#danny: oh no! i killed a random clown :(

[petite-phthora]

So about that dinner…

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first... murder? - part 2]

<< Prev | Next >>

Part 1

Ao3

---

Danny lets out a long groan as he enters his apartment.

He’s dead tired— hehe, ‘dead’ tired— due to an exhausting schoolday and having been unable to fall back asleep last night after what happened.

So sure, he might have started having a panic attack when he got back to his apartment when what he had just done had finally fully sunken in.

And he might have spiraled even more, even going as far as to try and trap himself in a Fenton thermos, thinking he was back on the path to becoming Dan.

Luckily for him, a green sticky note, left by his favorite unnecessarily cryptic mentor, appeared.

It let him know that he is no more on the path to becoming Dan than prior to the incident and that the actions he had taken that night, while vexatious, were necessary for the betterment of the timeline.

Whatever that means.

By the time he had come to terms with his actions enough to stop spiraling and remember that he has school soon. He checked the time, noticing that he only had a few minutes left until his next class started.

Which meant he had to sprint to his classes and start the day off already tired and emotionally drained. He hadn’t even been able to at least get a coffee beforehand. And so he spent the rest of the day fighting to stay awake during his lessons, sporting eye bags big enough to carry the weight of his sins.

Danny glances at the space-themed clock on the wall that Jazz had gotten him as a housewarming gift. 6 pm. He should probably get started on dinner.

Deciding to go with something simple, as he simply does not have the energy for anything fancy right now, Danny opens the cupboard and grabs the first thing he sees: a box of mac n cheese. Danny rubs his eyes and squints at the box, trying to read the instructions when he gets interrupted by a knock.

…

On his window.

…

Danny turns around to see Red Hood at his window, outside of his 3rd-floor apartment. He pauses before shrugging it off. Stranger things have happened. He sets the box down and makes his way over to the window. He opens the window once he reaches it, only to come face to face with a bouquet of sweet peas, the colors ranging from white and pink to lavender.

Oh, those are his favorite.

He gingerly takes the flowers before looking over the top of the bouquet at the person who handed them to him. Ah, yes. The crime lord. Who had seen him commit murder.

Danny stares at him, debating on whether he should ask him what he’s doing here or thank him for the flowers. Red Hood speaks up before Danny can make a decision.

“So about that dinner… ” He trails off, tone laced with hope and a slight nervousness.

“Right.” Danny nods with understanding, despite not having a clue what Red Hood was talking about, his joke the night before having slipped from his mind.

“I’ve got the entire night planned out for us. First, we’ll have dinner at Pete’s. They recently rebuilt and they have this amazing cannoli, you have to try it sometime.

“And then after dinner, we’ll go to the Gotham Observatory—“

Danny, not even questioning how the crime lord found out where he lives and that he loves space, cuts him off in excitement.

“Wait! Isn’t that the one with the crystal powered telescope?”

Red Hood nods and holds out a hand to him expectantly.

Danny stares at the hand for a moment before shrugging, setting the flowers down on a table, and taking the offered hand. He lets Red Hood lead him out of his own window.

Once Red Hood has helped him down to the ground and led him to his motorcycle, it dawns on Danny he’s going on a date(?) with a known crime lord— or wasn’t it former crime lord now?

Well, who was Danny to refuse a trip to the observatory and some good cannoli?

Who knows, he might even get a new boyfriend out of it.

---

Red Hood takes his helmet off and sets it down on the table between them so he can eat.

Danny tries not to stare too much but damn, he’s handsome, even if he’s still wearing the mask.

Danny takes a bite of his food to try and distract himself, idly noting that ohhh, this is some good spaghetti. He'll have to try the cannoli if it's as good as their pasta.

Red Hood is the one to start the conversation.

“Hey, so, since we didn’t get to talk more last night, I still wanted to thank you for your service to the city”

“My what?”

“I’ve been wanting to kill that insane clown for years now.” Red Hood continues.

“And while I’m a little disappointed that I didn’t get to end his miserable existence myself, I’m so glad he’s finally gone. So, thank you” he says, looking Danny right in the eye with an earnest expression.

Feeling a mix of flustered at the heavy gaze that’s on him, and confused by the other’s words, Danny stammers out a bewildered “You’re… welcome?”

Red Hood nods at him before continuing.

“And you don’t have to worry about others finding out if you don’t want them to. I ain’t a snitch, and I’ll try to keep the Bats off your back the best I can.”

Danny gives him a nod in gratitude.

“Though honestly, I’d doubt you’d have to deal with much trouble even if people did know it was you who got rid of him.

“The Joker has done a lot of horrid shit and caused a lot of grief for Gotham over the years. He’s had it coming for a long time now, so don’t even feel too bad about it. It might even become a local holiday when his death comes out!”

However, something Red Hood had said stood out to Danny. He stiffens before blurting something out in a tone that sounded even more panicked than when he accidentally killed the clown.

“THAT CLOWN I PUNCHED WAS THE JOKER?!”

#dp x dc #dp x dc fic #dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc crossover #danny: oh no! i killed a random clown :( #red hood: yo dude thanks for killing the joker :) #danny: i killed the joker?! (:0 #red hood: *nodding* and the world is a better place for it #danny didn't even acknowledge just who it was he was punching #he just registered 'clown' and 'being kidnapped' and freaked #afterwards he was too focused on the fact that he forgot to reign in his ghost strength and so accidentally killed the kidnapper #also red hood: *seeing the space-themed living room and the nasa shirt the twink is wearing* thank god the info i gathered was accurate #oh and i did look up flower meanings and flower color meanings so do with that info what you will #it's nothing special or secret but just a nice little detail ig #dead on main #dead on main ship

[thebucketpail]

When You Accidentally Kill a Clown pt.4

Alright bestie you know the drill. Uh, this one's a bit longer than usual though. Enjoy?

Pt.1

To say Danny was having a bad day would be the understatement of the century. Well it wasn’t really a bad ‘day’ more like a terrible series of events that just kept getting worse. Oddly enough, though, this terrible horrible day did not start with killing the Joker, then promptly getting interrogated by a surprisingly cute serial killer/ crime boss/ vigilante. In fact it actually started seven hours earlier at around 4 o’clock in the afternoon. Danny’s roommate had practically kicked him out of the dorm so he could have ‘date night with his girlfriend’ but it was said in a way that made Danny nope out of there real fast.

‘It’s fine, I’ll just use this time to explore Gotham a bit,” he thought to himself. Turns out Gotham, with its incredibly high crime rate and massive amount of curses - seriously? How could one city be this cursed- has a lot of ghosts. Ghosts that seem to be very happy someone can see them. This would have been fine, Danny would have been happy to help, If they hadn’t swarmed him.

Mere moments after he had addressed a shade Danny had found themself in the middle of a mob, shades, imprints, spirits, etc, all vying for attention, help with something here, or just plain attention.

It took them 3 hours to lose the mob.

And it wasn’t even all of them, a few blob ghosts clung to him as he explored the piers, shades following at his heels, weaving in and out of shadows bringing general bad luck because of course, why not.

Danny just wanted a scoop of icecream? Sorry it fell on the floor. Oh look at that his shoes are untied, would be a shame if he- ouch that must have hurt. Just trying to sit on a bench and relax? Aww that's a cute seagull, here have some of Danny’s pretzel. Okay thats enough- ow what the fuck? Ack no stop! stop-!

So yeah, exploring the pier turned out to be not the most safe idea for all the strangest reasons. Danny had to leave before the shades did any real damage like throwing him into the bay, or splitting the boardwalk underneath him.

Danny had just lost yet another pack of attention seeking ghosts when he felt the eyes. It was the uncomfortable prickling that made the hair on his arms and neck stand on end. “Just find a place to get dinner, it’ll be fine," he thought, quickening his pace toward the batburger he had designated on a map he’d found at the pier.

Now what Danny didn’t know, being new to town and all, was that Park Row was not a place you should be walking by yourself, at night, with black hair and blue eyes. That was just asking for trouble, and oh boy trouble they got. Before a single thought could flash through their head, Danny had been pulled into an alley, a large figure pinning their hands behind their back. Danny twisted around, trying to gain purchase and maybe get a look at their attackers face, but stiffened as they spoke, low and gruff.

