#could just do emotes for this tho?

[why-the-heck-not]

started a sourdough starter!!! It’s not even that much abt bread; I just like the idea of having a pet and this is about the max amount of responsibility I’m looking for rn

#an emotional support living flour sludge if u will #altho the conditions aren’t ideal rn: it’s negative degrees so I don’t have a warm enough of a place probably so if (big if) it starts to #ferment it’ll take longer (which means u gotta be extra much on the lookout for mold) #could put it in the oven with just the light on but that freaks me out; I don’t wanna have the oven on for like days (even tho it wouldn’t #actually be on) #also I only have all-purpose flour & whole meal is the best one to induce fermentation #also the flour is past it’s best before date bc I haven’t rly been baking (also one of thr reasons I’m doing this bc like gotta use #up the flour somehow) #so u know we’ll see if anything comes out of this #if nothing else at least I’ll have a project for a couple days #also I’m not naming it yet; that’s for when it’s going strong bc I don’t need to be crying after getting emotionally attached to a #blob of flour & water when said blob dies tragically #march 2024 #2024

[poisonousquinzel]

thinking about just how likely it is that Batman was the only person Harley told about having suicidal thoughts whilst in Arkham in Detective Comics #831

"I was seriously considering hanging sheets from the light in my cell and doing the maximum checkout when I heard this voice..."

Detective Comics #831

and how he knew when she strapped that bomb to herself in Batman (2016) #100 that he had to go after her because she was going let herself die in an attempt to end Joker's rampage for good but that she refused to physically do it because he didn't want to her Kill him and he told her that so she's found a middle ground

"We don't need to end it this way. He needs to be locked back up."

that she'd rather die than keep living with his presence in the world haunting her, haunting Them.

That if he did choose Joker, she wasn't going to disarm the bomb herself.

"Honey. You're talking to the wrong girl if you think he's not dangerous locked up in Arkham. It's like I said. That's not good enough for me. Not anymore."

the way he yells for her as she leaves.

"You're only going to get to one of us in time, Bats. Who's it going to be?"

"Harley!"

the way the two men stare at each other in the way they have so many times before, in those moments when Joker stayed or prioritized their fight over her. the way he knew Joker loved the thrill of it all and thought it was funny, thought there was No way Batman would leave him and that this game had to end as according to the rules. And that Batman would do so, he would follow the rules and save him. The way he immediately assumed Batman would choose him, choose his life and choose to stay and disarm the bomb.

And how Batman didn't do that. How Batman walked away from him, leaving him to die or escape or whatever, because He was choosing Harley and her safety and prioritizing her life over him.

The way he stared him in the eyes before choosing the woman Joker had always left to die over him. The way that it was always Him, it was never a question if he would choose Batman over her, but when faced with that type of scenario, Joker is the one that gets left behind to die.

The way she literally woke up in the hospital instead of them having a scene just outside after he removed it. because she didn't intend to live in one of the two options. the way the bomb probably did go off to some capacity because you don't just end up in the hospital knocked out for a week.

Him saying that he's glad she's okay, after everything they've been through, this war and Everything else. and the way he didn't brush off her concern

"I'm glad you're okay."

"Are you?"

"I had to bury my father again today. I did it with my family."

i just, i can't,,,,, i cant

#have i told yall how much i love batquinn because i really fuckin do #they make me miserable and emotional in all the best ways #we deserve more well written content with them FUCK #and like she COULD have killed that fuckin man when she shot in through the eye but she didn't because she knows how he feels about Murder #even tho j*ker had exposed his identity and was about to horrifically disfigure him in such a similar way to how he permanently changed her #and led her to believe he was going to do AGAIN #during the rebirth death in the family arc when she thought he was going to carve off her face #like she had such a solid reason to just kill him and she could have defended it to batman but she still didn't break that rule #that she knew meant so much to him because shes trying and she doesn't want to ruin the budding trust they've got #and just #i cant #i cannot do it y'all #AND SHE KNOWS HE'S BRUCE AND SHE DIDN'T MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT BECAUSE IT WASN'T SOMETHING BATMAN WANTED EXPOSED #BUT SHE KNEW SHE KNOWS #she heard J*ker say it right before she shot him #and like that just also something she knows he didn't want her or anyone (let alone fucking j*ker) knowing so her aiming for a non deathblo #just #tw abuse mention #tw clown boy #tw blood #tw suicide mention #harley quinn #harleen quinzel #batman #bruce wayne #dc comics #batquinn #♧ comic thoughts ♧ #♢ meta & analysis ♢

