#cuz they could have told you not to eat 7 day old chicken...

[agirlwithbigdreamsforher]

CHAPTER 3

THE NANNY: CHAPTER 3

Pairing: Andy Barber x Annie Johnson (OFC)

Summary: Working and single parenting is not easy. Andy needs to find a nanny for his son Jacob. Annie, an education degree student at Lasell University, comes to their lives just in time for the big changes in Andy’s life.

Warnings: none… a little cursing.

A/N: This is a story with a younger Andy Barber (30) and a 3 year old Jacob. English is not my first language, I know Little about how education (in general) and universities work in the States, also, I don’t know anything about laws, DA, ADA, etc. sooooo don’t come from me, please, at the end of the day this is just fiction and the purpose is to entertain. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not give permission for any of my works to be copied, used, translated nor reposted anywhere else but here on this blog. Do not steal what you didn’t work for. Minors and ageless blank blogs don’t interact with me or my works. Reblogs and likes are always welcome. Thank you for reading this work of fiction.

Word count: 1991

GIF not mine, if it is your, please let me know so I can give you credit :)

                                     ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

After the first couple of weeks, Jake and Annie became closer, and Andy was more stressed as days passed by. He came home, had dinner, kissed his son goodnight and locked himself in his office. Annie’s schedule was never due at 7, she always had to stay longer and that started to bother Daniel, who didn’t like the idea of his girlfriend being in the house of a single man at night.

It was a Wednesday and Andy came back home early, but as soon as he got in, he went to his office and kept working. Annie and Jake were playing to be pirates on the living room, it didn’t take long for Andy to come out of his office.

“Hey! I’m trying to work here! Keep it down!” and then he slammed the door.

“Daddy is apset.”

“Daddy is stressed, wanna help me to make dinner?”

An hour later dinner was ready, Annie sat Jake around the table, and served his and Andy’s plate. She made chicken with roasted potatoes and a side salad. She walked to the lion’s cage, knocked at the door, and slightly opened it.

“Hi… dinner is ready. Jake is already waiting for you.”

“I’m busy. I’ll have dinner later.”

Andy was surrounded by a bunch of files and his laptop was on in front of him.

“But, your son…”

“I just told you I’m busy! You have dinner with him.”

Annie closed the door and went back to the dining room where Jake was playing with his food. She sat down in Andy’s place.

“Don’t do that sweetie.”

“Is daddy not eating with me?”

“He is busy, but he said I could eat with you.”

The boy lowered his head and then nodded. After they finished their dinner, Annie send Jake to his room and she cleaned the kitchen. It was almost 9 and as it was to be expected her phone didn’t stop ringing, it was Daniel.

“Where the fuck are you???” One more text, “have you seen the time?” another one, “answer me!”

“Still working” was her only reply.

Once she finished cleaning, she went upstairs to tugged Jake in, but her heart broke when he saw the little boy crying on his pillow.

“Hey, what’s wrong sweetie?” she took him in her arms.

“Daddy… is…busy… and angy… cuz…and… he… mad… me!!! Jake said between sobs.

“shhh, shhh, he is not mad at you, he just has a lot of work to do, this has nothing to do with you. He loves you very much”

“I want him to play with me!”

“I know, I know, but he is working right now. I’m sure you two would play on the weekend, and go for ice cream, and watch a movie, what else would you like to do?”

“I wanna play pawrates with him.”

“Perfect, we can add that to the list. But if we wanna do that, first we have to stop crying, and go to bed cuz is late.”

Jake cleaned his face and make himself comfortable on his bed; 5 minutes later he was fast asleep but Annie was boiling inside. She went downstairs and opened Andy’s office unannounced. Andy looked at her with wide eyes while he held his phone against his ear.

“What’s your problem?! No, not you Neal, I’ll call you back.” He hung up the phone.

“You really wanna know?! Your son went to bed crying! Because you are too fucking busy to have dinner with him!!!!” Annie took a breath. “And I’m sorry, I know this is your job, but as far as I know you made a promise, to always have dinner and play with him a little before going to bed. Does that mean nothing to you?!!!”

“Hey! I won’t allow you to talk to me like that! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THING YOU ARE?! His voice was getting louder by the minute. “OF COURSE IT MEANS SOMETHING! YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT MY SON! HE IS THE REASON I ACCEPTED THIS JOB!

“Well, then prove it! Leave your work for later when you come back home! He needs you!”

Annie turned around and went to the leaving room to pick her things up.

“COME BACK HERE! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!”

“I’m going home, look at the time, I should’ve been out of here almost 2 hours ago, my boyfriend won’t stop texting, and I stayed because I didn’t want to leave Jake with his so-called father, cuz I knew you were not going to pay attention to him.”

“YOU ARE FIRED!”

Annie went out of the house and ran to her car, leaving the Barber’s house behind. Andy stood in the living room running his hands through his hair. The case he was working on was getting the best out of him, and even though he wanted to spend time with Jake and go to bed early, he couldn’t. He had to prove everyone he could manage to be the ADA, otherwise he will be fired. Andy climbed the stairs to his son’s room, the boy was slightly snoring when he came in, he could see the fainted pink color on his cheeks and his puffy eyes, and it wasn’t long before he started crying at the sight of his son. He felt miserable.

Once Annie came back home, he found herself with a very pissed Daniel, he was sitting on the living room watching the news.

“It was about damn time.” He said without looking at her.

“I’m sorry, is just that I was very busy. Dinner took a little longer cuz Andy…”

“Andy?” he turned to see her, “I think Mister Barber is more adequate considering he is your boss.”

“He asked me to call him like that.” She answered shyly.

“I’m sure he did,” Daniel stood in front of her, “What else did he ask you to do?”

“Nothing, I swear,” She could see the anger in his eyes, “Why are you acting like this? Are you jealous or something?” Daniel laughed at her question.

“I’m sure I have nothing to be jealous about, right?”

“Of course not baby, He is just my boss, he had things to do and asked me to stay a little longer, no biggie.”

“Well I just hope he pays you for the extra hours.”

Annie stayed in silence, she rushed out of the house, she didn’t even think about the payment of the week, not about a payment for extra hours; the extra time was never discussed by any of them.

“I…” Daniel stared at her with a harsh look, “yeah, of course he will.”

“Dinner is cold, if you are hungry heat it yourself.” And with that he left the living room.

Maybe it was not a good time to bring up the fact she was now unemployed because she yelled to her boss.

 It was more than obvious that Annie didn’t show up the next day to take care of Jake and Andy had to take the child with him to the office, which was a complete disaster, Jake was annoyed by everything, mainly cuz his dad couldn’t play with him in office hours. Andy gave Jake a couple of paper sheets, pens and markers. He had done at least 10 drawings and pasted them all over Andy’s office, but that wasn’t enough to entertain him.

“Hey Andy, may I come in?” Neal was standing at the door with some files on his hands.

Neal was Andy’s “replacement”, he started working in Newton a year ago and now he was in charge of some of the cases Andy was working on before he was promoted, so in a way Andy still had to help him. Neal was eager to learn and please anyone, he was a couple of years younger than Andy so he couldn’t blame him, cuz he was the same way when he started.

“Sure, what’s wrong?”

“Ok, so the case of Mr. Bronson, it says here they found out new information…”

“I wanna go home!” Jake yelled.

“Jake, I’m working, I told you; you have to be quiet.” He turned his gaze towards Neal, “I’m sorry, you were saying?”

“The evidence is not complete, you wrote some notes here, about the witnesses, but the information is not complete.”

“I wanna play wif Annie!” Jake kicked Andy’s chair.

“Well, she is not here, so cut it out!” Andy snapped at Jake who only crossed his arms and pouted. “Do you have kids?” Andy asked Neal.

“No, I’m not even married.”

“Good, keep it that way a little longer.” Neal smiled at him and shook his head. “That information is in the file room 2, under the name of the witness I wrote there.”

“Thanks, man.” Neal stood “Bye, Jake. I like your drawings.”

“Fanks!” The boy waved and smiled to Neal.

Andy threw his head back and took a deep breath.

“I wanna go home.” Jake said quietly this time.

“Jake, you said you’ll behave, this is not behaving.” Jake crossed his arms again “Stop pouting, or there won’t be movie night tomorrow.”

“Andy? Can you come to my office?” Lynn, Andy’s boss, stood at Andy’s door with her arms crossed.

“Sure. Jake stay here, don’t touch anything.” Andy said to the boy who was pouting in a chair next to him.

Andy passed in front of his old desk, now Neal’s and Mrs. Stevenson’s desk, gave Neal a scary grimace, and Neal laughed at him, came into Lynn’s office and sat in front of her.

“Andy, I care about you, and I love Jake but he can’t be here.”

“I know, I had a situation.”

“Who’s Annie? Your son won’t stop talking about her. Are you dating someone?

“No, is her nanny. Pam thought it was a good idea to get help, Jake loves her.”

“If he has a nanny, why is he here?”

“Cuz I fired her last night” Andy sighed “She said some things I wasn’t particular thrill about, so I fired her.”

“What did she say?”

Andy told her about the argument they had the night before, just for Lynn to look at him with severe expression.

“Look you don’t have to prove anything. If I gave this job is because you deserved it, and because I knew you were good at it. If this means you are compromising your relationship with your son then yes, I could fire you. Your nanny is right, I know we sometimes have to keep working at home, but do that on your own time, don’t use your son’s. Go home Andy, spend the whole afternoon with your kid. And I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Andy came out of the office and took Jake to the park and to have ice cream. The boy was excited to be playing with him after all the work his dad had on his shoulders. They were sitting on a bench eating their ice cream.

“Jake, we need to talk buddy. I want to apologize for not spending time with you. I had to do some things about work and…”

“Striss” the boy smiled at him with his face covered in chocolate “Annie telled me.”

“Did she? What else did she tell you?”

“Dat you love me.” He was focused on the melting ice cream on his hands. “She always say dat.” He licked a bit of the chocolate in his small hands, “love you too daddy.”

“Really? How much does Jake love dad?”

“Too much!!!!” the boy said joyfully, hugged Andy and kissed him on the cheek, leaving small stains of chocolate over his shirt and face, “Can we buy Annie ice cream?”

“Sure. But you know, what if I’ll call her and maybe we can get more ice cream tomorrow.”

“Pizza!”

“Hehehe, pizza then. Let’s go home.”

Jake nodded and smiled at his dad, and Andy was only thinking how to apologize to Annie and make her come back, he needed her.

#andybarber #andyxreader #andyxannie #andyandannie #defendingjacob #Defending Jacob #chris evans #the nanny and andy barber #andy barber fic #andy barber fanfic #andy barber fanfiction

[bioethicists]

~fitness and productivity~ ppl have everyone believing that eating week old leftovers for lunch is productive, healthy planning and not something you do when you're poor and depressed

#~meal planning~ like no you're eating the same chicken 7 days in a row #this is how i know you're rich because you don't know anyone with servsafe #cuz they could have told you not to eat 7 day old chicken... #now listen i myself have eaten some old leftovers in my day BUT everyone in my life knows to tell me that's gnarly #including the individuals in my home who do mock me #but listen i was raised by a father with ocd #ANYWAYS eating 7 day old chicken is something you do if you're 1) mentally ill or 2) a rich pinterest mom

[palbabor-writes]

Moniker

Hawks Week 2020 - Prompt: Rebirth

Character: Keigo Takami - Hawks

Warnings: Angst, some adult language, the drama of growing up

Word Count: 5433

“They need you to pick a name, Keigo. You’re old enough now and the data has shown that you’re learning how to control your quirk. The advancements we’ve seen in the last few months have been outstanding. The HPSC wants you to start making a name for yourself, publicly. We’re hoping, in six or so years, you’ll be operating on a professional level. 

So, look over those names and pick one. Once you do, you’ll no longer go by Keigo Takami. No, that name will be expunged from the records.”

Why? He’d wanted to ask. Why can’t he keep his name? Does it really matter? What were they going to do with him? Why was he even in this program? 

There were so many questions racing through his mind. But, he just nodded and looked out the window. What good did it do to ask? They weren’t going to tell him anything. This was all just another manipulation. They always tried, so, so hard to let him feel like he had a say in his name, in his life, in anything. 

In reality, he was just their little puppet, floating along on a tight string.

Notes: Part of Hawks Week 2020, Day 7 - Prompt: Rebirth.

This fic, like my Shigaraki exploration, Phantasma is part of a smaller series I’m calling Hopscotch. There’s a ton of kids in the BNHA universe that just need a freaking hug, man. But, all this trauma does give me some nice topics to write about...Not beta edited, so all mistakes are mine, and mine alone.

Moniker mon·i·ker /ˈmänəkər/ noun a name.

Keigo Takami is a ward of the Hero Public Safety Commission. 

He’s been a ward for most of his life. He’s used to the routine: the daily drills, the daily training, the daily lessons, the daily lectures, the daily monotony of it all. 

He’s never alone. 

There’s always a few of them hovering. They, being the agents who are assigned to his daily care and maintenance. They’re like black spots, bleeding out against the clean, crisp linoleum floors. He’s shuttled around like a chess piece. As if he needs a shadow to guide him. He knows this building inside and out. He knows just where to perch if he wants to avoid the cameras and he knows the secrets of at least five or six of his handlers. 

They blurt stuff out around him. People never think kids are listening. Too bad for them, cuz, he’s got enough dirt to take them straight to the top if he wanted to. Not that he wants to. Some of the handlers are nice, but Keigo has learned that sometimes nice is another way to say: manipulative.

So, he imagines that he can flex a little control over them, too. He’s got the information, he’s just not sure who to take it to. He’s never seen the head of the HPSC. They remain an enigma. The leader of this whole thing is the one piece he hasn’t slipped onto the puzzle. No, whoever they are, they’re mysterious. He only knows they exist because he’s seen their hen scratch of a signature on his progress reports and monthly, “how are you doing Keigo,” emails. 

Despite the mystery, the head of the HPSC is the one constant in his life. He can’t say the same of his handlers. Most of the people who surround him shift and change. They’re like a tide.

When he was younger, his father used to take him down to the beach. Keigo was always fascinated by the pull, the drag, of that dark blue water.

Yeah, these handlers of his moved in and out like a tide. Every month it was someone else. One or two might be familiar faces, but they never told him their names. Well, not their real names at least. No, no one ever revealed those. Keigo was accustomed to the secrecy of it all. It was kinda boring. 

But, most days were. 

It was just him and the various adults who were tasked with his lessons or training schedules. It was a never ending circle, a rotation of sameness that made his teeth ache. There were no other kids at the base. No, lucky him, he was the only one selected to receive this special training.

When he was smaller he’d been a little more excited. He’d wander behind the dark suits, clutching his Endeavor figure to his chest, his eyes scanning every room, every person, every crevice. 

You can never be too careful Kei, his father had told him, his golden eyes winking down at him. Always keep your eyes and ears open. 

“It’s a special program, Keigo. Starting today, you need to say goodbye to your name. You’re going to become a very special hero, okay?” 

It was a younger man who had talked with him that afternoon. He can remember looking down at his toy, the plastic heavy, sticking to his clenched arms. Keigo can recall his small voice asking the man two questions: “Can I be like him? Can I be a hero who beats the bad guys?”

At the time, they had felt so, well, important to him. They were all encompassing, vital queries that needed to know the answer to back then. He disliked them now. They were stupid questions. Besides, what self respecting adult takes the word of a six year old seriously? 

He’s eleven now. He’s way past those childish dreams. And, they still hadn’t taken his name from him. Oh, they hinted at it. He’d even caught sight of one of the lists. 

The lists were the long rows and rows of potential hero names for Keigo. Not that he was asked much about any of this. His opinion didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. He’d only managed to see one of the lists a few years ago. His handler hadn’t been expecting him back so fast. 

He wasn’t supposed to use his wings unless he was in the training facility. Little did they know, he’d been practicing. How could he not? He could feel each and every tiny thing with his feathers. It drove him insane. If he was drifting off to sleep he would feel the electricity humming through the walls. When he focused hard enough he could hear the distant conversations happening on the floors above him. 

It was an endless march of noise, emotion, and sensations. He felt like he was overstimulated all the time, his skin too heavy for his bones. He wanted to scream some days: get these off me, I can’t, I-I can’t take it. But, he had to learn how to grapple with his quirk. It was part of him. 

Still, sometimes he wished he was someone, anyone else. 

‘Turn it off’, they said, ‘dampen the urge to reach out with your feathers’. 

Yeah, right. Let them slip into his quirk, see how much they liked the all consuming sensation of it all. It was too much, too intense. Some days it’s a fight to make himself get out of his bed. Everything is just...too close, sometimes. 

He’s just a kid, he wanted to tell them. Like that would grant him a reprieve. No, he already knew what answer they would give him. The HPSC had selected you for a purpose, a reason, Keigo. 

They fed him such vague, well, bullshit. Yeah, he knows he shouldn’t say words like that, whatever. They shouldn’t be doing this, er, whatever it was that they were hoping to achieve with him. But, it’s not like the confirmed acknowledgement of their preposterousness would stop them. No, he’d learned to keep his mouth shut and his eyes open. It was the best way to survive the endless march of days and weeks. He would nod, practice, and then practice a little more in secret. 

It’s his quirk after all. If he could perfect it, maybe they would loosen his leash.  

His wings were still a little stunted. They could grow to longer points, but it took a lot of time and a lot of concentration. It was like his body knew exactly what he could, or could not, in this case, handle. More feathers meant more sensations. More sensations meant less sleep, less control, and, worst of all, less autonomy. There would be more tests, more training, more, more, more. 

Still, he worked at it. It was a double edged sword. He both hated, and loved, the improvements he saw within himself. 

Despite his impeded wing growth, Keigo could flap himself along now. He could even hover in the air for a little while, but his back would protest the strain after forty minutes or so. It hurt to hold himself up. His shoulders just weren't broad enough to maintain his weight. He’d been hoping that eating a little more would help. You know, beef him up a little. 

He’d brought the subject up with one of his handlers, one of the ones he actually knew. The man had nodded, his curly blonde hair bobbing around his ears. And, with that, his food rations were extended. He was also given some other choices too. Some steak, veal, higher protein foods. He’d stubbornly stuck with chicken. He liked the taste. Never one to pass up an opportunity, Keigo took advantage of the larger portions and he gorged himself on the succulent meat. 

Four weeks later, he hadn’t grown much. Maybe what, half a pound? Nah, most of that energy must have been consumed by his quirk. But, the more he ate, the easier it was to focus on it. Meh, still a win, win. At least from the HPSC’s viewpoint. 

He mentioned that there are never any kids around the HPSC training facility, right? 