“Awww what’re you doing in crime alley all alone kiddie?” he crooned, “Don’t you know it's not safe?” Danny’s growing panic reached a peak as another figure melted out of the shadows of the dingy alley, “Boss, what do you think? He could be a Wayne." The ‘Boss’ leaned forward to inspect Illuminated by a nearby streetlight. Danny’s eyes blew wide at the painted white face, impossibly huge smile, puke green hair, and pristine purple suit in front of him.

He hardly heard him berate the goon

“This isn’t a Wayne you imbecile, it's just some random street rat” Hey

“But- he could be, he fits the bill,” the conversation drowned out as Danny stared, stock still. They could feel the ectoplasm in their blood pooling at their fingertips, the tingling sensation sending prickles down their spine.

The last thought that crossed their mind before a flash of green enveloped the alley was; ‘Fuck, I hate clowns.’

When the light died down they were free, the goon a few feet away on the ground, eyes wide in shock or horror, they couldn’t tell. Danny, eyes no doubt still glowing, followed his gaze to the crumpled purple mass at his feet. Oh shit.

“You- you- I’m getting out of here,” the goon shouted, pointing a shaking finger at him as he scrambled away. Danny just stared down at the clown in shock. Sure he’d fought a lot of dead people but ancients he’d never killed someone himself. Taking a deep breath he tried remembering those grounding tricks Jazz had taught him to ward off panic. He focused on his breathing, closing his eyes as the steady rhythm of his too slow heart beat in his ears. After a few moments he exhaled deeply, running a shaking hand through his hair as the other reached for his phone.

And, well, we know this part.

-------

It was almost 1 am by the time Hood got Danny back to their dorm. They had of course protested that they didn’t need the escort and it's all fine- because truly Danny had no intentions of returning to their dorm- but Hood had insisted, continuing the interrogation as they walked.

“Do you have any siblings”

“two”

“Where are you from?”

“illinois”

“What's your favorite color?”

“Green probably”

At the very least the questioning served to calm Danny’s nerves and distract them from the less-than-happy thoughts. There was also something about Hood that made Danny’s core pull in his chest. Aside from very obviously smelling like death- something he had chalked up to being a serial killer/ crime boss/ vigilante - the man kept making his ghost sense go off, but it always caught in his throat rather than escaping. Danny had almost choked the first time and it was starting to get annoying, it reminded him of being around Vlad. It piqued his interest regardless.

So when the noises coming through the door confirmed that; no, Danny should not go try entering his dorm and that he would definitely not be getting what little sleep his body could manage after the night’s events, he decided on some reconnaissance. Because if he wasn’t getting sleep, he would be at least getting answers for that weird feeling. He let invisibility wash over him and retraced his steps back to the building entrance. Hood was long gone but it didn’t matter. Danny soon took to the sky, staying low enough he wasn’t breathing in the dense clouds

of smog but still high enough to scan the streets from above the rooftops.

It felt amazing honestly. He hadn’t been able to fly since before he got to Gotham, and while it the air wasn’t as clean and the sky wasn’t a glowing blanket of stars like it was in Amity, but with the rush of wind, subtle glow of the street lights, and the soft din of night traffic, it still reminded him of home. In a way it was peaceful, if you discounted the ever present police sirens, occasional pop of gunfire, and general filthiness of the city.

As Danny wove through the street and alleys of Gotham he couldn’t help but to think about his hometown. He knew Amity would be protected of course. The GIW hadn’t been a threat since the Meta Human protection acts were passed, even though ghosts weren’t considered metas the investigation had been enough to disband the agency. His parents probably couldn't pose too much of a threat to any ghosts, especially with the portal being closed (he'd made Valerie promise to keep it shut, since she'd decided to stay in Amity), and even if someone from his rogues gallery managed to make it through, Red Huntress was more than capable to handle it.

Jazz had even managed to drill it into their head that Danny wasn’t responsible for the protection of Amity, as much as they thought they were. Being a hero didn’t make them happy, at least not in the way they were. Danny actually loved helping people, and fighting his rouges on occasion. But being Phantom was so stressful, the late nights, the missed school, the barely dodged calls to cps, it was all so much. So Danny had given up Phantom just in time to start senior year. Granted it was a little late to completely turn his academic career around, but he made an effort and now he’s studying Engineering at Gotham University on a near complete scholarship from the Wayne foundation. All of this though and Danny still felt an inkling of worry for his town, even if it was in capable hands. He was working on it though.

He knew back at the start of senior year that he wouldn’t be able to hang up Phantom forever, afterall he was a part of Danny that couldn’t be ignored (it would quite literally be detrimental to his health), that and the fact that he existed on the precipice of life and death meant he would always have some ghost or another vying for his attention. One of his regulars wanting a fight, someone new deciding they want to test his mettle, or just a lower powered ghost wanting some help, and as long as it didn’t affect his schedule too much or get him too high on the Bats radar Danny would be happy to oblige.

So he didn’t mind it much when, after he’d started losing hope in finding Hood - Damn that guy can disappear- he felt his ghost sense go off. The sharp air escaped his lungs in a sudden gasp, never failing to stop his chest for a moment. Danny felt the ice melt in his mouth as he scanned the streets for whomever had set it off. He couldn’t see anything but something- someone- was pulling at his core, beckoning him to a nearby rooftop.

There wasn't anything special about this particular building, just an old beat down 24/7 convenience store. Danny flew around it a few times before landing gently on the roof’s edge. They didn't know what they should be looking for as the area seemed to be entirely empty. But his confusion proved to be short lived when the surrounding shadows seemingly condensed in front of them. The dim and flickering neon sign to their left somehow got dimmer and more flickery, and what little moonlight that had wormed its way through the thick clouds was all but swallowed by the swirling mass of shadow.

The massive shadow was towering almost three feet over Danny by the time it began taking shape. And it wasn’t quite humanoid, but the flowing gown and veil reminded them of a mourning widow. Her eye glowed a flickering grey, and her skin was made of the same shadow as her gown. She was beautiful, Danny’s breath caught in their throat. They didn’t know why, but they dropped to one knee, bowing their head to the shadowy figure.

The woman chuckled, a sweet chirping sound that echoed and reverberated around the rooftop. When she spoke, her voice was just more than a whisper, yet sweet and full, even behind that recognisable Jersey accent, “Rise child.” Danny obeyed. “You are powerful, young one, I can see it in you.” Her eyes flickered to Danny’s chest, hovering just where his core sat. “You are the ghost child from Amity, yes? I’ve heard much about you and your exploits. I must say, not many could go toe to toe with Pariah Dark and come out victorious.”

Danny’s tongue felt heavy in his mouth as he nodded, “It was difficult, but I had help.”

The woman hummed, “Even still. Is it true he still exists? In the forever sleep, you have not yet consumed his core?”

“I- no I have not,” Danny said. This was another of those things Danny had decided to ignore. A few months after they had locked Pariah away the Observants had tracked him down at school, resulting in a panicked request for the bathroom and a whole week of strife. Apparently, according to ghost politics, Danny had become heir to the crown of the ghost king. All that belonged to Pariah was now Danny’s, won in single combat. And if the news that he would become the new King of The Infinite Realms wasn’t enough, he had also been informed that to take the throne he would have to consume Pariah’s core, just as he had done when he won the throne from his predecessor.

This news had overloaded Danny’s brain and he had spent the past three years pointedly ignoring that fact about his half life. He’d get around to it… eventually. Luckily three years wasn’t much time for immortal floating eyeballs so it hadn’t become much of an issue. But he’d run out of time and would have to face the music at some point.

“But it is true that Pariah still exists, in eternal slumber for the time being.” He continued, squirming under the woman’s scrutinous gaze, “Ah, but if you don’t mind me asking, who are you?”

This elicited another set of giggles from the woman, err, girl? She had shrunk to the size of a young girl in a knee length black dress, a feathered beret sitting on a curly bob of dark hair. Her giggles grew, consuming the rooftop in the joyous sound. The laughing ceased as the young girl tilted her head to the side, just a little too far for a human. A grin spread wide across her face and something sparked in her eyes.

“I am Lady Gotham, princling, I thought that was obvious…” She trailed off for a moment then continued with renewed enthusiasm, “ I heard that you are a protector of your hometown, do you intend to assist my knights while you are here?”

Lady Gotham, Danny had heard of her. The supposed amalgamation of everything that made the city what it was. A combination of the pain and suffering as well as the fierce stubbornness and love of those who called the city home. Being a spirit she wasn’t seen often in the Ghost Zone, but those who passed through the veil brought stories of their protectoress. A Lady fierce, vindictive and unforgiving to those she considered an enemy. A being that collected curses like postage stamps. But also one who cared deeply for her city, and even more so for her knights who cared for her just as much.

