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#can't deny the lyrics still
extreme-neutral · 9 months
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So this is wonderland Where all your dreams come true You gotta go get yours Before they come get you
So this is wonderland Where nothing's as it seems They toss you up and smash you down to smithereens
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(WONDERLAND by Neoni)
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ride-a-dromedary · 7 months
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Again I know it's supposed to be a haha reference to the turns into a bear when he's too aroused thing, but in again refusing to brush just over the surface of this character: "I must be careful or I'll lose run of myself again. An Archdruid should show *some* restraint." comes across to me as more melancholy than perhaps intended when a. You take it into consideration that several lines imply that Halsin has issues with self control and self servitude, and presenting an "acceptable" version of himself as an outwards facing authority figure, to the point where he brushes over his own feelings, or pushes things that he wants down in the effort to reflect better what others want from him.
And b. Remember that Halsin was essentially just an apprentice when he was forcibly situationally promoted to Archdruid - he wasn't taught *how* to be an Archdruid or trained for it, or mentored; he was thrust into it because they didn't have any other choice. But they needed someone, so he stepped up. Halsin has spent the last century studying and learning things on the fly or through trial and error, and in a position of leadership like that, he is aware that every failure to uphold that mask *counts* and others *are* very much affected. How many times has he muttered that same mantra? Or heard it thrown around? An Archdruid not having control over their own magic is a big deal. Even when he is no longer Archdruid, he still grumbles it to himself. He's been at it over a century and he *still* doesn't feel like he's gotten it right. Even when he is in a place of progression, of trying to gain hold of himself again, those wisps of failure and self doubt still creep into everything. And that's sad to me.
#BG3 Musing#Halsin Posting#haha funny line in response to saucy line that man is about to go feral ooh se- HEY TRAUMA#it's like a med student being promoted to the head of emergency#or an admin assistant suddenly being put in a ceo role#like i know it's a meme scene!! but halsin sounds *humilated* when he accidentally wildshapes during his romance scene#he sounds flustered and embarrassed and is so quickly launching off excuses with a tone that indicates *he thinks it's over*#like he fucked up he fucked this up just when he was *starting* to come into himself again and it never stops#i keep thinking of that one lyric from big thief 'i can't find surrender/and i can't keep control'#and again i'm reading too deep into it but halsin's struggle with failure really is embedded here you just have to...like listen to him#Even when he *says* that there's little point in denying oneself#he does it literally all the time - he did it for a *century*#and i'm not saying he doesn't have fun or not enjoy things but he cuts himself off so early at the root#or buries himself so thoroughly in a self indulgence until it wrecks him and neither of these things are healthy#note that he says as long as others aren't affected - he doesn't say as long as i'm not affecting *myself*#anyway i'm unwell#maybe i was never meant to be archdruid - you weren't! you were meant to protect nature's spirit and roam with the wilds#and yet he still did the best he could and people *admire* him and followed him but he may never come to see it that way#you ruined a perfectly good wood elf - look it's got trauma and anxiety (and larian turned him into a meme and i won't forgive them)
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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I WNA WRITE AAAAA
#🌙.rambles#cheesy romantic stories !!!!!!#BUT THE THING IS#i constantly deny n hide that kinda stuff#it's too embarrassing T_T but maybe i'm a bit of a tsun abt it#normally i'd just be shameless as i've always been ( esp as a kid )#BUT. I DON'T WANT ANY OF IRLS TO SEE#i use this @ on a lot of places n several irls do know my tumblr user 😭😭#i will never ever want this to be even perceived by reality in any way whatsoever#but i've always just been a dreamer like this TvT#maybe hiding it is what's been tearing me apart. even if i'm cringe then i want to at least be myself and free.#it's just rlly embarrassing. i can't rlly accept n write it properly bcs#the cut between reality/fiction for me is very defined. i'd hate if there'd be an intruder that's mess things up for /me/#n then for my original stories i have a lot of feelings and thoughts in my head but they're not really coherent n IDK HOW TO WRITE#little scenarios. i can't make sense of specific words but. THE EMOTION IN THEM. I FEEL IT BUT I CAN'T WRITE#it's like smth you think of right when you wake up (before consciousness returns properly) &#right before you sleep and dream of smth. that kind of clouded feel#a song with just melody but it has traces of lyrics you know but can't remember.#a worn out book you've somehow had all your life ( your mind your thoughts ) with the words slowly fading away in time#the stars fading away as night turns into day. but they're still there#i want to be myself i want to love myself properly and accept myself#it hurts when your own thoughts contradict each other and you're not even sure what it means to be yourself#but the answers are all in me. i still believe in myself. i'm proud of what i have achieved. that will never change#alphinaud kin !!! he's my baby boy for a reason#but urgh i rlly just want to do wtvr i want but i'm afraid of how it might affect others.#what if i unintentionally manage to hurt someone or make them anxious? T_T so then i want to hide#it's a cycle bcs i want and can do what's best for myself but anxiety gets in the way. i don't want to be a burden.#n then there's really just a mental block in my head regarding productivity efficiency n my ambitions. n my sleep sches is also fucked up#i don't 'want' others to be involved w stuff abt me. the songs i listen to. the words i write#or perhaps i'm still afraid of the vulnerability that comes with it. that level of honesty and transparency and authenticity is v idealistic
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thefaestolemyname · 1 year
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I was lookin for new music on Spotify and checked in on the Top 50 - Canada cuz I realized I hadn't checked it in a long time and
Why is the #1 song about killing your ex AND his girlfriend because of the "if I can't have you no-one can" feeling?
"I'm in the basement planning home invasion" girl??
There are weird lyrics in Metal too, I know, Gloryhammer's "fly high into space to charge my laser powered goblin smasher" is proof enough of that, but a song just about "I might kil my ex, I still love him though, rather be in jail than alone"? That caught me off guard.
Girl you need to get your tush out of the studio and into a church cuz if the song says the therapist isn't working maybe the next man you need is Jesus
Or get a hobby. Gosh just start looking into the circulatory systems of invertebrates or something.
All that planning, plan a picnic bro. Plan a D&D one-shot.
I don't know I just did Not expect that.
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1-800-hwahui · 1 year
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driving me crazy
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member | bandmate!seungcheol x reader genre | smut, enemies to lovers word count | 1.3k warnings | reader has a vagina and breasts, unprotected sex (reader is on the pill but be safe irl or i'll hit you), name calling (slut, whore, cumslut, cumdump), cumshot, creampie, masturbation (m), mentions of degredation & humiliation, one mention of spanking. this is pure rough hate sex but it gets really soft at the end notes | so i was writing this in @duhnova's inbox to attack her and all of a sudden i checked how much i'd written and it was fuckin,, over a thousand words?? this isn't really a "fic" per se, it's more like a headcanon (there's no dialogue) but i thought it was long enough to share. i don't know where this came from or how it happened but- enjoy! - june 💒
you and seungcheol are in a band together– maybe he's the guitarist and you sing, and since the day the band formed you've had it out for each other. neither of you are willing to give in to what the other wants, even when you both know you're in the wrong. he wants the chords a certain way? nope, because you need them this way so you can sing them. you want to write your own lyrics for this one song? nope, he criticizes every word.
and the tension just keeps growing and growing until one day it boils over and you find yourself underneath him, back pressed against the sofa in his garage after band practice when everyone else has gone and he's fucking you like you're the last person on earth. pushing his lips to your neck to call you filthy names, things he's never wanted to say to your face before; but something about this time, with his cock splitting you open and you fighting to hold back tears of pleasure because like hell you'd let him get that reaction out of you, he can't help but want to tell you how much of a slut you are. you hate each other, yet you'd let him fuck you like this, hm?
and you'd die before you admit it to him or to yourself, but just this one time with him will completely ruin you for anyone else's cock. no matter how hard you try to forget him and how many shitty tinder hookups you suffer through, he's the only thing on your mind every single time you cum. and so finally you give in, and you come back to him, practically begging him to fuck you again, and he'd be more than happy to oblige because you're the only thing that's been on his mind every time he jerks off after you leave practice, his cock throbbing in his fist and milky white cum splattered all over his hands as he realizes he just moaned your name out loud. so at the end of the day maybe you do still hate each other, but damn if you aren't the best sex each other's had.
so despite how much you supposedly hate each other, now that neither of you can deny how insanely horny you are for each other you're fucking all the time. and i mean all the time. of course, it starts out as only after practice in his garage, and occasionally in his car when practices are at your other bandmates' houses. but one day a couple weeks later when he's fucking you in his bed, on his kitchen counter, even in his front doorway because you're both so impatient you can barely keep your hands off one another long enough for him to shut the door, that's when you realize how fucked you are—metaphorically and literally.
if your friends are shocked at the fact that seungcheol, your literal worst enemy, is suddenly driving you home every night, they don't mention it. there's no way they don't know by now, but you won't hear a peep out of them, because in practices, you're actually… managing to get along with cheol now. it turns out that having the roughest, nastiest (aka best) sex of your life with the man you hate most is doing wonders to relieve the tension between you two; so much so that the only arguments you can muster with him are about how the color of his new guitar looks ugly compared to his old one, or that your singing would be better if you actually looked at the microphone for once instead of looking at him.
by day you're cooperating enough to make music together for once, and by night you're getting fucked like the cumslut you are, cheol slapping your ass and roughly handling your hips into place so he can push into you even deeper so you can feel him completely filling you.
and after a while, you can't even remember the reason why you hated him in the first place. because maybe the tension between you two was just sexual tension all along. getting dicked down like a whore makes you happy, and having his own personal cumdump makes him happy. it's a win for everybody.
one day he's fucking you in his bed after a really successful practice and it's... unusually soft. he's not calling you filthy names or humiliating you for how hard you came from just his fingers. he's holding you so close, praising you for how well you always take his thick cock, squeezing around him so perfectly, so warm and wet and tight just for him and him alone. he's not calling you "his hole" or telling you to crawl across the floor and beg him to allow you to suck his cock. his words come out no more a soft growl by your ear, low moans scattered in between the praises.
and that's the first time you let him cum inside you. you're on the pill and you've both been tested so there's been no reason for him to use a condom any of the times you've been together, but he's always pulled out to cum on your back, your pussy, your stomach, or his favorite place– your face. 
but this time when you feel his thrusts start to stutter and he begins to let go of you to slip out of your aching cunt, you just wrap your legs around his waist and pull him back in, whimpering and pleading for him to stay inside, to cum inside, to fill you up and claim you as his. and he can barely stop himself from cumming on the spot as he stumbles into the hardest orgasm of his entire life, spurting rope after rope of liquid into you.
and afterwards, when you're both laying there panting, stuck in a post-orgasmic haze as it begins to dawn on you what just happened, he does something that makes you doubt any of this was even real in the first place, that it was all a dream and you haven't actually been having sex with him on almost a daily basis for nearly the last month. because the seungcheol you know, the seungcheol you hate, would never say this. the seungcheol you used to hate would never own up to anything, would argue about anything and anything and refuse to apologize for his words, no matter how hurtful.
at least, that's what you thought. because now you've realized you never actually hated him, not even before you two were involved like this. you would argue for the sake of arguing just like he would, because that's all you knew how to do around him.
you didn't yet know this side of him; not just the side that makes you cum over and over and refuses to stop until you have to pry his mouth off of your pussy, but the side of him that always gives you rides home, even when the night doesn't end in sex. the side of him that lets you use his shower to clean up afterwards and always leaves a stack of fresh towels out for you that you can tell he warmed up in the dryer. the side of him that, even the first time when you hated each others' guts, asked if it was okay to do something before he did it, because even though he can't stand you, he doesn't want to hurt you intentionally.
so you're laying there on his bed, and he holds you tighter, burying his face into the crook of your neck, and he sighs. and for the first time ever, he says,
"i'm sorry."
