#dick in a box

[pizzaapeteer]

Dick in a Box ~ Theo nott

Small blurb for @thatdammchickennugget week 2 hogmarch challenge, fire whiskey. This came to me randomly and made me giggle, because it's such goofy Theo behaviour. Hope people know this song from a SNL skit, dick in a box by lonely island. lmao please this is so silly, and I wrote it in like 20 minutes.... MNDI, mention of NSFW A/n: pretty divider from here

You had no idea why your boyfriend had asked you to his room during the middle of a party. He had disappeared half an hour ago, leaving you to stay dancing with your friends. You’d only assumed he’d gone off to smoke some weed and were surprised when he texted you. 

The hallway stretched out, creating a sort of illusion diverting you in taking your time till you reached Theo’s shared dorm. You pushed the door open, your eyes widening at what was revealed to you. Your hands flew to your face, amusement twinkling in your eyes, unable to keep yourself from letting out a burst of laughter. 

“What are you wearing?!” The flow of giggles was coming out hot now as your boyfriend stood arrogantly naked except for the large gift box strapped to his dick. Your eyes meet him as he wiggles his brows and motions his hands in a V towards his groin. “It’s my dick in a box!” The words poured from him proudly at his gift for you. He thought it was the coolest gift he’d ever given you before, the same way girls wrap themselves in a ribbon for Christmas. He was hot, and if they could do it, why couldn’t he also be a gift. Though he hadn’t expected you to be stuck in a fit of giggles, making him cross his arms, his face falling into a state of drunk seriousness. You clutched your chest, still giggling. Before you met his gaze, the level of intoxication was evidently clear in his reaction. Clearing your throat, feeling bad as you bashed on his “amazing idea”. You walked towards him smiling, reaching your hand out to pull the ribbon, “May I?” His face lit up in excitement, nodding as he smirked, watching the ribbon unravel before you lifted the top off. Despite the funniness of his idea, you couldn’t help but bite your lip at the reveal of his hardened dick, only just fitting inside the box. You leaned forwards still grinning amused as you kissed him, “just for me? Wow, baby, you shouldn’t have.” Theo, too gone to pick up on your sarcasm, kissed you back sloppily, his arms engulfing you. A quick knock alerted your attention as you turned to see who the invader was. Your eyes meet Mattheo’s, watching how his eyes widened at Theo’s attire. “The fuck-.” 

Theo’s face turned a shade of red you’d never seen before as he struggled to strip the box off. He fumbled with the cardboard, realising he's attached it too tightly to himself, groaning in frustration as Mattheo sprinted out of the dorm cackling. You couldn’t help but laugh at the unexpected turn of events as Theo sat on the bed mopping sadly. “My dick’s stuck in a box.” 

#theodore nott #theo nott #theo nott blurb #slytherin boys #mattheo riddle #theodore nott being a goofy dork #dick in a box #hogmarch challenge

[existennialmemes]

Listen Kids, you think you're sick of a meme because you've seen it a dozen times?

Back in My Day™

you couldn't go five minutes without seeing or hearing a reference to the Dick in a Box video. And not just online. It was everywhere.

You'd walk into a store and you'd hear it playing over the speakers. You'd get on a bus and the driver would start singing it.

You'd approach your computer and BAM there was the box, and we all know what's inside.

#shitpost #shitposting #dick in a box #satire #I'm exaggerating so much in every direction #please don't take me seriously and get mad #I do feel like it was Everywhere All The Time for a while though #Is that just me? Anybody else from the Dick in a Box Universe? #I don't literally just mean kids or people younger than me #I'm using Kids™ sarcastically #just wanna clarify that #once again so no one yells at me 😎👉👉

[suspiciouslynotapastor]

Happy birthday to me!!

