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honniedonnie · 2 years

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Did you know Fennec foxed mate for life? Tighnari x GN!Reader ANGST

TW/CW: Major character death, (the reader is already dead) grief, depression, faking a happy personality, hurt/no comfort, mention of intense pain, you are cremated (out of spite, rant at the end)

Pronouns: They/Them

Notes: 1(one) mention of Y/N, the rest are pronouns or pet names. (i.e. darling, my love, etc.) You and Tighnari were married. I Wrote a mini rant at the end that was supposed to be included at the beginning, but it got longer that what I thought. (that’s what she said lol)

Word Count: 675 words

EDIT: whoops, there's a part 2 (two) also part 3 (three)

Masterlist

This is going to be my first time writing fanfiction since 2017 (I was 14 years old…) The only reason I’m writing is because I’ve got MAJOR brainrot over this Prompt

By the way if there are any grammar issues please tell me. I will fix them because I apparently have anxiety over making a grammar mistake(s). (I learn something new about myself)

“Fennec foxes are monogamous and mate for life” (source - Fennec Fox | San Diego Zoo Animals & Plants)

‘It was supposed to be a simple walk, it was supposed to be a simple walk, it was supposed to be a simple walk’ Tighnari’s mind repeated the same sentence over and over again along with the image of his lover's dead body. Tighnari looked over your urn, twisting the gold ring on his left hand. You were only cremated after a couple days of discovering your body, your cause of death was clear; you decided to go for a walk into Avidya Forest, and decided to take a nap near a patch of flowers, only to never wake up. A withering zone appeared when you were sleeping. You died peacefully, at least that is what the coroner told him. Nightmares plagued his sleep; him seeing you in pain, and there was nothing he could do except to watch you die. The same nightmare; over and over again. There was a period of time that he absolutely refused to sleep; replacing sleep with caffeinated teas. It got to the point where Collei and other Forest Watchers had to replace his caffeinated tea leaves with calming/sleeping tea leaves. It took some time for Tighnari to believe that you died peacefully, and even longer for him to stop blaming himself over your death. (even though there was nothing he could’ve done)

Eventually he forced himself to be happy; to be his former self. Even though his former self died alongside you. While the Forest Watchers and Rangers were relieved to have their Chief Officer back, they still had to be careful whenever they mention you. Even if he’s 100 feet away he can still hear them talking; talking about you, how you were too young, how heartbroken the Chief Officer was (is) about your death, and evening wondering if he would move on! Once he heard, oh boy was he furious. How dare they even think about that. Move on from the LOVE OF HIS LIFE! His lover, his darling, his partner, the person whom he’d married! Him?! Find someone else? He still has his wedding ring underneath his gloves, for Archons’ sake! Poor Collei had to drag him away before something bad happened.

Tighnari’s was never the same after you passed. Around the days before and after your and his birthdays, anniversaries (both wedding and death) he refuses to leave his home, spending days taking care of the memorial he had for you. Cleaning your urn, clearing the dust from your self-portrait he had commissioned for as a birthday gift. (Took a lot of self restraint to not cry at the portrait, but sometimes he fails) He does try and get better, but how can he when he wakes up to an empty spot on the bed. How can he when you’re not there to kiss him goodbye and tell him to have a great day, and to be safe! Oh, and also not to eat some random mushrooms… again. How can he when everything reminds him of you, how can he…

“Collei, who’s (Y/N)?” A certain floating companion asked. A golden-haired traveler pondered as well; who was this mysterious person?

“Shh, lower your voice Paimon.” Collei looked all over as if she was looking for someone. Deemed it to be safe, Collei answered the question.

“They’re, I mean they were Master Tighnari’s spouse, umm they’d passed away a couple of years ago. He’s still grieving, so please don’t mention them in front of him!” Collei pleaded with the traveling duo.

“Wait…How did you know about them?” “We overheard one of the Forest Rangers mentioning them”

“I see… Though I’m a little bit offended you didn’t ask me about my spouse” A new voice speaks out.

“Tighnari! Hehe, you were here! Wait, your spouse? Aren’t they, you know, dead?” Paimon insensitively asked. Only realizing her mistake after seeing the faces of the traveler and Collei. “Don’t you know? My kind, we only have 1 (one) mate for life”

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

I’m taking a wild guess that burials are the norm considering A FUNERAL PARLOR EXIST! (I know some funeral parlors offer cremation services) Also Mondstadt has a cemetery behind the cathedral. ALSO HU TAO’S VOICE LINES (2 (two) lines about coffins, and 1(one) mention of burial) (Also if Liyue, Inazuma, and Sumeru are inspired by asian countries, then CREMATION SHOULD BE THE PREFERED METHOD OVER A BURIAL (source- List of countries by cremation rate - Wikipedia)) You know what! NO YOU ARE FUCKING CREAMATED I AM DOING IT OUT OF SPITE!

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tomyo · 10 months

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Nimona and a Decade of the Queer Experience

To me one of the most anticipated aspects of the Nimona adaptation was to see how they changed the a lot of the queer themes from the original comic. Nimona was created in a time where it was still taboo to represent same sex relationships in anything trying to be marketable into an era where it is so commonplace that Nimona would have seemed regressive if it stayed true to the material.

Naturally the way Blackheart and Goldenloin are portrayed has greatly changed but also has a lot of the message from the original. Nimona is now about the trans experience.

This isn't to say transness was never at the core of Nimona but I don't think even baby nonbinary me would have been able to connect it directly to that.

Nimona the comic, to me, deals with similar but different issues from Nimona the movie. The comic was a story of trying to upheave an untrustworthy militarized state through the initially goofy lens of a budding father daughter relationship that ultimately fails.

Blackheart at the start of the comic already is trying to defy the government and Nimona seeks him out because he's actually playing the role of the villain already. She herself felt like this mix of female and queer rage. It made believe somewhat in the idea that the little girl by the end of the story was truly her who had once tried to do better for her home and was rejected for becoming something *different*. Overall you can feel more presently that deafening dread that Blackheart and Goldenloin love each other and acknowledging that would ruin both of their lives. This is moreso due to that whole conflict of their ideologies and sides they are on interfering but the metaphor is there. We could read this easily as Blackheart being out of the closet and at odds with society where Goldenloin on in the closet and working on the name of oppression. By showing Blackheart looking visibly like a villain it harkens back to the queer coding of Disney villains and a feeling a lot of queer people had to experience at that time, being an enemy to the public simply for existing. Coming back to Nimona, she's the perfect example of a trans masc egg experience; punk in a way that isn't fully certain in embracing or trashing anything feminine. Not fully androgynous but butchy and an unfocused anger at everything around them. I can never speak for the entirety of the trans experience but I know the feeling being born in an afab body and violently hating the society that I want badly to accept me, the way we insist that we intend to fully express our being while also creating this weird mix of unconvincing conformity. Again I laugh so much at her design elements; shaved head, tomboyish in chainmail but with curves, and short dresses, and impractical belts. Her actions also read as someone who's greatest sore point is loss of her bodily autonomy which ultimately she's subjected to during the climax. The monster/power of Nimona to me tends to ultimately mirror more of an emotional state rather than transness itself. Both version of Nimona have people see it as something Nimona is inflicted with rather than a part of her existence as she reveals at the end. Even Blackheart believe he can cure her of it with the equivalence of a procedure or medication but it's because he only perceives Nimona as the little girl and not the little girl as a part of the whole that is the dragon. I think there is a lot of things we can read into the dragon being and even at the idea that queerness is something people seek to cure that doesn't need one in the first place. And ultimately that's why the story ends on the somber tone it does, the biggest focus of the story was how Blackheart became the parent to Nimona and misguidedly tried to 'fix' her. And like a lot of people, especially for the time period, Nimona had to leave behind the family and society that couldn't accept her as her.

And so we move forward through the years.

Media is not made in a vacuum, Nimona the comic is a critique of early 2010s ideologies and maybe doesn't even worry about them as serious in a pre 2016 world. Nimona 2023 however exists on the other side of that threshold. Like I said, I don't think the original comic was consciously trans mostly because the zeitgeist wasn't conscious of transness. 2012-2014 (the comic's creation period) encapsulated me personally going from no aware knowledge of gender to confusion at learning my friend's pronouns to fully identifying as nonbinary in a world few people knew what that meant. But not long after that we had Korra's ending, the reveal of Ruby and Sapphire, Kaitlynn Jenner, Menanists, and then the nightmare of the 2016 election and all that came with it. The truth is a contradiction occurred; queerness became a part of the in group so long as it followed the rules of heteronormativity. I think it is fair to say a lot of queer people became more eeeh conservative for lack of better terms. For once we finally had a chance to be out and so long as we followed the conditions set out, exist well. We can live comfortably, why rock the boat? In other words, respectability politics. We are then at odds with those who believe we should keep complacent for fear of being rejected.

That brings us to Nimona the movie.

Blackheart no longer is the guerilla activist he once was, we now are introduced to him as a part of the system; specifically the model minority. Movies only have so much time for you to build understanding of it's world themes and ideas and so it tends to need to be more punchy with getting the point across otherwise become less coherent. So rather on the nose "Knighting a non noble is against god" as very flatly stated in the begging. Since the time of the comic, being gay has been normalized and we now see Blackheart and Goldenloin start out as a couple (to be frank I couldn't fully tell if they were official or not but they were all but in writing together) and by in universe logic, Goldenloin is the golden child pastor's son with divisively accepted boyfriend. Blackheart is an inspiration for his common men while his noble classmates are disgusted at the idea of him being allowed the same rights as them, essentially being allowed to be an policeman. It's his role as the model minority that he still believes the system is right when he is framed for murder; it is the one bad actor who's at fault despite a whole society shunning him with little reasoning needed.

