTHEW “MATTEO” DECKER looks an awful lot like JON BERNTHAL. HE is FORTY TWO and while they’re WILLFUL, they have a tendency to get pretty BLUNT. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SEVEN NATION ARMY by THE WHITE STRIPES.

inspired by ;; frank castle from daredevil, frank castle from the punshiner, frank castle from the born comics series. ( they are three different people, fight me ) seeley booth from bones in season five

tw: alcoholism, ptsd, mention of army, and war

former us marine

mostly goes by decker. his family used to calls him matteo but when other people do it it’s like .. “no”

you have been heard of resting bitch face ? matteo is here to show you the resting i fucking hate you face

swears too much like Wayy too much

he can be honestly really fucking soft i’m ngl but then you gotta be that one person that breaks down walls and again ? who has the time for that ? in the twenty first century?

wants to take care of everyone but pretends he is not interested in people bc he “Knows” everyone is gonna die or leave so there is no fucking point

actually just pretends he isn’t The Absolute Softest for everyone and tries to keep them all at arm's length but then people say ‘hi’ and are nice to him and he is like ‘Fuck me now i like them’

can actually laugh and make jokes which is Impressive imo

but then goes back to being bitter and angry at life

too straight up about things : could heavenly benefit from learning how to read social cues

you have to Tell him things if you want him to understand it. you can’t go around dropping hints. he won’t get it.

drinks his coffee black and without sugar

enlisted when he was eighteen bc patriotism and american dream and red white and blue stars but then that slowly stopped being the point. then he was just doing it bc He had been doing that for years what else would he do ? and then at some point he just saw too much … and then when he was discharged he just Never came back

after he came back he couldn’t find a job and he didn’t know what else to do and he slowly started getting involved with shady stuff and now he sells drugs to pay the bills

disappointed in who he is right now.

he is honestly Trying his very best.

aesthetics — punching a wall until your hands stings and your chest doesn’t anymore, the pleasant light feeling of holding back laughter, completed tasks and unachievable peace of mind, low chatter in dive bars in dark parts of town, questioning your belief system, roadside motels and failing neon lights, moonlight coming through the bedroom window, leaving the morning after, combat boots, loud honking cars and shaky hands, fighting the urge to shove someone away when you feel their touch against your skin, quiet places and pleasant loneliness, old dusty books and rock music, waking up multiple times in the middle of the night, whiskey mixed with coffee

OCTAVIANUS BRUNO GENTILLE looks an awful lot like FRANCOIS ARNAUD. HE is THIRTY SIX and while they’re ROMANTIC, they have a tendency to get pretty UNREALISTIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SOMEONE NEW by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; jay gatsby from the great gatsby, romeo from romeo and juliet, tom hansen from (500) days of summer, a slam poem i saw on youtube once

tw: bullying, mention of learning disabilities and stutter

romanticized every bad thing that happened in his life.

will romanticize every bad thing that ever happened in your life.

the kind of person that says “things happen for a reason…”

goes by his middle name. honestly thinks his first name is the Most Stupid Thing In The World if you call him octavianus he’ll be legit annoyed. kids used to make fun of him at school all that jazz. just call bruno

he is legit in love with italian culture and history. his father was italian and he just highkey Cannot Shut Up About It

art history professor in kola’s college

the kind of professor that just loves what he is doing… you know when the professor like kinda looks excited that he is talking or sharing knowledge or just talking about shit they truly like ? that is bruno

a nerd but pretends he isn’t

could not do a one night stand without catching feelings if his life depended on it

loves people too much too fast with all his heart

there is an argument to be made for him not actually falling in love with people and just with the idea of love that he made up in his mind but let’s get to that when we get to that

will spend the entire lesson arguing with one student about how inaction in our current political climate is just as harmful as supporting people who are doing harm when he was supposed to be talking about impressionism or something like that

thinks people have a soulmate and he is just trying to find his

100% not only Shows up to slam poetry sessions but Helps organize them

real political. the type of person that rallies when things are wrong and gets others to do it

has too many exes

posts pictures with his current girl/boyfriends on instagram and then doesn’t delete them when they break up bc ‘that’s who i was at that moment’

can recite poetry for you in italian but do not let him trick you. he’ll only be around for the honeymoon phase of the relationship then he’ll be like wow this isn’t perfect. time to end it

loves art !! all type of art !! is terrible at all of it : writing, panting, photography. but he loves it and he does it despite being bad and he tells people to do what they love !! and follow their dreams !!

his parents got a divorce when he was 7 and it was pretty bad. his dad was italian and moved back to italy shortly after. his mother was from kola and he stayed with her.

it was as if his world had fallen apart at that. bruno had never even seen his parents fight and then one day his father just moves out to Another Country he was pretty lost and confused

bruno moved back and forth between italy and the u.s. throughout most of his childhood and adolescence. never spending a lot of time in one place.

though his parents tried to remain friends after the divorce for his sake it never really worked out. his father wanted his mom back while his mother moved on and got married again.

growing up, he had a lot of trouble with accents and language. his father used to speak only italian at home. and his mother used to speak only english.

he developed a learning disability and a stutter after his parents got divorced

kids in school used to make fun of him. the way he talked and his name specially.

doesn’t stutter anymore but when he is talking about something that is hard to talk about, he talks really slowly to make sure the words come out properly

aesthetics — ukulele songs playing softly in a room with echo, piano recitals with ten people in the audience, walking around aimlessly, kissing greek statues, being happy that you are sad because it means that you are alive, cheering on others success, lacking ambition and living the present, old songs hummed in the shower, waking up early and staying in bed until 10am, cuddling under warm blankets, failing in love with a stranger, laughing loudly with new friends, white wine, beautiful paintings in an empty museum, admiring something for way too long,

ANTHONY MILLER looks an awful lot like JOSH DALLAS. HE is THIRTY NINE and while they’re PATIENT, they have a tendency to get pretty SELF-RIGHTEOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to JACKIE AND WILSON by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; prince charming from once upon a time, ned stark from game of thrones, bob belcher from bob’s burgers

tw: cancer

cannot talk about his feelings . cannot accept his own mistakes . cannot show weakness . at any point. no matter the subject . cannot let anyone take care of him.

