#for now.... just.... people need to remember that when youre debating fiction like this

[sollucets]

guys i am trying Really hard not to have public opinions about of this morning... pray for me

#i work really hard not to do that. genuinely. every single time i reblog a meta or post my own opinion or write more serious tags #it is Vetted #i keep these things to my friends & my discord & such on purpose because. because. it's better for everyone #but im hanging on by a thread today i guess :') #for now.... just.... people need to remember that when youre debating fiction like this #the characters are fictional but the people listening aren't #and you can cause real fucking harm by talking about demographics the way people have been #rowan chatter #(if i see someone fucking say ray can't love again i'm going to kill. it's directly to murder i will be committing crimes) #(AND if i see another implication that he should've had to get sent to prison it'll be arson also) #fuck you all you dont get to have ray anymore. im taking him he's in my pocket now #do people even know how rehab & therapy fucking WORK #okay. okay. okay okk okokokkok mission failed a little #but we're far enough down in the tags now. reblogs are off. don't eat me

[corrodedcoffins-blog]

Out Of Your Comfort Zone

masterlist

note: the original ask said fantasy but i dont read fantasy at all, so i went with a silly little romance novel i loved, which i think still displays that opposite thing the anon wanted. so i hope this is okay!!

warnings: my writing while i'm high (rambling that can be disguised as descriptive writing)

word count: 1.2 k

♡ summary: During a bookstore date Y/n's taste in books gets Spencer out of his comfort zone.

♡ Spencer Reid x fem!reader

request ✓

Finally, Spencer had a weekend off, where there was no chance of a case coming in at the last minute. And it’s not like Y/n hated Spencer’s job, she knew he did a lot of good. But it was hard sometimes when they would go a few weeks without sleeping next to each other.

It was the perfect morning to their perfect day, they had just come from a local art exhibit pop-up/farmers market. It reminded Y/n of Notting Hill, of course from the movie but also from when she lived in London while studying abroad. But now the couple was off to the local bookstore, they had looked at the farmers market, but they were all travel books, the irony was not lost.

Them both loving books was what got them to the second date, their first being filled with a debate about ‘modern classics’ and what classifies them. A topic they both clearly had a lot of opinions on as it took up the whole date that they hadn’t asked all the first date questions, so they needed the second date.

Them both loving books was what got them to the second date, their first being filled with a debate about ‘modern classics’ and what classifies them. A topic they both clearly had a lot of opinions on as it took up the whole date that they hadn’t asked all the first date questions, so they needed the second date.

And though their taste in books were quite opposite, there was a small overlap that was home to Little Women, Pride and Prejudice, The Bell Jar, and many others. But that was Spencer’s main area, classics, Y/n only read the feminist classics.

So when they went to the bookshop, the two would split up until Spencer finished looking in his favourite sections, since he could read so much faster than the girl it took her about three times as long to look through the fiction section.

Spencer was making his way to her now, stopping to read the backs of a couple books that interested him, even picking one up to buy. He walked past the isles of the fiction and romance sections, finally coming to a halt at the ‘J’s where Y/n was now. She didn’t even register his presence, too wrapped up in reading the summary of the blue and yellow book in her hand.

Spencer didn’t want to startle the girl, so he walked past her, her eyes rising from the book in hand to look at who she thought was a random person just browsing the store like her, eyes lighting up when she sees it’s Spencer.

“Honey, what’d you find?” She questions, Spencer assumes it was a rhetorical question since she didn’t give him enough time before she cuts in grabbing the second book from the stack in his arms, “I was gonna suggest this one to you! A subscriber said it was really good!”

Y/n was a booktuber, when she told Spencer that he obviously had no idea what that was, but a simple explanation later and he was caught up. And after a year of dating, she finally mentioned him in a video when she was talking about ‘Normal People’ . It was one of the books they argued could be considered a modern classic on their first date. And she mentioned his taste in books and now her followers left recommendations for him in her

comments, mostly on instagram when she posted him from time to time.

“Yeah. I was really impressed with another book by this author, her description of the caste system in India and the impact it has mentally was so moving.” “I remember you reading that. I’m not good at reading those types of books, but I love when you tell me all about them.” Her soft words brought red to Spencer’s checks while he hid his hands around her waist.

Recovering from the girl’s flirting, even after a year he still reacted the same to her words, his head rose from the spot in her neck to look at the book she had been looking at when he found her.

“What did you find?” “Oh, I saw a girl say it was a good book in her review and I want to do a video on age gap books since so many people ask.” Pacing the books over to him when he signalled his hand forward for it, turning it over to read the front, ‘Part of Your Word’ by Abby Jimenez in large letters was written across the front. It wasn’t a fairly large book, it could take him maybe five minutes.

Y/n was now turned to read more titles, stopping at any that caught her eye. All the while, Spencer was stood of to the side reading. It had actually only taken the man four minutes when he checked his watch. Proud of himself, he looks up to see that his girlfriend was apparently watching him, for how long, he didn’t know.

With a smile on his face, he asks, “What?” “Spencer. Did you just read my book? Before I even bought it?” She replied with a hand going to her hip and a jokey tone. “Well, first of all, you aren’t buying it bec-” “Why was it bad?”

Y/n often spoke before thinking, causing her to cut off people, Spencer was used to it he thought it was cute and she always made it her mission to not interrupt when he was really passionate about a topic.

“Because, I’m buying.” “Hon, no you bought last time.” “I don’t mind.” “I do.”

Spencer moved on from this conversation, they both know how it will end. Spencer will in fact pay, Y/n will say he didn’t have to, Spencer would say he doesn’t mind, she’ll say she does mind, and they repeat it when they pay for lunch after the bookshop.

“But I did read it.” “Don’t spoil, but what did you think?” She had watched a couple booktok reviews on it so she knew it was a little spicy, something she knew Spencer didn’t read a lot of, if ever.

“I think it was good. I liked how they talked about family relationships and verbal abuse in relationships, I think it was done well and it brought a lot more sense of realism. And I liked the leads, I relate to Daniel more than I thought, his dedication to making things work.. I won’t spoil it for you but- um yeah. And I liked the setting.”

His words sent a loving smile to rest on the girl’s face, she loved nothing more than to hear Spencer talk. His voice was deep yet not at the same time, and his mannerisms were adorable to her. And hearing him actually read and enjoy a book from the romance section that was written in the last few decades, was a big step for him. He didn’t even know about Twilight when they met.

“I’m glad you like it.” She said, truthfully, “I’ll be sure to mention that in my video.” “You don’t have to.” “You just don’t want Penny to see the video and by extension Derek.”

Their conversation continued while they waited in line, holding each other's hand while Y/n looks up to speak. They were interrupted when it was then their turn, Spencer paying like he said he would, and again at lunch, much to the girl’s disapproval.

“You don’t have to pay.” “I don’t mind.” “I do.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x fem reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fic

[blockgamepirate]

(that post was so banger it finally made me register an alt) Honestly, you are so correct about L'Manberg

I remember regularly lurking around mcytblr and reading analysis and I think I only saw coherent L'Manberg nationalism analysis from, like, Xephyr and a c!Dream blogger/fan. Which is crazy in retrospect, because the ease with which most of the fandom leaned into fictional country hardcore patriotism was/is kinda insane

And the ensuing anti Doomsday stance -- like we all know that terrorism is bad and shit, but absolute refusal to acknowledge that maybe Doomsday trio and co were not punished by the narrative for having done that was because they were right was. sure something!

omg that's very flattering thank you :D

By Xephyr I assume you mean @considermygenderminecrafted ? Because yes, xe has some of the best L'Manburg critique out there, as well as some of the best c!Wilbur critique, everybody should absolutely check it out immediately (altho frustratingly, I just tried to find some of their posts as an example but Tumblr's search function is still absolute garbage (Xeph, do you have some of your great posts at hand and if so, can you just link some of them in the reblogs or something?))

And yes. There are valid criticisms that can be made of the Doomsday Trio's tactics (which even Techno himself sort of acknowledged later), but at the end of the day, they were on the right side of history

(Well Dream's character less so, but I can't even be bothered to try to analyse him at this point because none of his plans make sense to me)

Also nobody ever seems to acknowledge that Doomsday Trio were acting in self-defence, since L'Manburg had already gone after both Techno and Phil, and was at the time trying to kill Dream as well, although he kinda beat them to the punch (possibly because he already knew they were planning to kill him? idk, I'm not sure if that was ever confirmed or not)

But yeah, the argument about them needing to be punished by the narrative was always absurd to me, and it just betrays the fandom's belief that L'Manburg was supposed to be objectively good, despite all the evidence that it very much was not, not even to its own citizens! And possibly also the unquestioned assumption of "state good, anarchy bad"

Meanwhile the actual narrative repeatedly shows that L'Manburg always ends up becoming toxic, corrupt and ultimately oppressive, even under the Good President, while on the other hand the anarchist commune eventually turns into a sanctuary for all sorts of people who need a safe place to stay (even arguably the aforementioned former Good President when he needs somewhere to hide his son from kidnappers)

And yeah, this is why I did get pretty heated about some of the debates at the time, and I kinda still do, because in the process of assuming that L'Manburg was always the good guys, they ended up repeatedly justifying just absolutely horrific state violence as well as excusing early L'Manburg's xenophobia (as comedic as it initially was), which unfortunately mirrors a lot of real world authoritarianism and xenophobia

To be fair a lot of this was probably also protagonist-centric morality, since most of these people also saw the L'Manburg side as the main characters, but then again what is nationalism if not a form of protagonist-centric morality where you see your own country as the protagonist of the world lol

I might actually need to make a proper post now since multiple people have shown interest, unfortunately I'm also very lazy and kinda made my main points in that low effort post already

Which would mean that it would actually have to be a high effort post to justify its existence

#asks #hopemadethisaccforsendingasks

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Major Update

The request will be opening soon because I'm down to like the most obscure requests that I'm actually struggling to find photos for. So in preparation of this I have to get a lot of announcements out of the way so this post might make a lot of people angry. Might make some of you happy But I need to get this out of the way before I open up the request again.

Let's start with the things that I know are going to piss people off as of right now. No. Webcomics no. Webtoons. Yes, I do know several webtoons/webcomics have been turned into anime. Those will be allowed but that's because they're anime now. Also no mechs. However, this is just for now. Remember I've only been doing this blog for maybe 3 months. So let me get more into the groove of things before we add on all of those things. So maybe when I've been doing this for 6 months to a year we can start allowing that Web comics, webtoons and mechs but I'm already struggling with keeping up with requests and keeping enough stuff in the queue as is. So I don't want to complicate things even further and make things as easy as I can on myself. Now there is a reason for this because I may be changing jobs soon and I don't want to have to put the blog on temporary hiatus during that transition.

Now on to the next thing and this is probably going to make a lot of people happy but people please do not make me regret this decision. But, after hearing the many lamentations from mostly the Naruto fandom, much personal debate and seeing how a similar blog handles things. I have decided to lower the minimum age for the polls to 16. Now that means minors can and probably will be matched up against each other and against 18+ characters. Please don't come at me about that choice, these characters are fictional. You can't hurt them, and a blog like this isn't going to normalize preying on minors. YES it's wrong in real life, but anime teenagers are not normal teenagers. I literally just finished an anime about a assassin trying to get back to his wife. He was 16 and had a wife I swore he was at least 20 sometimes anime ages don't make sense. Please don't start anything or I will start blocking. But for those of you who don't want to participate in those polls, I will make a special tag so you can block all polls that have confirmed 16 and 17-year-old characters So you can block the tag so you don't have to see it and participate You will be able to find it when I update the rules post in the next day or two when I have everything finalized. Now this is subject to change if people do not behave. So do not start attacking me because I allow this or I will bump that age back up to 18. Do not make me regret this

Now when it comes to requests you have 10 characters and can request up to Four-way matchups. I don't care how you break that down so you can do two four-way polls and a two-way poll or request five two-way polls don't care. Figure it out. I'm pretty sure everyone can do math but the max is 10 characters However, you want to break it down with two-way, three-way and four-way polls.

I'm also setting a limit on how many times you can request a day. Please only do it twice. That's up to 20 characters. So everyone gets a chance to request polls

Remember Six-Way polls are not something you can request directly. They are something I make as a special thing, when the queue leans too much into one character or fandom. However, you can suggest a theme. I have done fire and ice powers. You all seem to like the goth girl and the anime men in suits. You get the idea. You can always put some theme ideas at the bottom of your request. So I can add them to my list of themes that I have saved when I need to make a six-way poll

I think that is all the major announcements So now with these updates everyone can start thinking of the new matchup request because they will be opening up soon and that request box fills up fast

#major update #not a poll #announcement post #blog update

[animentality]

I'm an Astarion girlie and fandom veteran in general and I would literally rather kms than interact with the VA, that's a bridge I won't cross. The shit I (the girlies) say, he doesn't need to know, man's got enough to deal with

Listen that post was not aimed at all Astarion girlies.

Just the ones who are being parasocial.

If you bite and slobber all over astarion in your own corner, you're good. Draw weird fanart, write weird fanfiction, obsess over all the silly little fictional men all you like, it's just whenever you start being creepy with a real life person who is not your toy that it gets sooooooo weird.

Astarion fans are just such a majority, or maybe just a passionate minority, that they kind of work themselves up into a Frenzy.

They're also the ones I've noticed starting beef with other people, mostly the ascended Astarion girlies who get mad when someone points out that his spawn ending is his good ending and the ascended ending is the one where you objectify him so much that he ends up becoming what you wanted him to be, and not his true self.

Now I don't personally care about that.

Because I'm a Gortash stan and he's way worse, and he doesn't have a good ending, and he's not super redeemable. And I'm not stupid, so I won't bother debating with stupid.

But the arguments and debates, just yeah, ok, stop, calm down.

I get that you love him, but please remember he's not real and harassing real life people out of this weird loyalty to him...is super ugly.

Should not be confusing, but, real people will always matter more than your fake pixelated man.

That includes the voice actor of your fake pixelated man.

I got the tailwind of one of those Astarion hurricanes and it was enough to make me ignore the greater BG3 fandom in general.

That's why I hang out in the durgetash/Gortash corner. Much less people, and no one in here tries to argue that Gortash is actually a great guy.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #neil newbon

[no-where-new-hero]

☕ - booktok and I'm cheating to add the state of YA in general 👀

Disclaimer at first that I don't have TikTok (proudly) so that my experience with social media book discourse is through Instagram (which also has a lot of TikToks transferred over, obviously) but I'm not sure if the IG algorithm shows me different things from what TikTok would. Anyway.

I'm going to start with the state of YA actually because I feel slightly more familiar with this but also I think BookTok/Bookstagram trends are absolutely contributing to its hellscape. I may have talked about this in the post about where LMM would be shelved, but I think YA is losing its own identity. It's no longer about finding your place in the world or coming to terms with identity or dealing with themes that will help provide a bridge between childhood and adulthood. Romantasy abounds as much as in adult fiction, maybe just with a little less sex (though that's debatable). Contemporary feels reducible to a Pinterest moodboard (Portrait of a Thief, which I honestly liked in a lot of ways, suffered from this in my opinion). Fantasy without romance is almost nonexistent, and SF is more and more negligible.

All of these issues are perpetuated by BookTok. In a small video, there's only so much of a story you can share. Romantic tropes, aesthetic pictures, over-the-top dramatic lines sell well on there because they're catchy and cater to a romance- and visual-centric society. But I think it has given the false impression that you can stretch a skin of plot over these bones and call it an animal, and because everyone is accepting that this is an animal, the proliferation of such simulacra continues. Especially when the plot itself is none too strong.