Danny felt humbled in her presence.

He ducked his head, sheepish as he answered her, “My apologies my Lady, I have long since hung up my cape to pursue the remainder of my life. But should you call for my help I will not hesitate to do all in my power to aid you, or your knights.”

Lady Gotham hummed, pleased, “I appreciate the promise I will keep it in mind. After all, just tonight you have already helped my city so much. I want you to know that no matter how it may weigh on you; what you did was good. By taking his life you saved countless more, accident or no. And for that I thank you.” Stunned, Danny nodded. “I am afraid I must depart now, holding form isn’t difficult but I must say it makes it harder to spread my shadows. I wish you the best princling.” The girl before him smiled then melted -like actually melted- into a pool of shadow at Danny’s feet. As the cloud dissipated, the faint light of the convenience store returned, casting a dim staticky glow.

Danny stood mulling over her words for a few moments before laying down on the roof’s edge. The silence was punctuated only by the faint buzzing of electricity emitted from the neon sign, but it did little to distract him from the thoughts he’s been running from all night.

The thought that he had actually killed someone.

What Lady Gotham hada said was probably true, the Joker's death was a good riddance, he had killed tens-of-thousands, and probably tens-of-thousands more. Taking him out of the equation was a good thing. But that didn’t change the fact that Danny had killed him. Danny had never killed a person before, not directly at least. He wasn’t deaf to the notion that some people may have died during one of his ghost fights, in fact he was painfully aware of each person he had failed to save. But he had never been at direct fault for a murder until now. It shook him to the bones.

Did this make him a murderer?

He stewed in these thoughts for hours, only being pulled from them by an inkling of sunlight breaking through the towering buildings hitting his eyes. Groaning, he sat up, painfully aware of how tired he was. “Probably not getting any sleep though” He could feel the bags under his eyes growing with the lack of sleep. However he did manage to get off the roof and transform back into his living form, ‘need coffee’ He thought blearily as he began making his way down the street, maybe he’d find a shop or something.

What he did not expect was to be pulled into an alley for the second time that night (Morning? Oh what does it matter he’s getting mugged).

Their assailant, no more than two inches shorter than Danny with an unkempt beard and suspiciously stained shirt, had them pinned to the wall, a knife at their throat.

“Empty your pockets!” he shouted, digging the knife further against their skin. Danny suppressed a yawn, they really did not have enough energy to deal with this. Luckily they didn’t have to. The rumbling of a motorcycle filled the air as a blur of red and black turned into the alley. The mugger barely had time to shout “Hey!” before Red Hood decked him in the face.

“Twice in eight hours?” He asked, the grin almost audible in his voice as Hood tied up the man, “I know you’re not from here, but that’s still gotta be some kind of record,” Honestly Danny would have been more upset if he wasn’t so tired, but even so;

“Wee it’s not like I’m Trying to get attacked. I just wanted some fucking coffee,” he ground out.

“At four in the morning?”

“It’s almost six,” Danny muttered after sneaking a quick glimpse at his watch - a black digital one with little blob ghosts on it, a gift from Dani. “Besides it’s not like I was planning on sleeping anytime soon,” he continued. That same weird feeling from earlier tugged at his core during the silence that followed. Of there being a ghost nearby, but his cold gasp getting caught in his throat before escaping. Danny could almost feel the thrum of another core, but there was something muffling it. It made Danny wrinkle his nose.

Despite his wish to investigate the fact of Hood’s weird probably-a-core, Danny also really wanted to get out of this awkward situation. But hey it seemed like Hood was stalking him anyway so this probably wouldn’t be his only chance.

“I should probably be going now,” they said, moving to exist the grimy alley, stepping over the unconscious form of his would-be-mugger-#2. “Don’t worry, I’ll be a bit more careful this time,” They threw over their shoulder with a grin before leaving.

A weight settled on their shoulder as they walked away. Ancients this night was eventful. Hopefully their roommate was finally finished with ‘date night’ enough to allow Danny a couple hours of sleep. But first; coffee.

+++++

Humans I am so sorry for this chapter (because yes it's a chapter). I was just going to write another little installment from Danny’s Pov and then ended up with over 3k words which is like adding up the word counts of all three other chapters. But i think it turned out good so win some lose some. Anyway, all the exposition is out of the way so we’ll be going back to silly goofy fun times now. Also sorry about the kind-of angst, I didn’t mean to, it just appeared.

What were your thoughts on Lady Gotham? I’m fairly happy with how I wrote her, she will definitely be returning

No I will not add you to the tag list, I don't mean to be mean but I just down have the brain power for that <3

Subscrib to the Ao3

Pt 5

#When You Accidentally Kill a Clown #bucket writes things #danny phantom #dp x dc #danny fenton #dc #dp x dc crossover #jason todd #Obligatory Lady Gotham Cameo #exposition woAH #Man Danny's just ahd a bad day huh #like losing his icecream? getting attacked by a seagull? poor guy #threw out the GiW befoe rhe plot cause thats just angst in the making and im trying not to wnable bad habits #dead on main

[starry-bi-sky]

random facts for my Dead On Main childhood friends au:

Danny's ghost form changed when he was with Jason in the ghost zone, and then reverted back to how it was after he died when Jason disappeared.

Danny as a human has blue-green eyes. As in, his eyes are blue with the lower half being green, and they bleed into one another at the middle. This is entirely because of Danny being a halfa, its meant to represent how he's no longer completely human.

In contrast, Jason's eyes are teal with hints of green. This is because he was revived. One half crawled out of the grave, and the other never left.

If you stare at Danny's eyes for too long, it sometimes looks like the green and blue are swirling together but never mixing, like water and oil. People agree that its very beautiful, but very unsettling.

Danny's lichtenberg figures as a ghost are black, and when he cries his tears float and disappear when they fall off his face. The tears have a thick, almost gel-like substance to them if you touch it.

Danny's ghost form is pretty unsettling - he fully embraced the fact that he died and in turn strongly shows it through his ghost form, plus the additional effect his grief has on his form. He's not who you would think of when you're told "we have a ghost hero protecting the city". he looks like someone the hero would fight. Danny usually keeps his goggles on over his face for this reason.

The black space on his suit, naturally, has stars on them. they shift and move as he does, and sometimes there are nebulae that swirl into view.

His lair in the ghost zone is an observatory, but like one of those fantasy looking ones that you'd see in some kind of solarpunk ghibli movie. it's huge on the inside, with a long hallway with polaroids strung along the walls, and doors leading into different rooms. The main room is the 'observe floor' with a large domed ceiling and furniture littered around near the walls, and more polaroids. Danny can press a button on the side wall to 'open' the dome ceiling and reveal a night sky above his head that he can float up into. some of these stars are danny's memories that play when you touch them. danny can move the night sky around like an interactive screen, and find new stars. This observatory has a hammock.

Danny's got his 'Kill The Clown' corkboard in his lair as well, it mirrors out into his apartment.

Oh. The hole in his heart. You can stick your hand into it. Or try to. Danny's gonna shove you back immediately though, because it feels weird. And also it's gonna leave a Substance on your hand that's gonna be really hard to take off, stains afterward, and has the consistency of semi-thick ink and oil. His tears are made of the same stuff.

Danny's Ghost Forms below (without his mad scientist goggles bc i forgot to add. them) Left is after he reunites with Jason (both times), and the Right is pre-reunion (both times).

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dpdc #childhood friends au #cfau #making danny's ghost form scary >>>> #i thought about just. describing danny's ghost form but i felt too cheesy so i figured i'd just draw it instead. made a paragraph #and then grabbed my notebook instead #left be like: emo rock band right be like: horror movie monster #they both have claws tho. #tumblr nerfed the quality but danny's eyes on the left have blue in the center that fades outwards which i thought was neat #danny's scars on the left being green and thus harder to see on his skin is an on purpose decision #the earring danny is wearing on the left is supposed to be star shaped. the matching earring is half its length and is being worn by jason. #dead on main

[inthememetime]

Danny in Gotham City except instead of being adopted by the Batclan, Harley Quinn calls dibs and shows the secretly halfa-dead kid the ropes of living in Gotham.

.

Oh. My. Ancients

Ok I hope you're ready to be tagged in random dp fic idead I have bc you have the best ones.

