#but that's pretty true to reality innit

[boghermit]

End of Act 3...

Boy do I have some decisions to make

#I'm Researching and weighing my options here THEY ALL KINDA SUCK #but that's pretty true to reality innit #the Karlach thing I uruthghghhghgh I mean [SIGH] #BETTER THAN NOTHIN I RECKON #sam plays bg3

[shinygoku]

CutCat’s ATLA Takes

Here I am, jotting them down before doing a series rewatch. This is gonna be a bit disorganised, so beware!

---

First I guess I oughta put a quick disclaimer in that Zuko is one’a my biggest Blorbos, comparible with Son Goku!  ...so like, you may notice me focusing more on him than other characters or topics or whatever lol

Also I am Not interested in the Comics or Korra series...s. The former for writing that is plain ass bad, and the latter for changing so much of the setting (not for better) and uhm, also less than good writing. If I want bad takes on Communism and Anarchy I can just go look at Twitter or some rubbish. Also I know Kyoshi novels exist. I’m just talking about the OG show, even if select pinpoints of the subsidiary installments have good moments.

This got PRETTY LONG and ain’t particularly coherent, so I’ll put a Cut in here ;3

Overall Show:

Not gonna lie, some’a the Book 1 eps get pretty throughly memoryholed, even what happens in the first two! They ain’t bad, but it does take The Storm for the series to really hit its stride with the delish Backstories.

Following that solid W of an ep is The Blue Spirit, and this is actually one of the best in the entire show. Seems they initially wrote it like it was a season finale to get more eps approved, and it worked! lol

I dig that all the characters get some character focus and growth even early on

...I’m mixed on my stance on Aang’s crush on Katara. If it was a one sided thing that started off quite strong and then de-intensified over the series, I’d find it very cute and endearing. But that sure ain’t the course they took lol, but I guess I’ll sum my thoughts on shipping in its own section later.

The real highlights of S1 are in The Storm, The Blue Spirit, The Northern Water Tribe and the Siege of the North 2-parter. All these have a lot of Zuko, fancy that XD

Also I like how early it’s set up how Built Different he is, especially them last three eps. Dude gets blown up, swim through long underwater tunnels in freezing water, barely wins a fight, treks out into the arctic, gets 1-shot in a fight, and THEN starts another fight, this time with Zhao. His only true weakness really is his mental state and lack of planning, innit!

Book 2 overall kinda bothers me. Objectively it has some of the strongest points, but so much of it feels like it’s dark and dingy or really damn slow to get moving.

Strongest points are of course Toph’s entire existence, the zigzags of Zuko’s arc, and Azula’s anatagonistic omnipresence

The rest of it, myeah... while it’s more focused on a through line plot, it feels a bit monotone until The Library and eventually The Guru and Crossroads

Zuko Alone might be the GOAT episode. It’s not my favourite but DAMN it is firing on all cylinders!!!

I also like Bitter Work a lot. Gotta eat up more Parallels Episodes, babes!

The “Brainwashing” / Sleeper Agents thing feels OP. I get ya need an antagonistic force different to the Fire Nation but myeahhh... not convincing me

But yeah, then there’s Zuko’s continued character thread with the Angst Coma and the dreams and then the REALLY WEIRD turn of him being all smiley and optimistic. It always felt really fake and non-Zuko-esque to me, but I can ‘get’ that given he’s trying hard to shift gears from the status quo of before, overcompensating in the process. What’s odder still is that Iroh doesn’t seem to question it...

Like, sure, he wants to settle down and Tea Shop it up, but even if he could get Zuko to stop pining for the position in the Royal Family, does he honestly believe a day of fever dreams will have had such a profound effect last longer than a few days of re-settling? Zuko’s actions feel like someone having decided to turn their entire life around starting tomorrow and then swiftly burning out as change is a slow and gradual process in reality, and shouldn’t be forced.

So what I think is going on is Iroh himself having become blinded by what he wants, rather than a more realistic outcome. And that could be fab gear writing! A reminder that Iroh too is not immune to bias and oversights, and is indeed a human who sometimes Dun Goofs. If it is what’s intended rather than lazier writing lol

Also yeah, Zuko’s almost- side switching, I’ll save that for later ;3

Book 3 is both a high point but again there’s some episodes that are pretty lame or have less to offer, but I feel more forgiving of this one as sooo much juicy Plot stuff actually unfolds~

Again it takes the Main Plot stepping up for the quality to rise with the Day of Black Sun, and then the episodes after all feature the long-awaited Redeemed Zuko, and those times ae Gooooooood

The stupidest moment I have to complain about though, in the DoBS, is when Azula “proves” she’s an expert liar by... saying she’s a giant purple bear thing? That’s not lying, it’s absurdism, and it’s incredibly easy to say dumb shit like that without any “lying tells” that polygraphs or Toph look for (keep in mind that irl Polygraphs actually suck, they’re a Stress detector but lying doesn’t always stress liars out... LIKE AZULA, but even the biggest ball of anxiety could say “Yeah I’m Barney the Dinosaur” without triggering anything. GRAAAAAGH)

Back on track, my only complaint with Zuko joining so late is that I want mooooore, all the eps with the ‘field trips’ are such fun AND such Character Building

Ember Island Players was a great ep, though I don’t need to see the closing scene used to draw comparisons to the live action movie any more. It’s been like 500 times.

I DON’T THINK AANG SHOULD HAVE KILLED OZAI

That would be proving Ozai’s point that Might makes Right, which of course is WRONG

The show has been leading up to non-lethal ethos

Taking Ozai’s bending is a good out.

BUT. Holy shit they fumbled the ball bad

Energybending has ZERO build up or allusions even when there were chances to sneak it in, like The Library or The Guru

Commenting on a picture of a Lion Turtle and having Lion Turtle background sculptures DOESN’T CUT IT

Because that is ALL we get!!

At least have the Lion Turtle picture say “They’re so ancient they’re rumoured to pre-date Bending” or something to hook interest in

And the Guru coulda been a great way to drop the 5th Element lore in

But they waste all chances they had to set it up despite claiming they knew from the beginning that there would be a peaceful out

The Rock unblocking Aang’s chakra is also pretty bad, but I’m more inclined to forgive a moment of luck if the Energybending wasn’t so bogus

But it could be improved if Aang like, deliberately earthbent the Rock and then used it as acupressure

Both the Energybending and Convenient Rock make Aang’s victory feel less earned, which is a huge shame as we’ve seen him actually try soooo much. But alas, that last hurdle and they resort to lazy ass writing

The lst Agni Kai rules though. It’s beautiful and tragic, showing how much Zuko has grown and Azula fell. And Katara’s finishing the fight so effectively is bodacious and actually feels really smart~

WHERE IS IROH AT THE CORONATION??!?!

The end is a cute scene that is then strangled by the Red String lol, but damn, what a cool ass show

 Characters:

Aang: He’s a cute protagonist, I’ve always liked the Cheerful and Highly Powerful archetype (cough cough Son Goku), though Aang is also heavily defined by his childishness, both a strength and a flaw. As much as I enjoy him, unfortunately I think he got a bit of the short end of the stick writing-wise, he can feel a bit Flat and, worse, like Bryke’s Pet. They lean too hard on letting him get what he wants, and we miss out of the development that coulda followed if the story didn’t twist itself to give him outs. Not unlocking his Chakras properly for selfish reasons should be punished. Finding an alternative to Murder should have had him Proactive. Not getting the Girl would have been a lot more realistic...! See the Shipping section for the latter...

Zuko: Holy rigatoni, man. Zuko is the bar by which Enemies to Friends, Redemption Arcs, Anti-Villains AND Anti-Heroes are all measured. His character has so much incredible nuance!! And yeah, maybe I too am weak to the dark and handsome and yet dorky type’a fella ;3c - I’m in the kinda situation right now where I find it hard to actually phrase everything I dig about him, but that’s from having too many thoughts and they all get crammed in the doorway between my brain and ability to type lmaooo

Katara: This girl is another high water mark (pun unintended) for how to Female Character. She’s the designated Mom of the team, but she ain’t defined by it, also being one’a the most capable fighters, having a hot temper and even a mean streak. It would really suck if she had just been written primarily to Love Interest (as the early drafts seem to imply...), but in the show, she has her own agency and goals that compliment the main quest, and she manages to be both a stable grounding force while having plenty of growth of her own.

Sokka: Again, I really wonder how it woulda turned out if the original plan had been followed; in Sokka’s case he was s’pposed to be the serious, stiffer contrast to Zany Playful Aang and Wide-Eyed Idealist Katara. But his VA is very naturally Funny, and so Sokka as we know him is a bodacious blend of Wacky yet also Level Headed. It’s an odd blend and many have tried and failed to replicate this delicate balance, but Sokka does indeed feel like a real person who seamlessly switches between being the group’s eccentric and also the one making all the plans.

Toph: ANOTHER amazing W for Girl Characters, Toph is such a delight and welcome shaking-up of the existing dynamics. She’s pretty consistently one of the most amusing and Real of the crew, while hilariously OP without it feeling cheap. It’s so weird to think she wasn’t in Book 1 at all, cause once she joins you sure as hell can’t imagine her being absent.

Iroh: Everybody loves this dude, and they’re right! What can I say about him that ain’t already been covered?? Maybe just that I do like that, as wise and benevolent as he is, there are still times where he’s allowed to be wrong or short sighted (see: my previous ramblings about Zuko’s very-un-Zuko behaviour), cause it allows him to feel more Real, and Human. That he’s speaking from experience and not from reading the script. That’s dope, man.

Azula: This is hard... I feel Azula is a massively polarising character, many people enjoy her but there’s too many people who either want to pretend she didn’t do horrible things, too many people who forget she’s also a victim, AND too many people who are just blindly like ‘woo, yeah! What a #Girlboss! Azula’s so cool and automatically wins at whatever”. Like, she’s one of the more nuanced characters but the surface level is indeed of hyper competence, it’s what’s below that veneer which is interesting. I kinda feel like more people oughta talk about the moment where she looks pleased, almost triumphant at Zuko being maimed...

And the rest: Oh god, I can’t talk about every semi-developed character as there’s a lot. Sorry Suki. You’re cool too! But most characters who appear in more that one episode see to be written pretty good, again, like People, rather than just plot devices in human skin. I like that.

...

Shipping:

lol. I think the BEST route would have been to not ‘canonise’ any ships of the ragtag group of kids and teenagers. Alas, we don’t live in that timeline and have dumb ass wars over it. Anyway, here’s my hot take:

Kaatang, while foreshadowed early on from Aang’s side, is a really lame route as Katara seems to have to loose her actual personality for it to work. Also, it jars with Aang’s role as both Avatar (while they’re allowed to Get Freaky, he was s’posed to be able to detach from Earthly attachments to gain the Avatar Powers), and as a totally-not-Buddist Monk, who are NOT allowed to get bizzay. So Aang too loses insteresting notions of Duty and being able to Mature cause he just gets what he wants without having to try. Lame.

Katara doesn’t have many moments where she even looks at Aang as something other than a Friend / Little Brother / Son?? type figure, there’s only brief moments where there is potential moments from her side, and they are far between and seldom deeper than her chemistry with the likes of Jet and Haru. The most I can speak for is the Day of Black Sun, where she’s taken aback by Aang planting one on her, but when he directly and Un-Classy-ly brings it back up in the Ember Island Players, she is quite rightly reserved and when he kisses her again without warning she’s angry! And that’s never resolved!! They just Mandatory Ship them together in the end because Bryke are biased and soooo intent of having their ship even though the writing hasn’t sufficiently built up to it. I don’t dig this, baby!

Maiko is also badly written and the comics make Mai unlikable. [slow sarcastic clapping]

So the ships I do like are:

Zutura - THEMATIC PERFECTION and not because of the red and blue, fire and water juxtaposition, but because Katara and Zuko are fundamentally so similar but coming from opposite sides and thus approaches. Both so kind at their cores but quick to anger or do something stupid on impulse, both so affected by the loss of their mothers and family-motivated. The fake out in Crossroads introduces a fascinating extra crease to their interactions that lasts, and the finale?? HELLO?!?! That’s legit one’a the most compelling Ship Fuel moments ever, baybeee! Other serieses would knaw off their own leg for material that rich!

Also yes, the red/blue, sun/moon, fire/water, and that they are pretty together lol. But still, there’s more in how they are a fantastic combo when on the same side, and also the meta reality that several writers and their own Voice Actors ship it. And they’re right to!

Zukka - The new darling of the fandom and while it doesn’t have as much going for it, I can see it. At it’s worst it feels like people desperately trying to rationalise the red/blue guys from Failtron Legendary Idiot Space Show, but when people who actually care about the characters here in ATLA and draw on their parallels and interactions I find myself enjoying it. Zuko goes well with the Water siblings I guess haha

Sukka - I don’t have much to say, I just like it lol

Also in the past I liked Zukaang but now I wanna redefine it as them being allowed to be Buddies and close friends and teammates, like what the Blue Spirit ep teased at but then didn’t really follow up on outside The Firebending Masters. I want more!! MOOOOORE!!!

...

But man this post is obnoxious and long enough already lol, thanks if ya endured it all~

#I don't think I'll be tagging this for the fandom to stumble across lol #Pre-Rewatch scrawlings

[sir-klauz]

Sorry but being so adamant that nobody can every write about anything ever in their books that isn’t basically PG or 100% purely nothing included that’s a difficult topic is terribly boring, terribly so far flung from reality, and if you do want fiction, then removing fantasy that might include difficult topics pretty much also participates in pretending it doesn’t exist and it shouldn’t be a problem to write about.

Sure, add trigger warnings and avoid things that negatively affect you and hurt you to read, but saying the writer is evil for including them or is problematic unless they themselves are expressing actually being their character they’re writing about and being a bigot, someone like JK Rowling for an easy example presenting as a bigot and writing alongside as one within her material.

It’s a bit much to put someone who’s say, writing about perhaps a homophobic crime occurring to a character/being bullied and then coining them as problematic themselves for even writing about that and “probably a homophobe themselves” and reducing writers not at all like that to this when it’s not even true.

These things, bad things, villains, and more, as bad as they are, need to be written about sometimes because often characters are Based On Real People, or have elements or depictions of real experiences, and stories need a variety of people because you won’t find many books without a selection of good and bad characters, even in fluffy kids books.

Now, how it’s written, how a realistic negative event is written, if it’s informed or written insensitivity or perhaps a warning and things alike, criticise that instead.

But to suddenly cancel a writer and complain about them and reducing their entire capacity as a writer all for their characters having difficult experiences in a book, or evil characters being present… I mean come on, do you really expect they entirety of literature now needs to only have Heroes. How bland.

And I’m not saying books like that aren’t bad, I love a good warm and lovely book, but I mean if that’s the only genre and writing style there ever was whilst trying to reach this false idea of perfection or purity as a writer apparently needs to be producing or god forbid?

Gimme a breakkk, I know you read several Steven King novels in your teens. Wouldn’t call that slasher movie non-problematic either but you still go watch them on horror night and don’t criticise the creator as “evidently politically siding with Jason Voorhees”, because it’s a fookin horror movie innit.

Don’t consume genres you don’t like that have clear warnings with material in it that you don’t enjoy. It doesn’t make a writer evil for writing about not so fluffy things, what’s important is how it’s done, that it’s not for an undertone of the writers true beliefs, and that they’re been careful to write it well. Be critical, call out discriminatory writing that is coming from the writer, call out if the writing is making minorities suffer from its production, but keep in mind a writer isn’t also a bigot because there’s characters within their work that are. Just like they’re probably also not the banking entrepreneur that swipes a random fashion column writer off their feet on a summers day in New York in their second book.

I mean maybe they are and I guess kudos for having that much time on their hands to be a banker, successful writer and hamming it with a great romantic life as well whilst catching a day with nice weather.

#writing #ventauz #writing related #writing community #reading #problematic fiction #is this problematic #problematic books #books #book reading #jk rowling #jk rowling mention #homophobia #homophobia mention

[joshslater]

Grimsby pt. 7

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I was speechless and touched. I was too exhausted to figure out what this meant though. Did he expect something from me now? Before I could gather myself Jace picked up his bag and started walking towards the exit.

- We should of a pint.

I wasn’t audibly breathing heavily any longer, but I could feel I was still pretty wound up. Flush, sweaty, and definitely thirsty after this shock introduction to the gentlemen’s art of self-defense. I felt a pint was too far away and I needed to drink right now, so I stood up and started to walk towards the drinking faucet. “You’ll regret it,” Jace remarked, barely looking my way. He was half right. The water tasted of metal pipes, but it felt good to splash my face with cold water and cool it down. There were empty holders of a mirror pane mounted on the well. At some point the mirror must have cracked and never been replaced. I wondered how I looked after such a beating. I cupped my hands and brought water up to dump in my hair, and was quickly reminded of how little of it I had left. I could feel trickles down my shaved sides and neck. The sound of the door closing made me realize Jace wasn’t waiting, so I rushed out of the locker room, out through the main doors, and caught up with him slowly walking back the way we came.

It didn’t take long until he deviated from the path we followed to the club. I had no idea where we were, or really where he was taking me, but it was obviously a route as well optimized as the path we took going here. Mostly road, but a few shortcuts through people’s back yards. It looked kind of familiar, but I’ve only walked around these blocks very tired, hangover, drunk and/or high. Now I could add beaten up and exhausted to that list. As we rounded a corner I saw a painted sign hanging out from the building, stating “Fawn’s Head”. I'd seen that pub at some point earlier in the week, but never been near it.

For some reason it looked deserted on the empty street, not that you could really tell about a pub with its door closed. Looks were deceiving, sure enough, because there were quite a few people scattered around inside the pub. It was decidedly not a high-brow clientele. Everywhere I looked I saw track tops, worker's high-viz clothes, and quite a few paint-spattered sweatshirts. I recognized some people from yesterday evening, though not by name. A few people glanced our way, garnering no interest.

I followed Jace over to the barman and witnessed a play in gestures. The barman gave Jace a nod. Jace gave him a nod. Then he nodded sideways towards me. Then the barman poured two lager, and placed them in front of us. Jace was clearly a regular, though I wasn’t even sure he was 18 yet. Without a word we grabbed our beers and started to empty the glass. It was the best-tasting beer I’ve had all week. Not because of the beer, but because this was the end of a hard day at the end of a hard week. Whatever part of my body didn’t hurt after hauling ice and fish, Jace had made tender, either directly by knocking me out, or with the bag punching exercises. But this was the end of...

- HEY!

Jace had turned towards the room and shouted at the top of his lungs. It instantly became dead silent.

- Is Chayse innit!

Everyone shifted their eyes onto me. What the hell was Jace doing?

- Fuck with him, fuck with me!

There was a second of tense silence in the room. I didn’t dare breathe.

- On me. Cheers!

The room erupted in loud cheers, followed by an explosion of chatter. Some guy in blue carpenter trousers and a blue sweatshirt, both splattered with hundreds of tiny white dots of paint, jumped up from his seat and grabbed the first of the new beers. As he was turning to get back to his table, he stopped as if he realized he should pay for the beer somehow, and slapped my sore shoulder.

- Connor’s the name. Why don’t you lad join our table for a wee bit?

Before I could even agree to that, he started shoving me in the direction towards the table. I pulled an extra chair and sat down with his crew of builders. Conner, Kieran, Tommy, and Callum. To my surprise their work stories about bad shoes, early mornings, lunch places, all felt relevant to me, and I had a few insights that fit into the conversation. Once I’ve emptied my beer I excused myself for a smoke, but Callum got up and told me to follow him. We walked out on the back and there was a large smokers patio with two groups in either end talking. Callum brought me to one of the groups and the others there greeted me and introduced themselves.

It turned out that none of them actually knew Jace, but they had seen him around. They themselves didn’t know each other that well either. They usually sat with their pals and then just came together outside for a smoke. As they started to move back inside, a tall, hard-looking guy from the other group walked across the patio.

- Hey come here!

He was shaved bald, wore shiny, black Puma clothes with red zippers and details, and a pair of black Dr. Martens. He clearly worked out, but even if he hadn’t his height alone was intimidating. It didn’t sound like a request either. Callum got the hint and quickly stubbed out his fag.

- See you around. - Yeah.

While he returned inside the pub the shaved guy motioned with his shiny head towards the other two who silently smoked at the other end. They looked every bit as tough as this guy. A bit older but just as muscled, one with buzzed heads and tracksuits, the other with a mohawk, adidas top, and dark blue adidas joggers. As I started to walk towards them, the shaved guy walked behind me, like he was herding me. Dammit, I’m also shaved, although not completely. I must stop thinking of myself as looking so different than them. Anyone who stumbled out into the patio would assume we four were a group. As I stopped he pushed me in the back to force me uncomfortably close to the other two. The older of the two, standing just in my face, made a deep drag, and blew a cloud of smoke in my face. I’m sure it was intended as disrespectful and intimidating, but it took all my self-discipline to not inhale it, even though I had just finished a smoke myself. He gave me a nod and spoke.

- Jace new runner innit. - I don’t know wh... - Shut the fuck.

I could feel the color draining from my face. Apparently there was a reason why they all left me alone outside with these guys. He continued.

- I don’t give a fuck what you do, but stay out of our business. If you see any of us you do as you’re told. Got it? - Yes. - Good. Now lick my balls. - What? - You heard me mate.

A wave of fatigue washed over me. I had been shaved and punched and drugged and so much more. Everything was unreal. This was not me, this was not my life. It’s just that with a pint in my hand and nice people around I slipped and forgot. Like an emotionally drained whore on her tenth fuck for the day I silently went down on my knees in front of his crotch. He patted my head on the exposed skin.

- This is what we like, lads, innit.

And then he tilted my head back up and looked me in the eyes.

- Remember your place next time we tell you to do something.

Then he let go and looked up at the others.

- Let's go for another, lads.