[horror-aesthete]

Apparently The Terror producer David Kajganich stated in an Q&A what jobs he thinks the characters would have if they lived in the modern day, and I just…

These are all so fucking funny. Love that one of the show’s producers seemingly has peak Terror brainrot

#personal #amc the terror #the terror #extremely cursed terror posting #also #Franklin- yes 100%. tho I could also see like. mid level office manager who really wants to be your friend #just a real Michael Scott #crozier- yup. fitzjames- yup. #hickey- for sure. silna- absolutely #goodsir- yes. tho I could also just see straight up doctor. like… a pediatric surgeon #little- why do we have to be so mean to this already very sad man???? #hodgson- cursed. so cursed. I HATE it #Irving- yup. blankey- ugh. perfect yes. collins- yes please give this man a break #jopson- YES. oh this made me emotional #hartnell- …there something you wanna tell the class david k? #bridgens- yes. but wheres peglar #tozer- god please don’t make him a cop. please. firefighter works great. gym teacher… I feel like he’s hate children #lady jane- yup. sofia- …honestly yea. I see it

[haemosexuality]

i just heard someone on youtube (T B Skyen) say that silco loved jinx but didnt quite know how to love powder, while vi loves powder but doesnt know how to love jinx. and oooof oof ouch yeah

also it got me thinking and obviously jinx and powder arent two different people shes just going by a different name now but its also not baseless to analyze them as different "characters", or what traits of jinx are part of powder, etc. like the animators literally have a trick where they change her facial structure how they animate jinx to show when shes behaving more like powder. shes completely changed who she is, its jinx now powder fell down a well, sat on the jinx chair embraces who she is etc etc

#powder is like jinxs inner child #while jinx is- or was before the chair scene- the persona she puts on where she loves Violence and Chaos and shes Crazy HaHaHaHaHa #so when someone says like. ''jinx is being more powder in this scene'' it means shes regressing into being more childlike because of her #trauma or maybe shes so distressed and emotional that her persona fell apart for a second and the sad child underneath showed through #''silco loves jinx but doesnt know how to love powder'' means he loves and supports her being confident and smart in her inventions and #trying to accept and move on from her past. but hes teeeeerrible at that bc he doesnt want to let powder heal #he just wants her to bury that part of herself #and vi loves and cares for her baby sister so so much but shes terrified and doesnt want to accept the reality of what shes become #i do think vi had a point before tho. powder Was in there and while that doesnt negate jinx she could still reach her #and maybe help her out #idk how true that is after shimmer and silco dying tho. again. chair scene. the persona has fully become who jinx is theres no going back #powder fell down a well #arcane #jinx arcane #powder arcane #ignore me im just brainstorming ive been thinking about this show CONSTANTLY for the past few weeks i have so many thoughts on everyone #im sure this is a conclusion people reached years ago immediately after the show came out but im slow #theres a point between the child powder and the crazy terrorist jinx where the real true her lies #and that point has been getting closer and closer to the jinx side

[darkvolley]

Excuse the YouTuber in the corner I'm too lazy to switch to a different video but, it's probably a pretty easy conclusion to come to that KH might function off a somewhat stable time loop but nothing has really made it feel blatantly obvious than realizing that actually, since Ansem SoD sent Young Xehanort to Scala, that would mean there would have to be a starting timeline where the first SoD went back to start the loop, meaning there has to be a timeline where Xehanort never left Destiny Islands MEANING there has to be a timeline where SoD never existed, and as such neither did Xemnas and Terranort never happened along with basically everything else. So are we in fact confirming that KH does indeed function off a stable timeloop that never truly "started" somewhere and has just always been this way, or what in the world could have happened to still lead Xehanort to Scala without interference? Cuz now I have to wonder, if we're going by stable timeloop, then either Sora creates the tear in time every loop effectively creating endless ones over and over which could lead to a bigger problem(or not a problem at all if it's supposed to happen??) OR this is somehow the first deviation, which doesn't feel likely considering obviously Quadratum and Srelitizia being there seems to be decidedly factored into the equation here, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it hasn't been. Or maybe the problem is that Sora's genuinely not supposed to be there. Idk where I'm going anymore, but basically if time started somewhere and it hasn't always been a loop, how did we get HERE to the point in the screenshot where SoD/practically everything was able to exist to "create itself" essentially??? And I don't think that's possible without outside intervention, so it's gotta be a stable timeloop!