Adults? You couldn’t swing a dead cat and not hit at least 4 or 5 of them, at any given moment. Keigo didn’t mind. He was used to adults. By nature he was quiet, observant. It was his habit to position himself in the corners of rooms. It let him see anyone and everyone who entered or left. He likes watching. But, he’s done that his whole life. Even before the HPSC picked him up he’d learned how to hone that skill. 

Now, the trainers and handlers were trying to break him of that tic. 

‘You need to curb that Keigo’, they’d say. ‘If you’re going to become a successful hero you can’t just sit in the shadows. We already have plenty of agents who are trained for that. No, you need to be more gregarious. Speak up, talk with people. You’ve been drilled in this skill, now show us what you’ve learned. We want you to be a hero’.

So, he myna birds what they ask. They’ll leave him alone that way. Sure, sure, he’s rewarded with gifts, with praise, with extra free time. But, it’s all so calculated. He can smell their intentions a mile away. He’s seen the books some of them read. They were books with titles like: The Psychology of the Child, The Developing Mind, Playing and Reality. 

If that wasn’t obvious enough, he’d heard some of the conversations they passed as they handed off their shifts, the words lilting back and forth, like secret notes. 

“Ignore his minor tactics. It’s just him responding to the attention. Only praise him when he’s behaving.” Or, “Give Keigo labeled praise. You know, build his self esteem. He’s so quiet, it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking. Pack a snack for him. That way when he opens up to you, boom! Treat in hand.”

Do they not realize how much he can hear? God, adults are dumb. Smile and give them what they want, or, say what they most need to hear and they’re eating out of your hand. Meanwhile, as they’re congratulating themselves on a job well done, they had no idea what thoughts were racing behind his golden irises. 

No, Keigo is motivated by other things. One motivation trumps all the others: he wants to get outta this place. Just for a day, heck, he’d take an hour. Keigo is tired of the same walkway, the same lunch hall, the same dreary views of the city. 

It’s springtime in Japan and Keigo can make his feathers molt. It’s a newer skill, one he’s withholding from his handlers for the time being. Maybe if he feigns a cough, he can pretend to be sick? He’s gotten pretty good at acting now. That was another one of his classes. It was like a, how to deceive someone 101. Actually, it was prolly called something like ‘Espionage for Tots’. 

It was fun. He liked the smiles and serious faces he was asked to make. They should have slapped a big: “please, Keigo, don’t use these skills to deceive us” disclaimer on the door. He liked the guy that taught it, too. He was a short, unassuming man, but he would genuinely grin at Keigo each time he walked through the door for his session. Oh, wait. Was that just an act? He’d have to ask him. Boy, he’s good if it was. He needs to shore up his own skills…

He could always pretend that an imaginary sick day was part of the lesson. Look! My poor feathers, they’re molting, how sad. Also, cough, cough, I feel ill. No, ill is a bad choice of words. Ahem, I mean, I don’t feel so good. Can I lay down? Maybe prop open my window, for the fresh air. Oh no! I accidentally swooped out. Cough, cough.  

Keigo isn’t even sure what he’d do with himself if he could manage to sneak out. It’s not like he’s not noticeable. He’s sporting at least 7 feet of ruby red plumage now. Well, if he’s gonna plan an escape, he might as well do it-

“Keigo,” it’s a sharp voice, and it startles him out of his musings. It belongs to one of the head handlers. Kaori? Yeah, that’s her name. Eh, the one she’d given him at least. She’s nice enough, a little rough around the edges at times, but she’s fair. Maybe, oh, maybe he can ask her about-

“Are you listening, Keigo? We need to go. The provost was expecting us over an hour ago. Where have you been? Mai couldn’t find you so she asked me to look for you.”

“I was up there.” Keigo points, his chin lifting to follow his movement, wings fluttering against his back. Despite her tone, Kaori doesn’t seem too upset. Her heartbeat is normal. But, that didn’t mean much around here.

“Up there?” Kaori’s tone is faint and a little awed. She turns her violet gaze to his, pursing her lips into a thin line. “Since when?”

“It’s been, ah, three months and sixteen days since I first made it to that perch. They didn’t like that I went so far. Eiichi said he was going to document it though. I mean, it ain’t too far. Guess I can go for a lower spot next time. I just like that I can see more up there, it makes it-”

“No, no. It’s fine Keigo. Don’t say “ain’t,” it’s slang. I suppose it has been awhile since I’ve seen you. How old are you now? Ten?”

“Eleven,” Keigo replies, his back straightening, wings arching beside his head.

“Mmm, eleven. Gosh, you’re growing up fast,” Kaori’s reply is sharp, practiced. Keigo rolls his eyes. She wanted to spark a reaction out of him. See if he’ll puff up with joy or grow sullen with her mistake of thinking he’s younger than he is. It’s easier to assign him extra training than really deal with him. At least, that’s what some of his handlers seemed to think. 

“Have you seen the news?” Kaori asks, violet eyes resting on his amber ones. “There’s a mission coming up. Endeavor’s agency is taking it on.”

Keigo feels his wings lifting again, but he quickly suppresses the motion, his shoulders hunching forward. He never, ever, wanted to seem too eager. Not when they’d primed him for such an obvious tell. It’s not like they didn’t know what heroes he admired. 

Yeah, Keigo had seen the news. He was permitted two hours of television each day. Most blocks were taken up with watching the latest developments. Sometimes he would shift the channel to a cartoon, but the television time would be lessened if he watched nonsense for too long. No, the tv was for educational purposes only, not for leisure or fun. He’d heard that line enough to have it memorized. 

“What about it?” Keigo asks, falling into step with Kaori. She’s taking the long way back to his next lesson. Clearly, she’s wanting to glean something from him. 

“Well, I was thinking it might be beneficial for you to observe the mission.”

“What, like on CCTV or something?”

“No. In person. We would need to fit into the crowd, but this mission has been widely publicized, it’s a miracle the villain’s haven’t heard about it.”

“That, or they want the fight.”

Kaori laughs. “Very good, excellent observation. You’ve improved Keigo. Consider this a set date. I will personally escort you to the mission viewing point. At the end of the exercise, I would like to hear your opinion on the matter.”

Keigo bites his tongue. 

It’s too slick again, too obvious. The mission Kaori mentioned fits the profile of a raid, not the everyday, run of the mill, villain sting. Endeavor’s agency had been squaring up with the lower level fighting rings for months now. This was just another day for him. The number two hero promised to clean up crime and he was following through with that assertion. 

So, why take him to see it now? Why did it matter if Keigo saw it in person? The data and video would be uploaded the next day to the HPSC database, he could just watch it and take notes then. 

Why is she doing this?

Keigo chances a glance at her face. She’s pale, stern and stoic above him. Her heels click on the tiles and her back is ramrod straight. A few feathers bristle, feeling, listening, nah, her pulse is steady too. It’s hopeless. Maybe this is the challenge? Something to test him, to try and see if he can get a read on the unreadable?

“What’s the point of me going? What good does it do? My data sheets haven’t slipped enough to call for anything like this.”

“Don’t be so critical of everything Keigo,” Kaori scolds him, her purple eyes lingering on his spreading plumage. “It’s not a test, it’s not a drill. I just...I can remember what it was like to be a teenager and be trapped doing something I didn’t want to do.”

Again, Keigo is silent after her declaration. He’s not really sure how to answer. Pragmatic, logical, even angry responses, he’s used to those. This? What is this? Some kinda misplaced empathy? He never would have placed an empathetic bone in Kaori’s body before today. 

They pause at the provost’s doorway and Kaori places an arm on his shoulder, demanding his attention with her strong grip. 

“Let me know by tomorrow.” 

And, with that, she’s gone, pacing down the long hallway, her heels tapping a sharp tattoo against the flooring. Keigo narrows his eyes, avian pupils dilating, focusing. Sure, maybe it was just an opportunity, a chance for him to get out of the headquarters for a while, but there’s always a catch. 

******

The email comes a few hours later. 

Keigo is sprawled across his bed, his wings tucked safely along his shoulders as he flips through his textbook. He lifts his head from his pillow and sighs heavily at the familiar chime from his computer. It’s either more geometry problems or it’ll have something to do with what Kaori was discussing: The Endeavor mission.

His wings shift and rustle as he stands. He’s agitated, on edge. He dislikes being maneuvered into a corner. No matter what the email is over, he’ll feel obligated to say yes. Even if it’s by default. 

Keigo steps up to his computer, his long fingers racing over the keypad, typing in his encrypted password. As he waits for the screen to load, his eyes fall to the battered figurine beside his monitor. 

It’s the Endeavor toy. He’s kept it all these years, safe and sound, in each bedroom he’s moved to. The flames are dull and his bright blue uniform is more mottled than cobalt, but it’s still a tiny piece of his other life. 

His father had given it to him. It was years ago. He hadn’t thought he was going to get anything for his birthday, but then, his father had flown in, his own plumage glimmering against the dying sunlight and presented four year old Keigo with the toy. He had clutched it to him, his eyes shining and bright. 

“Dad! Ah, how did you know?” 

His father had beamed at him, his eyes softening at the sight of his son’s genuine smile. Keigo didn’t smile a lot back then. Their life was too tumultuous, too chaotic. There was too much at stake. His father had gathered him up and pressed the button that activated the toy’s internal voice box. Keigo had squealed with delight and wrapped his arms around his father’s neck. 

Now, Keigo traces a single finger along the top of the Endeavor’s head, running along the dimmed flames. He’s seen a decent amount of coverage on the number two hero lately. He’d even gone as far as studying his moves. Not that it mattered. His quirk would never be a match for the flame heroes skills. But, he had to admire the guy. 

He was constantly overshadowed, outranked and outclassed by All Might. Still, Endeavor pushed forward. He’s the only one who really tried to overtake the number one hero. It was both impressive and, well, kinda pathetic, desperate even. All the same, Keigo kept hunting for news of the number two. Once you have a favorite, Keigo reasoned, you tend to stick with them. 

Tearing his eyes away from the little figurine, Keigo clicks on the new email. He blinks a few times, even rubs his eyes. No, no way. He spreads his fingers along the computer’s trackpad, enhancing the words. Yeah, no, it’s really there. 

It’s the list. 

Remember? The one with all the HPSC’s approved names for him? 

It’s, well, it’s even more anticlimactic than he was expecting. Damn, it’s over three pages of the most asinine, inane bullshit. Two bad words, oh no, and in one sentence. In his defense, this crap deserved a whole string of curse words.  

There are names like: REDWING, Darkbird, Vulture, WINGMAN, Canary, Condor, RED Condor, Northwind, Zauriel, Red jay, WING. God, it’s just page after page of trash. Whomever they paid to create this, well, they needed a new day job. Might as well just call him: BIRDBOY or something. Sighing, Keigo clicks out of the email, his plumage lifting and lowering, feathers rustling again, perturbed. Yeah, he’s got wings. So what? That’s not all he is.  

Keigo is about to pace back to his bed when another email chimes in. Groaning, he doesn’t even look at the sender before opening it. Oh.

It’s from Kaori and the head of the HPSC. They were wanting to confirm the viewing of the Endeavor mission. Both felt that it was a good use of Keigo’s time and the HPSC’s resources. They just need his answer.

Funny, Keigo thinks, tapping a quick reply, they always like to pretend that he has a say in things. 

******

He’s never been a tall kid. He’s not sure if it’s his quirk or something genealogical. Quirk makes the most sense. It’s hard enough to lug his own tiny body around, he can’t even imagine trying to pull someone like Endeavor into the air. 

Keigo’s seen the number two plenty of times. God, hundreds and hundreds of times, really. But, he’s not prepared for the hulk of a man that is standing before him. Enji Todoroki, that’s his real name. Most heroes don’t hide their civilian names. No, they’re all listed in the databases of the HPSC and open for public scrutiny. Keigo shifts on the balls of his feet, his toes tapping against the pavement. Apparently, that’s not going to be an option for him.

Kaori had sat, prim and proper, next to him in the long black car as they drove to the mission site. Her violet eyes were dull flints of purple as she relayed the news: 

“They need you to pick a name, Keigo. You’re old enough now and the data has shown that you’re learning how to control your quirk. The advancements we’ve seen in the last few months have been outstanding. The HPSC wants you to start making a name for yourself, publicly. We’re hoping, in six or so years, you’ll be operating on a professional level. 

So, look over those names and pick one. Once you do, you’ll no longer go by Keigo Takami. No, that name will be expunged from the records.”

Why? He’d wanted to ask. Why can’t he keep his name? Does it really matter? What were they going to do with him? Why was he even in this program? There were so many questions racing through his mind. But, he just nodded and looked out the window. 

What good did it do to ask? They weren’t going to tell him anything. This was all just another manipulation. They always tried, so, so hard to let him feel like he had a say in his name, in his life, in anything. In reality, he was just their little puppet, floating along on a tight string. 

Keigo looked over the police tape to Endeavor again. Even the number two hero got to keep his name. What makes Keigo so different?

“They’ll be rushing the entrance soon,” Kaori says, her arms crossed, her pressed suit dark against the bright sunlight. “You might be able to see it a little better if you move to the other end of the street.” 

Keigo looks up at her, his eyes impassive. Kaori, sensing his gaze, blinks down at him. “Don’t go far. Consider this a small reward for good behavior. I know what I told you in the car can’t have been easy to hear. Don’t make me regret giving you a little more freedom.” 

For a long moment, Keigo is still. 

He wants to dash off. He’s never done that. It would be nice to place a little distance between him and his handler. Plus, he’s outside. It’s a beautiful day, just puffy clouds and the fresh, clean smell of springtime. Well, and the hustle and bustle of the raid that is unfolding across the street. He looks up at Kaori and her violet eyes lift away from him. She shakes her head and a small smile creeps across her lips. 

“Go on, you better hurry. Endeavor’s about to enter the building.”

It’s all the prodding he needs. Like a shot, Keigo is dashing through the crowd. A few people clamor around him, their voices distant, complaints and admonishments ringing over his golden head. He rounds the street corner and his wings lift, testing the air, trying to tug him into the skies. 

Amber eyes flash as he looks for the perfect spot. Ah-ha! There’s a low, tiled roof across the street. If he can get up to the second story he should be able to see into the back of the compound Endeavor is conducting the raid on.

His back aches, muscles tired and straining, but he ignores the sting. His wings lap against the warm air and, just like that, he’s landing on the roof, his sneakers bright against the dark tile. Keigo turns back to the compound. Yes! Perfect! He can see everything. His wings settle along his shoulders, still lifted as he crouches down, the plumage vibrating, listening.

Keigo can hear some of the transmission between the heroes. Their radios are switched up and the static sound makes his nose wrinkle. It feels fuzzy, almost like he’s stepped on a live wire. Apparently, Endeavor is about to move into the exposed courtyard and Keigo sits up straighter, his wings spreading, cupping under the low wind. He’s so focused on catching sight of the number two that he doesn’t hear the warning cry.

No, he only notices the danger when it’s too late.

His feathers bristle, arching, quivering, reacting as a set of talons rips into his delicate plumage. His wings throb. It stings and he feels the anger, the rage that is coursing through the culprit that’s attacking him. Their screams make his ears ache and he rolls away, his hands instinctively covering his head, protecting himself from the sudden onslaught. His golden eyes are narrowed and searching. What the hell-

The pieces fit into place when he sees her. 

It’s a hawk. She’s already taken to the skies, her dark wings wheeling her back to the roof. She lifts upward, the strong winds carrying her high, against the clouds. Then, she’s diving, her feathers bracing along her sides, propelling her at a terrifying speed. 

She’s headed straight for him. 

Keigo, unthinkingly, rolls out of the way, his own wings flaring open and flapping him a good ten feet or so, hopefully placing him out of range. The hawk pulls up, another scream echoing across the sky. She wheels around, her sharp beak and eyes trained on him. Keigo’s foot slips against the uneven surface of the roof and he bites his lip, his ankle twisting painfully. 

“Hey! Keigo! Oh, there you are. Come on! The raid is wrapping up, we need to get back.”

Kaori’s voice shudders up his spine, his oversensitive wings making her sound like a foghorn. Wait. The raid is over? He whirls back to the compound, his eyes scanning, flashing in his agitation. 

No. No, no, no. 

She’s right. Endeavor and his sidekicks are already back at the front of the building, he can’t even see them clearly from here. He’s missed his chance. Damn it. 

It’s not fair, he thinks, a misting of tears clouding his sight. He’d been so close. And now? Now, he’s gotta go back to that stupid building. Now, they’re going to take away his name and force him to do even more training. Who knows when he’ll get out again. It’s just, it’s not freaking fair.

Keigo wipes his arm against his eyes, pulling the moisture across his sleeve. He can’t let Kaori see him cry. He hasn’t cried in years. He’s not going to give them the satisfaction of knowing that he still...wait...what’s that?

Across the rooftop, close to where his original perch was, is a nest. It looks clumsy, like it might fall off into open space at any moment. It’s held together with a spattering of twigs and sticks, but there’s movement. Keigo lowers his arm, his wings lifting again, feeling. There’s one...no...there’s two chicks inside. They feel soft. Their heartbeats are fluttering, like a butterfly’s wing.  

He looks down at Kaori. She’s standing on the street corner, shielding her eyes from the sun as she peers up at him. Keigo lifts his hand so she can see, one finger raised, silently asking her for a little more time. Kaori groans, he can hear her exhale from here, and nods, lowering her gaze, one hand propped on her jutted hip.

“Be quick about it, Keigo.” 

He lets his wings bevel over his shoulders and he hops, carefully, slowly, across the tiles. As he gets closer, two pairs of yellow eyes peer at him, half hidden in the tangle of twigs. He grins and leans up, wanting to look a little…

The hawk, quick as lightning clatters in front of the nest, shielding her chicks from his curious observation. Her wings flare at his proximity, her beak open, sharp. She clicks a warning, her feathers spreading. Keigo mimics her display, his own wings fanning out and the hawk tilts her head, surprised. Her eyes blink, the dark orange shifting from agitated to quizzical. Slowly, her wings lower, draping along her back. Talons shift against the tiles and she chirps at him. It’s a different sound, less challenging. It's almost like a question.

Keigo lifts one of his hands, his fingers balled into a fist and gingerly extends his arm, his shoes sliding closer. She lifts her wings and glides a little nearer, her head still tilted in that exaggerated way. She chirps at him again and lowers her head. If he reaches out a little further he could stroke a finger down her feathers. Just a bit…

“Keigo!” 

The sound of his name startles him and the hawk. She yanks from his touch and launches herself back into the skies. Keigo watches her, fascinated by the ease, the grace that she moves with. As he’s admiring her fluidity, a single feather flutters to his feet. He almost misses it. The wind starts to catch it, pulling it away, but he snatches it up, his fingers careful to not crush the barbs. 

“Keigo, I’m not going to ask again...”