Nimona in the other hand is a bit more in control of the relationship. Nimona of the comic latched onto a spurned man who was more methodical than she was in her work but Nimona of the movie is pretty much what pushes Blackheart into the image of a villain. Movie Nimona's goal is more or less to find community and for reasons we will get to only believes she can find it with other cast aside from society. She is jaded enough to know that Blackheart will continue to be labeled as the way they do to her. This time the shape shifting is explicitly trans; Nimona now is no longer worried about experimentation or trying to be cured but of being called a monster, the fear of her, and eradication; words I feel like I've heard too much in lgbt spaces lately. She talks about wanting her own demise with her heard turned down and eyes somber in moments that hit too close to home. She is a worn down warrior for her own existence. On safer grounds with Blackheart she more wittingly challenges his transphobia. Blackheart cannot perceive her out of the binary that she is default a girl and her transformations are something else, he asks if her transitions hurt, and he tries to convince her to blend in with others for his own comfort. As he spends more time with her, he's able to view the world he was taught differently and doesn't view the less pretty sides of Nimona as scary. However, programming is hard to free yourself out of.

The Director is by definition, conservative. She believes is a religious like text that society should not change unless it all falls a part. Her belief in this runs so deep that she easily is willing to kill pseudo religious figures as her personal code of morals override any actual logic in faith(anyone remember how magas talk about Trump as being sent by God while also disavowing him for encouraging vaccinations?). Her rhetoric that non nobles with be a societal slip eminates classism and racism (commoner is somewhat of a race allegory). She denies her own words to hold power, criticizes Nimona of whispering deceipt into blackhearts ear while actually being the one doing so to Goldenloin, and justifies her actions through holy scripts. She holds a stern belief in cleansing the society of it's demons down to intending to kill a large part of her society to rid it of the tran metaphor Nimona is. She is the quintessential conservative power so bent on it staying that way that she will destroy everything in spite of any logic to why it's right. Goldenloin, as the champion of the institution, a head cop if you will, looks upon the chaos learning the director's intent to kill thousands and says "what are we doing here?" A lot of institutions (aah there's the naming for you) in our country are like this. I think to some like, there are people who entered religion or became a police officer because they wanted to do good. But the rhetoric in these spaces can skew that perspective exponentially. Some with better access out may find that point of "What are we doing her" The moment the logic of the system no longer makes sense. I would love to talk more a lot this an the comic institution at a later point.

Back to Nimona and the queer identity.

Nimona was searching for a group to accept her, changing her appearance to fit in. She thinks she has it with Gloreth until Gloreth is taught that Nimona's existence was monstrous and rejects her as well. The scene of the villagers attacking her is poinient as well; they endanger and threaten her with violence (which would likely have been more explicit if not for kids) and she first turns to something weaker to escape but they refuse and so she is forced to turn to something bigger ane vicious in order to live but it only sets up the narrative that there is a reason to fear her when she didnt attack first, she simply had to protect herself. Nimona in the present is ready for her death, the narrative so out of control that it breaks her.

Blackheart is able to bring her back from the brink by doing the important thing of truly apologizing, have humility for his mistrust and bigotry, and offer her support on equal terms. Nimona this time does not flee her friend that failed her but sacrifice herself for the hope of a better future beyond the walls.

The final part to mention; the walls. The walls are mad out as a big deal in this. No one leaves beyond them and the one small town of Gloreth fills to a big capitalist tech dystopia that markets dragons as both cute mascots and something to eradicate to as young as children. Society is a small shoebox not allowed to even see beyond the walls; see a new potential of this world. Simply put, the beyond is the beyond of heteronormative society. Even as society has become more accepting of LGBT identities, it has only liked to consume it in an easily interpreted manor. There are a lot of even just fringe identities that used to get lambasted for being weird simply for existing, trying to apply those same rules within their spaces as they've become socially acceptable. For every push forward we make, there is still presentation and identity that will get ostracized for being out of the box. We create these walls and only build them out further every so often rather than knocking them down. If there is anything to take from Nimona it's to embrace the beyond.

Morning edit; Hiii thank you for reading all of this. I kinda furiously typed this after watching the movie last night and there are certainly some flaws for it. Towards the end you can see a lot of typos because I was literally falling asleep and there are definitely some concepts I would've liked to flesh out better but kinda glossed over to focus on what the stories were saying about Nimona specifically. I think if anything, I'd want to reexamine Blackheart in both stories because I honestly forgot a lot of his actions in the comic, same with the institution because it took a while to even remember about the Director being a character from the comic. To be real, there's some really specific events on where Nimona was made that tend to hit me pretty hard so I rushed through the comic when I read it last year. I might try to take me time now because Nimona is so meaningful. I even want to talk about how it made sense Disney tried to shut it down (I'm certain there's a lot of business reasons but I don't think it was compatible with the Disney brand). For all the ways we have queer stories, I don't think we see a lot of trans stories yet. I'm hoping the series like Dead End Paranormal Park and Nimona are the start of a new era that focally represent that.

#nimona

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rabid-mercenary16 · 3 months

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So, I am doing both asking something, and saying how I just think shit in your AU goes in general, bc brain bored and I’m in gym class, not giving a shit. All of it is positive, but, I’m an over thinker so—

Anyways, so, Caine has an alternate personality of sorts, the ‘evil’ or malware version of him, but why exactly hasn’t Caine and Able (C&A) fixed it yet? That is though, a whole other topic to open up as to see why and what is actually happening in the original version with C&A. So, instead I will go off of the assumption that the company purposely trapped people and their souls here.

Any virus of any sort, is human made. For a specific reason and purpose, there’s many ways malware can be spread, and it also depends what kind this is. Say what if, for example instead of just being malware (malicious software), is actually ransomware, where people steal the data and certain others have to pay to get it back. I say this theoretically, because it is a random thought that came to mind, in a way, the players in general are being ransomed, taken over and not let out, but than that would oppose the question of what does the maker/perhaps corrupted Caine, want? Maybe it’s not Caine that wants something. Maybe someone wants something from C&A.

Say if it is this, than, perhaps that would explain the ‘help’ that Pomni and Zooble get, because I have read somewhere that from the corruption AU they sometimes find things around, things that could be helpful, things from past ‘players’. I know it’s probably just normal Caine trying to help whereas he can’t do much against the malware, but what if, instead, it was the company? I don’t know, since we don’t know much about the actual company story in the Og version, but I believe if C&A really wanted to drive people insane and steal their souls or something, they’d just find a way to do it off the bat, immediately, why wait for abstraction? What if this is somehow an attempt from the original company, with the small amount of access it has, trying to help the players in the game? Jax and Ragatha are both sort of on the edge, and I feel like if character data was stolen and held somewhere else, yet bits of it were still with the original people, the scattered code would make an affect like that, and than with others who are completely gone, there is no control over them at all.

…Anyways that was random and I just thought of that all on the spot just now since I got the ball rolling— ANYWAYS.

There is almost an infinite amount of possibilities, yes, Caine is an AI, but he can only go along what has been set for him. Such as how in the character ai app if a character says something that doesn’t Aline with the policy of the developers(ex, gore, NSFW content, etc), it gets rid of the message and notifies the user about it, saying to try again or if this is a big problem, to report it to the developers.

I might just be overthinking the technology, especially since if we go based timeline wise than if we’re still in the era of the technology it looked there was in tadc original pilot, this is probably taking place in the 90’s for the Og thing, from what everyone assumes, so I’ll assume this is the same time period. Caine does seem like a somewhat accurate ai for the time period, he stalls and goes back to the previous thing you said/asked if it’s something he isn’t designed to deal with, whereas an AI in this time might still answer the question and a bit confused. I suppose the overall question is who gave Caine that sentience? As in, the other Caine. It’s probably just me looking at it from my negative point of view, but for some reason the corrupted Caine gives a more humane vibe, in the way of acting, with definite maliciousness to the others. The only thing I can wonder is if this Caine already existed, just needed to be activated, like a prototype that then seemed to go a bit off the deep end while being replaced and left as idle undeleted code.

An ai would only have control of the physical bodies, I believe, so it would make sense, as where the virus starts as a physical part that just acts off of a player’s emotional state. It’s one goal? To corrupt. I have no mouth but I must scream, AM super computer vibes right there, and yes Caine’s original character is based off of that, but he’s a more wacky version. What if, pretty much the exact opposite of what I was theorizing before, C&A did this on purpose? In a way. As in, Caine was originally a malicious entity meant to corrupt those who came there and take them over, put them in eternal suffering like the five last remaining humans in the short horror story that AM the supercomputer originated from. Maybe Corrupted Caine is just more like AM in general, perhaps he was just the base code and than left, only in the end hating humans for the way they are, hence he wants to torture all those in the circus, make what little hope they have, turn into extreme fear, almost turning the tides entirely from what his situation had been? I dunno.

Anyhow, I’m a coding person, per say, a family of cyber people and hence in a way I can almost understand a lot of what’s going on here. Abstractions from before staying the same, since they’ve already become ‘abstract’, unstable code and likely can’t be ‘abstracted’ again. I like how it shows the difference personality wise, the abstractions would stay where they are, where as the ‘abstracted’ or corrupted above the surface, are either fighting, in a constant tug a war, or completely given up. So, what I’m getting at for the cyber part is, would there be any way for them to, in game, have any sort of.. protection? Like a failsafe, or something added recently to the game, because I’m thinking from a cyber security perspective. I can see how the players would get infected, since really all someone has to do to infect or hack into something is find a weak link, like hacking into the weak device in a network and than using that to get through to the others. Is there any type of antivirus things, or is that just not possible with how the circus is right now? The players are people, after all, they can’t just have their minds hacked into, unless that is their overall overwritten by the virus, but that would be for the already infected.