#onceler #onceler fandom #fanart #greedler #dick in a box #birthday

[buggabooboo]

#fanart #my art #lukejamie #sf6 #street fighter #luke sullivan #jamie siu #schrodinger’s dick #dick in a box #making sink references in 2023

[feistyfox47]

He got his dick stuck in a tube 🤣🤣

They all know it too 🤣😭💀

#funny #i'm dead lol #humor #meme #cute #its giving dead #it do be like that #feistyfox47 #tumblr milestone #writers on tumblr #dick in a box #cylinder #small dick humiliation #pause to read the whole thing #wtf did i do #wtf did i just read #wtf did i just watch #wtf did i just witness #wtf did i just write

[instantkrazy]

Reminder for the impending eclipse: if you want to create a camera obscura from one of your old Amazon boxes just follow step one of Dick in a Box.

#solar eclipse #dick in a box

[americassoldierboy]

It’s my d*ck in a box :3

#snl #ryan gosling #andy samberg #dick in a box #funny #gifs

[hoboyherewego]

A very Merry Christmas from Floyd

tw suggestive drawing

Hurry up, open the box!

inspired by @writingseaslugs last Fuck Floyd Friday

#floyd leech #twst floyd #twisted wonderland #dick in a box #my stuff #happy holidays everybody #i suck at lighting

[the-kitten69]

Let me unwrap you

#package #want #Christmas #your package #dick in a box

[allagogtoreblog]

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

You burst from the bedroom, practically vibrating with excitement as you tightly grasped the previously hidden gift in your hands.

It had been a pain in the ass hiding this from your nosy boyfriend, whose tendencies to snoop had ruined surprises for him in the past. Considering there weren’t many places to hide things in your shared apartment, you had decided to keep this gift hidden at Robin’s until she dropped it off late last night when Eddie was still out.  

“Finally managed to hide something from you, Snoopy!” you taunted down the hall triumphantly, giggling at Eddie’s answering laugh.

You stepped into the living room, smiling excitedly at the sight of your boyfriend’s sleep-mussed curls, barely visible over the back of the couch.

“Were you able to find mine?” you teasingly asked as you rounded the couch – remembering his panic last Christmas when he’d wrapped and hidden your gift while stoned and forgotten where he’d put it. (You’d found it buried under the dirty clothes in your laundry hamper three days later.)

“Course I did, sweetheart,” he answers with a smirk, gesturing downwards. “I made sure to keep this one close by.”

Your gaze follows the movement, noticing the colorfully wrapped box positioned carefully in his lap.

“Eddie….” you draw out warningly. “I swear to god, if you’ve cut a hole in the bottom of that box and stuck your dick in again, we’re gonna have a problem.”

“C’mon babe, we both know it’s the gift that keeps on giving.”

#eddie x reader #eddie munson #stranger things #reader #dick in a box #merry dickmas #the gift that keeps on giving #tell me eddie wouldn't do this #drabble #eddie munson imagine #sorry for this

[davidaugust]

The mashup we may never have needed.

#what’s in the box? #dick in a box #brad pitt #andy samberg #justin timberlake #funny #memes #meme #mashup #seven

[dirivitiveofrye]

Makin jokes 😊

#dick in a box #total hippie creations #handmade #art #crochet #yarn #made with love #lonely island

[huskerdustera]

🎶A gift real special, so take off the top

Take a look inside it's my dick in a box🎶 🍆

#digital arwork #loki #dick in a box #the lonely island

[mattfromkc]

Dick in a box- the best Christmas present ever!

#christmas #gifts #dick in a box #justin timberlake #andy samberg #snl skit #classic snl

[fragmentsofmagic-extras]

There’s no time like the present ;)c

Happy Holidays 2022

#Dick in a box #Dick in a box meme #merry christmas 2022 #Chrismas meme #Fragments of Magic meme #FragmentsofMagic #Void

[froggy-ranger]

Don don don! Donburako! Don Momotaro doesn't just deliver packages, he also delivers joy! And then someone pointed out to me that sounds like a Dick In A Box joke so here we are

#avataro sentai donbrothers #donbrothers #fanart #super sentai #don momotaro #my artwork #dick in a box