He uses his wings to help him down the side of the building. The verdant plumage is swelling, arching behind him. It feels different. Keigo lowers them against his back, mirroring the way the hawk had draped them, the feathers close to his skin. It helps. They don’t feel like something that he’s untethered from when he holds them like that. He’s still basking in his discovery when Kaori steps toward him, one brow arched.

“You know better than that, Keigo. Didn’t I ask you to not make me regret giving you a little more freedom? Come on, we’re overdue. What’s that in your hand?”

“Nothing,” Keigo replies, tucking the hawk’s feather into his jean pocket. She was so pretty, fierce and quick.

“You put any thought into any of the names on the lists? We were thinking your hero name should be-”

“Hawks,” Keigo replies, his wings stretching behind him, shimmering in the bright sunlight. “I wanna be called Hawks.”

Notes: bb Keigo is too cute, I couldn’t resist.

Tags: @hawksweek2020​, @spicy-skull, 

#hawksweek2020 #hawks week 2020 #bnha hawks #hawks #keigo takami #takami keigo #hopscotch #hopscotch series #bnha #boku no hero academia #hawks-centric #little hawks #bb keigo

[roninhunt0987]

The Birth of Lil Geni The Fox

The Birth of Lil Geni The Fox

By: Roninhunt0987

X3 finally after posting a bunch of pics and etc I now have the time to do the fic of Lil Geni's birth... =3 this is her here btw if ya forgot: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/42450002/

anyway the last one I did with the 7 kiddos of Gen'ichi and Ninjara there was a 6 year time skip... O.o for this one will be a 3 year time skip meaning on that the 7 kiddos will be 9 while Lil Geni will be around 3 years old... O.o so yea... anyways sit back and enjoy the hilarity

Characters(C)belongs to their rightful owners

-Kato/Prower residence-

Ninjara: -in the bathroom doing a pregnancy test as she just woke up while the others are in the living room watching cartoons-

Gen'ichi: -relaxing with Suzuki-

Suzuki: -watching cartoons-

Ran, Rei, Reiko, Rika, Miwa, Nori and Gen'ichi Jr: -watching tom and jerry-

tv: -shows tom getting hurt as the iconic Tom screaming sfx is heard in the background-

Ran, Rei, Reiko, Rika, Miwa, Nori and Gen'ichi Jr: -laughs-

Suzuki: XD hehehe

Gen'ichi: XD heh

Raph: -in the kitchen making homemade pizza- hmmm

Mikey: -reading comics which are the IDW sonic comics which is issue 24 and winces because of reading the bit where whisper is crying- ohhh geeze

Whisper: -looks over Mikey's shoulder and winces a lil because of that pain of a memory she had to go through-

Tangle: -same- Mikey: -looks to them- O.o whats wrong??

Whisper: -breathes in and then out- this... well uhm

Tangle: believe it or not mikey this actually happened.... like years ago before sonic and co moved to Station square city to help with Dad and the others...

Mikey: oh geeze i'm sorry I never knew that

Whisper: mmhmm... about a year ago Tangle and I got adopted on the spot when we saw the comic issue for the very first time....

Jared: -walks on over- thankfully around issue 29 or so things got back to normal... or well least the start of it... sonic went missing and landed somewhere at the Sol islands... he later returned to the main land when blaze used her abilities to send sonic back to help... plus the fact I was told Omega was uhm... .w. busted up as he was only a head at the time

Mikey: you mean like Lopez from red vs blue

Jared: O_o wait what??

Mikey: ya not kidding -gets out issue 25 and shows the page where cream and whisper were having a chat while omega was yammering on and such-

Jared: -looks at it- O_O oh crap I did not notice that

Omega: -looks over and looks at it and facepalms because the fact he did behave like lopez when he was only a head which was detached from his body at the time-

Jared: -looks to him- O_o ya did notice and realized that did ya Omega: affirmative I was indeed behaving like that SP Vector: .w. well least ya didn't speak spanish like Lopez Omega: Derogatory insult: SHUT THE F**K UP YA STUPID CROCK OF S**T!!!

Jared: O_o;;;;;; uhhh... rouge

Rouge: -from the kitchen- Ya?? Jared: O_o since when Omega can swear

Rouge: -from the kitchen- uhhh I dunno couple weeks ago when he was looking at random youtube videos of the swear words and such as well as other stuff

Jared: O_o got it just checking -walks off- geeze louise now Omega can swear like a sailor now gawd

Mikey: O_o oooookay

Donnie: -walks in- O_o hey what happened I could of sworn I heard E-123 omega started swearing

Leo: -walks in from the kitchen- thats because he did cuz SP Vector said something stupid insulting to Omega

Donnie: O_o owch

Ninjara: -comes out of the restroom with the pregnancy test being positive and is behind Gen'ichi and shows him that she is pregnant again- ^///^ Gen'ichi: -notices- ^^ hehehe

Suzuki: hu??

Ninjara: X3 kids just so ya know ya mama is pregnant ya may expect a lil sibling to look after which makes ya as big siblings now

Ran, Rei, Reiko, Rika, Miwa, Nori and Gen'ichi Jr: X3 YAY!!! Suzuki: XP and another kiddo for me to spoil

Gen'ichi: ^^ yup

SP Vector: O_o oh no

-first 3 months-

Ninjara: -has music playing and has the earphones on her tummy so her child can hear it-

SP Vector: -about to say something stupid until he gets a Kunai to his head- oh s**t -drops dead- X_x

Ninjara: -relaxing-

-second 3 months-

Ninjara: -eating chicken Terraki with Peanut butter on it-

SP Vector: how are ya eating all that

Ninjara: -glares- rrrrrrrr

SP Vector: O_o geeze screw you too lady

Suzuki: -doing that same Alastor moment as she is smirking like him and has a chainsaw as she revs it-

SP Vector: oh s-

Censored screen: -CENSORED: DEAR GOD NOT AGAIN!!-

SP Vector: -screaming from behind the censored screaming in bloody murder as he is getting sawed up with a chainsaw- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

-final 3 months: the birth-

-Megaville City Hospital-

Ninjara: -squeezing Gen'ichi's hand-

Gen'ichi: .w. this is fine -from his mind: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!-

-at the waiting room-

everyone: -waiting and etc-

nurse: -wheeling Ninjara in with a lil girl 3-tailed fox girl-

Gen'ichi: -smiles-

Ninjara: -smiles-

Ran, Rei, Reiko, Rika, Miwa, Nori and Gen'ichi Jr: -gathers round looking to their lil sister for the first time- ohhhhh

Suzuki: X3 hehe

Nori: X3 whats her name mommy

Ninjara: X3 this is Geni

Donnie: O.O oh wow an albino... O.o pure white 3-tailed fox girl

Lil Geni: -opens her eyes for the first time to see she has red and blue eyes and the look of saying hu- ?

Suzuki: -smiles as she holds her for the first time- ^^ hehe hey there i'm ya aunt Suzuki

Lil Geni: mew -nuzzles-

Gen'ichi: X3 awwww

Lil Geni: -looks to Gen'ichi- X3 mew mew mew mew

Gen'ichi: -chuckles and gets her from Suzuki carefully- ^^ hehe

Lil Geni: -nuzzles on her daddy for the first time- mew

Raph: -chuckles- hehe

Lil Geni: -random sticks her tongue out at Raph- Blep

Raph: O_o uhhhhhhh

Mikey: -busts out laughing at Raph- XD hehehehehehe

Raph: >< WHY YOU- COME HERE!!! -chases Mikey- Mikey: OH GEEZE RUNNING TIME!!! -runs-

Raph: MIKEY!!! -chases him-

Frenchie: 3 years l-

Karl The Fox-bat: NOPE!!! -kicks Frenchie out of the way and clears throat-

Frenchie: -offscreen groaning in pain-

Karl The Fox Bat: :3 3 years later

Ran, Rei, Reiko, Rika, Miwa, Nori and Gen'ichi Jr: -all 7 of them are now 9 years old as its fathers day which also happens to be Lil Geni's third birthday-

Lil Geni: X3 hehe -eating her cake with her dad-

Suzuki: -smiles as she has something for Geni-

Lil Geni: -notices the old plush- O.o whats that Aunt Suzuki

Suzuki: ^^ well... this was an old plush I have when I was about your age... =3 her name is Scrub... X3 I am passing her to ya now kiddo its all yours take care of her always... X3 come to me if ya want me to maintain her oki

Lil Geni: X3 oki thank you -hugs Scrub the plush- ^^

Raph: -about ready to give her b-day punches which he is gonna do carefully and then gets a cake splatter on his face from SP Vector- ._.;;;;

SP Vector: -laughs like Nelson- HA HA!!! Raph: -glares as he gets the cake off his face- YOU ARE SO DEAD CROCFACE!!! COME HERE!!!

SP Vector: OH CRAP AHHHHHH!!!!!

Karl The Fox-bat: :3 2 hours of asswhooping later

SP Vector: -in a full body cast- oooooggghhh

Leo: .w. never splat cake in raph's face

SP Vector: -muffles- oh bite me

Leo: ._. -does a karate chop on SP Vector- WHAP!!!

SP Vector: -his body cast breaks in two and has the look of utter pain on his face and insert Mamaf**ker SFX: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edry0kuy8bo– MAMAF**KER!! Stupid Mario: -offscreen and yells it also: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edry0kuy8bo - MAMAF**KER THATS MY A LINE B***H!!! SP Vector: >< WHATEVER!!!

Scene: -does a small fart noise of blacking out-

TFS Nappa: .w. the end

-XD END XD-

-RH0987 PRODUCTIONS 2021-

@otakuneko-lotus

[unknowngirl199424-blog]

Pt. 3

Now being the pretty innocent girl i was. I smoked weed very occasionally. Drank every now and then. But that was it really. I smoked cigs. Stupid choice i made at an even more stupid young age. I was 13 when i tried it. 15 when i started smoking every day. (My parents knew, they didn't care) my younger sister had been smoking for years. She partied a lot. Drank a lot. Smoked a lot. Took a lot of pills. Would steal my moms pain pills that she needed from the back surgeries. Mom would run out at the end of the month and would bawl... Literally wail in pain. And it never stopped my sister. I caught her several times. Id get pissed. Ask her wtf she was doing, or why... But she never stopped. I never told... I was drowning in depression. It started when i was 13. After my grandma passed. I changed... She was my world.

My parents partied ALOT!

Used LOTS of drugs...

Ranging from just weed, to coke, to meth...

The first half of my life... From birth till... 14? I think was when they quit all the hard shit for good. They were just... Mom and dad. I mean i loved them, i respected them, but... I didn't have anything to compare it to. It was normal for me to walk in and see light bulbs just randomly on the coffee table.

It was normal for me to wake my sis up in the morning, helping her get dressed, teeth brushed, food in her belly and out the door waiting on the bus. Every day. We lived in the country about 20 miles from town where our friends were. So all we had was each other. In the summer as soon as the sun started to show, 7:00ish. My parents would rush into our room. One would wake up me while the other would wake my sister. Rush us up and to get dressed and outside. We'd be outside alllllllllll day long in the summer in Oklahoma heat. They'd have friends over and lock the doors. We played. Sometimes the friends would bring their kids and we'd run around and play all day. I was a tom boy. I had scarred bloody knees almost daily from wrecking my bike. Would just walk around the property we lived on. Played with our dogs. Pissed off snakes that liked to live in the barn or chicken coop. I ran a lot. BUT IT WAS NORMAL TO ME. They started to quit when i was 12. Then grandma passed. They started again. Didn't stop for good until mom was hurt and dad was fired for pissing dirty for weed, coke, and meth. He was rehired 6 months later. But shit was rough at the time. So after losing my grandma. I went into myself. She loved me, took care of me. Gave me what i wanted and needed. I basically broke. I was never really an over joyous kid. I was raped and molested by my cousin. And so i always carried pain. But grandma was who made me happy. She passed. And from that point in my life from 13 to 18. I cut a lot. I was emotionless most days. But some days I'd break and cry for hours. For the longest time i thought i was depressed because of grandma. But i realized... Depression is a disease. And once you get a good dose of it, it stays. It twists and folds and wiggles its way into every fibre of your being and clings. And bad things that go on add to it and over time, you are eye level deep terrified you're gonna go under soon and no one will notice. Well over the years shit was added. Once I realised i could.... Not feel the pain and sadness... I latched on. Over time the occasional smoking weed went to every day several times a day. Drinking came up for awhile but i hated feeling like shit the next day so i quit. My ex gave me a pain pill one day.

I realised that not only could i get away from the pain and depression, i could feel fucking amazing while doing so. So it started out ya know. Once a week. Just one. To 2 a week to 4 a week to at least 1 every day. When we went up north. Pills were every where. Drugs in general. And i wanted to experience things. We had fun. Went lots of places. Did lots of things. Parties, festivals, fairs, amusement parks, museums, art museums, craft fairs, art stores, book stores, malls, movie theaters.. Just... it was great. I met her friends. They were like her. We partied a lot. I was soley living in the moment for once instead of striving to please everyone else. It was a stupid choice. But it was my choice. Over the years. The fun with it stopped... it became a nessecity. She got shitty and mean sober and i was just as miserable. I wanted happiness not that. Her dad would give us pain pills every day and muscle relaxers. If we did literally anything for him he'd pay us in pills. My ex was also prescribed pain pills too! We'd go through them so quick and then he'd give them to us so we didn't go through withdrawal. By year 3 (2015) I'm 21. I'm working a few months here a few months there. Living the same daily cycle. My day didn't start until pills were thrown down my throat. The habit got bad. I was to a point i was taking fucking handfulls of pills. Daily. And didn't feel ok until then. The few days i didn't have them, i literally slept all day and all night. I was burying my issues with a dark coping mechanism.

I started falling out of love. I left her once last year and we got back together the next day. I told her she couldn't keep stopping me from leaving because it was making me hate her. She wouldnt let go. We stayed together for 4 months. I broke up with her and moved back to oklahoma the beginning of this year. But she was my comfort. Pills were my comfort. After being here for 4 months i let her come back. It was bad. I got back into pills again and one day i told her i didn't want to be with her anyone. She was here for a month at that point. But she wasn't trying to work. She wouldn't do anything. But look for pills. I told her i was done. She gave me some pills. I didn't know what they were but she told me they were for anxiety. And i was really upset. So i took them. We kept arguing. She kept giving me more. My parents stopped by to drop something off, i guess i was wayyyyy out of it. They leave. The fight blows up. I tell her i want her gone. She kept refusing. Idk what happened. It was like a light switch went off. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a steak knife and sliced my wrist up for the first time ever... I only cut my stomach and thighs as a teen. She came around the corner and saw what i was doing and broke a glass vase i had. She ran over and grabbed the blade. Started yanking it from me. I guess we fought over it pretty hard cuz all i remember was it flying across the room and when i got back 6 days later it was soooo bent up.

She kept going and going and i grabbed a piece of glass and cut, she got it away and i just collapsed to the floor. She tried hugging me. I screamed at her for being toxic for me. To not touch me. To just call my mom. My mom shows up. Its like 11:30 at night at this point and she freaks out. My ex starts shit with her. They argue. I scream at them that they needed to stop and mom took me to the er. I guess by that point i was in and out of consciousness. One thing i do remember was seeing an old teacher that i had from yearrrrs ago when i went to a vocational school to become a certified nurse aid. I really looked up to her at 17. Admired her. She was a Dr there in the er. It was humialting. I cried. I guess i pissed in a cup for em or something. I don't remember. But they told my mom (which i didn't find out till almost a week later) that i was overdosing. That all of what i took hadn't caught up and that's why i was talking really crazy and blacking out. I don't remember. But the next morning i wake up. There was a cop sitting next to my bed. 20 mins later im being handcuffed and put in a cruiser and drove over a hr to a phych place. Guess the dr asked me the night before what would happen if i went home and i said i didn't know. So they legally put me there for 5 days so i couldn't be any harm to myself.

5 good things about being put there.

1. I had no access to pills, alcohol, even cigarettes. So i was very very clear headed. The first time in almost 6 years. Had time to think about where tf my life has landed me.

2. I realized how fucking truly bad our relationship was. And came to the conclusion that if we stayed together. One, if not both of us was gonna end up in a casket. Whether it be from pills or not. It was gonna happen.

3. I realized that i deserved wayyyy better. Relationship wise. Life wise. I deserved someone who could push me in the healthy direction. Make positive choices. I felt like instead of maturing, i was still trapped in an 18 yr olds mentality.

4. I ended it. And that time i meant it. There's nothing she could offer me. That would make me go back. Not a million dollars, not a billion, not even all the stars in the sky. I have nothing for her.

5. I met someone who treats me amazing now. Who pushes me. Keeps me away from the shit. I've been pain pill free for 5 months and its staying that way.

And for once... I'm starting to actually feel happy. Genuinely. I was prescribed anti depressants, anti anxiety, and a sleep disorder med. I stopped taking the anti depressants because they made it worse. But im to the point where the good days finally out weigh the bad. And when the bad come, i roll with it.

For the new year. I have a few goals.

1. Continue all the hard work ive put into myself. Keep eating healthy. Keep exercising. Keep pushing myself forward. No more settling for less what what i truly want.

2. Stay tf away from pain pills. 👍 keep fighting that demon in me who whispers how good I would feel or how one wouldn't hurt...

3. Quit smoking cigs. They're killing me. My lungs hurt all the time.

4. Continue bettering my life. I got away from her for 4 months and i had my own home, vehicle, and a high paying easy job. Brought her back for a month, had a suicidal moment. But she's gone and im in a great relationship. And I'm fucking HAPPY!

5. Quit being so fucking hard on myself. I hate the way i look, i hate my body. But they can be changed. Stress over things that need it but relax more. I'm 24. I still have time.

I STILL HAVE FUCKIN TIME

#mine #personal #journal #diary #dear diary #my diary #my words #my escape #my post #getting better #one step at a time

[incandescent-creativity]

OC Interview Tag

Tagged by @knightedwriter !! hi babe! I’m gonna do Michael cuz I’m gonna be writing him in November and like.. i do not remember how to write him

1. How are you doing today? 

I’m doing well enough, thank you.

2. You ready to answer some sort of questions? 

That is the point of being here, is it not. (spoiler: Agau told him this was necessary)

3. How do you feel about your last name? 

*a pause as he realizes he uh... doesn’t quite have one* 

I am honored to share the last name of the most brilliant scientist of our age.

4. Is there anything you’d like to thank your author for?

I suppose there is my mother. Having her in my life is perhaps the one good thing in a world of pain and competition.

5. You can only eat three foods for the rest of your life. What are they?

I suppose something I could make a meal of. A meat, perhaps chicken. That’s something that can be prepared in many different ways. Potatoes. And apples.

