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television-overload · 4 days

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of our own making

(an X-Files fanfic)

Oh hey, look, it's that massive story I've been working on since January! I'm so thankful to everyone who has shown interest in the concept of this fic and the little snippets I've posted. You've been more help than you know. Without that support, I don't think this would have ever gotten finished.

A special thanks to @numinousmysteries who kindly beta read for me and did a fantastic job. I wanted to make sure I got this right, and she was a great help!

And now I can't wait to share this with you all! New chapters posted daily!

[Read on AO3]

Chapter 1/34 - ink and paper

How long has he been thinking about this, she wonders. What exactly is he thinking? Her mind races, trying to reconcile this Mulder whose deepest desires are spilled out here in ink on worn and crinkled brochures with the one she’s spent nearly every day with these past several months.

She'd never have guessed...

Find out if adoption is right for you! Visit us at 8080 Meadowlark Ln. Annapolis, MD “A Home for Every Child!”

Scully stares down at the brochure on the desk. One of many, which are half buried underneath a pile of paperwork from their current case. Certain words and phrases are circled in pen, underlined, annotated in the margins in the familiar scrawl she knows almost better than her own.

stability – less travel? change in division? discuss with Scully

loving home – ask Frohike for real estate agent #

The word “family” is circled three times.

She swallows with some difficulty, finding—to her dismay—that her hands are shaking. Mulder will be arriving any second, and here she is, frozen like a statue.

She’d never have guessed…

“Morning, partner,” his voice calls out, and she jolts in surprise. She hears the door snick shut behind him, but she can’t bring herself to turn around. With deft fingers, she pushes the brochure back under the stack of papers where she found it, only the colorful corner of the page visible.

“Morning, Mulder,” she tries, clearing her throat. It comes out strained, but she hopes he doesn’t notice. She hides her trembling hands in her lap under the desk.

He looks down at her, half amused, half concerned. “You okay? You're not getting that stomach bug that's been going around, are you?”

“I'm fine,” she answers defensively, warning him to back off. She grabs a file off the desk in front of her with a little more force than necessary, plopping it open.

‘Okayyy,’ he mouths exaggeratedly, eyebrows raised. He sits down at his desk and leafs through some papers sitting on top, arranging them into neater stacks. When he uncovers the brochures, his eyes widen and he clears his throat, hurriedly covering them with other papers and trying to act natural.

Scully thinks about letting it go and pretending she doesn’t know what he’s hiding, but she knows she won’t be able to sleep until she finds out what’s been going on in that ridiculous head of his.

She idly flips to the next page of the file in her hand, displaying a confidence she doesn’t feel in the firm set of her shoulders

“Doing some light reading, Mulder?” she asks, attempting to look disinterested.

His head shoots up, a look of alarm on his face. For a second he thinks she might be talking about something else, that she couldn’t possibly know, but one look at her throws that theory right out the window. He glances back and forth between her and the papers on the desk a few times before dropping his shoulders in defeat.

“I’m sorry, Scully, you weren’t supposed to see those,” he says, shuffling all the brochures into a pile while carefully avoiding eye contact. “I was working here late last night. I must have forgotten to put them away.” As he speaks, he opens the top drawer of his desk and shoves them inside, then takes a seat at his desk. His nose is buried in a file before she can even respond.

She watches him now. He is a curiosity, determinedly feigning concentration on a case she knows he finds disinteresting and a waste of time.

Typical.

“You're really not going to say anything?” she asks, arms crossed in front of her.

That rankles him. “What do you want me to say?” he asks, indignation boiling below the surface.

She looks at him incredulously, the file in front of her all but forgotten.

“You're thinking of adoption? When were you planning to share this with me?”

He sighs and shakes his head, pleading silently with her. “It's too soon, Scully. I didn't think you'd want to hear it yet.”

“But you're looking into it because…”

“It's just been on my mind, that's all.”

She stares at him, brows furrowed.

“Since when?”

Since when… Images flash of a life he didn’t recognize. His sister, alive and grown up. A quiet suburban neighborhood. Cancer Man living just down the street. A wife and kids, but not the right ones. It was wrong, all of it was wrong.

“A hallucinatory trip into an alternate universe tends to make you think,” he answers simply.

He’s looking at her now, deadly serious despite the joking tone. She doesn’t respond. Can’t respond.

“I'm sorry, I didn't want to bring all this up,” he continues. “I know it's a sore spot for you.”

