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restlessmaknae · 1 year

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never forever [jinyoung]

Just as much as you would have liked to delude yourself into thinking that you could have anything together with prince Jinyoung, it would be simply impossible as long as you were a servant and he was a prince. Which meant that you could never do so.

➳ Characters: prince!Jinyoung x female court lady!reader/you

➳ Genre: romance, angst, fantasy, magical realism, kingdom au

➳ Words: 11.8k

➳ Warning: mentions of minor character deaths, poison, political tension, attacks

➳ A/N: This story had the most votes in my poll, so I hope it lives up to your expectations. 🥰 It can be read on its own or with Seunghun's story that took place before this one. ❤️

➳ CIX taglist: @wccycc, @dat-town

When you had been younger, your favourite word had been ‘forever’. Warmth had always invaded your heart when you thought of this particular word, and how your parents had promised each other that they would love each other forever. Your mother had told you multiple times too that her love was not only infinite towards your father but you as well. Forever was like a precious friend to you, a little gem that you would try to keep safe as much as you could, holding it close to your heart, holding it dear.

Then, forever had turned to never when your mother had died. When you had realised that you would never see her again, your world had shattered, the little gem slipping through your fingers, falling to the ground and breaking into tiny pieces. Even though your father had reassured you that your mother would love you even from the spirit realm, you hadn’t been convinced because forever had seemed so far away. You had decided that it was stupid to have a word that didn’t make sense. After all, forever didn’t exist.

You had been 6 at that time. Your mother had been a lady-in-waiting to the Queen at the royal palace, so you hadn’t seen her during the week, only on the weekend. You had spent your days at home reading books and practising writing while your father had been teaching his pupils in a different room. He had been a great scholar, teaching those at your home who could not afford the institutions he had taught at most of the time. For some time, you had resented the royal family for keeping your mother away from you when you had known all too well that your mother had been deeply grateful for the royal court for providing her with a high status job and a very decent pay that allowed her to shower you in gifts.

On the other hand, when your mother had died, and the court had organised your mother a funeral, more glorious (thus more heart-wrenching) than you could have ever imagined, your feelings had completely changed. When the Queen had come up to you afterwards and lowered herself down to be at eye-level with you (disregarding the gasps from the court ladies around her, warning her of her dress potentially becoming smudged because of the muddy ground), your tears had fallen even more fervently. You had wanted nothing more than to hide during the ceremony, so to be seen and acknowledged by the Queen herself brought on a handful of different emotions.

“When I was around your age, I also lost my mother. I thought of it as a great shame on top of being a great loss. A young girl growing up without a mother? I thought people wouldn’t take me seriously, they wouldn’t look at me for who I am, they would always see the girl without a mother,” she had shared, and you had watched her with tears streaming down your face, your mouth slightly agape. You hadn’t heard of the Queen losing her mother at such a young age, but you had been young, and your parents hadn’t told you stories about the royal family back then.

“And they did?” You had asked between little sobs that reverberated through your body.

The Queen had given you a gentle smile, and you had wondered if all mothers smiled the same - so lovingly, so forgivingly, so reassuringly. Her smile hadn’t been exactly like your mother’s, but you could feel the genuine affectionate behind the delicate curve of her lips, something that mirrored your own mother’s. The kind of smile that parents gave you when you admitted that you did something wrong, but all that mattered to them was that you were safe and sound.

“No,” she had shaken her head. “I proved them wrong, and I showed them what I can do regardless of what happened. You can do, too,” she had added so confidently that your little heart had welcomed the undeniable hope that her words had brought along, newfound warmth spreading through your veins until you had realised that…

“But… I am not a royal.”

“Where you come from doesn’t matter, whether you have a positive impact on just one person or a whole nation doesn’t matter either. You are valuable as you are,” the Queen had pointed out, her words like a wise scholar’s. You had just blinked at her, wide-eyed and amazed, and you hadn’t even realised that you had stopped crying in the meantime, you had been so focused on what she had been saying.

You had been so awestruck that you couldn’t have spoken up, and you didn’t remember whether it had been what had prompted the Queen to bid her goodbye or she had been told by her court ladies to presume her duties for the day, but you remembered one thing very clearly.

That day, you had decided that you would have a positive impact on the Queen’s life, and you would try to be there for her just as much as she had been there for you at that time. So when a year later, the royal court had announced that they would hold their annual recruitment day for new servants, you had applied.

You had read every book on royal etiquette, you had learned embroidery, sewing and all sorts of activities that might be tested during the recruitment process in that year, determined on making the cut. You hadn’t even been the youngest candidate, there had been girls as young as 5 trying to secure a future for themselves (or more like pressured by their families), but you had been dedicated for a different reason: to serve the royal family and to repay them for all they had done for your family including sending your mother on her last journey so graciously.

Even though you hadn’t succeeded on the first try, you had done so a year later. Since then, you had been trying to live up to your mother’s memory, hoping that she would be proud of how you were serving the royal family, living to make their lives as comfortable as possible, living for them.

Little did you know, one day, that would be the exact same reason you would feel so torn to fall in love.

The first few years at the palace, you spent learning. Then, you applied what you learned. Then, you practised everything over and over again until you wouldn’t make a mistake. Finally, as years went by, your service to the palace became a valuable treasure, an important part of the operations. Your loyalty and diligence meant that you were keen on doing the best you could, and your perseverance didn’t waver even in hard times.

However, no matter the many lessons and learnings during those years, the greatest teacher and the dearest compliment you could get for your hard work was when you could upgrade your rank. After 15 years of service and being over the age of 20 meant that you could rightfully start serving one of the royal family members directly or one of those who stayed at the palace. For instance, a few girls who were at the congratulatory ceremony beside you would assist the royalty that were visiting the palace from time to time, and two of those now stayed beside a princess who came from a kingdom further up north, who was currently spending her time in exile at your court. Due to the trade agreements and favourable business partnerships, it wasn’t uncommon to provide a shelter or a hiding place for those who came from different kingdoms, but couldn’t stay in their own residence for whatever reason.

You, on the other hand, were assigned to the Queen herself, and even though you would never brag about your conversation with the Queen at your mother’s funeral ceremony, you knew that the smile she gave you when she handed you your new gown and your matching hairpin - engraved with a lotus symbol for prosperity and a dragon mimicking the ones that guarded the palace for safety - was telling tales about her positive feelings towards your future services.

After an elderly lady-in-waiting had passed away, two female servants took her place including you. You knew that you were still fairly young compared to the other court ladies, but you had been serving at the palace for so long already, and you excelled at every task they had given you. You knew though that the major reason that you had been assigned to the Queen was because you could read and write well, something that would be needed to discreetly handle the letters the Queen received and sent.

However, following the Queen almost everywhere meant that you had more interactions with the other royal family members and those who were close to them - soldiers in higher up ranks, master magicians and magical creature tamers. In passing by, you caught glimpses of the royal family members while serving them in the past years, but that couldn’t be compared to the experience of being in the same room with them, to see them from up-close.

When you first accompanied the Queen to the practise field where prince Jinyoung was receiving his training, you realised that he still lived in your memories as someone around your height with a cheeky smile when he was running around the court, making his nannies run after him, and you were taken aback by his height and his built now. He was tall and slender, but when he reached his sword out to attack, his muscles clearly showed through the thin fabric he wore. Drops of sweat rolled down his cheeks while he was concentrating, and his features were solemn and hard.

His practice partner was Seunghun - a soldier you saw around the court frequently. Rumour had it that he was courting one of the medics, but you didn’t know whether to believe that because all sorts of gossip were flying around. Besides, others’ love life was none of your business, but since you and Seunghun had joined the court around the same time, you knew him and his way of talking to the ladies - all smooth and flirtatious. He had that cheekiness to him even when he was younger, no wonder he was on good terms with the prince.

The Queen halted by the side of the field, and you did, too, a few steps away from her. The prince and the soldier were so engrossed in their practice battle that they didn’t even take notice of her presence until they finished with their round of sword fight, Seunghun coming out as the winner.

“What is the purpose of today’s practice?” The Queen raised her voice, confident and unwavering, while looking at the boys. Seunghun didn’t fail to bow upon seeing her, but his grin was still a bit cocky when he helped the prince to his feet.

“Just some… friendly duel, Your Majesty,” he answered joyfully, and he patted the prince’s shoulder when prince Jinyoung straightened up. “Even if he were to be seriously hurt, one of our great medics would tend to his wounds,” he added in a friendly manner, but you could hear the Queen’s voice hardening when she spoke up.

“Not so much if he can help it himself.”

“Of course,” the soldier’s smile faded immediately, and he bowed his head apologetically. Prince Jinyoung tensed a bit beside his friend, but his eyes were trained on his mother, not on his friend. You didn’t spend enough time around him to tell what his eyes could show, but you had a feeling that he wasn’t that delighted about the Queen’s words. If your assumption about his power was right, you knew why.

“Well then, keep going,” the Queen made a waving gesture with her hands, indicating that they could move on, and turned on her heels to head back to the palace. You bowed to the prince and soldier alongside the other servants, signalling your departure.

Afterwards, you waited for the older ladies to follow suit as they were the first to follow behind, you were supposed to be the last as you were the youngest one. Even though your rank was the same as theirs, age order was still important.

You took a few steps forward when you felt your hair loosen, and you instinctively reached for the back of your neck, gasping when you couldn’t feel your hairpin. You were about to turn around just at the same time as a figure slid into your vision, and put your lotus and dragon carved hairpin into your hands. It was for the briefest of a second, so was his rough touch, but you felt like you could feel the ghost of it on your skin even after he yanked it away.

Your eyes frantically went to the figure’s face, and you were about to open your mouth to thank him, but he put his index finger on his lips. Why couldn’t you thank prince Jinyoung for helping you out? Why wouldn’t you?

You were so baffled by his indication that words died on the tip of your tongue, and he was out of your reach as quickly as he ran up to you, so there was no way you could go after him. You were already behind the other servants, so you needed to catch up to them.

However, as you were hurrying after them, you looked back at the field, the prince and the soldier already in another round of a fight, no remains of the recent incident, only the ghost of his touch on your hand and the mystery in his pitch-black eyes when he handed you your hairpin.

In a magical kingdom like yours, you were grateful that you could be of help to the royal family even though you didn’t possess magic. The magic in your kingdom lied in healing, hence there were two types of medicine in your kingdom: magical and non-magical medicine. Magical medicine was mostly used on the members of the royal court including the royal family and the royal army, plus magical creatures that lived in the woods or in the mountains - such as fairies, unicorns and such - or serving the kingdom - such as dragons guarding the palace.

Non-magical medicine, on the other hand, was used on humans to treat their wounds, and that was what most medics practised outside of the palace, though it was applicable at the court as well in non-emergency cases and subtle illnesses. Magical medicine was also extremely rare since only magical practitioners could deal with it because they were the ones born with the ability to tame magic, but even they needed thorough practice and extensive training to be able to make use of their abilities to their full potential. Magical medics were also almost exclusively serving at the palace. The royal family was also said to be possessing magic in their veins, though they didn’t have to use it on themselves because the most powerful magicians were already in their court, serving them.