He dropped his smoldering fag on the ground in front of me as they left, and I hated that my first instinct was to pick it up and put it in my mouth. Who were they? What did they mean by Jace's runner? They had already left the patio by the time I got up and looked around. A group of patrons just walked into the patio and nodded in my direction. I nodded back and headed back into the pub, past them. I needed to find Jace and ask him what the guys meant. It wasn't hard to find him inside the pub, despite it filling up in the moments he had been out. He was standing next to a table close to the entrance, towering over the guy standing next to him. He probably towered over most people. The guy next to him was passionately talking to him. Jace saw me, and reached out like for a handshake.

- Oi Chayse, be a minute.

I grabbed his hand and felt something small in my hand. Jace winked at me.

- First one's free bruv.

He handed me a half-emptied pint glass and turned back to the guy. I stepped away and looked into my hand. A small, white pill. I felt both neglected and thankful at the same time. Of course he should finish whatever this is, but I felt we needed to talk right now. I took a large swig out of the glass and realized as I swallowed that I had already put the pill in my mouth. I was just running on autopilot after everything that had happened during this week.

Something was moving in my peripheral, and I turned to see a few guys at a table waving at me. I went to join them to kill time. I felt like I was losing grip of reality again, because the man who waved me to the table came back from the bar with a fresh lager and sat it down in front of me, while one of the other guys at the table was talking about their day of road maintenance. I was jolted back into the present, looking up at the man, Rob was it? He was smiling at me kindly. I thanked him and took a sip of the beer, and a shiver of pleasure went through me. It was even better tasting than the one I had earlier. The guy who was talking was detailing all the problems with one of the stores next to the road where they had laid stones during the day. He was about my age, but more tanned and crow's feet by the eyes after having been outdoor so much. No, this was Rob. His pitch-black hair was gelled up, and his face was framed on the other side by a black T-shirt with a big, yellow "Powell Construction" logo. I realized I had stopped listening to him and was lost in his grey-blue eyes, when he asked me something.

- Sorry mate, I have to piss.

At the moment I said it I realized it was actually true, and somewhat wobbly got up and headed towards the gents. They nodded and smiled. Jace wasn't standing where I had last seen him, I noted on the way to the gents, nor did I see him anywhere else. I wasn't sure I could trust my senses fully. What had he given me? Molly? It must have been part of it, as everything and everyone was lovely. I double-checked the sign on the door and entered the gents. Two sinks, two urinals, and a door to a proper toilet. As I walked by the mirrors over the sinks I turned my head, almost like a reflex, but stopped in my tracks.

I looked horrible. It wasn't the brutal hair, or the eyebrows, or the piercings, or the clothes. I looked like a criminal mug shot. My face was subtly swollen and bruised from the pummeling I've gotten from Jace an hour or two ago. There wasn't any specific thing I could point out. Just that I looked off. I didn't look like me anymore. Fascinated, almost mesmerized by my own ugliness I touched and poked my face. Nothing hurt. Not specifically anyway. I'm sure it would look better tomorrow, but it was unnerving still.

As I reached the urinal I realized I had a stiffy. I hoped the black adidas joggers had hidden it from Rob and whatever his name was, but I couldn't be sure. Well, this wasn't the place to do anything about it, so I simply aimed forward and let go, pissing straight into the wall of the urinal. Despite me swaying more than I would have liked or expected, the only thing I got on me was a fine mist of back splatter. I was clearly more intoxicated or high or whatever than I thought, so I don't know how long I stood with my dick out and forehead against the wall, just waiting for the dripping to stop. I was kind of hoping to also get soft, but had to settle for a semi.

I was pulling my joggers up when someone entered. I didn't take any notice of him until someone shouted "Hey" in my ear, and pushed me into the room with the toilet. He shoved me down on the lid facing him, and locked the door. It was one of the goons from the outside patio, the one with the mohawk, adidas top and joggers. He had a week-old beard and looked a bit tired as well. I knew I should be intimidated by him, but somehow I just felt like I wanted to hug him. I had this unexplainable urge to touch him. He glanced at the ceiling, looking for a smoke detector, then picked a cigarette and a lighter from a pocket. While looking down on me he slowly put the cigarette to his mouth and lit it, inhaled deeply, and exhaled the smoke on me. To his confusion this time I inhaled deeply as well. Not only did I want to embrace him. I wanted to french kiss him and suck the smoke out of his lungs. What the fuck was wrong with me?

He regained his composure. He was also clearly a bit drunker than before.

- I want to be fucking clear with you. When we tell you what to do, you do it. - Sound, mate.

This wasn't going how either of us had expected. My eyes kept darting between his face and the chain he had around his neck. Somehow it looked so pretty, glittering in the fluorescent tube light. Everything looked pretty. He struggled with what to do next.

- Lick it. Lick the groin.

I looked down. The loose, dark blue adidas joggers didn't reveal much, but a little bump indicated where his dick was. For some reason, I don't know why, I did as he said, leaned forward, and let my tongue run up and down the fabric. It didn't taste like much. I moved forward and licked with a bit more pressure. I could hear him inhale from the cigarette again.

- Ok, alright. I need to piss.

He grabbed me and stood me up with one arm, and unlocked the door with the other.

- Share the fag? - What?

It took him a second to realize I asked for his cigarette. His intimidation ploy had not gone the way he wanted, though I was at the same time both zen and wondering what the fuck was going on. He handed me the cigarette. I stepped out and he closed the door behind me. I finished the cigarette and threw it in the urinal.

[silverbastardgoldenfool]

Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Assassin’s Quest

Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?

Keep in mind I’m writing this months after finishing the book lol (it’s mental illness innit). I have LOTS of notes to go off but yeah, things aren’t as fresh in my mind overall. With that said the biggest difference I can think of between my first and second experience with AQ is my feelings towards Kettricken. I think the first time around reading you know that Fitz is an unreliable narrator but you are still limited by his viewpoint so you can get a bit trapped seeing things the way he does. For this reason, I think I pretty much just forgave Kettricken when he did on my first read, whereas on this read I was like……. Waiting for her to actually apologise and show some sympathy towards Fitz and it just…. Never happened.

Like, don’t get me wrong, I still love Kettricken as a character and I fully recognise that she has been traumatised. I don’t expect her to be nice or act rationally, and in the case of being willing to take Nettle for the crown… It’s cold but she’s doing what she feels she has to. My issue is - do what you have to, but don’t expect Fitz to understand or forgive you (same with Starling). But I think what bothered me the most was how Kettricken would constantly confide in Fitz and break down to him and he was always there to let her do so, yet she NEVER gives Fitz the chance to do the same. The one time he does “open up” in a sense is when she forces him to air out his traumas in front of everyone, and she didn’t show him any sympathy for what he’d been through then or later. She has been through hell, absolutely, but while her plight may not have been any better than Fitz’s it certainly wasn’t any worse. She pretty much had two modes in this book: completely cold or a crying wreck - but she was only ever crying for herself. She lets Fitz console her but she never consoles him. Again, this is a result of her own trauma and I don’t expect her to act any differently, but it just reaffirmed for me that while she and Fitz care for each other deeply it is not an equal relationship. Fitz feels an obligation to serve her and she - knowingly or not - takes advantage of that. Like, after realising that this is their dynamic it is so obvious that the same is true in Royal Assassin as well, and it will be interesting to see how it changes (or doesn’t) in Tawny Man as I don’t remember it well enough to say.

Must reiterate: Kettricken is still a great character and I still have a lot of respect for her, unfortunately she just falls into the overfull camp of people who love Fitz but have an unhealthy power dynamic with him.

The other big difference I noticed was that the Verity stuff just wasn’t as devastating this time. Not because it was any less sad but it just didn’t tear out my heart like it did the first time. That’s not a fault with the writing at all, I think it’s just the fact that, knowing what would happen to Verity and that we wouldn’t see the real Verity again, I kind of already let go of him at the end of Royal Assassin.

Something you can’t believe you forgot

I guess more of a misinterpretation/wishful thinking but like, realising that there is no passage explicitly stating that Fitz and the Fool were actually spooning in the mountains murdered me and spat on my corpse.

Oh also!!! Fitz yeeting himself out the window at Tradeford castle jskaskjf

Favourite character introduction moments/scenes

I love Kettle in general and the way we’re introduced to her as a cranky old lady sets her up perfectly

Favourite character arcs

Man they’re all so fucking sad lol but I guess the Fool? He goes from thinking Fitz is dead and his purpose failed to reuniting with Fitz, their relationship growing into something really real for the first time, and actually completing his mission - at least for now lol. This book is really the first time you get to see the Fool be properly vulnerable. Even when he was getting beaten up by Regal’s guards he always had his veneer of snark and superiority to hide behind - and I doubt when he went through his sicknesses at Buckkeep he would have revealed his weakness to anyone in order to be helped. But in the mountains he lets so much of that facade of the King’s Fool fall away - at least when it’s just him and Fitz. When he and Fitz meet again he lets Fitz see his grief and pain and hopelessness and joy as the Fool looks after Fitz, and then later when it’s the Fool who needs looking after he lets Fitz look after him. When was the last time the Fool had anyone really care for him like that, ya know? Had someone protect him purely out of love? Ouch dude!!!!

Also he gets to kiss Fitz at the end so good for him!!!!!!!!!! Be gay ride dragons!!

Favourite quote/s

“I would kill Regal. It only seemed fair. He had killed me first.”

“I had looked into the heart of my enemy. I still could not comprehend him.”

“The more I drank, the less tolerable my situation seemed. And the more intolerable I became to my friends.”

“I had never thought to be disdained by a tree.”

“The Fool, the Fool, only the Fool. I sought for him. I almost found him. Oh, he was passing strange, and surpassing strange. He darted and eluded me, like a bright gold carp in a weedy pool, like the motes that dance before one’s eyes after being dazzled by the sun. As well to clutch at the moon’s reflection in a still midnight pond as to seek a grip on that bright mind. I knew his beauty and his power in the briefest flashes of insight. In a moment I understood and marvelled at all that he was, and in the next I had forgotten that understanding.”

“When you can either laugh or cry, you might as well laugh.” - the Fool

Favourite relationships

Fitzandthefoolfitzandthefoolfitzandthefoolbahslbghabfhalgngjba 

Also fitz and nighteyes (speaking of which, Nighteyes’ arc in this book is also fascinating and surprisingly complex) and Fitz/Nighteyes/Fool mwah magnifico chef’s kiss

Favourite setting

Kelsingra baybeyyy. I remember the first time reading this having no fucking clue what was happening in that chapter but I guess it was the gay agenda all along

Favourite chapter

It’s gotta be the chapter where Fitz and the Fool reunite, right? Catch me just gradually losing my grip on reality with every lingering stare 

Most loved character

Foooooooooool

Most hated character

Ya know, for a minute I was actually wondering if I would like Starling this time round but yeah no lol. She was actually okay for a while but as soon as she sold Fitz/Nettle out she became The Worst, just as I remembered her. It’s not even because she betrays Fitz but because, like Kettricken, she expects Fitz to forgive her for it, to the point of running to tattle to the queen because Fitz isn’t giving her enough attention (I’m also not impressed with Kettricken for actually getting involved instead of just telling her to grow up). Not to mention her constantly misgendering/gendering (??) the Fool or just assuming the Fool’s gender and loudly fucking proclaiming it to everybody is just truly fucking disgusting. Like I cannot even explain how furious I was reading her incessantly using she/her pronouns for the Fool despite no confirmation that her theory is right or that the Fool is comfortable with this and despite EVERYONE ELSE using he/him pronouns. God I’m mad now lol. She just acts like a spoilt brat and it makes my blood boil. But that’s probably because I have known many people like this so… Good character writing lol congrats

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)

The whole first chapter/s are just so heavy and carry on that gut wrenching feeling from the end of Royal Assassin. Fitz just has no real desire to live and watching him systematically severing the last few ties he has to his human life is just so sad.

Even though I wasn’t as attached to Verity this time, his goodbye to Fitz still made me cry

As did Fitz giving Kettle her skill back

Verity using Fitz’s body to have sex with Kettricken really got to me this time, mostly because I either didn’t notice the first time or had forgotten just how much it affects Fitz. It’s no wonder he doesn’t want to acknowledge Dutiful as his son when the event that brought that fact into being was so fucked up and traumatic. It’s really upsetting.

Burrich saying he almost took Fitz to Chivalry and he should have never let the Farseers take Fitz just …… breaks my heart. Just seeing Burrich so raw like that in general is so unusual it really takes you aback.

Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture

Strap in lads this part is lonnnngggggggg

Is it bad to immediately want to cry just from seeing “Sandsedge” on the map and thinking of Sandsedge brandy

I never really thought about how poor Hap didn’t get the real Fitz all those years and how their relationship could have been if Fitz hadn’t been partially forged

Pls I have no idea why but to picture someone as emotionally repressed as Fitz actually sitting down and writing about his life makes me want to fucking cryyyyeeeee

Fitz in the prologue talks about needing a purpose as something to distract himself from sinking [into his chronic pain, mental illness and addiction] and boy howdy if that ain’t relatable. As someone with mental illness and chronic pain Fitz is just painfully relatable way too often.

“I have never forgiven myself the triumph I ceded him when I took poison and died.” Fitz :(((( my guy :((((((( forgive yourself for surviving however you could baby!!!!!

This book mentions Bingtown providing slaves to Chalced

It’s so funny to me when people expect Fitz to have social skills as if he didn’t literally live as a fucking wolf for weeks at a time. It’s a miracle he bloody speaks

The state Fitz is in at the beginning of this book was literally Burrich’s greatest fear for him, yet Burrich doesn’t just say I told you so and leave. He stays, is patient and even optimistic.

“He (Burrich) is not bigger than I.” Why does this feel so wrong lol??? I just can’t picture Fitz as bigger than Burrich

“When you were younger and not supposed to go into taverns without me…” So it’s fine if the child goes into taverns and gets drunk as long as you’re also there. Got it, Burrich.

Fitz calling Chade “the grey one” wow get rekd old man river

Seeing Chade and Burrich interact is so bizarre

Fitz is still having seizures at the beginning of this book! I had forgotten that

God okay so idk if I can articulate this point super well but the whole thing of Fitz going through this extensive abuse and then essentially becoming an animal feels like a metaphor for the way your brain’s “higher” needs and functions just shut off sometimes under certain levels of stress. Like in order to cope with the trauma you don’t think about concepts, or long-term goals, or other people. You just take care of your basic needs - food, sleep, shelter, water - long enough that you start to feel safe and secure again, at which point your brain can open up a bit more and allow you to really think again; to want again, to plan again etc. Like obviously literally becoming an animal is a heightened version of reality, but the functionality of it is the same; our wounds and our fear stop us from fully embodying ourselves.

Burrich be like, Fitz was getting way too dependent on drugs before all this so let’s steer clear of those. :) LET’S GET HIM ABSOLUTELY SHITFACED INSTEAD

I  love how Fitz has his own unique relationship with Lacey and she’s not just Patience’s servant in his mind

Fitz talking about how even his memories from before his time in the dungeons are soiled by his trauma :( baby boy

Dude it’s so rich Chade lecturing Fitz about not making a life for himself, having friends or just chilling out like???? WHO TRAINED HIM TO BE AN ASSASSIN CHADE?? Like I get your point but what the hell kind of life did you think he was gonna have? Who ever took the time to teach him the importance of making connections with people for their own sake, and when would he have ever had the time anyway? I think Chade himself doesn’t actually know what he expects from Fitz.

Fitz saying he’s bad at making decisions because he’s never actually been allowed to make any is literally a point I’ve made lol. This is what happens when you teach teenagers how to murder in lieu of any basic life skills.

Burrich + Chiv were luv at first sight. No I will not elaborate.

“We kept you a boy, looked after you too much.” Huh??????? Fitz was never fucking sheltered lol. He didn’t have autonomy. There’s a difference.

I’m so fucking glad Fitz hugged Burrich before he left and that they actually left off on okay-ish terms. I didn’t remember that and it vaguely dulls the blow of knowing we don’t see Burrich again til Fool’s Fate (and that he thinks Fitz is dead the entire time between now and then).

“If I shaved my hair back from my brow” bitch disgusting

“Honey was the older of the two women. Perhaps my age.” jskfjnajgbl my guy those aren’t women then those are children!!!!!! U freak

I was wondering for ages why Fitz doesn’t mention the Fool like literally at all bc that’s so unusual right? Even in Assassin’s Apprentice he thinks of him when he goes to Moonseye and just in general the Fool usually enters Fitz’s thoughts pretty frequently. So why now, when Fitz doesn’t even know if the Fool is okay, is he just not thinking about him? And then I realised that that is exactly why. Because the only two people from his old life he doesn’t think about are the two people whose fates he knows nothing of: Kettricken and the Fool. So he can let his mind wander to think what Patience and Lacey might be up to at Buckkeep, or who Molly is with or whatever, because he knows they are all safe. But in such a fragile state I don’t think he can bring himself to really wonder whether Kettricken and the Fool made it to their destination - he probably doesn’t really believe they could have, and that is far too painful a road to go down when you are trying not to think at all.

I know the first act of this book is slow and that bothers some people, but I think it is so necessary, not only for Fitz’s arc but also because it really demonstrates just how severe the situation has gotten with the red ships and forged ones AND it shows just how destructive a king Regal is. Without this perspective it would probably be much harder to buy that the extreme measures taken at the end of the book are really worth the sacrifice.

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit A: when Honey is coming onto him, all he can think about is Molly.

Fitz is so scared of the Forged ones :( his trauma affects everything. He has no faith in himself and less heart for the violence than ever.

Speaking of trauma metaphors: the way Fitz tends to drift off into the wit or Skill after a traumatic experience is… pretty much just dissociation but magique

I forgot that witted folk can apparently communicate with each other mentally, not just with animals

“Her head was the size of a bushel basket.” Ah, yes, a bushel basket, a thing whose size we are all intimately familiar with.

Fitz finally finds others like him and even then he is not fully accepted. Told he is doing the wit wrong. Othered by the Others. It’s the queer experience innit.

Also forgot that apparently the forged are attracted to the wit as well as the Skill?

“I wondered if I had as many wolf mannerisms as they had halk and bear.” Yeah no probably not you only bloody LIVED as a wolf, Fitz.

Okay I know it doesn’t need saying but Patience is just so fucking cool!!!!!

Jesus fucking christ, Fitz skilling out to Molly when he knows Will knows he’s alive and is looking for him is just… so dumb. So so dumb. I know he’s just fixating on her because he’s miserable and she’s like this unsullied thing he had before everything went wrong but holy moly is it frustrating 

Not to mention he doesn’t connect the dots between the fact that Burrich went to “help a friend” and every time he reaches out for Molly he sees Burrich sajkdbshkhja dude

Nighteyes leaving just goes to show that Fitz cannot rely solely on Nighteyes for companionship. No matter how innately the same they are they are equally as innately different. Fitz needs Nighteyes but he shouldn’t have JUST Nighteyes (which is why he, Nighteyes and the Fool are the holy trinity). When Nighteyes leaves, Fitz is in way too fragile a state to be left alone, but Nighteyes cannot think of the future or what might happen. All he knows is he’ll be back at some point and that’s all that matters.

“My anger fed my competence” whatever you need to tell yourself sweetie

I think I had blocked out the fact the Regal was keeping animals trapped in filthy cages so they could ravage people in the king’s circle uggggghhhhhhhhh I hate him

Fitz is down on himself saying that without Shrewd’s largesse, Chade’s information and Verity’s protection his idea of himself has been stripped away and that he’s not actually competent etc. but like. This is an extreme situation!! You’re literally alone in the wilderness with nothing and no one!! Who would thrive in this situation? And nobody gets by without help anyway! The people in our lives do define us to an extent. You don’t have to be able to stand 100% on your own at all times with zero resources to be considered capable. It’s human to depend on others. Yes I am chiding myself as much as Fitz here :))))

Burrich’s earring is the repressed gay earring. No I will not elaborate.

Fitz refusing to sell Burrich’s earring is frustrating yet something I would 100% do lol

Direct from my notes: Celery hiding out in caves?? Bad bitch

“I felt I was within the flames looking deeply into the Fool’s eyes” um okay gay

It’s actually surprising that Fitz admits he would not have gone after Molly even if he had known she was pregnant when she left. On one hand so self aware yet this doesn’t stop him from completely idealising their relationship.

And then you have Molly who says he was supposed to come after her “so she could forgive him”, that he was supposed to be the one to light the candles for her childbirth etc. The fact that she in any way thought he was mature enough to be a father just shows how little they really knew each other.

Burrich treating Molly like a horse while delivering Nettle is way funnier than it has a right to be jskakjasd makes me think of Dwight treating Phyllis’ back injury in The Office lol

The first thing Burrich notices about Nettle is that she has Chivalry’s brow are you fucking kidding me. Gay!

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit B: He had no interest in Tassin whatsoever until she literally started kissing him. At this point his body reacted, which is normal, but as soon as he got a second to actually think about it he stopped, because for him it would not be satisfying to sleep with someone he didn’t have feelings for.

“It seemed to take years for the dried beans and lentils to soften.” Okay mood

I love how Fitz just assumes Molly will take him back. “I have a woman and child awaiting me.” Says who bitch?

Small ferret? More like big legend

Ya know, we give Fitz so much shit but honestly with so much physical, mental and emotional stress on this journey how can we expect his mental faculties to be at 100%? I wouldn’t be making good decisions either, in fact I would be long dead.

