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looniecartooni · 2 years

Conversation

Tricia: Oh my- these pillars are starting to look very old. Dear!

Sheril: Is something the matter my beautiful, lovely, gorgeous wife whom I love very, very much?

Tricia: Oh- you're so sweet. I was walking around the mansion, and I noticed that this pillar was looking kind of cracked.

Sheril: *falls to the ground holding half of his face in agony*

Tricia: I'm wondering if we should get it repla- OH DEAR!

Road: *suddenly walking into the room* Mommy- is everything alright?

Tricia: I- I don't know! I was just showing your father this pillar and he fell to the floor!

Road: *eyes flash and she grabs her face, falling backwards in agony*

Sheril: *in increasing agony*

Tricia: OH NO!!!!

Wisely: Mum? Is everything alright?

Tricia: Oh dear- Wisely, contact a doctor! Or Earl Millenium... Quick!

Wisely: *putting his hand to his forehead* Oh my... Papa! Sister! are you alright?

Tricia: I wonder if it has something to do with this-

Wisely: *under his breath* Please don't say it...

Tricia: ...Pillar!

Wisely: Dang it! *falling to the floor in agony* My head!!!

Sheril: *in debilitating agony* What is happening?!

Tricia: *in an extra panic* Oh OH!!!

Road: *trying to fight the Noah breaking out* Ack... no... we'll... explain it... later.

Tricia: What?!

Wisely: Just... whatever you do... don't talk about the... the...

Tricia: The what?! *looks at the cracking column* The pillar?!

Sheril, Road, and Wisely: AAAAAGH!!!

Tyki: *coming in the room* Is everything alright? I thought I heard screaming.

Road: Tyki no!!!

Wisely: Run!!! Save yourself!!!

Sheril: Tricia- don't say anything!!! Please!!!

Tyki: Don't say anything about what?!

Tricia: I- I don't... Go get help!

Tyki: Okay-okay- hang on. I'll be right back. Everyone just stay calm. Tricia, maybe you should go get some rest. Say- does anyone else see the cracks in the-

Sheril, Road, and Wisely: NOOOOO!!!!!

#d gray man #dgm #dgm noah #sheril kamelot #road kamelot #wisely kamelot #tricia kamelot

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chaoticace2005 · 11 months

Text

DGM: Noah Competency Analysis

It is 2 am and I have work at 6:30 am and am making the amazing decision to stay up and analyze these bastards because my friend got me into this series and now it has taken over my life (thanks Koala.)

For the Noah, many seem to be pretty bad at their jobs: from the "kill the generals" arc where everyone failed to whatever the hell was up with the ark arc to Wisely/Tyki LOSING the Earl. So, being the autistic individual I am who recently took a stats class, I decided to analyze all the Noah in some kind of mathematical way to look at just how incompetent these losers are.

Note: statistical analysis is not completely representative of the Noah since it is only looking at information revealed in the manga/assumed as of June 2023- it is entirely possible that this information will change.

But now to it... (spoilers)

First, I wanted to establish some kind of system to accurately grade the Noah based on their accomplishments. Originally I was putting down all their activities and noting if they failed/succeeded- giving +1 points to successes and 0 for failures and then averaging it out based on total # of activities, but this led to the problem where some Noah were shown more than other so there was more data (like Mercyma or Tryde) and as a result their competency was put very high despite the fact we have little information on them, so this idea was scrapped.

Ultimately, I made it so each Noah started out with a 5/10 ranking, and then points were added and lost depending on their successes/failures and to what degree they were.

The "successes/failures" only looks at specific missions assigned to the Noah by the Earl- so for instance Tyki going around and killing extra exorcists like Daisya and Suman were not counted, as he was specifically ordered to kill Allen at the time and did this as an "extracurricular." Points were also deducted if the Noah did something that went against the Earl/hurt the Noah (more on this later.)