6. Have you ever done or said anything that surprised your author?

Well, the recent revelation that I might enjoy painting, as something non-destructive I can do with my power... She didn’t see that coming. Kati was always the artist.

Who’s Kati? 

...an old friend.

7. You have limitless funds, what kind of party are you going to throw? 

Must the funds be used for a party? I suppose I could rent out a space, perhaps a government building or the Louvre. Invite all the dignitaries and political leaders, company CEOs. Those of influence. Have a dinner party, you know? 

8. Tell us a quick story about something that’s happened to you that not even your author knows about... yet

I discovered a lost kitten around the labs once, and hid it for a total of three days before another employee could take it home.

9. Do you have a favorite hero? 

Dr. Agau, of course.

10. What do you plan to do after this? 

Go back to training, I suppose. Beth and the others are still out there, after all.

#tagged in #character: michael #idk what 8's answer is lol #i blanked out for the longest time and then #suddenly got an image of him with a kitten and knew i had to

[paradoxidolatry]

Brotherly Love

@birdhole , @beatconductor a lil bit

TG: hey TG: sup

TT: Hey. TT: Not much.  Lunch break at work. TT: Sup?

TG: oh thats sweet TG: sucks theres no free pizza in it when you work as a cop huh TG: i guess its overall kind of a step up from the pizza gig tho

TT: Right? Free donuts though. TT: But nah, yeah, not so bad. TT: Didn't get a chance to tell you about it but I figure Dave or whoever's already spilled those beans. TT: Kinda weird, right?

TG: yeah dave told me TG: donuts just like a real cop huh TG: still cant quite wrap my head around this cop thing tbh TG: i can see you working as a LOT of things but a cop? thats wild

TT: Yeah. TT: I mean, I figured.  Got all that military experience, right? TT: But I didn't want to go back to the military. TT: Plus, working as a cop is an equal mix of 'keeps me active' and 'allows me to work around certain roadblocks in regards to the acquisitions business', so it was a good compromise. TT: Better than fast food and skin flicks again, at any rate.

TG: i mean i guess that makes logical sense n all TG: still fucking wild as shit to me TG: guess you can still wear a uniform even its obviously not as sweet as the fast food ones

TT: Yeah, I really miss that old greasy apron. TT: But what can you do?

TG: the grease just made your eyes pop in that special way ykno TG: chicks love it

TT: They fuckin do, don't they? TT: But somethin tells me you didn't message me to talk about the chicks missing my pizza funk.

TG: you sure about that? its a pretty great topic you could write a book on it become rich quick with your pick up tips

TT: Hey, I'm already on chapter 7: the Sausage Party. TT: But really though. TT: What's up, boss?

TG: nothing TG: i was just TG: thinking about you is all

> Heart, squeeze. TT: That right? TT: Cool, cool. TT: Was thinking about you earlier too, actually.

TG: oh? any reason or

[Dave txt @ bro] im watching u [Dave txt @ bro] > that chicken image

TT: Just, y'know. TT: Was outside on a smoke break and I saw a couple of pigeons hanging out, eating some sandwich or some shit on the sidewalk and like. TT: Got me thinking about you, and like. TT: I spent the past 13 years thing you're dead or some shit, and now you're alive and it's. TT: Just fuckin buck wild. TT: Pardon me for sound fucking sappy but it's kind of like a dream come true.

[TT > Dave: I'm behaving, dad.]

TG: ...am i a pigeon now? tho i do admit i would eat that floor sandwich(edited) TG: yeah its...its fucking wild huh? TG: kinda thought id never see you again even after TG:  i got away and shit TG: idk why not like you up and died but? after looking for you and you werent there i dunno i guess TG: i thought you just TG: werent going to come back TG: ...you didnt even see my wings yet you dont get to relate me to birds just yet dude

TT: I mean, I saw them in a picture. TT: One of you and Dave and a bunch of trolls and some old dude in front of a candy cane dildo? TT: But also you post about birds and shit all the time, so I figured that was sort of your Thing now. TT: And ... well.  I dunno. TT: Almost didn't. TT: I was just gonna stay on Earth, maybe pop in to visit every so often. TT: But then all that shit happened and Dave wasn't answering my messages, so I thought he was dead too, and...well. TT: I guess I'm, uh... grateful to the apocalypse for.  I guess bringing you back to me? TT: Well, no. TT: But like, at least letting me know you're alive.

TG: oh...yeah thats TG: thats my sisters actually and uh..shit what even is grig? grandpa i guess TG: already know mr d after all TG: i mean... im not sure how i feel yet TG: i guess im sorta glad because TG: i mean it has been my embarrassing dream to play family with you again for a while TG: i want to be a family again TG: a lot TG: its just TG: hard

TT: Sisters, huh?  Well damn, you got the whole family package with these folks, huh? TT: Nice.  How long you been with them? TT: Yeah, I figured. TT: I didn't, and don't, make it easy. I know. TT: A lot easier when you were a baby, even if our folks were shit, just cuz, y'know. TT: Everything hadn'tt happened yet. TT: Hadn't started to completely fuckin lose my mind and treat you like dogshit. TT: But I mean.  I dunno. TT: I'm not gonna force you or nothin. TT: But if you ever wanted to come backto the apartment and chill for a day, see how you feel about it? TT: That'd be uh. TT: That'd be really nice.

TG: 3 years TG: as long as ive been TG: away from scratch... TG: i..yeah i guess maybe TG: can you even handle seeing me get gay with dave tho

TT: God.  You were with Scratch that whole fuckin time? TT: Fuckin sonnuvabitch refused to tell me what he did with you. TT: Anyway. TT: Handling y'all and your homogay is a small price to pay at the end of the day. TT: Even if it's still. TT: Kinda really weird from my perspective. TT: But I respect y'all and he takes good care of you, so I can't complain too much, right?

TG: ...yeah like ten years TG: kinda fucked up huh TG: ill..ill think about it TG: okay so im gonna be real with you here for a sec okay TG: i TG: messaged you because i was talking to dave and i realized i missed you and TG: that i TG: kindawantahugiguess

TT: ...Yeah? TT: I can do a hug, yeah. TT: Where are you?  I can meet you, if you wanna.

TG: ...workin TG: at [coords] TG: dont arrest me mr officer these drugs are prescription

TT: I'll leave the cuffs in the car. TT: What happens off-duty stays off-duty, though, so. TT: See you in five.

TG: kay > Try not to freak out. Freak out anyways.

> Pull up by the curb a short walk away and park. > Look, you even pay for the parking meter and everything. > Step out of the car in your full uniform and approach Sock, one hand in  your pocket, the other raised in a wave hello.

> Oh god, he really fucking is a god damn cop. That's so damn weird. God. > Not as weird as randomly meeting up with him for a hug though. Damn it that was the dumbest idea. > You wave back, trying hard to look cool and not like you are dying on the inside and failing miserably.

> You stride up alongside him and... ...well, now what, actually. > Neither of you are very good at this kind of planning, are you. > Damnit, Striders. "Hey." > Now just to... > ... > Open your arms up? > Yeah.  That's how hugs happen.

> Oh god, he's going right for it.Oh god. Not even small talk or anything really bro? > Maybe that's better anyways because god know you don't know what to say. "Hey." > You take a deep breath and you...Go for the fucking hug. Squeeze that big bro tight.

> Aww shit here it comes and here he is.  All up and hugging you. > Actually, that's uh. > That's real nice. > You wrap your arms around him and pull him in for a good, tight hug. > It's probably not the most comfortable thing, what with your radio strapped onto your chest and name plates aand shit, but. > At least for you?  This is a fucking good hug. > (Don't you dare tear up in public.)

> You don't really care about the cofort level of this, it's something you've been craving for 13 years now, a little radio isn't going to stop you from enjoying it. > It's nice. It's familiar, like all the good parts of Bro you've been missing wrapped up for you in one big huggable form. Easy to forget all the shit for a moment. > But the moment does end and when you pull away you have to wipe at you eyes like an idiot. "Uh...Th-thanks."

> Aww, shit goddamn.  He's teaaring up too under those glasses. > You swipe one knuckle under your shades, and you take a steaadying breath. "Hey, yeah, no problem." > Breathe easy, Strider.  You glance up for a moment as you see a fatass snowflake come drifting down, then you look to Sock again. "Hey, you wanna maybe grab some lunch with me?  Haven't eaten yet and it's still my break, so."

> Well at least you are both sappy motherfuckers now. > Oh. You didn't expect that. You think about what Dave told you earlier "Stay in control" and promptly decide to fuck that advice because shit. You are already here. You already went for it like an idiot. "Yeah sure. Gonna have Donuts like a proper cop?" > You make such a face at the snow. Ugh, you didn't really prepare for that kinda weather, fuck.

> You snort a laugh and give your flat stomach a pat. "Gotta work on that signature cop gut, don't I? C'mon." > You gesture behind you with a jerk of your thumb. "Hop in up front.  You can pick the place."

"Hell yeah you do. You look like a fake ass striper cop dude." > You get into the car and immediately get the seatbelt. Doesn't feel safe otherwise. You don't really like cars still but you can't pin point why. It's just a weird personality quirk yeah? But you are used to being in one at this point of your life. > Just drive carefully. Please.

> You hop in and buckle up too, both pleased and a litttle saddened that you didn't even need to remind Sock to put on his seatbelt. > Poor kid. > Luckily, you are an impeccably safe driver, and the drive to Wherever is smooth and uneventful.

> Old habits die hard. > You feel kind of awkward in the car with him, it's too silent for our tastes. > You get out of the car at whatever this amazing food place he's taking you is. Fingers crossed for fast food- "Y'know kinda funny. Always figured my first frive in a cop car would be because I'm getting arrested."

> You snort a laugh.  It's Sock's old favorite pizza place. > God you hope he still likes this shit. > Also this wasn't a Pizza Pimp before, was it?  It was Gino's-- > Wait. > Ugh, well, maybe Dave's not at work. "If you're planning on getting arrested, you're doing this pushing thing wrong, kid."(edited)

> Oh the Pizza Pimp. Fucking score. Maybe Dave is there, that would be rad. "I didn't say I was, I said I didn't think I'd ride a cop car otherwise. Your hearing getting bad?" > You immediately freeze after saying that. Oh man, actually sassing Bro though? Please don't hit me.

> Dave is unfortunately not there, but he sure would love to.

> You catch that freeze, and you... > You snort a little, before pointing to your ears. "Too many concerts and phat-ass beats.  Knew I shouldn't have gotten all up and personal with those speakers.  Who knew the grown-ups were right about that?" > You smile, and it's a little awkward cuz you sure as hell have never been the smiling type, before you hold open the door for him. "C'mon, before we freeze our asses off."

> Oh. Okay. It's cool. It's chill. In a quite literal sense even so you get your silly ass inside. > A smile though? You haven't seen your brother smile in...far longer than you haven't seen him for sure. > That little scare knocked the speech right out of you though so you just awkwardly sit down at the next best table, suddenly really not sure how good of an idea this was.

> You take a seat opposite him, and when the server approaches, you order yourself a water instead of a soda. > Who are you, even. > You glance over the menu, humming softly.  Some of these item names... fitting for a place called Pizza Pimp. "You wanna split one, or do individuals, or?"

> Who is he indeed. You order a black coffee instead of apple juice though, so maybe the traditional Strider beverages are just staying outside today. "Uhhh..Not super hungry honestly I don't mind sharing one." > You haven't been able to eat a whole pizza at once in a while but you don't say that.

"Alright.  We'll split a medium and you can take the rest home if you want." > You let him pick the toppings too.  This really is a strange Strider day.

> The strangest. Do they have nuggets as topping because you want that.

> They might have like, baked chicken, which is kinda like nuggets and also? Is Carro-approved.

> Do you think the pizza pimp doesn't have a nugget topping what kinda fool do you take Dave for.

> A big one. >:3

> LISTEN Nuggets have been added like at least two months ago. Cock Special.

> Goddamnit, Dave.

> Sock loves Dave and the Cock Special Pizza. Prepare ya taste buds Bro.(edited)

"One Cock Special with extra cock please" > Yes, this is exactly how you order.

> Oh your face. > You're so fucking proud.  Dave sure is your little brother, and so too is Sock. > Bless these fucking kids.

"Hope you like it, it's my fav." > Both the pizza and you know.

> Yeah.  Yeah, you know. "Sure I will." > Snort a laugh. "This sure isn't Gino's anymore, huh.  You remember that place?"

"Oh yeah. Man..That's been a while. Clover gifted the place to Dave what? 2 years ago?" > Back when you were on a no homo basis. Memories.

> [Clover: nya face]

"Used to be your favorite, but maybe that's because it was free when I worked here. ...Clover?"

"I'm always a slut for free food but I still digged their shit later. Oh uh..Yeah. Little green guy? 4 of the Felt?" > Should..You now have mentioned that?

> [Dave] Oh no.

> There's this shift in your face.  It's not a frown, but a certain tightening of your lips as you're hit with the full brunt of what Sock just said. "...Dave's...doing business with the Felt?"

> WHOOPSIES >Oh. Oh, oh, oh shit. You fucked up. You didn't really think about that when you said it. At all. Shit. Fuck. Damn. "Hahaha whaaaat? Noooo. Of course not! He'd never uh...Clover is just y'know his uh... Sugar daddy yeah. Cash money man, can't say no to that even from a greenie right?" > Well it's not entirely a lie. You are sweating though.

> You paw at your face and you sit back in your seat, eyebrows knit together tightly. > Looks like you're going to have to have a little talk with Dave when you get home. "...No, guess not.  Desperate times and all that, right?"

"Yeah exactly! Haha..." > God this is uncomfortable. You are going to warn Dave but you already feel like shit. Fuck. "Don't...Don't hurt him okay?" > There's fear in your eyes now. Not for you but for your boyfriend, which is so much worse in your eyes.

> That snaps you Right out of your bad thought spiral and you quickly wave your hand. "Hey, no, no.  Not gonna hurt him.  It's chill." > There's that smile again, even if it's uneasy and a bit green around the gills.  Your brother and the Felt... "Really.  Just surprised he hadn't mentioned it before now."

> [Dave] GUESS WHY.

" 'kay..." > He probably hadn't mentioned it for a reason. You couldn't have known Dave wasn't supposed to do business with the Felt but you still feel like shit. It makes sense in hindsight and considering your history of course but...You just plain didn't know. > The Pizza arrives but you suddenly don't feel very hungry at all, sipping on you coffee awkwardly instead.

> You're, similarly, not hungry, but you've got to salvage this.  Not telling when or if Sock will agree to see you again after this. "Sorry, I just... Y'know, getting offered a gift by those guys.  If they had snatched Dave too..." > You shake your head, and sigh it off.  Out with the bad. "But they didn't, and that's that.  So." > You take up a slice of the pizza and you point is casually at Sock, an eyebrow quirked. "What're you out there peddling?"

> Oh. You'd really rather not follow that line of thought, yeah.  Smooth topic change. "Dude, don't think I should be discussing that with a cop in a pizzeria. Mr D would murder me man."

"Hey." > You make a show of taking off your badge and laying it upside down on the table. "Off-duty, not a cop.  So is it the good shit, or is it like, oregano in a dimebag being passed off as weed."

"We're still in public man." > And you don't want to piss off your Dad on top of the shit you just pulled.

"Yeah, yeah.  Weren't you in public anyway?" > You chuckle a little and you point toward the kitchen area. "Your big bro used to sell shitty dimebags out of there, way back.  Dealt to all the line cooks."

" Course you did." > You roll your eyes behind your shades. "What you want an inventory list? Okay I'll just tell you my favorite product aight? Kinder Überraschungseier......The surprise is Cocaine." > Huh, sure did slip into your mother tongue there. Welp..

> Okay.  You actually laugh then. "You're selling Kinder Überraschungseier full of Cocaine.  Shut the fuck up, seriously?" > You're nodding approvingly now. "That's a fucking great idea.  Where the fuck'd you get the chocolates, though? Make them yourself?"

> That makes you feel..really proud? Huh. You can't stop the big dorky grin from spreading on your face. "Best idea I ever had, honestly. I'm importing them from earth, duh. Along with a bunch of other banned sweets and shit. Who the fuck thought peeps are illegal anyways?"

> You balk at that and you laugh again. "Peeps are illegal here-- wait, shit, right." > Smack your forehead. "That's my job to know that now.  Wow, fuckin fire me now."

"Maybe I should show you my stock, just as a reminder. A fucking lot of dumb shit is. Fucking Lattes were banned man. Until the King unbanned them just for Jude which is honestly so fucking stupid. Way to play favorite, just like royalty should am I right? Not that I'm complaining, love me a big fat Latte." > Man it's...Nice to be able to make that kind of shit tier level german dick joke and to know you're gonna be understood just fine.

> You snort your water and you pull a face,but you're clearly goofing around a loving it. "Fucking nasty, dude.  I don't need to hear about your love of big hot fuckin Lattes."

"Aren't you glad the prospitian monarchy digs a steaming hot Latte too? What a life that would be otherwise." > You snort yourself.

"Jesus christ.  Fuckin whities, dude." > You stuff some pizza in your mouth and you talk withyour mouth full like the fat nasty trash you are. "Can you believe I have to work with them?  Like what the fuck."

"The Queen gives me the creeps with her I love everyone bull. And the King seems like a huge fucking idiot so...Congrats man. Jackpot."

"Not had the chance to meet either, but this is the closest I've gotten to infiltrating the corrupt government yet.  Maybe if I keep my shit up, I can finally overthrow them from the inside." > You are entirely dead seriouus.

"What's the masterplan? Shoot them in public?" > You aren't but you also don't mind the topic. Not a fan of these guys.

"Nah, nah, nothing like that.  Too messy.  Besides." > You gesture at the scar that runs oveer your eyes. "Never been a fan of guns."

"I know." > Hell maybe you should be grateful he ain't. Swords fucked you over bad enough. "Seems like a popular approach is all. Like historically or whatever. But I guess you gotta go for something less stale huh?"

"Of course.  Flashy's the only way to be when you're taking out a corrupt system of government."

"Looking forwards to the show Bro." > Except you hope he's fucking joking.

> You totally fucking aren't. > You toss him a wink, which of course he can't see all that well behind your shades. "Hope it's a good one.  You gonna eat any pizza, lil bro?"

"Oh, right." > You finally grab a piece too. "How's the Cock Special?"

> Stuff the rest of your piece into your mouth and brush the crumbs off of your fingers. "It's not big hot Latte, but it's nice and tasty all up in my mouth, so it'll do."

"I mean we can grab a Latte next time-" > Did you just say next time. Did you just imply you want to meet up like this again? Shit. > Stuff your mouth with Pizza real quick.

> Oh. > Oh... That makes yourr heart do the smiley emote. > You grin a liittle bit about that and you say, voice kinda soft, "Yeah... alright.  I'd like that."