You mentioned the trope problem, and I'll drill down on it because I definitely see this as the fanficification of published literature and the deterioration of rigorous plotting: A, because people enjoy it. B, because a majority of new authors grew up in the fanfic heyday and cut their teeth on that style, so they no longer know how to break free of it. C, because it's easy: you have narrative assumptions baked into rivals to lovers, in there's-only-one-bed, the coffeeshop au, etc. They're in fanfic because they're easy and provide a handy template for the meat of the story, which is the characters. But translating that into original fiction runs the risk of creating a predictable story. Predictability can mean palatability, which doesn't hurt on the whole. But it again inscribes this misbelief that if that's all that's on the market, that's all that people want.

The publishing industry absolutely is perpetuating it too: to sell a book now, you need to give comparative titles, "the books yours will sit next to on a display." There's more and more pigeonholing, which the fanfic style enables.

I could also get into the moral turpitude of some of the books on there (cough anything by colleen hoover not to mention HAUNTING ADELINE cough) but that will sound unnecessarily judgy, so I won't. Suffice to say that I feel sorry for anyone trying to "become a reader" by taking their recommendations solely from an app driven by popularity, shock-value, and the cultural capital of prettiness and success.

(Okay I need a last footnote to say that I understand that ALL advertising is driven by popularity, shock-value, and cultural capital. But you remember in the old days when you could go into the library and find a dusty book that was published in like 1990 or something and it smelled like it was growing mildew and it probably had a horrible cover and the author was someone you'd never heard of and none of your friends knew what the book was but you would bring it home and it would completely change your brain chemistry and everything you thought about the world? THAT'S HOW YOU BECOME A READER FELLAS. As a librarian in training, I'm going to die on this hill.)

#i still want to reblog your other post with gogandmagog because you guys brought up other fabulous things i didn't have time to address here #blake’s last braincell #blake’s mail #blake's asks

[kriimhild]

Im asking as anonymous because im have social angsiety and this is the only way i feel i can remotly do it i have debated around a month of how to just go about talking about this and today i tryed to join the security breach show server on discord and imiditly left cause of how scared i got i havent posted my own stuff on my blog bevause im scared and just wanted to know....how the heck do you do it how the heck do you have the courage to do what you do? Heck im trying to write i fan fiction only to scrap it like once every two days....

It's something that artists have to learn (if they want to). In order for people to remember you, they have to know you. And the easiest way to do that is to publish. I see a lot of people afraid to publish, and mostly because they're afraid of disappointment. The negative feedback they might get. All I can always say is think about what could happen. I've never written next to my drawings that I am in a developing phase, because I'll always be in a developing phase. Even now. But if you feel safer that way, Feel free to make a fine print stating that you are a beginner. But never write something like "I know I'm suck. Don't look at it, I'm so terrible." If someone still says it sucks, give a big, thicc shit. As long as they can articulate what they don't like about our art, we should be happy with that, because it smells like a constructive criticism, which is very important in development. And if all you get is "lol you suck, your art's suck!" kind of message, then…well…what do you do with that? Delete the hell out of it and ignore. Someone's not paying attention to what their kid's doing again. At the first hand, you work for your own entertainment. There'll be people who love you and protect from any bully. You know, one of the hardest things about being an artist is learning to hold up your middle finger when you need to. I'll tell you smth. My partner's one of the most serious critics I know. He looked at my recent animation and said it had little to do with the lyrics. Ngl, I felt like shit. It wasn't the art the main problem, but the fact that I can't English properly and I'm listening to the rhythm, because I'm an instrumental person. For almost two weeks I've been trying to figure out how the two are related. If it doesn't work out, I'll just do it the way I originally planned. The audience will decide if they like it. If not, I'll think about my next clips. Do whatever you want, it's your imagination, your hand, your pen.

(I found this on Twitter, and I love it) We try to keep the server safe and clean, and the whole staff puts a lot of work into making sure that everyone's comfortable and has a good time in the community. It's not easy, because every day more people join and it's harder and harder to keep an eye on everything. Nevertheless, we're trying. If someone behaves rudely, we'll look at them with an angry-mom looking. I think the server is a safe place for a young, fresh newcomer to get to know people. We can't look after artists one by one, but we try to give out support and advice as much as we can. I don't know how much this message has helped, but I hope that I've encouraged you to share whatever you have with the world.

#Kriim advices #askbox

[aria-benedetto]

Author Ask Game

I was tagged by @verkja. Thank you for the tag!

I am going to leave this as an open tag.

What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

I didn't consciously choose a lesson, but I do think most of my stories/daydreams end up having themes that might be taken as lessons or morals (which I mostly put down to my fascination with tropes, concepts and media analysis. I cannot stop overanalysing every story I read, including my own).

To answer the question, for A Hero's Death, I think you could take "be careful what you wish for" as a lesson, although there is definitely a case to be made that there is something in there about hero worship and unquestioningly accepting explanations and narratives offered by autority figures? Kind of? *squints* Not sure that any of them are coherent, though, since a lot of the time my themes are less a lesson and more my own attempt to essentially debate nuance with myself.

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

I guess the biggest inspiration here is a mix of common superhero narratives and my personal pet peeves with them.

To give a concrete example, it never made sense to me how supervillains could take over major US cities and the government and military just... accept that? What? Because of that, in my worldbuilding, each city is essentially its own country and they are losely connected in something resembling the EU. That way there is a lot more leeway for different laws, supervillain takeovers and vastly different political landscapes in different cities.

There is also some inspiration in there from the real world and some things are just there because I wanted them to be there.

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

My MC is trying to solve a crime.

As for what I am trying to achieve, that differs strongly between pretty much all my MCs and Michael (the MC of this story). Usually, I find them interesting as characters and they work well in the scenario I want to invent a story about.

For Michael, I needed a complete outsider to the backstory (which is where this story actually started), because otherwise the plot wouldn't work. So what I am trying to achieve with him is have a narrator who can view the entire backstory through an outsiders point of view.

How many chapters is your story going to have?

... am I going to have to count now? *goes to the doc and starts counting*

Counting Prologue and Epilogue and provided I didn't miscount, 22. Probably.

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

Original content and I'm planning on posting it to tumblr.

When and why did you start writing?

This story? At the beginning of July, because I had been reading Writblr and Whumplr blogs for about a year at this point and wanted to try actually writing a story myself instead of sticking to daydreams.

Writing generally - I used to write short stories as a child and young teenager, but mostly stopped once school assignments moved from creative writing to essays. I still regularily write non-fiction though, mostly for university ... or because I write essays on topics I'm invested in in various forums.

Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

*blinks* I have no actual idea. Maybe that it helps (me at least) to not get invested in the idea of having a big reach? Writing niche stuff is fine and makes the handful of people who enjoy the niche really happy, because it is usually very difficult to find stuff for that niche.

I mostly follow a handful of blogs whose writing I got really, really invested in before I made an account. And I am really, really bad at remembering urls and I don't want to miss anybody, so I'm not going to list them, but they are all really great. Some are whump writers, some in the superhero and/or fantasy genre. Some write a mix of a lot of stuff.

Blank questions:

What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

How many chapters is your story going to have?

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

When and why did you start writing?

Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

#ari answers asks #ari plays games #ask games #author ask game

[ivyial]

hii, how are you? I stumbled upon your page and I started to check it out, upon doing that I came across one of your eagleone posts, and how you view the ship or how you view people who dislike the shop entirely for no reason at all. and to be honest I couldn't agree more. your choice of words and how you describe just makes my heart feel hope again. hope that there's actual human beings that are using a gift called a brain for once.

it honestly drives me crazy to see people literally sending death threats and literal racism to those who ship a ship that isn't quite popular. another account just a few days ago that speaks alot about eagleone and analyses their scenes and dialogues, got literal death threats that would me a grown adult puke from how disgusting to know such human beings exist.

( didn't realize to be that long LMAO )

anyway I just wanted to say that I absolutely love all your eagleone content literally makes my day <3

i- 🥺🥺❤❤ omg thank you so much anon

i've never been one for ship wars. what bothers me the most about the eagleone discourse (and the current cleon discourse on twitter as well) is how likening characters to siblings (eagleone) or saying one views the other as a kid (cleon - insane take but anyway) eventually becomes "these characters are LITERALLY siblings, they are so sibling coded to me that it essentially makes them actual siblings" and creates a breeding ground for harassment and accusations of proshipping.

shipping has always been a matter of personal taste, and it's one of those few things in fandoms where there's no need to debate about conflicting ships. in the end, you can just agree to disagree. i like X for those reasons and you like Y for those. that's it. ships are usually better enjoyed with fellow shippers. it only risks becoming an echochamber when people start to take it so seriously that their group of shippers decides to hate on everyone else, and eventually, to harass them.

which is unfortunately what is happening right now. i'm very aware of the death threats and everything else, and it's sad and infuriating to realise that fandoms will never change. idk how old you are anon, or if you were around on tumblr when it happened, but a few years ago, the voltron fandom was a big thing around here (i apologise in advance to everyone who had to live through that lmfao). klance was arguably the biggest ship in the fandom (keith x lance), so the shippers were actively campaigning for it to become canon. it got to the point where klance shippers sent the show creators cupcakes filled with glass shards to convince them to canonise the ship. I WISH I WAS FUCKING KIDDING

this stuff's not new, bullying fellow fans isn't new unfortunately, and bullying actors or producers isn't either. if i remember correctly, when supernatural s4-5 (i guess) were airing back in the 2000s, dean's love interest jo was removed from the show supposedly because fangirls lost their shit and sent hate mail to producers. but that's all speculation, i can't find a reliable source for that.

i wish people would stop taking everything so seriously and get this nasty over fiction. however, it's unlikely that it will happen, because fandoms are filled with kids who don't know any better, are sometimes fully raised by the internet and then turn into immature adults. it's rare to find spaces in fandoms were you can genuinely have fun and create content without being policed by 12 year olds, but when you can, it makes the fandom experience a lot better.

i don't put much content out there, but i'm glad to see that the few posts i write are appreciated!! i'm working on an eagleone fic rn so it definitely makes me want to keep working on it regularly and create more content 😭

#resident evil #fandom #eagleone #leon kennedy #ashley graham

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TWD 11x22: Analysis, Part 3 - Peter, Passover, RxR Spikes

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Tbh, I’m not sure we’ve entirely nailed down the point of the Peter symbolism. Beth clearly isn’t Peter. She’s Christ. So why go out of their to add in Peter symbolism? Of course Edwards = Peter. This is has been discussed extensively in the past, but him having Beth kill Trevitt was a betrayal, especially when he claimed he didn’t do it, so that was the equivalent of Peter denying Christ. But if they went out of their way to put it into Slabtown, you know there will be an equivalent when Beth returns.

So, as you mentioned above, the idea of them going to the Louvre in the spinoff is interesting and I’m sure it will have at least some symbolic relevance here, if not literal.

All your words about the 22 and the 12 made me think about them a bit differently than I have before. We’ve always said 22 was related to the return/Sirius stuff, and I’m sure that’s still true. But more specifically, I kinda feel like 22 is symbolic of something negative. Maybe the negative side of things. Shane wore the 22 necklace, and while he was friends with Rick, he was also the epitome of everything we don’t want our characters to be. He displayed cowardice, selfishness, deviousness, lack of loyalty, etc. 

In terms of situations, it’s clear from some of your pics (the Grady cop car, the sailboat with Michonne) that they represent Grady/the CRM, which are kind of the ultimate Bad Situation where things go wrong. Hence 22 = bad side of things. Perhaps the A side, which is the bad side, where in the B side Beth will live and things will be put right. Just spit balling here, of course.

Now, they’re calling Alexandria Outpost 22. It went from a free, loving place to one of violence and slavery under the CW. (Even though now Daryl and co have essentially liberated it.) You mentioned the two episodes that were number 22. In each, the person (Negan) either lost someone (Lucille) or became a sacrifice. But both times, he was becoming a better person. After Lucille, he went and helped some people who needed it. And of course, after Here’s Negan, he became Negan of the Saviors, which was a negative thing. But you could also see that as his first time through. His A side. The first time, he did something negative with it. This time, he won’t.

I really love the stuff about the railroad spikes being indicative of crucifixion. That makes a lot of sense, and I know with Daryl and Leah, we saw three of them pounded into a tree not far from her cabin. But it also makes me want to go back and re-analyze how they might have been functioning in each instance. 

Weirdly specific question: did we ever see Leah in the same shot with the RxR spikes? They’re entangled with her either way, since it was her cabin and her storyline, but we also know she’s a proxy for Beth. So, just wondering if we ever saw her in the same shot with them? Anyone remember?

Empty tomb/empty trunk/empty chair. 

I really love these phrases, both as images and also for what they mean in both a religious and fiction sense. I sat and thought about this for a while and had a bit of an epiphany, but it’s very nerdy and meandering.

I was thinking about these symbols and something I heard a long time ago in some Sunday class or other. I don’t remember the exact wording or who said it, so I’m definitely paraphrasing. But it was something along the lines of, “the real symbol for the triumph of Easter was that of an empty tomb.” So, the idea is, how can something empty, or something not being there, be a triumph? It’s a little counterintuitive. But the answer is that what was supposed to be there was a dead body. And the fact that it wasn’t meant he’d been resurrected. So the empty tomb symbolized the miracle of resurrection and that life had triumphed over death. I always thought that was a cool way to think about it.

I know I mentioned this next part before, back when you first pointed out the chair on the train platform when Daryl and Carol and everyone was debating whether to take Pamela’s deal. In the Jewish religion, during Passover, they leave an open chair for Elijah, who is supposed to be a forerunner of Christ’s second coming. So, from a religious perspective, the chair definitely foreshadows a return of the person who was believed to be dead. I can’t help but wonder if we’re seeing them in this storyline to show that this arc is the forerunner of Beth’s return.

So, you also mentioned empty trunks. That put the image in my head of Maggie opening the trunk in 5x10 and seeing the Beth walker inside. And I had this thought that Maggie had not actually seen an empty trunk. She’d seen one that was full of death. And that REINFORCED her belief in Beth’s death.

Okay, so this is where I stray from TWD for a minute to nerd out. I’m a fiction coach. Meaning I teach others about writing great fiction. My teaching technique focuses on the internal conflict. Many people don’t understand (and I don’t include anyone here in that) that while plot and external story events are important (vital actually) the story itself is built on the internal character change.

My favorite definition of story comes from Vogler. “A story is a metaphor for a journey that leads to change.” So, the foundation of the story is the character change. The events in the plot are how that change is brought about. There’s a misguided belief that you keep the audience’s attention through high action. Like fight or car chase scenes. And while those are cool, it’s really the emotion of a scene that keeps the audience invested.