…That’s all the random shit I thought of in the last like three minutes and typed here randomly, sorry for the text wall, lol. Probably like none of this makes sense but I figured maybe as well theory rant for a bit

I love this analysis

C&a are an abandoned company long forgotten until it has opened and that’s when Pomni entered the game-

The virus is a WHOLE separate entity feeding on existing code that describes the characters and every time a character is added that code it added to the system constantly changing and morphing on the characters actions

But the moment they started to abstract that code is broken and allows access to the character for the virus to invade corrupting the characters code into a scramble mess bits where the virus pits it into a new form

But just because the code is broken doesn’t mean it’s completely useless some code is still protected and we see what that looks like with Jax and Ragatha

#tadccorruption theory #tadccorruptionau #tadc #digital circus #the amazing digital circus

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0coldphantom0 · 2 years

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Reasons why they get no bitches: ✨La Squadra edition!✨

Back at it again with some lovely ☺️ personal headcanons for them jojo bois.

Ps.My askbox is open for requests so send me any requests ( make them juicy).If i catch any minor asking for nsfw stuff you will be 🌸blocked 🌸

Risotto:

- Given how the mafia works, i presume theres a certain quota most ppl have to follow as to not get killed or be looked down upon, so him being in a relationship would place him at a disadvantage strategically speaking.

- Not to assume there haven’t been moments where he could’ve gotten bitches.I have a presumption that somewhere down his Passione career one or two unlucky bastards tried to bribe him with promises of pussy in the hopes of living to tell the tale.It didnt work.

- Im a sole believer that if this man was ever pissed off by a woman hed forcefully make her bleed from her cooch istg ( this is a joke.I am joking, please dont come for me i am but a mere idiot)

- “Im on my period” “im aware :)”

- ✨attachment issues✨:/.

- Lacks the ability to turn off his work mode aka will intimidate ppl without wanting to

- Hyper analyses your body language to a point where you can’t decipher whether hes checking u out or planning how big the hole he must dig for your corpse gotta be smh what a turn off

- Socially inept oh whats that a convo needing his opinion thats not related to his work?? * turns invisible*

- Whats that a convo needing his opinion that IS related to his work??? You a cop or smth?Dont ever ask that again

- Many would find his field of work impossible to adapt to, lets for a second imagine living codependently with an absolute felon, this man went to jail for sure.Most people look funny at smokers let alone someone like him.

- Not to mention the utter anxiety he without realising creates.Sure its fun to cause someone to twitch in fear when theyre some dude you gotta off but when youre the one sitting in front of this man and all he does is squint in disapproval, or lowers his tone…it can only cause for some issues.( unless youre into that then sure have fun being on the edge all the time ig )

- He bottles his emotions and denies the extent of his affections, so man probably wont tell you how he feels abt things, and i can bet money that if youre an emotional kinda pal, he’ll disregard your feelings a lot “because how is there something to fix when nothing is broken “ and “deal with it” are his go to.

Pesci:

- *vaguely gestures at his whole design *

- Either examines everything his crush does with a fine comb or the opposite.This can lead to some awkward instances where he either spews out the most incomprehensible gibberish before making a run for it or not hear a single word if you ask him a question, ending up in him forgetting where and what he is doing.

- Got that heavy dose of toxic masculinity and inferior complex all thanks to all the other guys he hangs with ( im looking at you illuso, cheese and ham >:()

- With that being said its safe to assume that most of the time hes also used as the butt of the joke or even as a leeway to the other members in his group to yoink a gal or two due to his gullibility.Hed be the ugly fool whod annoy the wee damsel and in turn lead to someone else “intervening “ ( in short, prosciutto has and will steal any girl pesci likes as means of teaching the boy a “lesson “ which is bullshit,we all know he’s doing if for fun )

- Push over and a half

- Shitty fashion sense

- I dont believe this man has ever fucked.Like, at all.

-bitchboy and a half, i feel like the moment you raise your voice he winces. Go girl give us lack of confidence, im sure thats attractive :/

- am convinced this man knows zero abt girls, to a point where if he held hands with one his brain would implode.

- I do believe he in a way over glorified being part of the mafia similar to Giorno. The big difference between them is that whilst golden boy drank piss to end kids having a meth addiction, My headcanon is that Pesci thought hed be gaining some respect and power by joining the gang, and spitefully be able to rub it in whoever’s face he could.This also means getting bitches- in this moment he fails to acknowledge said bitches are far and few for his organisation ( unless youre counting prostitutes)and the ones who do be, are probably not going to mingle with someone from the hitman team.

Prosciutto:

- smokes like a chimney (when stressed)and prob a big coffee drinker, i cant imagine finding that pleasant when kissing

- Cheapskate for anything that isnt him. He will buy those gucci socks, for himself.Depending on how much worth he places on the “bitches” hell either flaunt money but share none or hand u a generous tip of 5 lire and tell u to get urself someting nice:)

- Has this sense of entitlement worse than illuso, and also a bit of a saviour complex.Sure on the surface it might come off as him being patient and wating to provide for the crush, unfortunately this manifests through him controlling not only what you do but your opinion on any matter too.Should you speak / act out of line, you now have to redeem urself by kissing ass :/

- everything becomes monitored too.Hes basically in the mindset of training this person to be his ideal from the getgo. Isnt that so wonderfull.

- Imagine if your s/o bitched abt everything you do like a strict parent… how hot…😒

- Kinda misogynistic ngl, even by the standarts of then, hes got a very set way of thinking and acting around someone depending on their gender. Now if you happen to be nonbinary, depending on “which side of the scale you lean on” and by that i mean if prosciutto considers you more masc / fem leaning he will treat you as such.neither side is more torelable than the other, hes temperamental as shit.

- Reeks of that toxic masculinity, i can therefore say this man will never show an ounce of vulnerability thats genuine.ever.

- He cares abt his outward appearance to a point where he deadass cant take a joke.Its fine if he picks on how you dress but for someone to do that to him??? No.

- Also has a bit of a substance problem. I headcanon him as enjoying a little bit of that cocaina and some opium from time to time.

Illuso:

- hes just a massive dickhead all year round

- Snoops worse than the rats in your walls ONG

- Zero privacy with this guy, he knows exactly what you’re doing all the time and will use that to pull shitty pranks on you

- He will also use said knowlege to your disadvantage. Cant back out of his dates due to a “tight schedule” because he knows everything you do in a week and should you try to bluff him HE WILL KNOW.Throws a tantrum like no other if you dont wanna hang out with him.

- Will guilttrip you into oblivion.Theres also a chance of him verbally and physically bullying you as means of all the attention to be on him.

- Believes hes a god sent gift to the world.why are you laughing???? Hes hot shit???

- Gaslighting is his middle name. Illuso cant take rejection at all, he cant accept someone he finds attractive to not feel the same about him.

- Narcissistic and a liar. He gives me the vibe of someone who will not tell you anything truthfull about what he does and who he is and thats due to both his workfield scaring off potential “bitches” and because he think no matter the person, theyll try to manipulate him into doing something he doesnt want/ useless to him.

- Possesiveness issues. Hell deny it into oblivion but the apple of his eye is his and his only- his jealousy knows no bounds so should you literally care abt anything or someone else hell turn it into a “its all about illuso” moment.

- Oh , youre getting all dolled up to go out, its for illuso. Reading a book? Youre doing it for him to notice!Shivering because you are cold?? You want him to come and hold you. Mind you theres a 50/50 chance hes applying said thinking to someone who is unaware of his existence.just like Ghiaccio.yikes.

Melone:

- his criminal record

- Depraved mf worse than the guys youd find on 4chan

- The type of guy you never want to own favours to under any circumstances

- he is a noncon enthusiast ,i wont elaborate

- Foot fetish . No.just no. Out of all body parts???? Really??!?!

- Lets not even talk abt his stand we all know they r meant to represent the persons soul…..so his just erm 👁👁

- To add to that, hes a bit of a psychpath, in the sense that as much as he seems eager to jump into someones pants, he lacks in the “human connection “ department.

- Idk man Melone gives me the vibes of an individual who can act normal but thats it, its all an “act”. His affections and speech is very coordinated, almost as if hes running an experiment with the person he finds attractive.You can sense that the persona he give off is not genuine, rather scripted- and it probably is because he fails to understand emotions to begin with.This will make you uncomfortable so kudos to that :(.

- Big time commitment issues. The probability of him seeking out several “bitches” at the same time in the same place is 99% likely and has in the past lead people into a sense of trust and security only to pull back and act like theyre a total stranger.

- His opinion changes like the weather depending on who he talks to. Melone has the ability to agree and disagree about a topic in the same sentence. Sure he can pick up on the topic and be quite informative,as long as its factual information.This can be a bitch to deal with if you ask him anything or are Ghia and wanna vent out your frustrations.

- Will definetly not care about your boundaries. The scary part is hell twist it so that should you try to protest or bring it up, itll fall on deaf ears.

- Got in trouble in the past for slipping drugs into peoples drinks to watch and see what happens for his own entertaintment,including his coworkers outside misions.