Danny adopted by Harley

They make so many puns Damien wants to murder them both and cry

The Joker hates him because he's actually funny

Can you say pranks? The number of pranks these two would pull would be just amazing. That's half the fic. The jokes and pranks

FOUND FAMILY FOUND FAMILY FOUND-

Danny brings ghost friends home, they're super weird and creepy, but Harley just wants to hang out and find out how Ember gets her hair to look like that

They bond over beating Spectra's ass, bc you cannot tell me Dr. Harleen Quinzel would tolerate that fake evil psychiatrist in HER city

Harley starts giving ghosts legit therapy

Danny is living with a crazy person but his mental health has never been better

Harley and Jazz bonding

Harley sometimes uses Danny as storage space- just puts her hand in Phantom's chest and pulls out a gun or something and whoever she was about to fight faints

If Danny is a young Ghost King he kills the Joker, or lets the ghosts of the people he's killed out on him

Actually, depending on what the Joker does, he prob will anyway because Harley is His Family

Vlad shows up Back On His Bullshit (tm), and he expects to fight Phantom. He does NOT expect the absolute chaos that is Harley Quinn protecting her bby

Give me clown woman kicking that incel SOB's ass all the way back to Wisconsin

Danny gets kidnapped, the kidnappers think he's a Wayne and they'll get money, but Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, and Catwoman show up

Danny exploring the crime-ridden underbelly of Gotham with the same joy of exploring the GZ, learning its rules to the point when he finally meets one of the Batfam, they think he was born there bc he Has The Vibes

Danny and Harley help people by doing crime

Bonus

Half-dead bros- you can't tell me, Danny and Jason wouldn't get along, and do a live stream where Jason, Harley, Danny, and Poison Ivy (in costume) paint eachother's nails and gripe

Danny paints Poison Ivy's nails because she can't poison him when he's Phantom

Danny heps Jason get ahold of the ectoplasm affecting him and Jason unlocks cool powers

#danny phantom #inthememetime #danny phantom au #harley quinn #dp x dc #the vibes #ask answered #chaos clown woman and chaos ghost boi solidarity #u givin me IDEAS

[otakuminami]

And with that season 4 of Young Justice comes to a close

Spoilers

Ok first and foremost

Fucking called it!

Dick faking his death and slowing his heartbeat (taught by Batman)

Also Bart!!!

Anyways onto the fight scene,

I thought it was pretty good. I liked how everyone was fighting and seemed in a way dynamic (is that the word I’m looking for?) What I’m trying to say it flowed great

My heart when Conner remembered his family from the scene when he and Clark talked back in season 1 but also him meeting the Kent’s and him being brought in and then Conner meeting Jonny (also conformation that it IS Jonathan Samuel Kent (the Jon from Super Sons) and not some random son of Superman named Jon (there are many of those)

I love that Dick told M’gann to go off on these clowns and unleash her demigoddess

And she did

I love that we got to see her go off but like also keep in control. Like you can tell that she is at full force but isn’t loosing control like she did when she was younger.

I am so glad M’comm didn’t kill Danny. I was worried there for a second. Then he started fighting and he got to fight M’comm in his mind himself.

I love that Bart after being held prisoner for days?weeks? He’s running around and it just made me smile

Till he got hit and Artemis called him kid

I love the Artemis and Dick team up!

Also when Conner didn’t “recognize Kaldur as family” I was like yeah it the beard

When M’comm fell into the boom tube to the phantom zone and M’gann said that he was happy that Conner died was just hit me so hard.

Rocket coming in hot

I was not expecting that! It was great!

I love how Metron is just like so chaotic and like so petty.

And I completely forgot about the smudge stain on the wall in the cave. I just wrote it off like that’s just a red herring or something. But the fact that it was Lor Zod made me so happy(?) because the story came like full circle kinda.

The sunrise at the end of the fight signaling a new day (a new *fill in the blank*) was pretty.

So the Villains got their own planets

M’comm got Durla which coincidently is Chameleon Boy’s home planet. They’re both shapeshifters but what is this mean in the grand scheme of things? Like we can assume that the A’ashenn become the race Chameleon Boy is. So should we assume that maybe the G’arrunn and the B’lahdenn become another race too? I heard about the theory that Saturn Girl is a descendent of M’gann so maybe?

Then we got Daxxam and Ursa. I don’t know what she’s going to do? But I do know and was thinking of this since he was first introduced, Lor Zod is Chris Kent and he is an adopted son of Lois and Clark. So that might still happen.

I loved the little moment we got with the Kent’s breaking the news about Conner to Jon and the video message of the wedding.

Everyone is at the wedding!

M’gann’s parents are here! With her sister! I love the conclusion we got with her sister saying that she’s decided to change her name back to M’ree M’orzz. I wished we got to see her more.

Gar talked to Perdita and I liked it. Perdita saying that she still loved Gar and forgives him but has moved on and so should he. It was a nice moment. While I would love for them to get back together, I also love that even though you love a person you can move on from someone and take yourself out of a relationship after a bad situation. Plus it didn’t make it seem like she is required to get back together with him just because he apologizes. Gar’s not a bad person and she knows that. But she has moved on and I think they’ll be friends.

I wonder if the break up is setting up Raven? Possible but maybe not

Also we now know that the future is back on and Conner still has his role as doing something very importaint.

Any guesses?

You know how I said everyone was at the wedding well…

ICICLE JR IS HERE!!!!!

Oh my god! I’m SO glad he made it in this season! He’s crying too!

He also caught the bouquet. (Artemis’s (new) new love interest?!?)

Lucas making the classic wedding jokes

Jon running to give them their rings was so cute!!!

The speeches they gave about their love for one another was good!

Is Black Canary hinting at Heroes in Crisis?!?

Didn’t everyone hated that?!?

Cause if I remember correctly when it came out all of you were yelling

Anyways I’m not complete sure my memory is right on that but what I remember clearly is that WALLY WEST appears in that!

Also Wally kills people

But WALLY WEST is in that ALIVE

Also why is this Black Canary’s reasoning? Like that is some people’s issues but that isn’t really the problem with someone like Gar. Gar was grieving. He was grieving poorly but grieving. He needed to be with people and to talk to them. Going to a place even if it would be more peaceful is not a guaranteed solution nor is it really a solution. It could help the solution but it doesn’t really matter at the end of the day where you get help or only matters if and what type of help you get. The reason why they have a lot of them have mental health issues is because they’re heroes. You need to find a solution to that. Not worry about how many.

That after credits scene

For one finally got an update of Mary. I’m happy they didn’t leave us hanging till next season (is there a next season?!?)

But the bigger deal is

Kara is here and I have so many questions like why was she in the Phantom Zone? Did Vandal Savage specifically chose her because he knew of her connection? Or was it a coincidence? Was it Klarion who picked her out?

Anyways overall a great season finale! It closed the some plots that had to be close this season but also hinted at more to come in the next.

I think this season was pretty good. Yes there were some problems but like at this point most shows do. While I do believe we can hope for better and expect better, I do think that this was pretty good (considering that they worked on this during the shut down I think). The arcs ranged from pretty good to great. I only really have a problem with two of the arcs. Well ones a problem and ones a question.

The problem I have with one of the arcs is Rocket’s. I just felt like it was really focused on the characters. Like the plot there was mostly set up and like everything else felt kinda well background. I did like Razer and the bugs and Rocket’s son, but I felt like it wasn’t really focused on any characters really and I know that probably sounds crazy because it probably is. Does anyone get what I’m trying to say? Like I can’t fully remember what happened besides Razer, Tomar-Re dying, Forager becoming a Green Lantern, Jay being great, Amistad being amazing, the legion and Bart and like that’s it. It just felt weaker than the others.

The question is how does Artemis’s fit into this? Like everyone had call backs to their arcs but like Artemis had none. It’s like hers could be taken away and it wouldn’t affect the plot. And that makes me mad because I loved her part. But I felt like there had to be something there and the only thing is the ending with for one Ra’s doing what Dinah talked about in a way and that ending scene with Lady Shiva and Talia looking evil which means they’re future villains. I guess? Unknown. This has me worried about what they have in store for Jason and Damian. What are your thoughts on how her arc fits?

See you guys next season!

