#but like a) I know there's people i forgot and im really really sorry about that

[dennisboobs]

plain and simple i am not going to be able to remain in this fandom long-term if i have to keep putting disclaimers on every single one of my posts that say i don't condone dennis' bad, bad actions and that i am in fact aware he's got a history of sexual assault and dubious/nonconsent. the entire gang has done heinous shit. why is dennis the only one who needs to be treated like this? if some rando wants to post about how dennis is pookie pie that doesn't automatically mean they're blind to his crimes. every single member of the gang is a piece of shit. that's kind of the point.

draw dennis with cat ears who give a shit

#ada speaks #i'm not vagueing this is a constant thing ive experienced #i still have angry anons sitting in my askbox mad that i didn't explicitly condemn him last time i got into this #i'm really not a fan of the tension in the fandom the last few days #and like. i know its a hot button issue rn. everyone's going back and forth abt mac and dennis' SA #but this fandom genuinely does have an issue SPECIFICALLY MENTIONING things mac does to dennis and uwu-ifying them #when they are explicitly classified as SA in canon (which is an actual present issue i think needs to be addressed) #rather than like. just the mere MENTION of dennis outside of his SA is somehow condoning his actions #im sorry but i really do not feel the need to constantly talk about him assaulting women #everyone knows. everyone sees it. just bc i am dissecting other parts of his character does not mean i forgot he's a horrible person #it just means im trying to understand where he's coming from (which obviously does not change the facts.) #viewing dennis as a person with unresolved trauma stemming from elsewhere doesn't negate the damage he is doing to other people #he's not a real person where humanizing him does tangible damage #so i am going to continue to look into shit. when i talk about the CSA he went through it's not a justification. #but it does explain his actions in a character motivation type way which is what i am interested in #seeing what makes him tick #i think most people who follow me understand this by now. but i also don't think shit we see him do constantly in canon needs bringing up. #it's the subtle stuff that ties everything together and i want to put it all together to solve a puzzle

[angry-roomba-army]

what if the journals ranging from jealousy to near worship weren't that bad what if it was just william's gay ass theater kid poetry about his crush that looked really bad to a divorced police officer without context. i don't actually think that's what happened its just fun to think about. like what if

#angry roomba whirrs #five nights at freddys #fnaf #william afton #william afton fnaf #fnaf william afton #do you think hes a cannibalism as a metaphor for love kinda guy or does he go for a more catholic guilty ohh my love is corruption angle #like i dont really know much about catholic gulit or catholicism in general cause im not a catholic but like ive seen the tumblr posts #and the gay religious fanart #oh shoot i forgot to tag willry #willry #willry fnaf #fnaf willry #ok done PHEW #so anyway like what would a divorced police officer know about romance? firstly hes a cop secondly hes divorced so clearly not much #and we all know william hes theatrical hes a romantic or at least he seems like the romantic type im kinda jumping to conclusions here #so he would write gay ass theater kid poetry about his crush! he would! #and then when some normie ass unpoetic cop reads his DIARY of course hes not gonna understand the poetic passages dedicated to his love #like HELLO????? thats not ““““raving”””” its a SOLILOQUY come on man #and! he read his DIARY. like idc that he was investigating a murder you! dont! read! peoples! diaries! #if i were will and someone read my diary i would be so horrified like im surprised that HE wasnt the one who built a suicide bot after that #also! if you picked a random ass average target goer probably likes golf or something and showed them cannibalism as a metaphor for love #poetry they probably wouldn't see the poetic devotion part of it i think that they might think that you're crazy #or maybe. im just severely underestimating the poetic literacy of the average golf playing target goer that could be true #but anyways maybe thats what happened between clay and will like clay saw his poetry and was like yeah this is weird #oh shit i just realized a lot of the contents of williams diary are just public knowledge now like at least a mention of the raving passage #has to be somewhere in the case file just for anyone to access. oh god they live in a small town too word travels fast ohhh crap #well he kind of brought it upon himself like idk maybe don't kill children and your diary won't be read #by poetically illiterate and romantically stunted divorced cops #sorry im yapping. im yap deprived i needed to yap cough cough yeah that's me coughing from how yap deprived i am cough cough cough

[arthur-r]

what’s really embarrassing is my roommate on the phone with his mom saying “yeah i’ve been getting really sloppy i haven’t cleaned in a week it’s terrible” and my side of the room is just like that. all of the time. and i feel guilty but he also hasn’t ever said anything to my face he moved my stuff some at the beginning of the year but has never talked to me about it and i’m also so fucking ill that i just cant really handle adding that to my list while trying to also not fail school. so here i am being a terrible person i guess. did i tell you guys about turtle-person. have i showed my bracelets. i’m gonna go to sleep but in the morning i need to show my bracelets

