#but like. idk maybe have some like. basic human compassion? and not act like the way to solve all our problems is through violent bloodshed

[sureuncertainty]

i just saw a really supremely fucked up take that was basically just point blank advocating for murder to try to fight systemic injustice and like. jesus christ some of you just want to live out your violent revenge fantasy instead of actually helping people and working to make change and it fucking SHOWS

#like i get it we're angry at injustice but saying 'this won't end until all rich people are dead' is NOT the way to go about it #this post had iris energy and NOT in a fun way in a this is genuinely how she thinks and why her morals are fucked up way #oh my GOD you're not JD from heathers who made you the arbiter of justice and who deserves to live or die #i GET that the system is broken and we wanna make change but i'm really tired of this advocating for violent revolution #and tbf idk if the original post i just saw was more of a joke or not and like it's all well and good to joke about eating the rich #but like. idk maybe have some like. basic human compassion? and not act like the way to solve all our problems is through violent bloodshed #win rambles

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Someone doesn't understand the difference between "hard and inconvenient" and "literally impossible". Like sorry, starving to death to avoid buying food from Amazon because they're the only place you can afford to buy food from and the only place that even delivers to you because you live in a food desert in a pointless act of martyrdom is just as a much a human rights violation as what Amazon does. Why do poor people only matter to you if they're laborers?

Then this tag from someone else:

"stop ordering from Amazon because of the human cost" is actually about feeling bad about what YOU have to do to survive. There is also a human cost to poverty. We need to talk about the people who don't have a choice. The original post isn't even about the actual human cost. It's literally about the fact consumers should feel guilty. It's not derailing the conversation that yes should be had but still ISN'T being had.

This person literally admits they use the service they work for. And maybe actually we should talk about the emotional cost it does to good people to have to choose between willingly laying down and quite literally DYING vs feeding corporations that are directly contributing to their own oppression while committing human rights violations against their fellow poor people. Often, as in this example, against them too.

Idk, this reads as victim blaming. How we handle the guilt of living in this society is very much a societal problem, not an individual one, and I feel like treating it as the latter is just another symptom of hyperindividualism.

But also... "you're directly causing this abusive corporation to abuse people by buying from them to avoid the "inconvenience" of not dying" do YOU hear YOURSELF? Do you have that little compassion? Or do you just refuse to acknowledge the reality of your own privilege, in that you have a CHOICE and therefore you think everyone must?

I thought we agreed that abusers actions were on them, "voting with your wallet" doesn't exist and certainly not with monopolies, and that "no ethical consumption under capitalism" was precisely ABOUT how even getting your basic needs met will involve horrific human rights violations and that the best you can do is just try and find the path that is least unethical while surviving to fight for better.

But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this person eats only fair trade ethically harvested food (cost: $5000/month) and makes all their own clothes out of hand harvested wool and built their own house out of trees they raised and felled themselves. After all, according to them, it's MEAN to say that you shouldn't rely on industries that commit human rights violations EVER, and surely they're definitely not a hypocrite! They'd never patronize any of the major monopolies in the agricultural, clothing, or housing industries, right?

Oh wait, they need to in order to survive. Congrats, now they can understand that some people have the same reliance on companies like Amazon, gold star!

Oh and btw, talking about how shame is ineffective in changing people's behavior but DOES have a significant impact on the mental health of people already undergoing severe complex trauma to the point it'll become genetic from poverty is a good conversation to have. No one's saying "uwu that's mean". I think that's just the projection of the guilt you're feeling about bullying other people about it :)

[bingus35]

Mephisto somehow went from my most hated character to my 2nd favorite character after W. Maybe I’m just too fickle or emotional or not exposed to enough media with the same character archetype, but idk anymore man chapter 8 got me bawling my eyes out for this little shit.

(Its not like all the hate went poof tbh. I can’t forgive him for the crimes against humanity. The fact that even in Reunion everyone fucking hates him is a testament to his horrid personality. Part of me still wants the bear girls and probably 10k other victims to take turns smacking his smug face. But thinking about him just makes me so sad??)

He had a shit life. His family abused him, other slum kids bullied him, someone shoved a radioactive rock down his throat and gave him arknights cancer. Faust was his only friend and he would do anything to make him happy, even if he was beaten up even worse for it. Even after getting power, his first act of defiance (which is uh. killing his family by mind controlling the slum kids) was prompted by his bestie and not out of his own will. Then they got sent to the mines and almost starved to death. Then the first adult he ever trusted was possessed by some ancient evil guy and encouraged him to kill people, so he did just that. He didn’t even know it’s wrong until Faust basically killed himself. Then he wanted to die but couldn’t because Faust wouldn’t want that, so he turned himself into lugia funniest shit I’ve ever seen tried to wipe his memories to start over. But of course he failed and instead turned into an eldritch abomination that only caused more and more harm.

After everything I can’t even feel mad anymore, just… hopeless. The environment fucked him up so bad he sees no value in anyone’s life except Faust and Talulah. Then he fucked up so bad that everyone he knows is either dead or wants him dead, and who can blame them. At the end the only thing left is one broken kid with no self-worth, no dreams, no will to live, only the blood of thousands on his hands.

I know trauma isn’t an excuse to commit war crimes and other characters also have fucked up backstories but didn’t turn out like him. But I feel like most of them at least had some kind of guidance (through family or education) at some point of their lives. Mephisto’s guidance is terrorism. No surprise his moral compass is so fucked.

Tldr arknights got me depressed over the smug war criminal I’m deleting this fucking game >:’(

#dont wanna go ‘nooo he just a bby leave him alone’ but seriously at the end thats all he is #a broken and misguided kid with no future #i just want them to be happy #i would normally read fanworks or discussion threads to cheer myself up #but fandom reception towards mephisto is. fierce to say the least #at least on reddit where the ​cishet men who want to skewer his ass and give him the most miserable death reside #and the other side is cn/jpn artists who are terrifying for a different reason #god I wish my arknights blorbo was someone cool like silverash or ch’en or skadi #instead of this 13 year old terrorist who makes me sad everytime I think about him

[ratherbeedead]

I feel very unwanted in my own home. I and my sister have a very toxic relationship. I am a very restricted sort of person, never tend to talk much or open up. sometimes I do feel like talking to Mom, not about something particular, just random communication. and whenever I try to approach her, why do I feel that she shuts me out? Her face makes that sudden disgusted expression which might not be intentional but she doesn't realise that unknowingly, deep in her consciousness, she can't stand me, although just a few seconds before I approached her, she had been cheerfully talking to my sister. I always tend to do everything by myself because I've seen the look on her face when I ask her to make me a cup of coffee, although my sister and she have an unsaid agreement where all these things for my sister would be done by her, and my sister never ever hesitates to ask her for anything and even compels her to do so even if she doesn't want to. I can't even imagine myself doing that. I feel my sister and I, though belong to the same family but we have completely different parents.

Yesterday, my sister said something very derogatory to me which shook me to the core, I can't even type that out, and that too in front of my mom. I went to my room and I couldn't hold back my tears, my mom came asking what happened and my sister started yelling that she too should cry to gain sympathy. I asked my mom to go as I didn't want anyone's sympathy and guess what, she actually left. How could a mother leave her child crying with such a huge indifference? Never asked me how I was feeling later on when I got "normal". I would never do that to even my worst enemy. And maybe she knows that I might not open up, but won't a person just sit there to show some compassion? She actually just left. Yet whenever she cries over anything, I always make sure that I am right there sitting beside her, consoling her. I don't expect anything in return from anyone, but is it too much to just expect basic human compassion from your own mother? It is me, I am that stupid to go back to normal once I forget any incident. I wish to have that resilience of shutting them out even after these phases end. idk why I have to go back to them and treat them normally so that they would hurt me again and act indifferent. The thing which keeps me up at night is just wondering how can a person treat someone else in such a shitty way and then act so indifferent as if nothing ever happened and get to feel that they are holier than thou, and that too is not just anyone, but your own child and your own sister?

When does it end or does it ever?

[shit-scfandom-did]

so i have a few questions

1)i cannot understand how you ship k*ramel. their relationship was FILLED with toxicity. from mon-el failing over and over again to listen to what kara had to say to him basically telling her to give up being kara danvers. convincing her that "being supergirl and having you is enough” was absolutely horrible. karamel had their moments but overall it was toxic. then in s3 mon el was married and the whole point of season 3 was allowing them to move on. accepting the toxicity from s2 and pushing past that romanticized time. mon el was a better person by 3b but he was still married. even if mon el and imra did break up in the finale there’s no future for karamel. even during 5x13 kara went to ask on advice about lena. and when winn came to visit from the future not a word about him. she’s moved on and it just wouldn’t make sense for kara to end up with him.

2) how can you hate lena so so so much?? it’s been said over and over again that all she’s ever wanted to do is good. though she’s designed to be this morally grey character. she has FLAWS but that’s what makes her so good. she’s a victim of abuse and you can see her struggle with that especially in seasons 4 and 5. in 5 she definitely goes down a questionable path but how can you expect her not too? after being emotionally abused by her brother, betrayed by her family, andrea (this did happen before kara), and then eve. finding out that kara and EVERYONE she loves has betrayed her as well. I mean how could you not go mad?? and even when she “went mad” she was trying to rid humanity of PAIN. something she later realized was a necessary part of life. her hurt blinded her from reality and lex’s manipulation pushed her down further. she’s been hurt and broken so many times and while that’s not an excuse for what she’s done you have no sympathy for her and that I find appalling. lena has realized what she’s done is wrong, that she’s made mistakes, what she did to kara, and she will have to live with that isn’t that punishment enough? she’s apologized and is trying to make up for everything she’s done by saving the world (again). your unnecessary hate towards her infuriates me. cant you take a step back and see the whole picture?

3) why DONT you ship supercorp or accept the queerbaiting? (watch this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C2w2GBXd_Pg) They are the core relationship of the show while the danvers sisters are the heart. they’ve gone through so so much together and practically dated in early season 2. they love each other it’s just oh so apparent. i like to believe one of the reasons lena reacted so strongly in s5 is because she was in love with kara and she couldn’t handle the person she was in love with lying to her. and kara flew around the world to get lena’s favorite food!! if that’s not romantic idk what is. I feel like you’ve developed such a clouded view of supercorp that you need to take a step back and understand what lena is the love of kara’s life.

wow what a long message. im not here to hate. im here to inform & undertand. i get it. karamel had their moments and even MY perception of them might be a little cloudy. im not going to hate you for liking them. hell I even shipped them for a little! my brother thinks 3b mon el and kara would’ve been perfect but he understands that supercorp is just where the show is leading and he wants them to be endgame. but what I will hate is your hate. what’s the point of all this? this thread, this account is going to do NOTHING. so why bother? I debated sending this and I hope I’m not too harsh at times but I really wanna see what you say. I hope you can open your eyes to lena and supercorp. maybe even become a supercorp shipper yourself!