It takes her a moment to conjure words from her mouth, her lips moving but no sound coming out. “I just wasn't expecting…”

“For all I know, this isn't even something you'd want.”

What does she say to that? Is she interested?

“I– I'm not sure. I've never really considered it before.”

He waits, his eyes assessing her for some hidden meaning, some insight into her state of mind. He gets nothing. She’s totally blank.

“Well… what do you want?” He thought the question was innocuous enough, safer territory than straight up asking her if she wants to adopt, but apparently not.

She shuts her folder, abruptly standing and slinging her purse over her shoulder. “I'm going back to the crime scene,” she declares, changing the subject. “I want to see if there's anything we missed.”

“Scully…” he tries.

“Not now, Mulder.” Without even taking the time to put her coat on, she flees, leaving the door partially open in her rush to get away. Cursing under his breath, Mulder grabs his coat from its hook and hurries after her.

The elevator doors are almost all the way closed by the time he catches up, but in this case, he figures it’s worth the potential loss of a limb. He throws his hand between the closing gap in the metal doors, and it bounces back open to allow him entrance, to the extreme displeasure of one Dana Scully. He wisely stays silent in the elevator, stealing glances at her every few seconds out of the corner of his eye as they ascend. He can feel the frigid air coming off her in waves. It’s been a while since he’s seen her this annoyed with him, this eager to get away.

He won’t let her. Not this time. He’s learned from his mistakes.

In the parking garage, she's walking briskly, heels clicking on the concrete, and he has to pick up the pace to keep up with surprisingly agile little legs.

He didn’t want this confrontation. There was a reason he was keeping his research a secret. This is exactly what he was hoping to avoid, at least until the time was right to carefully drop some hints here and there. But now? There’s no carefully about it. No option to wait and let this blow over. There’s only one way out of this at this point, and unfortunately, that way is through.

He picks up the pace.

“You're the one who brought this up, Scully, I was perfectly happy throwing those brochures in my drawer and not saying a word.”

His voice echoes in the concrete parking structure, sounding harsh even to his own ears. As frustrated as he is with her, that isn’t his intent. He only wants to know what he can do to help her, how he can help her fulfill her dreams. He lets out a breath, and with it, releases his selfish frustration. She’s still walking away at a breakneck pace, and he doesn’t know how he can get her to stop and face this.

“If you want to talk about it, let's talk about it,” he says, pleading. “I can't help you if I don't know what you want. You want me to shut up, never mention the subject again?” he shouts, throwing his hands in the air, “Fine, just tell me. What do you want, Scully?”

“I just want to be a mom, okay?” she yells, whirling around to face him. Her words instantly silence him, and he watches stone-faced as tears spring in her eyes. “I see all these other moms out there and think… I could do that too. Why can’t I do that too?”

Well, mission accomplished. The truth is finally out there. Part of him feels bad for pushing her, but the other part knows that it was doing her no good to keep her feelings bottled up inside to deal with by herself. He reaches out a hand, intending to comfort her, his eyes softening in sympathy.

“You could. Scully, you’d be the best mom.”

She flinches away, stepping out of his reach. “You don’t know that, Mulder. I can’t even—even my body is even telling me no. Over and over.” She resumes her brisk walk to her car, and he thinks he sees her brush angrily at her face, no doubt wiping away the evidence of the stubborn tears that have managed to escape.

He rushes to get in front of her, walking backwards so he can keep her in his sight.

“When has that ever stopped you?” he asks. “You had cancer, and you kept fighting. You’re alive today because you refused to give up when your body quit on you. What about that?” He stops abruptly, forcing her to come to a halt before she crashes into him.

There’s no way out of this, is there? Her shoulders slump in defeat.

“You saved me, Mulder,” she admits quietly, shaking her head. “You’re the one who didn’t give up. Not me. It was only because you were with me that I survived.”

This time, when she goes to walk away, he stops her, placing a hand on her shoulder. The simple touch causes her to freeze, hardly breathing, and when he steps closer, she stays. His hands slide down her shoulders, holding her securely in place to ensure that his next words come through loud and clear.

“I’m gonna be with you here on this too, I promise.” His thumbs brush back and forth on the fabric of her sleeves, for his comfort or hers, she’s not sure. “You can still be a mother, Scully. I’ll help you.”

She shakes her head, her heart feeling like it has been ripped to shreds. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.” He gives her a little shake for emphasis. She still won’t look at him. “You’ve kept me alive all these years, how much harder could a baby be?”