Starling telling Nik that the earring once belonged to Chivalry is truly a smooth brain move

“Do not fear, little brother, I am here to take care of you again.” Words can’t explain how much I love Nighteyes and how often his dialogue makes me smile :’)

It’s so cute how Nighteyes is worried about Molly and Nettle until he knows that Burrich is taking care of them

It’s really interesting when Fitz claims “I’d rather be with Molly even if it meant rocking a crying baby in the middle of the night” because, well, he’s literally made other claims to the contrary, saying he wouldn’t have gone with her even if he’d known she was pregnant. Because at the end of the day as much as Fitz is compelled by others to do work for the greater good, I think deep down a lot of the time it is what he would do anyway. Like I really don’t think he could actually enjoy being with Molly knowing that the world is burning down around them. He would want to get out there and help somehow; not only to secure their own future but to reduce other people’s suffering as well. He’s an empathetic boy even though he’d like to be selfish.

Every time Fitz calls Molly his wife I lose ten years off my life

Again, I understand why he’s thinking like this, but Fitz’s ownership of Molly is just so uncomfortable. The fact that he can’t imagine her not having a place ready and waiting for him in her life when he returns just illustrates that she is not a fully realised person to him. She is just a comforting idea.

Oh yes, it was definitely Starling’s “pillowtalk” that got you captured and not the fact that you fit the exact description of the witted bastard right down to having Chivalry’s earring and a whole ass wolf

Somehow forgot that Jhaampe is basically a city of tents with only a few permanent buildings and people constantly coming and going

Fitz’s first words to the Fool are “I’ve come to you.” I’m gonna fucking die

Literally every single word from the moment Fitz realises it’s the Fool and starts describing him is a full body assault and personal attack I am seeking reparations

God the tenderness, the angst, the relief……… shall i pass away

“I doubted he was much taller, but his body was no longer a child’s.” My dude this is a gay awakening if I ever saw one

Fitz be like *spends 87 pages describing the Fool in painstaking detail* anyway I love being a heterosexual male

I’ve heard ppl cite Fitz’s descriptions of Kettricken as evidence of a crush (hard disagree) but literally nothingggggg even comes close to the way he describes the Fool. Not just this once but over and over again it’s insane.

“Talk fell off between us. The bottle of brandy was empty. We were reduced to silence, staring at one another drunkenly.” skjakfnajghajgnaLNGJ is it gay to silently gaze into thine homie’s eyes

The Fool protecting Fitz from everyone - especially Starling - in Jhaampe is often hilarious and always heartwarming

Realising Fitz was skinny enough for the Fool to lift on his own ahhh no wonder he said the famous “When I recall how beautiful you were” line, Fitz is a total wreck

I love that the Fool actually gives Chade shit for his plan to take Nettle. I love him.

“Too few folk cared for me. I could not hate a single one of them.” Oh, Fitz :(

I always wonder how the Fool really feels about Molly. Is he jealous? Does he compare himself to this woman Fitz idolises and he doesn’t know? Does he know that Fitz is barking up the wrong tree or is he stuck thinking Molly must really be Fitz’s soulmate since he won’t shut up about how much he loves her and can’t wait to get back to her? He just never really lets on how it makes him feel when Fitz has relationships with women. We know Fitz gets jealous of the Fool (for litch rally like no reason lol), so with the Fool being much more honest with himself/in general about his love for Fitz and having much more legitimate reason to be jealous, is he? Or is it just something he’s made his peace with, that these women give Fitz something that he cannot? Is he okay with that cos he has to be or does he have a different, less monogamous view of love and relationships (he does have three parents after all). I dunnoooo dude I just have so many questions. Like obviously - OBVIOUSLY - if Fitz and the Fool didn’t have romantic feelings for each other before, there is no doubting that romantic feelings appeared the moment Fitz appeared in the Fool’s hut. Fitz won’t admit that but mere chapters later the Fool is talking about how he loves Fitz in every way so like. He knows. So how does he feel when Fitz is calling out for Molly in his sleep, or openly speaking of seeking her out when all this is over, and lying to the Fool to protect Molly and his daughter. Really makes u think!!!!

Fitz reuniting with Sooty and going to see her every day in Jhaampe is so cuuuute and made me so happy. Sooty is a good girl :’)

Fitz be like *leans against the table where the Fool is carving and watches his fingers at work like a true repressed gay*

Verity is literally so strong???? He submerged himself in skill and was able to pull himself back from the stream can u imagine? Go off king!

Bro I literally can’t with the Fool mentioning Jofron so casually and Fitz immediately thinking wow oh my god they’re definitely fucking oh my god the Fool has a girlfriend - Fitz sweetie calm down

I love how Fitz and the Fool just naturally walk together :))) and Nighteyes babysitting Kettle is so cute

Molly never once says that she misses Fitz. She says she always expected him to do the right thing, to come after her and not leave her alone with a child. But she doesn’t look back on their time together fondly or have much positive to say about him as a person. And all that is fair, but it’s also just… Not really the behaviour of someone who’s been separated from their soulmate. It’s more just someone who’s been left in a shitty position by someone they cared about but hardly knew.

Fitz asking the Fool what is between him and Starling when they’re literally just being civil is sooooo fucking funny. Not everyone finds the Fool as irresistible as you do, Fitz.

The Fool just casually finding a pretext to call Fitz the light of his life

Fitz telling Kettricken firmly that he will not travel if the Fool is ill is one of the only times he ever puts his foot down with her GEE I WONDER WHY

I’ve said it before I’ll say it again…… there really do be something about the way Fitz can’t meet the Fool’s eyes………. It’s not like they’re weird and colourless anymore like they used to be!!!

The Fool already talking about Clerres in this book!

Fitz and the Fool and Nighteyes playing in the stream is too fucking pure omg, it’s what they deserve

And then Starling has to bloody ruin it bc she’s homophobique

But seriously, Fitz actually lets go for the first time in ages and has a nice evening only for Starling to go tattling to Kettricken, and Kettricken having the gall to confront Fitz about it. And then Fitz solves the problem by saying he doesn’t disdain her when like!! He has every right to!!!! She sold him out, sold his daughter out. She never even apologised but instead has just been totally petty and self-righteous and stirring up trouble amongst the group. She hasn’t earned or even asked for his forgiveness. So fitting that she’s the one constantly judging Fitz for his relationship with Lord Golden in Tawny Man lol, she just cannot let Fitz and the Fool be the queer icons they are!!!

Verrrrrrrrrrry interesting that Fitz only “suddenly missed the human warmth and comfort” of Starling taking his arm or sleeping against him literally IMMEDIATELY after the plumbing and love confrontation with the Fool. I mean he has been doing all of those things with the Fool (sleeping together, walking arm in arm etc.) so it’s not about human touch at all, it’s about convincing himself that a WOMAN’S touch is somehow inherently different.

He does the same thing with Starling as with Kettricken. She technically apologises but it’s not sincere and that’s not why he forgives her. Same as Kettricken, she tells her sob story and he can’t hold onto his anger. It makes sense, but it’s just very toxic. It would be nice if at least one person would really recognise how much they’ve hurt Fitz and really, genuinely want to atone for it, or apologise without expecting forgiveness. The onus should not be on Fitz to forgive Starling but on Starling to grow up and not need Fitz to like her in order to remain civil and do what they have to. Also “I do not find your wit bond offensive” has the same energy as someone telling you out of nowhere like “It’s fine that you’re gay :)” like wow thank u?? lol

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit C: “I wanted her with a desperation that had nothing to do with love, and even, I believe, little to do with lust.”

“By his love he is betrayed, and his love betrayed also.” So fate agrees with me, Fitz and the Fool are in love? :)

Anytime the potential that Fitz might have to choose between Molly and Nighteyes I lose brain cells. That’s ur brother Fitz!!! It’s not even a choice!! How dare u

It’s just sooooo intentionally laid out for us in this book that Fitz’s relationship with Molly really wasn’t good or healthy and that his fixation on it is misguided, and I think that’s why I struggled sooooo hard with the ending of Fool’s Fate, because it kind of implied the exact opposite. I’m hoping on this reread I will pick up on it being laid out as a result of Fitz getting his memories/teen feelings back rather than it just feeling like a lowkey retcon, but I guess we’ll see lol

“I felt I was a bit in love with him, you know. That sort of lift to the heart.” the confirmation that the Fool KNOWS HOW IT FEELS TO BE IN LOVE sends me deep into the swamps goodbyeeeeeeeeeeee

“The one who loves him best will betray him most foully.” So fate agrees, the Fool loves Fitz best :)

“You do love me! … Before, it was words. I always feared it was born out of pity.” Godddddd Foooooooooool!!!!!!!!!!! 

Everything about Fitz, the Fool and Nighteyes meeting in the skill for the first time is just truly perfect iconic unparalleled.

Fitz’s love for Verity hurts my heart so much. Just think of the relationship they could have had if they weren’t stupid royals.

Kettle’s whole speech about Fitz and Molly… Just yes to every word.

Look I’m just gonna say it… The way Burrich reacts to Molly’s advances … like I know it’s probably not intentional but it just reads as very much fitting in with my headcanon that he is gay. As soon as she makes it clear she wants to sleep with him he like leaps across the room lol. I do believe he cares for her and loves her in his way, but it does feel mostly like he’ll just do whatever he needs to to care for her and the baby.  Sowwy

I wonder why the Fool wasn’t as affected by his giving up of memories to Girl-on-a-Dragon?? Or was he, and he just gets them back before we see him again in Tawny Man?

“Take my hurt that I never knew my father, take my hours of staring up at his portrait when the great hall was empty and I could do so alone.” um this is so fucking sad

It was the Fool who sent Starling to find Fitz after Verity uses his body and again I have to ask, wtf is going on in your mind, Fool!

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit D: Even once he actually sleeps with Starling he has no enthusiasm about it, he just kind of goes along with it, likely to prove to himself that he has really let go of his past/Molly. 

I always wonder why the Fool leaves now. Is it because he thinks their work is done and doesn’t want to risk messing things up by hanging around his catalyst like at the end of Tawny Man? Does he intend to come back and find Fitz again but get sidetracked by a lead or a new dream? Like it’s just weird because at first he was like “Prophet and Catalyst stick together” and was gonna stay with Fitz - or was that just an excuse because he was obsessed with Girl-on-a-Dragon? Fool u spicy lil enigma

It’s blood and the wit that wakes the stone dragons so does that mean King Wisdom was witted? Or is that obvious lol

Fitz isn’t even bothered by the Fool’s kiss, just shocked. I am looking.

Patience shouting orders at Verity-as-Dragon is beautiful ksjjk

Of courrrrrssse Burrich names his first son Chivalry

In the epilogue, the Fool is the only one Fitz actually says he misses. Exquisite.

I know some people have an issue with Regal’s death but personally I find it delicious

Okay that’s all (I say as if this wasn’t 139841989 pages long). See y’all in 92 years when my sister finally starts reading Liveship!

#realm of the elderlings #realm of the quarantine #assassin's quest #long post #fitz and the fool #Fitzchivalry Farseer #rote #ehhh idk what else to tag lol #if u read all this congrats and i'm sorry

[tothedarkdarkseas]

What do you think is the REAL difference between Stu and Murdoc? Is it upbringing, age, personality, or cocktail of things?

I’ve gotta tell you, of all the kind asks you sent (and what a nice thing that was of you to do, thank you, they were fun to ponder!) this is the one I’m like… jittery to answer because there’s just so much to be said. Put under a cut because it ended up kinda stupid-long.

I mean, what has to be determined first is– are Murdoc and Stu that different? I tend to think they’re not, not as much as they are alike. That’s actually what I like best about them and something I usually play to when I can, how much they both resemble a certain stereotype but with their own twist. Many of their differences are a little superficial, like Stu being a bit more geezery with his football and all, and Murdoc being less uptight with his hobbies (be it involving cheeky GTA or a gimp mask.) I joked the other day that the biggest difference between the two is just that Murdoc does uppers and Stu does downers, and that’s pretty much it. I do think on a “deeper” level, like a more innate behavioral level, they’re a lot more similar than they actually realize.

But with all that being said, of course they’re not identical, and there’s a lot that contributes to where exactly they differ. I think that everything you said is absolutely relevant to that!

Let’s start with age and upbringing. The age difference between Murdoc and Stu is actually fairly stark when you just look at the years, but it never feels quite that bad to me because Murdoc and Stu are both so emotionally stunted and immature. There’s a line in Bojack Horseman than I think is incredibly on-point here, about how “the age you are when you get famous is the age you stop growing.” I think for Stu, it absolutely damned him to become famous at around 20, it locked him mentally into an age where he should’ve been learning everything wouldn’t be given to him, and instead it was just… given to him. In excess. If you follow that reasoning Murdoc’s sort of odd though, in that he never actually achieved fame on any major scale until he was in his 30′s. It seems more like Murdoc’s exaggerated sense of self-importance (probably a response to knowing, very much knowing, that he was not in fact something towering and impressive at all, and there’s like… something absurdist in really choosing to think he is. That’s almost the ultimate form of his Humor As A Shield– what could be a bigger joke than not hating himself?! Ha! It’s funny because it’s sad!) set in way before he actually became famous. It’s more like his maturity is stalled at the time he started trying to be famous. Stu didn’t actually try to pursue music at all before, while Murdoc spent a decade absolutely convinced that it had to work and doggedly not accepting when it wasn’t. It feels like these two approaches enabled (or damaged) them in different ways, but both end up with the result of men who don’t act their age for many years and have hedonistic, stereotypically rockstarish ways of living far beyond that of their bandmates. Stu can barely claim he knows better though and is perhaps more… people are gonna yell at me for being so hard on him haha, but more spoiled and therefore more ignorant because he never actually lived a responsible adult life. (Does that mean Stu hasn’t had difficulty in that life? Absolutely not. The man has at least three counts of massive head trauma and was in a coma for an undetermined period of time, he has a permanent physical impairment that likely impacts his vision, I think he’s earned a few perks.) Murdoc on the other hand is very aware of what it was like to be a failure, to be conventionally unemployable, and to have so little to lose that he’d make incredibly stupid decisions that could’ve ended his free life. His indulgence now is frankly more extreme, but Murdoc has an even greater sense of believing he earned that and he owes nothing (whether that’s completely true or not.) 

And that’s just touching on the ends of their “upbringing,” not the actual 18+ years that went into it. It goes without saying that Stu and Murdoc had very different home lives– Rachel and David Pot are suggested to be rather precious with Stu out of some probable guilt for his first head trauma, in complete contrast to Sebastian’s humiliation and neglect– but on top of that, what seems to be glossed over at times is how they grew up in very different regions at very different time periods. I’m far from an authority on this or on anything (as always I really suggest asking @elapsed-spiral if you want better information, don’t let the hiatus thing fool you, Danni’ll still talk about British Shit Innit) but I’m told the British school system Murdoc would’ve endured in the 60s and 70s was unremittingly bleak and damaging to a child’s development. Despite his immaturity and my feelings that their age difference isn’t really so pronounced, Murdoc is older than Stu and unfortunately he experienced a much colder and rougher school environment, and it’s tough to argue that didn’t have an effect. (Though on the flipside, Stu was in school during Section 28, a thing I’m also not an authority on. Go figure a working class and very closeted bisexual man in the 80s might internalize some homophobia! The go-go 80s aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.) It’s not exactly surprising that Murdoc, who grew up on the lowest end of working class, in council housing, in an unglamorous Northern town like Stoke with a neo-fascist brother and a neglectfully-abusive alcoholic father, would come away an emotionally repressed and embittered person. It’s almost a bit bold that Murdoc is as “flamboyant” as he is (even if it comes with a hefty side of toxic masculinity)– he could’ve become hateful in a more stony way, but instead he’s like a giddy-cruel showman out of spite. You can argue that Murdoc’s lack of support system results in him feeling much more unfettered. He has no one to thank for getting him out of that and no one he credits for getting him where is. He very much has the mentality of “I take what I can and do what I want, because the world owes me everything.” And in a way, I can see where that’d come from.

He’s wrong though. Because Stu’s there. And Stu owes Murdoc nothing.

I know I’m really running on here, and I think you probably already have a picture of what I see Stu’s upbringing and childhood as. Rachel Pot is the unsung best character in Gorillaz, Stu was quite coddled by his parents, and Stu admits to being largely unmotivated and rudderless. It’s notable that Stu is in fact also working class but he’s presented like he’s not, I think just as a result of looking a lot better in comparison to Murdoc and us Americans not fully knowing the details of the British class system as compared to ours. (I don’t want to condescend to you anon, you may be British and know all this a lot better than I do. But because I am American, what would be more American than assuming everyone’s American?) I would say Stu’s family places on the higher end of that though (again, council housing for Murdoc, Stu had a garden with what must’ve been a decently big tree for him to fall out of) and isn’t portrayed as struggling in the same way. His job at Norm’s seems more like something he does because he’s not allowed to sit in the house all day, and he likes messing with the keyboards and he likes having spending money because he’s too old for allowance, and girls he’s fooled around with occasionally pop in to his work and bring him a pastry from the Tesco Express she works at and they make out in her car. Stu comes away from Crawley with quite a few “tethers” that disallow him from feeling as “loose” as Murdoc– he has a good relationship with his parents, a handful of mates, probably a handful of girls he wasn’t on bad terms with, at least one who’d end up becoming his girlfriend. So why does he have some of the same “cruel showman” qualities as Murdoc? Why does his entitlement end up looking much the same? That’s all personal interpretation of course, but I’d say it’s because Murdoc drove a car into his face and stole an unspecified amount of time from his life. I’d say because he’s out of his parent’s house for the first time in his life, and he’s going full throttle into being this person now. I’d say that in one night, and many unconscious nights following it, Murdoc smashed that same embittered attitude into the front of Stu’s skull. To be clear, that isn’t writing off Stu’s faults on Murdoc; it isn’t to say Murdoc made him egotistical or promiscuous or immature. But the attitude that you are fucking owed something is really only an attitude they share because Murdoc gave Stu someone to spite where he didn’t have that before.

(I recognize this whole dynamic isn’t for everyone and I do get it, and for what it’s worth I think it’s totally correct to say Murdoc gave Stu all the best things in his life. He just also gave him the worst bits too. The reality is neither would be here without each other, for all the good and bad that implies. It’s true that Stu’s famous because of Murdoc, but it’s also true that Murdoc’s famous because of Stu. What a tangled web!)

I’m sorry, I’m so off the question now, I just love this stuff. So, personality! That’s unquestionably a factor, the answer to the nature vs nurture debate will always be a little bit of both. I think if you tallied up all of Stu and Murdoc’s traits, desires, and behaviors after they’ve been living together a few years, you’d find a longer list in the similarities column than the differences. The environmental influence doesn’t just stop at where you’re raised, I think the environment you live in and the people who inhabit it continue to have an impact on you pretty much throughout life; even if moving to a richer city doesn’t “change” you, it changes the way you look at things, understand things, respond to things. It just inherently does. Still, I recognize that’s my own characterization of them and if you just look at the characters in canon, you’d be hard pressed to say they seem like the same guy. There are things about them that are just innately different, some of it learned through their upbringing and some of it dictated by… the way they’re wired.

Which is a point I’m really hesitant to comment on too much, but– mental health. It probably doesn’t look the same between Stu and Murdoc. There are other blogs who will discuss in more depth their neurodivergent headcanons and I see nothing wrong with that, I don’t really think there is any case that can’t be made, but I’m not especially confident making those cases myself. What I’ll say is that I don’t necessarily read Stu as having any specific learning disorder, because I fear it’s a little… iffy to have so many jokes in canon about him being thick or being slow. I think it really is just that, even prior to the injuries I reckon Stu was “a bit thick.” Head trauma doesn’t help that, though. Lifelong migraines and impaired motor function came about from the brain damage, absolutely, and I do imagine he must’ve suffered some neural response slowing, but his “lower intelligence” I feel a little less comfortable casually ascribing to anything and more to just Stu being Stu. Murdoc is also a case to be careful with, but within phase 3 it seems fair to say Murdoc suffers a psychotic break and is dealing with some delusions. Dangerously, I kind of lean into thinking this isn’t something that “just happened” because of the events of El Mañana and Plastic Beach, and that Murdoc had perhaps needed to be on an anti-psychotic like lithium well before that point. Again, I don’t want to insensitively represent this so I try not to really put such a fine point on things, but… I’m a little inclined to think Murdoc went undiagnosed in his young life and still may be demonstrating some effects of that. So, y’know, make what you will of it, but there’s that.

Sorry I nattered on about this, I do really enjoy examining both characters. Jokes about the drugs and stuff aside, I’ve always felt that the biggest difference between Murdoc and Stu is that Murdoc is adaptable, and Stu is malleable. Where that stems from is probably a combination of all these things. Murdoc knows what he wants and has no loyalties, he’s been without a future, he does what he can to succeed because he’s already done what he can to survive; Stu doesn’t know what he wants and he does have “loyalties,” but he has no sense of purpose, and he’s easily nudged in the direction you need him to go. While he can be stubborn, just like Murdoc, he’s also more sincerely shaped by his experiences even later in life into multiple, sometimes disparate versions of himself– I might even wager that’s why Stu becomes such a contradictory character without any of the contradictions feeling inauthentic. The two of them “being what they need to be” is part of the reason they accomplished as much as they did. But it’s also hard to say that they really “held on” to each other through the years, or if they just melded together in parts.

#Anonymous #sorry i'm late with this but i can't shut up #headcanon posts

[lildevyl]

Egotober Day 22:  Cauldron

I’m sorry but I have too!  I haven’t done a Musical FanFic for this month and this prompt just suited it!!!!  So, thank you @huffletrax for giving me the inspiration to do this!

Summary:  Virgil Sanders, of the Sanders Sides, goes to visit one of the most powerful and darkest Alter Egos in all of Egopocalpse in the hopes of becoming human.

(Iplier Manor)

Virgil was having second thoughts about this, as he stepped across the threshold of Iplier Manor.  This was the house that one of the most powerful and darkest Alter Egos have ever been created lived!  Why was he doing this?  He couldn’t back out now.  This was his only chance, to actually find love.  Egos couldn’t live outside of Egopocalpse and non Egos (except their creators) could live in Egopocalpse.  So, for Virgil to actually have a chance at finding love, to actually have a chance with the Prince of his dreams.  He had to become a non Ego - a human - in their Creator’s world.  It was risky but there’s no turning back now.