- thanks and supercorp endgame 💙❤️

First of all, if you want to discuss ships in the future send this type of anons to facepalming-since-chernobyl, this blog is not for this, but for gathering receipts.

1.I just ship it, I don’t get why you have to understand it. It’s shipping. But if you insist:

No, it was not filled with toxicity. Count me when he failed to listen to her when they were in a relationship. Secondly, he is not a dog, he has his brain, he is his own person. People don’t always do what others asked them to do. It’s not slavery.

He has NEVER said to her to give up being Kara Danvers. How did he exactly convince her? How can you read the scene that he convinced her that being supergirl and having him is erasing Kara Danvers? In this scene he supports anything SHE WANTS to do. Also, Kara Danvers doesn’t equal Kara being a reporter in CatCo. On that moment she had her blog. She change people’s live with it like a real reporter. She took the risk and met consequences of her actions aka being fired by Snapper. Also, remind me who told her to create a blog? With your logic Lena was erasing Kara Danvers too.

Friendly reminder that he was forced to the marriage to keep peace. Also, friendly reminder Imra and the Legion out him in this situation without telling him about her plans. She and Brainiac put him there, knowing exactly how much he loved Kara and how much she meant to him. Imra knew that, that’s why she asked him to stay and solve his feelings. She said if he had come back, she would have known he had no doubts. But he wanted to stay, that’s why they broke up. He came back because once again he sacrificed himself for the greater good, like a real hero. Maybe watch the Argo eps because they clearly show that no, it was no about moving on.

It was not accepting about so called toxicity. First of all, she already forgave him that he lied. Secondly, all of she was screaming in that scene, when she was infected with M’rynn’s powers, happened before they got together and it was already approached in the musical ep. Aka, this scene had no point.

There is no future for karamel because you say so?

Kara went to asked him, because she truly believed and trusted him and his judgment. And yes, she asked about Lena and what did he said? That Kara deserved the same compassion she gives others, something Lena never gave her. And sorry, I know all scs scream the 100 ep was about sc, but it was about Kara fully realizing she is not responsible for Lena’s horrible choices. That’s it. And friendly reminder she called her a villain in the last scene. Also, the ep showed than no matter what, Lena always ends screwing something, because she has too big ego, always knows better, doesn’t stand criticism and doesn’t trust anyone.

It doesn’t make sense for you. Suit yourself.

2.Her fans made me hate her :) Thanks to them and how they excuse her every horrible action, how they treat her as a victim, while she abuse everyone etc. I started to watch her more carefully. And well, she is a horrible, white, privileged capitalist, who plays god, judge, jury, has mommy issues and acts like typical Luthor while crying she is not one, while still using Luthors money and resources.

Yeah, many people want to make good and end doing evil things. Common people pay for their sins, she has never. Since allowing hostile Daxamite army to invade the Earth (also, her portal affected the other aliens who destroyed the NC), producing a device that could recofnize aliens without their consent (and it was used by Children of Liberty,)producing and lying about Kryptonite, trying to make people superpowered without any supervision, killing Adam during illegal experiment, supporting openly alienphobic president and in a way Agent Liberty, killing Lex and then blaming Kara and finally manipulating Kara for months, lying, gaslighting, yelling, making her steal Lex journal, trying to lobotomize her and tortured with kryptonite, hurting every way possible, physically and mentally. Working with mass murderer, enslaving 3 people (kidnapping Eve, without her consent putting AI into her mind, basically RAPING her brain and making her a puppet in her own body; enslaving end experimenting on Malefic and Russel – threatening to kill him to steal Andrea’s necklace) – none of it are flaws. It was horrible abuse and violating every human right and the fact some people excuse it is disgusting.

First of all, being victim of abuse doesn’t give you the rights to HURT other people. The fact I have to explain pains me. Secondly, what abuse exactly? Lillian didn’t love her? Lex kidnapped her? Said he was going to kill her? You know what? Winn HAD HORRIBLE past and he didn’t turn into a murderer. Mon-El was abused by his mother and never tortured Kara with Kryptonite. J’onn killed a lot of white martians but last time I checked he doesn’t feel good about it. Also, never said the things he has done were GOOD. See a difference?

Yeah, and all of it, still doesn’t give her the rights to torture people. Also, friendly reminder she lied to Supergirl about Kryptonite in s3, much before the whole drama. Remember how she destroyed the life of a girl that stole boyfriend in middle school? It clearly shows she always had THAT in her. Plus, sorry not sorry, if she wanted different life, outside her family she could have easily done that. She was in Star City, with Jack, doing her researches, making her career. And she threw it all away, because she WANTED to be a Luthor.

Plus, sorry not sorry, if you feel betrayed and hurt because your friend didn’t tell you something she didn’t OWE you, you go to therapy, not trying to lobotomize entire planet.

Mate, she wanted to lobotomizer entire humanity, without ANYONE’S consent, because SHE, one single Lena, felt hurt. This is playing a GOD. Nothing explains it.

Planning a cold ass revenge for months is not being blinded by feelings.

Once again, even if could argue about how many times she was broken, most of that was a white privileged life she chose herself but whatever, it still doesn’t excuse her. All of she has done should meet consequences. Paying for shit you have done, accepting it, fully realizing what you have done is a part of redemption. Still in s5 she didn’t even apologize to Kara. Because she still didn’t understand what she has done and doesn’t feel sorry about it.

Feel appalled as much as you want, because I’m not going to feel sorry for a white, privileged woman who has never paid for her actions and is basically a living avatar of the worst Karen you can imagine.

She realized Lex was using her horrible experiments (remember? She experimented on puppies too) to his own agenda, that’s why she went to Kara. That’s not grasping a thing. Mhm, if you call that an apology then suit yourself. She is not saving the world, she is helping once again other people fixing the shit she created.

Feel infuriated as much as you want, because I don’t care? Especially when it comes from a person who tells others to take a step back while being totally narrow minded about Mon-El and karamel.

3.Because actors, prodcuers, writers call SC a female friendship. Mel did that in her last interview. See whatever you want but maybe stop forcing people to ship a horribly abusive ship.

Well… no. Kara is the heart and soul of the Supergirl. Alex is her most important relationship. Lena is an important friend, who doesn’t deserve it yet, but we all know Kara is the Paragon of Hope so of course she is going to forgive her.

I know you people think sc dated because they breathed in one room, but in s2 Kara dated, had sex, kissed, cuddled and enjoyed her time with Mon-El.

Yeah, they love each other as friends. It was said more than once.

That’s your delusion, you are free to do it.

Kara done that to Alex too, so you are saying she is romantically in love with her sister or something? If bringing people food is romantic and damn, most of the people I know loves me, god.

No, lena is not Kara’s love of her life.

Cool, you are not going to hate me because I ship karamel, I’m touched.

Sorry that you are going to be super disappointed in the end of the show I guess.

You will hate my hate – what’s the point of it?

Once again, because I don’t think you understand the point of this blog or read the description – it’s gathering receipts of assholes who cross tag and hate on the actors. Maybe go and search #gross hate or #cast hate on this blog so you can see how amazing your fandom is. Have fun.

I would rather eat my own shit than starting shipping the victim of abuse with her abuser.

Thanks and no :)

#anons

[shrinkthisviolet]

The Problem with KATAOW S3

(Yep, I’m finally doing it)

Okay so, let me just say that the season overall? Phenomenal. Clearly planned out, not one of those “oh no we need to make another season” seasons, the enemy is defeated in a satisfying way, the characters’ arcs are concluded–

Wait. Hold that thought. Because my problem with this season concerns one person. Or, I guess, one mandrill, since he isn’t a person at all.

That’s right, I’m talking about Hugo/Scarlemagne.

So I didn’t even realize something was off when I first started the season, until I read this fic (it’s an alternate S3, and I absolutely recommend it). The comments gave me pause, because they said that they felt Scarlemagne was acting too passive in S3. I’d just gotten done seeing him and Kipo talking with his “brotherly advice,” so I didn’t understand that.

However, the more I watched, the more I realize that the comments were right. Scarlemagne was a background character, and normally, this wouldn’t be a problem (it’s Kipo’s show, not his), except...this is his redemption season. And they kinda try to one-and-done it in one episode, which I feel does a great disservice to him and the show overall.

His relationship with Kipo is also...gone for some reason?? They bring it up in the 9th and last episodes, but other than telling us “oh hey remember that they’re siblings?” it’s nowhere. As if it doesn’t exist. Which is sad because that could’ve been the key to his redemption.

Kipo only redeems him to form HMUFA (she also wants to do it for their relationship, but that’s not really made clear), but what if she just wanted her brother back? What if HMUFA was important, but not as much as having a family again? Remember, this is the girl who went toe-to-toe with him in last season’s finale and called him out and pushed him until she threatened the safety of her loved ones.

She doesn’t back down, and she initiates change. In a way, regarding her brother, Kipo herself was also made passive, which is a shame–that’s a fundamental misunderstanding of her character.

Scarlemagne’s moral ambiguity is also pretty much gone. Now, in regard to the pheromone thing, that could just be him being tired of arguing about it, which tracks. But the fact that he gives in to Wolf’s reasoning instead of KILLING THE PERSON WHO TORE HIS FAMILY APART AND TORTURED HIM AND IS TRYING TO KILL HIS SISTER? Yeah, no. I don’t care how redeemed Scarlemagne is, he would never give in to an argument like that.

Also Wolf would never make that argument in a situation like this. I get that she’s less hardened and more like Kipo now, but...she calls Kipo her sister. Her pack. Wolf was raised a wolf, at the core of it, and even I, as an older sister, would throw moral compasses out the window to protect my siblings. THAT’S JUST HOW FAMILY IS (in my experience)!

He and Kipo don’t really have any arguments. He doesn’t try to get her to see his perspective, his advice (“make them fear you”) doesn’t come back to haunt her later (especially when she...basically does that twice? Anyone remember that? The writers don’t)...what’s the point of a morally gray villain if they’re not clinging to their reasoning?? Sure, maybe Scarlemagne realizes his dictator impulse was wrong, but he could’ve said something like, “I made a place for myself in a world that was trying to hurt me. All I wanted was to unite the mutes and guide them. I wanted a family again.”