Neither of your ancestors had magic, so it was unlikely that you would, but having a scholar as a father and a royal servant as a mother meant that you knew that you could use other skills and strengths to your advantage, so you never felt any less than those who were born with magic. You were merely in awe at what some people could do, and when you could see for yourself how magical medics worked at the palace, you were mesmerised. Even if the Queen had a headache, not a physical injury, all the medic needed to do was place their hands above her core - the centre of her energy - and she was healed, though advised rest for the night.

For that reason, you could leave the Queen’s chamber earlier than usual after helping her to bed, and while the rest of the ladies were heading to their own rooms in the courtyard, you were staying back to stroll around the garden that separated the palace from the court. A part of the garden was reserved for the royal family only, but the other was accessible by everyone, and you liked walking around the pond dotted with a palette of colours, a different type of fish hiding behind each distinctly shaped creature, water lilies breaking the smooth surface of the water and lanterns lighting up the sideways like little stars on the sky.

When you walked these parts of the palace, you wondered if your mother had been the same. She hadn’t really talked about her time at the palace - what she was doing when she wasn’t on duty, how the place looked like and what was her favourite part of the court -, if she did, she only talked about the Queen and her admiration towards the woman. Ever since being part of the court though, you couldn’t help but imagine your mother walking down the same path, looking at the little bridge connecting the path to a pavilion as you did now, walking the same corridors and feeling the same sense of belonging as you did now.

“I hope you’re proud of me, mother,” you mumbled to the dark sky above you that seemed like a blanket covering the palace grounds, your words carried away by the gentle breeze of this fine spring night. You hoped that she was at peace in the spirit realm, and looked over you fondly. No matter how many years had passed by, there was still a part of you that missed her.

With a resigned sigh, you looked down at the pond in front of you, and decided to leave. However, as you were about to walk back, you crossed paths with prince Jinyoung who seemed to be walking around as well. You were surprised that he was alone, no soldiers guarding him, but maybe he had time to himself at these late hours just like the Queen did after you left her in her chambers.

“Your Highness,” you greeted him immediately, bowing out of respect. When you straightened your back, you looked up at the prince, and he was already looking at you, his deep, dark eyes boring into yours. It seemed that he was about to say something, but he changed his mind, and pressed his lips into a thin line. You blinked up at him, uncertain what to do or what to say for it was scarce that you were alone with a royal family member. In fact, it was the first time that it was just the two of you, and the thought sent a shiver down your spine.

“Are you done for the day?” Prince Jinyoung broke the silence after clearing his throat, and your heart was both heavy and light upon his question. You didn’t know what you had expected him to say or if you had expected anything, but his inquiry still caught you off-guard. In a positive way.

“Yes, Your Highness.”

He bobbed his head, acknowledging your words, and you had a feeling that he wanted to say something but couldn’t this time either. Or maybe it was because he seemed so out of reach usually; the mighty, ethereal prince Jinyoung who was said to be cool-headed and reasonable, a great fighter and a hard-worker in whatever he did. He was said to excel in everything, making him the perfect heir to the throne. From a young age, he had the watching eyes of the people, the weight of the kingdom’s future on his shoulders, and a responsibility that could crush anyone, let alone a boy so young. In passing, he had always seemed so composed, knowing exactly what to do and what to say, and you had heard only good things about him.

On the other hand, he seemed so humane now. A human being searching for the right words to say with secrets in his heart and mysteries in his eyes. Libraries of tales were about him, but when he was standing there in front of you in his white royal attire, he seemed nothing more than a boy around your age. The thought soothed your nerves and scared you at the same time.

You shouldn’t look at him that way, you work for the royal family after all.

“Well then…” You broke the silence that fell upon the two of you, bringing him out of whatever stupor he was under. “Good night, Your Highness!” You bowed yet again, ready to continue your walk to the court.

Nonetheless, before you were out of hearing range, the prince spoke up, though his eyes weren’t trained on you, but on the pond in front of him.

“Your mother would be proud.”

The words made you halt and turn to the prince who was examining the water as if he was pondering how to describe the sight properly. The lanterns lit up the way of the footpath, and amongst them, one was shining directly onto him, and now with you in the shadows of a nearby tree, and him in the light, you wondered how the two of you from two different worlds could be having this conversation now.

“How… How do you know about my mother?” You blinked in confusion. You didn’t believe that he could have heard you before, but maybe he could.

“You are not the only one who likes to go to the pond late at night,” he replied without any shame or any cheekiness in his voice as he turned towards you, and even though you were further away than before, you could see the end of his lips curling upwards. Before you could grasp onto this moment though, the prince turned on his heel and walked towards the pavilion, walking away from you and from the light that was shining onto him.

Afterwards, it happened a few more times that you and prince Jinyoung met in the garden, around the pond. Truthfully, when you hadn’t been serving the Queen, and you had been working in the courtyard instead of the palace, you had come to the pond, but not so late at night. However, it felt good to take a bit of a walk somewhere aside from the walls within the palace, and the garden was truly mesmerising under the moonlight. So you could believe that you hadn’t crossed paths with the prince before because you had been walking around at different times.

On the other hand, despite knowing that you might meet him in the garden these days, you didn’t back away. After all, you weren’t doing anything shameful, and no one else was around, so rumours couldn’t fly around regarding you two. At least, you tried to tell yourself such reasonable words, but you were conflicted just how far this could go. A court lady and a prince talking late at night around the pond? No matter how many times you told yourself that this wasn’t wrong, you felt oddly at unease whenever you heard something crackling or murmurs rippling the night air - even from far away.

Yet, when you were in the act of talking to the prince, you couldn’t feel more at ease. Talking to him felt natural and he didn’t seem so distant while sharing stories with you even though you two came from very different backgrounds. Beside you, he seemed like a boy turning into a young man, knowing the responsibilities of his actions yet letting the childish side in him come to the surface when his duties didn’t call for something else.

Not to mention that it was, in a way, fluttering to be able to talk to him in the first place, let alone get to know him. You realised that he was both very different and not so different from you. He didn’t care about your rank, or that you might tell others about what he was telling you because he trusted you enough, and you trusted him the same. Maybe this was why he was open to talk about the disruptions in the kingdom, and how much the royal family would try to protect peace within its borders.

And maybe this was why he wanted to let you know about the secret you had suspected some time ago.

“The truth is, I don’t have magic,” he blurted out one time after silence had taken over the two of you.

You had been looking at the ripples across the pond, watching the many colours dance under its surface, hiding fish in all shapes and sizes, but your eyes found their way to the prince’s delicate features when he spoke up. He looked ahead of himself, his lips pressed into a thin line, and it wasn’t a different image from his usual self. However, instead of his hands resting in his lap, his hands were balled into fists, clutching a part of his snow-white robe.

“Why… why are you telling me this?”

You tried to keep your voice as gentle as possible because you had a feeling that this was a confession that must have been living in his heart for so long, trying to break out, but it was a caged creature - forced within the bars by his family more than himself. Even though not all of the members of a family had magic if one person possessed it since it wasn’t hereditary, it seemed that the royal family wanted it to be true since the King had magic in his veins, and princess Jinhee was said to possess it, too. However, you had a feeling that prince Jinyoung didn’t do so because you had never heard him use it whereas princess Jinhee was frequently praised for her skills.

What was more heartbreaking than this was the fact that the Queen tried so hard to hide his lack of magic - as you had experienced it on the training field when she had claimed that prince Jinyoung would take care of his wounds if he got hurt -, and maybe it was because she came from a different kingdom and thus didn’t have magic, but you had a feeling that she didn’t know the weight of her actions. She didn’t realise how much she was denying something that the prince didn’t wish to talk about to begin with.

You didn’t act like a fool, that’s why you didn’t ask him if it was true for you had a feeling for some time, and he seemed to notice that, too.

“Because I know you’ve figured it out yourself, and it feels good to tell someone else about it apart from my friends,” he explained as he averted his eyes from the scenery to you, and you gulped when you saw the hurt in his pitch-black orbs. Maybe it was that you mistook his pain for secrecy before, but now instead of a stern, out of reach, almighty prince, all you could see was a boy grieving something that had never been his, feeling guilty for something he had no control over and being vulnerable to someone who shouldn’t have mattered to him.

Yet, since he was willing to share his secret with you, you didn’t want to think about whether it was right or wrong. Instead, you wanted to be there for him, comforting him with words.

“You aren’t any less because you don’t have magic, Your Highness,” you whispered to him, afraid that your words might open up his wound instead of tending to it, but he didn’t seem to take it to heart.

“And you aren’t any less because you’ve grown up without a mother,” he added similarly quietly, and you felt your heart drop. You were about to say something, but then, you closed your mouth, pondering how to word this feeling. “See. It’s difficult to believe it no matter how many times others tell you.”

It was difficult, he was right, but you assumed that no one really knew how much the absence of your mother still impacted you, and the way you thought of yourself. He did, it seemed. He might have been reserved and didn’t like to pry in other’s business, but he was perceptive, even more than you would have thought so.

“How do you… Why does it feel like you know me so well, Your Highness?” You furrowed your eyebrows, not accusing, merely curious. Prince Jinyoung, as if he was waiting for you to confirm, let his lips curl a bit upwards before leaning a bit closer to you, as if he was telling a secret.

“I’ve told you. I’ve heard you talk to yourself at this pond. I just never wanted to interrupt you,” he explained matter-of-factly, but that was not enough for you. You didn’t know what took hold of you, but you were persistent, so you asked:

“So why tell me now?”

Prince Jinyoung looked back at the pond, then shrugged his shoulders. After some silence, you decided to drop the topic, and excused yourself to head to your room instead. Your heart was in mayhem already, you didn’t want to continue this dance that had started between you two because you were afraid that all it took was a few more turns to fall into his arms, to fall into him.

Thankfully, he didn’t hold you back, nor did he come with you, so you could walk to the courtyard, your heart still hammering in your chest. That's how you missed him saying to himself after you had left:

“Because you aren’t that unreachable now.”

The fact that you served the Queen directly meant that you knew more about the kingdom’s business affairs than before as the royal family including the King, the Queen, prince Jinyoung and princess Jinhee often attended business meetings with and without the royal council. It was said that it was, so that they knew exactly what was going on in the kingdom, and it was a merit for the children of the royal couple as well. Trading, business affairs and politics were fields that prince Jinyoung would be involved in as the future heir, and princess Jinhee would be considered a knowledgeable young lady if she knew of such topics, making her an even better wife candidate. When the council had a meeting, you were supposed to wait outside along with the other servants, but when it was just the royal family members, you could stay inside and possibly help the Queen to write letters and contracts for her or to read them for her.

The main issue these days was the unjustifiable attacks on a royal carriage sometime ago and a recent revolt near the borders - both lead to the assumption that rebels from the nearby kingdom were behind the attacks. It wasn’t very concerning for now, but the royal family wanted to be prepared for every scenario, and they tried to put out the fire before it could burn down their reputation. That’s how you found yourself accompanying the Queen and princess Jinhee to visit Naturalia that offered favourable trade in exchange for the princess marrying into the family.