#(and heres how i can prove MoM is future Sora from the past cuz time loops back around!!!) no i dont wanna make it about that even tho i do #but also now i wonder how MoM meeting young nort even factors into anything when it feels like dark road is the reason he went down his path #like. what further push could meeting MoM have possibly given him that dark road didnt??? #especially since its before the exam #granted imo nort seemed so absent emotions wise from everything happening in DR that i feel like it didnt really affect him at all #i think some interal dialogue from him would have helped tremendously cuz hes just so blank during the whole story #like it does fit his personality as the quiet guy but like. it makes it look like he doesnt care about anything happening #so i mean. if he kinda didnt then yeah maybe the MoM meeting did help push him along #granted i dont remember half the dialogue and ive barely started the video the screenshot is from so like. let me cook before you correct me #i'll correct myself when i get there and remember all the dialogue lol

[nonokoko13]

Me when the first coherent thought I have in the morning is that Grim was either abandoned or his biological parents died and the only family he has ever known are three ghosts everyone was afraid of so everybody left them alone for centuries and a human who doesn't belong who doesn't entirely fit there just like them so they were all alone until they found each other.

Ghosts tied to a space which is unsure whether they can leave or not and a human who may have somebody waiting them back home and may leave with no chance of return. Who can't take Grim with them because where they come from things such as fantasy creatures and magic only exist in fairytales so he'd either live hidden from the world or in danger of being treated as a monster and experimented on because when faced with what it's new and different the world reacts with anger and fear and want to control it and tear it apart until nothing it was before is left.

He doesn't know or understand this but MC does and that's why they would have to leave him behind. His dream of studying magic and be the greatest mage wouldn't come true on Earth, that's the reason they would tell him. It's true even though it's not the main reason why. But Grim would understand they just don't want to stay with him and prefer to leave and forget him because if they did love him they would stay.

Then again he could try to dig up in his origins and find his first family but what if time travel exists and MC from a previous timeline was who gave him the ribbon, his first gift and only possession before arriving at NRC? Meaning MC was the person his world revolved around before he even knew who they were and there was no other family he had.

Doubting the trouble squad has ever have a heart to heart conversation about Grim and MC's fates if or when they depart either because they have forgotten or pretend they aren't aware but deep down Ace and Deuce and all of MC friends know but prefer to keep ignoring it instead of confront their feelings. Grim and Malleus being the only ones who may have never think of it until the moment arrives nor accept it. Just like young children who believe their parents, their pillars, their everything that makes them feel safe, would always be there until death knocks at their door. Because MC have friends and a home in Twisted Wonderland and they need them so why would they leave?

They know MC keeps searching a way home and wondering if their loved ones misses them as much as they do and how much time have passed on their planet without knowing MC wishes they could have it all so they didn't have to choose between their previous family and the one they found there. And neither Grim or Malleus won't admit they know because thinking of it brings back the feeling of abandonment and losing everything that make them feel completed.

But the prince will have both Silver and Sebek and his grandmother for the rest of their lives with him once he returns home, people who was there from the beginning. Time to grow with them and accept they'll leave too. Everyone will graduate and go home and except special occasions each one will go their own path.