The audience doesn’t care that the cars are driving really fast. The reason they like the chase scene is because the hero is chasing the villain, who has kidnapped his wife and child, and he’s trying to get his family back. Sure, the adrenaline affects us too, but adrenaline alone won’t sustain a story. Without the internal or emotional, you end up with B action movies a la Van Damme or Steven Segal. (Sorry if anyone is a fan of those, but they’re known for being all action and no substance.) No one cared about Rocky Balboa’s boxing scenes because he can punch really good. They cared because he was fighting for his family, his way of life, and his self-respect. Incidentally, all things that can be said about Daryl. While he isn’t a boxer, he can still punch pretty good. ;D

ANYway. So, when I’m helping people figure out their stories, I tell them to craft a misguided belief for the character. And this can literally be anything. Just something they believe that isn’t true. So, it can be literal/external (I’m not strong enough to win that competition) or internal (I’m not worthy of love). It can be very generic (love conquers all) or very story specific (If I just provide for my family and mind my own business, the Capitol will leave me alone – Katniss Everdeen). You get the idea. Any belief, depending on the story you’re telling, that is negative, misguided, and disempowering.

Once they have the character’s misguided belief, the next thing they need to understand is that every event that happens in the plot will affect the character in one of two ways. It will either reinforce their misguided belief, or cast doubt on it. The character will waffle back and forth throughout the story, but overall, they cling to the belief mostly through the first half of the story, but really tend to move away from it and toward a higher truth in the second half. The character’s transformation is them letting go of that misguided belief and embracing the truth, which leads to a higher enlightenment and a better quality of life overall. This is the basic internal arc for all stories.

Okay, so what’s this got to do with the whole Maggie and Beth walker in the trunk situation? As I said, it suddenly occurred to me that Maggie seeing the Beth walker in the trunk is what she believes happened with Beth. So it was REINFORCING HER MISGUIDED BELIEF. And that’s when it all clicked for me. This is nothing we didn’t already know, but it’s another way to look at it that makes a lot of the stuff going on in 11c make a lot more sense from a story structure standpoint.

Gimple took this notion of the misguided belief, which is usually internal and about an individual person, and made it external and literal. The group, as a whole, has a misguided belief that Beth died in Coda. She didn’t, but they believe she did. It’s negative, misguided, and disempowering. Everything that happened in 5b—Maggie and the trunk, Daryl seeing the blond walker on the tree, the abusive dynamic between Pete and Jessie, which mirrored Grady—all reinforced TF’s misguided belief.

Which is that the world is brutal, people die, you can’t always save them except through extreme violence, and things are always going to be bleak. It’s very similar to what Hershel tried to teach Rick in 4a. The empowering truth is that we get to come back from the things we’ve done. But there are times when Rick has had the misguided belief that that isn’t true. And now that is literal as well, because Rick is physically gone, but he’s gonna get to come back.

Now, let’s talk about Daryl. (Cuz we always get there eventually, right? ;D) We didn’t see much dynamic change from Daryl between Coda and Rick’s departure. He was always sad, surly, and bleak, but not much more than that. He went through a rage phase and a few other things, but again, not much positive change. Logistically, I think that’s just because the writers wanted to go through most of the comic book stuff before bringing Beth back.

I was also thinking that it’s actually kind of weird that Daryl hung around. We know, from all the way back in S2 after Sophia, that Daryl tends to self-isolate when he’s wounded. Especially when he’s grieving. And given what Beth meant to him, it really would have been more in character to take off on his own.

Why didn’t he? In a word: Rick. In fact, that may have been the whole reason for the “you’re my brother” scene. (Well, other than establishing a sweet and loyal relationship between these two BFFS. ;D) To give Daryl a reason to hang around. And of course he still self-isolates in other ways. Going into the woods to “look for water” or leaving Alexandria to hunt, even when it’s not necessary. He emotionally withdraws, even if he physically stays. But of course, when he loses Rick, that’s when he physically leaves.

So, my point, I guess, is that everything between Coda and Rick’s departure in Daryl’s arc reinforced his negative beliefs. Ever since Carol brought him back to civilization a la Henry, Daryl has started to move away from those misguided beliefs and toward higher truths. That family and civilization are better than isolation. That even if it’s not perfect, things are still worth fighting for. That he can be a conscientious and thoughtful friend (ie Connie and Kelly). He’s come into his own in terms of leadership. He’s become a guardian and father figure to children. Etc. This is probably why he was okay with the CW and even willing to join their army. In past years, I don’t think he would have been open to that at all, but he’s changed. He’s willing to fight for something even if it’s not perfect.

I also think this is why we keep seeing him observing other romantic couples. Let’s talk about the romance angle. Because I think this might be the over-arching answer to why the Leah arc. There are lots of reasons we’ve discussed at length, but from a Daryl’s-character-development standpoint, this will explain it.

Daryl’s misguided belief when it comes to romance is that he is either unworthy or incapable of sustaining a fulfilling romantic relationship. Based on past-Daryl, it’s safe to say that if he engaged in a relationship, as he did with Leah, and it went south, as it did with her, he would throw up his hands and swear it off. Something like, “see? This is why I’m a loner. I can’t do romance.” He would then isolate himself, not from everyone necessarily but from romantic relationships in general.

And maybe that is what he did after Leah first took off. Because, in his mind, before he understood who Leah really was, he probably thought it was his fault; that he screwed it up by not choosing her. 

That’s probably also why he went back and wrote her the note. None of us liked that because we didn’t like her and thought she was toxic, and we were right, but Daryl didn’t know that. He probably thought he needed to try harder and fight for the relationship. Which, if it’s a healthy relationship, is true. He was simply mistaken about it being a healthy relationship for him. And again, given the extent to which Leah misrepresented herself, that’s not entirely his fault.

But I think Daryl learning who Leah really was probably helped him gain back some confidence about what happened and his judgement of people. Clearly, he wasn’t the only one at fault there. When it came down to Maggie or Leah, he made a choice, didn’t hesitate, and wasn’t even really conflicted about it. That shows how much he’s grown. But my point is, he’s moving away from his misguided beliefs about himself and romance. And him observing other couples is part of that, I think. He sees others he respects not only willing to engage in relationships, though they might have doubts, but willing to fight for their own happiness. And that will greatly effect events when Beth returns.

Okay, sorry. Told you I was gonna geek out. The only other thing I wanted to mention goes hand in hand with this. It’s the A/B storyline stuff. And I’ve mentioned some of it before, but Carol keeps having dialogue that really jumps out at me.

In ep 21, she talks to Maggie about how if not for the Fall, they wouldn’t have known one another, but were forced to become family. She then says, “we’re not alone anymore and we’re going to figure this out.” (Paraphrasing.) That struck me as really significant. Even if you want to reach all the way back to S4 when we had the Alone episode, everyone ended up alone. Daryl was alone. Beth was taken to Grady alone. The rest of the group was in small pods, but they certainly weren’t together as a unified group.

And we’ve seen this other places on the show and talked about it a lot. The group has to be together in order to survive and make things work. Blair and Gina had to work together. All three communities had to work together to bring down Negan. Etc. But I wanted to specifically talk about the fact that Daryl says they can’t go get Connie. It will compromise the others, including the kids, that they are trying to get back. I can’t help but think that he’s thinking specifically about Beth there. He insisted on going into Grady to get her and Carol, and things went south.

So, I feel like he’s rebelling against his natural instinct here, which would be to go get Connie, because he’s afraid it will get her or others killed. But then, when Carol tells him to sit tight, he says he can’t do that. Despite his resolve to do the opposite of what he did in S5, he’s just not built that way. He can’t sit still when someone he cares about is in danger. Especially when they’re in the hands of an enemy who might hurt or exploit them. When the dying trooper says those marked as designation 2 are taken far away and never seen again, Daryl kinda freaks out. Of course it’s in that silent-urgency way he has, but he still kinda flips out.

Again, I can’t help but think that something in his head is screaming, “Beth! Beth was taken far away and never came back!” So naturally, he’s like, nope. Done with this shit! Outside, Rosita again says they can’t risk the troopers radioing ahead to warn the others they’re coming. D

Daryl argues that they can’t just leave Connie on the train. And then come the next line from Carol that demonstrates the theme: “I think there’s a way to do both.” So, we’ve always talked about how Rick’s plan at Grady was to go in with guns blazing. But Daryl was afraid of Beth or Carol getting hurt, so he talked Rick into the prisoner exchange. And of course, that REALLY didn’t go well either.

So, we’ve always thought maybe Rick’s first instinct, while it seems to be the riskier of the two, really would have been the better solution. But I don’t think that’s the case either. I think the point is that they have to have a little of both. They have to find a compromise that will work for everyone. Here, when they went to get Connie, guns were definitely used and they definitely had to kill people. But they also didn’t stand in front of the oncoming train and just start firing willy-nilly. There had to be a little of both. They had to be stealthy and minimize risk to themselves and their group, but they also had to use force where necessary.

I was thinking that at Grady, there was no show of force at all. Sure, they had prisoners to exchange, but clearly, they didn’t show enough force for Dawn to fear them. This is evidenced by her suddenly demanding Noah stay after the exchange was done. If they’d shown more force, maybe she wouldn’t have tried that because she’d have been too fearful of what they’d do.

Just throwing out some of my spinning thoughts on this. But we see this other places too. Blair and Gina come to mind again. They thought the solution was to let Gina go off by herself from the gas station, and they tried that. It didn’t’ work. They both still died and started the day over. So, if you think of Blair as A and Gina as B, it wasn’t an either/or situation that would lead to success. It was both. Which is exactly what Carol said. And I think the either/or IS the misguided belief we’re trying to get away from in the show as a whole. They need to learn to do both so everyone gets the happy ending they want.

You could argue this same thing with when Rick disappeared. Rick wanted to lead the walkers away. Daryl thought it was too risky and wanted Rick to come with him back to Alexandria. Rick led the walkers away, and it led to his disappearance. But I kind of think that if they’d gone with Daryl’s plan, maybe the walkers would have taken down the communities. So, it wasn’t either/or. They needed a little of both. But Rick went off on his own, ALONE, and then was taken, alone, to another place, just like Beth was.

Now, with this whole CW arc, we’re seeing the characters work together very seamlessly, and they’re having a lot of success. So anyway. I really will stop now. Thanks for coming to my TED talk. Forgive the nerdy ramblings of us fiction coaches. We’re a rare breed and often can’t help ourselves.  😊

@wdway:

I really enjoyed reading this. You know how I love long post that has a lot of meat to it. You asked above if anyone remembered seeing Leah in the same frame as any of the railroad spikes. For myself the answer is no. I can't remember ever seeing her and the spikes together. We only saw her at the front door from inside of the shack. For that matter in FM we never saw Daryl going into the shack using the front door except with Carol, years after Leah.

I did a hand palm to the face when I read where you wrote of Elijah and the empty chair at Passover. When Aaron (my son, not Moses brother)was little I and a friend did a Hebrew study for the elementary and middle school kids. For the Passover meal we actually cooked all the authentic foods, lamb and made unleavened bread. The kids made eat their meal using clay cups and plates that they made. I'm rambling, that was a little side tunnel, sorry.

So this fits so well into the railroad spikes because as I mentioned about the ones at Leah's shack door it reminded me of Passover and how blood was placed above the door. 

Another episode with blood around the door was WHWGO Noah's front door. You know that silly old episode where we actually see Tyrese's hallucination of Beth. Great connection on the empty chair.

@galadrieljones:

Like @wdway, I’m also face-palming with the empty chair thing. Every year we do a Seder and leave the empty chair for Elijah. We also leave the door open for Elijah, and we pour him a glass of wine. Elijah is a prophet who performed miracles, including resurrection, and his return is a harbinger of the messiah.

I have noted before that Gimple is Jewish. He’s practicing. His wife converted to Judaism to marry him. So, all of these things are layered into his consciousness as he crafts these stories. I remember a long time ago mentioning the mezuzah and its relationship to 30 Days Without an Accident. Daryl goes to Beth’s cell, and it is the 30th day without an accident. The number 30 has special meaning in Judaism. You have 30 days to affix a protective mezuzah to your door when you move into a new home. After a loved one dies, unless it is a child, you sit shiva for seven days and for 23 days after that you continue life in a reduced but certain mourning period—a total of 30 days.

All of this is just to say that there is evidence that the author’s point of view here is very important, and that evidence pointing to Jewish tradition and Old Testament symbolism is especially potent here. I think this makes Beth even more special, since Gimple chose to make her in the Christian tradition, a Christ figure.

This would signal the coming of a new era. Christianity also upholds a more forgiving image of God than Judaism, in which God is like a very stern, punishing father. I think Gimple is very interested in the notion of the messiah. In Christianity, we view Jesus as the messiah, and the Jewish belief in the messiah is what gave way to Christian beliefs in the birth of Christ. In Judaism, the messiah will one day return to lead the Jewish people back to the Promised Land. He will be born of the Davidic Line and rule as King of the Jewish (chosen) people.

Leaning into the number 12, as it is not only the number of Jesus’s disciples. In Jewish belief there is something called the 13 Principles of Faith, the twelfth of which is in the coming of the messiah. Elijah is the harbinger of the messiah.

I suppose it’s not then coincidence that there is currently a character named Elijah, who entered the story with Maggie, Beth’s big sister. I don’t think Elijah is himself an Elijah figure. I just think that when a Biblical name is used, that’s meant to conjure a Biblical theme in the given context. See: Gabriel, Leah. Now, as of 11.22, we actually have Luke returning to the storyline. In Christianity, it’s the Gospel of Luke that tells the story of the birth, ministry, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, the Christian messiah. Lots and lots of connections here!

Recalling now the empty chair beside Leah in Daryl’s first flashback in Find Me. The chair is shaped like a heart, waiting for Elijah to return, a sign that the “messiah,” or Beth, his true love may return soon thereafter.

@wdway:

Broken record but I love when we all play off of each other. After reading your response Tarah I feel even more confident that if blood above a door represents a Jewish theme then three spikes is the Christian equivalent. I too thought of Maggie's friend Elijah as a reminder of a biblical figure. In talking about Luke reappearing I'm sure is part of bringing all the living characters together for the end of the series but it does feel that it's also a reminder with a Galadriel, Luke and Elijah of a Bible theme of good vs evil. A beginning and an end and a Resurrection for a new beginning.

Acts of God. Two spikes near Leah's camp. Did anyone ever have any ideas on the strange box like object?

@twdmusicboxmystery:

No idea what the box is or what they’re doing for. But it reminds me of the Blair Witch Project.

@galadrieljones:

Me too lol. That’s like the first thing I thought. Is it some sort of trap? Like you step on a wire or something and it stabs you, or…????

But Daryl knows immediately it’s Leah based on the look of it. She clearly has some sort of thing for railroad spikes.

@wdway:

You're implying that Leah's responsible for the railroad tracks in the tree. I don't know at this point if I truly think that or if it is a writing direction that wants to make the connection. Has she simply camped near them, that they could be found all over the territory? I don't know what I'm talking about, just that I don't know that it's a isolated Leah symbol. It could also be a recognizable trigger for Daryl about Leah. I think it was Gabriel that asked something about the box, but they didn't say anything about the spikes. Ignore me I do not know what I'm talking about.

@galadrieljones:

I guess you’re right that we don’t know that Leah put them there. They seem to be “prelude” to Leah, like Daryl seeing them sort of leads to Leah, but there’s no way to know how they got there. Hmm.

Another mystery from Find Me.

Like how does Daryl know they mean Leah? Is it just a hunch? Or does he know how she loves railroad spikes? Or did he mark these places long ago that Leah is now returning to? Is this some sort of mind game? I’m confused lol

I know I initially thought Daryl put those spikes in the trees to control his delusions. I’m not sure about that anymore. But they do seem navigational, somehow. Idk!!!!

@wdway​:

What came to my mind was when they first met in FM she said, "what are you doing on my land." I kind of had wondered if Daryl had somehow marked the territory in which he had been searching. ???????