You, a few other servants, soldiers from the royal army and two magic medics - including Byounggon whom you frequently saw around prince Jinyoung - accompanied you, so you ended up going in three different carriages, and the plan was to stay for two days and one night. You tried not to look around too much, but you hadn’t travelled outside of the kingdom before because you had started working at the palace from such a young age, and this particular kingdom boosted the magic of nature, so all kinds of surfaces were covered in colourful plants, vivid trees and rainbow-like herbs. You had read that there were people who regularly went to collect such magical plants, but the trading of their magic was limited to their kingdom only. Unless princess Jinhee would marry prince Jaehyeong.

However, your awe was cut short when upon the introductory tour around the palace, you were invited for some tea, and the servant - Hyeri - who tried the so-called immunity boosting drink to test it before the royal family would do so started gasping for air.

“What is it? What is the problem?” The Queen immediately rose to her feet, but you and another court lady were already there to hold onto the woman whose face turned purple. She looked like she was struggling to breathe, constantly hitting her chest with her balled fists and struggling to keep upright.

Bewildered, you found yourself hyperventilating for a moment, but then, you tried to remember what your father had always said. Do something about a problem first, and panic only if the consequences are not in your favour.

“I’ll call for the medics,” you suggested hastily, almost falling over your feet as you picked up the hem of your robe and ran out of the dining room to call for the two medics who were stationed outside in the hall. You quickly explained the situation, but they didn’t waste time either, they immediately came rushing with you. By that time, the woman was already on the floor, lying seemingly unconscious.

You felt your heart beating wildly against your ribcage, like a wild horse that didn’t know where to go in the unfamiliar woods. You couldn’t help but think of the worst case scenario, and you felt blood rushing to your head, making you dizzy. What if it was a trap? What if this was the plan of Naturalia’s royal family all along? What if your Queen was in danger? What if all of you were in danger?

Despite being wary and conscious of the many reasons behind this incident, prince Jaehyeong’s mother was seemingly shocked as well, trying to come up with different scenarios as to why it could happen - maybe the court lady was allergic to the ingredients in the tea -, but the Queen was suspicious, and didn’t let it slide even when the joined effort of the two medics and princess Jinhee’s magic helped Hyeri to regain consciousness.

“It was too strong of an effect for it to be accidental. If three of us needed to use magic to help my court lady, it was intended to kill one of us. Even if the incident was out of your control, it is not safe for us to stay here,” the Queen concluded rather indignantly, and at least the other royal family members didn’t protest, and reassured her that they would do everything in their power to get to the bottom of this case.

The ride back to the palace was a tense one because it meant that even if the Naturalia royal family didn’t want to kill the Queen or the princess, someone in their royal court would want to do so, someone who had the power to get inside their walls and put some kind of poison in the tea. They should have known that such royalty didn’t just drink or eat before testing it out with their servants, so maybe it was a kind of warning. First the carriage incident, then the rebels, now this… Was it all because the two kingdoms were to be united by the prospectus wedding? Did a group of citizens from the other kingdom have anything against your Queen?

You kept thinking about the what ifs, signs you should have seen, but you still couldn’t rack your head around what had just happened. Upon your arrival back at the palace, the Queen asked you to accompany the startled Hyeri to her room instead of walking her back to her chambers since she had other servants who could help her now. You obeyed her, but your voice was shaky as you responded to her, and your hand trembled when you reached out to hold onto the court lady. It could have been you as well, you could have died that day…

“It’s all okay. You’re safe now,” you mumbled to Hyeri nevertheless, trying to soothe her nerves, but you could still see how frazzled she was. Even when you left her after she had thanked you for your assistance and denied that she needed anything else, you could clearly see how terrified she was. You told her that she shouldn’t hesitate to call for you if she changed her mind and needed anything. Afterwards, you left her behind and started aimlessly walking around the court until your legs didn’t feel wobbly anymore. You needed time and some fresh air to clear your mind.

You were just about to head to the court ladies’ house when you walked into prince Jinyoung who looked just as shaken up as you deemed that you had been some time ago. His usually delicate locks sat on top of his head messily as if he had been running his hand through his hair more often than it was necessary, his jet-black eyes were painted with agony, his facial expression alarmed and his voice shaky when he spoke up.

“Are you… alright?” His words came out raspy, as if he was still trying to catch his breath. Did he come to the court ladies’ area after hearing the news? Why did he seem so uncharacteristically concerned? The usually stern and reserved prince didn’t usually meddle with the servants’ business as you had seen. He was on good terms with his soldier friend, Seunghun, and one of the magical medics, Byounggon, but he usually didn’t worry about the court ladies’ safety. Some said that it was because he didn’t want to be swept up in rumours while you deemed that it was only natural since he was royalty, and of the obedient type.

You bobbed your head, though you were at a loss for words seeing him in this state.

“Are you sure you don’t need more medical assistance?” The prince continued, taking a step closer to you as if to examine if you had visible injuries. However, the way he worded himself sent waves of warmth through your body.

“Oh, it was not me who drank the tea. It was court lady Kim,” you justified to the prince whose lips formed a surprised ‘O’ in return. Other than that, he didn’t seem taken aback, more like a bit coy, but his features softened as if he had been relieved by your answer.

“Oh… is she alright, too?”

“Yes, I helped to accompany her back to her room,” you explained, trying to keep the shaking out of your voice. You had never thought before that being in the court could mean that you were in direct danger because you weren’t a soldier or a bodyguard, but it seemed that there were multiple ways one could weaken a King on the throne.

You heard a door opening and carefree chatter coming out of a house nearby, so instinctively, you grabbed the prince’s robe and pulled him to the wall of the nearest house, into the shadows. You couldn’t really tell what took hold of you, but it felt oddly wrong to be so out in the open with just the prince. It was different in the garden when there were just the two of you. It was like your little hideout, an island of solace, a place of security, however now, you felt like you were stripped bare.

Prince Jinyoung’s eyes widened in surprise at first, but he must have guessed your reason for bringing him with you out of the public eye because he didn’t protest, nor did he ask why you had acted this way. Instead, he peeked out from behind the wall, then back at you.

“And you? Are you alright?” He asked as if he had just continued from where he had left off. “This must have shaken you up.”

The way his words were so gentle, so caring made you feel things that you shouldn’t have. If the prince was the moon that lit the way for the people of the kingdom, the light in the darkness, the hope in the unfamiliar, you would be the sun that shone only during daytime, shining bright until night came, and the moon took its place. You two weren’t supposed to encounter each other, let alone seek out time to see each other.

He shouldn’t have cared about you, and you shouldn’t have let him, but still… You couldn’t lie straight to his face.

“I am… I just…” You wanted to say so much, yet the words died on the tip of your tongue. Your heart was way heavy, the flashbacks of the scene in the dining room even heavier, and you felt a drop of tear sliding down your cheeks as you were trying to pull yourself together. You had to stay strong, you couldn’t show him vulnerability. He couldn’t care about your vulnerability. “I am sorry, Your Highness. I do not want to bother you anymore. Please, go on your way,” you said instead, keeping your eyes down as you bowed.

You wanted him to go away, to stop caring, to stop looking at you, but he didn’t budge, and it was a rule that you could straighten up only when a royalty took the first step. However, he didn’t do so, instead, he tapped your shoulder, and helped you straighten up.

“You don’t bother me at all,” he mumbled like a secret, a feeble attempt at diminishing the gap between you two that should have always mattered, but he crossed it as if he didn’t see it at all.

And you, you weren’t strong enough to push him away. Not that day, not in the comforting shadows under the faint moonlight, not out of the public eye when he looked at you as if he was ready to give you the world. The hand that had rested on your shoulder before now slid to your back as he embraced you, holding you strong, holding you steady

The walls crumbled down, the shield of your heart taken away, your rational thoughts tossed aside. Now, there was only his comforting touch that put out even the tiniest flicker of resistance within you, and for a moment, you believed that this could be your reality, your present and future, and your forever.

After the incident, the palace was in uproar. They couldn’t let it slide as promised, and so the investigation started to get to the bottom of this. The royal family of Naturalia was helpful though, and soon enough, they found a group of rebels who didn’t want your kingdom to be in alliance, let alone in union with their kingdom because of the special magical plants they possessed. They deemed that it was their gift and their gift only. It made sense why the attack on the carriage had happened when a letter had been delivered to Naturalia, then around the borders when news had gotten around that a marriage deal had been proposed to princess Jinhee, then when the Queen and the princess had actually gone to visit the other kingdom.

They didn’t find all of the rebels though, and there was no guarantee that they wouldn’t attack again no matter the fact that peace was in both parties’ favour. So for now, the marriage proposal was put on hold, and instead, your kingdom tried to strengthen its ties with other alliances. After the passing of the King in Elementalia - the land of elemental magic where people could possess the ability to control fire, earth, water and air -, his rather young heir took place, but it meant that marrying one of their princesses off to another kingdom would secure their power with a boy king on the throne.

That’s how you found yourself in the room with the Queen, prince Jinyoung and other servants, listening to their conversation about prince Jinyoung marrying the princess in question.

“They are in a tight spot, and we are in need of securing our safety. Who knows when those rebels would attack us again? It is best if we do not push your sister’s marriage with prince Jaehyeong now, but rather, we reassure them that we will not make moves towards their kingdom. The best way to do that is to shift their attention to our other affairs… such as your possible marriage with the princess from Elementalia,” the Queen concluded confidently, but you could hear the indignation in her voice. Seeing one of her court ladies almost getting poisoned took a toll on her as it did on all of you. One of her court ladies had even resigned, feeling like her safety was threatened.

Needless to say, prince Jinyoung was also aware of the tension in the kingdom, and while you had only met him once since that embrace, he had seemed rather troubled then and now as well.

“And princess Yunkyeong is said to be a very intelligent, obedient young lady. You might not be interested in her now, but at least, give her a chance. Let us arrange a meeting with her, and see how you feel about her being your wife. I will not force you to make any rash decisions, but we-”

“We need this marriage deal now to reassure our people that our kingdom isn’t threatened. I know, Mother,” the prince cut her off, his voice void of any emotions. His face was also void of any emotions, save for the slight wrinkles forming on his forehead.

You wished you could do anything to help this situation, but in cases like this, your hard work didn’t mean anything. These affairs were bigger than you, bigger than anyone in the royal court. Plus, the Queen was right. Despite not talking explicitly about what had happened in both the carriage and the tea incident, word had gotten out, especially with the rebels making a ruckus around the border. The people were confused and scared, questioning what the royal family’s next move might be. It was best to reassure them with such prosperous news rather than talk about any uncertainty.

“I will come back when you feel ready to give me your answer,” the Queen suggested as she rose from her seat, and so the servants lined up behind her. As you got in line, you made the mistake of looking at the prince, and he looked back at you, though you couldn’t exactly say you knew exactly what he was feeling. However, a shadow of sorrow passed through his features, but you didn’t know what it was for. Or rather, you didn’t want to know.

So you kept your eyes on the ground even after straightening your back from bowing at the prince, and didn’t look back.