#young justice phantoms #young justice season 4 #conner kent #m’gann m’orzz #dick grayson #artemis crock #jon kent #lor zod #garfield logan #m’comm m’orzz #danny chase #zantanna zatara #kaldur #clark kent #ursa zod #dru zod #kara zor el #supermartian #icicle jr

[hip-pouch]

Random hcs about the dbd killers (most are about their preference in physical appearance):

--------------------------------------------------------

The Trapper || Evan MacMillan: I don't think he would have a preference in physical appearance, but he would like a feminine, traditional kind of s/o that looks at least presentable(and obedience would be a must) (i'm sorry but he comes from the 19xx era where the guy is the head figure of the house and all that traditional family shit)

The Wraith || Philip Ojomo: ok so hear me out, i know literally 99,99% of the fandom portrays him as a shy, awkward boi because oh he's invisible but imo i think he's more miserable than shy/reserved. Like he went through all that trauma, had his face melted while trying to kill one of the killing crews, had been tricked into killing so many people without him even knowing, then he snapped because of the horrible things he was made to do, killed his boss etc. I think he cloaks because he doesn't identify as the monster he was made to be. So, if he ever got the luck of finding an s/o, I think that in his misery he is way past the point of caring abt physical appearance, so his s/o could be a brown spot on a banana and he would still love them to no end. (pls just tell him he is not a monster and that he's pretty he needs it )

The Hillbilly || Max Thompson Jr. : Another traumatised boy, he screams of body positivity. As long as his s/o loves him and treats him like a normal human being he will see them as the most beautiful thing in the world.

The Nurse || Sally Smithson: she literally just wanted a domestic life filled with love ( and children!!) so she doesn't care about physical appearance that much.

The Shape || Michael Myers: He doesn't care at all about physical appearance. Like preference? What is that ? He lived most of his life locked away in a white room like ?? He loves his s/o because they keep his inner demons at bay and treat him like an actual human being, not "pure evil". The fact that they have a body is just a bonus ;)).

The Hag || Lisa Sherwood: Again, another miserable soul, she just wants to be loved and taken care of (plus I hc that she is self conscious af) so ber s/o could be anything (idk if that makes sense, like she is super acceptant of anything her s/o wants to be/ look)

The Doctor || Herman Carter: jail. This man is not mentally capable of love bye

The Huntress || Anna: yeah she loves little gi- Ok fr now, she would like someone small and fragile so she could take care of them. Doesn't care about the other aspects.

The Cannibal || Bubba Sawyer: Another one that screams of body positivity. He just wants an s/o to make him feel safe and loved (major bonus points if his s/o is stronk).

The Nightmare || Freddy Krueger: jail.

The Pig || Amanda Young: I don't think she's capable of love either. (sorry)

The Clown || Jeffrey Hawk: jail.

The Spirit || Rin Yamaoka: I feel like she would like someone strong, to make her feel safe (bonus points if they're taller too).

The Legion || Frank Morrison (because he's the only one that has somewhat of a lore): He is a horny teen, he would want his s/o to be hot and sexy. H o w e v e r, if we're talking about the friends to lovers trope (+ massive slow burn because of his trust issues), if his (future) s/o understands him and helps him deal with his sad past, if they assure him that they would never abandon him like his ex families did, lo and behold the ultimate simp frank. Wouldn't care about their looks, would do anything for them.

The Plague || Adiris: It says in her lore (besides her being pretty asf) that she was ashamed of her appearance after she got the infection, so i think she wouldn't care about her s/o's looks pretty much (she would consider them beautiful for having a healthy body in general) (but please call her beautiful she is beautiful she deserves and needs to hear that).

The Ghostface || Danny Johnson: His add on is a bottle of perfume, so you can imagine that he would want his s/o to be at least as good looking as him (he would still consider himself the prettier one, because narcissistic bitch). Again, h o w e v e r, if we go with the friends to lovers trope, where his s/o doesn't judge his little hobby and perhaps even finds it cool, he wouldn't mind the looks (he would pamper his s/o himself, even paint their nails because I KNOW THAT FUCKER WEARS BLACK NAIL POLISH AND IS EVEN GOOD AT APPLYING IT).

The Demogorgon: "The creature is untouched by any sense of compassion or restraint". So yeah.

The Oni || Kazan Yamaoka: He would deff want a pretty, feminine, obedient s/o (to stroke his strong man ego).

The Executioner || Pyramid Head (daddy-): He would keep s/o around to keep him company, not for the looks. MAJOR points if his s/o is more on the corpolent side tho, because he is a hulk of a man(?) and yeah big hands need a place to rest on you know ;))

The Trickster || Ji-Woon Hak: Twink.

#dbd #dead by daylight #random hcs i thought of while taking a bath #dbd x reader #dbd killers #michael myers #ghostface #bubba sawyer #pyramid head #the huntress #the trapper #the wraith #hillbilly #the legion #frank morrison #the plague #idfk #this is imo so if you don't agree it's k #the oni #the hag #headcannons #this is my first ever post abt them so yeah have mercy #bad at english

[oliviayamaoka]

The Distraction (Danny Johnson / Jed Olsen / Ghostface x Reader)

Y/N encounters Ghostface, a snarky and creepy silent killer. However, he isn’t as silent as he is made out to be when you hit him with your toolbox in defense. To stall time for your survival and the progression of other generators, you decide to humor him and distract him for a long amount of time for the others.

Possible Warning: Sexual tension, slight blood, slight violence, and Danny having perverted thoughts (up to your interpretation on what he’s thinking)

You slowly vaulted over a wooden structure within Autohaven Wreckers. The green atmosphere felt very chilling and eerie, you didn’t like doing your trials in this realm. Your eyes averted to an untouched generator. Thank the Entity you didn’t hear a chainsaw revving or the menacing lullaby sung by the Huntress. Y/N kneeled down and began to work on the generator, putting their toolbox to the side. Who knew you’d become a mechanic of some sort within the Fog. 

“Shit.” You mumble as you cut your arm slightly on something within it. For a moment you had considered using your toolbox but it was better to just save it for another time.

Y/N sighed and pulled down a lever before reattaching some wires. The generators always confused you. Not in a way where you didn’t know how to fix them but how the hell did they power up the exit gates? Oh well, it didn’t matter at that point. You were forced to do this by a literal god. 

You suddenly gasped when you felt a firm grip pry you away from your generator. It must’ve been the killer. Y/N aggressively fought back and wiggled with desperate grunts and yells. You somehow managed to escape his grip, how the hell didn’t you hear him? You shoved him away but he grabbed your wrist tightly.

“Let go!” You yelled, hitting him as hard as you could since he seemed to have dropped his knife. You recognized the killer as Ghostface. He didn’t seem to think that you’d be able to get away the first time. Y/N’s eyes widened in shock and curiosity when she heard him darkly chuckle in amusement

“You’re like that bastard King.” He said to you as you both struggled. David was always verbal when ”fighting” the killers. He grunted as you kicked at his thigh, desperately trying to rip your arm away from him. 

“Since when did you start talking?” You asked him, humoring him in pure panic. Ghostface was a bit thrown off that you even responded instead of screaming at the top of your lungs. In fact, he doesn’t recall anybody saying anything back to him other than David King or Yui Kimura saying something snarky after a successful vault.

“You’d be surprised--agh!” He grunted as you smashed your toolbox into his face as hard as you could. This definitely threw him off since it hurt just as much as the pallet stuns did. Was that even allowed? He adjusted his mask to keep it from falling off. His chin sure as hell hurt.

“Sorry.” Y/N said to him almost immediately, stopping for a moment. You weren’t sure why you felt sorry for the bastard in that moment. You once did something similar with the Trapper when he accidentally stepped in his own trap, there was a moment of silence between the two of you as you both stared.

“What do you mean sorry?!” He asked you angrily but he didn’t lunge or hit you. He seemed just as confused and caught up in the moment as you. You threw your arms up in defense, it was a psychological thing.

“It was instinctual! What was I supposed to do, let you stab and hook me?” You said to him as he stood up. Ghostface was much taller up close, it was strange.

“Well, yeah. You’re only supposed to fucken wiggle or try get off of the hook. It said those were the rules.” He argued as you turned your head to the side in disbelief at his behavior. 

“Since when did you start abiding by the rules? Aren’t you supposed to be a serial killer or something?” Y/N questioned him.

“Uhhh, since that thing started torturing the other people who got trapped here. You think I wanna look like that fuckface with the chainsaw?” He said aggressively but you didn’t seem to back down at all. He was referring to the Hillbilly.

“He already looked like that, dumbass.” You say to him as he paused.

“Oh.” Ghostface responded before shaking his head to knock some sense into himself and began to try grab your wrist again. he tugged you closer when he did rather aggressively.

“What the fuck am I doing arguing with my prey.” He muttered as you pulled away again, taking a few steps back.