And Kipo could say something like, “That’s not a family. Families don’t mind control each other to keep them in line.”

Scarlemagne: “Ah right, I forgot. They just leave their created children for dead and shame them for ever wanting to use their powers against corrupt people. My mistake.”

Like?? Obviously he went about it the wrong way, but...he thinks his intentions were good (as morally gray villains do), and he was hurt, and let’s face it, Lio’s moral absolutism (critiqued very well in this post) pretty much ruined everything (also that dumb decision to wait around?? Tf??). Scarlemagne doesn’t have to change Kipo’s mind, but...maybe some indication that he’s still in that cage for a reason? That maybe Kipo’s tried to help him before, but he won’t renounce his intentions (only the dictator part)?

Like...COME ON, writers! You can’t even say that moral ambiguity was too much for a kids’ show, because this show has it in SPADES (Lio is forced to reckon with and apologize for his mistakes, as he should, and ATLA/LOK was practically the blueprint for moral ambiguity in kids’ shows).

So I think I’ve covered everything? But I have one last complaint: Hugo’s death.

IT MAKES NO SENSE

I kinda knew it was coming because I spoiled myself 😂 (that’s all I knew though, the rest was a surprise), so I was expecting Mute Emilia to eat him or something as he was flying. That wouldn’t have been great, but it would’ve been better than CRASHING INTO THE SIDE OF A WALL OR SOMETHING

Like...are you KIDDING me?? I know mandrills aren’t super strong, but this is BOGUS in a show where falls like that never hurt anyone (yes, I’m aware that everyone who falls like that is a Mute, but they’ve fallen like that as humans, too. Idk. Plenty of other media has their heroes get up and be fine after falls like that).

Also...he was just starting his redemption!! It could’ve been something awesome!! But they threw it away, and for what?? A moment for Hugo to forgive Lio (Song didn’t really do anything imo, but she was kinda complicit, and I find it weird that she didn’t even apologize?), sacrifice himself in a stupid way, and then just...die??

Nope. I don’t accept it. I refuse. We weren’t shown a gravesite, so I choose to believe Hugo appeared right behind Kipo at the end, all “quit telling people I’m dead!” “Sometimes, I can still hear his voice!” (Screw canon, this is canon now. KATAOW screwed itself over when it didn’t even have the decency to give Hugo a proper death).

Oh also, Scarlemagne passively accepting Wolf as Kipo’s sister is soooo unrealistic I can’t overstate it! I’m just gonna refer you back to the fic series linked above, which handles this so much better. There’s no way Scarlemagne would take a surrogate sister label lying down, that he wouldn’t have an identity crisis (if Kipo can adopt siblings at random, can she disown siblings too?), that he wouldn’t shame Wolf for it, that she wouldn’t have an identity crisis...

Oh also, Kipo herself has problems, as outlined in this post (which includes my reblog of it where I also state my problems with her). I love Kipo as a hero, but...S3 could’ve done more for her.

Maybe I’ll write a fix-it for this season one day. Who knows. But I wanted to get all this off my chest 😂 feel free to debate in the notes and reblogs!

#kipo and the age of wonderbeasts #kataow s3 spoilers #MAJOR S3 SPOILERS #no seriously PLEASE watch the season before reading this it’s actually really good #kipo oak #hugo oak #scarlemagne #wolf #lio oak #song oak #benson #dave

[beaniebabs]

omg haiii this isn’t a vent or anything it’s just VERY long and references political(?) shit and stuff like that so if you don’t wanna live in the woods in a small village without money n technology you probably won’t enjoy this lol

yo. just. maybe if i want something done. i rlly do have to do it myself??????????????? yo. yo. yo. yo. like. listen. ik theres already societies and communities and stuff without money and little to no technology that i could join but. maybe. i could do that. not by myself of course, but. i really really really really REALLY do wanna just. do that. i wanna get a group of people together and live in a small community without money and addictive technology and weapons (aka. guns and shit.) and just. god that sounds SO good. i truly do think modern technology is the worst thing that’s ever happened to humanity. we’ve given up our freedom, our basic right to live, our empathy, our compassion, our privacy, our social skills, our physical and mental health, our human intimacy, our privacy, our SAFETY, and so, SO much more, for what in return? better medicine? being able to travel more? the ability to kill dozens of people in minutes? the ability to kill hundreds or thousands or even millions in SECONDS? we have computers, cars, air conditioners, etc. but we’ve given up SO MUCH for it. we strive for everyone to think we’re perfect by lying on social media and in real life, changing the way we look and act and LIVE to conform to an imaginary social construct of how we “should be”, we waste our lives away working for people who don’t care about us to get barely enough “money” to survive, if we even get THAT much, we sit alone at home because we’ve become so accustomed to technology that we actively fear interacting with people face-to-face, have to drive a certain speed limit on an empty street or pay a fine or be arrested, we do so much useless shit that completely makes us devoid of everything we were made to do- BORN to do- be human. be free. and this isn’t how we were made to live! we were made to live in tight-knit communities where we love and care about each other, where we take care of our friends and neighbors, where we help people in need instead of letting them rot on the streets. this isn’t right. this isn’t any way to live. and if we don’t wipe ourselves extinct in the next few years, i really, truly, 100% hope i can find or make a community like this. i’m gonna be reading a certain man’s manifesto (or two men, who knows) soon to see if i can find some things i really believe in and agree with. maybe i’ve radicalized myself too much because of a fictional portrayal of someone, but i think i would’ve ended up like this anyway. idk, i’m mostly just rambling at this point. but yeah. i hope one day i can really live like humans were meant to. i don’t wanna be addicted and reliant on technology, i don’t wanna even THINK about money- i just wanna live in peace. yeah {:

#long post #politics tw #political tw #idk how to tag this correctly sorry #just. an ideology i’ve been liking recently #nothing potentially offensive hopefully! #but yeah {: #okay read w caution #it’s nothing triggering just. you’ll see idk yea #delete later probably

[softer-ua]

With the last Meta you wrote it makes me think of all the "What if Izuku jumped" scenarios that I have read. 'Disaster' would be a small word to describe the situation

It’d be so bad like idk if you read my “If the sludge villain got Deku”, but it’d be worse than that

I’m a firm believer that suicide is never anyone’s fault. People who don’t have suicidal ideations don’t suicide, it’s mental health issue at the end of the day.

That said I’m also a firm believer that we all have a shared responsibility to each other’s wellbeing, mental and physical, and that includes treating each other right and if we fail to do so we share the blame.

Katsuki is a child who has grown up in a world even more calloused and broken than ours, in a family that feeds into his damage. His mom talks down to him and his dad never disagrees, he’s forced to look for outside support in a world that tells him with a quirk like his he shouldn’t need supporting.

The only person who actively tries to care about him is someone Katsuki is told by everything around him is weak and useless, if it’s wrong for him to want support it’s even worse to be supported and cared for by someone like Deku.

The class finds out Deku is quirkless probably around 5, since his mom said most of the class has already begun showing signs.

This is probably the first time a lot of these kids have ever come across the idea of being quirkless and the teacher just tells Deku not to worry about it while all the kids call him names. Cementing what would become a life long trend, it’s okay to treat Deku as less than, justifiable to see him as less than.

Nothing in there world has ever told Katsuki or any of the other kids it’s okay to like Deku or befriend him, if anything it tells them being his bully is the only appropriate way to interact with Deku.

Regardless of that we still see Katsuki continually try to pull Deku into his sphere, he is being a bully but he’s also the only person who talks to Deku even when their little.

More than that, we don’t see katsuki talk or engage with the other kids personally until middle school and even then I’m not convinced he could tell his lackeys apart.

Deku is the only person who’s never been an extra, a pebble on the side of the road maybe but one that caught his eye.

Everything about Deku is goes against the grain; he’s plain and powerless in a world where everyone looks like a mc and he’s kind and helpful to everyone equally in world that’s set on survival of the fittest.

Katsuki has very low level empathy skills, and even lower emotional intelligence. But he can recognize strength when he sees it, and he knows Dekus strong in a way that he isn’t, in a way he hasn’t ever encountered and can’t understand.

He knows it’s something that separates mediocre heros from the greats, and it’s something he has no idea how to match. Its taken him his entire childhood to even begin conceptualizing and All Might still had to spell it out for him.

It’s what Endeavor has always lacked, he can’t match All Might because they’re not even playing the same game. All Might knows this too, and that’s why he tells him that the path he took isn’t for Endeavor, he’ll have to be his own symbol. The drive to save and care about others beyond yourself interest is beyond Endeavors capabilities.

In a way Katsuki is constantly being saved by Deku, he introduced the concept of selflessness to him at a young age and for someone like him thats life changing. Because he’d never be introduced to again until too late in his life to internalize it.

Deku spent their entire childhood proving that something other than physical strength matters, and he’s spending his teen years showing him how to utilize a genuine desire to save others.

If Katsuki had lost this chance, and had acted as a catalyst to that loss I don’t think anything could repair that damage. No one else has ever been able to break down Katsukis walls and shove themselves into his little dehydrated raisin heart.

The lesson Dekus teaching Katsuki wouldn’t just have been incomplete but tainted, he’d forever associate kindness as a weakness that leads to tragedy and I think he’d count it as losing.

He lost Deku and lost to Deku. Because at 14 Deku would have been talking his secret something with him to the grave.

Katsuki never could or would be able to put his finger on what Deku had that he didn’t because the answer staring him in the face was weakness, Deku has the strength to be weak and not break to it. Deku doesn’t lose himself to vulnerability, he’s not afraid to hurt.

Katsuki has never once not completely lost himself to his feelings. Deku swims upstream through his feelings just fine, Katsuki is continually dragged the fuck out to sea by his riptide shitstorm hurricane feelings.

So Katsuki basically loses out on the chance to grow into a caring empathetic functioning human being, which would of course leave anyone calloused, alone, and angry at the world. His emotional maturity basically stops at 14, cause he’s obviously never getting therapy to process the trauma and it’s awful.

But Katsuki also would lose the only person who’d ever saw something other than just a quirk in him. Deku saw a strong capable hero with the strength to save people, when even Katsuki himself only saw flashiness, power, and the potential for fame.

Deku sees a noble prize where everyone else saw magazine headlines. Deku sees a person worthy of being a symbol, not just a chart topper. Deku also sees someone worth caring about on an emotional level, who’s wellbeing and happiness are worth protecting.

Katsuki would lose more than a moral compass, he’d lose his best friend. And nothing in their world has ever shown me a a single hint that he’d ever be given a chance to process that, he’d probably be belittled if he even showed he cared.