“Come in my child,” a deep smooth voice ranged through.  “We mustn’t linger.  It’s rude.”

Virgil followed the two Androids, Bing and Google to a room where Darkiplier stood.  Virgil swallowed hard, here he was standing in front of not only a very handsome guy, but also he, Darkiplier, was one of the most powerful and oldest Alter Egos there was.  His aura of black, red and blue swirl around him and his red eyes seem to look right through Virgil.  He smiled at Virgil but it was anything but a pleasant or happy smile.

“Ah, so this must be the Ego that wants to be human?”  Dark suggested off handly as if he didn’t know already.

“Yes, I would like to be human.  I like a chance to be in love and to not have to choose between being able to survive just outside of my Creator’s House or to live alone here in Egopocalpse,” Virgil admitted.

He hated the fact that Egos - yes even the Sanders Sides were considered “Alter Egos” of Thomas - were unable to live or barely survive just outside their Creator’s House.  But here in Egopocalypse (the Alter Reality that all Egos live) could live out their lives.  Jobs, careers, schools, families, there was just one problem.  All of them only lived for as long as the Community of their Creator knew about them, or for how long their Creator continued their job.  Some Egos lasted long like Darkiplier, others they were here and then gone!  Virgil didn’t want that!  He didn’t want to depend on the fact that minute that Thomas stopped YouTube, then they were all gone!  Including him!

So he came here in hopes of becoming human.  In hopes of, what Roman would call it, following his heart and dreams.  “Could you, could do that?  Make me human?  Make it so that I could live, outside of Thomas’s house?  Live outside of Egopocalpse?”

“My dear, sweet child.  That's what I do.  It’s what I live for.  To help unfortunate Egos like yourself.  Poor souls with no one else to turn to.”

(Darkiplier)

I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty

They weren’t kidding when they called me, well, a warlock

But you’ll find that nowadays

I’ve mended all my ways

Repented, seen the light, and made a switch

True? Yes.

Dark made his way over to his cauldron.  With a wave of his hand, the fire lit under it and it began to warm up.

(Darkiplier)

And fortunately, I fortunately know a little magic

It's a talent that I always have possessed

And dear lady, please don't laugh

I use it on behalf

Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed

Pathetic

He waved his hand again and images of two Egos came up.

(Darkiplier)

Poor unfortunate souls

In pain, in need

This one longing to be thinner

That one wants to get the girl

And do I help them?

Yes, indeed

A quick snap of his fingers and the images of the two Egos suddenly change to what they really want.  And both of them hugged each other so happy to have what they want.

(Darkiplier)

Those poor unfortunate souls

So sad, so true

They come flocking to my cauldron

Crying, "Spells, Darkiplier, please!"

And I help them!

Yes I do

Darkiplier looked over at Virgil and noticed that he had his full attention.  Well, time to start reeling him in.  Just like a fish so close to caught on a hook.  But Darkiplier is a fair Dark Alter Ego, he would let Virgil know what he truly was getting himself into.  If he actually chose not to take the deal.

(Darkiplier)

Now it's happened once or twice

Someone couldn't pay the price

And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals

Darkiplier closed his fists and the Egos turned into statues that Virgil saw in the “Soul Garden” he walk through with Bing and Google.  He swallowed hard now that he put two and two together.  This   .   .   .  This might not have been such a good idea after all.

Darkiplier waved his hand and the images disappeared.  Smirking, he started to walk over to Virgil.  Mind as well let him know what truly was getting into and to let him know what the deal would be.

(Darkiplier)

Yes I've had the odd complaint

But on the whole I've been a saint

To those poor unfortunate souls

Darkiplier used his aura to pull Virgil in over to where he was near the cauldron.  “Now, here’s the deal.  I got a spell that would make you human for three days. Got that?  Three days.  Now, this was really important, the clock won’t start until you take your first step outside your Creator’s House.  Once you do, you got until the moonrises on the third night, to get your dear old Princey to fall in love with you.  That was he’s got to kiss you.  Not just any kiss, but the kiss of true love.”

Darkiplier uses his magic to bring up a heart with a crown on it and making it shimmer when he said that.  Oh definitely has this Ego, just by the hopeful look in his eyes.

“If he does kiss before the moon rises on the third night.  You’ll remain human, permanently.”  Darkiplier showed Virgil as him fully human.  No longer worrying about trying to survive outside their Creator’s House.  Not worrying if someone finds out about them not being Thomas in “character.”  Virgil literally was smiling so bright at that.

“But if he doesn’t kiss you when the moon rises on the third night.  You’ll turn back into an Ego and -”  The image transformed of Virgil being an Ego and then a Soul Statue.  “You’ll belong to me.”

“No!  Virgil don’t - Mmhmhmhm”  Bing and Google came up behind Paton and Logan and quickly silent to two intruders.  Their Boss was so close in closing the deal, they weren’t about to let them ruin it.

“Have we got a deal?”  Darkiplier asked sticking his hand out to Virgil.

“If I become human, I'll never be with my friends or fellow Egos again,” Virgil stated realization dawning on him.  Should he say yes to this?

“That’s right, but you'll have your man.  Life's full of tough choices, innit?  Oh, and there is one more thing,” Dark stated getting Virgil’s attention.  “We haven't discussed the subject of payment.  You couldn’t get something like this for free you know.”

“But I don't have-” Virgil started but was cut off.

“I'm not asking much, just a token really, a trifle!  What I want from you is - your voice.”

“My - my voice?!”  Virgil shocked that was what Darkiplier wanted.

“You got it, Hot Topic.  No more talking, singing, zip!”  Dark popped the “p” on zip.  Oh, he so loved this Ego.  Too bad the others in Egopocalpse wasn’t this easy.

“But without my voice, how can I-”  Virgil tried to protest

(Darkiplier)

You'll have your looks, your pretty face.

And don't underestimate the importance of body language, ha!

The humans out there don't like a lot of blabber

They think a person who gossips is a bore!

Darkiplier went over to his shelves and cabinets and started gathering all kinds of things that Virgil did not want to know what they are or were.  Darkiplier came over to the cauldron and start pouring and tossing and throwing various objects and ingredients in.  Each one causes several different colors of smoke and sparks to pour out.

(Darkiplier)

Yet in our Creator’s World, it's much preferred for those not to say a word

And after all dear, what is idle prattle for?

Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation

True, humans avoid it when they can

But they dote and swoon and fawn

On those who's withdrawn

It's them who holds their tongue who gets a lover

Darkiplier disappeared and reappeared right behind Virgil and with a snap of his fingers a contract popped up right in front of Virgil with an old fashioned pen for him to sign on the dotted line.

(Darkiplier)

Come on you poor unfortunate soul

Go ahead!

Make your choice!

I'm a very busy man and I haven't got all day

It won't cost much

Just your voice!

Ya' poor unfortunate soul

It's sad but true

Darkiplier went over to the cauldron and finished what he needed for the spell.  All he needed now was for Virgil to say yes, and Darkiplier would say the incantation and full fill the spell.

(Darkiplier)

If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet

You've got the pay the toll

Take a gulp and take a breath

And go ahead and sign the scroll

“Bing Google,  now I've got his, voice,” Darkiplier whispers to the Androids.

(Darkiplier)

The boss is on a roll

This poor unfortunate soul

Virgil took the pen and closed his eyes.  He signed the contract to Darkiplier.

(Darkiplier)

Beluga sevruga

Come winds across the galaxy

Larengix glaucitis

Et max laryngitis

La voce to me

“Now, sing!”  Darkiplier order.

Virgil sang even when skeletal hands came out of the cauldron.  They went into his mouth and in his throat and took voice.  The skeletal hands brought back to Darkiplier and put into the locket around his neck.  Laughing maniacally, Darkiplier used his magic and combined with the spell, surrounding Virgil.  Virgil felt like he was being electrocuted but then it stopped only for him to have problems.  He was human now, but couldn’t be in Egopocalpse!

Paton and Logan quickly ran to their friend’s side and out of this house towards the nearest exist.  The whole time they could hear Darkiplier laughing.

Tagging:  @septic-dr-schneep, @10th-no-name-person, @a-humble-narcissus, @esperinkdraws, @weirdmixofweirdness, @egopocalypse, @epicfangirl01, @averyancora, @huffletrax, @beerecordings, @viostormcaller, @miishae, @sidespart, @fischyplier, @marshmallowmischief, @forever-forgotten-angel, @kangaroo-roux, @shadowsinyoursoul, @fear-is-nameless, @isa-ghost

#markiplier #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #paton sanders #logan sanders #bingiplier #googleplier #darkiplier #huffletrax #egotober2019 #egotober day 22 #cauldron #poor unfortunate souls #musical fanfic #musical fanfiction #markiplier fanfiction #thomas sanders fanfic #i haven't done a musical fanfic #in awhil #this felt good #let me know what you think in the comments

[solarbird]

Old Soldiers, Chapter 29 of 30, as we are near the end, gets a cut. Rating, novel: M (Chapter: T) Pairings: Widowtracer, Pharmercy Warnings: Intentionally unused until complete Summary: Decisions are made, some with more impact than others... eventually.

This chapter is worksafe. Click through to read. [AO3 link]

[All text in «angle quotes» translated from the Spanish.]

"Ana is safely at our facility in Algeria," Amélie informed Angela, as they loaded up for their return flight, back to Alicudi. Sombra had already headed off, job well done, to her favourite listening station in the north and some overdue snuggle time with her girlfriend flying in from the west. "She has been informed of certain new realities, and is... rather angry, as one might expect. And not, I think the phrase is, giving an inch?"

"Of course she's not," whispered Angela. "But... she is alive. At least there is that much."

"You did not cause Jack's death, Angela. He brought it to himself. Aggressively."

The doctor looked up at her oldest friend, and her once more than that, and shook her head, no, denying the comfort.

"I am not lying, Angela," the blue assassin insisted. "We do not lie, amongst ourselves."

"Amongst... ourselves?"

"Talon."

A small laugh. "Of course."

"Angela," Amélie stressed, "Jack Morrison was going to die today, one way or another. It was a certainty, a thing I know in my way - and it would have been at my hands, if no one else's. Of the options, I suspect you gave him the quickest, least painful death he could've met."

"A Mercy killing, as it were."

Amélie laughed, low, and dark. Lena would've loved that. I will have to repeat it, later. "If you insist."

"And that may all be true, but I am, still, the one who did it, the one who chose to pull that trigger." The doctor sighed. "I do not regret it, if that is what you are asking. It was not always inevitable, or necessary, but it had become so, perhaps... perhaps long ago."

"Good," Amélie said, putting on a gentle smile. "I am glad you feel that way."

She offered Angela a small box.

"This is yours, if you want it. Should you wish to be with us again, in the future."

Angela looked at the box - small and wooden, finely inlaid with gold, carrying the Talon insignia - and opened it. The twin pins she found it contained would fit the tabs of her collar nicely.

"...as a medic, and only that?" she asked, for her own sake.

"I assumed that would be your desire." Amélie smiled. "But if I am wrong, and you wish to enter as an assassin..."

"No," Angela laughed, softly. "I have killed... enough. But... as a medic..."

She took the pins, and attached them to her collar, one at a time.

"I have missed you, Amélie."

Amélie hugged her, strong and cool in her embrace. "I have missed you so much, and I am so glad you have returned. Thank you."

"But only as a medic," she said, thinking of her wife.

"Naturally."

"Good."

-----

«So, Gabe,» Laticia asked, as the Overwatch transport lumbered its way, low and slow, along the eastern coast of Mexico. «Where's that Sombra character from?»

Gabe looked over at the Los Muertos gangster. «Why?»

«'Cause I'm pretty sure I know.»

That's... bad, he thought. Goddamn, girl, have you figured out all our secrets? «Puts you ahead of me,» he said, carefully. «Let's keep it that way.»

«What. Really? Why?»

«Yeah. Really. And why is because there are several things in this arrangement we make a point of not knowing, and that's one of them.»

«...oh,» she said, thinking about it. «Oh.»

«Yeah.»

«I'll... keep it to myself, then,» she said, chewing on her lip. «Like the rest.»

«That's what I'd do,» he said, «if I were you.» He grinned, lopsidedly. «Sometimes, girl, you're a little too smart for your own good.»

She grinned, despite it all. «Not the first time I've heard that.»

«I believe it.»

The two sat together in silence, Gabe's feet up on the console, but away from the controls, making himself look more casual than he felt.

«Y'know,» Gabriel said, after a couple of minutes, «...there's no reason you have to go back to Los Muertos. I mean, you can, we're almost back to Dorado. But... we don't have to get there.»

«What d'ya mean?» the gangster asked.

«You are smart. And clever, too, which is different, in ways that matter. And frankly, you're not bad in a fight.» And you have nobody left to back to, he did not add aloud, but did think. Except the gang.

She gnawed on her response, briefly. «Where else would I go?»

«Ever been to Switzerland?»

Laticia blinked, and thought about it, and blinked again, eyes wide. It had been in the back of her mind, but she hadn't let herself consider it, not really. «...Are you...»

«It's been a while since I've had someone to train up. Been a while since I wanted to, too, but...» He shrugged nonchalantly, his hands in the air. «Look, you'll be a hell of a gangster if you want to be, and if that's what you want out of life, so be it, but... have you considered maybe stepping up a level? Signing up for the good fight?»

«...you're really serious?» she asked, sitting a little straighter in her chair.

«Absolutely.» He took his feet off the console, and sitting properly in the pilot's seat. «On my authority as Tactical Operations Director, Overwatch, I officially offer you ... let's call it an internship. Reporting directly to me.»

«Paid?» Laticia asked, pointedly.

The Strike Commander chuckled. «Paid. Yes. Of course. I could use an XO, and you're not ready for that yet, not by a damn sight, but... I think you could get there. It'll be hard work, there are a lot of gaps in your training, but...» He tilted his head, looking directly at her. «Want to find out?»

«Will I get a ride on one of those, what'd you call 'em, Sparrowhawks?»

Gabriel Reyes laughed again, and leaned back in his chair.

«Yeah. I'll get you a ride on a Sparrowhawk.»

«Aw yeah,» the former gangster said, putting her feet up on the console where Reyes's had been. «I'm in.»

Thank god, he thought, both glad she was along, and relieved he had one less thing to worry about later. But on the outside, he just gave her a stern look, albeit one with a grin not completely suppressed underneath.

«Feet off the console, ensign.»

«Sorry?»

«You heard. If we're gonna do this? We're gonna start immediately.»

«Do I have to call you sir now?»

«No,» he said, as he leaned forward, sending a message to air traffic control. «Commander Reyes will do just fine.»

«Aye-aye, Gabe,» she said, grinning, but not moving.

«What'd I say about feet?» he said, swatting her boots off the console. «You gotta learn to take orders.»

«Sorry... Commander,» she said, grinning, and straightening up in her chair.

«Much better,» he said, laying in the course to Geneva.

A moment went by, in silence.

«...is Ambassador Winston really a gorilla?»

Commander Reyes laughed, a third time. «Yes,» he said, «he is.» And I think you're gonna deal with that just fine.

-----

"Well," Angela said, as her flyer approached Geneva, and the Lunar Embassy. "Here we are."

Lena nodded from the pilot's seat, controlling the approach - back in her Tracer kit, and not even minding it a bit.

"Long way of gettin' here, but yeah, it worked out in the end... despite everything." She let out a little puff of air, a hoo noise. "So... y'gonna tell Ree?"

Angela nodded. "I must. I... could not keep such a thing from her, I think. I should not."

Lena puffed up her cheeks, making more noises with her breath. "Yeh. That sounds about right. I'd still be happy t'take the credit, but..."

"No," Angela looked down, at her hands. "If I have learned anything from this, it is... to own what I do. Including that."

"Fair cop," Tracer agreed.

"And also, on that note, I..."

"Hm?"

"I..." Angela swallowed, and tried again. "I am sorry that I did what I did, some weeks ago. I should not have acted against your stated wishes. I broke my word, and that was... wrong."

"Ah yeah," Venom thought, thinking back to the illicit bodyscan, taken against every agreement Talon and Overwatch had. "Y'did the wrong thing, Ange," agreed Tracer. "For the right reasons, but still. Could've cost us everything."

"I know." She knew Talon wasn't big into forgiveness, not generally, but she also knew she had a very large edge in that department, even if she did not wish to lean on that too heavily. "Can you forgive me, and - not just say the words, as you have, but... actually mean it? It is, after all... not what you are known to do."

"That's the funny thing, innit?"

"What?"

"I meant it, back at Alicudi, when I said I would. I'm really, really not gonna hold it against you. Not the scan, not takin' Jack down - hell, I couldn't do it, not that that point... not a whit of it. And not just 'cause why it all happened, either."

Mercy's heart kicked up a beat, as a cord of tension still held inside her released. "Really?"

"Really." Lena snorted a little. "Sorry if I was keepin' you in suspense, I had to let it churn for a while, get it all straightened out in my head. It's not easy!"

"I have also had a lot to think about, as of late, and so that, I understand. But... if I might ask... why not?"

"Well, for one thing, you're one of us, now. But more... I think... " She adjusted the flight attitude controls. "I think I kept Morrison - the old Morrison - alive in my head for a long time. Kind of my personal bogeyman for way, way too long. Even when we all thought he was dead, I was keepin' him goin', in my brain."

She shook her head, as the flyer dropped for final approach. "And that whole time, he wasn't th'... I dunno... the giant I thought he was. He wasn't that kind of monster, he was... he was just... just a bitter, delusional old bloke who'd screwed up big, livin' out what time he had left on the fringes, not really matterin' to anyone. Him and Ana both, holding on to what never had been... and I fell into it too." She looked a little regretful, at that. "What a waste of my time."

"He mattered, to some, even at that point."

"Maybe. But he didn't have to matter to me. Not like he did." She shook her head, again. "I bought into that whole statue thing, I guess. The propaganda. The Great Hero." Another dismissive noise. "I was seein' the myth, not the egomaniacal prat he actually was."

"Do you want an honest opinion?"

"Always, luv. Between us."

Angela took in a big breath, fortifying herself before answering. "I agree. You are right."

Lena laughed, nodding.

"But you are also wrong, and I mean it," Angela insisted. "He had been a hero. In the Omnic Crisis, he had lived that legend. He had done great things, before... whatever went wrong, in the years after. None of that is changed by what he later became - but.. I think...." She put her hands down, flat, on her legs. "The combination of the hero he had been, and the conspiratist he became... the terrible synthesis you were hating, and fearing, I think... had never existed at all, at least not outside of your own head. Not even if all the things he'd done were real."

Lena hummed, letting that sink in a bit, as well, clearly deep in thought. It's kinda different, she considered, if it's not some sorta great plan, innit? If he wasn't always some kind of evil demigod, or some kinda mastermind, or just a fool. If it just... happened. If everything he did, he did just because he... because he was coming apart, inside, before anybody even knew.

"That's fair," she replied, after another few moments, "and kinda sad. But also kind of deeper than I was goin', really."

"It is?"

"Yeh."

"Then I presume you will enlighten me...?"

Tracer shrugged off all the heavy thoughts, smiled, and waved through the glass at Winston and Fareeha who stood by waiting to greet them. She settled the craft down on the pad before looking back to Angela with her famous half-grin, unlocking her flight restraints.

"I just think I'm done holdin' onto grudges."

#widowtracer #pharmercy #past mercymaker #talon!tracer #talon!mercy #bestcase!talon #angela teufel ziegler #laticia delgado (oc) #lena venom oxton #gabriel reyes #gabe is not reaper #symmbra #old soldiers #venom #amélie lacroix #angela ziegler #fareeha amari #pharah #overwatch au #overwatch #also on ao3

[hqkj]

take back home girl — kaia.

date & location — saturday september 28, 2019 / maia’s childhood home tl;dr — the newly engaged couple makes the journey to maia’s hometown. kj officially meets his soon-to-be mother-in-law featuring — @maiimitchell, jill mitchell, mentions of charlie mitchell trigger warning(s) — NONE

Maia: Maia didn't care how tired she was from the long flight, she was just so happy be back in Sydney. From the second she stepped foot in the airport she was radiating happiness and an excitement that was unmatched by anyone else in the terminal. She was practically pulling KJ the whole way to their Uber, not wanting to waste a single second dilly dallying around. Their time there was limited and she couldn't bare wasting a second of precious time with her family. "I can't believe we're here!" she squealed, looking out the window and seeing the city she'd called home for half her life pass by. "Oh right! I have to text my Mum and tell her we're on our way." The smile on her face was so big that it nearly hurt her cheeks! She had been home a few months ago but so much had changed between then and now that she hadn't been able to share with her best friend, the person she told everything too. Being able to introduce KJ to her Mum and show off the beautiful ring he had made meant everything to her. After tapping out a text message she reached over to take KJ's hand, squeezing it gently. "Hey, you have no reason to be nervous okay?"

KJ: Normally, when KJ was en route to a con appearance, he fought a bout of nerves for a majority of his travels there; unease over the unknown, of potentially saying the wrong thing or letting a spoiler slip out, or even of being too weird with fans at a meet and greet. This time was no different - he was nervous - but this time, the nerves had nothing to do with the impending convention; rather, the antics that would be happening during the hours that he wasn’t in front of crowds of cheering fans. He’d spent a majority of the flight playing out the same scene in his head: meeting Maia’s mom. It always started the same, with them walking up to the front door, and always ended the same, with her hating his guts. No matter what he said in this internal Groundhog Day situation, he never seemed to find the right combination of things to say and questions to ask and smiles to smile in order to gain her approval. But now the wheels were touching down and KJ was almost out of time; the self torture would soon end and the scene in his head would manifest itself in reality. It wasn’t until they climbed into a waiting car that Maia reached over and gave his hand a squeeze. She spoke. KJ rolled his eyes. “Easy for you to say,” he grumbled, a small smile tugging at the edges of his lips. “You’ve already gotten that coveted gold star of approval from the parents.”

