#but it’s associated with a lot of trauma

[sarafinamk]

Fallen Angel (Smiling Critters Space Riders AU Reader Insert) Part 3

Summary: Without the red smoke to help you through rehab, you begin to experience thoughts and feelings that you never had before. It gets worse before it gets better, but don't worry. It DOES slowly get better.

Check out the other parts here. Also, check out Part 2 to my Incorrect Quotes if you haven't already. The Smiling Critters Space Riders AU belongs to @onyxonline. Enjoy!

TW: Mentions of Blood, Mentions of Injury, Imprisonment, Trauma, Death mentions, Mentions of murder, Religious Trauma, Religious Imagery and Symbolism, Religious Cults, Drug Withdrawal, Drug Addiction, Mentions of Self harm, Mention of Suicide Attempt, Mental Health Issues, Slight cursing, LOTS of negative thoughts, Implied Abuse, Conditioning

----------

You weren’t sure how long you’ve been imprisoned at the heretics’ main space station for. Based on the lines scribbled in your journal, and what those healers and heretics told you, the closest timeline you could estimate was a month and a half…

Could be more…

In your defense, being in and out of consciousness because of not only healing from your wounds but dealing with your hellish headspace gave you no chance of keeping track. You weren’t sure if you TRULY wanted to know how long it’s been though…

Some of your wounds, at least, have healed. If you weren’t wearing those power mufflers, all your wounds would have disappeared a long time ago. But, no.

Those heretics just HAD to insist you heal the hard way. It is bad enough that those healers and their knights were watching your every move on the cameras. There was no nook or cranny in your accommodation that wasn’t under constant surveillance. They didn’t even try to be discreet about them. What’s worse is that now you had your whole body, head, and face exposed, especially to the people hellbent on killing you. They didn’t even deserve to have a face to associate with the Archangel. It was for your own good, they said. All that did was leave you with voices in your head screaming at you to get out, run, and hide from those prying eyes.

So what if there were a few instances where you tried to scratch yourself until you were satisfied with the red on you? You just needed a way to stop yourself from feeling these weird feelings. It’s leaving you weak. What would the Prototype say if he saw you showing such weakness when you were raised better than this? The scratching never went as far as it did the first time, though and it would never be like that ever again. Not on the heretics’ watch. They would always intervene before the first sign of red.

You spent a lot of time thinking about the perfect escape plan. You would get those power mufflers off, destroy those cameras the first chance you get, create a void, (maybe kill a few heretics along the way to send a message), and make an easy escape back to the prototype. It’s just… you could never muster any energy to go through with your ideas. You hated that you grew so lazy and weak when no prison was able to keep you contained in the past.

What happened to you?

Where was your energy to fight back, to make those heretics pay for what they’ve done to you…?

But…

Why save you?

Probably to interrogate you, torture you for ALL the intel concerning your God, and once they get everything, kill you. They can sure as hell try, but you’d rather die than betray your God and family like this!

You groan, cradling your pounding head with one hand. You slide down against the wall. Even though you've been clean for some time now, but you're still trying to get used to this red smoke free headspace of yours. Now you're just left sitting with thoughts and feelings you never had to sit with before, and you hated how much it consumes you. You wished you had the red smoke to help you through this, to make you forget these feelings, to go back to normal. But the Prototype never came back for you… no rescue parties were made for you as far as you know.

A few healers and knights argued that if he really wanted you back, he would’ve come get you by now, but he didn’t, and none of your “friends or family” did either, so you might as well get used to being here. You reminded them every single time that you don’t have “friends” nor are you selfish enough to need any. The Prototype was all anybody needed. You had that argument about 26 times before you stopped. There was no point in continuing this fight if they just refused to see any sense.

You hated to admit it, but...

Maybe they're right.

Not once, in the entire time since you’ve been separated from the Prototype was he there when you needed him the most. Your chest and the back of your eyes burn. Your vision goes blurry. You clench your blanket draped around your shoulders and take a few deep breaths until the burning sensation is smothered, and your vision clears up. You are NOT going to let weakness consume you.