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matchingbatbites · 1 year
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Eddie kisses Steve for the first time to Whitney Houston.
It's the summer of '87, and he's been dragged along to celebrate Robin's birthday with her, Steve, and Nancy, and the four find themselves at at gay club in Indy where the music is always loud and the people are usually friendly.
They’ve been here for a couple of hours, and Eddie has been at the bar for about ten minutes, taking a breather from the chaos of the dance floor. 
He’s just debating hopping back into the fray when a familiar intro starts, and he immediately searches out Steve in the crowd. Eddie may be a metalhead, but even he can't deny the talent that Whitney Houston has, and I Wanna Dance With Somebody is a god-tier song.
(Ignoring the fact that it quickly became Steve's favorite song, the younger cranking the volume and belting the lyrics any time it comes on the radio, something that makes Eddie melt every time he gets to witness it.) 
Eddie finds him in the crowd, along with Robin and Nancy, the three pressed close as they get visibly excited by the familiar music. He can see them singing along to the first verse, the crowd in the building drowning them out, and when the chorus hits, Steve and Robin pull Nancy into dancing with them.
Somehow Steve's eyes catch his, hazel meeting brown from across the dance floor, and Steve is beaming as he sings along, and fuck Eddie is so smitten. He watches Steve dance with the girls, keeps expecting his attention to turn back to them at some point, but his focus stays on Eddie.
The song moves into the second verse and Eddie's heart jumps into his throat when Steve points at him before making a ‘come here’ motion while still mouthing along with the lyrics. 
Eddie is halfway across the floor before he even realizes he's moved. He's making a beeline to Steve, eyes never wavering from the other as he slips through the mass of bodies, and the grin doesn’t budge from Steve's face, only gets bigger the closer Eddie gets.
As soon as he's in reach, Steve is grabbing his arm, pulling him closer as he yells a "Dance with me?" over the music. And Eddie is no dancer, but he says yes just to keep the smile on Steve's face, and god, is it blinding.
He lets Steve take the lead, mostly just enjoying the closeness, the casual touch, but he still finds himself singing along by the time the chorus rolls into the bridge.
And then there’s that line again, the one that had him speeding through the crowd, the one Steve sang, sings again, while looking directly at Eddie.
I need a man who'll take a chance
On a love that burns hot enough to last
And Eddie finally gets it. He slides a hand to the back of Steve’s neck, fingers tangling in soft hair as he tugs him forward, lips pressing to Steve’s ear so he can be heard over the music.
“I wanna take a chance, Stevie. Will you let me?”
He barely gets a glance at Steve’s shocked face before that blinding smile is back and Steve is nodding. 
“Fucking please, Eddie.” 
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naneun-no · 3 months
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From my drafts so it’s late but:
Today’s delulu thought is that Standing Next to You has too many lyrical coincidences to not be about Jimin.
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🫣 I SAID IT WAS DELUSIONAL OKAY
You are free to disagree. You probably should 🤣
I mean we know it wasn’t written by Jung Kook but obviously the version he recorded was arranged with and for JK, and “leave your body golden” can’t be a coincidence right? Like it’s the whole ass album name, plus a word that carries connotations of JK himself, which the ppl who worked with him on Seven must have known.
So if that wasn’t a coincidence… then what about:
1. “How we left and right is something we control” — a callback to both Left and Right by CP feat JK, but also a nod to Butter, a massive BTS hit and a song that he performs alongside his boyfie bestie JM.
2. “When it’s deep like DNA, something they can’t take away” — a callback to another massive BTS hit, interesting. And *delulu warning* also reminds me of JM and JK’s extreme similarities that they themselves have referred to before?? They’re wired the same, they have the same sense of humor, they live and breathe for the same shit and even though they have some very key differences, they really do seem like twin flames (even if you just see it as platonic). They are similar in ways that seem braided into the fibers of their being. Like, in their DNA 🧬 some may say. *delulu warning #2* I’m also reminded of Jimin’s Letter lyrics: “After all this time has passed will we still be the same? Just like we were when we first met.”
Also, “something they can’t take away” is an interesting turn of phrase… more on that later.
3. Okay the real meaty part:
Screaming I’ll testify that we'll survive the test of time, they can't deny our love. They can't divide us, we'll survive the test of time I promise I'll be right here
[I seriously can’t believe how closeted-couple-coded this song is]
First off, again with the Letter lyrics mirrored here with the “test of time.” Then it’s got all this drama about being ripped apart and how it won’t happen and how they’ll be next to each other no matter what and that they have “something they can’t take away.”
Not only does all that line up with other Letter lyrics, but it is so goddamn dramatic and for what?
Be for real, what straight couple in this day and age would have this much working against them?? The only possible explanations are: 1) within the fantasy world of a song I suppose this could be some sort of Romeo and Juliet/West Side Story motif, and to be fair the music video did have a kind of rival gang/crime family look to it? Sort of? With the men fighting below the stage? Idk. Or it could be 2) the fact that idols do in fact often have to hide even their straight relationships, which is wild to me. But I know it’s a thing, so. I suppose there’s that. JK doesn’t seem the type though honestly. I think he’d be even more open about it than V.
On the other hand, the lyrics seem SO fit for a couple who are a) queer, b) closeted, c) currently in/about to be in a legislatively homophobic military and country (am I saying that right? Lol) and d) internationally famous pop idols in the SAME BAND who are both widely regarded as heterosexual sex symbols and would be shunned by many people in their homeland AND internationally if their queerness were to be revealed, much less if they were truly an item and THAT news broke.
Whew. That was a lot but like… that would be a real example of a relationship that would be VERY threatened by outside forces plotting against them and trying to separate them. Not JK and a hot blonde model, not him and a Korean actress, not basically any other scenario but a queer relationship.
Idk I know he didn’t write it but like ??? What the hell is that theme? I’m dying to get inside the mind of the people who DID write it, because are they or are they jikookers at this point like?!
4. Just for fun I’ll also point out the “leave your body golden like the sun and moon” 😏 like. Okay. At this point the songwriters are watching Jikook compilations, drooling over @slaaverin edits like convince me they’re not. CONVINCE ME.
5. “Deeper than the rain”?! “The pain”?! Alright I’m not even serious at this point but ??? Rainy day fight 🌧️?!?! 🤣🤣
6. “Standing next to you” oh you mean like… for 18 months? In a companion enlistment program? Like that?
Alright alright I’m done but you get my point. What even is this song if not an anthem of jikookery?! It’s more on-the-nose than Letter, more sneaky than Still With You. It wasn’t written by JK but at this point I’m calling that the songwriters are as delulu as me.
Hope y’all are well. If you made it to the end of this thank you for donning your tinfoil hat with me and I hope you at least got a giggle.
✌️
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nwjws · 6 months
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while you were sleeping - pjs
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; PAIRING - jay x gn!reader
; SYNOPSIS - in which you’ve had the same album on repeat, unable to get it out of your mind. just like how jay, your roommate, can’t seem to get you out of his.
; WC - 1.4k (minus the lyrics)
; TAGS - college roommates au, fluff, from jay's pov, based off laufey's 'while you were sleeping' ; WARNINGS - not proofread
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i still can't believe that you noticed me
mindlessly scrolling on your phone, you patiently wait for your roommate, park jay, to finish cooking up some breakfast. a comfortable silence has settled between you two, with the only sounds being the sizzling oil on the pan and your humming.
"you've been listening to the same 14 songs for the past week."
"what?" you ask, looking up at him. you stare at his back, broad shoulders exposed by his tank top.
he turns his head to look back at you over his shoulder, raising a perfect eyebrow. you realise then what he's saying.
laufey had released a new album last week, and you literally haven't played any other song outside of it since it dropped. you can feel jay judging you, but you just shrug at him. you were definitely not stopping.
"so what if i've had bewitched on repeat? can you deny that they're good?" you challenged him.
"no, of course not," he chuckled to himself, turning back to the pan. "i'm just surprised you haven't gotten sick of it yet."
"i would never get sick of laufey," you say with mock offence.
"alright, then," he said with a teasing undertone.
you wanted to retort, but he placed a plate in front of you, making you forget what you were going to say.
"hey, you have a later clinical today, right?" he asked as you two dug in.
"mhm."
"take the box i left in the fridge with you before you go then. its some extra lunch i made so you'd have enough energy to get through the day."
"thank you," you say appreciatively. "you really don't have to do that every time i have a heavier day."
"well, if i have time to, then i don't see why i shouldn't."
"what about you? what are you doing today?"
"my professor cancelled class today, so i'll go check out if i can bother heeseung or jake."
"i'll pray for whichever victim you choose, then," you joke.
"maybe i won't make you extra lunch next time," he pouted playfully.
"no, no. those actually really help me. god knows if i didn't score you as my roommate, i would have passed out several times by now."
"grateful to be of service"
after breakfast, jay lounges around the apartment as you're getting ready. some show plays on the tv, but it doesn't drown out the sound of must be love playing from your speakers.
you shout your leaving when you exit the shared apartment, and jay wishes you a good day. he watches you close the door, leaving him completely alone.
i'll never forget the first time i saw you then
when he drives to the shopping centre with jake later that day, he pauses mid-sentence when he realises something.
"is everything good?" his friend asks.
"yeah, i just recognised the song playing."
"really? you listen to from the start by laufey?" jake asks. he had decided to connect his phone to jay's carplay, and had been in the one in control of the playlist.
"not really, but my roommate does."
"y/n? that's pretty cool. they've got good music taste," he replies.
"they've had her newest album on repeat since she dropped it," jay laughs, eyes on the road.
"do you find that annoying?"
"of course not, it's funny seeing them prance around the apartment, belting their heart out," he laughs at a memory of you singing at the top of your lungs. "i guess i'm more of a second-hand listener now? if that's even a thing."