That gets a breathy chuckle from her, and her head falls to her chest. Groaning with the agony of this burden on her heart, she stops fighting it and leans into him. Without hesitation, he wraps an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his embrace.

Her hand comes up to find purchase on his suit jacket, relishing in the comfort only he can provide. She’s past caring if anyone sees them like this here. Let them talk. They already do, anyway.

“Well, at least when you wake me up in the middle of the night, you’re not crying,” she speaks into his chest.

She feels him shrug, and can almost see the goofy smile she knows she put on his lips.

“Usually.”

She looks up at him with her chin on his sternum before taking a deep breath and pulling away.

“It's raining,” he says softly, glancing down at her and brushing a strand of hair out of her face. “We can go back to the crime scene later.” She nods, unsure what else to say. She allows herself to be led, his ever-present hand brushing against her back as they start toward the basement.

“Adoption,” Scully mutters to herself, shaking her head in disbelief. “I don’t know, Mulder. This—this is different than IVF. With that, all I was asking for was your…” her eyes dart around, looking anywhere but at him, “genetic material. This is something entirely different.”

He’s pleased she’s at least considering it, but she doesn’t get it at all, if that’s what she thinks.

“How? ‘Cause from where I’m standing, the process of getting a baby is a little different, but in the long run, the result is the same.”

She pauses, looking at him in confusion. “What– what are you saying?”

He runs a hand awkwardly through his hair, suddenly taking a unique interest in his shoes and the floor of the parking structure.

“Yeah, we probably should have talked about this before…”

“Talked about what?”

He sighs and guides her into a stairwell. It’s stuffy and poorly-lit with a flickering lightbulb, but here, there’s less of a chance they’ll be overheard.

“Look, Scully, I don’t know what you had in mind for my involvement beyond contributing to half the baby’s DNA when you first asked me to help you get pregnant,” he starts, fighting hard to meet her eyes instead of shying away. “But, I– I had hoped it would be a little more than ‘Say hi to Uncle Mulder,’ every couple of months.”

She blinks back at him, speechless.

“I’m sorry if that’s overstepping, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable with all this, I just—” He takes in a breath. “I guess I got to thinking of what it might be like to have a family again.” His bout of honesty is met with a blank stare, and his nervous smile drops. “I completely misread the situation, didn’t I?” he asks, self-loathing waiting on standby. “Got ahead of myself…”

She stops him by catching his coat sleeve. “No—uh. No, you didn’t.” She collects herself, willing herself to offer him some reassurance. Her fingers release the fabric of his coat, shifting her grasp instead to his hand. “I didn’t realize you felt that way.”

He glances down at where she holds tightly to him, and his lips curl into some semblance of a smile.

“I guess they might have had a point with all those communication seminars we’ve skipped, huh?”

She chuckles softly.

“I don’t think this is exactly what they had in mind…”

With a gentle tug, Mulder leads her down the stairs, committed to holding her hand as long as she’ll let him. The air is stagnant and silent, only the rhythmic echo of their shoes clicking on the concrete steps as they make their way to the bottom floor.

She’s thinking. What she knows now, it changes everything.

She had asked him to leave. Hid her grief from him as much as possible after her initial lapse into weakness when she came home with the news. She had almost kissed him, then, unsure of what else she had to live for. She knew she was hurting him by folding inward on herself in the weeks that followed, but that didn’t stop her from doing it. She was in a dark place, hardly able to see what was right in front of her. What she couldn’t see was that his hurt wasn’t just for her, born of some misguided sense of guilt or pity. It was his own, too.

“Mulder, all those months, after it failed—” There’s something like fear in her voice as she utters these words, or maybe regret.

“I was just worried about you.”

She squeezes his hand, feeling tears well in her eyes once more. “No, you were grieving like I was, and I didn’t notice. I pushed you away…”

“Dana…” He turns, a couple steps ahead of her, so for once it’s him who has to look up to meet her eyes. Her lip wobbles as she looks down at him, and he brushes his thumb tenderly over her knuckles. “You had to deal with it on your own, I understood that. I don’t blame you for anything.”

Those eyes. So open and honest and sad. She wonders how anyone could hurt him, could bear to break this man’s heart. How could she?

Choking back a sob, she falls into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding tight. His arms encircle her back, supporting her weight, and she feels herself being lifted as he goes up a step, closing the distance between them.

His hand climbs up to the back of her head, stroking her hair soothingly.

“I just wanted to be there for you,” he mumbles into her neck.