"Me too...I think." > If you don't hurt my boyfriend tonight that is, is what you think.

> Don't you worry, Sock.  Not gonna hurt your boyfriend tonight. > You're not gonna be home, so Dave gets to go unhurt for another night.

> Or any other night Bro.(edited) > Or day, or ever:

> Well, at least you'll try to keep your cool when you talk to Dave about it later.

> That's a good start.

> Fuck yeah.  Before you all finish up here, you nod back to the streets now lightly coat with snow. "You going back to your corner, right?  You need a jacket?"

"I mean, I'll live..." > But it's pretty obvious that you don't have any especially warm clothes on you, you know like an idiot.

"Yeah, and you'll get sick, doofus." > You shrug off your jacket--it's a plain black windbreaker, while you wait for your city issue polcie jacket to come in--and you ball it up, handing it over to him. "Here."

> You open your mouth to respond but the Jacket is already in your hands. Oh. That's..Oh. > Is that what it's like to have a caring older brother? "Thanks..." > The Jacket is far too big for you and smells like Bro. It's a weird feeling to put it on. Like a hug you can wear. > Your heart is doing several emotions.

"Hey, no sweat. No good to go out there to work if you're just gonna freeze to death, yeah?" > You have the server bring you all a box for the leftovers, and you give those to him, too. > You stand from the stand and stretch. "Alright, my lunch is about over.  You ready to go?

"Uh, yeah." > You are still trying to sort your feelings over all of this. It's weird. It's nice. > It's what you wanted all along. > Except for the part where you are scared about Dave. > You get up too feeling like a huge fool.

> You, very very carefully, put your hand on his back and lead him out back into the cold. > Look to him, then to your car. "Back to tthe same corner? Or you got anywhere else you need to be?"

> You tense up just a little at the touch but let it happen anyways. "Y-yeah same place." > You just get into the car quickly to cut off the awkward moment. Not without putting on your seatbelt of course.

> Always seatbelt first, kid! > You buckle in and drive him back to the street corner you found him on, putting the car into park but not getting out. "Alright.  Don't get into any trouble, alright?  Oh, and patrol comes past here in about 30 minutes, so be cool when they pass, yeah?"

"Oh uh..Okay. See you, I guess." > You wave an awkward goodbye, overwhelmed by a lot of conflicting emotions.

> You're about to drive off, but then you open the door and, hanging halfway out, you call to him, "Hey! Love you, Sock."

> That just leaves you starring for a moment. Did he just-? Does he? What. Can not compute. "L-Love you too Bro..." > You are not sure if he heard that with the way you mumbled that. You are not sure if you want him to or not. > It's only getting weirder. > But it also warms your birdy little heart.

> You heard it--you've actually got pretty good hearing still, despite all tthatt music and shit. > You smile and wave again before ducking back into your car and driving off.

> The patrol driving by half an hour later doesn't find a drug dealer, just a crying kid in some back alley. > This absolutely kills the bird.

#borgatabent #ic #story post #rp thread #birdhole #beatconductor #ft mentions of: #fouramour #starlight-iridescence #sunlight-magnificence

[angelblumes]

food ment. Helllooooooo ugh would you like me to beat her up perhaps end up like her namesake, og mischa?(jk im not a (cannibal)) time to bust out the therapy voice tho , you will find your people and they will love you. Ok. ok wtf is happening? are we like the same person or something? wellbutrin buddies ❤ my room needs to be clean and moved the whole sha bang but I cant😔 life needs to be lived and such. I hope you arrived safely and happily and that everything is slightly better for you than it was last message and that you didn't get too carsick. my power went out today for like 3 seconds everything turned off everything , it usually takes alot for that to happen for my house just because its old and other reasons that I dont actually know. I've had a jam out session yesterday, it was so relaxing 😌 🙌 danced my little heart out to them guys I told you about. There's something abt the murders in hannibal that just does it for me... the artistry of it all. I love it when we talk outside of the 5 daily things too!!! hey, did you get that 'you're so mature for your age' as a kid or 'you've got an old soul' ? whats ur thoughts on that? I personally cant really imagine saying that to a kid maybe its a generational thing? ok 🙄😁 I like commentary ive been watching reactions? on youtube its a guilty pleasure, also I've been getting into some reality tv. Wife swap is crazy I love it alot and then the dating ones because ofc. whats one of the 1st reality show you remember watching and not hating? Honey Boo Boo and I Am Jaz (I think?) were my top two choices of reality. maybe a rewatch is in order for me. ok daily things um a guitar got brought into my house today i... its very.. it made me weirdly happy I love music and its instruments. thank goodness tbh my med were just a little later than usual, the pharmacy gave me emergency 3 days for they can figure out whats up because this is the second time we are having the same problem 😅 I had the best brownie of my life, it was store bought but like from the bakery fav dessert. I got this "new" shirt on so comfy, its tie dyed splattered different blues with an astronaut and nasa logo in white, its cute but also like 3? sizes too big (its a hand me down) dont worry abt the guy if a next time happens ill be ready for it 💪 it will go down, I personally know the man's family I will ruin his life if it comes down to it (we live in a town idk if it's small)or realistically just sic my family onto him. I found out my cousin has a gf now and is apparently very much happier than she was with her ex man (who made awesome cheesecake btw off topic tho) gay people stay winning, I did not know she was not straight tho so happy little surprise 😁 jeez its a lot of words uh I hope you're doing good and you had a good sleep and other nice stuff happen to you and you had a good trip🌷🤟🤙❤

HELPPP u are an angel. thank u❤️. and right exactly. normalize thinking fictional murders are artistic or something . thinkin abt how i used to think criminal minds murders were interesting but never had the right words so i'd just be like "woah he *kills them weirdly*? cool"😭. BUT YEAH i did get that all the time omfg "ur so mature for ur age!!" like thanks it's because i have issues and problems 💀....hmm i hate reality tv HAHA. this gc i'm in was just talking abt wife swap the other day how crazy !! idk if i've EVER liked reality tv .... i like watching commentary abt it (like uhh cody ko's stuff) but watching it myself... nope😭. daily things lets see!!! i went to the baltimore aquarium:) i was exhausted tho. saw that a tiktoker i like (hello fem will graham cosplayers...) went there a few days before me. how funny! i wish we had met and fallen in love or something. i went to bed at 5pm yesterday and slept til 3am. then went back to sleep from 6am to 10am. i think my new adhd/anxiety meds are the cause. sadly. cuz they work! but by making me too tired to be nervous or start thinking too much🥲. i'm tired 24/7 already and thats not helping LOL! i had this fancy meal ok multiple fancy meals and it was really nice. i got chesapeake chicken (haha like chesapeake ripper am i right?!?) and it had crab but i'm crazy i'm crazy i didn't eat the crab. the texture was soooo bad. anyway at another place i got a burger bc i'm lame i don't eat seafood (besides shrimp. which i am allergic to.) and i ate almost the whole thing and my friends mom said she was proud of me😭❤️. i always feel so guilty after eating a lot and that made me feel good. i've started watching more vampire video game play throughs. what can i say. vampire masquerade: bloodlines did something to my brain where i like vampire games now. it's the same guy which is cool. i dont like finding new youtubers becuz i've never kept up w whose problematic or not... like what if i get really into someone and mention it and someone's like oh yeah he preys on women. wtf. like umm cry? is he a youtuber? is he evil? cuz i was looking for a pathologic gameplay and he had one and i was like hmm... he sounds familiar. he has probably done something ? maybe? mm lastly.... i read this hunger games hannibal crossover WEEKS AGO but it's just still on my mind. i don't particularly love the hunger games but it's only bc i don't really know a lot abt it. i enjoy it but i've only seen the movies and read the first book (until rue died. never picked it up again after that! i cried a lottttt) and there's like an absurd amount of hannibal crossovers. i guess bc hannibal would totally rule in the hunger games. like come on a CANNIBAL? the uh.. capitol? they'd go crazyyyy for that. the fic itself wasn't even that groundbreaking or anything i have a lot of criticism for it tbh but it opened my brain to the concept. i have another one opened in a tab but it's super long so i haven't made much headway. i want one where it's like.... the one where the old winners come back for a game! and then they escape😈. but in the one i read will and hannibal sort of just escape anyway in a normal hunger game. like ok cool but i don't think that's plausible. but then how would it work ? like could will win a game on his own? maybe i should write my own fic. but then i'd have to understand what happens in the hunger games /j. ugh ok i was thinking abt that one scene where idk they do the little hand signal thing and drag katniss away and go to shut the door like right as they shoot that guy in the head. THAT WAS SO CRAZY. or when katniss shoots the lady instead of president snow and then everyone just descends on him💀 i feel like there's a level of nuance and understanding that i just don't have so i say "woah! cool :)" i hope ur doing well too ily❤️❤️💗

#a 'guilty' pleasure of mine is watching hunger games amvs LMFAO #asks #5 daily things #long post

[thestaffofgrayson]

1-100 for the unusual asks, you meme lord

Mmmmkay so I cant help being sassy but also wanna give a real answer so we gonna do this -> Anything in parenthesis is a real answer everything else is sass central station

1) Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  Im a dank soundcloud rapper check out my soundcloud at nobodycares540.soundcloud.fuck (I dont really use any of em tbh)

2) is your room messy or clean? *glances over* clean (m e s s y)

3) what color are your eyes? All 16 of em are different colors actually (blue)

4) do you like your name? why? No because its not Jojo (Yes!!! Love the name Perrin gonna be honest)

5) what is your relationship status? *sets status to its complicated* you could say im a bit of a player (deathly single)

6) describe your personality in 3 words or less? Im sorry who? (Described meme lord)

7) what color hair do you have? Minecraft Steve Brown (Ver Ver Pink)

8) what kind of car do you drive? color? No I run like sonic next question (nope fuck driving fuck boulder)

9) where do you shop? Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh (For what Next question)

10) how would you describe your style? Goku Black cosplay (Goku Black cosplay)

11) favorite social media account? The one with the Z U C C (Tumblr fuck snapchat)

12) what size bed do you have?  Uuuummmmmmm my size OBVIOUSLY next questions (Dont know tbh queen maybe?)

13) any siblings? Little shit brother (thats not even a joke)

14) if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?  Why this world fuck you what about mars (uuuuhhhhhh no idea gonna be honest)

15) favorite snapchat filter? Oh man! Love this one altho its not well known what ya gotta do is hit the delete button and when it asks if youre sure say yes :D (they change so often I dont pay attention)

16) favorite makeup brand(s)? Whatever it is Genji uses as eyeliner (dooont wear makeup)

17) how many times a week do you shower? I get clean by rolling around in the snow so maybe like 3 times a year (depends usually once a day with exceptions)

18) favorite tv show? I dont watch tv I AM the tv (The Office or if its Anime then Jojos Bizarre Adventure)

19) shoe size? M Y   S I Z E (size 10)

20) how tall are you?  hOWs ThE wEaTHEr dOwnTHeRe (5′9 - 5′11 somewhere in there)

21) sandals or sneakers? Gadget Shoes (legit those are cool but sneakers)

22) do you go to the gym? I think theeessseeee muscles speak for themselves (nope but I do martial arts)

23) describe your dream date  Killing all mortals and achieving a state beyond that of a god (iiiii dont know I dont really see myself going on a date)

24) how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? Why do YOU wanna know (no really why tho)

25) what color socks are you wearing? Well I’m at home on the sofa playing sonic the hedgehog and typing up responses to an ask on tumblr that about 5 people are gonna see. That being said, Dragon Ball orange. (not wearing em but I have a fuzzy pair of polar bear socks my friend Ana sent me that I love!)

26) how many pillows do you sleep with? Wait what do you mean not everyone sleeps with 25 pillows are they mad? (One for my head, one on each side, smol pillow, pillow pet)

27) do you have a job? what do you do? I am assistant regional manager at a paper supply company named Dunder Mifflin. (Not currently but I’m gonna apply to Gamestop and Costco here soon)

28) how many friends do you have? Toooooooooooooo many I hate mortals (honestly I’m too lazy to try and count rn)

29) whats the worst thing you have ever done? Well I haven’t seen Mulan don’t call the cops (Iiiiiiii’m not sure I guess cheated on my Chinese final freshman year but hey I needed to pass that)

30) whats your favorite candle scent? V o i d  (I dont use candles that much and I shooouuulld)

31) 3 favorite boy names Jo[seph] Jo[estar], Jo[taro Ku]jo, Jo[nathan] Jo[estar]  (uuuuhhhh I like my name so it would be Perrin, Joji, Donovan)

32) 3 favorite girl names Jolyne Kujo there is no 2 and 3 (Jolyne yes I know but I actually really like the name, Perrin is also a girls name so, Milly)

33) favorite actor? Shrek from Shrek the musical (Robert Downey Jr and Chris pratt)

34) favorite actress? Taylor after she sasses me and acts like nothing happened (Millie Bobby Brown)

35) who is your celebrity crush? McCree (Matt Mercer)

36) favorite movie? UM IS THIS A QUESTION LIKE??? OBVIOUSLY THE SHREK AND BEE MOVIE CROSS OVER SHREK B: HONEY AND SWAMPS (I LOVED Black Panther and Thor Ragnarok but Secret Life of Walter Mitty’s stuck with me for a loooong time)

37) do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I don’t read cuz I’m not a NERD (I mean actual books I don’t ask me about it another time but comics I sure do I love the Marvel Civil War storyline)

38) money or brains? They say Money can’t buy happiness but it can buy me more games! Eat that SUCKERS (Honestly brains because then you can be smart which can make you a lot of money. So many more benefits)

39) do you have a nickname? what is it? Perriushium, destroyer of life and bringer of the new age (Pey given to me by my brother when he was still a baby and couldn’t say my name)

40) how many times have you been to the hospital? Enough to be immune to every disease known to man NOW IM UNSTOPABLE MWAHAHA (none for any of my own conditions or injuries but for family stuff about twice)

41) top 10 favorite songs All Star, All Star, All Star, Chum Drum Bedrum, All Star, All Star, All Star, Never gonna give you up, All Star, All Star (Bloody Stream, Sono Chi no Sadame, Flying Battery Zone, Stardust Speedway, Stand Proud, Goku Black theme, Halo theme, The Apparition, Shovel Knight main theme, Hooked on a Feeling)

42) do you take any medications daily? I take a shot of cold hard whiskey when I get up (nope I dont have anything)

43) what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) The largest organ of my body I’ll tell ya that much (I honestly dont know?? Smooth and soft I guess?)

44) what is your biggest fear? The Communists lol jk Communism is the only way (I’m not so sure on this one gonna be honest I do fear something I just cant think of it at the moment)

45) how many kids do you want? I mean I’m a 16 year old teenager in high school with no job and no relationship that being said 5 (NONE EVER NOPE 0 KIDS)

46) whats your go to hair style? Super Saiyan 3 (Idk I just kinda comb it to the left)

47) what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) All Star. Wait fuck wrong quest- (Two floor medium sized house) 

48) who is your role model?  Uuuuuuuuhhhhhh (uuuuuhhhhhhhhhh)

49) what was the last compliment you received? A like on my post we did it guys we hit one like so I’m here making this 1 like special (I was told that everytime my friend see’s my dyed hair it absolutely makes his day :D) 

50) what was the last text you sent? Yeah that’ll be $5000 for the kill nice doing business with you (Maaaannny pictures of Genji Shimada)

51) how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? WHAT SANTA ISNT REAL????!!!!!?!?!?! (It kinda faded over the years my last strands of belief were gone by 12)

52) what is your dream car? Odie’s car from Garfield Kart (The Mach 5 from speed racer there’s a street legal car look it up)

53) opinion on smoking? Jotaro does it so I do it too (PSA: Smoking doesn’t make you cool or look cool you’re just killng your lungs. I won’t try and make you stop as long as you’re aware I don’t want you smoking around me and you understand the consequences)

54) do you go to college? After that SAT I meeeaaaaannnn McDonalds might be hiring (I’m still in High School but I want to)

55) what is your dream job? To stand in a corner for 8 hours with a lamp shade over my head and make a clicking sound every so often (I would like to be able to draw, animate, design and/or play games for a living. Achievement Hunter would be a fantastic job but I doubt that’s happening)

56) would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? I wanna live in a cloud In the sky and abduct people to harvest their DNA and make clones which I can fight to the death with (eh somewhere quiet and disconnected from people tbh)

57) do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? They fetch pretty high prices on eBay you’d be surprised (Nope I dont use them at all I bring my own and take my own)

58) do you have freckles? My face is a giant freckle little known fact (not really thank god I would look real bad with em)

59) do you smile for pictures? *leans in* I’m gonna let ya in on a secret kid. I wait until the photographer is just about to take the picture and then I hold a middle finger over my face to block the proper shot. Do it enough times then they’ll be payin YOU to get the picture done (I do but I only open my mouth slightly)

60) how many pictures do you have on your phone? They’re all of people I’ve killed because they showed me a stale meme dont worry about it (960 exactly and they’re all either memes, fan-art, or my cute friends)

61) have you ever peed in the woods? Ew no I don’t go outdoors thanks (Yep once on a school field trip in which we hiked to the top of a mountain it was fun)

62) do you still watch cartoons? Well I mean SOME ONE spoiled my belief in Santa earlier so I’m a bit too old for that now. I have a boring desk job thanks LAZLO (I do spongebob is really funny to me still and I LOVE the original Teen Titans)

63) do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McWendy’s next question (I dont eat either so)

64) Favorite dipping sauce? Drip dip dip I’m boutta rip please i want to die (I dont use dipping sauce either call me a heathen all you want)

65) what do you wear to bed? Well I take off the clothes I wore for the day, take off my earring, ring, necklace, eyes, hair, 3 layers of skin, and call it a night (Pajamas mostly and sometimes sweatpants)

66) have you ever won a spelling bee? *Obligatory Bee Movie Joke* (I’ve never even heard of a spelling bee in any of the schools I’ve been to)

67) what are your hobbies? Well I like to kill all mortals #ZamasuWasRight  (I enjoy martial arts, drawing, video games, game design, and walking around my house with nothing to do)

68) can you draw? UH BOI YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ART IS UNTIL YOUVE SEEN A SHITTY JOJO DRAWING OF MINE (I mean yeah but not well)

69) do you play an instrument? Electric Triangle (Actually, I play the Violin but not super well)

70) what was the last concert you saw? SORRY WHAT I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF THE CONCERT (I’ve never been to one that seems like the opposite of fun for me personally I hate hyper loud music, people, and crowds)

71) tea or coffee? Coftea next question (tea. I don’t drink caffeine if i can help it)

72) Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? I need my sugar sonic rings (Again, Don’t drink caffeine)

73) do you want to get married? I’m already getting married. MARRIED TO THE LIFE OF CRIME THAT IS UP TOP (I mean I would like to one day)

74) what is your crush’s first and last initial? My  Self (I don’t have anyone I’m crushing on)

75) are you going to change your last name when you get married? What’s crimes last name? Smigglesworth? (If my partners last name is something with an S cuz then I can be PJS)

76) what color looks best on you? You know the color mario turns when he uses the super star? T-that (Pink and Black)

77) do you miss anyone right now? PPFFFFFT NOOOOO WHATS A FEEL *CRIES* THOSE ARENT TEARS ITS JUST SWEAT IVE ANSWERED A LOT OF QUESTIONS OKAY (I miss all my internet friends :(  *cries*)

78) do you sleep with your door open or closed? It is neither open nor closed it is in a hyper dimensional state between open and closed in which no mortal can enter or exit but also cannot be blocked from passage (clooossed because otherwise the cats are gonna kill my fish)

79) do you believe in ghosts? I mean how else would I make a long and successful career as a ghost buster (I do!)