#help i have work tomorrow. i also feel sick and strange. wish me luck #the sun was around today which was incredible but also i think it gave me too much mental energy #cause for the first time in forever i had the brightness of spirit to go for a walk. but that’s not the same as having the blood flow for it #so i think i overexerted myself cause of being finally happy and mentally energized i forgot about being physically disabled #i also had to explain POTS to somebody today and she was literally like ‘oh is that the thing where you need to have salt’ and NO like #i do have a really high salt intake to cope with POTS. but that’s not the fucking thing yknow?? like no that’s not what the thing i have is #it has nothing to do with salt. salt is a fun little coincidence that it can help with water retention which in turn helps with POTS #and it raises blood pressure is i think the other reason? but anyway idk i would honestly rather she just not know about it than have like #that very particular tiktok version of it like i am so glad for internet knowledge being spread and stuff and i mean. i guess even the posts #that i’m about to complain about are good for making people feel like they’re not alone. so maybe it’s fine. but i was going to complain of #the videos that are like ‘‘that one POTS friend’’ and it’s just like. salty food. instead of like. having to sit down?? BEING FATIGUED?? #and like whatever. whatEVER but i wish it wasn’t getting conflated with one particular little way of treating it. even though i use that way #i don’t have needs-a-lot-of-salt-disease. like that’s not the point. that’s not the issue. it’s not a salt deficiency. salt just helps #and it doesn’t FIX it. it just helps. that’s all #ANYWAY EVERYTHING IS FINE. i feel sick though. but i’m gonna sleep and i’ll be fine #i miss before i had a job cause then i could sleep all day if i skipped class and it would be really nice. but now i have a job i would be #missing on my responsibilities for. and I don’t actually have accommodations. but im gonna sleep i’ll be fine #and library book cart is actually so rollator. like as far as being able to walk the library situation is such a win #anyway i’m gonna go to sleep now. but yeah idk i’m sick and a mess what else is new. but i have something whatever i’m good theres something #unrequited love for life or something like that. ok im gonna go to bed sorry for being weird and strange all the time!!!! #me. my post. mine. #delete later

[nicosraf]

I have to ask how you came up on the idea to write ABM? I just wanna know your thought process because I'm wildly intrigued. I'd love to know how you'd feel about a lesbian story between Lilith (Adam's first wife) and Eve which is what my story is about.

Hello! So usually I'm pretty secretive about all the stuff behind Angels Before Man and why it's like That, but I recently saw a tweet that wrongly assumed the motivations behind the book, and it upset me a bit, so I should probably finally go into detail about ABM's deal. Sorry if this answer is way too long.

1. Personal reasons: in 2016, I came out to my parents during a very rough period for my mental illness. It went very bad, and I ended up going to a therapist for a few month for, well, conversion therapy. This involved using a lot of Christian manipulation tactics ("God would not make you this way") and EMDR techniques that have done quite a bit of psychological damage to me. In 2021, while working with a new therapist, I had a "died and met God" nightmare, then developed an unhealthy obsession with the Bible as I processed what happened during conversion therapy. Another thing I need to mention is that my family are immigrants from an epicenter of the Mexican drug war, which exposed me to a lot of violence very young, and traumatized me in its own right; how I think about the violence we perpetuate on the people we love is something I just really wanted to write about, also. All this to say that ABM is just a convoluted allegory for trauma.

2. Theological reasons: during my obsession, I read the Bible in its entirety a couple times, and I developed a lot of questions about it, especially regarding angels and this Lucifer guy:

Why did Lucifer/Satan become evil? Ezekiel 28 is usually the passage people refer to that explains it (others argue this section isn't about Lucifer/Satan but let's assume for the sake of argument that it is). What's interesting about this section is the emphasis on the cherub's "blamelessness" (innocence! Lucifer's young innocence isn't talked about enough!!) and his beauty. I'm fact, his corruption is entirely linked to his beauty.

But what does beauty mean? To God? What is beauty before humanity? What is the purpose of it? How can you become corrupted by beauty? (For this, I looked at Ezekiel 16, where Jerusalem is corrupted by her beauty; this inspired quite a bit of the story of ABM as a whole, particularly regarding God's wrath)

What are angels for? What do they do? I asked a couple friends this and usually they answered that it was fighting demons and protecting humans, but there was a time before demons and before humans. (There was an "angels before man" if you will haha). This seemed to stump everyone I asked. Did they just worship? All the time???