You purposefully didn’t go to the garden afterwards. You could have said that you didn’t have time or you were too troubled by the recent events, but the truth is, you merely wanted to avoid meeting the prince. If you hadn’t had conscience before, now you would have felt like you had betrayed the Queen and all that she had worked so hard for if you had kept up your encounters with prince Jinyoung, and the people had gotten to know about it. Such news might even prompt princess Yunkyeong and her family to step back from their marriage proposal. After all, a prince and a court lady should never meet under private circumstances, let alone embrace in the shadows.

Now more than ever, you regretted letting prince Jinyoung console you in your state, you should have known that it would lead to nothing good. You should have stayed strong, you should have never shed tears in front of the prince. On the other hand, you knew, you knew very well with prince Jinyoung’s personality that he wouldn’t have felt compelled to embrace you even if you had been crying. He had done it because he had wanted to, but this thought only weighed down on you even more. What were you two doing anyway? Even if you had moments when you could have believed that your feelings would be reciprocated, the question wasn’t whether they would be reciprocated, but just how wrong it would be if they were reciprocated? You couldn’t fall in love with a prince.

Nonetheless, it was too late. You felt that bittersweet tug whenever you walked to your room straight after finishing your duties for the day without wandering around in the garden, you felt a wave of childish thrill go through your body whenever you caught sight of similarly pitch-black locks as the prince had - though you knew that it couldn’t be the prince for the royal family always wore white and the court members always wore burgundy-black -, and you felt your heart yearning for him, like a person coming up for air after being underwater for too long.

No matter how many times you tried to tell yourself that you could only make things worse if you felt everything so deeply, so grandly, your heart was at war with your brain, and it seemed that your brain was at defeat. Despite everything, you longed for what you had, for what you could have and for what you would never have with prince Jinyoung.

It didn’t make things any easier that you were there when the prince gave his answer to the Queen - that he would meet the princess in person -, you were there when they were arranging for the arrival of princess Yunkyeong and the Queen of Elementalia, and you were there when they arrived. You even needed to be the one to notify the prince that they arrived, and you felt a lump forming in your throat as you walked closer and closer to the prince’s chamber. You felt like your legs were made of steel, your limbs numb and your heartbeat as erratic as it could be.

Even though you had never been to the prince’s chamber, you knew where it was for it was the room closest to the Queen’s own chamber. Knocking on its door made you think of scenarios where you could do the same, but you quickly got rid of all of these silly fantasies. After all, they were nothing more than fantasies, irrational wishes and ultimately bullets through your already fragile heart.

When the prince answered, you opened the door to his chamber, and you made your way inside, bowing immediately before letting him know about why you were there. You could see that prince Jinyoung was both surprised and reassured by your presence, but he pursed his lips into a thin line when you explained the reason behind your visit.

“What do you think about this marriage?” The prince asked abruptly, and for a moment, you felt like icy thorns were invading your throat, making it impossible to speak, gulp or even breathe. Why did he have to make this even more difficult?

Deep inside, your rational side managed to break free from all the fantasies, and reminded you that you would only make things worse if you acted as if you were affected by the possibility of prince Jinyoung marrying a princess. As he should have after all. So you pulled yourself together, and tried to word yourself very diplomatically.

“I believe it is a very beneficial one, and princess Yunkyeong is said to be a lovely young lady as well, Your Highness,” you reasoned, keeping your voice steady. You even managed to keep eye-contact with him, and you saw confusion flash across his features. He seemed weary, someone who hadn’t been sleeping well because of his tormenting thoughts, and you wished to soothe the wrinkles on his forehead, to feel the warmth of his touch again, and to hold his hand to reassure him that everything would be alright, but you knew it was all just wishful thinking. It was all just a lie.

The prince took a few steps closer to you and you took a few back because you didn’t know what he was about to do without saying a word. Your back almost touched the door, and in a fraction of fragile seconds, he closed the said door, and turned back to you. This way, no one in the corridor could see you or listen to you two.

“Is that what you honestly think?”

His gaze was piercing, almost burning, and it felt like he could see right through you. His usually warm orbs reflected sadness, sorrow and bitterness - something that you saw reflected in your own ones recently. Seeing him in this state made you feel even worse for lying to him, but you had to. Words were your only defence now.

“Yes, Your Highness. I wish nothing but the best for you.”

“Do you believe it would be the best for me if you kept this up, and I would lose you in the meantime?” He kept going on strong, almost demanding, but you could detect the thorn in his words, you could detect his fear. Even though he wasn’t as close to you as he had been when he had embraced you in the shadows, you still felt like he was about to break down your walls. You couldn’t let that happen. Not this time.

“I do not believe that my presence should matter that much, and besides, we should hurry to-” You tried to direct the conversation back to the way it had started, but the prince cut you off, and the sincerity, the pain and the same longing you felt laced his words, and you were rendered speechless.

“It does matter that much even if you might not think so. So just once, can’t you be honest with me? Can’t you tell me what you really feel?”

Amongst many, there was one thing about prince Jinyoung that made him a likely successful heir to the throne: no matter what he said, he could make others believe it, no room for doubts. His voice was always confident, no cracks or wavers, but now, his voice shook. It shook like a man’s during prayers, during struggle and during darkness. As if he was desperate.

You physically ached to give him the answer he wanted, but you were already hurting so much, so you made a promise to yourself that no matter how and when you would meet him again, you wouldn’t let it continue the same way as it had done before. The sooner you could put an end to it, the less it would hurt.

Or so you assumed.

“I do not understand what you intend to say with it, Your Highness, but my duties lie with the Queen, and I always, always put her commands first,” you emphasised sternly, masking your tone in a coldness that you had never found within you before. “So if you could follow me now, that would make my job easier,” you added, strictly drawing the line between you two, and before waiting for his answer like you should have according to the etiquette, you walked around him, opened the door and walked out.

You expected him to follow you, and he did, but you were thankful that he didn’t walk beside you because you had to bite your cheek to keep your tears from flowing. It hurt for you to be so rigid to him, but that was the only way you could put a distance between you two.

So why did it hurt so much? Why did it pain you more to lie to him than if you had just been honest with him? If this was love, why did it hurt so bloody much?

It turned out that princess Yunkyeong was indeed a lovely young lady, and seeing her interact with the prince made you feel undeniably bitter because she was so bright, so considerate and so patient, you wished you could have turned back time to never make him feel anything because you knew why he was so distant. Even though he was trying not to appear stern, you could see the way his facial expressions changed in a fraction of a second when he turned away from her. You knew that the reason was you.

Nonetheless, you hoped that he wouldn’t cling onto the foolish hope of you two ever having your own happy ending because just as much as you would have liked to delude yourself into thinking that you could have anything together, it would be simply impossible as long as you were a servant and he was a prince. Which meant that you could never do so.

So when you heard after the princess’ visit that the prince had given in to the marriage, you should have felt relieved, yet you would be lying if you said that you were. After all, it would mean that you would see the princess around all the time because she would move into the palace after the wedding, and though the pain might numb after a while, her presence would always remind you of what you could have had if it had been for different circumstances.

You tried not to think about it, you really tried, but there was a pang in your chest whenever you and prince Jinyoung were in the same room when he met up with the Queen, and despite not catching each other’s eyes, your heart couldn’t sit still. The same went when you walked by him in the corridor, just one look at him and the fact that you could never be close again almost felt like the consequences of getting burnt. You were too close to the fire, but you were tempted, so you touched the flames, and now you were hurt, yet still yearning to do it again. Now you understood the expression that you would walk through fire for someone, you really did.

You were almost glad that the Festival of Day and Light happened a few days before the wedding because you could get time off to visit back home, to visit the festival because the Queen was preoccupied with the wedding arrangements, and hence, she would stay inside her chamber for most of the day.

It was the usual yearly festival for the fall equinox, and when you had been younger, you had been ecstatic to spend this day with your mother, to commemorate the gift of light, and to light a candle for all your loved ones, wishing them a bright year. There were all kinds of games for kids, stalls of delicacies lining up on the main market square, people lighting candles and placing them on the riverside that crossed the capital of the kingdom, and white or yellow decorations in the shape of stars, the Sun and the Moon.

Despite the usual joyous atmosphere of the celebration, ever since your mother had died, you hadn’t gone out to celebrate it as your father wasn’t the kind to believe in such things. So this year as well, you went home for the day, had a meal together with your father, helped him around the house, talked about everything that came to mind, then headed back to the palace later at night. Yet, there was no way you would be able to go around the celebrations on the main market square, so you mindlessly walked through it.

To be precise, you wanted to, but an elderly woman with an impossibly wide smile shoved a candle into your hand, and looking down at it, you didn’t have the heart to not light it up. So you walked to the edge of the river, a less crowded part of it, and crouched down to touch your candle to the wick of another one, watching as the flame moved from one candle to the other.

Then, you placed yours on the ground, closed your eyes and wished for your father’s health, your mother’s comfort in the spirit realm, the court ladies’ perseverance, the Queen’s well-being and even for prince Jinyoung’s happiness. You really wished nothing but the best for him even if you weren’t a part of it.

When you opened your eyes to the world around you and straightened up, you didn’t expect to find a familiar pair of jet-black eyes staring back at you. Your heart and mind didn’t even have time to protest, the words already rolled off your tongue.

“Your Highness,” you greeted him with your mouth slightly agape, then pulled yourself together for a proper bow. He placed his index finger on his lips - just like the time he had picked up the hairpin for you -, and the déjavu of the whole situation sent a chill down your spine.

He indeed looked like he didn’t want to be seen as he didn’t wear his trademark white robe, but a burgundy-black one with a hood that now covered most of his face, but you could never mistake his orbs for anyone else’s. You had stared into them, you had gazed at them and you had daydreamed about them enough times to be able to recognise them anywhere.

“What are you doing here?” You inquired quietly. It wasn’t unheard of that the royal family members went out for such celebrations, but then they walked into the sea of people in their usual clothes with bodyguards around them. This time, the prince seemed to be alone, and you expected him the least out of anyone since his wedding was just around the corner.

“I’ve never had the opportunity to light a candle. I’ve gotten Seunghun’s clothes, so that I could come here in peace, and then I saw you here…” He trailed off by the end as if he wasn’t sure that he should have said so much, but you could understand him. Especially after how you had lied to him last time.

“Should you be here so close to your wedding?”

Your question might have been assumed to be laced with malice, but you didn’t ask about it out of spite. You were concerned about him, that’s all. You knew how fussy the Queen was about the whole wedding, and it took a toll on prince Jinyoung (or was it that he still didn’t let go of you?). The last thing you had expected from him these days was to see him at the festival.

“Probably not,” he replied, and despite the tense question, the corner of his lips curled upwards, a bit childish and a bit bashful. Not the expression you had expected to see on him given his general state nowadays.

However, the prince didn’t seem guilty now, but there was definitely melancholy in his features. His lips couldn’t bloom into a full smile, his eyes weren’t twinkling, and his limbs were all tensed up as if he was ready to bolt anytime. Maybe he really was, seeing how he covered himself up.