80) what is your biggest pet peeve? My pet, Peeve! Biggest one I know! (depends on for what tbh the other day a guest speaker was talking to the class and this kid was playing music in his headphones really really loud and it pissed me off)

81) last person you called? Called what? Called them a nerd? A good bean? A meme? MAKE MORE SENSE YOU ******* **** *** ******** (Well according to my phone, the name listed is “Mom”)

82) favorite ice cream flavor? I’ll ice your cream if you’re not careful (Vanilla with chocolate syrup mixed together is hella everyone GO TRY IT)

83) regular oreos or golden oreos? The fuck is a golden oreo?? (No seriously, what the actual is a golden oreo)

84) chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? *mario invincible star song plays as I flash color and dash down rainbow road* I’ll have to think about it (rainboooowww!)

85) what shirt are you wearing? Well I…. You see… The thing is…. excuse me for one second (yeah I can’t think of sass to this one but my favorite shirt! Sonic mania that my friend Tasha bought for me and I love it!!!)

86) what is your phone background?  RYUJIN NO KEN WO KURAE!! “What do you think of this color? Is it not beautiful?” If you dont know those HOW DARE YOU LEARN THEM AND WE ARE WATCHING DRAGON BALL (Genji lock screen and Goku Black home screen)

87) are you outgoing or shy? Does THIS answer your question >:D (Outgoing when I want to be, but I’m antisocial so it’s like I CAN be outgoing and personable but it’s highly on my terms ya feel?)

88) do you like it when people play with your hair? My hair is a pride to my race the Saiyans hair is a sacred thing I will advise you not to touch it (YYYEEESSSS I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT BUT THAT HARDLY EVER HAPPENS)

89) do you like your neighbors?  …..the what? Never heard of it before is that a type of appliance? (I mean they’re chill we don’t interact a lot which I’m cool with)

90) do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? Nothin can cure this ugly face fest of spring 2018 (I use face wash when I shower which is typically right after school not sure why it matters but there ya go :V)

91) have you ever been high? “I’m high on LIFE maaaannn” -Incorrect Shaggy quotes (N o p e  never have don’t plan on it)

92) have you ever been drunk? shots ShotS SHOTS SHOTSSHOTSHOTS (nope but I will one day maybe in College years)

93) last thing you ate? The shattering realization that my friends will keep saying OWO to me every chance they get (Pancakes! asked for french toast but I loooove the breakfast food so no complaints)

94) favorite lyrics right now someBODY Once Told Me The World Is Gonna Roll Me… (The lyrics to Bloody Stream dude it’s a  g r e a t  op)

95) summer or winter? Sorry I’m on Mars weather its ZXAR right now (eeehhhh winter cuz then I have an excuse to be inside and it’s also the ski season)

96) day or night? I am the darkness. I am the night. I am BATMAN (Night honestly I’m a fan of the darkness)

97) dark, milk, or white chocolate? Plllleeeeaaase its like asking if you’re heart is pure of evil or not. Dark Chocolate is a sin (Milk chocolate is the best chocolate fight me on that)

98) favorite month? See, some may argue for their birthday months, christmas, new beginnings to the year, but I say there’s only ONE spooky time :3 (Altho I’m one of the fools that’s gonna have to go with March because it usually has my favorite kind of weather for where I live)

99) what is your zodiac sign  I refuse to go by Zodiac signs until Ted Cruz is proven to be the Zodiac Kill————–”OLD MEME ALERT THIS IS THE MEME POLICE”   “I AINT GOIN BACK TO JAIL”  (Cancer! I wear a necklace of my sign all the time fun fact for ya)

100) who was the last person you cried in front of?  Me after writing all these (Don’t know actually I try not to cry in front of people ever)

#Perrin answers #Thanks for the ask! #About me

[ask-strawhat-nami-blog]

Question Meme

///Yo I was tagged by both @askmonsterpiece and @askhummingbirdhanako so I’m gonna answer a bunch of stuff rn I guess. 

Rules:

Post the rules

Answer questions by person that tagged you.

Write 11 questions of your own.

Tag 11 people

Gonna slap this shit under a readmore cuz it’s long. 

askmonsterpiece questions first!

Why did you pick your muse? Well, I’ve been a big fan of OP for nearly a decade and have always related to Nami? That, and she’s cute and my gay ass draws her all the time anyway so might as well have a reason to lmfao.

Do you cosplay? Yes, who? No, do you want to? I do! I’ve been doing casual cosplays for a few years now. I have cosplayed Luffy (well, fem!Luffy), Nami (Enies Lobby arc outfit, featuring @ask-captain-usopp as Sogekingu), aaand Mirai from Kyokai no Kanata. I think I’m probably forgetting one or two cosplays but whatever lmfao... on a slightly more embarrassing note for a few years I used to co-run and work at an annual Maid Cafe event at my college, which is coincidentally how I met @ask-captain-usopp.

Do you like writing as well? Gimme the deets I love to write! I actually minored in writing for my Bachelors. I have plans for a novel buuuut so far all I’ve really done is write short stories and fanfiction lmfao (No One Piece fics yet though.)

If you could swap art styles w/someone who would it be? Oh man, I’m so not used to digital art, it would be rad to swap with @unlucky-marine for a while tho--like pls show me how you draw on your phone, my life would be so much easier Q u Q 

Can you cook/bake? I love to cook and bake! I don’t bake as much as I used to, mostly cooking these past few years. My favorite thing to cook right now is this chicken bacon spinach alfredo recipe I found a few months back--hmu if you want the recipe it’s super easy.

When was the last time you gave yourself a compliment for all the great work you do? I’m the type to regularly give myself a pat on the back for getting stuff done, so yesterday after I did like 3 loads of laundry.  

Do you have any pets? Yes!!!! I have an old man cat named Maximus and a beta named Shouto. Maxy is a shorthair maine coon mix, and Shouto is a red and white fantail. If you ask me for pics I will send you 1 billion.

Would you ever eat chocolate dipped oreos? I’ve tried them before, they’re a bit too much for me haha. 

What’s the dumbest lie you’ve ever told? Uuuuuh in middle school I convinced a small child that was annoying me that I could see what he was doing because all girls had eyes in the back of their head--he believed me. I traumatized a grade schooler that day.

Are you the type to make a funny face back when your friend makes a funny face at you? I am the master at ugly faces. I often make them for no reason what so ever.   

Do you prefer your hair long or short? I like my hair long, but I have chronic migraines and the weight makes it worse--I’ve settled with mid length.

askHummingbirdHanako questions!

What Hogwarts house would you put yourself in? I think the last time I took the sorting hat quiz I went to Hufflepuff, which is fine with me tbh.

Favorite One Piece arc so far (including filler arcs!)? Thriller Bark is my fave!!!! I’m a sucker for anything Halloween themed.

If you could dye your hair any color, what would you choose? I’ve been wanting to go pastel pink for a while, I have a few wigs of that color and they’re super cute.

Fruits or vegetables? Fruit me up bby

Do you collect figurines? If so how many do you have? I do... they’re all OP and they’re mostly various figures of Nami. 

If you could choose to have ANY Devil Fruit power, what one would you want and why? I would love to have Kanjuro’s fruit power--being able to draw things to life would be hilarious and I’d get into so much trouble

Saddest One Piece death to you so far? I mean, nothing can compare to Ace but to be honest I was really concerned that Bon Clay was dead for a while which I simply could not handle.

What would your ideal vacation be? Where at and what would you do? I’d like to go to Iceland or Ireland and just chill out with some nice scenery tbh.

Favorite season of the year? FALL!!!!!!!

What do you think of Halloween? Are you excited for it? BOI. BOOOOOOI. 

A song that fits your mood right now. ahahahaha lately I’ve just been listening to this

SO--I’m tagging....

(not 11 people because I’m lazy)

@ask-captain-usopp @ask-offduty-borsalino @ask-marine-mitsu and @unlucky-marine

(if you’ve already done this and/or don’t feel like it don’t worry!)

1. How old were you when you really got into One Piece?

2. What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?

3. What’s your favorite smell?

4. Would you prefer to live in a rural area with lots of trees and few people, or an urban area with few trees and lots of people? 

5. Do you have any weird skills or talents? 

6. When you were a child what did you want to be when you grew up? 

7. Name one ridiculous feature your dream home would have.

8. What’s your favorite anime outside of One Piece?

9. Favorite Disney Movie and/or Miyazaki film?

10. Favorite One Piece outfit of all time? 

11. You’ve stumbled upon Franky’s magic money making machine, you now have infinite cash. What are the first 5 things you do?

#ask meme #answer #mun speaks #long post

[doubledaffy]

January, 2017. Daisy and I went to Japan to visit Kevin and Shoko. I wrote a lot about it and made this little video. XO.

1-5-17 Thursday

Kyushu island

Hippo Bakery

Beach walk. Bread. Blendy Stick. Laundry mat. Itoshima - wife and husband. I forgot my back pack on the beach it so happens. Moto guys. Daisy thought Japanese surfers were big water turkeys. Ancient pine forest. Karatsu burger. I hated. Aka egg and cheese. Kagamiyama mountain. Body move move. Karatsu castle. Ripped the cube into traffic towards Akasaka station to meet Tsuyoshi. (We got the laundry while I sat in the car). AirBnB guy. Boom box grocery store. Dars. Wasabi potato sticks. Crying toddler. Google translate sucks. Shoko made hot pot meal. Nummy. Kevin whipped his chocolate pops.

Fun fact. The man who invented Tenga, has the Guinness world record for longest JO. How fitting.

Gross airbnb hair on comforter and towel. Do not want to stay there. Wasting more money. :(

1-6-17 Friday

Big dry heave last night. Woke up at 1am thinking "oh boy, something's going on. Whoops!" Ran to the bathroom, felt the heat rise up my body. Was it the broth? The chicken? The Sake? I placed my hands upon the electronically heated seat of the Japanese washlet and began to dry heave. No barf. I felt like Barfing. But nope. My body wouldn't let me. I felt better though and went back to bed. Daisy told me in the AM that they made the HotPot with pork broth, thought of me, and then decided not to tell me. Maybe it was that. Who cares. I feel better today. Kev made Spanish French toast (torijas) for us. It was lovely. Daisy said the shower she took was the best she's ever taken. That's because there's a huge window looking out in the the sea. It's magic. Daisy and went to 7-11. Big presence here. Kev fully loves it. Apparently they make great stuff and the ATM is reliable. Located right next to the "Titty mags" as Kev explained. I took out Shoko's penny board and we stopped at HIPPO tiny surf bakery and got some snacks for the house. No salty bread. We showed up too late. I left the penny board outside and no one stole it! --- Shoko drove us to a special lunch and snack spot. Snack spot was very Japanese and cute and had weird dessert stuff. Lunch spot was closed at 3pm! Great shoe horn though. I Bought the best spoon ever. White metal. Feels like stone. Expensive ceramic gift shops. Hotto motto dance and curb eat. Sake factory great traditional architecture. Drove to muji and inkcube in the mall. Went nuts at Muji. And stuff. Daisy neck hurt. Back home. Cream soup. Organize pack. Test journals and pens out. Daisy in bed by 9. I stay up and eat cream soup and some dars. White chocolate. Do some photos and stuff. Kev teaches himself Japanese on laptop then plays StarDewValley.

1-7-17 Saturday

Woke up early. Beach walk. Big shell find. Hippo. Too early for SheoPan! 9:30 is the best time. Come back. Blendy stick with Scones and Cream Soup left over. Computer time clicky and and work / taxes shit. Shower ocean view. Skate to Hippo at 9:30. got the SheoPan. Groin pull fall on the way back. Saw Osky and the Corgy photo shoot. Kev takes us to train. I dropped 40 on the train card by mistake. Taking photos on the train is illegal, Kevin explains. Photo sound on iPhone mandatory. Unpack at AirBnb. Then Bounce to Lunch at crazy under ground mall. Green noodle soup. So many people. So many things. So many structures. So much lighting. So much movement. No white people. Babies dressing nicely. Cool gear. Women in mens wool long straight overcoats. Tan and black. Big buttons and ties. Underground mall culture. Walk tour through FuK with Kev. Side of building greenery stair case hike to views. Photo shoot women and man.  Stop at Julette’s letters. Got a CLIP and stuff. Wooden baby toys nice. Japanese Love Pop and cool pencil, etc. Walk to DONUT spot. Lots of walking. Donut spot in crazy OTHER mall under ground. Madness. Hot down there. Amazing donuts. Weird that in a mall though, but maybe that’s great. Mall Mall Mall. Energy to go to MUJI. Big walk again. Lots of stores and big streets. Mega complex. Water light projector show. Muju is calming. Hot in there. Got more shit. Wanted everything and a new house to decorate. Book for Ben. Meet up with Shoko at Hippo and crazy recycling bear. Walk to restaurant called CHIKEN. Allow smoking, but place is cool and hip and nice. Light beer life. Moscow mule. Was off, from walking and hunger. Kev big adventurous eater. Raw Chicken - SASHIMI. Crazy. Got a little buzzed and let go. Crazy smokey chicken dish. Tasty food overall. Walk back in the Rain. LAWSON Dars and purple gummy candy and Crunky! Shoko peeled off before the AirBnB after party. Incense at the Airbnb made it smell better. Muji lights. 1/4 xanax or whatever to sleep. Pushed beds together with D and passed out.

1-8-17 Sunday

Woke up. Jon Bellion hate listen. Shower in tiny shower. Trying to meet with Kev at Eggs and Things. Big American style food. Just love the American food. Not so much THAT< I love knowing what I’m eating because I have a special little diet that doesn’t really include meat or fish or pork or anything, and here in Japan that’s hard. Kev showed up. After Eats and Things we popped on the train(s) to Dazaifu - a very old (16th century) Shrine (or could be a temple, hard to remember which is which) about 1hr on the localish trains. People on the trains sleep a lot. It’s nice. Also, no one is loud. Very quiet and respectful. Trains are on time and the stations are clean. One train we took was just the loveliest color scheme - light green/blue and red. V. calming. Tons of people in the terminals at times. Felt like Grand Central Terminal. If I ever felt like wanting to go to a Bigger Japanese city, nope - this amount of people is fine. Dazaifu is amazing. Tiny village full of a billion people swarming up to see the shrine, but it was oddly peaceful because no one is rude and it’s generally quiet. Tiny shops and people cooking meat sticks and shit on the sides on the way up. At the end, before the gate, there was a naturally formed single file line just to take a pic with the whacky animal statue. Formed by the people in a simple organized way. Not like the monster americans at Disney. Just a nice simple civilized line. Inside, we had to do a special hand and mouth wash routine to cleanse ourselves a the water zone. I touched my lips to the water bucket stick because it’s hard to know the customs in other countries. A million Japanese people cycling through there each day, and Jeff touches his lips to the community water bucket. We hiked up into the woods and saw an amusement park on the other side which seemed weird being so close to a shine or whatever. We got soft meatless sweet pucks and sat at a low table. Very relaxing stroll. Felt bad that Kev was in the Glum zone not knowing if his relationship is in the pits. Train back Komono woman sleeping among all the other sleeping Japanese people. Kev bounced, had to work and wanted to be home for the night. We wish we could all just stay at the house. Going back to the AirBnB and not having family dinner with the homie was bumming us out. I was excited to take the reins and figure out where to go in the new city. Apple Maps is great for walking directions on this trip. Great UI. Google Maps looks like garbage. Daisy found a place that has burgers and veggy options called Brooklyn Parlor. No shame in just going to a cool hip place that I know I can get something I like. The thing is, the Japanese food I have eaten is amazing. But when you’re without your Japanese speaking friends, it’s very hard to make sure you aren’t eating shell fish or meat. We saw some other cool small restaurants we’d thought looked nice on the walk. 7-11 stop after dinner to get snacks. The Titty Rags had censorship thingies on the genitals and they also had tape on the pages so you couldn’t open em. Old man barfing at the bus stop, but overall we’re getting a friendly vibe from the city. Plans to watch Finding Dori on the lappy, but might just crash. Trying to plan what to do tomorrow with the rental car with Kev. Hard to plan sometimes! We’re living out of a backpack now because of the AirBnB and would like to re-up / swap out our gear.

(First horn sound we’ve heard here. Wow. Just now as I was typing this entry, just goes to show you, why honk, when you can be patient and kind?)  

1-9-17 Monday

Giants

Eggs and things iced coffee?

Train to Kevin's

Rental car madness - couldn’t find Nissan. Goosechase.

Senyoji temple - Magic. Soft. Quiet. Milltion Monks on hill. Old artifacts. Incense. Chanting on Mic.

Everyone backs their car in to the parking spot.

Ichiran Noodle Factory - ticket system. Rice and Egg and cold Mushrooms. Put the plate on the sound thingy and it makes a big sound all across the restaurant signifying that you want your next little order.

Tea Garden Madness - Light up trees across this huge empty yard with pop music blasting from a ton of speakers hidden all over the grounds. I did a BodyMoveMove, naturally.