Points Awarded:

+0.5= Succeed at easy mission

+1.0= Succeed at mission

+1.5= Succeed at hard mission

-0.5= Fail at hard mission/ not a total loss

-1.0= Fail at mission

-1.5= Fail at easy mission/ make things worse

With this established onto the grading!

2nd Apostle: Tryde/Toraido (Judge)

-1.5: Stop traitors of Noah- failed with Nea (they all pretty much died as result)

+0.5: Be in Russia with Jasdevi for Alma Arc- succeed (kinda just stood there)

Total Competence: 4/10 (very limited amount of data but fairly okay, maybe don't trust with your life but can trust to not set house on fire)

3rd Apostle: Tyki Mikk (Pleasure)

+1.0: Kill Yeegar- succeed

-1.5: Kill Allen/Innocence- failed both and actually increased Allen’s power

-1.0: Kill exorcists in Edo- failed

-0.5: Kill Cross- mission given by Earl but never really attempted (Joyd did when awoken but failed)

+0.5: Bring Allen to North America branch- succeed

+1.0: Rescue Allen from Apocryphos- succeed

-0.5: Kill Apocryphos- failed

-1.0: Recruit Allen- failed

-1.0: Protect Road- failed

-1.5: Babysit Earl- failed

Extra: Responsible for Ark Arc, resulting in death of fellow Noah Skinn, permanent injury to Jasdevi along with himself, and Allen/the Order gaining access to the Ark (which later led to Egg being destroyed): -4.0

Total Competence: -3.5/10 (do NOT give this guy anything to do, if you asked him for milk he’d leave, kill someone in a Chuck E Cheese, and bring the dead body home (WITHOUT THE MILK))

4th Apostle: Sheril/Cheryl (Desires)

+1.5: Cause wars- succeed

+1.0: Take control of North America branch- succeed

+0.5: Help capture Apocryphos- succeed (didn’t appear to do much)

Extra: Did go behind Earl’s back to capture Bookman/Lavi and torture for information about Nea: -1.0

Total Competence: 7/10 (can trust to this guy to do most things, but if it threatens his or Road's life all bets are off)

5th Apostle: Wisely/Waizuri (Wisdom)

+1.0: Unite Alma and Kanda to awaken 14th- succeed

-1.5: Babysit Earl- failed

Extra: With Bookman/Lavi, tried to read minds but failed? So he was incompetent but in a way that supported the Earl: -0.5

Total Competence: 4/10 (if you leave a plant with him the plant will likely die)

Note: Alma Arc may have been a fluke but he seems to have lost competence after this- maybe Allen bonking Kanda in the head and giving Wisely a migraine had lasting effects? Maybe Sheryl had a point here:

6th Apostle: Feedler/Fiedla/Fiidora (Corrosion)

+1.5: Fights exorcists in China/infects exorcist- succeed, now have spy in order

-1.5: Babysit Earl- failed

+1.0: Act as communication for Noah- succeed, ranked as “1.0” since it is his ability specific

Extra: Did help Cheryl torture Bookman/Lavi, going against Earl: -0.5

Total Competence: 5.5/10 (can trust to not burn house down when cooking dinner, although food may be meh)

7th Apostle: Mercym/Maushyma (Pity)

+1.0: Occupy Madaroa- succeed

+0.5: Capture Apocryphos- succeed (didn’t appear to do much)

Total Competence: 6.5/10 (can be trusted to babysit kids)

8th Apostle: Skinn (Wrath) (Note: PRETTY DEAD)

-1.0: Kill Tiedoll- failed

-1.5: Kill Tiedoll unit- failed, dying as a result

Total Competence: 2.5/10 (very likely to get into a car accident due to road rage if allowed to borrow a car)

9th Apostle: Road (Dreams)

+0.5: Acquire Skinn when he was woken- succeed

-1.0: Retrieve Miranda Innocence- failed

+1.0: Kill Yeegar- succeed

+1.5: Copy Ark- succeed

+1.0: Help with Alma Karma arc- succeed

+1.5: Rescue Allen- succeed, went beyond to protect him

-0.5: Kill Apocryphos- failed

-0.5: Recruit Allen- failed (gets a bit of slack cause she was kinda fading away)

Extra: Responsible for Ark Arc, resulting in death of fellow Noah Skinn, permanent injury to Jasdevi/Tyki , and Allen/the Order gaining access to the Ark (which later led to Egg being destroyed): -4.0

HOWEVER she wasn’t killed by Nea so +3.0 points.

