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#don't remember how to do this anymore

lu-sn · 9 months

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this is the face of a man who is connecting a lot of dots.

we know vegas had flagged porsche early on as someone to keep tabs on — he sent the assassin girl into that gala to report on porsche's skills as a bodyguard. but then we have this interaction:

vegas is clearly baffled that his dad cares about this random bodyguard, but gun provides zero context. just a vague, pointlessly harsh order.

so vegas makes his best guess at to why gun might care, and arrives at something close to "he's a point of weakness for kinn — we can use him." and he proceeds to do just that.

then, too-late, he learns he was wrong.

(shoutout to gun being angry about namphueng's son getting hurt while ACTIVELY hurting his own son. what a dickhead.)

i bet this new information just eats away at vegas, especially while he's trapped at the safehouse. how could he have possibly known he was supposed to keep porsche safe? when has his father EVER wanted to keep anyone safe? why the fuck is porsche so important?

once porsche hands him the photo, it all falls in place.

the consequences of being left in the dark were severe for vegas. it wrecked all of his plans from the start, and vegas had no clue how much it would matter. but neither did porsche — and as vegas says himself, kinn doesn't know either. this is a secret that goes all the way to the top.

gun cares about porsche, because gun cares about porsche's mother enough to have a photo of her in his office. and you can tell vegas is burning to know why.

sure, he says. he'll go find arthee. he'll fork up the five million in cash. he'll do whatever it takes to help porsche learn the truth of his past — because in some sense, it's vegas's past, too. and vegas wants answers.

#on my very first watch i remember being surprised about how easily vegas was acquiesing to porsche's needs #frankly i thought it was suspicious #then we learned porsche had brought pete there as a bargaining chip and i went oh. that's why. he's doing it for pete.#i don't think that's true anymore. i think pete was vital for getting vegas to agree to this meeting #but the moment vegas sees that photo? it becomes personal #kinnporsche #vegas theerapanyakul #porsche kittisawasd #gun theerapanyakul #vegaspete #kprewatch2023

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folightening · 8 months

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Hetalia nations having the only remaining copy of their favorite play or book. Special first editions of certain books, sometimes gifted by the author themself. Portraits done by artists no one else cares to remember. Stories never written down that they only remember parts of and wish they could share again with their people. Little knick knacks they picked up over the centuries with value only to them. Things that remind them of who they are, who they used to be, that are so important they can't part with them.

Then there are those things that only live in their memory, that they wish they could see again but it just wouldn't be the same.

#hetalia #getting a little emotional thinking about their immortality #all the things they've experienced that they can't anymore #the things humans used to do but don't anymore that they miss #old fashions and traditions they keep despite how the world thinks of them #how fast things keep moving and expecting the old souls to keep up and deal with it no matter how much they may not want to #remembering people differently from history but their memories aren't the business of nosy humans #just wanting a simple life but not granted one because they are a Nation

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disposal-blueeee · 3 months

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stuff i never finished and why

hello and good night . i'm just gonna ramble about stuff so yeah

swings

oh man i really loved this drawing . but it was a PAIN IN THE ASS .

i had a bunch of problems with this one . i spent an embarrassing amount of time doing the line . then after i started painting it on Ibis paint i realized that i should've done the line with a textured brush .

then the background . i really couldn't make it look nice even if i tried . i spent so long just trying stuff and searching for references but i just couldn't get it right . the colors and the lightning kept looking weird .

and just when it was looking decent , oh no the file is corrupted !!! and if i wanted it back i would have to go through a speedpaint of a drawing that took me 28 hours ( i actually tried it 😭😭 but it was taking so long and after some time the app crashed )

so , i decided to just give up . i was already fed up with it . maybe some day i'll try to redraw it or something

edit : oh wait a second . this drawing makes no sense without the background . edgar looks like that because there's supposed to be a puddle under scriabin's swing and he's trying to get edgar wet with it

otgw x chapter 20 / 21

i just said i loved the other one but THIS ONE . this one is SO PRETTY and i was so excited to try some new brushes and overall just finish this . excited enough to start painting edgar without even finishing scriabin's line .

i was using a small tablet my friend let me borrow . it was actually so helpful because i could draw on my phone with it !! i used to work on this when i was at school .