Must be the best at all times for everyone and take care of everyone

self-care is a myth anthony does not believe in

works too much

he needs glasses to read stuff but he pretends he doesn’t so he does that squinting and pulling things close to his face thing. at which point you would probably ask ‘anthony if you don’t want to wear glasses wouldn’t it be easier ? to just ? wear contact lenses ?’ and yes it would it definitely would but anthony likes to make things harder for himself

slow to anger but he has that temper that you literally cannot see coming. he looks serious and stoic and then wow thunderfucking storms breaking chairs and stuff

loves beers and american football

the type of person that says this generation is lost

might smoke too much but he doesn’t talk about that

he doesn’t talk about anything actually

although i love him with all my heart. i would not rec

there is a right way to do stuff and anthony as the holder of all the knowledge and morality Must tell you about it

rarely ever smiles bUT when he does ? smiles like a prince. if we had a royal verse he’d be the king of the entire universe honestly.

he was a oldest child in a family of 7. his parents were super wealthy and he was the One favorite child who both parents used to love and cherish and cheer on.

he got his high school sweetheart pregnant. his parents didn’t want him to marry her bc she was Poor and Not up to standards but he chose love over his family and got disowned for that. hasn’t talked to his family since

his dream life was always to have the perfect picket fence house and american dream type of family. it was supposed to be him, his wife, his son and maybe some day he would have a daughter and it would Be great

he and his wife had a son and they named him hendrix bc she loved rock and jimi hendrix and he loved the name even tho he never liked rock. but honestly ? he was so weak for her he would have loved the name lkgjdflajf if she suggested it

a few months after their first son was born tho she was diagnosed with cancer and a few months later she passed away

after that he raised his son by himself. he really threw himself into it. spent most of his life focused on it and work and now his son is going to college and he doesn’t know what to do with himself

the only person he ever Truly dated was his wife and then he just focused on his son and raising him so he never really allowed himself to date bc then he would have to introduce someone else to his son’s life and all that … sO anthony is usually all cool and fine and then you show romantic interest in him and there is like a visible shift ya know? like he goes from anthony to a truly profoundly awkward person trying to pretend it’s cool

aesthetics — organized work tables, color coded to-do lists, trying your very best at all times, mental exhaustion showing through physical symptoms, dad jokes and laughing by yourself, the smell of new books, comfort found in old libraries, forgetting your reading glasses at home, losing your temper and breaking something, old family photos lost somewhere in the attic, pushing someone else on a swing, sundays afternoons lost at the park, working extra hours instead of going home, cold breeze and hugging yourself to your jacket, trying to explain to someone why they are wrong when they don’t want to listen

#fckit:intro #okay i know some of those got really big but i have already played all of them somewhere else at some point so like #i had already developed them a bit

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scientia-rex · 7 years

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I think my depression went from “bad but not that bad” to “well above baseline suicidal ideation” about a year ago, when I went to the little hick town with the preceptor who hated me for outpatient internal medicine when I was woefully underprepared.

I was just thinking about it when I took the dog out for potties. It’s such a constant feeling for me now--and obsessively checking in with myself about it, how much do you want to kill yourself right now?, doesn’t help, I know it’s part of the problem--and it feels like it’s been like this forever. But it hasn’t. Even during my Surgery rotation, which was hands-down the most stressful six weeks I have ever experienced, I wanted to live. I was doing a lot better during my family medicine sub-I. There are specific, discrete periods of time I can point to when my symptoms, very predictably, got worse:

-on the road, far from home, with no one to interact with who liked me or saw me as competent (which is why OB wasn’t as bad as IM or, for that matter, Peds; my preceptors were kinder, my resident was great, and I had a roommate, who was super nice and is still one of my preferred people from our class) (and also on my shittiest rotations I was fighting with the administration about transportation requirements)

-nothing to do all day for weeks on end while studying for USMLE Step 2, when I got really bad

-stuck on rotations in fourth year where I feel like I’m not contributing anything positive to patient care and no one I work with likes me or sees me as competent

-stuck on rotations where I had to listen to bullshit fucking attitudes from attendings and couldn’t do jack shit about them because WOW you don’t realize HOW helpless you are as a medical student until somebody says something horrible right in front of you and in that moment you realize if you say anything about it to anyone, you are labeling yourself “WHINER” in flashing neon lights and no one will want to work with you ever again

So if I know what the triggers were, and I know it’s gone up and down in intensity depending on those, I know it’s not authentic, in the sense that my urge to commit suicide isn’t some lofty philosophical conclusion I’ve reached by logic (no matter what my dad says when he talks about his suicidal ideation); it’s a direct response to a situation that is going to change again.

The antidepressants didn’t help this time. It’s been a full twelve-week trial at full strength and I still think about strangling myself with phone cords every time I’m stuck in a fucking endless meeting or listening to my attending call patients names. So I’m going back off them--they aren’t even sedating me at bedtime, this time around--and I’ll consider a trial of something else when I get established with my new primary care doctor.

And it’s going to be OK. Because I’ve been this bad before; I’ve been worse than this before; and I survived, and I’m learning how to make new kinds of art with video and audio editing, I have a book coming out in the spring, I’m setting up interviews for an oral history of care providers during the AIDS crisis that I think will be my best and realest legacy, I’m on the admissions committee so I can help choose a more thoughtful next generation of physicians, I’m watching my nephew walk so fast he pulls ahead of us after everything we went through with his older brother’s death two years ago, I’m fighting for health care coverage for my patients. I survived third year. I’m going to survive fourth year, and residency, and establishing a practice after that. Whether I do it married or divorced, whether I do it laughing or crying, I’m going to do it.

Life is really hard. When I was a teenager I thought that once I was an adult I’d have so much more figured out. Then, at college, I thought after college everything would fall into place; then in grad school; then I had to start putting together an actual career; right about the time I had a decent career up and running I went back to med school; in my twenties I thought I’d have a handle on things by my thirties; and here I am, well into my thirties, and still struggling, still figuring everything out. I don’t know if teenaged me would have found this a comfort, but adult me does. Because not having everything figured out means I’m not stagnating. I’m not becoming one of the living dead who stop thinking and growing and learning and changing. I’m not ossifying in place as a member of a privileged establishment. I picked medicine, in large part, because I knew it would do this to me--it would force me to keep changing even when it hurt and I wanted to stop.

As a teenager, everything was huge and overwhelming. I couldn’t imagine the future in any kind of meaningful detail. My anxiety was so huge I couldn’t do anything by myself; I was in a self-imposed prison. And I clung to the idea that things wouldn’t be so hard in the future to convince myself to get through that. Now, as an adult, I have so much more of what psychologists call self-efficacy. The belief that I can do things. And it means that even when things are really, really hard, I still look at the world in a different way than I did then. It’s less scary, less terrible, because I can do things.

It’s not just a different point of view, either. As an adult, you do have more options. I couldn’t leave my parents, even though they were mentally ill and awful to me. I didn’t have money, I didn’t have freedom, I couldn’t vote or get my own line of credit or get an apartment. I don’t want teenagers to look at struggling adults and think, Jesus, is that what I have to look forward to? because it’s better. Even when it’s bad, it’s better.

My depression has been a part of my life for so long--at least since I was eight--that it’s a familiar companion. I know it lies to me. Sometimes it helps to remind myself that I know that.

#suicide tw #med school dead school

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notesfromthepen · 5 years

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THE MAKING OF AN OUTLAW

I was five years old when I smoked my first cigarette.

It took me and my best friend john a week of planing. Which is an eternity when your five. A few days in and we seriously considered just waiting until we were adults. But the plan was already in motion.

We lived in military housing for enlisted men with families in Fort Campbell Kentucky. Military brats. We stayed just a few houses from one another. Initially you might think that growing up on a military base would provide the much needed structure and discipline to otherwise deviant youths. You'd be wrong. In a way we were all children of single parent households. The patriarchs were gone all day, at the same time, creating a "Lord of the Flies" free-for-all for the hordes of adolescents that swarmed the base. Many firsts in my life happened on military bases. Where men are men and kids are heathens.