Ghostface, from your observation, was easily confused when talking to people. You figured it was normal since, well, when the hell did a psycho like him have time to talk to people? You recalled a conversation with Ace when you were upset due to one of your first trials. He had been previously married and referred to himself as a ladykiller, humoring the idea of trying to flirt with the Huntress. He was a wise dude despite being on the run from guys he owed money to, overall he made a good replacement father figure for a moment.

Clearly it was a bad idea but maybe instead of getting hooked or hurt, you could do what Ace jokingly suggested. It’d also be a funny story to tell some of your friends when this trial was over but it was scary thinking this could make him even more mad or aggressive. Oh, well, anything not to go through the pain again.

“Has anybody ever told you you’re handsome?” You asked, cringing at yourself for such a poor choice of wording.

“You don’t even know how I look.” He said, somewhat annoyed but loosened his grip slightly as you put your hand softly over his.

“That doesn’t matter. I feel like we could get to know eachother. I’m Y/N, by the way.” You say to him as he stopped completely, baffled even.

“What?” He asked in confusion.

“Think about it, if we have a nice little chat then I’m sure the Entity wouldn’t mind. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve been curious about your artwork. Or I guess you can say photography. I’m sure you have a collection.” You said.

“Right, like a puny thing like you would even understand what I do.” Ghostface said to you, crossing his arms. Admittedly, he seemed to slowly forget his objective when he began to even talk to you. Even he didn’t know why he kept responding to you.

“A puny thing like me? Oh, please. I’ve seen my fair share of blood and gore on the internet. I bet your photos wouldn’t even make me budge.” Y/N said.

“Really, now? I have a collection of photos of you and your little friends.” He said, getting rather defensive. Such a fragile ego, you thought.

“Oh, so you take photos of me?” You asked, pulling him closer. He seemed to freeze up when he was inches away from your face. Despite wearing the mask, he felt vulnerable. Why? You were just a survivor meant to be slaughtered.

“I don’t mean it like that.” He said firmly, although, it wouldn’t be a bad idea since you were rather attractive to him. Both physically and personality-wise. The thought amused him but he shook his head slightly.

“Shame. I could’ve offered you a special photoshoot.” Y/N said, enjoying getting into character at this point since all the generators should be done soon.

“A what?” He said, finally flustered. You couldn’t blame him. A survivor was practically seducing him. A part of him wanted to give in since he already wasted so much time just talking to you. There were, of course, other needs he needed satisfied. The idea of him showing no mercy on you got him hot and bothered.

“A special photoshoot. Just me and you, uhh... Ghostface?” You said to him, resting your eyes. 

“It’s Danny--I mean, Jed.” He said to you. You raised your eyebrows in surprise that he even told you his name, you could even swear your cheeks warmed up for a second. No. no, you thought. Do not get distracted.

“Jed, huh? Sounds easy to yell.” You responded with a smirk. 

At this point, Ghostface decided he definitely wanted you. He quickly gave into his desire since he had his own desires and fantasies he wanted to put at ease. Plus, a survivor like you giving yourself to him? It sounded too good to be true in his own dirty, messed up standards. He silently smirked behind his mask. Hooking and killing wasn’t the only way he wanted to hurt you now. He saw this as a way to properly get back at you for hitting him with your toolbox.

What did you get yourself into, he thought menacingly. Unbeknownst to him, you were already one step ahead of him. Ghostface wrapped his hands around your waist and brought you closer to him. Y/N froze for a moment but brushed her knee against his upper thigh in a rather suggestive manner. She didn’t think it would work yet it did.

“So, when do you want to do this, baby?” He asked you in a lower tone. You felt your cheeks flush and your heartrate beginning to increase but you had to stand your ground for a few more seconds. You looked away for a moment with an unimpressed stare.

“You’re such a gentlemen.” You said sarcastically, pushing away from him by his chest. The feeling of his leather and fabric was firm, you kinda liked that.

“Now what?” He asked in frustration. Your eyes averted towards the tools spread out on the ground from the box. Y/N came up with an idea.

“Pick my stuff up for me and maybe we can do something... quick.” You said, tugging your shirt downwards suggestively. 

“Okay, okay. Fine.” Ghostface responded to you sarcastically.

He turned to look at the tools on the ground. Kneeling down, he set the toolbox upright and began to put the tools back. Ghostface found it interesting how such small tools can play a big part in fixing the generators faster. He’d be pissed off if some random fucker like the Clown came and busted it up after long, hard work. You watched him actually do as you asked. It was somewhat heartwarming. No, actually, it wasn’t. You didn’t wanna catch feelings for him.

Y/N looked around, inhaling quietly. He seemed focused on picking up the smaller tools. You weren’t sure when to make your move. Suddenly, a horn blasted. A feeling of relief washed through your body. His head popped up as you quickly sprinted away from him. Ghostface whipped his head around. 

“Shit, fuck...!” He muttered. It was at this point where he realized what you did. He felt angry at himself for giving into his urges instead of just hooking you and killing you and your little friends. Ghostface smashed your toolbox against the generator in anger.

Standing up, he put his knife away. Despite being furious, he still found you attractive and confident for even trying that with him. It fueled a different urge within him. Oh, he would definitely make you pay. Not from the hooks, of course. He smirked at the idea of it and began to walk off to the other door once he began to calm down.

Y/N, he thought. 

#ghostface #ghostface x reader #danny johnson #jed olsen #jed olsen x reader #danny johnson x reader #dead by daylight fanfic #dead by daylight #dead by daylight x reader #dbd x reader

[riotatthemovies]

Zombie Hunter 2013 blllarrrgg

Zombie Crapper uhh I mean Hunter 2013

In a sea of direct to Walmart's cheap dvd rack of low budget horror and sci fi flicks, that put Danny Trejo on the cover, comes Zombie Hunter. 

Generic title and generic plot. 

Straight off I will say this is a little bit more polished and better paced then maybe of the soon to be in the dollar bin American mass produced B movies out there. 

Stop me if you heard this plot before... Fiver o clock shadow rocking dude in a leather jacket drives the dessert roads of California in his beat up sports car with a shot gun at his side and a smoke in his mouth. Its after the zombie apocalypse and he is killing zombies for kicks and has no expectations to see any real people.  Oddly he comes across a far of random survivors hiding out while being cared for by a priest played by Danny Trejo. Danny is just cheap to get and he is a recognisable name so if you get him you can put his mug and name on the cover of your movie to get it actually released in retail stores. Also he does not have to be in your movie much.. which as misleading as some versions of this movies cover he for sure is not in this movie much at all.  He does get to tear his priest clothes off and fight a mutant cgi zombie that looks like a real rip off of many of the creatures you would see in Resident Evil but thats about it.  Alot of the designs in this movie look cool but are completely just Resident Evil creatures. The mutants as well as the crazy people who have gone mad from eating zombie tainted meat (thats how we get one chainsaw wielding killer Clown which is kind of fun for a moment)

Also (hang on let me rant here for a moment) when ever there is a monster or zombie with a lot of effects, make up or CGI the camera flashed purple or blue and gets shaking as well as adds that awful fake grindhouse film scratching. This is not an esteque anyone wants... it was funny in the movie Grindhouse but the joke is over. We all know you are just hiding and distracting us from your cheap effects. I know I can speak for many people when i say.. show the shit effects in normal lighting, we will have our giggle and move past it. Cause trust me we are gonna laugh at the shit acting and over done stereotypes way more anyway and you cant blur that with a blue light camera filter.  

Seriously the mysterious wandering hero talks in the worst Solid Snake voice that makes me just want to slap him silly with a dead fish. Our hero wandered in a leather jacket that looks like Sting (the singer not the wrestler) crossed with a strung out Constantine does not have the presence to walk around talking in an anime tough guy voice with out it being a complete joke.  This movie is not taking itself that seriously but it is also not as funny as that either to merit his joke voice.   Annnyways the hero called .. wait for it.. Hunter... sigh ... reluctantly teams up with the rag tag group of survivors after Danny Trejo is killed by mutant super claw monsters. Oh yeah spoiler Danny eats it early. They “team” try to get to a hidden away airplane so they can make a new go of it on a near by island... ya like I said zombie slash mad maxish stereotype.. move along. 