Why does the Bible compare angels' submission to God to a wife's submission to her husband? (Well, that's a least an interpretation of 1 Corinthians 11:10). This is related to Jesus explicitly stating later that angels can't marry. Why not? It's especially weird, at this point, given the matrimonial relationship between Jesus and the Church, and God's own somewhat matrimonial relationship with Mary. So everyone can have a romantic/sexual/spousal union except the angels? Why can't angels love?

This isn't a question but it really strikes me that Michael's only line of dialogue in the entire Bible is in the book of Jude and just as a reference to a time when he allegedly argued with Satan and said "Lord rebuke you." Ah. Michael. That brings me to the last major question I'll mention.

What was Michael and Lucifer's relationship? Something really cute is that everyone I harassed with my questions seemed to have this idea that they were best friends, that they really loved each other once. There's no scriptural evidence for it, and we only ever see them fighting, but it just seems like it makes sense, doesn't it? Strong, golden-hearted Michael and the beautiful, doomed Lucifer...

And of course the duality of God as both jealous and loving fascinates me. Even more so I'm fascinated by the concept of a lonely God. Jealousy, to me, only makes sense when you're insecure about love. How could an all-knowing God be insecure about love then? Maybe because he loves different than you, and he'll never have anyone who can love him the way he understands love (no matter how much he wishes, because he's a lone god)

Somehow all these questions came together and formed a story while I was outlining.

3. Technical reasons: I've been wanting to write a full novel that didn't follow the 5-act structure for a while. I wanted to write a novel that had no source of tension for a majority of the narrative (the source of tension early in ABM is just from the reader; you know what's gonna happen, but the book doesn't allude to it until about Chapter 11, and even then it's vague). I wanted to write a book that's radically differently paced in the second half. And I wanted to be a bit experimental stylistically (inspired by the Latin American Boom authors). Angels Before Man gave me all the opportunities to do this, I'm afraid.

Ultimately, Angels Before Man is really weird!! I'm both very happy and very shocked that people have enjoyed and understood it. I'm incredibly grateful when someone lets me know that my little self-published gay Satan book has been healing or cathartic to them. That's all I can really ask for tbh! Again, sorry for such a long answer, but I'm riled up about my intentions being misrepresented.

And finally, Lilith x Eve sounds really interesting!!! I have a lot of thoughts on the double creation of the sexes in Genesis (so, so, so many). I'd be ecstatic to see your take on it <3333 :)

#again im sorry this is SO LONG ASHDKNDD #yall dont want to know what that tweet said about me #lord #anyway #thank you so much for the ask!! i really appreciate it #angels before man #forgot to mention the lines in Paradise Lost where John Milton says angels love to have gay sex #the queer aspect to angel/demon media is another rabbit hole that Morgan Dante left a fantastic anaylsis about on the ABM goodreads page #check that out for sure #on the trauma thing: sometimes i get some pretty rude comments on how people dont like the direction the book went #its very okay not to like my book but please dont be rude to me fr #ask! #mine #realizing now that i forgot to mention the story of Sodom as well #ill save that for another post skkskaks

[lightfulonion]

thank you @skijjiki for tagging me!!!! i love these types of tagging games so much!!

last song: Tokyo Calling by ATARASHII GAKKO! (pls watch the music video. its so good 😭) im kind of, sort of, obsessed with this and i have been listening to it non-stop like my life depends on it. anyway

fav color: hmm im really feeling brown right now (wow! that sounds awful! im not changing my answer tho. brown rules.)

currently reading: im able to read only fanfics at the moment because anything that involves a book and new characters feels like too much work for me for some reason and also like im cheating at my classes in university. both of these suck big butt and i hate being like this but it's true. anyway please read a million times along the way by starsqwub. its a bokuaka fic, it hasnt updated since 2022 and it made me cry every chapter. its about love, its about friends, its about being a weird person in a normal world and, more importantly, its about bokuto and akaashi. oh! also manga like chainsaw man and toilet bound hanako-kun!! and some webcomics as well too.

currently watching: the wall mostly but also dungeon meshi! and ive been trying to be up-to-date with the one piece anime!!

spicy/savory/sweet: sweet <3

relationship status: i was reading a bokuaka fic and i was crying. take a wild guess.

current obsessions: listening to Tokyo Calling and ATARASHII GAKKO! apparently and im starting to feel like reading the ending of Haikyuu!! which is probably a bad thing?? (im scared. i really dont want it to end :'((( )

tagging: @livingonyoghurtandspite, @horson, @clementinethekitten, @pierogish, @alcieside, @mars-matrix, @peachybeesplease, @mangatxt.