“You were, Mulder,” she gasps between bouts of tears, finding comfort in the feel of his soft hair between her fingers. “You’ve always been there.”

He pulls back, lifting his hands to cup her face and wiping away the tears he finds there with the pads of his thumbs.

“You don’t have to give an answer now,” he says, reassuring, “This is… a big commitment, I know, and I don’t want you to say yes just because I suggested it. I just wanted you to know it’s an option, and if you want to have a baby, I’m in. However you want to go about it, I’ll be as involved as you want. Just– let me know, anytime. Okay?”

He’s looking at her now, head ducked so those sad, puppy-dog eyes can get his message across.

She nods, holding tight to the wrists that so tenderly cup her face.

“Okay.”

~~~

Lovely tag list ♡: [if you would like to be added or removed, let me know!]

@today-in-fic @ao3feed-msr @agent-troi @angegova @baronessblixen @bby-got-books @calimanc @captainsolocide @cutemothman @danasculls @deathsbestgirl @edierone @enigmaticxbee @figureofdismay @frogsmulder @hippocampouts @invidiosa @monaiargancoconutsoy @mulderscully @oofubad @p34chi @primrose19 @randomfoggytiger @skelavender @skylarksong @slippinmickeys @stephy-gold @teenie-xf @the-redhead-in-a-dress @vincentsleftear @whovianderson

#msr #txf #x files #xf fanfic #mulder and scully #my fanfiction #fox mulder #dana scully #of our own making #ooom #msr adoption fic #adoption

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honeygrahambitch · 10 months

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I need a Hannibal x The X files crossover just so Hannibal can look at Scully and say "I feel like I have seen you before"

#hannigram #hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannibal nbc #hannibal series #hannibal fanfiction #the x files #dana scully

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mindibindi · 8 months

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⭐(Re)Visit a Classic XF Fic [7/7]⭐

So, as part of The X files 30th anniversary celebrations, I took it upon myself to highlight some of the AMAZING authors I first read in this fandom. They were a HUGE part of my experience of watching the show during it's original run. For shippers, the original run was a marathon in faith, frustration and endurance. We were judged, dismissed, ridiculed and gaslit throughout. But in fandom, we found solidarity, and in fanfic, we found solace. (AND we won in the end, so THERE).

As a retired author, I also have a vested interest in pleading the case of older writers. Fanfic archives are libraries, not social media sites. Don't just read whatever comes up most recently in your feed. Search. Discover. Explore. Experiment. Yes, there are some differences in older fanfic culture that are evident in these seven recs. Characters may be understood differently in their original context, narrative style may also differ (more 1st/2nd person address that even addresses the reader directly), there may also be less clear trigger warnings and fewer opportunities for feedback/community. I know we all love AO3 and are grateful for its good works. But don't forget that there are other avenues through which to explore fanfiction.

For this final rec, I want to return to the first author I rec-ed. I urge you to check out her other works. The characters are sometimes a little overwrought or OOC but even when they are, her stuff is tremendously messy, sexy and fun. Here Mulder and Scully are perfectly in character in a rather rauchy scenario. (If you're a babyphile and you don't know the politics at play then ask an auntyphile to fill you in). I will post links below for all the classic authors I have rec-ed, along with a few archives you may want to check out.

Rec #7:

MSR, obligatory stakeout fic

Prompted by current events, Mulder and Scully discuss oral sex

Some knowledge of the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky scandal required

READ MORE BY:

Rachel Anton (inc lots of Krycek content)

Beduini

Suzanne Schramm

Shalimar

Terma99

Narida Law

The search engine is not great but Gossamer IS still up and running:

X-Libris is a current archive that is doing a great job of recovering older works. You can suggest fics to be added to the site or even ask for a long lost fic to be tracked down!!

Smaller archives but also still up and running is Whispers of X and XFSM, both of which are good for different pairings, threesomes and a bit of kink, if that's your jam.

In particular, if you're into BDSM then you may want to check out Kristel St Johns "Aphrodisia" which does a beautiful job of putting Mulder and Scully in a v different, intense kind of physical relationship . The novel is unfinished but definitely still worth a read.

#txf #the x files #xf30th #fanfic #fanfiction #xf fanfic #xf fandom #ff recs #msr #mulder x scully #dana scully #fox mulder #sculder #scully x mulder #sorry other pairings didn't really get a look in here

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darkesttimelinestuff · 7 months

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"Do you recognize this?"

Day 7 of Fictober! How am I still doing this? Really proud that I've been able to write every day.

I had a lot of fun finding pictures for today's story.