then i started having problems with the background . again

then my friend told me that his mom didn't agree with him giving me the tablet and that he should give it to his sister instead so i had to give it back . great . at that point i didn't feel like finishing it so

random reference i found in pinterest

this is like a month old maybe ???? i just thought " oh this would be such a fire pfp " and after finishing the sketch i was like " alright i'll finish this tomorrow " ( i never finished it )

mostly didn't finish it because i didn't have any idea to make it look lifeless and tragic . oh well . maybe i'll try it someday i still think it's cool

papa's cheeseria

this one isn't really unfinished . i just wanted to make a doodle sheet but never drew anything else so now he's just there . alone in a blank space . poor guy .

so yeah . everytime i play papa louie's games i always make the workers look like edgar and scriabin . i thought this default outfit looked pretty cool so so i had to draw it

#there's probably more stuff to add here but i lost a bunch of files when i changed my pc :((#also i have another one i really wanted to add but it's oc related so so nope #i tried so hard with the swings one but after some time i just felt like the drawing expired ?????? somehow #like that just wasn't how i used to draw anymore . so i just gave up #the same thing happened with the otgw x 20 / 21 one and it makes me so SAD #i don't even know how that one popped in my head .#one day i just remembered over the garden wall existed thanks to a friend posting some art about it #and idk i just had to draw them like wirt and greg #anyways back to rambling about my life woohoo #i'm i'm doing so bad rn #but let's pretend i'm not . alright #this year will be tough .#vargas #vargas zarla #scriabin vargas #zarla s #edgar vargas #sunny's rambles

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ex-textura · 7 months

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With your smile You pull the deepest secrets from my heart In all honesty I'm speechless and I don't know where to start... ...but it's something about the way you look tonight

yes, I was listening to Elton John the whole time.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #gale/dark urge #gale/tav #my art #my ocs #ciaran finch #hands hands hands #help i didn't know how to finish this I haven't coloured a piece in AGES #but anyway #look #i do colour sometimes??????#i don't remember how to tag my own art anymore lol

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evagora · 5 months

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“I said I play guitar. And I… I guess you could say I sing—?”

What.

“—Not much! But enough for the night… I think. So, I'm offering you my services. The crew insisted.”

or: La Gueule de Saturne receives artists every weekend. Rody may be one of them, and Vince is low-key having a crisis.

————

pspsps dead plate fandom here's a one shot 4 u :))

#i swear i tried my best at making vince as accurate as possible but I Don't Think I Succeeded #anyways. whats done its done. but i do like how it came out regardless #dead plate #dead plate game #rody lamoree #vincent charbonneau #evagora writes #im pretty sure i use that tag for fics but I don't even remember anymore. havent used it in months

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michanvalentine · 6 days

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A silly sketch made while I was drawing with my daughter. I used my little one's multicolored pencil. I hadn't drawn in so long that my hand was squeaking with rust! 🫣

#vincent valentine #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 rebirth #final fantasy vii rebirth #final fantasy rebirth #ff7 rebirth #ff7rb #fanart #what a shame #I don't remember how to do it anymore #aaaaaaaaaaaah #Vincent has never been so colorful in his life

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homeless202 · 6 months

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I’m new here and I absolutely love your type of blogs with analysis and meta and long texts~~

I was wondering—is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship the kind that could be interpreted as romantic?

first of all, welcome and ty! and sorry it took me so long to reply, i hope u're still around anon. now to answer ur question

i'll take this opportunity to share all my thoughts on the topic bc i have Many.

TLDR: it is possible to read it as romantic if you really want to, but it's not meant to (at least not as of right now in the story aka ch.224)

deep dive under the cut as to why

-> can Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship be interpreted as romantic?

i like how you phrased that bc, the thing is, interpretation is very subjective. you're welcome and allowed to interpret things however you want, but in EY&HJ's case, i feel like you'd have to work a lil extra hard to get to that point.