It’d be a festering wound he’d have to pretend wasn’t there until it finally rotted him all the way through. And Katsuki Bakugo only process his feelings one way, and there’s only ever been one person who slows him down

And their gone, and maybe it’s his fault. His mom said so, his dad didn’t disagree, he was dragged in front of Inko to apologize for it. The school put on a little too late awareness campaign, he hears kids whispering. Some say he did them all a favor, others call him a villain.

Everyone suddenly seems to have an opinion on Katsukis behavior, but if they all knew so damn much why didn’t anyone ever intervene.

There’s only one person who always understands what others are thinking, and only one person who can accept Kacchans feelings. And their gone.

Shigaraki’s hatred for everything would have nothing on this, Dabis rage couldn’t touch it, I don’t think even AFO’s desire for conquest could reach this far.

A desperate, permanently wounded, enraged Katsuki Bakugo who only cares about winning by his definition would rip through UA, through hero charts and villains, and start looking for a new opponent

Katsuki Bakugo without character development and given extra trauma is just a villain in waiting.

Katsuki Bakugo canonically acknowledges himself that if Deku dying isn’t any different than dying himself

He almost dies like twice a month. No development with this level of desperation and he had a hand in the tragedy? He’d immediately begin plans for revenge against the whole world no cap.

If he didn’t just Romeo himself that is.

#softy answers

[hollowisthyname]

🖊 Rhys!

Rhys!! Rhys my beloved!!!!! definitely one of my favorites (yes I will say this abt all of them, yes it is always true), I have the clearest like.... picture of them in my mind I guess? though I'm thinking of making all of them look less human and that'd def change their design some so. ANYWAY LET'S GO

[infodump under the cut]

so! Rhys Myers, some sort of water spirit and best friend/protector of Cory!! it's kinda hard to know where to start with them.... I have so much and yet so little. but when all else fails, physical descriptions are a good starting point :D

Rhys is fairly tall (currently I have them at 5'8 but I think they're gonna end up taller), and very, very, blue. bc water spirit. basically; their skin is light blue, their eyes are dark/navy blue, and their hair is like medium blue? but it's shimmery and has a lot of different shades of blue in it (I'll find the actual colors for all of these later, idk how to do it on a phone). their hair is basically a waterfall. it's long, nearly down to their feet,and while I haven't yet decided whether it's a real (magical) waterfall or an illusion of one, that's certainly what it looks like. they wear light-colored ripped jeans and a black shirt that's kinda like a tank top but no sleeves and made out of a cooler material? not sure what it's called. they don't wear shoes, and don't particularly like clothes in general.

Rhys themself is.... an interesting character, I think. they're very sarcastic and witty, and they get defensive p easily, but they also make a point not to show any real emotion to people they don't know well. the way they act isn't reserved exactly, but they're closed off. in general they're very playful, and while some of their pranks can be kind of mean they don't hurt people who they don't think deserve it. but they have a very strong sense of right and wrong which can lead them to do some bad things to people they're angry at. (it's kinda hard for me to describe their personality, I have a very vivid picture in my mind but I can never find the words :( hopefully this made sense!!)

their backstory- which still isn't fully worked out yet btw, some of it doesn't make total sense so I'm probably going to change a lot of it later- is basically that their parents were..... neglectful? and they were given a lot more responsibility than they could really handle since they were little. namely, being the primary caretaker of six or so little siblings for most of their life (not all six since the whole time, they were born a year or two ahead of some and then they also have half-siblings they take care of that came along later) they met Cory when they were eight and he was six when his parents hired them as his babysitter (their parents made them apply for the position for the money, they're tall and they lied about their age plus they acted v mature for their age so it was convincing. also Cory's parents didn't really care) the two of them didn't really get along at first. Cory was wary of anyone who his parents had chosen to take care of him so while he was sweet as usual he was also pretty distant and didn't trust Rhys much. Rhys was just pissed to have to take care of another child, and maybe a little bit jealous of Cory (bc the way his family was they were like the "perfect family" on the outside but when you look into it more it falls apart y'know). but they got to like each other from like interacting a bunch and realizing they're not bad people and also probably some more specific stuff I have to come up with. the two of them run away together after a few years (why are all my characters exiles/runaways. why is this a thing I do) and meet up with everyone else over a period of a couple years maybe? I really don't know how that's gonna happen but I'm trying not to rush it asdfgfds

various other facts about Rhys: they're nonverbal (and also deaf maybe haven't decided), and talk w sign language they're aro/ace!! I associate the song Can't Sleep Love with them a lot as like their thought process before they knew abt queer stuff and were confused as to why they weren't attracted to anyone. I have like a whole animatic planned out in my head but I'll prolly never make it bc I can't animate :( they'd admit this over their dead body but they cry a lot at movies and shows and stuff. if someone finds out they claim it's bc water and stuff but really they just have a lot of emotions (/lh, I am exactly the same way) strong sense of right and wrong =/= refusal to do like. illegal shit. they have and will break many laws and hurt people who r assholes to them or their friends. their moral compass is not at all in line with the law and I love that about them

I'm sure I have more stuff abt them somewhere but I can't think of it off the top of my head and also this is really long now so I'm gonna stop here!! sry this took so long I've been working on it for nearly a week and I just did like 90% of it within the last few hours?? I do not know how to write things hope you like this and it makes sense and stuff!!!! I love this character sm ashgfd

#ranger rambles #icarus infodumps #oc infodumps #i *will* have a personal tag for every one of my names #/hj #ranger is stolen directly from yttd 😌 #also im gonna keep answering ur asks i promise!! #just takes me a while #bc my motivation is shit #but i love talking abt them :D

[angeltrapz]

for the “give me a character” meme! Eric, Adam, William, Mallick, Strahm, Rigg!!!!

YESS thank u!!!!

Eric:

How I feel about this character: That's my boy!!! <33

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Uuuu okay. Adam, obviously, but concerning the SAW polycule: Adam, Art, Lawrence, William, & Mallick!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Him & Rigg!!! That's his best friend!!! + he and Gibson in the Eric Lives AU!! (Gibson IS dating his best friend + recognizes that he's made the effort to change <3)

My unpopular opinion about this character: You Understand This but the idea that he's irredeemable/deserved to die is complete and utter bullshit. This post that you made perfectly describes my feelings on that!!

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: Firstly that he. Y'know. Didn't die. But I would have loved to see any of his interactions with Hoffman? Obviously they knew each other + I like to think they have since they were in academy together, so there's gotta be some sort of history there, y'know?? I feel like he definitely cared about Eric so I would've been very interested to see more regarding that relationship! + one more big one: I wish he knew/was at least made aware of the fact that Daniel was ALIVE and okay. It kills me thinking abt how this man died not knowing if his child made it out.

Adam:

How I feel about this character: I loooove him he deserved better. I relate pretty heavily to him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Hehe. Lawrence obviously!! Chainshipping is a HUGE comfort ship for me. BUT! Regarding the SAW polycule: Lawrence, Eric, William, Gibson, & Mallick!! + when concerning that alternative canon continuity we've been talking abt, Strahm. But only in that circumstance lol,,

My non-romantic OTP for this character: MANDY!!! In any AU where she's either not a disciple or abandoned her apprenticeship, I firmly believe that he and Amanda would be best friends. Mean gay/lesbian solidarity siblings who would fight tooth and nail for each other + who get each other on a level that not many others can. Pamela also!! Along w Mandy I like to think they talk about their experiences being trans a lot + just bitching w each other lol.

My unpopular opinion about this character: IDK how unpopular this actually is but I 100% believe that Adam would never become a disciple in any capacity, ESP not of his own accord. I genuinely think he'd rather die. That's just not something I can see him doing in any circumstance.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wish someone had gotten him out of the bathroom :( And in an AU where he lives I hope someone tells him what a bastard Zep was!! No one made that dude hold a gun to Diana's head and listen to her heartbeat what the FUCK was that!!

William:

How I feel about this character: He's such a sweetheart I love him,, <33

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Lawrence & Adam <3 in the polycule though this includes Eric & Mallick!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: He and Pamela obviously!! His sister is his best friend and they're there for each other 100%.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Much like Eric I don't think he deserved to die/that he's completely irredeemable... he fights so hard to save everyone and is utterly devastated when he can't. He's willing to hurt himself to save others (nearly dislocating his shoulders trying to keep both Addy and Allen, burning himself with the steam for Debbie, etc.) and it's like. John is always talking about how it can't be personal but it seems pretty fucking personal here!

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: The fact that nobody saw how hard he fought for his coworkers + the sacrifices he made for them upsets me to no end. That was intentional. John didn't want Tara + Brent (or Pamela for that matter!) to see him as human and that fucking bothers me!! So basically I just wish that they could've seen it via camera like literally almost every trap victim gets in some capacity!!

Mallick:

How I feel about this character: Yet another character I relate to wayyy too much <33 I love him...

All the people I ship romantically with this character: BRIT!!! + concerning the SAW polycule: Adam, Eric, William, & Lawrence!! (Art maybe too,,)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I like to think he and Laura would've gotten along actually? I feel like that would be a good, healthy friendship. And I do like the idea of he and Brit like this too!! Other than that maybe Mandy? I feel like they could relate to each other a little bit, help each other when they're feeling brainweird,, (Mallick n Mandy: havers of Symptoms Disorder <3)

My unpopular opinion about this character: Again I don't know if it's unpopular, persay, but uh. I don't think the Mallick we meet in V would willingly sit and listen to Bobby Dagen in 3D. He'd hate that dude. My take on it is that Brit didn't survive V (although I think read somewhere that the crew confirmed she survived?) and that's why he was there: because he'd lost the one true connection he'd made in god knows how long. That's rlly the only way I see him sitting thru Dagen's bullshit lmao.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wanted him to see Brit again,, and I just wanted to see him more in general tbh, esp because he makes a reappearance where so many prior Jigsaw survivors do not. I would've liked to see him interact with Simone given that they both lost a limb/nearly a limb (in Mallick's case). This is related to that, but I also wish the evidence of the 10 Pints trap wasn't just. A tiny scar? I HC that it took his whole hand, so.