John and I were best friends, more like co-parented brothers actually. We spent most of our time at his house. He had all the cool shit, namely a Nintendo game system. Our households were very different. Both with macho, old school, fathers who believed a good ass whooping trumps a good talking to every time. But that's where the similarities ended.

My house was what you'd probably expect of a decorated military man and war hero. The air of a no nonsense authoritarian rule filled our dwelling and my psyche. However that was only when dad was there. Mom was the complete counter balance to dads energy. A punk rock chick that spent her teens partying with bands and madman like the Ramones, MC5, and Patti Smith. Mom has always been a free thinking, tough, rebellious, and completely loving woman. It was a completely odd paring but the balance of the two extremes worked well.

Johns house was a completely different vibe. Where my house had two strong personalities that competed for control. Johns had one clear ruler and his agenda was decadence and fun. They had all the newest toys and implements of entertainment. Big TVs, calico vision, VCR's and...... A Nintendo Entertainment System!.. The N.E.S! For those of you who were born in to a world with preexisting gaming systems I cannot over state the mind blowing affect of the first Nintendo system.

Johns parents smoked like chimneys, drank competitively and had a knee high stack of playboys next to the toilet.. A fucking wonderland for a kid. I wasn't aware of the term "white trash" at the time and even of I was, if that's what they were, I would have thought of it as high praise.

All the houses on the base were the same. Bare bones, two bedroom houses with a flat roofs and a wooden sheds towards the back.

Much of the neighborhood debauchery took place in or around those sheds.

Its rare to be able to pin point exactly when and where you became a man. For me it was the first time a caught a glimpse of the inside of johns dads shed. Every inch was plastered with the centerfolds of adult magazines. Vixens with giant breasts, startling tan lines and even more startling bushes (it was the eighties). It might sound tame now, in the post internet world of porn hub but trust me when I tell you it was life changing. Im pretty sure that I sprouted a single pube right there on the spot.

Neither me or John were saints before our latest plan. We'd both sipped the last swigs in our dads beers before, took part in petty vandalism, had been into our fare share of fights, and we were now both veterans of perusing adult magazines, and so we decided the next logical step in our initiation into adulthood was to start smoking cigarettes. Again...We were five!

It wasn't a complex plan, however it was high risk. Since we were practically men now a lil risk was nothing to be afraid of.

We made a list of the implements necessary to accomplish our goals. It was a short list: A lighter, two cigarettes, and that's pretty much it. We would get the supplies in stages. We decided to get the cigarettes first. They would be the least likely to be missed. If we made it through phase one unnoticed and unscathed then we would proceed to phase two operation "fire grab". Which was just the stealing of a lighter.

The heist would take place at johns house because, well, my parents didn't smoke. We staked out the area, the players, and the goods for a full day. Johns dad was a "no-go" for several reasons. one: he wasn't there during the day. Two (and far more importantly): was the real threat of physical violence. Johns mom, on the other hand, was there all day, left her cigarettes in the kitchen, and we were confident that we could out run her if shit went sideways. She would be the mark.

The next day we would snag one cigarette from her pack, stash it,.and repeat the process the following day, as to not arouse the suspicion that two missing cigarettes might cause.

John showed up at my house right after breakfast. We walked to his place and formulated our plan of action. Since his mom was never stationary for too long we'd need a distraction. That would be johns job. Leaving the thievery to yours truly.

We approached his front door. My heart rate began to increase as we closed in on the threshold to the little square house. Upon entering, the kitchen was immediately on the left. John pointed a the table at the far end of the kitchen. He mouthed the words "right there". A soft pack of cigarettes sat under a red lighter perched atop the table. I tip toed into the kitchen as he went to run interference on our unsuspecting mark. His mom sat on the couch in the living room folding laundry in front of the TV. Between the laundry and the soap opera drama she was completely enthralled. In hind sight our "distraction" was not only completely unnecessary but it almost did us in. As I approached the table and silently lifted the lighter off the the pack of smokes, John said "hey mom whatcha doing?"

There were two doors leading into the kitchen. One in the entryway of the house and the other, at the other opened into the living room, where johns mom sat with her back to me and the table. If she turned around she would have immediately saw me handling her pack of cigs.

Johns question startled her out of her soap induced trance. She briefly looked around. I froze with lighter in one hand a her pack of smokes in the other. My heart had never beat so fast. Just before her head swung around far enough to witness the crime in progress John picked up the remote and changed the channel. "Can we watch Space Balls?" asked my codefendant. She stopped dead in her tracks “Goddamn it John!! Go out side and play!" To this day I've yet to meet more than a handful of people more capable than a five year old John in that moment.

As quick as a magician I pulled a single cigarette from the pack, placed it back on the table and positioned the red lighter on top, exactly as I found them.

With the contraband secured we shot out of the house like two bottle rockets. The screen door slammed behind us partially trapping the string of obscenities that followed.

Once far enough away we slowed to a walk. My heart still pounding but in a different way.

So began my true addiction. An addiction to that special mix of adrenaline and chaos brought on by the subverting of rules. An addiction that has followed me like a shadow for my entire life.

It wasn't the first cigarette that I'd ever seen but it felt like it.I rolled it between my fingers examining its details. I looked the little brown filter with the tiny imperfections in the coloring. I noticed the horizontal lines, so thin that they were almost invisible, on the white paper of the cigarette. I stuck it under my nose like a fake mustache and inhaled the aroma. it smelled so much nicer that the ones in he ashtrays at johns house. I looked around before letting it hang from between my lips like I'd seen the neighborhood teens do at the park. John was less enamored by the spoils of our heist. He'd probably already done this foreplay to smoking a few times.

We made it to the shed of a uninhabited house on my street. I went in and stashed the cigarette on one of the two by fours in the dark wooden box. Step one was now complete.

The plan was to let another day pass before going back to snag the remaining implements of our delinquency.

The next day, our day of inaction, crept by at a snails pace. We bull shitted around trying to distract ourselves from the single cigarette waiting to be smoked in the empty shed.

There were two parks on the base: Sunny park and Shady park. At that age things are clearly defined, either black or white. There aren't many grey areas when your five. The two parks on the base were perfect representations of this hard line. The parks gained their nicknames obviously enough; one was sunny and the other shady. But the meanings ran deeper and its taken years of perspective to fully appreciate the depth and meaning of the two parks.

Sunny park was designed by convince. The block of houses in the center of the neighborhood created a huge field in their collective backyards. In the center of this sea of green sat the makings of a playground: swing sets, monkey bars, a slide, a merry-go-round and a big dome of interconnecting metal bars that created a geometric contraption to play on or bash your shins against. Not a single tree or bush grew in the field. Every inch was bathed in unobstructed sunlight and every action visible from the rear windows of the surrounding houses. Windows constantly manned by the bored and nosey housewives of the enlisted men.

No one under the age of twelve used Sunny park for anything other than a short cut to the other park.

Shady park, on the other hand, was designed by no one.