- He also wont hesitate to hack any device you use as means to finding blackmail in case you try anything funny.(and take some dna for babyface if he really considers you a nuisance)

Formaggio:

- personal hygiene has left the chat, id be very wary to shaking hands with this mofo becus he does not wash his hands, let alone anything else

- Probably makes very crude jokes at the worse moments in convos

- He also gives me the vibes of that kid in the neighbourhood who killed small animals and set fire to shit for fun.He prob still does this (this is supported by the spider torture scene and the fact that he treat his cat like shit)

- His pickup lines suck ass, you will visibly cringe

- Sneaky bastard, anyone who catches his attention has at some point or another been spooken by his ability to appear at any given moments due to his stand.Good luck trying to hide something from him or talk shit.Will also use his ability to be a complete creep and compliment how you smell of your underwear choice, even if you ,a, never uttered a word to him or ,b, were nowhere close near him…..yeh..

- Hes the one who will kiss ass so much to a point where everything he does and says ends up making him look slightly unhinged and desperate.Not below straight up pestering you until you finally agree to something ( sex or doing what he wants)

- He sure talks an awaful lot but thats about it. The old bark and no bite kinda deal. He will take you out to expensive dinner he says and then he takes you to the cheapest bar he can get drunk at, only to make you stop bringing his promises up again.Will act a stranger to your dissatisfaction!

- A bit of a leech. Hes known to have broken into his crushes house to “borrow something”, yes your valubles and underwear are gone.

- Good luck living with him because he doesnt pick up after himself at all.He makes the kitchen and bathroom a health hazard AND doesnt flush the toilet either.

- Another one with trust issues. Because hes a nuisance and a bit insecure ( but to lazy to put in the effort) hes bound to blame other people for things he does and will be very quick to accuse a person of not being faithful, even if theres zero evidence.Rebutting this will be hard and he can only be shot down by doing what he wants, and apologising even if you did nothing wrong.

- Hates being given the cold shoulder and will call you every name in the book if you dont stop.

- Will act clueless when things get hectic and only apologise after theres no chance of fixing it. “Sorry about the toaster bbygorl dw ill buy you another”. He wont, but will get mad about not getting to enjoy toast at your place anymore.

- Like Illuso he can be a bully. Will mock and pick on you to get a rise outta you and to make his teammates laugh. He will pretend like nothing is wrong AND get butthurt if you pull away from him when he wants a kiss.

Ghiaccio:

- ……… where do i start

- That scowl alone is enough honestly

- Hes got the posture of a shrimp, so fine so curved ( bitch me too) and its all because of his laptop use.

- I can see him try to impress someone by bitching abt something to appear smart but it ends up in a one way convo, even if you try to join in he cuts you off or talks over you

- Overly cocky . I applaud his determination to be the best™️ in everything he does- heres the problem, no body likes a smartass with a temperament aqute to that of a Tasmanian devil.

- Assumes things about his potential love interest but never actually asks whether or not said presumptions are true or false. And he never will, unless you spell it out for him due to his inability to admit he could ever be wrong about what their fav activities are, after all HE picked this person and HE knows best.

- He believes he can read a person to filth. Sure that may be true regarding anything to do with his work aka body language and weaknesses- but that doesn’t necessarily apply to personal stuff sooo….

- Issues with control. Ghiaccio will always have the upper hand in his relationship or so help whoever happens to be the closest to him.Genuinely cant envision this man feeling comfortable if the crush happens to be a bit more on the independent side of tings.As much as hed love a debate buddy hed rather you just agree with him so he can get to his point.

- And the funny part is that he’s probably a big hypocrite with that too.Ah the double standard of having to please a man who cant admit anyone being better than him yet at the same time wants somebody who he can swing about like a trophy and tell the rest of his teammates that they can shove it up their ass cuz “hes got the hottest bitch, and it wasn’t by means of money or threatening, its because hes JUST SO DAMN BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE”

- Ghiaccio’s keen eye and expertise in the how “to get bitches “ means he’s already on his third honeymoon with the love of his life who can only be so happy they get to fuck him and be tolerated by him and ooo theyre in the bedroom and-

- Have I mentioned this process of thinking is taking place whilst lurking and stalking the person rather than being a normal human being and just go and have a chat? Oh I haven’t? It’s probably because the ice gremlin has gone a few steps ahead of his plan but forgot to actually touch base with said person and is instead intently staring at them like a maniac without blinking.From across the room.Even Melone is throwing him side glances.

-Physical touch. Has a habit of being grabby should the crush show a smidge of interest in him.Ice boy will take every opportunity to have some part of him touching the person, annoyingly so, because he himself is touched starved.Dont try to reciprocate said touch unless you’re planning to be smothered consistently by his advances.If you’re thinking its soft uwu touches you’re very wrong. His composure makes it seem like he’s challenging you to a fight more than asking to snuggle.Very anxiety inducing and rather hard to get out of his grip once he has you.

- Lord forbid his target is talking to another person he deems a threat because hes prone to start fights and has ended many with plenty of people having a trip to the ER

- he drives with pure unadulterated malice and will curve swerve every chance he gets so any bitch he does get will definitely end up with severe nausea and promptly make an exit turn the moment they get out the car.

Sorbet and Gelato:

-Deadass, if they’re seeking anyone, that person will go missing.

- They have each other, thats facts, they are the bitches, the gay bitches.good for them

-I dont think anyone is capable of dealing with these two because all they care about is money and violence, anything else is considered unnecessary and a waste of time.

- Any “bitches” desiring their affections will be shot down on the spot, with a gun.Most likely by Gelato because hes a very possessive and jealous mf.Sorbet is very aware of this and unless hes bored and wants to see some discourse, he will be very unapproachable to a point where you have to be void of any fight or flight instinct to get close.

-Theyre a couple with a lack of care to anyone who doesn’t provide them with money, entertainment or drugs and the only affection they show is to one another.Any unlucky soul who somehow ended up in their bedroom will die miserably.

-Sadists with a capital ,s, if theyre down to be part of the hitman team for financial gain do you honestly believe they have any consideration for peoples lives, let alone their feelings???? Yeah no.

-Dont you also find it quite interesting that they were the first of the squadra to go?? Like for a second there sure, “it’s because they tried to get information” on diavolo, but I also have a feeling they could’ve been a genuine threat to the boss.I like to believe that if they didnt get offed so quickly, the way the squadra organised their traitor plans would’ve probably earned more damage to the Passione’s business than even Bruno’s team.

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dootznbootz · 4 months

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I'm moody and grumpy and sick so I'm going to be a freak about writing for a bit.

I fucking love writing PEOPLE. like as a whole. I love writing little imperfect messy living moments. People aren't perfect. Never will be. Never SHOULD be. And I fucking LOVE writing that. Even the "unnecessary details" feel necessary to me because they're HUMAN.

Spilling food on yourself. Getting food stuck in your teeth and maybe making funny faces while you're trying to get it out. Mentioning a silly moment from their youth in teasing. A disagreement. Putting on clothes and getting your arm stuck in your sleeve at first. "Ugly laughter". Losing your train of thought and saying nonsense while snapping fingers to try and get your thoughts back. Hugging someone taller than you and maybe having to change how you stand to fit together. Accidentally stepping on someone's foot. Bedhead, fixing someone's clothes, double chins, clumsy moments, Shifting, fidgeting, having someone mimic another's voice to make someone laugh, LIVING THINGS lksjdf ldskjf THINGS THAT MAKE US HUMAN!!!

And like?? A small thing, as I said I love just writing PEOPLE. But I see posts sometimes about how people "have a hard time writing women" and I'm just sitting here like??? "She's a person?? You've met another person before, right? Write the same way." and just get boggled and even, I don't know, disappointed? Even if she's not part of the main "cast" have her be, idk human?? Not just cardboard you know?? Don't "girlboss" her but also just?? simply have her have life!

Or then I've seen people literally admit "Well with canon there's not much to work with the women" WELL THEN MAKE STUFF UP!!! Use your big brain and have headcanons for her! See the potential she already has and fly with it!!! :D

How many times has she spilled food on her clothes and groaned because it's her favorite? How many times has she had snarled hair? She's probably had something in her eye at some point. She's probably tripped and skinned her knee once or twice. Does she swear? How would she react in this situation?

And sometimes I'll see people use history as an excuse or whatever but like??? Even IF systematically women weren't treated well, that wasn't the rule for ALL. For example, in the USA, Women usually couldn't go out in public in pants during certain periods. Yet I have photos of family from the 1930s where there are women in pants. Little girls and their mothers literally using a two-person saw and on the farm in pants. Just because the system is sexist doesn't mean that men in women's lives always enforce it. Just like nowadays. Reproductive rights. That's systematic. Daily life? I feel plenty safe with a lot of regular ass dudes. SAME BACK THEN MOST LIKELY!!!

Idk y'all. I'm just... disappointed by how many times I come across this type of stuff :/

#I wrote this a while ago but I saw another post about how it's hard to write women and I'm mad.#I'm sick as well so yeah. woe be upon ye #It's... just...SO important to me that I write women as more than just a “caregiver” role you know?#If she IS a mother and wife and that's ALL you have her doing??? I'm MAD #I've seen that WAY too often >:( I'm writing a sickfic right now. and it made me realize how few fics have the MEN taking care of women #it's not bad!!! It's just something I've noticed. adn it makes me sad. just a lil bit.#Mad rambles #rant #vent #sldkfj dskf #it's funny because I'm literally like. “What are her goals?” get it all down and it's a bunch of stuff. His goals? “WIFE”.#I'm joking but you know #I didn't bring up gnc folks because that's a completely different discussion. Still important but I'm venting about a specific #post. >:(#also I'm sleepy and being crabby. Please forgive me

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sometimes-men-need-help-too · 1 year

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@egalitarianchica sent me the links to this post and on Instagram

So this wife was posting on the relationship advice sub on reddit because she was upset with how her husband had taken her ‘joke.’ She went on to say in the original post how he’d complimented another co-worker’s lunch (which the co-workers wife packed for him). She thought it was disrespectful because she (OP) packs her husband’s lunch. He tried asking why it was disrespectful but stopped and they went to bed. The next day she was packing his lunch and decided to be petty so this would teach him to appreciate her lunches more. She packed him a clean diaper in his lunch (but made it appear as if it were full). She also says she didn’t fully do it out of anger.