Strahm:

How I feel about this character: Ohhh my beloved. Why didn't they give you a better narrative it would've been SO interesting. I love you though <3

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly? Still super fond of Gibson/Strahm in a scenario where things are different,, I've written quite a bit abt them and kinda want to again but if I do it'll probably be. Not for a while + VASTLY different. but recent additions have been Hoffman (I used to. not understand Stroffman whatsoever. now I Get It) and Adam!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: PEREZ!!! I've always thought of them as best friends since I first saw IV, and I do think he genuinely cared about her - quite a lot, actually, esp given how devastated he was when she was injured. They hang out at each other's apartments all the time + get coffee regularly. I love them.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't think he's a dumbass?? I don't know if that's unpopular. I think that he's IMPULSIVE and that it gets him into trouble, but Strahm has always struck me as incredibly intelligent + has a good moral compass for the most part?? I mean, he figured out there was a second apprentice (second as far as he knows, anyway) helping with traps just by examining Kerry's crime scene. I think he's VERY smart. He just acts quickly + sometimes that means there's not much planning for if things go south. (I DO agree that showing up to the packing plant w/out backup was dumb though,, doesn't mean he DESERVED the Water Cube but y'know)

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: It's not really mentioned if he does in canon, but I wish he'd been made aware of the fact that Perez was alive,, it bothers me that he might've died not knowing she was okay. The other thing is that I wish he'd survived V!!! I think it would've been WAY more narratively satisfying for him to kinda follow in Tapp's footsteps as a vigilante Jigsaw hunter. (That's why I love yr takes on him so much!!)

Rigg:

How I feel about this character: He has such a big heart. He cares so so much. I wish ppl talked about him more :(

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Gibson!!! And uhh Hoffman, but they're exes,, but! In a scenario I'm kind of going over in my head, maaaybe Adam... the basics though is that he searches the Nerve Gas House independently and somehow finds the Bathroom following II, and He is the one to rescue Adam. Very tentative abt that one though bc I'm still working it out lol. (Possibly Eric/Adam/Rigg???)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Eric!!! His best friend <3 I think he's also pretty close with Kerry, though I think he hangs out w her independent of Eric given,, the messy ex situation. I think he probably got along well with Fisk too!! OH and I think he and Sing would've been good friends as well. The chaos of a Rigg/Gibson/Sing friend trio...

My unpopular opinion about this character: Mmm I don't know that I have one? Other than maybe like. I understood why he went through the door. He knew Eric was on the other side; he just didn't know the circumstances or what would happen if he went through. All he knew was that he was that much closer to someone he's been trying to find/rescue for MONTHS + someone he cares for deeply. Of COURSE he went through. He breaks my heart ugh,,,

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wish he hadn't even been tested!!!! His one flaw was that he cared about ppl and somehow John saw that as something he needed to fix!!! Like yes I do agree that it was eating away at him and the obsession might've been unhealthy, but that's two of his closest friends dude!! I don't think he deserved to be tested for that. I don't. He just wanted to help ppl and keep them safe. I absolutely despise how Rigg was treated dkjflkdf!!!!

#saw #eric #adam #william #mallick #strahm #rigg #asks #long post #THANK U I loved getting 2 answer this!!! #+ if anyone else wants 2 send more for different SAW characters I'm still open to these!! #dude I have So Many Feelings abt rigg lately goddd #also I just realized tht this is all my f/os. rigg is a platonic one But Still!!!

[kuronekonerochan]

Random rant about Court Lady (ps: if you like the drama just don’t read it pls, or if you do, don’t @ me)

Disclaimer: I personally hate this drama and I almost never post about dramas negatively, just for the ones I like and ignore the ones I dislike. This one annoys me and I am aware that my criticism is probably only partially objectively valid and also partially nitpicks that irked me but are not “wrong” per se.

Also,just bc I don’t like it, if others like it, I have nothing to say about it except that liking it is as valid as my opinion and If you’re enjoying it, I’m glad and in no way judging bc in the end it’s just fiction and to each its own :)

I started watching this and dropped it at about ep8 bc I didn’t really enjoy it, despite the fact that I did find the production and technical aspects of the drama good and a bit different from the usual (including costume choices, etc). I even liked some of the characters like the Lu Daughter, the Pirate and the Princess (the one who hooks up with the ml’s brother). Mostly I liked Xu Kai, even as a bratty dude. Still, not enough stuff to keep my interest. After that I saw a random ep and realized the leads barely show up (and not even together) and that the screentime was dedicated to way too many  secondary characters, none of them the least interesting or likable.

But then I got bored and watched the latest eps of court lady,and tho pirate, princess and enemy daughter all show up, it's still boring and although it has  tons of characters, 99% of them are entitled psychopaths, and not even interesting psycho types at that, or masterminds that are enjoyable to watch. Nope they are all just annoying bullies and horrible ppl, men and women alike and what enjoyment can I get from this drama where the leads are almost never on scene together, there is a million subplots and characters yet almost no characters are likable and worth rooting for?

(Also, on nitpicking stuff, even tho they are probably historically accurate, I  ended up really disliking those stupid male hats and that terrible female wig style updo that looks terrible on almost every actress, while also making most of them impossible to tell apart. Besides, I changed my mind about the costume design...it ended up being a mess (not bc I don't like it personally) but bc you have scholars, penniless retired pirates, nobleman and royalty all wearing the exact same type of clothes with no difference in fabric, or embellishments or accessories to tell apart their hierarchic rank. Truly, one of the royals was addressed as your majesty and I'm like "dude, your clothes seem cheaper than the extras and servants around you".)

I ended up watching one of the latest ep where the leads finally have decent screentime...and omg it's not only the 1000 side characters who are unlikable, the leads are awful too...why would anyone do a drama with just terrible people? I kind of wish them all the equivalent of period White truck of Doom ending (maybe a collective corpse bridge like 2ha or TGCF?).

And for final exit rant on the latest eps:

Idk what I was thinking checking this drama out  again...seriously all the chars in this are either plain bullies, or that plus rapists (both genders, really...dudes all try to force themselves on the women and all the women take advantage of the men being drunk/poisoned, etc to sleep with them without them being able to give conscientious consent)...this might be the worse char ensemble drama I've ever seen. not a single relatable/likable char on sight, and they give us a million of them too.

 This is truly bizarre... this type of behavior dramas usually give to their villains, so you know, of those actions they're showing are morally bad. In this one all the characters are bad doing shitty things but the drama itself is so blase about it it kind of treats all of this stuff as normal and okay?! 

It's not as if I'm usually an sjw on fiction...I enjoy my bastard characters, but the whole vibe of this drama is...off, like completely disconnected from regular human behavior, as if they all got their moral compass set to fucking awful, so fucking awful became the new normal. It's very weird bc it's almost as they don't care if there isn't anyone worth rooting for.

 And it's not just the actions of the characters...on some (much better) dramas/novels, the "heroes" are also just as morally grey as the villains and the only reason we root for them is because we're on their side (e.g. Joy of Life, Qi Ye, WoH, The Advisers’ Alliance, Ever Night S1), but usually on those dramas the characters have their own personal reasons for "ends justify the means" and from their perspective, whether doing bad or good stuff they don't think of themselves as villains, and likewise the “true” villains in those dramas also have their own narrative and reasoning which makes them somewhat relatable even if we disagree or hate them. In this ppl act shitty, fully aware that they are shitty and without remorse, for very weak reasons and honestly most of those actions are more bc they can than to serve a purpose. They are all amoral idiots. I'm weirdly fascinated by this drama's mindset.

Basically they are all that dude friend from To Rule in a Turbulent World on the first chapter beating Sanado to death just bc, but instead of giving him a context and character depth showing different sides to him (and I ended up really liking that character), the ppl in this drama just have their characters doing that shit again and again and never try to give any sort of dimension to them.

I am the Ryan Reynolds "but...why?" meme watching this.

PS: I am very aware of how repetitive and unfocused and messy this rant is, but this is a compilation of my watching experience at various stages blended into this one post and honestly this drama does not deserve me wasting my time to make this text any more cohesive, so rambly barely comprehensive mess it is.

#court lady #cdrama #cnovel #to rule in a turbulent world #qi ye #the advisers' alliance #joy of life #word of honor #word of honour #ever night #it's been a while since I made a ranty rant #cdrama rant #cdrama rambles #it just annoys me when I see a drama with a great production value wasted on a bad story plot and script #especially when the acting isn't bad either...the direction is super weird and the editing is sort of awkward but I don't dislike the actors #also this is based on a novel so i'm probably offending both novel and drama fans with this #the thing is sometimes a novel can get away with elements like this bc of how it's written and gives context and reasoning through #inner monologues to the actions of its characters #i never read the novel this is based on so it might just be a case of it translating poorly to live action #but that's on the show's adaptation and script to fix #for example I liked both the novel and the drama for Faraway Wanderers #but it did have some elements that could have translated badly to the live action #and I think the changes they did to the script while some being required bc censorship #others were helpful towards making the story better and with a bigger emotional impact for a live action format

[wendibird]

SPN 15X17 Observations

Well, watching this week went pretty smoothly (and I was actually able to get my little bluetooth keyboard thing to talk to my tablet so I was able to watch on my big TV screen and type up notes fairly easily. :) 

And just to clarify, sometimes my notes as I took them were VERY brief, and in some cases I’ve gone back and added in a few details or explanations to make clear what I meant by what at the time. 

I’ve also come to the conclusion that I don’t always remember to take notes, especially if Important Things are happening. (Do people even like the notes section? Or would you just prefer reading my odd takes on everything after the fact?) 

Anyway, here’s what I have for 15X17 “Unity”. Well, I do have more thoughts drifting around, but I’m always concerned that I’m going on too long as it is. *LOL*  (Under the cut for length and spoiler aversion)

Okay, going in I’ve heard rumors that this is a “Sam Heavy” episode, so we’ll see. *fingers crossed* 

- wow, is Chuck starting in on this world already?

- Silent treatment.

- I wonder if she’s guessed.

- fuck you Dean!

(but I’m not surprised. it just confirms what I’d already suspected about how Dean really feels about Jack.)

Commercial Thoughts:

Yeah, so, I’m firmly in Sam and Cas’ camp here. Jack may not be family to Dean, but he is to them. He’s their Son. 

I also think that though he hasn’t talked about it, Sam regrets his part in the Drama Coffin plan involving Jack last season. Think it’s one of those cases where he realized too late he was on the wrong side, and he doesn’t want to be there again.

As for Dean… I get that he wants to see the people he cares most about make it out of this. (Sam and Cas.) And I get he’s doing the tunnel vision thing. I think he knows that Sam’s right but he won’t let himself admit it.

- Wow….. The fanangels are kinda creepy.

- They’ve lost all their nuance with Chuck. Or my theory is right and Chuck has actually shifted darkside.

- Oh wow…. Amara is really going to bat here.