Prompt #7 - "Do you recognize this?"

Find me on Ao3

Scully had turned her office upside down and inside out looking for her passport. She knew exactly where it was. Where she always kept it. Or, at least where it should have been.

Maybe Mulder had moved it. He sometimes tossed things aside without realizing it. That’s how she had lost her paycheck once, until it turned up at the bottom of some of Mulder’s papers. Neither was quite sure how it had happened, but from then on Scully was certain to keep important documents as far from Mulder’s reach as possible.

“Mulder, are you sure you didn’t touch the things in my desk?” she called across the room.

“I’m sure!” he shouted back defensively. “What business would I have going through your desk?”

“Because I always keep my passport right here,” she said, pointing to a drawer, “and I don’t see it. And if I can’t find it, we can’t go to Mexico tomorrow.”

Mulder stood and crossed the room to her desk. “Let me check,” he offered. “Two sets of eyes are better than one, right?”

She motioned with her hand, giving him permission to look.

“Be my guest, but I doubt you’ll find it. I’ve searched that desk twice,” she insisted, slumping in a nearby chair in frustration.

As Mulder bent over the desk in concentration, Scully checked out his ass. Even in his 50s he had killer buns!

“It’s so unlike you to misplace these things,” he was saying. “I’m a little disappoint…”

And then he stopped.

“What?” she asked, worried that maybe he found her passport but it was damaged or expired.

“Oh wow!” he exclaimed, standing up and examining something she couldn’t quite see.

It looked like a small paper and she suddenly became very self-conscious.

“What is it?” she asked, reaching for his hands, hoping to pry them open.

“Oh, it is the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen,” Mulder said, “and I can’t believe you never showed me!”

“Mulder, what is it?” she demanded, cursing her short stature.

“Do you recognize this?” He held up a photograph.

“Oh, my god,” she said, feeling both embarrassed and defensive about the picture. “I haven't thought about that in a very long time.”

The picture showed a young Dana Katherine Scully on a bed in a black lace push-up bra and panties. She hated that word, but there was no better term for it. They weren’t underwear; that was too plain. No, these were panties. The kind a partner used their teeth to slide down your legs.

This was Dana, not Scully, and she was bold and sensual, rather than pragmatic and sensible. Her smothering eyes said, “come fuck me,” and you couldn’t deny her anything.

“Well,” Mulder said, licking his lips, “this is fucking incredible.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes! I love this! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about this.”

“There are,” Scully said hesitantly, “more.”

“I need to see them,” he replied, almost too excited.

“Well, this was back when I first started at the F.B.I.,” she said, searching for the other pictures. “My friend suggested it and I don’t know what possessed me, but it seemed like a good idea.”

“Do you regret it?”

“No, not at all! I’m very proud of these pictures. But they’re more for me than anyone else. Ah! Here they are,” she said, handing him the rest of the photos.

The pictures showed a progression of Dana Scully shedding a man’s white button-up shirt, so that she was hugging her lace-clad breasts, posing suggestively on a bed, and, in the last one, looking right into the camera with nothing but a sheet wrapped around her.

“Well, I would be honored if they could also be for me.”

“They aren’t a secret. I just forgot about them,” she admitted. “So much has happened to us.”

“We’ve known each other, what, over twenty years,” Mulder said, “and you never thought to show me these?”

“Twenty-five years.”

“I’m really glad you lost your passport,” Mulder said, studying each and every photo.

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womanarana · 7 months

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Let me speak my truth

they’re father & son and no one can convince me otherwise.

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phantomstatistician · 1 year

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Fandom: The X-Files

Sample Size: 17,626 stories

Source: AO3

#fox mulder #dana scully #alex krycek #walter skinner #stella gibson #john doggett #monica reyes #the x-files #x-files #fanfiction #ao3 #statistics #phantom statistician #msr #mulder/scully #the mothership

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clo-thespin · 2 days

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uhhhhhhhhhhh

not that im underestimating dana katherine scully, or anything,

but i just read a fic where she justs fucking, yk, hauls him into a fucking bridal carry. that caught me way off guard but im here for it.

#the x files #fanfic #fanfiction #dana scully #fox mulder

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darkness-holds-eternal-light · 2 months

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Why is there so little 'Mulder protects/ saves Scully'-fanfiction, much less good ones!? I'm so tired of seeing pages upon pages of senseless smut-stories, I don't wanna read them! Why is there not pages upon pages of cool alternative episode stories or missing scenes!?!?? Why is the focus constantly on the snogging and the making out, this is exceedingly boring 90% of the time.