@galadrieljones​:

That’s a pretty good estimation. Idk?? Yeah, maybe they are meant to mark her “property lines,” or something? They do end up in the woods that lead to her house. But that’s still insane. Like she just decided one day “this is my land stay out no trespassing beware of DOG!”

Hard to defend land when it’s just one lady but then again she was a bit nuts so idk?

@wdway:

One thing seen certain, that we're not going to get any of these answers by the end of the series with only a couple of episodes left. For me this series isn't ending it's just moving on. So many questions left unanswered. 

@twdmusicboxmystery:

I totally agree with @wdway on that last point. The series isn’t ending, just moving on. It’s expanding. And there are plenty of unanswered questions still that are good fodder for the spinoffs. Thoughts? 

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

[apparitionsxanonymous]

Group Five (Part Two)

Apparition Anonymous is a collection of fictional stories told from the POV of the Grim Reaper as they guide newly departed souls to the Afterlife. Enjoy, and thank you for reading.

“No,” he said nonchalantly. “I used to do that sometimes, too. But it doesn’t mean she did it on purpose. Sometimes you did because you’re in a rush, but also sometimes you just didn’t see the people on the side of the road until the last minute.”

“True, but I will say that I blew by these people on the side of the road a lot,” she nervously chuckled. “I liked to drive fast.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh along with her or stare in disbelief. I also didn’t know if I should jump into the conversation, but the old man straightened in his chair.

“What if someone stole something from the store?” he questioned the young man. “Would you consider that bad?”

“Yes, of course,” he replied.

“But you don’t know why they stole from the store. You didn’t even question what they stole.”

“Why would I need to know that? Stealing is bad.”

“But what if they stole from the grocery store?”

The young man hesitated for a moment before shaking his head. “It’s still bad. You can’t steal from others, no matter how badly you need it. There are other ways to get help. You can get on food stamps if you need food that badly or you can ask a family member or friend for aid.”

“But what if they’re alone?” the woman asked.

“Again, there are other ways to get food.”

“What if they were too proud or embarrassed?” the elderly man questioned.

The young man shook his head. “That’s something they’ll need to get over themselves if they want to survive.”

“Wow,” the woman whistled. “You’re saying that you would excuse no one if they did something you didn’t agree with?”

The young man paused for a moment. “Well… I guess I wouldn’t say that. Who am I to judge what’s right and what’s wrong?”

The room fell silent. Then the boy pinched the bridge of his nose, hiding a smirk. “Alright, fine. You got me,” he said.

“Let me ask you one more question,” the elderly man began. “What would you do if you saw someone stealing food in the grocery store?”

“Probably nothing,” he replied with zero hesitation. “It’s not really my problem.”

“But then you’re part of the problem by letting the person get away with stealing,” the woman stated.

The young boy reached forward on the table, grabbing his drink. He took a long sip. It was quite obvious he was now trying to avoid continuing the conversation.

“Alright, I think we’ve unpacked a lot here,” I stepped into the discussion, ending the debate. “What everyone is trying to say here is not to judge someone based on what they did or didn’t do. Especially from when they were alive.”

“Have you spoken to all the souls who did bad things when they were alive? Like murderers and stuff?” the woman asked.

I nodded. “Some of them regret it, and others don’t. Some did it on purpose, and others didn’t. Every spirit’s story is unique from the previous one.”

I looked at the young man, still chugging his drink. “I’m sure there are things in life you did and regret. But then there are things you did that you’ll remember forever, that you’d boast about. And I guarantee if you told us all your experiences, we wouldn’t share the same emotions as you with each story. As I said before, we’re all born innocent, but the people we meet, the events that occur in our lives, and our choices all influence our life’s path. Sometimes you feel like you’re steering, and other times, you’re not.”

The woman raised her hand again, eager to speak. “I think I get what you’re saying. Despite everything we did when we were alive - whether it was considered good or bad - we all have a clean slate when we’re here. But we also remember our lives when we were alive, so we must carry those burdens with us forever.”

I nodded.

“There’s no need to judge other spirits based on what they did when they were alive,” the elderly man said. “They were judged enough while in the Living World. What the spirits need now, what we all need, is peace and acceptance.”

The young man finally withdrew the mug from his lips, placing it back down on the table. He drew in a sharp breath, sitting tall in his seat. “Okay, I see what you guys are saying now. This isn’t heaven or hell because, in the Afterlife, we’re all equal,” he stated, glancing his gaze in my direction.

I nodded, smiling.

The clock turned orange, and I stood. While this group session did not go as I originally thought, it was a delightful conversation, and I was pleased to see that each spirit seemed to get something positive out of it. I closed our discussion, and the souls said their goodbyes to me as they all exited the room together.

As soon as I was alone in the room, I whisked away everyone’s drinks, deep in thought. The truth was, all souls were equal in the Afterlife because they were already equal in the Living World. Humans had a habit of putting themselves and certain groups on pedestals. The notion that supposed good people would have it made in the Afterlife and so-called bad people would be damned for all eternity was utterly ridiculous.

But I wasn’t here to help the living live. I was here to help the dead live.

© Rachel Poli, All Rights Reserved

Thanks for reading. Apparitions Anonymous is updated every Monday and Friday. If you enjoy my work and want to stay updated with my writing journey, please visit my Ko-fi page.

#creative writing #paranormal fiction #short story #writeblr #writers on tumblr

[galacticwildfire]

Looking at your grades and realising the time to write your original novel and pray you find success is only running out by the day and becoming more necessary because fuck academia man

Slight rant below

A man who would hopefully be jailed in 2024 has a dream or produced drug fuelled thesis based on no evidence but his own perversions and it’s seen as fact, it holds the status of bible within its discipline, but I have an idea that slightly deviates and I’m a heathen

I mean fuck it, at this point I’d be better off devoting my time to writing five novels and praying one’s picked up rather than spending five years suffering through further study that I can’t afford and probably won’t get into at this point considering I had to drop a few units due to chronic illness and couldn’t get the penalty removed.

How the fuck am I meant to get documentation for bpd and pill induced permanent disassociation when they refuse to actually give me a paper diagnosis (because my doctors hate putting labels on things as much as my last situationship) but will still happily throw sedatives at me for it while telling me I have bpd but still refuse to give me documentation or a paper diagnosis.

Although considering I had a full ultrasound searching for pcos where they saw that my ovaries were covered in cysts, very clear pcos, and they didn’t even feel it was worth mentioning on the report I shouldn’t be shocked. How the actual fuck does a person who looks at ultrasounds for a living see the 14 follicles the technician pointed out on one ovary and write on the report that everything is normal. Cut to almost a year later and hormone testing told me yep, definitely pcos.

Thank god I have a new doctor now and am off those pills (Seroquel saved my life but also gave me a literal chemical lobotomy. I legit can’t remember shit and spend probably 80% of the day in a state of dererealisation and have worse comprehension skills than I did at 13). Not to mention the twenty kg weight fluctuations from going on and off it from 16-21.

As much as I dreamed of being a historian it looks like a masters ain’t gonna be happening with my gpa. I mean finding success in academia is just about as rare as finding success as a writer, at least this way I can save myself from going into even more debt because fuck Australia has some of the most expensive university fees in the world. And they decided to double the fees for humanities because “oh no, we need more people in agriculture and teaching” despite probably half of high school teachers doing a humanities degree and then a diploma of education.

With a bachelors I can still write history for public consumption I guess, non academic articles and all that along with books you’d find in public libraries, and considering academics absolutely fucking hate people in the public history sector I’m fine with that.

God it’s hard having always dreamed of going overseas and doing a masters degree and going into academia and then realising that the cost for living past the age of sixteen would be your intellectual capacity. I know I have brilliant ideas, and I can get them across in writing fiction, but academia would probably be the death of me.

At this point I’m seeing if I have the gpa to complete an honours, I have probably 8 months left on my bachelors without it. Considering I’ve written probably close to 300k words in the last year I’m aiming to get my own original manuscript done this year since they prefer beginner novelists to have between 80-100k for their first book. I’ve got a couple ideas but it’s time to decide on one and get it done. I’m debating between a sapphic tragedy and my own mythological story that would be part of an asoiaf like universe. I’m thinking the smaller project first since it would be a stand alone and to go from there. Turns out I also have 14k words worth of poetry when I compile them all into a doc so I’ll see what I can manage with that.

[blacksunscorpio]

Astro Musings No. 11

Venus/Jupiter aspects in the natal chart...

Will make someone generally likable, charming, generous, and agreeable- especially if it's a conjunction, trine, or sextile you're working with. They'll be the person who might be incredibly popular or someone whose creativity [Venus] is magnified [Jupiter]. They might be very beautiful or well known for their good looks. However, throw a square to Chiron in the mix and this individual might have a hard time believing it. Since Chiron is the place in our chart where we wear our inner wound and a square indicates conflict, the pain to either of these planets has to do with beliefs, how we're educated, and the overall philosophy of life. One could perhaps have a lot of doubt as to whether they are truly attractive.  They could be bullied or hated for their attractiveness or popularity. On the other hand, Jupiter Squaring Chiron can make someone have severe wounds concerning their spiritual beliefs. It's common to see this aspect in charts of people who were forced into a particular belief system or religion. In addition, it's also an indicator of those who were abused by organized religion. Often the case/in charts of those in the LGBTQ community who were perhaps shunned by conventional western religious constructs.

12th House Synastry is a bit like Russian Roulette...

Not to scare any of you with significant placements within this house synastrically or in composite, but remember what I said in Astro Musings 1 about Neptune? Wherever he is, there's going to be a feeling that something is hidden. Deception will be a big factor or just naivete or idealism. More so if the aspects in this house are squares/oppositions. With the Trines and Conjunctions, the energy here can feel incredibly spiritual and binding. [Don't bust out the champagne yet, I said FEEL binding- it doesn't mean it necessarily will be]. Sorry. North Node/Neptune might make you two dream of each other or have this strange 6th sense concerning them and their energy. Moon and Neptune will make two people have an uncanny knack for knowing what the other is thinking. It will feel downright Soul-Mate-esque. The same if Mercury and Neptune are joined.

Now, if the aforementioned aspect is afflicted, two people will Pinocchio the fuck out of each other.

The lies will be endless. Now this might not even be malicious, it's more so two people don't want to disappoint each other, so they put on an act they think the other will appreciate/wants to see. There's a lot of pressure to live up to the other person's expectations. Most of the time, the mask will inevitably fall off and bitter feelings may ensue. Choose honesty first.

Aspects to the ruler of the first house will have a similar vibe to aspects on the ascendant.

That’s because your chart ruler and it’s planet are leading your entire chart in energetic expression. By proxy, whatever happens to it [ruler of the 1st], wherever it is in your chart, will be magnified and displayed. For example, if you’re a Scorpio rising but Pluto is in your 3rd house, it might be very apparent to others that you speak and think deeply. Your communication can feel very “psychiatric" and probing. It might be the first thing people notice about you. If you’re a Sag rising and your Jupiter is in your 10th House, you could make a career out of travel or be famous. Everyone will notice your larger than life persona.

Aquarius Moon in the 5th just like these other aspects, can be an indicator of one who might have a fear of motherhood or pregnancy in general. In addition, One with a Cancer Lilith in the 6th might choose career over motherhood. In a woman’s chart, it can also be an indicator of someone who has reproductive [4th house/moon] issues [especially if there are afflictions].

Lilith in the 6th house may feel that they give more than they get. They might also reject the idea of daily work and routine or general discipline. There can be scandal’s at work as well. Wherever Lilith is, you can guarantee that there’s going to be some ‘taboo’ energy involved. Since 6th house is one of the money/career houses, it can indicate that this taboo will be related to whatever you do for a living.

Placements for those who love animals

Will be Neptunian placements ftw. Neptunians/Piscean placements tend to have a monopoly on the “beast whisperer” thing. That’s because Animals sit between the physical and the spiritual world. They see shit we can’t. So they’ll often take to those with strong “veil” energy. 

Cancerian’s come in at a cool 2nd. This is because their heightened sensitivity make animals feel them quite strongly. They also have strong nurturing energy which will draw pets to them.

Leos at No. 3- Leonine placements have an uncanny love for animals due to their playful and warm energy. Being ruled by the sun, they’ll be literally “beacons of light” for furry friends.

Virgo is ruler of the 6th house of work and routine. Because of their natural capability towards order and discipline, I often see this sign as pet owners. Often these natives have more than one. They’ll be the sign that has Fido trained and operating like clockwork. 

Speaking of animals, the signs I’ve seen to take to cats more than canines are Scorpio and Capricorn. Because of these two sign’s affinity towards introversion, it’s no surprise that one of the most introverted breed of animal feels right at home among them. On the flipside, I’ve seen on numerous occasions where dogs become quite obsessed [Pluto] with Scorpios, on the occasion where they’re not scared of them. 

In a female’s chart, Having asteroid Aphrodite squaring her Lilith

will mean her beauty will have a forbidden fruit vibe to it. Her charm will be directly tied to her wild femininity. However, there may be struggles in how she expresses it. Typical placement for someone whose kindness or mild flirtation will be received as overtly sexual. Her charm and grace might have a playboy or pornstar vibe or she may get her value from expressing herself sexually. It can also indicate one who is just oversexed in general. Be sure to keep those Trojans on hand and get those yearly check ups. Nothing wrong with expressing yourself in such a way but Lilith can also indicate diseases of the venereal nature, especially if in the sign of Scorpio or afflicted in the 8th House

Talent in Fashion Design in the Natal Chart will be

Sun in Libra [Andre Leon Talley]

Venus in the 10th

Taurus 10th House

Libra 10th House

Venus in Virgo

Venus in the 6th

Moon conjunct Venus

Venus in the 2nd House

Mercury in harmonious aspect to Venus

Neptune in Libra

Venus in Sagittarius [Expansive/creative mindset/abundance]

Neptune in harmonious aspect to Venus [Anna Wintour]

Talent in Libra

Scorpio Stelliums [Pluto rules the underworld where jewels and finery reside- Gianni Versace and Anna Wintour have this in their charts- So does Grace Kelly]

Having Nessus in Capricorn can indicate that the father figure in your life might have been a bit abusive or a source of pain.

Having Asteroid Talent in the sign of Gemini might make one very well adept at wordplay. They could have a talent for writing or have hardcore skill at wit. In the 12th house might make them very skilled at writing fantasy or even writing for film/fiction.

Uranus in the 1st can make someone unusual looking, they may look androgynous or dress in a ‘rebellious’ or ‘avant-garde’ way. I’ve also seen 1st house Uranians have flat affects. They can have a demeanor that comes off as detached or in general RBF.

Speaking of Uranus, if you had an absentee father figure...

check to see if your 4th house has Aquarian or Uranian influence. In addition, see if your Sun is inconjunct to your Uranus or squaring it. 9 times out of 10 when I’m analyzing a birth chart, I have a native tell me their father skipped out or split from life very early. There’s always a story there.

Asteroid Psyche touching your 10th house/MC might make you a very skilled Psychologist. Asteroid Psyche [16] is about the mind/soul. If it’s in the house of work/reputation/prestige, you might apply this asteroid's energy to your career

Multi-planet oppositions in the natal chart

Will indicate a push-pull in your natal energy. You’ll be the person who struggles between two mindsets constantly.