Commercial Thoughts:

Still not sure how much she’s (Amara) really guessed. She’s acting as though the whole “trapping him” idea is still a go, but what she’d said to Dean, as pointedly as she did, it seemed like maybe she suspected what was really going on and was still trying to give him the option to go a different way.

And even if this is Chuck having shifted dark, it could still be written with more nuance than this crappy villain schtick.

I mean, even in S11 when he’s all but given up on humanity and existence and was going to let Amara win, it was written with there being a depth to him about it.

- Don’t know if Dean’s trying to convince himself that he doesn’t care as deeply to make this easier or what.

- HOw is ADAM still alive?! And she’s an angel?

- Interesting behavior for an angel. *LOL*

- “Then he moved on to our sons.” Hints of Cain and Abel?

- Okay, so the angel kept him alive. (Sure, I can buy that.) 

- Pretty Crystals!

- He’s (Dean) heard those lines before. And Dean’s feeling uneasy about it.

- Amethyst! (Sorry, always had a thing for Amethyst and it’s my birthstone)

- (oh, okay, all of them)

- Ewww….. Open heart surgery

- Rib!

- Dean doesn’t like being rail-roaded.

- Talk time.

- I don’t like this…… (Jack using the rib and starting the suicide-bomb process.) 

Commercial Thoughts:

Okay, so, what Dean said, I’m glad he said it. And I have been getting hints of that feeling from him the whole season, about feeling disconnected because of what they found out about Chuck and their lives. I just… I still think he’s willfully blinding himself to what’s really going on. That even this version of “Free Will” is a script that he’s following. (Well, I think he’s starting to have misgivings about that.)

- Uh-oh! Ideas! 

- I love two researching nerds!

- Were we supposed to understand the Latin? *LOL* I caught “Mortem” in there a few times.

- Yey door!

- “your internal compass is functioning perfectly”

- I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!

- Who dat?

- Dead someone or other

- W section.

- Reapers maybe?

- Who’s thinning the ranks?

- Empty!Meg!

- Sam is good! (At bluffing the hell out of an ancient cosmic being.) 

- IT’S A LITTLE LATE TO STOP IT!!!!

Commercial Thoughts:

*FREAKING OUT!!!*

Jack already started it! OG!Adam said that once started the reaction couldn’t be stopped.

Okay, deeper thoughts. Everyone’s playing chess. Still. The game is just bigger.

OG!Adam wants God dead because of stuff that happened. And Billy is following his plan? (Did I get that right?) The plan will make Billy the next God. (Not surprised there honestly.) Her world will be a lot more “orderly” no doubt.

The Empty just wants to sleep. (Honestly, can relate.) 

But everyone’s just using them all as gamepieces again. Dean’s getting that feel from things OG!Adam and Whatserfaceangel said. Sam knows now too. They’re still stuck in someone else’s story. They’re still not gaining true “Free Will”. I’m hoping that the route they take will actually get them off this train track.

- DUDE - WHAT (was in reference to Dean pulling a gun on Sam)

- Go Sam! He’s not letting this one go. (Referring to my feelings on Sam feeling bad about Jack and the Drama Coffin thing from way before, and him NOT settling for Dean’s plan this time, him sticking to his guns and saying what he feels and taking action.) 

- Chuck played her (Amara) too.

- Not again! (Oh Jack, will this forever be your fate?)

- FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

Holy shit! That episode!

Okay, it actually did a good job of wrapping up a lot of ideas. Like, big-picture ideas that have been themes throughout the run of the show. 

Also, apparently this was the only world where Cas and the Winchesters broke the mold? Didn’t play by their roles?

Also, minor point but it made me happy: Chuck pointed out how it’s Sam who needed to find things out. Sam who kept digging. I made mention of it last episode how Billy kept going to Dean, because he was easier for her to manipulate. But Sam asks more questions. I think part of it is what Cas said about his internal compass. I think another part is his experiences. He’s been the brunt of the cosmic plot-lines a LOT of the time. So he does keep asking questions because of all the times he hadn’t and things went badly. (Like end of S4 with killing Lilith.) 

And let me be clear, it’s not that I think Dean is dumb. He isn’t. And he and Sam both make decisions a lot based on their feelings. (Sometimes it’s all you have to go on.) But he’s shown a tendency in the past several years especially to be more likely to make them based on anger. And he doesn’t get called on it often. And I don’t know if this is TOO meta (is that even a thing with this show anymore? *LMAO*) but I feel like part of that is written into the script. Of their world. Even when Dean’s wrong he’s often proven “right” by the narrative. He very rarely is made to face up to his mistakes. (Not saying he never is. But it definitely doesn’t seem to happen as often.) And I’m wondering, is that because up till now, he was Chuck’s favorite? We saw that Chuck can manipulate a LOT of things. And events, and even some people. 

How often have we noticed and commented on how the Narrative backs Dean up so much of the time, even when he might be in the wrong? Or even just questionable? Or morally grey? How much of that is possibly now supposed to be due to Chuck’s meddling? Because I’ve also seen it mentioned (and have also noticed) that although Sam winds up the “wrong one” a lot via the narrative, he’s actually HAD to learn and grow because of that. But because Dean is rarely shown as wrong, he hasn’t had to, and his character has stagnated a lot in the last several seasons. Of course, in reality, that’s due to the writing/show-running/powers-that-be making those decisions, but in-show could it possibly be something to do with Chuck? Maybe at first because he liked Dean more? But as time grew on, and he kept trying to set up his Cain and Abel plot with them, maybe it was to reinforce Dean’s self-image that he’s Right? 

And also by contrast, we had the end of last season where so many of Sam’s decisions which had been made with best intentions and best information/resources at the time wound up blowing-up in his face. As if to say "Ha-HAH! That's what you get for thinking you could lead people! That's what you get for thinking you could save Jack! That's what you get for thinking someone like Nick could be redeemed! That's what you get for talking your brother out of the Drama-Coffin plan!" It felt like it was specifically intended to make him severely doubt his own judgement. And it worked. After all that shit went down, one thing after another, culminating with their mother's death, he didn't trust himself. He didn't believe in himself. So he put all his trust in Dean. And Dean was full of RAGE. (I don't blame him. His Mom has been a keystone of his life, even when she wasn't there.) But Sam didn't give the objections he normally would have to Dean's plan to box-up Jack. Even though it was CLEAR how much he didn't like it. How wrong it felt to him.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is, I think Chuck has been nudging and manipulating a LOT of things in order to get the Winchesters to behave how he wants them to. 

IDK. My head is hurting from some of these meta thoughts. *LOL*

SO! Back to what happened in the actual episode.

I thought the format was interesting, focusing in on the different POV characters for their spans of the story until it all came together. (Wondering if this is going to continue into the next episode…) 

I liked that we got a lot of reveals about what is (possibly) really going on, in regards to the grand schemas. Because there are several at play here. But now we're at least getting glimpses of them. 

Even though we didn't see Billy, I thought the reveal about her plans were interesting, but definitely fit with her character as established so far. I know a lot of people are saying she's gotten drunk with her power or she's "turning evil" but I don't think that's the case. It's true that she hasn't told them everything about her plans, but that's because she's also using them as pieces in her game. But her goal is the same as it's always been since we first met her. She has ALWAYS been about the Natural Order. She never liked how the Winchesters (or anyone else) flaunted death again and again. So once she's in charge? Everyone and everything goes where they belong. The demons stay in hell, the angels stay in heaven, souls go where they're meant to, people from other universes go back (even if there's no universe to go back TO. Tough shit, they'd be dead anyway according to her) and those who have already died and been resurrected? They go back to wherever they should be. (At least, I THINK that was the implication made, with Sam asking Dean if he'd be willing to trade HIM to take-out Chuck. Sam was definitely realizing a LOT when Empty!Meg told him what Billy's plan was.) 

This isn't her turning Evil like has been done with Chuck. It's more, her becoming a more extreme version of what she already was. When she got her promotion, she found out a LOT more things. Including this option of events for taking Chuck out and putting things back to how they belong. And it even started with Dean's aborted Drama Coffin plan. Which eventually fails, because Sam, but it then leads to Jack sacrificing his soul to take out AU Michael, which eventually leads to Mary's Death and Chuck's opportunity to manipulate things more and so on and so forth until we wind up here. 

(Also, just wanna say, absolutely LOVED Rachel as the Empty again!) 

And also, having just watched that scene again, can I just say again how awesome Sam is? He straight-up told the Empty that even if he WAS lying, their best bet is to let him go with the book. And it couldn't really argue with that because he was right! (Well, if it had killed him then and there, Dean probably wouldn't have known right away and probably would have been able to carry out the plan. So there is that. Buuuuut none of them knew that either at the time.) 

And in general, I love how Sam just would NOT give up. This is the Sam Winchester I've come to love. He could feel in his bones that this plan was wrong so he was doing everything he could to not only stop it, but to find some other way to get what they truly wanted. 

I also loved his and Cas' interactions. They were supportive of each other and both were trying to find a way to save their son. (Dean has officially forfeited his Dad-Card in my book. Hell, in his book too.) Also, I remember hearing someone from production, or who was maybe on set or something mentioning something about the Holy Grail in this episode? Well, in that scene where Sam and Cas are looking through those old crates and trunks and boxes, when Cas finds the key Sam is holding this really old looking chalice. Wonder if that's supposed to be what that is. *LOL* I mean, the Spear of Destiny (or at least, the head of the spear) was there in the Bunker, so why not I guess? *LOL*

We didn't get a lot of Sam and Jack interaction, but I liked what little we had. Sam made it clear to Jack that he wants to save him. (I'm really hoping we get SOMETHING more of them in the next episode or two but... yeah. Not a lot of time left.) 

I could go on for some length about my feelings on Dean and how he's been this season. But I don't want this to turn into a fully anti-Dean rant. I will say though that I'd definitely gotten the impression before this that Dean has different categories of people he cares about, and in his mind, he also has them ranked according to how expendable they are. And I'm not just talking about Jack here, though he is a major part of it. But at the end of the episode when he and Sam are having it out, Dean says he's basically willing to sacrifice EVERYONE to get what he wants. 

(I don't think he's actually willing to sacrifice Sam for it though. And yes, I know, he was waving a gun in Sam's face. But I don't believe for a moment he had any intention of killing his brother. Not when Sam asking point blanc if Dean is willing to trade him for killing Chuck, and that seems to be what causes Dean to start listening to what Sam's saying. Also, in the past, Dean hasn't been above threatening people to get what he wants. Like with Kaia. Also in S8's "Trail and Error" when he and Sam were talking about taking out the hellhound, Dean pretty much said if Sam even tries to get close to it, Dean would shoot him in the leg. Now, we never got to see if he actually would have or not, but regardless, it was a case of Dean being willing to hurt Sam a little in order to protect him from something he saw as a bigger threat. In that case it had been taking on the trials. In this case, it would have been to win their shot at freedom. At least in Dean's mind. Not saying I approve! Just, I think that's where his mindset was.) 