Shady park was tucked away in a wooded area, on the outskirts of the neighborhood, hence the name. Dirt paths leading in and out of the park cut between the towering trees. The occasional few rays of sunlight that made it through the foliage created islands of light on the park floor.

I'd walked past Shady park everyday on my way to school. From the side walk you could hear the older kids in the park skipping school. The crash of breaking bottles, foul language, and general teenage revelry was the soundtrack to my walk. Every few steps I'd catch a glimpse of the forbidden playground and its inhabitants. A mixture of fear and excitement gave goosebumps to my skin.

So in an attempt to burn through the rest of our day, while we waited for tomorrow to bring us phase two of our heist, we decided that we were ready for a romp through the darker of the two parks. After all, we were just a few days and a couple of puffs on a cigarette away from becoming men.

I remind you that this was the eighties. A decade where the, now cliche, douchebag bullies from eighties movies really existed.

Around the same time one of my cousin Judy's "friends", complete with long ratty hair, fingerless gloves, and a single dangly cross earring, flinched at me like he was gonna punch me in the face and said "Fuck you pussy!" Again, I was five! He must have been seventeen going on forty. I was so young, small, and Asian that he had to flinch down at me.. This goon was completely serious too. A hundred percent unaware. It was so par for the course at the time that only after entering adulthood did I realize how ridiculous it was.

Man I miss those days and that specific brand of asshole. And I only mention this to give reason for our trepidation of Shady park and the characters we were likely to meet up with.

John came over and we walked towards the park. We approached the foot path that lead into the park. A path that I'd walked past a thousand times, always knowing, in the back of my mind, that the time would come when I was meant to follow it. Today was that day. Ten steps in and we were in a different world. It was oddly quiet and noticeably darker. The thought that we'd interrupt a group truant teens knee deep in some sort of unholy communion made me queazy. John was the silent type but I knew he felt the same.

About ten yards in, the narrow dirt path split in two, then three, then four paths, before opening up to the Shadiest of parks.

Huge sections of concrete tubes, big enough for us to walk through, littered the park at random intervals and angles. The left over artifacts of some unfinished drainage project. Each cylinder with its own custom smattering of spray painted obscenities and vulgar pictograms. Some familiar others confusing. On one tube, a giant red dick seemed to be assaulting some sort of hairy clam standing on end.

The park felt and sounded empty.

We huddled in the first tube that we came to, the one with the clam, to get our bearings. The bottom of the tube glittered with jewels. Diamonds, emeralds, and gems of every color crunched under our feet. At the opening of the other end of the tube sat the biggest gem id ever seen. An emerald with part of a 7up logo on it. Some of the smaller shards had been there so long that their edges were dull and rounded. We picked the best ones and put them in our pockets, to build our fortunes with later.

We exited the concrete tunnel and made our way into the heart of the park. An old swing set was the center piece. Large chunks of green paint had been chipped away exposing rusted metal. The stillness and the silence made for an eerie setting. John kicked one of the swings. The chains creaked and rattled forever. It was like time stopped. Like we were un-welcomed visitors. We were technically [in] the park but something was off. We were tourists. Sightseers... Trespassers.

We walked to the decrepit merry-go-round and sat down. It groaned under our insignificant weight. I don't remember what we said. Probably nothing. John kicked at some pebbles. The chains of the swing set eventually went silent.

Finally, I said "let's get outta here."

We walked home in relative silence. I knew that things would be different once we smoked those cigarettes. The forbidden part of the world would finally open up to us. We'd be adults. We'd be enlightened.

I could hardly sleep the night before the next phase of the heist. It was like Christmas morning. I woke early, poured a bowl of cereal, and sat down in front of the TV. Before I could drink the pink tinted milk from the bowl John was at the door.

"Bobby, John's here." I jumped up, tossed the bowl into the sink, and ran outside.

When I saw john he was already smiling. "You ready?" he asked.

Now, the plan was to grab the last cigarette today and the lighter tomorrow. So I assumed he meant "was I ready for phase two?" When in fact he meant "Are you ready to do this?"

He looked around before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a a single cigarette and a red lighter! What i did to deserve such a sneaky, conniving, grab the bull by the horns, type of best friend like John I'll never know, but I was grateful.

My palms started to sweat. Hesitation and fear fought for control. Reasons to abandon our plan suddenly flooded my mind. However it didn't take long for another kind of fear, the fear of looking like a pussy, to override my better judgement. Such is life.

With chests out, strutting like roosters we walked to our shed of inequities. Some of the neighborhood kids were gathered in a driveway. They couldn't help but notice the confidence. Or maybe it was the cigarette that dangled from my lips. I pretended not to notice them as we neared, feigning a conversation with John.

One of the kids, I can't remember his name, ran up and asked "John, what you guys doing? That ain't a real cigarette is it?"

To which I smirked at him.

"Nothing" said John and we kept walking. John flicked the lighter as we made our way down the street.

We made it the house, up the side and to the shed out back. John struggled to open the door. He had to lean with all his weight to force it open.

I followed him into the dark and musty wooden box. I grabbed the cigarette that we'd stashed away and tried to hand it to John. His back was to me as he leaned his head out the door.

"Get outta here, we're busy!"

"Here" I said and handed him the cigarette. As he took it I glanced out the door. The two boys we walked past were coming up the side yard. I pretended to be pissed but was secretly glad to have an audience. I mean what was the point of being an outlaw if no one was there to witness it?

At this point the cigarettes were merely symbolic.

"Forget them" I said.."Gimme the lighter."

I grabbed the lighter and flicked it several times before it sprung a flame.

This was years before burn stop cigarettes and child-proof lighters that infuriate the drunk and elderly smokers of today.

I held the lighter out and lit johns cigarette before lighting mine.

I need to make this perfectly clear. At the time I had absolutely no idea how to inhale. The idea alone would have confused me. As far as I was concerned you just puffed on the cigarette by pulling air into your mouth. But none of it really mattered. This wasn't about smoking anymore. It was about rebellion.

We both stood there puffing away, filling the small shed with smoke almost immediately. I did my best impression of an outlaw who had done this a thousand times. But the fact that my eyes were starting to water from the smoke almost gave me away for the rookie I was.

As I fought back the tears two more nosey kids made their way up to the shed. It was the two black girls that lived next door to me. They were sisters (I mean that in their relation not color, though I guess both could apply). I don't remember their names and any attempt to guess would probably just come off as a tad "stereotype".

I do remember that, of the two, I liked the younger one. She was sweet and funny. Her older sister was an asshole, already jaded by the ripe old age of seven. She was mean and spiteful. I was actually glad that she was there to witness my bad-assery, maybe now she would give me the respect that I deserved.

The entire time the onlookers said nothing. They just stood witness, looking dumbfounded.

We finished our cigarettes, left the shed, and walked through the kids gathered around the shed. The older of my neighbors, the jaded seven yr old, said "ewwwwww" in a admonishing tone as we walked by.

John and I walked home together. The only words spoken were his":I gotta get this lighter back." I nodded and we parted ways.

I got home and went straight to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I went to my room and sat on my bed. I sat there staring at my Hulk Hogan poster and realized that I didn't feel any different. I wasn't more mature. I wasn't more bad-ass. I wasn't an Outlaw..