Not now.

Not ever.

Not as long as you’re at the mercy of the heretics.

----------

Here you are, three months deep into your rehab program, sitting on the floor, and studying another one of Bubba’s “philosophy books” as he called them. He gave you some so that "you weren’t left pacing back and forth in a cell or being stuck with your thoughts all day." Granted you do try to do a few exercises to build your strength back. You discovered it was the best way to distract your mind from the mere thought of desiring red smoke. At least the books give you more to do in your cell.

To you, it was all heretic propaganda to stray the weak-minded away from the divine truth. It was still intriguing to study about, all the same. Besides, if you're going to be staying with the heretics, then now is a good time to start learning about their world and culture. As much as you hate to admit it, you're beginning to understand why many heretics find these kinds of teachings appealing. Not only does it go against everything the Prototype preaches, but there were so many teachings to choose from. How do the heretics even know which teachings are true? How do they know which teachings they should follow for the rest of their lives?

It was all so strange.

Back home, there is only one absolute truth: everything that happens in the galaxy is thanks to the Prototype. He’s the eternal source of happiness, of wisdom, of strength, of a second chance at life. He is in control of all. He gives his people his gifts, and in turn, they serve him. They devote their lives to him. To not believe in this truth would mean certain death.

In the heretic world, it seems it is up to the individual to shape the world in their image. Apparently, to discover the truth, you have to be willing to question everything. But how do these heretics expect to survive if they're expected to find their own happiness? How can they be trusted to take control of their lives when they don't fully know whether they made the right decision or not? How are they able to peacefully co-exist despite their differing beliefs?

Perhaps it's something you can clarify with the Space Riders when they come in for yet another visit. They've visited you quite frequently, but it was all so strange. They never asked you anything about the Prototype or the cult. In fact, the topic of conversation was always about… you. They would ask what you have been doing in “rehab” as they call it, how you are managing your red smoke cravings, what you have learned, how are the books (in Bubba’s case), and possible arrangements that are to be made once you are back in their custody. When they exhausted those topics, then they would make conversation with you...

Er...

...More like they would TRY to make conversation with you and you would give short answers. Sometimes, you wouldn't say anything at all. They never forced you to speak, nor did they ever punish you for being insubordinate. Instead, they just moved on to a different topic. This was something you never understood, but maybe they just want you to let your guard down long enough before punishing you.

The echoing of footsteps gets louder and closer to your cell, pulling you away from your thoughts. The seven Space Riders greet you, make themselves comfortable in front of your cell, and begin with the usual questions about you. You bite the bullet and decide you might as well entertain them.

#poppy playtime dogday #dogday #poppy playtime catnap #poppy playtime smiling critters #poppy playtime 3 #poppyplaytime au #poppy playtime #poppy playtime chapter 3 #catnap #space riders au #smiling critters au #onyxriders #hoppy hopscotch #kickinchicken #picky piggy #bubba bubbaphant #craftycorn #bobby bearhug #platonic #x reader #smiling critters x reader #poppy playtime x reader #gn reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader #angst #hurt/comfort #recovery #platonic relationships #smiling critters

[nocturnalazure]

OC Deep Dive Questionnaire Tag

A set of 20 questions to get to know your OC!

I was tagged by @bool-prop and I will do Romeo this time. :)

What uncommon/common fear do they have?

Romeo is still traumatized by his father so he will always be scared of being "exposed" (as a fraud, as a gay man or as a pushover).

Do they have any pet peeves?

He is a pretty tolerant and patient person, but he can't stand queue-jumping. That, and weak coffee.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

Novels, vintage posters and shoe polish.

What do they notice first in a person?

If their smile is fake or real.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

He's got a pretty high pain tolerance, but he doesn't realize it. Pain he would rate as 5 would actually be 8 for most people. He seriously underestimates his own suffering.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

He is not a fighter. He will fight if he has to, but his first instinct is to run away.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

Loaded question for him. He is an only son and he loves his mom (even if she's "not quite there" sometimes). But his father gave him so many trauma, he's not sure he could be a good father to little Vin. He definitely wants to try though, even if they are not a typical family.