Your heart ached for him, for all the possibilities that were crushed by the sole difference between your ranks, and for all those endless fantasies he had been a part of, ones that popped into your mind whenever you let your mind wander off, whenever you caught sight of him at the palace, and whenever you walked by the pond in the garden. Even though the latter had become a place of solitude, a safe haven for you, now it was just another thing that reminded you of your pain. The wound was there, and it was still open, it was still bleeding, no wonder it was difficult to wait out the time it would start to heal.

And in a way, something in your gut told you that he was the same. His following words proved it, too.

“But I’ve wanted to wish for someone’s bright future even if I won’t be a part of it,” prince Jinyoung suddenly broke the silence, his voice coming out raspy. He crouched down to light his own candle as he continued, but you were glad that he couldn’t see your face because his words struck you to your very core. “I felt like I wasn’t supposed to tell her after what we’ve been through and that she wouldn’t let me tell her how I wish the best for her, so I came here instead. I was hoping that my wish would somehow be carried forward.”

The more he talked, the more certain you were that he was talking about you, and instinctively, tears began to spill. You tried to hold them back, but they found their way to the surface, and all you could do was to sob silently, hoping that prince Jinyoung would look at his candle for a long enough time, long enough for your heart to prepare itself for a response, for your heart to prepare itself for a possible goodbye.

You reached to wipe the tears off your face, but as the prince straightened his back, that’s exactly what he caught you doing, so there was no turning back. You let your sobs reverberate through your body, your words following the rhythm of your tears like raindrops on a windowsill.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled through tears, not being able to look him in the eye. So you just stared at your shoes instead while your tears dropped to the ground one after another. Drip… drop… drip… drop… “I thought that being harsh would be the only way I could make it hurt less, but it still hurts so much.”

“I know. I don’t blame you,” came the answer almost immediately, and when you looked at prince Jinyoung through the waterfall of your tears, you saw the same kind of longing that you dressed your features in these days. If anything, that just made you feel worse. Why couldn’t you be as heartless as last time?

You sobbed quietly, hoping not to attract unnecessary attention, but this part of the riverside was pretty quiet, and the stillness of it all magnified the loudness of your beating heart. You felt like it would break through your ribcage to find the prince’s own heart because it was what it sought after. Too bad that you couldn’t listen to your heart now…

“I’m sorry, too,” prince Jinyoung added, his voice cracking by the end.

You knew what was to come even before it happened, but as opposed to last time, you didn’t feel warmth, you didn’t feel comfort. When the prince embraced you, there was pain; because when you share the same kind of pain with someone, your pain is amplified by the other’s pain. It was a gawking, raw, soul crashing kind of ache, one that you felt in your bones, in your veins and in your heart. You couldn’t even do anything about it, your arms just hung idly by the prince’s body, your tears spilling endlessly, words abandoning you and sobs scratching your throat instead.

You couldn’t tell how much time had passed by when the prince let go of you, but you had a feeling that it was for good. When he squeezed your hand gently, you could feel the hesitation only for a short moment, and then, he slowly slipped through your fingers, all of your remaining hope leaving with him.

The walls that he had broken down now laid at your feet, lifeless and in multiple, messy pieces.

You somehow pushed through the wedding, but afterwards, you kept coming down with something, and even Byounggon’s healing and the medics’ tips couldn’t help because it just kept coming back, so the Queen granted you indefinite leave to go back home and to recharge yourself.

The truth is, once you were off the palace grounds, you got better, and you had a feeling why. On top of that, your father was also feeling poorly, so you were glad that you could be at home during this time. The truth is, ever since you had left for the palace 16 years ago, you hadn’t spent more than a week straight at home, so now that you were there, you realised just how much time had passed by, just how lonely your father must have been, how worn out your old shoes had been, and how loaded all your bookshelves were.

You made yourself busy in and around the house, cleaning up, buying new pillows for yourself and new clothes for your father (it seemed that he didn’t like spending money on himself, rather on books), picking up some herbs for your father from the nearby medics - from two young men, Hyunsuk and Yonghee, who were said to be good friends -, cooking, sewing clothes that were torn, reading the books you had not yet read from the shelves, and daydreaming about how you would take prince Jinyoung to your home, how you would lead him around the house and how you would introduce him to your father… if the circumstances had been different, and he hadn’t been a prince married to a princess.

The news of the royal family reached your neighbourhood as well, so you knew that the prince was on a trip to Elementalia with his wife, and maybe that’s what prompted you to go back to the palace then to formally hand in your written resignation.

The Queen didn’t seem taken aback by your decision, in fact, she rose from her usual sitting position, put her hand on your trembling ones, and gave you an almost motherly smile.

“Thank you so much for your service in the past 16 years. Your mother would be exceptionally proud of you. I wish nothing but the best for you and your father,” she said as she sent you on your way, and when you walked out of her chamber and passed by prince Jinyoung’s own chamber, you knew that it was for the best. Maybe some would say that you ran away from him, but you knew that you couldn’t have run away from the pain even if you had tried. So you had tried to give yourself space and time to decide what would be the best for you, and both your body and your heart thanked you for this decision.

You couldn’t help a teardrop roll down your cheeks though as you stepped through the gates - probably for the very last time -, flashbacks washed into a wheel of events; so much laughter, so much learning, so much love and so much pain. Like the different colours of a rainbow, all of these were needed to make you who you were today, and even though you didn’t believe in forever anymore, you would always, truly, deeply wish for nothing but the best for prince Jinyoung. He had given you so much care and affection, and this was the only way you could repay him.

A/N: I managed to finish writing and proofreading this story in time for the comeback, but I didn't think that it would top all the pain that the comeback might cause. Sorry for that, but I hope that you enjoyed the angst of it!

How do you like the comeback, the MV and the album? Do you have a favourite song? I love suffering, and I love emotional MVs, but the MV and the whole album were on another level in the best way possible. I think the boys outdid themselves again, and I'm super proud of them!

All in all, I hope you enjoyed the story! Thank you so much for reading it! ❤️

If you want to read more stories of mine, let it be for CIX or for other bands, consider signing up for my taglist here.

On top of that, keep your eyes out for the other boys' stories set in this universe! 😉

#cix #jinyoung #cix imagines #cix scenarios #cix x reader #cix x you #jinyoung scenarios #jinyoung imagines #jinyoung x reader #jinyoung x you #bae jinyoung scenarios #bae jinyoung imagines #bae jinyoung x reader #bae jinyoung x you

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t3kandson · 4 months

Text

Jealousy's fair game

Words; 2,564

Fandom; CIX feat, Cignature

Pairing; Reader X Kim Yonghee

Characters; Kim Yonghee, Lee Byounggon, Kim Seunghun, Bae Jinyoung, Yoon Hyunsuk, Moon Chaesol, Kim Jiwon, Jung Yeonjeong, Jenny Yun, Jin Hyeonju, Goo Semi, Kwon Dohee

Warnings, Kissing Games, Angst, Smut, Jealousy, Alcohol Consumption, Body Marking, Hair Pulling, Degrading, spanking, Rough and slight public sex and Orgasm denial.

Requested by Anonymous

"Do you like Y/N?” Seunghun said with a smirk on his face looking at Yonghee. A red blush view falls upon his expression as you look to him awaiting his answer. You feel as if you've been choked when he screws his face in disgust and shakes his head. "Fuck you," you scoff giggling as you flip him off, despite knowing that it felt like he practically kicked you in the stomach right now.

You had a crush on Kim Yonghee for the last three years. The only one who knew this was Byounggon. You had confided in him that you wanted more then the friendship Yonghee was offering. Byounggon had reassured you that Yonghee wouldn't push you away. He was suspicious he also liked you and that had led to the very truth or dare game you were currently playing. "Dare," you said when it came your turn, you feared for a question that would lead to double rejection tonight. "I dare you to snog Byounggon," Semi giggled as both yours and your childhood friend’s eyes widened in fear. Before you could question the dare, Byounggon crawled on all fours towards you. His hands resting upon your shoulder reassuringly. Lips falling to yours he made sure to put on a show. Letting his tongue slide against yours as he kissed you slowly. His fingers rubbing down your jawline in such a tender moment. "You two sure you're not hiding something?" Dohee whistled excitedly. But before you could deny anything you noticed Yonghee unclench his fist. Was he jealous? Did it disturb him you kissing Byounggon? The game continues for several more rounds when it came to your turn again. Yeonjeong was about to throw a dare when Seunghun ended the game. "My neighbours are complaining," he said shaking his phone into the view. "I think we should leave this for another day," he said with a slight grimace as the room grumbled. "How you getting home?" Byounggon asked suggestively as you tilted your head his way. "I can't drive you home I’ve been drinking," he said despite knowing he had only drank one drink during the evening. "I'm getting a taxi. I only live round the corner, I’ll drop her back," Jinyoung said throwing his arm around your neck. Byounggon breathed deeply with annoyance. You then realised he was trying to encourage Yonghee who was sober all night to give you a ride. "I'll look after your girl I promise," Jinyoung giggled tipsy at his elder. "A kiss don't equal lovers," Byounggon protested as you took one look to Yonghee. He was quiet and avoided your eye contact. You couldn't help but feel he was jealous of Byounggon and Jinyoung.

"7 minutes in heaven," Chaesol said in excitement when you met the following week for drinks. Everyone agrees but you and Yonghee. You knew that these games were hurting the both of you. As everyone wrote down their names and placed them in a hat. You sat hoping that somehow you would be placed with Yonghee. Instead Hyunsuk was paired with you. His hands frisky falling on your body as he pulled you to the walk in wardrobe in Seunghun’s room. "I so want to get lost in your body," he said stroking his hand down your torso. "I don't think I can do this," you complained as he lightly hummed. "Because you like Yonghee," he said. As through the cracks of the wardrobe you could see a gentle smile. "Yes," you whispered looking down. Fingers under your chin he pointed for you to look his way. "He's so stubborn he won't admit he likes you too," he said as you tilted your head his direction. "He likes me?" You asked as he chuckled. "But he won't admit it," Hyunsuk chuckles lightly. "Why?" You ask wanting to know more. "Ask Seunghun he knows the details, he confides in everything with him." Hyunsuk said as his hands pulled the loose hair behind your ear. You could hear the countdown as you both stumbled out the wardrobe. Your faces hot from the heat. But you guess the room would have made presumptions of how steamy it was in there. You could see Yonghee’s jaw tighten as your eyes met. "I've got to go," Yonghee said sternly as he got off the floor. "Please don't leave so soon," you asked looking his way. But he refused eye contact. "Sorry Seunghun, my father needs me to run some errands," he said straightening his jacket. You couldn't help but follow as you chased him down the corridor. "Yonghee," you called as he stiffened upon your voice. "I'm busy Y/N what is it that you want," he growled without looking your way. "Can we talk," you pleaded as he started walking once more. "I'm busy, another day," he grumbled before fastening his speed as you stood there, giving up chasing him.