Grim will stay with somebody else but it won't be the same for him because he already had a family he wanted to keep together and failed to do so and without the dorm ghosts and MC the only thing left for him is the wound he carried before finding them opened once again that will remember him that nobody in this world can stay by his side forever so he'll stay and search a way to reunite with MC again and wonder if they miss him as much as he does and wishing MC have had everyone they loved in twst so they didn't have to choose or if they had to they had chosen him instead in the end and thinking of how all the future plans they shared and promises they made of growing old together were empty and the words that made him happy about how they loved him now hurt and they failed him and he failed to have everything he wanted and they left they left and he's thinking of them even after promising himself he wouldn't anymore a lie just like theirs and he's crying again and it hurts it hurts and

#twisted wonderland #twst grim #twst book 7 spoilers #I think. probably. the reference is there even if it was unintentional that comparison #sometimes I wish I wasn't a sentient being able to think so I didn't have to imagine things like this #it could have just ended in the first paragraph but noooooo keep adding salt you mf #why do I register thoughts and create scenarios and process emotions WHY #twst angst #this is biased because he my baby and I love him but the thought of never seeing my irl friends and some of my relatives would destroy me #so would it be leaving him tho #also the narrative is altered in some parts because I imagined it as how I believe Grim would think there #if you want to call it narrative #because to me this is a long ass rant about thoughts that ran me over like the black carriage to every mc so far #does anybody knows how to undo scenarios in your head #pass me the bleach #to me Grim has the emotion management and matureness of a child: Still working on it and easily fucked over traumatic shit like mc leaving #if it needs tw or anything let me know

[fisheito]

SCREMS my snautsticic child he is trying ok!!!!!! one tiny snake human hybrid built from the cave-ground-up, , attempting to learn all the implicit rules of humanness?! as if it isn't already tough enough out here!!!!

#ALL he has to work off of is the Great Serpent's memories? fuzzy clips of ppl he might have seen or interacted with?? #depending on the kind of snake he was he could have a variety of defense mechanisms #he could have had to suppress his hissing instinct. or maybe he contorted his body in that adorably vertical corn snake way when he scared #big baby eyes trying to mimic the ppl around him but they are busy being judgemental #so many stupid little human things that villagers try to explain to him as “that's just the way it is” or “never really thought about why” #and yakumo just stares in disbelief bc how could u have never thought about the concept of goosebumps #you're telling me ur skin turns into plucked-bird-skin when you're cold or frightened and that is completely mundane? #you're telling me that when ppl try to hug you it is NOT because they want to strangle u to death and eat u???? #how much strength am i supposed to put into a hug then. NOT bone crushimg?????? #WHAT EMOTION IS THIS GESTURE SUPPOSED TO CONVEY #yakumo #the tags tho #now imagining blade and yakumo shaking hands and discussing “why are humans such funky lil guys and why do they do the things they do” #several of the non-humans gather in a monthly meeting like: #on today's agenda: WTF is kissing. why are they smashing their food holes together. #one week they bring in a guest human (edmond?) and ask him all of humanity's big questions from non-human POV #and edmond's just like ??? i don't know???!?!?? #and eberyone throws up their arms in frustration bc if humans don't make sense to the humans then what are we supposed 2do

[reineyday]

finished watching netflix atla! i think the hate is unjustified lol like all that hate seems a little too intense for what i think the show missed. it didn't hit all the same notes as the original show, yeah, so i'm not sure it quite succeeds as an adaptation, but as a standalone show it's pretty good. and i might have some gripes with the characterization, but there was love in the casting and in the costumes and the world, and that goes a long way for me.

#even tho the costumes DID look reallt new lol #rei rambles #natla #as a show i'd give it like a 7.5 or 8 out of 10 #as an adaptation... 5? 6? #the pacing was kinda weird and katara could be meaner but she wasnt terrible #sokka having a confirmed Thing with suki undermines the way his *first* girlfriend became the moon but that's also whatever #i actually LOVED the way they gave more to iroh and zuko about lu ten #and i heard ppl were mad abt azula which is like... why? she barely appears???? #as for ozai being more emotional--i GET the gripe i do. really. i just. i am not immune to daniel dae kim okay. #been weak for him since i saw him in hawaii five-o and lost okay #first big asian man crush. only handsome asian man on north american tv for a very long time. #im okay with them humanizing ozai if it means more daniel dae kim ngl #narratively sure yeah it sjpports the zuko's and azula's characters better if he unequivocally sucks #but if they're gonna give him more acting meat i'm not gonna mind in the SLIGHTEST #but anyways yeah they v clearly spotlighted iroh & zuko over some team avatar stuff and i'd be more about it if it wasnt done well #but i actually liked it so i dont mind at all #zuko and iroh were super great