1-10-17 Tuesday

Tried to go to Hippo today. It’s hard to go there, apparently. Closed on Tuesdays. Whoops! Came back with no pastries, so Kevy Cab hooked up the Pancakes and I took care of the Blendy Sticks. Grabbed the laundry and popped out to the long driving day through windy roads in the beautiful Japanese country side. First we stopped at the big Caldera overlook where a volcano made a blast hole a very long time ago. Then we popped down more windy roads to see the Aso Volcano. It was cloudy, but you could see a massive mountain with a big hole in it smoking underneath sets of ominous clouds. The museum center looked like something out of a Russian Post Apocalypse B movie. Drove to the wrong hot springs, I was getting car sick, so moved up front. The steering wheel is on the right side here, so sitting up front is a treat cuz you feel like you’re just controlling the car with you mind. Finally made it to the real hot springs. It’s a 24hr spot and it’s magical. You pick your favorite little hot spring house for around 1500 Yen (15 bucks). Then you pop in there, shower off, put your coins in the slot thingy that makes hot water blast out of a long tube into a beautiful wooden tub. We would have splurged for the rock tub for an extra dollar. Yup, a dollar for the upgrade. Daisy and I never felt so relaxed. I bought some sheepy slippers at the gift shop and am wearing them now. I also bought a sprite type drink that was about 1/4 size of a glass coke bottle, with a label designed to win design awards. Shoko is now getting car sick, so it’s me and her up front, with her driving. She drives very fast. On the highway she was passing mother fuckers with ease. I was nervous. Grabbed our laundry from the trusty laundry mat (drying only for us). I lay down on the bench while Daisy read Japanese Nylon. I was trying to still my body. Bopped over to the UDON noodle place and got some Tofu Noodle Udon and white rice. It was simply great. Ate at the counter and took some iPhone vids of stuff. At home raging on some 7-11 snacks we got at some point today. 7-11 here is what I want a convenience store to be. It has lots of shit I like and cheap. Daisy in bed now cuz I feel I owe it to myself to document these trips. They’re super important to me and special and I’m lucky to go on them.

1-11-17 Wednesday

Woke up at 8am and popped out to the ocean magic tree zone to dance in public for my BodyMoveMove & Exquisitemovement project. Dancing really gets the heart pumping. Daisy said she wanted to go for a run on the beach but where is she now? Face down in bed, that’s where. I can’t seem to sleep past 8 and I’m loving it. Slid over to Hippo for a pastry run. Scored that ShioPan which is very rare and special, as we all know. Came back and missed the “let’s go” and rushed to get ready. Everyone was making fun of me for being a space cadet on this trip, but I kinda like being loose and spacey when I’m not at the wheel. Most of my life is dictated by me and only me so it’s been really nice that Kev and Shoko are handling everything and being great tour guides. We zap over to Shoko’s parent’s house which is a traditional Japanese magical tiny compound. Garden’s and outbuildings and paths tucked and squeezed into the tiny suburban hillside. They have another house that they open as a cafe and art gallery and everything is as you’d expect a modern day / ancient Japanese house to be. They have a fucking COY POND in the middle of it all with lots of buddies swimming back and forth. Their toilet has a button that lifts and lowers the seat - no touch lifestyle. That sums up the house and how rad it is. We jammed over to a fast food Sushi Roll place that uses a conveyer belt system to deliver your food and you pay per plate. You order on the touch screen and it makes a lot of loud chimes and screams at you, which is the only downside. All this annoyance is overruled by the convenience and novelty. I ate no fish because fish grosses me out and I feel bad for them. They say fish is good for you, but not for me because it’s disgusting and smells like low tide. Your kid isn’t dressed up like he/she is headed to fashion week? Don’t bring them outside then. That’s the rule. Tolls here are very expensive, but the roads, even though I can’t read a god damn word, seem to be great and tight and efficient and clean. Next, we bopped over to the largest bronze Buddah that is laying down. It’s magnificent and peaceful. Snagged a Bodymovemove before going inside and praying at all the little pray stations. Then we got little balls with feathers on them to toss into the tiny buckets but none of us were successful. Guess what? This place is manicured to perfection and has a very hand made feel. Lots of paths into the forest and mini shrines and stuff. Even a tiny Torii Gate you can crawl through. Whoops, sun is setting, so we blast off to another Temple Shrine they’re calling Hay something. It has a lot of stairs and you can see the ocean and whatever. Big hay knot thingy you can pray to. We got gas and stopped at Aeon for food and snacks for gifts. The Nissan March really gets good gas mileage. I can’t find my lens cap, but who cares, I already got the good Bokeh shot on the highway. We’ve been using a “Shared Wallet” System, which is neat. You all put in the same amount of $ at the beginning and when you do group activities you all take out of that. At the end if there’s any left, you split it up. It works well or whatever. Back home Shoko made hot pot - no pork so I don’t need to dry heave over the wash-let again! Beers for everyone but me and desserts and funny convo on the futon and stuff. I took a bath listening to the ocean waves pulse. So nice. That pulsing really does wash away everything bad.

(so that’s it for what I have written. I know we stayed in Japan longer, maybe I wrote the rest of my thoughts in an actual journal? Hard to care to search for it right now. Maybe the video above will do the trick closing that gap. I’m updating this blog right now and it’s 5/11/19 10:07AM)

[betweenrivers-betweenworlds]

Tag game fun time zone

Get to know me tag game!

Tagged by @svartalfhild, who is quite the cool kid.

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

LAST:

1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: My younger sister Mary. 3. Text message: Group chat. "Man nod" (poking fun at a typo) 4. Song you listened to: rn I'm listening to Resonance by HOME. 5. Time you cried: Uhhhhhhhhhhhh...a while?

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Nope. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yeah, but that was part of a much larger thing. So it wasn't the kiss itself, but the kiss was part of it. 8. Been cheated on: No. 9. Lost someone special: No. 10. Been depressed: Meh 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yup. Don't recommend it..

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: black red and blue.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Oui.. 16. Fallen out of love: Nah. 17. Laughed until you cried: At least one time I'm p sure.. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don't think so? Like in a shit-talking way? 19. Met someone who changed you: I like to think I pick up things from everyone I know, but I wouldn't say I've changed fundamentally lately. 20. Found out who your friends are: Not in fuck-you-you-weren't-there-for-me mode. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yarp.

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Most of the folk, probably. There are a lot from high school/college, but there are others who are internet friends I haven't met in person yet. There's also a dude from Egypt who one of us befriended the other over a fb game but we've never actually spoken. Oh, and a dude from one of my old chat room/forum things. Never really talked with him either but w/e. 23. Do you have any pets: No, but my roomie does. 24. Do you want to change your name: Naru 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Kelsey and I had a shared bday. We had cake n shiz. 26. What time did you wake up: My alarm went off at 8, I got out of bed a bit after that. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I think I was actually trying to sleep then. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Getting back to my apartment. I'm writing this on the bus rn lol 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Close to an hour ago. She and Mary dropped me off. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I'd dropkick my asthma. 31. What are you listening to right now: Same song as before. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I have an uncle named Tom, so yeh. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My ankle being a sack of shit b/c of Ragnar. 34. Most visited website: Tumblr probs

RANDOM INFO:

35. Mole/s: One or two I think? 36. Mark/s: Like what? Scars? Freckles? Dirt? I have some scars (including a chicken pox scar on my forehead and some on my knees from falling into gravel) and some freckles. Fewer than I'd like tho. 37. Childhood dream: At varying points I wanted to be a train conductor person thing, and an archaeologist/paleontologist. 38. Hair color: Brown 39. Long or short hair: Short 41. What do you like about yourself: A few things. 42. Piercings: None, but I've been told I could rock earrings. 43. Blood type: I always forget it. I think it's O+? 44. Nickname: Alex is short for Alexander, but there's some others that I've had through the years like Freaky Elder (middle school thing. Hard to explain). 45. Relationship status: Got a lady friend. 46. Zodiac: Virgo 47. Pronouns: he/him 48. Favorite TV Show: Fuuuuuuuuuuu-Person of Interest, maybe? 49. Tattoos: Nada 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: None. 52. Hair dyed in different color: Nah. 53. Sport: Cross country, track, wrestling, soccer, I've played those all. XC was the big one for moi. 55. Vacation: Mostly to Canada or other states. 56. Pair of trainers: Brooks Adrenaline GTS 17. I've used the Adrenaline GTS line since high school and it's served me p dang well.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: I eat a lot. 58. Drinking: I try to keep hydrated. I drink more coffee than tea but I'll drink them both. 59. I’m about to: Get back to my apartment, but that'll be a while so it's not really "about to". 61. Waiting for: Various shiz to load b/c the bus internet is sorta slow (which I get cuz it's free but still) 62. Want: No student loan debts. 63. Get married: Some day? 64. Career: Fucken. Who knows at this point.

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: Both are good, but hugs are easier to deal out and I come from a huggy family. 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes? I pay more attention to those. 67. Shorter or taller: I don't really have a preference, although most folk I'm interested in are shorter cuz I'm 6'2" 68. Older or younger: Just not extremes in either direction. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms? I guess? 71. Sensitive or loud:  I don't entiendo. 72. Hook up or relationship: I think I tend towards relationship? But it depends. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Nah.

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: As in someone I had met that night? Or just someone I didn't know, period? Because if the latter, then no. 75. Drank hard liquor: Yup. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No. I don't wear them. Well, sunglasses but anyway. 77. Turned someone down: Yup. 78. Sex on the first date: I have. 79. Broken someone’s heart: Yup. Like not intending to hurt but it happens sometimes. 80. Had your heart broken: Yup. 81. Been arrested: Nope. 82. Cried when someone died: I think I cried when my grandparents died? But I was also like, 11 so. Uhh, probably died for my other grandma. That was sophomore year of college. 83. Fallen for a friend: Yeah.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Usually. 85. Miracles: Nope. 86. Love at first sight: Nah. It's a process if you ask me. 87. Santa Claus: Nah. 88. Kiss on the first date: I have, but it's not my norm.

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: ??? 91. Eye color: Brown. 92. Favorite movie: L A B Y R I N T H

tagging (screw the rules): @wenamedthedogkylo, @regexkind, @americas-shit-salad

Only if you wanna. Feel free to tag yourself too.

#sobre mi

[disableddisaster]

ALL

1.Who was the last person you held hands with?

****

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

****4. Are you easy to get along with?

sadie says yes

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

probably

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

women

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

well see which way the gay winds blow

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

erase nb identities COOL !!!!!!!!!!!!! 

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

not rly !!!

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

river says me bitch

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!” to @gaysun

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

paramores entire new album killed me 

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

i dont have hair

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

no

15. What good thing happened this summer?

summer just started!!!!!!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

......... Yes

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

YES

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

NO gross

19. Do you like bubble baths?

yes!

20. Do you like your neighbors?

i dont know them theyre hermits and theyre old

21. What are you bad habits?

i pick at my skin!!!!!!!!!!!!!

22. Where would you like to travel?

i wanna go back to NYC.............

23. Do you have trust issues?

i thimk so

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

what routine lmfao

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

my *******

26. What do you do when you wake up?

shower

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

this question is DUMB lmao

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my best friend!!!!

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

nope

30. Do you ever want to get married?

eventually

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

i have a buzzcut

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

dude idk

33. Spell your name with your chin.

sdnbhgm,a

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

N o never in my life

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV 

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

oh boy YEA

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

nothing.... its silent...............

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

she...... is an angel

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

the thrift store..?

40. What do you want to do after high school?

high school is already done and im not rly doin gwhat i want lol

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

NO LOL

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

that im dead, because i never shut the fuck up

43. Do you smile at strangers?

ITS RUDE NOT TO

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

SPACE

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

my cat

46. What are you paranoid about?

beetles in my bed

47. Have you ever been high?

yes it sucked

48. Have you ever been drunk?

yes its fun

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

yes lol

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

i dont rly like hoodies

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

conceptually?

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

i wish my fibro would go away

53. Favourite makeup brand?

i dont rly wear makeup

54. Favourite store?

the grocery store

55. Favourite blog?

@gaybellaswan

56. Favourite colour?

YELLLOW!!!!!!

57. Favourite food?

coffee  

58. Last thing you ate?

salad

59. First thing you ate this morning?

crispy chicken wrap from tim hortons!!!

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

ive won almost every limbo competition ive ever participated in

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

nope

62. Been arrested? For what?

nope

63. Ever been in love? 

idk

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

it was on my bed in 2014

65. Are you hungry right now?

no

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

that makes no SENSE

67. Facebook or Twitter?

facebook but its still awful

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

no

70. Names of your bestfriends? 

jenna, sab, emily, river, sadie :-)

71. Craving something? What?

coffee

72. What colour are your towels?

every colour

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

a giant bear, a carrot, a giant whale, and two pillows

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

a giant bear, a carrot, a cow, and a giant whale

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

i have no idea

75. Favourite animal?

CAT CATCATC

76. What colour is your underwear?

its grey

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

chocolate chip cookie dough

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

grey

80. What colour pants?

black

81. Favourite tv show?

the office

82. Favourite movie?

princess bride

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

ive never seen either

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

21 jump street cuz i actually saw that one

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

dude idk

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

the LIL SQYUID

87. First person you talked to today?

****

88. Last person you talked to today?

im talkin to sadie rn

89. Name a person you hate?

shay.

90. Name a person you love?

JENNA!!!!!

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

cole

92. In a fight with someone?

no

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

one pair 

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

a fuck ton

95. Last movie you watched?

i dont remember it had selena gomez in it tho

96. Favourite actress?

kristen stewart

97. Favourite actor?

men suck

98. Do you tan a lot?

I HHAVE A SUNBURN

99. Have any pets?

4 CATS!

100. How are you feeling?

yelly\

101. Do you type fast?

YES

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

everyone regrets somethimg

103. Can you spell well?

not really 

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

not really

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

one time i went to a bonfire party and got so drunk i lost my shoes

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

idk probably

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yes!!

108. What should you be doing?

noothing

109. Is something irritating you right now?

gfufu

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

no

111. Do you have trust issues?

yeah

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

****

113. What was your childhood nickname?

shy

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yes!!!

115. Do you play the Wii?

its 2017

116. Are you listening to music right now?

sia!!!

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

only tge real stuff the stuff in those packets is garbage

118. Do you like Chinese food?

doesnt everyone

119. Favourite book?

idk harry potter or somethimg

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

no

121. Are you mean?

i dont think so but mean lesbian is my brand so i guess

122. Is cheating ever okay?

NO the fuck

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

i dont own white shoes for that reason

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

not really??

125. Do you believe in true love?

maybe!!!

126. Are you currently bored?

im answering 150 fyckin questions what do u think

127. What makes you happy?

cats!!!!!!

128. Would you change your name?

literally to Shy

129. What your zodiac sign?

libra

130. Do you like subway?

like the restaurant? yeah

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

i am not friends with a single man

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

still river

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

idk man

134. Can you count to one million?

theoretically

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

idk i cant think of any

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

open so the cats can get in!

137. How tall are you?

4′11

138. Curly or Straight hair?

i have straight hair but curly hair is so pretty

139. Brunette or Blonde?

brunettes 

140. Summer or Winter?

SUMMER

141. Night or Day?

night time

142. Favourite month?

may

143. Are you a vegetarian?

as much as i can be, but im broke and ill eat food

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

dark!!!!!!!!!!!!

145. Tea or Coffee?

COFFEE

146. Was today a good day?

i think so!!

147. Mars or Snickers?

neither tbh

148. What’s your favourite quote?

‘im gay’ - me

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

i dont know!!!

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line

there is not a book anywhere near me tbh   

#to-andromeda

[theboywiththepinkfloralpurse]

134 questions

1: Name - Joel 2: Age - 18 (19 in June) 3: 3 Fears - being alone, not making anything of myself, and bugs lol 4: 3 things I love - My Sweet and Wonderful Boyfriend, music and making music, chocolate 5: 4 turns on - the back of my neck, it's really sensitive… when the other person takes control… that's all you get for now ;) 6: 4 turns off - biting, roughness lol, uncomfortable positions, boobs (lol) 7: My best friend - Sterling 8: Sexual orientation - Gay (duh XD) 9: My best first date - pizza place with my current boyfriend 10: How tall am I - 5’6” 11: What do I miss - my boyfriend. And music camp tbh 12: What time was I born - not sure… the afternoon maybe? 13: Favorite color - Teal 14: Do I have a crush - very much so 15: Favorite quote - not my favorite but I love it cuz it's hilarious “...the people that put the chemicals in the water that turned the friggin frogs gay!” - Alex Jones 16: Favorite place - Sterling's house (and now anywhere with my boyfriend :) 17: Favorite food - Mac n’ cheese. Also chicken 18: Do I use sarcasm - nooooooo I neeeeever eeeeeeever use sarcasm (lol) 19: What am I listening to right now - my Mom has some cringey Christian radio station on... 20: First thing I notice in a new person - kindness 21: Shoe size - 10 (12 women's XD) 22: Eye color - blue 23: Hair color - dirty blonde 24: Favorite style of clothing - sweaters with or without buttons, clothes with buttons in general. Fall clothes 25: Ever done a prank call? - once… it was so cringey but he actually fell for it