If it’s between Gemini and Sagittarius you’ll struggle with the logical and philosophical. You may have constant existential crises. On a positive note, if you’re able to balance it, you’ll be able to see multiple sides of an argument. This is an ideal aspect for someone who debates, is in law, or journalism. If it’s between

Cancer or Capricorn you will deal with wanting to be self-sufficient but also have a deep need to nurture or be nurtured.

The Sign your Sun/Rising is in in your Solar Return Chart

Will usually indicate the energy you’ll take on for the year. In Aquarius your might be tech minded and quite detached. In Virgo, you may be especially detail oriented and cerebral. In Scorpio you may find yourself more emotionally sensitive, probing, or ruthless that year. In Leo, you may be more outgoing- self-centered, or unusually popular.

A Taurus Venus will like to feed you to show you they love you. Being Wined and Dined is how this Venus placement likes to demonstrate they care. They may also like to give you gifts to show you their admiration.

Sorry to break it to you, mutable gang...

But Sagittarius, Gemini, Virgo, and Pisces are among the top signs found in Serial Killers. I.E

Ted Bundy- Sagittarius

Jeffrey Dahmer- Gemini

John Wayne Gacy- Pisces

Mary Bell- Gemini

George Chapman- Sagittarius

Charles Cullen- Pisces

Danny Rolling- Gemini

Marybeth Tinning- Virgo

Alton Coleman- Sagittarius

Kenneth Bianchi- Gemini

Andras Pandy- Gemini

Dean Carter- Virgo

Andrew Cunanan- Virgo

Richard Ramirez- Pisces

Randy Steven Kraft- Pisces

Terry Blair- Virgo

Timothy Krajcir- Sagittarius

Yikes....

Taurus Suns, 11th House Virgos, Cancer/Capricorn 5th Houses, and Libra 7th Housers are typically the “Parent/Mom/Dad” of their friend groups.

Believe it or not, when it comes to “jealousy” over material things, it’s not Scorpio. Taurean/Leo placements [typically risings and Suns and moons] and especially underdeveloped will be the types to hate on you for having something [Usually clothing, car, house, etc] they want. Scorpios, though famous infamous for the jealousy stereotype, will usually show this trait only in romantic entanglements. This is because Scorpio is a water sign. Their primary mode of operation has to do with the emotional realm.

Mars in the 10th House is usually seen in those who make athletics part of their career. 

Mars in Gemini have the most savage comebacks. They will make you feel so stupid if you argue with them. Mars is war and Gemini is wit. You’ll be hard pressed to win a battle of words with them.

I find those with Mars in Aquarius or aspecting Uranus will swing both ways sexually, regardless of how they identify.

Venus in Aquarius don’t really like to be touched/hugged. Picture Voldemort hugging Draco. Ironically, they will usually be the type of people to take up professions where they have to touch others. I've seen copious nurses with their Venuses touching Aquarius. Massage therapists as well. Might have something to do with the love [Venus] of helping others [Aquarius].

Those with multiple planets in the 12th House can make excellent actors. This is because their personality is in a mutable house. They can morph and chameleonize themselves very easily. Superb for taking on multiple personalities for their craft.

Men with Mercury in Leo, Capricorn, or harmonious aspect to Pluto tend to have very deep voices. There’s also a soothing vibe to them as well. James Earl Jones, Liam Neeson, and Anthony Hopkins all have these placements. 

Contrary to popular opinion, Gemini isn’t the only sign that can be a “jack of all trades”. In fact, Libra Suns often fit in in various roles/professions. This has a lot to do with their diplomatic nature. Because they are often the peacemaker and a bit passive than their cousins, they are often welcomed in many different circles. This allows them to excel with networking/social climbing.

Jupiter conjunct/Square Saturn and Capricorn 9th Housers

are the placement[s] I see the most in those who have a deep skepticism of Astrology. Their belief system can be rather rigid [Saturn] which makes it harder/ for them to be open minded [Jupiter] to other schools of thought.

Each Planet/Sign rules a day of the week. Whichever day you were born can inadvertently make you take on some of the traits of that sign, regardless of what your “big 3″ are. 

For example: If you were born on a Wednesday, ruled by Mercury, you can be especially cerebral or witty. Tuesday, ruled by Mars can make you fiesty, athletic and perhaps a bit impatient like Arians. Friday, ruled by Venus can make you extremely charming and friendly. Saturday, ruled by Saturn can make you extremely entrepreneurial-minded whereas being Born on a Monday [Moon] can make you security and family oriented.

Venus in Sagittarius, Sagittarius 5th House, 2nd House in Sag or Venus Aspecting Neptune in the sign of Sag might make one have an affinity for entertainment from foreign countries. I see these placements in the charts of those who enjoy anime, foreign film, or those who have a knack for languages [lot of trines to Jupiter is also an indicator of the latter.]

Asteroid Priapus... will make you want to uncontrollably merge with someone.

 [I’m not even kidding. I had this aspect with someone and my Priapus touched their Jupiter and I wanted to tear the kid’s clothes off. All my friends had no idea what I saw in him. To them, he was not my “type”- whatever that means.] The sign Priapus is in will give you a hint as to what turns you on. In Virgo, someone clean cut, organized or well-groomed might tickle your fancy. In Libra, someone fashionable and sweet-natured. In Aries, someone outgoing or athletic, Capricorn, there can be an affinity for someone older, someone accomplished, or a general “daddy” fetish. 

Sun conjunct Pluto or Sun Square Pluto...

will have gnarly authority issues. Same with Mars in the 1st or Mars in any of the career houses. They do not like being told what to do whatsoever. If you try to boss them around, they will do the opposite just to spite you.

In synastry, a Double Whammy of Sun/Pluto

energy will make two people addicted to each other. All their forbidden fantasies [Pluto] will be exemplified by the other person’s presence [Sun]. The sex will be on the rougher side and can make two people obsessed. However, if a break up were to occur, this placement will make it damn near impossible for two people to be friends again. There’s just too much passion involved.

Astro Musings No. 1  Astro Musings No. 2  Astro Musings No. 3  Astro Musings No. 4 Astro Musings No. 5  Astro Musings No. 6 Astro Musings No. 7 Astro Musings No. 8 Astro Musings No. 9 Astro Musings No. 10

#Astro musings #Astro Musings No. 11 #Hope this helps Y'all #FYP #Astrology #My writing #Blacksunscorpio #Enjoy #feel free to add in comments #astro tumblr #astro notes

[boxofbonesfic]

Title: Talking Bird (Chapter two)

Chapter 1

Summary: Sometimes when you stare into the dark, the darkness stares back in kind. You’ve been living in hell the past three years, so you’re familiar with the look of devils—so you think. They see darkness in you, and they’re determined to make you embrace it. As soon as your good-for-nothing husband is out of the way.

Pairing: Steve x Reader x Bucky

WARNINGS: DUBCON, Murder, violence, General criminal activity, Manipulation, Abuse (past abuse, but still), Abuse victim reader

A/N: Geez, I really hope people like this, lol. Please drop me a line and let me know what you think!

A/N #2: This is a work of FICTION, and it is Dark, so I assume once you’ve clicked through the link that you are comfortable with that. I do not give consent for my work to be copied, translated, or posted elsewhere, even if I am credited. This work is entirely mine, and unbeta’d, so read at your own risk! Enjoy 😘

Chapter two: You’re kept in an open cage, so you’re free to leave or stay... 

You didn’t remember going upstairs, or falling exhaustedly into bed, but that was where you woke up. For a moment you were confused, but the memories of the night before rushing back to crowd your skull. 

Glenn.  

You sat up quickly. His usual side of the bed was cold, and his pain pills lay on the bedside table, untouched. You swallowed thickly. 

“G-Glenn?” You called hoarsely, your voice coming out in a harsh croak. You tried to swallow, but your mouth was dry. “Glenn?” There was no answer. You could hear the dripping of the faucet echoing in the silence of the apartment. He wasn’t there, you realized. He’d never come home from the club… Your stomach turned, and you threw off the blankets and rushed to the bathroom, barely making it in time to heave the meager contents of your stomach into the toilet. 

He would never be coming home from the club. 

You heaved again. 

Was this your fault? You hadn’t pulled the trigger, but you may as well have. You’d spent the entirety of your relatively short marriage lying, why couldn’t you do it one more time? You wiped the sick from your face with a shaky hand. He’d offered you up like a pig for slaughter, like a purchase he regretted and needed gone as soon as possible. If Glenn was still breathing, it wouldn’t be for long. You rinsed your mouth out with cold water, shuddering at the memory. You caught sight of yourself in the mirror—you looked more tired than you had yesterday, and you’d only just woken up. Your eyes were dull, your mouth pressed into a grim line. 

You ran a hand through your tangled curls. The bruise at your collarbone had faded even more, and was now a sickly yellow, tinged with purple. The one on your thigh was still there, an ugly reminder. You caught sight of your own hand resting on the sink, and a sharp gasp left you as you brought it quickly to your face, confirming your suspicions. 

Your rings were gone. The engagement ring you hated, and the plain gold wedding band were both gone from your finger. Had they slipped off? Had you lost them somewhere? Suddenly, the image of Bucky’s sly smile came to you, unbidden, and your knees began to shake. Had they taken them? You doubted the rings were even worth much, but you still found yourself strangely sad at their absence. 

We’ll pick you up tomorrow night.

Fresh panic set in. They were handsome and charming, and your face flamed at just the thought of their hands on your body again, but they also terrified you. You’d watched them debate killing Glenn with all the emotion of someone killing a roach. Glenn was a roach. The cruel part of your brain replied, and you shook your head to clear it. Would they even remember to come for you? 

As if in answer to your thoughts, there was a knock on your door. Your heart pounded in your chest, and you nervously twisted the hem of your t-shirt in your fingers. Another knock sounded. It couldn’t have been Glenn—he would have pounded on the door until the neighbors came out and told him to stop. 

You waited a few minutes before cautiously making your way to the peephole. There was no one in the hallway. You cracked the door open, before sighing with relief. It was just a package. A small one, too. You picked it up with one hand, kicking the door closed. It was light, and rustled when you moved it. You undid the plastic wrapping carefully, wondering if it had been delivered in error. You hadn’t ordered anything, and unless it was pills or booze, it probably wasn’t Glenn’s either. 

It was a dress. 

Gold, slinky, expensive feeling fabric slid against your fingers as you held it up. The dress looked short, with a halter neckline that plunged below your cleavage. You blushed, knowing there would be no way to wear a bra with this getup. It certainly wasn’t something you would have ordered for yourself—definitely a mis-delivery. As you began folding the dress up, your foot hit against something on the floor. You squinted. A card had fallen from the folds of the dress. You picked it up, your eyes going wide. 

See you tonight, doll. 

S+B

You threw the dress back into the packaging as if it had burned you. 

You needed to get out of the city. 

—

“P-please.” Bucky said nothing, but exhaled a cloud of cigarette smoke from his nostrils. Glenn had been down there since last night, shivering in the cold, concrete basement of the club. There were only a couple of rooms down here, all soundproofed. 

It wouldn’t do to hear people screaming from the entrance. 

“You know there’s no way out of this.” Bucky said calmly, squatting down next to the other man’s wriggling form. His hands and legs were bound tightly with duct-tape, as was most of his body. His eyes and mouth remained uncovered, however. 

Hence the pleading. 

“I’ll get—” Bucky didn’t let him finish, his fist snapping out to catch him in the ribs. Something cracked, and he let out a strangled gasp, and more quiet sobs. 

“You don’t seem to grasp the gravity of this situation, Glenny-boy, so I’m gonna spell it out for you.” He grasped Glenn’s shirt, pulling him up from the floor a little. “You’re gonna get dumped in the bay today. Just like this. Might even put a few stones in your pockets to speed it up.” He sighed, taking another long drag of his cigarette before putting it out on the exposed skin of Glenn’s cheek. He screamed. “Why’d you have to make her cry?” He asked, turning the other man’s head roughly so that he was forced to look at him. “I hate seeing pretty girls cry.” 

Steve’s voice from the doorway made him turn. “He give you everything yet?” Glenn squirmed in Bucky’s grip, and Steve watched placidly, unaffected. Glenn moaned, and he watched with a pleased expression as Bucky drove his fist into his face. 

“We’re still getting acquainted.” He grunted, wiping his bloody knuckles on his jeans. 

“He made her cry, Buck.” Steve growled, narrowing his eyes at the panting man on the floor. He strode into the room and kicked Glenn onto his back. “You never deserved her.” He said lowly. “What kind of fucking slimeball tries to sell his wife?” 

They’d only told her half the truth—Glenn hadn’t just offered her up to them to use, oh no, that would have been too kind. He’d tried to traffic her. Steve and Bucky didn’t deal in the sale of human flesh, but Glenn didn’t know that. 

They’d taken one look at you and known you’d be better off with them. You were so perfect for them, you just didn’t know it yet. “I’m sorry,” he whimpered again. Buck had lost count of the apologies that had left Glenn’s mouth. They meant nothing. 

Steve grabbed a fistful of his hair, tugging him up to sit against the wall. “We’re going to fuck your wife, Glenn.” He dug your wedding set out of his pocket, fingering the tacky, cheap looking rings. “I don’t even think she counts as yours, no rings on her finger.” He reached forward to tuck them into Glenn’s shirt pocket. “That’s for the ferryman.” You would be far from the first woman they’d shared, but you were certainly the first to have both of them so interested.

Bucky chuckled at Steve’s words. “Might even keep her, too. Show her what real men can do for her.” Glenn let out a strangled protest, the words garbled by blood and broken teeth. Bucky chuckled. “No need to thank us, really.” 

“We want to know everything about her, Glenn. And then we’ll let you go.” Steve said, ruffling his hair. “Well, we’ll let you rest I guess.” 

And he did. He told them everything he could remember—her parents addresses, being key amongst his confessions. Bucky was disgusted by how little he knew about his wife. He didn’t even know her favorite color, for chrissakes. “You’re pathetic, you know that?” He said, sighing. 

They pitied him—pissing away a perfectly good life with a perfectly good woman. Steve leaned into the hallway. “Scott.” Another suited man appeared around the corner, his shoes tapping against the concrete. He grinned at Steve and nodded in greeting. 

“Boss-man.” 

“Go feed the fishes.” 

Scott gave a cartoonish salute. “Your wish is my command.” 

They didn’t stay to watch Glenn pleading as he got dragged off, barely able to move through the bindings. They would take him to one of the shipyards—probably flip a coin to determine which one—and then untie him, and drop him in. By the time the cops found him, the trail would be long cold. They would probably think it was a mugging gone wrong, Steve fingered Glenn’s wallet and keys and shrugged. Not that it mattered. They had most of the police force on their payroll—the commissioner too. 

Bucky strode out of the cell and stretched. “Think she’ll run?” He asked, grinning. 

“They always do.” Steve replied, licking his lips as he thought of kissing you again. “That’s what makes it so fun to catch them.” 

—

You looked around the apartment. You had most of what you needed—you didn’t have much you were attached to. There wasn’t anything of worth on the janky desktop in the bedroom, and most of the jewelry you did have was fake. Your little 

duffel just contained the essentials—your wallet, your favorite and most necessary clothes, your phone and charger, things like that. You didn’t know all of what Glenn had gotten into, but there was no way it was anything good. 

You knew mobsters when you saw them. And the fact that they were interested in you… You felt equal parts afraid and enticed. You shivered, remembering the feel of Bucky’s rough fingers through your panties, and the taste of whiskey on Steve’s mouth. No. What you’d seen last night was just a tiny glimpse into the way they lived. Your stomach turned, remembering the gunshot. 