#get tagged #guys. we get (got?) the movie this year. really scared to ask whats next. #i had goofy funny things to share but i forgot them while writing this im sorry u_u #i went home to my mom for a few days and i had 'the end of the beginning' by djo stuck in my head the whole time #and i visited my friends from high school and im kinda sad about the years passing. a quiet kind of sad but sad nonetheless. #like 'my childhood room is too small for me now' kind of sad and nostalgic #i have many things in my brain that are rolling around like pointy rocks and i need to get them out somehow without hurting myself #anyway #pretend i said something really funny and truly profound here instead of. whatever that is. #also i have listened to ATARASHII GAKKO!'s whole discography and its really really good #and i STILL havent been able to read bnha!! :(( #i havent been able to be up-to-date with chainsaw man or toilet bound hanako kun and i also NEED to read dungeon meshi AND haikyuu and- #i really love dungeon meshi so far. its so good and i got so excited on the last episode when they put falin's bones in order. that was #so cool. and the bath scene............ yeah. #if you dont want to do this guys is okay btw. im always saying this but i do need you to know because i feel anxious when i dont do them bu #also when i dont tag people. i dont want you to feel like that. #onion talks #ok thats all! bye bye!! hope you have a nice day!!!!! #Youtube

[intertexts]

hm.

#how do i tell my sister that while i appreciate the thought it is in fact not nicer if she takes the couch occasionally and lets me have my #room sometimes. first of all i HATE disruptions like this it's kind of even more distressing 2 be able 2 sleep in #my own room for one night and then i can't again!!! that sucks net zero!!! second of all She Has My Quilt.... trying very hard 2 be normal #and chill about this and not like it's one of the few things i really really really hate other people using & causes me distress etc. #also like i explicitly said 'hey haha don't do this please' & then she did anyway. which she does!!! i forgot about that!!! #also like man i dont fucking want to sleep on someone's used sheets & blankets that's gross. so im arguably less cosy than i would be. gggh #this all seems like.... very minor and stupid im sure however man im like constantly in a state of middling to severe distress over this #shit. because i in fact also hate people going through my shit or being in my room and also having no privacy however #im very good with suppressing and or masking how much i hate it usually!!!!! but dude she fucking hung her laundry & underclothes #to dry or air on top of my fucking books on my shelves. like. ghghhh hate it hate it cant SAY i hate it because of the everything!!! #ok. sorry. minor pressure cooker escape valve complaining over now im gonna go sleep awkwardly on top of the blankets on my own bed with #some throw blankets. leaving my door open for the beafts if she closes it in the morning bc she thinks she knows what i want ill scream. #txt #neg #this is like private kvetching btw ok i love her dearly it's just unbelievably frustrating.

[tombware]

seeing like a mini debate about ast*rion vs daer*n ar*ndae in regards of quality and i might be specifically seeing only one sides opinion because. i do not think Mr. D is more compelling. ultimately i think theyre quite different as well so idfk

#censoring because i dont want it to pop up in peoples searchs #i might be biased because of 1. d*erans terrible voice acting 2. i have a harder time feeling text-based scenes #i guess the argument is more in regards to their romances and yeah okay d*erans progresses more naturally/feels realer ill give him that #but also i feel like there are more limitations to making a game with proper cinematics. if its only text you have more leeway to make #a relationship progress better and feel more believable idfk #d*erans facetious pseudotsundere antics are very cute but. i will never get over astarions act 2 scene and the graveyard scene #and if you dont talk about their romances im sorry i think astarions storyline wins. #i will say i like the way daer*n words things a lot its quite yummy #basically i saw daer*ns romance and thought “ohhh cute” and forgot a week afterwards. but also hes too much of a young pretty boy for me #i do keep thinking about camellia though. i dont think shes well written but her ass' crazy #it was really cool that her romance's ending is that she fucking abandons you 32rwrgew love herrrrr #you know what im adding more tags because upon further reflection i think part of my opinion is informed by the fact that im not a romantic #so that d*erans romance is more romantic doesnt really affect my opinion because i romance characters to see more of them #not for the romance experience. so idk if thats why i disagree with so many people #do you know all those headcanons that want to make tav way more relevant in astarions life than theyre supposed to be? #i think my disapproval of that is kind of related to this as well. whys tav the bus driver all of a sudden. idc about them

[fearcicada]