The following week another greet. Seunghun was struggling for ideas clearly till Byounggon mentioned the Suck and blow game. This time Seunghun made sure that you were placed between him and Yonghee. You were placed in a group with Jiwon and Byounggon. As Jinyoung, Hyunsuk was with Hyeonju, Jenny & Semi. You watched as Byounggon sucked in the piece of paper between his lips as he arched towards Jiwon. Hands falling to the back of her head he leaned himself in as the two worked to pass it. Jiwon twisted to look at Seunghun as he chuckled. Straightening his face, he rushed his lips at her. Seunghun struggled and all of a sudden you saw the sheet fall to the floor. Byounggon and Jiwon groaned at Seunghun who looked sheepish. Your eyes looked to the other group. Semi gently slapping Jinyoung was telling you that their side was doing no better. You could hear Yonghee’s frustration behind you when Seunghun let the paper fall once more. "Come on we're not going to win at this rate," you grumbled gently punching Seunghun’s arm as he looked at you sheepishly rubbing it. When he managed to succeed, his face spun to yours. As he pulled the sheet to your lips he chuckled letting it slip as your lips locked. "Seunghun," you grumbled feeling your lips where his fell. Seunghun's face was a little fallen when he took the figure behind, telling you once again Yonghee wasn't amused. As the paper made its way back down. Seunghun’s hand accidentally touched your breast while reaching for your arm. Causing your own lips to let the paper fall. "For fuck sake will you two stop making out and hurry up so we can win," Yonghee grumbled behind you which had you sigh. The game was a lot harder then it looked. After yours and Seunghun's third attempt you turned to face Yonghee. It was like just the thought of him being on the other side of the paper made your heartache. Instantly your lips failed to suck the paper in as it fell before Yonghee could even get close. His eyes rolled in frustration as you quietly apologised. Passing to him for the second time, just the mere hand on your shoulder had your heart thundering as he reached towards you. The paper once more fell to the floor. "You guys just pure suck at this. You should give up. We've won," Jinyoung said amused. "For fuck sake, if you and Seunghun wasn't flirting we would have won that," Yonghee said gritting his teeth as Seunghun dead panned him back. "What the actual hell man," Seunghun grumbled back at him. "I'm done with these silly drinking sessions," Yonghee said going to swipe his coat from the coat rack.

"Don't please, please don't go," you spun towards him hands on his chest as he refused to look your way. "Don't let me get in the way of your men time," he growls looking up towards you. "The only man time I want is with you," you spluttered letting the words fall as the girls gasped. "Kim Yonghee I'm crazy about you and you only," you finished as his face softened towards you. "I only kissed Byounggon because it was a game," you said pausing to look your friend's way. "We're just friends I promise," you said as nerves hit you. "Jinyoung just took me home that's all nothing happened," you added as Jinyoung confirmed your events. "Hyunsuk and I just spoke in there. Mostly about how you liked me but your scared," you said pointing to the wardrobe. "I'm not scared," Yonghee spat out. "And Seunghun is just really shit at that game, pure and simple," you said as Seunghun widened his eyes in horror before calming as the guys chuckled. "To be fair she's got a point," he added chirpy at his diss. "And just now with you you made me so anxious. The butterflies in my stomach you gave me at the thought of our lips being close," you said placing your hand over your stomach to calm it. "Yonghee....." you couldn't finish the sentence as he dragged you to the walk in wardrobe.

Entering the dark space he pushed you against the wall. He clearly doesn't want to talk as his lips attack yours. Teeth clashing in his rushed desire. Like a bottle that's been shook and exploded. His hands find the hair tie holding your hair as he pulls it out. Fingers twirling around the locks he pulls enough to expose your neck. Teeth falling to the skin he suckles causing you to hiss as your hands grab his waist. "Your mine," he growls before pressing his lips to another spot on your collarbone. "I'm going to mark you up so everyone knows your mine," he threatens after he marks a second blemish. Hands falling to your dress he lowers the top half so that his lips can reach the top of your breasts. He continues his marking along them as you hiss, digging your nails into his waist. "I'm going to punish you for making me jealous," he growls as you hear the guys spew, 'eww,' , 'Save my ears,' & 'Do this elsewhere," from the other side of the wall. Twisting you so you're facing the surface, he places your hands against the plasterboard. Hands raking up your dress they find your panties, as he rips them. Fingers skirting to your folds he wastes no time plunging them in. Scissoring your heat roughly you grimace as he sets a rushed pace. Though pain is the first sensation you feel it's like your body enjoys his torture. Yonghee can feel this from how soaked your core is. "Your so wet my little whore," he says as his teeth find another space of skin on the back of your neck to mark. "You can't cum," he warns as his fingers speeds that draws moans. Music hits from outside the wardrobe, no doubt to drown out the moans that had slipped from your lips. He pulls his fingers leaving you empty as he places them in your mouth. "Taste how wet you are you dirty bitch," he growls in your ears that has your walls clench around nothing. "I'm going to fuck you now, and if you cum before I give permission. That's it, I'm walking away from you do you understand?” he asks so deeply next to your ear. Nodding doesn't give him satisfaction. "What did I say Y/N?” he grumbles as his teeth dig in your skin once more. "That if I want you I have to not cum," you hiss beneath the sore skin burning from his marks. You hear a rip of foil and you wait patiently for him to continue his torture.

Bending you over slightly he enters you with one deep fast thrust. Screams falling that you know the music won't mask. "That's it baby, you won't ever get me jealous again will you?” he asks as his hands wrap your hair around them. "I can't hear you," he spits out as he yanks your hair. "No baby, I won't," you splutter but you know he can't hear. Another yank has you repeat it much louder. His red hot shaft starts thrusting with heaviness against your cervix. Walls clenching around him has his pull much harsher around your hair. "Don't you dare cum," he demands as you help to meet his thrust. "You're so hungry for my cock aren't you my little whore," he chuckles pleased with your desperation to feel him deeper. Feeling an orgasm creep up you stiffen in fear. "What's up baby," he sniggers knowing your struggling. "Don't hold back, fuck yourself on me," he demands but you don't move. "What's up, you're such a cock whore you can't work with me without falling apart," he mocks as you nod. "Well let me work against your lazy ass," he says slapping your ass that has you yelp. Slamming him self with more speed has your fist clench against your struggle. You know the real risk of falling apart and exploding around him is high right now. "Please, please," you cry as you slap the wall feeling your body tremble. "You can't Kiss Byounggon and Seunghun and think you can get away with it," he grumbles as you whimper. "I didn't kiss Seunghun, not on purpose," you whimper as you throw your head from frustration into the wall hurting as it falls. Hands falling to your arms he pulls you backwards to avoid your head hitting the wall. However, the change of position does little to ease your struggle. Tears are falling down your eyes as you feel your losing your mind holding your orgasm back. "Who do you belong to?" He pants into your ear. "You," you whimper as his hands embrace your body pulling you closer to him. "What's my name?" He growls as you hear his own struggle in his voice. "Kim Yonghee, I belong to Kim Yonghee," you cry as you feel seconds away from slipping. "Please, please I can't hold back, I don't want to lose you," you sob in fear and excitement. "Oh Baby, you won't lose me because your mine now," he chuckles as his lips kiss a tear running down your face. "You can cum baby," he pants as he chases his high. "Y/N your mine," he cry's as he spills himself into the condom. "Yonghee," you scream so loud you hear your ears ring as you explode around him. Convulsing on his dick he thrusts his remaining rhythm into you as he leans himself with his arms wrapped around you into the wall.

Heavy panting in your ear you feel him slip from you. "Your mine Y/N, don't forget that," he says barely audible. "No more of these silly kissing games," he demands as you twist in his hold to face him. "Why would I kiss anyone that isn't my boyfriend?" You question looking up at his face. Even in the slight gap of light his beautiful mole under his left eye in your view left you breathless. "Let's go show them what's mine," he said as his lips fall to yours. Holding your hand in his you both walk into the room as you capture everyone blushes, but Seunghun and Byounggon smirks. "Finally you two are sorted, now never torture us again with those sounds," Seunghun snaps as you both blush like crazy.

Masterlist

#kpop smut #kpopidol #fiction #cix smut #Kim Yonghee smut #lee byounggon #Kim seunghun #bae jinyoung #yoon hyunsuk #Moon Chaesol #Kim Jiwon #Jung Yeonjeong #Jenny Yun #Jin Hyeonju #goo semi #cignature #kwon dohee

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dalivanmagritte · 10 months

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FIC REC : MULTI GROUPS

CIX

kim seunghun

you're my fireflower (fav!, fluff, angst, knight!au, witch!au, warrior!au, hybrid!au)

panty line crime and punishment (smut, office!au, ceo!au)

bae jinyoung

camboy (smut, camboy!au)

never forever (fluff, angst, royal!au)

yoon hyunsuk

bunny effect (smut)

kinky tarot reading (astrology, smut)

first (fluffy smut)

ENHYPEN

sim jake

not off limits (fluff, bestfriend's brother!au

THEBOYZ

eric sohn

san francisco vapor (fluff, angst, reincarnation!au, greekmythology!au)

sunburnt (fluff, pharmacist!au)

batter up! (luff, baseball!au)

all good boys (fluff)

coffee, waffles & the boy next door (fluff, neighbour!au)

summer nights (fluff)

endless race (finished serie, streetracer!au, mechanic!au, angst, fluff)

lee juyeon

splash! (fluff, lifeguard!au)

ATEEZ

first flight to hongkong (freaky ver) (basically a gangbang)

cleopatra part.1 (all members)

wooyoung:

déjà vu: i want you so bad (smut, fluff, college!au)

#fic rec #cix #baejinyoung #seunghun #yoon hyunsuk #enhypen #sim jake #the boyz #eric sohn #juyeon #smut #fluff #angst #kpop fic rec #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #cix scenarios #cix imagines

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yong-jelly · 2 years

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·˚ ༘ masterlist

🍮 - fluff

🍨 - smut

🥛 - angst

·˚ ༘ whole group

[headcanon] CIX AS LOVE LANGUAGES 🍮

[headcanon] HOW CIX WOULD EAT YOU OUT 🍨

[headcanon] PET NAMES THEY WOULD CALL THEIR S/O 🍮

[headcanon] CUTE THINGS THEY DO AS YOUR BOYFRIEND 🍮

[headcanon/drabble] MAKING OUT WITH CIX 🍨

[headcanon] HIDDEN RELATIONSHIP WITH CIX 🍮/slight 🥛

[mlt] MLT FWB mild 🍨

➩ bx | lee byounggon

[imagine] ALL ALONG 🍮

[imagine/drabble] SLEEPING IN 🍮

➩ kim seunghun

[imagine] COLD 🍮

[drabble] 🍮

➩ kim yonghee

[headcanon] NEWLYWED YONGHEE 🍮

[drabble] 🍮

➩ bae jinyoung

[headcanon] KISSES WITH BAE JINYOUNG 🍮/ slight 🍨

[drabble] 🍮

➩ yoon hyunsuk

[imagine] ESSAY mild 🍨/🍮

[imagine] DON'T LOOK DOWN 🍮

[nsfw a-z] 🍨

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kpophoneybunny · 1 year

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Reactions - WEi When Jealous (WEi x Gender Neutral Reader)

Request: Anonymous. I’m assuming you meant jealous over a s/o so that’s what I went with. If you want me to do it again with a more general jealousy, I can do that too.