Some time passed, it felt like hours but I can't be sure, when my mom opened my door a crack and said "don't go anywhere your dad wants to talk to you when he gets home." My heart sank. I knew it was a wrap. Right then and there I knew it was over. A mixture of panic, embarrassment, and fear set in.

I wasn't a tough guy. I was a scared kid afraid of an ass whipping.

It turns out that as soon as we left the shed the neighbor girl ratted me out. My dad came home, promptly threatened to hand me a sore ass, reminded me that I was anything but a tough guy compared to him, and grounded me for a month.

So there it was: my life as an outlaw had started and ended in a single afternoon.

Life has a strange way of giving you, not what you want, but only what you're ready for in that exact moment. And there's no way of cheating life. No way of speeding up the process.

And so for the time being, Shady park and my life as an outlaw would have to wait...

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captain-spookycandycollecti-blog · 6 years

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So I just got my license a few days ago, and I'm confused with the whole insurance thing... I am not getting my own car until I graduate high school, which won't be for like a year ish. So do I need insurance in order to drive my parents car OCCASIONALLY? Both my parents have car insurance. So pretty much, it would have been better to just have my permit where I don't need car insurance, instead of getting my license and being forced to get car insurance even if I'm going to be driving RARELY? Whereas with my permit, I could drive within hours with an adult for as long as I want without needing car insurance.........""

Motorcycle Insurance?

I'm 20 years old and just passed my written test and now I'm going to buy a motorcycle that I can train on to my skills test. How much can the insurance cost more or less???

https www.humana.com insurance-plan-quotes select-plan

""I want a 92-97 Lexus SC 300, how much for insurance in CA.?""

I'm a 17 and 1/2 year old looking for a 92-97 manual SC 300. I was wondering how much it would cost for Insurance in California? Also can I get it California DMV legalized if I swap the engine out for a 2JZGTE, a twin turbo version of the stock SC 300?""

Where is the cheapest place to go for cheap car insurance for a young male?

I am 19 years old and currently insured by statefarm. They recently found out about a disobeying stop sign ticket that i got last year. Also, they found out that i am not currently in school. I own a 2007 saturn ion (manual, 2 door) that i am currently financing a few thousand dollars on. Since they dropped the steer clear and good student discounts, i am paying 166 dollars a month. Before that i was paying 108. It just seems kind of high to me. I am pretty sure i am getting a couple discounts from my parents. Also i have signed up for classes in the fall making me a full time student eventually. Is there any car insurance company that could get me a better deal? i have tried farmers, progressive, and geico.""

Is the renault twizy cheap for teenagers?

Is the insurance cheap Im looking around below 2000 a year

Health insurance....?

I am not available for health insurance at my job because i am only part time. everytime i apply for health insurance online, i get turned down because of my credit or my health. i don't think it's right. i need some kind of insurance because i have to go to the doctor. what should i do?""

Can i insure a car in one state and register in another?

i am going to school in South Carolina and have a permanent address in New York. Can i register my car in SC and insure it in New York?

Is four wheel drive worth it for where I live concerning insurance costs?

I want a jeep cherokee as a first car and I cant decide between 4x4 and 2x4. My friend told me that four wheel drive will increace the car insurance. I already thought insurance was expensive, does anyone have any idea how much more this will increase insurance on average. Should I even get a 4x4? I'll be getting the car off craigslist so its not the cost of the vehicle that concerns me its all about the insurance. I live in florida so its not like ill be going through snow or anything i just thought it would be handy if I ever wanted to go off roading once or twice.""

Difference between a deductible and co-insurance?

I am shopping for individual health insurance and I do not understand the difference between these terms. Also, if a plan has a $1000 deductible does that apply to the entire 12 month term of the plan or every single time I receive health care services? And what about co-insurance?""

Car insurance quotes?

I have just spent an endless amount of time on various car insurance sites, which start of with reasonable quotes then you add the bits and pieces on and you end up with ridiculous final costs. I am not insuring a 0-60 in 5 seconds type car but a small 1.4 Honda I am fully aware that any car can cause damage,my wife drives the car,has had no claims or convictions. I have a larger car and the insurance is 50 cheaper than all quotes received so far,which includes breakdown recovery,protected no claims and legal cover. anyone with car insurance advice would be appreciated, these car insurance sites are a pain""

Help plz car insurance in MD?

well i am 20 years old. i have been driving a car under my mother's insurance name for a while, the insurance told her that if i got an acident while driving that car the insurance will never cover any damage and they consider that as a crime so Is that a crime to drive a car which ur name is not in the insurance list? also ifu know which insurance company is the best for me to get my own insurance""

How much would full coverage insurance cost?

I want to get a car loan to buy this 2004 Hyundai Tiburon. I'm 18, I've been in one accident. Around how much a month?""

Which motorcycle insurance is an better choice Geico or Allstate?

Why is it the law to have car insurance?

I mean if I get into a car wreck. Will the insurance company really cover the cost of me getting into an accident? It feels like I will just be dumping money down their throats for nothing in return.

Will 1 speeding ticket make insurance companies deny you coverage for a job?

I know my question was a little confusing, but I wasn't sure how to word it. In other words, about a week ago I got a job with a local company called Rental City. It's like a ...show more""

Minor car accident (not at fault) - should I go to my insurance or small claims court?

I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. Last week I was involved in a minor car accident. I was at a stop light and the car behind me decided they could not wait and they tried to get by my car to make a left turn. They did not have enough room and scraped against my car with theirs. No one was hurt and no police were called. We pulled over and I got their name, phone number and address. They did not give me their insurance information and said they'd like to settle outside insurance because there are only scratches. I know it was stupid but I said okay. Also I do not have the license plate number of the car. I thought I wrote it down but I did not (I understand this is a big mistake on my behalf). We made contact over phone throughout the week and discussed repairs but suddenly they stopped answering my calls. I believe they are avoiding me. Now I am at a loss of what to do. Should I take this issue up with my insurance (at the risk of raising my premiums) or should I take this to small claims court? In either case I do not have the car's license plate so if it isn't their car will that be insufficient evidence to prove they are at fault (my word against theirs)? Thank you in advance for all your answers.""

Insurance For a 1968 Ford Falcon?

Can anyone give me a serious quote of what the insurance would be for 16 year old driver on a 1968 Ford Falcon. Also what would be the quote for a 48 year old driver in Northeastern, Ohio.""

How long does insurance company have to respond to a claim?

Was in wreck w/semi-truck in Oct.. Driver took pic of wreck and brought back w/him. His insurance will not respond to lawyer. How long to they have to respond. If anyone knows, about average amount a trucking company will pay. They found out I have nerve damage to right leg-may not ever be able to return too work. Thanks for any input.""

My car was totalled when I got rear-ended. How do I get the best price for it from the insurance company?

The accident was the other guy's fault (in California). The insurance company chose to total it and pay me, rather than have it fixed. But the price they are quoting me is very low, lower than Kelley Blue Book and lower than asking prices in local classifieds. They say they use their own program, but I can't replace what I had with the amount they are offering. What rights do I have and is there anything I can do to get that offer up?""