"probably," jake shrugs.
a light pink bouquet, a promise you'll stay and i start to believe
the two had decided to eat out at wagamama's first, before anything else.
"i think i'll get the pad thai," tells the waitor, who nods and notes it on his ipad.
"hm, i'm feeling like trying the grilled chicken ramen," jay says. "oh, could i also get the miso mixed vegetable salad to-go?"
"sure," the waitor replies. he pockets the small device in his apron, and leaves for the kitchen.
"you ordered another meal?" the younger asks curiously.
"me and y/n go here often. of course, i had to get them something. usually, they'll go for the typical miso salad, or some curry, but they've decided they wanted to try being vegan recently. so i got the vegan one," jay explains nonchalantly.
"wow, you really care a lot about them, huh?"
"of course, we're sharing the rent, after all. have to be a good roommate, otherwise they'll leave and i'll have to pay the bills on my own."
"maybe i should get a roommate," jake chuckles. "but i don't think i'd be able to get someone like you."
"i'd feel sorry for whoever ends up with you," jay teases him. "and anyway, they're a good roommate. they do the laundry for the both of us, and we usually spend the weekends cleaning together."
"you guys are so lucky," is all jake says.
i don't recognise myself ; who've i become?
jake dragged jay into their third clothing shop that day, despite jay's protests. in self-defence, jake whines about needing some new shoes.
"don't you have like, thirty pairs? what could you possibly need another one for?"
"actually, i only have twenty-eight. and i need one for graduation, of course."
"right, because none of your almost-thirty pairs suffice," jay rolls his eyes.
"don't act like you dont have seventy pairs of the same polo shirt."
"i don't!"
"i've seen your closet, don't lie to me."
jay sighs and leaves jake to wander around the shop on his own.
"there you go again, buying another shirt," jake's voice sighs from behind jay fifteen minutes later.
"not for me," jay shakes his head. he turns to show the clothing piece to his friend. "for y/n. this is definitely their style, and it'll fit them so well. they have a pair of shoes that are this exact colour, so it would be good outfit if they sandwhich it with any bottom piece they choose."
"you think a lot about your roommate," jake raises his eyebrow at him.
"i see them all the time, why wouldn't i?" jay asks.
"no, like, you think too much about y/n considering you're 'only roommates'," he says with a quote gesture.
"stop suggesting weird things," jay walks ahead to the counter, leaving jake to follow behind.
"is it really so weird, though? if you like y/n like that?"
jay just ignores him, and pays for the shirt. it's not, he thinks to himself, because it's not a new thought either.
i trace it all back, 3:30 am that night something turned in my heart
"thank you, jay," you hug him when he shows you what he got. "you really need to stop buying me things."
"i can't help it," he smiles. "when i see something that reminds me of you, i just feel like i have to get it."
"with how often you buy me things, i'd say a lot of things remind you of me, huh?"
"seems like it..." he scratches his nape, awkwardly avoiding eye contact with you. thanks jake, he scowls in his mind. now he can't stop thinking about what he said earlier.
you and jay decide to watch a movie the next night, since it was a friday, and neither of you had to be up early the next day.
but jay couldn't focus on the tv when you two were basically cuddling under the shared blanket on the sofa. his skin prickled where his arm hung around your shoulder, and the weight of your head on his made him feel light and airy.
the warmth of your body seeped through your clothes, and brought him immense comfort. your sweet scent filled his nose, subconsciously recognising it to be one of the perfumes he'd bought you.
it was only when the movie ended he realised he hadn't been watching at all. and neither were you, if your light snores were any indication.
he huffed amusedly to himself, and shifted on the sofa to get you two in a more comfortable position, actually lying down. reaching for the remote, he carefully switched off the tv, leaving the only source of light to be a soft, warm yellow coming from a corner lamp.
jay stared at your features, illuminated by the dim light. he realised right then, in the comfort of your arms, far into the night, what he felt for you.
while you were sleeping, i fell in love.
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; AUTHOR'S CORNER! do u guys ever feel like throwing up at your own work? ALSO THANK YOU FOR 200 this is my offer of thanks 🤭
; TAGLIST - @lovelovelovebts @miyseung @babyy-bambii
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finleyforevermore · 2 months
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This is just in case the KOSA act passes (hopefully it never does)
I'm still holding out hope that KOSA is denied, but if it passes, I just needed to make this post. If it passes the Senate, it heads to the House next. I know we have some time left before it goes to the House but I felt the need to make this post anyway, even if we have some time left and it may not even pass.
Each and every one of you, my incredible friends, have changed my life in ways you couldn't even imagine.
I joined this hellsite on 03/02/2022 at 11:31:55 AM, according to the @memories blog.
If KOSA passes chances are we may not be able to celebrate my two year Tumblr-versary.
But in spite of that, these two years have been so incredibly magical and wonderful. The 2022-23 school year was the worst of my life but you all with your humor and compassion and joy made it bearable.
I've made more friends with abunch of strangers on the Internet than in reality! But the fact our love and friendship transcends countries, cities, timezones, etc. proves how real it is.
Each and every one of you mean the world to me and I love all of you so much.
But there's a special few I just need to call out in case this is really the end
@jessiwiththeheadphones @whistlingstarlight @catofstarlight @all-alone-in-the-moonlight @gb-diesellok @splendidred05
You all have been with me since the very beginning of my Tumblr journey and I can't even begin to thank you all enough for being such wonderful friends in the 2 years I've known you all. Thank you for being such blessings to me.
And to all..a thousand of you XD who weren't tagged you all mean just as much to me. I can't even thank you all enough for being so special and wonderful and caring and compassionate. You all are truly my best friends forever. 💖💖💖
If KOSA passes, this isn't truly the end, I'm sure of it. We'll see each other again some way, I'm sure of it. The world works in mysterious ways.
Take care of yourselves for me. Stay strong. Stay healthy. Stay joyful. Stay loving. Stay the best versions of yourselves.
I think it's only fitting I send this off with a musical theatre lyric or several.
"Think of me, think of me fondly
When we've said goodbye
Remember me, once in a while
Please promise me you'll try
When you find that once again you long
To take your heart back and be free
If you ever find a moment
Spare a thought for me
...
Recall those days
Look back on all those times
Think of the things we'll never do
There will never be a day
When I won't think of you.
...
Flowers fade, the fruits of summer fade
They have their season so do we
But please promise me that sometimes
You will think of me!"
~ "Think of Me" from The Phantom of the Opera, by Andrew Lloyd Webber, Charles Hart, and Richard Stilgoe.
Until we meet again, my dears. 💖💖💖
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nixoon-again · 2 months
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"I wanna fly high…”
Sonic doesn't remember when was the first time he caught Tails singing this melody or where the kit picked it up from but what he does know is that whenever the hedgehog sung it in a hushed tone — in soft murmurs to match the steady breathing of the fox cub in his arms  cuddled close to his chest — it will be enough to put him to sleep.
He can't deny that catching Tails singing it to himself while tinkering alone in his workshop is cute and all, especially when he catches him dancing and the kit gets a little embarrassed afterwards and Sonic has to tell him it's nothing to worry about, but there's just something different about the nights when his baby brother just couldn't sleep, whether it be nightmares or thunderstorms or simply insomnia plaguing his cunning little fox brain, when he shyly tiptoes to Sonic in the dead of the night whenever the hedgehog decides to crash in his place and, with a quiet request, climbs onto his chest as Sonic holds him close. He scritches the back of his ear as his free hand brushes through the golden fur on the kit's back, both of their hushed breathing and soft heartbeats combining to make the melody even more peaceful.
To Tails, it was simply always more peaceful when it was Sonic's voice singing it.
It was never about the melody, about the song, about the lyrics. Just his big brother's voice.
Calm, soothing, safe.
"So I can reach the highest of all the heavens..." Sonic shifts a bit, just to give his sleeping arm some movement before he drapes it over the small of Tails’ back, the kit snuggling into the crook of his neck in return. Tails hums, content with his place atop the hedgehog's chest, listening to his (steady?) heartbeat as he wraps his twin tails around the both of them to provide enough warmth to fight off the cold that isn't necessarily the weather's fault this time. 
Just their own bodies failing to generate enough heat for comfort.
"Somebody will be waiting for me,” Sonic tries his very best to ignore the blood on his hands, the blood tainting his baby brother's chest and his own through the contact as well. He doesn't want to open his eyes, he doesn't want to see the red when he can pretend he's simply lulling Tails to sleep on a cold winter night and not to a slumber he might never wake up from. “So I-I have gotta fly higher..."
Tails purrs in his hold, secure and Sonic doesn't want anything else. He can't ask for anything else — well, he can. He can ask for a life that's going to be snatched away from his arms way too soon, for years yet to come, for wanting to see the boy in his arms grow up, for his bright smiles, for the wafting scent of breakfast in workshop he's returning to after a morning run, for a little more time, for home.
But Sonic doesn't ask for it. 
He's already using all of his leftover energy to stay awake just long enough for Tails to go first.
He doesn't want Tails to be alone, he doesn't want him to be scared, hurt and terrified in Sonic's arms who won't get up no matter how many times he begs every deity out there — Sonic doesn't want that. So he'll stay. Just long enough for Tails.
"Gotta keep goin'... Everything is a brand new challenge for me," If a tear rolls down Sonic's muzzle, he doesn't regard it. If anything it's hidden from sight when he lowers his head just enough to plant a soft parting kiss on top of Tails’ head. 
He continues with his lips still hovering above the boy's soft golden fur, "I will believe in myself..."
He can't feel his hands anymore, he doesn't know if he's still petting Tails. He doesn't want them to stop, his baby brother needs all the comfort he can offer to him right now. 
“This is only the start…”
His voice betrays him next.
Within moments, the world goes numb.
Sonic doesn't know which one of them went first.
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valentine-writes · 8 months
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their "i love you"s and other drabbles...
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「 tws + notes: no tws, HEAVILY unedited, a little angst in sum partz but f it we ball (THERE'S SUMN WRONG W/ ME I NEVER DO THIS MUCH?), fluff, tried to add a lil bit of everyone, little thoughtz abt the characters,,, 」
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↳ ft. ben reilly/scarlet spider, gwen stacy, hobie brown/spider-punk, jessica drew, lyla, margo kess, miles morales (1610 and 42), miguel o'hara/spider-man 2099, pavitr prabhakar, peter b parker, spider-man noir, and the spot/johnathan ohnn
「 gn!reader, romantic relationships <3 」
author's note: not my usual content but thought it wud b fun to whip up a few drabbles,, (´。_。`) diff format than usual too! all separate and stuff, w/ the characterz at the bottom being the ones the drabble applies to the most (ALL CAPZ MEANS I THOUGHT IT FIT THEM SUPER WELL!!!!) thought it wud b fun,,, altered lyrics are italicized, itz jus a pronoun change 2 make it gender neutral (❁´◡`❁) edit: my tags. do not fit. so i had to redo them. reblogz r super appreciated ^_^ i jus wanna make sure all fans of these characterz are being fed content <33
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[ please don't forget about me - pompey ]
"and if you see me everyday / will I lose my shine?"