Genre: Fluff, some angst. Jealous boyfriends, so there will be some possessiveness.

Disclaimer: None of these images are mine. All of them were found on Pinterest because I was struggling to find fitting gifs through the tumblr gif search.

This work in no way reflects the true personalities, characters, or actions of the WEi members.

Daehyeon

Daehyeon noticed you kept looking at your phone and smiling, your fingers flying across the keyboard to respond to someone. He couldn’t help but be a bit paranoid. Were you talking to someone else? After a few hours of giving you the silent treatment and you not seeming to notice, he’d peer over your shoulder to see you’d actually been posting to a secret fan account you had for him, raving to RUi about the latest comeback. “Is this what you’ve been doing all day?” He laughed in sweet relief, feeling dumb for internalizing his jealousy all day when a quick question would have cleared that up in seconds. “Baby, I thought you were talking to another guy.”

“Why on earth would I do that?” You scrunched your nose.

“Dunno. Maybe you got tired of me.”

“Never.” You turned your head to give him a quick kiss.

“Promise you’ll only post about me?”

Donghan

Donghan didn’t like that you were starting in a drama as a main love interest. Whenever you watched the show together and the romantic scenes came up or if you’re co-star so much as looked at you, his grip on your hand would tighten. When you looked at him, his jaw would be clenched and his eyes filled with hurt. “Baby?” You tilted your head, trying to get his attention. He only squeezed tighter when you kissed your co-star. “Babe.” You laughed, realizing why he was jealous. “Look at me.” As soon as he did, you gave him a kiss, lingering longer than usual to remind him that he was the only one for you.

“Maybe I should start acting and try to get casted as your love-interest. Those lips are mine.”

Yongha

Yongha had been awfully clingy since you started your new job. Whenever you were both in the same place at the same time, he was clinging to your arm, kissing your hand or cheek and placing his hands in your pockets to tug you closer whenever you wandered out of arm’s reach.

“Baby.” You laughed as he tugged you back against his side. “Don’t get me wrong, I like the affection. But why are you being so needy?” You cupped his cheeks and met his gaze.

“Your boss gets all your time lately. At least I can get something he can’t.” He grinned triumphantly. At your quizzical brow, he continued, “Your love.”

Yohan

Yohan was usually pretty confident in your relationship but he’d brought you along to a celebrity party for the first time and something about the dazzled look in your eyes as you scanned the crowd made him insecure. “Yeah, these parties are pretty cool, huh?” He looked you over, biting his tongue to allow a pause for you to answer.

“Yeah. So many idols I’ve only dreamt of meeting.” Your eyes lingered CIX’s Jinyoung, starry with awe.

“Hey.” He grabbed your chin and turned your head to look at him. “I’m better than those other guys. Don’t look at anyone else like that.”

Seokhwa

Seokhwa couldn’t help it. He kept staring at you fluffed Yongha’s hair, your lips dabbing gloss onto his lips. He knew it was your job but he thought you could maybe do it without being so close to his members all the time. He grabbed your wrist suddenly and tugged you out into the hall. “What are you doing?” He hissed. “Why do you keep touching him and smiling like that?”

“Baby, I’m just doing my job.” You rolled your eyes. “

“We’ll, at least stop smiling at him so much.” He frowned. “From now on, only smile at me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m friends with all the members. I practically live at the dorms lately.” You crossed your arms. “Do you want me to scowl at them all the time?”

“We’ll, it’d make me feel better.”

Junseo

“Why can’t I dance with Y/N?” Junseo pouted. “We have better chemistry.”

“We’re a better height match.” Seokhwa shrugged. “It’s not about chemistry for this kind of dance.”

“Well, then stop touching them so much.” Junseo huffed, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s unnecessary.”

“It’s a partner dance.” Seokhwa raised a brow. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” He grumbled, making you realize just how bothered he was getting.

“You’re jealous.” You teased. His cheeks reddened in response and he looked down at his feet. “Oh my god, you are.” You laughed and walked up to him, kissing his cheek. “Do you wanna choreograph our own dance at home? I’ll let you lift me.”

“You don’t let anyone lift you.”

“Just for you, babe.” You smiled gently. “I’ll make an exception just for you.”

“Well, now I feel special.”

#wei #wei daehyeon #wei donghan #wei yongha #wei yohan #wei seokhwa #wei junseo #wei scenarios #wei reactions #kpop #kpop oneshots #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #wei requests

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sluttyeosang · 5 months

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sluttyeosang » cix masterlist

_______________ » [✰] - smut [✮] - fluff [✬] - angst _______________

» lee byounggon (이병곤) - TBA _______________

» kim seunghun (김승훈) - TBA _______________

» kim yonghee (김용회) - TBA _______________

» bae jinyoung (배진영) - TBA _______________

» yoon hyunsuk (윤현석) - TBA _______________ » multiple members - TBA

_______________

hard hours archive - TBA _______________

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yunhohours · 2 years

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(f) = fluff, (a) = angst, (m) = mature, (r) = requested

find all cix content including asks here! (includes smut so click at your own risk)

MTL: → Ass vs Tits Men - m, r → Prefer Creamers vs Squirters - m, r

Reactions: → Sending Them Nudes - m, r

Headcanons: → Relationship with Poly!Gonhun - m, f, r → Top 5 Kinks - m, r

find all jinyoung content including asks here! (includes smut so click at your own risk)

Prompts: → Fluff Prompts / All Prompts

find all seunghun content including asks here! (includes smut so click at your own risk)

One Shots: → Don't Want to Leave Yet (m) - you don't want to go home, so you might as well fuck your best friends, right? ft. byounggon

find all byounggon content including asks here! (includes smut so click at your own risk)

One Shots: → Don't Want to Leave Yet (m) - you don't want to go home, so you might as well fuck your best friends, right? ft. seunghun

#cix masterlist #cix fluff #cix smut

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blossominghunnie · 1 year

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Cix

☀️ Imagine 🌙 Fanfic

🌼 Fluff 🥀 Angst 🌷 Comedy 🍄 Suggestive 🪼Request

Bx/Lee Byounggon

Coming soon

Kim Seunghun

Coming soon

Kim Yonghee

Back Home ☀️🌼🪼

01:30 ☀️🌼🪼

Bae Jinyoung

End up here ☀️🌼 (soon)

Yoon Hyunsuk

Liar 🌙🌷 [On hold]

Surprise! ☀️🌼

Taglist:

#cix masterlist #cix #yoon hyunsuk #hyunsuk #fix #bx #seunghun #yonghee #baejin

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kyufessions · 2 years

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Opposites

context: popular college student! seunghun x lonely college student! g.n. reader

word count: 3.6k

warnings: fluff, some angst

a/n: idk how this got so long but enjoy !

——————

you were both complete opposites. you hated everyone, he loved everyone. he always wore color while you wore black, grey, and white tones. you were a business major while he was a music major. he was well known and “popular” around campus, while you blended into the background. you couldn’t be more different from one another, so when you both got paired up to work on a class project together you couldn’t be more anxious and a bit irritated. why him? of all people? you even would’ve been fine with the asshole soccer player.

as class finished up, you took your time packing up and stuffing your notebook into your bag. before you could put your headphones on, a tall figure started approaching you at the corner of your eyes. you could already feel his positive aura oozing out onto the floor and approaching you at a rapid pace.

“excuse me?” you heard him say, the smile evident in his voice. when you turned your head to look at him, you noticed the bright smile that spread from ear to ear. it was lovely and welcoming- which to you was frightening.

“yes?” you replied, fiddling with the wire of your headphones awaiting his response.

“we’re partners for the project,” he started, his smile never fading as he spoke. “can we exchange numbers so we can plan our meet up for the project?”

you nodded, pulling out your phone and opening your contacts to add a new one. you typed his name into your phone before handing it over to him, standing up from your chair as you did so. when you noticed the height difference between you both, you felt intimidated. you never noticed his height until now, has he always been this tall?

when he took your phone in his hands he was going to start typing out his name when he realized it was already typed out, causing him to raise a curious brow. he glanced up at you as he typed in his number, parting his lips. after inserting his number he texted himself a quick ‘hi’ so he had your number as well. “how do you know my name?”

when he finished and handed you back your phone, you opened up your music app to start listening to some ph-1 as you walked back to your dorm. “you’re kim seunghun, everyone knows who you are.” you said as you slid your headphones on, putting your phone in your pocket and walking away from the confused man that stood there baffled. who were you?

a sigh of content escaped your lips as you finished up your rough draft of an essay for your english class. you had been sitting on your ass for the past three hours writing, your stomach now growling because you haven’t had food for severest hours. as if on cue, your roommate, chaesol, walked in looking as tired as ever. you weren’t that close to her, but she was the only person you’d ever consider a friend.

“hey,” you started, turning to look in her direction and watch her plop dramatically onto her twin XL mattress. “long day?”

all she did was hum in response, turning on her back and staring up at the white ceiling. for a few seconds, silence filled the room you both shared. when you stood up after closing your laptop is when she spoke up again. “the cafeteria just closed, by the way. i don’t know if you ate yet but i didn’t see you so i figured i’d let you know.” the groan that left your lips signified that you hadn’t ate, which made her feel bad for not picking you up something. “the snack shack should be open though. it’s not the most healthy but i’d rather you eat something rather than nothing.”

you nodded, grabbing your wallet and putting on your kuromi themed slippers. “thanks for letting me know, chae. do you want anything?”

she shook her head, sitting up lazily in her bed and kicking off her backpack from on top of her bed. “no, i’m good. by the time you come back i might be asleep anyway. i appreciate it though, thank you.” she smiled over at you, waiting for your awkward smile back. and when you sent it her way, she waved as you walked out the door and down to get some fried food.

excitement filled you as you noticed there was no line, only the two workers behind the counter. you walked up to both of them, ordering mozzarella sticks with onion rings and a vanilla cola. you thanked the workers, sitting down on one of the couches after paying and watching whatever was on the miniature TV mounted on the wall. you normally didn’t watch the office, but since it was the only thing on you figured you would invest your time in it for the time being. in fact, you were so invested that you didn’t even feel someone sit next to you.

for a few moments, seunghun just sat there staring at you. not saying a word. when it hit him how weird that probably was, he spoke up. “hey, partner.” his voice caught you off guard, causing you to jump in your seat. he let out a chuckle, putting his hands up in defense when you shot him a glare. “sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. just figured i’d say hi.”

you huffed, his annoying smile spreading across his face yet again. why was he always so happy? “it’s fine, i guess.” you mumbled, turning back to face the TV and watch the commercial that was now being displayed.

he propped his arm up on the back of the couch, resting his head against his fist as he still looked at you. “what’s your name?”

“what?”

“your name. you never told me.”

as if out of some movie, your name was then called from the snack shack. senghun hadn’t ordered anything and there was no one else here besides you both, so there was his answer. it was confirmed when you stood up and walked over to retrieve your food, turning back around to sit at a corner table and much down on some food. you had hoped the cheerful man would leave you be, but here he was sitting in the chair across from you with a goofy, friendly grin.