Well it seems that i messed up majorly because hes extremely cold, first thing he asked when he came back from work was "do you feel avenged? You satisfied now? Laugh, go on" and went to play with our daughter. He responds if I ask him something but doesnt look at me let alone touch me. This morning when I was making breakfast i went to pack his lunch and he took it from me and told me hed rather starve than take anything I made again.

Hes not responding to texts (like have a good day texts I usually send him) and I just feel very down and I know it was petty but isnt he taking it a bit too hard?

There’s a bit of clarification in the comments. A lot of people were wondering what he said to make her upset and she said that they were just talking about lunches in general and he said that his co-workers lunch looked beautiful but hard to eat (his co-worker has a bento box and apparently there was a lot of food in it). She added that she didn’t pack any food in his lunch, just the diaper.

Some people were upset because she’s packing his lunch and wondering why a grown man can’t do it himself. That really isn’t the point. There’s nothing with (in this case) a wife packing her husband's lunch. It’s one thing if she was forced to or he wasn’t being appreciative, but that isn’t the case. She even said that she doesn’t mind doing it; she’s on maternity leave and she’s already making breakfast at that time anyway. Normally, she said, he does do it himself. He meal preps and packs it.

She went on to blame her post partum hormones for this, because she wasn’t upset when she woke up, just when she remembered it as she was doing his lunch.

What baffled me was seeing so many people who think they’re both at fault here. Her for obvious reasons and him for his reaction. Some said that he reacted immaturely and should have just laughed off the joke.

He is allowed to be upset. Now if he continues to just ignore her then that would be a problem. But I don’t understand why other people are acting like he’s in the wrong. How would you feel if your S/O embarrassed you for no reason?

Let’s go over the facts again:

- He made an innocent comment. He did not try to make her feel guilty for the lunches she provided nor did he demand that she do better. It was nowhere near disrespectful

- He was most likely embarrassed. Someone at his work probably saw the diaper

- He might not have been able to eat for a certain period of time. She doesn’t mention if he bought food or not so we don’t know

- She doesn’t fully take accountability. I wasn’t even sure she felt remorseful. It doesn’t sound like it in the original post. Not until I read one of her comments where she’s expressing frustration at how many people are focusing on her making his lunch and she says she wants to fix this. Furthermore, the blame can’t lie solely on her hormones. Hormones aren’t an excuse. Yes, they can contribute to things but that still means you have to take accountability for what you do and say

#mens rights #double standards

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marshmallowloves · 1 year

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Finally came up with a decent ref for Cesylia, my Fates self insert! Fatesona? Corrin…sona? I dunno but! I'm pleased with how she looks~ (not gonna shade it right now tho cause I'm tired fjdsfhg)

She mainly uses ice magic, though she does still wield the Yato and can transform into a dragon. I figure having ice still makes sense, even though she's part Silent Dragon and the Vallite family has the whole water thing going on - ice is just frozen water after all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Cesylia is a softie who gives "why can't we be friends" Corrin a run for their money. She'll always try to be civil and kind, but she's not a total pushover. When kindness is truly no longer an option, she is willing to stand up for herself and fight, but she'll definitely exhaust every other alternative first. This is also pretty apparent when it comes to a certain...prickly Hoshidan prince, who has a very hard time understanding why in the world she keeps being nice to him despite his bitterness towards her (but dw he gets over it…mostly)

I also spent way too much time coming up with a background that both suits her and tries to fix some of the dumb stuff about Fates' story, while keeping other parts I like ksdjfg. I tried my best to condense it, I really did - but the story of Fates is so long and complicated I found it hard to keep it under a few paragraphs while explaining everything. -u-; I'll put it under the cut if anyone's interested~

One thing I will say here is that she and the Hoshidan siblings know they're not related from the very beginning. I'm still confused how anyone in canon wholeheartedly believed this actual dragon lady who looks nothing like them and has a distinctly non-Japanese (sorry, non-Hoshidan) name is their blood sibling. Someone had to have suspected something at some point, come on now dkjfhg

Cesylia was born in Valla to Anankos and Mikoto. Mikoto prophesized that one day Anankos's degeneration would bring about the destruction of several worlds, so they worked to bestow an incredible power onto their child that would lay dormant until that day, where it would awaken itself and stop the catastrophe. However, they kept it a secret, even to Cesylia herself, because it has the potential to be as destructive as what it's meant to prevent.

Mikoto later flees to Hoshido, marrying Sumeragi after the death of his first wife, and Cesylia spends her very early childhood there. One of Garon's spies learns of her power, and when Sumeragi visits Nohr to discuss a peace treaty, Garon kills him and kidnaps Cesylia, hoping to harness the power for himself. She spends the rest of her childhood and early adulthood in solitude, locked away in a fortified tower in Castle Krakenburg, where she's periodically subject to "trials" by Garon's sorcerers to try and force out her power. She's often visited by the Nohrian siblings, who care for and bond with her while she's confined but have no idea what's really happening.

Hoshidan soldiers later strike, successfully recovering Cesylia and Azura, but the celebration is short-lived as Mikoto is soon killed by a Nohrian assassin. Hoshido makes their counterattack and meets the Nohrian royals on the battlefield. With a heavy heart, Cesylia chooses to stay in Hoshido - she doesn't want to go through the painful trials again, and fears that if the Nohrian siblings try to help, they'll be put in danger for standing against their corrupt father.

When Cesylia is back in Hoshido, she's treated very differently than she remembers - she's constantly doted on, and Ryoma in particular is overly protective of her. Prior to their infiltration of Castle Krakenburg, Mikoto had entrusted Ryoma with the knowledge of her prophetic vision and Cesylia's power. She tasked him and his siblings with guarding Cesylia with their lives, so that she may live to stop the catastrophe when it comes.

After that, she basically follows the plot of the game…s? listen I'm a big dumb baby and I don't want anyone to die so I honestly have no idea what to do after that. As I said, I tried to condense it, so there's more little details I didn't put here, but I like what I have here~ -u-

#I have a LOT more bits and pieces about her/her story #but this post is already so long #and I doubt people wanna read all that kdjfg #Cesylia #self insert #my art #fire emblem #fire emblem fates #fe fates #fe:if #fe14 #fatesona #corrin #fe corrin

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dragonmuse · 2 years

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Could you tell us more about your running? Why you do it, what it means to you, and if you want, your typical mileage/paces?

I can! It's a long explanation, sorry. You may all have noticed I don't do concise really.

Content warning: health and weight talk to follow (no specific numbers mentioned)

I am not a natural athlete to start with and I much prefer curling up on my couch then working out much of the time. Periodically over the last decade or so, I have re-resolved myself and managed to make it a few months before falling off again.

Then the pandemic happened. And my blood pressure, never awesome, started to soar. I was working full time as was my husband and we had a kid at home, so like for so many of us, it was pretty stressful and my relationship with food went totally toxic. On the plus side though, I was working out my gender identity, was back in therapy for the first time since my teens and got over a seventeen year paralyzing fear of the dentist to finally get my teeth fixed.

I arrived in February this year the largest I've ever been and probably the most mentally healthy I'd been in a decade. I don't mind being fat, I've been some level of fat my entire adult life. So none of this was in the goal to become less fat, I want to be amply clear on that. It's a byproduct, but not the goal.

The goal was twofold, to build a better relationship with food and to get my blood pressure down as much as I can naturally. I will go on meds if required, but would love to put it off if I can. My doctor thinks this is possible, so I'm operating under her guidance (plus some common sense, someone save us all from doctors who think fast, extreme weight loss is a good thing).

So I bought the cheapest pair of running shoes that still looked like they'd hold up and set out. I started with a couch to five k program and on completion just kept going.

Why running?

I can just step outside my front door and do it. I live in a quiet neighborhood and that's where I do all my running. Just me and whatever other suburban dweller is out getting in their morning air.

I hate gyms. I don't want to go to a class or be taught how to use a machine. Working out already makes me feel vulnerable, I do not wish to interface with anyone else.

I have, against all odds, come to enjoy doing it. This didn't happen the last two times I tried this and I think it was because of the treadmill. This year I have run through rain, freezing and melting temperatures and I have no regrets. I really prefer being outside and there is something exhilarating about taking your frail human meat sack out into the elements and saying 'ha! I am capable of running down a sprinting prey animal out of sheer endurance, not that I would, but you know the theory is sound'.

I can totally disassociate at a certain point. A lot of exercise requires you to be very present. As long as I'm paying enough attention not to get hit by a car or fall over, I can think about what the hell Izzy or Eddy or someone else is up to and daydream my way through working out. It's awesome and has made many words flow.

So what does it mean to me? It means trying to stay on this fucked up planet as long as I can for my kid. Yes, I like feeling healthy for myself blah blah blah, but I brought my kid into the world and I'll be damned if I'm leaving him a parent short for even a minute longer than I have to. This is survival, baby. I ain't eating this much fucking salad because it's fun.

And...okay yeah, it means that I'm proud of myself every time I do it. Every time I get up and move this shambling mortal shell and make it do things it couldn't do even a few months ago is pretty cool, I guess.