We get two girls , one the obviously slutty one and the other the innocent “smart one”. In terrible stereotype the innocent smart one gets laid by the hero and right away lets her hair down starts to look sexy and now is tough enough to defend her self to... well thats what quick sex with a strange will do to you. Then we get the cliche slutty girl that is basically there to be annoying but just leads to that american movie myth that in the dessert there will always be a big boobed blonde in a small t shirt and cowboy boots. It’s these kind of stereotypes that I find entertaining but when you stop and write about it you realise that zombie or nuclear apocalypses near desserts tend to be very white ... odd isn’t it? 

We get in this movie....

Stereotype anti heros...

Cameo of Danny Trejo so there is at least one mexican still in California..

One mad max style car that crashes early cause it probably didn't work anyhow..

Many zombies that can have there heads cut off with simply the use of a knife..

Many cgi mutants...

Cleavage...

A killer clown with a chainsaw, like I mentioned.

And 2 different moments where we watch people pee (cause that is obviously entertainment for your money).

All rolling up in an ending you have seen many times before packed in with songs by bands that sound like they should be called “3 doors theory of a nickleback calling”  The kind of feeling that makes you realise that a Nevada truck stop in an apocalypse or right now would be no different what so ever.

I have seen many cheapie zombie movies in the direct to dvd or streaming section of the last few years and shockingly this is one of the better ones... listen what I am saying is this genre is fucking shit. I watch these movies so you don’t have to. You’re welcome.  Now watch me walk away as I light a smoke while I walk away from a gas station... throws my match over my shoulder.. mutters.. “who gives a fuck anyways” as the match touches a puddle of gasoline and BOOM everything explodes behind me as I keep watching in slow motion while popping the collar of my jacket and putting on some old sunglasses..... hear that guitar ..... fuck ya....     ... ...   fart

#Zomebie hunter #bad movies #4 life #danny trejo #sells a movie #if thats all you got

[theabominableblogger]

Rewatching “Batman Returns”

*zips up coat*  Welp, it’s snowy out.  It snows a lot in this movie.  Might as well watch it cause Netflix put all the other Burton-Schumacher movies up. 

*in best Han Solo voice*  I got a bad feeling about this....

[Mr. Cobblepot stands in front of the window as his wife is giving birth in another room] *in best Pee Wee Herman voice*  PEE WEE?!?  What are you doing here?!?

YOU LOCKED THE BABY [Oswald] IN A CAGE?!?

I feel like this movie gets even more Tim Burton-y as it goes on.

*jams along to the Batman theme*

Yeah no way.  That baby’s dead.  End of movie.

Stan Winston!

So... the Batman opens with the creation of the Penguin. 

*nods*

DC Comics *ding*

[Directed by Tim Burton] Yes, we know!

Matte painting!

“Man or Myth:  Or is he?”  Bum bum BUUUUUMMMMMM!!

Hey Alfred!

Is that Felix the Cat as the logo for Shreck?

Oh my Godddd, Christopher Walken....

“Frankly, I [Shreck] cringe, Mr. Mayor.”  It needs more cowbell!

You can tell they tried to make Michelle Pfeiffer really frumpy before she put on the Catsuit

The dude who plays Schreck’s son is trying his darn best to replicate Christopher Walken’s accent

“Remind me [Shreck] to take it out on what’s-her-name.”  You had her [Selina] as your secretary for God knows how long and you don’t know her name?

Ominous red lighting...

*The clown henchmen run out of the giant present*  I SAW DOUG JONES!

I totally forgot that @actordougjones was in this movie!  Holy crap!

Ohhhh that’s an awesome shot!

I wanna be that one random clown henchman just casually walking down the street on stilts and completely ignoring everything that’s going on.

“That was very brief.  Just like all the men in my life.”

Of course there’s a graveyard in this movie.

Wait, isn’t that one sculpture the one thing that pops up in Beetlejuice?

Gotta admit, the makeup on Danny Devito looks awesome

“You [Shreck] and I [Oswald] are similar.”  You both have hair.

“What, is that [umbrella] supposed to hypnotize me [Shreck]?”  I literally just had that same thought.

Wait so if Penguin doesn’t know his human name, how do his henchmen address him?  Do they just call him “Penguin-Man” all the time?

“Honey, I’m home!  Oh, I forgot- I’m not married.”  Gotta hammer it in that she’s single

I want that black cat like now

Why does Selina have a pair of tomatoes in the window?

WHY WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR CAT MILK?!?

Why would you [Selina] even open the protected files?

Worst.  Secretary.  Ever.

Green screen!

Yep, nope, she [Selina] dead.  There should a puddle of blood around her.

Here’s a fun fact:  cats will eat your dead body.  No joke.

Those tights are covered in runs.  Selina, were you even thinking while getting dressed this morning?

So is she [Shreck] just repeating the actions that she did before Shreck tried to kill her.

“... a candlelight staff meeting for two.”  Holy crap, how did I never catch that?

WHY ARE YOU SHREDDING THE STUFFED ANIMALS?!?  ESPECIALLY THE SOCK MONKEY?!?

Though in all seriousness, if she did shred them in the sink like this, she’d only get like half of one properly shredded.  Pretty sure sink shredders don’t work like that.

Where did the random black spray paint come from?

Is that wire?

“I don’t know about you, Ms. Kitty, but I feel so much yummier.”  Who wrote the script for this?

Hi Doug Jones!

So the Penguin is on this rising duck mechanism but then he’s able to pop fully out of the sewer in the sidewalk and step out?  Did his seat have a rising platform as well?

For a Batman movie, I’m 35 minutes in, and there hasn’t been a lot of Batman.

If Penguin doesn’t know his birth name, how the heck is he gonna find his parents in the public records?

Snowwww... all the snow...

I’m digging the top hat Penguin has

Are those black roses Penguin’s putting on his parents’ grave?  Of course they are.

“I was their number one son, and they treated me like number two...”  Oh my God...

So how is Selina able to beat up dudes when she even says that this is her first time doing that?

Can’t Bruce just sit next to Shreck or something so that he doesn’t have to toss the report across the table?

Freaking Bruce’s mouth stays open the entire time Selina is in the room.  Close it before a fly goes in!

So if Shreck were “the people’s man,” shouldn’t he have let Oswald finish eating the raw fish upstairs in his den before escorting him down to the surprise?

And why is Oswald’s hideout above a public workplace?

Why would you elect Oswald mayor anyway?  Why would Gotham ever think that this was a good idea in the first place?!?

“I’d like to fill her void.”  Noooooooooooooooo......

Did Shreck just reference the Reichstag fire?  Buddy, no.....

Doggie!

Gotham looks so much smaller than it did in the first movie

*Batman programs the Batarang to hit all four people*  Whaaaattt?

Most iconic shot of the whole movie.

Where’d she get the whip?

*Catwoman starts jump roping with the whip*  I mean... same though.

Wilhelm Scream!

He [Batman] just killed that dude!

Why does the store have a functioning microwave out in the first place?  At night time?

“Meow.”  Fun story:  so my dad and my sister I were watching this on FX and my dad refused to leave the hotel for supper until after this scene because he thought this part was hilarious.

It’s [the Penguin’s umbrella] actually a helicopter... 

*instant Star Wars Rebels flashbacks*

Matte painting!

Is that actually eyeshadow Michael Keaton’s wearing underneath the cowl?

*actually turns off the volume when Oswald flirts with one of the younger voters*

“Just the pussy I’ve been looking for.”  What was the age demographic for this movie again?

*Catwoman starts giving herself a bath*  Eewwwww....

I want Selina’s coat like now.

“Who are you [Oswald]?”  The dude’s running for mayor, and you don’t know him?

“Sickos don’t scare me.  At least they’re committed.”  “Well.. yeah...”  I mean...

“I will relay the message.”  Alfred is the best wingman imaginable.

Gotta get out the rubber cowl...

So how the heck was Penguin able to break into the Batmobile if he hadn’t even seen it before?

*The Ice Princess falls right on top of the fuse box*  Yeah, no, she’s dead.

*quotes the mistletoe quote*

[Catwoman literally licks Batman across the mouth]  *barely audible* Whyyyyy.....

“Let’s consummate this fiendish union.”  Nooooooo....

Now that I think about it, this movie is basically 70% one-liners and sexual innuendos

Oh, now the Batmobile detects a foreign object?

There’s a poster in the crowd that says “Oswald Means Order”

“Security?  Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave?”  He’s [Bruce] got a point there, Alfred.

[Frequency Jammed]  Is it raspberry?

When the heck did Batman record Oswald during the Batmobile takeover?

OK guys, who brought the lettuce?  Is there always a random farmer’s market who always hangs out at important speeches for that reason only?