Which health insurance is better?

I'm 18 and my current health insurance (it's called Neighborhood in NYC) has currently expired. I can either re-certify this or be added to my dad's GHI health insurance, which is provided by the city. His insurance includes copays and such that I've never done before. Which insurance makes more sense?""

Cheap Car Insurance for 22year old?

Hi, Im 22 year old male from Manchester UK, Have held a full clean licence for over 4 years now, I need a car to travel to work. I have tried to find a cheap quote but my car insurance is over 3000. Just wondering does any one know of any companies that could provide me with a cheaper car insurance quote? I have tried all the insurance comparision websites. Any other suggestions? May be buy a brand new car which has free insurance? But dont know who does it now apart from peugeot where you have to be over 25. Any help will be greatly appericiated.""

""I hit my friends car, they dont have insurance?""

I accidentally hit my friends car with my truck and it's pretty damaged. I apologized and said id call the insurance company. They said no because 1. The car.is up for repossession and 2. Because they don't have car.insurance! They supposedly went and got a quote to fix it and it's $1,200. They want me to GIVE them $1,200! I refuse because this is why I have insurance. What do I do?""

How much money would I save on car insurence?

I have a 16 year old who I am debating whether I should put him in driving school to save money on insurance when he turns 17 and gets a licence. It would be added to my insurance. about how much money would I save on car insurance with a behind the wheel driving school in New Jersey? Please dont give me wbsites with a free quotes.

400 dollars a month for car insurance that is CRAZY?!?

I went on a website that gives you a free estimated quote for how much insurance would cost, I completed drivers ED and it is still about 400 monthly or 5000 yearly for an old crappy car! My dad called his insurance company to add me on to his truck and that is 80 monthly or 1000 yearly but he is never home so it would be pointless to get added on to him. I need a car to get to a from work since I live 20 minutes out of town. How do they expect young drivers to afford that? What did you pay when you first got your license? I'm female & 17""

Car insurance?

there are 5 people in our family and we all have vehicles of our own and pay for separate insurance but somtimes we might need to use each others cars/vans for what ever reason is there an insurance that we could get that would allow us to drive each others cars.

Motorcycle Insurance?

Does motorcycle insurance cost more than car insurance would or is it about the same?

What is the cheapest car insurance premium quote?

That you know of , for an 18 year old male driving a group 1 car. Thanks.""

https www.humana.com insurance-plan-quotes select-plan

Why are all my insurance quotes so high?

Ok, I'm 17, passed my test in june. been getting quotes on comparison sites for a 1 litre vauxhall corsa (1995) and the lowest quote is 4980 a year. I have triple checked each and every question it asks me and they are all correct and good. i am not insured on anything else, no no claims bonus etc. im a college student so how the hell do they expect me to pay almost 5000.. they are ridiculous to even set these prices thinking someone is going to use them. please any responses as to why my quotes are so high? tyvm""

What is the basic kind of insurance required by California Law?

What kind of insurance covers something like another driver hitting your car door, and then driving off before you could get their license plate # what is comprehensive , and what is collision, ?""

I am 16yrs old and i have a chance to get a Conquest tsi turbo how can i convince my parents?

It is a 1987 Chrysler Conquest tsi turbo. The insurance would be $53 with the student discount and good grades and what not. Without it it is $70 a month. I am trying to get a job to buy this car i realy want it any sugjestions. It costs $2500 and it only has 60,000 Miles""

I have a polish worker were can i find cheap car insurance for him?

Car insurance and business... HELP...?

Hi, I am 17 and am taking my test next week. I am also soon starting an apprenticeship (electrical). At this time I am not sure about transport (if I have to go to company and travel as van passenger or even driver) or if I have to make my own way to jobs. Whichever way a licence will help a lot. If I am just driving to work 4 days a week and college 1 then can I use Social, Domestic and pleasure + commuting to a single place of work or study ? and if I have to drive between jobs then I know I can not use this insurance (correct?) but when looking at business car insurance quotes they seem to be based on me owning the company (which I do not) so what insurance do I need and is there any responsibility on my employers to pay some or all of the insurance if I am driving between jobs? Please can you help... Thanks in advance.""

""I got a DUI, will my auto insurance drop me?""

I have AAA, and got a DUI ast year, my insurance hasent gone up yet, but I know it will. Do you think AAA will drop me, since they are such a huge company, and will I have to go get some cheap ol' coverage now? I pay around $125 at the beginning of my policy for the year, then it goes down a little each month, my last payment is around $30, then it starts over again. Ive been w/ them for a few years, w/ a perfect record, until now. The DUI wasnt for alcohol or illegal drugs, it was for prescription medication. I tried a new med, but made the choice to drive also, and this is what I got. Any help?""

Is there a new law about not having car insurance?

i heard the law had just changed in California and my insurance just ran out in order to renew i need to drive to the bank and im not sure if i can with no insurance

Will it be more expensive to get health insurance in January?

When I did my income tax they said starting 2014 there gonna start charging a penalty fee for not having health insurance I'm looking for some right now but I'm not working right now and my employer dosent provide insurance so I was thinking in January when I start working Will it be more expensive because there's like a lot deadlines for insurance right now in December

Does anybody know where to get cheap auto insurance for a 18year old?

What is good insurance for teens?

Can I have some good companies? I want the basic insurance package. im 17, male, senior in HS thank you""

Will my insurance rate go up for this careless?

i was driving down the road day after we got all that snow in december i hit a mail box and went in a really shallow ditch ..couldnt get out... left my car there for the night thinking it would be ok... in the morning car wasnt there so called o.p.p they said ya they have my car they just wanted to talk lol so i go thre he wrote me up a carless and leaving seen of accident ..he asked wanna go through insurance i replied no i will pay for the mail box myself which i did. no one was hurt only the mailbox...the carless was a 490.00 fine.. does anyone know how much my rate would go up just for a silly little careless like that??

Im 21 and a new driver how much would my car insurance cost on a honda civic type r 02 reg?

I need cheap car insurance in New York City?

I need cheap (FULL) coverage for a financed vehicle in the NEw York Area...I've tried the popular sites...any leads?

Can my parents insure my car without me on the insurance policy?

Ok, there's a little bit to the story. I want my mom to sign my car (which is in her name at the moment) over to me. She said that she would. The DMV people said that to change the car over into my name, I have to bring in my I.D. and proof of insurance. I'm wondering if they will switch the car into my name without me being listed on my mom's policy (the ins. car has her name on it.) Will the people at the DMV switch the car into my name, or do I have to have my own insurance, or be put on her policy?""

Where can i get the cheapest car insurance in marion ohio?

What is the average insurance for a 2004 jeep grand cherokee?

It is a 4wd 4x4 jeep grand Cherokee laredo. Thank you

Am I covered under my parents' car insurance?

I am sixteen years old and I will be added to their insurance soon, but in the meantime, am I covered if anything happens? The car is insured under liberty mutual and I do no not often drive their car, but I need to use it to get to school tomorrow. What will happen if I get into an accident with an insured car under my mom's name and not mine?""