Maia: “Doesn’t mean I wasn’t nervous!” Maia leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I know my Mum better than anyone else and I like to think I know you pretty well too. Trust me, she’s going to love you too. If you think things aren’t going smoothly just mention bringing me home for Christmas and you’ll be her new favourite in minutes!” The brunette chuckled softly, hoping that would give him some safety net to lean on. Not that she thought he’d need one! Jill hadn’t shut up about how good it was to see her daughter so happy ever since the spring when KJ came back into her life. The comments had only become more frequent when KJ proposed. While Jill worried about her daughter she also just wanted her to be happy, and there was no doubt KJ had made her the happiest she’d ever been. “Plus, Charlie loves you and has been hyping you up for weeks!”

KJ: KJ nodded, pulling her against his chest to press a kiss atop her head. “I just love you so damn much...my world is pretty much be over if she doesn’t sign off on me...on us. With everything that happened between us last year, I wouldn’t blame her if she had hesitations,” he mused, not wanting to believe his own words and hoping they wouldn’t come true. The car was flying down the highway and KJ felt a smidge guilty that he wanted everything to slow down; he knew Maia was excited to be home and wanted every possible second with her family. He laughed softly, nodding. “Charlie boy’s one of the real ones. Christmas, got it. I’ll have to remember to keep that in my back pocket just in case.” In no time, the car was turning down a residential street, eventually slowing to a stop in front of a house that he’d only ever seen in photos. “Here we go,” KJ said, stealing one final kiss before sliding out of the car to grab their bags from the back. There was no going back now.

Maia: Maia stayed close to her fiancé, tucking her arms around him and hugging him tightly.  “I love you too,” she muttered softly listening to him talk about his fears. Tipping her head up she looked at KJ, “hey, I never said anything bad about you. Not once.  She knows we met and I had feelings for you. She knows we were together... even though I hadn’t left Rudy yet. And she knows I love you so much it hurts and couldn’t imagine my life without you. It may not have been ideal given the circumstances but I don’t regret it for a second. Look at us now— were in love and engaged and I know without a doubt that you’re the man I want to spent my life with. Life isn’t always simple and easy, sometimes you have to cross the line to get to something great.” Her hand slid along his jawline tipping his head down enough that she could kiss him. “We’ll be okay, I promise.” Catching a glimpse of a familiar street out the corner or her eye made her perk up and look away from him. Feeling a little guilty as a smile spread across her face, her mums house coming into view. Before she could say anymore words of encouragement KJ leaned over to kiss her. The two slipped out of the car and before KJ could even get their bags out of the trunk the front door was open and Jill let out a happy squeal at the sight of her baby girl. “There she is!” She called out as she came down the front steps to Maia, pulling her into a tight hug. When they finally broke apart maia pulled back and slipped back to KJs side. “Finally I get to properly introduce you to!! Mum this is KJ.. Kaje, this is my Mum.” For a second Jill looked KJ over, a tough look on her face like she was studying him. Finally she broke into a soft laugh and reached out to hug KJ. “Well it’s about time innit?” She laughed as she squeezed him, rocking him back and forth in a bear hug.

KJ: Until this moment, he hadn’t known exactly what and how much Maia had told her mom about their past but, knowing how close they were, he assumed she’d been filling in on the highs and lows at the very least. Maia painted a lovely picture of their relationship, somehow managing to not only justify but romanticize their past mistakes, adulterous and not...he only hoped that her mom saw it the same way. “Here’s to crossing lines,” he echoed, that twang of guilt he carried with him over the origin of their love story fading with every passing second. Maia was and always would be a girl worth fighting for. KJ startled at the unexpected thwack of the wooden door slamming against the house; he had only a portion of a second to recover before Jill’s loud voice rang out, hopping down the steps and making a beeline for her wayward daughter who’d finally come home. Every instinct KJ had told him not to let go of Maia’s hand in his until his brain caught up and convinced his dumb body that it would be a stupid idea to withhold a daughter from her mother, especially when trying to gain said mothers’ seal of approval. Her watched as the two women embraced, suddenly unsure of what to do with his hands, his insides turning over and over as they broke apart and Maia’s formally introduced him. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Jill,” KJ said, silently ecstatic he hadn’t completely butchered that simple sentence. The car shifted into gear and pulled off the curb, quickly driving back the way they’d come. The longest five seconds of his life passed at glacial speed before Jill reached out to wrap him in a strong hug, an enormous smile on her face. And just like that, his nerves were gone. She reminded him of his own mum. “Our mums are gonna get on so well,” he murmured to Maia as Jill led them into the house, lugging the bags one step behind the two who walked in perfect step.

Maia: Maia watched as Jill eyed KJ down for what felt like forever! Her eyed widened as she shot her Mum a look. Not that Jill saw it, she was too preoccupied with the boy in front next to her. Maia let out a deep sigh of relief as the two most important people in her life hugged one another. “I definitely think they would,” She chuckled softly. Once her Mum let KJ go she turned back to her daughter and linked their arms together, ushering her back into her childhood home. “I’ll put on some tea. There are some cookies waiting for you two in the living room. I wasn’t sure what you liked so I made chocolate chip for you and peanut butter my little peanut.” Maia was already blushing at the sound of her childhood nickname. “Mum!” She hissed. When Jill disappeared into the kitchen Maia turned back to KJ, slipping her hand into his now free hands. “This is it. This is home. This is where I grew up after my dad left.” The smile on her face showing a fondness and sense of pride. Tugging at his hand she let him into the living room, where pictures of a young gap toothed girl hung on the wall. Showing her slow progression to puberty or as the kids would say today, her glow up. “I can believe you’re here... I kind of feel like I’m dreaming!”

KJ: So far, Maia’s mom was like something out of a 1950s magazine on perfect moms; she didn’t know what kind of cookies were his favorite so she made two different kinds? The house was more or less spotless, the scene of chocolate and peanut butter wafting through the air, filling the place. For the briefest of moments, KJ forgot to be nervous, his guard completely down in Jill’s absence. He smiled down at her as she slipped her hand in his and modestly showed off their surroundings before pulling him deeper into the home. “This seems like a great place to grow up, *peanut*,” KJ said, emphasizing the last word as a joke, his gaze sweeping along the walls and tables that were packed with photos. It seemed every viable surface bore pictures of Maia, Charlie, and Jill, the sweetest little family ever. “I’m glad we’re finally doing this,” he said softly, fingertips brushing against a gold brushed frame that held in it a young Maia and Charlie, mid laugh, Charlie riding on Maia’s back. “So my suspicions are true then...you’ve been perfect since the day you were born.” Some mild clattering rang out from the kitchen and KJ, without even thinking, made a beeline. “Here, let me help you,” he said to Jill who had been trying to balance multiple glasses of water and another full platter of cookies. Taking the glasses from her, KJ followed her back out to where Maia was waiting, beaming at him with pride obvious in her eyes. Yes, his goal was to make Jill like and trust him, but the ultimate goal - as with every other situation in his life - was to be a guy Maia was proud to be with. He just hoped this moment wasn’t anything different.

Maia: Maia poked at his side as he rested his elbow on top of her head. “Get outta here!” she laughed, her smile still spread across her face as he dipped down to kiss her. The two were still very much wrapped up in their honeymoon phase. Maia looked at him with hearts in her eyes and butterflies in her stomach. So completely in love with him. She hoped this feeling never went away because she felt more alive and happy with him than she’d felt in her whole life. KJ Apa had turned her whole world upside down and she never wanted it to go back to the way it was. Reaching out she took the cup from him, giggling softly as he kissed her cheek. She knew damn well he was censoring himself around her Mum. The KJ she knew didn’t hold back kisses very often, only when he was nervous of whose watchful eyes were on them. Which typically only happened in the presents of their parents. Like somehow they were 13 again and trying to keep things PG around their parents. “Thank god I’m not going back to Vancouver with you next week.Your trainer already gives me hell for you slacking off on your work outs. If Alex knew I let you eat all these cookies I’d never hear the end of it.” Maia chuckled as she shook her head at him. Jill just smiled fondly watching the two love birds banter back and forth like an old married couple. “Charlie will have them eaten before he goes to bed. I can barely keep the cupboards stocked with that boy around.” Jill too shook her head and in that moment it was clear where Maia got it from. Making herself more comfortable Maia slipped back on the sofa, tucking her legs under herself so that she could rest her cup of tea in her lap. To her this was paradise. Having the two people she loved most in the world in the room together was all she needed to fill her heart and make her feel whole. When KJ started to apologize her gaze moved to him, watching him carefully as he laid it all out for Jill. The cool laid back Mum nodded as her daughters fiancé opened up about their engagement, silently impressed that her blessing was important to him. “You’re right, it is 2019 and I did raise my little peanut to make decisions for herself and carve out her own destiny. You don’t need my permission to marry my daughter KJ but it means a lot that you want my blessing to do so.” Jill leaned forward to put her mug on the coffee table, her eyes never leaving the pair on the couch across from her. “I was nervous when Maia told me you’d proposed so soon. I was worried it was too much too soon and one of you would end up hurt. Sitting here now and seeing you too together is a whole other story though.” Jill paused to collect her thoughts.“My Maia has been guarded since the day her Dad left. She doesn’t let people in and she doesn’t let her emotions get the best of her. She’s calculated, controlled and cautious. When she said she was engaged I couldn’t figure out how in the world anyone could get a girl like that to say yes to marriage in the first place. I didn’t think she’d let anyone in.. ever. But sitting here now I see a whole new Maia. I see a smile she can’t hold back and I think I heard a genuine giggle earlier… which I don’t think I’ve ever heard before! She has a glow around her that I didn’t think I’d ever see again. I was nervous KJ, I won’t lie. But sitting here today it makes sense. You make my Maia happier than I’ve ever seen her and given her a love that broke through walls she’d spend decades building up. “ Her words were soft and sincere, in a way that even had Maia misty eyed and emotional. “Son, you have my blessing — AS LONG AS you promise to keep that smile on her face for the rest of her life because I’m already getting used to it and don’t want a world where my little girl isn’t happy as all hell.”

KJ: Through every move she made, Jill’s eyes never left his, not once. But her stare wasn’t hard or cold or threatening in anyway; she brown eyes were soft and welcoming and reminded him so much of the eyes of the girl he loved. It was because of this that KJ knew he needed to be open and honest with every thought and every question that would potentially arise from this conversation. “I know things have moved fast or, at least, seem like they have but it doesn’t really feel like it...not to me, anyway,” KJ replied, every word as honest as he could make it. Looking away from Jill, he cast his gaze sideways, finding Maia’s profile and focusing in on the slight upward turn at the corner of her lips. “I feel like I’ve known your daughter my entire life. We’ve already been through so much of life’s ugliest moments together...I had to find a way to show her that I’m in this, that I’m not going anywhere, and that she’s the person I want by my side for all the other good and bad moments life will inevitably throw at us.” KJ couldn’t help but get emotional as Jill spoke, his eyes glassing over as she went on about Maia’s past, about the defense mechanisms she had been forced to rely on when her father had walked out on their family. “I hate that the world was hurting her long before she and I met. I hate that I wasn’t there for her to lean on but, like you said, I want to help her break down those walls. I want to help carry some of that burden with her.” His thoughts may have been directed at Jill but his gaze was still sat upon the girl sitting beside him, as if he was speaking directly to her. Turning his head back towards Jill, he continued, “She’s really lucky to have a mum that still goes out of her way to guard her heart. I’m just trying to be that person when you have to be here and she has to be there." In a small movement, KJ wrapped the arm closer to Maia around her waist, craving just a tiny bit of physical closeness from her, a physical manifestation of the words and promises he’d been airing to her mum. Jill finished her thoughts with a smile and her blessing; KJ’s small smile spreading into his wide lopsided grin as he tightened his grip on Maia, pressing a kiss atop her head. “I promise, Jill, hand to God, I promise. Nothing makes me happier than seeing that smile of hers so it’s a pretty beneficial arrangement for both of us,” he said with a light laugh, standing and rounding the coffee table before pulling Jill into a hug. “Sorry,” he said, pulling away, warm embarrassment creeping up his neck. “I’m a hugger. But definitely shoulda asked first.” When she pulled him back into an embraced, he glanced over at Maia and there it was: that smile that had the hearts of everyone in the room. “I love you,” he mouthed, knowing in that moment that he would spend the rest of his life enchanted by that smile and the girl who wore it.

Maia: Jill kept her eyes on KJ, listening closely to what he said. Wanting to be fair and allow him to speak his peace. Knowing in her heart that he meant it when he said he wanted to spend his life with Maia. “Maia, what spell did you put on this boy? He’s absolutely smitten!” There was a fond smile on her face as she teased the pair in front of her, laughing softly as she tried to make light of things a little bit. This was a conversation that would be remembered for the rest of their lives and she didn’t want it to all be serious stares and emotional confessions. What Jill wasn’t prepared for was the way that KJ reacted to hearing about Maia’s troubled childhood and the effects of her father leaving. The misty eyed boy staring back at her truly cared and she knew he’d do whatever he could to make sure Maia never hurt like that again. It was then that KJ earned her utmost trust. “You’re here now and that’s what matters.” Watching as her slipped his arm around Maia drawing her in close, she hoped the world would be kind to them and allow them to live this blissfully happy for as long as possible. Maia scooted closer to him, giving his knee a soft squeeze to thank him for his words. KJ was her rock and she knew she could lean on him through anything. He’d help her navigate whatever life through at her, that was for sure.“You hear that peanut? All the times you’re a lucky lady, even if you do drone on about all the times I made you do more chores than Charlie and work too hard.” Jill stuck her tongue out at Maia before looking back at KJ. “I’m happy to be passing that job over to you now. You be careful with that heart, I’m putting a lot of trust in you KJ and if you break it I will whoop that arse so fast!” She warned, wagging her finger at him. Her tone half playful and half serious. Welcoming the hug Jill stood up and gave KJ a big tight hug, whispering “welcome to the family kiddo” in his ear. Maia felt misty eyed watching KJ and her Mum hug and get on so well. “I love you too”, she mouthed back at him a big rosy cheeked smile forming there after. There was no doubt in anyones minds that in that moment she was madly in love with him. The way she watched him with hearts in her eyes was enough to make anyone believe in true love. Jill included. “Alright love birds, I have to go round to the shop and pick up a few more things from the store and pick Charlie up from Rugby practice. You two get settled in… and no funny business under my roof, you hear?” She narrowed her eyes at them to try and instill some level of fear before making her way into the hall to fetch her purse and keys.

#— f2f. #— maia mitchell. #p — take back home girl.

[harrywavycurly]

*a/n this is Part One, I hope you enjoy it and I’m so sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted a full length story for Life With Narry and really thank you so much for being so patient! I love y’all, let me know your thoughts and Part Two will be up this week!*

“I already told you I’m not going,” You could practically hear Harry roll his eyes from behind you as he let out a frustrated groan and ran a hand through his hair, you looked over your shoulder at him causing you to just chuckle when you saw how truly frustrated he was.

“Why do you have to be so bloody difficult? Niall will kill me if I can’t do my one task of getting you out of the house for a few hours.” You just shrugged as you went back to making your coffee. “I’ll let you order dessert first,” Harry smiled when he saw you stop stirring your coffee letting him know he had peeked your interest.

“Fine, just act surprised please when we get home.” You just rolled your eyes and nodded your head before you took a sip of your coffee. Harry laughed as he took a step closer to you so he could place a kiss to your forehead. “Happy Birthday Princess.” You smiled at him as he placed another quick kiss to your cheek before pulling away completely.

“Thank you H, now if you don’t mind this birthday girl wants to watch some trashy television.” Harry just chuckled as you walked out of the kitchen and towards the living room with your mug of coffee in your hand and your pajamas still on underneath your comfy robe. Just as you sat down on the couch there was a knock on your door and before you could even think about getting up Harry was already unlocking the door to see who it was.

“Oh uhm,” You looked over at the front door and had to place a hand over your mouth to hide your giggles as Harry backed up causing a few balloons to float up to the ceiling. “Thank you.” You watched him give the delivery person a small smile before closing the door with his foot, his hands where full with a big flower arrangement making you lean over and put your mug on the coffee table so you could stand up and follow him into the dinning room where he sat the arrangement down.

“These are so pretty Harry.” You gushed as you placed a hand on his arm so you could reach up and place a little kiss to his cheek.

“They are quite lovely, but they uh aren’t from me.” You raised an eyebrow as he reached over and grabbed the little card that was in the middle of the flowers. “If that little bloody hobbit got you flowers after he told me not to I’m gonna ring his-“ Harry stopped his rant when he opened the card and soon a smirk was taking over his face making you just give him a weird look as you snatched the card out of his hands.

“Oh my,” You felt your eyes go wide as you looked from the card to the flowers and then back to the card. “Oh my god.” Harry was full on grinning by the time you looked at him with his arms crossed over his chest and a smug look on his face. “Harry how? What even? He knows my address?” Harry laughed as you placed a hand on your forehead as you reread the card for the fifth time.

“I have my ways, besides we are having a party here tonight so yes he has your address, figured if he didn’t come to the party he’d at least have the decency to send you something.” Harry looked away from your face that was still full of shock to the flowers with a nod. “Seems I was right, as usual.” You just smacked his arm with the hand that was on your forehead making him chuckle as he uncrossed his arms so he could drape one over your shoulders so he could pull you into his side.

“Holy shit.” You mumbled as Harry took the card from you as you wrapped an arm around his middle while resting your head on his chest.

“Happy Birthday! I’m so sorry I can’t make it to your party tonight, hope these make you smile and don’t worry we’ll get together for a drink or two when I’m back in town, Dylan.” You felt you cheeks get hot as Harry read what was written inside the card out loud. “Niall is going to blow a gasket, might even have a proper heart attack.” You laughed as you looked up at Harry who just shot you a playfully wink.

“It’s just flowers, haven’t even spoken to the man before.” You explained making Harry just shrug as he leaned over and put the card back in its spot in the arrangement.

“Yes true, but you know what they say. First comes flowers, then comes marriage and you know how Niall is.” You held back your giggles as Harry pulled you a little closer to him. “He doesn’t like to share you.” Harry shot you a wink as he pulled away from you so he could turn and head back into the kitchen to grab his smoothie.

“Right, Niall’s the one who doesn’t like to share.” You teased as you turned and went back into the living room to finish your coffee. “Where is the Irish one anyway?” As if on queue your front door opened causing you to jump a bit making Niall laugh as he closed the door behind him.

“There she is! The birthday Princess!” You laughed as Niall walked into the living room with his arms open wide. “Come on, don’t make me tackle ya like I did last year.” Harry chuckled to himself as he entered the living room with his smoothie in his hand, You just stood up and took a step towards Niall who was quick to engulf you in a giant bear hug.

“That was very funny,” Harry added as he took his usual spot on the loveseat. “Well all until the two of you fell off the bed and the little delicate flower over here got a giant bruise on his thigh.” Niall just flipped Harry the bird as he pulled you even closer to him making your arms wrap around his middle in a tight embrace.

“S’not my fault I bruise easy ya lanky arsehole.” You laughed as Niall pulled away from you, he quickly leaned down and placed a kiss to your forehead and then your cheeks making you giggle and playfully push him away as he tried to place sloppy kisses all over your face. “What’s the matter? Don’t want my love on your birthday? Dats a bit rude innit?” He teased when you finally managed to get out of his grasp and sit back down on the couch.

“I love your hugs and kisses but I don’t need them all-“ You watched Niall go from looking at you to over your head and saw his smile fade as he raised an eyebrow, you knew he was looking at the flowers on your dinning room table.

“What are those?” Harry jumped up from his seat when he saw Niall head for the dinning room, you just stayed seated because you didn’t want to get in the way of what was about to happen. “You got her flowers? And ya went off on me bout gettin her the same gifts an nothin extra from either of us!” Harry just rolled his eyes as Niall reached for the card that was in the arrangement.

“I didn’t get her the flowers ya knob,” Harry watched Niall’s face go from confused to slightly annoyed as he read Dylan’s note. “What? It’s a nice gesture.” He added making Niall roll his eyes as he put the card back where it was as Harry crossed his arms over his chest.

“Dylan? Really Harry? Ya think that’s the best idea right now after what jus happened wit Nick?” Niall asked making Harry just shake his head as Niall placed his hands on his hips and gave Harry a hard glare.

“Oh come off it Niall, it’s a bloody birthday card and some flowers. He’s a nice lad, wouldn’t have invited him if he wasn’t a decent person.” Harry defended as Niall just bit down on his bottom lip, you couldn’t help yourself so you got up off the couch and slowly headed towards the two men. “He’s not Nick, can’t assume everyone is gonna break her heart Niall.” You felt your heart sink a little at Harry’s mumbled words, Niall just let out a sigh and nodded his head.

“Yer right.” Harry’s eyes went wide as his arms dropped from his chest and fell to his sides. “Don’t go lookin at me like that, ya heard me. M’not repeatin it.” You giggled making both of them turn their heads and look at you.

“You two are something else,” Harry just smile as you walked up to them and placed an arm around both of their middles. “Please don’t worry about me, I’m okay and I’m just taking time to enjoy life so please let’s just go and watch some Real Housewives before getting ready for dinner.” Niall just nodded his head and gave you a smile before placing a kiss to the top of your head.

“You know I only watch Real Housewives of Atlanta.” You laughed as Harry shot you a playful wink making Niall nod his head in agreement.