What animal represents them best?

A sheep. In the Chinese Zodiac, 羊 is an animal that shares a lot of common traits with him (mild-mannered and gentle but also wary and anxious). However, it can also be translated as ram or goat... a horned animal. You could say that Romeo has hidden horns.

What is a smell that they dislike?

The cologne his father used to wear. That smell will always be associated with fear.

Have they broken any bones?

Broken leg when he was a kid, and broken ribs because of his father...

How would a stranger likely describe them?

Unassuming and well put together. Seems to think more than he says.

Are they a night owl or a morning bird?

Neither. He just tries to get enough sleep.

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

He doesn't like radicchio, and he loves anything with lemon in it.

Do they have any hobbies?

Making limoncello, winetasting and collecting vintage posters. Oh, and cooking!

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises?

He'd be very moved if it comes from people he is close to. No one ever threw him a party or gave him a surprise gift.

Do they like to wear jewelry?

He used to wear a wedding ring but not anymore. As a whole, he doesn't like jewelry, he thinks it's gaudy.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

His handwriting is a narrow but legible scrawl.

What are two emotions they feel the most?

Guilt and shame.

Do they have a favorite fabric?

Linen. If only it weren't so easily crumpled!

What kind of accent do they have?

Italian, naturalmente.

Taking the lazy way and not tagging anyone this time.

#sims 3 story #oc ask #character development #romeo pastorini

[reimeichan]

I've been slowly learning to reclaim things that I love for myself. So many of my hobbies and passions are tainted by history: piano was forced upon me as a child and was a huge source of trauma by itself, dance was fun until my teacher started shit talking me about my weight, even photography sucks because it's something my parents enjoyed and god forbid I turn out anything like them.

But I'm teaching myself to decouple the past from these activities. I acknowledge the trauma associated with piano, and also that I miss playing pieces I enjoy. I allow myself time to hammer around when I can and to take breaks as long as I need to, to make the music making enjoyable in a way it never was for me as a child. I learn new dances from youtube, and giggle when I get the moves right. I still can't record myself, but I'm re-learning that my body shape has nothing to do with my ability. And while I still don't take a lot of pictures, the people around me do and I'm starting to associate picture taking with them instead of my parents. I guess this, too, is a part of healing.

#mental health #trauma #ptsd #cptsd #ask to tag #cw body image #since it was mentioned figured I should tag it #by purple #by gray

[notedchampagne]

I think I agree that fandom super girlbosses Ianthe's fuckery and infantilizes Harrow, I just question if those depictions are meant to make Harrow less/ degrade her, or make her more relatable to the given creator. Fandom has a nasty problem of really leaning into tragedy and trauma as a way to relate to characters more. I think I just see this emphasis on Harrow's suffering, and by extension the riffing on it, as the fandoms take on affection. "I like you, I relate to you, and this darkness inspires me to draw/ write/ etc." Which is still fucked but I'm just not sure if its entirely racial. Like, respectfully look at your depictions thus far, Harrow is a bit of a lovable mess and Ianthe is barely there but still a girlboss (we all know she's a mess too but it takes up a lot less space). Couldn't anyone say you too are focusing in on Harrows flaws? Isn't this part of the pull, to watch Harrow grow we have to start somewhere? And we love your Harrow, and some kids (especially people just picking up fandom lingo) turn to really shitty "feral rat freak child" compliments because that may just be the way they feel comfortable with engaging (and maybe how they feel complimenting the things they see themselves in, but I'm speculating). Again its shitty fandom is so anti earnest compliments but if race does play a part I just think its significantly less then we may initially believe.