Ive had my plates for a year with no insurance how can i get my license back?

i had a lapse and just never turned in my plates i never been stopped by police but i just got a nice car that i want to get registred

What are affordable health insurance plans in mass?

private insurances, available to full time college students""

Where can I get the Cheapest Car Insurance Quotes at Online?

How can I find the cheapest car insurance for me? I just got my first car and I know I will prolly pay a lot for insurance but how can I check for deals? I am on a really tight budget but at the same time, I only have a second-hand car so I gotta make sure I get insurance that will pay out if I need to make a claim. Where can I get the cheapest car insurance for my car at, and how reliable is it if I need to claim??""

Why is my insurance going up?

I've been working with my employer for 7 years, as of right now I have employee & spouse coverage, I pay about 150 a month (auto deduct from paycheck) and that amount gets me a $5000 deductible and about a $25-$30 co-pay. this morning in a company meeting we were told that our insurance is going to go up (starting June 1st) now for employee and spouse it is going to be $410 a month (everything else the same as before co-pay and deductible) last year my hubby had some medical issues and we have about $7000 in medical bills (on a payment plan we pay $400 a month) so now when my new rate kicks in (in about a week) I will have to pay a total of $800 a month just for medical stuff... I can't afford this. my employer is very upset and wants to shop around but has been shopping around for 8 months now and can't find anything better than this. why is health insurance rising?? I am thinking about dropping myself from health insurance all together (I am 31 and healthy), also i plan on getting rid of my cable and internet (which would save $140 a month), my husband (with medical issues) will get health insurance through his work (about $160-$200 a month) and I will go without for a couple of years just so we can keep our heads above water... I just have a question about my plan of action- can I drop my Health insurance? will I get fined for opting out of health insurance when Obamacare goes into action next year?""

""How much will car insurance cost me, as a young driver?""

I will be 17 in may next year, but I need to start saving for insurance. Does anyone know any cheap insurance deals, also who they are, and how much? I live in UK thanks :)""

What is car insurance quotes online policy ?

what is car insurance quotes online policy ?

Do you think my dad is paying to much for insurance?

my dad is around 44 years old and he has never been in a car accident. He has gotten tickets from when he was 19 years old. He has California casualty and he has been with them for years, we live in oregon. He has a 2006 toyota tundra darrel waltrip edition 4.7l v8 valued around 20k. He told me he pays around 100 a month for full coverage. We have 2 cars on his insurance, toyota, and my eclipse. Iv never gotten any tickets(dont know if that would affect it). THE reason i ask this is because my bf's dad just got a 2006 mustang gt and they said they only pay 76$ a month. So im just curious, Do you think my dad is over paying?? THANKS""

Backed into a car - Both without insurance?

I was driving my mothers car and went to a friends to grab something. When I left i backed into another guys car that was there. I was in my mothers car without insurance and he also does not have insurance. He went to a place to get it checked out and says it is almost $3000 in repairs. His car was worth $1500 before it was wrecked. What should be done here? Do i have to pay the $3000? I offered to just buy his car for the $1500 he said it was worth before it was wrecked but he refuses i dont want to put 3000 in a car for it still to be a $1500 dollar car.

https www.humana.com insurance-plan-quotes select-plan

What would it cost for insurance for a 16 year old male driving 1980 corrvette?

""If a deer hits me, how fast can insurance get me a rental car?""

I have a 97 Ram 4x4, full coverage at geico (I'm on my parents insurance), $500 deductible. How fast can insurance get me a rental if one hits me, will it raise my rates, (I work 3-11:30 PM, and travel mainly back roads since there aren't many other ways to get home if it helps). I've been driving for 6 months.""

Is having a health insurance mandatory in California?

I am moving from Massachusetts to California at the end of this month. In Massachusetts its mandatory to have health insurance and if you don't have it you can get penalized on your taxes. Is it mandatory in California as well?

How much will my insurance be on a BMW 114i?

Ow much will my insurance be roughly on a brand new BMW 114i 25K, I'm 17 yrs old and I think this car is a 1.6l, please tell me how much the insurance will be for me, I need a price with and without my parents added to the policy, my address is 2, bd8 0bw. 2012 plate 3/5 door hatchback Petrol""

Cheap Car Insurance Help.?

I am an 18 year old boy and have recently passed my driving test, i am looking around for cars but the insurance is a joke, the cheapest i have had is 5000. Anyone know what cars are cheap to insure and what insurance companies are cheap for young new drivers?""

How are young drivers expected to build up 'no claims' or experience when insurance prices are so expensive?

Insurance Group for Cars?

Hi, I am planning to buy a second hand car, I.e., when I search the car through net, it says Insurance Group is 4/5/6 etc. Can any one tell me how the Insurance Group are being defined which Grade enables me to pay less premium? Which Insurance Group car I should look for ideally? Thanks in advance. Regards, Reed.""

'occasional driver' Car insurance?

Hi, I'm 18 and I'll be heading off to college in the fall and so won't be home very often. However when I am home I'd like to be insured on my dads car. I don't see the point in having to pay the same price for car insurance as someone who drives almost daily, so I wanted to know if there was a type of car insurance for the 'occasional' driver. I'll only be home on vacations, and even then I won't be driving all the time, but I really need a car insurance for when I do drive, mostly summers.""

My car has been broken down for some time do I need insurance?

My cars engine blew up in June. I could not find an engine I could afford at the time. I canceled the insurance due to this. I received a letter in the mail wanting proof of insurance for the state of Ohio. I have purchased a engine now but still haven't had anyone install, so the car is not operational. What do I do? Can I show the receipt for proof the the vehicle wasn't operational?""

Healthcare Insurance: True or False?

1. The Affordable Care Act does not require employers to provide health insurance for their employees. 2. No employer, in any state, is required to provide health insurance to any employee, full time or part time. 3. Employers do not have to report the cost of insurance on employee W-2s in 2011. This reporting is optional in 2011. The reporting requirement is intended to be informational and provide employees with greater transparency into health care costs. The amounts reported are not taxable.""

Is geico a reliable car insurance in CA? Thanks?

People who need affordable health or dental benefits?

I work as a health benefits specialist and we offer extremely affordable rates on health and dental plans. Anyone have any good ideas on where I can leave flyers or business cards of ...show more

How many people really need or should recieve help buying health insurance?

Out of all uninsured 40% are living on a household income of $50,000 or more a year. Unfortunately alot of people would like to indulge in lifes luxuries such as cars, tv, computers, cell phones, and vacations before thinking about their own health and safety Another 20% are non-citizen which includes illegal immigrants. This is straight from the census bureau which the president would use for his information. http://www.census.gov/prod/2008pubs/p60-235.pdf What do you think?""

Can I get Sprint Insurance?

OK, let's say that I buy a phone for cheap on ebay or radioshack, can I still go to a sprint store and get insurance on the phone or do I have to buy the phone directly at the sprint store in order to get insurance?????""

Is car insurance expensive?

Im about to get my driver licence and my mom told me that car insurance is really expensive and that's the reason why she wont buy me a car.