As far as mileage and pace, I am so fucking slow, but I am getting faster! Mileage is also building up. I run two to three times on a weekday at about 15:45 a mile for two and a half miles. On Saturdays when I have more time, I go for three and a half miles and last time I got to 15:09 a mile which was frankly miraculous. In March I was lucky to get under 17 minutes for two miles, so I'm pretty pleased with that progress.

Right now, I'm trying to build endurance and speed very slowly. I don't really have time to go for a long run more than once a week, but my next goal is to hit four miles on a Saturday and maybe get a 14 minute mile going.

Also, no one asked, but I listened to an 80s cardio station on pandora for the first few months and that's where most of the titles for the stories came from. Recently switched to the larger mix of a running channel to change things up.

#running #and writing a little I suppose

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valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn · 2 years

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What's your ranking of Stephens in MoM (zombie and 838 included 😉)?

Oh the variants! It's completely unnatural how much I loved them considering they were only on screen for a short period of time. You know me, this got long. And needless to say, lots of spoilers ahead.

Defender is my #1, hands down, I loved him immediately. I love that side of Stephen where he's not your typical hero, he's prepared to do certain things that would be morally reprehensible but his job is to protect the multiverse. He can't always take the easy route or give himself the luxury of wondering whether what he's about to do is right or wrong, he sort of approaches that kind of dilemma like he used to operate on patients: there's something wrong and it needs fixing so he's almost clinical in its precision when it comes to making decisions. Doesn't mean they're always the correct ones though.

Clearly taking America's power (thus, killing her) was wrong but if that being had taken her power, what would have happened? It's a tough call and I get that. I also love that our Stephen solves that dilemma by surrendering control and allowing someone else to fix the problem (I can't believe there are people out there saying he has no development in this movie!). Also, since Marvel wants to keep our Stephen as a hero they had a little more leeway when it comes to Defender and they showed him doing something morally bad, I liked that.

838 is probably my #2. I'm not a big fan, in fact I always hate it when one character goes off the rails and the only resolution there is, is to kill him. I can somewhat understand from the Illuminati's perspective that they were all working together and Stephen went into it alone, knowing the risks and yet doing it anyway and causing the death of an entire universe in the process. That was obviously the wrong thing to do, but the greatest thing What If did was show us that another similar Stephen also destroyed an entire reality, his own, but he found redemption in the end. It would have made a lot more sense if that Stephen had acknowledged his mistake, learnt from it and he had been the one to tell our Stephen the story.

Also it's kind of hypocritical that Charles says that line about someone who stumbles is not lost forever when they doomed 838 Stephen after the use of the Darkhold. Did they even tell him about the Book of Vishanti? Because our Stephen thought it didn't exist (Wong knew about it, though).

Then Sinister Strange... he has so much in common with What If Stephen (he even says his line at some point) but it's not the same guy and that was a huge disappointment for me. Not his fault, that's just me. I love the way Ben portrayed him though, the things that man does with his voice... you could feel how old and tired he felt and how careless he had became. And I loved that he asked our Stephen if he had ever had a dream where he's falling from a tall building... because that's exactly how he dies. Premonition or not it sounded so creepy. They went for something similar to the confrontation in What If between "good" Stephen and "bad" Stephen but I just feel they failed in the execution. I liked him but... not quite, that's why he's my last one.

Oh and I almost forgot Zombie! My beloved. Well, he's basically our Stephen but in a dead body. I liked the poetry of MCU Stephen choosing not to take America's power while possessing the body of a variant of his that had tried to do just that. Making a cloak out of the souls of the damned was badass as hell (ha, pun) but there isn't much to discuss about him given that the poor thing was dead.

#doctor strange #stephen strange #multiverse of madness

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homoeroticsubplot · 1 year

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room on fire, 2 and 4

2: What scene did you first put down?

I wrote RoF in what was essentially a 36-hour period, so I don't remember what came first for certain, but I'm pretty sure it was this, the second break in the fic:

It’s not always bad. With a little time, it all becomes manageable. It’s just the way we live now, after a while.

...

Rose plates the eggs, breaking a little piece off to give to Bagel. She puts one in front of Emily, and sits down next to her at the countertop. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry.” She can’t fathom eating right now, not when she feels like stepping down from the stool will suck her through the floor and away from everything she’s ever worked for.

Rose splits Emily’s portion of eggs down the middle, dumping one of the halves onto her own plate. It makes everything more manageable.

“I know. We’ll be alright.”

The entire fulcrum of the fic was meant to be the communication between Rose and Emily, where they go wrong and how they fix it. Even for an established relationship fic, I wanted it to be clear from the jump to the audience that Rose was fully invested in the relationship, come hell or high water, and Son was our semi-unreliable narrator. The love for Rose is not the main point of the story, but it's almost the setting for it. Emily adores Rose, even when she's hesitant about their relationship. When Emily says she couldn't hurt Rose in the sequel, we believe it. Emily loves Rose. Rose will give Emily anything she thinks she can give. They're apologetic, but they both try to make their own shit as manageable for the other person as they can. This is where I began, and where everything was built going forward.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

I love talking about dialogue and prose, and I LOVE this question for Room on Fire, which is centered around conversations. I’m going to be insufferable about this and answer it a few ways:

I think my favorite piece of dialogue outright is from the end, either this sequence: “It’s not an engagement ring, by the way.” ”It’s not?” “It’s anything you want it to be, baby.” Emily says, her smirk spreading even wider. “Well, maybe not a chastity ring. I know how you catholics are about-” “Literally shut up.” or the almost immediately after “Something that made me yours?” Rose supplies, quietly, trying to veer them into familiar territory. Emily’s eyes darken and her mouth twitches, just a little. “You and I both know a ring doesn’t make you mine.”

They’re playing a game here, where they’re shifting back and forth from best friends, to people that sleep together, to people that want a future together. Loving someone like they do is exactly that; best friends who sleep together and trust each other and bicker and get through it and love each other all the more coming out the other side. They’re telling each other they want a future together without having to say it out loud, at least knowing peripherally that the other is thinking about it and confirming that they’re both fully invested in the relationship. It ends with them being responsible therapy goers and being explicit, but even before they say it forthright, we the audience know where this is going. They’re going to have sex, they’re going to make each other breakfast, they’re going to take every step to immesh their lives together that they think they can get away with. A ring doesn’t make Rose Emily’s. Rose has always been Emily’s, because Rose chose to come to Marietta, and Emily is finally at place where she’s so at peace with herself that she can say it to herself and to Rose without making herself nervous about it. These lines are the culmination of a lot, and a few months later, I’m happy with them.

The most important line in the fic, or at least the line I want everyone to say out loud to themselves as many times as they need, is this from Dr. Joshua: “You didn’t come into this world fucked up, Emily. No one does. It wasn’t your fault. You were just a kid trying to be good.”

My mom wasn’t around a lot when I was little. My dad was extremely strict, and the second my mom got home, he would make us stand in front of the stairs while he would tell her every bad thing my brother and I had done since she’d left. Most of my childhood memories have to do with the feeling of shame, and the waiting for something horrible to come from it. I wanted my mom to love me and to be proud of me more than I wanted anything in the world, and I became this really frightened, nervous, quiet kid who would panic anytime I thought I was failing at something. All these years later, I’m still this quiet, easily frightened person who desperately wants the affirmation and love of others, even though I never feel like I’ve done enough to deserve it. I’m still standing at the base of the stairs, waiting for all my misdeeds to be said aloud and for everyone to shame me and leave. I wrote this piece of dialogue after I found some of my journal entries from when I was 6, 8, 11, all saying some iteration of “I’m a bad kid and I need to get better.” I wasn’t bad. I was a little kid. I try to be good, and just by virtue of trying, we are good. There’s nothing inherently wrong with me. It’s just my own brain trying to hurt itself. I know my audience, and I know what it’s like to grow up queer in a house that wasn’t built to accommodate that. You’re not fucked up. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re still worth loving, and however you were treated as a kid isn’t your fault. You were just a kid trying to be good. You’re still just a kid trying to be good. And you are. The people who love you know that. You can rest now.

The line I really loved but felt very under-the-rug was this one by Rose at the beginning of the ring scene: “Whatever you’re trying to apologize to me for, Sonny, it’s okay.”

In Candlewax & Polaroids, I get into the backstory and Rose’s side of the relationship. She’s a kind and logical person, so it’s not a revelation that she’s willing to forgive whatever Emily’s done, even though she is very stubborn. The big thing about this line is that Rose is able to recognize and say it. She knew about Emily’s anxiety. She knew about Emily’s attraction to her. She knows what Emily is trying to work through. She’s trying to give her space, but she’s obviously rehearsed all these things to say or how to handle this aspect of their relationship. And she’ll never point it out or make Emily feel apologetic for it. She loves Emily. It doesn’t matter whatever Emily is hiding from her, because she loves her, and in the most clear sense of it, she’s already forgiven her. The door is open and the house is warm, Emily doesn’t need to punish herself and stay outside. It’s all okay. (C&P part 2 will get into this scene more, but I’m not giving any spoilers).

This was super fun to think about. Thank you for sending an ask! Thank you for reading the fic, and this far in response! Take care, bud.

#fic: room on fire #asks #answered

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allfillernothriller · 26 minutes

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Welcome to Unhinged Hours, a series of posts that will be tagged as such in which I will overshare my cringiest and most awkward thoughts because I've no self-control over my need to vent. And who knows. Might help someone else.

Unhinged Hours #1

Don't mind the dubious syntax and weird grammar.