↳ always terrified of not being exciting and new to you– like one day, their appeal will fade. not like they understand what drew you to them in the first place, but they never asked. maybe you're just hanging around for the hell of it. maybe one day, they'll watch you leave and they'll have nothing to convince you to stay
"how many bad jokes will it take? / or awkward quiet times?"
↳ they wonder if they're already losing you slowly. everytime they speak to you, it's like they're trying to compensate for something. begging you to look at them– but not too close,,, just in case you notice how brutally flawed they are, beyond just the quirks you find endearing. maybe one day you'll look too deep into their eyes and you won't like what you see
▸ JOHNATHAN OHNN/THE SPOT, peter b parker
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[ soft sounds from another planet - japanese breakfast ]
"i'll show you the way to hurt me"
↳ loving again is the biggest risk anyone who's been hurt like them could take. you make it worth the danger– the possibility of the pain they've grown all too familiar with. maybe for today, caution can be set aside. when it comes to you, they wouldn't mind letting their guard down.
"in search of a soft sound from another planet / in search of a quiet place to lay this to rest."
↳ they have to admit their past has burdened them in ways they can't even begin to communicate. they know you can't fix everything that has been broken in their lives. still, the comfort you provide is never taken for granted. you are their safe space– the soft sound from another planet. their quiet place to finally lay it all to rest. and suddenly, the aching in their chest doesn't eat them up inside as much as it used to.
you make it easy to love again.
▸ GWEN STACY, MIGUEL O'HARA/SPIDER-MAN 2099
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[ our lullabye - miracle musical ]
"i was made for you / you were made for me"
↳ it's hard to believe that you're more than just a distant fantasy sometimes. they can't deny how much they've yearned for a love like the one you two share. something so sweet, so real. it's nothing like the movies or the fairytales, but is anything ever? even when things are messy and complicated, it's undeniable how perfect it all feels. how everything about the two of you just fits. they're inclined to thank every shooting star they've ever wished on, every birthday candle they've ever held their deepest desires in as they blew the flame out for the day you two met. by any manner of higher power or forces unseen to the human eye, they're certain fate was on their side to give them such a blessing.
"i'll love you 'till you're gone / our song goes on and on"
↳ they're determined to hold on as long as possible. all good things cannot last– but they try not to dwell on that thought. they hold onto the hope that you're the one thing that will stay. your love feels divine. radiant, in the way it overtakes them fully. they almost feel undeserving. so, no matter how small or how grand the action, they try to remind you every day, "i love you"s woven into their every being whenever you're around.
▸ lyla, SPIDER-MAN NOIR, johnathan ohnn/the spot
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[ i will - mitski ]
"everything you feel is good / if you would only let you"
↳ sometimes they feel you holding back. they can't help but notice the tension in the room as you suppress the things you want to say, silence the thoughts in your head. they know it's not easy to be earnest all the time. but they love you– they care for you. and all they've ever wanted is for you to be authentic. if it's pure, how could it ever be wrong? maybe in your own time, you'll be able to unravel in front of them. they're by your side every step of the way. to finally have you open up to them– to be real, to be honest– it would mean the world to them. they want to show you they love every single part of you. they love you when you're upset, when you're crying, when you're angry– because it's you.
"so stay with me / hold my hand / there's no need / to be brave"
↳ they offer every reassurance they can give you. you no longer have to fend for yourself. those days of being alone are over. you can crumble apart if you need– there's no need for constant bravery anymore. you did such a good job picking yourself up, time and time again. now, they outstretch a hand to you, a silent way of saying, "let me help you this time."
▸ ben reilly/scarlet spider, gwen stacy, HOBIE BROWN/SPIDER-PUNK, JESSICA DREW, lyla, MILES MORALES (1610), PAVITR PRABHAKAR, PETER B PARKER tbh all of them but shhh
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[ right side of my neck - faye webster ]
"you looked back at me once / but i looked back two times"
↳ absolutely smitten with you. it doesn't matter how hard you fell. they. fell. harder. and maybe it's not obvious to you. but they've never had someone who made them care so much. some part of them feels immature for feeling so in love,, like a school kid with a puppy crush. they find it ridiculous, how absolutely lovesick and enamoured they are with everything about you. whatever you feel and express towards them, they feel towards you three times as much. they try everyday to show it.
"the right side of my neck / still smells like you"
↳ you just seem to leave a part of you with them always. they can't ignore it– can't seem to escape your presence, even when you're not physically there. it felt like spiralling to insanity at first. but they've learned to appreciate it– find comfort in it, even. the way the smell of your shampoo lingers on the pillow they leant you when you stayed over, the way that the mug of tea (made just the way you like it) is still on the kitchen table from the morning after– you left your t-shirt once and you had to ask them directly for it back. they like keeping pieces of you near. it reminds them of how loved they are.
▸ BEN REILLY/SCARLET SPIDER, gwen stacy, HOBIE BROWN/SPIDER-PUNK, MARGO KESS, miles morales (1610 and 42), pavitr prabhakar, the spot/johnathan ohnn
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[ you love me - kimya dawson ]
"but when i met you, right away, i knew / you would never, ever, ever hurt me"
↳ you're used to pulling away. leave before they can leave you, before they even try to make you miss them– but the second you met them? they were insistent on proving that they were harmless. they could never dream of hurting you. and they see as you pull away, scared to get too close– and yet, every single time, they open their arms back to you.
"and the road's still long but you come along / and you hold my hand, and you understand"
↳ "when you're ready" has become second place in their favourite three word sentences. they remind you of these words constantly.
"when you're ready" means they don't mind that it's not now. ""when you're ready" means it doesn't matter how long they have to wait for you, they will. when you're ready" is another form of "i love you"
▸ MARGO KESS, MILES MORALES (1610), pavitr prabhakar, PETER B PARKER, spider-man noir
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[ (you) on my arm - leith ross ]
"i wanna buy you pretty little things / and never ever lie to you"
↳ wants something simple with you. craves a form of sweet, normalcy. the mundane tasks and events of life seem far more appealing to them when you're in the picture. no, they never really imagined ever having a quiet life, yet the hope for one with you lingered. to buy you little gifts, to be the best they could possibly be to you, to drive around with you for the hell of it. they're certain anything could be heaven if you were there to accompany them.
a quiet life sounds nice.
"i'd be better armed if you agreed to take it"
↳ having you on their arm just makes them feel secure. keeping you close while showing you off to the world– showing you've got each other. they're a bit sappy for little things like this. everywhere you go, they never fail to extend an arm out to you. something about you makes them feel safer than ever.
▸ jessica drew, miles morales (1610), MILES MORALES (42), peter b parker, SPIDER-MAN NOIR
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[ peach scone - hobo johnson ]
"so I fall to ground, collect myself and get ready to take over your heart / or at least your spare time"
↳ they try so incredibly hard to be the one for you. no matter what they try, they just seem to fumble and mess it up. they stumble over their words when they try to compliment you, they get weak in the knees when they try to make a move, and no matter how much they spend deliberating, and deliberating– they've got no clue how to win you over. hopefully you find their clumsy attempts endearing. they're making a fool of themself. and maybe, they haven't really said anything yet– but they're happy to at least hang around you in the meantime
▸ BEN REILLY/SCARLET SPIDER, gwen stacy, MILES MORALES (1610), spider-man noir, the spot/johnathan ohnn
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[ dan the dancer - mitski ]
" he liked them more than life itself / i'm sure "
↳ he was quiet in the way he expressed his adoration. still, he did everything he could to ensure you would never go unloved. the way he looks into your eyes, taking you in like you are the loveliest thing on earth... it's only fitting. you're his world. maybe in the silent moments, when his fingers gently brush your cheek, admiring you– you'd begin to understand this.
▸ MILES MORALES (42), MIGUEL O'HARA/SPIDER-MAN 2099
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[ lover // over the moon - alice phoebe lou ]
"i'm a lover / i feel it now / i'm a lover / just never knew how"
↳ they don't even try to hide how much they enjoy your company. you're special to them– why would they try to hide that? at this point, whenever you feel arms wrap around you from behind, you've learned to see their grinning face when you glance over your shoulder. maybe they've never been particularly shy about most things,, but now they're just twice as loud. it's inexplicable, the things you do to them. they hadn't anticipated being so utterly soft,,, not like they're complaining
▸ hobie brown/spider-punk, PAVITR PRABHAKAR
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fayes-fics · 3 months
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When The World Is Free: Chapter 4 - Le Rideau Tombe Avant La Fin
MASTERPOST PREV | NEXT
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, WW2 AU.
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Warnings: none.
Word Count: 2.6k
Author’s Note: Multi-chapter fic based on a request by the lovely @amillcitygirl! Please see the masterpost for a synopsis of this story. This is reader and Eloise's farewell to Paris. Thanks to @colettebronte for beta reading. Enjoy!
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Paris, September 1939
The next three days are a blur, fleeting but at once memorable, lived on borrowed time. 
Knowing the inevitable is happening - that you will need to leave Paris soon - you give notice at work; so sad to have only been there for a matter of weeks rather than the planned months. On a brighter note, however, you are able to spend the days with Benedict, showing him all you have learned about art in the city in the short time you have had. Many a happy hour is spent in galleries. Both of you tripping over your words to share what you know about the art and the artists in a breathless, excited fashion. Kindred spirits in your appreciation of the works. Sometimes lost in a reverie as you stand in front of a canvas as large as your entire living room, the scale and complexity literally dumbfounding. 
And, of course, a little of your heart is stolen with each moment together - the first person you have ever met who truly seems as enthused as you about the subject matter. That it's all wrapped up in that handsome face adds more complexity and confusion. You can't deny the skip in your pulse when he looks at you, weighted, a touch of reverence, so focused as you speak passionately on the subject you love. And you are certain your face is a picture of devotion as he waxes lyrical, too. You know you are getting swept up into the almost cliched romance of it all - the city of love, a handsome stranger, the no doubt impending invasion giving a sense of urgency and finality to every hour- it's a powder keg that feels dangerous as it is intoxicating. 
Early evening of the second day, as you wander back from the Louvre, you pass by the offices of the cruise company you came from America with. 
“Oh! I should speak to them about swapping my return ticket,” you comment, seeing the men standing outside in the smart red livery of the company, speaking in English to crowds of people inquiring about escaping France.
“See if you can move it to the day after tomorrow,” Benedict counsels. “That is the day we are due to set sail. We can all go to the coast together on the train.”