You couldn’t be part of that. Your stomach flip flopped again when you realized that perhaps they might be toying with you, too. You didn’t want to end up like Glenn. 

You shoved your feet into your sneakers, and tugged your mass of curls into a pony-puff behind your head, and tugged a baseball cap over it—just in case. Glenn had the keys to the car— that bastard— so if you wanted to get out of the city, you were going to have to do it by train. Glenn had already drained your bank account, so you were left with what petty cash you’d hidden around the house. 

Two-hundred and thirty-three bucks. Not much, but it would have to do. Your chest tightened as you thought of your destination. You hadn’t seen your parents in over a year, and you’d not spoken to them in almost as long—Glenn hated them. He said they judged him, and like the good wife you were, you let him cut them out. 

You hoped they would be happy to see you, you didn’t know where you would go if they weren’t. You headed out into the hallway, locking the door behind you. You’d left the dress in the packaging on the table, and there it would stay until the landlord had everything carted off to be sold at auction or thrown in the trash. You took the stairs two at a time, but hesitated at the main entrance. You peered out into the busy street, suddenly afraid. What if they were watching you?

Did it matter? You had to try. You pushed through the door and stepped out into the warm summer morning. It was still early, before 11 even, but the sidewalk was still crowded as you made for the train. You would take it to Grand Central station, and then take the train to Connecticut. Your parents lived in a house maybe a twenty minute drive from the station. It didn’t take long to get to Grand Central, and you finally felt comfortable, invisible in the teeming mass of people sweeping its halls. 

You headed for your train, and seated yourself near the window, waiting until you were outside to fish your phone from the pocket of your jeans. You weren’t sure what would be better, a phone call or a text. 

You decided ultimately to call, your heart pounding in your chest and your mouth dry as the line rang. 

“Hello?”

“Um, Hi. Mom, it’s me,” You said, your words stilted and awkward. You heard silence on the line. Was she angry? Did she blame you? “I, um, I’m sorry I haven’t called—”

“Oh baby. It’s so good to hear from you.”  You let out a strangled sigh of relief as tears filled your eyes at once. You hadn’t been sad, but suddenly you were sobbing, uncaring of the few other passengers around you who looked up concernedly. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Where are you?”

You sniffled. “Mom I’m coming home.” You said in a small voice. You didn’t want to recount everything now—you weren’t even sure you could tell her. Would telling your parents what had happened to Glenn endanger them? You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if something happened to them. 

You’re living with yourself just fine after what happened to Glenn, the dark part of you whispered, and you shook your head, sniffling. That wasn’t your fault, was it? Your mother’s concerned voice brought you back to the present.

“I’ll get your room ready.”

“Thanks mom. I… I can’t wait to see you.” 

—

They were waiting for you at the station when you arrived, your mother bouncing excitedly on her toes and grabbing at your father when she saw you. He smiled when he saw you. She couldn’t wait for you to come down the steps, rushing up against the tide of people to wrap her arms around you. You broke down again, tears soaking the shoulder of her sweater. 

“I missed you so much,” You sobbed, dropping your bag to return her hug. “H-he made me—”

“It doesn’t matter now. You’re here with us, and we’re going to take care of you. Where is Glenn?” She asked, her eyes darkening as she pulled away. You swallowed thickly. 

“He’s gone.” 

Your mother ignored your protests as she picked up your duffel bag, and headed for the car. Your father swept you up into a hug, pressing a whiskery kiss to your forehead. 

“Look at you. You cut your hair, didn’t you?” He asked softly, setting you back on the ground. You shook your head, laughing, even as you wiped tears from your cheeks. It felt good to see them again. The house was exactly as you remembered it, and your room was the same too. You laughed at the pictures of yourself from highschool—cheerleading, swim team… Who even was that girl? Were you still her? 

You didn’t know. 

You tossed your bag onto your bed, and threw yourself down next to it. You knew you couldn’t stay here forever, but… Maybe you could get a job in town. Save up for your own car, and get even further away. You’d always wanted to see California…

You didn’t remember falling asleep, but when you woke up, it was dark. You sat up in bed, listening. The house was quiet around you, and for the first time in a long time, you felt… relaxed. You stood, stretching, and headed for the door. There was a folded note slipped under it. 

Food is in the stove for you. 

Love, Mommy

You smiled, before tossing it into the trash beside the door. The stairs were only a little creaky as you crept down to the kitchen. As she’d promised, there was a plate of covered food inside. You didn’t bother heating it up as you went to town. You were starving. 

You felt for your phone in your pocket, and you pulled it out, the glow illuminating your face. You had missed several texts over the past few hours. You squinted at the screen, unlocking it. And… they were from two numbers you didn’t recognize. It looked like you’d been mistakenly added to a group chat. You opened the message app, your hands began to tremble as you read them. 

Unknown number: We’re here, doll.  

Where had they gotten your number? The next text was sent a few minutes later, just a series of question marks. Your heart pounded as you scrolled down, seeing the picture the second number had sent. 

Unknown number 2: Did you not like the present, baby? 😩

It was followed by a picture of the dress on your bed, spread out neatly. You swallowed thickly, wondering which number was Steve’s, and which was Bucky’s. How had they gotten into your apartment? Were they still there now? You kept scrolling.

Unknown number: At least tell us you’re safe, doll. We’re worried about you.  

Yeah right , you thought to yourself. More like worried I’m going to tell someone… You swallowed the lump in your throat. That one had been sent just two hours ago. The phone vibrated again, and you squeaked in surprise, nearly dropping it. 

Unknown number 2: If you don’t respond, sweetheart, we’re going to have to come get you. 

Your heart hammered in your chest as you typed. 

Leave me alone.

A speech bubble, indicating that someone was typing instantly appeared at the bottom of the screen. 

Unknown number 2: Is that any way to treat your suitors, doll? 

Who is this?

Unknown number 2: Guess. 😘

Bucky?

Unknown number 2: Steve, she’s on to us, lol. You’re so smart, baby. Where’d you go? I was looking forward to taking you out. 

You weren’t sure there was a way to communicate just how wrong it was to go out with the men who had murdered your husband. 

I can’t go out with you. Not after… everything. You were afraid to even type out what had happened. Leave me alone. 

Steve: If you come, and decide you hate us, we’ll leave you alone, doll. Scout’s honor. 

You could practically hear his smooth voice through the text. Decide you hate us. Did they not think you already hated them? You did, didn’t you? Cold lead settled in your stomach as you realized with horror that you didn’t . 

You weren’t sure what was worse, the fact that you didn’t hate them at all for removing Glenn from your life, or that a little part of you wanted to go. You wanted to be wined and dined, and—the apex of your thighs gave a hot pulse—maybe more. Glenn had put in the effort to reel you in, of course, to your parent’s dismay. But after, things had rapidly gone downhill. Hell, last night was the first time he’d taken you out in ages, and that had ended… badly. 

I’m afraid of you. You replied honestly. Maybe that would get them off your back. It was strange that they were both trying to pursue you together, too. Your cheeks heated as you wondered how that might work—you’d never been with more than one person at a time before. You’d only had a couple of partners before Glenn anyway, so it wasn’t as though you had much experience to draw on. 

Bucky: Oh doll… We would never hurt you. We want to see you smile.

Steve: Give us a chance, doll. We’ll never bother you again. 

You knew they wouldn’t stop. They knew you knew too much, and they were trying to bring you into the fold any way they could… What would happen once they were done with you? Was there a worse fate waiting for you when you would inevitably be discarded? They probably already knew where you were, too. It had been stupid to think you could escape them just two hours outside of New York. Maybe if you bided your time, strung them along, you could escape the bars you felt rapidly closing in around you. 

Just one? And If I say stop…?

Bucky: Then we stop. 

You didn’t believe him. 

Steve: You won’t want us to. But whatever helps you lay that pretty head to rest is all right with me. 

Bucky: Enjoy your weekend with your parents, love. We’ll pick you up on Monday.  

You threw your phone onto the counter, uncaring when it clattered loudly against it. Your chest was heaving, and your entire body felt tight with tension. They knew you were here, just as you’d feared. You half expected them to pop out of the phone, but you knew that was ridiculous. You put the rest of your food into a tupperware container and stuffed it in the fridge—your appetite had suddenly soured. You gingerly picked up your phone, moaning in frustration when you saw the screen was cracked. 

Great.  

You slept fitfully that night when you finally did get to sleep, and though you couldn’t remember your dreams in the morning, you’d woken feeling panicked and trapped, your sweaty limbs tangled in the sheets. It was hard for you to enjoy your time with your parents, as your mind kept drifting back to the inevitable. If you left before they arrived would they be angry? Could you risk their anger? 

On Sunday afternoon, as you sat out in the yard with your mother, you caught her frowning at you. “What’s wrong, mom?” 

“I didn’t see that before.” She said softly, pointing down at your leg. “Glenn give you that?” The ugly purple bruise on your thigh had softened to a sick looking yellow green, and you swallowed. You hadn’t gone much into detail, but you’d said that you and Glenn were done, and that you would never be seeing him again. If only your parents knew the finality in your voice wasn’t because you’d finally wised up and left him—it was because he was dead . 

“Y-yes. But I told you—”

“He’s gone.” 

“Yeah.” 

She looked a little happier after that. 

You didn’t get any more messages from Steve or Bucky that weekend, but when Monday morning finally dawned, you woke feeling nauseous. The pleasant, bright weather you’d enjoyed all weekend had given way to a gray and dreary Monday, and it was drizzling when you sat up in bed. You’d told your parents you would be leaving,  but that you would be back soon. Your little escape attempt hadn’t gone very far, you thought grimly. 

“You catching the train?” Your father asked, eyeing you over his newspaper. “I can take you before I head to work.”

“No, I um, I have some friends picking me up. They, um, have family up here too.” You lied, holding his gaze. He shrugged. You felt bad, lying to them, but it was for their own good. It was better that they thought Glenn had just up and left, rather than knowing the truth. 

“Okay, well, if you’re alright. You should come up more often, you know your mother really misses you.” 

“I will, dad.” 

Your father went to work, and you hung around with your mother, following her around the house like a puppy. In truth, you were afraid to be alone with your thoughts. Having things to do helped to distract from the anxiety of knowing that Steve and Bucky were probably on their way there right now—and who knew what they actually intended to do with you once they had you? 

You helped her mix compost when the drizzling stopped, and tidied up around the house while she chatted at you. Before you knew it, it was already midday. Perhaps they’d forgotten? You thought, wiping a bead of sweat from your forehead. You went upstairs to your room, and laid down on your bed. You didn’t realize you were dozing until the loud sound of a knock startled you awake. You could hear your mother downstairs rushing to the door, and you ran to the staircase, leaning over the bannister just a little.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Mrs. George…” You gulped down a breath of air. That was Steve’s voice. You felt your vision narrow a little as your knees wobbled. So they hadn’t forgotten after all. You heard your mother’s voice again through the haze. 

“—Oh sure. She’s right upstairs.” You saw her step away from the front door as Steve’s expensive looking shoes appeared, and then he ducked his head into view, grinning up at you. 

“Hey, doll.” 

Next Chapter

#dark!bucky x you #dark!steve x you #dark!steve x reader #dark!bucky x reader #dark!steve smut #dark!bucky smut #mob!avengers #mob!au #mafia!bucky #mafia!steve rogers #black reader #Talking Bird chapter 2 #boxofbonesfic #Streets series #Talking Bird fic

[agustdakasuga]

Between The Bloodshed | Chapter 18

Genre: Mafia!AU, Angst, Romance, Fluff

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Characters: Doctor!Reader, Gangster!Namjoon, Gangster!Seokjin, Gangster!Yoongi, Gangster!Hoseok, Gangster!Jimin, Gangster!Taehyung, Gangster!Jungkook

Summary: Being a freelance doctor, this was just supposed to be any other job, helping a private client and taking care of him through his recovery. But you were not expecting to get caught in something so much darker that would change your life entirely.

There are just too many things going on right now with a heavier workload and more responsibilities. But maybe now is the best time to address the emotions that seem to be running too high. 

Warning: This story is fictional and has nothing to do with real life events or the actual members of BTS. It may contain depictions of violence, blood shed/ gore and mentions of abuse. Please read at your own discretion.

Chapter warning(s): Mentions of glass injury, censored curse word by angry Yoongi, reader goes drinking so alcohol mention. 

With the birth of your new niece, you had been even more busy, if that was even possible. Unfortunately, Jisung wasn’t able to stay over anymore because you were worried about him knowing what the boys did as their ‘jobs’. 

“Koo, I know it hurts but you have to stop moving.” You scolded as you used your tweezers to remove the shards of glass from his knuckles. Jungkook whined as he winces in pain. You had to make sure you removed every little piece of he might get an infection. 

“I told you to stop being reckless.” You sighed, placing the pieces of glass onto the cotton pad. 

“I was careful...”

“You punched through a car window. I don’t know how careful that was.” You rolled your eyes. When you were sure all the glass pieces were out, you moved the magnifier lamp away and threw the glass away. 

“I wasn’t going to let him get away. So I punched through the window and pulled him out.” 

“Okay, you already know what is next. So take a deep breath.” You warned, getting the antiseptic spray ready. 

“Can we skip that?” He whined. 

“Can you not get so badly injured?” You retorted, making him pout. You shook the bottle and he took a deep breath, biting his bottom lip and scrunching his face to brace. 

“Okay, we’re done.” You cooed. Jungkook let out tiny whimpers like an injured puppy, his eyes glossing over. You patted his head, gently dabbing his wounds with a cotton. Once that was done, you wrapped his knuckles up, fastening them in place with some medical clips. Jungkook watched as you cleared up the messy area, disinfecting the table after. 

“How’s your niece?” 

“She’s doing good, both her and her mother are getting all the rest and care that they need. Her name is Yuri.” You said, scrolling on your phone to show Jungkook a picture. 

“She’s cute. She has the same eyes as Jisung.” Jungkook smiled. You laughed, nodding in agreement. 

“So... did you find someone to accompany you to the ball yet?” He asked, finger drawing imaginary shapes on your desk. 

“If you couldn’t tell, I’ve been rather busy the past few days. And unfortunately, finding a date for the ball is at the end of my priority list now.” You scoffed, typing on your computer. Jungkook just hummed. 

“Well, I was wondering if-”

BANG!

You turned your head to see Yoongi standing at your door. His shoulders rise and fell with each pant. A deep frown was on his face and even if it was anger, it was very rare to see Yoongi display such strong emotion. You weren’t scared but worried and curious. 

“Out.” Was all he said to Jungkook. Jungkook didn’t even bother arguing like he usually did, standing up and making a beeline for the door. 

“What’s wrong?” You stood up. Yoongi seemed to hesitate for a while, it was obvious he was having an internal debate with himself. He untucked a manila folder from under his arm. 

“Yoong-”

“Just read it.” He cut you off, sliding the folder across your desk to you. You gave him a look before undoing the string, looking at the contents. 

“What does all that mean?” He asked impatiently. 

“Yoongi, this-”

“Just tell me.” He pressed. 

“It’s cancer. That’s all I can tell you now.” You sighed, putting the summary report down. Yoongi seemed shock, walking back into the chair opposite yours. It was silent as you continued looking at the other reports and Yoongi let reality sink in. He stared ahead blankly but you knew Yoongi well enough that he didn’t want to be comforted right now. 