Jonathan Sims and Aromanticism as being disconnected from and unrelatable to other children, As never being romantically interested in someone during your school years because you don’t have time for that nonsense, you’re focused on your studies, you don’t like spending time around others. As no one being romantically interested in you until college – at that point, do you even know what romance is? What it feels like? As dating someone because they like you – You might as well date Georgie, she’s interested in you, and you like her well enough as a friend. Is this what love is? As not being interested in sex either. What is there to define the difference between romantic and platonic feelings that doesn’t involve physicality? As going into asexual spaces and always seeing the “we may not like sex but we still love people and want relationships like anyone else!!!” takes. As already being closed off, rude, an acquired taste for most. When it’s already hard for most people to want to be your friend - romantic relationships seem even more unrealistic. Already having a lack of personal relationships in your life - not exactly helped by not being interested in most people’s idea of “romantic relationships.” As being less aware of things like flirting and romance than most (because of said lack of personal relationships your entire life). As being completely unaware of someone else liking you for months/years even when it seemed like, really really obvious to everyone else. As having less and less people around you who don't hate your guts or are dead and having the one person who doesn't hate you, wanting to date you? Like romantically? As feeling inhuman. As questioning your humanity. As trying to define your humanity through romance. As being green themed and covered in eyes and becoming the lynchpin of the apocalypse<333

#words #LOL when writing about how i ciew certain tma characters and their aromanticism i sometimes get so caught up in being like #umm is it problematic to write about an aro character who like #fits into various 'misconceptions' and 'stereotypes' about being aro?...even though im literally aro #and a lot of 'misconceptions/stereotypes/whatever r things people tend to actually think esp while figuring out they're aro LOL. like #this is just what various aspects kf jon remind me of...like what i think he'd think at different points regarding hir aromanticism. #in my head. he never really ''figured it out'' and ever labeled himself as aro throughout the events of tma or before. #he went into the apocalypse to murder elias and then get murdered by martin being like #im weird. im a weirdo. i dont fit in. im just like that. and then died #LOOL some of this is stuff thar i thoufht that kept me from just realizing i was aro too at the time lol #but i mean #jon is also just like that. TO ME!!! #sorry don't know why i feel the need to defend my decisions regarding my own damn thoughts on jon and aromanticism LOL #teehee this sounds so serious but like it really isn't this is just how jon turns out to me in my head. #but in reality this post is like teehee to me in my head. jon is aro because he is green and covered in eyes and a monster #muah muah #oh shit almost forgot #Jonathan sims #the Magnus archives #tma #aro #aromantic #lol #im sorry but jon questioning his humanity bc of his descent into becoming the archivist -> romance and love always being used in our #society as defining features of 'humanity' -> jon trying to define his humanity through various things thst don't ACTUALLY define humans #and are mostly arbitrary..

[atticcreationz]

We've reached the point in the season where I don't want to watch the Adventuring Party episodes until AFTER the ending, but good lord the physical restraint I will have to exhibit if any of the last few APs have even a whiff zoom energy...

#dimension 20 #and yes I chose the word whiff on purpose coz you can smell a zoom energy adventuring party coming - as we all know they reek of axe peace #but for real sometimes towards the end of a dimension 20 season i wanna just stay in the media res and not be in the meta yknow #i wanna stay in the fantasy and not know what the players are wondering or thinking of doing next i wanna be surpised yknow #and then i can go back after the ending breaks and mends my heart all at once and watch the APs for comfort ^^ #like im watching the bonus features that dont come out until the dvd is out u feel? #whelp wish me luck im gonna TRY block Adventuring Party as a tag but i have a feeling thats not gonna be full proof in the slightest #especially after that ending Emily on that wavelength and Brennan like wellllll funny you should mention those beads... #at first i thought they were the dice from the box of doom so i was like whaaaaaa we're really going there baba yaga knows dnd huh #neverafter #d20 #dimension 20 neverafter #neverafter spoilers #tagging spoilers just in case #in case people read these very long tags lol sorry #d20 adventuring party #adventuring party #like yall i didnt even watch the episode trailer at the end i shut that shit down right away and then i forgot id done that and #saw a post about murph next week and im like nooooo dont tell meeeeeeee

[princekirijo]

Since you've been talking about Riku quite a bit lately I was just wondering - are there any of your mutuals' ocs that you think he would get along well with?

Alright I've been putting this off for like. Two months now because I've been really nervous about it (a good nervous) but fuck it I'm just gonna get this done!!!

OK so the short answer is yes. I'll be 100% honest whenever a mutual posts about their OC I am IMMEDIATELY thinking about how they'd vibe with Riku. I can't help it I think about him 24/7 and to be honest I think it's actually a fun exercise that helps build up characters to imagine how he'd get on with other people.