“Dats da best one for sure.” Niall added as you let go of them both so the three of you could go get comfortable in the living room. You soon found yourself sat between Niall and Harry on the couch with one of your throw blankets over you and you head resting on Niall’s shoulder while Harry was busy messing on his phone, probably setting up last minute details for the party that was going to happen tonight, the party that Niall still assumed you had no clue about.

#life with narry #narry fluff #narry fanfiction #harry styles #niall horan #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan imagine #niall horan fluff #one direction fanfiction #one direction fluff #harry styles blurbs #niall horan blurb #one direction blurbs #fluff #birthday imagine #solo harry styles #solo niall horan #my little irish marshmallow #my little lanky baby #my writing #surprise party #dylan o'brien #dylan o'brian imagine

[mademoisellempala-blog]

In the past weeks and months I have been thinking a lot in the midst of entering a new age. I have been hesitant to write this mostly for the reason because I don’t see myself in a place of wisdom yet to be able to share profound things I have learned throughout my short life on this planet. But it is through recent conversations and events that I have felt the need to write about something that is so vital to life itself and my journey for this whole year. I have realised to have reached an age where I’m asking myself more questions about life, its meaning and purpose overall since I’m still figuring out all this while taking each day at a time. We all go through life lessons and circumstances that strengthens or weakens us but most importantly what I figured is how we decide to go on about them. Making decisions and having the possibility of choice is a powerful tool I am learning to use in order to build and shape a life that I really want for myself and I consider worth living. In this regard there are many different aspects of life I learned which are crucial.

Live with integrity and conviction

I have learned that conviction or strong beliefs in something is important to live a full and purposeful life. When you know what you stand for and what you believe in, it is easier to go through life because you won’t be drifting where the wind takes you. Conviction helps you to stand firm to your beliefs and stay true to yourself. In a world of many information and noises, it can be difficult to know what one stands for because one doesn’t want to offend others with an opinion that appear critical in the eyes of an other. But we cannot go through life trying to shape our beliefs depending on who is in front of us and change our views to please others. I realised about myself that I grew up being a people’s pleaser and was doing just that and at some point realised I didn’t know who I was or what I even stand for because I didn’t want to be disliked, so I changed with my surroundings and environment. I believe that having core beliefs of what is right and wrong are fundamental to live a life of integrity that should first of all please you. Because without integrity, compromise of your own values will become common. So every day I try to live full of conviction in what I believe no matter if someone agrees with it or not. And yes, the emphasis is on try, because it’s something that needs to be developed innit?

What you consume, you become

This is something I learned to appreciate and accept throughout the past year. It’s a great realisation that my view of the world can be dramatically shaped by what I consume. Be it opinions of people, news, movies, shows, music, social media or vibes. Being informed and up-to-dated about what happens in the world is not only important but I find a necessity to live because political, societal and economic events affect our everyday life whether we like it or not. At the same time, the news is ever more negatively loaded with pessimism and end-of-the-world thoughts. If that’s the only thing I consumed, my world would be shaped by hopelessness and despair. The same goes for the other things we consume on a daily basis; this is to say that the more things we watch, read, or talk about are filled with hope and expectation, that’s when our perspective on this world can change drastically. When I catch myself reacting a certain way to a situation, I think of what I have been filling my spirit with during the day or in the past weeks because it turns out that it is those things that manifest. What comes out of you, words and behavior, is the result of what is inside of you. Therefore, I am not just concerned about what I say or how I behave but most importantly with what is inside of me since ultimately it is that what is going to come out of me. Being filled with hatred, anger and comparison is not going to bring out love, patience and peace – it’s just as simple as that. There is this popular saying from commercials that say “start your day right” and there is so much truth in it because the first things one does in the morning determine the course of the day. Taking time in the morning to relax, pray or meditate for a few minutes instead of rushing to my phone and check the newest posts on social media and news-outlets has had a tremendous impact in going with a positive mindset into the day.

Know the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’

Not too long ago I have started to become more critical about what I do as my choice of studies, professions and other activities. I want to be sure that I’m doing things for the right reasons with no ulterior motives. I don’t want to be doing things just for the sake of doing them or ‘because that is what everybody else is doing’ or because of long traditions that say ‘this is the way we have always been doing things’. In the journey of discovering my purpose, I want to have purpose in everything I do that contributes to my growth and the person I am. However, this is not to say that I have my life is completely planned out and I’m not ready for spontaneous nonsense because these are also part of living in the moment. I guess what I’m trying to say is not to settle for less than what I know is out there for me and be critical of my decisions to not pursue things (degrees, jobs, careers, activities etc.) for the wrong reason. It is how, especially this year, I started things and found myself quitting on them because I afterwards realized that it didn’t bring me peace since the reason behind me doing them were not the right ones.  

Set boundaries

This is something I’m still learning every day to set boundaries of what I can/should/want to tolerate because I feel there are people out there who don’t respect boundaries or whatsoever. So, having conviction of what you want in your life and don’t want is key to not accept everything that makes you uncomfortable. Drawing the line is for you and not against another human being because you’re the one living in your reality and knows best what you can take in and what you cannot accept. Now I have decided what I want and everything that isn’t it, I say ‘no’ to them.

Not everyone can have a seat on your table

As painful and hurting as it can be, it is true that with life moving on, not everyone can move with us into our future. Sometimes we try to hold on to friendships because we’ve been friends for so long and grew up together, but ways go apart and life directions do too. Therefore, it’s fine when the seats at your table consists of only a few numbers of people who love and support you in your decisions and dreams. Not everyone can understand your dreams and thus will not be supportive and it’s ok because the few people who are left will always be more than enough. I’m not a fan of Drake’s lyrics saying “no new friends…” because it’s a narrow and unhealthy way of viewing the world and relationships because true friendship is not defined by the number of years you’ve known each other but the quality of time when you spend with the people. And truly quality doesn’t come in numbers..

Make a decision

Decisions, decisions. Indecision is a peace killer… It is important to make decisions just for the sake of peace. If you don’t sort the trap of indecision you will live in constant imprisonment to your own indecision. Often times I find myself in situations where I seem not to be able to make a concrete decision between choices. I figured I have put myself in such situations and created them even though deep down I exactly knew what I wanted. And that initial feeling is most of the times the one we lean towards to. Because a lot of times we are making up stuff and creating room for indecision and call them options. Having options is a luxury and nothing bad but pretending to have options that are overwhelming and take away your peace, is surely not the best option neither.

Travel alone at least once

This year I had the dream to travel solo around the East Coast of the USA. It was the first time I travelled alone for a longer period of time where I could just do what me, myself and I desired to with no consideration or regard for someone else. And it was AWESOME! Travelling by yourself is one of the greatest growing experience a person can have because you learn more about yourself by spending time with you and rely on only you and no other person. I enjoyed going to parks and read a book while lying on fresh-cut grass with marvelous city views. I loved waking up when I felt like it and start the day off by having brunch or breakfast, or just eat a fruit on my way to a museum to then have amazing lunch from the food truck afterwards. Taking walks in big cities not knowing where I was going was very adventurous. I love doing nothing in pretty Cafés and enjoy my solitude (not loneliness because there is a big difference), I loved going out for dinner at restaurants I discovered around the corner when going for a walk and attending poetry nights in the mind-blowing city of New York. It’s the most refreshing and deliberating feeling since you are the only person you have to spend time with for the rest of your life; so you might as well like spending time with yourself, right?

Document your journey

Now this is just for those of us who want to grow personally and see change in our character. Although we as humans are naturally made to continually evolve and grow, some are comfortable staying the same, which is fine because everyone makes their own decisions, right? At the beginning of the year I started to document my journey weekly, sometimes daily or monthly to affirm myself of my growth. It’s also a nice way of keeping track of what one has experienced and can always go back and read about it because I tend to forget quickly what I did even two days ago haha. It helps remember different experiences that happened and reminisce back. Anyways, I find it helpful to see that I’m not the same person today I was a few months ago and that I have gotten to a different place mentally and spiritually.

Enjoy the journey of becoming

I’m learning this patiently every day that it is not about the destination of where I want to be in life but the journey to that is as important as the goal. Having this mindset also shifts the way I perceive happiness, disappointments, good news and defeat. It becomes relative when I’m aware that individual incidents don’t determine my path or the person I am.

Don’t do it alone

Life is not meant to be lived alone no matter if it’s a happy life or a life filled with hardships. I may be more of an introvert person who enjoyyy her alone time more than group hang sessions. But I don’t take them for granted neither – because friendships are precious, and we should cherish the once who are strengthening us in life. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness but strength because one acknowledges the limits of one’s power. Living in a western-cultured society that puts the individual in the centre of success and defeat implies that everything that I have ever achieved is because of me, myself and I. But in reality, no human being can ‘make it’ with their own effort since from the moment we are born and in our infant ages our simple survival depends on the people who nourish, protect, and take care of us.

Be more self-reflective

I guess this post is a way for me to reflect on what I have learned especially this past year and take it to where I want to progress in life. I try to be more critical of my views and perspective while also not being too hard on myself when I don’t figure something out right away. I am more open to correction and new learning experiences because I will never reach a level of complete knowledge. I’m still learning to be more empathetic toward others and understand their point of view by accepting the reality of opposing views.

Surround yourself with positivity

This! This is so crucial for when you want to live a positive-filled life. One need to like what one does, and one needs to have a positive environment. That’s why choosing the right people in your circle and what you consume, as mentioned above, are essential if you want to have a positive world surrounding you.

Soo this ended up being more than I actually wanted to write but if you’ve made it to the end, kudos to you & thank youuu!

xx

    TWENTY-FIVE In the past weeks and months I have been thinking a lot in the midst of entering a new age.

[aion-rsa]

Biggest Movie Traitors and Backstabbers in Cinema

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Last week, as part of the streaming service’s ongoing plan to bring Warner Brothers’ slate of theatrical releases to audiences at home HBO Max premiered Judas and the Black Messiah on the same day it opened in theaters. Directed by Shaka King, the incendiary historical drama centers on the rise of Fred Hampton, the charismatic Black Panther Party leader, and his tragic betrayal at the hands of FBI informant William O’Neal.  Daniel Kaluuya stars as Hampton, a scorched-earth performance that attempts to recreate the magnetism and magma-like intensity of the revolutionary figure, but Kaluuya is somehow not the star of the film.

The film’s true protagonist is O’Neal, played by LaKeith Stanfield. After getting himself into some hot water, O’Neal is propositioned by FBI agent Roy Mitchell (Jesse Plemons) to either infiltrate the Black Panther Party and report back on his findings or face jail time. At first O’Neal seems to luxuriate in the kickbacks he’s given by Mitchell for his intel but he quickly learns how dangerous it is to lead a double life. O’Neal also has to try to reconcile betraying the very movement he’s spent real time and energy trying to build.

Stanfield’s performance is filled with queasy anxiety and paranoia but also cockroach-like survival tics. It’s an all-time great turncoat performance, worthy of the biblical reference in the film’s title. To honor Stanfield’s turn as “Wild” Bill O’Neil, here’s a countdown of some of cinema’s greatest backstabbers.

Fredo Corleone – The Godfather Part II (1974)

Fredo Corleone, the least intelligent and most ineffectual of Don Vito’s children, has become something of a pejorative term used against anyone deemed to be the lesser sibling in a famous family. Played with a sense of melancholy and knowing pity by esteemed character actor John Cazale, Fredo’s betrayal of his brother Michael is due more to petty jealousy than it is to Machiavellian scheming or dreams of leading the Corelone Crime Family.

As the character pathetically rages, “‘Send Fredo off to do this. Send Fredo off to do that. Let Fredo take care of some Mickey Mouse night club somewhere’… I can handle things! I’m smart! Not like everybody says!” The worst part about Fredo’s actions against his family is that it’s unclear if Fredo actually knew what was being planned against his brother or whether he was just blindly jumping at the opportunity to be important and have something for himself.

Lando Calrissian – Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Perhaps the most lovable backstabber on the list, Lando at least shows some backbone and tries to make up for his nearly unforgivable alliance with the Dark Lord of the Sith, Darth Vader. While serving as Baron Administrator of Cloud City in The Empire Strikes Back, Lando is visited by Vader and bounty hunter Boba Fett and told to help trap his old friend Han Solo and the Rebels seeking sanctuary in Cloud City in exchange for the safety of the city’s citizens.

After selling his friend out, Lando has a change of heart when he overhears Han being tortured and realizes that Vader and the Empire were already reneging on their promises. He helps Leia and Chewbacca escape, and is able to evacuate Cloud City before the Empire is able to retaliate. Later he participates in the near-incompressible plot to rescue Han Solo and serves as a key general in the Rebel Alliance. Still, even back when he’s on the wrong side of the fight, Billy Dee Williams is able to turn Lando an appealing character, making his eventual redemption that much sweeter.

Henry Hill – Goodfellas (1990)

Ray Liotta plays the ultimate rat. After a long and fruitful career as a capo for local boss Paulie Cicero, Henry Hill’s mafia lifestyle comes to a final, screeching halt after he’s arrested by narcotics agents while trying to facilitate unapproved drug deals with his Pittsburgh associates. Henry’s good friend Tommy jokingly posits that Henry would crack under questioning earlier in the film, but Henry’s damning testimony against his associates Jimmy Conway and Paulie is all about survival: Henry knows that if he doesn’t cover his own ass, Jimmy will have him and his wife killed.

Read more

Culture

The Real Goodfellas: Gangsters That Inspired the Martin Scorsese Film

By Tony Sokol

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The Godfather Coda: The Death of Michael Corleone Proves a Little Less is Infinitely More

By Tony Sokol

Becoming the very thing that mafioso’s hate most of all, Henry turns on his friends and is forced into the witness protection program. All Henry ever wanted was to be a gangster, but in the protection program, he’s reduced to “an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook.” It’s a fate that may be worse than death for him.

Mr. Orange – Reservoir Dogs (1992)

Arguably the villain of the story, depending on who’s side you’re on, Mr. Orange is actually L.A.P.D. undercover cop Freddy Newandyke. Looking to bring down crime boss Joe Cabot, Mr. Orange infiltrates his crew and takes part in diamond heist gone bad. In the ensuing chaos, Mr. Orange is shot and ends up killing an innocent civilian in retaliation. Played by Tim Roth, Mr. Orange screams and cries as he believes he’s fatally wounded, but it’s also possible that he’s airing out the guilt he feels in letting his undercover operation get so out of hand.

Without going into all of the bloodshed in the conclusion of Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs, Mr. Orange’s double agent status is so sound that it eventually leads to the demise of almost all of Cabot’s colorful crew, and Orange then feels compelled to confess his deception, resulting in an ambiguous ending that most believe concludes with his death.

Dennis Nedry – Jurassic Park (1993)

Wayne Knight’s Dennis Nedry is probably the most cartoonish Benedict Arnold of the bunch, and if you think about it, the only human antagonist in the original Jurassic Park film, if you’re not counting short-sighted, megalomaniacal John Hammond. The slovenly Nedry is chief architect of the computer system at the fledgling Jurassic Park theme park, and he’s miffed by perceived low pay. So he decides to take an offer from Lewis Dodgson (“DODGSON, WE GOT DODGSON HERE!) of rival biotech company Biosyn to steal embryos of 15 dinosaur species in exchange for $61,500,000.

To make his grand escape with the embryos, Nedry shuts down the park’s security systems, including the electric fences surrounding the dinosaur paddocks. He also uploads a self-aggrandizing computer virus to prevent the systems from being quickly turned back on. However, a perfect combination of his own harebrained scheme and a nasty storm leaves Nedry stranded and at the mercy of a young Dilophosaurus. It does not end well.

Cypher – The Matrix (1999)

Cypher’s betrayal of the Nebuchadnezzar crew in The Matrix is pretty easy to see coming, and not just because the character is played by Joe Pantoliano, who’s portrayed many malcontents throughout his career. Cypher being a red pill dabbler and wishes he had taken the blue pill instead. He also outwardly makes his disapproval of Morpheus known throughout the movie. Using “ignorance is bliss” as his mantra, he strikes a deal with Agent Smith to return him to the Matrix and erase his memory of ever awakening from it in exchange for selling Morpheus out.

Read more

Movies

The Matrix 4 Already Happened: Revisiting The Matrix Online

By John Saavedra

Movies

Jurassic World: Top Jurassic Park Deaths by Dinosaurs

By David Crow

After tipping Smith off to a meeting with the Oracle, Cypher goes full villain and unflinchingly kills Dozer, Apoc, and Switch before finally being stopped and killed. At least he’s free from the reality he hated so much.

“Mad Eye Moody” (aka Barty Crouch Jr.) – Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)

What’s a bigger betrayal: Death Eater Barty Crouch Jr. revealing that he’s been impersonating Alator “Mad Eye” Moody for the entirety of Harry Potter’s fourth year at Hogwarts, or Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling revealing herself to be a transphobe, betraying many of the themes of her beloved book series? We’ll leave that one to you, dear reader.

However, Barty Crouch Jr. (David Tennant before he was the Doctor) memorably betrays Harry Potter and the Hogwarts community by using the Polyjuice Potion to impersonate the former Auror and ensure that Harry would get into the Triwizard Tournament and ascend to the Third Task, which was a trap to help Lord Voldemort return to a body of his own. At least the real Mad Eye didn’t actually turn his back on those that revered him (like Rowling).

Colin Sullivan – The Departed (2006)

The biggest rat in a film full of “gnawing, cheese-eating fucking rats,” Sgt. Colin Sullivan (Matt Damon) is the criminal counterpoint to Leonardo DiCaprio’s undercover cop Billy Costigan, an undercover gangster who serves as the personal mole to Irish mob boss Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson).

Played with smarm and cowardice by Damon, Sullivan eventually double crosses the police and Costello when he discovers that Costello is an FBI informant—a rat leading rats. Scared but trying to retain his high-ranking job, Sullivan misguidedly tries to position himself as a hero and tie up all loose ends, resulting in a shocking, bloody finale that finds cocky Colin Sullivan miraculously as the last man standing. Or at least the last man standing for the moment, as a final, forgotten loose end returns to give the audience what they want; another dead rat.

Robert Ford – The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)

Well, it’s all right there in the title, innit? Played with a jealous, insecure bent by a creepy (in multiple ways) Casey Affleck, Robert Ford starts off as a Jesse James fanboy, desperate to join the outlaw’s gang with his brother Charlie (Sam Rockwell). When he finally gets close to the mythical criminal (a shadowy Brad Pitt), Bob begins to resent the man, eventually brokering a deal with the Governor of Missouri to either capture or kill Jesse James in exchange for a substantial bounty and full pardon.

Read more

Movies

Hamilton: The Real History of the Burr-Hamilton Duel

By David Crow

Movies

News of the World Review: Tom Hanks Western Has Rugged Warmth

By David Crow

Bob Ford cozies up to Jesse James even further, eventually earning the man’s complete trust, before cowardly shooting the man in the back—although in the film both carry an air of expectation that it needs to happen. Ford then lives out the rest of his days known as the coward punk that betrayed Jesse James until his eventual murder.

Aaron Burr – Hamilton (2020)

Close knit allies but ideological opposites, Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton both fought in the Continental Army for independence from the British. However, when it came time to actual govern the new country that they fought to begin, the men drifted apart.

It’s unfair to call Burr the only backstabber in this relationship, because both men betray their former friend. Burr (Leslie Odom Jr.) becomes jealous that Hamilton (Lin-Manuel Miranda) constantly has George Washington’s ear, and switches political parties to defeat Hamilton’s father-in-law in an election, ending their mutual admiration.

Burr also inadvertently pressures Hamilton to publicly reveal an affair, which strains the rivals’ relationships even further. However, when Hamilton endorses Thomas Jefferson (Daveed Diggs) in the third presidential election, a man that he doesn’t even like, to block Burr’s political malleability from the presidency, it becomes the final straw for Burr, who challenges Hamilton to a duel. In the ensuing gunfight, Hamilton throws away his shot, and Burr seals his fate to be remembered as the villain who killed Alexander Hamilton.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

[theresatimeforus]

Just a little something I’ve been working on. Based on the prompt -

‘We’re contestants on a reality show and we kind of hate each other so the producers told us to pretend to be warring exes for the ratings so now we keep inventing crazier and crazier things the other did while we were dating’ au

This is the first part, more to come soon hopefully! Thanks 🙂

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?”

“Language Zayn. We’ve spoken about this before - no swearing in the diary room please,” the producer chastised, his voice booming through the microphone even more ominously than usual. It was Zayn’s least favourite, the one with the posh accent, probably Eton educated who got his job through ‘Daddy's’ connections and it only served to fuel Zayn’s anger.

“I’ll bloody well swear when you come up with shitty ideas like this one thanks very much. And besides this is obviously not going to be shown on tele - can’t risk the public finding out that most of Big Brother is bogus,” Zayn shot back, well and truly sick of the behind the scenes goings of this show he was now wishing he’d never signed up for. Although technically he’d been tricked into it by his so-called best friend Louis who had convinced Zayn he was just coming along to the auditions for moral support, the irony being he got through and Louis didn’t.

“Oh what a surprise. Zayn’s overreacting again. Colour me shocked,” an all too familiar voice interjected sarcastically.

Zayn could feel himself gripping the armrest of the chair tightly as he desperately tried to resist the urge to turn towards the body attached to said voice and push him onto the floor. Liam. Just his name was annoying. As was the fact that, thanks to the shows stupid ‘rules’, he didn’t even know his second name. He was simply Liam from Wolverhampton, trainee firefighter and all round good guy. Loved by everyone, both in the house and out in the real world it seemed. Everyone except Zayn that is, who took an instant dislike to Liam from the moment they first met. And the feeling was most definitely mutual.

“So you’re ok with this I suppose?” Zayn challenged, reluctantly turning to face Liam while simultaneously making sure not to brush up against his stupid muscly legs, given they were currently sharing the dairy room chair. “Us suddenly revealing that we actually used to go out but now we hate each other. Oh and it’s just one big coincidence that we ended up on Big Brother together. Yeh really believable.”