[brittlebutch]

it's actually so fascinating to me that Brennan has created a character that maintains a pretty relaxed and mild-mannered demeanor and has said multiple times that the absolute Core of her is "FEAR" and how often we see this Fear manifest specifically in Avoidance; it really nails a relationship to that mentality where your brain fully Stops recognizing the emotion properly out of like, sheer self-defense from the stress of having to carry it all the time

I think this is also perfectly showcased in the way we tend to see Tula swing so suddenly from 'level and steady' to 'snarling Panic' and then back again - Just because your brain has detached itself from the Conscious Recognition of the emotion doesn't mean it can Actually stop itself from experiencing it. So the Fear is always there and always acting as a stressor, but because of that inability to Identify it there's no way to recognize or address it before that final straw hits and your bodymind jumps Straight into Full Meltdown Mode; but then once again, once you drop even a Little bit below that Peak Terror your brain ceases to process the emotion; it's like the most exhausting form of Poor Object Permanence in the world

And even if Tula is aware of this happening to her, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with / address. Even if you're able to spot the symptoms Around the emotion -- chest pain, irritation, nausea, whatever -- because the Emotion Itself is basically impossible to find, you can't really Successfully Pin Down what the problem is OR a way to cope with it. If you can't figure out That You Are Anxious, then figuring out What Is Making You Anxious is impossible, which makes Find A Way To Make Peace With That incomprehensible. That's where the Avoidance comes in: you can no longer identify what might be a Dangerous Situation, which means that Anything New has a big potential to be Really Bad in a variety of ways (ranging "I don't Feel Good" to "Fully Lashing Out bc you've entered Fight/Flight and can't get out of it" to "Actual Outside Danger This Time") and that means the Only Way you know how to be Safe is to just Avoid Doing Anything New and Only stick to Familiar Situations, because anything unfamiliar is a monster of a gamble you don't know how to prepare for or cope with

#N posts stuff #one could argue ‘we see tula worry a lot tho’ but that’s bc Worry is an Action that can occur Separately from Recognizing Anxiety #now that I know tumblr will put a hard cap on your tags w/o telling you i'm resigning myself to posting rambling meta in post body #but i'm not happy about it; anyway i love how often life is full of Coincidences bc this is something I've Finally identified in myself #like. This Month. like this is brand new articulation for some of the problems i have in life; again knowing this doesn't help lmao #bc even when you know to look Around the shape of the emotion - like 'oh my face is Snarling rn. i'm probably experiencing Something' #like i said bc you don't know What that something is OR What might have caused it then the only solution you Ever get to come up with #is just 'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else' which INVARIABLY means that you will wind up in that same situation again #and Still have no idea how to handle it bc you never could figure out what caused it so you don't know how to handle it any better than #'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else'; so 'be somewhere else' is the ONLY way you can ever think to Help it #which usually invariably turns into 'Just Avoid Fucking Everything just in case'; which doesn't work! bc life doesn't let you do that #so then it's just a cycle of falling into the same pitfalls and feeling miserable all the time; gotta love it :) #if you're like me this also gives you Bad Bad Bad Memory bc your brain will Promptly hide evidence of Scary Situation instinctively #like 3 weeks ago this dude ran a red light and almost t-boned me Full Speed & managed to stop like. maybe 3 feet away. #and i like. Startled Laughed and said 'that was scary' and then within 30 seconds i had Fully Forgotten it happened & only remembered #like 2 days ago. Ha! believe it or not this Does Not Help with 'How can I Address the Problem instead of Avoiding It Entirely?' #dimension 20 #d20: stupendous stoats #tula #d20lb