I can't understand why there aren't more people feeling the need to read something good about episodes like "The List" or "Detour" or "Gender Bender"??? There is so much space and potential to fill some missing scenes or take an interesting and different road plot-wise and explore that. I can't imagine I'm the only one who would love to read things like these. At least there are some nice Amish-Xfiles-fanfictions out there, that I personally like.

#personal #the x files #dana scully #fox mulder #fanfiction #Fandom #Amish #Detour #gender bender #The list #Missing scenes

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cecilysass · 2 months

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It’s Saturday morning here, so here’s a podfic version of @sisterspooky1013’s absolutely perfect angsty little Never Before.

Now when you go to the gym or grocery store or whatever you do, you can be listening to something dark and steamy, too.

Thank you, @audiofanficpod!

#xfiles fanfic #x files fanfic #the x files #fox mulder #x files #dana scully #xf fanfic #never again #fic recs #msr #audiofanficpod #audio fanfiction

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txf-fic-chicks-blog · 1 year

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The Anniversary Collection

Hi philes, it’s been a long time! Far too long if you ask us. Would you believe that 7 years ago today we posted our first recommendation? In celebration of our 7 year anniversary, we reached out to a few old friends and asked them to write a little something anniversary-themed for what we are calling, The Anniversary Collection. And hooboy did they come through! The collection will be updated throughout the day as more stories are added.

Thank you writers for collaborating, for joining forces with us to bring a solid list of new recommendations!

Thank you readers for still being here, for still showing us love even long after we stopped being active. We appreciate the messages of love and support over all of this time.

We love you all!

Patty and Kristin

Click here for The Anniversary Collection

#txf fic chicks #fic rec #txf fanfiction #msr fanfiction #mulder and scully #mulder and scully fanfiction #fox mulder #dana scully #the anniversary collection #txf fic chicks: the anniversary collection

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jodithann827 · 22 days

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One Night Stand (Revised)

9/13

This chapter is rated teen/ Ao3/ @today-in-fic

Ray’s Deli

Saturday, April 17 1993

*Ding Ding*

The ringing of the bell on the door announces their presence. Walking into the small deli, Emma lodged on one hip, Scully pauses, searching. She spots him, sitting across the room at a small corner table, out of the way of the hustle and bustle of the lunchtime rush. She steadily makes her way towards him and notices a small high chair in place of where a chair should be. Her heart melts, just a bit, realizing he purposefully sought out one for Emma to sit in. He stands as she approaches.

“Hey Scully,” he greets her, a sheepish grin on his face. She thinks it’s adorable, him being cautious, not fully sure how he should act around her now. She gently places Emma into the high chair before gathering some small toys to occupy her. She then focuses on herself, removing her jacket, a lightweight spring one that she places over the back of her chair.

“Hi Mulder, thanks for grabbing the high chair for her,” she offers him a wide smile. Smiling back, he nods, but his eyes wander to Emma, they are magnetized to her face. All he can do is stare. He saw her last night, but it’s as though he’s really and truly seeing her for the first time today. She’s enchanting, the most beautiful child he’s ever seen.

“Emmy, do you remember my friend from last night? Mulder? Can you say hi” Scully prompts the child, gently combing two fingers through her hair. Emma briefly looks up, acknowledging her mother said something to her but then is right back to her toys.

“She’s pretty shy around new people,” Scully explains, grabbing a menu to decide her order. It’s a tactic and she knows it. She frequents this deli enough to know the menu by heart, but having it close gives her something to do with her trembling hands. Mulder nods in recognition and they are quickly interrupted by a well-intentioned waitress, wanting to take their orders. Once the minutiae of ordering is out of the way, they stare at each other, a bit awkwardly, not knowing who should break the silence first.

“When’s her birthday?” Mulder finally asks, unable to handle the silence. He figures it a fairly easy question.

Scully takes a sip of water before answering. “February 15th. She was born in the middle of a blizzard. Some 6 inches of snow on the ground when I went to the hospital.”

“When did you find out?” he asks without elaborating, knowing she knows.

“About six weeks after. There was a stomach bug going around, so I thought I was sick. I was training at Quantico, pushing myself to the brink so I thought it was exhaustion on top of possibly having a bug. My friend Ellen, the one who I was at the bar with that evening, she’s the one who suggested I take a test. I was floored when it came back positive.”