The longer answer is tough because I don't want to ramble on too long and also I feel. silly. enough so I'm gonna just limit it to a few of my mutuals OCs. Readmore cause this got kinda long but also let me say that you should absolutely check out all the OCs I mentioned because they're so cool and well thought out and just amazing :]

So the first one is Nico (latenitewaffles) OC Katsuro Sanada who has been spinning around in my head ever since Nico introduced him. He's such a cool guy and I get excited whenever Nico posts about him!! Katsuro is an Akishinji kid so obviously with Riku being a Yukamitsu kid, these two would have grown up together. I think they'd balance each other pretty well!! From what I know of Katsuro he's a pretty chilled low energy dude, which honestly Riku needs because that boy is like a comet. Full of energy fr fr. I feel like Riku would have also had a much better time as a kid because he would have had someone very close to his age as a friend. There would be a period of time where the two would be in Kosei together and unfortunately I feel like they wouldn't spend much time together because Riku would have shut himself off from everyone while he was dealing with Hatanaka's bullshit and at the same time Katsuro had all the stuff with Nakada going on too. They'd def make it up to each other afterwards though :] Also Riku 🤝 Katsuro -> having weird ass dreams involving moons and coffins and green skies.

The second one I'm picking I'm cheating a little and picking two of Rui's (wildcard-rumi) OCs Tobei and Aki! If you wanna read more about them I'd highly recommend Rui's fic its so so good. I know there's more OCs in their Persona group but these would be the two I know most about. I think Riku would vibe with them pretty well too!! I know Tobei dislikes being pitied for his illness and I think Riku would kinda get that. He'd have to stop himself from checking in on him every two minutes because he just really cares about his friends but I think Riku would definitely encourage him to try new things, although maybe his high energy might overwhelm Tobei a bit... As for Aki well Riku would honestly vibe with him so much, he'd probably beg Aki to get him to teach him skateboard tricks... only for him to fail spectacularly because he was way too over enthusiastic about it. Also I found it kinda funny there's a place in the fic called Riku Park which is connected to the Labyrinth (which is the Shadow world of Rui's fic) and I think Riku would constantly refer to it as his park and would probably try and convince people he bought it. Just to see the look on their faces 💀

The third one then I'm picking is Asuka Misty (misty-wisp) OC! Another OC I've been rotating in my brain since Misty dropped this fic with her. Initially I think Asuka would be weary of Riku. Cause like Asuka is a very anxious person (for good reason too girl's going through it) and Riku is well. Riku "is anyone gonna rush head first into this dangerous situation" then doesn't wait for an answer Kirijo. However, I think because Asuka is really good at reading people, she'd probably be one of the few people to pick up on the fact that Riku's ego is just a front for how insecure in himself he actually is and eventually I think they'd be good friends :] Also I'm pretty sure Asuka gets on very well with Ann and well Riku gets on extremely well with Ann so the three of them would vibe well with Ann acting as kinda the middle ground between the two.

OK I think that's like. The main ones I can think of where I know enough about the OC to talk about the potential Riku dynamic. A few honorable mentions would be (yusuke-of-valla) Alto's OC Ryuko, both her and Riku are theatre kid nerds and would probably sing + gush about Musicals together, Gabe (elijah-terry) OC Yuuha again they both love dancing so they'd vibe with that and also they have a black mask AU and thats all I can think of for now. I know there's other OCs I'm missing so I'm really sorry about that >.< But this was a really fun ask to think out thank you anon :] and I hope I did all my mutuals' OCs justice....

#asks #anonymous #god. this was fun #im really sorry i didnt tag anyone i am just extremely awkward. #and like i love gushing about people's ocs!! trust me!! #but like a) I know there's people i forgot and im really really sorry about that #and b) because its how they interact with RIKU its like. idk i feel a bit silly #im so sorry here i am gushing about my mutuals awesome ocs and i dont even have the guts to tag them 😭 #but yeah go check everyone out their work is amazing <3 #and to anyone i did mention... if i a) got the dynamic wrong im so sorry i was kinda going off what i knew about the ocs #and b) if y'all idk... ever wanna talk about this kinda thing... my askbox is open 🥺👉👈 #this bitch riku needs more friends anyway #<- saying that with the energy of a grumpy dad trying to get his son to make friends

[lumidark166]

Being a digimon xros wars fan is suffering with few fanfictions and a lot of comparing discourse

#i am that suffering fan #all i wanted is taiki fanfic with other legend heroes including tagiru realizing Taiki need therapy #cause he feel like hanging from thin rope that really want to break #that fic kinda craxked chaotic fic with a lot of the senpai worrying about him lmao #but ig not #ngl i need to watch almost all digimon series cause i only watch xros wars cause nostalgia and did marathon for 4th time now #i did watch appmon but.. i forgot most of it... #digimon #digimon xros wars #i have love-hate with hunters arc but i still love the characters #ofc i do this shit aka characters >plot whenever people call a show sucks #lumi rambles #lumi rambles in the tags again #i suddenly talking about digimon and watch it again even though last time i watched it 3 years ago #it's because inazuma eleven another noatalgia anime remind me of xros wars cause childhood nostalgia #im so sorry for being most uneducated on digimon all i know is xros wars- #just to let you know i will block you if you tell a series/fandom hate cause it's feel like im in reddit/twitter again /neg /srs