[mattodore]

scrapped pose from theo's birthday edit

little koala 🐨

#river dipping #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #echthroi #a burning house to live in #ts4 #blender #...that's just my general tag for pics of their sims but this is them in blender so it feels weird to use that... oh well lmfao #i'm waiting for sim ripper to load one of the outfits i need for this pose i wanna make so. i'm just in blender spinning mattodore around #i could start working on the pose now and apply the armature later but i'll just wait #ignore theo's weird knees btw........... it's just blender the pose looked fine in game when i tested it originally #do NOT ignore matthias's pancake ass tho! for some reason these slacks just do that to his ass. it's sooo criminal!! he has a bubble butt!! #anyway... theo is like. openly sobbing but his face is literally buried in matthias's shoulder so you can't see his expression #he's so wounded here... i mean obviously since this was originally gonna be in the edit but........ :/ #yk that bit from the caption on the edit where theo gets flashbacks and describes the breeze and the looming darkness..... #and then to have matthias see it all... like that recognition of a part of theo's self that he doesn't even turn his own face toward... ugh #he needed that comfort yk... and he needed to be held. at every age. #UGHHHHH okay okay i'm letting myself get emotional here let's go back to thinking abt matthias's pancake ass in these pics haha funny #insert that screenshot of roman texting ''i am going to kill myself'' to gerri

[opens-up-4-nobody]

hi your art is super adorable! 🥺🤲 idk if you take requests but iruka taking care of baby sasuke is sth i would've loved to see in the series and your fanarts made me think of that love your art lots! 💖

AU where itachi observes iruka being emotionally intelligent and shoves sasuke into his arms

#i just love the idea of itachi watching iruka treat kids like kids and him being like: i am begging u to save my brother from my fate #i mean if we go with canon ages here. we have like 12yo itachi observing 15yo iruka taking care of 5yo naruto #and that makes me so sad. bc by 5yo itachi had already been dragged out onto the aftermath of a battle field by his bastard father :-( #hhhh and if sasuke get healthy exposure to how to deal with emotions and has a closer relationship with iruka before his parents die. #which iruka can relate to. his parents having been violently obliterated. then he could deal with the death of his clan in a less crazy way #and he could be a kid for a lil bit #hhhi just love the idea of iruka gaining sasukes trust post massicure by being like: hey sasuke can u help me and naruto do X thing? #hey sasuke im feeling sad. can i have a hug? u dont think weak right? so it cant be weak to cry #and just demonstrating how to deal with emotions hhhhh i love him so much #god this is too much text tho #hhhhh ive got all the itachi feels rn. he makes me so sad 🥲 #this is another one that's been rotating in my head 😵‍💫 #uchiha itachi #uzumaki naruto #umino iruka #hatake kakashi #uchiha sasuke #naruto

[yuseirra]

This was so beautiful... these guys can date later if they wish ofc it's their free will but I want THIS to be the canon event that's happened sometime in the timeline too, because this is so sweet and wholesome.

#they can't do this to me...this is so emotional #I need to give aigis a hug!! she's so precious #long post #persona 3 reload spoilers #aikoto #this one even adds up to the ending... it's so melancholic..omygod #it was really nice. I like it. I'm so glad I could make it ;v; geez I almost thought I missed it when I had that monday gone bc counseling #persona #the protag was chuckling...he genuinely loved that moment together so much #and having this happen right before the promised day in my playthrough ;v;.. made it very meaningful #not a single day just wasted idling away.. #this is so kimi no kioku tho #it aligns so well with that

[ear-motif]

that thing will does where he scrunches up his face while speaking if hes talking about killers. you agree.

#just noticing its only when hes saying dark shit abt a kill/how badly hes handling it #and i dont think. he ever does it when talking to hannibal? i could be wrong but al the scenes w it i remember him doing that in #are w jack/science team/alana #i think hes struggling to hold back emotion in front of them whereas he can just relax w hannibal #ill hafta take notes on my next watch tho cuz idr for sure #hanniblogging

[sleep-sounds-nice-rn]

I need to stop thinking about him I need to stop thinking about him I need to stop thinking about him

#and I can't just get high when I don't wanna deal with problems bc that's not ok #it's so weird to go from being rlly good friends to casual hookups to nothing at all #I don't even know how to move on bc we were never together and I don't even have romantic feelings for him anymore #I just really miss him #not just the physical stuff but I miss being friends and laughing together #and I know I have a right to be mad at him to some extent but I also feel like if I was less emotional then everything would be fine #he's probably just one of those guys that loses interest after sex but why am I still bothered even tho it's been months #I really cared about him and it hurts to be so distant #I feel like i've fucked everything up bc I got mad at him when really I was mad at myself and my insecurities and also him for ghosting me #but I shouldn't have gotten mad bc we were on good terms and now everything is weird again #and I need to get better and regulating my emotions so I don't do impulsive shit #everything is just rlly weighing on me #it's so strange that we didn't talk for over a month then I got high and texted him and now everything is so much more messy #I want to be completely over him but a part of me still holds on and imagines what could have been #if he had been in love with me or if I hadn't been so overbearing