Liam fixed Zayn with a frown, before it slowly started to morph into a smirk, his enjoyment at putting Zayn on the spot obvious. “Why are you getting so worked up about it? You don’t think we could have dated? Am I not good enough for you Zaynie?”

And there it was. The reason Liam drove Zayn up the wall. He was always challenging everything Zayn said (not to mention calling him Zaynie), constantly goading him into arguments with no real meaning and over such trivial things. Like yesterday they had spent half hour arguing over whether it was best to combine two different scents or to just stick with one. Zayn had won that one by getting Liam to smell him after putting on his Gucci and Armani aftershaves and he’d been more than a little disconcerted at how much Liam appeared to enjoy it?

“I didn’t say that Leeyum,” Zayn retorted, purposely drawing out his name cause he knew how much that annoyed Liam. “I might’ve considered dating you back in my uni days when I was a bit hard up for a shag and wanted to be with someone a little less intellectual for a change.”

“Oh I see. So because I didn’t go to university that makes me dumb does it? But of course you would have deigned to offer me a mercy fuck anyway just to see how the common working class folk do it even though you’re Bradford born and bread and you can’t get much more working class than that. Have I got that right Zayn?” Liam argued back, moving a little bit too much into Zayn’s space for his liking.

Before they could get to a point were they were really trading full on insults the producer interrupted, clearly exasperated with both of them. “Guys. Please. Can’t you just stop arguing for a minute so we can discuss this properly? Liam, you sound like you’d be ok with playing this scenario out, is that right?”

“Yeh, why not. Sounds like it could be fun coming up with stories about our ‘relationship’. You know the sort of thing - our first date, first time we hooked up, the first time I realised Zayn was a pretentious prick,” Liam joked, breaking out into that weird giggle-shrug thing he was always doing.

“Liam. That’s not helping the situation and you know it,” the producer warned. “And besides it’s not really what we’re going for. We were thinking more along the lines of ‘we really loved each other, but we were both too wrapped up in own careers to make it work’. You know more of a romantic slant to it - we really think the public will eat it up, especially considering how good looking and popular you both are.”

“Romantic? Me and Liam? That’s so not going to work. Oh, and more importantly why the hell didn’t you tell Liam off for swearing? Actually, don’t worry I already know the answer to that question - it’s cause he’s the golden boy innit it? Everyone loves Liam. Blah, blah, blah. God, I’m so sick of all of this. So you know what, I’ve changed me mind. The answer’s yes. I’d be happy to tell the whole world how much of a dick Liam from Wolverhampton really is and why I dumped his annoying arse,” Zayn finished triumphantly.

“You dumped me? Really?” Liam protested, a picture of wide eyed shock. “I don’t think so Zaynie. I think it was the other way round babe. Yeh, but don’t worry I let you down gently. Told you it wasn’t you, it was me, that we wanted different things - that it wasn’t your fault you couldn’t fulfil me sexually. You know, what with my high sex drive and the fact that you were a bit boring in that department.”

Zayn could feel himself losing control, even though logically he knew Liam was mostly only saying what he was saying to rile him up. But for some reason logic always seemed to go out the window when he was around this frustrating man. So instead of ignoring Liam’s gibes like he should have, Zayn bit back with gusto, “Of fuck off Liam. Trust me, I’m far from boring in bed, but unfortunately for you, you’ll never get the chance to find out, because I wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole!”

Liam laughed, only infuriating Zayn further. “Well if it’s the size of poles we’re comparing here bro, I think we can all agree I’ve got you covered in that department. I mean don’t forget we’ve showered together a few times now, so the proof is there for everyone to see.”

As Zayn looked at Liam, his eyes crinkling with he force of his laugh, a part of him wanted to join in, could appreciate his attempt at some pretty lame humour. And that’s what made this whole situation even more exhausting and confusing. It would make his time in this god forsaken house a lot more bearable if he let himself like Liam as much as everyone else did. So why couldn’t he seem to do that?

“Zayn? You still with us babe?” Liam asked, breaking Zayn out of his bout of self reflection.

“Yeh. Sorry. Just got a bit distracted for a second there.”

“Distracted hey? Thinking about my pole maybe? Cause I wouldn’t blame you if you were - I’ve been told it is pretty bloody impressive. Did I tell you it’s got a nickname? ‘The Paynus’. Get it - Payne’s penis, combine them two words and you get paynus!” Liam finished with a flourish, clearly very proud of both his paynus and how he’d come up with it’s daft nickname.

And just like that Zayn no longer wondered why he hadn’t been able to get along with Liam. “Oh my god. Are you fucking serious Liam? Do I look like someone that would give a shit about your cock’s name!” Zayn snapped, before abruptly getting up from the chair, suddenly filled with an overwhelming desire to get as far away as possible from the unnamed producer, the diary room and especially Liam.

“Zayn, please don’t leave. Just sit down again so we can talk about how to play this. And Liam. No more lewd talk ok? It’s making Zayn uncomfortable and is frankly inappropriate for the diary room,” the producer cautioned.

“Zayn? Is that true?” Liam asked, looking up at him with his puppy dogs eyes.

Zayn let out a loud sigh, raking a hand down his face as he mulled over what to do. Liam’s pleading eyes were a bit difficult to ignore, but his desire to get away from this situation ultimately proved to be stronger. “Look, I really haven’t got the will power to deal with this anymore, so how about you and your other producer mates go away and figure all that out yourself and then get back to us. And Liam,” Zayn paused to look directly at his housemate, fixing him with a determined stare, “I’m really not bothered by you talking about your penis or any other part of your body. I just need some time on my own right now ok? Ok, good. Nice chat lads, l see you later.”

And with that Zayn marched out of the diary room as fast as he could, not waiting on a response from either man, although he could hear a brief conversation ensue between Liam and the producer, one which he had no desire to stick around for. Liam, however, apparently had other ideas, quickly catching up with Zayn and reaching out and grabbing his arm gently, causing him to stop in his tracks, just when he thought he was finally in the clear.

“Ya know it’s just banter right babe?” Liam implored quietly. “I don’t mean half of what I say. It’s a bit of a laugh is all, to lighten the mood when things get boring around here. Trust me, I don’t usually brag about my dick to people I hardly know and I certainly don’t think you’d be a bad shag or even a bad boyfriend out in the real world.”

“Gee thanks Liam. I feel so much better now, knowing you think I wouldn’t be totally shit in bed. Oh and I’m boyfriend material, really? I’m honoured,” Zayn hissed, rolling his eyes and refusing to turn to face Liam. He was mightily sick of the events of the last half hour and an apology from Liam, even if genuine, wasn’t going to change that, so he picked up his pace as he set off again, determined to get away from this man and this conversation that was doing his head in.

“Zaynie. Wait up. Come on, don’t be like that. At least give me a chance to make it up to you - I’ll make you a nice cuppa, even give you one of me chocolates I stashed away from the other night,” Liam bargained.

He sounded genuine is the thing, but Zayn figured it was best to be wary of his instincts in this instance. He turned briefly, fixed Liam with a withering stare and gave him the finger, hoping he would finally get the message that Zayn just wanted to be left alone.

“Zayn. Zayn,” Liam yelled after him, almost sounding upset, but Zayn didn’t stop to find out. He just continued on purposely to his little spot in the garden where he liked to retreat to when everything in the Big Brother house got a little bit too much (funnily enough most of those times so far had  involved Liam in some way, but Zayn wasn’t in the mood to dwell on that now).

******

#ziamfanfiction #ziam fic #ziam #love in plain sight #reblog #queue #🙂

[hellsangelsheavensrejects]

Times Forgotten: All the World’s a Stage

This takes place a few months after Harry struck out on his own after apprenticing with Nicholas Christian at Ragged Angel Investigations.

Harry 

The man performing magic on stage in the theater was bad news. Bad news with a bright, red, juicy arsenic cherry on top.

The theater was one of the old-fashioned kinds, complete with a pair of huge, dusty red curtains that had been drawn open across the stage at the beginning of the show. A scattering of props, some still covered with black silk sheets and awaiting their parts in the show, decorated the stage and podium– cabinets painted with arcane symbols both real and fantastical, a low, long table littered with cards and bits and baubles and curiosities, one of those long, enclosed boxes for sawing hapless damsels in half, and– Harry couldn’t see very clearly from where he sat, but he could swear he saw a summoning circle built or painted on the stage floor. The man performing was good looking in a rugged sort of way, his build slim and athletic, a shock of sandy blond hair topping his head, a pair of shrewd, intelligent eyes roving over the audience. He had a showman’s flair, an arrogant grin, and spoke with a heavy Liverpool accent, his voice dripping with sarcastic amusement as he said his lines.

And he was using real magic. Harry could feel it weaving and dancing and crackling, electrifying the air around him as it took shape under the magician’s will.

Harry shifted in his chair and frowned, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees as he studied the man. He’d heard rumors of somebody using real magic in public shows and had immediately set out to investigate. The discovery of the man’s name shortly thereafter had served to put the entire case in a different light.

He’d heard things about John Constantine.

A lot of things.

A lot of… highly disturbing things. Such as how he’d been responsible for the death of a little girl during a demonic summoning gone awry. How he seemed to have no scruples, no restraint, no morality of which to speak. How he was a slippery, conniving, slimy bastard who would stab you in the back the second he saw opportunity in it, then walk off with a smirk and a pull on his ever-present cigarette as if he hadn’t just shattered somebody’s entire world.

And, most disturbing of all were the whispers that he had the White Council wrapped around his little finger. He didn’t even want to think about the sort of power, the sort of mind that could accomplish such a thing. He didn’t want to believe it was possible, and yet here was John Constantine, larger than life and with his head still attached to his body. There was something to that particular rumor.

There was no way Harry was going to let this loose canon run rampant over his city, doing God knows what kind of damage. So he was going to do what he did best.

Stick his nose in where it wasn’t wanted.

He crossed his arms over his chest, shifted in his seat, and continued watching the show.

John

The auditorium beyond the bright stage lights was dark, full of shadowy figures, but he could feel the attention. The power of it fuelling him, a magic all of it’s own, making it so easy to perform trick after trick after trick.

Real magic, yes, but parlor tricks compared to what John Constantine was capable of. Conjuring demons, twisting reality. Walking through Hell and coming out unscathed.

Mostly.

There was something electric about it. About standing there, in the bright spotlights, for all the world to see.

He did so much of his work in the shadows, this was it’s own kind of high. And maybe the buzz from the half bottle of whisky he’d downed before helped, too. Making him pleasantly lightheaded and urging him on.

“For my next trick …”, he announced and his voice carried through the air without any electronic help. “I need an assistant.”

Measured, deliberate steps brought him to the very edge of the stage, out of the direct light and then he could see them sitting there. Faces turned up towards him in rapt attention. His very own congregation worshipping at his feet. He grinned at them and spread his arms. The pale skin of his forearms, revealed by rolled up sleeves of the half unbuttoned dress shirt, was littered with the first, dark lines of what would become a tapestry of occult tattoos. Before him, in the first row sat a young redhead, curves in all the right places, hair done in curls and lips painted red. That kind of retro rockabilly thing that was going around and she was looking up at him with her mouth half open.

“You there, pet.”, John smiled and swung one hand around, going down on one knee to reach out for her. “Would you do me the honours?”, his voice dripped honey and he could see her pull her bottom lip between her teeth.

She’d have those lips around his cock later, he didn’t even need any divination to know that much.

Her hand in his was warm and soft and he pulled her up on the stage with just a little push of magic, making the skirt of her pretty little dress flare and her giggle. She landed in his arms, one hand against the exposed skin of his chest and he winked at her. “‘llo there. Wha’s your name, eh?”

“Emma.”, she sighed as he put his arm around her waist and spun them away from the edge of the stage, back into the light, in a quick little dance.

“A grand applause”, John announced and stepped away from her, guiding her into a little twirl in front of his audience. “For Emma!”

And as if enchanted, the audience complied, breaking into rapturous applause as John pulled Emma back to him, her back against his chest, his arms around her, cheek resting against her fragrant curls and she shifted a little, pushing her behind against his crotch before trying to catch his eye with another seductive little bite to her lip.

His attention, however, was on the audience again. Skilled hands whipped one of the black silken sheets off of a large, heavy crystal ball, before gripping the glittering sphere in both hands. “Now, Emma.”, he purred in her ear and delighted in her shiver. “Dis is where I need your help, pet. Take hold of the sphere and lift it with me, yeah?”

It was heavy, but only for the first inch, then the strain in John’s arms shifted from lifting the weight to pouring magic into the object.

“Oh!”, Emma giggled in his arms as the crystal lifted with little to no effort up to her eyelevel.

“Dis is just the beginning, pet.”, John continued and removed his hands, spreading them outward. He could feel her gasp. And then: “Let go, Emma.”

She did so without hesitation, following his direction without question and he wasn’t quite sure if that was what made him twitch pleasantly in his skin tight jeans or if it was the way she leaned back against him.

It might have also been the renewed, thunderous applause of the audience.

“Oh, but tha’s nothin’, innit?”, John called over the roar.

He stepped out from behind Emma, keeping her in place with a touch to the small of her back.

“Coul’ be wires, coul'n’ i’?”, still, his voice carried easily, even over the good natured yells for proof that the sphere was, indeed floating.

Harry

One thing was for sure, John Constantine was one hell of a showman. There was an undeniable magnetism about him that seemed to cast its own sort of spell over the entire room; even Harry wasn't entirely uneffected as he watched the act unfold. The scent of magic filled the room, reality warping and bending and refracting with the magician at the epicenter, like the eye of a storm, as he passed a large silver ring around the levitating crystal ball. The crowd gasped and applauded. The trick was old hat, had been performed a thousand times over since the inception of stage magic, but that didn't matter.

Most people, whether they're aware of it or not, have the innate ability to sense the elemental forces of the universe. Maybe they can't put a name to it, maybe they attribute it to religion or psychology or the skillful use of mundane showmanship, but they've all felt it. It's in that shiver, that sense of awe and wonder you get when you see the distant, hazy magnificence of mountains, collossal giants that saw the Earth when it was young, looming closer and closer as you drive. When you get away from the lights of the city and can see, can really see the silver dust of stars scattered across the sky, knowing that every miniscule speck of that dust is a vast, fiercely burning inferno in systems light years away, many of them orbited by alien planets and their moons. Or when you visit an ancient architechtural ruin and move between crumbling pillars, your feet walking over the same stonework that the ancient Greeks or Romans or Mayans tread on. Or when you're driving alone on a country road and feel every hair standing on end all of the sudden, and you know, you just know, that if you look in the rearview mirror, you'll see something in the backseat. Everyone feels it. On some level, everyone craves it. And that was why the crowd lapped all of this up-- not these trite old tricks that anyone with a lick of practice and a battered volume of Stage Magic for Dummies on the shelf could perform, but that subconscious awareness that there was something here that was real.

John Constantine was the conductor, and the entire room was his orchestra. He practically had the whole crowd eating out of the palm of his hand.

This could be bad. This could be very bad indeed if even a fraction of the stories were true. An image dropped into his mind like a lead weight, of Constantine summoning a demon, right there on stage, and Harry grimaced as he remembered the summoning circle on the stage floor.

Hell's bells. That was just what he needed. He would hope the magician wouldn't be insane enough to summon a creature from the pit of hell into a room full of innocent bystanders, but how was he to tell? He frowned, craning his neck as he tried to discern the specific design of that summoning circle, but he just couldn't see it from where he was. He was going to have to get up on stage.

Which meant that he was going to need to get John Constantine's attention.

He crossed his arms over his chest, stretched his legs out, and got his heckle on. “Wow. I am amazed-- nay, flabbergasted, at this unique and never-before-seen display of arcane powers. I mean-- a levitating crystal ball. Whatever cosmic epiphanies could have made themselves known to you and birthed this rare form of artistry?”

John

There was no hesitation as John reached for items to prove the sphere was, indeed floating, eliciting little gasps from his lovely little assistant. His crooked smirk and the swagger in his step never faltered.

This was his element.

He'd stood on a stage performing shitty punk music in front of a crown of demons.

Wooing dimwitted humans who wanted the thrill they'd heard about when people whispered the name John Constantine? That was child's play. Literally.

He'd pulled off harder tricks than this before his balls had fully dropped.

The mocking voice that finally carried over the the noises of his adoring public only widened the grin on his face. Teeth glinting in the bright stage lights as John swivelled his head around in a lazy roll. Magic reached out from him, searching through the pitch dark beyond the glare and he found his critic, because magic reached back.

Oh, wasn't that fun?

"I see we go' a sceptic.", John drawled while the danger of being caught by another practitioner sparked up his spine like lightning. It had been inevitable, with how he'd put himself out there and it felt like the first hot spikes of orgasm after hours of teasing.

His eyes were focused on the figure lounging out there, lit up to his eyes as if glowing from the inside. [4:53 AM] "Is Miss Emma's testimony no' enough of for you, Mister Unimpressed?", he taunted and sauntered back to the edge of the stage.

The audience was holding it's breath.

Was this part of the show?

What would happen next?

Even across the distance of the four rows separating them, John focused his eyes directly on those of his detractor. A magical game of chicken. Who'd turn away first from a Soulgaze?

"And what, pray tell", John goaded, grinning like the wolf about to pounce. "Woul' impress you, 'andsome? Want me to show you some real magick?", the k came out hard, overpronounced. "Come up here and lemme give you the ride of your life."

Harry

Magic, real magic, potent and electric and alive, stretched out from the man on stage, brushing against Harry's senses, teasing, tantalizing. He met that magic with his own, their energies entangling for a brief and unsettlingly intimate instant before he applied a little push of will, the barest hint of power that was part show of dominance, part test, part warning.

A wry smile played at his lips as Constantine turned the full power of his attention to him, which also had the effect of turning the full attention of the audience to him as well. He resisted the urge to shift uncomfortably in his seat or glance sideways at the people staring at him, instead holding himself with an air of deliberately relaxed, self-assured nonchalance.

John Constantine wasn't the only one who could play a crowd.

“No offense intended to the lovely Miss Emma, of course,” he said, giving her a gallant nod and a glance that may have lingered a tiny bit longer on her generous décolletage than was strictly necessary. “But let's just say I've had a bit of... experience in these things myself.” He leaned forward, eyebrows climbing his forehead as his gaze shifted back to the magician. “And I smell something funny. Very distinct odor. Smells like sun-baked horseshit.” The magician met his eyes, the challenge evident in the curl of his grinning lips, in every arrogant, audacious line of his body.

The dare came through loud and clear: are you man enough for this?

It would probably be the better part of valor to look away before the start of a soulgaze. Locking eyes with John Constantine for more than a fraction of a second would undoubtedly come with a boatload of unpleasant sensations, memories, and images, if even a portion of the things he had heard were true. He would never be able to forget them. They would never fade for as long as he lived.

If Constantine's soul was tainted enough, twisted enough, it could potentially drive him mad.

But if he did look away, if he let his eyes drop just a fraction of an inch, played it safe, he would be displaying weakness, cowardice to a potentially deadly enemy. That would come with its own set of risks.

So he locked his eyes with John Constantine's and said, “Fine. Show me yours, mate, and I'll show you mine.”

John

John Constantine knew his reputation. He took pride in it. Fostered it wherever he could. It was, after all, a great part of his little gambit with the Council. The more dangerous they thought he was, ironically, the safer he was.

And now here was this upstart with the pretty eyes and razor sharp cheekbones, with clearly enough magic to be in the Council, to know about the man most of the occult world knew as the Hellblazer, and he wasn't just challenging John's magic. He was risking a Soulgaze with a soul touched by Hell itself.

the first pull of the Gaze startled a laugh out of John and he dropped his gaze. From dark eyes to the curve of a cheek. Grinning, he wagged a pointing forefinger at his challenger.

"You", he chuckled. "I like you. You go' balls, mate."

With a flourish, John turned from the edge of the stage and back to poor, self-conscious Emma.

"I'm afraid we'll 'ave to postpone any further fun, luv.", he announced with an apologetic bow. "I go' a reputation to uphold an' pre'y boy over there needs a schoolin' in who 'e's dealin' with."

Gently, John placed a hand on the crystal sphere and guided it back down to the table before holding out his hand for Emma. When she took it he pulled her against him, eliciting a gasp and a giggle. "Mee' me backstage after the show, luv. I'll show you some real magic.", he muttered against her ear as he danced her back to her chair. Once she was lifted back down and settled again (not without a promising bite of her lip and a stroke of her hand down his chest) John turned towards his opponent once more.

"A'right, 'andsome.", he grinned, the spark of danger that still simmered pleasantly in his belly reflected in bright blue eyes. "Come up 'ere an' I'll show you a good time."

The magic that had connected with his was strong. The innate kind you're born with, the one where it sings under your skin. The one that so easily created a physical spark between one practitioner and another.

One of the reasons very few magicians tended to enjoy being in intimate relationships with each other. John however? Oh, John had learned all the ways that little spark could be fun. So when his pretty detractor stepped up to the edge of the stage, John held out his hand for him.

"Le's give 'em a good show.", John said, just loud enough for the first row to catch the words, changing casual curiosity into nearly tangible, excited expectation.

Then he moved into the man's space, John crouching at the edge of the stage bringing him face to face with his tall, handsome stranger. "Don' think of fuckin' with my spells, mate.", he hissed. "If you know who I am, you know i's a bad idea. If no', coun' yourself lucky an' jus' play along."

#thenewcastleincident #arc: Times Forgotten #All the World's a Stage #Pre Storm Front era #to be continued... #Discord RP archives

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 22nd December 2019

It’s the special Christmas episode – or at least the climax of many – of REVIEWING THE CHARTS, where we discuss the UK Top 40 every week without fail, with a complete disregard for my deteriorating mental state. Let’s start with the top 10 and finish what is essentially season two of this show.