“We were careful, Scully,” he blurts, then lowers his head, embarrassed if anyone overheard him. He looks ashamed, but she gives him a forgiving smile.

“I know Mulder, I was there,” she tells him softly. She realizes she'd been living the life for over two years, while he was just given the information yesterday. Understandably, he needs time to comprehend, to adjust. “Condoms aren’t one hundred percent effective.” She looks at him, looking at Emma, who had abandoned her toys in favor of the crayons and paper that were within her reach.

“Look, Mulder, I know we’re in a strange situation. It is weird and difficult, and awkward as hell. It’s a life that you may or may not have imagined yourself in. I just want you to know that I am ok. Emma is okay. It took a while for us to get to this place, but we are. We are happy and healthy and living our lives. We don’t need anything,” she hopes she doesn’t sound harsh, as it’s certainly not her intention. She wants him to understand that she doesn’t need anything from him.

“Can I ask you a question?” he asks.

“You just did,” she smiles, her attempts at lightening the mood fall slightly flat with the arrival of the waiter and their food. Scully busies herself tending to Emma, cutting her food, and moving the toys. She turns to look at Mulder. “Of course, Mulder, you can ask me anything.”

“If you knew how to get ahold of me, would you have?” He waits for her answer, which comes immediately as the words leave his mouth.

“I never would have kept anything from you. You know, even before I found out I was pregnant, the day after we met, I went through my apartment with a fine tooth comb, looking for anything, any clue, that would give a glimpse as to your identity. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find anything, and it’s not like I could use the FBI database to find you, though nothing would have come up, William,” she emphasizes with a slight laugh. “I wanted to tell you so badly, Mulder. That night we had, it was amazing and I tried to deny the connection, if I’m being honest, because it terrified me. Never in a million years did I expect any of this to happen, even though she’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.” She pauses, ruffling Emma’s hair. In turn, Emma provides a fistful of pancakes into Scully’s mouth, which makes Mulder bark out a surprised laugh. Emma, understanding she did something funny, attempts to do it again, much to Scully’s amusement.

After wiping her syrupy face, Scully continues. “Look, Mulder, when you sat in that hotel room in Oregon and disclosed everything you’d been through with Samantha, well it made me realize that I couldn’t dump this situation on you, not that Em is a situation, but you know what I mean. You have so much going on with your work and your search for the truth. You said it yourself; nothing else matters–”

“But Scully,” he interrupts. She holds a hand up, indicating she’s not finished. Her voice is steady and even when she continues.

“I love my job, but Emma is my world, my everything. She comes first in my life, no matter what. I live and breathe for her and we have a pretty good life going for us. She’s not lacking anything. My intent is not for you to feel like you need to step in or step up. I’m going to leave it up to you, but I don’t want you to feel pressure. If you want to be in her life as my friend and co-worker, that’s fine. If you want to be cool Uncle Mulder, that’s okay too. If you decide that you want to be a father to her, I won’t stop you. But the one thing I absolutely will not tolerate is having her hurt by significant people going in and out of her life,” she pauses to let him digest the information and after a moment passes, she adds, “I don’t want an answer from you right now. It’s a big decision and I want you to take some time to think about it.”

He hears Scully’s words, but can’t help his continued gaze at Emma. Deep in his heart, he knows he’s already falling in love with her. He acknowledges Scully’s words with a slight nod, not trusting his voice.

“It might change our working relationship or this friendship we seem to be developing, but I’m willing to try and figure it out if it’s something you want,” she tells him.

“Scully,” he says, finally finding his forgotten voice. She looks at him, her skeptical gaze searing into Mulder’s memory. He pushes forward with his request. “I’d like to spend the day with you ladies if that’s okay. Scully looks at Emma, who’s polished off most of her pancakes, at least the ones she didn’t feed to Scully, smiles, and nods.

Scully Residence

Saturday, April 17 1993

Exhaustion. He feels it from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. Every body part aches and he feels as though he could sleep a million hours. But his heart is full, bursting at the seams. He nurses a beer as he sinks further into Scully’s couch and thinks about the day he had. Once they’d finished lunch it was decided that an adventure to the local park was needed. At first, Mulder was hesitant. Mr. ‘willing to jump into any dangerous situation that crossed his path’ was nervous about playing with a small child. He’d sat back and watched Scully interact with her daughter; his daughter; their daughter. She’d pushed her on the swing, crawled up the plaything, down the slide, and chased her around the woodchips. He wasn’t sure who his eye was drawn to more, Emma or her mother. He would have been content to sit there all day, just watching them in their blissful happiness.