yeah i see your point! i make it a challenge for myself to capture harrows complexities and sorrows to invite nuance into the discussion - and a lot of people have said that she is relatable, and im glad the connection goes through. its why im not actively mad at everyone that calls her a wet cat here and there simply because its easier to say than "she looks so sad and i want to wrap her in a blanket and put her in a warm place about it". but you dont really see people calling the sixth or judith, who are also tragic and relatable, as "goblins" or "feral things". race might play less of a part in it like you said but i still think its significant when it comes to general perception: if someone recommended tlt to me and described harrowhark as "the wettest most feral batshit skrunkly [more adjectives that sound like she straight up cannot take care of herself]", then if i read it and saw that she was a mentally ill maori girl, i would be upset that shes associated with those traits. again this is just a personal thing and it does vary case by case but your input is good

#talking back

[buffyspeak]

seelies seem to have a really interesting place in the downworld/shadow world has a whole. they’ve been shown to work more closely than other downworld factions with shadowhunters in the past (early season one springs to mind), but they’re certainly no totally trusting of or trusted by the shadowhunters, so not all this is to say they don’t face any discrimination. valentine being willing to make a deal with her when he hates downworlders so much seems so strange… except for the fact that seelies have angel blood AND demon blood. with his (obviously very wrong and distorted) ideas about purity of angel blood, does that make him trust her more? is this interaction a microcosm of the shadowhunters perspectives on seelies in general? much to think on.

it’s also not lost on me that warlocks and seelies are both born with magic and into the downworld as they are. there’s intergenerational trauma attached to the history of warlocks (and i’m VERY curious about seelies on that front), but there’s no trauma associated with the transformation. they’re never ripped away from their lives the way that werewolves and vampires are.

#shadowhunters rewatch 2023 #the seelie queen #valentine morgenstern #downworld politics #clave politics #actual the existence of jonathan raised a fascinating question #born as a shadowhunter #injected with demon blood #even has an association with plants and controlling them #does that technically make him a seelie? in some ways he has more in common with a seelie than many shadowhunters #but i think saying he Is a seelie oversimplifies it by a lot #because a big point of his character is showing how traumatizing and toxic #rigid ideas of What Makes You Who And What you are #can be #because he’s also raised with shadowhunter ideas and principles and trained to fight like one! #his change may happen when he’s too you ng to remember #but it’s associated with a lot of trauma #and taking him away from the life he’d otherwise have had #it’s interesting

[chipper-smol]

When no one is looking...

#lmk #lego monkie kid #lego monkey kid #sun wukong #six eared macaque #shadowpeach #myart #fanart #ok so I have a headcanon that inspired this whole thing #and hopefully with this added context it'll make the piece a whole lot better :3c #So because Macaque died #he probably runs at a lower body temperature (akin to a corpse some days) #and struggles to feel warmth #Wukong on the other hand definitely has trauma associated with extreme heat #ie: being force fed red hot iron pellets and molten copper #being cooked in the trigram furnace for 49 days #and being scorched by the samahdi fire #so in the middle of a blistering hot summer day #they begrudgingly get attracted to eachother like magnets #Wukong bringing warmth to Macaque #and Macaque bringing relief to Wukong #balancing eachother out #but ofc they're still dumb about it #wouldn't be shadowpeach if they were angry about being exactly where they wanted to be :3c #thANK YOU for reading this far in the tags #I hope you enjoy the art

[khaire-traveler]

I think there is a lot of power in Ariadne's tale, actually, and I feel like that reflects on who she is as well. She went through a fucking awful situation, left behind by the love of her life - IN HER SLEEP, BY THE WAY - to die alone on the island of Naxos with no way to leave. Dionysus found her and offered her a new life, and not only is that a beautiful display of love, but it's also a beautiful display of Ariadne's personal strength. She pushed through the struggles of her past and learned to trust and love and live again. She must've had to build from the bottom up, healing from the pain of the past, and she fucking did it! She did it and succeeded and lived happily with her god husband who literally made her a crown of stars, and that's fucking awesome, and I just think that's a really beautiful and highly underrated part of Ariadne's story: her journey of healing that she took after being left by Theseus.