-> is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship meant to be interpreted as romantic?

this one's easy bc no. objectively Not. the genre of No Home is drama and slice of life (and once upon a time, horror). even if they were to ever end up in a romantic relationship, that's not what the story is about.

when i ask myself what the author's intention is with this story, i'd say it's to (realistically) portray how a young person with trauma would navigate another young person's trauma. and showing how easy it is to unintentionally fuck it up for various reasons: lacking context as to what exactly said trauma is, generally not knowing how to navigate it, their own trauma getting in the way, lacking the necessary resources. take your pick.

think of it like "how should i carry someone else's baggage when i have my own to deal with?" while also keeping in mind they're kids; they often don't have enough experience to know how to help, and even when they know what the right thing to do is, they're not old enough to take (legal) action.

and especially, the most heart-breaking yet realistic thing, when you're just getting to know someone, you can't know everything about them. it's so easy to accidentally do or say sth that cuts or offends when it wasn't meant to. but when they've got their own issues, it's hard not to take it personally (eg. EY talking about HJ's parents without knowing his mom died not long ago in the beginning of the story).

-> what even is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship??

this one's so funny bc i have no idea how to answer and i'm convinced not even EY and HJ themselves would know how to answer. they're not really friends; they got off on the wrong foot and kept walking with two left feet way too much to call themselves friends. the things that pushed them together the most were the dorms (not anymore) and the same friend group (more or less since EY has multiple).

what fits them best i'd say is "the universe forced us together against our will and now we're stuck with one another altho we hate each other" (<- at least in the beginning) extended with the "misery loves company" sentiment. finding comfort in someone who gets it, even tho they only kinda get it but not really but it works out anyway except it doesn't <- THERE'S NO NAME FOR THAT *cry* they invented a new type of character dynamic smh (i've never read a pairing with so much (romantic) potential only to see them completely fuck up their chance so royally by the end of their interaction EVERY SINGLE TIME. like yeah, enemies to lovers whatever BUT NOT TO THAT LEVEL HOLY SHIT)

they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. they're compatible in the way they understand each other on a deeper level and incompatible in the way they don't.

...however...

this is how HJ thinks of EY: (and also what No Home is truly abt)

and this is how EY feels about HJ after EY found out HJ used to steal as well (aka that HJ isn't perfect like the stuck up bitch EY thought he was at first):

so...

<- -> EY's first impression of HJ was that he was looking down on him and sth like "does this guy have ulterior motives? or is he just that naive being so trusting?" until EY found out HJ wasn't that different from him. after that, EY started admiring HJ for still managing to achieve things in life despite the hardships he had to go through. the type of admiration that can easily (and sometimes does) slip into envy.

since the beginning, EY has helped HJ (or at least tried to) without him knowing. sometimes it worked out, sometimes not. most times EY tried doing sth nice for HJ was (from EY's perspective) in return to HJ trying to help him or doing nice things for him (which, again, sometimes worked out, sometimes not). EY was just paying back a debt to "this stubborn naive guy who keeps getting into trouble and butting into his business. gotta look out for this idiot or he might get scammed." (<- eg. when EY offered to get HJ's money back from his uncle)

he doesn't do it for credit or friendship or out of obligation, he's just doing what he thinks is the right thing bc he doesn't want to owe anyone anything. he can't accept people just genuinely being kind, genuinely caring and genuinely wanting to help. but he's been learning and slowly coming to terms with it.

<- -> HJ first wanted to try befriending EY despite not liking him bc, well, the guy did steal his wallet and stab him in their first interaction. after trying and failing at it multiple times, thanksgiving happened, and HJ started thinking of EY as his underclassman bc he realized EY's just a kid with issues and he should keep an eye on him (discretely bc EY hates pity).

with time HJ has come to understand EY better by going after him whenever he ran off and slowly realized that EY does mean well and has his reasons (as fucked up as they might be sometimes). but his mentality abt EY is still "i gotta push him in the right direction cuz he's my underclassman and i unintentionally got attached to him (somehow??)" (also bc he knows EY already gave up on himself so he needs a lil help to find his way again. also also bc he knows EY is lowkey suicidal and he's scared it'll be his fault if sth happens) <- his care for EY comes from a protective/nurturing (/possibly maybe guilty) place which started when he realized EY was just a kid^^. in other words, HJ still bothers with EY out of a subconscious sense of responsibility/obligation in a way (a good way tho. or at least a way that gets better)