If i buy a 2008 mustang what will be my insurance cost in california?

i am 18 years of age male have never gotten a ticket or never been involve in car accident have had my license since age 16 1/2

Finding a decent health insurance plan. low cost insurance.?

I'm 22 and a server I want to find insurance that will actually take care of me. where can i go to get help for this? I dont know much about insurance

Would health insurance coverage for alternative health care increase consumer choice or decrease health care?

Would health insurance coverage for alternative health care increase consumer choice or decrease health care costs?

Can you purchase Life Insurance on someone without their knowledge or approval?

Would not the documents require the Insured's signature? How can someone 'get away' with this? Is it not considered unethical or illegal? 110509 8:42

New insurance companies?

I need a list of newly opened Insurance companies.

Student Health insurance?

I have a friend who just turned 18 and no longer qualifies for Badger care (state insurance). Her mother is jobless and her father is out of the picture. She has a part time job but it does not provide insurance. She is still in High school and needs some sort of coverage. Does anyone know of an affordable health insurance plan for students?

What are some affordable health insurance in the NJ area?

I am 25 years old and currently unemployed. I will be a student in the health care field and I'm required to purchase health insurance. I also have to get a physical exam along with vaccinations. I looked online for some insurance and I have to pay at least $250 a month which is too much for me. Are there any affordable health insurance?

Health insurance in USA?

hello, i have few questions regarding health insurance for americans. 1- What is the average annual cost of health insurance for adults? 2- do children get free healthcare or should they be covered by the insurance? 3- who can benefit from free healthcare in america? 4- if americans pay tax how come theyre not entitled to free healthcare?""

What's a cheap insurance i can use considering that i got a dui?

I got a DUI back in march 2nd of this year (2009). My lawyer tried to fight it, but it didn't help, so my license is currently suspended. In order to get a restricted license, i need to show proof of insurance. Knowing that i have a dui on my record, what's the best option i have ?""

How much is car insurance for a teen?

I'm 16,I have a 2002 Camaro SS,I live in Las Vegas,Nevada.(don't stalk me lol).My dad has Geico insurance.What else do you need to know?""

https www.humana.com insurance-plan-quotes select-plan

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/best-health-insurance-kerala-daniel-cross/"

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tarnishedninja · 7 years

Text

okay so this is a look into who ripple / kano sazanami is as a person and her development over the course of the series. under the cut because it got kinda long lmao oops

when introduced, ripple seems to be cold and quick to anger. she judges people harshly for the smallest of things ( she literally goes on a page-long rant about sister nana the first time they meet... honey, please ). however, she isn’t narcissistic- she doesn’t necessarily sees herself as being better than others. in fact, she sees someone was being better than her / worthy of her respect- snow white.

ripple is neither a pessimist or an optimist, instead she’s a self-proclaimed realist. even after being turned into a magical girl, she doesn’t completely disbelieve it or fall into the illusion of a perfect magical life. she does tests to make sure she isn’t dreaming / hallucinating, weighs up the pros and cons, and makes her decision based on that. she does lean more towards cynicism, but ultimately she’s pretty accurate in calling herself a realist.

as ripple’s given more screentime, we start seeing other sides to her. she cares deeply for top speed, although she finds that difficult to admit. when she’s alone she’ll do cute or dramatic things just for the fun of it. she’s honest, even when in situations where it would be easier to lie, and is very hard-working.

in her backstory, we find out why she is the person she is. she finds emotions difficult to deal with ( both her own and other people’s ) due to the emotional neglect & manipulation of her mother. she distrusts people in general due to mistreatment by her peers and step-father. she’s independent and doesn’t get along well with others because that’s what she’s always had to be.

in the death game, top speed and ripple are the only ones who continue trying to gather magical candy aside from snow white & co. they take neither the high ground nor the low ground, just doing the thing that makes the most logical sense.

during her fight against calamity mary, ripple reveals that she does care for the town she lives and and the people who live there. she may not like them as individuals, but as a group she wants to protect them. ripple doesn’t see herself as a hero, but she knows how to be heroic when the situation calls for it.

after top speed’s death, ripple is obviously upset about it. i dont really think i need to go into too much detail here because everything around this is fairly self-explanatory.

ripple wants to kill swim swim more than anything to get revenge for top speed. she knows it’s selfish and that she isn’t acting on top speed’s wishes, but she doesn’t care. however, after she kills swim swim and realises how young she was ripple regrets it.

by the time snow white raising project comes around, ripple has fully accepted that there was no reason for swim swim to die. she still doesn’t like her, but she regrets her actions. part of the reason ripple doesn’t accept the land of magic’s invitation to heal her injuries is to remind herself not to go that far again.

ripple no longer wants to fight. she’s calmed down a lot since the death game. after everything that’s happened, she wants to be able to rest. however, she stays around for the sake of snow white.

ripple sees snow white as her responsibility to keep safe, but more than that she also sees snow as a good friend. at this point, snow white is the most important living person in ripple’s life. she’s the only person left who went through the death game with her and honestly, ripple would do anything to keep her safe.

ripple is so focussed on snow’s safety that she initially refused to teach her how to fight. she’s afraid of losing snow in the same way she lost top speed. in fact, the reason that ripple is so easily manipulated by frederica in swrp is because of how much she cares for snow. frederica can see that ripple wants the best for her and uses that to her advantage.

we don’t really know too much about what happened between swrp and limited, but the little information that we do know shows that ripple made huge changes.

in limited she mentions how she went out to meet new magical girls to build a pool of contacts so she could start working for the land of magic. ripple is being friendly and helping strangers with their problems. she even compares her attitude to top speed’s- this is such a huge change from who she was in unmarked!

in limited itself, ripple volunteers to help the investigation team. she fights alongside them and she trusts them. hell, she even tells mana to be more trusting.

ripple’s instant distrust of strangers is gone. she doesn’t trust everyone she meets, but she knows how to trust her instincts. she’s had enough bad experiences to pick up on red flags and to determine who’s trustworthy and who isn’t.

she even manages to talk to kuru-kuru hime while she’s crying without wanting to punch her which, i mean, is a huge improvement from unmarked ripple who was openly disgusted by sister nana’s displays of emotion (granted, the situations were slightly different)

when given the opportunity to let rain pou kill frederica, ripple doesn’t take it. she’s against taking underhanded tactics. ripple’s turned into the type of person who will take the moral high ground and wants to do the right thing. she’s determined to follow in snow white’s footsteps and not become the type of person that she fights against.

of course, this turns out to be a mistake considering what happens next...

what ripple does under brainwash isn’t really relevant to who she is as a person so i’m not going to go into that here, and there’s not really enough information about post-queens ripple to go into that in any detail.

anyways, i think this is all im here to say today

my point is, there’s more to ripple than anger and ‘tch’ing. even unmarked ripple is more than that, and i want more people to be able to appreciate her character!

that being said, she’s not the most misunderstood character in the series. im so sorry for how people see you, quake

#ooc #[ this got so long this is why i shouldnt be allowed to write things like this #BUT UH #ok #now ill get to replies hjas ]

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notesfromthepen · 6 years