Out of the blue, Emma toddled up to him, grasped his pinky finger, which dwarfed her microscopic hand, and attempted to pull him to the swings. “Push,” she demanded with a giggle. Mulder had looked at Scully, looking for permission. The mega-wat smile on her face was all he needed. He lifted Emma, placed her on the rough material, and started pushing. He was overcome with joy, as well as astonishment. He couldn’t believe how light and little she was. She clapped her hands and squealed with the delight of a child on a summer day each time Mulder’s hand connected with her back. Every so often, he would turn to face Scully, needing assurance that he was still doing okay, and each time he was rewarded with a smile.

After their romp at the park, Mulder suggested a quest for ice cream, which delighted Emma. He wasn’t sure if more of the melted cone ended up in the little one’s stomach or on her face and clothing. The icing on the proverbial cake was when Emma decided to reenact feeding Scully and Scully ended up with melted chocolate ice cream on her face and in her hair, and though she tried to be annoyed, she laughed right along with Mulder and Emma. Without thinking, Mulder took a napkin and dapped at the sticky substance on her cheek. He couldn’t get over how natural the day had felt.

Squeals of delight brought him back to the present. Scully was bathing Emma, possibly unsuccessfully if the sounds coming from the bathroom were any indication. It sounded more like an exuberant playtime. What am I going to do, he thinks to himself while he waits for them to finish. Knowing he has a monumental decision to make, he takes another sip of beer. It’s a two-fold problem. No, problem isn’t the right term because any fool would be lucky to be in his shoes. But it was an issue he had to address, sooner rather than later. He’s a father, and nothing would change that. Emma had already captured his heart with her soft eyes, warm smile, and joyful attitude. If it was just about Emma, his choice would be easy. But who’s he kidding? None of this is easy. There’s Emma, and then there’s Scully. He’d be lying to himself if he admitted he didn’t think about that night often. How easily they communicated that night, how much fun they had, and how mindblowing the sex was. He was also really enjoying working with her on the X-files. She challenged him in ways he’d never been challenged before. She made him think and work for his theories. How sustainable would the partnership be? Would he be able to be a father to his child and just be a friend to her mother? There were so many questions racing through his mind.

“I started to put her down,” her voice startles him. He turns to see Scully, holding a pajama-clad Emma. “She keeps saying ‘Mudder’ so I’m thinking she wants to say goodnight to you.” Emma reaches out her arms to Mulder as Scully comes closer and Mulder’s arms automatically lift to receive her.

“Goodnight sweet Emma,” he nuzzles into her cheek.

“Night Mudder,” her sweet voice carries through the room. She yawns and snuggles into his chest, her eyelids heavy and her thumb going straight into her mouth.

“Do you want to put her to bed?” Scully asks in a hushed tone. He nods and stands, ever so carefully, a man holding the most precious gift, and follows Scully to Emma’s room. He places her, softly, into her crib. Instinctively, he kisses his fingers and then places them onto Emma’s cheek, before smoothing her hair out of her face. They carefully back out of the room and retreat to the front of Scully’s apartment, Scully, in search of a glass of wine, and Mulder, in search of his half-finished beer.

Once enveloped in the couch, Scully lets out a monstrous yawn after giving Mulder a shy and apologetic smile. “I love her so much, but she can be exhausting at times.” Mulder gives her a skeptical glance and redacts her statement. “Okay, all of the time.” Mulder nods approvingly.

They sit in silence for a while before Mulder praises her. “I don’t know how you do it, Scully. I barely survived the day.”

“You get used to it and it helps that she is a good girl. My family helped out a lot in the beginning. They still help a lot since I am working more now,” she explains.

“Will you…” he starts but trails off. He hesitates, watching her sip her wine.

Sensing his trepidation, she gives an encouraging nod. “What, Mulder? Ask me, it’s okay. I told you I would tell you anything.” Her voice is soft and reassuring.

“Would you feel comfortable enough to tell me about her birth? I don’t mean the details, you don’t have to share those, but maybe just the experience?” Scully is taken by surprise. The request is the furthest thing she thought he would ask. Smiling, she nods and takes his hand. Then she begins.

#dana scully #fox mulder #the x files fanfic #x files #au fanfiction #msr #msr fanfic #baby Emma #family day #how will this work

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