[venomgaia]

i also have been testing pngtuber+ vs veadotubemini and heres rhe fruit of a 49 layer model

#not all the emotes are shown in this lil demo theres one i keep forgetting where it is lmao #return of the coke heartthrob #i like that i made a pngtuber despite the fact that i am extremelt averse to being percieved in video formats. i used to stream more #n would do drawing streams specifically while working on projects but. ive been outta the game so long im not. too sure how i feel about #like. going back #i also did yt for like. 2 videos during lockdown to try and chronicle that whole art school mess and ended up exploding #this boy is not made for audio/video formats 💔 #this is actually to test run how efficient i could be if i were to make pngtuber a commission option when i open those #this took 5 hours and all his psrts including clothing are separate and he has skin under there (i dont save the images like thst tho) #so i can swap out outfits n stuff n not have over 49 moving parts #the ONE issue with this lineless style though. is recoloring parts #i tried to do recolored mouths for s paragon model and it was a pain so i didnt rlly finish or save it. #i think i still prefer veadotubemini tbh. the blinks feel more natural in it than in pngtuber+ #but i rlly like the bounce that pngtuber+ provides for just Talking #so. hit or miss #and before anyone asks no i will not be learning live2d vtubing and will not make a 3d vtuber #all of that is just too scary for me i respect everyone i see who does it WAY more now that ive like. LOOKED it over #scary shit. leaving that to the professionals #my 3d model is strictly for fun and because i like vr and vrchat. but i do not think ill ever make a vtuber in 3d.

[azurechicken]

It always gets me how Justice did not change at all, like, he is not corrupted at all. It makes everything more tragic than it already is. The only thing that changed was his perception, which of course, naturally came due to the change of hosts. I'm mostly taking Awakening Justice into account and how he acts because that is where we can carefully observe him by himself, without Anders' influence on the matter. And his influence is everything on the point I am trying to make.

When we first meet Justice, he is fulfilling his nature of bringing justice to the people he thinks that need it. He is very outspoken about it, and is already ready to take action with or without Warden's help. For a supposedly peaceful spirit that Anders claims to have ruined with his anger, Justice is acting pretty angry here himself (This is not the only time either). This is one of the first things I want to point out that did not change much about the spirit. Justice was always fierce about his cause. However, what stands out to me in these scenes is when the witch calls him out on his idea of justice.

Justice, is that what you are calling it? What of their punishment, burning my house to the ground and with me in it?

Well, in this case, the witch is a demon and mocking Justice for funsies. But what she says actually gives a bit more insight about what kind of a spirit Justice is. The actions do not speak louder than intent to him, as long as it is within the lines he set for himself. In a way, he was always okay with a few… casualties in the name of justice. Even though it is as simple as burning down a house this time. Isn't violence for violence vengeance after all?

While we are on the topic of vengeance, let's not forget the way he is eager on avenging Kristoff, vowing to kill every darkspawn for his cause (I mean the way he literally calls it avenging is enough debate for some people but I want to continue). So how come wanting to take revenge on the offenders that wronged not only his host but many other people, is any different? How did this route did not take him to the road of vengeance but attacking the templars, who are also offenders that wronged his host and other people, is corrupting him?

The answer is of course, that it is not, it did not. There is no difference between those two for Justice, there is no difference between vengeance and justice. Punishing the ones who deserve it is all there is. There is no gray area for spirits the way there is in the mortal world, and we see this clearly in the way he judges Velanna and Nathaniel for their crimes. Despite what I said about him seeing intent before action, now he cannot see beyond their wrongs. This simply shows that if the intent is as clear as violence for violence, he understands. But he does not understand the gray area of Velanna mistaking the innocents as guilty, or Nathaniel taking back what used to be already his.