#i wonder if you all are going to think I'm insane and grasping at straws lmao #it's my personal interpretation #it's why i like to personallt associate Ariadne with tigers #because you know shes a badass with lots of inner strength #and she inspires me because goddamn it if she can find happiness after trauma #so fucking too can i #ariadne deity #ariadne #helpol #hellenic polytheism #hellenic pagan #greek mythology

[rizaposting]

been thinking a lot about my royai kid ideas lately but i don't think a lot of people will like them because i don't name the kid after maes lol

#and also I focus more on riza's traumatic upbringing rather than only addressing roy being sad about maes #also it's 03royai usually #crystal convos #i have my own personal bias against the idea of their baby being named after maes #in part because i dont think the wound will ever be healed enough for roy to be able to not associate it w the pain of losing his friend #i also cannot explain just how much the idea of naming my own child directly after my dead sister makes me want to die so. pure projection #i think my problem with a lot of royai kid stuff is that riza has an explicitly traumatic childhood in her background and no one explores i #because they're so focused on roy struggling with feeling like he can never measure up to hughes--which is fine but WHAT ABOUT RIZA #One aspect abt Riza's trauma that I explore with my royai kid stuff is the theme of alchemist fathers and their children they abuse/neglect #Riza herself; Nina Tucker; the Elrics... And now she is having an alchemist's child

[ccarrot]

extremely petty example of the 'one versus the other' soukoku headcanons that i mentally hate on for no particular reason and immediately stop paying attention:

dazai prefers hyper-sweetened not-coffee where chuuya likes it black.

^^ i disagree!!! not really because i think the reverse. I honestly think both of them would really enjoy sugary food

#honestly there's something about bsd characters and sweet food #sweets are associated with love and happiness and childhood <3 #ranpo liking only the redbean in the zenzai . kyouka and her crepes.. yosano's childhood at a confectionary store before the war trauma hit #actually ranpo and his fix for candy ties to his more cheerful and childish personality. #the sugar-love relationship applies to chuuya too actually: Adam giving him bubblegum to cheer him up after the funeral. #chuuya being a wine liker too. wine is definitley a lot more palatable that whisky or vodka #ahh this was just a spontaneous thought dump #been thinking abt donut shop au 2 day. it's like. about how having good friends and some good food and a nice mental breakdown can save you

[lobotomyladylives]

I think bpd is a bullshit stigmatizing label thrown at women to pathologize what is very obviously a response to prolonged childhood trauma and would be better labeled as C-PTSD. that being said my god I am bpd as fuck

#my sister just snapped at me bc i said i dont want to do a ton of physical labor for the job she signed me up for which apparently does i #in fact involve a lot of it. and her being mad for even that moment sent me spiraling so badly & i had the reaction i often do where #i start hating both her & myself terribly & want to isolate forever #i think she hates her new job & is taking it out on me but it doesnt matter bc i cant handle being yelled at #and the fact thst it took me till adulthood to realize thats bc i associate it with my father is crazy. yeah its just the cptsd like #everything else. and whats nutso is how i continue to think my trauma Wasnt Bad Enough for ptsd . #just bc he didnt beat the shit out of or molest me i feel like i dont even have a right to be this fucked up #not that it was only him. being bullied at school really did not help. i guess now that i think about it the problem is that until #i was a teenager i literally did not feel emotionally secure anywhere. home or school. always the ticking of a bomb in the bg #the inevitable moment my dad blew up over nothing or i overheard my peers talking about what a freak i was #i dont know why it still hurts to think about. im so far removed from it my life now couldnt be more different #well thats the stupid fucking thing about childhood isnt it. those are your very first experiences with the world & other ppl #i do know my view of romantic relationships was irrevocably poisoned by my parents & that is never going to be undone. so cool

[druidshollow]

"what would your character be like without their trauma?" is such a hard question for me because it makes me feel like a massive asshole LMAO

(im attaching a picture of a tundra literally to add context to my ramble in the tags because my posts are structured by a sane person) (you should read the ramble in the tags i talk so much about rivers fsr)