“That would be nice,” you admit, realising it will be lovely to have someone to wave farewell to, even if there is a little stab in your chest at the idea you may never see Benedict again. Or, of course, darling Eloise.
So, a couple of hours later, after an early dinner, you are back on this same street, your ticket in hand, waiting patiently to speak to one of the young men in uniform. 
“Mademoiselle?” he beckons you forward.
“Good evening. I have a ticket to New York for eleven months, hence, 12th August 1940. I am hoping I can swap to a sailing in a few days? Ideally, the day after tomorrow?”
The men exchange glances, and there seems to be a swirl of excitement as they crowd around you.
“A real ticket?” one of them pipes up, an excitement in their tone which strikes you as rather odd.
With a nod, you hand it over, and they all seem to confer, then grab a pad of tickets and transfer some details. 
“Not a problem at all, Mademoiselle. Here, this is for a sailing two days hence. Thank you for travelling with us!”
They seem inordinately pleased as you walk away clutching your new ticket, a mix of emotions swirling. The finality of your time in Paris suddenly so real, the date on the newly issued ticket, ink still drying, sinking in.
When you push open the door to your apartment, still with a tinge of melancholy, you are taken aback by the whirlwind you encounter.
“How did I amass this many mugs?” Eloise decries, standing amidst a complete bomb of possessions scattered all over the surfaces of your apartment.
“Well, you can't take them all home,’ Benedict points out wearily, “you have your case, and that trunk there, Eloise, and that is all.”
Eloise rolls her eyes. “Well aware of that brother…” holding a blue and red mug in each hand, assessing which she likes more.
“I suppose I'm lucky I've only been here a matter of weeks,” you pipe up as they both turn to look at you, Benedict shooting you a lopsided grin as Eloise barges forward and loops your arm in hers, dragging you across the room.
“Just the person I need!” she declares. “Help me! What mug screams, ‘I had a life in Paris once, and it was amazing’?” She gestures to the array of drinking vessels she has pulled out to the cupboard.
You ponder the question with a thoughtful pout. “Why not just leave them all for the next tenant? I'm sure Solene would appreciate the ability to rent out the apartment with kitchen supplies?” you try to be diplomatic.
“Yes, I know that,” Eloise sighs, “there were mugs when I got here. That, of course, got mysteriously broken after a few days, which is a blessing as they were all hideous…”
“You broke some perfectly good mugs?” Benedict frowns disapprovingly.
“Do you live here?” she shoots back pointedly, raising an eyebrow, “I am only seeking the counsel of those who live here… not a squatter,” she sniffs.
You share a look with Benedict -  yours contrite, his bemused - as if this is just another day with Eloise. Which, to be fair, it sort of is.
“If I had to choose one…” you point to the cherry red earthenware mug that looks French in a way you can’t quantify; it just does.
“You’re right as always,” Eloise grins, seizing it. “Much better help than that one,” she adds, sticking her tongue out at Benedict as she wraps the chosen item in yesterday's newspaper.
“Packing going well?” you breeze, your eye again meeting Benedict’s as he pulls a face that makes you giggle hard.
“You try cramming nine months of freedom into a teeny trunk,” Eloise grumbles, heading towards her bedroom.
“I am just taking my clothes…” you admit. You only have a few additional items you purchased since you arrived in Paris that should all fit if you pack smart enough.
“That’s yours, by the way…” Eloise gestures to Benedict’s painting on the wall before she disappears out of sight. “I have no room for it, and it seems strange to carry a picture of a house I'm headed to…” she calls out down the corridor.
“I would love it…” you inhale, looking at the artist imploringly as if somehow you need his permission.
“Y-you want it?” Hesitant, disbelieving almost. 
“If you will permit me,” you confess, clasping a hand over your heart.
“It is yours,” he replies, his face a mixture of pleasant surprise and humble acceptance.
You rush forward and take the painting off the wall, reverentially cradling it between your hands. 
“Thank you, Benedict,” you sigh, a little fizz in your stomach at the idea he wants you to have it. Like you will always have a piece of him with you once you are apart.
“I can paint you others...” he offers quickly, in a rush of exhaled breath. “Whatever you want…”
Something in the tumbling sincerity of his words has your heart beating fast.
“I can think of nothing more appealing than a wall full of your works…” you confess while trying not to think that room would be thousands of miles away.
He blushes adorably, casting his eyes down until suddenly, his head jerks up again. “Wait I…I have something I want to give you, actually,” He scurries across the room and gathers a sketchbook. “I'm sorry it's not framed, but here…”
He carefully tears out the page from his pad. And your heart stops.
It's you from two days ago. Sitting on a bench overlooking the Seine, the Eiffel Tower over your shoulder as you read a book. You wondered what he was doing sitting a few feet away that day as you took a lunch break. Now you know. It's a perfect pencil rendering of the scene, each sketched line a wondrous recreation of that sun-soaked afternoon.
“Benedict….” all other words fail. 
“I want you to have it,” he murmurs, “your time in Paris may have been unexpectedly brief, but you deserve a memento of the happiness you found here, however fleeting it had to be.”
Tears prickle in the corner of your eyes; you want to rush to him, to throw your arms around him, thank him profusely, but you are scared to. Scared that in the moment you would get carried away, press your lips to his…
“Thank you...” is all you can struggle out, inadequate and awkward.  
“De rein…” Again, that perfect accent has you practically swaying
But the spell is broken when Eloise reappears, complaining loudly about the size of her trunk, and part of you is grateful for it. Guilt floods your being as you think how bad of a person you must be to covet your best friend’s brother when you have a fiance back home. One you will, in fact, likely see in a matter of days now… tamping down that disquiet, you excuse yourself to your room, placing your ticket on the mantel and refusing to look at it as you pick up a book to read.
Solene’s hug is so tight you feel like she is crushing your ribs. Or perhaps it's that you feel a little too fragile today.
“I shall miss you, ma cherie,” she mumbles into your hair before pulling back and seizing your jaw. “You will come back when this is all over, oui?”
“Oui,” you agree, knowing it’s more of a wish than a promise.
Once again, she pulls you in for a tight hug before turning to Eloise and clinging to her just the same, lingering longer.
“Souviens-toi, ma sœur,” she reminds Eloise, having told you the previous night that her sister lives just outside the port city of Le Havre should you need a place to stay for any reason.
It's two days later, the day of your departure, and your eyes ping around the now-tidy apartment, only furniture left where once there was a jumble of life. It looks much less like home, making handing over your key a little less painful. One final wistful glance at the Eiffel Tower out of the window is all you can manage before picking up your case and walking out, scared to look back.
Benedict is loitering in the corridor outside and shoots you a sympathetic glance as you exit, eyes glassy.
“You will return,” he offers solemnly, even as you both know it's just a platitude, before turning his attention to the apartment door. “Hurry up, Eloise, we need to get to the train…” he calls.
You start to move towards the sweeping staircase, preferring a long amble down its winding loop than the lift, your case feeling much heavier than when you arrived mere weeks ago…
You watch the puffs of steam float past the window as the train picks up pace, pulling out of Gare Saint-Lazare. Perhaps aptly, it begins raining soon after, streaks of water lashing the glass as you rest your head back into the seat.
“I can't bear to look at it,” Eloise sighs, closing her eyes so as not to see Paris slipping away.
You reach over the table between you and grasp her hand, and her eyes open to give you a nod of thanks before closing again. 
“Why do you have to be American?” she whines. “I would do anything to have you come to England. We could get a little place together in London…” She winds her feet around yours like a vine, needing the connection in your last few hours together.
“If only…” you agree, a weight akin to a heavy boulder settling in your stomach at the idea you will soon be back on Long Island, a world that seems so…. staid to you now.
Benedict shoots you a sympathetic look across from his seat next to Eloise on the aisle but says nothing, going back to reading his book as it's your turn to sigh, the city now a blur outside the window as you speed towards the end of your time in France.
Half an hour later, Eloise is sleeping, her head lolling lightly on the glass with the gentle rocking motion of the train, now following the meander of the Seine just outside Poissy.
“She didn't sleep well last night,” Benedict observes, looking up from his book and following your line of sight. “I don't think she wanted her last night in Paris to ever end.”.
His words take you back to just hours ago, a rousing evening in your favourite local bistro filled with wine, camaraderie and song. Benedict didn't accompany you and Eloise, preferring to stay home and read, he said, but part of you wishes he was there to help commiserate and toast your final night chez Paris.
“You should have come out,” you opine with a slight pout, which makes him chuckle.
“It's not me who had to have the fitting farewell,” he points out with a sympathetic smile.
“Still, it would have been nice if you were there…” The idle thought is out of your lips before you can think about how that might sound, and you know you are blushing when his mouth opens a fraction in surprise, a dot of colour on his cheeks, too.
“I'm sure you still had a wonderful time,” he placates demurely.
You smile and nod, feeling a little twinge in your ankle from all the dancing you have done.
“Are you excited?” he asks, changing the subject.
You frown. “Why would I be excited to leave Paris?”
To be reunited with your fiance?” he answers slowly, a look of puzzlement on his face that it had not occurred to you.
“Oh…” you pause, your mind recalling Stanley’s smile, although somehow it seems faded now, like an out-of-focus photograph, as if you cannot wholly remember it now.  “I… I suppose…”
His face is a picture of concern again. “You do not sound certain…” he hedges.
“I am not, to be honest,” you sigh for what seems like the hundredth time today. “These few weeks have… shown me so much of the world,” you explain, “I have had so many novel experiences, met so many wonderful new people…” you can't help but let your gaze meet his as you say it. “It makes my life before seem… small? Parochial?” you are clutching for the right words as his hazy eyes track your every facial move.
“Like an old shoe that used to be comfortable but now suddenly feels too tight?” he offers a metaphor that is so apt you can't help but nod.
“Exactly!’ you agree, enthusiastically waving your hand. 
There is a quiet moment where your eyes meet again, a tingle over your skin, a pulse of energy so enlivening.
“Do you feel there is perhaps something out there better for you?” his ask feels loaded, a quiet murmur that carries so much hidden meaning but is nearly lost in the rhythmic sound of the train clattering over the tracks. So much so you could likely pretend you didn't hear, but you don't. 
“I just might…” you answer softly, even as you are unable to look away. Something about this man makes you daring, unwilling to do anything but be bold.
Long, elegant fingers reach out over the table and are about to brush the back of your hand when Eloise suddenly startles awake between you. His hand disappears rapidly, pulling back as if burned. All you can concentrate on is the ashy taste of regret at your best friend’s timing.