27: Meaning behind my URL - theboywiththepinkfloralpurse was my first blog where I really needed someplace to make venting emotional posts and I'd just gotten a tacky pink purse with flowers lol. a-random-gay-bunny is pretty self explanatory lol 28: Favorite movie - ahhhhhh I'm so bad at picking favorites for most things…. I do really like V for Vendetta tho. Seen it many times, and the entire X-Men series. 29: Favorite song - too many to pick… 30: Favorite band - except this… I can say for sure it's Pentatonix. I've seen them in concert twice, I love them so much 31: How I feel right now - happy, but I wanna hold my boyfriend and kiss him 32: Someone I love - My boyfriend John 33: My current relationship status - very taken <3 34: My relationship with my parents - much better than a couple years ago, still a little rocky but pretty good 35: Favorite holiday - probably Christmas 36: Tattoos and piercing I have - none 37: Tattoos and piercing I want - I'm not sure, but I would like a tattoo or a few one day 38: The reason I joined Tumblr - to vent my feelings to the void lol 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - don't have one 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - everyday :) <3 41: Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? - this question is weird lol, but John's the last person I texted and the only person I've kissed :) 42: When did I last hold hands? - yesterday 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - depends, I can get ready really quickly if need be though 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? - nope. Last I shaved was a week ago I think 45: Where am I right now? - at home on my couch 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - either Sterling, John or both, but I don't plan on getting drunk ever. I guess it could happen but probably won't be drinking in the future 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - both, usually slightly loud though 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - yeah… hopefully not for too much longer 49: Am I excited for anything? - seeing my boyfriend on Saturday, and going to camp in 52 days, and hopefully passing my driver's test in 107 days. 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - sort of? I feel like I can tell Tabby everything 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - not too often, only in situations where I feel uncomfortable but feel I need to smile. 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - couple of hours ago 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - I'd be vereh sad and I'd want to know why. But he wouldn't do that :) 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - I'm a really trusting person so probably 55: What is something I disliked about today? - I couldn't see my boyfriend and kiss his cute face 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - uhhh… I dunno… maybe Tyler Oakley cuz I bet that would be really fun 57: What do I think about most? - heehee, my boyfriend. And also getting a job and figuring out plans for things, always running through plans in my head. 58: What’s my strangest talent? - I'm not sure, but the fact I can sing so low and so high is a pretty strange talent I guess 59: Do I have any strange phobias? - I'm very afraid of getting water in my eyes 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - behind it 61: What was the last lie I told? - I told my Mom I understood when she told me that my having a boyfriend is very difficult and awkward for her. I really don't understand 62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - definitely on the phone, but before my boyfriend I would've said neither 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - I'd like to believe in aliens, but I dunno. As for ghosts I don't believe in them at all really. 64: Do I believe in magic? - kind of? I think people can and have been able to connect with demons and been controlled by them. I don't think it really happens today much anymore. I think it might tho? 65: Do I believe in luck? - not really, sort of in a cutesy way tho 66: What's the weather like right now? - slightly cloudy, but the sun has mostly set anyway 67: What was the last book I've read? - all the way through? Animal Farm. The last book I opened and read from was a book Sterling gave me. 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - Oh god no, do some people like that smell? 69: Do I have any nicknames? Dork, pianoman (from this strange sports camp where everyone had a nickname) 70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? - had a car hood slam on a couple fingers, they didn't break tho surprisingly. Never had a broken bone 71: Do I spend money or save it? - spend… I shouldn't, I need to make money so I can start saving 72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - just barely the bottom of my nose 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes, my old pink purse and probably some other stuff 74: Favorite animal? - besides cats and bunnies, red pandas 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - talking to bae 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - I don't think he has one? Strange question lol 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - you'll be in my heart by Phil Collins 78: How can you win my heart? - genuinely caring about me :) 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - Here lies the gayest gay to ever gay 80: What is my favorite word? - maybe bitch lol 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - a bunch of furry blogs lol 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - …..hi?... anybody wanna give me free money and help me see my boyfriend more?.... 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no. Unless I have distant relatives in jail 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - teleportation 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - not many, but one is “have you cheated on school assignments” 86: What is my current desktop picture? - my cat Loki 87: Had sex? - nope 88: Bought condoms? - nope 89: Gotten pregnant? - NOPE XD 90: Failed a class? - no 91: Kissed a boy? - yee 92: Kissed a girl? - nononono 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - not yet ;) 94: Had job? - not yet :( 95: Left the house without my wallet? - plenty of times lol 96: Bullied someone on the internet? - maybe? When I was like 13/14 I might've, but not really, I made cringey YouTube comments. 97: Had sex in public? - nope lol 98: Played on a sports team? - nope 99: Smoked weed? - nope 100: Did drugs? - nope 101: Smoked cigarettes? - nope 102: Drank alcohol? - nope 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - nope 104: Been overweight? - nope 105: Been underweight? - ...yeah 106: Been to a wedding? - many… many 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - HA plenty of times XD 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - probably 109: Been outside my home country? - no 110: Gotten my heart broken? - yeah 111: Been to a professional sports game? - actually yeah… it was boring 112: Broken a bone? - nope 113: Cut myself? - no, I considered once but immediately decided against it because I know someone close to me who did 114: Been to prom? - nope 115: Been in airplane? - a few times 116: Fly by helicopter? - nope 117: What concerts have I been to? - Oh lots, a bunch of em were when I had a scholarship that allowed me to see concerts for free 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - plenty lol, better question would be had a crush on the opposite sex. Which the answer would be… once 119: Learned another language? - sorta? Not fluently no lol 120: Wore make up? - nope, I don't like stuff on my face like face paints and makeup and stuff 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - nope 122: Had oral sex? - nope 123: Dyed my hair? - no, but I want to someday. Like a fun color 124: Voted in a presidential election? - yeah 125: Rode in an ambulance? - nope 126: Had a surgery? - nope 127: Met someone famous? - kinda! 128: Stalked someone on a social network? - a few times... 129: Peed outside? - yeah, hasn't everybody at least once? Right? 130: Been fishing? - once… super boring 131: Helped with charity? - not yet, can't afford to yet lol 132: Been rejected by a crush? - once 133: Broken a mirror? - don't think so 134: What do I want for birthday? - always a difficult question. But definitely want to see my boyfriend :)

[selina569]

1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?

Phone: Ignis Scientia Desktop: Natalie Dormer

2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

Yeah I have lol

3) What was your last text message?

“Ok”

4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years?

I would like to have a career in publishing, and/or doing something with my writing, be married, and have at least one kid :)

5) If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

Sleeping. I’m tired af

6) What was your coolest Halloween costume?

Poison Ivy <3

7) What was your favorite 90s show?

Charmed

8) Who was your last kiss?

@jaesylvr

9) Have you ever been stood up?

Yes multiple times in high school

10) Favorite ice cream flavor?

World Class Chocolate: dark and white chocolate mousse flavored icecream

11) Have you been to Las Vegas?

No, but I want to.  

12) Your favorite pair of shoes? 

Silver, sparkly, peep-toe, stilettos

13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?

Yes.  

14) What is your favorite fruit?

Grapes

15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible?

@jaesylvr​

16) Are you into hookups? Short or long term relationships?

Doesn’t really matter i’m up for whatever.

17) Do you smoke? If so, what?

Yes: hookah and weed

18) What do you do to get over your anger?

Shut myself away and watch tv or listen to music

19) Do you believe in God?

I believe in the kind of God situation that Supernatural has.

20) Does the person you're in love with know it?

I hope so ;)

21) Favorite position?

Sexually? Me on bottom because I’m lazy lol  

22) What's your horoscope sign?

Gemini

23) Your fears?

Clowns, bugs, cars, drinking fountains, throwing up, someone I love dying, failure

24) How many pets do you have? What kind? 

5 Cats: Mistique, Finn, Kiki, Thor, and Loki

25) What never fails to turn you on?

Neck kisses, when the other takes control/initiates, hugs from behind :3

26) Your idea of a perfect first date?

I don’t really have one I’m down for whatever just don’t be boring.

27) What is something most people don't know about you?

I was sexually harrassed and assaulted

28) What makes you feel the happiest?

My cats, music, spring days, book smell, TV, those rare moments i have where I can just do nothing.

29) What store do you shop at most often?

Either Charlotte Rousse, Victoria’s Secret, or Hot Topic

30) How do you feel about oral? Giving and/or receiving? 

I like giving and receiving, but I have jaw problems so after giving I am in extreme pain :(

31) Do you believe in karma?

Hell Yeah

32) Are you single?

Nope

33) Do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?

Use your words! Material objects do not substitute an apology......but chocolate.

34) Are you a good swimmer?

Yes

35) Coffee or Tea?

COFFEE!!!

36) Online shopping or shopping in person?

Shopping in person because girls clothes are fucking weird!

37) Would you rather be older or younger than your current age?

Younger, I miss being a carefree child.

38) Cats or Dogs?

Both!

39) Are you a competitive person?

It depends on the situation.

40) Do you believe in aliens?

Duh.

41) Do you like dancing?

Yes!

42) What kind of music to you listen to?

I listen to everything there isn’t a lot I don’t like

43) What is your favorite cartoon character?

Flynn Rider <3

44) Where are you from?

Shaumburg, Illinois, U.S

45) Eat at home or eat out?

Getting food to pickup and bring back home lol

46) How much more social are you when you're drunk?

Very! My alcohol of choice is tequila and I become a sloot

47) What was the last thing you bought for yourself? 

Chips at my school’s vending machine

48) Why do you think your followers follow you?

I have no idea lol but if anything probably my variety of content. It’s a little of everything.

49) How many hours do you sleep at night?

Average: 5-6

50) What worries you most about the future?

Finances

51) If you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends?

Probably, I try to reassure myself a lot because of my constant doubt

52) Are you happy with yourself?

Overall yes, but there is always room for improvement

53) What do you wish you didn't know?

I wish I didn’t know my fear of driving and cars because it is so crippling to my daily life.

54) What big lesson could people learn from your life?

STOP OBSESSING OVER SOME STUPID ASS PERSON WHO DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU, also don’t let people invalidate your sexuality.

55) If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?

Probably the bunker in Supernatural because hot boys and loads of books <3

56) What's your favorite Website?

Netflix.com

57) What's the habit you're proudest of breaking?

Holding onto toxic people

58) What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles?

From my college to my parents’ house.

59) What's the best bargain you've ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?

Goodwill and Savers always have super cheep book and I can get like 10 books for $5-$15

60) What do you order when you eat Chinese food?

Hot and sour soup, chicken or shrimp entree, fried rice, egg roll, crab rangoons

61) If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?

Alaska cuz John Green lol

62) If you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be?

English or Creative Writing

63) Favorite kind of chips?

Lime flamin hot cheetos

64) Favorite kind of sandwich?

Italian Sub

65) Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?

As a writer, definitely the thesaurus

66) Have you ever been stung by a bee?

Bee no. Wasps 3 times

67) What's your favorite form of exercise?

Any exercise that doesn’t feel like I’m exercising 

68) Are you afraid of heights?

Without restraints yes

69) What's the most memorable class you've ever taken?

Senior year high school creative writing

70) What's your favorite breakfast?

Eggs (over medium), bacon, sausage, chocolate chip pancakes, coffee

71) Do you like guacamole?

Fuck yes

72) Have you ever been in a physical fight?

Not by choice. Two guys were fighting and took me down with them

73) What/who are you thinking about right now?

How much I want to leave this class, and @hipstalexis​ because she told me to answer all of these lol

74) Do you like cuddling?

Yes!!!

75) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

Yeah I’m always dwelling on shit

76) Have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears?

Yeah I have been in multiple car accidents, and Clowns are a popular part of culture unfortunately.

77) Favorite city you've been to?

NEW YORK. I was only 7, but I fell in love and need to go back

78) Would you break the law to save a family member?

Depends on the family member

79) Talk about an embarrassing moment?

My roommate walked in and heard me having sexy time lol

80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in?

Rape prevention, Suicide prevention, Animal rights, Civil rights, Feminism

81) What's the worst injury you've ever had?

Either my concussion or breaking 3 bones in my hand

82) Favorite day of the week?

Thursday because I only have one class, and I usually don’t work

83) Do you consider yourself sexually open minded?

Yes, very. I’ll try everything once. 

84) How do you feel about porn?

Perfectly natural. I watch, read, and write porn

85) Which living celebrity would you like to know?

Natalie Dormer and Tom Hiddleston <3 <3 <3

86) Who was your hottest ex?

No

87) Do you want/have kids?

Yes I want 3

88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you?

Yes and they were all liars

89) Do you get easily distracted?

All the time

90) Ass or titties?

TIDDYS!

91) What is your favorite word?

Antidisestablishmentarianism

92) How do you feel about tattoos?

Love them! Have 1; want more!

93) Do you have any pets?

Already answered lol

94) How tall are you?

5′4′’

95) How old are you?

21

96) 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot?

Eyes, hair, and legs

97) Is there anything you're really passionate about?

Writing and makeup

98) Do you have trust issues?

Fuck yes

99) Do you believe in love at first sight?

No

100) What are some words that you live by? Why? 

“I learned a long time ago that a person can stand just about anything for 10 seconds, then you just start on a new 10 seconds. All you’ve got to do is take it 10 seconds at a time.” -Kimmy Schmidt, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

Because whenever something bad, upsetting, or whatever is happening to me I live by this and take 10 seconds to get through it, then I start over. It makes the pain and self doubt manageable.

#personal #questions #about me

[theworstbob]

the thing journal, 3.19.2017

review-like bitlets of the 7+ new things i took in last week.

this week: mystery team, what we do in the shadows, quelle chris, /sigh/ ed sheeran, the lies of locke lamora, sorority noise, margo price, valerie june

1) Mystery Team, dir. Dan Eckman: This is such a small movie, and such a relatively hidden gem, that I kinda feel bad for pointing out flaws. There's so much charm that I feel the gross-out humor is, while executed well, really out-of-place, doesn’t really fit with what I thought the movie was best at doing, and I really think they should've done more with Donald Glover's boundless exuberance and Aubrey Plaza's deadpan stare; that's a quality comic pairing that I kinda think got short shrift, and for good reason, it's DerrickComedy not DerrickComedy & Friends, but that's still a well they could've explored more. (Hey Bob! maybe edit that sentence?) Nah, dude. Such a solid comedy, though. The central goof somehow never grows tiresome, is in fact never fully abandoned, and they take this concept to really interesting places; like, these characters in a gentleman's club would have been good enough, but they found an absurd angle to take that took it to a whole new level (and then they took it to... a different place? a decidedly less whimsical place, to be certain). There's a lot of imagination, and that’s this film’s saving grace. Honestly, bringing up what I don’t like about this film kind of feels like analyzing a newborn fawn’s first steps. “Yeah, see, the great ones, they strut out the womb. Birth to trot time here is pitiful, not pro-quality at all. You can tell he doesn’t have that motor. You can’t teach motor, you just c -- why is it vomiting. Goddamnit, but why.”

2) What We Do in the Shadows, dir. Taika Waititi: I'm counting this as a film I haven't seen before because I was half-asleep the first time I saw it! It's... Enjoyable, I guess, is the right word? Hey. Team. Let's real quick talk about something. Why has every comedy I've seen in 2017 had a protracted vomiting sequence? It was a good time in Santa Clarita Diet. It was at least acceptable in Mystery Team because that's about what I expected from a film of its caliber. Why did anyone need to vomit here? Or, perhaps more accurately, why have I missed what makes vomit so inherently funny? The gross-out gag didn't really fit the general vibe of this film. This film was so subtle, so deadpan it's hard to tell what the jokes were, then the dude eats a fry, "You shouldn't have done that!" BLEEEEEEEEH like why, did that advance anyone's arc in a meaningful way that i just missed, did it test so well that they would've been fools to cut it, i don't get it. That was the one thing about this movie that wasn't right up my alley, which is why I spent so many sentences talking about it.

3) Being You Is Great, I Wish I Could Be You More Often, by Quelle Chris: Because I've never smoked pot in my life, I was initially put off by the weirdness of this album, but because I'm a generally weird person, I was on this album's wavelength by about halfway through, and now I'm stoked to give this an album a shot now that I know what to expect and that it's something I feel. It's especially nice to hear something this weird and unique because I came to this on Monday and, hey, y'all know what I did over the last weekend? Listened to a fuckton of shitty pop(/country) songs from 2007. It's such a treat to come into this world where this dude's being his own dude.

4) Divide, by Ed Sheeran: In what world is "Eraser" not just an acceptable track to put on this album, but the opening track ahead of "Castle on the Hill." "Castle on the Hill" strikes a much clearer tone, sets an actual mission. "Eraser" is just the song where Ed Sheeran raps because how do you know your limits if you never push them, and not only is it a bad intro, it’s redundant because THAT'S WHAT "GALWAY GIRL" IS THERE TO DO. Ugh. Whatever. I hate how much I enjoyed "Galway Girl." I dunno, this wasn't the worst thing in the world, there were parts were I was like "enh" but parts I really dug, so I guess cheers to exactly fulfilling my expectations!, but I kinda wish it had a more cohesive sound? This was like Ed Sheeran's tour through the magical world of music. This is U2! This is dancehall! This is traditional Irish rap! This is what your exceedingly normal cousins will play at their weddings! This? is Spain!??? And it's like hey man, just be yourself. /remembers ed sheeran's early works Yeah OK this is more than acceptable, then. As something I made myself listen to for a thing no one ever asked for, I couldn't have asked for a better time.

5) The Lies of Locke Lamora, by Scott Lynch: This was a really impressive con man story told within the parameters of basic-ass fantasy. It was this Breaking Bad-esque display of a character getting out of the tightest corners possible, and part of the extrication from the corner involves a sword fight. Father Chains is one of the best, most down-to-earth characters I've ever come across in this kind of novel, and there's a short interlude toward the end between Chains and the title character that I'm still thinking about and laughing at, but it is this kind of novel, where they call chicken “capon.” You can call it chicken. No one’s gonna call bullshit if you call it chicken. Goddamnit. Like there's a Gabe Liedman bit about The Fantasy which all fantasy novelists apparently share and how boring that makes standard fantasy, and I don't 100% get why this needed to be set in a vaguely Spanish (but almost certainly British) fantasy land with an all-powerful wizard? But y'know what, if that's what's in your heart, you write your heart out, and the fact this was fantasy didn't keep me from having a grand old two weeks on the bus.

6) You're Not as _____ as You Think, by Sorority Noise: After my first listen, I immediately hit play on this thing again, 'cuz fuuuuuuuuck, y'all. One of my favorite records of last year was The Hotelier's Goodness, it was this odd little thing that I kept returning to because it kept hitting me in this certain way, felt like an album that sort of understood the special way in which I'm depressed. This album does what Goodness does, but in a more conventional way, speaking about emptiness and failure and staying in your own head, but with music that positively soars at points, like holy shit "A Portait Of" is kind of perfect? And maybe it's worth dissecting why something more conventional hit me harder than the weirdness of Goodness, but fuck it, not now, this is _____ time, and I absolutely love this. If this doesn't end up being my #1 album of 2017, I'm going to be so stoked, because I will have heard something better than this. My favorite punk album since No Closer to Heaven. I don't think I'm going to be capable of having rational thoughts about this album.

7) Midwest Farmer's Daughter, by Margo Price: hahaha you can hear the OH SHIT I DON'T WANT IT TO BE ALL DUDES THIS WEEK from a million miles away! I really dug this. I think it's probably the least interesting out of anything in the recent rash of traditional-leaning country albums, but we're talking about Big Day in a Small Town and Sailor's Guide to Earth and Traveler, that is a strong-ass chain that would see this album as the weakest link. I think, because I had this follow _____, I wasn't really in a space where I could connect to a different kind of sadness than my own? And it's not fair to this album that its evaluation should suffer because I try to binge albums.

7a) The Sun's Tirade, by Isaiah Rashad: So like I've listened to this a couple times on the bus before, so it doesn’t belong in the New Things category, but I just wanted to give this a quick shout-out, because I actually spent some uninterrupted quality time with it (previous listens have been marred by connection issues MUSIC IN 2017 HOLLA), and man, this dude kills it. It's like a Gothic OutKast, if that makes any sense. I'm really intrigued to see how he builds off of this, because man, if he can put the pieces together, he's gonna be incredible.

8) The Order of Time, by Valerie June: It should surprise no one I lurk on a website called Saving Country Music, which is where I heard about this woman, and I was intrigued enough by the description to check her out, and this is like the country version of the Quelle Chris album, where it took me a few tracks to get on the same wavelength, but once I was there, I was there, and I loved spending time in this fully-realized world. I almost feel bad calling this country; trying to fit this into a genre feels inappropriate, like, there isn't a word for Valerie June's songs, there's only the phrase Valerie June's songs. There’s this album I listened to last year, My Wild West by Lissie, this really dreamy and ethereal-feeling folk-rock album, and that’s the closest comparison I can find to The Order of Time, except The Order of Time is more eclectic, has a more interesting sound. It’s a touch slower than what I typically go for, but this is a phenomenal artist doing something crazy-unique and making it sound dope, and I appreciate it.