And this is a far cry from the Dean who, just a few years ago was willing to be a kamikaze bomb in order to save the world. And yes, Dean has mentioned "Saving the world" this season too. And I'm sure he means that too. But when he was at his most emotional, what he was talking about wasn't saving the world and everyone in it. It was freeing him and Sam from being Chuck's entertainment. And he's willing to sacrifice nearly anyone to accomplish that. At least, he was up til now. I hope that they're going to give him a change of heart before the end because I really REALLY would like the show to end with me not despising Dean and what he's become. Yes, I'm a Sam-girl, but I do care about Dean too. 

Also, I feel bad for Amara and what wound up happening with her. Like many other characters, she fell victim to Chuck's manipulations, and now I'm guessing he's even stronger than before. But also, Chuck wasn't the only one manipulating her. And maybe if they, (Dean especially, since she had a soft-spot for him) had actually been trying to find another way earlier, she wouldn't have fallen to despair when finding out the truth. 

Aaaaaanyway, I think I've rambled enough about this episode as it is. Thank you to whoever actually bothers to read all of this. *LOL*

#spn 15x17 spoilers #spn season 15 spoilers #episode review #my thoughts #tangents: i tend to live in them #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #jack kline #the darkness/amara #god/chuck #i think your internal compass is functioning perfectly #sam is jack's dad #castiel is jack's dad

[imagine-darksiders]

If there is a darksiders 4, what would you ideally like to see? In terms of plot? Characters? Mechanics?

Okay, so I think it’d be cool to have all Four Horsemen as part of the game from the very beginning, obvi. But instead of complicating things and having to switch constantly between all 4, we only play as one. I think Death, he’s the leader, he’s the older sibling, he’s the Last Horseman. 

What I’d really like to see is humans playing a much larger role in the game, so let’s say there’s a human character who acts as a sort of moral compass and they’re all like ‘why does there need to be a huge end war between every species? Who came up with that rule? A weirdo? Why don’t we just not fight each other and focus on the ones who actually threaten the whole lot of us?’ 

And they convince the Four that their best bet for beating Lucifer and the Charred Council is to find help. SO, as Death, we basically have to go on this massive-scale recruitment drive to find allies who’re willing to fight beside us against the council, Lucifer, Lilith etc. 

Let’s say, War goes off and appeals to the Hellguard, and we get to see whether he makes good on his promise to punish Azrael. Fury meets back up with Ulthane [”One day, we will set things right... together”] and they go off to the maker realm while Strife goes to the undead. Death’s job is to travel to each respective realm and aid his siblings in convincing the different species to fight with them. 

I’d also like to see Ulthane and Azrael reunite. 

It would be great to see the same level of armour customisation we saw in Darksiders 2 but throw in some custom items for Despair too lol. 

Call me a sadomasochist, but I believe it would really add some depth to the story if there was at least one major death, like a permanent death this time, with no hope of resurrection. It doesn’t even have to be one of the Four, maybe just someone they’ve come to consider a friend. I want to hurt playing this game.

There are 3 main bosses in each chapter let’s say. And you have to work your way up to them. 

Charred Council is the first, followed by Lilith and finally, the big bad himself - Lucifer. 

Oh wait! So, things are looking dicey for our protags, but then! Bam. Enter humans who unknowingly use the....idk the 🎀  𝓅♡𝓌𝑒𝓇 🌸𝒻 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅  🎀 and step in and kill Lucifer. And it turns out ‘wow the  h u am ns have already unlocked their true  potential but we just never reealised!’ 

Lastly, let’s say at the end, with the Council disbanded, there is an agreement among each species that humanity deserves a place among the rest of Creation and it’s like being invited to sit at the cool kids table. Anyway the balance is bullshit and everyone just learns to get along or the Horsemen will issue righteous justice the end. :P 

#darksiders #darksiders 2 #darksiders 3 #darksiders genesis #darksiders 4?

[jackrrabbit]

ask answering/updates

first of all, thank you 💘 second of all...

ok ok ok don’t get too excited, but I finally got the juice to start working on the next part of Fanatic 🖤 most of you guys will be like ‘who cares’ but i know some of you have been waiting for this for a while! it’s been what, 2 months?? hope I’m not jinxing myself by saying this *knocks on wood* also not to hype myself too much but it’s kinda bomb 😳 maybe this is just my sick bias but I’ve really been wanting to write about...aftermath iykwim haha. reader all scared & shy & trying to avoid him but yk he’s not going to leave her alone :P

I also figured out the ending to it will come back!! it wouldn’t be shiggy if it didn’t get dangerous 😈 also gonna be nice to write some eyes-rolling-back-in-the-head fuckery so our favorite handsy creep can finally get his dick wet with his beloved little nursey <3

here are some other vague ideas, some based on requests, some not. as always no promises!!

BNHA—pillage & plunder with fantasy AU warlord Bakugo (and his gang of ruffians?? hmm...)

BNHA—Overhaul makes you work off your daddy’s gambling debts the extra hard way uwu...also I have SO many ideas for Overhaul 😷 after I finish iwcb my next multi-part fic will probably be with him

BNHA—various things with reader as an aspiring villain set in the same universe as Caught in the Act: reader getting quarantined with shiggy & dabi...dabi getting mad at you after you keep fucking up...incel shiggy jacking it to his adorable protégée without her knowledge (a galaxy brain request from a very good buddy!!!!)

BNHA—ABO with alpha Hawks and omega reader in an elevator...and uh-oh, it’s stuck! and you’re going into heat! oh no, whatever will you do??

Haikyuu—you get stuck in a hole in a wall, good thing your dutiful boyfriend Kuroo is there to help you out ;)

Haikyuu—gangbang with Tsukki, Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kuroo...a challenge bc I’ve never written a gangbang before!! will have to do some research 🧐

Haikyuu—your bf Atsumu does mean things when he’s jealous, like putting his hands up your skirt in public

KNY—Kokushibou decides to keep a shrine maiden as his cute little human pet 💜 actually already wrote pt. 1 but I’ll wait to post til I’m done with Fanatic

AxK—just some no good very bad yandere content with Dr. Midori...neglect play stuff...sensory deprivation stuff...icky icky

Gintama—something with Kamui. does this count as monsterfucking? very very rough...idk what exactly? some form of dastardly acts

thanks for the concern friends 💕💕 I’ve been preoccupied by things happening irl for the past few weeks, trying to educate myself, going to protests, etc.

also in case anyone else is confused, my stance is and always has been that Black lives matter and all cops are bastards. I’m not sure my porn blog is the right place to talk about this at length but if you’re a bootlicker, please smash that unfollow button and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. if you don’t already have a decently functioning moral compass you should not get anywhere near my writing...fr

learn more and get involved

omg thank you & yes yes a million times yes!!! hope you don’t mind commitment issues and student loan debt 💝👯‍♀️

the line between not hawksfucker and hawksfucker is very thin and very blurry, beware.....lol and thank you!!

the video you recommended...like damn!!! that’s exactly the vibe I feel like fratty Hawks x reader from be a little bad would be like if they had a happy ending eventually (start at 1:39)!!!!! “I didn’t make you do this” “I’m not accusing you of anything” it’s that exact dynamic. imo Hawks might be a little less willing to make things official and reader would prob have a hard time being straightforward enough to ask tho...hmmm

I did get several requests for a part 2! I’m thinking it over atm. I will say tho that most of my reqs have very slow turnaround so if I write it, it might be a while

ooh I love getting recommendations! here’s what I like:

fanfic: I read stuff like what I write (smut, kink, yandere, villains). at some point I’m going to make a long post of fic recs of my own! I also read fluff and character x character ship fic so interests are pretty broad

TV: humor, crime shows like Bones, Criminal Minds, Psych, that kind of thing. nothing too dark or complicated, nothing that requires too much investment. same goes for anime

movies: pretty much everything! lately I’m really into Howl’s Moving Castle and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

books: literary fiction. can I say I’m into dark academia if the only dark academia I’ve read is The Secret History? favorite books I’ve read semi-recently are TSH, All the Light We Cannot See, The Poisonwood Bible, and Discipline & Punish. currently reading Foucault’s History of Sexuality

music: idk man...all kinds of stuff. I listen based on vibe more than genre. all my spotify playlists are named things like “sunday” and “the power” and “[sparkle emoji]”. my artists on repeat are Hozier, The Weeknd, Kendrick, M.I.A., The Neighborhood (F I’m a basic bitch) but I’ll try anything once

jfc these two asks have given me so much hope 🥰😭💗 you know what? sooner or later I’m going to post Kamui x reader smut and it’s going to get 3 notes from the three of us liking it and that’s okay because I’ve thirsted over this man too long and too hard to go my entire life without reading over-indulgent reader-insert porn of him. yes the villain kink jumped out but DAMN!!! the man has ‘h*rny scumbag who lets his instincts rule him’ baked into both his DNA and his psyche, and I’m so here for it 😌

if you don’t know who Kamui is, do me a favor and watch gintama. yes there are like 400 episodes but it’s worth it. I will convert more bitches to the gintama thirst train if it costs me my life. Kamui was made to star in disrespectful breeding kink smut and this is a hill I will die on.