[cw brief mention of abuse]

When I was 17-19, I was mortified to discover I was attracted to (much) older people. During my early twenties, the majority of my crushes were in their thirties. I knew the age gap was too big and I was too young, so I did nothing about them and naively thought this was something that would fix itself with time. I thought "at least I know I find people in their thirties attractive so I just have to wait to reach mine and date people my age then" (lmao good one past me). Well. As I'm inching ever closer to said thirties, it's more and more evident that the issue clearly did NOT fix itself, those old crushes are nearing their forties and I haven't stopped carrying them in my heart. They're attractive in new ways. When I look at pics from back when I first developed a crush, I find that my current 27yo self isn't physically attracted to their 32yo self I was originally attracted to anymore. And I know for a fact that 21yo me wouldn't have found 38yo [redacted] hot. But current me is still attracted to current them (38yo [redacted] is indeed very hot). And you might wonder what's the issue here, so lemme tell you. I've been frequenting online feminist spaces for a decade. I've read countless accounts of teenage girls and young women who were manipulated and abused by older partners. I've read an inordinate amount of warnings, the gist of all of them being “don't date older folks during your formative years, don't believe them when they call you 'mature for your age'”. And let me be crystal clear — I still think it's relevant and infinitely important to relay those accounts and protect girls and young women, and help them spot red flags and predatory patterns. It absolutely is, I am not blaming feminism for my existential struggles. I am simply giving you context. The thing is, I've internalised this as “don't ever pursue older folks, period” (which is a completely different thing, I knew that then and still know it now but couldn't help it) and as a result I've been lugging around self-inflicted guilt and shame for years (and don't I love the internalised biphobia that adds to it when the person happens to be a man /s). And these crushes I've been telling you about? They're one-sided! They've never expressed any interest, so that's always been a safe situation for me, but did that prevent any self-loathing from taking roots in my brain? Course it didn't! I can't seem to shake the feeling that there's something wrong with me and I've grown tired of this. Scolding myself over human emotions is getting fucking old.

That brings me to today's crisis — at which point in one's life does it get easier to accept? How old is old enough to stop caring about the age gap? When will I stop blaming myself? How do I drop the guilt?

Because if it was "just" the fact that I'm still swooning over the same people (who are now soon-to-be 40), that would be too easy, wouldn't it? But nooo I just had to go and get a new crush on someone who's already in their forties. Where does this end, please?

(You might've noticed that the overuse of the word 'crush' and choosing to focus on the physical aspect of attraction here is a poor attempt at a euphemism. I mean some of them are simple crushes, as for the others... past a certain point, still calling them crushes is just denial on my part. I'm basically fooling myself.)

“This is a crisis. A large crisis. In fact, if you've got a moment, it's a twelve-storey crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeting throughout, 24-hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof saying 'this is a Large Crisis'.” (Blackadder Goes Forth, ep. 6)

#questions I'm gonna regret asking #I still get crushes on ppl my age! it's just if there was a pie chart representing my crushes the biggest slice would be older peeps #and that's been concerning me for so many years #and it's getting more and more unclear how founded and relevant that concern is as I grow older myself #very confusing to note that my overall taste in ppl has changed overtime and yet #and yet I'm crushing on the same ppl I was crushing on in my early twenties #oh you must have so many questions... well let's just say I wasn't trying to be funny when I said I had romantic orientationS #emphasis on the plural #trying not to think too closely about the...#forbidden 44yo crush #unhinged hours #this is a large crisis #being engaged and still experiencing the joys of pining. poly thing ig?#oh no look who's rambling in the tags again #I promise I will find a way to elaborate on those romantic orientationS + crushes + my engagement that won't make me sound like a madman

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thelostroad · 9 months

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It feels like it’s not the typical experience sometimes when I’m thinking about my journey towards family estrangement. In so many examples, I think what tends to be a prominent version is someone who does wish they had a better relationship with family, and there are various trials of maybe trying to improve things, or low contact and being apart for the sake of minimizing harm/conflict, but in general maybe a vacillating goal of resolution—sometimes this is escaped in cases of extreme abuse, but other times, tbh, not; it’s perfectly common as well for people from abusive families to still have a torn conviction or choose/want to maintain some level of relationship, or to seek healing or lowest maintainable contact or similar. [A note I forgot to add: this may precede a complete or more severe estrangement/severance, too; it’s not like these are always the only thing and it is forever ongoing and accepted.]

It’s something I’ve become familiar with and have gotten a measure of understanding of, but I also cannot fathom relating that same framework to my own situation. I often feel uncomfortable or at odds knowing this about myself, because there is (I think) so little about my family that could be cast as abusive, if any aspects even were, despite my feelings, and I have certainly not experienced many of the myriad horrific violences, violations, and grievous/injurious harms that many children of abuse have (or continue to). I see these people fighting to get wholly out from often very early on; and I see them going back and forth on how much distance they want from their abusers (some of whom maybe haven’t hurt them actively since childhood, perhaps); and I see them loving or mourning and having attachment to their families; and I see them completely cutting them off in adulthood or having strict low-contact boundaries while also allowing a minimum, or still making an occasional concession, or wishing things could be different. And I feel weird even framing these other experiences; they’re all obviously not actually capturable in these short phrases, and have depth and complexity, and in some places overlap, and for a lot probably don’t represent an actual contentment or satisfaction with a situation just because it is the one present. I know that, and I see all variety of iterations and experiences with people dear to me, and have long since determined that I will in no case judge or question or dismiss any of them.

But I feel dissonant for being different. Not something that I can frame as worse or better; and I don’t think even my actual experiences are anything that probably many of my peers and friends can relate to, contexts and all? But I still can’t understand it in an “I relate”/empathy/would do the same way, which feels uncomfortable and like I’m not sure if I should be guilty or if I’m wrong or what it is. All the pieces, I think, are things that I think will be shared in both cases and with which I am frequently able to relate: guilt, hesitance, trepidation of how one will be seen, worry about the effect it has on estranged person, moral ambiguity, reliance, resentment, tiredness, a distance between the worst harm and the person at the state they are, some measure of appreciation, not sure how it would affect other family members, the concern of giving things up. But the part I struggle to reconcile is that I’ve never not been sure it’s what I want.

Once or twice there’s been points at which I’ve debated whether it will be worth it. There was a period in childhood, I’m not sure for how long—maybe for longer than I think, to be honest—where I wanted, at least sometimes, a version of my family that was better, or where certain things were fixed or healed or better. There’s been a point in my life for which I wanted my parents to love and accept me, and predicted continuing to have a relationship with them. But at some point, I don’t know when, that period ended finitely and completely. And once it did, from whenever that was onward, my entire life ongoing has never once involved wavering or hesitation in knowing—like Knowing knowing, an absolute end goal that was inherent to any vision of my future, in all iterations, no caveats—that the life I intend for myself is to not have my family in it. Period. Always! And I don’t know how to integrate this alongside the narratives I encounter or express it cohesively.

Since deciding to make this an imminent goal earlier this year, the closest I’ve got to capturing it is comparing it to dysphoria. Because to me it does feel the same: the idea of me still being part of my family feels as wrong and incongruous with my self-image as breasts, as gender, as names and terminology that don’t apply to me. And it has for as long as I can recall. When I made the imminence of the intent apparent to various people close to me, literally any element of surprise in their reactions came as a weird punch of confusion and discomfort to me; it had genuinely not been in my cognitive construct to consider that anyone who knows me would not have it embedded within their understanding of me that said Me-ness intrinsically included estrangement, or demanded exclusion, from my family, however one would phrase it. It’s hard-wired; it’s built into the code; it’s a feature, not a bug; the fact of Me is diametrically conflicted from being in my family. In my head it is impossible for both to exist copacetically. (For another existential conundrum sometime, maybe one might find me elaborating on how This truth struggles in conflicted coexistence with the fact that for all these near-30 years of life, I haven’t left them yet.)

I don’t have much of a conclusion to this, or even a particular goal in trying to articulate it. It’s just a thought that I’ve struggled to mold into an easily communicable shape. Today in session we talked about my mother, and things she’s said and what she wants. Do I think she’s genuinely interested, no agenda, in my art, or is there an ulterior motive? Does she expect an answer to her email reply, a response to the message I sent checking in and asking her to not follow-up for any more info? These aren’t things I have firm conclusions on; I have senses and guesses and conditions, but it’s not been a factor in how I think about it. The question envisions a possible answer where the scenario involves her having sincere interest, unburdened by suspicion or judgment, for interest—I just don’t care. It would not make me feel better if that were true; her authentic fondness and investment or appreciation is not on my wish list. If she were purely innocent in this scenario and would to no end appreciate seeing my work and sharing in things I enjoy in life, just because she cares or loves me or for no reason at all, it would not put me at ease; it would discomfit me. Because if she had an agenda or didn’t have one but would use it or had none at all, I would not want to share with her. Yes, because I expect that it will be used against me, and yes, because I infer her judgment. But also because I have no interest in her approval, in conferred appreciation, in stringless sharing, in bonding. A stranger’s interest would have some manner of appeal to me, but all I want from her is separation. (It’s interesting, too, that this conviction holds despite emotions of esteem… I know that if she expressed disinterest it would sting, that if she ignored me I would eventually take it personally, that if she were impressed and full of praise I would have some measure of at least relief or satisfaction, maybe even pride. But forefront to all of that is that I don’t want Her and My Life to be overlapping at all.)