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Benedict taglist: @foreverlonginguniverse @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @truly-dionysus @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @kmc1989 @desert-fern @starkeylover @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @amygdtjhddzvb @sya-skies @balladynaaa
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noxtivagus · 1 year
Text
i'm so embarrassed.. parade's lust is pretty high up in my top songs 😭😭
#🌙.rambles#17 all time n 18 for top 2022#i swear i hate him#I LIKE MORNING LIGHT HYMNUS MORE#crying screaming i love gbf so much still#ngl i still haven't recovered from the event story#GRIMNIR. I SWEAR I'M#THE EFFECT GRIMNIR HAS ON ME? I SEE HIM I HEAR HIM N SUDDENLY I'M A SMILING FOOL#gbf & ffxiv r so weird they have me. so#look it's been more than 2 years but still they#HKFJASDLKFSJD 😭😭#can i ramble about how much i love morning light hymnus! i'm listening to it rn#the lyrics r so romantic on the outside but. there's definitely some obsession that it's rooted in#desperation. belial. hfdlkasdjflkdfj#ngl i can't deny he's one of my favorite characters#i really love the song so much.. from the lyrics to the melody n harmonies n everything literally everything#i love songs like that so much#as much as i love morning light hymnus though. uh#i wna know how much i listened to existence this year. there's something just so special about that song for me#5th all time and 2nd this year.#BUBS IS SO COOL 🥺#i love the lyrics for existence sm i relate to them a lot n#hdklfasjdfks served as so much inspo! 'transient wings' n then. GOD THIS SONG I WOULD DIE FOR IT#I REALLY. REALLY LOVE EXISTENCE#THE LYRICS MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME.#thinking about it n one kind of music i really like are. yk those powerful ones. that r rather elegant#if it has lyrics then it's rather poetic. pretty words hehe well-written#a lot of gbf osts come to mind. ff too n a lot of vgs i like. octopath kh nier yeah stuff like that#apocalypsis noctis. forza finale. a beautiful song. rose queen. decisive battle ii. insanity. oh please kiss me /p if you recognize those#goddamn to whoever brings me to an orchestra of any video game i like i'll marry you
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heeseung-min · 5 months
Text
[13:25]
I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me
Papa-paparazzi
Click! Click! Click!
Sunghoon smiled widely at the result of pictures that he just took. It's not just a random picture of scenery but it is a picture of you. An exclusive picture that neither your fans or any reporter could get this.
"Fuck, y/n. Why are you so beautiful even when you are sleeping?"
Sunghoon stopped capturing your pictures and laid on the bed beside you instead. He started to caressed your body enjoying the smooth skin. Ahh, the pills he purchased really works. You sleep like a log and can't even heard when he came in or when he accidentally broke one of your plates. Don't worry he will get a new one for you. It's not like you will notice if one of it gone missing. For now, he just wanted to enjoy this moment before the drugs in your body started to wear off.
"Promise I'll be kind, but I won't stop...until you are mine y/n."
Sunghoon smirked to himself as he changed the lyrics of his favourite song aka Paparazzi by Lady Gaga. The first time he heard the song while he was driving it instantly became his favourite.
______________________________________
"Are you okay, Y/n?" Aira, your manager asked as she politely asking the staff in the room to leave both of you alone.
You were not in the mood and feel very weak. You don't want to suddenly cancel the shoot when people already prepare everything. However, your body feel so fragile right now.
"I don't know Aira. I think I slept a lot last night but somehow I still got headache and I feel pain on my body."
"Maybe you are still tired, Y/n. Plus, your schedule is so tight nowadays so probably you didn't get enough rest. I will leave you alone in this room and will be back in 30, okay?"
"Thanks, Aira."
After few minutes Aira left the room, you felt relief and slowly your breathing became slow and your eyes dropping and went to a deep sleep.
Aira also went to somewhere else and that left the front door with no guard. A man with completely black attire and mask came in and locked the door from inside.
Sunghoon took off his mask and smirked when he saw you were alone and sleeping peacefully. He went to crouch in front of you and stare at your face. Oh how sweet looking you are. The dress you were wearing right now slightly showing your skin making Sunghoon blushing at his dirty thought about you.
"Fuck, you can't torture me like this Y/n."
He muttered as he leaned closer to your face and stared straight at your lips. It wouldn't hurt to leave a peck on your lips, right? He's been holding it for a long time.
"Just one, baby."
And with that Sunghoon left a kiss on your lips. He groaned at the sweet taste of your lipbalm. He literally need to control himself from doing more. It's too risky to do it now.
______________________________________
Baby, you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Papa-paparazzi
"Y/n, are you still cannot go out?"
"No, Aira. I- I'm scared."
"Look, I know it's a serious matter but we hired many bodyguards for you. You will be safe, y/n. It's been three weeks since you went out from your house."
You discovered about your stalker few weeks ago when you saw an envelope without any details on it. You were shocked to see your pictures like this person literally followed you everywhere. Studio, cafe, restaurant, shopping malls and there's even pictures when you travel to another country. At first, you reported it to Aira about it and continue living your day. However, it didn't stop. After the first envelope came, another one came and another one until you feel so scared to leave your house. You even asked the security guard if he saw someone suspicious but he denied that and even the CCTV didn't have any record of someone put the envelope inside your mailbox. You started to isolate yourself and only contact Aira when you need something.
"I'll wait at the lobby, okay? Just call me if something is happening."
"Alright, I'm sorry, Aira.
"No need, I understand what u feel."
You finally went out from your apartment and walked to lobby and saw Aira with few male behind her. You assumed it was the bodyguards she talked about at the phone just now.
"Y/n, this is your bodyguards. The director choose them by himself. They have a clean record and most of them know martial arts so it's good for you."
Everyone started to introduce themselves and you just nodded at what they said until the last man showing his hand for you to shake.
"Good morning, Miss Y/n. My name is Park Sunghoon. It's nice to meet you."
"Ahh, yeah hi Park Sunghoon. Me too."
You took his hand and shook it for few seconds. Maybe it's true you will be safe since you have few guys protecting around you. You won't get any letter from the stalker anymore.
Cause he become your bodyguard now. It's easier to look at you like this.
Aight finally im finish with this😮‍💨😮‍💨I wanted to post it sooner but ergghh I was too sick and weak🤧😔 I recently got better but still suffering a bit but its for yall😊😊 hope u guys enjoy and nope no part 2 for this one okay
Taglist: @obsessed1with1straykids @huggyuvita @stacey-stonem @duolingofanaccount @eeunoia
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st-kitten · 5 months
Text
707 pt.3
← previous chapter christmas special
A/N: um... i've got two small special effects for this part, sooooo see if u can use them at the right moment :")
WARNINGS: trauma, implied death by accident, a good cry honestly, violence (intended IM A GIRLS GIRL BUT SOME THINGS ARE OKA-), that shlong, sloppenheimer (kidding: oral sex, both receiving), age gap (newsflash 😒) (reader is obv 20+ and toji is idk 38?)
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"can we call y/n? for cake?" asked megumi.
"i'm not sure she wants to see anybody today, kid," replied a distressed toji
"but it's my birthday..."
toji couldn't resist megumi's puppy eyes. but he figured that if there was anyone you'd listen to, it would be him. it was worth a try.
both of them stepped out of their apartment, hearing music coming from your apartment. toji felt his breath returning to his lungs. music meant you were okay. or at least alive. your singing got clearer as the two of them stood outside your door. he tried knocking but it was left unanswered. toji wondered whether it was just a recording playing, so he pressed his ear on the door. no, that's definitely her. open the fucking door, y/n!
all toji had as a sign that you were inside were was you were singing.
[mention: easy on me, by adele, again for the lyrics ft.]
"i know there is hope in these waters..." is she crying?
"but I can't bring myself to swim, when i am drowning in this silence..." your voice croaked in the end. she's definitely crying. what the fuck did i do...
toji looked around the lobby. seeing it empty, he grabbed your doorknob and pressed hard on it, tearing it apart, breaking it. he gave it to megumi. he barged inside your barely lit, dark living room, only to find you sitting on the floor, head against the sofa, looking at the ceiling. broken glasses and torn papers surrounded you as you sang at the top of your lungs, voice overcome with some kind of pain that toji couldn't understand, but just feel.
"you can't deny how hard I've tried i changed who I was to put you both first but now I give up..."
"i was still a child..."
"so go eas-" hearing the door blast open, you stopped, whipping your head in its direction.
you were about to bark at toji when you saw the look on his face. fear... then you saw megumi, holding your doorknob, standing behind his father.
toji saw your grief-stricken face. the haunting melody of whatever heart-wrenching song you were singing still echoed in his ears, reaching out from the walls like a desperate cry for help. your disheveled hair clung to your face, a stark contrast to the carefree spirit that used to reside next door.
"w-what are you d-"
"what happened?"
toji treaded carefully around the broken glass, telling megumi to wait where he stood. he knelt down beside you, pushing away the small shards.
you sat there, too horrified to say anything. why is he here? a small shaky breath left your mouth, the rest bubbling up like lava, ready to erupt.
"i don't know what i did baby, but i'm sorr-" toji's apology went unheard as tears streamed down your face and a cry tore through the air like a wounded animal's howl. it was guttural, unrestrained, and laced with a pain so visceral that toji felt it in his bones. the sound wasn't pretty; it was raw and unfiltered, like the ugly side of life laid bare for anyone in earshot.
without a second thought, toji enveloped you in a tight embrace, pulling your trembling shoulders into him. he sat on the floor next to you, one leg folded down and the other tucked to his chest. he felt an involuntary shiver run down his spine as you sobbed into him.
"it's okay..." was all he could say. even he knew that it wasn't about fixing everything; it was about being there in whatever storm was raining down on you. he looked at megumi, unsure about how his son would take seeing you break down. the child stood a silent witness to all of it, his eyes glistening slightly.
"why is it okay?" you muttered. "for parents to be your first bullies..."
"what... stopped them," you sniffled, "from just listening to me?"
toji held onto every word that came out of your mouth. a part of him was relieved that this wasn't about him.
"i didn't want a fucking cake... i didn't want a cake, i just wanted them..." your breath hitched.
"you spend half of your life raising a child in the cruelest way... your last words to each other end up being an argument and... your last words to me were nothing..."
toji felt a knot in his stomach. he watched megumi leave and go back to their apartment. he was torn between his kid, disturbed on the eve of his birthday and the woman he was cradling, on her birthday...
as the echoes of your cry faded, they left behind a heavy, oppressive silence. only your shaky breath could be heard. he sat beside you, his eyes searching for the right words as you wiped away the tears that had traced down your cheeks.
"birthdays are supposed to be happy, ya know..." he whispered to you, as gently as he could. as if the wrong words would shatter you.
"they're also supposed to be spent with family apparently..." you said, gritting your teeth. toji didn't know what to say... he wanted so desperately to talk to her. but how do you even say something at a time like that?
megumi's small steps echoed in your living room. both of you looked at him. you felt like bawling your eyes out and toji simply smiled at his son.
megumi carried a small plate with a loaf of bread sitting atop, two tiny candles buried in it, their flames flickering in the dark room. he stood in front of you, holding out the plate to you with his tiny hands.
you held the plate, placing your hands on his. you glanced at the clock, which was seconds away from midnight. you blew one candle, covering the other with your palm. and when the clock struck 12, megumi blew the other candle out.