“What else?” He asked. 

“Yoongi, you can shout at me all you want. But I am not telling you anything else until you tell me who this report belongs to.” You said firmly. Yoongi glared at you but you weren’t backing down. 

“Half brother.” He mumbled. Considering Yoongi has never even mentioned any siblings before, you believe this half brother was estranged. 

“He won’t let me near him after what my dad did to his mother. Getting a copy of these reports was the only way to know what was really going on.” Yoongi explained briefly. 

“It’s non-small cell lung cancer, stage 3.” 

“What does that mean? Can he be cured? Whatever needs to be done, I’ll do it.” Yoongi said firmly. 

“At this point, it still seems regional, which means it is only affecting the tissues in the surrounding area. It hasn’t widespread yet. Surgery can be performed to remove the affected tissue followed by chemo or laser therapy to kill off any other affected cells.” You informed. 

“Can you do it?” This was Yoongi practically begging at this point. 

“Can I do it? Yes, I can. Will I do it? No, I won’t.” You said, placing all the medical documents back into a stack, putting it back into the original envelope that it came in. 

“WHY THE F*CK NOT?!” Yoongi stood up with so much force, his chair fell back, crashing onto the ground. 

“If you read the report, you would know that your brother’s cancer has only gotten to this stage because he refuses treatment of any kind. He refuses to take even one pill from his doctor. You force him to do such a big surgery he doesn’t want, any plans you had of making up for your broken sibling relationship will be gone.” You frowned. 

“Hyung...” The others appeared at the door. They had rushed over when they heard the crash. 

“When Min Geumjae comes to me on his own will and tells me he wants the surgery, I’ll do it. But until then, I refuse to even look at his file.” You pushed the manila envelope back to him. 

“Hyung.” Namjoon brought Yoongi out to cool down. You let out a sigh, shivering slightly as you turned your chair around, back facing the boys. 

“This is the last thing I need.” You rubbed your temples. 

“Hey, you alright?” Hoseok’s soft voice appeared on your side. You opened your eyes to meet his worried ones. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” You replied a little colder than you intended to, turning back to your computer. The boys cast each other uneasy looks before everyone was ushered out by Jin. Only Jimin remained behind. 

“Say, what are you doing tonight?” He asked, leaning against your desk. 

“Chim, I really don’t have the time for this. If you aren’t injured or need medical help, please go somewhere else. I have work to do.” You said, typing away the report that was on your screen. Even your big computer monitor looked like a mess with multiple windows everywhere. 

“Come out with me. Tonight.”

“Chim, I-”

“I’ll meet you at the foyer. 9pm.” He smiled sweetly before getting off your desk and walked out. You stared at your closed door before shaking your head and turning back to your work. 

It was close to 9 when you came down from your room. You didn’t know how to dress but if you were going out with Jimin, you knew you had to meet standards. 

“Where is he?” You checked the time on your phone. 

“Uh, going out...?” Namjoon saw you and immediately grew curious. You were in a short, black bodycon dress with a slit on your left thigh. 

“Yeah.” You nodded. Some others passed by and also couldn’t help but stare at you all dressed up. They loitered around, wanting to see if they could catch a glimpse of someone picking you up. 

“I’m here! Sorry for being late but we can do now.” Jimin came rushing down, adjusting his suit jacket. He was in a more casual suit than the usual business ones the boys wore, the red jacket and pants complimenting to loose, black undershirt nicely. The others that were there in the foyer were speechless with their eyes wide. Jimin was taking you out?!

“Let’s go.” Your words confirmed their suspicion. 

“You look nice.” Jimin complimented. You let out a hum, bending slightly to wear your shoes. 

“The driver is outside.” He held his arm out for you to take as you headed out the door. You failed the hear the scrambling of footsteps from the others, rushing to the window to see Jimin opening the door for you. 

“What?!” Taehyung screeched. 

“That hyung is good.” Jungkook shook his head. 

The car stopped in front of a building. The neon sign flashed ‘Filter’. You remember this as one of Jimin’s businesses. 

“Come.” The driver opened the door for the both of you. People who were either waiting to get in or entering stopped to stare at the both of you. The girls squealed at Jimin’s good looks but the boy only focused on you. He placed a hand on your waist. 

“Good evening, boss.” The bouncers bowed. 

“That’s the boss?” 

“He’s so good looking!” The people were whispering. When the bouncers opened the velvet rope, Jimin led you in. The staff must have known that Jimin was here because some guys immediately came to you to serve you. 

“I’ve got it, guys. Thanks. But she’s mine.” Jimin waved his boys away. You couldn’t help but heat up at his words. 

“Yes, boss. Have a nice evening.” They wished the both of you and bowed before leaving the both of you. You felt rather lost in this whole situation, you’ve never seen this side of Jimin before. 

“You look like a lost lamb.” Jimin chuckled. He continued to guide you to the elevated VIP platform. Your booth overlooked the other club goers. 

“What would you like to drink? It’s on the house. You can just sit back and relax.” Jimin asked as you sat down. 

“Well, if you say so, Mr Park. Then I’ll start with a red sangria, please.” You ordered with a chuckle. Jimin laughed along as he nodded and sat down beside you on the plush couch, pressing a button on the armrest. In a few seconds, a tall male in a suit came in. His name tag flashed ‘manager’. He bowed deeply to the both of you. 

“A red sangria for her and a beer for me to start.” Jimin ordered. 

“Yes, sir.” He bowed and left. 

“You know, I’m perfectly fine being with the normal people downstairs. I don’t need a VIP booth or any special treatment.” You said. 

“Nonsense. (y/n), don’t you realise? You’ll be granted entrance and a VIP booth to anywhere that you go. It doesn’t matter whether me or the other boys are there.” He raised an eyebrow. 

“What do you mean?” 

“That.” Jimin pointed. You followed his finger to your bracelet on your wrist. The very one that Namjoon gave you when you joined. 

“That bracelet is a symbol that you’re part of the family.” He said briefly. You looked at the bracelet. Even if it was dark, the pink diamond charm was shining brightly next to the wing charm. 

“Don’t take it off.”

You remember Taehyung’s words when he first put the bracelet around your wrist. The manager coming back in with your drinks broke your train of thought. Jimin handed you your drink and you clinked glasses together before taking a sip. You let out a relaxed sigh. 

“It’s good.” You smiled, swirling the drink in your glass. 

“I’m glad. Have as much as you like.” Jimin grinned as he sipped his own beer. He was just happy you were smiling again. 

“Jimin... You probably think I’m cruel, huh? For not helping Yoongi.” You guessed that Jimin knew the situation with Yoongi since he was one of the ones that was the closest to the elder. 

“Why would you think that?” 

“Do you know why I refuse to do the surgery?” You asked as you stared at the drink in your hand. Jimin shook his head. 

“Because, I’ve seen it all before. Families, relationships, torn apart... Because some people think what they’re doing is the best for the patient. But have they really asked the patient what they want? My parents were all for it. Doing big surgeries brought a lot of good image and reputation but I didn’t want to be part of that.” You confessed. 

“(y/n)...”

“That’s why I can’t do it. I’ve seen people bribe patients to do surgeries with such high risk just to give the press something to write about.” You said. 

“I know Yoongi only has good intentions. He only wants his brother to live. But at what cost? If his brother doesn’t want it, who are we to make that decision for him? We can’t just make him do it.” 

“I never realised...” Jimin said. 

“It’s just the way the world is. Why do you think I live through my parents’ snide remarks instead of giving in to work for them?” You chuckled bitterly. 

“A son of an old patient contacted me that day. His mother needs a heart valve replacement, which can be a rather risky surgery considering her age and it’s open heart surgery.” You started. 

“Is she going to do it?”

“She didn’t... That’s why her son wanted me to convince her. I told him I would look at the medical reports before speaking to her. In the end, I declined. Yes, cruelly, I’m letting someone die. But why am I trying so hard to convince someone to do something they don’t want to do?” You looked at him. 

“Of course, I know when people have a chance of living and yet, they refuse, it’s a shame. But I willingly live with that guilt and regret.” You threw your head back. Jimin wrapped an arm around you. 

“I hate seeing you upset.” He comforted. You closed your eyes, putting an arm around him. 

-

“Hehehe.” You giggled as Jimin carried you into the house. Maybe you had a bit too much to drink but you were very insistent that you were not drunk. The other boys came down. 

“Oh my... How did she get so drunk?” Jin’s eyes widened when he saw you. None of them have ever seen you in that state before. Seeing the other boys standing there, you blinked at them before grinning and waving at them. Namjoon was the first to take you from Jimin. He gave you an amused smile and you poked his dimple. 

“Cute.” You commented. 

“Let’s get you to bed.” Namjoon said softly. 

“But I’m not sleepy...” You mumbled, cuddling against his chest. Jungkook patted your head. 

“Hyung, can we talk?” Jimin asked Yoongi. Yoongi nodded his head wordlessly, walking with the shorter male out to the garden. Namjoon looked at the two before bringing you upstairs. 

“Who are you?” You tilted your head. 

“Namjoon, doc. Did you forget me already?” He chuckled.

“Doc... I’m a doctor?” Your eyes widened as you pointed at yourself. Namjoon hummed in reply with a nod, kicking your room door open. He placed you to sit on your bed. 

“Woah... I’m a doctor. That’s cool. And what about you, Mr Namjoon? Are you a doctor too?” You asked. 

“No, I’m not a doctor. Only you are a doctor.” He said, grabbing some makeup wipes and began to gently wipe the makeup off your face. You seemed so fascinated with the life you were learning about from Namjoon. 

“You’re really nice, Mr Namjoon.” You giggled. 

“Thank you. Now, doc, do you think you can change out of your dress and into these?” He asked, holding up a shirt and some shorts. You stared at the articles of clothing before nodding your head. Namjoon ushered you to your bathroom and closed the door, staying on the other side. 

“I’m done.” You said. Thankfully, you were able to successfully change. Namjoon tucked you into bed. 

“Goodnight, doc.” He wished. 

“No, Mr Namjoon, don’t goooooo.” You whined, holding onto his wrist. 

“Come on, doc. Be good, you have to sleep. We can hang out tomorrow.” He coaxed. You pouted with a frown, crossing your arms like a little kid throwing a tantrum. 

“Well, then what do you want to do?” 

“I don’t know... I want to stay with you.” You said sadly. Namjoon smiled endearingly, patting your head. He helped you out of bed and into his room. 

“You can stay here with me.” He got under the covered. You snuggled close to him as he leaned against the headboard, reading his book. Even if you weren’t doing anything, you were content. 

“Are you comfortable?” Namjoon asked. You nodded your head, yawning again. He reached over to pat your head.

“Mr Namjoon?” 

“Hmm?”

“Do you have a girlfriend? Or someone that you like?” 

“I don’t have a girlfriend... But there may be someone I fancy. Actually, doc-” When he heard no sound from you, he stopped. Looking down, Namjoon saw that you were fast asleep, tucked under his arm comfortably. Namjoon closed his book, putting it on the nightstand before turning off the lights. 

“She probably thinks I’m just like her parents. Or all those other people she hates.” Yoongi sighed, leaning against the railing of the gazebo. 

“She’s doesn’t, hyung. You know doc isn’t like that. She knows all you wanted to do was help your brother. None of us would know all this, she only told me tonight.” Jimin shrugged. 

“All I did was add to her stress.” 

“Hyung, stop. Doc always tells you about taking all the blame on yourself and how it’s a bad habit.” Jimin scolded, making Yoongi hang his head. 

“Well, she said that she won’t do the surgery already. So I guess there’s really nothing else I can do except speak to my brother to try and get him to do the surgery... Or just watch him die.” Yoongi said bitterly. Jimin knew Yoongi was just at lost and as painful as it sounded, those were really his only options. He wrapped his hands around the older.

“No matter what his decision is, I’m sure he would appreciate your support. It’s never too late to mend a broken relationship.” Jimin comforted. 

“That’s if he ever wants to see me again.” 

“You’ll never know, hyung. Maybe a serious, sit down conversation is all you need.” Jimin pulled away with a chuckle. Yoongi forced a small smile, nodding his head in agreement. 

“About doc, I’ll speak to her soon. Thanks for taking her out.” Yoongi patted Jimin’s shoulder.

“I didn’t do it for you.” 

“Huh?” 

“I didn’t do it as a favour for you. I did it because I hate seeing the woman I love upset.” Jimin said before turning around to talk back into the house. 

~~

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[taeescript]

29+1 (Part One)

𝔰𝔶𝔫𝔬𝔭𝔰𝔦𝔰: In which Seokjin is the Devil from The Devil Wears Prada, Taehyung is your work Jesus and Jimin is your handsome successful brother. 

𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: seokjin x reader (taehyung x reader if you squint real hard) 

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: slice of life; ceo!seokjin (diva!seokjin)

𝔴𝔠: 3.6k

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: heavy use of alcohol as a coping mechanism, a plethora of sarcasm (please don’t be offended) and a sprinkle of softness (is that a warning?). 

𝔞/𝔫: this sat in my unwritten folder since 2017 no lie. I wrote the premise and a singular paragraph at that time, then just gave up. I opened it a few days ago, got inspired again and this word vomit came out (heavily influenced by a midnight Zoom call with my friends). Ngl this was so much fun to write, and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did. This will probably be in three parts.  𝔡𝔦𝔰𝔠𝔩𝔞𝔦𝔪𝔢𝔯: I did not know that DailyHive is an actual online news source when writing. This work is purely fictional and has absolutely nothing to do with the real DailyHive. 

part two

Your friends have a saying: After 29, nobody shares their age until they’ve accomplished something. 

In the past, you didn’t understand it. What’s so bad about saying you’re 30 or you’re 32? That’s still a young age! Sure, you’re not exactly in your prime anymore but you’re not old, right?

So, you continue in your own wondrous world of naïveté until that fateful day at your class reunion. You had simply been walking around, minding your own business when you had been stopped by an old colleague.

“Hey, Y/N, right?” she waves you down. 

You smile kindly, not even bothering to try and remember her name (you sucked at names, what could you say). 

“Hey…you!” you chuckle lightly, “How have you been doing?” 

An everyday question leading to catastrophic effects. 

“Oh you know,” she says and rolls her eyes as if you truly did know, “I’ve just been out and about. Did I tell you though? I got married last year!” She holds out her hand in which a giant diamond adorns her finger. “Wow!” you gasp, feigning interest. It’s not that you aren’t happy for her, but you are reminded of just how single you are currently. When was the last time you felt another human’s touch? Does kissing come back as easily as riding a bicycle? “Hey!” she says suddenly, “I’m actually meeting with a couple of friends from our class. You should come join! I’m sure they’d be happy to see you again!” You want to wave her off, but against your better judgment, you find yourself following in her footsteps and listening to her speak about wedding venues and honeymoon destinations.

“Oh my god!” another female voice filters in.

The “couple of friends” this old classmate had mentioned is in fact a fairly impressive size of twenty. This is also the third time the wedding announcement has been made. 

“Last year?” the female continues, “Weren’t you young?”

Yes, you want to respond. Yes she was young. A full 365 days younger than she is now.

Your classmate, Sooyoung (or Kiko as she insists going by now) titters in front of you. “I mean, you can sort of say I’m a late bloomer. I got married when I was 31.”

Her words unintentionally cut into you. Here you are at 29 without a beau in sight. You take a fast swig of your beer and end up hitting the empty glass with a clink to your teeth. Nobody notices.