Top 10

I’m sure everyone knows the Christmas #1 by now. I’ll talk more about it later, I actually have a lot to say, it’s British YouTuber LadBaby’s “I Love Sausage Rolls”, debuting at #1 much like he did last year. I’ll elaborate in more detail once we reach the new arrivals section.

Steady at the runner-up spot is “Own It” by Stormzy featuring Burna Boy and Ed Sheeran, sadly pipped at the post even with the release of his sophomore album, Heavy is the Head.

At number-three, actually up one space this week, is “Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi.

It replaces “Don’t Start Now” by Dua Lipa, down one spot to number-four.

We have our first true Christmas song in the top five this year next, as “Last Christmas” by WHAM! is up two spaces to number-five. It isn’t the first time it’s reached the top five, or even its highest placement, but I think they’ll settle for top five this year.

At number-six, we have another debut, the second of three in the top 10, and first of two for Stormzy: “Audacity”, a pre-release single from Heavy is the Head, or “Audacitiy”, as the BBC’s page, in its typical fashion, misspells horribly. It features Headie One, becoming Headie’s highest-peaking song ever, tied with “18HUNNA” featuring Dave, and fifth UK Top 40, as well as second top 10 entry. It’s Stormzy’s 20th UK Top 40 hit and also his ninth entry into the top ten.

At number-seven, we have “ROXANNE” by Arizona Zervas, down two spaces to number-seven.

Also down two spaces, surprisingly, is “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey, despite the release of a new music video. In reality, all of the top 10 has probably gained in performance, and Carey here was a victim of LadBaby and Stormzy.

We have Stormzy’s third and final debut here, “Lessons”, at number-nine, this time solo, which is his 21st UK Top 40 hit and his tenth entry into the top ten.

Finally, at #10, we have a nine-spot crash for “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I, hurt by streaming cuts that dumb UK chart rules implement, but also would have possibly cost LadBaby the Christmas #1, and at least his song is vaguely Christmassy, unlike “Dance Monkey”, which would have otherwise spent a consecutive twelfth week at #1 hadn’t it jumped down to #10.

Climbers

We have one non-Christmas climber this week, and it’s “Falling” by Trevor Daniel up nine spaces to #26.

Fallers

We don’t actually have many of these, either, though, but we do have a handful at the tail-end of the chart: “Heartless” by the Weeknd is definitely in freefall, down 13 spaces to #35, whilst “Don’t Rush” by Young T & Bugsey with Headie One curiously goes down seven spaces to #37 after going up seven spaces last week, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi crashes down 11 positions to #38, and “Netflix & Chill” by Fredo collapses down 12 spots to #40.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

As always with these Christmas weeks, we have quite a few drop-outs, yet very little returning entries. Streaming cuts have dragged out “Memories” by Maroon 5 out from #10 (Thank God), and brought out two other garbage top 20 hits with it: “South of the Border” by Ed Sheeran featuring Camila Cabello and Cardi B from #13, and “Lose Control” by MEDUZA, Goodboys and Becky Hill from #18. Sadly, a pretty fantastic top 20 hit, Lizzo’s “Good as Hell” featuring Ariana Grande, is out too from #20. Also out from middling positions last week, #37 and #38 respectively, are “Down Like That” by KSI featuring Lil Baby, Rick Ross and S-X, and “Into the Unknown” by Idina Menzel and AURORA, from the Frozen II soundtrack. Oh, yeah, and “Professor X” by Dave is out from #40.

In terms of returning entries, we only have one revolving around pretty depressing circumstances. The early death of 21-year-old emo-rapper Juice WRLD, one that we have seen a lot on this show, has propelled his song “Lucid Dreams” back to #27. For what it’s worth, the song has grown on me a lot since its release, and I’ve said my peace on the matter on Twitter. Rest in peace, Jared Higgins.

There is one returning entry and one drop-out that I’ve missed, but we’ll talk about them later.

IT’S CHIRSTMAS INNIT

First of all, the non-movers, climbers and fallers: If “River” by Ellie Goulding counts, it’s down three spots to #11, but otherwise... “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl is at #14, “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens is at #16, “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid is up two to #17, “Step into Christmas” by Elton John is up six to #19, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé is down one spot to #24, “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis is up four to #25, “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande is up three to #28, “I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday” by Wizzard is up five to #29, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade is up five to #31, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee is at #32 and “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson is up six to #33.

We have one Christmassy returning entry, and that is the festive albeit creepy “Santa’s Coming for Us” by Sia back at #36. Combined with the Christmassy new arrival and the songs within the top 10, that means we have within 15 to 17 holiday songs on the “Christmas chart” (More on that later). So, basically, we’re 50% Christmas here on the UK Top 40... arguably, disputably, whatever. Here are the Album Bomb(s)?

ALBUM BOMB(S)?: Heavy is the Head by Stormzy and Fine Line by Harry Styles

This is a pretty awkward album bomb as I’ve already covered most things about Stormzy in the Top 10 section and it’s really disputable if Harry Styles had an album bomb but he had one debut and one re-entry as well as a faller, all from the same album, so I’m counting that as an album bomb. Rod Stewart, however, the damned fool, didn’t get an album bomb however he got the Christmas #1 on the albums chart, trumping both UK rapper and songwriter Stormzy at #2, and former One Direction member and current rockstar Harry Styles at #3.

I haven’t heard Heavy is the Head but I’m excited to check it out. I’m weary of its length, but some of the features seem intriguing. Its impact on this chart is weakened by both UK chart rules only allowing for three songs and the fact that, well, it’s Christmas, technically. That would also explain why Harry Styles’ “Lights Up” dropped out from #33 this week, as it was the single that performed the least, whilst “Watermelon Sugar” is back at #18 and “Adore You” has dropped off one spot from its debut, landing at #12 on this chart. Before we even get to exciting new music from Stormzy, let’s cover some weaksauce garbage from Harry Styles.

#39 – “Falling” – Harry Styles

Produced by Kid Harpoon and Tyler Johnson – Peaked at #62 in the US

Aw, do I have to? Well, I’ve already said how much I disliked Styles’ sophomore record and why, back on last episode (And the last paragraph) actually, so I don’t need to bring it up again. “Falling” is Styles’ fifth UK Top 40 hit, and the third best-performing song from the album; three is all allowed from one album on the UK Top 40. Styles had an actual album bomb on the Hot 100, and this one charted decently high there too. Also, fun fact: since Trevor Daniel is still here, this marks the first time in forever that two identically-named songs with entirely different lyrics and content (I.e., aren’t covers) have charted simultaneously. Somehow, and I dread to think, the Trevor Daniel song may be better. The pianos here are reverb-heavy and saturated so much to the point where I geta feeling of drab, moist dread, which is represented in the production overall, especially when Harry Styles belts and his vocals clip pretty heavily in the mix here. The lyrics are specific and do resonate to some extent, especially the self-referential and dare I say meta second verse, and I can’t exactly say Styles’ delivery is unconvincing, despite it reminding me too much of Lewis Capaldi than it probably should – you’re a much better singer than him or this, Harry. If the production wasn’t so shoddy and it wasn’t four plodding minutes, perhaps this gross, distorted excerpt of a power ballad wouldn’t be so excruciating, but alas, here we are. Good effort, I suppose.

#9 – “Lessons” – Stormzy

Produced by Ed Thomas

I have no idea what to expect. It’s the penultimate track on the album and it’s produced by some guy I don’t know. I haven’t been this clueless about a song before hearing it on this show in months, but it’s actually pretty high here because of how it touches upon Stormzy’s personal life, specifically his relationship with television presenter Maya Jama... and I really want to like this. The song is honest and soulful, with Stormzy admitting his faults in the relationship multiple times, and I enjoy the theme of childhood that he toys around with in the verses, but it’s really vague to exactly how he “disrespected” her, and I’m not asking for a vent that details his entire relationship with Jama but it feels somewhat insincere if the closest you get to a specific memory is either having candles lit up, which is overwhelmingly common, and pacing around the kitchen after a fight, “like this s**t is foul”. Some of these rhymes are also pretty painful. Rhyming “Maya” with “Maya”, and then, “fire” with “desire”? Come on, man, you’re better than that, and there is a lack of internal rhymes or even a comprehensive flow to the whole thing. I do like the vintage R&B beat with some very 90s keys sprinkled through the fake finger-snaps, and the blocky percussion is pretty smooth, albeit too stiff to make the chorus work at all, as it’s just really odd, aimless, multi-tracked rambling, with really half-hearted singing vocals from Stormzy. I don’t know, I really want to like this, but the content is overly vague, the production is dull and uninteresting, and the performance is just the same, as he sounds like he hasn’t slept in days. Maybe that’s the point? Probably, but it doesn’t make this song any more endearing. Sorry, I really wanted to like this, so a half-decent single here sounds like the biggest disappointment, but it’s just passable at best, really.

#6 – “Audacity” – Stormzy featuring Headie One

Produced by Fraser T. Smith

This is the banger of the record, with an up-and-coming UK drill rapper, that would burst onto the chart with a wham... whilst also being right next to WHAM!, but that’s a coincidence. T. Smith is on the boards, Stormzy and Headie One are on the mic, and they sound hungry. Any time Stormzy starts off a track with that trailing “It’s like...” ad-lib, I know it’s going to be ferocious, and this is what this track is. Over looming 808 bass and crawling synths, Stormzy is losing his breath, rasping through his bars because of his insistency to do an angered one-take, like a madman, and it sounds angry and really violent. I’m genuinely kind of scared, it kind of works like Bobby Schmurda’s “Hot Boy” because its purpose is to paint such a vivid picture of gang violence that it gives you goosebumps. Stormzy is talking about inexperienced rappers dissing him... and in the first verse, he goes into detail about why he wants to kill this man, in an oddly calm demeanour before he starts losing it once he starts talking about how he’s going to “skeng-fry his dome”, even accepting the gunsmoke (Both literally and figuratively) that this person tries to use to intimidate Stormzy as just weed smoke, which sounds a lot more savage than I made it sound. Headie One is more melodic on this mix of nasty grime synths and UK drill bass beats, but his more casual delivery really makes the pretty funny bars somewhat intoxicating, especially when he says, “Knowledge is power, ask Gandhi”, which is just hilariously nonsensical... but it’s still not great. It runs way too long at four minutes, and feels pretty repetitive and like a drone by the end, especially due to lack of a true climax. Also the beat just fades out and leaves Stormzy’s isolated vocal, which is abruptly cut off by the end too, so that just sounds awkward. I wish I liked this more, but it sounds more like a weak “Wiley Flow” than the anthemic “Vossi Bop” or the pounding “Sounds of the Skeng”. I still like it, though, it’s just a fair bit duller than Stormzy’s usual offerings in this trap banger lane. Speaking of that, I listened to “Big Michael” out of curiosity and that was freaking amazing, so why didn’t that chart instead of these comparatively mediocre offerings?

One week, it’s “Blinded by Your Grace” / Next week, it’s bang you in your face!

NEW ARRIVALS

#34 –“Happy Christmas (War is Over)” – John Legend

I have no production or chart data for this one, because, guess what? It’s another Christmassy cover song released by an aging and increasingly irrelevant pop star exclusively on platforms that provide more sales and hence boost its false chart placement. I’m glad this is only a holiday thing because it’d drive me up the wall if this was done often. Legend released his Christmas album in 2018, called A Legendary Christmas, and it included many covers, including the infamous “woke” “Baby it’s Cold Outside” rendition with Kelly Clarkson on the 2019 deluxe edition. Of course, this song’s not on said deluxe edition for whatever reason... he really couldn’t just cover a nice old Christmas song, he had to do the controversial songs, huh? The whole album is really disposable garbage filled with novelty and commercialised merriment. I used to really like this guy but he is far beyond receiving my best wishes at this point in his career. Uh, the original song is a hot mess as well. Let’s just get to the meat and potatoes, no pun intended.

#1 – “I Love Sausage Rolls” – LadBaby

Produced by LadBaby

No, not DaBaby. LadBaby. Okay, so, first of all, this potentially isn’t the true “Christmas #1”, as after all, this chart was released before Christmas Day and doesn’t count sales that were made on December 25th, although the press seems to have accepted this as the Christmas #1, and have highly publicised it as such, so I’m allowing it, even though I guess you could dispute that. Second of all, LadBaby is a YouTuber who makes comedy videos or vlogs or something? I don’t know, I don’t pay attention. The video for this that they showed on Top of the Pops (Yes, this was aired on Top of the Pops) had his family in, all wearing sausage roll outfits, so maybe he’s a family vlogger? Speaking of those outfits, the same family is featured on the cover, which is a parody of the famous Abbey Road album cover by the Beatles. Not only is that not a Christmas album but it equally doesn’t work because this is a parody of a Joan Jett song, “I Love Rock and Roll”. Finally, LadBaby got to the top before with “We Built This City” in 2018, a parody of the Starship song with the exact same punchline as this one. Bottom line, this is just a novelty song with a dumb punchline and pretty terrible production, because as with all YouTube songs, it sounds cheap and very royalty-free. These guys can’t sing, especially not LadBaby himself, but it really doesn’t matter because we’re not supposed to actually listen to this. We’re supposed to listen once and have a chuckle, and move on, but sadly, this isn’t even funny enough for me to snigger. I’m not a fan, and if Tones and I’s song hadn’t crashed as hard as it did thanks to dumb UK chart rules, LadBaby would be even less liable to stick the landing next year, and I really hope he doesn’t.

Conclusion

On principle, I feel like giving a tied Worst of the Week to John Legend for his annoying exclusivity and really garbage album that “Happy Christmas (War is Over)” is connected to, alongside LadBaby, for hitting the #1 spot with a cheap novelty song in “I Love Sausage Rolls”, which is a joke he’s done before, instead of Stormzy or, you know, an actual Christmas song. In reality, I haven’t heard the John Legend song and I don’t even want to, and the LadBaby song isn’t really worth getting angry about. The Best of the Week is just as hard to pick due to the sheer lack of quality on display here, but I’ll give it to Stormzy and Headie One for “Audacity”, I guess.

I hope you guys enjoyed this second season of REVIEWING THE CHARTS – I know it was a rocky one, but we got there in the end. I can’t really say happy holidays because I’m a day or two late from Christmas but I’ll definitely say thank you for reading this past year. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week – but that’ll be next season, and possibly next year.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

[trulymadlysydney]

Birthday Girl (submission)

On your birthday you wake up to tons of notifications on twitter and Instagram, from family and friends but also fans wishing you a happy birthday and other well wishes. Your heart is warmed by the kind messages from people all over, you think that maybe a little bit later you’ll do a quick Instagram live stream to thank everyone. 

It’s tradition that whoever’s birthday it is gets to pick what’s on the menu for breakfast (or in this case, brunch, since it was so hard to get out of his cozy grasp this morning). You kindly ask Harry for his famous pancakes, but instead of bananas (like he always requests), could he pretty please throw some chocolate chips in, and maybe some whipped cream and strawberries on top, and even though you know he’ll say that “it’s too much sugar for this early in the mornin’ love, but since it’s your birthday…” he’ll reluctantly toss the chocolate chips in anyway. 

As he’s getting everything ready, he hands you your coffee with a kiss to the forehead, telling you to go cuddle up on the couch and he’ll call you when everything is ready. 

As you shuffle over to your shared living room, with your favorite fuzzy blanket wrapped loosely around you and your favorite morning playlist softly drifting through from the kitchen, you get comfortable in your self-designated corner of couch. You take a sip of your coffee and open up Instagram, ready to make your short little live message for the fans. 

"Good morning friends! Or should I say afternoon since it’s almost 11 here,” you giggle. “I woke up to so many lovely messages and I just wanted to say a big thank you to all of you for helping to make my birthday so special already.” 

Immediately you see lots of followers have tuned into your live stream, with messages starting to appear at the bottom, and a rising number of viewers showing at the top. You answer a few of the messages popping up at the bottom, as Ed Sheeran’s "Perfect” starts to echo through the speakers in the kitchen, and you smile thinking that it’s one of your favorite love songs. 

“It’s pretty cold here today, so I think I might say in my blanket for as long as possible. Maybe find a good movie to watch while I eat my birthday pancakes." 

As you continue to talk to your phone, your ears perk up to Harry’s voice starting to sing along with the song and you start to panic ever so slightly. Whenever Harry sings, your heart always slightly flutters, but this time it’s for a totally different reason.

Of course everyone knows that you are with Harry, you have been for years, but you purposely make it a point to not make a show of it. You both like to keep your private lives private, something that is hard to do when he has the job and life that he does. The last thing you want is to cause any drama with his fans, to have anyone thinking you are showing him off, or invading his privacy, especially on your birthday of all days. So with a frozen smile, an ever so slight wide eyed expression, and multiple messages from quick fans who already picked up on the fact that it was indeed Harry’s voice in the background, you try to gently get up from your seat the sneak to the next room, hoping that it will all go unnoticed. The video is in fact live, it’s not as though you can delete it later or suddenly end the video just as his voice appears without causing suspicion.

As you start to make your move, he hollers, "Oi you don’ like my singin’? Get paid to do this ya know, s’not very nice to jus’ ignore my performance.” He is standing across the room from you, watching you with his infamous smirk, his arms folded across his chest. That’s when he sees the way in which your holding your phone and he asks, “whatcha doin’ love?“ 

Panic runs through you as you swallow and answer, “Umm, doing a live video thanking everyone for the birthday wishes.” He knows you better than anyone, so you hope that the look in your eyes will tell him what he needs to know. 

But instead, he makes his way to you and plops himself down on your lap, trapping and slightly crushing you with his weight, not that you would normally mind, but under this particular circumstance, you begin to worry. He keeps his gaze on your phone as his face appears in front of yours.

He’s not one for social media, using it minimally for both his personal and professional life, never wanting to be in his friends’ snapchats or have his personal pictures being posted too often. In your two years of being with each other, you’ve posted maybe two or three photos of the two of you together, only with his permission to share these personal moments. So for him to willingly put himself in this live stream, you’re confused and a bit anxious. Maybe he doesn’t understand what this is? Maybe he thinks you can not post it at all, or even delete it later? 

He continues to stare at the screen, watching the mass influx of messages popping up at the bottom, and the dramatic increase of viewers at the top. He seems unphased. 

"Haz it’s live,” you gently whisper with a smile, almost hiding yourself behind his large frame. “Can’t delete it.”

“S'why it’s called a live stream, innit?” He quips. 

You’re shocked to say the least, that he would insert himself like this, that he would knowingly make his private life public like this, but you suppose there’s no more use in questioning now, not with the camera still pointed on both of your faces. 

“Wha’s tha’?” He asks, pointing to the bottom right of the screen.

“Hearts.” You murmur, your chin resting nervously on his right shoulder. 

“ ’N what’re the numbers?“ 

"How many people are watching.”

“Hmm,” he hums, “Wha’s all this?” He points again, this time to the bottom left. 

“People commenting, saying hello. Asking questions.“ 

He pauses for just a moment, continuing to let his eyes wander over the screen, smiling occasionally and then furrowing his brow. 

"Why’s everyone sayin’ happy birthday? Mine’s not fo’ two more months.” He waits a moment before turning and giving you a cheeky smile.

You roll your eyes at him but can’t help but laugh. “S'my birthday, Harry” and you give him a pout. 

He just laughs at you, and turns back at the screen. He gives the screen one last furrowed look, then begins to stick his tongue out at the screen. Repetitively. He raises his eyebrows and continuously sticks his tongue out, and you are extremely confused as to what is going on.

“Harry, what are you doing?“ You giggle softly. It’s hard to give a true laugh with his heavy weight still on top of you. 

"Wanna be the dog,” he states matter of factly, sticking his tongue out once more. “Where’s th’ dog?“

You laugh again, this time a little more loudly, “That’s snap chat love, this is Instagram. It doesn’t have all those filters." 

He frowns, looking like a little boy who didn’t get his way, and you just want to give him kisses all over because he looks so damn cute, and if your phone wasn’t in front of both of your faces, with thousands of fans tuning in, you would. 

Your tummy gives a soft growl, bringing you back to reality and you are reminded of the breakfast (well, brunch) that awaits you. 

You let out a soft sigh, "Pancakes done?” You ask, as you rest you head against him, watching him watch the screen. 

“Oh shit!!” He all but yells. He pops up from his seat on your lap, slightly knocking you over in the process. Your phone jostles and you’re thankful he didn’t knock over the coffee mug that is sitting on the coffee table before you. 

You stay seated, laughing loudly, as you watch him rush into the kitchen, grabbing the spatula to check the damage, but you just know these ones must be burned. You turn you attention back to your phone, pursing your lips as you try to contain the love and joy and utter bliss you feel. He may be a tall, lanky, soft, silly dork, but he’s yours and you love him with your whole heart. 

You give your phone once last playful eye roll, and whisper so he can’t hear you, “And he brags he used to be a baker.”

“Oi! I hear’ tha’! Jus’ cause it’s your birthday doesn’ mean you get t’ be mean t’ me!” 

You glance down at the comments one last time, seeing all the loving remarks from his fans, but the ones that stick out to you the most are the ones that tell you something that you already knew. You smile, “Yeah, ‘m one lucky girl,” you think to yourself. 

With one last thank you and goodbye to the live stream, you ditch you phone and your blanket on the couch, and make you way to the kitchen where Harry has already put new batter into the pan. You smile as you snake your arms around him, nestling your face and nose into his back, giving him a small squeeze.

“New one’s ‘ill be ready in a mo’,” he murmurs, slowly swaying back and forth with you to the new song playing. 

You hum in response, forgetting all about the pancakes, just wanting to be in this moment with him, to feel his warmth, to smell his smell, and to remember that you are indeed one lucky (birthday) girl. 

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THIS is one of the cutest submissions I have EVER gotten holy shIT I'm so in love 😍