“may i help you, seunghun?” you questioned before biting down on a mozzarella stick, looking up at him with an annoyed look.

“are you free tomorrow to talk about the project? also your name is very pretty- it suits you well.”

the last sentence caught you off guard, but you didn’t allow it to show. all you did was nod and after swallowing, answer him. “i’m free after one thirty, i’ll text you.”

“okay! i’ll rent out a library room from two to three for us to use and once you text me i’ll send you the details, if that’s okay?”

all you did was nod, standing up with your food and pushing your seat in so you can start walking back to your room. you did not want to speak to him, or anyone for that matter. you already had a low social battery, and having someone like kim seunghun talking your ear off was not helping. plus, after working your ass off you didn’t want to speak to anyone. just spend time with yourself and this delicious food.

you started walking away, but not before hearing him speak up. “hey, wait!” he called out, shuffling to his feet to catch up to you.

you paused, letting out an annoyed groan. “what?” you turned around to face him, puffing out your cheeks to signal irritation.

he pointed to your slippers and then at his. when you looked down, you noticed his pompompurin ones. you looked up at him confused, cocking your head to the side for a moment. “we both like sanrio, i see.”

you nodded, turning around and walking away leaving the tall man standing there alone. at least he knew one way to get through to you now.

the next day you went straight to the library since it was halfway across campus from your class. you hadn’t been looking forward to today, you just had a feeling he would bring up he would bring up the fact both of you liked sanrio. granted you never really spoke about your love for your interests because you believed no one would really care for them, but you couldn’t be more wrong when it came to kim seunghun; you would soon figure that out.

when you arrived, you looked down at your phone to double check the text he had sent you about which room he would be in. you glanced through the glass, seeing him gathering items out of his school bag and noticing a white box sitting in the middle of the table with two cola’s. curiosity entered your mind as you walked through the door, being greeted by his smiling face as he watched you walk to the other end of the round table and take a seat.

he pouted as he opened the white box, hoping you’d sit directly across from him instead of at the other end. “i brought us some snacks and drinks. i noticed you liked vanilla cola so i brought some for us, hope you don’t mind.” he spoke up, looking over at you to see your expression.

you nodded as you took your notebook out of your bag along with a pen. you felt your stomach do a flip as he mentioned the vanilla cola- you hadn’t even told him about your liking of it so he must’ve studied what you bought last night at the snack shack. no one really ever paid attention to you, so why was he? “thank you, seunghun.”

“whyre you sitting so far away?”

“why not?”

“you’re always so distant. shouldn’t we work together?” he picked out a chocolate chip cookie from the box, shoving it into his mouth to take a small bite.

“we are working together. we’re in the same room, at the same table-“

“no, like, sorry to interrupt but shouldn’t we be sitting next to each other as we figure out what to exactly do for this project?”

you knew he was right, but you just hated being close to people. you shrugged, picking up your material and scooting closer to him. he watched as you did so, grabbing the vanilla cola and seeing you eye the box of goodies he picked up from a local bakery.

“okay,” you sighed aloud, opening to the first clean page and clicking open your pen. “i was thinking for the topic we could-“

seunghun placed his head in his hand, watching you speak. when you finished your proposal he nodded, not taking his eyes off of you. “tell me about yourself, y/n.”

you turned to meet his gaze, raising a curious brow. “no.” you reached over for a cookie, grabbing a snickerdoodle which just so happened to be your favorite. “what for?”

“pure curiosity.” he took a mental note of you grabbing the snickerdoodle cookie, assuming it was one of your favorites. “you’re quiet and distant.”

you groaned before taking a sip from your cola, looking away for a split second before looking back at him. “i dont like meeting new people. i just want to get this done, okay?”

he chuckled, bringing his hand up to pat the top of your head gently. “okay, my little kuromi.”

you fake laughed, shaking your head at his nickname for you. “kuromi? really?”

he hummed in response, now turning his notebook open. he grabbed a pencil from a zipper in his bag, beginning to write down the previous idea you mentioned for the project. “you like kuromi and remind me of character. it’s adorable.”

and with that, you both finally started on the project.

in these past few weeks, you and seunghun sadly grew close. you say sadly because you didn’t like meeting new people- overly cheery people at that- but you couldn’t help it when he was the way he was. he paid attention to you, paid attention to your little details and actually listened to you when you spoke. and even though you hated hanging out with him four times a week for an hour, you secretly liked it. he was a comforting presence for you- a change of pace. he enjoyed your presence as well but he didn’t keep that a secret- he actually admitted it a few times to you. you would just roll your eyes and mumble a ‘thanks’, but he knew you secretly enjoyed hearing that- or hoped you did anyway. he wanted to figure you out so bad but has only scraped the surface.

you both ended up getting closer as weeks passed, something you didn’t think would happen but boy oh boy did seunghun have a way with his words. he even opened up to you too, sharing his hopes of becoming a kpop idol and sharing how he’s been training for the past few years. he even shared his worries of never debuting but you reassured him he will because what kind of company would pass up the opportunity of having someone with such an angelic voice debut? they’d be crazy not to. when he first sang for you is when you felt yourself gradually falling for the man; it was just something about the way his eyes held so much love and his voice so much passion that tug at your heart strings. but you, of course, never told him that. because why would you?

as the deadline approached, you both felt upset. you enjoyed your little one hour sessions, never wanting them to end. both of you wondered if your friendship would continue after this project was handed in. seunghun did, and you kind of did too as scary as that was to admit for you. seunghun always wanted to hang out after sessions or even extend them a bit but you refused, not wanting this to go anywhere. you believed that once people entered your life, they would always leave. that’s always how it was for you. once you got close to someone and opened up, whoosh! they left you in the dust. after a while it got old, so you decided to stop seeking out relationships and keep yourself closed off- whether it be romantic or strictly friendship.

seunghun never knew this though, you refused to tell him about it because you knew how he’d respond. he would claim to be different when in reality you were convinced everyone was the same at this point. even though you felt he would be different, you didn’t want to be proven wrong. you even spoke to chaesol about him, gushing about him every so often. she wanted nothing more than you to allow him in your life- you deserved someone like him, after all. she called you both ‘y/nhun’ which always caused you to roll your eyes, even if you did secretly like it.

as your last meeting came to an end, you clicked the submit button on the bottom right corner with a small smile. although you will miss these sessions, you were not going to miss all the work. when the work was finally submitted, seunghun held up his hand for a high five. you, of course, turned to him and high fived him back with enthusiasm.

“finally!” you exclaimed happily with a proud smile on your face.

he let out a small laugh, looking from your eyes to your hands. he tilted his head to admire the difference in hand sizes, his smile growing a bit wider at the realization. he then took your hand in his, playing with your fingers innocently. you just watched him do so, your smile never leaving your face. watching him made your cheeks heat up and your stomach do flips.

“proud of you.” he mumbled, still admiring your hand. all he wanted to do was hold it for hours. for days. for weeks. to place kisses on it.

“you too, honey.” you replied, reaching up and patting the top of his head.

he moved his gaze from your hands to your eyes, his smile not as big as it was before but his eyes still holding so much love within them. “i don’t want this to end.” he confessed, his fingers still playing with yours as he spoke.

clearing your throat, you placed your hand on top of his in comfort. “i don’t want to either but-“

“see, you don’t want to either. so why should we?”

“because i- i just can’t, seunghun.” you replied, looking away from him and into your lap.

“but why, y/n? do you not feel the same?” his voice changed from its usual cheerful tone to a disappointed one, making your heart ache.

“i do but i can’t bring myself to get close to you. you’re gonna leave like everyone else.” and with that, you stood up to grab your items and leave. you couldn’t do this, as much as you wanted to. you wanted him, and vice versa.

he stood up as you did, walking in your direction as you started to walk away towards the door. “i promise im not going to. I never would. im not like everyone else, y/n.” he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, careful not to startle you. “what we have isn’t fiction. i like you, so much.”

you shook your head, opening the door and walking out but not before mumbling, “i like you so much too, kim seunghun. so fucking much.”

you paused at the exit of the building, stuffing your laptop into your bag to protect it from the downpour. you mentally cursed at yourself as you walked outside, wondering why you didn’t bring a hoodie or even an umbrella. all you wanted was to run back to seunghun, to confess to him. but your mind was beating you up about it, yelling at you not to. to protect yourself from the hurt. while your heart ached for his touch one more and your mind wondering what it would be like to have his lips crashed against yours.

as you crossed the parking lot, you crossed the street to then walk through another parking lot to the dorms. sniffles were all you heard besides the rain hitting the pavement beneath your feet- that was, before your name was being screamed as well. your eyes widened, knowing his tone of voice all too well. you took a few steps forward onto the curb before deciding to turn around to see a tall man with short red hair streaming down his face as he ran towards you. his long legs carried him fast towards you, stopping just a few feet in front of you.

you both stared at one another for a few seconds, minds racing faster than ever before. you reached your hand to his face, wiping away some red streaks. he melted under your touch, tilting his head to the side to admire you.

“i know people have treated you badly before, i get it. i know it hurts when people leave, but i can promise you i will never be one of them.” he brought his hands up to your face now, cupping your cheeks and rubbing circles into them lovingly. “i know we’ve only known each other for some time but you make me happy. i don’t want to let this go and look back on what could’ve been.”

“seunghun-“

“let me finish, please.” he said, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “i know it’s scary, but i’ll do everything in my power to make you as comfortable and content as possible. to make you as happy as i can. to bring you the joy you deserve. damnit, i just- can i kiss you?”

you nodded, not holding back on the smile you so desperately wanted to hold back. you brought your hand up to the back of his neck, pulling him in to close the gap between you both. as the rain came down harder, you both smiled into the kiss. neither of you wanted to pull away, both of you enjoying the taste and feeling of one another. everything felt perfect, almost like some kind of sickly teenage movie. but you didn’t care, all you cared about was this moment. you and seunghun.

you were the first to pull away, smiling through the sniffles. “you’re going to catch a cold being out here like this, honey.” you said, grabbing his hand as he laughed. you started pulling him towards the dorms entrance before he pulled you back around to face him again, pulling you in for another quick kiss.

you couldn’t help but laugh as his lips met yours again, him doing the same. but you quickly pulled away, hitting his arm lightly and starting to tug him towards the entrance again. he pouted, grunting dramatically as he followed behind you. “is that a yes?” he asked.

you looked back at him and rolled your eyes as you scanned your dorm ID, walking inside soaking wet with a red haired man following behind you as red streaks painted his face. he smiled at you, squinting his eyes as some red water entered his one eye. you reached up as he hissed at the slight pain, wiping away the streaks and pulling him aside. a soft kiss was planted on each of his cheeks, making his cheeks heat up as you did so.

“of course it’s a yes.”

he pulled you in for a hug, wrapping his arms around your body and planting a dramatic, loud, wet kiss on your forehead. “so you’re officially my little kuromi?”

“too soon, seunghun. too soon.”

#cix #seunghun #cix x reader #cix seunghun #cix scenarios #cix jinyoung #cix fluff #cix angst #cix byounggon #cix yonghee #cix bx #cix hyunsuk

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