 

There might be none for Justice, but there is a difference between darkspawn and templars for mortals. For one, darkspawn are generally mindless, and has no moral compass for us to judge. Whereas templars are just people with different ideals about life, to put it kindly at least. (Which is worse, being a mindless cruel monster, or having the mind and morals to choose to be something else but going for being one anyway? Lol another discussion for another time). Templars are the gray area that Justice lacks the understanding of. When he vows to kill every templar like he did with the darkspawn, he does not suddenly turn into a demon, he is simply punishing the ones that were doing wrong, as he does.

From here we can say that spirits' judgments and mortal's don't exactly match up. Though, there is one idea that seems to match better than others, and that is corruption. As far as we learn from Justice, spirits do not know about corruption any better than we do. Spirit do bad, spirit go bad, right? So, when Justice starts to feel things that are associated with demons, such as envy, he starts to fear corruption. He says he does not want to learn how a demon feels, but he also states that he does see the wishful thinking of a demon wanting to cross the Veil for this world. He is conflicted at best about the whole thing. Still, he does not consider himself corrupted regardless. I think that the reason behind that is simply the fact that generally, the Warden can ease his worries when Justice confides in them. And that is another thing that says a bit about him. He seems to accept the lack of understanding he has in the world, and chooses to listen to someone who does. Though, not just a random anybody, someone he deemed just.

So, let's see. A fade spirit with identity issues and an anxious spirit healer walks into a bar…

When they merged and Justice accepted Anders' cause for himself, and when they went all crazy on the Templars, Anders was scared. He feared the worst immediately because he is taught the worst about possession. He knew that Justice was angry because of him and his ideals about mages. So he blamed himself, called it a corruption he caused. And as I mentioned, Justice is accepting of the fact that he has a lack of understanding of some things. Plus, he was already scared of corruption. So, when Anders, who is an educated mage about possessions and corruption claims that he is slowly corrupting the spirit, they held onto it.

Everyone in their life from this point on, do nothing but egg them on about it, on top of it all. They might not corrupt each other, but everyone else does by pushing them the idea that they are now an abomination. Anders starts to fear the nonexistent corruption more, and Justice is confusing the inability to just wipe all the bad out with sloth. We are talking about a being who comes from the Fade, which can be bent at will and a place of immediate action. This works well in Awakening because we are already fighting darkspawn nonstop, and we are in the middle of a war. But in Kirkwall? Everything requires planning and suspended ideals. Templars bring injustice everywhere they go, yet there is not much they can do. After many years of being held back, it is no wonder Justice is surfacing more and more, itching to fulfill his purpose. Because he was always outspoken, angry at the injustice in the world and eager to bring justice. He did not change, but Anders' morals and his' just did not align the way they thought it would. They forgot that in Justice, there was always a part that was vengeance.

At the end, Justice was one of the most stable parts of Anders' story. He couldn't count his vow in Awakening complete without reaching the root of the problem, which was the broodmother. And he could not do so in Kirkwall without getting rid of the Chantry. Because chantry is the root of the Templars, and being a bystander while you can help solve everything easily is unjust all the same.

Anders and Justice had the same cause, different morality and they were just confused because they didn't know any better.

#going through awakening again made me so annoyinnnng i cant stop thinking about justice #listen i have so much more to say #justice didnt become a corrupted spirit when he went on a vengeance run on the darkspawn #and he didnt become a demon when he went on another vengeance run on templars #but once people were included they became confused #and this kinda goes to show that spirits' morality is all about their awareness of a wrong-doing imo #spirits' idea of doing something “bad” could mean something totally different like they need to be held a different judgment on the matter #demons could be just confused beings with too much feelings they couldn't understand so they became them #if they embody their name as much as spirits do there is nothing they can do about it #they cannot simply be bad because the emotion is not the bad part about such things they are the natural part #the bad part of negative emotions are the fact that they cause actions that we mortals would count as bad #at one point what of the nightmare demon eating away the fears we would be glad to be rid of is so bad? #and justice going as far as a boom for his virtue isnt something we could judge him bad for its just his nature #y'know? does that make sense? #they were right to blow shit up tho lol #im sleep deprived #i wrote this for myself but u can also have it lol #justice #anders #justice positive #anders positive #dragon age #dragon age awakening #me own