“Enough about me, however, how about you?”

“I started my own business actually. It’s been doing really well and it’s been a crazy mind. Imagine me, my own boss at only 33!”

You nervously join them when they suddenly laugh together.  

“Hi, can I get another pint please? Actually add a tequila shot to that,” you whisper the last part to the waitress you had just stopped.

And that was how the rest of the night went. People asking one another what they had accomplished. Any moment in time after 30 would not be mentioned until somebody travelled to Uganda to build houses at 31 or another gave birth at the same age. Below 30, anything would be attributed to luck or in your case…

“What are you doing currently?” somebody asks you, “The little baby of our class.”

Swallowing your third tequila shot of the night, you wonder for the umpteenth time how you had become a part of this giant sharing circle. You wonder if it’s a blessing or a curse that you had graduated a little early and thus was younger than most of your peers.

“Well,” you start, “I’m currently working at DailyHive.”

“Ohh!” a man gushes. You recognize him as the once-upon-a-time science partner you used to cheat notes off of. “I use DailyHive nearly as much as Instagram these days. You guys cover everything from news to sports to fashion.”

You shrug. “Yeah. It’s, uh… it’s a pretty big company!”

“What are you doing there?”

Kiko-ex-Sooyoung hits the man teasingly on the shoulder. “Y/N is probably the Director of Marketing or something. Remember how she used to spend all class doodling in her notebook?”

“Or sleeping!” someone quips.

You don’t join in when they all laugh.

“I’m…an intern,” you say with as much pride as you can in a group of established professionals ranging from dermatologists to that one guy who had flown around the world as a TedTalk guest speaker.

A hushed silence befalls everyone.

“That’s…cool!” the same man encourages you, “Interns are totally rad! Everyone wants an intern spot these days.”

His girlfriend pats your arm, almost empathetically. “Yeah. I know a bunch of people who first start off as interns and then they shoot up the ladder quick enough. As long as you’re no longer an intern at 30, you’re golden!”

Once again, the entire group laughs as if she has said the most hilarious of jokes.

She composes herself and says to you, “Because after that, you should have accomplished something.”

Her words still ring in your ears as you sit at your desk this morning.

Yeah…something. All you need to do is accomplish something in the next three months before you are officially, 29 + 1.

Your fingers tap against your thighs silently while you observe the current debate that is occurring in the conference room. You barely have time to sweep the falling hair back behind your ear as your fingers ferociously fly across the keyboard to keep in track with the meeting.

Fei is arguing that the implement of a new search word system would boost users while Daniel says that it is a waste of resources. Instead, everything should be put into updating the entire system as a whole. You have long since lost track of their words as neither pertain to what you do as an intern.

“Enough,” the CEO of DailyHive holds up a hand. His one word causes the entire room to hush over – truly, the words of a god.

And that might as well be what he is. With his hair swept back and a lone tendril curling perfectly above his brow, Kim Seokjin is legitimately a walking god. Off his broad shoulders hang an expensive white linen suit bought with his pocket change and your yearly salary. A pair of sunglasses hangs in the V of the collared shirt dipping low enough to blur the lines between being fashionably professional and just downright sexy.

The snap of his fingers brings you back to the present.

He dramatically rolls his eyes and accepts that you are an incompetent minute-taker.  

“I have to remember that the world just doesn’t move as fast as I do.”  

                                                            - Quote: Rolling Stones 2019 Kim Seokjin.

Now if only he’d remember he had once said that.

He points at each of them with one finger, then swipes to the left. “Both of you, solve this outside. I don’t want to hear your voices any longer. You two from the marketing team, Ungroomed Stache and Acne Chin, create me a report if we are to implement Ms. Song’s idea. The two of you from…” he takes a pause here clearly having forgotten who his employees are, “The two of you do the same thing but for Mr. Hwang.”

The pair from accounting open their mouth to protest that they are in charge of only numbers, but they are ignored.

“All of you out now. Except you,” he points his finger directly at you, “Stay.”

Nobody utters a single word until they have all left and you are left alone with him. Standing before him with your hands folded nicely in front of you, you blink and wait.

He stares right back at you, picks up his coffee mug and drops it. The clatter of ceramic smashing against the ground causes a pause in the loud buzz outside the room. You know everybody’s focus has been shifted into the room.

“Do you want to kill me?” he drawls.

You take a long inhale. “No,” you say.

“No?” he repeats the word, “Well I think you do. Did you check this coffee before you brought it to me? I tasted cinnamon in it. You know how I’m allergic to cinnamon. Get me a new cup. And this mess, get somebody to clean it. I don’t want the smell of coffee in this room when I have my next meeting here in twenty. I’m taking a smoke a break.”

He stands up and brushes past you without saying anything else.

Nobody can be allergic to cinnamon. Besides if he had actually tasted cinnamon and was that sensitive, he would be dead. And good riddance to that.

Of course, you say none of this and wordlessly begin to pick up the broken ceramic pieces of the dead mug. The bustling outside the meeting room has returned back to its normal state of chaos. Seeing the ugly stain of coffee on the once pristine carpet causes you to swear beneath your breath.

“Who the fuck is allergic to cinnamon?” a new voice says, sliding up beside you.  

The second god in DailyHive; the much nicer and evidently preferred Kim; Taehyung takes the mug pieces from you and drops it into the garbage bin.

Blessed with not only intelligence but devilishly model-like features, he is your desk buddy in the small space allotted for interns and your sole friend in the company.

“Tae,” you sigh with exasperation upon seeing your lifesaver, “What am I going to do about this stain? He’s going to return in fifteen and there’s no way I can get a coffee stain out of this expensive-ass carpet.”

Taehyung taps a long finger to his lips, leaves the room briefly, and returns with a roll of Bounty sheets and a can of Febreze. He promptly blots as much of the coffee off from the carpet then proceeds to pull the meeting table.

“C’mon, Y/N, don’t just stand there. Help me! Time is of the essence!”

You laugh and join him in moving the table so that one of the legs cover the stain 80% of the way. Once he is satisfied, he takes the Febreze and sprays until the whole room smells like “Hawaiian Aloha”.

“You’re welcome.” He gives an extravagant bow, the motion popping open the top button of his shirt to expose a surprisingly chiseled chest.

Fei returns back into the room holding a phone to her ear and a clipboard in her left hand. “What the hell? It smells like a Bath & Body Works in here. Intern, aren’t you supposed to be filing or something? Stop standing around and be useful.” She grips Taehyung’s arm and drags him out of the room. “Button up. This is a professional workplace.”

You give him a tiny wave as Taehyung is steered away by his girlfriend and back to the cubicles.

Taehyung may be your saviour at work, but outside, it cannot be denied that your brother is the true Fountain of Life.

A week has passed since the coffee incident (you suspect a cleaning personnel had found the stain and cleaned up after your improv as aforementioned stain can no longer be found), but Jimin still brings it up.

“I still can’t believe that he said he was allergic to cinnamon. I’ve never heard of such bullshit before,” your brother says over the phone. You can practically hear his eyeroll from across the world.

As a renowned ophthalmologist, you have not seen Jimin for close to a year as he has been initiating his new clinic, a flying eye hospital.

“You should hear his Starbucks order. I always feel like I’m ready to launch my next EP whenever I’m at the counter,” you say.

Jimin laughs. There is the muffled sounds of voices as his never-ending flow of patients have arrived for the day.

“I shouldn’t keep you,” you say upon hearing that, “You’re probably really busy.”

“No,” he says, “I’ve got a few minutes if you’ve got a few. I miss talking to my baby sister.”

“I’m not a baby anymore, Jiminie,” you say using the nickname he hated.

“Oh that’s right. Your birthday’s in a little under three months, right? My baby sister is turning the big three-oh.”

“God, don’t remind me.”

“Want me to come visit you?”

You contemplate the idea once, having not seen Jimin in quite a while.

“Only if you have time. But I feel like Mom and Dad would probably want to see you more. Speaking of which, um… How are Mom and Dad?”

“They’re good. I hear Dad is finally going to retire this year. He’s giving his practice to Kibum, you remember him? Mom will probably start pestering us about what to do for his retirement party.”

There is a pause.

“You know, it wouldn’t hurt to say hi to them once in a while.”

You sigh. “And say what? Hey, it’s me. The child that ran away from home at 18? Yeah, I’m not a doctor like everybody else in the family but a 29 year old intern at a popular app company. Whassuuup?”

“Y/N, that’s not what I – ”

“It’s okay, Jimin. I’ve come to accept that not everybody is cut out to be a doctor. I just wish Mom and Dad could realize that.”

Jimin sighs on your behalf. There is the sound of a crying child coming through the earphone. “Well, your contract expires a few weeks after your birthday, right? Who knows, you might be the next Mark Zuckerberg.”

He has never explicitly inquired about your life plan and you know this is as much as he is willing to push without asking, “What’s next after this intern hiccup?” At least he had the decency to compare you to a controversial Internet entrepreneur.

The child is crying much louder now.

“Again with my birthday. But I’ll let you know,” is the only reply you can come up with at the moment. “Okay, brother, go forth and heal the blind. I bless thee in the name of the Holy Spirit, Son and Ghost.”

There is true laughter that rings from Jimin as he ends the call. “It’s Father, Son and Holy Ghost you dweeb. I love you sis.”

“You too.” You hang up first before he can add anything else.

With that, you enter into the 7am Starbucks queue and prepare yourself in running the first single of your long overdue EP.

Seokjin leans back in his chair, watching you from inside his office. Today he has chosen a black turtleneck and a brazen maroon-nearly purple suit jacket to complete the outfit. For once, there is an empty mug of coffee beside him and his morning headache has been appeased.

He knew he had given you an impossible task.

“Compile all the troubleshooting errors we have received since the launch of DailyHive. Organize it in a manner that allows me to identify the most prominent problem. Run it through whomever you please before giving it to me. I don’t need to waste my time correcting your mistakes.”

There is an amused smile that bubbles beneath his otherwise stoic features. He cannot deny that there is, might he dare say, a cute quality about you as you manually scan through the received concerns on your laptop dating back to the initial beta tests – the ones that were lost in a data crash and only backed up with unintelligible scribblings of previous interns.

The moment you had been introduced as the new intern, you had caught his eye. You are exquisitely mundane, and perhaps the reason you had even caught him the first time was due to solely to the fact that you were older than most interns – himself even. Nevertheless, you continue to present him small surprises in your tenacity and capability to tackle challenges.

“Mr. Kim.”

His intercom comes alive with the voice of his secretary.

Seokjin’s eyes do not leave you as he answers.

“Mr. Hwang is on line two. Would you like me to defer him to a later time if you are currently busy?”

Seokjin cannot help but sigh. Hwang Junho, his co-founder, while a genius in international business is also a notorious chatterbox and gossip. There is seldom a reason for Junho to call him except to relay the cover titles of E!Magazine.

“Did he mention a reason for calling?” Seokjin inquires.

His secretary seems to be reading from a note. “He says it’s to do with the company. Something he read from Cosmopolitan this morning.”

So not E! but another sister celebrity gossip blog. He checks his watch and duly notes that he certainly has no meetings scheduled until later in the afternoon where your report would be needed to run a preliminary analysis.

“Sir?”

“Yes, put him through. But tell him I’ve got only five minutes, so he’s better give me the Cliffnotes version,” Seokjin sighs again.

Before he can be connected, Seokjin quickly says, “What’s the name of that intern again?”

“Who?” his secretary asks, “We’ve hired four since the beginning of the year.”

“The one who keeps wanting to poison me.”

“I’m sorry, Sir?” she sounds concerned.

“The one who keeps forgetting that I despise cinnamon.”

There is no response.

“The older one. Spilled coffee a while ago but still has enough coordination to pull together a decent report.”

“Ah,” she says.

He waits patiently as she searches through the database, eventually giving him your name. He gives a slight pause and then says, “Good. Now patch me with Junho.”

There is a momentary buzz as the call becomes connected in which Seokjin turns over the syllables of your name wordlessly.

“Mr. Kim. The man of the hour. How are you, my brother?” Junho’s baritone fills the office in a manner of seconds.

Despite the little annoying quirks, Seokjin cannot help but smile when hearing the voice of his best friend.

“You’ve got three minutes, Junho.”

Junho grumbles. “That’s not my fault. You were the one still on the line with your secretary. Is it still Yerin? ‘Cuz I won’t blame you if that’s the case. Did I catch you doing some naughty phone sex during office hours?”

“Two.”

“Holy hell. Fine. It’s always business with you. That’s why the tabloids are always writing you as an uptight asshole.”

This shifts Seokjin’s attention to the phone. His name is seldomly mentioned except for the features in business columns. He prefers to stay out of the limelight.

“What?”

“Put your name on Google.”

Seokjin does as he is told.

There are millions of results, but the first few pages share the same headline. He clicks on the first one with a grimace.

“Kim Seokjin. Mr. Worldwide Handsome as noted by his fans, has recently sparked Internet outrage.”

A quick skim of the otherwise trashy article brought to the surface a summary: his last dating scandal had ended badly and the repercussions of blowing off a famous celebrity’s daughter had finally caught up with him. The Internet was calling him arrogant, narrow-minded, and even greedy. “The young Chief Executive Officer of booming social media app DailyHive has been accused of using his relationship with actress XYZ to further his own business. Once he gained recognition from aforementioned relationship, he has cold-heartedly cast her away to pursue his next.” “You’re calling me for this bullshit?” Seokjin scoffs. Junho tuts his tongue loudly. “This is not bullshit. It’s affecting the image of your company. Do you think people want to download and support an app that is run by somebody who is being called cruel and dishonest? You’ve got to address this soon before it gets out of control. You’re lucky I have alerts set for these type of things. I caught it for you just in the nick of time.” Seokjin inhales deeply. “You’re also lucky that I’ve got the perfect solution in mind.” “That is?” “The Silver Gala,” Junho references the prestigious event. The Silver Gala is hosted annually and attended by the largest celebrities as well as other wealthy investors and guests. Those in the social circle shared between Seokjin and Junho often yearned for tickets to attend events such as this, as they serve as excellent networking opportunities. Besides the above, such events are circled by reporters and writers of gossip columns to get the exclusive scoop on any eyebrow-raising rumours. “The solution lies in such an event,” Junho continues, “You know how many people will be there. All you’ve got to do is show up with your average girl-next-door type and it’ll show how you’re actually really humble and down to earth. Kim Seokjin is perfectly capable of dating like any regular human being. He doesn’t use “love” or whatever to further his business. Love is the connection between two souls; two individuals who – ” “Beep. Your time has run out Junho. I’ve got another meeting scheduled right this moment,” Seokjin interrupts. “Dude, seriously. Think about it. You could bring Yerin. Everbody loves a good CEO and his secretary affair. And if that’s too juicy for you, I can introduce you to some girls. Or maybe we could go back to our university days and hit a bar, y’know?” Junho tries his best to persuade. “Fuck!” you swear beneath your breath right as you walk into Kim Seokjin’s office. His door had been open and, in your excitement to show your completed report, you had dropped all the loose papers on the ground. Four hours of organization gone, just like that. You hope that at least Seokjin hasn’t heard or noticed you as he had been engrossed in his phone call. Seokjin had in fact noticed you. He can’t help himself but follow the curvature of your bare shoulder as your bangs escape the hold of your scrunchie and sweep across your skin. “Don’t worry, Junho, I’ve just thought about it,” he says with a smile.

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