Total Competence: 7.5/10 (likely to complete a group project, but it was likely done by her forcing someone else to do it by candle-point- work smarter not harder)

10th/11th Apostles: Jasdevi (Bonds)

-1.5: Kill Cross- failed badly, acquiring debt in process

+0.5: Be in Russia with Tryde for Alma Arc- succeed

+1.5: Capture Apocryphos- succeed

Total Competence: 5.5/10 (surprisingly high) (if left to bake a cake the kitchen may be a disaster and the sink may be on fire but there will be a surprisingly okay cake) (about 2.75/10 each)

Note: Competence seems to have increased following encounter with Krory, did a reverse Wisely and actually got MORE competent over time.

12th Apostle: Lulu Bell (Lust)

-1.0: Retrieve egg- failed (egg destroyed but Order able to use some of egg to make Thirds)

+0.5: Be in Greece for Alma Arc- succeed

Total Competence: 4.5/10 (considered competent due to loyalty but fairly lazy, if told to do the dishes she would find someone else to do it for her and that person would do a subpar job)

13th Apostle: Mightra/Maitora (Ability)

+0.5: Make cool outfits- succeed

+1.0: Make skulls- succeed

+1.5: Do other magic related stuff with Ark/Akuma- succeed

Total Competence: 8/10 (can be trusted to house sit for a week without issue)

Also, just for fun:

The Fourteenth/Nea D. Campbell

+1.5: Kill Noah- mostly succeeded and damaged memories so kudos to him

+1.5: Restrict Ark- succeeded

-0.5: Kill Earl- failed

+1.0: Reincarnate- succeed

-1.5: Kill Johnny- failed

-1.0: Trick Kanda- failed

-1.0: Trick Link- failed

-0.5: Kill Earl (Part 2 Electric Boogaloo)- failed

+0.5: Reveal past to Earl- sorta? He certainly monologued but who knows if the Earl was all there

-1.0: Take over Allen completely- failed

Total Competence: 4/10

So... all in all (excluding Nea from calculations):

Mightra: 8/10

Road: 7.5/10

Cheryl: 7/10

Mercym: 6.5/10

Feedler: 5.5/10

Jasdevi: 5.5/10

Lulu Bell: 4.5/10

Tryde: 4/10

Wisely: 4/10

Skinn: 2.5/10

Tyki: -3.5/10

With the average competency of the Noah being around 4.68/10 and the median being 5.5/10.

I would also like to take the time to point out just how incompetent Tyki is compared to his fellow Noah:

Tyki is literally graphed as a fucking outlier and even without the 4.0 points he lost because of the Arc Ark, he would still be at a 0.5/10, still the lowest of all the Noah. In fact, if we were to take this data and assume that the Noah are a representative sample for all of humanity, he would have be in the bottom 0.6% for competency (using Z-score to determine this.)

Without Tyki, the Noah's competency would be up to 5.5/10, which I feel like is great evidence of the fact that Tyki is so goddamn stupid and his real Noah ability is the power to lower the intelligence/competence of everyone around him. Why did Wisely lose competence after Alma arc? Because he had to be around Tyki all the time. Why did Jasdevi gain competence? Because they started being babysat by Mercym and Tryde instead of Tyki. They purposely left Tyki to watch over the Earl because they thought there was no way he could mess up watching over their delusional grandfather while the twins/Mercym/Sheryl caught Apocryphos and he still did. Honestly maybe if the Noah want the Order to lose they should just sneak Tyki into the organization and let him just lower the competence of everyone there so the organization eventually collapses in on itself and combusts.

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