[florenceisfalling]

like idk. i miss seeing content from s.igne (though i respect gab wholeheartedly). i miss fanart from my favorite artists. i miss older eras of j.se at times (and yes, there were older eras, the way people pretended he Never Changed is just weird). i miss old anti designs. i miss the old fic trends. i miss having a very active fandom (though i am so happy to see the new arrivals) and i miss seeing him interact with fans the way he did on tumblr back in the day. i miss the way i used to interact with some of the blogs here before i decided to fuckin,,, wage holy war and make enemies out of them (joking, but i have seen sides to some of these people that i wish i could tear out of my memory). i miss feeling confident that i could trust the good intentions of people here and even the big man himself (not god. that makes sean sound like god. you know what i mean). i miss when some of you weren't so fucking bitter which is funny because i'm the bitterest bitch alive. idk. i don't think it's bad to miss any of these things because i'm not going to be an ass and act like it's anybody's fault. i'm not going to be bothered by gab for being happy because i'm glad she is happy, and i'm not going to get bothered by sean taking a reasonable step back from this hellsite when people were cruel to him, and i'm not going to get mad at trends for changing because that is how time works. but i do miss things and i know its cringe and parasocial and perhaps even problematic but i hate having to pretend like i never have Any feelings about the past lest i break a hypothetical rule of what is the Normal level of attachment to an online community. okay. i think i'm done now.

#one of my favorite writers left because they couldn't deal anymore and one of my favorite writers turned out to have shit views and one of #my favorite writers left because of something that was partly my fault and one of my favorite writers stopped writing because of two of the #others and one of my favorite writers hurt someone i love over and over and over and one of my favorite writers left because they were the #someone i love. two of the big names hate queer folk that don't align with their ideals and half the artists left for twitter or for dead. #the man himself left because criticism always becomes cruelty and people lie to make themselves feel good. #the editors all turned their accounts private and my favorite told me on livestream that i was good and starting somewhere but then forgot #my name. and i thought maybe i was the bitter one but then i look at some of the other people who have been here so long and wonder why #they even bother anymore because they care more about complaining with everything j.ack does than anyone who actually enjoys his stuff. #and you know i poked fun at *** for a lot of things. some deserved some not. and one of them was the fact that she compared fandom #to warfare. and yes that's still silly i don't think it's a fair comparison but i do know that she wasn't fully wrong. #when you've been here for a long time and ive Been here for a long time you start to get really used to names and faces #and the change can be like waking up to a new wallpaper in your room. not a bad one just a new one. #i don't want to pretend that this fandom is just a silly little hobby for me when lets be honest i know some of yalls personal lives a #little too dearly for that. ive loved people here ive lost people here the first person who showed me this place fucking DIED and i still #lose it sometimes over the fact that he would have loved jameson so much and we couldve been closer friends had he stayed alive a few more #years. so yeah. sorry for being fucking cringy or whatever but there have been times where i've felt like im on a sinking ship watching #everybody else row away and i refuse to go. so like. cool. cool. im glad things are good again but i never really got to process the bad #things.

[tintedglasses]

.

#so I have a friend from college who can be very unreliable #and like not communicate or just like not show up for stuff or whatever #and she didn’t text me on my birthday which like sucked #but I also forgot to text her on hers last year and had to do it like two days later #but now it’s been over a week #and then tonight she posted pictures on her close friends story that she got engaged #and I like sent a congrats because I knew she’d see that I saw it #and she was like omg I’ve been meaning to return your calls #so sorry I posted this before telling you about it #and now I actually feel really hurt because I’m like wait yes you totally could have told me before posting #and like why didn’t you #because it makes it sound like she told other people first #and idk she’s like oh can we catch up this weekend #but Im not going to respond tonight because like I don’t know if I feel like I’m in the right mindset for that #idk maybe another time this wouldn’t bother me as much #but I’m kind of feeling like a wound at the moment #so it is #and there’s no real point to posting about it I suppose #but maybe just venting it will make it feel better

[underlying-purpose]

I hate feeling really really depressed and nobody noticing a difference.