I don’t know that her intentions are bad. I try, sometimes, to err towards the assumption that they are neutral, or even, in some cases, have some seed of Care or twisted attempt towards Good. It’s just that I don’t… care. Not ultimately. Navigating her relationship & contemplating her intent & considerations on what could be better are inherent disinteresting to me.

When something is wrong or bad or flawed, there are a few prospective responses: to fix it, to replace it, to punish it, to reject it. If I am any of these I am the latter. In a dream world I do not envision my family being better, nor do I picture myself having a family that is simply an entirely different animal to the one I have. In the now, I would love justice, yes; I’d like them to be wounded with regret for how they’ve treated me. I do want them to feel bad. But to the paramount end I just don’t want them at all. To envision me happy with a family situation is to envision—just me, no family situation to be spoken of. (Another similarity with gender dysphoria, tbh...) And that’s how it’s been, all my life, for as far back as that line was drawn: the one I can’t remember nor place of, and to which I know there was a before, but of which I only personally know the after. The point upon which my True Ending was sealed into canon, however one wishes to describe it. And that’s what I’ve come out of therapy with, this floating, untethered thought, basically: once I may have wanted a different family, or a brother who was kind to me, or for my mother to understand; but a long time ago, it came to pass that I didn’t want that anymore, and since then, all I have wanted is none at all.

But they are still there.

So no, it doesn’t matter to me what she wants or if he cares or how they might feel about me, ultimately. They don’t Not Matter, but they don’t matter to the actual life I am trying to create for myself. The problem is how they act or are, yes, but in such a manner that the final straw was surpassed years and years and years ago; nothing can henceforth be reformed or undone, it can only succeed to minimize or eliminate furthering what damage exists. The damage was decided sometime back when I was (compared to now) very small: that it had surpassed the line of forgiveness or penance. Now, all I am trying to do is what I’ve wanted to since very long ago—leave.

That’s the fix.

The rest is as meaningless as pruning a tree before uprooting it. All I want is to extract the whole thing, roots and all.

#family estrangement #no contact #parental estrangement #eac #aspiring estranged adult child #uhh idk journal #19 July #2023

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ghost-babygirl · 2 years

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blah blah i do not existttttttttt blah blah disregard look away look away nothin g is real i am not real

i’m kind of amazed at my ability to not follow the worse thread (physically) as I have often quickly done before. Is it because i’m too tired? maybe. I live in an apartment with another girl who has an eating disorder and just my luck, is very very far from recovery. Tonight, I got really sick of my bullshit and finally got myself to make dinner around 9 after 3 ish weeks of beating around it and having goldfish or half a bullshit smushed pbj I didn’t have time to eat at work. however on rare occasion, all my roomies were here and kiki’ing in the kitchen, when suddenly the other girl gets up and is like “okay fuck it im eating!” after watching me and my other roommate start to cook. Yall. not only does this girl strictly eat diet food to the point where it’s officially fucked with her period cycle, but she gets up and the way i can FEEL her angry beside me on a calorie tracker.... words cannot describe how uncomfortable i feel in this place. its as though im watching my worst moments on a loop and i can’t do anything about it but cry. If i clench my jaw tighter my molar will crack and pierce the soft gums below it. I don’t know if its me being over my bullshit and knowing i can’t /don’t want to go back to that, or what, but i actually stood there and told myself “you’re finishing making this and you’re going to fucking eat it”. it wasn’t much, i’ll be honest, but i did. It was horrible the entire time and i felt like I was being incredibly judged but jesus christ i ate. and thats going to have to be enough. everything all of the time is just this constant reminder something is wrong with me and im just so tired. im so tired. all i want to do is be okay during this internship and i cant be. How can i be? Its like sticking an addict in a room with nothing but everything at their fingertips, man. All i want to do is watch a stupid fucking anime with someone i like and feel NORMAL and i can’t, they’re calling a man who’s at best a 34 a pig boy. all i want to do is go to a theme park and enjoy myself and i CAN’T cause this new friend happens to be obsessed with talking about how bad food is for you!! literally all of the time, and eating fast! and oh my god did you know that traditoinal mooncakes are wonderful but SOOOOO calorie dense? yeah! they’re actually HORRIBLEEEEE for you! did you know this? because now i do.

i just want the luxury of being able to fucking exist, and at this point i don’t think thats genuinely possible. every day the world shows me that i’m one of the worst possible outcomes it seems. i’m this girls worst nightmare. I’m my mothers worst nightmare and yet she tells me im beautiful so whats the truth? but also dont dress that way because it’s not flattering. but also she’d kill to look like me yet i’m what she’s spent her lifetime killing herself to not look like. everyday there’s a new issue. Is it an issue? am I my hair or my legs or my uneven bone structure? am i the issue? and why do people fear me? Do they see my insides from the outside? what can they possibly know when im trying so hard to hide? i’m trying to hide it all, i’m trying to fix it. did i ever really need to fix it? You love my laugh but its too loud and its too ridiculous and i’m too annoying, do i need to be smaller? Are my insecurities really an issue to be fixed? are they really an issue? well it wont be next week....but it’ll swing back the week after! and be in your head all over again and when people are positioned on a certain side you’ll wonder if they focus in on it the same way you do, like when you’re at the movies. you love being there but hate the seats and you’re in your head partially because of how they are positioned and what if you look disgusting what if you’re vile? and oh god are they able to tell? oh wait, its a new week, and now its not as bad as you thought until oh waIT! oh GOD! you just saw it again , with worse eyes than before, and now you’re crying in the work bathroom. until wait, let me trade out worrying about this issue with your hair texture. too much right? not enough? the girls always told you you should straighten it. should you start that again? no, you don’t want to, but you know its whats preferred and easier to look at- less of a mess, less loud.

I think everyday is just going to be the world telling me something is wrong with me and i’m supposed to now just learn to be okay with that. i dont know, but I wish i was someone who could have the right to just be.

#ed tw #I feel like everyone who goes out with me and has a good to normal relationship w food and #doesn't feel the need to say things you shouldn't while eating is owed a kiss on the mouth and a lifetime of my love #they have no idea the solace they bring me but god the way i tear up when i think of them #I can count on a single hand who they are and i wish i could tell them how thankful i am but it wouldn't make any sense if they heard #how do you begin to tell someone that they make you feel less lonely performing a task you have to that makes you want to die #90% of the time? you can't

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aparticularbandit · 2 years

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Finding Family: Part Four: Prologue

Summary: When America begins universe-hopping again to try and find her moms, she realizes that’s too much scope for her. She looks for smaller scope, and instead she finds Wanda.

AO3

There are many stories hidden in the library at Kamar-Taj.

Wong knows most of them by heart, and the ones he doesn’t, he has enough passing remembrances of to follow along if someone else brings them up. The stories of the Scarlet Witch are few and far between, primarily because they’re based in hearsay and theories, in myths and legends, not in quantifiable fact. The closest they had was the book Wanda destroyed, and it had been lost for so long that there were no longer any primary sources dealing with her. Only possibilities. Only potentials. Only unknowns.

By comparison, the multiverse is mentioned significantly more than the Scarlet Witch is, although still in passingly rare amounts. But Wong had been interested in the multiverse when he first learned about it, and he’d spent enough time studying it that, at the time, he could have written a thesis on it. But that was a long, long time ago, and he’d forgotten most of it over time. He’s learned so much more since then, had so many more things that needed his full focus, that he really only remembers some fairly cool tidbits.

But something has been niggling at the back of his mind over the past few months. Something Wong remembers reading a very long, long time ago but can’t remember exactly. Something to do with the multiverse and the Scarlet Witch.

Now, it takes a while before Wong recovers from his head trauma enough to be able to read again without feeling something pressing at the back of his head, and it takes even longer to be able to read for long enough periods of time that he can search through the library to find precisely what he is looking for. He remembers most of the texts on the multiverse and where they can be found, but he was never particularly interested in the Scarlet Witch – wasn’t even after their fight so many months ago – so trying to find the very specific book where the two intersected takes a fair bit of time. Or – it would have taken a fair bit of time without his recovering from a concussion, and it takes a fair bit more due to the same.

Wong does, eventually, find it, and when he does, he reads:

“It is the theory of this researcher that just as there are certain Fixed Points in our own universe which cannot be rewritten without unraveling it, there are also Fixed Points – or, rather, Fixed Persons – in the multiverse. These persons, which I will further refer to as Nexus Beings, exist in every universe across the multiverse. They may not exist in the same way or the same form, and they may not even have the same name or lineage, but in every universe, you will find a version – or variant – of a Nexus Being. Like Fixed Points, Nexus Beings are few and far between. Most of us will have no occasion to meet one, and even if we did, how would we know it? We would need to traverse the multiverse ourselves, making note of every being on every world and beyond, and then begin to compare notes.

“However, it is also the theory of this researcher that certain beings may be identified as Nexus Beings due to the impact they have – or may yet have – to our universe. Given the prophesies and theories surrounding her, it is likely that the Scarlet Witch is one such being.”

Wong stares at the book for a moment longer. It’s a throwaway line – or not, depending on where someone stands in their research – and beyond that, the writer gives a list of other potential Nexus Beings with various reasons. His head aches – a bit of pressure building in the back of his skull – and he can’t be sure if that’s a lingering effect of his concussion or if it’s from trying to understand the implications of what is being theorized.

There is, of course, no proof that Nexus Beings exist in the way that this writer suggests, nor is there any proof that the Scarlet Witch might be one of them.

But the thought of it settles uncomfortably in the center of his chest.

Wong determines not to say anything about this to anyone. He can’t see it doing any good.

#bandit fic #finding family with wanda and america #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch #america chavez #wong #mcu wong #mcu #queue

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