??? sure, if you can point me toward part 2 ????? lmao

I’m guessing you meant to ask for a pt 2 instead of pt 3? in which case, thanks for asking!! but tbh...for some reason I have a really hard time imagining what a pt 2 would look like, maybe because I wrote it 100% from Overhaul’s POV so it’s hard for me to define the reader’s feelings. I’m not saying it’ll never happen but 🤷‍♀️

HOWEVER if it’s Overhaul content in general you’re craving, you’re in luck!!! he’s a favorite of mine. legit he ticks so many of my boxes—villain kink? check. medical/scientist kink? check. yakuza kink? honey I’m weak. I’ll definitely be writing more for him in the future!

oh no! I checked it on my computer & on mobile and all of the links are working for me? are the links still broken for you guys?

anyway, here are the rules, here’s the short version of the request rules, and here is part 1 and part 2 of it will come back.

thank you to everyone who has sent kind words, everyone who replies to my writing, and everyone who posts thirst in the tags!!! I read that shit!!!! and it makes me fucking cry, I love you all

one more thing: several people have requested continuations to Sleepless, Sidekick, and Fanatic. on one hand, I’m so flattered that you guys want more!!! on the other hand, I actually already answered asks about pt. 2′s for those particular fics. before you request a continuation of anything, it’s probably a good idea to look up the name of the fic as a tag on my blog so you can check and see if anyone else had the same question 💖💖💖

#bunny talks #bnha #haikyuu #kny #gintama #AxK #about me #personal #recommendations #updates #yubitsume #bealittlebad #caughtintheact #itwillcomeback

[stargir1z]

hello !! ik this may sound super vague but do you have any advice on where to start for understanding youself better / spirituality . ive been having a rough year kinda and realised how out of touch id become but idk where to start to pick up the pieces once again aaaa this might b a hard / heavy to answer q but i just thought ud be a good person to ask :P hope u have a good day angel

i really dont know why you selected me for this question considering i know next to nothing about real spiritual practice lmao.. but ill try my best <3

id say one of the most important things you can do is cultivate your environment to be both encouraging of self reflection as well as safe and homely. follow instagram/tumblr/etc pages that open up discussion of ideas you want to learn about or show aptitude at things you struggle with -- ranging from simple things like if you really value taking care of your hair follow someone with good hair, to something more emotional like someone who talks about their healthy relationships/friendships that might encourage you to implement their practices into your own social life, etc. also just cleanse cleanse cleanse! 1. get rid of all the clothes you like the IDEA of but actually hate WEARING (same thing with makeup and hair and etc products), 2. organise your google drive, bookshelf, photo album, basically any place you use to organise and keep track of information and learning tools... this will give you direction in the sense that by figuring out what you dont need, you can narrow down what you are drawn towards and what you might be emotionally and intellectually craving . 

same thing w ur friends. do ur close friends teach you anything about yourself?  do they encourage you to explore yourself, to try new things, to bring new ideas back to them so you can talk about it? if not -- if you feel like they hold u back growth wise or severely distract you from getting to know yourself -- then youre in a bit of a social stalemate and maybe it’s time to meet sum new people. u should always have friends that act as a sort of mirror to urself. through your similarities and differences with another, you are given a chance to widen your understanding of the human condition (and therefore ur compassion), take comfort in the connection between u and another, and use ur new understanding and relief for problem solving in your own life .

last thing ill say is write a lot. i struggle with this too and often feel that time passes by way too quickly as im absorbed in Going Through The Motions without any real meaning. a couple things that give me hope and definition in my life even if i dont have the energy for a whole diary entry are just noting down a beautiful/emotionally charged moment quickly in your notes app (like . i saw the stars ivery clearly n hk for the first time ever after 3 years of living here a couple days ago at 3 am when i was smokin on my balcony and i was absolutely amazed) or when you feel frustration, overwhelm, anger, or an indescribable sadness just have some sort of private story or notes app folder and start writing and trust me itll be hard to STOP. 

also take pictures of your friends. and yourself, and places you go. what do you feel when you look at them? what does the experience teach you, and what does the feeling of the experience captured teach you? and b grateful for that. i think just giving love is the fastest way to remind urself why u are here. get a gift for someone. write an email to an old mentor or a txt to a friend from years ago. try to always say happy birthday and when u have the energy, slide up on someones call of distress and give some words of care. the feeling of power found in touching someone else... i think that can center u and give dimension to your self perception, seeing urself outside of urself in the form of ur kindness . 

i hope this made sense! much kis n lov <3

#anon #**

[hawkbucks]

It’s AUnytime which means I finally have an excuse to post a myriad of AU’s. Dragon Age!AU because I said so and also because the 4th game is coming out and I’m very, very excited for it, I love Dragon Age so much, thanks. Also: ROGUE 4 LIFE.

Idk when this takes place, so please do not ask me hgfjdksl I’m inclined to say after Inquisition but we all know how nothing is really set in stone with me so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Do not ask me where this takes place either, because I also don’t know. Ferelden? The Free Marches? Orlais? Nevarra? Who knows, because I certainly don’t. I said that but teyrn is a specifically Fereldan term, so they’re in Ferelden, I GUESS. Let’s pretend that Kinloch is… better (which would probably put this after Origins and sometime before Inquisition or… god, I should stop).

Anyway, basic stuuuuuuuff:

Anthony is the son of the influential teyrn Howard Stark. He comes into his magic at the age of 8 when he burns–and scars–a young Tiberius Stone after Tiberius kept harassing him. All his life, he’s grown up hearing about the dangers of magic: it’s a punishment bestowed by the Maker upon mankind for their ambition and greed. Wielders of magic are usually taken from their families when their powers manifest and brought to schools called Circles. Anthony, scared of both the implications of being imbued with magic and the very real threat of being separated from his family, flees.

‘Course, he’s 8 so he doesn’t get very far. They find him in a wheat field, scorched earth forming a circle around him. Maria begs H*ward to keep Anthony with them. She’ll find a teacher, pay them well, just please don’t let them take Anthony away. H*ward doesn’t really give a shit, though. Mage children cannot inherit land or fortune, so what’s the point of keeping Anthony? Plus, he’d be accused of nepotism and his reputation would go down the chamberpot.

He lets the Templars take Anthony away. It’s a shame, really. Anthony  has shown great prowess with an anvil and a pair of blacksmithing tools, and Howard has no doubt that Tony’s natural charisma would’ve been a great help in the court of Thedosian politics. The only thing they allow him to bring is a plush mabari that his mother bought for him when he was a wee bit younger (he named it “Dummy” and he’s refused to part with it ever). There are tears, yes, quite a bit of them. When Maria pulls away, her entire shoulder is soaked, but there really is nothing that she can do. As much as she hates H*ward’s decision, she also knew it was the only way Anthony could stay safe.

It is in the Circle that he meets one James Rhodes, the child of a fisherman and seamtress from some town near a lake whose name Anthony finds to be somewhat familiar. James is maybe a year or two older than him, and he’s the only one who didn’t scoff at him when he arrived. Plus, he helped get Dummy back from a bunch of other children who wanted to tease the new arrival. He’s also much kinder to Anthony than what Anthony would’ve expected, whether that means James giving Anthony the rest of his broth if he notices that he still looks rather hungry, or James draping another blanket around Anthony’s shoulders if he notices him shivering.

(This is, of course, thanks to the fact that James has been in the Circle for a good amount of time and he knows how crushing it can be to remain alone. In Anthony, he sees this kid who’s confused, scared, just had his blood taken to make a phylactery, and who reminds him so much of how he was like when he first came in, so he tries his best to make it better. He is far, far too young to be acting this old.)

Anthony eventually nicknames James “Rhodey,” and it sticks. However, James only lets Anthony call him that. He, in turn, nicknames Anthony “Tones.” “Tony” for something slightly shorter. They spend pretty much any moment that’s not studying or learning or sleeping with each other.

(Just adding this, but Tony is shown to be adept at Primal magic, particularly fire, while Rhodey has talent in the Force side of things.)

Also, Harrowings! Harrowings are good and not at all traumatizing! Rhodey goes through his first. He’s just sitting there, eating some nice cheese with Tony, and bam! A couple of Templars take him because the enchanters decided he was ready. Thankfully, he’s able to resist the temptation of the demon and exit. Tony, when he sees him again, admits to nearly crying because he’s heard of the Harrowing—even if he doesn’t know what it specifically entails—and he was worried for Rhodey.

When Tony is taken for his Harrowing, Rhodey just prays to the Maker that he doesn’t find his best friend Tranquil or worse: with a sword driven through his body. But it’s all good. Tony comes back.

The Templars are hardasses, and some are just downright creepy, but thankfully none of them try to antagonize Tony or Rhodey.

I do want to have Pepper in this, but I was thinking of introducing her by having Tony and Rhodey eventually leave the Circle [whether through egress or me backtracking on my previous statement of not knowing when this takes place and having it be when the Breach appears in the sky and it All Goes To Hell therefore giving Tony and Rhodey a better chance to leave and not be found out] and coming across her humble little farm. She’d be older than they are and she’d have a husband, Harold/Happy, and she’d basically take them under her wing. “You’re not put off by the fact that we’re mages?” Rhodey would ask, and she’d shake her head. “Why should I be? You’re human like the rest of us. It just happens that you both are—” she’d look at the both of them up and down, taking in their robes, their silver rings, and the staves strapped to their backs— “more… talented than others.”

As for other characters, I am considering making Steve a Templar. His mother was a devout Chantry goer, and during their trips he’d see them and think they were doing the Maker’s work. Of course, he was a child, so he didn’t really… know about how terrible Templars can be, he just thought they would help protect the mages from people that wished them harm and from themselves if need be.

The only thing about him being a Templar is that I cannot see him putting aside his morals to blindly trust the command of a superior. He can’t be that emotionally rigid. “A Templar’s obedience to the Chantry is more important than their moral center.” “Bullshit,” Steven Grant Rogers replies, throwing his sword down on the ground.

If he were to be a Templar, he’d be one of those Templars that does not stand for any other Templar’s shenanigans. He calls out everyone and anyone, whether they be a lowly recruit or the goddamn Knight-Commander. He’s got a mouth; he’s going to use it. (He’s pretty sure there’s a contingent that’s planning his assassination. He wishes them luck, because he’s rather skilled in swordplay.) He’s not going to let them stray from their duty of protecting mages and the outside world.

There’s also lyrium and all that. Which brings me to Bucky. I could also make Bucky a Templar, and… it would make sense, right? A bit? That’s where him and Steve meet, and the both of them have such strong moral compasses that they hit it off almost immediately. It’s like they’re both going “Same hat! Same hat!”

Then, at some point, Bucky leaves to visit his family and he just doesn’t come back. I’m still rough on what happens, but obviously that would be the “Winter Soldier” part of his life where either a) whoever has him drastically increases his lyrium dosage to further heighten his abilities at the expense of horrific lyrium-induced nightmares and episodes of paranoia or b) red lyrium which is infinitely more worse and you know what, nah, I can’t do this to Bucky :(

Natasha is definitely a bard. Full stop. She’s a master in deception, manipulation, espionage, and she knows her way around a blade or two. She also has a delightful singing voice. However, even with the adrenaline rush of a job done right, the thrill of being caught spiking through her veins, she can’t say that she enjoys her job. It’s just that she’s good at it and Orlesian nobles are stacked with royals.

(Another option would be her being an Antivan Crow, because it certainly is as brutal as her backstory, but I just felt like her being a bard suited her better?)

Okay, that’s it for now before this gets too big gjfdkls

#da au #Idk what to name it so it's just 'da au' for now lol