"happy birthday, gumi," you put the plate down and hugged him. he wrapped his tiny hands around you, resting his head on your shoulder. "happy birthday, y/n," he said softly.
hours passed by as you talked to toji about your unforeseen disappearance. megumi had fallen asleep in your lap and you stroked his head. you told him about your 13th birthday, your parents death in a car crash... you left some things off the conversation. oh, how toji felt each word you said. he knew how ruthless families could be. his own was never kind to him. he told you about his scar in return, and how he felt insecure about it.
"it's kinda hot, if you ask me." seemed like you were back to being your normal self.
toji smirked. "i know. you wouldn't stop kissing it last night."
you smacked his chest with the back of your hand. but it brought you two to that conversation. toji wanted it off his chest.
"i like ya."
you looked at him, taking a shallow breath.
"not just 'cause we made out yesterday. i'm the worst person to talk about feelings and shit to, but... i got 'em. for you." toji was done with it. he didn't want to stretch it any further. not after the day you'd had.
you opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off, "sit with it for a while. ya don't need to answer me right now."
toji picked megumi up from your lap, carrying him in his arms. he pressed a soft, patient kiss to your lips. "belated happy birthday," he said against your lips, got up and left, leaving a large hole in your door.
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[ambient song y/n might vibe to: jeene mein aaye maza, by ankur tiwari]
you wandered aimlessly in the convenience store, picking up things and putting them back where they didn't belong. you circled the whole store thrice until the cashier asked you if something was wrong. paying for cheap beer and rice crackers you didn't even want, you left the store.
you walked home in the evening, head in the clouds. (a cloud shaped like toji)
he liked you. his words hammered in your mind like construction workers at the crack of dawn. girls usually felt giddy after hearing a boy confess to them. the fuck were you feeling? and why was it some kind of diarrhoea? you mind went back to how you'd kissed and how good it felt. there was no doubt that you found him attractive. you liked spending time with him. but did you like him? what even would you do if you did? date him? be his girlfriend? mother to his child? how did one go about dating an older man? if anything, he'd end up with another child.
you walked by a park, watching children playing (mostly falling), building sandcastles in the pit (and falling on them), running around chasing nothing (and falling), scurrying into their parents' arms (guess what).
did you want to be that to megumi? because being with toji meant being with megumi and being responsible for him.
you sat down on the pavement, sipping on beer that tasted like toothpaste, pondering over what kind of life you'd build for yourself. you were not interested in hook up culture. committed relationships were made to sound like life imprisonment sentences. the titles didn't apply to you and especially him. what would being with toji even look like? once your little quinn project comes to an end, what then? would he grab the cash and bolt? would he stay? would he stay anyway?
the more you sat and thought about it, the more things blurred. you thought it best not to overthink it. he did tell you to not rush an answer. but you were not the most patient of all people. the one thing you disliked was how things get awkward every time someone confesses their feelings out of the blue and the other has to be the dealbreaker.
you decided to do the rest of the thinking at home. the city was twinkling with christmas lights and decorations. it was always a wonderful sight to see. it made you want to travel to a quaint countryside only to realise your long lost love for the holiday season and family values as you broke into song about reuniting with your childh-yes, that hallmark movie.
when you entered through the gate to your building, you spotted megumi near the postboxes. a very uncomfortable megumi... in the arms of a woman you'd never seen. she looked rich. fur coat, pradas, sunglasses that covered her whole face like a covid shield. megumi so didn't want to be held like that. your gaze fell on toji, who... drumroll... had the exact same expression as his kid. as you walked in that direction you could hear the conversation.
"he likes me, don't you think?" PLEASE that's what rich people sound like?
"just put him down," toji sighed.
"no, i'm gonna steal him!!!" she giggled, shoving her face into megumi. he flinched and pushed himself away from her.
"aww, he's so playful... toji, why don't you invite me over for a drink?"
megumi wiggled like a worm in her arms, trying to escape her grip. he twisted like a pretzel until she had to put him down. but she held onto his hand tightly. that didn't go unnoticed by toji who was growing angrier every passing minute.
"come on... it'll be fun," she sneered.
"i gotta look after my kid." that was all he said.
"i'm sure he won't mind... right meggy? you'll let daddy and i play for a while, right?" megumi tried to pry her hands off, but she tugged at him harshly.
suddenly, all the diarrhoea made sense. the blur cleared. your eyes narrowed as you observed the audacious scene unfolding before you. something in your head snapped and you took purposeful steps towards her, and offensive gaze locked, devoid of any remorse.
swatting her hand off of megumi's, you put the kid behind you protectively. in a millisecond, your hand swung with conscious thought, as you smashed the beer bottle on her head. the glass shattered on her scalp, cutting through the background noise like a warning shot.
"not. your. kid."
caught between shock and appreciation for your sudden defence, toji covered his curled mouth with his palm. he looked at megumi, who stood behind you, holding the ends of your jacket. the kid looked back at his father, smirking mischievously. toji turned his cackling laughter into an asthmatic cough.
the woman couldn't take a hint even when it hit her in the skull.
"who do you think you are?"
"how dare you hit me? do you know who i am?"
"i'm talking to you!!! hello!!!??"
you let her run her mouth. you weren't interested in what she had to say. you looked down at megumi. you could see the faint red strip that circled his wrist. you knew how manipulative it was to use toji's kid as a means to get to him. you already befell his threat. but you understood it all of a sudden.
the honest urge to protect your kid.
the woman eventually stomped and left, mouthing cuss words at passersby.
"so... care to explain what that was?" asked toji, folding his hands, looking at you with fascination.
"my answer," you said with a smile as you held megumi's little hand, rubbing the back of it with your thumb.
toji smirked proudly.
"what happened here?" asked the building watchman, who heard about the act of violence from others who witnessed it.
"nothing interesting,"
"they're saying you harassed a woman," he was quick to throw an accusing glance at toji.
"nonsense! just some personal drama," you interrupted. "that's the father, this is his son."
"and that's the unholy spirit..." toji mumbled to the guard, earning a death glare from you.
the three of you walked towards the elevator. you handed megumi the rice crackers you bought and he wasted no time in digging in. toji put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer as he whispered in your ear, "what does a fella like me have to do to see you smash another bottle again?"
"flirt with another woman and i'll gladly smash one on your head."
toji's deep chuckle vibrated in your ear.
megumi dragged you inside their house to show you his new sketches. he'd really outdone himself. he'd also made his father hang all the small drawings on the christmas tree they had in their living room. toji was glad that he'd found something to occupy himself with. not that he didn't want to spend time with the kid, but seeing him not get overly attached to a single parent relieved the giant weight on his shoulders.
"mmm! gumi, i have a gift for you."
megumi trotted to you like a puppy, eyes twinkling like stars.
"you're gonna spoil him."
"correct."
you gave him a cd. "i wrote you a song." megumi clutched the cd like a prized trophy. he opened the case and showed his father the cd. you'd chased down your producer's sales guy to put one of megumi's sketches as the cd cover.
"when did you even have time to do this?"
"last night. and today morning."
"you didn't sleep?"
you looked away from him, perfectly expecting a fatherly scolding. instead, toji just chortled. he left megumi to listen to your song on a loop as the two of you went to your apartment. (sorry megs, but this is a toji x y/n)
you closed the door, swearing that the hole where your doorknob used to be was getting bigger by each minute. not a moment later, toji had his arms wrapped around you, his mouth on yours. you dropped the grocery bags on the floor and threw your hands around his neck. bumping into nearly every piece of furniture along the way, you sauntered into your room, lips glued to each other. he kissed you like it was the last thing he could do in the world and you kissed him like it was the first thing you wanted to do before anything else.
"mmm... hold on," toji pulled away momentarily and said, "promise me one thing."
"what?"
"you don't disappear when shit hits the fan. you come talk to me."
you felt guilt churn inside you, recalling how you'd left toji and megumi to wonder what 'they' had done wrong to make you go distant.
you nodded. "i promise."
toji held you in his arms for a while, taking a look at your face. he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and you winced.
"ow! careful, i just got my ear pierced."
toji raised his eyebrows. he pushed your hair aside and saw a helix piercing, the edge of your ear pink and slightly swollen.
"that looks like it hurt."
"oh, it did."
"then why'd ya get it?"
"i always get piercings on my birthday."
"why?" toji honestly didn't understand this form of self-harm.
"what can i say, buddy, i love getting stabbed..." you said plainly, backing away and took your shoes off.
toji snorted a laugh at your comment. "masochist."
"aww, big man uses big words now..." you said, keeping your shoes under your bed. toji simply slapped your ass.
"sadist."
"by the way, i added some background noises to our recording. it sounds so good!"
"oh? let's hear it then," said toji, sitting down on your bed. he was glad to see you be your usual confident self. last night had him tensed with worry. even though he wasn't the source of your pain, he couldn't imagine how lonely you must've felt spending your birthday crying as life wickedly toasted to your parent's death, scarring the one day you were supposed to own with pride.
you made him listen to some excerpts, but ended up talking over them anyway, excitedly telling him how smartly you had edited some things. he just watched you with a small smile. whenever you turned to face him, his eyes fell on your piercing. he counted how many you had. nine. marking nine years of an anniversary nobody would want to remember like this. four piercings on each ear and one in your nose. did you really need the pain to validate your broken heart? did it make you feel like you deserved it?
he dismissed those thoughts from his head. it was your decision. and you bore it like an ornament, and not a scar. plus, he now that he fully took your face in, he couldn't deny hot incredibly hot those piercings looked on you. the thought of you sitting through that and showing off your piercings made his stomach flip. seriously, how much more hot could you get?
as if to answer his question, your recording played in his ear, some scene at a party with your characters failing to keep their hands to themselves. his voice blended with yours like the perfect duet. the way you spoke, changing your tone, pitch, hell, even your little laugh to suit your character made him feral. he wanted to hear you more. but not for some recording. he wanted to hear you for himself.
the moment the recording ended, toji pounced on you, grabbing your neck, careful not to hurt your ear as he kissed you roughly. you gasped, but melted on the spot. you liked where this was going anyway. toji moved his lips along yours, nibbling at you mouth. he let you catch a breath, before shoving his tongue inside, only for it to hitch again.
he pushed you into your bed, immediately hovering over you. he let his hands run up and down your legs. you hummed under his touch. he felt you shuffle underneath. he pulled away for a moment to watch you sneak your phone out of the pocket, finger pressed on a red dot.
"you wanna give your fans a show, baby?" he murmured.