see, sth i struggle with is if HJ thinks he has to or wants to or thinks he should or can't just not help/care for EY. i can't exactly pinpoint where the sentiment is coming from. his face is too blank for me to read sometimes T_T

to summarize: HJ is EY's goal, what EY wishes he could've been. and EY is HJ's 'responsibility' so to speak (bc 'burden' doesn't quite fit since HJ is there for EY willingly) -> EY has a positive opinion of HJ while HJ has a neutral opinion of EY (which is also gradually getting better)

note1: i think HJ's intention (maybe subconsciously) was to be to EY what HJ's upperclassman was to him. aka someone who's there when you need it and can help guide you. it would explain why HJ kept chasing after EY despite not really having a reason to and EY repeatedly rejecting HJ's care/help.

note2: i also believe the 'upper-under-classman' relationship dynamic fits them the best atm bc it also matches the way the story often singles EY out as he's the only second year (aka younger) of the 6 MCs.

-> Romance in No Home?

another thing i should mention is that No Home rarely leaves things open for interpretation. the deepest arguments EY&HJ had were always spelled out for us, to make us understand exactly what the problem was, and how there isn't a good guy and a bad guy. it's just two people with issuesTM.

from what we've seen in the story up to this point, i couldn't pick out a moment where i'd go "here! that's romantic! that's the moment they realized SomeThing!" yk

when it comes to romance specifically, i feel like a handful of opportunities were missed. there are scenes which could've easily been written trough a rosy lens but simply weren't.

exhibit A:

HJ was speechless bc "wow this mf really is actively picking a fight with an authority figure. i gotta make sure things don't escalate" not bc "hoLY sHiT hE's PreTTy. all his fangirls are on to something". however, this only becomes more clear when you keep reading the next few chapters, so i understand how you could interpret it as the latter.

exhibit B:

here they got so close and the moment was so deep bc "woaa he said he believes me. no one's said to me that before!". unfortunately, EY was panicking too much for it to mean something bc of the guilt he felt for HJ trusting someone so undeserving of trust like EY.

exhibit C:

this is maybe the closest we got to romantic between these two. i think this might be the only (or at least first) ever deep interaction between them that didn't end in a fight or misunderstanding. is it meant to be romantic tho? -> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-> what do i think?

first, full transparency: i went into reading this story fully expecting it to be a BL and for EY&HJ to end up together. but the more i kept on reading, the more i got the ick thinking about them being in a (romantic) relationship bc, at least from what we've seen so far in the story, their relationship would be so ToxicTM (which i personally don't enjoy reading).

as they are right now, i wouldn't want them to be together like that. like, honestly, you still can't really consider these two even friends; they just tolerate each other if the stars align correctly (altho, i'll admit, their relationship is gradually getting better!!). every big argument they had i thought "god, there's no coming back from that. i'd cut ties so quickly if was them wtf". i still don't know how they managed to keep on interacting, props to them ig.

there's a lot of unresolved issues between them. and a lot of resentment which would not bode well in a romantic relationship. the smallest argument would turn explosive and they'd be, at best, in an on&off type of relationship. they both have the power to break the other and neither would be afraid to use it. they have a lot of history together, which is not always pleasant, so if they ever were to go the romantic route, it would have to be a long way to go.

technically, i could see them in a romantic relationship if they both went to therapy first and talked out all the baggage they're carrying (both individual and shared). realistically tho, what i think will happen at the end of No Home is that either they never cross paths again after high school ends (which would absolutely break my heart Wanan pls don't), or they somehow (unintentionally) end up living together bc they both desperately needed a roommate to pay rent (which would be a hilarious fucking gag LMAO). just, HJ going to uni/work and EY doing his own thing (prolly an actor) while still cohabiting together; hanging out to watch a movie before bed <- (whether platonic or romantic being left up for interpretation)

<- -> in conclusion, from what we've seen up to this point, their relationship is mainly upper-under-classman; reluctant (maybe) friends who tolerate each other but also care (too) deeply. they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. in some ways they're compatible and in others they're not.

all this being said, their relationship is improving and romance between EY&HJ is not impossible, just rather unlikely imo. but, again, interpretation is subjective and u're welcome to read their relationship however you want.