#like. rivers would probably just purpose funky things for the hell of it and study lizards and stuff #i think environmentalism would matter to him since he was created long before the great equalizer when there was like. actually a view #have you guys ever looked at a tundra for real theyre so pretty. i think the colours would be funkier though #purples and blues along with the reds and oranges i think but id have to draw it tio be sure its not ugly #anyways. rivers would probably be interested in nature conservation especially since the ancients destroyed the world- #but the iterators construction obviously had a massive part in that so hed feel ownership #him and glass wouldve got along VERY well in this circumstance since that matters a lot to her (specifically animal conservation though) #but at the same time glass doesnt exist without rivers trauma right. she cant exist if flowers isnt in his life because he Literally built #her (glass) just to be mean to rivers #doomed for real #i....... want them to be friends in the walky au. my massive block is trying to think of some reason nights Needs to leave his can because #he wouldnt if not required. and glass just wouldnt leave him. in no circumstance would they willingly separate from eachothers company #theyd ALSO need to be really fast because the only opportunity nights would get to get out is when odyssey goes to him to help her build #the weapon she needs to kill dune. (odyssey has the gift. the twins dont know anyone else who does((other than phrases obvsly))) #this happens a considerable amount of time after phrases and rivers escape. they have like. a month's time on them #odysseys like “if you guys are for real about leaving do NOT go straight south. dont. dont. dont. youre like 2 feet tall you WILL die” #nights is like “DEAR GOD SERIAL KILLERS??????” and glass is like “wtf youre only like a foot taller than us” #anyways i think glass and rivers would get along and rivers has a positive arc here right and realizes hes wrong and hes glad he didnt. #kill the twins. yeah its good you didnt do that dude #i jsut really really think theyd get along if rivers had the chance to associate her with anything but flowers horrid treatment of him #because in the normal story all he sees when he sees her is flowers. and like flowers could the twins can tap into his work and see his #files and logs and such whenever they wanted. they didnt do this very often- glass really never looked at rivers work unless she was told t #but rivers was just made SO paranoid by flowers abuse that thinking of being watched makes him feel sick and horrible #and his whole thing is trying to find a way to feel less horrible right so thats (part of) why he decides to get rid of them #hm. if rivers wassnt traumatized hed like nature and creatures. anyways #oc posting #look to the tags for the oc posting

[my-current-obsession]

My hyper-specific type when it comes to otome guys:

- Absolutely pathetic - Cannot speak to a girl normally to save his life - Tries to be calm/aloof, but turns tsundere when flustered enough - A good and pure man at heart, yet does some questionable things - ...Little Red Riding Hood???

#heart fragment #taisho x alice #otome #doofenshmirtz voice: if i had a nickel for every time i fell in love with a video game guy heavily associated to little red riding hood... #..i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice! #i made this post basically as a way to announce i played heart fragment recently. and uh. it's REALLY GOOD #i probably do love clive the most (and i was immediately interested/biased considering his similarities to Red) but... #the rest of the cast is great too! I ADORE shannon and i am beyond ready to figure out what jasper's deal is #and honestly i'm into the mystery and the strained family relationship aspects too. just great writing all around even beyond the romances #this is one of Those Games that messes with you and the more you play it the more it sneaks new creepy stuff in #whatever the hell is going on with inigo in the dreams is unsettling. and i love it. #but seriously i'd recommend this to any otome fan and ESPECIALLY taiali fans considering the similarities go far beyond just this #you like fairy tales? you like exploring psychological issues and trauma? this is the game for you #also you can date guys AND girls which is a rare treat! again - i LOVE shannon. i just... love clive even more #but to be fair i think the hangup is that no matter what you're very close and friendly with shannon #so even if you don't romance her you still have a great relationship with her regardless #meanwhile with clive he's starting as a stranger and you basically have to be a jerk to him or blow him off which hurts my heart #and also clive seems to fall kind of fast and hard for you so the relationship developing in a romantic direction just feels. right IMO #i can accept being just besties with shannon (even though I definitely still love her romance outcomes) #but it pains me to spurn clive's affections #on an unrelated note i do intend to post my thoughts (basically a review) of winter's wish: spirits of edo #but i want to finish getting the sorrow endings for CGs and lore which means a second run through several routes

[yourheartinyourmouth]

people will really be like “I understand that you’re neurodivergent, but it’s inconveniencing me so could you just be normal?”