"nuh uh, this is for me," you panted.
toji smirked. "gotta make this good then..." he peppered kiss on your neck, sucking on your skin. he could smell that god awful coconut perfume. to ease the weight his humongous body dumped on you, he shoved his knee between your legs, hoisting himself over you properly. you practically moaned in his mouth at the feeling of his knee rubbing against you. you had no idea what to do with your hands, so you just let them stay on your stomach lifelessly.
toji broke the kiss once more, chuckling at the whine that escaped from your mouth.
"so needy..." he growled, taking his shirt off with one hand. your jaw hung open as you took him in. the way he towered you even when sitting on his knees made him seem almost... monstrous.
toji only it thought it fair to get rid of your clothes too. he held your waist and pulled you to him, hoisting you on his lap. he took your jacket off, throwing it on the floor.
"be careful with the shirt. it's vivienne westwood."
"strip then."
slowly, taking the sweet time of your life, you pulled the shirt off, turning it right side up and neatly folded it, placing it at the far end of your bed.
"you done, sweetie?" he cooed in your ear.
"done."
"lovely. put your hands to use." he had you folded under him, back on the bed, kisses getting rougher, wetter, messier. you clawed at his shoulder, back, neck, chest, every part of him that you could touch. he licked a particular spot just under your ear that made you mewl in pleasure. like a vampire, toji bit your neck, causing you to moan softly.
his free hand unclasped your bra and tossed it away.
"would it kill you to not throw my clothes here and there?"
"thought you liked it violent, baby..." he murmured in your ear, biting a hickey on your neck. he kept switching between kissing your lips and sucking at your neck while he played with your tits, squeezing them, pinching them, kneading them like dough. he was right. they did fit in his hands perfectly. he latched his mouth onto one, making you squirm under him.
toji was absorbing your body. he felt bold; bold to take what he wanted from you. well, what he wanted was you. your body, your hips, your mouth, all of it. he wanted to show you just how desirable you were to him.
the hand that roamed your waist slowly trailed down your cargo pants. you didn't even realise when he took them off, but it was good anyway. less is more.
at an agonisingly slow pace, the tips of his fingers teased you over your panties. toji took a look at you, covered in his marks, lips pink and swollen.
he chuckled, "just how many of these stupid panties do you have?"
"I FUCKING KNEW IT. PANTY THIEF!" you smacked his abs.
"they're mine now," toji murmured as back away, spreading your legs apart with his hands, grabbing at your thighs. he kissed your inner thigh languorously making his way down to your wet cunt. he took your panties off, once more putting them back in his pockets. he dipped two of is fingers inside slowly, as if he was learning about your body. he watched your every reaction, every quiver, every hitched breath as he took his time and prepped you for himself. he curled his fingers at an optimal spot and like a cat on heat, you mewled and your legs shut tight around his hand.
"uh uh uh, i need these legs wide open, darling." he knew how much you liked it when he said that. when you didn't spread them, he smacked a hard slap on your hip, causing you to gasp and giggle as you did as directed.
"don't be a brat."
"or what?"
toji didn't retort. instead, he dove straight into your cunt, painting your insides with long strokes with his tongue. he paired it with his forefinger running up and down, inside and out, pushing against your clit. hearing you whimper and pant just made him want to tease you. recording all those dirty audios with you had him gain a mind in the game. like an illusionist, his hands disappeared and he pulled away, making you pine for him.
"toji fushiguro, i will smash a bottle on your head if you ever take your mouth off me like that again..." god, you sounded so sexy.
"ya know... it makes my dick hard when you talk to me like that."
you crunched forward and grabbed his hair, pulling him back to your pussy. toji chuckled, resuming eating you out like a man starved for days.
"oh i bet it does," you said breathlessly, throwing a few more slurred taunts his way. toji extended his free hand and shoved two of his fingers in your mouth.
"put that mouth to use, brat." he groaned in pleasure feeling your tongue swirl around his fingers, sucking them, gently biting them whenever he lapped at your cunt the right away. even with his fingers stuffed in your mouth, he could hear your muffled moans loudly. he sped his pace, slipping his fingers in and out of you, lapping at your core. he felt you clench and he took it as an open invitation to increase the pressure. you let out a long, stretched moan as you gushed all over his chin.
"is this what you ladies call girl dinner?" toji took his fingers out of you, licking them and tasting you, smacking his lips.
you laughed, throwing your head back.
"ugh, shut up."
"make me," you commented, practically waltzing into the man's next plan for you. toji's hand wrapped around your throat as he pulled you up as if you weight nothing. he got off the bed, standing in front of you as you were on all fours.
"gladly," toji slid his pants and boxers down, freeing his hard-as-a-rock girth.
"this isn't fair, toji," you cried at the size of it.
"i know, baby..." he gripped your chin with his fingers, nearly crushing your jaw. you looked up at him and seeing you on your knees for him lit a fire within him.
playfully you licked his wet lip like a kitten...
"cute. but that's not gonna cut it, sweetheart."
"i'll have you know i won the popsicle eating contest in my college..."
toji chuckled, holding his cock out to your face and smacked it against your lips. "gonna keep me waitin'?"
you took his head in your mouth, swirling your tongue around it, letting the tip run between the faint slit. you bobbed your head a few times, adjusting to his length and width. you'd be grateful to have a jaw left by the time you've sucked him dry. you took his length in your, stroking what you couldn't. you felt his cock twitch and pulsate in your mouth.
"god, you're doing so well..." toji reached forward, accidentally thrusting more of his dick in your mouth, making you whimper. he picked up your phone, which had been recording every lewd sound you made and he held it by his hip. "you sound so... fucking perfect, baby... gagging over my dick like that."
he pushed your hair aside, gripping it tightly as he pushed your head further in, moaning at how good it felt to have you take damn nearly all of him.
"fuck... shit.... s' good" toji let a buffet of grunts and moans spill out of his mouth. first, because he you took him that well, and second because he wanted you to get off to his voice, just like he did to yours. he began thrusting into your mouth faster, feeling his release creeping its way up. had he known how easy it was for him to come just by getting a quick blowjob, he'd have put more work into the foreplay. but fuck, he loved every damn moment of it. how your mouth was wet and warm, how your pointed tongue knew just where to lick, how your cheeks hollowed to pull him in.
"keep going, baby... i'm almost there," he panted, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back, hips moving at a brutal pace. his mind went to you eating a popsicle for some reason and he laughed, paving the way for a guttural moan that rumbled through his mouth as he came into your mouth. you closed your eyes, letting the uncomfortable feeling pass away as you managed to swallow the barrel full of cum he just shot into your mouth.
toji pulled out, feeling euphoric. he was completely obsessed with you. he wanted to take your right there. he wanted to be inside you. fuck, he wanted to see how loud you could get for him.
a knock on your main door and a small voice calling out to toji snapped you back to your senses.
"what a cockblock," toji sighed.
you threw a pillow at him. "that's your adorable birthday boy you're talking about!"
toji changed back into his clothes, refusing to give you your panties back, earning another pillow to his face. he looked at you to make sure you still didn't have second thoughts about him. but there you were, effortlessly moving around the room, picking up the pieces of clothing he'd tossed here and there. he loved how much fun you had doing all these things with him. it made the experience twice as much worth it.
you changed into your pyjamas and led toji out of your bedroom.
"does it say 'juicy' on your ass?" he said, reading the glittery text on your pants.
"ya bet it does," you smacked your own ass, proud of your sense of fashion, no matter how ridiculous it was.
"gonna fuck that ass someday."
"fix my door first." you peeked through the hole in your door, looking at the top of megumi's hair.
you opened the door to see megumi standing in his pyjamas, holding his demon dog, yawning.
"awww, sorry for keeping your dad for so long."
megumi yawned again, nodding.
"she sang a song for me too, you know..." said toji, picking up his sleepy kid, giving you a wink. you kicked his ass, making him stagger out of your house.
"good night."
"good night..." you smiled at the two.
ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊
TAGLIST: @kaininety2 @ruixrei @chicken-fifi @mrsfush1guro @szillx @queendessi24 @sillysillygoofygoose @shadowmoonlight0604
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watermelonsugacry · 10 months
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can we plsss get harry’s reaction when y/n first sang the nonsense outro about him??
i love this series so much!!!
A/N: so this happened pre-married!ynrry !!
Despite the massive arena, fans were quick to spot Harry, Jeff, and Jenny (YN's manager) in their seats reserved for family and friends. He puts a hand over his heart, blows some kisses, and gives some friendly waves at some excited fans surrounding him.
There's no question about how much fans love to see the two at each other's shows. Despite the struggle of having to split their attention between the one on stage and the one in the audience, it's all worth it when seeing the two at the same show.
Throughout the night, Harry's been dancing in his spot, singing along to every song, a red solo cup in his hand--all while looking fondly at his fiancée on stage.
Tonight is especially a good night since it's the first night YN plans on singing Nonsense live with Harry in the audience. She's already sung the unreleased song a small handful of times and it never fails to put a smile on her face to see the fans go crazy when it pops up on the setlist.
She shouldn't be surprised by the crowd already knowing the lyrics and screaming/singing them back to her. But there's no denying that the most anticipated part of the song is when YN creates outros that are tailored around whatever city she's in. Tonight was no different. Tonight, she wrote a little something special for this show in particular.
So when the song comes to a close, YN makes sure to walk on the side of the catwalk where her fiancé stands with her favorite dimpled smile.
You might know me as that girl from 1D.
Fell in love with one of them named Harry.
Putain je t'aime tellement, Paris (I fucking love you so much, Paris)
After singing her lines, YN puts her hands in the air with a cheeky smile as the audience erupts into a fit of screams. Both of their manager's jaws drop, simultaneously leaning over to look at Harry in excitement.
At her second line, Harry had cheekily turned his head with a smile and raised brows. But by the end of the song, he hides his pink, bashful cheeks in his hands as Jeff shakes his shoulders. Jenny cheers along with the loud crowd, pointing out Harry's shy reaction.
"Did yeh like that one?" YN eagerly asks her love, cutely leaning to the side like she's trying to peak around his hand shield. She lets out a giggle when she receives a blown kiss and two thumbs up from him. Despite the low lights in the audience, close fans can see how his cheeks still cling to the blush.
It's quite a sight to see him act so shy about her relatively tame lyrics given that he's written countless songs about her with various sexual nuances. But oh how the tables turn when he's on the other end.
"Good. Wrote that one just for you, babe," She holds up a finger gun with a wink and a clink of her tongue. She spins on her heel to turn her attention back to the rest of the audience but it doesn't last very long once the fans begin to bark and hoot at Harry.
"Oi! This isn't about him anymore," YN playfully scolds but she can't help but join in as she pumps her fist beside her. "Alright, alright. We better stop before it gets to his head. His egos already big enough."
Despite the arena being to loud to actually hear it, everyone can practically hear his offended 'heyy' with that pinch in his brows.
.
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