#haha go to counseling #oh can you do this for me and pay for this #oh sorry you know how hard it is for me even though i sit around all day doing nothing #its not like i expect or usually even want people to notice #but idk it feels really bad that its not noticable. am i not noticable? are my emotions not noticable? #i have these periods where i feel terrible and feel so tired and feel like i LOOK so tired but nobody blinks an eye #im walking around doing everything as usual and talking to people but i dont feel the same #and i hate it #theres so many things i feel so bad about right now but the worst part is that nothing is going to come of these feelings. nothing. #i just have to sit here and wait for them to blow over like usual. #while im stressed as hell having to pick up the fucking slack #yes i can and yes i will and yes i know #but do YOU know??? would you want to? would you care. #thats all. #vent #vent post #and i know some of this is because im running out of my depression pills #but these feelings are still real. ive been having them regardless. im just more upset because of it #i forgot one of tumblrs functions but im missing some tags that said: #hey can you help me do this or hey can you pay for that or hey sorry haha you know how hard it is for me even though i sit around all day #even though most of my time is spent working or trying to earn money through my art that barely garners enough interest to work #like yes i can and will and know but why does it feel like if i asked or dis the same things you wouldnt care? #i want help. i need help. im WILLING to help you. why do i have to reach out so far for your help when i walk up and catch you when you #just barely trip. i reach to you before you reach to me 9 times out of 10. do the fucking same for me god dammit #AND #dont be like because i know #i know i know i know i know i know #i know #i just want acknowledgement #its all i want

[lilgynt]

okay i was looking through old drafts and this is so funny looking back kid ur literally just autistic it’s okay

#personal #i’m sorry but i love reading old shit me bc one #WOAH. did not know how fucking crazy i was #like i forgot i wrote some shit read it #and it’s both the funniest and fucking SADDEST thing i’ve ever seen #bc on one hand it’s me so that’s HILARIOUS #on the other oh my god that was a literal CHILD saying that oh my GOD #okay but ignoring the comedy aspect of this i just think it’s really sweet #i genuinely forgot i wrote this or even felt that way #and now remembering that yeah i remember feeling that super strongly #and not even JUST ninjago like anything that was my then unknown special interest #i just kinda forgot about how bad i felt about that shit #now it’s just like yeah i’m buying a bracelet with spock’s face all over bc i like it #yeah my room is covered wall to wall in hannibal posters and im planning on buying more #yes i openly talk about ninjago a lot and people ask me questions about legos or ninjago bc they know i probably know #so it’s just kinda sweet to see that transition. like completely forgetting i used to be embarrassed by this #it’s just such a fun part of my life and i love engaging with things i like too much #at most i have a quick like oh jeez moment if loved ones express that i’m just kinda #going too hard at the moment but that doesn’t happen often at all #i’m just kinda happy for past graham and wish i could let him know he’s fine

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

William:I had a short, kind-of dating this one girl, and she was the only experience I’ve ever had with an actually crazy partner.

William:She would try to tell me that my friends would talk shit about me behind my back.

William:She’d say things like... Let’s call him Josiah. She was like “Yeah, Josiah shoved me in a locker and called me a bitch.” Which was a total lie.

Lenox:Josiah would never.

William:I don’t know why I use fake names. His name’s Aiden. I don’t think he’d be upset I mentioned him. Haven’t talked to him in a while.

Lenox:I bet he’s in jail.

William:No, he’s not. I saw a picture of him on Instagram the other day.

Silvia:He’s pushing people into lockers!

Lenox:Truuuue.

#i was tempted to change that aiden but it's way funnier if i don't. funniest coincidence #man. i'm just gonna switch back to black survival incorrect quotes SKDFJSKDFJN #black survival incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #williamblacksurvival #lenoxblacksurvival #silviablacksurvival #ranged allies #i tagged this one but apparently didn't save them so this is giving deja vu rn #anyway i've been watching stranger things so GUESS WHAT KIND OF AU I'M THINKING ABOUT #yuki gives so much will energy. i'm not elaborating but he really does. he's even gay #dailin gives off steve energy. she's like him if he was a chinese martial artist. might be nonsense but i think i'm right on this one #daniel is nothing like eddie but he'd deliver a lot of eddie's lines flawlessly #nicleven except they're dressed as that one mall scene with max and eleven. i know i'm onto something with this one #i think if we just completely wave off everything and go by vibes and separate things then shoichi is very #joyce. i forgot her name im sorry i mentally call her will's mom or winona ryder by habit #i forget mike's name sometimes also. i remember him as the guy who doesn't really deserve two people vying for him tbh #dunno how redeeming that is for me. but shoichi is like vaguely evil joyce #.....shoichi is like joyce if she was willing to pull shit on someone that's innocent #aiden and alex give off the enzo guy and hopper #not sure why i got the urge to talk about this. but by now it's what's expected of this blog i think