#and then they claim they’re not ableist at all 🙃 #adhd #neurodivergent #fml #oh sorry my crippling developmental disorder isn’t convenient for your life #let me just completely rearrange the frontal lobe of my brain #because GODS FORBID you be INCONVENIENCED #I’m soooo sorry I can’t be a fully autonomous and completely self-sustaining machine #and that sometimes I am not capable of being a fully functioning self sufficient adult and I need a lot of help #so sooooo sorry about my inherited genetic condition and the associated trauma I have from it #I’ll just go kms to save you the TROUBLE of sometimes being INCONVENIENCED by me

[bonafidehero]

Photos I took of my pets as a child in the 90s

#it’s so hard to look at these photos #I’m hoping maybe putting them here will help me face the pain and trauma associated with them #I think it’s especially painful because they were all such sweethearts #actual angels who were so gentle and patient with baby me #if i could go back in time and save all of them I fucking would 😭 #max the malamute 🖤 #best boy in the world he was such a good dog #my cousins family gave me him as a puppy #the torties were named Romeo and Juliet (even tho they were both boys 🤣) #(yeah boy torties are from the same litter! idk what happened! 🤣) #Garfield was the orange cat (and mama to the torties) #best girl in the world so sweet. she was almost completely deaf and blind #German shepherd was buddy #sweet playful boy 🖤 #I didn’t get to know him very well because he (all my pets did) lived with my dad and at that point I stopped going to his house a lot #bear was the rottie #sweet boy he died really tragically my dad loved animals but was fucking stupid sometimes #and the black puppy… also died really tragically. never even lived long enough to get a name. #some of these might be pushing into 00-4 maybe #the ones of buddy are probably from then because I’m pretty sure we got him while I was in middle school #I drafted this post a few months ago and honestly doing this + writing about them really did help me process my feelings towards them #so now I’m ready to share :) #I just love the idea of seeing the world through a child’s eyes #this is what little me thought was important! lol

[commsroom]

it's the right of every socially isolated weirdgirl to find at least one mythical creature to make a part of her personality and i think hera's would be selkies. but she could also be a mermaid girl.

#wolf 359 #w359 #hera wolf 359 #she makes me so sad. i want her to be less sad #she deserves the safety and freedom to have normal interests. to develop fondness for some things and petty dislike for other things #and generally just Experience Things. #i have feelings about this in the context of. what trauma and disability and transness can feel like they've taken from you #it's about having things you thought could only be for other people. and making up for lost time. #and anyway hera and the ocean is already such a strong association #i think she would resonate with selkie stories. not necessarily in the literal content of them but more in #that they're about autonomy and control. other people trying to decide who you are and how you should live. #and they're about freedom. #hera has a concept of the ocean but i feel like she would be so struck by the real thing. she finds so much beauty in space but she's never #gotten to see the beauty on earth. i think she might like earth a lot more. once she does. #and animals!! she has never seen animals. i want her to see a wild seal i think she would be enchanted by them

[iwatcheditbegin]

Idk what is up with Swifies this era but we’ve seen fans stalk her / make livestreams when she’s seen in public, chase after her car, speculate on very invasive things, harass her exes, and blatantly tell her “no, I know your traumas better than you and I’ll do what I want”…It’s all so toxic

Y’all do all that and still demand more content from Taylor.

Really kinda proves some of these folks don’t see her as a person.

#I know we are generally a cringe fandom but I don’t remember it ever being this bad #and yes I’m gonna continue to blame tiktok for a lot of this #this is why gatekeeping is good #that’s one of my biggest issues with this jm reaction pll acting like they know more about her traumas and forcing her to be associated #I still remember swiftok making all these theories about that scarf and her virginity- stop it’s weird #Sara rambles #swiftiephobic