“Why is there always someone who brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?!?”  Exactly!

“Did you miss me?”  Andrew Scott said it better.

“I am not a human being!  I am an animal!”  Why you gotta try and reference “The Elephant Man” like that?

Did I just hear the opening notes for “Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer?

I like the dude in the background that has the the Leaning Tower of Pisa as part of his mask

Mask of the Red Death in the background!  And on a staircase nonetheless!

*sings* WHY SO SILENT, GOOD MONSIEURS....

I want Selina’s dress.  I don’t care that it’s probably gonna show off my scoliosis but that’s a super nice dress.

Batman even has his own customized stationary?

“Many of you won’t be coming back.”  Some of you may die, but it’s a sacrifice... I am willing to make!

*jams out to the Batman theme once again*

Fun fact:  they used actual penguins for this scene when they’re running around with firecrackers on their backs.  But not actual firecrackers because hello, what’s wrong with you?

“Estimated casualties 100,000 people.”  I think the most we’ve ever seen in this movie concerning the townspeople is like 50 or something.

Random question:  how come we never see Penguin actually swim?

*The duck boat thing drives up the stairs*  Would that even be possible?

Oh, so Batman comes out of the crash totally fine?  Dude, your cowl is freaking rubber!

*Penguins sets off the firecrackers attached to the penguins*  WHY?!?!?  YOU KNEW THAT THEY WERE STANDING LIKE TWENTY FEET AWAY FROM YOU!

*The Arctic World sign collapses*  No, not the polar bear!

*Bruce tears off the main part of his cowl* 

So how does the whole actual nine lives left?  Selina got shot in the shoulder and side, so those aren’t kill shots.  So technically, she still has four lives left instead of two.

*Bruce finds Shreck’s electrocuted corpse*  Wow, “Mars Attacks” looks horrible, you guys.

I’m pretty sure Oswald’s just spitting up green goo or something because that’s definitely not blood.

“I need a cold drink of ice water.”  Those are terrible dying words

Netflix just captioned the mourning penguin noises as “Awk Awk”

Aaawww the cat!

Why do you have the front passenger window open, Alfred?  Bruce is gonna be freezing sitting in the back.

*Catwoman looks up toward the Batsignal*  There ya go

#batman returns #the blogger reacts #Michael Keaton #batman #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #catwoman #selina kyle #michelle pfeiffer #christopher walken #Tim Burton #oswald copplepot #the penguin #Danny Devito #Stan Winston #Doug Jones

[thebucketpail]

When You Accidentally Kill a Clown pt. 6

Hey guys, I know part 5 was only yesterday but I was bored and crave validation so here's part 6! Enjoy

Pt 1. Pt. 5

A shiver went down Danny’s spine at the same moment a gasp of cold air caught in their throat for probably the twelfth time that day. Sighing, they went back to scanning the library shelf for whatever book they needed (A biography of some old dead writer or something). And honestly, if Hood just asked them whatever he wanted to know, they would happily tell him, if only to stop almost choking every twenty minutes.

But evidently, Hood was a coward, as he did not come talk to Danny.

So Danny continued scanning the shelves for the book, ‘at this point it would probably be faster to just track down and talk to the actual dead guy’ they thought moments before finally spotting the crisp unbroken spine, ‘well that’s promising’ Danny reached to take the book form the shelf at the same time another hand reached for the same thing.

Danny flinched back as the other person’s hand landed on theirs, and glanced over to find an absolute tank of a person. Towering a little less than a foot over them, the man had short cropped black hair, dazzling blue-green eyes and a jaw so sharp it could cut steel. There was no doubt in their mind that this was an absolutely gorgeous human which is probably what fueled the heat rising in their cheeks.

Their gaze snapped away from the man and back to the shelf where their hands were still intertwined over the book. Quickly they drew away, shoving their hands in their pockets and hunching their shoulders.

“Oh, s-sorry did you need that?” they stammered whilst mentally groaning at their own embarrassing behavior.

A flash of something passed behind the guy’s eyes before a small smile tugged at his lips, “Oh, no this was just going to be some light reading,” He said, referring to the inch and a half thick book about some random dead author, that was now in his hands, “here, you can have it,” he held it out to Danny who just looked at it and rocked back on their heels, trying to seem nonchalant.

“No, no it’s alright I'll just find anot-” it was at this moment that Danny lost their balance and fell backwards. ‘How? Why?’ they thought shutting their eyes as they prepared to hit the floor, ‘worst possible time what the fuck.’However the impact never came.

Confused, and silently praying they didn’t accidentally tap into their ghostly floating, Danny opened their eyes. Only to find the man, with the book now on the floor, and both arms wrapped around their waist, a silent look of worry in his eyes. If Danny wasn’t already blushing they certainly were now.

“Umm, hi. I’m Danny,” They said, staring into the man’s electric eyes. They managed to squirm one arm from where it was pinned to their side (Ancients, this guy had muscles), and held out their hand for the other guy to shake.

The guy chuckled before shifting to take Danny’s hand. “Jason,” he smirked, “Nice to meet you.”

They didn’t move for what was probably too much time, instead they just looked at each other, each scanning the other’s face. Through the pounding in their ears Danny could barely make out the muffled thrum of a half-formed ghost core. ‘Seriously? How many half formed ghosts does Gotham have running around her streets?’ It wasn’t until Danny broke eye contact that Jason finally set them down and retrieved the book.

This time Danny took it when offered, mumbling a quiet thank you as the redness in their cheeks died down to more of a pinkish color. Ancients, they were glad they only blushed green as Phantom. The silence dragged on.

“So how about that weather?” Jason asked.

Danny tried to focus on anything other than how close they were still standing, or the muffled hum they could still hear emanating from Jason’s chest. Maybe the ghost sense from earlier had been from this guy and not Red Hood. So instead they peered over to the large window across the room.

“It’s- weather-y,” they winced, ‘what does that even mean.’ But somehow that managed to get a laugh out of the man so maybe that was a win?

He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off.

“Jason!” a redheaded woman wheeled down the aisle, making a beeline for Jason who was suddenly looking rather skittish. “B’s on the phone, he wants to talk to you.” she said, holding out said phone.

“How’d he know I’m here?” he asked, eyes narrowing.

The red head let out a huff and glared at him with a look that could only read as ‘seriously?’ “Look I tried holding him off as long as I could but he’s really insistent,” her eyes flickered over to Danny for a second, “Who’s this?” She asked.

Jason pulled his gaze away from the phone, still in the woman's hand, to look between the two of them. “Oh, Babs, this is Danny,” he said proudly. ‘Why proudly?’ Nonetheless, Danny reached out their hand to take Babs’. Her brows scrunched together for a moment before falling into something like realization. She looked at Jason, seemingly asking a question. Their silent conversation lasted a minute before she seemed to get the answer she was looking for.

“Do you need to check that out?” Babs asked, gesturing at their book.

“Huh? Oh yeah,” Babs nodded once before shoving her phone into Jason’s hand and turning around, waving a gesture like ‘follow me.’

Danny started after her but stopped when Jason grabbed their arm. Amidst Danny’s confused sputtering, he produced a black marker and wrote something on their arm.

“Call me,” he said with a wink, before turning to leave, pulling the phone to his ear and apparently getting an earful from the person on the other end.

Danny stared, frozen, after him. ‘Damn, that’s an ass,’ they thought, blush rising in their cheeks once more.

“Danny you coming?” Babs shouted

“Yeah, be right there,” They called back. They took one moment to look down at their arm, and sure enough, in bold, black, surprisingly neat handwriting, was Jason’s number. Danny felt butterflies float about in their stomach as they drifted to the front desk.

+++++++

Om my goodness!!! It's Jason! Woooo!

Yeah I hoped you liked that.

Also updates twice in two days? More likely than you think. This is what you get when I have three days left in school and nothing to do during classes. I may even start working on the next part during shop class.

As always, I hope you enjoyed it. I love reblogs and comments and I read all of them so tell me what you think! I crave interaction. Have a day besties.

Ao3 pt.7

#danny phantom #dp x dc #danny fenton #dc #jason todd #barbara gordan #dead on main #when you accidentally kill a clown #bucket writes things #dp x dc crossover #omygod Danny got Jason's number #what is he planning? #and how many gothamites are running around with half formed cores #that seems like an issue that may need to be resolved #its probably fine though #who cares? not danny. hes too busy looking at Jasons ass #it is a nice ass though #batman